NationStates Jolt Archive

CONGRATULATIONS TO JERUSELEM!

http://www.preciouspebbles.com/images/Bronze_Turtle_A.jpg

Post all IC stuff here. Post OOC stuff here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=550498) unless it really makes more sense here. I'll be RPing too, but will not be counting my RPs. If I am in the final, I will have someone else scorinate it...unless you're all fine with me doing it. Scorinator will be announced tomorrow or so. Top 4 go on to second group. Top two go on to final.

(Tiebreakers: Head-to-Head; Wins; GF; GD; GA)
Travel Guide (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/travel_in_sel_appa.html)

Matchday 1
Valanora 2-1 Dancougar (Anila City Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/anila_city_stadium.html))
Cafundeu 2-1 Taeshan (Grand Archduke Kirby I Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/grand_archduke_kirby_i_stadium.html))
Sel Appa 2-1 Lovisa (Turtle Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/turtle_stadium.html))
Jeruselem 2-0 Qazox (NativeZone (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/nativezone.html))
Starblaydia 2-3 Sorthern Northland (Real Field (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/real_field.html))

Matchday 2
Sel Appa 1-4 Valanora (Real Field (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/real_field.html))
Dancougar 0-5 Cafundeu (Anila City Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/anila_city_stadium.html))
Taeshan 0-1 Jeruselem (Grand Archduke Kirby I Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/grand_archduke_kirby_i_stadium.html))
Lovisa 1-2 Starblaydia (Turtle Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/turtle_stadium.html))
Qazox 2-3 Sorthern Northland (NativeZone (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/nativezone.html))

Matchday 3
Valanora 0-0 Starblaydia (NativeZone (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/nativezone.html))
Cafundeu 3-2 Jeruselem (Real Field (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/real_field.html))
Sel Appa 7-0 Dancougar (Anila City Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/anila_city_stadium.html))
Sorthern Northland 1-2 Taeshan (Grand Archduke Kirby I Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/grand_archduke_kirby_i_stadium.html))
Qazox 2-1 Lovisa (Turtle Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/turtle_stadium.html))

Matchday 4
Qazox 3-3 Valanora (Turtle Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/turtle_stadium.html))
Sorthern Northland 1-4 Cafundeu (NativeZone (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/nativezone.html))
Starblaydia 3-4 Sel Appa (Real Field (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/real_field.html))
Dancougar 0-2 Jeruselem (Anila City Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/anila_city_stadium.html))
Taeshan 1-3 Lovisa (Grand Archduke Kirby I Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/grand_archduke_kirby_i_stadium.html))

Matchday 5
Valanora 6-1 Taeshan (Grand Archduke Kirby I Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/grand_archduke_kirby_i_stadium.html))
Cafundeu 3-0 Lovisa (Turtle Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/turtle_stadium.html))
Sel Appa 4-1 Qazox (NativeZone (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/nativezone.html))
Jeruselem 1-1 Sorthern Northland (Real Field (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/real_field.html))
Starblaydia 1-1 Dancougar (Anila City Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/anila_city_stadium.html))

Matchday 6
Cafundeu 3-3 Valanora (Anila City Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/anila_city_stadium.html))
Taeshan 0-5 Sel Appa (Grand Archduke Kirby I Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/grand_archduke_kirby_i_stadium.html))
Lovisa 0-3 Jeruselem (Turtle Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/turtle_stadium.html))
Qazox 0-2 Starblaydia (NativeZone (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/nativezone.html))
Dancougar vs. Sorthern Northland* (Real Field (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/real_field.html))
*Match forfeited by Sorthern Northland and awarded to Dancougar

Matchday 7
Valanora 3-0 Jeruselem (Real Field (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/real_field.html))
Cafundeu 1-3 Sel Appa (Anila City Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/anila_city_stadium.html))
Starblaydia 1-1 Taeshan (Grand Archduke Kirby I Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/grand_archduke_kirby_i_stadium.html))
Sorthern Northland 2-1 Lovisa (Turtle Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/turtle_stadium.html))
Qazox 0-2 Dancougar (NativeZone (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/nativezone.html))

Matchday 8
Sorthern Northland 2-1 Valanora (NativeZone (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/nativezone.html))
Starblaydia 1-4 Cafundeu (Real Field (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/real_field.html))
Jeruselem 2-0 Sel Appa (Anila City Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/anila_city_stadium.html))
Taeshan 1-1 Qazox (Grand Archduke Kirby I Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/grand_archduke_kirby_i_stadium.html))
Dancougar 0-0 Lovisa (Turtle Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/turtle_stadium.html))

Matchday 9
Valanora 4-0 Lovisa (Turtle Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/turtle_stadium.html))
Cafundeu 0-0 Qazox (NativeZone (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/nativezone.html))
Sel Appa 2-0 Sorthern Northland (Real Field (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/real_field.html))
Jeruselem 2-0 Starblaydia (Anila City Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/anila_city_stadium.html))
Taeshan 1-1 Dancougar (Grand Archduke Kirby I Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/grand_archduke_kirby_i_stadium.html))

Matchday A
Sel Appa 3-4 Valanora (Turtle Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/turtle_stadium.html))
Cafundeu 0-0 Jeruselem (Anila City Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/anila_city_stadium.html))

Matchday B
Jeruselem 3-1 Valanora (NativeZone (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/nativezone.html))
Sel Appa 2-4 Cafundeu (Grand Archduke Kirby I Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/grand_archduke_kirby_i_stadium.html))

Matchday C
Valanora 0-0 Cafundeu (Roflcoptre Dome (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/roflcoptre_dome.html))
Jeruselem 3-2 Sel Appa (Real Field (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/real_field.html))

Final
Cafundeu 3-4 Jeruselem (Turtle Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/turtle_stadium.html))

Teams
Valanora (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13503103&postcount=7) 3
Cafundeu (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13506765&postcount=11) 8
Sel Appa (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13502329&postcount=2) 12
Jeruselem (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13502355&postcount=3) 13
Starblaydia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13504156&postcount=8) 27
Sorthern Northland (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13502888&postcount=6) 28
Qazox (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13502391&postcount=4) 31
Lovisa (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13510983&postcount=25) 38
Taeshan (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13504777&postcount=9) 43
Dancougar (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13502836&postcount=5) 46

Schedule
MD1: 7 March
MD2: 8
MD3: 10
MD4: 11
MD5: 12
MD6: 13
MD7: 14
MD8: 15
MD9: 16
MDA: 17
MDB: 18
MDC: 19
Final: 20

Cup Sponsors:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v495/juvanya/up.png
Bringing clean, quality energy to Sel Appa.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v495/juvanya/turtleade.png

United Bronzeworkers and Coppersmiths of Sel Appa
The finest bronze and copper in the world.

Sel Appa National Football Team
The Turtles / Les Tortues
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v495/juvanya/ffsa_logo4.png

FFSA President: Sharon Eiboln
Coach: Estevez

Goalkeepers:
24 Mongke BOKEGALBAATAR
25 Anastasia VADOV

Defense:
26 Karli RENGEL
39 Angus KAHN
40 Sid PLANK
41 Ashley SEAL
42 Nara BURTON

Midfielders:
31 Natalie DUBROV
32 Dzheighcymn GHOTIOLO
34 Mish VASOU
43 Nathan KOLTS
44 Hannah BARI
45 Bill Schmidt

Strikers:
35 Karl GEPARDO
38 Klarence MORREAU
46 Lenny NKUMA
47 Flavio TARTARUGA
48 Karisi KOPEL

Format: 2-3-5

Gepardo Nkuma
Tartaruga Morreau Kopel

Ghotiolo
Kolts Vasou

Plank Burton

|Bokegalbaatar|


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v495/juvanya/sa_uniforms.png

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers Y
Godmod Scoring Events N
RP injuries to my players Y
Godmod injuries to my players Y, nothing major
Hand out Yellow cards to my players Y
Hand out Red cards to my players N
Godmod Other Events Y

Style mod: +5

Bios:
Coach Estevez is a World Cup veteran who is a former forward for the team from World Cups 30 to 36. He scored almost half of the goals for the team and was its captain. Estevez replaces Ten-Cup coach Charles DuPont, who resigned amid Sel Appa's failure to qualify for the 39th World Cup. Estevez brings on-pitch experience and credibility to the team, as well as new ideas.

GK Mongke Bokegalbaatar is one of the new recruits for Sel Appa's national team. He is a huge 155kg behemoth that can easily stop a ball dead in its tracks with his large, meaty hands. He does not wear gloves, finding them uncomfortable. Despite being so large, he is quite nimble and can easily get from one goalpost to the other.

GK Anastasia Vadov is a well-known female goalkeeper. She claims to have the longest armspan in the nation, which will make her an excellent substitute.

DF Karli Rengel is considered one of the best defenders in Sel Appa. She was quickly chosen as soon as females were allowed on the team because of her skill. Her quick-thinking mind will enable a solid defense that should stop many attacks in their tracks.

DF Angus KAHN is a strong and able defender cut from the same cloth as Mongke Bokegalbaatar. Although, not quite as large, Kahn still has the mass and strength to make a capable defenseman.

DF Sid PLANK is a lesser-known footballer from the deep interior of Sel Appa. Nevertheless, he is a remarkable defender with fast, but accurate legs that ensure that the ball is sent back to where it came from (unless it come from the Sel Appan goal).

DF Ashley SEAL

DF Nara BURTON

MF Natalie Dubrov is the daughter of former striker Alan Dubrov. She takes much after her father, especially her love of football. She works hard to ensure swift connections from the defense to the offense.

MF Dzheighcymn Ghotiolo is Sel Appa's attacking midfielder, who often acts like a forward. He scores a lot more often than the average midfielder and should probably be positioned among the forwards.

MF Mish Vasou is the son of former defender Kash Vasou. Like his father, he was born and raised in the Natives Province and brings Native talent to the national team. He has quick, strong legs that do him well.

MF Nathan KOLTS

MF Hannah BARI

MF Bill Schmidt was born and raised in East Filotelvea. He spent most of his days on a playground--chilling out, maxing, and relaxing all cool and playing some footy outside of the school. One day, a couple of guys, who were up to no good, started making trouble in his neighborhood. He got in one little fight and the ref got scared. He said "You're going with your auntie and uncle to the National Team." He is a stable midfielder who provides good connections when needed and is known to score every now and then.

FW Karl GEPARDO is probably the fiercest attacker in the nation. He has been known to knock down defenders just to get a shot in. He has a large deck of yellow and red cards that he admits he'll probably add to.

FW Klarence MORREAU is a lesser-known player, but has all-around abilities as a more deep-lying forward that delivers well to the main strikers. He hasn't seen much play, but does contribute well when needed.

45 Lenny NKUMA is a quick and agile striker with a large record of goals. He is known to score many, often equalizers and winning goals. He plays well and can tag-team with almost anyone--one of his best skills. His abilities to break through the defense are renowned across the nation and it is not a surprise that he made the team.

46 Flavio TARTARUGA is the son of Cafundean immigrants and a remarkable striker who brings the great football blood from Cafundeu to Sel Appa. He is expected to be a key part of the Turtles' attack plan, being well-known for surprise goals.

47 Karisi KOPEL

Jeruselem is sending the St Mary's Catholic School Girl team as below.
The Turtle Cup is their "work experience" in the real world.

Coach: Sister Marsha, learnt her football from watching World Cup videos

Formation: 4-4-2 (+1)

GK: Gale Megsie, 13 - Has a Hello Kitty! tattoo on both arms
GK: Shay Rushdie, 15 - Works as a poodle trainer part-time

DEF: Jacinta Sallad, 12 - Big Dallas fan, nicknamed Jacinta Dallas
DEF: Dazzarina Intern, 13 - Badly behaved around the opposite sex
DEF: Reese Hoddess, 13 - Prone to streaking at football games
DEF: Mendy Wayne, 14 - Likes mud, lots of mud
DEF: Jane Austin, 13 - Soap opera addict
DEF: Hilary Duff, 15 - Wants to be an actress

MID: Kate Sallad, 14 - Big Dallas fan, nicknamed Kate Dallas (CAPTAIN)
MID: Celina Falk, 12 - Nicknamed Kitty for being an obsessive Helly Kitty fan.
MID: Wazza Shitz, 16 - Doesn't like her surname because people misspell it
MID: Flo Crantz, 13 - Almost expelled for making Shrinkens at metalwork
MID: Dale Minty, 14 - Parents own a turtle breeding business
MID: Sarah Parker, 15 - Has only one working eye

STR: Sally Stiks, 13 - Saving up for a big motorcycle
STR: Jennifer Sloan, 14 - Red belt in Karate already
STR: Daisy Duffle, 13 - Allergic to cows
STR: Hinkley Foobard, 12 - Plays basketball too

Qazox will send their Defending Collegiate National Champions, the University of Qazox-Las Vitas.


ROSTER (starters in Teal)
1- Frank Creed-For
2- Xavier Dumas-GK
3- Charles Sizemore- Def
4- Daniel Lopez-Def
5- Abe Wahine- Def
6- Michael D. Smith- For
7- Michael L. Smith- Def
8- Gary Coving- Mid
9- Eric Tham- For
10- Pascal Madras- Mid
11- Mark Edwin- Mid
12- Jason Berthume-GK
13- Brian Gould- For
14- Winston Cobb- For
15- Gunther Hossa-For
16- Oliver Yan- For
17- Edwin Johns- Def
18- Alvin Reynolds- For
*Note: The Michael Smiths are NOT related
Formation: Will be a 4-1-5


Berthume
Johns M.L. Smith Sizemore Lopez
Madras
Hossa Gould Yan M.D. Smith Creed

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers Y
Godmod scoring events N
RP injuries to my players N
Godmod injuries to my players N
Hand out yellow cards to my players Y
Hand out red cards to my players Y
Godmod other events N
(Style Modifier is +2)

Dancougar sends its college champions, Rizzi College (style mod +1):

GK William Baird (Jr)
GK Jason Tucker (Soph)

D Andrew Adelson (Jr)
D Walter Crewe (Soph)
D Christopher Dickinson (Jr)
D Walter Henderson (Soph)
D Saji Hijikata (Jr)
D Fred Ranier (Fr)

M Joseph Denilson (Jr)
M Tony Donner (Sr)
M Nathan Jones (Jr)
M Kazuki Kikkomoto (Sr)
M Bobby Mansfield (Jr)
M Ian Pailsen (Soph)
M Mitsuo Tenkawa (Soph)
M Benajmin Whittaker (Sr)

F Daniel Eastman (Soph)
F Franklin Saturday (Jr)
F Greg Stuart (Jr)

The Salamanders will also be traveling with the Rizzi College Marching Band!

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers Y
Godmod scoring events N
RP injuries to my players Y
Godmod injuries to my players N
Hand out yellow cards to my players Y
Hand out red cards to my players Y
Godmod other events Y

Sorthern Northland National Football Team
http://img206.imageshack.us/img206/5357/snfald4.png




Goalkeepers:

1. Jonny Sage, 31 y/o
13: Adam Federluchi 23 y/o
23: Luke Goldsmith, 20 y/o

Defenders:
2: El-Hadke Murawani, 19 y/o Right back
12: Jalal Al-Jalalwi, 22 y/o Right-back
3: Nathan Keen - 21 y/o Left-back
23: Jamie Clareton - 18 y/o Left-back
5: Jay-Jay Bay-Bay, 31 y/o Centre-back
6: Corneal Corneal - 32 y/o Centre-back
15: Yoda Obasweetie - 20 y/o Centre-back
16: Oah Pione - 21 y/o Centre-back

Midfielders:
7: Gregory Pinoc - 20 y/o Right Winger
27: Gregory Halford - 21 y/o Right-winger
11: Feng Shui - 88 y/o Left-winger
17: Ben O'Bagels - 31 y/o Left-winger
4: Eddie O'Donnovan - 20 y/o Central-midfielder
8: Roy Kin - 21 y/o Central-Midfielder
14: Jua Huwang - 19 y/o Central-midfielder
18: Ju Li - 20 y/o Central-midfielder

Forwards:

9: Jing Mao, 28 y/o
10: Kim Min-Kim - 33 y/o
19: Lee Waywide - 21 y/o
20: Kang Kan-Kang -30 y/o

Kits

Home/Away/Third

http://img144.imageshack.us/img144/1695/snohkv8.png (http://imageshack.us)http://img144.imageshack.us/img144/4945/snoavy6.png (http://imageshack.us)http://img245.imageshack.us/img245/2937/snotro9.png (http://imageshack.us)

RP thingy

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers Y
Godmod scoring events N
RP injuries to my players Y
Godmod injuries to my players N
Hand out yellow cards to my players Y
Hand out red cards to my players Y
Godmod other events Y
Style modefier: +5
Formation: 4-4-2

From the Offices of the VSC does the Marauder information come

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers Y
Godmod Scoring Events Y
RP injuries to my players Y (no more than three weeks out)
Godmod injuries to my players N
Hand out Yellow cards to my players Y
Hand out Red cards to my players N
Godmod Other Events Y

Style Modifier: +3

Uniforms

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/ESF39.png

Home Alternate

Manager

Asanta Webber
Age - 20,441
Webber plans on using this tournament to evaluate the depth charts in preparation for the next World Cup. After successfully guiding the squad to a third place finish in his first tournament at the helm, the VSC has given him a vote of confidence and extended his contract through the end of the next World Cup Proper. With both his short and long term situations in tact, he will no doubtedly have his squad ready to go for every match.

Assistant Manager

Marco Defoe
Age - 14,893
Not the best of managers, but continues to get the most out of otherwise average talent. After thier successful stint last tournament, Defoe has been retained, but with Juavi having a poor season, he might find himself out of the national program if this squad does not perform up to standards.

Goalie

4 Alfonso Carte, Juavi Reds
Age - 730
Sex - M
Height: 6'4"
Weight: 168 lbs
Country of Origin: Elves Security Forces
Striving to become the top keeper in the commonwealth, Carte proved it by taking home Keeper of the Year last season in the Premiership. He isa good judge of the ball, and has good reflexes, but he does seem to come up short in big matches..

Defenders

1 Alasandar Mar, Hartdale Hawks
Age - 804
Sex - M
Height: 6'0"
Weight: 168 lbs
Country of Origin: Elves Security Forces
Having spent a few decades studying under national teamer Mathias Nickel, and former Marauder Wori Metria, Mar was bound to get a shot at the national team eventually. A very personable person, Mar is easy to get along with and his solid defending also makes him quite the popular guy on the squad.

55 Kristi Mars, Yuba United (UCS)
Age - 893
Sex - F
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 134 lbs
Country of Origin: Elves Security Forces
An agile, sturdy, and consistant centerback. It's clear now that she'll never be an "elite" defender, but her above average skills and awesome work ethic is good enough to get her on Webber's list of prospects for next tournament, and the starting gig this Cup.

9 Fernando Sorano, Juavi Reds
Age - 722
Sex - M
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 156 lbs
Country of Origin: Vyinta
Much like Mars, a very quick and able defender who doesn't get forward that often. Just starting to hit his prime, there is hope among many of Navy Wave that he can replace Mias in the next tournament or two should he continue to make strides in his offensive game.

Midfield

10 Rickle House, Mirria United (Demot)
Age: 732
Sex - M
Height: 6'0"
Weight: 163 lbs
Country of Origin: Elves Security Forces
An elf who has seen alot for his age. He's more of a possessive and defensive presence in the middle, a break from the typical playmakers who occupy the position. He's got good vision for the game, and can mark with the best of them.

22 Vic Xi, Straightdale FC
Age - 627
Sex - M
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 170 lbs
Country of Origin: Elves Security Forces
A calm and competent winger who has a scoring touch. Used to playing with his twin Vak on the other wing, it will be interesting to see how Vic reacts to playing with someone on the other wing for the first time in his life.

16 Ali Alidare, Mar Sara Flames
Age - 739
Sex - M
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 183 lbs
Country of Origin: Elves Security Forces
Off and on the national team for the past few tournaments, Ali is known more for being the first non-Elunist be represent the country than his actual performances. Don't let that fool you though, as he rivals the skill at the AMC position of Laborious Hawk and Roger Zettaback, the former being the best all around player for Valanora right now.

18 Ruby Claw, Wexax United
Age - 683
Sex - F
Height: 5'8"
Weight: 139 lbs
Country of Origin: Vyinta
Ruby is a very versatile winger, able to create scoring oppurtunities on the attack and shut down her oppising number quite effectively. With the rise of Wexax in stature, her play is finally getting recongized, and she could become a very valuable asset to the national team, if she shows she can handle the international play.

14 Xena Whitehurse, Hondo Owls
Age - 800
Sex - F
Hieght: 6'1"
Weight: 153 lbs
Country of Origin: Elves Security Forces
A very attack oriented center midfielder who loves to create chances and take them as well. Her aggression in attack is her downfall, as she will overcommit and leave the backline to the extremely dangerous counter-attacks.

Strikers

11 Egypt Claire, Wexax United
Age - 786
Sex - F
Height: 5'7"
Weight: 128 lbs
Country of Origin: Elves Security Forces
A confident and excellent striker who is getting her due after her club team finally has produce two consecutive solid seasons. She is much like Yan Kips, always in the right spot at the right time, able to score when needed to.

3 Heather Hall, Skyhaven FC (Demot)
Age 493
Sex - F
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 134 lbs
Country of Origin: Elves Security Forces
One of the youngest players to recieve a chance at the national team, but she has shown vast improvement in her game over the past three years and looks to be a viable striker come tournament time. Much like her sister Kersee, Heather can score many different ways, bar headers.

Subs
15 GK Kile van Posey - age 804 - Hartdale Hawks (M)
37 CB June Martyr - age 725 - AC Valanari (F)
12 CB Selain Azgarl - age 25 - AC Lea Monde (Assegai Developments) (M)
8 DAMC Jamichel Totez - age 19 - Cardarel (Yafor 2) (M)
23 MLRC Michelle Durosa - age 549 - Pen-y-Bydd (Bettia) (F)
7 AMC Nathan Vorsco - age 808 - FC Capri (M)
17 MC John Müllenkamp - age 28 - Hartdale Hawks (M)
26 LW Dorian Sonja - age 1044 - Jikyei (Daehanjeiguk) (F)
23 LRW Kawi Marl - age 852 - FC Longview (F)
4 ST Ikles Razov - age 831 - Dunboor FC (Cafundeu) (M)
6 ST Cleo Fu - age 794 - Yuba United (UCS) (F)

Captain: Ali Alidare
Set Piece Taker: Ruby Claw
Penalty Taker: Egypt Claire
Right Corner: Ruby Claw
Left Corner: Ruby Claw

Carte
Sorano Mar Mars
Claw Whitehurse House Xi
Alidare
Claire Hall

I Give My Opponent Permission
(and actively encourage them) To:
====================
Choose My Scorers
GodMod Any Goalscoring Events
Yellow Card Players
GodMod Other Events for Humorous Intent
====================

Notes:
1) I actively encourage, nay nearly demand, that if you RP first you pick my scorers (if any).

2) * Denotes female player, ^ denotes Dwarf (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Starblaydi_Dwarves) player.

http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/SFA-Logo.gif
Starblaydia's Turtle Cup Roster
Coming out of their shellls

The Staff
AI. Apollina Iakovakis (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Apollina_Iakovakis)*, Assistant Coach, 41 - Indigenous World Cup Winner
23 Caps, 4 Goals (Uncapped at Under-21 Level)
A competitive attacking midfielder in her playing days, Apollina won the Indigenous World Cup in her playing days alongside this team's captain, Izretar. She later went into coaching and currently manages Starblaydia's Under-21s, who she has led to third place finishes at both the inaugural Di Bradini Cup and International Justantina Cup.

The Starters
1. Kostas Nikolaidis, GK, 31 - Hecia
2. Ornvidar Bazraltek^, RB, 35 - Karak Ungor Chiefs
3. Edmundo Rivolli, LB, 30 - Rinaldi Gunners (ESF)
4. Juan Oscar, L/DM, 30 - Pernetas EC (Cafundeu)
5. Marco Lima, CB/SW, 29 - Jhanna United
6. Leandro Perheira, L/CB, 27 - Soldarian FC (ESF)
7. Jaime Gomes, R/CM, 29 - Wexax United (ESF)
8. Alfonso Di Angelo, Captain, A/DM, 28 - Pernetas EC (Cafundeu)
9. Stefan Hinkonnen, CF, 31 - Widdrington Wolves
10. Raphael Torino, SC, 27 - Jhanna United
11. Denny Djibroné, L/CM, 23 - Penningworth United

The Substitutes
12. Sandra van Agmark*, GK, 27 - Internashionale[/b]
13. Gianfranco DiCampo, CB, 22 - FE Dranacess (Vephrall)
14. Carlito Di Bradini, R/L/CB, 21 - Malta Lines
15. Kwame Jabir, DM, 30 - Penningworth United
16. Zii Kristof, RW, 21 - Beverington Hawks
17. Kalia Canildo*, LW/LB, 31 - Corinthian Spirits
18. Jaison Debrier, CF, 18 - Fort Boston FC (Bostopia)

The Formation
http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/StarTURT1.jpg

Home And Away Kits:
Kits created by:
http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/ediraflogo.jpg
http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/NewHome.gifhttp://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/NewAway.gif

Heres my sub team for the turtle cup. Starters first 3-4-3
GKs Jeb wadawadabingbo, Fred dead
D Joe wadawadabingo, jay wadawadabingbo, jeff wadawadabingbo, Stacy dead
M Sam wadawadabingbo, ann wadwadabingbo, sham wadawadabingbo, stan wadawadabingbo, stacreblue dead
S Siuan wadawadabingbo, deas wadawadabingbo, geor wda, frelias dead.

The Football Federation of Sel Appa wishes to state that the tournament will be postponed one day due to technical issues. We apologize for any inconvenience.

CCFM RELEASES LIST OF 23 PLAYERS OF THE "B NT"

Style is +3

(Lasft, Cafundéu) - After participating in many editions of the Oxen Cup (and winning the first one), Cafundéu now will use the recently-founded Turtle Cup to field the B team (the B team, in fact, doesn't have players from the NT that played WC39, but has players that can play WC40), hoping to find good players that can enter in the National Team for the next qualifiers (yes, WC40 qualifiers). The coach chosen was Rivaldo Sodré, although he isn't coach the main NT (Caio Meback will do this). The CCFM chose the 23 players.

See the list of players (nº-name [team]):

Goalkeepers:

1- JÚLIO SAMPA (Galáxia)
12- ANDREI Costa Diniz (Atlético Insular)
22- Francesco KARDEC (América)

Full-Backs:

2- Leandro VITAL (Ranca Toco)
6- Manoel Braga Ivanov "RUSSO" (Ranca Toco)
14- André VASCO (Atlético Jutense)
16- Sílvio de Lara "SILVINHO" (Petardos S/A)

Central Defenders:

3- ALEX Aorini (Clube Imperial)
4- Pedro Nunes CONCEIÇÃO (Atlético Jutense)
13- Rick TOLEDO (Penders)
23- RICHARD Jordão Lopes (Galáxia)

Defensive Midfielders:

5- Henrique SILVEIRA (A.F.F.)
8- José "ZÉ" SHO (Atlético Jutense)
15- Válter Gastron Mirsen "VALTINHO" (Ranca Toco)
20- EDSANDERSON Moura Silva (Atlético Insular)

Offensive Midfielders:

7- Fábio MOREIRA (Galáxia)
11- Carlos MAROSSI (Khalmar-Tijhus)
19- Luís Flambert TOBIAS (Galáxia)
21- GIOVANNI Paes Caetano (Harrington Lakeside [K-P])

Attackers:

9- Altemir Franco Siqueira "CARECA" (Marquez-Onwere [C&M])
10- RUBIANO dos Santos Motta (Petardos S/A)
17- Rafael Gereisatti "RAFINHA" (forgot team's name [DAE])
18- DANILO SAMPA (Galáxia)

Coach: Rivaldo Sodré (Khalmar-Tijhus)

Formation: basic 4-4-2:

-------------------------Júlio Sampa-------------------------
-----Vital--------Conceição--------Alex------------Russo-----
---------------------------Silveira---------------------------
----------Zé Sho------------------------Giovanni------------
---------------------------Moreira---------------------------
------------------Careca-----------Rubiano------------------

SCOTTY: Tournaments come and go, Kenny, you've got the World Cup, Cup of Harmony.

KENNETH: And the ever-popular Baptism of Fire.

SCOTTY: But as Mike Reynolds reports, there's other ways that teams can meet and polish their game.

(Random highlights of football games during voiceover)
MIKE: Three tournaments are officially sponsored by the World Cup committee and contribute to a team's international ranking, but other nations have stepped up and added their own events to the international calender - the Oxen Cup from Qazox, the Oriental Cup in Daehanjeiguk. Now, Sel Appa has given birth to the Turtle Cup, which will occupy several World Cup veterans while the Baptism of Fire brings in a new crowd of footballing states. The talent you'll find filtering into Sel Appa this week come in all flavors. Some are college champions, others are reserves, and some... are Catholic schoolgirls.

(Cut to a press conference clip)
SUIT: Representing the Kingdom of Dancougar in this summer's Turtle Cup will be our college champions, Rizzi College.

(Highlights of the Rizzi season)
MIKE: The Rizzi Salamanders? Yes, rather than try to use the tournament to warm up its national team regulars or evaluate talent for the team, the FA decided to just send an average college team that had an above-average run in this spring's tournament. Above average, of course, because they won the entire thing. Ten matches to survive the first five rounds, and then the final against national #1 Hazuki State. It was truly a second season, and the Salamanders, who dropped from first place to third on the final day of their conference regular season, came together as a unit and proved unbeatable.

(Cut to a press conference clip)
SATURDAY (F): Everything just started coming together, you know, we were getting some good looks, making plays. We knew we had something to prove when we came in here, third place and all, and we knew we were better than that. Now everyone knows.

(Various clips of Rizzi continue)
MIKE: But even if they're the best team in the country right now, should they really represent it on the international stage? It's true that the Turtle Cup is slated to welcome a number of unorthodox teams and several reserve sides. But does the Dancougar FA seriously want to compete, or is it just making an appearance for appearance's sake? What's in it for them?

(Cut to an interview clip)
SUIT: We want to evaluate our talent against the world, sure. One of the reasons we started the tournament was to raise the level of college football across the board. We want a strong pipeline for our national team. The tournament field we'll face in the Turtle Cup is more indicative, we think, of the average talent available in the participating nations. We want to see how average players who play well together stack up against them. We want a more baseline evaluation of Dancougar's talent.

(A few last clips of random football games)
MIKE: But will it still make a difference when qualifiers start for real? All that we know is that, for the next few weeks, the Rizzi College players in Sel Appa will feel the weight of the nation on their shoulders. Hopefully, they'll leave it all on the field, along with a good impression of Dancougar college football with the whole world watching. This is Mike Reynolds, DSPN.

(Studio)
SCOTTY: Some of the teams in the tournament already alluded to, here's the rest of the field. Lovisa is scheduled to make an appearance, a family affair from Taeshan, another team of college champs from Qazox, and Catholic schoolgirls from Jerusalem... should we really be surprised by that?

KENNETH: Probably not. You'll also see reservists and maybe a few first-teamers from Cafundeu, Southern Northland, Valenora, Starblaydia, and hosts Sel Appa. A pretty balanced field, possible a few World Cup previews hidden in there.

SCOTTY: Everyone plays everyone once in the first round, and then they move on. You want predictions? Steve Teebone says that we don't need no stinkin' predictions!

(Cut to another part of the studio)
STEVE: Since a lot of the talent in this tournament is unproven at this point, it's difficult to say who is better than who. I'm certainly going to lean towards a few of the squads from the more established nations, but in a tournament like this, luck can play a larger factor than we're used to. That's why I don't believe the results will be as important to the FA as the way the Salamanders handle themselves on the field. They'll want to see the Rizzi kids keep pace with the other teams, show some creativity, make them really work for a result. If they can show that they can at least hang with the other teams, I think the FA will consider the experience a success.

A hotel was waiting for the Jeruselem Turtle Cup team to arrive. They were expecting a coach and a lot of female players but ended with a young nun and bunch of excited schoolgirls.

Clerk: Where's the coach?
Nun: That's me ...
Clerk: The manager?
Nun: Oh, that's me too ...

Clerk: Oh, who's the guy with dark glasses?
Nun: He's our personal protection.
Clerk: OK, we were expecting something different.
Nun: Actually, the Jeruselem team is bunch of girls on work experience.

Clerk: Explains everything.
Nun: Yes, they don't look like football players but they are.
Clerk: The girls are sharing rooms?
Nun: Cost cutting, have save some money here and there. We aren't a real football club.

Clerk: OK, here's the keys ...
Nun: Thanks.
Clerk: Say, Kate and Jacinta Sallad - is that for real?
Nun: Oh yes, those two over there.

Clerk: They look familiar ...
Nun: Well, they aren't Dallas girls but they sure behave like them.
Clerk: OK, enough questions. Keep these girls under control.
Nun: I hope I can!

Kate: Sister! Am I sharing a room with my sister?
Nun: Yes, you and your sister will be put together. Might as well put the troublemakers in the same room.
Jacinta: We'll behave!
Nun: I don't think so.

OOC: Need style mods for Star, SN, Taeshan, and Dancougar.
Matchups will be posted soon. Scores later (around 0200UTC).

Official trophy for the Turtle Cup::
http://www.preciouspebbles.com/images/Bronze_Turtle_A.jpg

Matchday 1
Valanora vs. Dancougar
Cafundeu vs. Taeshan
Sel Appa vs. Lovisa
Jeruselem vs. Qazox
Starblaydia vs. Sorthern Northland

Matchday 2
Sel Appa vs. Valanora
Dancougar vs. Cafundeu
Taeshan vs. Jeruselem
Lovisa vs. Starblaydia
Qazox vs. Sorthern Northland

Matchday 3
Valanora vs. Starblaydia
Cafundeu vs. Jeruselem
Sel Appa vs. Dancougar
Sorthern Northland vs. Taeshan
Qazox vs. Lovisa

Matchday 4
Qazox vs. Valanora
Sorthern Northland vs. Cafundeu
Starblaydia vs. Sel Appa
Dancougar vs. Jeruselem
Taeshan vs. Lovisa

Matchday 5
Valanora vs. Taeshan
Cafundeu vs. Lovisa
Sel Appa vs. Qazox
Jeruselem vs. Sorthern Northland
Starblaydia vs. Dancougar

Matchday 6
Cafundeu vs. Valanora
Taeshan vs. Sel Appa
Lovisa vs. Jeruselem
Qazox vs. Starblaydia
Dancougar vs. Sorthern Northland

Matchday 7
Valanora vs. Jeruselem
Cafundeu vs. Sel Appa
Starblaydia vs. Taeshan
Sorthern Northland vs. Lovisa
Qazox vs. Dancougar

Matchday 8
Sorthern Northland vs. Valanora
Starblaydia vs. Cafundeu
Jeruselem vs. Sel Appa
Taeshan vs. Qazox
Dancougar vs. Lovisa

Matchday 9
Valanora vs. Lovisa
Cafundeu vs. Qazox
Sel Appa vs. Sorthern Northland
Jeruselem vs. Starblaydia
Taeshan vs. Dancougar

OOC: Need style mods for Star, SN, Taeshan, and Dancougar.

Zero.

SCOTTY: It's a draw that, in almost any other tournament, would invoke stares of disbelief and maybe a few woeful tears. But with all teams scheduled to play each other in the first round of the Turtle Cup, the representative Rizzi Salamanders will have to tackle opponents from some of the top footballing nations in the world one after another, with Valenora, Cafundeu, and Sel Appa making up their first three matches. Coach Adrian Mallard says he's going to try playing conservative offense out of the team's 3-5-2.

(Cut to interview clip)
ADRIAN: We do have some difficult matches early, the nations we're playing have very strong developmental programs and have a history of producing top players at all levels. We'll need to come out with energy, with conviction, and a plus-one strategy can't hurt while we find our footing.

(Back to the studio)
SCOTTY: Analysts have struggled to break down the team's chances in these first matches, although they say they'll work on it once they figure out what exactly a "plus-one strategy" entails.

"plus-one strategy"
ooct-Is that your style?

OOC: Need style mods for Star, SN, Taeshan, and Dancougar.

+5 for us.

Valanora Express
Expierementus Begin!

Well, despite the contempt that many in the nation have the Sel Appa, the VSC decided to enter their "Turtle Cup" and have sent a mostly reserve side for Webber to evaluate on his trip. While the likes of wingers Sonja and Marl, plus striker Ikles Razov were on the previous national team squad, and are likely on the next, it has become clear that this trip is merely to see how far the depth of the nation goes. It's all likely possible that this is also and audition for the highly talented Jamichel Totez, to see if he can live up to the senior level of international play. Too often have we seen a highly touted player get into the fast pace nature of full international play and crumble beneath the pressure, see Kris Consmith and Clint Centron.

So to the casual fan who is trying to decide what to expect from this squad, the answer is hard to come by. With his most proven players on the bench, Webber is sending out alot of fresh blood to take on some of the better talents in the world, like Cafundeu and Starblaydia, which is like a Baptism of Fire for a good amount of these players. Yet with the very responcibile Ali Alidare centering the squad, and taking the armband, there is that veteran leadership that could keep the mistakes to a minimal. Despite Claire's touch in the Premiership, I have it hard to believe that her achievments will be the same here, and Heather Hall must be better than her sister with her chances at this level. Carte is a good keeper, make no mistake, but he just doesn't have the guts of a St. Louis, or the skil of a van Posey, plus he tends to shrink in the big matches.

Yet for the possible woes that might exist in the attack and between the woodwork, the backline is quite solid considering. The midfield is also quite well put together, though the seperation the Xi twins could be costly if Vic can adapt. Alidare will be the key compenent if the Marauder side is to see success, as he is constantly one of the best attacking midfielders in the Premiership, and does get the occasional goal with the main side when he gets his oppurtunities. I think Mar will prove that he has spent his time in Hartdale's defensive system quite well, and will prove that he should be on the next Marauder line up. The bench player to look out for is centerback Selain Azgarl. Not that he is that much better than most of the defenders in the country, but it should prove interesting to see how much pressure the VSC has on Webber. If the Turruth Gordurian continually makes sub appearances, then be quick to suspect governmental interference. That is all speculation of course, and the Assegai based defender may prove his critics wrong with the playing time.

Webber will need to have his lads focused, as the schedule is quite stacked with very game oppenents early and often. Dancougar, despite sending a collegiate team, is very much an up and coming nation in the footballing world, and is quite dangerous, espicially given the lack of expierence on the starting eleven of the blue, green, and black. Those of the Navy Wave who did decide to travel to the Turtle kingdom will need to make their voice loud and songs clear to get this bunch of individuals going. They are not a team yet, and we can only hope that Defoe and Webber can forge that before next Saturday, when the squad begins their trek into the unknown.

Schedule
MD1: Valanora v Dancougar
MD2: Sel Appa v Valanora
MD3: Valanora v Starblaydia
MD4: Qazox v Valanora
MD5: Valanora v Taeshan
MD6: Cafundeu v Valanora
MD7: Valanora v Jeruselem
MD8: Sorthern Northland v Valanora
MD9: Valanora v Lovisa

Article by Ron Santapa

ooct-Is that your style?

(OOC: Yes, and I updated my roster post accordingly. Sorry for any confusion.)

RP Cutoff

Matchday 1 Scores
Valanora 2-1 Dancougar (Anila City Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/anila_city_stadium.html))
Cafundeu 2-1 Taeshan (Grand Archduke Kirby I Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/grand_archduke_kirby_i_stadium.html))
Sel Appa 2-1 Lovisa (Turtle Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/turtle_stadium.html))
Jeruselem 2-0 Qazox (NativeZone (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/nativezone.html))
Starblaydia 2-3 Sorthern Northland (Real Field (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/real_field.html))

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Sorthern Northland 1 1 0 0 3 2 1 3
2 Jeruselem 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 3
3 Valanora 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3
Sel Appa 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3
Cafundeu 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3
6 Starblaydia 1 0 0 1 2 3 -1 0
7 Taeshan 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
Lovisa 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
Dancougar 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
10 Qazox 1 0 0 1 0 2 -2 0

(Tiebreakers: Head-to-Head; Wins; GF; GD; GA)
Travel Guide (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/travel_in_sel_appa.html)

The disease that struck the World Cup team, (Chokeritis) has appearently struck our University teams as well, as Jeruselem's Catholic schoolgirls destroyed our National Champs 2-0.

Up next is Sorthern Northland's team. Hopefully the team will find the cure quickly, or else this was a wasted trip to Sel Appa.

KENNETH: We're with you for another twenty minutes on this edition of Sportscenter, quick recap of the top stories now. Word from FA headquarters is that Pat French will not be returning as the national team coach for World Cup 40. According to officials, the staff-sharing between the national team and Pat French's Hazuki State squad during the overlap between the college season and qualifying was, quote, "detrimental to the development and performance of players on both sides." People, it seems, are not good shared resources. No word on who his replacement will be, but we expect an announcement to be made within the next two weeks.

SCOTTY: Scores from Sel Appa are filtering back, and these are final, now. The Rizzi Salamanders, playing the part of the Dancougar Black Wings, lose their opening round match to the Valanora reserves 2-1. And, what do you know, the magic of television means we have highlights.

(Highlights play during voiceover)
SCOTTY: Valanora coming off a third-place showing at World Cup 39, now looking for players to fill its World Cup 40 roster. Asanta Webber, leading the troops into battle. Adrian Mallard... looks a little overwhelmed, if we can say that much. Third minute, Ali Alidare gives Baird a little wake-up call, good effort from twenty five that Baird punches wide. Alidare definitely with something to prove, trying to work himself back into the first team. Thirteenth minute, Heather Hall dribbles past Crewe and slots it home, 1-0 to the Marauders. Take another look, Crewe's watching her feet instead of the ball, powerful misdirection, open chance on goal.

KENNETH: Thirty sixth, still 1-0, Vic Xi gets an open look from the top of the box. Baird makes the stop, but nobody picks up Claire, who waltzes in for the goal. The arms go up, but clearly onside, the defense caught watching the ball this time instead of the players. Mallard trying to rally the guys and keep the game from slipping away, just before halftime, and a good scoring chance for the Salamanders. Whittaker's corner finds Manfield inside the box, but the header goes over the bar. Probably not enough on it, but good effort, Rizzi trying to get back into the game.

SCOTTY: Minute fifty six, things get interesting. Whitehurse overplays the ball and gives Rizzi an extra midfielder coming forward. Good movement from Denilson, over to Tenkawa, who finds Franklin Saturday inside the eighteen for the redirect, and suddenly it's a one goal game. Fluid attacking football, exactly what you want to see, all off the first touch. Marauders trying to get some breathing space, ten minutes from time, Claire gets another good crack at it, but Baird with the diving save. He had six saves in the second half to keep Valanora out of the net. Last chance for Rizzi, free kick in stoppage time, and Whittaker punches it over the bar. It ends 2-1, later, Coach Mallard talks teamwork.

(Press conference clip)
ADRIAN: It took us some time to settle down, we obviously didn't bring the kind of intensity we needed in the first half. Valanora had some excellent play up front, they were very agile, very difficult to keep up with. We started to get some better ball movement in the second half and keep this thing close, use our strength in the midfield, I think that's something we'll need to do more of as we progress through this tournament.

(Locker room clip)
WHITTAKER (M): They had a lot of speed on the wings, so we had a hard time shutting that down, it took us the whole first half to get that right. And we still kept having to adjust, we couldn't really settle into anything. But we managed to create some good chances in the second half there and make it a game, we just need to get started earlier.

(Studio)
SCOTTY: Cafundeu is next up for the Salamanders, and they'll face a team that plays a similar style of football as the Marauders. They're not afraid to bring the midfield in on goal, and their players will have that extra motivation of a first team spot for the upcoming World Cup qualifiers.

Jeruselem Government News

Work experience girls beat uni team at the Turtle Cup

Jeruselem sent a bunch of schoolgirls to the Turtle Cup in Sel Appa. They didn't have a proper cup, with a nun - Sister Marsha, managing our representatives. The team aren't par of any football club but are the best girls from St Marys Catholic Girls School. They aren't professionals or trained, and the coach Sister Marsha isn't a professional coach either. She admits her coaching skills come from watching TV.

In their first game, they came up against the National Champions from the Qazox University system. An established team against the untested bunch of talented girls. The captain for the official Jeruselem team was the girl named Kate Sallad, or Kate Dallas with her surname reversed.

The spirited team of girls showed their older opponents age was no barrier. Despite the lack of finness or experience from our girls, they overpowered their opponents 2-0 to take 2nd spot on the table and push Qazox to last. The girls despite their youth showed Jeruselem football's prowess. The girls showed up the inept performance of the Qazox team, who have a little trouble with fiesty schoolgirls.

The referee had a trouble with noise as the girls did a lot of shouting and jumping around as you'd expect with the bunch girls from Jeruselem. The Qazox team never had an easy time with the ruthless Jeruselem always wanted more goals but only managed two due to inept finishing.

Jacinta Sallad (not Dallas) lead the Jeruselem defense. The girls aren't big and had trouble coping but somehow managed to stop their opponents from scoring. In fact, Jeruselem has not conceded a goal - all the other treams have. Not bad for a bunch of young girls on their first day coached by a nun who watches TV for her research.

sorry for a late

Goalkeeper:
[1] Fritjof Sievers (26, Lovos-Renault Atma)
[4] Jason McCouler (28, Visby Nestle Quarcoo)
[18] Marcel Dalbier (23, EMC Goar)


Defenders:
[19] Sebastian Vilgoor (23, Visby-Nestle Quarcoo)
[17] Krystian Biel (23, SD Borland Leve)
[31] Christian Hartwig (26, Blaupunkt Leve)
[22] Matti Leppisoe (23, Atma Teatanic)
[7] Christian Goor (24, EMC Goar)
[10] Vincent Moreux (21, Edda EB Ulforg)

Midfielders:
[5] Jan Sandler (22, Lovos-Renault Atma)
[8] Eric Tamme (25, Blaupaunkt Leve)
[2] Philip Meehan (28, Visby Nestle Quarcoo)
[3] Constantin Pappanidoulis (28, LKS Perros-Guirec)
[11] Sebastian Kremer (26, EBBC Bosch Atma)
[24] Andre Blazer (26, AG Bitola Quarcoo)
[14] Hakon Indgaard (22, Telecom Cxal Shepenyagah)

Strikers:
[12] Georg Lunz (24, Visby Nestle Quarcoo)
[33] Mariusz Franke (27, Lovos-Renault Atma)
[9] Henrik Baecker (25, EDF Atma)
[6] Austin Cirillo (25, EMC Goar)
[15] Diego Valderrama (28, ASC Calvena Goar)

Coach:Henryk Kasperczak /age:46/

AVERAGE START OF THE TEAM

The first game of the Cafundelense National Team in the Turtle Cup was against Taeshan. Although the opponent was far from being a weak one, the supporters were expecting an easy victory, with a good advantage in the scoreline. So, they were a bit frustrated after watching a difficult game, and a close victory. Taeshan seemed strong while the Cafundelense players weren't used at playing together, something that worries the coach Rivaldo Sodré.

Taeshan was able to score the first goal of the game, in the seventh minute, after a penalty kick. The defender Conceição was the one that made the penalty. One that probably will go to WC40's team, he is now worried that this mistake can change this fact. Cafundéu reacted still in the first half and scored twice: first with Giovanni, in the 17th minute, and later with Rubiano, in the 37th minute. In the second half, the coach Rivaldo Sodré wasn't able to make the team more efficient, and the game ended 2x1.

CAFUNDÉU 2x1 TAESHAN

Place: Grand Archduke Kirby I Stadium, in Anila City.
Attendance: 68,598 people.
Referee: Milar Bunis (Sorthern Northland).
MOTM: Henrique Silveira (Cafundéu).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Júlio Sampa; Vital, Russo (Silvinho 76'), Alex and Conceição; Silveira, Zé Sho, Giovanni (Toledo 45') and Moreira; Careca (Rafinha 76') and Rubiano.
Coach: Rivaldo Sodré.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/taeshan.png TAESHAN: j.wadawadabingbo; j.wadawadabingbo, j.wadawadabingbo and j.wadawadabingbo; s.wadawadabingbo, a.wadawadabingbo, s.wadawadabingbo and s.wadawadabingbo; s.wadawadabingbo and d.wadawadabingbo.
Coach: no one.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cafundéu - formation for the game against Dancougar: Júlio Sampa; Vital, Russo, Alex and Toledo; Silveira, Zé Sho, Marossi and Moreira; Careca and Rubiano.
Coach: Rivaldo Sodré.
Style of +3

Match's Referee: Timothy Leplece (Sel Appa).

*A group of internet gnomes set up a giant, impassible wall and a sign reading "RP Cutoff"*

Sel Appa 1-4 Valanora (Real Field (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/real_field.html))
Dancougar 0-5 Cafundeu (Anila City Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/anila_city_stadium.html))
Taeshan 0-1 Jeruselem (Grand Archduke Kirby I Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/grand_archduke_kirby_i_stadium.html))
Lovisa 1-2 Starblaydia (Turtle Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/turtle_stadium.html))
Qazox 2-3 Sorthern Northland (NativeZone (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/nativezone.html))

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Cafundeu 2 2 0 0 7 1 6 6 (F)
2 Valanora 2 2 0 0 6 2 4 6 (D)
3 Sorthern Northland 2 2 0 0 6 4 2 6 (F)
4 Jeruselem 2 2 0 0 3 0 3 6
-------------------------------------------------------------------
5 Starblaydia 2 1 0 1 4 4 0 3 (F)
6 Sel Appa 2 1 0 1 3 5 -2 3
7 Lovisa 2 0 0 2 2 4 -2 0 (D)
8 Qazox 2 0 0 2 2 5 -3 0 (F)
9 Taeshan 2 0 0 2 1 3 -2 0 (D)
10 Dancougar 2 0 0 2 1 7 -6 0

(HWFDA)

Valanora Express
We are Giants

A bold, but true enlough statement, even if it has only been a single fixture played here in Sel Appa. With things as equal as they are here in this competition, with all different sets of players wearing the colors of their nation, it requires tactics more than skill to win matches. Any fool with an ounce of managerial skill can throw out a line up that is stacked with all-stars and think they can get results. It's the true masters of the art of managing that can take players of different skill level, even some with just the average talent, pick a starting eleven and tactic, and successfully employ it to fruitition. Webber is starting to become one of those few, as it is painstakingly obvious that this squad is the furthest thing from the best skilled squad the nation could employ.

Dancougar is a force to be reckoned with, now, and espicially in the near future. Despite their unorthodox use of collegiate players to represent their country, they are destined to be a powerful force in the footballing world soon. Yet, they deserved to be taught a lesson by one of the present giants, and that is just what the squad obliged them in the first half, using their speed and expert passing to constantly break down the Dancougar defence, which lead to each striker netting a goal. After the break, the balance of play began to shift, as the oppisition began to get their feet settled and prepared to play with the big boys. The shift in confidence and a mistake by the fiery Xena Whitehurse allowed the lead to be halved in the fifty-sixth. Yet, Carte was more than enough to keep the other three shots out of the net, and the backline in front of him were quick to shutdown any dangerous forray into the final third, letting the Navy Wave give a boastful "Strength, Honor, and Glory" as the final whistle blew.

Next are the hosts themselves, who enjoyed a hard earned victory in their first match. Playing at home always gives an advantage, and the lads and lasses will have to sharpen up their game if they are to make waves in the "A" team, and to keep the record perfect. Xena can ill afford another mistake that leads to a goal, or else the promising Turruth Gordurian of Totez will be sure to be making a start against the Starblaydii in the third match. Webber has already said that Ikles Razov will be making an appearance in the next match, perhaps the veteran striker will stimulate the attack, and lead the gleen clad particpants to a full three points.

Valanora 2
Heather Hall (13)
Egypt Claire (36)

Dancougar 1
Franklin Saturday (56)

Schedule
MD1: Valanora v Dancougar 2-1
MD2: Sel Appa v Valanora
MD3: Valanora v Starblaydia
MD4: Qazox v Valanora
MD5: Valanora v Taeshan
MD6: Cafundeu v Valanora
MD7: Valanora v Jeruselem
MD8: Sorthern Northland v Valanora
MD9: Valanora v Lovisa

Article by Ron Santapa

Sel Appa Knocked Below Threshold
An expected defeat by Valanora sent Sel Appa just below the threshold to go through in the first Turtle Cup. The Turtle Cup is a friendly intermediate tournament to occupy nations before and during the Baptism of Fire. Ten nations are competing for a remarkable example of Sel Appan bronzework: a trophy with three towering turtles. The top four in the group go on to a second group. The top two from there go on to the final. The unusual format was designed to give a fairer and more balanced method of determining a champion. It also increases the strength of upsets and weaker nations.

Coach Estevez was not surprised at the lost to the team third in the world. In addition, Valanora was a World Cup 39 co-host and runner-up. The Turtles are using this tournament to keep in practice in a lightly competitive atmosphere. The coach said it didn't matter the result "as long as we get practice" out of it. He hopes the team goes through and even wins the tournament, but will be satisfied with almost any result. Bookmakers have put odds at 8-1 for Sel Appa to win. 7-2 for Valanora.

The tournament hosting will help bolster Sel Appa's hosting resume after a failed Cup of Harmony bid. The FFSA has hinted it will pursue a bid for the next Cup of Harmony, but faces two competitors in Starblaydia/Krytenia and Demot/Vephrall. Starblaydia and Krytenia are ambitiously trying to host all three sanctioned tournaments. Starblaydia is hosting the Baptism of Fire and the two nations have the World Cup bid just about locked up with no competitors. Demot and Vephrall have put forth a bid to challenge the monopoly. A Sel Appan bid would make the 32nd Cup of Harmony one of the most contested hostings in some time. A spokesman would not answer if Sel Appa was looking for a co-host, but may need one to counter the other bids being co-hosted.

As stated, this RP will not be granted a bonus due to potential bias.

Due to the inept performance through two games by the UQLV team, the Qazox press has declined to cover additional matches, until the end of the tourney.

Sister Marsha: Great effort team but I want see more goals. We aren't very efficient at converting our chances.
Kate: That's because our strikers are lazy!
Sister Marsha: Don't be so judgmental there Kate, they are trying.
Kate: No, they get the ball and kick it. They don't run forward!

Sister Marsha: Good observation there Kate. I think we should move forward a little more since we're crap at long distance shots. I think we should watch that Kare Kool a little more. She's a great striker.
Kate: I think Kate Dallas was better.
Sister Marsha: You're a little biased there Kate.
"Kitty": Can we go shopping some time?

Sister Marsha: Sorry girls, only after we play our last game.
Team: Awwwwwwwww ...
Sister Marsha: Mother Superior's orders, not mine.
Kate: Hey, what about small groups of girls?

Sister Marsha:
No exceptions, you could ask someone else to buy your stuff. OK, we've had some complains about you girls being noisy in the hotel. Please keep the noise down. And please no repeating the escapades of Kate Sallad getting locked out of her room by accident wearing only a towel. I don't want naked girls walking around. I know Dazza Dallas does it a lot but we aren't Dazza ... well apart from Kate Sallad being a look-alike.

Kate: Wasn't my fault, my sister fell asleep!
Jacinta: I was tired.

Sister Marsha: Wear the keys on you if you keep on misplacing them.
Kate: I just forgot to take my keys with me.
Sister Marsha: Maybe we should upgrade our rooms to ones with bathrooms.
Kate: YEAH!

Sister Marsha: We are on a budget, maybe I should ask for more money first. We can't afford pricey hotel rooms.
Team: Do it coach!
Sister Marsha: I'll see what I can do girls.

BILL: Pardon the Interruption, but I'm Bill Harbough. Jack, Cafundeu beat up on the Salamanders 5-0 last night, when's the last time you saw a spanking that bad?

JACK: I'm Jack Vincennes, and normally I'm not above a "Your Mom" joke, but this time... okay, I'm kidding. Your mom, last night.

(They yak during the title screen)
BILL: You know, I have a feeling that I walked into that one.

JACK: Funny, that's what she said.

BILL: I'm don't think that even makes sense!

(Studio)
JACK: Welcome to PTI, boys and girls, today Harbough and I talk about elves from Valanora, dwarves from Starblaydia, and, of course, MY AXE. But first up, the Rizzi Salamanders haven't exactly been splendid stand-ins for a Dancougar national team, but I'm not sure any eleven we picked could've stood up to the onslaught by the Cafundeu B-team. Five goals against in last night's shutdown, which was a rout by halftime, and head coach Adrian Mallard was left to try and explain what happened after a respectable performance against Valanora. Bill, the gap in talent was fairly obvious. I ask what can you possibly take out of a game like this, when all I saw was vindication that a group of regular guys can't really stand against world-class talent.

BILL: When you lose this bad, it's rarely from bad luck, but usually some glaring mistakes that need to be addressed. Coach Mallard seemed like he had a good idea of what those were judging by his comments after the game. The midfield was not helping out on defense, and the marking was especially poor against Giovanni and Ze Sho. When those two got the ball wide, it created a lot of problems in the middle with bad matchups, and nobody came back to help cover. This is something Rizzi had problems with against Valanora, keeping up with those attacks, and even during the regular season, that hurt them time and again.

JACK: You'd think they would've addressed it by now, but there were a couple things, I thought, that really exaggerated the problem. Cafundeu is a fluid team. Very entertaining to watch. They play fast and move very well, and the ability they have to read a developing play and get into the right position is nothing short of impressive. The Rizzi midfield is not used to thinking too far ahead, they like to try and control the game with a lot of short square balls and not much penetration, but Cafundeu was able to assert itself and force the Salamanders to conform to their style of play. Against other teams in the Red River Conference, only a few attack often as a rule. Only Regola attacks more than Rizzi, I believe, maybe you can throw Masato State in there. But you can hardly call those teams preparation, they're far easier to read and react to.

BILL: And I don't think it really helps, Jack, that the format of the tournament has them playing, what is it, three games a week for three weeks in the first round? Now, that's a brutal schedule for any team. Consider next that the Red River only plays once a week, and the spring tournament is set up the same way, so these kids have never been pushed this hard. They're still recovering from the Valanora game, and they'll need even more time to recover from this one. For top players, their fitness is usually good enough that a tournament schedule like this isn't a problem, every now and then. But if most of these players are just average guys, they're not prepared for this. Call it an excuse if you want, but it's something that needs to be considered. It'll compound unless Coach Mallard does something, he'll probably need a rotation to rest guys and start subbing near the hour mark.

JACK: I'm not saying you're wrong, but fitness is something that you can resolve with time. It's the level of skill that's more worrisome. And the average college player in Dancougar is nowhere near ready to be considered the equal of a professional player from a top country, first-team, reserve, or otherwise. In fact, I doubt that it's even possible for that to happen. Ever. I don't know what the FA's thinking, not sending an assembled team to a tournament like this, so we can probably expect more of the same as this thing plays out...

The Beningrad Daily Blabble

Sorthern Northland beat Qazox, xenophobic hates everyone

With a number of established stars retiring and making way for a new younger generation, the Sorthern Northland squad would have been excused for making a poor start to the inaugural Turtle Cup in Sel Appa. But they haven't. In fact they have accustomed themselves well and with the Di Bradini Cup success still fresh in the minds of the players and fans they look to be here to challenge for the title, and as usual a clamour of Sorthern Northland's media is here to cover it, from the highly respected Beningrad Morning Star to this very paper. Even the Daily Mail is here having recently announced sales nearly as high as the Morning Stars (it should however be noted that those sales were recorded during the recent toilet roll shortage). If it's a form of media from Sorthern Northland it is here.

Which is more than can be said of Qazoxian media. Following Qazox's three two defeat to Sorthern Northland, press in Qazox announced they would refuse to cover the tournament due to their team's inept performance. But were they that bad? I don't think so, to score two goals against Sorthern Northland isn't the sign of a bad team. Truth be told they were perhaps unlucky to not win, with both Michael D. Smith and Michael L. Smith, (not related by the way) found themselves on the score sheet and the adventures five man attack gave Sorthern Northland's inexperienced defence plenty of problems and but for a hat-trick from the experienced Kim Min-Kim, Qazox almost certainly would of had a win well worth reporting back home. (A more in depth report of the game can be found on the paper's official website at www.dailyblabble.sn/sport/football/turtle_cup )

As our main feature for the Turtle Cup we will be asking a number of prominent Sortherners for their views of the other nine countries involved in the Turtle Cup. Today we get the views of Liam LeBlanc, a senior member of the Kaczism Northlandish Origins Brethren Society (KNOBS) , a right-wing, God-fearing party who wish to re-found the former Fascist state of Northland.

Liam LeBlanc's view of the other nations:

Valanora: A quick internet search for Valanora reveals the UN to regard them as Democratic Socialists so the people there must be idiots if they vote in socialists. Obviously not be to trusted, well foreigners shouldn't be trusted anyway but this lot even less so. I hear they are also linked somehow to Elves Security Forces. Other races/creatures are a blot on our world and should not be trusted.

Cafundéu: A much better nation. Very devout which is a good thing and the NSwiki tells me that "The Monopoly of Cafundéu is a country where its leaders want to get money at any price." That can only be a good thing. Homosexuals are allowed to adopt though and this is a shame as homosexuals should obviously be kept away from society, a blot on this otherwise fine nation.

Sel Appa: A nation described as Inoffensive Centrist Democracy by the UN. Don't worry about offending wishy-Liberals for Christ's sake, just move over to the right, that's obviously what their nation needs.

Jeruselem: Well known for being a bunch of Jewish sluts. Again, not to be trusted. Most famous for the Dallas family, a group of un-Godly heathens who practise extramarital affairs on a regular basis. They may well claim to be the Holy Land but God shall unleash his wrath on this nation on the Day of Reckoning.

Starblaydia: A former police state. Was defiantly a much better place in those days. Parties such as the Starblaydi Communist Party are allowed to stand in elections and they shamefully get as much as eight percent of the vote. Shamefully the honourable National Fascist Alliance receives a mere four percent of the vote. Is also a largely atheist nation meaning they are obviously not to be trusted.

Qazox: A nation obsessed with Oxen. Some foreign type of animal. Obviously not to be trusted. Is famous foe being one of the few nations to have the three least used letters in the English language in it's name. Is also good for fishing being the only nation in the world where the elkfish can be found.

Lovisa: Another nation classed as a Inoffensive Centrist Democracy, presumably so as not to offend lefties. Who gives a fuck about lefties? They deserve to be hanged. Is based on Polish monarchy which is foreign and therefore obviously not to be trusted.

Teashan: Yet another bloody Inoffensive Centrist Democracy. For fucks people don't be afraid to offend. Is most famous for Zekke, a sports star who is foreign and therefore not to be trusted. Their whole teams appears to have the same surname. Presumably because they are foreign and therefore either practise incest or can't use birth control.

Dancougar: A Corrupt Dictatorship according to the UN, which probably makes them the best nation on this list. Still foreign and not to be trusted though. Used some rubber chickens supplied by the University of the Bleeding Obvious in Oblast (Ed's note: Right wingers insist on calling Beningrad, Oblast). The rubber chickens didn't help, probably because they are foreign and therefore not to be trusted which I thought was bleeding obvious myself.

Editors note: To any foreign readers, this man is clearly an eejit and his views shouldn't be taken seriously. No one in Sorthern Northland takes him seriously anyway and should you ever visit Sorthern Northland you can expect a warm welcome. This man is in a small minority of Sortherners and shouldn't be used as an example of a typical Sortherner or our views as a nation.





(OOC: The latest table is wrong, SN are down as having scored five and conceded three. We've won both matches 3-2 so it should be six scored and four conceded.)

(OOC: Yeah, I should be at 1 GF, 7 GA as well... not that it makes my record any less bad :-D)

BRILLIANT WIN AGAINST DANCOUGAR

If the first game against Taeshan was so difficult, it would be natural to believe that the second game against Dancougar would be as difficult as the first one, and maybe even more complicated. That's why most supporters were in doubt about Cafundéu's chances of winning the game. The B team seemed good on paper, but it needed to show more football on the field. And it happened.

Much more than the expected happened. Five goals! Brilliant performance of all the players, especially the midfielder Moreira, scorer of two goals and creator of another. Cafundéu attacked during the whole game, and scored first with Careca. Moreira used his dribbling ability to make the individual play that resulted in the second goal. Careca scored the third. In the second half, Danilo Sampa scored the fourth, and Moreira finished the game with the fifth goal.

CAFUNDÉU 5x0 DANCOUGAR

Place: Anila City Stadium, in Anila City.
Attendance: 62,408 people.
Referee: Timothy Leplece (Sel Appa).
MOTM: Felipe Moreira (Cafundéu).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Júlio Sampa; Vital, Russo, Alex and Toledo (Valtinho 80'); Silveira (Giovanni 45'), Zé Sho, Marossi and Moreira; Careca and Rubiano (Danilo Sampa 64').
Coach: Rivaldo Sodré.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/dancougar.png DANCOUGAR: Baird; Adelson, Crewe and Hijikata; Denilson (Donner 45'), Kikkomoto, Mansfield (Pailsen 65'), Tenkawa (Eastman 45') and Whittaker; Saturday and Stuart.
Coach: someone.

Goals:CAF: Careca 12'/34' , Moreira 30'/88' , Danilo Sampa 79'.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cafundéu - formation for the game against Jeruselem: Júlio Sampa; Vasco, Russo, Alex and Conceição; Silveira, Zé Sho, Giovanni and Moreira; Careca and Danilo Sampa.
Coach: Rivaldo Sodré.
Style of +3

Match's Referee: Al Vladson (Qazox).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Goalscorers:

2- Careca, Moreira
1- Danilo Sampa, Giovanni, Rubiano

OOC: Oh crap. I'll have to fix the tables. This is what I get for using an old scorinator that refuses to resume game info. All tables will be fixed soon. Apologies for not realizing that.

And apologies for forgetting the scorination. Apparently, I'm an idiot and forget to do it, so everything is being pushed forward a day most likely. Then again, this is a friendly tournament and I doubt you'd all care if I did two scorinations in one day....

EDIT: I will scorinate yesterday's matches very soon and then push everything forward a bit. For the next day or two, you'll get more time than you are supposed to to RP. :)

Avast! Thar be an RP Cutoff ahead!

Valanora 0-0 Starblaydia (NativeZone (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/nativezone.html))
Cafundeu 3-2 Jeruselem (Real Field (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/real_field.html))
Sel Appa 7-0 Dancougar (Anila City Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/anila_city_stadium.html))
Sorthern Northland 1-2 Taeshan (Grand Archduke Kirby I Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/grand_archduke_kirby_i_stadium.html))
Qazox 2-1 Lovisa (Turtle Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/turtle_stadium.html))

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
↔ 1 Cafundeu 3 3 0 0 10 3 7 9
↔ 2 Valanora 3 2 1 0 6 2 4 7
↑ 3 Sel Appa 3 2 0 1 10 5 5 6 (F)
↓ 4 Sorthern Northland 3 2 0 1 7 6 1 6 (F)
-------------------------------------------------------------------
↓ 5 Jeruselem 3 2 0 1 5 3 2 6
↓ 6 Starblaydia 3 1 1 1 4 4 0 4
↑ 7 Qazox 3 1 0 2 4 6 -2 3 (F)
↑ 8 Taeshan 3 1 0 2 3 4 -1 3
↓ 9 Lovisa 3 0 0 3 3 6 -3 0 (F)
↔ 10 Dancougar 3 0 0 3 1 14 -13 0
(HWFDA)

ROBERT: After the break, here's how they stand. Adonis leads the way with fifteen, but Papes and Sharpe are right behind. Kenji, my man, you need some points!

KENJI: I'm working on that.

ROBERT: We'll see if you are...

ANNOUNCER: Buy... or Sell!

ROBERT: Buy or Sell time, and the first item on the block... the Rizzi defense! Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse for the college boys from up north, they run into the hosts. And Sel Appa made the Cafundeu game look merciful, they knock in seven, and unlucky not to get more! Guys, buy or sell Rizzi making it out of this tournament with WORSE than a -25 goal differential!

JAY: You know, Vincennes, any other time I would say that you're insane. But you're absolutely right, these kids can't play at this level! I BUY IT! Twelves goals given up in two games, doesn't matter who you are, that's just pathetic defense. Did you see Hijikata? He's on the short list for the national team, and he couldn't stop anybody! (+3) Crewe was completely ineffective, the midfield was sloppy, and they had one shot on goal all game. One. (+2) That's no way to win games, that's no way to even compete. It's varsity versus kindergarten.

BRAD: I'll sell that. I don't think it'll really get that much worse than it is now, but they're going to have problems if they can't get any offense going. Sel Appa came forward even harder than Cafundeu, and the defense just couldn't keep up. That forced the midfield to pull back, and they were just milling around not covering guys. (+2) Saturday and Stuart got withdrawn, and you're not going to generate shots if you're playing behind the center line the entire second half. (+2) But I think they can get back on track, they've got at least Taeshan and Qazox, I think, who they can play competitively against, but they have to make sure they don't let this get to them. (+2)

DREW: Well, twenty five is a big number, but they're more than on pace for it. They won't match the Evil Polish Donors, but they will reach -25, Vincennes, because they're not playing any defense. It was clear that they had to pull more guys back to play D when the Turtles started to break out before halftime, but they just had a bunch of guys wandering around the final third. No one was picking up anybody! (+3) They were in no way prepared to face the kind of pressure and speed that the hosts were bringing, and they let themselves get mentally taken out of the game. (+2)

KENJI: There is nothing more frustrating for a goalkeeper than to see shot after shot coming through that defensive screen. Baird was throwing himself all over the field, making some nice saves, but he wasn't getting any help. (+2) And Baird is not good enough to keep this team afloat, so if he faces fifteen, twenty shots a game, he's giving up three, four, five goals. Buying, they're going to be mentally and physically exhausted after those first three games, and it's going to eat at them for the rest of this tournament. (+3) The fans are very frustrated, and you can bet that the team is, too. (+1) Somebody at the FA better lose their job over this.

ROBERT: We move on. So with Dancougar firmly entrenched in the Turtle Cup basement, there really is no way but up, one would hope. And their next match is against a bunch of schoolgirls... except the ladies from Jerusalem can play! Two wins in three, and they only lost to Cafundeu by one! So... guuuuuuys... buy or sell Rizzi against St. Mary's!

KENJI: Sell! Have you seen those girls? They're a hyperactive bunch, they run all over the field, dribble through people, and no ref can withstand those sad puppy eyes. (+3) And what's more important is that they actually look like they're having fun. Football isn't a serious business for them! (+2) They're just leaving it on the field and enjoying the ride, and that's an intangible that I don't think anyone else in this tournament can boast. (+2)

JAY: Yeah, I'm selling this, too. I never thought I'd see the day when a bunch of rowdy schoolgirls gets the best of a bunch of grown men, but what can I say? Those Jerusalem women are feisty no matter how old they are! (+2) Jen Sloan, the striker, apparently a red belt at age fourteen. Hey, Baird better get used to those legs of hers, because she's going to be sending plenty of balls his way, and he'd better be ready. (+2)

BRAD: Selling. They don't bring a lot of tactical know-how to the field, most of their chances get chalked up to a lot of youthful enthusiasm and boundless energy. But you know what I think, I think that kind of play makes them such a hard team to read, such a hard team to predict, and that makes them tough to beat. (+3) And I guess it helps that they're a bunch of little girls, so players aren't challenging them as hard for the ball, not tackling even if tackled upon, it's a psychological edge that is really hard to break out of. (+2) It's actually frightening. (MUTE! -1)

ROBERT: Okay, okay, enough of that. Papes, go!

DREW: After getting manhandled by two of the top teams in the world, I hope I don't see the Rizzi boys go soft on a bunch of little girls who play rough when they need to. This is a good chance to get back on track, guys! (+1) They don't need to win, but they need to get something going on offense or this is going to be a very long two more weeks in Sel Appa. (+2) What I think is the toughest part of playing them is dealing with defender Reese Hoddess, who for a Catholic girl has a hard time keeping the skirt knee high, if on at all. Which I think, according to Dancougar pedophilia laws, means that any fan or player not wearing a blindfold would be... (MUTE! -1)

ROBERT: What is with you people today? I shudder to think about what would happen if we ever played the Jerusalem senior team. We move on...

Jeruselem Government News

Turtle Cup team lose despite fightback to Cafundeu

Despite two goals by strangely named Kate Sallad for the Jerusalem St Mary's Catholic Girls School (aka Jeruselem team), the team went down 2-3 to a strong Cafundeu side.

Our team of schoolgirls got swamped by their more experience opponents conceding three goals very quickly in the first half. The bigger stronger Cafundeu team got the better of our girls who just didn't have size, strength, skill or experience to counter their opponents. In particular, the size advantage of the boys from Cafundeu proved the undoing of the Sister Marsha's team with their huge aerial advantage over the much shorter girls.

It seemed our girls would go crashing down to a bad 6-0 loss as both teams played the 2nd half. Cafundeu continued to pressure our defense but the girls fought hard to keep the scoreline at 3-0. In defense, Cafundeu were having a bit of holiday with Jeruselem defending most of the game.

Captain Kate Sallad wasn't going let things rest still. As Cafundeu though they had the game in the bag, our Kate Dallas look-alike wannabe shook up the game. Kate decided to see what Cafundeu defense was made off. She made a solo run up the field in Dazza Dallas fashion with the Jeruselem strikers running decoys to confuse the Cafundeu defense. This left a big enough defensive hole for Kate to score her first goal of the cup by herself. 1-3 to Jeruselem.

After that Cafundeu woke up in defense and were awake to the tactics of our girls. Despite the best efforts of the team, Jeruselem seemed doomed to lose 1-3. Late, a frustrated Kate Sallad tried to score from quite a long way from the goal - almost half-way. Most players have trouble kicking any sort of distance but Kate's effort was fast and flat, catching the opposition keeper off guard.

Cafundeu won 3-2 but our girls showed they weren't a bunch of sissies, just a bunch of girls.

from somewhere in the Aether of the internet this is posted:

Qazox- 2
Lovisa- 1

Qazox Goals:
Oliver Yan: 35'
Brian Gould: 56'

Overall goals:
Yan: 2
Johns: 1
Gould: 1

"Hello, good day to you sir."

"Ah hello thar. Top of the morning to yeh. Drink?"

"I was just.. drink? Sure, pint of Guinness please."

"Alright then, bartender, get this man a yard of Guinness will yer?"

"Erm I said pint."

"Ah I know, don't fret about it though, my treat eh?"

"Er right sure. Anyway the reason I came over here was to ask if you'd d an interview about the SN Taeshan game?"

"The SN Taeshan game?"

"Yes in the Turtle Cup."

"oh right, yeah sure I'll give you an interview, fire away."

"Right well, a two one defeat, a disappointing result yes?"

"Gah! We lost two one? That is dissappointing."

"Er you didn't know the result?"

"Well no."

"Did you even watch the game?"

"No, but I tell you what? That was a dreadful dive for Taeshan's first goal. wadawadabingo was it?"

"More than likely yes. Most of their team are called wadawadabingo."

"Aye t'is confusing that, I mean they all the same family or something?"

"Er maybe, hey I'm supposed to ask the questions here!"

"Ah yeah, sorry, carry on."

"Anyway if you didn't watch the game how do you know the penalty for their first goal was a dive?"

"Well they had it on the tele in the pub here. So I had one eye on the game, wasn't really concentrating on it though."

"Oh ok, so did you see the goals?"

"Yep."

"Oh well that's good enough. So you say they shouldn't of been given the penalty for the first goal?"

"Yes terrible dive. I think it was Siuan wadawadabingbo. Awful, just awful. He was least five metres outside the area when he went down and the nearest defender was about ten metres away."

"So do you think the referee got the decision wrong?"

"Oh aye, of course. Shocking decision. I would of sent off the Taeshani myself so to see Corneal Corneal shown a red was a bit of a shock."

"Especially considering he wasn't even in the same half as the Taeshani player?"

"Exactly!"

"Of course we scored a goal about ten minutes later to level the game. Again it was a penalty, well put away by Lee Waywide but should it of been given?"

"Yes, of course."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Because I thought Kim Min-Kim took a bit of a dive myself?"

"No, no, no, no. The lad jay wadawadabingbo clearly tripped him."

"So were you disappointed he only got a yellow?"

"Oh aye, if Corneal deserved a red the Taeshan lad deserved five red cards."

"Wow, a powerful statement. A bit of controversy over their second goal as well, what did you make of it?"

"Disgraceful stuff from Taeshan. First off all geor wda, knocked out our keeper with an uppercut and then frelias dead picked up the ball and just walked it into the goal. I can't believe the ref missed it."

"Well to be honest I think a Taeshani player may have been blocking his view."

"Downright cheating it was."

"You sure, I mean I thought they played quite fair myself. I don't think wda meant to knock Sage out, I think his arm just hit the keeper when he went up for the header and dead seemed to be trying to stop the ball hitting his face rather than trying to catch it."

"Ah FECK YOU!!"

The person being interviewed then headbutts the interviewer and walks out of the pub with a yard of Guinness in hand.

Breaker! Breaker! We have an RP Cutoff! 10-4!

Qazox 3-3 Valanora (Turtle Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/turtle_stadium.html))
Sorthern Northland 1-4 Cafundeu (NativeZone (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/nativezone.html))
Starblaydia 3-4 Sel Appa (Real Field (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/real_field.html))
Dancougar 0-2 Jeruselem (Anila City Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/anila_city_stadium.html))
Taeshan 1-3 Lovisa (Grand Archduke Kirby I Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/grand_archduke_kirby_i_stadium.html))

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
↑ 1 Cafundeu 4 4 0 0 14 4 10 12
↑ 2 Sel Appa 4 3 0 1 14 6 8 9 (F)
↑ 3 Jeruselem 4 3 0 1 7 3 4 9
↓ 4 Valanora 4 2 2 0 9 5 4 8
-------------------------------------------------------------------
↓ 5 Sorthern Northland 4 2 0 2 8 10 -2 6
↔ 6 Starblaydia 4 1 1 2 7 8 -1 4 (D)
↔ 7 Qazox 4 1 1 2 7 9 -2 4
↑ 8 Lovisa 4 1 0 3 6 7 -1 3 (H)
↓ 9 Taeshan 4 1 0 3 4 7 -3 3
↔ 10 Dancougar 4 0 0 4 1 16 -15 0

Several table errors have been fixed. I apologize for all these issues. >_< Please feel free to check my work as the tables are VERY important for this Cup.

"This is... this is some kind of horrible joke, right?"

"Dude, she just took the ball right off of his feet!"

Russ and Peter were intently watching the game against the young ladies from Jerusalem, and it was not going well. The Rizzi players were laboring to move around the field. The games against Cafundeu and Sel Appa had sapped them. The girls were happily running up and down the field content to play keep-away instead of football. The nun on the sideline was jumping up and down clapping excitedly, as were the rest of the girls. They were obviously enjoying the show. Adrian Mallard, the Rizzi coach, was curled up in a little ball on the touchline with his head between his knees.

"They're totally taunting us, dude!"

"Psh, that's what we get for sending those losers. They just got lucky in the tournament, right?"

"They should've just sent Hazuki. Who cares if they lost the final? If they were just going to pick a team, it should've been Hazuki."

Kate Sallad took control of the ball in the midfield and made a run directly at the defense. Adelson, determined not to lose a direct challenge with a teenage girl, game up to challenge her for the ball. Kate tried to spin away, but Adelson got a foot on the ball. Light contact between the players. Normally wouldn't do much to the attacker, but it sent Sallad tumbling to the ground. The ref blew his whistle. Free kick just outside the box.

"He went for the ball!"

"Look at her, she's giggling!"

"They're... they're monsters! They're little girls, but they're monsters!"

Sallad scrambled to her feet and took the free kick. Jennifer Sloan was left unmarked on the far side and tapped in for a goal. One-nil with thirty minutes left. There was a mad dog pile near the corner flag as the girls celebrated. These college boys weren't so tough. Pathetic was more like it. This was the team that the Valanorans called dangerous?

"This is unacceptable, man. We've got to do something."

"And what do you suggest?"

"We can drive to Sel Appa, right?"

"In less than two weeks?"

"Yeah."

"No."

Saturday got the ball thirty yards out and tried to maneuver into position for a shot. He was immediately swarmed by Hoddess and Wayne. He turned his back to the goal and looked for help. Whittaker was trying to come up in support. Saturday left it for him, and Whittaker fired a shot from twenty five yards out. Megsie jumped as high as she could, but the ball was out of reach. And completely off target. Whittaker's tired legs had pounded it over the crossbar.

"Can we fly there?"

"No."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because we barely make enough money to pay the rent."

"But we graduated with degrees in business! Why don't we have lucrative jobs somewhere?"

"Because Professor von Steuben made us spend all our time programming those goddamn chicken robots! And he's the only one who would hire us!"

"Zey are lookink goot, und I sink zey can play ze Ducklinks zat darn Gearloose hess medd!"

"It's been two years, give up already!"

Another rush towards the Rizzi net. Saturday had fallen back into the midfield, and both Tenkawa and Denilson were hurriedly scrambling to cover Sloan's dash up the right side. Fatigue meant nothing to her. She got Denilson twisted around as she switched the ball over to her left foot and cut hard inside. Sallad made a run into space and got the ball square. She found an opening between Crewe's outstretched legs and Hijikata. Baird saw the danger too late and only got his fingertips to the ball, which passed the line and hit the side netting. Two-nil, twenty minutes left.

"We could... sacrifice a bunch of chickens?"

"I'm surprised Margaret hasn't just shown up and kicked us both in the face after all that we did."

"Then what CAN we do?"

Professor von Steuben came up behind them and placed a hand on each of their shoulders. "You vant to go to Zel Appa, zen? I heff a plan. To ze lebb..."

from somewhere in the Aether of the internet this is posted:

Qazox- 2
Valenora- 2

Qazox Goals:
Oliver Yan: 71'
Brian Gould: 82'

Overall goals:
Yan: 3
Gould: 2
Johns: 1

(OOC: Sel appa what do the (F) (D) and (H) stand for?)

Sister Marsha was addressing her jolly and excited team
"OK girls, I've got good news. I've got the money to upgrade our rooms so we have onsuite bathrooms - so we don't have half-naked girls wandering around anymore. The bad news is we still have to share rooms. And remember, it's Church time tomorrow. So everyone be on your best behaviour. No behaving like a Dazza Dallas please. We have some big games ahead of us. We have to play Starblaydia, Sel Appa and Valanora still. We could lose those game so we must win the other games. I know this is just work experience but I think we should be in the top 4 here. We must do better with our goal scoring. Big teams will score against us, and they will be harder than Dancougar. So girls, let's work hard."

Sister Marsha was addressing her jolly and excited team
"OK girls, I've got good news. I've got the money to upgrade our rooms so we have onsuite bathrooms - so we don't have half-naked girls wandering around anymore. The bad news is we still have to share rooms. And remember, it's Church time tomorrow. So everyone be on your best behaviour. No behaving like a Dazza Dallas please. We have some big games ahead of us. We have to play Starblaydia, Sel Appa and Valanora still. We could lose those game so we must win the other games. I know this is just work experience but I think we should be in the top 4 here. We must do better with our goal scoring. Big teams will score against us, and they will be harder than Dancougar. So girls, let's work hard."

Jacinta: Sister, do we have to go to confession?
Kate: Yeah?
Sister Marsha: OK, in the case of Kate and Jacinta ... no, you girls might need all day.
Kate: Thanks!

"Kitty": Do we have to wear our official school uniforms?
Sister Marsha: Yes, we do. This isn't a private holiday, it's school excursion.
"Kitty": Not fair, I want to wear my Hello Kitty! dress.
Sister Marsha: Well, the school is paying for this.

Jenny: So why are we advertising Dallas businesses on our jerseys?
Sister Marsha: Err, they are sponsoring our trip for business purposes.
Jenny: But isn't Hello Kitty! in Jeruselem run by the Dallas girls?
Sister Marsha: Yes, but we don't do the advertising stuff on church days.

"Kitty": What about my Hello Kitty! jewellry?
Sister Marsha: I suppose I can accept that, as long as it's not too distracting.
"Kitty": Thanks Sister

Professor von Steuben led the boys into the lab. There were two odd-looking suits of armor sitting in the room. "Ven you took over ze programmink for ze cheekins, I hedd ze time to mek my gr~reatest invention!" the professor declared, gesturing towards the suits. "Zese suits multiple ze strength of ze vearers by many times!"

"Whoa, are you saying we could use these to beat the crap out of the other teams before Rizzi plays them?" asked Peter. "Or we could beat the crap out of the Rizzi guys for sucking so much. We could just beat the crap out of everybody, right?"

"No, that won't help anything," said Russ. "What we need to do is get that team back on track. With these, we'll have all the stamina we need, and strength to boot. We could play on the team!"

"Precisely!" exclaimed von Steuben. "You can verk on ze skills ven you get to Zel Appa."

"You can get us there?" asked Peter. "No way!"

"Looks like we underestimated you," said Russ. "So, how do we get there?"

Von Steuben pointed to another corner of the room where a couple of metallic pods were sitting. They looked large enough to fit one person apiece. No idea how they were propelled. "You want us... to sit in one of those?"

"Zey vill fly you to ze stadium," von Steuben replied. "Und fast, too. You might mek eet een time for ze next gemm!" He handed the boys some printouts while they fumbled with the armor. "Read up on ze vay!" he said. "You'll need to know ze eqvuipment..."

RP Cutoff Dead Ahead!

Valanora 6-1 Taeshan (Grand Archduke Kirby I Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/grand_archduke_kirby_i_stadium.html))
Cafundeu 3-0 Lovisa (Turtle Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/turtle_stadium.html))
Sel Appa 4-1 Qazox (NativeZone (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/nativezone.html))
Jeruselem 1-1 Sorthern Northland (Real Field (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/real_field.html))
Starblaydia 1-1 Dancougar (Anila City Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/anila_city_stadium.html))

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
↔ 1 Cafundeu 5 5 0 0 17 4 13 15
↔ 2 Sel Appa 5 4 0 1 18 7 11 12
↑ 3 Valanora 5 3 2 0 15 6 9 11
↓ 4 Jeruselem 5 3 1 1 8 4 4 10
-------------------------------------------------------------------
↔ 5 Sorthern Northland 5 2 1 2 9 11 -2 7
↔ 6 Starblaydia 5 1 2 2 8 9 -1 5
↔ 7 Qazox 5 1 1 3 8 13 -5 4
↔ 8 Lovisa 5 1 0 4 6 10 -4 3 (H)
↔ 9 Taeshan 5 1 0 4 5 13 -8 3
↔ 10 Dancougar 5 0 1 4 2 17 -15 1

(OOC: Sel appa what do the (F) (D) and (H) stand for?)
(H)ead to Head
# of (W)ins
Goals (F)or
Goal (D)ifference
Goals (A)gainst

It's mainly to help me, but also to show you why a tiebreaker is so.

Well, we've seen a lot of well nothing new. Only Valanora and Jeruselem switched positions, but they both remained in the top four. Cafundeu remains solidly on top with five straight wins being undefeated. Our home team is doing well in second, with a loss to Valanora causing that. Sorthern Northland was originally on top, but were since knocked out of the threshold and remain in 5th place. Starblaydia doesn't seem able to break through despite being a veteran side. Perhaps their hiatus caused them to lose their way. Qazox and Lovisa are doing mediocre. Qazox could do better and wishes they did, but just don't seem to have it. Maybe luck just isn't with them. Taeshan isn't doing well and neither is Dancougar, who finally ended their defeated streak against Starblaydia.

PRO-jections: Well, Cafundeu looks set to go at this rate. Sel Appa has a strong chance of getting through. Valanora and Jeruselem both have a good chance to stay where they are. Sorthern Northland has some work to do, but certainly could get up and go through. The remaining five just don't have it really to get through. We'll see how it goes though. All teams, mathematically, are still in play.

(This RP does not receive a bonus in keeping with my fairness policy.)

"Here were go now, minute eighty five. Starblaydia holding onto a 1-0 lead against this Dancougar side, which has played with more spirit, maybe, than in the first couple games here, but Starblaydia have still dominated this game, Tom."

"That's right, Chuck, but they've been playing a bit off their pace, letting Dancougar stay in this. Di Angelo, though, he's been such a large presence in the midfield. Created that early goal for Torino and had a second shot hit the post that would've put the game away. I give a lot of credit to the Dancougar back three, they've been getting some decent help and looked a little more collected in defense, but the team's offense has continued to be a non-factor. Saturday's only generated two shots, Whittaker had that close free kick twenty minutes ago, but that's been it."

"This is a game that Starblaydia wanted to win more comfortably, but three points will do by any method. Controlling the ball in the middle, now, three minutes plus stoppage time to go. Di Angelo plays it back to Oscar, who squares it to Rivolli. Dancougar really with no shot if they can't get the ball."

'We're finally here... we've made it to Sel Appa... not much time left in the game, Russ.'

'There's time for one shot. Can you handle it?'

The Starblaydi players breathed a sigh of relief. With little time left, Dancougar's brave defense would amount to nothing but another painful loss. They, however, would get their tournament back on track, allowing them to make a late run at that fourth and final spot. The wind blew calmly as Oscar dribbled into space and hit it back to the keeper, Nikolaidis. Saturday charged in with little purpose, and Niko cleared it with room to spare. Jeff was exhausted. The Rizzi offense was spent. There couldn't be more than a minute until stoppage time.

"And the board with the added minutes has gone up... and it is two..."

Suddenly there was a strong downward burst as something flew into the stadium out of nowhere. It came down near the Dancougar bench and threw up dirt and grass, a shockwave rippling out onto the field and into the seats. Adrian Mallard rolled a few feet down the touchline and came to a rest with his head between his legs. The players on the field temporarily halted play. The ref stared at the crater formed by whatever had just landed, and glanced down to his clock. 89:30, :31, :32...

Out of the dust came two figures in strange armor. It was most unconventional for a kit. Weird yellow shoulder and hip pads, and a crotch-protector was an added bonus. The chest plate was white. One of them wore a small device attached to their ear which wrapped a small screen around their left eye.

"Ugh, what's the deal with the spiky hair?" asked Russ, seeing Peter's intense anime 'do.

"It must be the static discharge from these suits," Peter replied. "So where's that goon of a coach?"

The mood in the booth was confusion.

"And two appear to be two pods on the field... are they aliens or something? They're making their way over to Dancougar coach Adrian Mallard. Meanwhile, the game goes on, but the players aren't really doing much, they're just as confused. The ref's got his eye on the watch, we're fifteen seconds into stoppage time..."

Peter and Russ went up to the coach. "Hey, we want you to put us in," Russ said. "We'll get the point for you."

"A...a... what?" Mallard choked out. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather go see my leader?"

"We're not aliens, we're from Helmut!" Russ said. "And we're here to bail you out."

"Sh..sure..." said Mallard. "But someone has to get the ball off of them first and get it out of..."

Peter walked over to the touchline. "I'll handle that," he said. With that, he kicked the air. A powerful burst of wind shot straight at the ball. Gomes was fifty yards away with the ball and was blown backwards, as both player and ball went into touch.

The announcers kept their composure. "And somehow, the newcomers have gotten Gomes to play the ball out, if you can say that, but he was the last one to touch it! It'll be a throw in for Whittaker, and Dancougar is making a double sub. The two strangers are in for Jeff Saturday and Greg Stuart, is this their last ditch effort? Ninety seconds left in the game!"

Peter and Russ jogged over towards the line to wait for the throw. Gomes and Di Angelo tensed up and prepared to shut them down. Peter turned to Russ. "Dude, what's the scouter say about their football levels?"

"Let me see," said Russ. He reached for the device attached to his ear and hit a button. The screen flashed and displayed a number. "Twelve hundred. That's pretty good!"

"Heh, I can handle this myself," Peter said, rolling his head so his neck cracked all the way around.

Russ turned to Mansfield, who was ready to take the throw. "Hey, throw that thing as far downfield as you can."

Mansfield blinked. "But you two are up here."

Russ gestured at Peter. "Don't worry, he'll get it."

Mansfield had his doubts, but there was something about these guys... he ran up to the line and heaved it. It looked like it would make it twenty five yards just to get snagged by Lima. Lima positioned himself to trap it on his chest, and the ball was right there... a blur in front. His eyes grew wide. That 'Peter' guy had appeared out of nowhere to grab the ball, and in a blink he had turned around and broken into space some thirty yards out.

Russ smiled.

The Starbladyi defense scrambled back.

"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!" Peter paused for a moment, gathered as much energy as he could, and funneled it all into a mighty kick. The ball sailed through the air and was in Nikolaidis' face in a flash. He threw up his hands. Peter licked his chops as the ball careened past Nikolaidis and into the back of the net. 1-1.

From the bench, Saturday was in shock. "N... no way! He just blew him away with a single shot!"

A mysterious narrator appeared out of nowhere. Kind of. "The Dancou-jin have finally arrived, and they're determined to turn things around in the Turtle Cup! Can anyone stand up to the terrible might of these powered football warriors?"

From a blog written by someone somewhere:

Qazox 1
Sel Appa 4

Qazox goal:
Brian Gould: 22'

Overall goals:
Yan: 3
Gould: 3
Johns: 1

They're shitty

Man:
Hi, this is Manly Man from the Manly Man Media Network. I'm in some stupid country called Sel Appa where they do things with turtles! I'm with Kate Sallad, the captain of Jeruselem Turtle Cup team. I wanted to talk to the coach but she refuses to talk us for some reason. Actually, Kate Sallad looks a bit too much like Kate Dallas for my own liking.

Kate: Hello
Man: What's wrong with Sister Marsha refusing to talk to us?
Kate: I think one of your reporters tried to molest her when she was younger.
Man: That's lies! We don't do that sort of thing. She lead him on.

Kate: She's a Nun, not a Dazza Dallas.
Man: Well, she's the whore. He didn't do anything wrong.
Kate: So why is he in gaol now?
Man: He's innocent. Anyway back to the football. You lot aren't doing that well are you?

Kate: We are in the top four, so I don't know where you got that idea from.
Man: I think we should have sent men not girls to do the job.
Kate: Hey look, we've won three games. Not bad for team of schoolgirls.
Man: I still think girls should not be playing football.

Kate: Why do say that?
Man: All failures of the past with women in the team
Kate: Like making the World Cup 30 final with a female captain?
Man: Yeah, that's a failure! We lost the game.

Kate: Hey, no all-male Jeruselem team has made the 2nd round. Only the mixed teams from World Cup 26 have done it.
Man: I think you girls are useless at football. Hopeless, can't score enough goals and can't defend.
Kate: Hey! We've only conceded four goals in four games. How can you say that? Only 8 goals but it's better than some other teams.

Man: You make a useless captain too.
Kate: God damn it, how can you Manly Man reporters talk sh*t and your viewers watch it! You don't even do your research.
Man: Yes we do, our people know everything.
Kate: I maybe a bimbo who looks like Kate Dallas but I'm not as dumb as you think.

Man: Kate Dallas is woman, she deserves to die.
Kate: HEY, you leave our Kate alone. Jenny, come here and get rid of this pest.
Jenny: Kate's get pissed off, best not to annoy her.
Man: You're just a little girl, how can you harm me?

Jenny: How many red belt Karate girls have you met?
Man: You're lying bitch.
Jenny: You asked for it.

<Jennifer Sloan pins the idiot to the ground in a second>

Man: Oh God, what happened?
Kate: A girl beat you up. Let him run away like girl, Jenny.

<Man flees>

The Pickled Gherkin
Sorthern Northland's fifth most unreliable news source

Team to go on strike over refereeing decisions

Following their fall from top of the Turtle Cup to fifth place the Sorthern Northland national football team have announced they intend to go on strike for the game against Dancougar.

The announcement comes after a one all draw with Jeruselem, in which the schoolgirls of Jeruselem got a late equaliser to gain a point. The Sorthern players were unhappy with the awarding of the goal with manager Kevuaghn Ó Crio-thingy saying "Their player quite clearly fouled our keeper in the buildup to the goal. How the fuck is Jonny supposed to save the ball if Dazzarina Intern has bundled him into the back of the net to molest him? I know the ref didn't see it because he was busy oogaling at Reese Hoddess's body as she streaked in front of him, but the linesman must have seen it surely? It's very disappointing because their players were doing that all game and the officials did nothing to stop it."

Sorthern Northland's goalscorer, Lee Waywide said of the strike action, "It's very disappointing that we have to go on strike to get our voice heard, because believe it or not we came here to play football, but the refereeing has just been awful. And not just in the Jeruselem game, but the Taeshan and Cafendeú games as well. I mean that Taeshan penalty, was a clear dive. He wasn't even in the box for Dave's sake, and there was no Sortherner in sight of him, and the second goal was a clear foul on the keeper as well as a handball. And same in the Cafendeú game. We had two perfectly legitimate goals disallowed, Jing was nowhere near offside for his disallowed goal and how Ben O'Bagels didn't get a penalty I'll never know. But Cafendeú got preferential treatment all game. Their penalty was dodgy and at least two of their goals were offside."

Asked about the strike Lee went on to say, "So unfortunately we as a group have decided to go on strike for the Dancougar game as a protest. Unfortunately I don't have hopes of the Sel Appan authorities doing anything about the refereeing standards of this tournament. I'm sure the same refs will be used and will carry on making mistakes, but we're doing it to voice our dissatisfaction."

When asked who was actually striking Lee said, "All of us. It was a team decision. Each and ever member of the twenty-three man squad voted to take strike action. I don't know what the SNFA will do and whether the match will be played, but none of us will take part in it. Perhaps the SNFA will rustle up a team from Sorthern fans here who knows? And speaking of the fans, I'd like to apologise to them, for not playing the match, we know they've payed a lot of money and come away from their families to be here but I hope they understand the reasons behind the decision."

Of course this begs the question, what will the Sorthern players do if they're not playing the game? "Well we'll probably just relax go down the pub or something like that, but we absolutely refuse to be at the stadium or watch the game by any means."

The move will probably be criticised by other nations and the team have already had to deny unfair claims that they are sore losers.

TEAM WINNING ALL THE GAMES

The Turtle Cup was considered by the CCFM a competition to test players that could become National Team players. But, after five games, the success of the Cafundelense team showed signs that this team is able to fight for the title. The ability of the players, combined with good strategies, ended with a perfect form in this competition until now.

In this game against Lovisa, things weren't different. Cafundéu attacked with strength since the first minute of the game, and Lovisa wasn't able to resist to the pressure for much time. Careca, in a excellent performance, scored the three goals, and helped the team to get the three points. The team will probably end in the top 4, but wants more than that.

CAFUNDÉU 3x0 LOVISA

Place: Turtle Stadium, in Nemnenait.
Attendance: 96,780 people.
Referee: Sharon Rekke (Jeruselem).
MOTM: Careca (Cafundéu).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Júlio Sampa; Vital, Silvinho, Alex and Conceição; Silveira, Zé Sho, Marossi (Tobias 64') and Moreira (Valtinho 80'); Careca and Danilo Sampa (Rafinha 45').
Coach: Rivaldo Sodré.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/lovisa.png LOVISA: Sievers; Vilgoor, Hartwig (Goor 76') and Moreux; Sandler, Tamme, Meehan (Valderrama 45') and Indgaard; Lunz, Franke and Baecker (Cirillo 45').
Coach: Henryk Kasperczak.

Goals:CAF: Careca 9'/11'/79'.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cafundéu - formation for the game against Valanora: Júlio Sampa; Vital, Silvinho, Alex and Conceição; Silveira, Zé Sho, Giovanni and Moreira; Careca and Rubiano.
Coach: Rivaldo Sodré.
Style of +3

Match's Referee: Onswald Sghent (Dancougar).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Goalscorers:

6- Careca
3- Rubiano
2- Moreira, Giovanni
1- Danilo Sampa, Marossi, Silveira, Silvinho

"What is this? Southern Northland is pulling out?" Russ was lounging in a hotel bed with a laptop reading various reports on the teams in the tournament. Terse reports from Taeshan and Qazox. Reports that Jen Sloan had beaten up someone else. But the biggest news of the day was the Southern Northland strike. "They might still scrap together a team before the next game. What do you think, Peter?"

Peter was standing by the window, staring outside dramatically. That was apparently what you did when the focus wasn't on you. Now that it shifted to him, he turned around with a glare in his eye. "I think it's a waste," he answered. "Don't tell me we scared them off."

"They said it was about the referees," said Mallard, who was still completely frightened by the two, yet for the first time since the first game, he felt like they could get something out of this tournament yet. "They didn't like the calls against Jerusalem."

"Dammit, I was really hoping to test this thing out," said Peter, pounding his chest armor. The lamps in the room flickered and rattled.

"Hey, cool it, save that energy for the later games," Russ said.

"Do you really think no one from Southern Northland will show up?" Peter asked. "That there'll be a forfeit?"

"It's an unfortunate possibility, but how about this..." Russ pulled up the official Dancougar football blog. "Hopefully they read this. We'll promise not the start the game and only come in as a last resort."

"What?" asked Peter.

"Huh?!" echoed Mallard. "But we need you guys if we're going to..."

"No," said Russ, "I want to see what you're capable of. The teams we've got left at the ones closer to you in the rankings, right? It shouldn't be as bad. But if your boys really can't get it done, you can put us in for the last minute or two. Then you can do whatever you want, Peter. Sound good?"

Peter stretched. "I guess I can live with that," he muttered. "Still, I was hoping I'd get a chance to battle that Ben O'Bagels... he seems pretty strong..."

Valanora Express
Turtle Power?

The reserve side representing the Grand Commonwealth seems to be back on track after suffering two poor draws in a row, scoring a healthy 6-1 victory Taeshan last night. Webber has to be content with what the squad has put together soo far, but with the reserves of Cafundeu up ahead, this is likely his strongest test the whole Cup. Egypt Claire likely will have a tough go of it, and Carte is going to have to look sharp in net to keep the Monopolists off the score sheet. This is where Webber needs to show his class, and show that he has the managerial skill to get not only this group of players to work magic, but also to realistically have the Marauders in the title game next tournament. There is already rumors swirling around the international community that Valanora is or will become the next Audioslavia. For our readers who weren't around for the Slavic's hayday, they were a dominiant force in international football with a spectacle of great success. However, for all their greatness, they could never win a title, despite multiple occurances of reaching the Final.

Now while Valanora still has yet to reach a final, we are seeing a pattern of reaching at least the quarterfinals before unexpectedly crashing out to weaker sides in those fixtures. Combine that with our domestic league success, and you can see where the train of thought that we might be suffering the Audioslavia curse might come from. Then there is the twist of our first tournament, back when it was just the ESF, we were placed in Audioslavia's group. In fact, that same tournament, Audioslavia went on to finish second again without even a single press release. This is why this upcoming match is critical for the Green and Black. For as honorable as that success may be, the fans and the players need to have that hope that a title is not a fools dream.

Article by Ron Santapa

Jeruselem Government News

Sister Marsha says Southern Northland are worse than girls

Jeruselem Turtle Cup coach, Nun Sister Marsha said the Southern Northland team should forget the strike and get back to football. She said they were carrying on like a pack of young girls without their teddy bears. Sister Marsha is well qualified to know what girls are like, she is coaching a team of Catholic girls with behavioural issues. While Jeruselem have been known to complain about referees, they have never actually gone on strike about referees.

Captain Kate Sallad (a Kate Dallas look-alike) said
"We should be the girls, but Southern Northland are grown up men. They doing all the whining and crying, what's wrong with them!"

Boss, LOOK! Da RP Cutoff! Da RP Cutoff!

Cafundeu 3-3 Valanora (Anila City Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/anila_city_stadium.html))
Taeshan 0-5 Sel Appa (Grand Archduke Kirby I Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/grand_archduke_kirby_i_stadium.html))
Lovisa 0-3 Jeruselem (Turtle Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/turtle_stadium.html))
Qazox 0-2 Starblaydia (NativeZone (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/nativezone.html))
Dancougar vs. Sorthern Northland (Real Field (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/real_field.html))

The FFSA Board has ruled that Sorthern Northland forfeited their match against Dancougar and it shall be awarded as a win for Dancougar.

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
↔ 1 Cafundeu 6 5 1 0 20 7 13 16
↔ 2 Sel Appa 6 5 0 1 23 7 16 15
↑ 3 Jeruselem 6 4 1 1 11 4 7 13
↓ 4 Valanora 6 3 3 0 18 9 9 12
-------------------------------------------------------------------
↑ 5 Starblaydia 6 2 2 2 10 9 1 8
↓ 6 Sorthern Northland 5* 2 1 3 9 11 -2 7
↔ 7 Qazox 6 1 1 4 8 15 -7 4 (F)
↑ 8 Dancougar 5* 1 1 4 2 17 -15 4
↓ 9 Lovisa 6 1 0 5 6 13 -7 3 (H)
↓ 10 Taeshan 6 1 0 5 5 18 -13 3
*The Dancougar-Sorthern Northland match was not played and declared forfeit by Sorthern Northland and awarded to Dancougar.

BILL: Moving onto the Turtle Cup, and the top teams continue to cruise. And there was an immensely entertaining game between Valanora and Cafundeu, both teams with energetic offense, the kind of play we usually see reserved for the final tournament. But, alas, hanging over all of this was an announcement from Southern Northland that the team was pulling out in protest of refereeing decisions made during its matches, singling out St. Mary's of Jerusalem as the last straw. Jack, now I know that we've seen the refs give the girls from St. Mary's a few calls that maybe they didn't deserve, but do you agree with this protest?

JACK: I don't. Bad calls are a part of the game. And let's not take anything away from the girls, they have shown they can play. Teams are taking them lightly even as they rack up the wins. But that hard-knuckled Catholic education has really paid off for them. A little tactical training, give it a few years, and we might see some of them tearing it up with the Jerusalem senior team.

BILL: The cynics among us might say it's revenge for Southern Northland contributing to Sel Appa's failure to qualify for the World Cup two summers ago.

JACK: I doubt that's part of it, and you would hope that it's not. They did have quite the incredible run to qualify, but this team didn't come into the Turtle Cup as sharp as it would have liked. But they were far from getting run out of this thing. They weren't sitting on a double digit negative goal differential. At least they'd WON some games. (Bill laughs.) It would've been difficult to battle back into the top four, but, come on, they could've beaten us tonight. So to see them back down instead of continuing to fight is really disappointing.

BILL: Then again, there are those two boys who appeared at the last game to salvage a point from Starblaydia. They've said that they won't start for Rizzi unless they're in need of points with minutes to play, what do you make of that?

JACK: I hope they're as good as they say they are, otherwise this is going to be a very disappointing storyline for the team from Dancougar, who are really struggling to get anything positive from this tournament, especially when they're trying to woo a coach for the national side. You really hope they would put on a better show than this.

BILL: Speaking of coaches, we're going to chat up one man who's been mentioned as a candidate for the job. One-sided interest, perhaps.

JACK: Yes, we're going to spend the next Five Good Minutes with the man who built Sel Appa into the football power it is today, and he resigned that tough run through qualifying that saw the third-ranked Turtles dismissed to the Cup of Harmony. Charles DuPont, former coach of the Sel Appa national team, thanks for coming on the show.

DUPONT: Thank you for inviting me. I always enjoy interviews and accepted thousands in my tenure. I like openness and think it's the best way to communicate your intentions.

BILL: Everyone was surprised to see Sel Appa not make the final tournament, your group turned out to be a lot tougher than expected. Did there come a point when you accepted that you might not make it, and how did you fight through those last few games?

DUPONT: Well, the losses certainly were setbacks. Sorthern Northland posed a powerful threat, eventually winning the group. Ultimately, we were left one game that could make the difference. I always encourage my team to be optimistic. I'm an optimist and always see the best in everything.

JACK: To build the kind of team you did at Sel Appa, that takes a special kind of talent, not only to identify players that might fit your ideal playing model, but also to develop and motivate them to perform at a high level time and time again. It may be early to ask, but after seeing a few of these Turtle Cup games, are there any players in your mind who stand out as real national team prospects?

DUPONT: I honestly haven't focused much on it, so I can't really say anything. But, I do like that several nations sent non-professional teams.

BILL: There has been some concern about the kind of teams being sent to this tournament. Dancougar and Qazox, for instance, only fielding average college sides that are having a really hard time keeping up. Do you think agree with their decisions, or do you agree with the critics that they're not taking the competition seriously enough?

DUPONT: As I said, it's good to see nations sending non-professionals to an international competition. We sent our regular team, so the others get practice against a top international side. It's always good to expose younger players to the world.

JACK: Charles, I know you resigned at the end of the last cup, but your name has popped up in discussions on various coaching vacancies. Dancougar and Hopeless SC are two teams that come to mind, there are probably more, but the question is this. Is there anything left in the tank? Might we see you come out and coach again at the international level?

DUPONT: After ten Cups, I figured it was time to go. I could have stayed on and done fine, but it was really best to "pass on the hat" as we say in Sel Appa. I certainly do think I still have the abilities to coach well and will do my best to help whatever team hires me. A lot of mid-ranked nations made offers knowing I could help them get over the hill and into the top 20. It's a thick glass ceiling I'm happy we punched through.

BILL: Thank you for your time, Charles!

DUPONT: Thank you for having me.

JACK: Okay, when we come back, Harbough and I are going to play Oddsmakers, and I'm predicting one hundred percent victory for ME...

(OOC: Thanks to Sel for filling in the interview questions!)

OOC: SN, you can appeal that decision in Sel Appan courts. If you do, I have my response already planned. Also, if you win, the FFSA is highly unlikely to appeal. And it goes in the...National Court District 1 (in Nemnenait). You have until the First Round is completed to file an appeal.

Posted on a message board somewhere:

<defe>: Qazox-0 Starblaydia- 2 Qazox just about eliminated.
<BobbyD joins>:
<BobbyD>:tehy teh suck!
<BobbyD leaves>
<MiltenGold>: Why send a bunch of college kids?
<CrazyOxen>: Better if they lose, then the real team.
<LopsDeesNutz>: It's not like its a real tourney anyway, Sel Appa? sounds like a bunch for turtles!
<defe leaves>
<MiltenGold>: defe likes Sel Appa i guess...
<MiltenGold leaves>
<LopsDeesNutz leaves>

Jeruselem Government News

Turtle Cup player profile of the Day - Kate and Jacinta Sallad

The two daughters of Mary Sallad, Jeruselem cyclist at the Tour de Qazox 6. Mary is a self-admitted fan of our Dazza Dallas and named her daughters after former Queen Kate Dallas and Princess Jacinta Dallas. Mary is a single mother and had no partner. Sounds familar?

Both girls are enrolled at the St Mary's Catholic Girls School. Kate is redhead and quite a character. Very similar sort of person to Kate Dallas who likes attention and loves to talk. Jacinta Sallad is quieter and softer girl but still she's no softie, she's as tough as Jacinta Dallas. Yes, both are certified Dallas card-carrying fans.

Kate is a midfielder with lot of spirit. For her, losing is not an option. Not a very diplomatic person at times and will defend herself to the end. She's a natural leader who says what she thinks. Jacinta is in defense and quite a tough character on the field. Unlike the real Jacinta who seems hopeless at football, this Jacinta is not afraid to put herself in the firing line to save a goal.

Both girls make great efforts to emulate their Dallas heros including looks. While they don't quite have same body shape, they seem at home being the terrible duo they are, like their Dallas counterparts. Kate seems be an classic erratic French type while Jacinta looks a bit darker in complexion so we think maybe Jewish or Arab blood in there.

While they look a bit dim-witted and slow at times, they aren't stupid. They are always scheming and plotting in the background, and always up to something. Yes, the two sisters inspired by their heroes seem to be making their mark on this cup.

ANNOUNCER: College Gameday, brought to you by Construction Hut. When it needs to get done right, hit the hut!

JAKE: Welcome back to College Gameday. Dee Torso, Dirk Spiceroad, and we're here as we go into the final week of Turtle Cup first round play. A few teams will be looking to nail down passage into the next stage, a few are chasing that elusive final spot. And some will just be looking to finish on a positive note, and the Rizzi Salamanders, representing Dancougar, are one of those sides, guys.

DIRK: Yeah, I'm not so sure if we really learned anything from this tournament other than that the average players from Dancougar are not up to international par yet, but we should've known that already. College football will be nearing its fifteenth season, soon, and the national team has been around for only one cup. For the FA to think it had come this far in such a short time is nearsighted, silly, and definitely not the impression that this program wants to leave on the rest of the world.

DEE: I agree, Dirk, and to people who say, "Well, if they sent Hazuki State instead, would it have been better?", I'll answer it for you. No. Not by much. They might not have gotten blown out as badly as Rizzi did in those games with Cafundeu and the hosts, the Zooks will attack more than that, but does Hazuki State really have that many better players than Rizzi? They've got maybe three guys who can make the national team, Rizzi had maybe two before this thing started.

JAKE: So, looking at the top, we've got a couple of really good games tonight, all involving the top four. Cafundeu take Sel Appa, and Valanora challenges Jerusalem. The St. Mary girls have given plenty of teams headaches already in this tournament, will they cause another?

DEE: Well, Valanora are going to have to be careful, because otherwise Starblaydia is a threat to take that final spot from them! They should have an easy game against Taeshan tonight, so we'll be watching that closely. Sel Appa and Cafundeu, has all the makings of a classic. Regulars versus reserves, the players on that Cafundeu team know what's at stake with World Cup qualifiers just around the corner. We're going to see at least, AT LEAST, four or five goals in this game. I give the nod to the Turtles in this one, but anything can happen.

DIRK: I don't know, Dee, I think the top four should be pretty comfortable by now. Starblaydia like you said is sneaking up, but they've got two tough games after tonight, Cafundeu and Jerusalem, so they're in a situation now where they really need to win to stay in this thing. I can't see them taking all three. Northland have dropped out, so who does that leave? Nobody else is capable of mounting a run. I think we can almost call this round done and move on.

JAKE: We'll see how it goes, as they say, it's why they play the games. Let's look at Rizzi, now. Tonight against the University of Qazox at Las Vitas, a game of national college champions, this will probably be one of the better games for each of these sides. Pride on the line in more ways than one, how can we expect this thing to play out?

DEE: Rizzi have gotten some extra rest thanks to that forfeit by Northland, so they'll be charged up and ready to go for this one. One of the things I like about Las Vitas is their unconventional approach. They play a 4-1-5, and rather than using the midfield to give extra help to the defense and offense, it's the other way around! Their players are highly versatile, so you can see this thing turn into a 2-3-5 or a 4-4-2 so easily, and that gives them flexibility when it gets to game time. They can adapt to whatever tactics Rizzi can think up.

DIRK: Yeah, they've had a rough time in this cup, they'll want to get another win, so I look at them to come forward early and often and see how Rizzi respond. One thing I want to keep an eye on is those two Helmut boys who flew in during the Starblaydia game. Peter Klingenschmidt and Russ Pauli, they made a name for themselves during World Cup 39 qualifying with their spectacular chicken sacrifices on YouTube. Now they've acquired some kind of insane football power armor and have declared they'll come in at the end of games if Rizzi are in need of goals.

JAKE: And they might need them at the rate they've been going, only two scored in five games, and only one of them by a regular...

Host (Bryn O'Callaghan): "Well we're approaching the final few matches of the group stage here at the Turtle Cup, and the recent talking point has been the Sorthern Northland teams strike, which we'll be talking about. With me I have four guests to discuss the issue, former SN international Xeng Xung, SN Fans Spokesman Robert Galea, SNFA spokesman Joseph St. John and noted football commentator Teddy Bajada, thanks for coming on the show guys."

*Each guest greets Bryn and the audience as their names are announced

Host: "Of course SN were due to play Dancougar tonight, but due to the strike they didn't, can I have each of your opinions on the decision?"

Xeng: "Personally it's not a decision I favour, but the team took a vote and decided to strike."

Host: "So are you for or against it? I mean you just missed out on a place in the squad, would you have gone on the strike?"

Xeng: "As I said, personally I think there are better options but one of the things we are proud of here in SN is our team spirit, our togetherness. We don't have any one trying to be better than the rest of the lads and the team had a vote and voted to go on strike, so yes I would have gone on the strike had I been on the team, and although personally I think there are better options as the team chose to do it as a group I agree with it."

Host: "Interesting. Joseph, your here on behalf of the SNFA, what are their views?"

Joseph: "The players did consult us prior to the decision to ask if we would support them."

Host: "And what did you say?"

Joseph: "We advised them against going on strike due to the possible reprecutions of their actions, but said that whatever choice they made we would be support them."

Host: "So will the SNFA be appealing the decisions to count the match as an SN forfeit?"

Joseph: "The SNFA will be reviewing the case and it looks likely that we will indeed lodge an appeal."

Host: "Are you confident you'll win it?"

Joseph: "Not very no, but it's worth a go."

Host: "Exactly, Robert, you were one of the fans who had a ticket for the Dancougar game. What are your thoughts? Are you disappointed that you couldn't watch the match having spent so much money to get there?"

Robert: "Of course I am, I'd been really looking forward to the Turtle Cup so it's a huge disappointment, but we have to look at the reasons behind the strike, and in light of that I fully support the players."

Host: "The standard of refereeing?"

Robert: "Yes, it has been extremely poor. Now of course we have poor referees here, we have a rugby ref who doesn't even know the rules as an official ref for WCC competitions to prove that. But I expected a lot better from Sel Appa. As hosts of an international tournament one of the priorities should be to have a high standard of refereeing, poor referees only have a negative effect on the tournament."

Host: "Maybe the refs just had an off day?"

Robert: "In three separate matches? Unlikely. Maybe for the Taeshan and Cafendeú games, those decisions did look like mistakes. It's just a shame there were so many of them. But not the Jersuselem game. That was just bad refereeing, the ref wasn't even watching the game. He was eyeing up the Jeruselem lasses the whole ninety minutes."

Host: "But everyone makes mistakes, refs included should the team not just put it behind them and get on with it?"

Robert: "Of course I recognise that sometimes refs make mistakes but some of the mistakes in our recent games have been ridiculous."

Host: "Fair point, Teddy your views?"

Teddy: "Personally Bryn, I think it's a disgrace."

Host: "Whys that?"

Teddy: "We've had plenty of games where we've won due to refereeing mistakes. The last three games results haven't gone our way and yes the mistakes were bad ones, but to me it just seems the players are refusing to accept the defeats."

Host: "So your saying their sore losers?"

Teddy: "Yes exactly that."

Host: "As predicted, other nations have not looked favourably on the strike, Jeruselem stands out with Kate Sallad saying "We should be the girls, but Southern Northland are grown up men. They doing all the whining and crying, what's wrong with them!" Xeng I understand you were with our players yesterday, what did they make of her and that Nun's comments?"

Xeng: "The players couldn't care less what they think. Why should we respect the opinion of someone who thinks some big invisible guy in the clouds made the world? So what if Jeruselem has complained about referee's without going on strike? Did they get their voices heard? Sure the strike might not have been the best idea but it shows how dis-satisfactory the refereeing has been. And as for Kate Sallad, our players are grown up men. Grown up don't run around pretending to be some whore, when she gets a personality that is actually hers and not just her trying to copy their ex-Queen maybe our players would care what she thinks then."

Host: "Right well, it seems President Jimmy Sheridan is due to make an important announcement live here on SNTV so we only have time for one more question. Joseph their seems to be some confusion as to the situation in international media. Can you cleat this up, was the strike just a one match strike or a whole tournament strike effectively withdrawing us from the cup?"

Joseph: "Well the players were only on strike for one match, not the tournament. We are still competing and will complete our group games, as long as we see an improvement in the standard of refereeing."

Host: "So the match with Lovisa is on?"

Joseph: "Yes, our players will defiantly be there."

Host: "Well that's all for The Football Show tonight. A big thanks to Joseph, to Teddy, to Xeng, and to Robert, and thank you for watch. Up next is a Presidential Announcement from President Sheridan. Good night."

(Wild West theme. Gunshot! Title graphics are fun like that.)
ROBERT: Showdown time between Adonis and Papes, so let's jump into it. First on the agenda, the search for a coach. Charles DuPont appeared on Pardon the Interruption yesterday and alluded to several coaching offers, and he says that he's willing to entertain them! The Dancougar FA has been mum on the subject, but an unconfirmed report out of Yuki City states that they were among the first to approach him. Do you think he wears black this fall, guys?

DREW: Absolutely! Dancougar needs a guy who's got international experience if they're ever going to really adjust their game the right way. Who would they get if they stayed in the country? Only college ball coaches who couldn't win games, if they wanted someone not already with a team...

JAY: Am I hearing you correctly, Drew? He should be really concerned about Dancougar's showing at the Turtle Cup, it's in his backyard, and they haven't really shown him anything to get excited about. There are better jobs out there, Dancougar is still ten or fifteen years away from being anything special.

ROBERT: You may be right, Jay, but I think he might savor the challenge of building this team in his image almost from the ground up. Point to you, Papes. Next... the backlash on the Southern Northland strike. A few teams have already called them out for protesting what they say is a terrible standard of officiating. They'll be back on the field against Lovisa tonight. You okay with all this, guys?

JAY: No, I'm not, and what I don't understand is why you would forfeit what should've been their easiest game of the tournament. Rizzi would've rolled aside once their offense got going. I think this team's going to lose a little focus when they get back on the field. This is really a huge distraction, and not what they need when they've still got a chance at taking that fourth spot!

DREW: Jay, for once, you're absolutely right. It is a distraction, and it is the wrong approach. If the refs are affecting the game, take them out of it! Play with fire, play with energy; if you put up four or five goals in a game - and they could've done that against us - you not only boost your own confidence, but you tell the rest of the field that you're going to take it out on them. The best way to circumvent bad calls is with brilliant football.

ROBERT: Well, that's if the refs let them play, Papes, but we've seen plenty of good action in this cup, so that's that. Point to you, game to you, and you've got thirty seconds!

DREW: The Southern Northland team are planning to appeal the forfeit against Dancougar, but I think the better solution would be for them to make arrangements for the game to be replayed. The way things are going, the match between the two might not even matter, but if things can be settled on the field, that's better than in the courtroom. I'm sure the Dancougar FA would accept a replay, since you know the Salamanders don't like looking at that one in the W column and knowing they didn't get to earn it.

ROBERT: That's the horn, so that's it for us. We're going on a twenty three and a half hour break. We'll see you tomorrow, PTI is next!

OOC: The appeal would be appealing the decision and asking to play the match. Sorry if that was unclear.

Kate Sallad gets a phone call ...

Kate: Hello?
Man: Hi, is that Kate Sallad?
Kate: Yeah, it's Kate Sallad.
Man: Hi, this is Rocky Pointy Stick ... you know assistant coach of Jerusalem United.

Kate: Hi! That's Dazza's team right?
Man: Yes, Dazza's team. We'd like you and your sister to come in and talk to us about a trial.
Kate: Really? Us? We're just girls!
Man: Yes, but the boss thinks you'd be good for our team. There are no Dallas girls playing football at our team.

Kate: Yeah? We'll come!
Man: Good good, we think you have potential. Your sister too.
Kate: My sister will be thrilled.
Man: Keep up the good work, you're play them elves next.

Kate: Yeah, I'll be determined to win. They locked up my Kate ... oh, your Kate.
Man: You sound like Kate Dallas.
Kate: A girl gotta have a hero, why not your Kate.
Man: Well, I lost my Dallas a long time ago.

Kate: Oh, poor Rashina. You're a single father, my Mum is a single mother.
Man: That's alright Kate, I've got plenty of Dallas girls to bother me.
Kate: I'll tell my sister, she's got her own hero too.
Man: Yes, I find it weird the real Jacinta is a hopeless football player.

Kate: What about little Marie Antoinette?
Man: Dazza thinks she wants to be a racing car driver.
Kate: Well, us Sallad girls will be there!
Man: Good luck against the Elves

Kate: We'll win, don't worry.
Man: I hope so too.

Sunday! Monday! Happy Days! Tuesday! Wednesday! Happy Days! Thursday! Friday! Happy Days! The RP Cutoff is here!

Valanora 3-0 Jeruselem (Real Field (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/real_field.html))
Cafundeu 1-3 Sel Appa (Anila City Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/anila_city_stadium.html))
Starblaydia 1-1 Taeshan (Grand Archduke Kirby I Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/grand_archduke_kirby_i_stadium.html))
Sorthern Northland 2-1 Lovisa (Turtle Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/turtle_stadium.html))
Qazox 0-2 Dancougar (NativeZone (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/nativezone.html))

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
↑ 1 Sel Appa 7 6 0 1 26 8 18 18
↓ 2 Cafundeu 7 5 1 1 21 10 11 16
↑ 3 Valanora 7 4 3 0 21 9 12 15
↓ 4 Jeruselem 7 4 1 2 11 7 4 13
-------------------------------------------------------------------
↑ 5 Sorthern Northland 6* 3 1 3 11 12 -1 10
↓ 6 Starblaydia 7 2 3 2 11 10 1 9
↑ 7 Dancougar 6* 2 1 4 4 17 -13 7
↓ 8 Qazox 7 1 1 5 8 17 -9 4 (F)
↑ 9 Taeshan 7 1 1 5 6 19 -13 4
↓ 10 Lovisa 7 1 0 6 7 15 -8 3
*The Dancougar-Sorthern Northland match was not played and declared forfeit by Sorthern Northland and awarded to Dancougar.

Qualified
Eliminated

Who's Through? Who's Out? Who's Hanging on for Dear Life?

"It's time for another edition of the near-end-of-a-tournament show everyone knows and loves. I'm Allan Bezh, good evening. Well, folks it's been an interesting Turtle Cup: the first of its kind. But now the first round nears its end with only two matches to go and we can safely project who's through, who's out, and who's hanging on for dear life.

The host and home team, our very own Turtles have gone through after defeating Cafundeu in an exceptional match. Anyone who didn't watch that match needs to re-examine their life, in my opinion. I will admit the ref made a bad call in favor of Sel Appa that would have made it a 3-2 match, but now it's history.

Cafundeu is also through. Even if they lose the next to matches and Sorthern Northland wins their two, Cafundeu gets through on the head-to-head tiebreaker.

Next, we have Valanora who have put on quite a show trading places constantly with Jeruselem. If they lose both remaining matches and Sorthern Northland wins both their matches, Valanora cannot qualify. If Starblaydia manages to win both with two Valanora losses, Starblaydia may knock Valanora out on Goals For. Anything else will see them through.

Jeruselem sent a team of little girls from some Catholic school instead of their national team, but these girls have done well. They need at least a win and a draw to secure qualification. However, they certainly can go through with other results.

Sorthern Northland, despite forfeiting a match can qualify. They need to win at least one match, hoping Jeruselem loses both, and rely on tiebreakers as long as Starblaydia doesn't get two wins. They may appeal the match declared forfeit. If they win that, it would change things a bit.

Then we come to Starblaydia, who face a longshot bid to qualify. They need to win both, beating Valanora on tiebreakers or if they overtake Jeruselem and have more points than Sorthern Northland.

Dancougar gets knocked out on the first tiebreaker even if they managed to win both matches and Jeruselem lost both. Jeruselem defeated Dancougar 2-0 on matchday 4, giving them the head-to-head.

Finally, we have the last three who have no chance, even before tiebreakers. Qazox, Taeshan, and Lovisa tried their best, but just couldn't get it together. Maybe next time.

After this round, the top four teams go on to a second group stage. Sel Appa and Cafundeu are set. Valanora and Jeruselem face pretty favorable odds, but don't be surprised if Sorthern Northland knocks either of them out. Starblaydia faces long odds that is making a few risktaking bettors hopeful. The odds for them here in Sel Appa are reported to be 1093-1. Where they came up with that odd number, I'ven't the slightest. Anyway, that's it for today's show. Join me tomorrow as we wrap up the tournament predictions. We might see it all settled or we might not, either way I'll be here and you better be too. I'm Allan Bezh, good night."

EDIT: This awesome RP does not count unfortunately. :( Not like I need it though at this point...
Oh and if anyone's wondering, RP Bonus carries all the way through.

From the personal Blog of ****** (name blocked for security reasons)

Dammit, we lost again, this time to fellow Collegiate champs, the ones from Dancougar, 0-2.

We've just sucked this tourney, and the reason is, why send the college team, halfway around the world, just 2 days after the Final Four ended? We've been playing for about 3 weeks straight, just before this tourney, and then this tourney itself. Lat's like 14 games in 23 days, and they wonder why we seem to stink.

Hopfully, this won't effect us as in a few weeks, tryouts for the national team are coming up and i think i could have made the team, but now? I doubt, i'll be to damn tired.

That's all for now, I'll try to get on more up before we leave this damn country.

Jeruselem Government News

Girls not giving up at Turtle Cup despite loss

Our girls from the St Mary's Catholic Girls School suffered their second loss today. They went down 0-3 to Valanora who were simply the better team on the day. Despite the one-sided scoreline, the girls were terrible they were outplayed by a much better team. Sister Marsha's girls were outdone and didn't really feature as they suffered their worst loss of the Turtle Cup.

While most of the team looked discouraged, but plucky Captain Kate Sallad was not going give up so easily
"There's two games left, so it's not over. One game is against Starblaydia but I think that gives us more incentive. We're not a professional football team but that's not going to stop us. The fat lady isn't going to sing yet. There's no rest for the wicked ... err, that's us. We aim for two wins, or at least one. Losing is for girls! Err, did I say that ... I meant sissies. We're girls, not sissies although we were both today."

Sister Marsha said
"I think we learnt a lot today. You have to remember these girls haven't played at this level before so you do expect us to be learning new things. Learning to accept loss is the hardest thing but it makes winning more exciting too. I've been doing a lot of reading and it's clear the losing mentality is easier to attain than a winning one. I hope our girls can get back into the winning mentality."

CHUCK: Welcome to DSPN's coverage of the first ever Turtle Cup competition in Sel Appa. The first game on the menu tonight is a matchup of college champs from Dancougar and Qazox... it's the Rizzi Salamanders taking on the University of Qazox at Las Vitas. Hello, everyone, I'm Chuck Secoll, and the storylines surrounding this match are of little interest to the people outside of it. Both have had dismal runs in this cup, but tonight, they play for the pride of their nations and their schools. And it has take on the air of a college final, as we've got school banners, cheerleaders, and of course, those marching bands. A more familiar setting for Dancougar fans, right Tom?"

TOM: It sure is, Chuck, although the tempo might not be as high for these young men as we might be used to. Both teams are playing tired. The Rizzi Salamanders came into this tournament without about a month's rest following the Grand Final, but since then, their fitness has been in doubt. Two goals in five matches so far, the only win coming by forfeit, they have looked like the weakest team in the tournament. That forfeit, though, has given them some extra rest against Las Vitas, who have had no such luck. And their tournament ended just a few days before this one began, so it's hurt them doubly. They seem to pull it together before every match, though, but it has really hurt this team to not be able to go all out."

CHUCK: And as always, we check the sidelines and our very own Anne Marie.

ANNE: I was talking to Rizzi coach Adrian Mallard about the likelihood of seeing Peter Klingenschmidt and Russ Pauli enter the match for a late boost, similar to the one the two brought to the Starblaydia game. He said they were a no go, since the boys have detected something they call a "Godmod Barrier" erected by Las Vitas. What this is and what it means isn't clear, but it looks like they'll just be spectators in this one.

CHUCK: Thanks, Anne, let's take a look now at the starting lineups. Not much to be said for Rizzi's performance in the tournament. But Ben Whittaker has shown some real moxie in the midfield, especially in dead ball situations, and he may play himself onto the national team despite his team's run of poor form. Las Vitas playing a very unconventional 4-1-5 formation, but a lot of hidden flexibility in that. Ollie Yan and Brian Gould have been the danger men for them thus far. So let's get down to the field, Las Vitas will kick off to begin the game. And here we go, Turtle Cup first round, Dancougar against Qazox is underway at the NativeZone!

...

CHUCK: Kikkomoto controls the ball at the top of the circle and passes through to Mansfield. Mansfield forced to hold up and wait for support, Sizemore is there. Mansfield holds him off and plays it back to Denilson. Denilson chips into the box, HE'S GOT STUART, HEADER, SAVE! Bertume gets to it, SATURDAY IS THERE! AND IT'S CLEARED AGAIN! It looked like Johns was able to clear it off the line! Incredible defensive stand by Las Vitas!

TOM: Great concentration on the ball by both sides, take a look at it again. Stuart's header wasn't strong enough, but Berthume couldn't get it out that far. Saturday rips it in on the first touch, but Johns got to the far post and heads it clear. Flag was up on Stuart anyway.

...

CHUCK: Twenty fifth minute, still looking for goals. Madras orders the troops up, Las Vitas has numbers. Hossa racing down the wing, he gets it. Trouble here! Hossa... Hossa... crosses it into the box and CREEEEED.... well, he did good to reach that, but he'll be wanting a better hit next time. The ball is up and over the bar.

TOM: And this is a situation where Rizzi really needs to be careful. They had Whittaker trailing the play, and Hossa had absolutely all day to set that up while Ben came back to help on D. And Hossa jumped a little too late and got under it, but that's a wake-up call for the defense. Hijikata should've been able to get up for it, but he mistimed his jump, as well.

...

CHUCK: Mansfield gets the ball now, plays it square to Tenkawa. Tenkawa... a boost to get around Smith, a bump from Smith, and down goes Tenkawa! And Smith will get called for the foul.

TOM: Nothing too serious about that, obstruction, as Tenkawa pulls the quick move on the defender. But it's definitely within Whittaker's range.

CHUCK: Whittaker sizes up the free kick, this from twenty five. Whittaker... it's over the wall, AND INTO THE NEAR POST! GOOOOOOOOOOAL!! Ben Whittaker, minute thirty three, off the free kick!

TOM: He puts just the right amount of spin on it. Up over the wall, it bends in. And Berthume was too slow to react to it. He's come close a few times in this tournament, and now Ben Whittaker finally nets one.

CHUCK: It's a small lead, but it's the first one this team have enjoyed while in Sel Appa, so they'll certainly take it! Ben Whittaker has provided the opening goal of the match...

...

CHUCK: Halftime at the NativeZone, the score remains 1-0 to Rizzi after that monster free kick from Ben Whittaker. Las Vitas have threatened on a few occasions, Tom, what are your keys to the second half?

TOM: Well, they've been better at getting numbers forward to content with that Rizzi defense. They're not bringing people back fast enough, especially when Hossa gets the ball wide. He's distributed a few pretty good balls, but poor finishing has kept this game where it is. If they just start taking advantage of these situations, they could easily have one or two by now. For Rizzi, they need to keep possession of the ball in the midfield and force Las Vitas out of their formation. If they can force guys to come over and help, it'll throw off their rhythm, and it might even give them a chance for a breakout.

CHUCK: The second half will begin shortly, let's take a look at those first half stats...

...

CHUCK: Lopez cuts off the pass from Tenkawa, and Las Vitas have a break. Up to Madras, who has men with him. It's five on three as he feeds to Yan! The Rizzi midfield is completely behind the play! Yan to Gould... Gould... Hossa. Hossa crosses. It's high... and over everyone! What a chance for Las Vitas, and the final ball wasn't there. Creed has control on the other side, now, but he's cut off by Whittaker. And the threat is gone.

TOM: He got under it too much, he's had a few pretty hard runs down that side, now, has Hossa. His legs just weren't there on the cross.

...

CHUCK: Rizzi looking to put the game away, less than half an hour is left. Denilson is working on Johns. He plays it back to Kikkomoto. Kikkomoto dribbles into space. To Mansfield, and he'll rip one... WIDE RIGHT! One-timed the shot and got there a bit late, drives it to the right of the post.

TOM: And that was good buildup by Rizzi, there, Kikkomoto making the extra pass. They got a few extra guys up from the midfield for the attack, and that's what left Mansfield open at the top of the box. A good effort by the junior midfielder.

...

CHUCK: Inside twenty, now, both teams still pushing up, looking for the critical goal. It gives Rizzi control of the game, but for Las Vitas, it puts them back in it. Madras kicks it out to Hossa. Hossa up, Whittaker converging... OH, great tackle by Whittaker to win the ball! Play on, says the ref! Whittaker pushes it up to Tenkawa. Tenkawa's got help, it's Tenkawa. Tenkawa to Mansfield. Mansfield over to Saturday. Saturday... SATURDAAAAAAY! DAGGER! Frank Saturday has made it two! Great ball movement all the way up the field by the Rizzi Salamanders, and Saturday puts it past Berthume for his second goal of the tournament.

TOM: And you're going to see it all start with Benjamin Whittaker making a big play in the midfield. Benji has really made a case for himself tonight, he shuts down Hossa right away and gets the ball upfield. Great run from Saturday to get behind the last man, ball played forward, he's onside, and pokes it in.

FANS:
On the shores of the Red you can hear them roar
It's a shout from the depths of the heart
As the Salamanders take the field
They are Rizzi fighting on!
Use your strength to keep on pushing
Never yield while there's still hope
Fight oooooooon, fight oooooooon
They are Rizzi fighting on!
Fight oooooooon, fight oooooooon
They are Rizzi fighting on!!


CHUCK: The Rizzi fight song, we haven't heard it much during this tournament, but with a 2-0 lead in minute seventy one, Rizzi might have just sealed this one away...

...

CHUCK: Madras sends it upfield, last chance perhaps for Las Vitas to get one back. Yan controls the ball and drops it off to Gould. Gould will shoot from twenty, and Baird holds on tight to that one! He'll punt it away, and there's the final whistle! The Rizzi Salamanders finally have a win that they earned on the field. A 2-0 triumph against the University of Qazox at Las Vitas, and in this matchup of college champs, Rizzi proved the stronger side.

TOM: And Las Vitas did run out of gas well before the end, they've been playing football constantly for the last few weeks, and all credit to them for staying in it until the end. But the Salamanders also played very well, still made plenty of mistakes, but found a way around them. Goals to Whittaker and Saturday, Lovisa next up.

CHUCK: This has been a presentation of DSPN, the national leader in sports. Part two of our Turtle Cup doubleheader is next, and it's a doozy - Sel Appa taking on Cafundeu. This is Chuck Secoll saying good night from the NativeZone, where once again, Rizzi defeats Las Vitas 2-0.

The Pickled Gherkin
Sorthern Northland's fifth most unreliable news source

Naked alien inspires O'Donnovan

In an exclusive interview with The Pickled Gherking that may or may not be made up, Sorthern Northland midfield superstar Eddie O'Donnovan revealed that a naked alien inspired him to put in a man of the match victory against Lovisa.

The alleged incident happened at half time with the Sortherners trailing to an early long range effort from Henrik Baecker. Eddie O'Donnovan in an interview that may not have actually happened told me after the game that at the end of the half he desperately needed a slash so he rushed down the tunnel and into the changing room's toilets. Once inside the toilets and emptying his bladder he claims he was confronted by a naked alien. He says the alien then took him aboard his spaceship and did something to him. "I don't what it was but it revitalised me, I felt strong afterwards," he said. Following the encounter on the spaceship he claims he was then dumped back into the changing room naked in front of his bemused team mates.

http://imgsrv.mix947.com/image/kamx/UserFiles/Image/MORNINGS/435px-Alien.png
Alien, after encounter with Eddie O'Donnovan

Whatever happened seemed to do the trick as the Sortherners, lead by the drive of O'Donnovan came out strongly for the second half. Chance after chance after chance went amiss and with ten minutes left it looked like no matter what they did the Sortherners wouldn't score. O'Donnovan refused to give up though and with five minutes left he spotted Lovisa keeper Fritjof Sievers off his line and attempted to lob the keeper from well inside his own half. And succeeded. Two minutes later a Lovisan attack broke down on the edge of the area and a combined effort from O'Donnovan and Jing saw Eddie put the Sortherners into the lead and up to fifth in the table.

However the Sortherners look unlikely to qualify with tough games against Sel Appa and Valanora yet to come. It remains to be seen how much the strike action Dancougar will punish the team although in the last few minutes the SNFA have confirmed they will be taking the case to the courts. It is believed the SNFA will ask for the match to be played at a latter date.

Jeruselem Government News

Turtle Cup player profile of the day - Jennifer Sloan

Jennifer Sloan or "Jenny" is 14 year old with big potential. She is actually red belt in Karate already and plans to become a black belt later. Already these martial arts skills are translating to better football skills and better performance on the football field. Jenny is a big fan of the "Dazzi" comics with our fave Ninja girl. She can be seen at home play fighting with her friends.

In real life, she's done things to help the community too. She once saved a young prostitute from being kidnapped by a gang of thugs with sticks. With an old broom handle and her Karate skills she save the poor girl from a worse fate. In another incident, she saved her classmates from a lone gunman stopping him before he could use his weapons. A swift roundhouse to the head knocked him out and saved her friends.

Her real life hero is Chuck Norris, although she's also admirer of Kate Dallas who is also known as Dazzi. She also thinks highly of other well known martial arts people and wants to join their ranks.

On the field, she's a fearless girl - not scared to do a bit aerial combat with the opponent. She's not a big girl but she's not weak with inner strength and super skills to match. A girl not to fear any situation and gives as good as she gets.

Oh, the RP Cutoff! (Sorry it's late. Went somewhere...)

Sorthern Northland 2-1 Valanora (NativeZone (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/nativezone.html))
Starblaydia 1-4 Cafundeu (Real Field (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/real_field.html))
Jeruselem 2-0 Sel Appa (Anila City Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/anila_city_stadium.html))
Taeshan 1-1 Qazox (Grand Archduke Kirby I Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/grand_archduke_kirby_i_stadium.html))
Dancougar 0-0 Lovisa (Turtle Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/turtle_stadium.html))

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
↑ 1 Cafundeu 8 6 1 1 25 11 14 19
↓ 2 Sel Appa 8 6 0 2 26 10 16 18
↑ 3 Jeruselem 8 5 1 2 13 7 6 16
↓ 4 Valanora 8 4 3 1 22 11 11 15
-------------------------------------------------------------------
↔ 5 Sorthern Northland 7* 4 1 3 13 13 0 13
↔ 6 Starblaydia 8 2 3 3 12 14 -2 9
↔ 7 Dancougar 7* 2 2 4 4 17 -13 8
↔ 8 Qazox 8 1 2 5 9 18 -9 5 (F)
↔ 9 Taeshan 8 1 2 5 7 20 -13 5
↔ 10 Lovisa 8 1 1 6 7 15 -8 4
*The Dancougar-Sorthern Northland match was not played and declared forfeit by Sorthern Northland and awarded to Dancougar.

Qualified
Eliminated

Posted:

Qazox 1
taeshan 1

Qazox finally can leave Sel Appa.

Who's Through? Who's Out? Who's Hanging on for Dear Life?

"We're back for another edition of the near-end-of-a-tournament show everyone knows and loves. I'm Allan Bezh, good evening. Even with only one matchday left, we're still left on our seats as Jeruselem, Valanora, and Sorthern Northland face an epic showdown to determine which two qualify. The first two are above the threshold, but Sorthern Northland still has the ability to get through.

As me know already, Sel Appa and Cafundeu are already set to go through. It didn't matter if they lost the final two matches: they'd still go through.

Jeruselem pulled off an excellent victory against our own Turtles, causing another switcheroo with Valanora. The two have battled for 3rd place in the group without end. Jeruselem, though, is not yet secure. They need to win or draw to secure qualification without worry. A loss would make them hope that Sorthern Northland does not win. They play Starblaydia at Anila City Stadium for the final match.

Valanora hopes for a win to be secure. A draw or a loss forces them to rely on Sorthern Northland not winning. They play Lovisa at Turtle Stadium.

Sorthern Northland fights on, not wanting to be set back by a forfeited match to Dancougar. They defeated top team Valanora giving them a lifeline and a trump card over Valanora should tiebreakers be needed. The team rallied after a disappointing mid-round show for them. They absolutely NEED to win against our Turtles and hope for a Jeruselem loss or a Valanora loss or draw. As long as they win with a Jeruselem loss or draw, they can go through on Goals For. A Valanora loss would see them through on points. A draw would see them through on tiebreakers. If Jeruselem and Valanora both win, then Sorthern Northland cannot go through. The team is certainly hoping one of the two breaks down and they defeat Sel Appa

Starblaydia was knocked out by their loss to Cafundeu. They needed to win both matches to have a chance, so this loss sends them home at the end of the round.

That's it for this round. Join me after the first matchday of the second round when Sel Appa, Cafundeu, and two others battle for a place in the Final, which determines this tournament's champion. Allan Bezh, good night."

OOC: As always, this doesn't count. SN, I must give you props on refusing to be beaten back. Good luck. Sel Appans are caught wanting to support you and us. We're through though, so it's not that bad...

Cheers went up from the crowd urging the teams forward. There had been plenty of chances, sure. Whittaker hit the post back in minute twenty with a half cross-half shot that confused everyone, including the goalkeeper. Georg Lunz, meanwhile, had spent most of the game working on Adelson, and finally got past him in minute sixty four with a wicked move that turned the defender around where he stood. But the shot had been weak, and Baird scooped it up for safe-keeping. Neither team stood to gain much from this game, but Lovisa surely would want to climb out of the cellar.

"Minute eighty three, and Lovisa have started to take more and more control of this match. Dancougar has used two of its subs already. We saw Stuart come off for Dickinson, the extra defender, and Pailsen is in for Tenkawa. Some fresh legs, but all they've been doing is try to contain that Lovisa attack."

"Surely, surely if there's justice, they'll get a goal here. They've done most of the attacking for the past fifteen minutes, unlucky to have had three shots go wide of the post, but not to put down what Baird's done, saving three shots that were on target."

"Mallard pacing the sideline, pondering his last move. It looks like Peter Klingenschmidt is preparing to come in. Until then, Rizzi will play on with their regulars. Franke and Lunz are up now, the through ball. Lunz shoots, and it's deflected wide for a corner. Adelson got a foot to it."

"Nine corners in this match for Lovisa, six in the second half. The fans on this end of the field are making some noise now."

"Meehan sends it into the box, and Baird punches it out. Looking to reset the attack is Indgaard, who passes it back to Meehan. Meehan sends another one into the box, and this is going to be caught by Baird. Franke was in there, but Baird came out and got it, and once again, Rizzi shuts the attack down."

"They can't seem to make that final push, Lovisa. They're getting excellent pressure, but it always fades at the last moment."

Minute eighty eight. The referee took a look at his watch. There wouldn't be much stoppage time. Mallard shot Peter a look, and the two headed over to the fourth official. Denilson took control of the ball and just hoofed it upfield and into touch. Saturday's number went up.

"And there it is, just as we were expecting. A minute plus stoppage time to play, and here comes Peter Klingenschmidt for Franklin Saturday. Rizzi is going to bet it all on this, their final sub of the match."

Peter jogged confidently onto the field. Russ stood with arms crossed on the sideline. The Lovisa 'keeper, Sievers, simply cracked his neck and got ready for the play. Hmm, he doesn't look the least bit worried, thought Russ. Is he hiding something? He clicked on his scouter. No, football level is normal, only around 500. It must be for them to be in last place.

The ball was thrown in by Hartwig. Peter was on the receiver in a flash, and he whipped the ball away. He knew that he couldn't place the shot as well from an angle, so he began to work towards the middle of the field. He shot past Indgaard and ignored his options to Mansfield and Whittaker. At thirty five yards, he was lined up for a shot and had room to wind up. Lovisa defenders, knowing what was coming, cleared a path.

"Say goodbyeeeeeee!" Peter shouted with glee as he began the kick.

Sievers tensed up. Russ blinked. Wait a minute... his football level is rising? 600... 700... 1000... and still... !! He reached out dramatically. "Peter, get closer! His football level's already over 2000!!"

Peter hesitated for just a moment as he heard Russ, resulting in a kick with lower power. It still went flying on goal at breakneck speed. With a mighty shout, Sievers threw up his hands. The ball made contact and spun there for a few seconds. Sievers braced himself and with one final push had it bounce clear without forcing him back.

"He... he got it?!" cried Peter. "No way!"

"The rebound!" yelled Russ. "Before he...!!" He cringed as he saw Peter and Sievers disappear into a blur. Impossible... don't tell me he was good for one massive play!

Peter reappeared ready to pound the ball with his head, but arrived at the same time that Sievers reacted with his own leap into the air. With his hands on the ball, Sievers smiled as they collided. The ball landed in the back of the net just as the referee's whistle blasted. Sievers had landed somewhere near the goal line with a cloud of dust settling over him. Peter had a dumbstruck look on his face. The referee had pulled a red.

"An incredible turn of events as the clock hits ninety minutes! Sievers not only makes the save on that cannonball kick, but then Klingenschmidt is shown the red for a blatant foul on the goalkeeper, Sievers!"

"And he absolutely deserves it, he goes after the ball even though Sievers had clearly already made the play."

Russ gritted his teeth as Peter walked off the field with fists clenched. He turned back to Sievers who was just getting up and dusting himself off. His football level's back down... he planned that move, didn't he? We were completely beaten!

"And the referee blows for full time. A hard-fought nil-nil draw between Dancougar and Lovisa, two teams already eliminated from this tournament, and neither will get much more to show for it from here."

And we close with... the disembodied narrator. "Perhaps they should be more worried about the opposition! Strong players still exist to defend their turf in this Turtle Cup, and more matches still remain. Can Russ handle Taeshan if the going gets rough?"

The St Mary's Catholic School Girls from Jeruselem had beaten the hosts Sel Appa at home, not bad considering they were playing a nation who was in the top 10 World Cup. With Sel Appa and then Starblaydia, they could have lost the last two games. But with a 2-0 win over Sel Appa, things were back on track.

Kate Sallad and her team marched proud off the field. Kate had mud in the hair, grass all over her strip and rather dirty knees from sliding around a lot. Her sister was also looking a bit grubby as it wasn't easy keeping out the Sel Appa defense. It was a lot hard work but in the end the girls did themselves proud.

After hitting the showers, the team had their final meeting before the big game against the "Purple Menace" in Starblaydia. They knew it was the big one, any Jeruselem vs Starblaydia game was big. Jeruselem were not safe with those Elves losing to the tricky Southern Northlanders. It was a good thing they had three potential points in a forfeit.

Kate Sallad was wearing a rather Kate Dallas dress ("slutty")
"OK team. It's the big one next, we aren't safe yet. We can't afford to lose to the Purple Menace. Girls, we need points out of this. I don't care if it's a draw, but I'd like a win. I know at the World Cup, we can't buy a win against them but outside the cup ... we have won. Girls, I don't want our fate to be decided by others. It's best we decide our own fate. Joshua didn't wait to take the Holy Land for the Jews, he march an army there and attacked the Canaanites. That's what I want to see, Israelites ... I want winners. Don't fear them Purple People Eaters! Remember we are on Crusade still, to conquer our enemies. Jeruselemites aren't passive bystanders of history, we make it. OK girls, we need a big effort for next game. I want everyone to put in 150%. we shall cast out those demons and throw them back into hell. We're not just girls, we're Jeruselem girls. Sure we maybe easy to get into the bedroom, but on the football field ... we should be fighting to the last second. That's all, something to think about we go to bed."

ANNOUNCER: College Gameday, brought to you by Construction Hut. When it needs to get done right, hut the hut!

JAKE: Welcome back to College Gameday, glad you could join us. Dee Torso and Dirk Spiceroad along for the ride, and we've reached the last matchday of the first round, with an asterisk that we'll go over later. But for the three teams still in the hunt for a second round spot, the key thing today is to just take care of business. Before that, though, we'll take a little bit of time to talk about the home team. The Rizzi Salamanders will take on the team from Taeshan tonight in Anila City. On paper, it's the third meeting between these two nations, but the composition will be very different. Your thoughts, guys, on this match.

DEE: It's a match that's not going to get a lot of attention, and rightly so, two teams that haven't really lived up to expectations and are sitting in the bottom half of the table. The big question marks for Rizzi tonight will be on offense. Klingenschmidt is out with a red card, and neither Stuart nor Saturday have generated many chances, excepting against Las Vitas. The midfield is going to have to step up if they get the opportunity, otherwise this is going to be another low-scoring affair.

DIRK: Yeah, the Wadawadabingo clan from Taeshan has been well represented in this lineup, and their teamwork has not really been questioned. They understand each other perfectly, they react well to each other, and they compliment each other's skill sets. The problem has been that their level of play has been below the tournament average, which is why you see them so low in the table. It's one thing to work well as a team, it's a completely different thing to be effective as a team.

DEE: But that's not to say that they don't have a chance, now; against Rizzi they'll be able to really show off some of what they do. They're going to have an easier time working against this defense, and because they're not going to see as much pressure, I think, they'll be able to settle down more and just play their game. It would not surprise me at all, guys, if this was their best game of the tournament. And that's the way you want to go out, anyway, with your head up high and with a result.

JAKE: Coach Mallard said earlier today he'd be happy if his boys could manage at least a draw, but we will see how that goes. But guys, when we look at the rest of the field, which is where the action is, we may yet see Dancougar be a determining factor in this tournament. If Southern Northland gets a replay, that match could be very interesting depending on how it all plays out.

DEE: You're absolutely right, Jake. As it stands, they're two points behind Valanora in fifth place with one game left, two if they get the replay. If they can keep pace, they're in a very good position to make a comeback and jump into the second round. But first, they have to take care of business against Sel Appa tonight. That's going to be hard to do. I don't think they have enough to get more than a tie.

DIRK: Valanora can't rest easy, either, they control their destiny right now. They have to be careful to take care of Lovisa tonight, because otherwise, Southern Northland has a shot. Remember, now, they hold that all-important head-to-head tiebreaker. If they leave the door open, then Southern Northland can squeeze in without needing a replay. But as you say, Sel Appa is going to be difficult to get past. But if they do, I think they definitely deserved a shot. That would give them two wins and a draw against the top four.

JAKE: So it looks like this, if they can't get a replay, then the game tonight is a must-win. If they can win that appeal, it gives them some options even if they do lose, but they'll need help, and that's not really a position they want to be in...

"I see dead pe...oh just an RP Cutoff..."

Valanora 4-0 Lovisa (Turtle Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/turtle_stadium.html))
Cafundeu 0-0 Qazox (NativeZone (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/nativezone.html))
Sel Appa 2-0 Sorthern Northland (Real Field (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/real_field.html))
Jeruselem 2-0 Starblaydia (Anila City Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/anila_city_stadium.html))
Taeshan 1-1 Dancougar (Grand Archduke Kirby I Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/grand_archduke_kirby_i_stadium.html))

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
↑ 1 Sel Appa 9 7 0 2 28 10 18 21
↓ 2 Cafundeu 9 6 2 1 25 11 14 20
↔ 3 Jeruselem 9 6 1 2 15 7 8 19
↔ 4 Valanora 9 5 3 1 26 11 15 18
-------------------------------------------------------------------
↔ 5 Sorthern Northland 8* 4 1 4 13 15 -2 13
↔ 6 Starblaydia 9 2 3 4 12 16 -4 9 (F)
↔ 7 Dancougar 8* 2 3 4 5 18 -13 9
↔ 8 Qazox 9 1 3 5 9 18 -9 6 (F)
↔ 9 Taeshan 9 1 3 5 8 21 -13 6
↔ 10 Lovisa 9 1 1 7 7 19 -12 4
*The Dancougar-Sorthern Northland match was not played and declared forfeit by Sorthern Northland and awarded to Dancougar.

Qualified
Eliminated

OOC Analysis:

Even with a rematch, Sorthern Northland cannot go through.
I'm pissed as hell I went through on top, but Sel Appans are ecstatic.
Amusing 21-20-19-18 top 4.
Commiserations to those who did not make it. Sorthern Northland especially gave a valiant, last-ditch effort.
More analysis will be available after the Cup is over due to national security concerns.


Second Round Matchups:
Matchday A
Sel Appa vs. Valanora (Turtle Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/turtle_stadium.html))
Cafundeu vs. Jeruselem (Anila City Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/anila_city_stadium.html))

Matchday B
Jeruselem vs. Valanora (NativeZone (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/nativezone.html))
Sel Appa vs. Cafundeu (Grand Archduke Kirby I Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/grand_archduke_kirby_i_stadium.html))

Matchday C
Valanora vs. Cafundeu (Roflcoptre Dome (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/roflcoptre_dome.html))
Jeruselem vs. Sel Appa (Real Field (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/real_field.html))

Good luck to my fellow qualifiers.

"Ramalamadingdong, Wadawadabingo... call them what you will, but they've controlled the tempo of this match. They get the goal in minute sixty one to go up on Rizzi, and it looks to be a good end for the team from Taeshan. We're down to two minutes to play, and they're just knocking it square in the midfield. Absolute confidence in each other, absolute confidence that they can close this out."

Peter paced the sideline. He was powerless to do anything thanks to his one match ban. "Damn it, we've been completely useless in the end!" he said, pounding his right fist into his left palm.

"Cool it, Peter, I can still go in," said Russ, rising to his feet.

"I thought you were going to wait for the chance to battle that Ben O'Bagels..." Peter said.

"Haven't you been paying attention to the scoreboard?" Russ answered. Peter turned and looked at the scorelines. "At this rate, a replay would be meaningless. Valanora will be in with points to spare."

"You really think they won't bother now?" Peter asked.

"Even if they did, it's just as well. I'll give Benny boy something to think about." Russ walked over to Mallard and they made their way to the fourth official. But it's a problem if it doesn't go out of bounds... A square ball to another Taeshan midfielder. Russ stomped the ground hard and at an angle, sending a ripple through the earth towards the ball. The ripple hit the ball just as it reached the player's foot, sending it into the air at an odd angle. It bounced off his shin and into touch.

Russ was waved onto the field as Saturday came off, yet again dejected. His shot at the national team was completely gone now. Two goals in eight games. Pathetic. Hopefully Whittaker would merit a second look by the committee. As he came off the field, something caught his eye in the stands. What the... Charles DuPont? What's he doing here? I thought he wasn't following the tournament...

Russ took the field and headed over to the sideline where Whittaker was preparing the throw-in. "Just throw it to me," he ordered. "I'll take care of things."

Whittaker threw it back to Russ, who immediately charged forward. The Wadawadabingos converged in an attempt to stop him. Only one guy... they could stop him! "You're no match for me!" Russ declared. A blur, he was past the first guy. He was in front of the next... or was he? He disappeared from view, only to reappear downfield.

"What kind of speed is that?" Whittaker murmured.

I won't make the same mistake Peter did against Lovisa, Russ thought and he zipped past the last defender. "Stop this, if you can!" he yelled. "This shot of mine... won't be denied!" He wound up. The 'keeper tensed up. And suddenly, Russ was gone. The goalie looked around and Russ reappeared right next to him in full stride. "Strength doesn't always win you points," he said, smiling. "I've won." The 'keeper watched helplessly as Russ stopped dead at the goal line and let the ball roll itself in.

"And just what you'd expect from the strongest of the two, Russ Pauli! He's got the game-tying goal as time expires, and Dancougar escapes again with a positive result! A 1-1 draw!"

Russ walked back to the bench as the players cleared off the field. The few fans who'd bothered to show up filed out. DuPont got up with a disappointed look on his face and left.

"Let's go, Peter," Russ said. "We're done here."

"And so the tournament ends for Dancougar... or does it? A final match may still await, but will either of them compete? Is this tired, sad attempt at a sidestory finally over? It's up to the courts, now!"

Qazox has finally left Sel Appa:

THANK GOD!

Jeruselem Government News

Purple Menace defeated!

Jeruselem beat Starblaydia ... no, it's real. Yes, not at the World Cup but still it was a victory. Jeruselem beat Starblaydia 2-0 at the Turtle cup to keep their place alive and our girls cemented their 3rd spot on the 1st round to progress to the 2nd round.

Our girls were fired up before the game with captain Kate Sallad firing up the troops (girls). In the first half, the girls fought hard but failed to land any sort of knockout punch despite some close calls. The team in purple kept a clean sheet despite the best efforts of our girls and it seems nothing would change.

In the 2nd half, things started as the first with our girls failing to score and team in purple holding firm, even making some inroads into the Jeruselem defense. The one-eyed Sarah Parker changed things with busting run to help Jeruselem get a corner. Jenny Sloan executed the perfect bicycle kick to finally land a goal against Starblaydia. The girls lifted and attempted to score the sealing goal but once against things stalled.

Starblaydia counter-attacked and girls were forced to defend hard. Jacinta Sallad had to head a few shots off the line, and succeeded despite her small stature. The second goal came from Dazzarina Intern who was bundled over in the penalty area by the opposition defense. Kate Sallad took charge of the kick and scored.

It was enough for our girls with a hard but fair 2-0 win. Now, the 2nd round awaits them. The best four play each other. Jeruselem look weak in the face of the other teams losing all of them except top team Sel Appa. But Jeruselem have earned a place so they aren't just making up the numbers.

The stats show we have a weak team with fewest goals scored but our defense was the best. This team is not the super attacking team we have seen but the girls do win games. The fight hard for everything, we don't expect an easy run into the final. People may think these girls look useless but they learn fast. They will make us proud even if they don't win this cup.

Valanora Express
Only 4th Best?

Well, according to the final table of the first group stage, the reserves are only the fourth best squad in the tournament. Rubbish! I say ray, absolute rubbish. Sel Appa, the hosts, are better than the Marauders? Nay, says I, or else they would of won our encounter. What about those crazy monopolists in Cafundeu? Nay again, as they would of risen to the occasion and gotten more than just a thrilling draw against our second side. What about those college girls from Jeruselem? Well, like the hosts, they fell at the hands of our side. Fourth best then? How about the best, that would be far more accurate. Only a single defeat in the entire campaign would also indicate that the green and black were better than their competition, as all other sides bar Cafundeu were defeated on at least two occasions. What about all the goals that the side has put in, doesn't that count for something? Only the hosts have more goals in favor of their side than our squad. Then only tied for third best in conceding, and my friends, all the signs are there that this squad has been the best performer in the competition.

Luckily for the squad and for you, the fans, there is still the oppurtunity to prove that definately. Another round of matches against the so called "better" squads, and if Elune be willing, a final to take home a trophy. We must remember that the squad had but practised twice before making their trip here, and that could explain the draws against the lesser foes in the begining of the competition, but when it mattered, Webber had this squad ready to go and with a definite purpose. Webber showed his brilliance when he switched Hall out for the more speedy Razov, and putting in the tougher Totez over the overly-aggresive Whitehurse. That small tweak to the line up has proved major dividends as Razov leads the squad in goals and Totez co-leads the squad in assists. His co-leader is the firm Alidare who is showing why he is looking like a good replacement for the retired Riot on the full side.

So move on good players, fans, and critics, this squad is not a mere fourth best. Webber and the lads and lasses will prove in the next two weeks why Valanora is one of the elite in the footballing world. Razov will show why Dunboor is considered to be the favorite in the highly competitive Cafundeu domestic league. And above all else, this squad will be fighting for their honor, and an elf fighting for honor is an elf who knows how to get things done.

Scorers
Ikles Razov - 8
Egypt Claire - 6
Ali Alidare - 4
Jamichel Totez - 4
Nathan Vorsco - 2
Heather Hall - 2

Article by Ron Santapa

All Aboard the RP Cutoff!

Sel Appa 3-4 Valanora (Turtle Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/turtle_stadium.html))
Cafundeu 0-0 Jeruselem (Anila City Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/anila_city_stadium.html))

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Valanora 1 1 0 0 4 3 1 3
2 Jeruselem 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 1
Cafundeu 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 1
4 Sel Appa 1 0 0 1 3 4 -1 0

Jeruselem Government News

Contrasting games light up Sel Appa

The 2nd round of the Turtle Cup in Sel Appa. With Jeruselem, Valanora, Cafundeu and the hosts all fighting it out, this is an open cup. They are no bad teams left. No wimpy teams, all are contenders.

Sel Appa crashed to thrilling defeat at the hands of Valanora (or "Elves"). The locals lost a heartbreaking game 3-4 at home to a superior side who had a little more firepower. The seven goal thriller was the game to watch as both side entertained the locals and tourists alike. Attack was the name of the game here, and the Elves proved to be the number one here despite Sel Appa making a fantastic attempt.

The other game was thrilling but scoreless with Cafundeu and our girls unable to break a deadlock. Cafundeu should have won this game but out girls would not allow that to happen easily. Both teams got down to the nitty gritty and fought hard to stop each other from scoring. The referee wasn't helping either, blowing the whistle when each side looked like it was likely to score.

Kate Sallad had a busy day toiling with no reward. Several dodgy off-side calls didn't help the Jeruselem cause as they attempted to score that golden goal. Both teams had their chance to score but either the defense got in the way or the ref found something to spoil it all.

In the end both sides were left with one point but they knew they needed to win. Our girls didn't have best game but it wasn't a loss.

The girls take on the Elves next while Sel Appa must regroup against Cafundeu. At the moment, the Elves seem to be in the box seat while others must fight harder to gain those golden points.

Sel Appa 3-4 Valanora (Turtle Stadium)
Cafundeu 0-0 Jeruselem (Anila City Stadium)

TEAM FACES DIFFICULTIES IN LAST GAME

The form of the Cafundelense B National Team is falling. The team started the Turtle Cup with good performances and big wins, surprising everyone. Players like Moreira, Giovanni and Careca can be already considered players of the main National Team after their good performances in this competition. But in the more recent games things are changing. The team is facing many difficulties to win games, and lost precious points.

In today's game against Jeruselem, it happened. The team missed many good opportunities and couldn't leave the stadium with the positive result. Coach Rivaldo Sodré tried to make changes even in the formation to see if the team could react in a positive way, but it didn't work. Now, the team will have to train hard if it wants to win the Turtle Cup, as opponents like Sel Appa and Valanora are the next ones that the Monopolists will face.

CAFUNDÉU 0x0 JERUSELEM

Place: Anila City Stadium, in Anila City.
Attendance: 64,550 people.
Referee: Mandrack Sobrinho (Starblaydia).
WOTM: Gale Megsie (Jeruselem).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Júlio Sampa; Alex, Conceição and Vasco; Vital (Zé Sho 64'), Silvinho, Silveira (Marossi 64'), Giovanni and Moreira; Careca (Rafinha 77') and Rubiano.
Coach: Rivaldo Sodré.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/jeruselem.png JERUSELEM: Megsie; J.Sallad, Intern (Crantz 68'), Hoddess and Wayne; K.Sallad, Falk, Shitz (Duffle 80') and Minty; Sloan and Foobard (Stiks 45').
Coach: Sister Marsha.

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Cafundéu - formation for the game against Sel Appa: Júlio Sampa; Vital, Silvinho, Alex and Conceição; Silveira, Zé Sho, Giovanni and Moreira; Careca and Rubiano.
Coach: Rivaldo Sodré.
Style of +3

Match's Referee: Paul Milk (Qazox).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Goalscorers:

8- Careca
5- Rubiano
4- Moreira
2- Giovanni, Danilo Sampa
1- Marossi, Silveira, Silvinho, Vasco

Valanora Express
Identity

What is in a name, an identity? Is it how we see ourselves compared to the rest of the world, or is it how the rest of the world sees us? I guess that all depends on the situation and those you are asking. As for the identity of this squad that Webber has for the Cup, it is one of perservance. Despite the struggles the team has had, they have always found a way back, a way forward, and moving closer to their goals. Why shouldn't they continue to do so? All of these players are fighting for the greatest of honors in representing their country in the next World Cup. What greater honor is there than that for a football player, what greater achievement for the individual? So it was with great justice and perservance that the Green and Black prevailed over the detirmined but futile attempts of Sel Appa to upend the squad's hope of a trip to the final and a victory of the Cup.

Up next are the kids of Jeruselem. To be frank, they are simply overmatched when compared on an individual basis to the Marauders. They are only kids going up against seasoned veterans. In theory, this should be another performance of dominance that was seen in the first group stage, but I do have a very wary feeling about this match. May it be that it is because the High Priestess is allowing the former Jeruselem queen to be watching the match, or just a bad case of nerves, but I do feel like the squad could be upset in this match. If my feelings prove to be false, then advancement to the final is all but guaranteed, and the difficult match with Cafundeu. Such a situation would be best, as Cafundeu is a very dangerous squad, as evidence by their place here and their consistantly strong showings over the last several World Cups.

Valanora 4
Egypt Claire (12)
Ali Alidare (40)
Ikles Razov (66)
Selain Azgarl (70)

Sel Appa 3
Lenny Nkuma (24, 64, 90+)

Scorers
Ikles Razov - 9
Egypt Claire - 7
Ali Alidare - 5
Jamichel Totez - 4
Nathan Vorsco - 2
Heather Hall - 2
Selain Azgarl - 1

Article by Ron Santapa

Jeruselem Government News

Queen Kate proud of her clone fan

Former Queen of Jeruselem, Kate Dallas will be watching her biggest fan Kate Sallad lead the Turtle Cup team today. Kate Sallad, named after Kate Dallas, is leading the team well and following her hero.

Queen Jacinta Sasha Dallas got a message for the Turtle cup team from her sister
"She still watches some games. She's proud of our team of girls and wishes she could be on the field. She sees a lot of herself in Kate Sallad. I too an proud of our team and I'm jealous of Jacinta Sallad, who plays football better than I. Kate wishes the best for our team. She was once like those girls. It reminds of her school days when she was a young girl growing up. Go girls!"

Sister Marsha didn't reveal much about the Jeruselem gameplan only saying
"I haven't worked it out yet, I''d better do something now!"

"Use the RP Cutoff, Sel."

Jeruselem 3-1 Valanora (NativeZone (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/nativezone.html))
Sel Appa 2-4 Cafundeu (Grand Archduke Kirby I Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/grand_archduke_kirby_i_stadium.html))

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Cafundeu 2 1 1 0 4 2 2 4 (F)
2 Jeruselem 2 1 1 0 3 1 2 4
3 Valanora 2 1 0 1 5 6 -1 3
4 Sel Appa 2 0 0 2 5 8 -3 0
Qualified
Eliminated

Jeruselem Government News

St Mary's Catholic Girls School Analysis

Today a team of girls from the St Mary's Catholic Girls School beat Valanora 3-1 at the Turtle Cup. Considering the girls lost 0-3 last time they played at the Turtle Cup, this was a big turn around. In the other game, the Monopolists beat the home side 4-2 to end the hopes of Sel Appa winning their own cup on home soil.

Today we look at the St Mary's Catholic Girls School, and what they are doing to breed up such good football players. It is one of Jeruselem's oldest schools founded by a group of Catholic Nuns for the education of Catholic families. The school wasn't well known outside Jeruselem as it was just another school in the Jeruselem education system.

The school teaches several thousand students and is well funded for it's size. Facilities include a fine football field which doubles up as their athletics facility. The school is open to all Catholic girls from any background including the poor people of Jeruselem. Famous students of this school include Dazza, Kate and Jacinta Dallas as well as Scarlet Ferris. Princess Marie Antonette Dallas is newest Dallas to be at this school.

St Marys is not foreign to sending it's students to international competitions. In the past, teams of schoolgirls have been sent out with varying degrees of success. While the girls have lived up to their reputation as rather less than perfect girls who like a good time, the pedigree of the girls being sent as footballers is not in dispute.

Quite a few girls from this school have ended in the World Cup teams including the infamous Dallas girls. So what's the secret? How does this school succeed?

Each student at the school gets a physcial checkup before being allowed to become a student. Any students of exceptional physical ability get placed on a special program to determine if they can be put into any of school's sports teams. Most "normal" students don't get this chance - only the best girls. Hence the school funnels it's best girls into programmes early and get trained for better performance. Students can ask to join these programs but they need to be screened first.

At the end of this, the school trains up a pool of good talent and as they progress, they get better with professional training. The Nuns at school aren't your average Nuns either. They are trained as Nuns but also if they have physical ability, then get put into training sports girls too. Hence a lot of the Nuns at the school are multi-disciplined with a lot of skills they can apply to the outside world.

A lot of "closed" religous schools never seem to succeed in producing sports stars of the future. The open secular nature of St Marys is different. They live and breath in the real world while maintaining their religious nature. The girls we see at the Turtle Cup aren't just a bunch of girl, they have been chosen through a system which has selected the best girls and found the best out of those. The end result is a group girls with potential to be World Cup players. If you see a Sallad girl joining the elite of Dallas girls, don't be surprised.

TEAM SHOWS REACTION POWER IN GAME AGAINST HOSTS

Remember that we said that our National Team wasn't playing in top form in the last games? It nearly happened today again. The game against the hosts was very important for the future of our B National Team, as the team needed to get a good result in this game to continue fighting for the title. But things didn't start well. Playing very badly, Cafundéu suffered two goals before the twentieth minute. Tartaruga first, in the second minute, and Ranca Toco star Karl Gepardo scored later (a beautiful goal, by the way).

The supporters couldn't believe. The game seemed lost before the middle of the first half. Seemed... but it wasn't. Moreira scored the goal which motivated the players, which gave them the confidence to play well and look for the victory. Before the end of the first half, Silveira shot from outside the area and scored the second goal. But a draw wasn't enough for both teams, they needed the victory. So, changes were made during halftime, and the teams returned to play a very open and disputed second half.

But the Monopolists needed only two minutes to take the lead, as Zé Sho took the ball from Vasou (this one will have problems with the coach later, as it was a serious mistake), invaded the area and shot to score the second goal. Sel Appa tried to react, had some good attacks, complained of a penalty that the Qazoxian referee ignored (he showed a card to Tartaruga for simulating a penalty), but couldn't score. Then, in the last minutes of the game, Rafinha scored to secure the victory.

CAFUNDÉU 4x2 SEL APPA

Place: Grand Archduke Kirby I Stadium, in Anila City.
Attendance: 83,582 people.
Referee: Paul Milk (Qazox).
MOTM: Moreira (Cafundéu).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Júlio Sampa; Vital, Russo (Valtinho 45'), Alex and Conceição; Silveira, Zé Sho, Giovanni (Marossi 45') and Moreira; Careca and Rubiano (Rafinha 68').
Coach: Rivaldo Sodré.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/sel_appa.png SEL APPA: Bokegalbaatar; Plank and Burton; Kolts (Bari 72'), Vasou and Ghotiolo; Kopel (Dubrov 67'), Morreau, Tartaruga, Nkuma (Schmidt 17') and Gepardo.
Coach: Estevez.

Goals:CAF: Moreira 22' , Silveira 40' , Zé Sho 47' , Rafinha 88'.
SEA: Tartaruga 2' , Gepardo 16'.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cafundéu - formation for the game against Valanora: Júlio Sampa; Vital, Silvinho, Alex and Richard; Silveira, Zé Sho, Giovanni and Moreira; Careca and Rubiano.
Coach: Rivaldo Sodré.
Style of +3

Match's Referee: Marcus Neif (Lovisa).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Goalscorers:

8- Careca
5- Rubiano, Moreira
2- Danilo Sampa, Giovanni, Silveira
1- Marossi, Silvinho, Vasco, Zé Sho, Rafinha

Valanora Express
Here comes The Sword

Well I hate to say it, but I was completely right about the match with the girls of Jeruselem, as the Maruaders were turned upside down and now have a do or die situation with Cafundeu to finish out the second phase. The squad was severly lethargic in their attack, and showed signs of overconfidence as they conceded an early howler in the twenty-second. Jacinta Sallad let go a poor effort from forty yards out with Carte in perfect position to collect when it hit a dibit in the pitch and bounced over the keepers hands and into the net. The faithful who did make the trip fidgeted a little bit, as the squad was playing really piss poor football.

Things looked to be a little brighter when Alidare equalized with three minutes before the half. Totez played the ball in front of Claw, who brought it down the wing and then turned past Hoddess. After clearing her marker, she sent in a high cross that Razov met with a precision siccor kick, yet Rushdie was there to parry it away. However Alidare collected the loose ball and quickly moved it to his strong foot and blasted it low, through Razov's legs and past Rushdie's head. The Navy Wave let out a good cry of celebration, coupled with distinct sighs of relief. As the half closed, it was clear on the faces that despite the equalizer, the Jerus had the full momentum.

Things began to detoriate and quickly in the second half. Vorsco came on for a invisable House at the half, and was playing a pretty solid game. Yet when the versatile midfielder came in late against Dale Minty, the ref inexplicably reached for a striaght red and reduced the side down to ten men. Though down a man, the backline would hold up for sixteen more minutes before Jacinata would once again find the net, this time on a deflection following a corner. With ten minutes left, the side tried to show their class and dominated possession, sending attack after attack into the Jeruselem end. Yet a costly mix up on a clearing attempt between Carte and Azgarl ended up with the ball careeming off the centerback's head and into the net to seal the win for Jeruselem.

As a result, the survival of the squad's hope for a trip to the final now comes down to two of the most powerful footballing nations both fighting for the victory. In a dream scenario, both sides would be meeting in the Final and this match would be mute. Yet here we are and all signs point to the Cafundeulese nabbing a spot in the final. Webber is going to have to inspire the lads quite a bit to shake off that shock defeat, and have the tactics set up to capitalize on the weaknesses that Cafundeu has shown. The outlook is grim, but if there is still magic to be found out of this squad, Razov shall be the one to find it.

Valanora 1
Ali Alidare (42)
Nathan Vorsco [] (63)

Jeruselem 3
Jacinta Sallad (22, 79)
Selain Azgarl (84) O.G.

Scorers
Ikles Razov - 9
Egypt Claire - 7
Ali Alidare - 6
Jamichel Totez - 4
Nathan Vorsco - 2
Heather Hall - 2
Selain Azgarl - 1

Article by Ron Santapa

"I'm sick and tired of these motherf**king RP Cutoffs on this motherf**king thread!"

Valanora 0-0 Cafundeu (Roflcoptre Dome (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/roflcoptre_dome.html))
Jeruselem 3-2 Sel Appa (Real Field (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/real_field.html))

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Jeruselem 3 2 1 0 6 3 3 7
2 Cafundeu 3 1 2 0 4 2 2 5
3 Valanora 3 1 1 1 5 6 -1 4
4 Sel Appa 3 0 0 3 7 11 -4 0

Qualified
Eliminated

Congratulations to Jeruselem and Cafundeu, who now head to the final. Good luck to both.

(Wow, 3 losses Sel Appa fails epicly)

Jeruselem Government News

Sister Marsha upstages guides team into final of Turtle Cup

Jeruselem won the 2nd round of the Turtle with a 3-2 win over the unlucky host team Sel Appa who have won a 2nd round game despite scoring 7 goals. The win wasn't unexpected as Sel Appa's defense has been a bit too leaky and it showed again today. Valanora had to contend with a scoreless draw with the Monopolists as they ground out a scoreless draw, which eliminated Valanora.

So it's the Monopolists vs St Mary's school team for the final! Don't forget this team is not a Jeruselem professional team, but a group of girls on work experience. They came to learn things about the real world. They have.

They are learning things about themselves as they took on the best junior teams in the world. The big adventure should have ended early but somehow the girl have fought their way into the final against the odds. The final should have been a Sel Appa vs Valanora one based on rank but the Monopolists and Jeruselemites have proven rank isn't everything and face each on the final again.

Monopolists beat our girls 3-2 in the first round but we managed to hold a scoreless draw in the 2nd round. So the Monopolists should be favourites for winning the first Turtle Cup based on record. However, looking at the 2nd round - Jeruselem beat Valanora and Sel Appa so they aren't in the final on luck but merit.

Both teams have a stingy defense and a potent offense. The Monopolists do have a better attack but Jeruselem defense is one the best in this cup. Picking a winner is hard as both teams didn't make final via luck. Both have been solid teams and not faltered under pressure.

Sister Marsha said
"All the girls will be getting an A+++ for this cup for their grades. Yes, they are still Catholic schoolgirls but you know they have done more than what we have asked for just work experience. I was afraid about them treating this as holiday but they have worked really hard. They have done far better than I could have expected. We picked the leader and they've followed their leader. I know that Kate Sallad is a bit of nuisance but she's still our team captain who's proven to be quite effective. She's a Kate Dallas - a leader. She's a fighter and we won't be taking it easy in the final. It's the last game and we are going put everything into the game. They maybe girls but girls can play football. I'm proud of my girls."

Already, clubs have been ringing up St Mary's about hiring Sister Marsha to head up their junior team. The quietly spoken shy Nun will be much in demand in the future and even the male-only Syrian North have asked about Sister Marsha. Maybe, a new style of coach is out there. We've had Monks coaching teams but Nuns are new thing - maybe even a new trend.

(OOC: Jeruselem, if the final would be based on rankings, it would be Valanora [3rd] x Cafundéu [8th])

A BORING WAY TO GO TO THE FINAL

In the last game of the second stage of the Turtle Cup, the Monopolists faced Valanora. Of course everyone knew that it was going to be a very difficult game, but the players were motivated to perform well. After all, they are fighting for many things. For the Turtle Cup, for more recognition in Cafundéu, and for a place in the main national team of the red-black team which will play World Cup 40 qualifiers.

But the Valanora players wanted the same things too, and showed an impressive attitude, battling for the ball. So, the game was very difficult, and both teams had difficulties to attack properly. There weren't many shots to the goals, the ball stayed too much time in the middle of the field. In the end, a boring 0x0 result was the final scoreline. It wasn't what the supporters expected, but it was enough to put Cafundéu in the final.

The final will be against the girls from Jeruselem. In this Turtle Cup, the Monopolists have a positive record of one win and one draw.

CAFUNDÉU 0x0 VALANORA

Place: Roflcoptre Dome, in Roflton.
Attendance: 55,610 people.
Referee: Marcus Neif (Lovisa).
MOTM: Zé Sho (Cafundéu).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Júlio Sampa; Vital, Silvinho, Alex and Richard; Silveira, Zé Sho, Giovanni (Marossi 33') and Moreira; Careca (Danilo Sampa 60') and Rubiano (Tobias 82').
Coach: Rivaldo Sodré.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/elves_security_forces.png VALANORA: Carte; Mar, Mars and Sorano; House (Fu 78'), Vorsco (Xi 45'), Alidare, Claw and Sonja; Razov and Claire (Hall 45').
Coach: Asanta Webber.

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Cafundéu - formation for the final: Júlio Sampa; Vital, Silvinho, Alex and Conceição; Silveira, Zé Sho, Marossi and Moreira; Careca and Rubiano.
Coach: Rivaldo Sodré.
Style of +3

Match's Referee: Merius Saladino (Valanora).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Goalscorers:

8- Careca
5- Rubiano, Moreira
2- Danilo Sampa, Giovanni, Silveira
1- Marossi, Silvinho, Vasco, Zé Sho, Rafinha

"Sel, you fail at life. The RP Cutoff was 25 hours ago."
"I know. I have no idea what happened. I remember thinking about it half an hour or so before scoretime..."

Cafundeu 3-4 Jeruselem (Turtle Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/turtle_stadium.html))

Congratulations to Jeruselem, who has one the first-ever Turtle Cup! They have won this fabulous trophy, cast in pure Sel Appan bronze, the world's finest.

http://www.preciouspebbles.com/images/Bronze_Turtle_A.jpg

*official ceremony*

Jeruselem Government News

Work experience girls bring home the Turtle Cup

Sister Marsha and her bunch of girls from the St Mary's Catholic Girls School have taken something back from Sel Appa. Sister Marsha's team took the first ever Turtle Cup too!

The final was not one of those boring ones. Both sides came to play football and it seemed defense was not part of the plan. The Monopolists were determined to win but our girls weren't there as statues either. Kate Sallad lead her girls with the usual noise associated with teenage girls.

The game started and ended fast as both sides never stopped. The Monopolists started the better with an indiscretion by Jacinta Sallad (despiter her protests) giving her opponents a free kick. They scored from the set move and Jeruselem were 0-1 down. The girls responded hitting back to level the score with Jenny Sloan sending in a low header after earning a corner.

Before half-time, the Monopolists restored their lead using their height advantage over our little girls. The girls failed to deal with floating header allowing a simple goal to be scored off a Monopolist striker.

The girls ran out in the second half with a new resolve. The midfield aggressively sought out to deny the opponent the ball with Kate Sallad leading attacks on the opponents half. It was like watching Kate Dallas at the World Cup, as both girls seem to operate in a similar way. Daisy Duffle latched into a Sallad pass and blasted home the equaliser for 2 ALL game.

Things seem go wrong with Jacinta Sallad limping off the field and getting replaced. The Monopolists pounced on this, taking advantage of a newly arranged defense to take back the lead 3-2 when another set move undid our girls.

But our girls never gave up the cause, as Celina Falk (or "Kitty") sent the game back into equalibrium with fantastic solo effort, pussy-footing around some of her opponents and making them look clumsy. The girls were back on equal terms and it was anyone's game.

Nearing full-time both sides put in one big effort to score and the girls got down to fighting off Monopolist attacks without Jacinta Sallad who had to watch from the sidelines. We all know Kate Sallad is Dazza fan and has studies her career. The game was decided on a usual Dazza moment when Kate attempted to breaking through the defense but got into a sandwich situation and got flattened on the process.

The defenders claimed Kate was doing a "Dazza dive" but the referee decided otherwise. Kate Sallad picked herself up and took her own free kick. She floated the ball into the penalty area where the mad scramble failed to clear the ball, giving the one-eyed Sarah Parker a free punt at goal which she didn't miss.

It was all to much for the Monopolists, as the whistle blew. The girl carried on as girls do and Sister Marsha was crying for joy. We don't know why God allowed this but it seems everything was all set-up for a Jeruselem win. The girls had won. It's not everyday a team of girls sent to learn about the real world come home with a cup for their efforts.