NationStates Jolt Archive

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Find/make the exciting build-up to the fortieth World Cup here!

Useful Links:
World Cup 40 Sign-up Thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=549190)
World Cup 40 Squad/Roster Thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=552313)
World Cup 40 Referee Thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=551016)
Baptism of Fire Thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=551165)
World Cup Discussion Thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=536285)

1st post :D

We, the nethertopian NFA would like to present our new stadium, the Falcon Stadium. It has a 90.000 seating capacity and photo's will pe posted here soon.

BOVACAF OPENS COMPETITION FOR FOREIGN INVESTORS

http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/4032/saopaulostockexchangewc5.jpg

The Bovacaf (Bolsa de Valores de Cafundéu), Cafundéu's main stock market, located in the heart of Cafundó do Juta, the country's capital, is one of the biggest of the world, negotiating shares of big companies like Globo Multimedia and Banco Econômico. Very popular among the Cafundelenses, it usually promotes competition between its investors too see who can earn most money in a determined time by only negotiating shares in the Bovacaf. The prize for these local competitions ranges from V$2,000,000 (two million vintéms) to V$20,000,000 (twenty million vintéms). This is less than what pays the major Cafundelense lottery, the Mega Quina (approx. V$50,000,000 per week), but it's a huge amount of money.

This time, Bovacaf wants to make a bigger competition. It wants to involve investors from all around the world, in a dispute to see who can earn more money from buying and selling shares from companies in Bovacaf. The prize will be V$100,000,000 for the first placed, V$50,000,000 for the second placed and V$20,000,000 for the third placed. Of course, this doesn't mean that Bovacaf is "giving money" to these investors. In fact, it even wants to profit with this competition, as it'll result in much more negotiations being made in Bovacaf, and there is a huge interest of the companies in this. These companies will pay for Bovacaf to promote this competition.

This competition will happen during the World Cup Qualifiers and the World Cup itself.

Interested investors please contact one of our directors, sending a message to their e-mail (OOC: a TG to Cafundéu). The list of directors is the following:

- Augusto Soares Moreno, Main Director of Bovacaf
- Aline dos Santos Carvalho, Marketing Director of Bovacaf
- Januário Bliss, Financial Director of Bovacaf
- Túlio Muniz, Director of Bovacaf's Stock Brokers
- Beatriz Virgínia Braga, Human Resources Director of Bovacaf

When sending an e-mail to one of the directors, write your name, your nationality and the Stock Broker that you're going to use. There are 8 Stock Brokers available for use:

- Banco Econômico, biggest bank of Cafundéu
- FastBroker, company that is good in negotiations using the internet
- Real Valores, traditional Stock Broker, the first of Cafundéu
- Corretoras Éden, minor Stock Broker, has some influential investors
- Bacharel Bank, bank that only creates millionaire accounts
- Chute na Bolsa, popular one, good for families
- Cafundéu Ações, another traditional one, a bit outdated
- AIBOC, a big one, but has few influential investors

(OOC: the Stock Brokers won't have any influence in the game, but you have to choose one)

And the companies?

As the Bovacaf is the stock market from Cafundéu, there are currently only companies from Cafundéu and neighbour countries (10 companies from Cafundéu will be used in the game). But, as this is an international competition, foreign companies will be needed.

So, if you want to have a company for your nation in the Bovacaf competition, please send a message to one of our directors. Each nation can send up to 3 companies. If they have a puppet, you can add a fourth from this puppet.

The companies will be divided in: big ones, medium ones and small ones. The only difference is that big ones have more expensive shares, so the profit/loss made by negotiating them is bigger, so it's a more risky negotiation. A country can have 1 big, 1 medium and 1 small company (puppets' companies can be medium or small). These are the possible combinations of companies' sizes:

Without puppet:

1 big, 1 medium, 1 small
1 big, 2 small
3 medium
2 medium, 1 small
1 medium, 2 small
3 small

With puppet:

1 big, 2 medium, 1 small
1 big, 1 medium, 2 small
1 big, 3 small
3 medium, 1 small
2 medium, 2 small
1 medium, 3 small

How will this work?

The price of the shares will change depending on two factors: luck and RP rumors. Yes, RPs from other countries can create rumors that can change the price of a stock. You can't predict the effect of the rumour in the price of the stock.

Each matchday, the price of the companies' shares will be updated. Between one update and another, investors can put a post in the WC RP thread or send a TG to Cafundéu saying which shares he/she'll buy or sell. To avoid controversies, there won't be any investors from Cafundéu.

So, please contact our directors if you want to participate, or if you want to see your company included.

More details soon.

"Oh dear... almost World Cup time. I wonder if it would be possible to get in some friendlies before the competition starts, just to break the team in. And if they have them at halfway again, we can keep them fresh during the lull."

"Right. Friendlies. For the team that hasn't been picked yet and whose coach is still in Sel Appa."

"Details, details. Anyway, we did want to schedule that one with Casari, right? And maybe a return leg, too?"

"Ugh, is this really a good time for that? They had quite the run in the last tournament and will probably carry that momentum into this cup... I doubt we'd stand much of a chance, even at home."

"But we already have the trophy, damnit!" *holds up The Golden Cake Pan* "So it's only natural that we should kick off a challenge series or something. Home and away friendlies. Winner takes the pan. If there's a tie, away team gets it. If the tie is on neutral ground, the team with it keeps it. Simple as that."

"Well, we'll see what their FA says. How about Southern Northland? They invited us last time around; that was our first ever friendly, too. And after that Turtle Cup fiasco, I bet the fans would like to see them go at it again."

"All right, I guess we'll ask them about that. What else... oh, right. There's the crazy guy from Helmut who wants a RoboCup match with Prux. He's been sending reminders every month for the last year and a half, except this time it was accompanied by a lovely gift basket."

"Chickens and ducks, though? Who's going to pay to watch that?!"

Checklist for WC40 Qualification:

(X) Holy Water
(X) Stakes
(X) Garlic
(X) Bible
(X) Silver Crucifix
(X) Lock of Mary Magdalene
(X) Holy Grail
(_) Condoms
(X) Lucky Crickets
(X) Fabulous Sidekick
(X) Not-so-fabulous Sidekick
(X) Brilliant Uppercut
(X) Not-so-brilliant Uppercut
(X) Roundhouse Kick
(X) Squarehomeless Kick
(X) Tight jeans
(X) Hopping Keys
(X) Jumping Jacks
(_) Corkscrew
(X) Crazed Convict whacking a stick on the ground
(X) Vilita
(X) Anti-Bribe Officials
(X) Bribe Officials
(X) Chocolate
(X) Whipped cream
(X) Creamed whip
(X) Jumping Janes
(X) Ninja Stars
(X) Star Ninjas
(X) Unholy Water
(_) A monk from the Archregimancy
(X) A monk from Casari
(_) A Sorthern Northland Bostopian relic
(_) A Valanora Demot relic
(X) A dictionary that pops out a random word every day
(X) A comma
(X) A bag of periods
(X) A grammar Nazi
(X) A grammar Socialist
(X) The national team of Greenland
(X) A piano
(X) A pianist with a hook for a hand
(X) A camera
(X) A voice recorder
(X) A map
(X) A cute lady
(_) An ugly lady
(X) A cute guy
(X) An ugly guy
(X) Someone pretty whose sex is undetermined
(X) Someone ugly whose sex is undetermined
(X) Someone whose sex is somehow neither male, neither female, and neither undetermined
(_) A survey
(X) Lady Di
(X) A lot of money

<QAZOX.. 3 years after World Cup 39>

"Dear Citizens of Qazox, I, Daniel Renoir, the man formerly known as "Shepard" welcome you to the new Qazox nation. We have done away with the gilded technology of the heathens and embraced a natural way of life. Be forewarned, that there are still those who doubt in the holy power of Joe. But verily I say to you and to those that oppose us, Joe is not a Oxen to be trifled with. If you tug his ear, does he not gore you? If you pull his tail does he not kick you in the head? Soon our football team will travel across the world, spreading the Word of Joe. Celebrate with us now as we prepare to begin the cleansing of the world from vice and sin. And to those that may oppose Joe's teachings, May the Holy Oxen gore you in the groin until you're dead. All praise be to Joe!"

"Sir, the people are buying this.. this... propaganda and I think that we might have to go to war over it."

"Agent Victor, the last thing Qazox needs is a war, but there isn't any of our operatives that can get within 3 miles of Renoir. He's more Guarded than either the Cafundeu Stock exchange computers or Capitalizt SLANI's gold vaults or even Az-cz' robber's guild entrance. I think it would be easier to sneak into the Dreamed Realm than to get to Renoir."

"Sir, there still is one operative that is on the books, and I don't think that Renoir knows him, but the agent, Sir, he's over 100 years old."

"Well find him Victor! Even Renoir wouldn't suspect an old man, I think."

President Johnson: Welcome to everyone from Hopeless SC who’s here today, as well as those here from various media outlets from around the world. We hope that you’re enjoying your visit to our great, but hopeless, nation. As you may have heard, this press conference has been called because we have some news regarding the vacant National Soccer Team Head Coaching position. To make the announcement, I gladly welcome the National Soccer Academy Administrator, Brian Peterson, to the podium.

*round of applause as Peterson takes the podium*

Peterson: Thank you for that warm welcome, and to President Johnson, who’s been so supportive throughout this process. I’m here today to announce that we have filled the Head Coach vacancy, and a turn over of the entire national team staff with the exception of myself.

The new Trainer and Goalkeeping Coaches are both from here in our great, but hopeless, nation. I’m proud to introduce Trainer Anne Gold and Goalkeeping Coach Neil Holmes.

*round of applause as Gold and Holmes step on to the platform to stand next to Peterson*

And the Wanderers new Head Coach and his assistant both come from our friends in Candelaria and Marquez. I’m pleased to introduce the Hopeless SC National Soccer Team’s new Head Coach, Trevor Organ, and his Assistant Coach, David Stone.

*loud round of applause as Organ and Stone join the group on the platform*

Organ: Thank you, Brian for those kind words of welcome. And thank you to the people of Hopeless SC, for making me feel welcome here as I try to bring your national team up to become one of the world’s elite.

Don’t be fooled, it make take some time before we’re able to beat teams such as Ariddia and Az-Cz on a regular basis, but with hard work and dedication, we’ll one day be able to do just that.

Your last Head Coach, Thomas Larson, had an interesting style of trying to out-defend the other team, despite his vaunted past as a scorer on the international level. He should have known that defense is not what wins championships in this reality. Maybe it does in some other reality, I don’t know.

My style is more attacking than what you’re used to seeing from your boys, but hopefully will be more exciting than five 0-0 draws in 14 matches in World Cup 39 qualifying. It may take a little getting used to, but before long we’ll be serious contenders to qualify for the Cup and to make some noise once we get there.

*round of applause breaks out*

For this Cup, my goals are simple. To win multiple matches at home. To upset a team we’re not supposed to beat on paper. To take care of business on our home field. And to make a run at qualifying where we’re in contention going into the last couple of qualifying matches, if we don’t qualify.

Thank you. Go Wanderers!

*wild round of applause breaks out as Organ steps away from the podium*

Johnson: We look forward to that day, Trevor, when you’ll lead us to World Cup glory. May that day come sooner than we could ever hope.

The Nethertopian Football Association has now released pics of our new stadium:

The outside:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/1e/Seoul_World_Cup_Stadium.jpg/800px-Seoul_World_Cup_Stadium.jpg

And the inside:
http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/1173/nethertopianarenail3.png

And we're also releasing photo's and replica's of the slightly edited kits we'll be using during the world cup qualifiers:
http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/4968/nethertopiakittl5.png

Spring - that time of year when large parts of the Blessed Realm of Bettia shake off the slumber of winter (or in other words, the two weeks or so when the temperature drops below 15 celsius), and this is no less true in Pifton, that suburb of the capital Gabalfa upon which so much focus seems to fall. Banks of daffodils, poppies, tulips and other early flowers are ended their slow emergance and are now covering large tracts of roadside and roundabout in furious bursts of colour. Even the world-famous comedy tumbleweed, now fully rested after a period of no football, has a lovely tinge of green to it, and is totally ready to once again bounce merrily down the empty streets once a certain competition gets underway.

Down on Pifton High Street in the ever popular Pie & Pixie, things are nice and relaxed - the calm before the storm when the café gets well and truly packed out with supporters looking to enjoy the Aroroas exploits. The usual clientele are parked at their usual chairs, enjoying a spot of tea and scones in this peaceful atmosphere. Junilun, one of the Ifrit sisters who own this fine establishment, is busying herself dusting a few cobwebs from a corner of the ceiling whilst hovering a few feet off the air, a very handy ability when there's housework to be done. Her good friend Akhsaru, a younger Ifrit girl with a penchant for accidently setting things on fire with a mere touch, is fine-tuning her cooking techniques in her own unique style. And Junilun's little sister is...

"Say, where is Fatarani, anyway?" Akhsaru called out from the kitchen.

Junilun pondered this question for a moment. "Hmmmm. Actually she's nowhere to be seen. In fact I haven't seen her for a good few hours now."

"Well that would explain why it's so peaceful!" Fat Evan quipped as he poked his head up from a comicbook which he had conveniently stashed inside a newspaper. After all, as a pillar of the community, he just had to keep up appearances. He little joke was met with a few giggles and sniggers, which quickly died down to be replaced with a far-off cry from outside.

"Sis! Siiiiiiss!" the voice rang out over and over again, gradually getting louder and louder until eventually Fatarani burst in, passing straight through the main front window in ever such a hurry before going on to rush through a nonplussed Fat Evan, all the time clutching a newspaper.

"Sis! Sis! You're never gonna believe this! Take a look!" Fatarani babbled excitedly as she thrust the newspaper under her sister's nose. Junilun calmly took it and peered at the back page.

"Northern Bettia Warned Not To Cheat Ever Again? Yeah right, like that lot would ever change!"

"Huh?" said Fatarani, wrinkling her forehead in confusion. "No, not that story, you twat. THAT story! Hot off the presses!"

"Unknown Ifrit Called Up To Aroras Squad" Junilun read out aloud. "Bettia's managers the Busilanta brothers this morning astounded the footballing community by announcing that the first ever Ifrit to represent the nation at any sport has been called up to the national football squad, an achievement made even more remarkable by the fact that the player has no professional experience whatsoever. Ziiaq, aged 711 years..."

At this point, Junilun's voice trailed off and Akhsaru, who had been reading the paper over her shoulder, gasped out loud. "Ziiaq? You're kidding?"

"Who's Ziiaq?" Fat Evan asked.

"Yeah, I've never heard of him," his friend Murphy added.

"Oh, he's an Ifrit, just like us. He's HUUUGE!" Fatarani said animatedly. "On this world he's like, 200 feet tall, with biceps the size of tree trunks!"

"She's exaggerating," Junilun chuckled nervously, ruffling her sister's powder blue hair. "He's nearer fifteen feet tall, with wavy dark hair, well-defined muscles, the most intense red eyes you've ever seen..."

"And Juni's had a crush on him for over three centuries!" Fatarani suddenly interrupted.

"What!? I have not!" Junilun spluttered.

"No, it's true, really!" Akhsaru grinned cheekily. Junilun said nothing - even though she was wearing a veil over her face, it was obvious she was blushing.

"Juni has a boyfriend! Juni has a boyfriend!" Fatarani teased.

"Oh I do not. What would you know anyway? You're just a child!" Junilun snapped back.

"I'm not a child! I'm 267 years old!" she pouted.

"Now now girls, let's not fight over this," Fat Evan said whilst sipping from his tea.

"Yeah, let's not fight. After all, it's not my fault Juni's in luuuurve!" Fatarani said cheekily.

"I'm not in love in him!" Junilun shouted.

"You are too!"

"I am NOT!" she yelled, suddenly firing off a blast of energy from out of nowhere which ripped a path right in between the two men before smashing the Pie & Pixie's front window to smithereens.

"My tea!" Fat Evan spluttered, quite surprised at the normally stoic Ifrit's unexpected burst of anger.

"My scone!" Murphy gasped as he stared at the smouldering ruins of his former cake.

"My favourite window!" Fatarani yelled.

"I'm sorry.. I'm, I'm... hey, whaddya mean, your favourite window!?" Junilun asked after a few awkward seconds of silence.

"Hey, I can have a favourite window if I want! And you better get it fixed before the World Cup starts too!"

The Albrecht Herald Online>Sport

[Albrecht, Thursday] Albrecht FC fans have been left reeling following arguably the strangest twenty-four hours in the club’s modern history. Following an off-season in which the internal struggles at AFC MN Smith dominated the sporting press; the Scorpions suddenly find themselves the focus of the nation’s attention with mere days to go until the country’s best-supported club kick off their CMSC XXVIII campaign at home to newly-promoted Castillo FC.

It had all started so well. At five o’clock yesterday evening the representatives of the Candelarias’ main news outlets assembled in the press room at the Millerman Sheppard Stadium to cover the superbly anti-climatic unveiling of Paolo Thorpe, 33, as Albrecht’s first-choice goalkeeper this season. His move from KT Hotspur had been widely anticipated following Joel Sbaïz’s breakthrough season for the Rose of Sharon outfit; but there were plenty of questions still to be asked, given the Arrigo-born Thorpe’s age and the lack of other signings in key areas. To date, the only deal to get excited about was the arrival of yet another Eesseffian, the defender Loren Meyer; with the previously confirmed arrivals of Nic Noble and Lars Wiedemann expected merely to warm the bench.

The Scorpions’ current set of kids are good, it was generally argued, but can an entirely home-grown midfield really hope to challenge the steadily accumulated, foreigner-heavy midfields of Albrecht Turkish, Green Island et al? Yet what perturbed the assembled sportswriters most was the absence from the press conference of Albrecht manager Trevor Organ. In his place sat a distinctly uncomfortable Reuben Uwakwe, the former C&M international who now serves as the club’s goalkeeping coach.

There was nothing sinister in this, the club’s Director of Football, Martin Hole-Simpkins, was quick to stress; confirming that Organ had flown the day before to the former Rejistania, on a scouting trip. “Why?” was the inevitable reply, but Hole-Simpkins confidently assured them that the venerable age of the Ariddian right-back Naoki Tonnelier meant that the club would have at least one foreign-quota-slot open come next season and that the Transnationals offered much in the way of new young talent.

That was the status quo until the early hours of this morning, when Herald reporter Morgan Fattori, in Rejistania’s regional neighbour of Hopeless SC researching a colour piece on the popular KT Hotspur midfielder Wally Milton, was suddenly ushered by his local contact to the country’s National Soccer Academy for the announcement that Trevor Organ would, as of today, be installed as the national team’s head coach.

A broadly grinning Organ was then seen to waddle his way up to the podium and address the crowd, promising to bring a new attacking style to the team, turn the country’s home ground into an internationally feared fortress and to make a realistic bid for World Cup 40 qualification.

The Herald was the first C&M media outlet to break news of Organ’s departure, and within minutes the article was the most viewed item on this paper’s website. By six o’clock this morning TV1’s ¡Buenos Días! breakfast show was leading with the story and a crowd had begun to gather outside the MSS demanding an explanation.

By half past five it had become necessary to deploy a number of police officers to the scene, which had the expected effect of increasing the rowdiness of the throng to the point that a bleary-eyed Hole-Simpkins, his wee willie winkie hat hastily stuffed into his left trouser pocket, was all but forced to emerge in order to placate the irate multitude now amassed the length and breadth of Snow Street demanding answers.

To a chorus of whistles, boos and the occasional slipper, Hole-Simpkins confirmed that the club had received a pay-off for Organ’s contract and that he was no longer in the employ of Albrecht FC. The similar status of youth team boss David Stone was also publicly established for the first time, with the fifty-eight year-old set to become Organ’s assistant with the Hopeless SC side after a decade of service at Albrecht.

If anything, the unexpected news of Stone’s departure attracted even more venom than Organ’s; given the huge role the Songstress-born former club left-back has played in revitalising the club’s youth system.

Hole-Simpkins made no announcement as to the new man at the helm and much of the crowd, appreciating that they really better had make the most of the four-day week what with one thing and another, rapidly dissipated. But the area around the MSS wouldn’t stay quiet for long; when what would eventually become a group of over two thousand supporters began to emerge following the club’s second press conference in twenty-four hours. This time the Director of Football was accompanied by Andy Le Lan, the former Abiodun North and C&M Under-21 coach, who was confirmed as Albrecht’s new manager. This news provoked a furious reaction from a small section of supporters, who broke through police cordons and began hurling bottles at the stadium’s offices.

A potential Situation was initially calmed by the arrival of the club’s major shareholder and executive vice-president Lynn Lukes, the daughter of the legendary Leonard ‘Lilian’ Prettyman who starred for Deevin FC in the National Foot-Ball League shortly before the club became Albrecht FC. After parking her microlight and removing her natty little goggles, Lukes marched towards the stadium’s entrance only to find her way blocked by several large security guards brandishing threatening-looking earpieces.

A livid Lukes then held an impromptu press conference of her own, claiming that she had just returned from a trip to Switzaland to hold talks over the vacant managerial position with C&M head coach Lloyd Donnelly; who had previously won three CMSC titles at the helm of the Scorpions prior to Organ’s promotion. She added that they had been on the verge of an agreement to bring the sixty-eight year-old back to his former club, before news of Le Lan’s appointment began filtering through. Lukes claimed that she had failed to be consulted by Hole-Simpkins on either Organ’s impending move or Le Lan’s arrival, and blamed the Director of Football for bringing in a ‘sub-standard manager’ when the C&M international boss was ‘champing at the bit’ to return, and confirmed she would be attempting to block the move at an extraordinary shareholder’s meeting to be held this evening.

Whether Lukes will be present however remains unclear, after a spokesman for Hole-Simpkins announced that the dominant Mastini family – who have controlled the club since 1938 and who appointed Hole-Simpkins as the de facto chairman several seasons ago – would be attempting to ‘engender [Lukes’] removal from the board’ following her ‘bizarre moment of gross insubordination’ and ‘ego-driven desire to disrupt the future success of Albrecht Football Club’. Lukes has most recently told TTO that she intends to seek legal advice.

Reactions by fans range from surprise to fury, starting with Organ’s possession of the Hopeless SC job and working up. Season-ticket holder Glen Roberts, 35, told the Herald that “the Hopelessians don’t know what they’ve let themselves in for. That’s two years in a row Organ couldn’t win the title. That’s just not good enough for Albrecht Football Club. They’ve got an absolute dud there, the poor bastards.” Roberts’ ire was instead directed towards Hole-Simpkins and the arrival of Le Lan. “This is a guy who got Abiodun relegated and couldn’t even win the [act of love-making] Di Bradini Cup! We always win the Di Bradini Cup! This season’s just going to be a nightmare.”

Speaking from outside Hole-Simpkins’ palatial mansion in the Clamber Away district of the capital, which he was in the process of egging, an incensed Julius Dutton, 23, claimed that it was “the duty of all proper fans to support Lukes, a proper child of our club, over that money-obsessed interloper. Orgs worked wonders with what he’d got. [Hole-Simpkins] didn’t give him any cash to play with and he still won the league title in his first season. I just dunno how they could’ve let him go.”

Organ’s predecessor as Hopeless SC boss, KT Hotspur manager Thomas Larson, wished his successor well in interview with TV1’s Keenan Bailey this morning, but wore the somewhat bemused expression of many of his colleagues in Candelarias football. Pundits seems divided over Organ’s prospects, but digital network TTO Sport clearly believe that there will be significant interest in his progress and look likely to bid for the rights for key Hopeless SC World Cup qualifying games, to add to their live football portfolio including the Corganen Championship, Cafundéu League, the third-choice TQCC package and the Casaran Soccer Association Trophy semi-final first-legs, for some reason. The involvement of Organ should get them decent viewing figures, given that he becomes the first Candelariasian to manage a national team apart from his own, and only the fourth to manage internationally following the Cafundéu-based Javier Sanchez and the Kura-Pelland-based Adam Williamson and Jacob Wilson.

Officials from the Hopeless SC soccer association are yet to deny rumours appearing in the lunchtime edition of the Albrecht Republican claiming that the new man was chosen primarily because he has a mildly amusing name that possesses multiple opportunities for headlines.

“The Football Association has today announced that Graham Partland, manager of Southenham United, has been appointed manager of the Bostopian national team. Southenham, who finished sixth in last season's First Division against all expectations following a meteoric rise through the football system were in the East Isle Premier Division, step 8 of the football pyramid, only fifteen years ago, and have been credited for managing to keep hold of such a strong manager, despite the overtures from larger clubs.

However, it remains to be seen whether Partland will be able to manage time between club and country, and we'll bring you more on the story when we get it.”

It was a hard life being an illegal immigrant. You had to balance so many things just to have the chance to survive. Pablo wondered how he was able to do it all. He had to provide food for his girlfriend and eight children. He had to pay the rent for their one-room apartment. Then, there were some other expenses here and there. Job security was barely existent. He had to work day by day on whatever contractors hired him for. He could make maybe $50 a day, depending on how much he worked.

Pablo generally worked on construction projects. He was an excellent carpenter. He also did landscaping work. Sometimes, he was lucky and was paid a lot by landscapers. He would mow lawns, trim trees, cut trees down, whatever was needed. He never really liked cutting trees down, but it sure made a lot of money. Sometimes as much as $200 in just one day. If he could make that much every day, he could bring his family out of the grips of poverty. That would not happen though. Pablo never got many jobs that paid that high.

Futbol was a popular sport among illegal immigrants and Pablo was no exception. He'd meet on Saturdays with fellow illegal immigrants in the park to play it. They would bring their families and have a picnic. It was never really competitive. They'd just break into teams and play for fun. No one ever cared who won and they all congratulated each other on a good game. One day, the group of illegal immigrants decided they should make their own international team. They were very talented and some of the best around. Pablo thought it was a good idea and before they knew it, they were on their way to the 40th NationStates World Cup. Pablo hoped there were no INS agents hiding in Starblaydia or Krytenia...

The NationStates Inquisition: Yafalonia and Bazor 2

We here at the NationStates Inquisition would like to thank our loyal reader for single-handedly keeping this one and only free and fully independent newspaper operating from And Island.

In celebration of the dual-national team re-entering the World Cup, we've decided that we are going to do a series of articles on our fine great nations. If only we can work out what's going on.

However there is something that we all agree on... "Turtles make a terrible soup"

First... our history...

The Dual-nations of Yafalonia and Bazor 2 have had an extensive history throughout time that has lasted for at least 10 years, when a group of univeristy student abducted thousands of people to use as a social experiment. This experiment was a joint collaboration by Bazalonian and Yaforite higher learning institutions. However the students soon lost control over the experiment when conflict arose about one minute into the experiment.

This hapened when a mouse that was a pet of one of the experimentee's started to talk, soon everyone was up in arms over the suggestion it made. "This place should be called 'Yafalonia' it said. However some people countered with an alternate suggestion. "Nah, we should call it Bazor 2" It is hard to get the exact names of the people involved but they are believed to be known by this paper as "Howard Ino", "Jack Schitt" and "Ab ouristry". We are unsure which side "Ab ouristry" was on but we are 100% certain that Howard Ino was on the Yafalonian side and Jack Schitt was a Bazorite.

It didn't take long for the 2 major Factions to be formed... There was a third and very minor group that wanted the name to be-called and, but they were drowned out and were generally absorbed into the 2 major groups. A long ferrocious battle was waged over the next hour with a total of the death of a cat, a dog, 3 budgerigars and someone's fingers getting stuck.

A truce was agreed to and signed... but the two camps generally kept to themselves, over the years with the discovery of a large Island and another major landmass, the despute was settled once and for all to everyone's liking Yafalonia got the original landmass, Bazor 2 got the other major landmass because "it stunk of stupid Yafalonians, even the now re-emerged And lot got their own land taking the Island in the middle, acting as a buffer between the 2 major groups.

ANNOUNCER: Sportscenter... brought to you by Tap Water. A refreshing truth in advertising!

KENNETH: With World Cup 40 qualifiers just around the corner, fans of the Dancougar Black Wings are wondering about the makeup of the team. The Dancougar Football Association is not rushing the selection process, it says, because it's still finishing up the details on the deal with the team's new coach... Charles DuPont, former head man in Sel Appa. (Highlight reel of Sel Appan games.) DuPont was the man who built Sel Appa into a perennial world power, but the team unexpectedly failed to qualify for World Cup 39. With that result, he resigned before the Cup of Harmony began. But in an interview with Pardon the Interruption, revealed that he might not be done...

(Interview clip)
DUPONT: After ten Cups, I figured it was time to go. I could have stayed on and done fine, but it was really best to "pass on the hat" as we say in Sel Appa. I certainly do think I still have the abilities to coach well and will do my best to help whatever team hires me. A lot of mid-ranked nations made offers knowing I could help them get over the hill and into the top 20. It's a thick glass ceiling I'm happy we punched through.

(Back to the studio)
KENNETH: Terms of the deal have not been disclosed, but he's expected to lead the team's qualifying efforts through at least World Cup 42. But what can we expect from him in terms of a starting eleven? PTI discusses.

(Cut to the PTI studio)
JACK: So, the major question to start is how much control the FA is going to pass to DuPont when it comes to building the team.

BILL: I would imagine that they're going to give him quite a bit of control, otherwise I don't know if they would've been able to lure him out here. But he's got a lot to read up on. There are over two hundred college teams with around twenty players each or more. He's going to need to lean on the FA for awhile before he can really immerse himself in the college game here.

JACK: Yeah, and I think it's going to be tricky, because not only does he not know the player pool very well yet, but I don't know if he'll find the right mix of guys he wants. He's traditionally put together a very attacking team, but there just aren't that many quality forwards here. There's a lot more midfielders, utility guys. And if he's extrapolated what he saw from Rizzi in the Turtle Cup, he might even be a bit worried that the players he'll have to choose from will need a lot of conditioning. The top guys he can probably string along, but if he has to dig deep to find the guys he wants, there will be problems.

BILL: But one of the big problems for the Wings last time around was scoring goals. When you look at their body of work in World Cup qualifying and the Cup of Harmony, they're giving up more than they're scoring and barely winning half of their games. DuPont is going to need to infuse some energy into this team if they're going to compete. I think he's in a good position to do that. Since he can devote his time to national team duty, he'll be able, I think, to get in place the organization he needs to strengthen his team. And we might see him switch it up if things don't work.

JACK: It'll certainly be interesting to see what team gets rolled out once the draw is live. Time now for the Big Finish! Rumors are circulating that Hideo Ikeda will be returning as team captain after seeing light action in Cafundeu. You buy that?

BILL: I can see them doing it, but has he gotten any better at creating chances, that's what matters. Recruiting class rankings are in... and Ouran is ranked number one! How odd is that?

JACK: Well, the kids know Hazuki State is going to get raided for the World Cup, so they'll be down for awhile. An international competition for teams without domestic leagues has just started play. Is this what we need to get professionals playing here?

BILL: There's no money to start a league inside of Dancougar, how are we going to send teams out of it? Lastly, the St. Mary's Catholic School is on the verge of winning that Turtle Cup! Unlikeliest champions ever?

JACK: I'm sure there's been stranger ones, and we may yet see them. That's all the time we have, we'll see you tomorrow.

(Studio)
SCOTTY: Sportscenter rolls on. Coming up - Chastain College looks like the strongest team in the Northern Plains this year; we'll break down that conference's challengers and doormats in today's installment of our college football fall preview. And we'll sit down with Yuki State - Helmsley conditioning coach Tony Travers, former national team defender, to hear his thoughts on where the college game needs to go next.

PETERSON DENIES REPORTS IN ALBRECHT REPUBLICAN

Upon hearing of rumors circulated by the Candelaria and Marquez paper Albrecht Republican, Hopeless SC Soccer Academy Administrator Brian Peterson quickly issued a denial of the rumors. He stated that due to the team's lack of past success, there were not many people who expressed an interest in the position and that Head Coach Organ was the best qualified candidate for the position among the applicants. Peterson went on to add that with the increasing ages of the Wanderers' players, it is likely that a youth movement will be taking place soon, and that Organ has had to rely largely on youth before to achieve his past success.

However, Peterson refused to comment on the rumor that the Candelaria and Marquez digital network TTO Sport was putting in a bid to televise Wanderers World Cup 40 qualifying matches in their nation.

One thing that everyone is agreed on is that it will be interesting to see how Organ does at the helm of the Wanderers, and how the team responds to the new, more offensive, style of play.

"...yes, I've heard about it, no, I don't have a comment, yes, I'd give you one if I did, no, I don't have anything more to say..."

"...my political affiliations are, and always have been, no business of..."

"...the tickets should be on the way. Just...don't be stupid, okay?"

"So, this is the national team."

Rohit Sharma stepped out of the considerably-elevated train, Zoe McQuoid close behind. "What you expected?" she asked.

"Not so many people."

"The train station's new, I guess the reporters didn't want to hike."

Rohit nodded, kneeling down to scoop up some snow which he experimentally packed into a ball. He threw it towards a distant cliff: it disintegrated on the way down.

"There's Coach Mcgimpy, hey coach." Zoe turned to join several fellow midfielders.

"Hey." Rohit ambled forward.

"Hullo there," Mcgimpy said amiably. "You must be...Sharma?"

"That obvious?"

"You're wearing your jersey, it's got Sharma written on the back," Mcgimpy improvised.

Rohit nodded, but only momentarily. "You can't see the back."

"Well, it's got Namiri Forest written on the front, and I can tell you're not 29."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"You two are the only Namiri players on the national team."

"Me and-oh. Okay."

"Anyhow, your goalscoring record speaks for itself-may it survive and prosper. Except when you're playing Spenson Suburbia, I just said the same thing to 31."

"...Right," Rohit nodded, slowly walking away to find Zoe. "I am so far out of my league. Literally-is that Eddie Barnes kicking the ball around?"

"Yeah. Dirk's the one shivering because it's too cold and Megan's the one dodging the low-flying clipboard."

Rohit nodded again. "...Okay. Thanks."

"And that was John Jameson showing us live pictures of that cat on a mat over in Corcaigh. Now then onto today's weather forecast and it looks like it's going to... hold on, I'm getting something in my ear, we go live now to the Houses of Parliament."

*The show switches from the news studio to a reporter inside the Houses of Parliament.

"I'm Billy Underwold and I'm here live! in the Houses of Parliament in Beningrad, which is at this moment the scene of a coup attempt! We can go live now to the Sky cam for live pics of the coup from the SNTV News helicopter!"

"Thanks Billy, I'm John Eye-"in the sky" , and I'm here in the SNTV News helicopter with a live sky-view of the coup."

"John, it's Billy again what can you see?"

"Well nothing really Billy, as the coup is happening inside the building, all I can see is the roof, although a bird on the roof just had a crap!"

"Thanks John, amazing images there I'm sure. Hold on! I hear footsteps, someone's coming. And OH MY GOD!!! HE HAS A WATER PISTOL, RUN!! RUN!!"

*The reporter runs down a dead end followed by the gunman.

"HELP, HELP, HELP!"

"Eh? It's ok pal, I come in peace. I just wanted to ask if you knew where the President's office was."

"Oh right, no I don't. Anyway so are you the fellow whose doing this coup?"

"Why, yes I am."

"Oh well it seems like the coup is over as you have a number of police officers about to corner you. Admittedly they are running in slow motion so we have just enough time to do a quick interview before they catch you if you don't mind?"

"Er sure why not?"

"Well ok, first question I guess, why do you want to take control in a coup?"

"Er tough question, why was I doing the coup? Oh yes I remember."

"Well?"

"Oh right yeah. Well I think the current President, Jimmy Sheridan, doesn't have the qualities to lead this. He's a smashing bloke though. Just yesterday he gave me the addresses for some top quality porn sites."

"The bastard, he told me he didn't know of any. So what qualities does he lack?"

"Well the military for one thing, under Sheridan, military spending has raised by a mere seven percent from just zero percent to seven percent. This is a mere increase of $500,758,872,304. It's not enough, and since he's come in we've only been in one war."

"So what would you do differently?"

"Well as you may realise from my uniform..."

"Your not wearing anything!"

"Oh gosh! How right you are! I say I must have forgotten to get dressed this morning. Anyway I meant to wear my Army General's uniform I got from when I was a General in the army which would have shown I was a former army general."

"Right so you'd bring in military experience? What good will that be?"

"Well having been part of the military I shall know how it can be improved and I will be able to lead the nation in armed combat. Like you know Kim Il-Song is the supreme commander of the Korean Peoples Army. I'd be like that."

"Right so you'd lead the country like Kim Jong-Il leads North Korea?"

"Yes, I'd..."

*The police then arrest the man and drag him away screaming...

"I'll be back! You've not heard the last of me! General Dickie O'Reilly! Remember the name!"

"Well I'm Billy Underwold and that was an SNTV News exclusive interview with some random bloke whose attempted coup here in the Houses of Parliament failed, back to the studio!"

Somewhere in the mountains of Northern Qazox...

After 3 months of following up leads, false leads, corrupted computer information and using legal and illegal interregation tactics, Agent Victor finally, reached the log cabin of the man he was looking for, at least he hoped, or else that Sorthern Northland agent was going to recieve a very un-welcome, homecoming gift. He reached for the handle of the door and knocked very loudly.

"If you are whom I think you are, then I apologize in advance, but NO," a voice called out from within.

"If you know who I am, then why not accept your duty to the country?" Agent Victor asked.

"Son, I've saved Qazox so damn many times, I'd have to grow 6 extra feet and 15 extra hands, just to count a quarter of the times I've done it. I'm not going to do it any more. They got themselves into this mess, let the damnned people get themseleves out of it," the voice answered, dripping with anger.

"Sir, it's not only Qazox that needs your help, It's the enitre Continuum and possibly the world. Somehow the current government has re-opened certain files and they are working on them even as we speak." Victor intoned with a hint of contempt at even giving the slightest legitimacy towards Daniel Renoir's coup.

"I sincerely doubt that at all, especially since I'm the only person, still living, that even knows one, what those files contain, and two, the items required to complete Project Cobalt, have been completely destroyed and sent back to the Dreamed Realm where the Oneiromancer is holding it. And I doubt that the Oneiromancer will let that particular item loose upon the world again any time soon." the man replied. "Son, when you're holding a seven-duece off-suit, don't raise the pot, especially since I'm holding Pocket Aces."

"Well, you force me to use my last wild card then, Sir. Does the name Ingrid Hass mean anything to you? Appearently she's the main force behind the current events that are shaping Qazox." Victor asked.

After a few moments of silence and few choice Starblaydian curses, the door opened and Kyle Cartman said "What do you need me to do?"

The Albrecht Herald Online>Sport>Football>Latest News
Under fire Donnelly names WC40 squad

The twenty-three members of the Big Blues’ fifth World Cup qualifying squad were confirmed this lunchtime, but the focus for many supporters and pundits remains on the manager. Lloyd Donnelly’s place in the dugout remains in question following claims earlier this week by Lynn Lukes, the rebel Albrecht FC Executive Vice-President, that he had been on the verge of agreeing a return to his former club prior to Andy Le Lan’s sudden confirmation as the new manager.

Speaking publicly for the first time since the incident, at the press conference to announce the new squad, Donnelly strenuously denied the allegations, claiming that he had merely politely listened to her offer and had in fact been rather pissed off to be interrupted during a skiing holiday in Switzaland.

But Donnelly has long been linked with a return to club management, and that pronouncement butters few fans’ parsnips. A mutually antagonistic atmosphere between C&M fans and the national team’s management was compounded several months ago following the team’s meek exit from the World Cup at the hands of Milchama, after which Donnelly took to laying blame at the feet of the supporters for failing to control the small group of All Saints Army members whose presence in the Eesseff remains the subject of a Ministry for Sport/CAMAFA investigation. Fans, meanwhile, blamed Donnelly’s inability to react to the Warriors equaliser shortly before half-time and a series of strange substitutions.

Both interpretations may be unfair; but the recent revelation of Donnelly’s relationship with Elizabeth Baker, the widow of former C&M manager Mark Baker, has also done nothing to help the current national gaffer’s PR. He has declined to discuss the issue with the press, except to ask that their privacy be respected, but hostile comments attributed the Bakers’ son Robert have given the tabloids an opening to berate the couple at every opportunity. Elizabeth, who is seventeen years younger than her new beau, has come in for particularly unpleasant criticism; regularly labelled as a gold digger after rumours that her long missing husband left her little in his will. The accusations following Baker’s disappearance that both she and their two sons were involved have long since evaporated, but a desire to retain her as public enemy number one remains as strong as ever in certain sections of the press.

Donnelly’s squad itself is hardly revolutionary, but includes seven newcomers and what may prove to be a very different-looking first team. The three goalkeepers from last time out are retained but the defence, aside from William Burgos at right-back, is utterly changed. The retirement from international football of captain Benji Fu was a blessing for Donnelly, who no doubt felt duty-bound to include the veteran centre-back despite his rapid decline in form, but the manager has also seen fit to punish the other three options in that position.

Mars Douyadari is dropped outright, while Tom Redway and Lorenzo De Wilde are widely expected to have to settle for spots on the bench. Redway’s absence during the World Cup finals following the opener against Az-cz remains unexplained, though the tabloids have been having a good crack at it with a series of bizarre allegations of the Port of Clotaire man’s own private life; while De Wilde suffers for both his petulant off-field attitude and that ghastly challenge against Milchama from which Kenji Miller scored the decisive penalty. In their place come Steven Williams and Ben Young; both former charges of Donnelly’s in the under-21s and recent CMSC league winner and runner-up respectively.

Donnelly has proved just as ruthless on the left, with Doug Szczechowicz mercifully cut from the squad for the sake of the islands’ sportswriters; and Özkan Yalçin also, more surprisingly, given the old heave-ho. Instead, the involvement of José Luis Sosa says much for Donnelly’s priorities, in picking the genuine left-back Sosa in favour of the left-winger masquerading as a left wing-back Yalçin. This has been seen as a public admission that the manager’s preferred formations recently have not played to C&M’s strengths, and that a bog-standard 4-4-2 is now where it’s at.

Not that this squad doesn’t give out mixed messages on that account. Only one right midfielder in included – old O’Sullivan Caras – with José Felipe Cassumba Domingos and Burgos presumably expected to fill in if necessary. Cassumba Domingos’ place is still under threat by Fred Ma, but there are no other out-and-out attacking central midfielders in the squad. Instead Donnelly retains all three of the more defensively-minded players; perhaps as a public show of defiance in hoping to continue to use his 2-3-2-1-2 on occasion, or perhaps reflecting Matteo Corradini’s development as a creative force. He looks unlikely to start initially however; with new captain Ben Head still keeping his spot ahead of Corradini and a frustrated Connor Mengucci.

Donnelly opts for two newcomers on the left, with Jos Cornelisse unceremoniously dropped. The likes of Cornelisse and Zachary Pinkowski can’t claim that their club football away from Candelariasian shores is damaging their chances however; with Yarzoya FC winger Alessio Montano the man to inherit their spot. Indeed, there are a record ten foreign-based players in the squad. Donnelly was quick to tow the party line that this is only reasonable given that somewhere in the region of a third of first-team players in the CMSC are foreign nationals, but the figure still reflects the topsy-turvy nature of domestic football in C&M. Of those countries to have named their squad already; Bettia, the Eesseff, Hopeless SC, Nethertopia, Taeshan, Vephrall and Zwangzug have named CMSC players, while another four or five are expected to be among the imminent Kura-Pelland squad.

Three of C&M’s own overseas champions are amongst the five selected strikers – a large figure compared to the usual four and one which has raised more than a few eyebrows. How much playing time those on the fringes will receive remains unclear, but it is hard to see how Donnelly could have left Joe Cunningham out of the twenty-three following his five goals in eleven international appearances (and ten of those as a substitute), while Rául Vélez’s status as the top Candelariasian scorer in the CMSC last year made his involvement alongside his elder brother all but a given.

With forty-one goals in seventy-two C&M appearances between them, Ignacio Vélez and Ramiro Novo look likely of keeping their places up front. Perhaps the most notable member of the squad however is the fifth and final forward, Rex Sandstrom. Making his debut over eight years ago at the Baptism of Fire, Sandstrom was the darling of Candelarias football… before being chopped from the squad following a late-night boozing session in Cookesland and a series of poor performances at the Cup of Harmony in Kura-Pelland. Ironically, the Vircais country has proved Sandstrom’s salvation, as he only narrowly failed to lead Depor to an astonishing league title. The days of the tanned playboy proved well and truly over in El Arapucera, as Sandstrom became a real leader; even playing the season’s final game through a hamstring strain. Whether he can force his way past Novo – a league title winner in Kura-Pelland – or Ignacio Vélez – currently at arguably the biggest club in the world – remains to be seen; but as a supersub he may yet prove vital as C&M seek a third qualification.

THE MONASTIC TIMES

NEW MATCH VENUE ANNOUNCED
'Peaceful Clearing in Woods' to host Archregimancy Matches

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

The Monastic Football Association today shocked the God-fearing monks of Borisoglebsky Monastery by announcing that all forthcoming matches would be held in a 'peaceful clearing in the woods' instead of Borisoglebsky's famous all-wooden stadium.

"This Lenten Season - and it's worth reminding the schismatic heretics that the True Easter is fully five weeks after the Heretical Schismatic Easter this year - we have decided that a calmer, more relaxing venue would be more appropriate to the Holy nature of this time of year" said a senior Archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity. "Borisoglebsky is a fine venue, but not quite as plain, simple, and humble as we're looking for this Great Lent".

Monastic Football Association officials later confirmed that they will simply paint a football pitch onto a peaceful clearing in the woods, though visiting teams will be offered international-standard dressing rooms underground within the clearing. MFA sources also confirmed that visiting teams will be allowed to bring non-Lenten foods for their own purposes where visiting teams are not following the Lenten fast. It remains unclear how any visiting fans will be accommodated, if indeed they are to be accommodated at all.

Senior officials at Borisoglebsky were said to be privately fuming - "why did the MFA wait until we already in Great Lent before announcing this?" asked one source, who asked to remain anonymous - but accepted the decision after being given a commitment that home matches would return to Borisoglebsky for World Cup 41.

Sporting News Weekly

Hryvinia Posts Late Entry to 40th World Cup
By Stefan Johansson

Over a month after World Cup signups began, the national side of Hryvinia has announced it's intent to sign up.

Manager Jakob Mueller said in an exclusive statement to Sporting News Weekly that he feels his team is "ready for the big time" and hopes to show the world what Hryvinians are made of on the pitch.

"We're ready for this. We've been training since the end of the season and morale on the team is sky-high," striker Sven Freiholt said.

While oddsmakers seem to disagree on Hryvinia's chances of making it to the finals, players and fans alike are confident that they can hang with the powers of world football.

They'll have to do it without a key player however, as midfielder Sverre Erikksen was forced to retire to assume his duties as King of Hryvinia. King Sverre IV has however stated that he will be on hand to watch the matches and hinted that he may make an appearance on the sidelines.

At any rate, the 40th Annual World Cup looks to be another exciting ride.

www.sportingnews.hr/football/nationalside.htm (c) 2008

The IFA of Daehanjeiguk wishes to announce in honor of Cha Beomgeun's success at coaching the Imperial Team to through the inaugural World Cup, nearly 4 seasons after the Baptism of Fire triumph, the construction of a new national stadium. It is slated for completion by the qualification period for WC41, named "Cha Beomgeun Memorial Football Stadium" (車範根紀念競技場|차범근기념경기장). Full statistics will be available following completion of the project, although early estimates provided by Samseong Construction suggest that the stadium will be able to house 300,000 people - including spots for 1500 VIP places, including the venerable Emperor's seat. The stadium will also feature new facitilies for the IFA's new HQ, as the old facilities at the Emperor Gojong Stadium were becoming outdated (DDR server not fast enough). In addition, a standard mega mall will be constructed in the sublevel, along with an access to the Metro system of Hangyeong.

Jeruselem Government News

Dallas Matriarch dies in Ariddia

Natasha Dallas, the mother of Debbie and Dazza Dallas died today of natural causes in Ariddia. The mother of two who moved back to Ariddia later in her life, leaves a very large family behind. Natasha's body will be flown back to Jeruselem for the funeral.

While the legacy of Natasha Dallas will not very well known as she's wasn't well known outside Jeruselem. Her legacy is not with what she did, but what her two girls did. While she was the family Matriarch, the real power behind the Dallas empire has always been her daughters. She lived a quiet life, helping her kids with raising the kids but keeping out of the family business preferring to leave the kids to take care of that.

The official title of family Matriarch falls to Debbie Dallas but most people regard Dazza Dallas as the real Matriarch. Natasha Dallas maybe gone but she's left behind a family bigger than the one she left in Ariddia. Anyone who has met Natasha Dallas, has a good impression of her. A kind soul with who doesn't bother other people but does care about the community. She spent her entire life raising kids and her kid's kids.

Dallas family will announce funeral arrangements later this week. Kate Dallas will be at the funeral too to mourn her grandmother.

The rain streamed down the door, as a lone figure in a trench coat hurriied his way inside. "If he does another pulp noir introduction I'm going to kill him." figure said shedding his coat at the entrance to what turned out to be quite a flash restraunt. It was entitled "Club 43" however describing it merely as a club would not do it justice. It was perhaps one the last remaining restraunts that had live music, well if you ignore the pubs.

Despite the public perception, which was that of a swinging night spot, which undoubtidly it was, you don't get a public perception of that just providing a few beer nuts or crackers and cheddar cheese, but still there was a lot of things that happened here that most people were un-aware of. It was a front, a front for a notorious criminal Sydnicate that hadn't been able to actually do a job for quite some time.

The man entered into the employee section of the restraunt and into a back room were 4 of his minion
o since before before my mum was a twinkle in ma grandmother's eye."

"uh, Johnny."

"Thank you I'm very well aware of the implications that might have to Quantum Mechanics vis-a-vis Time travelling but, the point is... I Play Soccer, and not bad at it, If I do say so my self."

"Not bad?! I heard that all the A-League teams were falling over each other to get you, your a star but you won't be a pro, Why's that Johnny?"

"because I've been having so much fun with you lugs lately, especially with the World Cup around the corner... you know I've been thinking if it's so hard... then why don't we just go legit? It's not like were bleeding money and CLub 43's doing swell. "

It was as if a light-bulb went off above the gang leaders head, and it did, as some one had turned on a light in the room. "Hey Johnny, I got an idea, you go play Soccer, see if you can get in this 'World Cup' and we'll tag along with you and go legit."

"Thanks Boy's, that'd be perfect."

"Hey, why don't you go and try out know..."

"You know, I think i Might."

"See ya Johnny""bye Johnny"later Johnny""ta-ra Johnny""Sayonara Dangerously-san" said the minions and the boss, the Boss obviously spoke first with the last minion putting his hands together and bowing as if Japanese. They all started at him. "What?!"

Once Johnny had left the mob boss looked gleeful... "Boys, alright we're back in business."

"But you told Johnny we're going legit?"

"He's going Legit, if we can't commit crimes in Bazalonia then we're going to commit crimes in other nations. It'll be brilliant!"

"But what if he doesn't get in?"

"Don't be stupid it's in the script, of course he'll get in. This is a Bazalonian RP afterall."

"Wait, you guys have a script?! They didn't give me anything. I'm calling my agent!"

Tynelian Factbook
Population- 130 million

National animal- Ferret
Professional Teams named after the Ferret in some way- 11

Currency- vinli
Exchange rate- 1.24vinli = $1 US

Ethnic Breakdown- Tynelia is a land of mainly Anglo-Saxon descent with over three quarters of the country coming from the British isles in some way or another. English is the primary language of the country with a smattering of German and Russian in some areas as a secondary language. Most Tynelians speak English only.
English- 41%
Irish -21%
Scottish -16%
German- 8.3%
Russian- 5.1%
Spanish- 2.5%
Ukraine- 2.1%
Jewish- 1.7%
French- 1.1%
Other- 1.2%

Religious breakdown and approximate number of members- While Atheism has been far and away the most common religious preference for many years, this year’s survey saw the numbers drop below 82% for the first time ever. The Catholic and Jewish numbers remain steady over the years while the biggest rise has come from the New Othydoxic Christian Church of Reborn Othydoxy. Not even existing twenty years ago, it has now reached the point of being the third largest actual religion in the country. Some note this rise coincides with Tynelia’s recent successes in the World Cup and feel the numbers will drop as the team’s fortunes does and is nothing to be concerned over.

An indirect beneficiary has been the Eastern Orthodox church which has led the fight against the NOCCRO and was instrumental in removing an anathema from the country few had noticed some years back. From a mere .01% of the population twenty years ago they have grown almost tenfold since then though still dwarfed by the NOCCRO’s rise. The fringe religions have changed little over the years.
Atheist- 81.1% 105,400,000
Catholic- 17.0% 22,100,000
Jewish- 1.6% 2,080,000
The New Othydoxic Christian Church of Reborn Othydoxy- .17% 221,000
Eastern Orthodox-.096% 125,000
Muslim-.027% 35,000
Anglican- .0033% 4300
other- .0037% 4800

Major Cities The main population centers of the country tend to be in the western portion of the country and along the coast in the south and southeast where the tourist industry booms in the summers. The north is most lightly populated due to the mountainous terrain and cold winters while the east is considered Tynelia’s breadbasket and dotted with smaller towns.

Tyr- pop- 1,300,000 location- central Tynelia. venues- Presidential Coliseum (65,000), Danbridge Arena (98,000)- profession teams- 2 soccer, 2 baseball, 1 hockey, 1 curling, 1 football, 1 basketball

Varrik- pop- 1,010,000 location- southern coast . venues- Sun Stadia (48,000), Heliodome (75,000)- professional teams- 1 soccer, 1 baseball, 1 basketball, 1 football

Damak- pop-900,000 location- north. venues- Ice Bowl (34,000), Frozen Palace (65,000)- professional teams- 1 hockey, 3 curling, 1 soccer, 1 baseball, 1 football

Haven- pop-690,000 location- central Tynelia- 150mi west of Tyr. venues- Arcadia Stadium (55,000)- professional teams- 1 soccer, 1 baseball, 1 football, 1 curling

Brisdane- pop- 580,000 location- southeastern coast, venues- Kilpatrick Arena (44,000)- professional teams- 1 baseball, 1 football, 1 soccer,1 basketball

Kelmut- pop 540,000-location- southwest, venues- Morgan Arena (48,000)- professional teams- 1 baseball, 1 football, 1 soccer

Rionna- pop-510,000- location- northwest, venues- Victoria Stadium (39,000)- professional teams- 1 curling, 1 hockey, 1 football

Favorite Sports The claims for sports supremacy has been a four way battle for quite some time as baseball, curling, soccer and football have all been #1 at some point in time. As it stands now baseball is supreme, barely but a strong Cup showing could move soccer back to the top.
Baseball-20%
Curling-18%
Soccer- 17%
Football-15%
Hockey-10%
Tennis- 7%
Basketball-6%
Golf-3%
Cycling-1%
Badminton- 1%
Other-2%

The IFA is pleased to announce a contract between Cafundeu resident, Toki Ioshido, who will serve as the National Team's Head Coach for the next World Cup Season. His primary job is to get the team into shape before the World Cup Qualification Tour, and following this announcement, the IFA confided trust in the Cafundeu national.

"Though his experience is limited to domestic competitions, his reputation is very impressive there. And he has experience working for foreign nationals. Inevitably, he can carry some of that good experience and begin managing more prominent teams. He also follows the traditions of excellent football skills - both on and off the pitch - from Cafundeu."

The press began to ask questions of a military alliance between the Han Empire and Cafundeu as a result of this new development. "What? These allegations are ludicrous. Why would we make a military alliance with a country whose sole cultural contributions to the Han Empire are merely excellent football playing?" A random reporter blurbed some reference to the war against Bostopia, leading to another denial - "No, the IFA is not going to war againsnt Bostopia again, even if we were drawn in the same group! Aren't you people interested in learning more about Toki?"

The press was evidently more interested in the military developments of the IFA, which led to a subsequent termination of the press conference. And no, there is no military alliance between Cafundeu, even though numerous political and social developments might suggest so. Just believe us - we don't even know if they have a military.

Sta’ťma Prazkoy’wit’ňe?
(Stah'tyhmah Prahzkoy'veet'nyeh)


What is Prazkoy? Well, many foreigners will be coming to the country of Prazkoy, with that question on mind. And they might even ask an average Praži (Prazhee) citizen, but they'll be disappointed when they get the response: "Ye’ňesilžapit (yeh'nyehseelzhahpeet)." - I don't understand. Alternatively, they might hear this reply: "Du'ťma ye’ňesilžapit (doo'tyhmah yeh'nyehseelzhahpeet)." - I don't understand you. Well, it's a complicated question; what exactly is Prazkoy? Is it a beautiful land? Is it an oppressed country? Is it a militant society?

To be honest, we don't know what Prazkoy is, so we're leaving it as an experiment as we go along. What to expect when you get to Prazkoy? Well, not much. The people love football. The people eat and drink. The people have a crazy European accent, and their language sounds Czech-ish (but the Czechs will think that it's Polish - who know what the Poles will think). The people live normal lives. It's a small country, understandably, but there's no reason to doubt that this country doesn't have any culture - heck, if we could imagine it, we'd tell you.

Well, in the end, it's up the visitors to imagine what Prazkoy is. Perhaps it is better to describe what Prazkoy isn't...

Valanora Express
Another Sunrise

Well my friends, those two years since the Marauders took home third in the last World Cup have come and gone. Though the national team played in three more competitions between now and then, though it trully never was the full senior side, little has changed. Despite his failure to bring home a title to the nation liked he promised, Webber somehow convinced the high ranking officials inside the VSC to extend his contract through the end of the upcoming Proper. Personally, I think the VSC should of kicked his butt out of there and begged Titenburg to take the position, Elune knows the lad should of had it in the first place. The Vyintanese Defoe looks even a more promising international manager than Webber does right now. It is remarkable that he was retained after promising the victory and then the VSC going out of their way to make it easy for him by getting the hosting rights with a nation whose values completely contradict the ones that keep this Commonwealth going.

Domestically, Assegai and Turruth Gordur continue to waver in their local governments, and another collapse could be emminient, with ramications likely to ensue in the other nations of the Commonwealth should it occur. Looking at the sporting scene, the EHL continues to flounder and could be on the way of collapsing soo far that not even a stimulus package could revive it. Raynor City still remains the pillar of club football, and will be representing the country, along with AC Valanari, Hondo, and FC Capri, in an inagural Champions League type tournament to be hosted by the UCS. Following the four years of large amounts of transfers in and out of the Premiership, things seem to have stabalized with only a small amount of moves being made in the window thus far. Yet with the Baptism of Fire nearly completed in Starblaydia, and several clubs having scouts at the matches, an influx of young new talent could be on the way.

Moving once again to the national team, it looks very much the same, bar three small moves. The ineffective Mias makes way to a sturdy Hocn, whose time in Assegai and Cafundeu have seen the once fragile defender become a impressive show of stregnth and tackling. Ali Alidare finally makes waves in by taking the vacated central midfield spot from the retired Riot. As for Riot, he has announced that after the upcoming Premiership season, he will be retiring domestically and looking into getting into managing and or owning a team. Lastly the ever persistant Marl, recently married and with twins with Severus Snape, has paid her dues and moves from super sub to starting on the wing over Neesa. The energetic Assegain gets completely dropped from the roster as Ruby Claw takes her spot after an impecable showing at the Turtle Cup, where the squad finished a respectable third behind Jeruselem and runners up Cafundeu. The OFC also had another edition, and the squad made it to their third straight Final, but were ousted by a side from the UCS. Vak Xi and Elix Duria are the only two surprise showings on the roster, and it once again looks quite capable of pulling the strings to get to a title. This old reporter is starting to wonder if the rumors of an Audioslavic curse are true, or the perhaps the time for heroes is at hand at last.

Article by Ron Santapa

Carlos had come down to Mexico to secure some funding for the Illegal Immigrants travel and expense fund. He had arranged to meet with a well known drug lord named Luis Ortega. He never met Ortega before or really known much about him. He just knew that the drug lord would be tempted by a potential investment in a new area.

The small border town of Rojas had a cantina, a general store, some shacks, and little else. Mainly, it was the headquarters of Luis Ortega's drug empire. It was easy to get there from America. Ortega's headquarters was all underground in a vast tunnel complex. One tunnel went deep under the border and surfaced in a house in another small town in Arizona.

The cantina was filled with an average crowd. Carlos got a drink and looked around. He was supposed to meet with a contact in a sand-colored trench coat. He went downstairs to look and spotted the contact in a private, recessed booth. He casually walked over and sat down in the booth. "Carlos Ramirez?"
"Yes."
"Welcome to Rojas. I am--"
"Luiz Ortega?!?!"
"No. I am his associate. We will meet with him shortly." Carlos looked uneasy. "Please, enjoy your drink. We have some time."

Jeruselem Government News

Nun named as Jeruselem Assistant Coach

Jeruselem announced it's team for the World Cup today. A surprise inclusion is the little known Sister Marsha from the St Mary's Catholic Girls School whi was the coach of the winning Turtle Cup team. Other strange inclusions are two young girls - Kate and Jacinta Sallad (not Dallas).

One look at them, and you'd think it was Kate and Jacinta Dallas. No, they are the daughters of Mary Sallad who was in the Tour de Qazox 6. Both girls are big fans of the Dallas girls and make up for lack of Dallas girls in the team. There are none.

Jane Sanderson talked about her new assistant coach
"She's a funny person. She seems to have learnt all her football from watching TV. I know it's not the good way to learn coaching but she seems to a smart person despite her meek looks. Normally, we'd bring a priest around with us but we don't need to now with Sister Marsha being a Catholic Nun."

Kate Sallad replaces Jacinta Dallas as the co-host of THE FOOTBALL LIFE. Kara Kool commented
"I don't know. She looks like Kate Dallas. She acts like Kate Dallas. She just younger than the real thing. Even worse, they brought her sister Jacinta with her. I mean Jacinta Sallad isn't too different from the real thing as well."

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/acapais.png Acapais National Football Team press conference

Jessica: "Hello and welcome to today's press conference for the Acapais National Football Team. We are pleased all of you could make it this afternoon for this is the first press conference of the year for the national team. In a moment, Miss Stephanie Horne, Manager of the Acapais National Football Team, will present herself and give you information about this year's team campaigning to qualify for the next World Cup. It is requested however that you save your questions until the end of the announcements. Well, my watch says one o' clock so, without further ado, I would like to introduce to you the manager in Acapais National Football Team, Stephanie Horne!"

Light Applause

Horne: "Hello everyone. Thank you everyone for coming. My name is Stephanie and I will talk to you about the team that will be competing in this World Cup’s qualification and that are hopefully able to acquire enough points to travel to Starblaydia and Krytenia next summer. We are very excited for this is Acapais's sixth ever World Cup campaign. World Cup XL will be our next opportunity to bring home an international trophy. By competing in the World Cup, it will bring more spirit to the already proud citizens of Acapais. Having been eliminated from the previous World Cup was a bit of a let down however I am certain that we have a chance to finish high this time around.

"Now, because this is only our sixth World Cup Qualifying appearance, other countries expectations for Acapais are somewhat low. However, my expectations for the team are higher than one might expect. Acapais is a young and inexperienced team with much to learn, but I can say that this is a team with a lot of potential. As nation ranked 68, qualifying for the World Cup will be a difficult task. That does not mean, however, it is out of our reach. Qualifying group format is undecided as of now however there will be nations in this competition who rank 67 places above us. None of this means however that we cannot upset these higher ranked nations and take a spot.

"In this tournament we will play a defensive game to try to outlast these nations. With our youth we should be able to beat them as far as conditioning. Offensively we have pace with, Fronberry, Castro and Paroe. Our large goalkeeper is quick has a good coach. All players on the roster are familiar with each other because they all play in the Acapais Football League’s Gold Division. Some players even have club teammates the roster.

"Having said all of this, our goal, like the rest of the world, is simple; win the World Cup. Some of you might call me an optimist, but the members of the Acapan Football Association will do our best to bring home glory.

"Are there any questions?"

Points

Reporter 1: "What will be the best way to qualify for the World Cup successfully?"

Horne: "If we play a solid game and capitalize on our opponents mistakes there should be no reason why we can't win games. We have to study lots of tape, know their preferred feet, know their tendencies, but I am confident my players can handle it. Consistency is also important. Winning games here and there is OK but to perform well on a consistent basis is a difficult task I think we can adhere to. Yes?"

Points

Reporter 2: "Stephanie, How will you optimize the speed and skill of Paroe and Osman?"

Horne: "We are going to put them wide on the wing. Players with their pace and crossing abilities are optimized by sending them to the wings. These two players are raw talent. I am very excited to see what they can do for us this year."

Points

Reporter 3: "Will you expand on what you said about 'outlasting' you opponents?"

Horne: "Certainly. Since our team is very young we will have the ability to run at a fast pace for a longer period of time. I have faith that when we play possession football and good defense, we should be able to make our opponents fatigued. A tired opponent means more goal scoring opportunities for us."

Points

Reporter 4: "Because Acapais are ranked so low, what advantages and disadvantages do we have?"

Horne: "The disadvantages are that most of our players have only attempted to qualify for one World Cup or fewer and are therefore a bit inexperienced, and that we will more than likely get drawn into a very difficult group. However, there are many new nations entering the World Cup competition for the first time this year and therefore we should be able to take three points against these opponents."

Points

Reporter 5: "Why is Fronberry your captain of choice?"

Horne: "He has the most club experience for his team Highland Park FC than anyone else on the roster, and he is a natural leader. James knows how to get the best out of his players whether they are winning or losing."

Points

Reporter 6: "There is a lot of controversy surrounding the roster you chose. Tell us please why you went with such a young roster when there are clearly older and more experienced players that play in the AFL."

Horne: "Ah, I was wondering when someone was going to ask me that. The reason is because I want to build a young team for future World Cup competitions. If I put too many players that are over 30 years old on the roster, then they would only help us for World Cup Qualifying XL and retire by the next one four years later. By selecting young players I can ensure that the team will gain experience not only individually but grow together as a team. The Acapais Football Association is behind me one hundred percent on this issue."

Horne: "This concludes the press conference. Thank you all for coming."


-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Acapais RP Threads
Roster Thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13551336&postcount=29)

Halitk~ha~o Mijati~l was in the old city hall of KaMaRi city, which now is the administration building of the government of the nation of KaMaRi. The young citizen of the republic of Taeurikil was really nervous and it showed. Even though his skin was dark, he looked pale. He was wearing a beige suit with a tie with the comic character Nininin (a yellow kaskada-butterfly) on it. He was carrying a folder full of sheer evil (as he would put it): a large amount of forms which he filled out to the best of his knowledge. He had a cellphone in one of the pockets of his suit, which showed the name of a local phone company on its display even though every call he would make or receive would be roamed to Taeurikil. He tried to orient himself and found the bureau 702 where he had an appointment.

The clerk there was an elderly person, who somehow looked like a stereotypical rejistani first lentine: someone, whom you respect instinctively. The coach, Tahik I Ly, of the KaMaRian national team was in the room as well. "Hejida Halik~ha~o!" he greeted.

"Hejida hakim!" Halik~ha~o replied.

"Do you have the paperwork?" the clerk asked.

"Here." he replied, not feeling capable of longer words. He handed the folder to her.

She looked at it checking it closely. "Vee, this looks okay, but I need to check this with the computer, you know." she smiled.

Tahik was impatient as she typed the information into the small SIDEKHIR box. The xentiran striker was merely nervous, fearing some information wasn't correct.

Eventually, the clerk nodded and handed the xentiran a green envelope. "Congratulations, you are now a citizen of the republic of KaMaRi." Tahik congratulated as well: "Congrats on becoming citizen of the civilized world! Xan to see you soon for the city!" Halik~ha~o nodded, happily and still excited. Being a citizen of KaMari would mean that he could play in the rejistanian national team.

(Dancougar WC40 Roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13550415&postcount=26))

JAKE: This telecast is brought to you in high definition on DSPN-HD! (Voiceover during random clips.) Today on a special World Cup edition of College Gameday, we break down the roster that's just been released. Twenty-three players, five of whom return from professional sides overseas, all marching under Charles DuPont's banner. It's all here, on College Gameday... now! (Title screen and theme) Welcome to College Gameday, built by Construction Hut, thanks for joining us. Jake Matthews alongside Dee Torso and Dirk Spiceroad. Guys, World Cup 40 just around the bend, and the big news out of Black Wing camp came during that disastrous Turtle Cup. Charles DuPont, the former Sel Appan manager, signing on for a tour of duty.

DEE: Indeed, surprising, I think, because of the fact that he only has so much to build with. You look at the turnover, only five guys coming back from that last cup, and he's going to keep seeing that. Reteaching his game every few years, it's difficult to build a successful team like that.

DIRK: Ah, but it's not so much the players he's trying to develop so much as a style of play. He knows what kind of guys he wants, and as time goes on, the kids will get better. If he's patient, the players will catch up to him.

JAKE: Well, let's not waste any time and jump right into the roster. First up, the goalkeepers. Yuji Watanabe from the University of Fujiwara will be the starter, he gave up seven goals in fourteen Big East matches this year, the best mark in the nation.

DEE: And they didn't get a good draw in the tournament, either, had to play some pretty dangerous sides in Gilderome and Akasaka. And he kept his team in those games when the offense sputtered a bit. Watanabe's got pretty good reflexes, but has some trouble with high crosses. Teams can get around him if they pick their shot, like I said, weaker up high.

DIRK: Yeah, not what you'd expect, usually it's the low balls that cause problems. You look at the backups, now, Waverly and Tanaka, they give up more goals but they can make the clutch save. Both of their sides only finishing with one loss in their conference schedules, lots of ties, and that's a testament to their abilities. When the offense was gone, they stepped up and got points for their team.

DEE: But you have to give the start to Watanabe, who played much better in a tougher conference.

JAKE: Well, a goalkeeper is only as good as the line in front of him, and Dancougar will roll out three defenders in their starting lineup. Brandon Barclay returns from Pernetas in Cafundeu, he'll play alongside the big man, Musashi Yamada, and the speedy Evan Weatherford.

DEE: Nice to see Barclay come back, but it's been rough for him and the others overseas. Not seeing much more than reserve duty, but in a top league like Cafundeu, that'll keep you sharp. Barclay's a few years older, a few years wiser, I think he's seen more offenses and is better prepared. And he'll need to guide the young guys. Yamada was a sweeper at Fujiwara, he'll slide up and play center back for DuPont. He's a stopper, but he's got good acceleration, likes to break on the ball.

DIRK: Then you look at Weatherford, a sophomore out of Pembrooke, another tournament quarterfinalist. I was surprised to see him in the starting lineup after only one year of college ball, but with guys like Saotome and Hijikata on the bench, I can see what they're doing. They're going for speed and energy on defense. That was something that was lacking last time around. And you have to say that when you look at Hijikata being picked, the poor guy was broken apart at the Turtle Cup along with his Rizzi teammates, but he kept his motor running till the end of every game. That was a real learning experience for him, and he ought to share that with the guys to prepare them for this tournament.

JAKE: Midfield, now, and a lot of familiar faces in the starting lineup. Leading the troops once again will be Jericho Leyton, coming back from Elves Security Forces, playing for Everlin Snipers. DuPont's got him in more of an attacking role, and I think it suits him. What do you think, guys?

DIRK: Well, he's got excellent help around him, with Akira Morimoto and Benjamin Whittaker on the wings. Both of them are dead ball specialists. Whittaker showed off his stuff at the Turtle Cup, and his goal against Qazox was one of the few bright spots for the team. He was another guy who played hard, with a lot of heart. You get those two to distribute the ball inside, not only is Leyton going to get a few shots, but the forwards are going to get chances.

DEE: And one of the things DuPont wanted to do by having a lot of midfielders was to have flexibility. He's not entirely sure yet if it's offense or defense this squad is better at, so he has guys who can shift up and back as needed. Boris Boskov is one of those guys, he's back after a tour in the Han, and joining him in the defensive midfield is Kevin Underwood, another sophomore. Underwood was one of the guys that really powered Lunarossa into the quarterfinals of the spring tournament before they ran into the champs, Rizzi. Good ball control, he can threaten you with the long pass. But he's aggressive, too, he'll challenge for the ball on defense.

DIRK: Got to hope the ref keeps the card in his pocket, then.

DEE: (Laughs) Well, yeah, there is that.

DIRK: The big thing for me, looking at that midfield, is that there's a pretty good mix of experience and energy. And if something goes wrong, the bench is pretty solid - guys like Gallagher and Vistula who can play strong all over the field, and Ootawara is another one of those guys who always goes after the ball.

JAKE: Last up, the forwards. Two attackers for the Black Wings, and one of them is Hideo Ikeda, another export to Cafundeu. Ikeda led the team in scoring the last time around, but still received a fair amount of criticism when the team got shut down down the stretch. The hope is that he's honed his skills playing with the reserves at América, with the occasional first team appearance.

DEE: Well, we don't expect him to score in every match, but as long as he can consistently get in some shots, we can call him the man. Pressure on goal, that's what's going to lead for scores. You don't always have to get the goal, to get the goal.

DIRK: You're absolutely right, Dee, the problem was that he wasn't getting in quality chances. Now he's got some weapons around him, and also up front, the nation's top scorer, Shishio Jinguuji from the University of Shikibu. Eighteen goals this year, but pretty quiet in the tournament. I chalk that up to a bad game. I think he'll be fine. He's young. He'll learn from Ikeda and get some of that swagger back. Because let's be honest, he dominated the South Central Conference.

DEE: Yeah, although there is the concern that he hasn't faced enough quality competition and succeeded. But the two guys on the bench, Wellesley and Furuya, they had deep tournament runs and both scored in double digits. I feel like the Wings have more options this time around, but of course, we'll wait and see.

JAKE: And wait we shall. The group draw for qualifying is later this week, and we'll have complete coverage of that here on DSPN. As always, you can get more news and notes online, go to DSPN.dan, keyword "College Gameday." That'll do it for us, I'm Jake Matthews saying goodnight.

Blimey-o-flip there's a shock. Jose Cazarez has announced his retirement from international football at the age of 31 'to let the new players in'.

They are only four years younger, but that's two World Cup cycles under Kura-Pelland's current time-dilation rules - which changed in line with Vephrall's - and while Cazarez is believed to have more in him, the white-hot form of several Kura-Pellandi strikers in domestic league action is believed to have been decisive. Fedde Beattis, a more recent Cafundelense buy, is the same age but is hanging on for now. He will face an almighty battle to keep his place from the young prodigy Norbert Fiero and 27-goal Chris Chenoweth, not to mention Justin Urquhart and Daniel Dillimer who also scored for fun in the Corganen Championship this season.

Giant striker Andy Madden and veteran defender Massimo Caparelli have both announced their international retirements as well, so it's a bit of a time of change for Kura-Pelland, with just three outfield players in the squad over 28 and two teenagers, Fiero and Liam Marling. Marling is expected to start, despite having played a season for relegated Achorpe Rovers; he was about the only source of light in that team when it came to attacking credentials. Stephen Hill is impregnable in goal for now of course, and in his position 31 isn't old; Bo Phelps is expected to play on the left, but the presence of Harry Burton means his freer role as a sweeper is viable also; however, most think Phelps would be ideal for bombing down the left with Dennis Rukovich, Depor's revelation this season, doing the same on the right.

While the formation of choice is a 4-4-2, there's plenty of room for versatility, especially with Iain Belling happy to play anywhere in midfield and Marling more than happy to cut inside from the left as well. No genuine right midfielder is a big shock though, but Danny Ibbetson's rejection from United Trilan and the team's subsequent miracle run probably has something to do with that, and the only other real choices are Portland from Bargoiten and Gore from the Wolves, neither of whom are frankly good enough for a top-32 national team.

KERECA IN THE WORLD CUP!?

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you read that correctly. The kingdom of Kereca may still be in its infancy, but we now have a national football side to root for. The Kereca Footballing Association announced today that our humble island nation will be represented in the upcoming fortieth edition of the Football World Cup. The news came as a bit of a shock to football fans across the nation. When the KFA was founded just over a year ago to organize the Kereca City Football League, they stated it would be at least two World Cups before Kerecans would see international competition. Nevertheless, KFA President Jack Dana spoke today about Kereca's entry in an official statement released to the press.

"There's no doubt that football in Kereca has come a long way in the past three years, much farther than we could have ever expected. After speaking with a number of players, managers, sponsors, and fans, the KFA believes we are ready to send a national side to compete for the World Cup."

Today is an exciting day for football in Kereca, however, many details remain unclear regarding the national team. It is unknown what players will represent Kereca, who will manage them, and even where the team will play their home games. The latter seems to be the foremost issue at hand. Currently, the largest "stadium" in Kereca is Wise Field, on the campus of Kereca University, with a capacity of around 1,000 patrons. Whatever stadium is selected to host World Cup qualifying matches will most likely need a major overhaul. The team could potentially play in front of crowds of 90,000+ in stadiums in larger footballing nations, depending on what national sides the Kerecans are drawn against.

KERECA FOOTBALL AT A GLANCE

Football in Kereca began just a year after the nation of Kereca was founded. The first football game in Kereca was contested by Eckert Preparatory School and Schechter Park in Year 1. Eckert Prep was victorious in the historic match, 4-nil. At the present, there are two factions of Kerecan football - the KFA (Eckert Prep, Schechter Park, Athletic, Kereca University, and Gansby Public School) and the Western Kereca League, consisting of Western FC, Kingston Town, West End Public School, and Basley Brewery FC. Both organizations are in their first year of existence. The nation's oldest football competition is the Nationwide Cup, in which all clubs across the country compete for a trophy sponsored by King David I, Supreme Ruler of Kereca. Also, Kerecan football is notable for being entirely composed of amateur players.

THE ROCKET REPORT

REALITY CHECK: ROCKETS DEBUT WITH 81 RANKING

By: Meghan Traynor, Pocono City Sports Network

Pocono City, Newmanistan- The World Cup Committee recently released the updated rankings for the upcoming World Cup, and it is the first time that the Empire has been included in such rankings. On the heels of the fantastic Baptism of Fire championship, Newmanistan has been rated in a 3-way tie for 81st in the world, with 2.86 ranking points.

As much as we hate to admit this, the ranking should serve as a reality check for all of us, especially those of us who think the Rockets will be able to do the same thing in the World Cup as they did in the Di Bradini Cup and the Baptism of Fire. While they represented two great rides for our footballing heroes, this ranking reminds us all of where Newmanistan stands in the world. In contrast to Newmanistan’s 2.86 points, the top rated team, Capitalizt SLANI has 51.64 points. The 32nd rated team, bearing in mind that 32 teams qualify, has 20.20 points. Fans, it’s a long road. I hope you taped the Baptism of Fire games, because you may need them after watching what may be some painful games to watch against some of these elite teams.

Some readers have written to me, telling me that us in the general media of the Empire, need to stop being such damn pessimists about our chances of qualification. Several fans have pointed out that the team destroyed Jeruselem (rated #13) in the Di Bradini Cup, beat Sorthern Northland (rated #27) twice, and Daehanjeiguk (rated #26) once in the same tournament. Folks who share that thought, be prepared for a letdown. There is a big difference between the junior and senior sides of these nations. In particular, the Jeruselem win is even more totally irrelevant then the other wins because it was against a “trial team of monks”. Perhaps in time, our future can compete with the likes of these nations, but not now. I know it’s hard for some of us to understand. Other fans write to me and say things to the effect of, “We’ve done well, so how much better can these other teams really be.” Well, I hate to say it, folks, but they are a lot better. If you matched up Sorthern Northland against the 27th BoF XI all-star team, Sorthern Northland would dominate the match.

A big difference in what the teams at the top have, and the Rockets is the simple fact that they have been through this before, and some of these nations have tons of experience. Experience wasn’t an issue with the Baptism of Fire for obvious reasons, and not really much of an issue in the Di Bradini Cup either, due to the average ages of the players involved. Don’t underestimate what experience alone can do in a tournament like this. A lot of the players natural talents may be similar, but it is the knowledge that these teams have, having been through this before, that will make them a step quicker on the pitch, as well as much wiser, being able to anticipate plays before they happen. For Newmanistan to be successful, they must earn their stripes and become experienced. That will mean some tough early results, but as the old cliche goes, what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger. The best thing for Newmanistan to do is to learn from these top ranked teams. Not in how to play football. It’s the same game everywhere, we know how to play it, but to learn how they do the little things, because they will be the difference makers in the matches we compete in.

Enjoy the World Cup qualifying efforts, then the World Cup itself. Perhaps, Newmanistan will qualify for the Cup of Harmony. But do so as a fan of the game, and be proud that the Empire is now competing against these powerhouses. One day, we will have some glorious moments to speak of. And when they happen, you want to be able to say, as a fan, that you were there when it all it started, through all the growing pains.

Press Conference held for no apparent reason by the SNFA

Reporter: So why exactly are we here? Is there some big announcement the SNFA would like to make?

SNFA Spokesman: Well not really, you know? The squads due to be announced tomorrow, I don't know what it is, that's the managers job, it's his decision.

Reporter: So there's no reason for this press conference?

SNFA Spokesman: Well it gives you guys a chance to ask us some questions you know?

Reporter: So what are Sorthern Northland's aims for the coming World Cup?

SNFA Spokesman: I'm just a spokesman you know? I don't make those decisions, you'll have to ask Kevaughn.

Reporter: He's not here!

SNFA Spokesman: Well you'll have to ask him tomorrow at the announcement of the squad then.

Suddenly a man dressed in camouflage gear bursts into the room enthusiastically lobbing a few cheap imitation smoke grenades around and wielding a water gun.

"THIS IS A SIEGE!!!"

SNFA Spokesman: "Er you there? Can I help you?"

Camouflage guy: "Ah yes, are you in charge here?"

SNFA Spokesman: "No this guy sitting next to me is in charge of the SNFA."

Camouflage guy: "Ah well, Mr?"

SNFA Director: "Jones."

Camouflage guy: "Ah Mr Jones, pleasure to meet you, as previously mentioned this is a siege! Well it's a coup really but "This is a siege!" sounds more exciting doesn't it?"

Mr Jones: "Yes it does."

Camouflage guy: "Right well as you can see I am heavily trained in the military and this water gun is loaded so you have three choices. Either I shoot and take the SNFA by force, or you can put me in charge and walk out the door."

Mr Jones: "And the fourth option?"

Camouflage guy: "Third you mean? We go down to the pub and have a drinking contest. Winner gets control of the SNFA."

Mr Jones: "TO THE PUB! Oh what's your name by the way?"

Camouflage guy: "I am Major General Dick O'Reilly. Oh and you press lot wait it, for I have an important announcement when I get back."

Dick O'Reilly and Mr Jones then leave the room and head to the pub, many hours later....

Mr Jones: "Well *hic*, Dick I gotsha hands it too yoush. Your a better drinker than me. *hic*."

Major General: "So we're agreed then, you leave town and I am the new Director of the SNFA?"

Mr Jones: "Yesh, yoush beat me fair and square, Sorthern Law dictatesh that if a man loshes a drinking contest he musht award the winner the prizshe that wash agreed at the start."

Back at the press conference where the press have patiently waited for almost 53 hours.

Major General: "Ah excellent you all waited, good good. Well I would like to read out the following announcement. Ahem...

Sorthern Northland Football Association

The Provisional Military Junta of the Sorthern Northland Football Association,

To football fans of Sorthern Northland,

Sorthernmen and Sorthernwomen, in the name of Margaret and of the numerous rubber chickens that she receives, the Sorthern Northland Armed Forces, through us, summons her solders to her football and strikes for it's glory.

Having organised and trained my manhood through my secret revolutionary organisation, the Sorthern Military Football Brotherhood, and through my open military organisations, me, having failed in an attempted coup of the goverment, having resolutely waited for the right moment to reveal itself, she now seizes that moment, and, supported by her exiled children in Sesquipedant- that other drunk country and by gallant allies in An Blascaod Mor, but relying in the first on my own strength, I strike in full confidence of victory.

I declare the right of the military of Sorthern Northland to the ownership of Sorthern Northland Football Association, and to the unfettered control of Sorthern footballers, to be proud and militaristic. The long usurpation of that right by a foreign people and government has not extinguished the right, nor can it ever be extinguished except by the destruction of the Sorthern military. In this generation the Sorthern military have asserted their right to control of the national football team: zero times during the past three hundred years they have asserted it in arms. Standing on that fundamental right and again asserting it in arms in the face of the world, we hereby proclaim the Armed Forces of Sorthern Northland as a as the rightful controllers of Association Football in Sorthern Northland, and we pledge our lives and the lives of our comrades-in-arms to the cause of its freedom, of its welfare, and its exaltation among the World Cup Committee.

The Armed Forces of Sorthern Northland is entitled to, and hereby claims, the allegiance of every Sorthernman and Sorthernwoman. The Military Junta by no means guarantees religious and civil liberty, equal rights and equal opportunities to all its footballers, and does not declares its resolve to pursue the happiness and prosperity of the whole nation and of all its parts, cherishing all the children of the nation equally, and not oblivious of the differences carefully fostered by an alien government, which have divided a minority from the majority in the past.

Until our arms have brought the opportune moment for the establishment of a permanent Sorthern Northland Military Football Association, representative of the whole footballing community of Sorthern Northland and chosen by the suffrages of an angry military general, the Provisional Military Junta of the Sorthern Northland Football Association, hereby constituted, will administer the footballing and military affairs of the SNFA in trust for the fans and players.

We place the cause of the Sorthern Northland Military Football Association under the protection of the Blessed Margaret, Whose blessing we invoke upon our arms, and we pray that no one who serves that cause will dishonour it by cowardice, inhumanity, or rapine. In this supreme hour the Sorthern nation must, by its valour and discipline and by the readiness of its children to sacrifice themselves for the common good, prove itself worthy of taking the World Cup through the means of military warfare.

Signed on behalf of the Provisional Military Junta of the Sorthern Northland Football Association,

Major General Dick O'Reilly

That is all, thank you."

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/JMC-1.png

JMC are proud to announce a return to tradition for Krytenia's World Cup 40 kits.

Cyan. Red. Classic.

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/KRY40.png

Pack your bags, buy your shirts, and inflate your llamas - Krytenia are going to the World Cup!

Thanks to the miracle of hosting, the Cyan Army will be singing at the finals once again - the first time in twenty-eight years that they wil do so. They will be joined by neighbours, friends, and rivals Starblaydia.

One question remains: Who will join them?

Thirty places remain to be filled, and fifteen groups will decide them. We here at thsd:NEWS will be there with all the reaction.

World Cup Qualifying Draw, Jhanna, 10pm KST.

A 'select' band of internationally-recognisable football figures, national leaders and random invited and uninvited officials alike sit in an exquisitely-decorated auditorium in Starblaydia's capital city. Basically, anyone from any nation who's turned up and blagged their way in is sitting there, in various degrees of disorder,

Lex Panarii, a forty-three year-old former Starblaydi international midfielder with thirty-three caps and two goals to his name peeps out through the stage's thick purple curtain to the crowd outside, They're getting rowdy... rowdier... and Lex needs the loo. Quickly running into the Ladies to relieve himself, he steps back out onto the stage - to little or no applause - and begins to read the autocue.

"It's... just gone 10pm here in Starblaydia, for the most-anticipated football event in years. Invited guests from around the world are here for just one thing..."

Water pistols. At least that's what Sorthern Northland Major General Dick O'Rielly was there for. He proceeded to squirt water at Empress Boston of Bostopia, insult the Emperor, and wave the gun in the direction of Asanta Webber from Valanora.

"Bloody hell," Asanta muttered, "why did the VSC pick me! I'm supposed to be with my club preparing for the season ahead, but no, they say go to the draw or lose your effin job, bastards."

This didn't stop Major General O'Reilly from attempting to storm the stage, but Lex quickly spotted him and waved security over to disarm the General and return him to heis seat, under a cacophony of swear words. 'Feck', 'Drink', 'Girls', and 'Arse' among them.

"And now..." Lex said a little louder, "Live from the Praetoran Palace, official residence of the Lord-Protector of Starblaydia, in Jhanna, the captial city of Starblaydia, the World Cup Committee, and Starblaydi Football Association and Krytenian Football Association present: the Qualifying Draw for the Fortieth World Cup! Brought to you by our good friends at Samseong Electronics and Orcinus, with assistance from JMC "Be Free JMC" and Seongyeong Gas. the first thing to do is tell you all how this is going to work.

"The ninety teams will be split into six seeded pots, of fifteen teams each. One team will be drawn per Pot for each of the fifteen groups, so each pot contains a first seed, second seed, etc, down to the sixth seed.

"And now, without further ado, the Pots:

"In Pot One, it's the'"Who's Who" of World football, the fifteen top-ranked teams in the world: Capitalizt SLANI, Milchama, Valanora, Squornshelous, Az-cz, Bettia, Cafundéu, Tynelia, Demot, Zwangzug, Sel Appa, Jeruselem, Ad’ihan, Northern Bettia and Casari. That list, of course, did not include World Cup founders and fourth-in-the-world Ariddia, who have chosen not to participate in this milestone tournament.

"On to Pot Two, the "Oh, it's them" of the international game: Quakmybush, The Holy Empire, Wentland, Yafor 2, Bazalonia, Candelaria And Marquez, Bostopia, Vephrall, Daehanjeiguk, Sorthern Northland, Novapsolu, Kura-Pelland, Qazox, The Archregimancy and Jasi... Jazzy, Juicy... JSY.

"Making up Pot Three, the has-beens and newish-boys of: Dance 2 Revolution, Lovisa, Jeru FC, Scotchpinestan, Prux, Taeshan, Kelssek, The Pazhujeb Islands, Yafalonia and Bazor 2, Dancougar, Rejistania, Hopeless SC, Nire and Nire, Solenial and Jariss

"Pot Four, now we start to see the Baptism of Fire entrants: Green wombat, Magnus Valerius, Beer Served Here, Kiryu-shi, Blouman Empire, Acapais, Fujisawan Territories, Gweridijongya, Naboombu Umbongo, Uiri, Newmanistan, Kose and the Turkomans, East Antairees, Terreiro de Ogum and Kalmykstan

"The make-up of Pot Five, where Football Management games fear to tread, is as follows: Nethertopia, Sesquipedalianist, Wijaska Island, Septentrionia, Pantocratoria, Eighthgraderistan, Ruskastan, Kosovoe, Aqua Teen Hungerland, Aleos, New Cimeran, Sarejavo, Agroprom, Krasslor and Diojiu

"And, finally, Pot Six. Not so much the "Who's Who", but the "Who's that?" of World Football: The Daleks 2, Engbec, Abaio, Hopeful SC, Hryvina, Iansisle, Kereca, Kolanderaz, Legalese, Lethislavania, Lithima, NS Illegal Immigrants, Okuni, Prazkoy and Rennidan. Now for the Groups themselves!

Group One: Casari (16), Daehanjeiguk (26), Jariss (59), Magnus Valerius (61), Sarejavo (154) and Engbec (167)
Group Two: Cafundéu (8), Quakmybush (17), Dancougar (52), Gweridijongya (73), Krasslor (160) and Hopeful SC (173)
Group Three: Bettia (7), Candelaria And Marquez (22), Lovisa (38), East Antairees (88), Septentrionia (106) and NS Illegal Immigrants (173)
Group Four: Squornshelous (5), The Archregimancy (32), The Pazhujeb Islands (49), Beer Served Here (62), Diojiu (162), Kolanderaz (173)
Group Five: Valanora (3), Bostopia (24), Solenial (58), Blouman Empire (64), Agroprom (157) and Prazkoy (173)

"A third of the way through, and we have a few interesting match-ups. Betta/C&M, Valanora/Bostopia and The Archregimancy with Jaime Oberlander's Pazhujeb Islands side.

"And on to the next batch..."
Group Six: Tynelia (9), Bazalonia (21), Rejistania (53), Kose and the Turkomans (85), Wijaska Island (103) and Legalese (173)
Group Seven: Zwangzug (10), Vephrall (25), Yafalonia and Bazor 2 (50), Uiri (76), Pantocratoria (109) and Lethislavania (173)
Group Eight: Jeruselem (13), Novapsolu (28), Dance 2 Revolution (34), Kalmykstan (94), Sesquipedalianist (102) and Abaio (169)
Group Nine: Ad’ihan (14), Wentland (19), Prux (42), Kiryu-shi (63), Ruskastan (115) and Hryvina (173)
Group Ten: Northern Bettia (15), Yafor 2 (20), Taeshan (43), Fujisawan Territories (72), Aqua Teen Hungerland (142) and Kereca (173)

"Baptism of Fire Runners-Up against the four-time World Champions of Rejistania, with Bazalopes and Legalites thrown in too, while Vephrall/Zwangzug should also provide some extra interest. Ever onwards...

Group Eleven: Milchama (2), Kura-Pelland (29), Kelssek (48), Newmanistan (81), Eighthgraderistan (111) and Lithima (173)
Group Twelve: Sel Appa (12), The Holy Empire (18), Nire and Nire (57), Acapais (68), New Cimeran (154) and The Daleks 2 (162)
Group Thirteen: Az-cz (6), Qazox (31), Scotchpinestan (41), Green wombat (60), Nethertopia (97) snd Iansisle (173)
Group Fourteen: Demot (10), JSY (33), Hopeless SC (55), Naboombu Umbongo (75), Aleos (151) and Okuni (173)

"Which leaves... the World Number One, I would hope, in the final group along with..."
Group Fifteen: Capitalizt SLANI (1), Sorthern Northland (27), Jeru FC (39), Terreiro de Ogum (91), Kosovoe (124) and Rennidan (173)

"That concludes the World Cup Qualifying Draw!"







OOC: Please continue your RPing in the World Cup 40 RP Thread, which you can find here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=552797).