NationStates Jolt Archive

http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee301/JDBreeze1/worldvision6pe8.jpg

The night is finally among us. The grandest of song competitions has come to the Douglas Civic Center. It's time for the sixth Worldvision Song Contest!

A sellout crowd is anxiously awaiting the start of the show. And with 14 entrants, this contest could be the most competitive and exciting one yet.

One by one, the acts are introduced as they enter the arena:

Wavispa - Superstar, Jasmina (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13860979)
Bazalonia - (Just Put It) In My Belly, Gregory Jones (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13868208)
The Archregimancy - The Troparion of Kassiani, The Arctic Hermits of the Archregimancy (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13868171)
Cafundéu - How Much Does You Cost, Anise Neomeu (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13869968)
Khenas - Twelve Points, Radio Silajske (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13874230)
Cachette de Lions - Athena, Rhoda Black (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13866293)
Mallatarsland - Silent But Deadly, Harry Stottle (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13877008)
Zwangzug - The Pendulum, The Neoreactionaries (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13899829)
Rejistania - Salan Kihle, Kansu I Lan (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13939773)
Sorthern Northland - I've Got A Lovely Pint Of Beer, The Drunken Wankers (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13939956)
Kura-Pelland - No Going Back, Jackie Tarquin (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13938163)
Scotchpinestan - Celebrate People, The Banjo Men (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13924111)
Krytenia - Under A Blue Sky, Andy Robidoux (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13874798)
Wentland - Simultaneous Existence and Non-Existence, Professor Daniel Blenkinsop (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13893149)


((Links to the songs will be added as songs are performed))

The stage is set. The performers are in the building. And the crowd is pumped up for what could be the greatest night of live music Douglas has ever seen.

The Worldvision Song Contest begins...right now!

Some notables from the opening ceremony:

- When Radio Silajske, from Khenas, was introduced, one fan held a sign that said "NO POINTS FOR KHENAS". The sign may have been a reference to Radio Silajske's song, which is called Twelve Points, itself a possible reference to the maximum number of points a nation can award an act at Worldvision.

- The announcers apparently were unsure of how to pronounce Niezwykłe, but it didn't really matter: A large vocal Swilatian contingent effectively drowned the announcers out when Niezwykłe was introduced.

- Also out in full force were the Bazalonian fans, supporting Gregory Jones, and the contingent from Cafundéu, who apprently get just as excited for Worldvision as they do for the World Cup.

- The Banjo Men, as expected, got the loudest ovation from the Scotchpine crowd.

- The Drunken Wankers, from Sorthern Northland, were received warmly by the crowd even though not many of their flags could be seen waving. There were a few, though, which is more than can be said for Solenial - only one Solenial flag was spotted in the entire crowd, although perhaps most of the Solenial fans were sitting behind fans from other countries with bigger flags.

- Wentland's Professor Daniel Blenkinsop also seemed to get a louder-than-most response. A possible explanation: a previous Wentland entry, Look at My Cock, became a #1 hit in Scotchpinestan. Perhaps the Professor can duplicate that feat.

- None of the acts were booed, at least not very loudly, but Mallatarsland's Harry Stottle seemed to get a somewhat muted reaction. Perhaps it was fitting - his song is called Silent But Deadly. Some Swilatians were seen booing the Rejistanian entry, Salan Kihle, but their boos were drowned out by cheers from elsewhere.

- Many of the acts seemed genuinely excited to be at Worldvision, and most acknowledged the crowd enthusiastically. The notable exception to this was The Arctic Hermits of the Archregimancy, who marched in very stoically, not even seeming to acknowledge or hear the cheers for them.

Well, the opening ceremony went well.

It did?

Yes, we weren't booed this time, Although Harry Stottle looked a bit nervous.

Yes, it was a rather muted reception he got. Do you think it was due to our previous entries being a bit tongue in cheek.

Possibly. Maybe they think "Silent but Deadly" is another silly song.

Well, its not. Its a poignant take on Assassination and the evils behind it.

Damn, I thought it was about farting...........

Wiadzase: So, once again, it's the WorldVision contest. And I get stuck watching it again, like last year's epic disappointment. And the one before, and the- but mostly last year's. That one seriously sucked.

Jawalski: Yeah, but WorldVision has always sucked. It's been that way from the begining, and we know there's no way to save it. Even though we were able to make the contest a little bit better by throwing those stupid "world peace and unconditional love" theme out the window, the contest still sucks.

Wiadzase: Yeah, but last year's was particulary terrible, because, there wasn't even much stuoff stupid enough to really talk about. There was no country forcing some-one to perform at the contest, nothing in the voting besides a bunch of countries and numbers,no performances were really interrupted, except after, when we couldn't see. So nothing like that Lerasia song or that Wentland song... There might have been that Wijaska song, but that was it.

Jawalski: Well, the Wavispa song was somewhat interrupted...

Wiadzase: Yeah, but that was after the song. We could hear those stupid little soccermoms ranting about how they didn't want something like that as the country's entry, but to most of us, it was drowned out by the next song. And besides, Wentland, usually the country with one of the weirdest songs, this year just had a bunch of stupid accountants. And the voting sucked, they brought back that crappy anouncer from contest 3...

Jawalski: Well, the-

Wiadzase: No, I think I'm done talking about last year, let's just see what this year has to offer. Like, what countries we have, and what song they send.

Jawalski: Yeah, I don't think we should spend too much time talking about last years. If there wasn't much to talk about, why are we talking about it now after all? Anyway, fist we have Wavispa, sending another of the country's pop singers. Then, Bazalonia, anlong with many other countries, we don't know what they're sending.

Wiadzase: Well, okay, what do we already know?

Jawalski: Well, going down the list we have those religious wackos from the Archregi - however it's pronounced, doing on of those weird religion songs, for a pretty much guaranteed low place...

Wiadzase: Seriously, what are they doing in contest like this? I would have thought there would be some weird commandment or something like that against it. But, well, can be more cruel to them after they perform their song. So what other countries do we already know about.

Jawalski: Well, there's Cafundeu, singing about money again, this time the song is called "How Much Does You Cost?". But this time, instead of a pop rock song, it's been said that they are going to show their own music style, MPC or something like that.

Wiadzase: Sure, that's waht they're saying, but we can already see their musical style. Seriously, why is it so hard for them not to sing about money. Pretty much every song in their NF was about money, nothing else. And besides, does t rewally matter what they say? Like Mallatarsland said this year that they would send a more serious song, but knowing the quality of songs in their selection, it probably just simply has a bit less toilet humour then the other ones.

Jawalski: Yeah, that what Mallatarsland always do, they're starting to become the new Lovisa really. ALways sending trash. Always coming back for more. Why haven't they gotten null points yet? Maybe that will scare them off...

Wiadzase: Maybe. But the voting is a long way off. So there's 19 songs before the voting, not sure I can survive this, but the contest has always ended ub being cut short, as some countries don't show up. Anyways, here comes the first song!

Jessica Phillips and Jake Gillings, the new Wavispa commentary team.

Jessica: Looks like there's going to whole load of *beep* this year, isn't there?

Jake: No way! The contest, it's alway totally radical, dude!

Jessica: You drank seawater, didn't you?

Jake: No way! The contest, it's alway totally radical, dude!

Jessica: Are you even listening to me??

Jake: No way. The contest is-

Jessica: Thought so.

Jake: You like WorldVision too? Cool!

Jessica: Why the *beep* did I even take this *beep*ing job??

Jake: 'Cause WorldVision, it's like totally sweet, dude.

Jessica: Just shut the *beep* up, okay? *hits Jake with a long wooden stick* And you, why are you bleeping me??

Jake: 'Cause WorldVision is

Jessica: I wasn't *beep*ing talking to you! *hits Jake on head with stick, and complains about beeps again*

Jake: Well, all the songs are like...

Jessica: *hits Jake yet again* All the songs are *beep*. Seriously we have a bunch of *beep*ing priests, Some stupid *beep*ing drunks and frogs! And guys with *beep*ing banjos! banjos of all things.

Swigging from a large bottle of Vodka, Robbie Nobbs looks around at the opposition as they sit in the rehearsal room having just been shown around. He has been drinking now for 18 hours straight and is seen to be swaying dramatically as wanders amongst his peers.

Tonight will be his chance to prove to his Nation that he can sing and they can win their inaugural entry to WorldVision.
"Time for bed", he mumbles to himself and putting the stopper back in the bottle, he stumbles out of the exit and heads slowly and carefully towards his hotel.

The other entrants look after him in shock. Surely, this man has no chance. The competition starts in earnest tonight and this shadow of a man is barely able to walk. How did he win the hearts of his own Nation. How will he cope under the stress and strain of performing in front of millions?

"Professor Blenkinsop?"

A rather timid man in tweed jacket, leather elbow-patches, thick glasses, a beard and snuff stains faintly visible lifted his head.

"Do you want to run through your performance?"

"Performanth? No, no, it ith not a performanth. It ith educational. I am tho glad that the good people of Thcotchpinethtan have given me thith opportunity to ekthplore the pawadokth of ekthithtenth and non-ekthithtenth. It should make a change from the usual jiggery-pokery. I trutht it will be of thome intewetht."

"Er...yes, indeed. Have you your backing musicians?"

" Muthithianth? Why would I need muthithianth? Thith ith a LECTURE! An ekthplication of whether E and not-E can ekthitht thide by thide. Muthic would only dithtwact the thpectatorth from the wordth."

"Riiiiiight...no visual show of any sort?"

"I have my powerpoint. Will the pwojector be weady?"

"Er...whatever you thay...I mean say, Professor."

"Thank you tho much. You're vewy kind. Now, to thcore with thome thtudent babeth."

The first song to be perormed was the Wavispa entry, Superstar by Jasmina. The performance used a lot of light effects, as instead of the stage being all lit up in one colout like usually, there were different-coloured star shapes going on and off all oved the LED panels and video screens. The performance also feature many dancers dressed as famous musicians such as Elvis, Madonna, The Beatles, and ACDC.

Sayale czase, hasa pionsenka (In the ancient time there was a singer)
Se nadari sana, to ne doseta (Her country knew her, that's not enough)
Se utvori sana, to ne doseta (They knew her songs, that's not enough)
She wanted world fame

She was a superstar, you knew her
She was a superstar, you all knew her
She was a superstar, you voted her
You all know her, You all know her
She is here tonight

Na etipaja, se ha kalera (She was just like a queen of the stage)
Ha czase ve one, utvori pogleda (Like when she showed her song to the world)
Na czase vo one, utvori popiesa (Like when she sang her song to the world)
I'll be your shining star

She was a superstar, you knew her
She was a superstar, you all knew her
She was a superstar, you voted her
Ne doseta, Ne doseta (not enough, not enough)
She wanted world fame

She was a superstar, you knew her
She was a superstar, you all knew her
She was a superstar, you voted her
You all know her, You all know her
She is here tonight

You all know her, You all know her
She is here tonight

OOC - that's a troparion, not a toparion; and allow me to offer you a link to enable participants to hear something similar to the monastic entry


"...so we follow Just Put in my Belly, by Gregory Jones of Bazalonia."

"Ah. Bazalonia... They have a strong Orthodox Church, they do. No doubt that's a prayer about breaking a fast, Fr. Euphemius."

"And after us comes a little number called What's Up Sally, by Jimmy and the Frogs of Solenial."

"Which is a prayer about what, precisely?"

"Why, I'm not sure I know, Fr. Polyeuctus."

"You did say this was the Worldvision Prayer Contest, didn't you?"

"Well, err... yes. At least I thought it was."

"So perhaps you'd like to explain to me precisely which theological matter is celebrated by the entry I've Got A Lovely Pint Of Beer by The Drunken Wankers?"

"Christ's first miracle?"

"I think you'll find that involved wine, not beer."

"We all know that. I was trying to lighten the mood."

"And this number from Cachette De Lions... doesn't that celebrate a pagan Goddess?"

"Someone made a mistake, didn't they?"

"I'll say. Still, only one way forward now..."

"What's that, Fr. Polyeuctus?"

"Practice, dear boy... practice... (http://www.musicale.gr/_repository/kassiani/sounds/kassiani.wma)"

That last song was TOTALLY WICKED!! I hope all the songs in the contest are going to be like it. 'cause that's going to make a great contest. It's going to be wickedy!

Um, no that's going to make a completely dreadful show. Just look athe song. She could not song, none of the dancer could dance, it was some of the worst songwriting I have ever-

It was WICKEDY!!

No, it was not. it was one of the absolute worst

Oh, come now. Do you always have to criticise everything? That was a great song. Come on. How often do-

That's exactly my point, you usually don't. It takes special talent to make something that bad, so honestly, why do they waste their time writing such a bad song? They could be doing something much better for the world, like-

That song was wickedy!

Did anyone ask for you opinion?

Come on now! It was a good song!

OOC: Bump.

BTW, this is going no-where. Maybe send out TG's, like you did to point everyone to the NF's thread?

A pale woman in a black dress steps out on to the stage, which is initially completely dark but becomes lighter. As string music begins playing, the woman sings, initially softly, but growing in intensity.

I call you to the mountainside
I speak to you from afar
I can see clearly in the distance
But I can see nothing in your heart
I was always told love would prevail
I can't see that it's true
If I'm supposed to trust my instincts
Why do they keep leading me to you?

The music suddenly becomes louder as she begins the chorus:

All the wisdom of Athena couldn't help me now
I need more than a wish and a prayer to get me through somehow
I'm hoping beyond hope that you will see
I'd love you beyond love but it won't be
And if I try again I fear I won't succeed
Athena, she couldn't save me now...

Rhoda then moves over to the piano, and plays a short instrumental, and the string music becomes quieter again. She then begins to sing once more, softly again:

I always believed people were good
Until I met you
I cannot give you anymore tears
I've cried enough for two
So why do I...

<she then suddenly becomes louder again>

still come back to you?

After holding the final note, she then returns to the chorus, this time sung even more powerfully than before.

All the wisdom of Athena couldn't help me now
I need more than a wish and a prayer to get me through somehow
I'm hoping beyond hope that you will see
I'd love you beyond love but it won't be
And if I try again I fear I won't succeed
Athena, she couldn't save me now...

The music then drops away again, as she sings the final line.

When prayer has failed and hope is gone, there's no way to save me now...

The lights fall. Six black-clad Orthodox monks walk onto the stage, each one holding a candle and an icon. Behind them is a seventh monk holding a censer, from which the sweet scent of rosemary-infused incense wafts across the audience.

The monks stand utterly motionless, and in perfectly in-tune unaccompanied polyphony, begin to sing....

Kyrie, i en poless amartiess
peripessoussa ghini,
tin syn esthomeni theotita, myrophorou
analavoussa taksin, odhyromeni,
mira si pro tou entaphiasmou komizi.
Imi! leghoussa, oti nyx mi iparchi,
isstross akolassiass,
zophodhiss te ke aselinoss,
eross tiss amartiass.
Dhekse mou tass pighass ton dhakryon,
o nepheless dhieksaghon tiss thalassiss to hydhor.
Kamphthiti mi pross touss stenaghmouss
tiss kardhiass,
o klinass tous ouranouss, ti aphato sou kenossi.
Kataphilisso tous achrandouss sou podhass,
aposmikso toutouss dhe pallin,
tiss tiss kephaliss mou vosstrichiss;
on en to paradhisso Eva to dhilinon,
kroton tiss ossin ichithissa, to phovo ekrivi.
Amartion mou ta plithi,
ke krimaton sou avissouss,
tis eksichniassi psychossosta Sotir mou?
Mi me tin sin dhoulin paridhis,
o ametriton echon to eleoss.

20 minutes later, after completing the troparion, they leave the stage, neither acknowledging nor waiting for applause - or any other recognition - from the audience of heathens and heretics.

Some will find the performance moving, some will find it confronting, some will find it boring, all will find it unique.

The stage quiet after the monk's left perfect time for a dramatic difference in the style of music.

Coloured lights turned on show musicians on the stage as they started playing in a sort of half-metal rock ballad, Gregory Jones slowly stolled on stage and started singing...

My one, my own, my true love
Food, I could eat you up
From the sweet-lilts of sugared drinks
To the Heart-racing action of all that fat

[chorus]
Just put inside, stuff it in your mouth
Just put it in your belly, do you even know what it is?
Just put it in your belly getting big and fat
Just all this food, going down inside

Lovely, Sweet, that you are
Obsess'd that is what I am
An affair that can never end
Till you kill me during my delight

[chorus]

That is what we are
Groping one meal to another
Food is for life, not life for food
but from all these ads you may think different

[chorus]

[bridge]
All that food
All that waste
All that fat
We just put it in our belly

[chorus]

It's all in my Belly.
All that food.
I'm ... so... full.

Jake: That was awesome! Do it again!

Jessica: That? You've got to be kidding, right? Those songs were complete *beep*. *hits jake again* Besides, now the next countries have to perform. And those are going to-

Jake: Cool. I wanna see more. Like, Valeneska, Sorthern Northland, Solenial, Swilatia,

Jessica: *hits Jake on head with stick* Those songs are going to suck. Come on Ne... Nezvi... Those guys.

Jake: Yeah, they're a totally cool band, dude.

Jessica: *hits Jake once again, stick breaks* Oh, *beep*. What the *beep* am I going to hit Jake with now??

Jake: Oh, and you can't forget about the Valeneska. That one's gonna be totally awesome!

Jessica: Valeneska?? I wish I could hit you right now. Seiously, Valeneska? That's going suck more then the songs we've already had.

Jake: No way. Those songs were totally radical, dude!

Jessica: If you're saying superstar is good-

Jake: No way, that song was totally radical, dude.

Jessica: *throws half of broken stick at Jake*

Wiadzase: So, we've just had the first 4 songs. Ten more to go. Well, okay actually fifteen to go, but somehow there always ends up just 14, the other usually end up not being peformed. So, the first to weren't much to talk about, both were stuff WorldVision has already seen before, one was the weird foreign language song, and the other was a piano girl song.

Jawalski: I'm not really sure abort those two... I don't think just saying "weird foreign song" is really enough for the Wavispa entry, it's just too wierd for that. Seriously, we know it's just impersonators, but do you really think a rock band would want to be caught dead dancing to that kind of stuff? And the Cachette de Lions song? I see the lady, but where's the piano?

Wiadzase: Indeed, the Wavispa entry is just too weird to be called a "Weird foreign song", besides, Rejistania, the country who the title was created for are participating this year.

Jawalski: The Rejistanians are back? I guess there won't be any point covering the voting, everyone know what's going to happen.

Wiadzase: Yeah, now that they're here, the contest isn't really a contest anymore, aside from seeing who makes the top 4. But maybe we should still see if their song isn't something that deserves a low spot.

Jawalski: Well, I don't know any Rejistanian, so the title doesn't give any clues, so we'll just have to wait and see... but some songs we do know about, Cafundeu is singing about money again, Khenas has a song about voting, Sorthern Northalnd has... the same song they were going to send to contest 5, Valeneska has a fake rapper, Wentland has some weird professor talking about some weird physics stuff, and we have Niezwykłe.

Wiadzase: Wait. If Niezwykłe are representing us... How the hell did they win the Piosenka dla Swilasji??

Jawalski: Well, last year we had a joke entry, and our worst result yet, even worse then our result in WorldVision 3. So, the people decided that if we wanted to do better, we should stop the funny business. This was the people's idea of taking the contest seriously.

Wiadzase: Well, no-one ever won with a good song. Anyway, since there isn't that much time to the next song, well, there were still to more songs. one was the Bazalonia entry, the other was some weird priest music from the archregimancy. And, wait that one was in a foreign language as well. Maybe that one should be the weird foreign song?

Jawalski: No, I don't know really. We've had Wavispa, we've had the Archregimancy, and We're going to have at least Rejistania still. So lot's of countries are singing in native languages. It's like WorldVision 1 all over again.

Wiadzase: Well, without Lovisa, those fascist countries, the whole peace and love theme, or imported "talent". We can all thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster for that.

It is time for the Cafundelense entry to enter in the stage. It is Anise Neomeu, a 44-year old singer known for writing and singing love and political-related songs. In Cafundéu, she had already won many prizes, and defeated the popular group Interest Rate (second placed in the last Worldvision) to participate in the competition in Scotchpinestan (home of the "Funk Freak" of the last edition of the song contest). This time, the song wasn't written by her, but by her son Rafael Neomeu (that's why the theme is about a man trying to get the attention of a women, although the singer is female) The name of Anise was already announced, but she still didn't enter in the stage, the delay is a bit uncomfortable for the ones watching, but they wait patiently.

Finally, Anise Neomeu's work partners enter in the stage. And it's a lot of people. Two guitar players, some back vocals, a piano being brought to the stage by some common workers, the drums come right after, a saxophone player and even a violin player. All of them take their places. Then Anise enters. She has a long black hair and fair skin, and waves to the public. She reaches the middle of the stage, tests the microphone... and the music starts.

Before she starts singing, there is an instrumental introduction composed by only the piano and the violin. Only in the end of the introduction the guitars start to be played, while the violin stops. Seconds after, Anise starts to sing, with a calm but strong voice. The music is very slow, and the melody controls the pace of the words:

When you're close to me
In any common situation
Something inside me seems different
I can't avoid this sensation

After this part, the drums and the saxophone start to be played, and this part can even be considered the chorus of the song (although the phrases will change in the next time it'll be sang):

And it doesn't matter how hard I try
I am unable... to get your heart
Many other women I could buy
With jewellery, clothes, even art

But everything that I give... (instruments stop)
...you despise

When she finishes the "chorus", the guitars and the piano return to be played, but the violin, the saxophone and the drums remain silent.

It's uncertain what you're thinking
I don't know how to face you
My steps are fully planned
You are the one I pursue

Drums and saxophone enter for the chorus:

But my efforts aren't giving return
How can I attract you? ...I have no clue
Your price is my major concern
Tell me you needs... I'll buy, I'll do...

You just need to tell me... (instruments stop)
...how much

The saxophone plays alone for some time after that, and the piano starts to be played some seconds after. After this instrumental part of the song, the guitars join the piano once again:

How are you different from other women?
I've never failed before
My actions towards them ever succeed
With money, gifts and much more

Another chorus with the sax and the drums:

Why do you avoid my presents
How can your love... not be for sale
You have no idea what money represents
Nothing against money can prevail

(surprisingly, this time the chorus continues)

My money is my main and only way
To bring the happiness... I always need
For all I needed I was able to pay
But from getting you I'll not cede

Because I'm sure that... (instruments stop)
...you have a price

Which is your price?
Just say

What do you want?
I'll pay

How much does you cost?
Just say

How much does you cost?
I'll pay

The song ends with another instrumental part, similar to the one that introduced the song, with the violin and the piano.

After the end of the song, Anise thanks the public, and the Cafundelenses start to leave the stage.

Oh, I come from a country
That doesn't know how to
Write a song, Get some points
Yet we come back for more

Every year it's the same thing
when you watch the scoreboard
Coming last, in the past
Now it's time for the change

From the Zwangzug, from Swilatia...
Can't you see?
It's the night of another contest
Twelve points please
It's the time that it could happen

Bazalonia, and from Wentland...
Vote for us
With twleve points we climb the scoreboard
We can trust
That this year might be that one year

Can we say, let's not come in last
Still more votes, this one's still not the last

Like Wavispa, Rejistania...
Some more ponts?
One and one, they won't make twelve now
You can votes
Take your phone, the line's still open

Sorthern Northland to Krytenia...
Wait some more
We might still get twelve from some-one
That's not all
Those votes still are not the last ones

Near the end, We're not too high up
Though you said that we might actually have won

Valeneska with Scotchpinestan...
Why and Why
So far in with not one twelve points
Threes and Fives
Is that all they'll ever give us

You can't vote for your own country...
In the end
This was just another contest
And you said
That we still could do much better

Let's see...
Did we get any twelves, looks like no
Dis we fix our streak, looks like no
One more year
No more years
This should change
Why no change?

Okay, we forgot to name a few countries, Archregimancy, Solenial, Fat Obnoxius Scousers, Cafundeu, Cachette de Lions, Malltarsland, Gerainia, Kura-Pelland, and Krytenia, we didn't forget you, your names just didn't fit with the song! Anyways, those ones just voted now and we come in 18th. Hey, at least we're not in last place!

Alan Robidoux - Under A Blue Sky

I must have faced a thousand trials,
Feels like I’ve run a million miles,
But silence is all I can hear,
The heartless, cold face of fear.

They took over the news today,
It looks like Didi’s here to stay,
But I can hear the voices in the night,
They’re saying “This is our fight.”

We have the voice, we are the people,
But no matter how we try;
There’s no-one listening to the sound,
Can’t they see we all live under a blue sky?

CHORUS
This is the land we live in
And this is the voice we're given
Freedom under a blue sky
This is the song our hearts sing out

Oh Hessenthaler hear our cry,
This revolution’s gone awry,
It’s time to stop the madness now,
It’s just that we don’t know how.

This is our land, these are our streets,
But we can’t open their eyes
And now they want to bring us down
Can’t they see we all live under a blue sky?

This is the land we live in
And this is the voice we're given
Freedom under a blue sky
This is the song our hearts sing out

MIDDLE EIGHT
I remember long ago
When the stars were shining
We used to sing through the night, no worries in sight
Want to go back to the way of,
So long ago…

Now we’re all coming home tonight,
We’ve got the chance to put it right,
Now it’s our time to take the stage,
The future’s just a blank page.

We have the voice, we are the people,
And now watch how we fly!
Free at last from all our chains,
Now you see we all live under a blue sky!

This is the land we live in
And this is the voice we're given
Freedom under a blue sky
This is the song our hearts sing out

This is the land we live in
And this is the voice we're given
Freedom under a blue sky
This is the song for all the world…

Harry Stottle walks slowly onto the stage. No cheap stunts or party tricks, just a man in a suit holding a microphone.

He sings.

They come in the night soon after its dark
They sneak into your life to take it away
You don't stand a chance if you are the mark
You won't live to see the next day.
Silent but deadly they reach out to get you
By the time that you notice its far too late
For money or fame whatever they need
If you're on the menu, your heads on the plate.

They are the Assassins this isn't a game
Your number is up once they have your name
Yes, your number is up once they have your name.

Wherever you hide you will always be found
Once your name appears on their file
You'll be unable to vanish or go underground
They travel with plenty of guile.
Yes silent but deadly they reach out to get you
Weapons all ready with poison inside.
Your life will be over so wave it goodbye
Its the end of your time you'll have died.

They are the Assassins this isn't a game
Your number is up once they have your name
Yes, your number is up once they have your name.

They are the Assassins this isn't a game
Your number is up once they have your name
Yes, your number is up once they have your name.

The music fades and Harry Stottle bows and leaves the stage.

OOC: Instead of using different tags around the lines, I decided to give my guys names. (Stevan, Vasek, Kristina)

Stevan: So, yeah, Kristina, the songs in the contest are dreadful, and no, you're not going to tell me to wait, and see more songs before I talk, because I wanted to do this after 4 song, but did after 7. All of which were just terrible.

Vasek: No, the Khenas entry was wickedy! They'll sure get my twelve points!

Stevan: No, that song was completely dreadful, they could not sing, they cound not dance, and they could not write a song. I'm afraid the only thing they actually were able to do in that song was predict their place in the contest. I can't exactly see any-one voting for that kind of trash.

Kristina: Oh, come on now, Stevan.

Stevan: And besides, what about the other songs. Like, Mallatarsland, Cafundeu, Bazalonia, the Archregimancy... were those also "wickedy" to you?

Vasek: Um...

Stevan: See. Even Vasek says he doesn't like those songs, so they obviously have to be terrible. It must be hard to write something that isn't "wickedy" to him.

Kristina: Come on now. Just because a song isn't all that popular doesn't meanit's bad. All those songs have a plus or two. I quite liked the Cachette de Lions song...

Stevan: Wow, Kristina. You like all the popular songs, You like all the not so popular songs... Is there anything you don't consider to be "the best WorldVision performance so far"? Seriously. I don't get it. Even the Archregimency. How is any-one supposed to get that one. It made no sense! I didn't even know what language it was, let alone what the words meant.

Vasek: Yeah, but Khenas was wickedy!

Stevan: Could you please shut up about Khenas. That song was not good, it was not "wickedy", it is not better then any other piece of trash in this contest. When will you get that.

Kristina: Oh, Stevan. Do you have to criticise every single song in the contest.

Stevan: Well, that's what all the commentaries do. Besides, how does one not criticise these songs? They are just so bad, that...

Jake: Those songs were totally righteous, dude.

Jessica: Oh, god. Why can't you just say "radical" like you did in the last intermission.

Jake: Oh,tose songs, they were also like, totally righteous.

Jessica: Would you just shut the *beep* up about your little "rigtheous" nonsense. Oh, wait, I can do this! *throws stapler at Jake's head*

WMD Person: What are you doing! You're supposed to talk about the songs, not throw office supples at the other guy!

Jessica: So you're the stupid little *beep* whose been bleeping me. Besides, Jake is a complete moron and I'm afraid I have no choice but to throw stuff at him until it knocks some sense in! *Throws a pencil sharpener at Jake. Jake is knocked out*

WMD Person: Stop! This is absolety unacceptable! You can't do this during WorldVision. Think of the childen!

Jessica: Isn't that the same load of *beep* you said to the to your own entry last time! *throws Jake's nameplate at WMD person*

WMD Person: You know, this wasn't the best thing to do. Especially if you want to talk about next year's contest.

Jessica: You think I WANT to be here??

I don't get it. Even the Archregimency. How is any-one supposed to get that one. It made no sense! I didn't even know what language it was, let alone what the words meant....

OOC - Not sure if that was meant IC'ly or not, but just in case there's any doubt out there among other participants, it was Greek, but written in the Latin alphabet for the sake of accessibility.

bumpage (the new 6 character minimum nonsense is fail.)

Professor Blenkinsop took to the stage, with a confused and intrigued audience watching. He hadn't attended rehearsals, but he adjusted his thick specs and peered out at the crowd. He had a clicker in his hand and pressed to call up a powerpoint. He glanced behind. It wasn't working.

"Oh dear...have you all got your handouts? I shall work fwom them."

The audience murmured and shuffled. Handouts?

"Never mind, they shall be in your pigeonholes tomowwow. Now, then, the pawadockth of ekthithtenth."

There was a titter.

"The King of Fwanth hath a beard. Twue or falth?"

Fwanth? Where was that?

"The quethtion ith meaningleth, to thome ekthtent. There ith no king of Fwanth. Indeed there might not be a Fwanth, I have jutht made it up.

"But that doeth not mean that the quethtion ith an impwoper quethtion to athk. It ith not an impwoper quethtion. It fulfilth all the kwiteria of a quethtion. It hath an interrogative particle, it ith pothible to anthwer it, it ith thomething with which one can deal."

The audience's eyes were on stalks. What was this? It wasn't even a song. It was just a lecture of some description.

"Now, thome would thay that the quethtion mutht be anthwered falth. The quethtion pwe-thuppotheth the ekthithtenth of the king of Fwanth. Therefore the quethtion can be re-read ath "there ith a king of Fwanth and he hath a beard". Therefore the anthwer ith falth."

The audience nodded.

"But can you PWOVE it'th falthity? Show me a beardleth king of Fwanth, I shall take the pothition ath akthiomatic for pwethent purpotheth that you ekthitht, and I will conthede the pothition.

"Perhapth the anthwer ith TWUE? It cannot be demonthwated to be falth. You cannot show me a beardleth king of Fwanth. Therefore the anthwer to the quethtion ith twue.

"You might thee thith better from an alternative viewpoint. Pegathuth ith a winged horth. Twue or falth? Motht followerth of faiwy-taleth would thay, yeth, Pegathuth ith indeed a winged horth. It ith therefore twue.

"But where ith Pegathuth? It ith not weal. It ith a fable. We are not talking about a real horth but an ideal horth, one which ith merely hypothethithed for the puwpotheth of a thtowy. Tho do you re-conthtwuct the quethtion ath "there ith a horth with wingth and it ith called Pegathuth?" I don't think tho. Thith proveth that the king of Fwanth quethtion mutht be anthwered twue."

There was a brief burst of applause.

"Or mutht it? After all, what ith ekthithtenth? Can it be argued into or out of ekthithtenth -"

Just then the Professor saw someone frantically making signals.

"Are you alright, thir?"

"Err, yes, but you must end in the next twenty seconds, you're running over time."

"Time? Now that'th a vewy interethting quethtion. Have we got time to talk time?"

"No, you must end NOW."

"Oh, all right. Where'th my fee? Thank you, ladieth and gentlemen, your homework ith due in tomowwow."

((bump))

The Pendulum-The Neoreactionaries

(main melody (http://www.zshare.net/audio/183697992457ac9d/)-through "in the air")
I stood atop the world before I learned to stand
And it's as lonely as they say
I never felt the pendulum clutched in my hand
It had already swung away

And I would never choose to bear my father's shame
I have a world to lose
And not too much to gain

I know I'm over here
And know you're over there
And yes, sometimes I fear
Between us there is friction in the air

You might still live within a scarred and broken land
Or maybe you were evicted
But in destruction you have never had a hand
You're innocent: I'm convicted

And you would never choose to bear your mother's pain
A power you can't use
Is power earned in vain

I know I'm over here
And know you're over there
And yes, sometimes I fear
Between us there is friction in the air

(bridge melody (http://www.zshare.net/audio/18369823ed7268df/)-through "math")
The elegant formulas are just approximations
But summing the pendulum's path
Is still easier than comprehending so-called "nations"
That start it in its unforgiving math

What you have gone through I will never understand
I won't insult you by trying
But reach around the pendulum and take my hand
We'll step away from the dying

Though neither of us chose to bear our people's names
And our respective woes
Will never be the same

I know I'm over here
And know you're over there
And yes, sometimes I fear
But I believe there's friction in the air (coda melody (http://www.zshare.net/audio/1836983648d8c386/)-from beginning of this line to end)

And when it slows the pendulum down to a halt
Neither will rule and neither one will be at fault
But we'll stand side by side at last
And build up futures from the past
I'll meet you in the center, as a peer

OOC: Apologies, have had my laptop stolen and will be offline for around 10 days or so.
my puppet nation Fat Obnoxious Scousers will withdraw.

The Banjo Men come out to the deafening roar of the crowd. There are seven of them, each with a banjo. There is also what appears to be a giant banjo lying on the stage, though no one is standing near it as the song begins.

Interestingly, this is the first act to elect to have the stage raised to the second deck (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13746803&postcount=25).

Come on everybody, one and all, come on down
It's time to take our troubles and forget them all for now
It may not be great weather, and it's not a holiday
But it's a lovely time to celebrate

Celebrate people, 'cause that's what we are
Celebrate people, from near or far
In this production, we all play a part
So let's celebrate people, and how great we are

Man, woman, short, tall, dark-skinned or fair
All that really matters is, we breathe the same air
Fat, skinny, young, old, you don't need to hide
Today we celebrate what's inside

Celebrate people, 'cause that's what we are
Celebrate people, from near or far
In this production, we all play a part
So let's celebrate people, and how great we are

At this point, one of the men kicks off his shoes, then jumps onto the giant banjo and starts playing it with his feet, all while playing his regular banjo with his hands at the same time. He continues this for the remainder of the song.

Now I don't speak Farsi, or Dutch, or Cantonese
But if you do, by all means, come join us, please!
Whether you pray to one god, or a million, or none
We all can have the same fun

Celebrate people, 'cause that's what we are
Celebrate people, from near or far
In this production, we all play a part
So let's celebrate people, and how great we are

The song goes up in key for the finish

Celebrate people, 'cause that's what we are
Celebrate people, from near or far
In this production, we all play a part
So let's celebrate people, and how great we are

Let's put aside our anger, let's put aside our cares
Let's take one day to celebrate people everywhere
No matter where you come from, no matter where you live
Each one of us has something to give

So let's celebrate people!

Instead of trying to explain what the Kura-Pellandi entry, No Going Back, sounded like...

Hear it yourself. Or probably don't bother, as it's come out horrendously (http://www.zshare.net/audio/17307118cbb19f90/)

Visually; Jackie Tarquin is wearing a short-ish blue strapless dress, torn between formal and racy, and has long flowing brown hair. She's accompanied on stage by a string quartet, and the video screen remains muted in dark blue with the occasional burst of brighter hues at appropriate points.


I recall when I was lonely
All my dreams seemed far beyond me
That was then but now things are changing
This is my new start
There's no going back

Something's changing deep inside me
Someone shone their light upon me
Bathing in the glow, now I can see
This is my new start
There's no going back

Darkness was all that I was used to
But now I open my eyes and see
See

That those days are gone
May they be forgotten
This is my new start
There's no going back from here

(OOC: stupid Konqueror ate my posting!)

Kansu I Lan looked innocent despite or maybe because of her long, silver-sequined dress, which nearly reached the ground. Her face seemed untouched by makeup and in childlike perfection, her hair was in 2 braids, both held by silver-glittering hairbands. The sleeves of the dress were semi-transparent and glittered in silver and green.

The music started with drums, claps and 'musical bows' and Kansu first sang the basic notes as if to tell the more western melody-instruments what chords to use. Then the stanza began:

Ve! Tekne'sejil!
Xe'ki, il'ki ji xe'ma'ta 'dimil!
I! Xen'ma disde
xen'ma dia vi 'mes vi xen'ma 'deshe!
xe'oki'koleni!
Xe'xan 'iek ivyk ji kaju!
Iln'lanja'ma 'hjani.
Ki'tan mi'liu!

(Yes! The world is bad!
I know it, you know it but I can not write it!
But We can decide
we can heal or witness or hurt!
I sure think (about it)
I plan to oppose shame and fight.
You might agree (literally: You are able to possibly agree)
The future belongs to all of us (literally: is shared))

The music subtly changed harmonies for the refrain:

Xe'lelej xen'lanjamesit'erid
'iek ivykerid!
Sijei ji sija!
Xen'ikeda tani'mesit leje!
Salan kihle! Salan kihle!

(I hope we decide
not to live badly (literally: I hope we might commit to / oppose to fall into disgrace)
tomorrow and today*!
We gradually approach this!
This is advantageous!)

The next stanzas were similarly exaggerated, even for rejistanian ears. But one of the fascinations of reja-pop is that it offers an easy alternative to the cruel reality. An alternative where a clear distinction between good and bad exists and the listener is on the side of the good.

Nil! Mi'kynha'ta!
Shensa ynu mi'ki'jeneseve sihara!
Xen! Xen'jiva'ta!
Erid'het mi'aru temen altena!
Va'het'ny janek
min'ki'ytin tekne'het!
Minji'ny'xen savek
min'ki'va misne'het!

(No! it is not easy!
The dark forces influence the world around you!
We! We won't give up!
The cause is most important!
Small acts
will change the world
our busy hands
will make a difference)

She then sang the refrain again, sweetly and innocently:

Xe'lelej xen'lanjamesit'erid
'iek ivykerid!
Sijei ji sija!
Xen'ikeda tani'mesit leje!
Salan kihle! Salan kihle!

And instrumental section, with slightly different harmonies and more intensive rhythms followed. Kansu sang:

Salan, saaalan kihle!

After a third repetition of the refrain, the song faded. As the light faded, Kansu stood on the stage with arms spread like the statue of Hank~hila Sede in Sike.

* This is a (maybe unintentional) reference to the original rejistanian national anthem

"You know if we don't hurry up we be in the same situation as last time, when our entry was disqualified!"

"Oh that wouldn't be good, who is our entry anyway?"

"The Drunken Wankers."

"Ah, maybe picking them wasn't such a good idea, ah here they come."

"Oi! Wankers, get yer arses on that stage now!"

The band had clearly spent their whole time in Douglas on a huge bender as they stumbled onto the stage. Normally you'd expect that to impair the musical abilities of a person, but not a Sortherner. The members of a band stumbled around a bit but quickly realised where they were and set about their performance with usual Sorthern gusto.

(OOC: Song it's based on for idea of tune (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MR_3c5rejrE))

"Up in a Sorthern bar,
One afternoon I wasted there,
When I heard a drunkard shouting,
From underneath the stall,

Hoi've got some lo-ve-ly few pints of beer.
There are a-standing on the table.
Light ones, dark ones, some as light as the night.
Give 'em a sip, a chug o' the throat,.
That's what the barman said.

Hoi've got some lo-ve-ly pints o' ale.
Hevery pint yer buy will make me rich.
There stands me landlord, the bane of me life,
Singin' "drink a-pint o' beer, a pound a pint!

Singin' drink a-beer, a pound a pint!
Singin' drink a-beer, a pound a pint!
Singin' drink a-pint o' beer, drink a-pint o' beer, singin' drink a-pint o' beer a pound a pint

*Instrumental

I've got some lo-ve-ly pints of ale (They're lovely!)
There they are a standing on the bar.
(Zero, ten, nine, three)
Weak ones, strong ones, some as strong as a giant
(And strrronger)
Give 'em a sip, a chug o' the throat, that's what the barman said.

Now that hoi've got some lo-ve-ly pints of beer.
(boom-boom-ba-boom-boom)
Hevery pint you drink will make me rich.
(Have a cider)
There stands me landlord, the bane of me life,
Singin' "drink a-pint o' beer today, a pound a pint!

All drinking now!

Singin' drink a-pint o' beer, a pound a pint!
(Lethargically!)
Singin' drink a-beer today, a pound a pint!
Singin' drink a-pint o' beer, drink a-pint o' beer, singin' drink a pint o' beer a pound a pint

*Instumental

Sigin' drink a pint o' beeeeeeeer, only a pound a piiiiiint!"

((bump))

OOC: I don't know why really, but it just feels to me like WorldVision has become a lost cause...

(OOC: It's been about a month since the thread started, which is actually not too abnormal by our standards. You could go ahead and call the vote, if you wanted, Scotchpinestan...maybe if you want to try to speed things up, TG everybody right now to remind them?

In the meantime, I wrote out a midi melody...I'll upload it when the voting starts, so it doesn't expire waiting for it! :tongue:)

((Yeah I'll send TGs probably by the end of the week...I had some RL issues which delayed my own entry, and I wasn't going to go hound people to ge their songs up when mine wasn't up.))

((EDIT: Actually, we only are waiting on a few entries ::coughSwilatiacough::))

OOC: Actually, that's not exactly it. There just always seemed to be more to WorldVision than song lyrics and voting. anyway, it might be a while to when I post my entry. Still trying to write.

((Bump, just TGed everybody))

In one of the regional, or rather rekijonal TV stations.

Ilan Tamil: So... do we have an update or was that all?

Jasvi Samuru: I think this was it, but lanja there are additional songs. We can not know who else shows up representing his or her nation, can we?

Ilan Tamil: This is the issue, we can't. I think there should be more discipline in this world, people watied for the artists to play and now they don't appear.

Jasvi Samuru: You can't demand discipline from the creative. It's like demanding that Jenji Y plays 90 minutes and extra time.

Ilan Tamil: I think the Hermits of the Ashrekhimansi would like a word with you.

Jasvi Samuru: Whom? Oh, now I get who you mean: the Archregimancy.

Ilan Tamil: Yes, just them! They have a highly difficult name, isn't it agreeable?

Jasvi Samuru: Well, yes. And I think you forgot that an important part of monastic chant is to whithstand development, I do not want to say progress, to create eternal-sounding music. That is the difference between that and gospel.

Ilan Tamil: Maybe you have a point, maybe you just want to confuse me.

Jasvi Samuru: I always do! And you know!

Ilan Tamil: I know. Anyways, what do you think of the different songs we heard so far?

Jasvi Samuru: We're at this stage of the Worldvision where the moderators try to subtly sway the votes to their favorites?

Ilan Tamil: You can be not so subtle, if you prefer.

Jasvi Samuru: Wavispa's entry was first, we remember them? Very much a show made for the effects, The text was kinda repetitive though.

Ilan Tamil: I would not have noticed that. My Czech is too bad!

Jasvi Samuru: Oh it is czech? You know more than me!

Ilan Tamil: I guess as well! What irritated me were the strangely dressed dancers.

Jasvi Samuru: When those were famous, we still lived in villages without electricity! They never really made it to the Island!

Ilan Tamil: I see. Now... where was the next entry from? Cachette de Lions?

Jasvi Samuru: Yes, 'Athena'. It is based in another polytheistic theology, which sure makes it something I can relate to! Also very emotional. Definitely a good song!

Ilan Tamil: Yeah, but I always was confused about the lyrics. "I'm hoping beyond hope", this passage confused me! Made me think of integer overflows!

Jasvi Samuru: That's a way of seeing it! Now for the next song...

Ilan Tamil: You just want me to pronounce it to make a fool out of myself. Su?

Jasvi Samuru: Well, yes. It gives us better viewer rates!

Ilan Tamil: Oh, glorious capitalism! It's from the Arctic Hermits of the Ashregimansy.

Jasvi Samuru: Better! I could not relate to them at all! Heathens, they are! Monotheists! Their song was long and they did not even provide cheat sheets for the translation!

Ilan Tamil: Well, let's not be so drastic about religion. There are da~eistic Christians in the audience.

Jasvi Samuru: Sorry, but their Holier-than-thou attitude makes me want to shout at them that they worship the wrong god!

Ilan Tamil: How does that make you better than them?

Jasvi Samuru: I only use this attitude to people, who deserve it!

Ilan Tamil: Okay, point for you! Now, Bazalonia's song made me hungry, you too?

Jasvi Samuru: Yeah, it did! Fortunately, I had chocolate in my purse.

Ilan Tamil: You do?

Jasvi Samuru: I always have a small bar of chocolate there, because life can throw all kinds of tragedy at you!

Ilan Tamil: Spoken like a philosopher. Or like sweet tooth.

Jasvi Samuru: More likely the latter. I like eating sweet food!

Ilan Tamil: Now from food to two as deadly things: love and money... and from Bazalonia to Cafundéu.

Jasvi Samuru: If you do not like money, you can give yours to me!

Ilan Tamil: Oh, I like money, but the problem is, some people like it too much. It's the same issue with food or love: it's only good in moderation!

Jasvi Samuru: You have something vaguely resembling a point here. I kinda liked the jazzy feeling of this song. It's not something you hear often in this area of the world.

Ilan Tamil: Indeed. This is why I like the World Vision. Many different styles, some great, some awful! But they're always great to talk about!

Jasvi Samuru: Oh my, put down the joint, you're getting philosophical again. But yeah, they're quite good!

Ilan Tamil: Now for Genas's song about 12 points.

Jasvi Samuru: kay-aitsh is not pronounced g in most languages, not even in modern Rejistanian.

Ilan Tamil: Sorry, bad habits die slowly!

Jasvi Samuru: Well, the self-reference was kinda funny. I appreciate their honesty!

Ilan Tamil: You can't be serious!

Jasvi Samuru: I am!

Ilan Tamil: I prefer the krytenian entry! Alan Robidoux could make Reja-pop, you know!

Jasvi Samuru: He could! It is different in verything musical, but the text is very reja-y. I guess everyone wants peace.

Ilan Tamil: If they would, the world would be a better place. However some people are not willing to stop the fighting.

Jasvi Samuru: Well, okay, they were wounded by the circumstances.

Ilan Tamil: in that case, we have far too many wounded people out there! I mean, look at the song of Mallatarsland, conveniently coming after this one. This is glorifying killing.

Jasvi Samuru: You sound like a censor!

Ilan Tamil: I am not, I even like the musical aspects of the song, but I feel uncomfortable around these songs.

Jasvi Samuru: I think, that I can understand.

Ilan Tamil: You're again purposefully creating an easy transition to the next... we can not even say song... participant. I had problems understanding him!

Jasvi Samuru: That's because your English is abysmal!

Ilan Tamil: What does 'abysmal mean?

Jasvi Samuru: thanks for proving my point. It was rather misplaced in a song competition, we can not disagree about this. However, it was an interesting topic!

Ilan Tamil: Braggard!

Jasvi Samuru: How do you mean that?

Ilan Tamil: You're flaunting your superior language skills!

Jasvi Samuru: Maybe.

Ilan Tamil: There was another entry to flaunt superior language skills: Z-vang-zuk.

Jasvi Samuru: This surely was a song to subtly advertise voting for!

Ilan Tamil: Keep up the subtlety so I can second it!

Jasvi Samuru: It was a very emotional song, very poetic. And it ended on a high note of hope.

Ilan Tamil: Yeah! But talking about a high note... what do you think of The Banjo Men?

Jasvi Samuru: Help me out! Where are they from?

Ilan Tamil: You're going to make me pronounce every difficult country name in this competition, won't you?

Jasvi Samuru: Yes.

Ilan Tamil: You're an evil, evil person!

Jasvi Samuru: Thanks, I know!

Ilan Tamil: They're from Xcot-x-pin-estan.

Jasvi Samuru: You need some practice!

Ilan Tamil: You need some compassion!

Jasvi Samuru: What is that, compassion? I have no idea what it means!

Ilan Tamil: And a dictionary, you need that too!

Jasvi Samuru: Weeell, back to the song, something happy, quite conveniently placed after such a sad song. It's quite expertly arranged in this competition. And I like Banjos.

Ilan Tamil: This reminds me of this sadistic experiment where students are given a series of numbers and are asked in which order they are, but the numbers are random.

Jasvi Samuru: How does this remind you of that?

Ilan Tamil: The human brain sees order where none exists.

Jasvi Samuru: You might have a point, but look how expertly the moood was re-balanced by the Kaze Progressa song.

Ilan Tamil: Kura Pelland.

Jasvi Samuru: 'xactly what I said!

Ilan Tamil: I think that Jackie Tarquin was dressed a bit too racy. I mean, it's not that warm here.

Jasvi Samuru: You're a prude!

Ilan Tamil: Do you have a problem with that?

Jasvi Samuru: Only if you want to regulate what I do in my private life.

Ilan Tamil: I won't - as long as you won't try to get me into your bed.

Jasvi Samuru: I'll consider that a challenge from now on.

Ilan Tamil: I'll never drink anything, you even came near!

Jasvi Samuru: Great, more coffee for me!

Ilan Tamil: I repeat what I said about you being evil! Now, the next song which was performed was from the Rejistanian nation of Vukuahui~l! Do we need to say anything about Kansu I Lan?

Jasvi Samuru: Of coursse, why let a perfectly well opportunity to complain and rant pass?

Ilan Tamil: What do you mean?

Jasvi Samuru: They confused her name and the name of the song.

Ilan Tamil: I didn't even notice. Feko okazas, pardon my Esperanto.

Jasvi Samuru: These inept children of slani can't get it right, it seems!

Ilan Tamil: It's not a major issue!

Jasvi Samuru: I disagree.

Ilan Tamil: Probably I Lan'he couldn't explain the issue. Her English might be substandard.

Jasvi Samuru: Maybe... By the way: Is it coincidence that you were chosen when your first name sounds like the last one of our transnational representative?

Ilan Tamil: I guess. I have seniority. Talking about seniors, the band from Sorthern Northland is at least old enough to drink!

Jasvi Samuru: Too bad that they are not much except that. I did not like the music.

Ilan Tamil: It confused me - until I realized that a pound can be a currency.

Jasvi Samuru: kansa'ny! Your English is abysmal!

Ilan Tamil: You're being redundant! Anyways, time for a few ads until we'll get to the voting!

Jasvi Samuru: They allow rejistanis to participate in voting?

Ilan Tamil: Why shouldn't they?

Jasvi Samuru: The last time, Rejistania as nation voted, 86% of the ballots were left blank!

Ilan Tamil: This vote works via phone. No chance of disvoting here!

Jasvi Samuru: Hopefully!

"And that is it! We've now seen all 14 performances; now comes the good part! It's time to vote!

"Each country will rank its top ten favorite acts. The tenth place act will score one point, ninth place 2, eighth place three, and so on up to third place which scores eight. Second place will score ten points, and each country's winner will score twelve points. Whichever act has the most points total is the winner.

"Here is a recap of all of the acts, in the order in which they performed:"

Wavispa - Superstar, Jasmina (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13860979)
Cachette de Lions - Athena, Rhoda Black (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13866293)
The Archregimancy - The Troparion of Kassiani, The Arctic Hermits of the Archregimancy (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13868171)
Bazalonia - (Just Put It) In My Belly, Gregory Jones (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13868208)
Cafundéu - How Much Does You Cost, Anise Neomeu (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13869968)
Khenas - Twelve Points, Radio Silajske (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13874230)
Krytenia - Under A Blue Sky, Andy Robidoux (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13874798)
Mallatarsland - Silent But Deadly, Harry Stottle (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13877008)
Wentland - Simultaneous Existence and Non-Existence, Professor Daniel Blenkinsop (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13893149)
Zwangzug - The Pendulum, The Neoreactionaries (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13899829)
Scotchpinestan - Celebrate People, The Banjo Men (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13924111)
Kura-Pelland - No Going Back, Jackie Tarquin (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13938163)
Rejistania - Salan Kihle, Kansu I Lan (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13939773)
Sorthern Northland - I've Got A Lovely Pint Of Beer, The Drunken Wankers (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13939956)


"The voting lines are now open! And remember: you can't vote for your own country."

After an interval act of the highest oddity, everything is set up for the scores to be counted.

'And first we go to Kura-Pelland!'

The representative in Trilan is Yvette Winston, a vaguely butch 19-year-old - Kura-Pellandi government has started to take a borderline-paranoid approach to eating disorders, as noted by international media in Kelssek and Ariddia, and having a skinny girl as their 'eye candy' would never do.

She announces the results competently though, which is what it's all about.

'Bazalonia, one point.' Mild applause. Seemingly was applause anyway.
'Khenas, two points.' The Dustin The Turkey of the NS universe would have wanted six times as many, there were some possibly mock boos but also cheers.
'Wentland, three points.' Some pretty ferocious booing from a few in the audience who apparently took the 'Song Contest' moniker very seriously.
'Sorthern Northland, four points.' Some cheers.
'Cafundéu, five points.' A few boos from some socialist activists in the audience could be heard amongst the cheers. Controversial this year, isn't it?
'The Archregimancy, six points.' A few embarrassed cheers turn swiftly to silence.
'Rejistania, seven points.' A few cheers, less embarrassed this time.
'Krytenia, eight points.' First earnest cheers of the night. Gotta love the generic peace songs.
'Cachette du Lions, ten points.' Cheers. Proper ones.
'And the twelve go to ZWANGZUG!' Like that wasn't inevitable.

Zwangzug 12
Cachette de Lions 10
Krytenia 8
Rejistania 7
The Archregimancy 6
Cafundéu 5
Sorthern Northland 4
Wentland 3
Khenas 2
Bazalonia 1
Wavispa 0
Mallatarsland 0
Scotchpinestan 0
Kura-Pelland 0

"...and Zwangzug gets the first dozen of points!"

"From Kura-Pelland."

"Bassabook will love that."

"But that's not another twelve from Scotchpinestan. That's just the scoreboard."

"I knew that."

"Sure you did. Now, what to make of this contest?"

"Well, the big change is the founders, Swilatia, not managing to get their performance in."

"Hmm. Now some pundits have been decrying the competition's lack of drunken llamas."

"Is that something to be decried?"

"Let me dig out the quote...Honestly, there's just no point anymore. There's no Lovisa. There are no Nazis. There is nobody, and I repeat nobody, having sex with drunken llamas on stage."

"I don't think there ever were."

"But the point stands. The Archregimancy's act was hardly original, though, there's something."

"Well, it's their tradition."

"Uh-huh. Now, some other pundits have noted a nontransitivity paradox among some of the songs."

"Oh, obviously. I mean, Robidoux was better than Neomeu, certainly? He actually had a point."

"But Wavispa's song was better than Krytenia's-it's one of those native language things, Krytenia just had some peace and love shtick too politically-tinged to work here."

"Yet Neomeu seemed better than Jasmina."

"Well, it did make sense."

"So how will it all work out in the voting?"

"Well, there were some voting errors-apparently some of our fans were so awed and moved that they overcame their nationalism-"

"As well they should!"

"a bit too far, trying to judge each act on its merits...and wound up voting for The Neoreactionaries."

"Oh. That's not good."

"No. It's not. And it'll probably hurt Krytenia most."

"But who's come out on top?"

"Kura-Pelland and Rejistania, surely. Only the order's up for grabs."

"I don't know...but let's get to the results."

"If you insist. With the first point...Khenas!"

"Now if you just sneak a two in there, right behind the one-"

"Receiving two points...Like I said. Krytenia!"

"With three, Anise Neomeu."

"Four points go to Wavispa."

"And five to what? Harry Stottle? That was a horrible song, why does he have more than twice as many as Robidoux?"

"I told you, the only people who would vote for Robidoux are too dumb to figure out how the voting works."

"I would vote for him!"

"Case in point."

"Six points now for...Rhoda Black."

"And seven to Scotchpinestan."

"Great show, second deck and all."

"Wait, they did that thing where they take it up a step for the last verse and they only got seven points? From Zwangzug?"

"Evidently."

"That's ridiculous! We're running out of good songs! It should at least have cracked the top three."

"So you admit that celebrating the diversity of humankind is a good thing?"

"No, I admit that the voters are weirder than we gave them credit for. Come to think of it, maybe Scotchpinestan got sapped due to saps...the Krytenia bug."

"Whatever."

"Anyhow, eight for...what? Who?"

"You tell me."

"Kura-Pelland!"

"It was a nice song-"

"Yes, but who are one and two?"

"Well, in second place came Kansu I Lan."

"So who's left? Archregimandrite "tradition"? Bazalonian ode to food? Sorthern Northlandish ode to beer?"

"Well, I don't think they'd get twelve points-zero, ten, nine, or three maybe, as the song goes."

"Zero at this rate."

"First place goes to...Professor Blenkinsop!"

"...Like I said. Far weirder than we gave them credit for."

"I give them plenty of credit for being weird."

"You would."

Wentland 12
Rejistania 10
Kura-Pelland 8
Scotchpinestan 7
Cachette de Lions 6
Mallatarsland 5
Wavispa 4
Cafundéu 3
Krytenia 2
Khenas 1

Reporter Chip Samuels, sitting in the fifth row, kept waiting for the text message with the Scotchpine vote reults to come.

He waited.

And waited.

The text was supposed to come 20 minutes ago. He tried calling the command center...no answer. What was going on?

If, for some reason, the system for colecting the phone and text votes failed, the jury decision would be used. He had that in his breast pocket. But he knew full well that if the Scotchpine jury vote was used, then everyone in the crowd who texted their votes in would know that their votes wouldn't be counted.

That would be a distaster.

So he continued to wait.

Due to a minor car crash, Breno Gavião didn't arrive at time to announce the points given by Cafundéu. But his friend, César Arnaldo Lebre, appeared in time to do it:

1 point to Kura-Pelland
2 points to Khenas
3 points to Krytenia
4 points to Rejistania
5 points to Sorthern Northland
6 points to Mallatarsland
7 points to Cachette de Lions...

...now to the top three...

...we are proud to award 8 points to Zwangzug!

... not with the same success of the Funk Freak, but still in a very good position, the 10 points go to Scotchpinestan!

...and the first place, a much deserved one, will go to Bazalonia! 12 points to a song that'll make a lot of success in our supermarkets!

Cachette de Lions 23
Rejistania 21
Zwangzug 20
Scotchpinestan 17
Wentland 15
Krytenia 13
Bazalonia 13
Mallatarsland 11
Sorthern Northland 9
Kura-Pelland 9
Cafundéu 8
The Archregimancy 6
Khenas 5
Wavispa 4

The Monastic songcontest jury hereby announces the results of the Archregimancy vote.

The Archregimancy finds itself unable to vote for most participating nation given the immoral, unorthodox and indeed un-Orthodox content of most of the other participants' songs.

The Archregimancy will award Kura-Pelland douze points in the vague hope that the line 'Someone shone their light upon me / Bathing in the glow, now I can see' is a reference to the divine light of the transfiguration, as observed through the practice of hesychastic prayer. Curiously enough, Kura-Pelland are the only nation to have awarded the Archregimancy any points at all, but we assure you that this is pure coincidence.

As no other nation received a single vote from the jury, we are unable to award any other nation any points at all.

We realise that this is an unusual result, but we can hardly award scores to songs that didn't receive a single vote.

And next were the Wavispa votes given by half the country's commentary team, Jessica Phillips! They were supposed to be given by all of the commentary team, but Jake has to be taken off after Jessica tossed so many office supplies at him.

----

So, yeah, I don't know how the -beep- I got talked into doing this, these songs are so -beep-ing terrible, this sounds like the kind of thing Jake would want to do.

But anyway, here are the stupid votes for this stupid competition!
(booing from crowd)
Hey, you, shut the -beep- up!

Anyway, Zero points go to the archregimancy, I don't know why any-one would want to vote for this sort of -beep-ing stupid priest music. And also to the guy who keeps beeping me, you -beep-ing -beep- me off. And Mallatarsland and Scotchpinestan and Wavispa.

One point goes to that stupid jazz trash from Cafundeu. Congradulations on narrowly waking the countries-that-make-points list, if it were up to me I would not let you in.

Two points goes to Bazalonia... You singing about food, what the -beep-?

Three to Sorthern Northland, er, same stuff, I don't have the patience for this.

Four points to Kura-Pelland. You might not be screaming this time, but your lyrics were as terrible as ever.

Five to Wentland. Now I don't know why I'm giving points, because not being able to speak decent english is not an excuse to bore us with some stupid -beep-ing lecture. Just look at Rejistania. They don't know english, so they instead sing in their weird pretend-languages.

Six points goes to Krytenia. I can't begin to talk about what's wrong with some of these songs. When does this madness finally end!?!

Seven points to Cachette de Lions. This only gets weirder.

Eight points to Zwangzug. Is this some sort of weird conventional nightmare?

Ten to Rejistania. Yes, they somehow got ten, Waka Laka Laka to you to. I already told what's wrong with this song, learn to -beep-ing listen!

And finally, they want me to give 12 points to... Khenas? Why? They even admitted they deserve nothing! Do these people actually want such a bad-writing country to win? Some-one -beep-ing kill me!

And that's the end of that story. Now turn the camera off before I throw this bust of Neyuzki Sinila at it!

Rejistania 31
Cachette de Lions 30
Zwangzug 28
Kura-Pelland 25
Wentland 20
Krytenia 19
Scotchpinestan 17
Khenas 17
Bazalonia 15
Sorthern Northland 12
Mallatarsland 11
Cafundéu 9
The Archregimancy 6
Wavispa 4

For some reason, CLTV decided it would be a good idea to let some really annoying young female announce the vote. She arrived dressed in flourescent yellow, and immediately started screaming into the microphone.
"HEY DOUGLAS!!! YOU GUYS WERE AWESOME TONIGHT!!!"
The crowd cheers this, but outside of the shot, the producers hold their heads in their hands.
"Now, I guess you want our votes, huh?"
The crowd answered affirmatively, but, of course, it couldn't be that simple.
"Wait, what did you say? Do you want our votes?"
The crowd cheered again. She wasn't giving up.
"I can't hear you! One more time!"
The crowd cheered, this time markedly less enthusiastically.
"Oh, come on, you can do better! Do you want these votes or not?"
The crowd seemed to be jeering, but then suddenly erupted into applause. Not because they were playing along with the young girl, but because the producer had barged onto the screen and had taken the liberty of announcing the votes himself.
"Hello. These are the results of the Cachettian vote.
The Archregimancy, one point.
Wavispa, two points.
Khenas, three points.
Kura-Pelland, four points.
Wentland, five points.
Cafundéu, six points.
Rejistania, seven points."
The crowd cheered louder with each successive point, but as it got to the big 3 the girl got back onto the screen and snatched the microphone.
"Yay! Now, 8 points go to... can you guess?"
The crowd shouted various answers, before the girl screamed "Zwangzug" into the mic. The producer then grabbed the mic again, before calmly saying "Krytenia, ten points." The girl attempted to grab the mic, and the girl and the producer then fought over it for a period of time. Then, they looked at the results of the vote, then each other, and then faced the screen. Simultaneously, both screamed:
"SCOTCHPINESTAN, TWELVE POINTS!!!"
Needless to say, the crowd cheered that the loudest.

"Jasni! Do we have the results from the rejistani televoting already?"

"Jiee... tahoj!"

"What happened? How did you screw up again?"

"In no way. It was someone from the visual effects studio who screwed up!"

"In what way?"

"They did overlay the wrong telephone number, more exactly: the wrong country code was displayed. Instead of 00512 0247, it said 00512 0274."

"What exactly do you mean?"

"I mean that a number of families in Navikana kali will be very pissed off! And the number of actual votes we received is extremely low."

"It's The Curse again?"

"The Curse? You mean the utter failure of rejistanis to have nation-wide elections of anything?"

"Yes, exactly!"

"Well, what can we do now?"

"I think it is quite easy, isn't it?"

"No?"

"We both need to attempt to make the 'results' as plausible as possible!"

------

Of course the rejistani announcer was in Sike Kali and out of a sense of pan-rejistanism and patriotism, the Spire, the former government building was shown in the background. For those, who are informed about rejistani independent movies, the announcer is immediately evident to be Sydi Hua, the others could read it from the screen in rejistani and Latin alphabet.

"Hejida Ladies and Gentlemen! We have enjoyed a beautiful evening so far and were able to enjoy kivyjit a number of beautiful songs. Na~o it comes to the part, which I fear the most: the voting! You know, I would give everyone, well, nearly everyone a 12. But since this is not possible, let here be the results of the rejistanian televote!"

Her image is scaled down and the scores of the different countries so far are seen next to it.

"Sorthern Northland get assigned 1 point!" the turquoise number 1 moves next to the 12 next to the name Sorthern Northland. Then the 1 is dded to the previous amount of points and the sum changes the color to an orange 13.

"Mallatarsland, the rejistanian voters assigned you 2 points!" a turquoise 2 appeared next to the 11, then gets added.

"3 points go to Bazalonia!" The Bazalonia entry slides up 2 places as the number gets added.

"Scotchpinestan, enjoy these 4 points!"

"To Wentland, the rejistanian audience did assign 5 points!"

"Cachette de Lions, se vesin'ny, six points!"

"Cafundeu, seven points!"

"For Krytenia, 8 points!"

"Zwangzug is awarded 10 points!"

"I was threatened by violence from the back stage crew if I'd say that Khenas got 12 points, thus: Khenas: mjekexi ehja'het!!"

Finally Samuels's phone rang. He quickly ducked into the tunnel to answer it.

"Scotty, what's up? We were suppoed to announce our results half an hour ago!"

"Uh, Chip, we had a little problem with the results..."

"Oh, no..."

"There was a tie for tenth place."

"That's it? THAT'S what the whole holdup was about?"

"Yeah, because you know we can't give half points. We're supposed to let the jury break the tie, but we can't get in touch with them. I don't know if they ever convened."

"Yeah, they did. I've got their results right here in my jacket pocket."

(long pause)

"Scotty..."

"I'll send the text right now...and I'll have my desk cleaned out by Monday morning."


With that straightened out, Samuels went back up to the crowd to announce the Scotchpine results.

"Man, what a show tonight!"

Several young women rushed in front of Samuels to try to get on camera.

"There is no place I would rather be then right here, in the Douglas Civic Center, presenting the results of the Scotchpine televote!"

One girl flashed the camera. Samuels pretended he didn't notice.

"The Archregimancy, one point!"
"Wavispa, two points!"
"Bazalonia, three points!"

Just as he said that, another girl flashed the camera. Samuels did all he could to keep a straight face.

"Mallatarsland, four points!"

Now a pair of twins shot up, flashed the camera, and disappeared as quickly as they hads appeared.

"Sorthern Northland, five points!"

Another flasher appeared. This one was hard to miss; she probably weighed about 250 pounds. By this time, Samuels just wanted to get the announcement done with.

"Cafundéu, six points!"

Two more girls flashed the camera.

"Cachette de Lions, seven points!"

A trio of flashers came...and went.

"Zwangzug, eight points!"

Now girls were popping up everywhere and flashing the camera.

"Krytenia, ten points!"

By now, the screen was almost filled with girls flashing the camera. So Samuels did the only thing he could do to regain attention.

"And our twelve points go to..."

He ripped open his shirt to reveal REJISTANIA written across his chest.

Zwangzug 54
Rejistania 50
Krytenia 47
Cachette de Lions 43
Scotchpinestan 33
Khenas 32
Wentland 30
Kura-Pelland 29
Cafundéu 28
Bazalonia 21
Sorthern Northland 18
Mallatarsland 17
The Archregimancy 8
Wavispa 8

((bump))

"Vote? What do you mean, "vote"?"

"You know, give points from Wentland."

"And you want me to do it? Ekthellent. Of courth, it'th difficult to dithtinguish between the thongth, given that they didn't weally egthitht. Thtill, I can award an arbitwawy amount that might pleathe the matheth that think they are weal."

"Well, whatever, can you go from one upwards?"

"Wight then.

"One point to Regithtania. Didn't underthtand a word.

"Two pointh to the Archregimanthy. Nithe monkth. But of thuthpect belief.

"Thwee pointh to Mallatarthland. Thinithter.

"Four pointh to Cafundeu. A bit milfy, don't you think?

"Five pointh to Kwytenia. Don't get the Hethentaler bit.

"Thikth pointh to Kuwa-Pelland. Minithkirt. Mmm.

"Theven pointh to Bathalonia. Mmm, lovely food.

"Eight pointh to Thorthern Northland. Bottomth up!

"Nine..."

"Sorry, it needs to be ten."

"Ten pointh to Cachette de Lionth. She wath very thweet.

"Twelve pointh to Thwangthug. Very thought-provoking.

"Will that do?"

"Good evening Douglas, this is Emberton calling! We've had a great night watching this year's contest, a real mix of international culture. So without further ado, here are the results of the Krytenian televote!"

"Khenas, one point.
Scotchpinestan, two points. Sorry.
Wavispa, three points
Rejistania, four points.
Bazalonia, five points.
Zwangzug, six points.
Mallatarsland, seven points.
Kura-Pelland, eight points.
Cachette de Lions, ten points.
And our twelve pints...er, points... to SORTHERN NORTHLAND!"

Zwangzug 72
Cachette de Lions 63
Rejistania 55
Krytenia 52
Kura-Pelland 43
Sorthern Northland 38
Scotchpinestan 35
Khenas 33
Bazalonia 33
Cafundéu 32
Wentland 30
Mallatarsland 27
Wavispa 11
The Archregimancy 10

((Waiting on votes from Bazalonia, Khenas, Mallatarsland, and Sorthern Northland. TGs sent.))

The signal was very dodgy indeed, somehow the sattelite that linked Bazalonia to the WorldVision contest was full of static and could hardly be heard.

In the end The Bazalonians had to fax in their results...



1pt: Mallatarsland
2pt: Wentland
3pt: Cachette de Lions
4pt: Scotchpinestan
5pt: Krytenia
6pt: Cafundéu
7pt: Rejistania
8pt: Kura-Pelland
10pt: Zwangzug
12pt: Sorthern Northland

((OOC: I'm going away for a few days, won't be able to update the scoress until Saturday or Sunday - hopefully all the votes will be in by then.))

2pt: Sorthern Northland
...
12pt: Sorthern Northland


Sorthern Northland...quatorze points?!? ;)

Sorthern Northland...quatorze points?!? ;)

ugh - fixed

...and here is the results of the Khenas vote:

1 points goes to Mallatarsland
(a yellow one on a blue-and-red circle appears next to Mallatarsland)

2 points goes to... Valeneska?
(nothing happens, the Valeneska entry was not performed)

That's not an entry, sorry

Oh, yes, and who are we supposed to give 11 and 9 to? It appears our voting infrastructure is still not working. Bye!

No, don't leave, you're on of the few people who can fix this now...

(typical elevator music plays for 30 seconds as the call is placed on hold)

Alright, alright, I'm back, and I have our vote on this peace of paper. Still no 9 points, but I guess that's how it works...

Okay, could we have the votes please?

Oh, yes... one points goes to Scotchpinestan

Alright...

You know, it's kind of our first year using a televote and a-

Okay, could you get on with the votes please?

Oh, yes, one points... have I done one points?

Yes...

Oh, cool. Let's see... two points goes to... Wentland! Yes, Wentland.

Then?

I don't know? We already done?

Read a bit further down the list. You're supposed to go all the way up to 12.

Oh, yes, three points goes to Kura-Pelland!

Go on...

Well, the next column says "7, Wavispa 7 200 190 votes, 4" so how am I supposed to read this?

How have you been reading them so far?

Oh, right, Four to Wavispa. Four points to Wavispa!

Four to Wavispa. Don't you think this is taking a bit too long?

Well, I could always just fax the card in, but no-one taught me how to do that.

Nevermind. Can we have the 5 points?

Five points goes to... Cachette de Lions!

Okay, what about six, seven, eight, ten, and twelve

Alright. But you don't want 9 and 11?

Is there a 9 or 11?

Well, i'm not sure, but on the paper, we only have 12, 10 and-

Just give us points six through eight first

Okay, Six to Bazalonia. Seven to Southern Northland. And you're right. There is no slot for nine points. Or eleven points.

Alright, can we just have the rest of the votes please? We're starting to get tired, and we could have already know this year's winner by now.

Eight points goes to... Krytenia!

Ten points goes to.... Zwangzug!

And finally...

Could we just finish the voting already?

Twelve points goes to... Rejistania!

Alright! Finally!

Yeah, and that conludes the voting from Khenas. How did you like my show?

Sorry, we have to move on now.

Okay...
----

00 - Mallatarsland
00 - Archregimancy
00 - Cafundeu
01 - Scotchpinestan
02 - Wentland
03 - Kura-Pelland
04 - Wavispa
05 - Cachette de Lions
06 - Bazalonia
07 - Sorthern Northland
08 - Krytenia
10 - Zwangzug
12 - Rejistania

“Dude, like this shit is so amazing dude.”

“Dude, yeah it's like so, it's just, yeah...”

“Dude, you remembers Bob's last week? We were so fucking smashed.”

“Like yeah, we were so high.”

“Woah yeah, it was just like John's the week before.”

“Yeah, like totally. Wait... why are we even here?”

“Ummm? Are we supposed to be watering the plants or something?”

“Nah, there's no plants, maybe it's the Worldvision voting?”

“Oh yeah, put a bimbo on as always?”

“Yeah, let's go for a non-blonde blonde this year though. Standing in front of some famous monument in Beningrad.”

“Yeah, everyone will be like so “WOAH!”

----

“Helloooooo Douglas, what fantastic hosts you've been, this is Beningrad with the Sorthern vote in the Worldvision song contest. Where the hell is Sorthern anyway? It's like in Bostonia right?

One point goes to The Archregimancy, and I guess they'd have got more if they hadn't bored half of the country into switching channels.

Two points go to Mallatarsland.

Three points, Wentland!

Four points for Scotchpinestan.

Five points and 984 SN Rubles in taxes to Cafundéu .

Six points goes to Krytenia

The seven points go to Kura-Pelland

Eight points go to Rejistania.

Ten points....... Bazalonia!

And last but not least, the twelve points from the Sorthern vote goes to............... ZWANGZUG!”

Zwangzug 104
Rejistania 82
Cachette de Lions 71
Krytenia 71
Kura-Pelland 61
Sorthern Northland 57
Bazalonia 49
Scotchpinestan 44
Cafundéu 43
Wentland 37
Khenas 33
Mallatarsland 30
Wavispa 15
The Archregimancy 11


((Waiting only on Mallatarsland's vote))

((Mallatarsland didn't respond to my TG, so this is over.))

"Congratulations ZWANGZUG! Winners of the 6th Worldvision Song Contest!"

"Did...we..."

"They."

"...just win?"

"Well, they did have it clinched."

"Ah, lovely little anticlimax then."

"So for those of you just joining us, The Neoreactionaries have just won WorldVision Song Contest 6, the first ever act to get a hundred points."

"Not quite sure what that says."

"That voters actually want to...um..."

"Live under the same sky? Celebrate all people, everywhere? Oppose shame?"

"Yes. Precisely."

"Idealistic idiots."

"You support shame then?"

"Of course not. I'll give The Neoreactionaries credit for one thing."

"Oh? What is it?"

"If the Lovisans ever complain about how they really deserved to win, we'll be able to tell them right where to-"

"Sorry, I think we're out of time. Thanks to Scotchpinestan for a great competition, and we'll see you all in the seventh edition!"