NationStates Jolt Archive

In an attempt to endear his nation to the rest of the world, corrupt MacCountry dictator Vladimir McHugh announces the following event:

"I, Vladimir McHugh, righteous leader of the great nation of MacCountry, announce that we will hold the world's first Llama Paintball Championship. The first 16 nations to volunteer will contest this sporting event, which is the national pastime of MacCountry. It consists of two teams of eight, each team protecting a llama in a white poncho. It is their task to "decorate" the opposing team's llama with as much paint as possible before theirs is coated in paint. The Vlad McHugh Trophy will be awarded to the team who wins the tournament. It is the hope that this national pastime may become an international one, where all the nations of the world may enjoy shooting llamas in a colourful, non-lethal manner. Please wire your requests to enter to me personally, as I do not trust the 80% of my party. I thank you, and as the old saying goes, 'May your llama be white and paintless'!"

-El Presidente, 9 / 3 /08

Bostopia, a nation with a great love of Llamas, is appaled by this glorification of the shooting of Llamas, for sport or other means, non-lethal or not. Perhaps you would like to shoot other creatures, such as foxes instead.

Your suggestion has been duly noted. Perhaps our native pastimes are a tad barabaric - the following is a shortlist of potentially shootable animals :sniper::

- The woodlouse (too small?)
- The fox (too fast?)
- The elephant (too easy?)
- The heroin addict (too heroin-addicted?)

Make of it what you will. The tournament will be altered accordingly.


-El Presidente

We agree! The people of Sesquipedalianist are shocked no appalled at the fact that one could think of shooting such a fine, magnificent, omnipotent animal such as the llama. Of course we couldn't give a stuff what you do in your own country we just felt like having our voices heard.

Despite being more of a donkey nation (A war over whether donkeys or llamas are better once went on between SN and Sesquipedalianist, in fact it's still unresolved) and having to agree with a nation such as Bostopia, we find it distasteful that a sport such as shooting llamas be bought to the international stage.

Therefore we other three solutions helpfully labelled A, B and C.

A) Use right wing, imperialist nutjobs instead of llamas.
B) You are more than welcome to have this event in the Sorthern town of Swinedon, you may shoot anything there.
C) Ignore us.

The rightwing imperialist nutjobs idea appeals to us...All potential entrants must supply their own nutjobs though.

P.S The President would like to make clear the circumstances behind the llama paintball customs of our nation. We adore the mighty llama (if you visit our country you will see that the "frolic in our many forests"). We do NOT partake in paintball to harm the llama - anyone taking part who hits the llama in the face is put to death - and we merely do so to mark its aceness in a sporting, fair way. We thank you for listening, and hope you consider our humble offer. There'll be cookies in it for you :)

The Illegal Sky Blue Party of Benelux - also known as the right-wing imperialistic nutjob party - is appalled by the use of our fellow right-wing imperialistic nutjobs. Perhaps you could shoot sheeps before you sheer them and using real dyes as opposed to paint so that you may create colourful wool clothing for the rich who can buy - or the needy if you lefties with welfare and public education really want to - that way you make something useful and it can help fund the event.

The Illegal Sky Blue Party
The Sky is the limit on how Right-Wing and Imperialist you can be.

Ya can't win!! :mad:

Let's just have a Paintball Championships, 'kay? Humans vs. Humans, the old-fashioned way. El Presidente has spoken.

The Grand Democratic Duchy finds all these nations trying to enforce their own policies onto those of MacCountry very distasteful. Let this Llama Paintball Championship continue! Or at least, use woodlice/foxes/elephants/heroin addicts.

Despite being more of a donkey nation (A war over whether donkeys or llamas are better once went on between SN and Sesquipedalianist, in fact it's still unresolved)


So it was you we had that war with. WE we sure it was Beiginis....but we could be wrong our scribes aren't exactly accurate...

It is the considered opinion of the Holy Synod of the Archregimancy that there is nothing heretical about the proposed World Llama Painting Championship, and that it should be allowed to continue as originally proposed.

Paintball is a non-lethal sport, and the llamas are to be covered in a white poncho which shall, presumably, offer further protection to the llama (beyond that offered by the llama's natural fur) from any potential stinging at the moment of impact. Provided that the llamas are also provided with protective goggles, we see no chance of harm happening to the llamas involved.

As none of God's creatures are to be harmed, we have no ecclesiastical objection to the tournament, see no reason to condemn it as un-Orthodox, and urge the organisers to proceed as planned.

Alas, the Archregimancy will not be entering the tournament as we have no llamas in our nation.

Do not worry about a llama shortage, competitors without their own llamas can rent ours for a special knockdown price of...nothing.

Places Are Still Available for the World Paintball Tournament - Post your applications now - and "let your llamas be white and paintless!"

We are interested in sending a contingent but we would like to know more about the rules that will be in effect before we commit.

The nation of Bushdome is very excited about this new "sport" we wish to enter the compotition. When is it due to take place?

The federation of Nethertopia will send in their best paintball team, which are also the Nethertopian Corps Commandos Service (NCCS), our special forces unit. We'd like to know how many paintballers will have to be sent in and also like to rent a llama.

Sorry for the delay, I had to wash my hair and wipe out the indiginous people of our nation.

The proposed date for the tournament will be April 23 and will run for the week. The tournament will break down like this:

GROUP STAGE
DAY 1:
Match 1 Team A v Team B

DAY 2:
Match 2 Team C v Team D

DAY 3:
Match 3 Team E v Team F

DAY 4:
Match 4 Team G v Team H

SEMI FINALS
DAY 5:
Semi-Final 1 Winner Match 1 v Winner Match 3

DAY 6:
Semi-Final 2 Winner Match 2 v Winner Match 4

FINAL
DAY 7:
Winner Semi-Final 1 v Winner Semi-Final 2




More posts will confirm rules and other important elements.

CURRENT COMPETITORS -
- MacCountry
- Nethertopia
- Bushdome
- Scotchpinestan (unconfirmed)