NationStates Jolt Archive

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/wcoih5.png

OFFICIAL HAIKU OF THE WCOH5 RP THREAD
A role-playing thread
Is this, in which one may find
Role-plays of hockey

---

Rosters, OOC and other miscellaneous stuff go here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=549076).

WORLD CHAMPIONS.. has a rather nice ring to it doesn't it?

Qazox as World Champions in anything has an even nicer ring to it.

But alas, the team that won the 4th World Cup of Hockey all retired and now it's time for the younger generation to take over.

As with any competition, there's questions and answers. The answers usually come out during play, mostly the wrong ones. But the questions still remain.

Question One: Can Qazox repeat as Champions?
Answer: Maybe. The team is young, but being the Champions puts a bulls-eye on you from the start and every team gives you their best shot.

Question Two: Who else, besides Qazox, are the favorites in win this Cup?
Answer: Oliverry, whom we beat to win the title; Kelssek, the hosts; Bazalonia, 3rd place finishers last time out; and Quakmybush, who are one of the better teams in the World.

Question Three: Who do the Pheonix play, where do they play them, and when?
Answer: The pool schedule is below

Feb 9- Candelaria and Marquez (Ulyanov)
Feb 11- Kura-Pelland (Burnaby)
Feb 17- Wezleana (Neorvins)


Question Four: Which teams will advance to the 2nd round?
Answer: Based on the groups, the following teams should advance:
Group A
Bazalonia and Squornshelous

Group B
Plutoni and Philimbesi

Group C
Kelssek and McPsychoville

Group D
The Archregimancy and Quakmybush

Group E
Qazox and Kura-Pelland

Group F
Eightgraderistan and Brutland and Norden

Group G
Elves Security Forces and Taeshan

Group H
Oliverry and Magnus Valerius


Question Five: So who exactly plays for the team now?
Answer: The roster is here: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=13429157&posted=1#post13429157

Question Six: Where do you think the Pheonix will finish?
Answer: They will win their group, and make it to the semifinals. Past that, They could finish anywhere from 4th to repeat champions.

Woot! Wez in da Cup of Hockey!

Gonna win da hole ting and get the bling!

Sched is B-low and Playerz listed in other Thread.


Brutland and Norden vs. Eighthgraderistan
Eighthgraderistan vs. Krasslor
Eighthgraderistan vs. The platypus people

Green wombat don't know much about hockey, but are willing to try to win at least one game.

Walruses in the World Cup of Hockey??

Damn right there are.

How will they do?

Who cares? They're walruses, that can hold hockey sticks.

Why the wierd names?

Best translations we can get from them talking.

The walruses can talk?

In Walrus, not English.

Why Walruses?

Why not?

The organising committee pondered the Prux teamsheet with some interest.

"Are they the eggmen?"

"Well, last night there was that movie on about the monkey playing hockey. I don't see why they wouldn't do well, even."

"No, answer me, Evan, are they the eggmen?"

"Well I am certainly not the eggman."

"Eggs? I could go for some eggs. Haven't had breakfast yet." said the secretary.

"It's 3pm," her boss said.

"See how hard I'm working?" she replied.

Meanwhile, Evan sighed and gave in. "Yes, they are the eggmen."

"No, they are the walrus. Goo goo ka joo. YES! I win! Whoo!"

Evan leaned over to the secretary and asked, "Is it just me or is office life here on the verge of becoming a bizzarre sitcom?"

---

Meanwhile the security planning committee was trying to calm the apoplectic Laneux police chief, who insisted that "having Bai Lung, the country full of people with a propensity to set everything on fire when angered by practically anything from government corruption to a gay pride parade to a new Japanese restaurant opening to unsatisfactory toilet cleaniness, and having them play against McPsychoville... leads me to believe you are the psychos, you crazy dickheads! You just stuck them out here so if there was a riot they wouldn't break anything important, right?!"

More World Cup of Hockey Questions.


Question Seven: What are the odds, purely for entertainment value of course, for the WCoH5?
Answer: The latest odds for each team, From the Joehio Casino and Hotel are below.

ODDS TO WIN THE 5TH WORLD CUP OF HOCKEY
Oliverry 7-3
QAZOX 3-1
Milchama 9-2
Kelssek 5-1
Quakmybush 8-1
ESF 9-1
Squornshelous 10-1
Bazalonia 14-1
Plutoni 18-1
Kura-Pelland 18-1
Brutland and Norden 25-1
Taeshan 25-1
Philimbesi 30-1
Corneliu 30-1
The Archregimacy 30-1
Eighthgraderistan 35-1
McPsychoville 35-1
Lovisa 40-1
Magnus Valerius 40-1
Candelaria and Marquez 40-1
Mallatarsland 42-1
Prux 50-1
Green wombat 50-1
Krasslor 60-1
Cave Johnson 70-1
Turkemimbeliminstein 72-1
NoShitia 75-1
Bai Lung 80-1
Dannistaan 80-1
Wezleana 80-1
The platypus people 100-1
Dundonian 100-1
Neue Schottland 100-1


Question Eight: How can I watch the World Cup of Hockey?
Answer: If you are in Qazox, or the Q-continuum, QSPN2 will carry every Qazox match, live. QSPNU will carry every match, every day from 6 am to 12 am, and QSPN will re-broadcast the best game of the day at 3am to 5am. QSPN.com will carry a live feed from Kelssek with enchanced commentary from the opening faceoff to the medal ceremony. Those living in Green wombat, taeshan and Prux, QSPNClassic will carry each of your teams games live. For those who have Q-Dish Network, please check your local listings for the network that will carry your team's games.

Question Nine: Any bold Predictions about this Cup?
Answer: A few. #1- Kelssek will not advance past the quarterfinals. #2- Bazalonia will advance to the Semifinals and #3- Qazox will lose a Pool Play match.

THE MONASTIC TIMES

ARCHREGIMANCY ENTERS ICE HOCKEY TOURNAMENT
Arctic Monasteries to the Fore

By Fr. Kyrill the Frostbitten

Desert hermits and residents of warmer monasteries alike awoke today astounded to hear that the Archregimancy not only had a national Ice Hockey team, but that said team had entered a 'Hockey World Cup'.

While the nation usually temporarily sets aside its most robust theological disputes for the continuing Football World Cup, this Hockey World Cup is believed to be of more regional interest, with the entirety of the team drawn from the Slavic and Arctic monasteries. "They have a lot of frozen ponds to practice on up there" said a senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity.

It is believed that the team's hockey sticks have been handcarved from the mighty native birches of the northern forests, while their skates are handmade from the tusks of naturally-deceased walruses. Their liturgical robes, while bulky, are warm and cosy, and should keep our God-fearing team safe from the frostbite that claimed three of this reporter's toes during last year's winter vigil.

Neue Schottland's team...a Dark Horse?

NEUE GLASGVA-

(NS Associated Press)


Head Coach Daniel Lavergne addressed the media today in regards to the nation's first entry in the World Cup of Hockey. "We have a tough challenge ahead of us," he said. "These teams are good, but I think we're going to surprise someone this year." The Neue Schottland team is expected to finish last amongst the 32 teams involved, and has thus been given 100-1 odds at most casinos. As a first year team, not much is expected of the group simply because no one really knows anything about this team. In fact, the team has only been training together for the past two weeks. "We had a lot of guys playing in foreign leagues that are just now coming back because their season is over, so we haven't really had much time to practice" Coach Lavergne said. The real question is whether this rag-tag group of players can get things pulled together to win any of its first 3 games. "All we have to do is win 2 games," Lavergne said, "and we can move on to the next round. I think we really have a good shot at this, because no one expects us to win. If you don't respect the other team, you're going to lose the game. That's just hockey."

Neue Schottland's 3 games will be televised on KNSL, the nation's largest television network, which reaches about 719 million of Neue Schottland's population of just over 800 million.

prologue to "Managing the Machines", an edited version of Julian Lobachevsky's diary

We were so close.

Not to winning the thing. Getting to the quarterfinals was great, amazing, I was proud to be a part of that. We all were. That team was something different, something coming together.

We-Plutoni-had finally pulled it off. Independent, founders of our own region. The hockey team was talented, on the rise, all this great stuff.

I should have known it couldn't last.

We were heralded for some time and retreated back into our quiet existence, eventually withdrawing from the United Nations. The issues of daily life passed us by: the robots were voting and we were all happy.

And then, hockey season rolled around again. I didn't even know we were coming back-maybe I could have gotten the old team together, found some new blood-painful, grotesque, but such a human thing.

Then, the backlash. We were acclaimed by the humanizts, the ideologues (mostly second-generation children who didn't remember a time before Plutoni) who decried artificial intelligence. Offending robots around here is not a good idea, of course, so they set out to prove they were just as good as us-or better. A team of androids was created to return to Kelssek.

And I-the only person around here who knows how to win hockey games and count up to six-became the manager.

Yes, I'm insane.

Valanora Express
Resurgance or Regression?

That question will be on the mind of every Calcutta fan this morning as the national team prepares once again to strut their stuff in the Fifth World Cup of Hockey. After a dissapointing performance last tournament, which could be why the EHL has once again been removed from regular programming, has fans wondering if the rest of the world has caught up to them in the game. Or if the squad just merely used the absence of many hockey power nations from the first few tournaments to lure themselves into a false sence of superiority. Be it as we are elves, the latter could be quite possible, espicially when you factor in the success the football national team has had. This tournament will be crucial for the game inside the country, another poor showing could all but kill what remains of the casual supporters and may even have a few of the die hard fans switch over to the more successful football team.

Yet the draw favors the squad rebounding from their funk, as it were, as only the crazy kids of Taeshan have any hope of taking points off this line up. Granted it remains unchanged, which does give question as to why the VSC as yet to interfere, this roster is still quite stacked in talent and could very well be enough to take the title. Sergei Osefrus is going to have to prove once again that he is a threat to score anytime the puck comes towards him, and Walker will have his leadership questioned. Yet I do believe that this squad can get it done, though our goaltending situation does give me pause when I try to decide if this is a group of elite players.

Overall, I think the squad will finish with two wins and an overtime loss in the group stage. The country has too much vested in this tournament to let themselves be victims to unneeded upsets. The squad will show a resolve and a detirmination that has been lacking since the first edition of this tournament. The games will be close, but our high powered offence and our bend but don't break defence will be enough to push our competitors down and keep the Calcuttas headed hopefully towards a finals appearance, and save this great sport inside the nation.

Article by Jamie Kurrie

“…iss of life, but was later arrested after falling foul of Payne Island’s bestiality laws. He was released on bail on Tuesday, but is not expected to be charged with further offences.”

“Falling fowl, there…”

“Yes.”

“Falling – falling fowl…”

“Yes, Greg. Sport now; and news of a sparkling comeback for Radyukevich in the CMSC in a moment, but first. You may not have noticed, but C&M will be represented in yet another sporting world cup next week when the fifth world cup in ice hockey kicks off.”

“Absolutely Jen, and squad manager Seb Mulrooney is quietly confident about his team’s chances in a sport most Candelariasians couldn’t give a puck about.”

“Yes, over the next few weeks we’ll all be learning to tell our hash marks from our neck guards and our long bombs from our left wing locks – and not only that but a load of players that not one of you will have heard of, or in many cases even know socially. Lizzy Capper is in Ulya–”

“Yes thank you Jenny! I’m in Ulyanov, Kelssek, a country synonymous with ice hockey and the hosts once again of the World Cup! And it’s here in the shadow of the city’s ancient mosque that C&M will play their first ever ice hockey international! And they’ll be kicking off, or dropping the puck, or whatever, with the most difficult challenge of them all, against the reigning champions and most experts’ favourites, Qazox!

“It’s a match in which our motley band of amateurs will each have to have the game of their lives if they are to have any hope of a result, though Mulrooney will be aware that time has not been kind to the WC4-winning team and it will be an inexperienced unit that test our collection of ice skaters, plumbers and people with a granny who once spent a summer in Albrecht.

“Their fate may well rest on the second match, against Wezleana in Vickery. Sporting newcomers, little is known nor expected of a country whose primary international focus thus far has been on encouraging the UN to outlaw alcohol.

“All that means that second place in the group, and a quarter-final spot, should come down to the final game in Mazinaw, for the continuation of a sporting rivalry threatening to become more dangerous that a neutron missile. Just months after the Blue Sticks upset the pundits and the bookies to knock their Kura-Pellandi counterparts out of the World Championship in Field Hockey, their frozen friends will get the chance to do just the same.

“Once again, the Vircais outfit are favourites though both countries are ice hockey virgins. What is certain though is that by the time they play, the likes of Xavier Deadman, William De Mai, Tim Bobo and the Gerard brothers will be household names in the Candelarias, and TTO-Sport are hoping for one of the biggest audiences to date for that deciding game – surpassing even the prime-time Parwood City v United Trilan Corganen Championship match featuring C&M soccer stars Ramiro Novo and Ozzy Stefano.

“The Kura-Pellandi community in the Candelarias – a sackful of footballers and their families and a handful of geologists on Green Island – would be advised to batten down the hatches, but one young woman will be guaranteed a good seat if she opts to watch the match at her local. The former field hockey umpire Louisa Giles is widely credited with playing a major part in helping C&M to a four-one win over the Turkic Shahdom – a result deemed so unlikely that it resulted in widespread protests and effigy-burnings in the Shahdom and may have contributed to its collapse as a functioning state soon after. C&M ended up qualifying from the group, playing the nation of her birth in the quarter-finals and knocking them out three-two. Giles took the opportunity to quietly slip away from Vircais, and recently made it all the way to the quarter-finals – of course – of TTO’s own Dancing with the Stars, despite continued allegations of match fixing and rumours of intimate mid-tournament relations with the Orean Three.

“Hopefully there’ll be none of that unnecessary jiggery-pokery here, Jen and Greg, and we can look forward to some good, honest ice hockey. And the odd fight, of course. Lizzy Capper, for TTO News, Ulya–”

“Thank you, Lizzy. And remember you can catch all C&M’s games live on our sister station TTO-Sport. Now, as a strange old weekend in the CMSC continues it was Green Island’s turn to be brought back down to earth with a bump when they surrendered a two-nil lead at the Hilltop Stadium to draw etcetera etcetera fades into distance this is football you don’t need to hear it…

THE MONASTIC TIMES

MONKS WITNESS MIRACLE OF GOD'S CREATION
Ice Hockey Squad Loses to Walruses

By Fr. Kyrill the Frostbitten

Truly the Lord has worked miracles across the realities, for last night it was my honour to gaze upon the sentient Ice Hockey-playing walruses that he has seen fit to bring forth in the nation of Prux. These mighty beasts skate across the ice with a nimbleness and grace that belies their elephantine bulk, and the Pruxians must nightly give thanks unto God for being granted such a miraculous boon.

Regrettably, the Pruxian walruses seemed to have taken exception to the fact that our squad's skates were made out of hand-carved walrus tusks - despite our best efforts to explain that said tusks were only ever taken from naturally-deceased non-sentient walruses - and proceeded to thrash our monastic hockey players 4-1.

The Monastic Hockey Federation would like to sincerely apologise to the nation of Prux,and their walruses, for any ill-feeling caused by the nature of the Archregimancy's skates, and wish the team well over the coming games.

McPsychoville 2-0 Bai Lung

Looking in despair and frustration as the ice hockey match came to an end, the head coach Kim Dong Wen kicked his bottle of ice tea across the ice rink shouting a torrent of obscenities and other run of the mill insults at his players. The 65 year old firmly grabbed onto his hair and is actually ready to rip it apart. In fact, he was actually on the verge of hanging himself in front of the players because of their "inability to play". Even though it was the very first match which the Oldboys had ever played, he certainly treated that particular match as if it was the finals. Of course, a new team is not expected to win their first ever match plus the boys (actually aged 20-40) only trained for 3 months (albeit rigorously) but to him, he expected 110% out of his boys. At the changing room, he debriefed the team with a threatening message while downing a bottle of rum. He berated his squad in general (for scoring nothing) and more specifically a fight between his best goalscorer and a defencemen.

Kim Dong Wen: "I would like to say, I was hugely disappointed with the results which you boys delivered in todays match. What would I like to say about this lacklustre performance...WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU BOYS SMOKING RECENTLY?!?! I had to sit on MY BUTT painfully watching 6 of my boys dilly dally about by not focusing on the main objective of ice hockey: to score 1 f***ing goal?!?!?!? NONE OF YOUSE ACTUALLY ACHIEVED THE GOAL!!! WHY THE F&&& IS CHEN DO-LUNG ARGUING WITH PAK CHI WU AND WHY DID THEY ENGAGE IN A BRAWL?!?! You're supposed to fight the opposing team not each other. This is unbelievable stuff, imagine what the commentators would like to say: 'This is amazing! Two players of the same team are actually fighting each other! We've never seen anything like this in the history of ice hockey violence' blah blah blah! The coverage about this 'incident' will go down in history as one of the funniest moments on tv. This is quite frankly the worst match we've ever had and I've truly seen misbehaved monkeys who've performed better than you vegetating lot..."

Chen Do-Lung, the young player, gave his side of the story.

Chen Do-Lung: "Pak said something about my mom, who is part Japanese..."

He was instantly shut down by the old man's screaming. Chen felt every inch of his muscle being blown away by the intensity of the old man's voice. It could be heard from Pyongjing, the country's capital.

Kim Dong Wen: "YOU'VE HEAD-BUTTED HIM FOR THAT PETTY INSULT!!! NOW HE'S IN A HOSPITAL IN LANEUX!!! THE POOR MAN REQUIRES 12 STITCHES ON HIS NOSE BECAUSE OF YOUR MORONIC ACTIONS!!! AND TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY, YOU'VE SPENT MORE TIME FISH HOOKING YOUR TEAM MATE THAN SCORING GOALS! WHY DIDN'T YOU IGNORE THE ANTI-JAPANESE COMMENT AND PLAYED HOCKEY?! "

Chen Do-Lung: "Pak was the one who attacked me first. He made fun of my mother and actually smashed me in the head with his stick. I only wanted to defend myself..."

Kim Dong Wen: "...AND YOU COULD'VE PUT YOUR DIFFERENCES ASIDE!!! With only 10 minutes left to the end of the match, you could've smacked that puck to your opponent's goal TWICE! and that would result in a draw but you chose to go fishing with your team mate instead..."

Chen Do-Lung: "But I didn't go fishing, I was playing hockey..."

Kim Dong Wen: "Oh I didn't GO fishing! OF COURSE YOU DID! EXCEPT YOUR CATCH IS YOUR TEAM MATE! If your venture to the sin bin is bad enough, you had to HEAD-BUTT AND FISH HOOK YOUR TEAM MATE AGAIN! NOW YOU'VE PAID THE PRICE FOR DOING SO BECAUSE YOU ARE OFFICIALLY BANNED FROM PARTICIPATING IN FUTURE MATCHES! Hang your head in shame, son..."

The player hung his head in shame.

Chen Do-Lung: "I'm sorry, sir. I promise to spend less time fishing and more time on hockey training."

Wu Tang Chai: "Well at least I made an effort. I did good with my goal-keeping skills..."

Kim Dong Wen: "...YOU DID NOTHING! QUITE FRANKLY, YOU ARE THE WORST GOAL KEEPER IN MY WHOLE LIFE! YOU ALLOWED THE MACPSYCHOSOMETHINGS SCORE TWICE! YOU COULD'VE KEPT THE SCORE AT ZERO AND MADE LIFE HELL FOR THEM! A blind monkey could serve as a better goal keeper. Hell, even I could serve as goal keeper AND score a goal!"

Kim points at all the players with total animosity.

Kim Dong Wen: "You lot should be ashamed of yourselves. If I don't see a win when we take on Coreliu 2 on Sunday, I'm going to come to your homes in person and I'll castrate all of youse and you'll be wishing that you could've beaten them."

The manager of the team creeped into the changing room and beckoned the coach to answer a phone call.

Tang Bin Su: "Kim, you've got a phone call from the interim admin."

Kim nodds to the manager and give his last words to the team.

Kim Dong Wen: "I've got a phone call from a very important man.The rest of youse can think about what you could've improved on. I've gotta head out to the hospital where Pak is being treated. Dismissed."

The old man kicks a shoe in frustration, causing it to bounce off a locker and hitting a player in the process. He marches out of the room in anger, followed by a harsh slamming of the door behind him.

So how did the Walruses do in the first match?

Well they had a bit of trouble adjusting to the warmer temperatures, but they did well.

How well did they do?

Well after allowing that one goal to one of those monks. Blungbroob scored twice, and tried to eat the puck 5 times. Borkbumble and Wunkgolt each scored as well. A 4-1 win is nice.

So whose up next?

Dannistaan, who lost to Quakmybush. If we win, we advance to the next round.

Any problems with the team yet?

Not enough fish. Mormcheese got a match penalty for trying to eat the referee, but it was reduced to a major penalty once the ref was reguritated.

Typesetter's note: comments scribbled in the margins and arrowed in have been placed in parentheses and underlined words have been italicized.

For all intents and purposes a reasonably standard game of hockey was played.

We won, which is nice, though I guess I'm somewhat disappointed I didn't have anything to do. The players come with automatic timers, so they know when their shifts are up.

They're erratic at times, with goals coming clumped together. #6's goal, #5's second, and Adam Eastley's came within two minutes in the second period, and #11's and Jerome Oshiro's were in the seventh minute.

Most impressive-and worrying-was #5's first goal. A beautiful thing, really, tipping the pass from #2 above poor Nutt-but he's not literally! Problem was, though, it was shorthanded.

That's right, #6 got a penalty for cross-checking Wesley Riddel. When the robots are cheating, something's wrong. I couldn't tell if it was a tactical foul, the result of too much aggression (who programs aggression, and why?) or just a bug.

Wait, just a bug? It better not be, if something goes wrong we're doomed.

Anyhow, we're heading to Neorvins next, where we got eliminated from the last tournament. Should be as fun as anything in this tournament is.

Green wombat's debut into the world of International Hockey got off to a less than stellar start in a 4-2 loss to Plutoni.

GOAL Summary:
FIRST PERIOD:
Plutoni: #5
SECOND PERIOD:
Plutoni: #6
Plutoni: #5
Green wombat: Adam Eastley
Plutoni: #11
Green wombat: Jerome Oshiro
THIRD PERIOD:
No Goals

Question Ten: Which team(s) impressed you most on Day One?
Answer: The team that impressed me the most was Prux. How a team comprised of sentient walruses managed to beat a pious Archregimacy squad is beyond my understanding. My dark horse pick of Bazalonia did rather well winning 5-1.

Question Eleven: Which team(s) dissapointed you the most on Day One?
Answer: Kelssek, the hosts. They should've beaten Corneliu easily. The Archregimacy did rather poorly as well.

Queston Twelve: Any upsets on Day Two?
Answer: There always is an upset somewhere. My gut feelings are Neue Schottland over Magnus Valerius and Mallatarsland over taeshan.

Class Always Tells in the End

Mallatarsland 1-0 Taeshan

Finally, after many Events, Games and World Series, Mallatarsland has beaten Taeshan at something. This Reporter is really pleased that after a dull game that seemed to drag on forever the Mallatarsland Masters finally got the win they deserved. Deep in to Overtime, the skill of Larry Stottle finally got through the Taeshan defence and scored the winning goal.

Kura-Pelland shouldn't have bothered. Ice hockey's only popular in Noorde anyway, so the attempts for the team to show otherwise by picking a largely Trilan-based team backfired in unbelievable style because most of these players are too inexperienced to compete at any level, let alone this one.

Wezleana's 3-2 win was the height of humiliation for Kura-Pelland, who must now face Qazox and C&M - both of whom, you know, have sporting credentials. In fairness, Kura-Pelland did outplay Wezleana most of the game, but only just, and Tom Eshtaa made three simple mistakes to let in the goals. Nicky Oyar is set to start for the next game.

Just to make things worse, tropical nation Brutland and Norden picked up a win, albeit against Eighthgraderistan...

Class Always Tells in the End

Mallatarsland 1-0 Taeshan

Finally, after many Events, Games and World Series, Mallatarsland has beaten Taeshan at something. This Reporter is really pleased that after a dull game that seemed to drag on forever the Mallatarsland Masters finally got the win they deserved. Deep in to Overtime, the skill of Larry Stottle finally got through the Taeshan defence and scored the winning goal.

What he said

So how did the team do today?

Not so good, a draw with Dannistaan and Mulfpunb got sick.

How'd he get sick?

Some Dannistaan fans threw some rotten octopi on the ice and he ate them.

Stupid fans, don't they know that walruses are allergic to octopus?

Nope, But the team still leads the group and if they get a win or draw in the next match against Quakmybush, they qualify and could win the group.

Nice, so for the factbook, who scored?

Wunkgolt, Jongbum, and Blormelch.

Da Playerz got Hated

Brutland and Norden did de hatin' getting all up wit it 3 times.

Grillz got us a loner

Next we must be hatin on Krasslor, or else we done for.

Green wombat's debut into the world of International Hockey is almost over following a 2-1 loss to NoShitia. With an 0-0-2 record, the team looks to steal at least a point in its final match against Philimbesi.

GOAL Summary:
FIRST PERIOD:
NoShitia: #5
SECOND PERIOD:
NoShitia: #11
Green wombat: Jerome Oshiro
THIRD PERIOD:
No Goals

Question Thirteen: How did Qazox do in it's first match as Champions?
Answer: A 7-2 win over Candelaria And Marquez. Lead by 3 goals from Theodore Borchers and a pair of goals from Alvin Gutshall, the Pheonix easily cruised to the biggest win of the day.

Question Fourteen: Which team(s) impressed you the most on Days two and Three?
Answer: Bazalonia, our Dark Horse, qualified as did Squornshelous. The other team that impressed us was The Archregimacy, who bounced back from that loss to the walruses, and put Quakmybush on the brink.

Question Fifteen: Which team(s) dissapointed you the most on Days Two and Three?
Answer: Kura-Pelland losing to Wezleana. And our upset picks of Neue Schottland over Magnus Valerius and Mallatarsland over taeshan both came true.

Question Sixteen: Any upsets on Day Four?
Answer: Only one I see is Kura-Pelland over Qazox.


BOX SCORE

QAZOX 3-2-2 7
C and M 1-0-1 2

GOAL SUMMARY:
FIRST PERIOD:
QAZ- Alvin Gutshall: 3:16
CaM- Xavier Deadman: 5:36
QAZ- Theodore Cowling: 11:23
QAZ- Alvin Gutshall: 18:56

SECOND PERIOD
QAZ- Theodore Borchers: 0:19
QAZ- Theodore Borchers: 12:08

THIRD PERIOD
CaM- William De Mai: 1:13 (PP)
QAZ- Theodore Borchers: 9:22
QAZ- Leon Soltero: 15:09 (PP)

OVERALL STATS
Qazox: 34 shots (11-9-14)
C and M: 15 shots (5-3-7)

Penalties:
Qazox: 5 for 10 minutes
C and M: 3 for 6 minutes

Powerplay
Qazox: 1-3
C and M: 1-5

GOALIES:
Qazox: Miguel Englert (13 saves/15 shots)
C and M: Ocean Madiga (15 saves/20 Shots)
Marcus Emery (20:00 3rd) (12 saves/14 shots)

“…mitted he’d made a grievous error in judgement, but would not step down from the House. He’s not expected however to be named on the Unionists’ party list come May.”

“Okay Jenny, and talking of chipmunks; Alvin and Theodore were on show in Ulyanov in the wee hours to hand Seb Mulrooney’s C&M quite a thumping in their opening game of the fifth World Cup in Ice Hockey. Lizzy Capper is in Kelssek for TTO and Lizzy, it was rather what we were expecting, but a long way from what we were hoping for.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Okay, well Lizzy can’t see–”

“No, Greg, absolutely this was a flat way to get started, but we can’t stress enough how well Qazox played today. The point is, it could have been so different; there was a real sense of optimism here, perhaps after that unforgettable field hockey win, and certainly from this end the commentators on KBC Sport weren’t ruling out the possibility of an upset.

“As it turned out, that never looked likely to materialise with Alvin Gutshall lighting the lamp, apparently, when his shot went top shelf, seriously, I’ve no idea what this means I’m just sticking to my script, don’t have a go. Now there was a chink of light when William De Mai – he’s one of ours – rather beautifully stole the ba, uh, the puck from Jon Bruggeman and set up C&M captain Xavier Deadman for the equaliser.

“C&M really did look like having a chance at this point, and Deadman was presented with another couple of quick opportunities that Miguel Englert held but clearly had the champions rattled, but from there on in C&M were forced to weather a sustained spell of pressure that eventually yielded a goal from Theodore Cowling. And after that, I have to say I don’t know my ice hockey that well, but this really was like watching somebody torturing a kitten.”

“Okay, so Lizzy is there anything we can take from this game or shall we just pack up and go home?”

“Well no, the form of Ocean Madiga between the… uh, in the, in the. The goalkeeper, Madiga, was on really great form, particularly in the second period but he got crunched by Theodore Borchers and I wouldn’t fancy his chances of playing the second game. And there was a bit of a revival in the third period, I have to say, when Cowling was called for holding and De Mai scored from the power play, but it was all pretty academic by that point.

“Plus point, guys, is that this group is wide open. Nobody saw Wezleana beating Kura-Pelland, and if our lads can overturn the Apple World outfit, that grudge match against the Kura-Pellandi side in Mazinaw is going to be something to behold.”

“Okay Lizzy, we look forward to it. Lizzy Capper in Ulyanov. There. Back to the CMSC now and it was the champions who edged it in the big game here too, with MarquezOW earning a two-one win at the MSS again non-relevant football voice trails off into the ether…

__________________

[OOC, re: adverts on the KBC site. Why does the sentence 'Click here to chat to a Mormon' invariably make me grin..?]

Dannistrian Sun, National Edition
Special Sports Supplement on Ice Hockey World Cup

Dannistaan's hopes at a good start in the World Cup of Ice Hockey got off to a shakey start in their first two games, which saw them lost 1-3 to Quakmybush and draw 3-3 with Prux. This leaves the BYB's in a precarious position at the bottom of the group. This isn't totally the end though as Dannistaan has been in a similar position in the last WCIH and ended up in the Quarter Finals against the odds.

The first game against Quakmybush was, quite frankly, a white wash as the Quakmybush forwards smashed goal after goal after goal, one each, in all three periods of the game. Only the actions of subs captain Kah'lad Joneston-Ga'wiir resulted in the only goal being scored by our boys which stopped the game being a total disappointment. The crowd leaving the ground a little unimpressed.

The second game faired a little better, although not initially with the Prux forwards ploughing through the Dannistrian defence and making them look very bad, scoring two goals in the first period and one in the second. This seemed to fire up the BYB's as the long time pairing of Carter "Castle" Smith and Wang Bin Mei used their infamous "Wall of Death" defensive play to stop any more goals going their way. This prompted harding attacks by Captain Donald Gah'ns and this was rewarded by the scoring of one goal for Dannistaan. Then, with literally 2 minutes on the clock, winger Har'lou Fredrickson scored another goal, smashing the puck home past the Prux defence. Finally, just when people though it couldn't get any better, with only 20 seconds on the clock, Gah'ns slide past the Prux defence and tapped one home past the goalie, leaving the score 3 all. The crowd errupted into a round of applause that would've made you think we won the game.

However we are still not out of the woods yet. We need to win the next game against the The Archregimacy team and by a large margin or else things will look very dire for use indeed. We must win or else...

-Patrick Rogers
Dannistrian Sun Sports Correspondant

Question Seventeen: How did Qazox do in it's second match?
Answer: A 5-2 win over Kura-Pelland, and the Phoenix have just about clinched the group. Only a shocking 6 or more goal loss to Wezleana could prevent the team from advancing, and that's about as likely as a snowball lasting 5 minutes in Hades.

Question Eightteen: Which team(s) impressed you the most on Day Four?
Answer: Neue Schottland, they followed up their win over Magnus Valerius with a win over Oliverry, and has all but clinched a Round of 16 berth.


Question Nineteen: Which team(s) dissapointed you the most on Day Four?
Answer: Oliverry, who now must beat Magnus Valerius to advance.

Question Twenty: Any upsets on Day Five?
Answer: Prux could beat Quakmybush, and I think Bazalonia could knock off Sqournshelous.


BOX SCORE

Ku-Pell 0-0-2 2
QAZOX 1-1-3 5


GOAL SUMMARY:
FIRST PERIOD:
QAZ- Jon Bruggeman: 9:15

SECOND PERIOD
QAZ- Theodore Borchers (4): 0:19

THIRD PERIOD
K-P- Charles Bijara: 4:11 (SH)
QAZ- Jim Musial: 7:03
K-P- Clive Young: 9:52
QAZ- Jim Barcelo: 12:07
QAZ- Clifford Hilt: 19:52 (EN)

OVERALL STATS
Ku-Pell: 23 shots (6-5-12)
Qazox: 29 shots (8-12-9)

Penalties:
Ku-Pell: 4 for 8 minutes
Qazox: 6 for 15 minutes

Powerplay
Ku-Pell: 0-5
Qazox: 0-4

GOALIES:
Ku-Pell: Tom Eshtaa (24 saves/28 Shots) [Off ice from 19:13 to 19:52]
Qazox: Miguel Englert (21 saves/23 shots)

Typesetter's note: "He" was written, and struck through, before "It doesn't seem..."

So, we qualified for the next round.

It's still a surprise that it sounds so natural. It took us eight matchdays last time around, and just because we did well doesn't mean this team should. There's nothing the two teams have in common, either. It's not like I'm doing anything...

Unimpressive victory. #4, 10, and 12 scored, the captain twice. I'm sort of curious as to how they tell. It doesn't seem any different from the others. The goal conceded came at the end of the second period when we needed something to keep us interested anyway. Everything looks different from the bench, I'm moving around about as much as I did as a player but there's no pressure.

Neorvins isn't quite what I remembered, though we had more time to see the city during the series. There's a new politician coming in so the city seems anxious to see what will happen next.

I can afford to relax, I guess, not that there's much else to do. The next game doesn't seem like it'll be much of a challenge, the opposition seeming to be as frank, blunt, and straightforward as I used to think robots were. Probably well-mannered, too, if that's possible...the stereotype of hockey players might not really hold up, but who am I to say?

Da Playerz Tie up Krasslor

Krasslor got all up wit it 3 times.

But so did Da Playerz, as Grillz got us a loner, and Cheezeburger gots him a deuce.

Next we must be hatin on The platypus people and ifi'n we does, we advance, if'in Krasslor gets hated by Brutland and Norden.

“…ill not be sacked from the show despite allegations surrounding his private life.”

“Okay, Greg, and talking of the price of fish I’d say it’s about time we checked in on the latest from the Blue Pucks’ World Cup campaign. We can join Lizzy Capper, where it’s all smiles in Vickery. Lizzy.”

“…”

“Okay, well as you can see we’re having a little bit of trouble contacting Kelssek, but what I can tell you i–”

“Yes, Jenny, that’s right, I’m in the City of Champions and while C&M are a long way from deserving that moniker, this morning’s win really was impressive stuff. Coming off the back of a thumping seven-two defeat, albeit against the reigning champions, and without the first-choice goaltender; it was always going to be a mammoth task for Seb Mulrooney to pick his boys up.

“What actually happened was that C&M picked up a pretty emphatic win in the Coliseum against a Wezleana side whose luck really had run out. Part of that was down to some excellent goalkeeping, with twenty-two-year-old market researcher Marcus Emery on superb form. He was the busier goalie in the first period to be honest, making a string of confidence boosting stops that gave his team-mates the impetus to power on forwards.

“Finding the net initially proved just as tricky for Mulrooney’s men; but Alex Fox, the regular match-winner over in Liverpool England a couple of months back, proved that he could transfer his skills to the slippery game with a powerplay strike in the ninth minute.

“Xavier Deadman doubled their lead not long after, but Wezleana proved against Kura-Pelland that what they lack in talent they make up for in sheer bloody-mindedness. The Blue Pucks proved consistently unable to add to their advantage, and the spectre of another embarrassment came when Wezleana pulled one back in the second period and increasingly dominated the game.

“The third period wasn’t ten seconds old however when Edward Alfredsson restored C&M two-goal advantage, before Fox’s outstanding shorthanded effort put the result beyond doubt.

“At four-one it was the joint largest scoreline of the day, because over in Burnaby Qazox were beating Kura-Pelland five-two. So what does it all mean? Well, the champions’ qualification to the knock-out stages is all but assured – they need to loose to Wezleana and heavily, which basically isn’t going to happen. That means that in all probability the second spot comes down to the game that, let’s be honest, we all knew it would. Once again, a C&M team’s future depends on getting a result against Kura-Pelland.

“Now guys, here’s the thing – that doesn’t necessarily mean a win. The Kura-Pellandis need victory by two clear goals to knock us out… I think.”

“You think?”

“Yeah, I… No. Well. Yeah, no, I’m pretty sure.”

“Uh… Right. Okay, Lizzy Capper there for TTO in Vickery. Football now, and Adam Williamson’s new role at United Trilan got underway with a comeback win against Curzek Rovers bingly bingly bong I really have to find a more satisfying way of ending stuff…

Kura-Pelland will need a two-goal victory over Candelaria And Marquez to stand any chance of making the knockout phases of the World Cup of Hockey after their expected 5-2 crumble to Qazox.

While two excellent goals were scored - one of them shorthanded, to boot - to give Kura-Pelland real hope at 2-1 and 3-2, Qazox just had the stamina at the end to score two late goals, one of them into an empty net as Kura-Pelland threw the metaphorical kitchen sink at the champs at the end.

Candelaria And Marquez's 4-1 defeat of Wezleana means that a two-goal victory is required for Kura-Pelland to overtake them; even that won't be enough if Wezleana take Qazox to overtime, but Wezleana won't take Qazox to overtime. Then again, they said Norbert Fiero should never have played international football at 16 and with an injury... he did, and he scored...

In other news, Louisa Giles has expressed her delight at her sudden popularity in Candelaria And Marquez. The field hockey official moved to the country after controversy surrounding the World Cup game in the sport that she officiated in and rumours of mass orgies, and has since appeared on a reality TV show in the country, which has cemented her unlikely popularity as a sex symbol.

She predicts a 3-1 win for Candelaria And Marquez.

Question Twenty-One: So what are the qualification senarios entering the last matches?
Answer: For some groups it's easier than others, but for most teams the answer is very simple: WIN and you are in, LOSE and go home. The senarios for each team are posted below :

(Please note there are other possible senarios for teams to clinch berths into the 2nd round, but the most likely ones are posted here)

GROUP A
Bazalonia and Squornshelous have both qualifed. Winner of their match will win the group, while Bazalonia wins the group if there is a draw.

GROUP B
Plutoni: has clinched 2nd round berth. Can clinch group with a win or a draw.
NoShitia: can clinch 2nd round berth with a win, an OT loss or a draw against Plutoni, or a Green wombat-Philimbesi draw, or a loss by 2 goals and a Philimbesi win by two goals and Noshitia has more goals scored if they are tied on GD and points.
Philimbesi: can advance to 2nd round with a win over Green wombat by two or more goals and a NoShitia loss by two or more goals, or if Philimbesi has more goals scored than NoShitia if they are tied on GD and points.


GROUP C
Kelssek and McPsychoville both can clinch 2nd round berths with wins or draws.
Kelssek: wins group with a win or a draw and a McPsychoville draw or OT Loss.
McPsychoville: wins group with a win and a Kelssek loss or draw.
Bai Lung: can clinch 2nd round berth with a 2 or more goal win over Kelssek.
Corneliu: can clinch 2nd round berth with a 2 or more goal win over McPsychoville and a Bai Lung loss or draw.

GROUP D
Prux: can clinch group with a win, a draw and a Archregimancy-Dannistaan draw or a draw and an Archregimancy win by less than 4 goals. Can clinch 2nd round berth with a draw or a loss by less than 4 goals and an Archregimancy-Dannistaan draw.
Quackmybush: can clinch group with a win. They can clinch a 2nd round berth with a draw and an Archregimancy-Dannistaan draw or a Dannistaan win.
The Archregimancy: can clinch the group with a win by 4 or more goals and an Prux-Quakmybush draw. They can clinch 2nd round berth with a win and either a Prux win, a Quakmybush win or a Prux-Quakmybush draw.
Dannistaan: can clinch a 2nd round berth with a 2 or more goal win and a Prux win over Quakmybush.

GROUP E
Qazox: Has basically clinched 2nd round berth. Only a 6 or more goal loss coupled with a Candelaria And Marquez 3 or more goal win can keep the team out of the next round. Can clinch group with a win or a draw.
Candelaria And Marquez: Can clinch group with a win by 3 or more goals and a Qazox loss by 6 or more goals. Can clinch 2nd round berth with a win or a draw.
Wezleana: Can clinch group with win by 6 or more goals and a C&M win by 2 or fewer goals or a C&M/K-P draw. Can clinch 2nd round berth with a win or a draw and a Kura-Pelland win by less than 3 goals.
Kura-Pelland: Can clinch 2nd round berth with a win and a Wezleana loss by more than 1 goal.

GROUP F
Brutland and Norden: has clinched 2nd round berth, can clinch group with a win or a draw.
Krasslor: Can clinch group with a win. Can clinch 2nd round berth with a draw or a loss by 3 or fewer goals and an Eighthgraderistan win by less than 3 goals.
Eighthgraderistan: Can clinch 2nd round berth with a win by 3 or more goals and a Krasslor loss by 3 or more goals.

GROUP G
Elves Security Forces: Can clinch group with win or draw. Can clinch 2nd round berth with a loss and a Mallatarsland loss or draw.
Mallatarsland: Can clinch group with a win by 4 or more goals and a ESF loss by 3 or more goals to taeshan. Can clinch 2nd round breth with a win or a draw and a ESF- taeshan draw (if Mallatarsland and Taeshan each win by the same amount of goals, then Mallatarsland wins the group or clinches the 2nd round berth due to Goals scored.)
taeshan: can clinch group with a win by 4 or more goals and a Mallatarsland loss. can clinch 2nd round berth with a win or a draw, provided they have more goals scored than does Mallatarsland.
Turkemimbeliminstein: Can clinch 2nd round berth with a win over Mallatarsland by 2 or more goals and a taeshan loss by 2 or more goals.

GROUP H
Neue Schottland: Has basically clinched 2nd round berth. Can clinch group with a win or draw or a loss and a Oliverry-MV draw. Clinches 2nd round berth with a loss by less than 4 goals.
Oliverry: Can clinch group with a win and a Neue Schottland loss. Can clinch 2nd round berth with a win, or a draw and a NS-Dundonian draw or a Dundonian loss and a loss by less than 4 goals.
Dundonian: Can clinch group with a win by 4 or more goals and an Oliverry loss or draw. Can clinch 2nd round berth with a win by 3 or fewer goals and either an Olivery loss or draw.
Magnus Valerius: Can clinch 2nd round berth with a win by 4 or more goals and a Dundonian loss

http://img355.imageshack.us/img355/9098/labrutellienseep2.png
February 16, 2008
by Angelo di Trincone
Nord-Brutlandese National Ice Hockey Team off to a good start
LANGLOIS, Kelssek - the Brutland and Norden National Ice Hockey Team started off well in the 5th World Cup of Hockey being held in Kelssek.

The still-unseeded Nord-Brutlandese team won their first two games in Group F. The team beat the Eighthgraderistan team 3-1 in the first game at the Exhibition Centre in Redswyth, Kelssek, on Matchday 2. Team Captain and center Kail di Battaglia performed brilliantly, scoring two of the Nord-Brutlandese goals. Halfway into the game, the Nord-Brutlandese fortunes seemed to reverse, with the Eighthgraderistan team scoring netting the puck past goalie substitute Sebastian Calandra. However, more aggressive defense by Michele Scocco and Matto La Scala reversed the tide, and di Battaglia scored his second goal three-fourths into the game. The Nord-Brutlandese third goal came from Daniele Sentinelli, who managed to slip the puck past the Eighthgraderistan goalie.

The second game was against The platypus people on Matchday 4 at the Arena Pacifique, Langlois, Kelssek. The Nord-Brutlandese beat The platypus people, 2-1. The game seemed to be against Brutland and Norden, with The platypus people scoring their goal in the first few minutes of the game. Coach Derrico Robledo introduced the tried-and-tested stellar combinations into the rink, and within the next minute di Battaglia scored a goal, and the terrific enforcer Bruno Zocca scored the other goal. The platypus people turned on the offensive, but it was no match for the Scocco-La Scala combination. The game ended 2-1 for Brutland and Norden, with platypi being thrown over the rink by some fans.

It was predicted that Brutland and Norden can clinch the group with either a win or a draw against the upcoming match against fellow South Pacific Nation Krasslor on Matchday 6 at Great Bear Arena, Latrobe, Kelssek. Coach Robledo said that "I am confident that Brutland and Norden can make it. We have so many talented players, and I believe we're good in our national sport." King Kyle II reportedly phoned the Nord-Brutlandese team to offer his support.

"This is the first time that Brutland and Norden had participated in any international sports competition," said team captain di Battaglia, "and I'm proud that we are doing well in representing the country."
OOC: The message you have entered is too short. Please lengthen your message to at least 1 characters.

Dannistrian Sun, National Edition
Special Sports Supplement on Ice Hockey World Cup

"Hockey fever grips the nation"

Dannistaan has qualified for the next round after beating the Archregimacy team in a resounding 3-1 victory. The win is long awaited after a sluggish start for the BYB's in the World Cup of Ice Hockey. The slow start was starting to concern many back home after the lack of apparent progress made it look likely Dannistaan may not qualify. This was especially important as it was the very first time that a significant amount of people outside of the state of East Dannistaan were taking an interest in the sport, as it lead to a halo effect which has resulted in more merchandise sales, tickets sales and funding improvements which has in turn improved facilities and training for the players.

The game itself didn't start off well when in the first ten minutes of the first period, the Archregimacy offence smashed the puck home past the defence, making the Dannistrians look stupid. After a quick substitution that saw Donald Gah'ns removed in favour of Kah'lad Joneston-Ga'wiir, the rest of the first period had a tense, edgy air as the two sides sized each other up, with both offence lines trying to find a way past the others defence lines. This continued all the way up to the end of the first period.

The second period, for four tense minutes, started the same way. Then the breakthrough came as the Joneston-Ga'wiir tore past the Archregimacy defence and pushed the puck home into the back of the net, drawing the score 1 all. Then, it was back to the previous order as the two sides made terse maneuvers in an attempt to prevent giving the other any ground. Then, just one minute before the end of the second period, subs left winger Ar'lou Nas'ahr smashed one home from the far end of the rink, making the score 2-1.

The third period didn't seem very inspiring at first, the two sides showing signs of fatigue. As the two sides probed one another once more, there was one final push made by Donald Gah'ns, who was brought back in at the halfway mark of the third period, as he tore past the defence at the dying seconds of the match to slot the puck home and make the score 3-1. The crowd went wild, cheering so loudly that you could feel the stadium shake.

So what now for our intrepid boys? I cannot say. I do know this though. If they continue like this, we could very well see a repeat of their performance in the last WCIH where they went all the way to the quarter finals. Perhaps this time, just maybe, we could lift the cup.

-Patrick Rogers
Dannistrian Sun Sports Correspondant

Sing Ming Daily News
Get more out of life!

Sports Headlines

Fans look in despair as Kelssek Ice Hockey teams beats Bai Lung 5-3. BL player scores own goal. Riots occur at Laneux ice rink.

Fans of the Oldboys pour out with heart aching pain as their team failed to enter the next round in the World Cup of Ice Hockey. The Bai Lung National Ice Hockey Team managed to bag 3 goals, one in each period, but it was far short of what the Kelssekian Ice Hockey scored. Scoring 4 goals plus an own goal by an Oldboy player secured the victory for the Kelsskian team.

The game itself was disastrous from the very beginning, Li Dong Lin and Wang Ri Dang clashed with one another as they argued over who's strategy is better. Mr Wang was sent to the sin bin after threatening Mr Li repeatedly with his hockey stick. The remainder of the game was very tense as both side trying to score as many goals, quickly and aggressively. By the end of the first period, it was 1-1.

The 2nd period proved to be very strange to many. More specifically, the presence of an intruder, who ran into the ice rink, throwing dvds on the ice rink but was promptly removed by the ice (see below for details). A ten minute break was imposed as security rushed to remove any foreign objects on the rink. Other than the reported incident, the 2nd period was similar to the 1st one. The score was 3-2 to Kelssek.

The 3rd period proved to be a fatal blow for the Oldboys. At around 7 minutes into the game, defenceman Pak Chi Wu accidently scored own goal as he was attempting to deflect an attack made by Kelssek player Colin Calderwood. If that wasn't enough, the coach Kim Dong Wen was sent to hospital after Mr Pak and Wang Ri Dang assaulted him with their hockey sticks during an altercation in regards to the own goal. This along with the frequent instances of in fighting meant it the victory for the Kelssekian Ice Hockey team is sealed. The Kelssekian crowd cheered wildly with glee as the Kelssekian Ice Hockey beat their Bai Lungese counterparts with a healthy score of 5-3.

http://img519.imageshack.us/img519/2677/caronfire4th0.jpg

While many Oldboy supporters embraced each other in tears, others showed their resentment towards both each other and to the opponents. Shortly after the match ended, a riot has occurred in the Place Gauchetiere Ice rink as supporters of the Oldboys smashed up chairs and threw rocks at each other and at Kelssekian supporters. Many rioters also chanted out: "Down with the guizi!" as they clash with Kelssekian supporters. There were also reports of rioters setting fire to chairs and violent muggings including theft of shoes. Stabbings were also reported by eye witnesses, although in both cases, almost all victims are Bai Lungese. Riots continue to break out in the streets of Laneux as rioters set fire to various landmarks and smashed the windows of many establishments especially LGBT and Japanese themed ones.

The riot lasted for 5 hours and the National Mounted police has successfully brought the riots to a halt and have arrested a total of 3500 people. Acting Interim Admin of Bai Lung Chiba Seto has condemned the riots and has called for those who took part in them to be punished severely by the Kelssekian government. He has written an apology to Kelssekian Prime Minister Pierre Gautain and hopes to offer reparations to all businesses that were affected by today's riot.


Clown interrupts hockey match.

A man posed as a clown has ran into the ice rink, throwing dvds in the air. The incident during the first 5 minutes of the 2nd period when a man identified as Edward Gong Zé Min, ran into the ice rink dressed in a yellow clown outfit and white make up. The 24 year old proclaimed himself to be controversial Dannistrian born Bai Lungese film maker Marcel Chen.

Mr Gong continued to claim: "I'm Marcel Chen!" while at the same time, throwing dvds, assuming to be pirated copies of Mr Chen's work, into the air. His publicity came to end very shortly as security escorted him out of the rink. The match was temporarily called out as security removed any foreign objects and debris off the ice rink.

Reactions to the stunt were mixed and muted. Some where amused by the incident while others showed outright disgust and some even left the ice rink, never to return again.


Bai Lung hockey coach assaulted by own players.

Kim Dong Wen, the coach to the Oldboys, has been sent to hospital over an altercation. The 65 year old was sent to the nearest hospital over an argument on who scored own goal. The referee and close examination of the video recording of the game concluded that it was Pak Chi Wu who scored own goal. The altercation further escalated when Mr Kim allegedly accused Mr Pak and fellow player Wang Ri Dang of being "utterly useless" and it was there when both players assaulted Mr Kim with their hockey sticks.

The National Mounted Police have arrested Mr Pak and Mr Wang on suspicion of assault. They will be examining all footage's of the fight very closely and it will allow them to determine who started the fight first. Mr Pak and Mr Wang deny assaulting Mr Kim. Mr Pak went as far as to claim that Mr Kim was suffering from a heart attack.

Manager Tang Bin Su has condemned the use of violence by his players and will be co-operating with the police carefully when they will investigate the matter.

"WE DID IT, we did it!!!"

"Slow down, what did we do?"

"We beat Quakmybush and we're going into the next round!"

"Seriously? A bunch of Walruses are going to the knockouts?"

"Yep, Wunkgolt scored twice and Jongbum added an empty netter with 5 seconds left to seal, no pun intended, the win!"

"Any idea who we play next?"

"Nope, but this test has been successful. I think we'll get even more funding now."

"I hope so, Those Robotic Ducks they're using in the Cup of Harmony, most of the funding this cycle went there."

"Screw the ducks, Walruses are where it's at!"

Green wombat's a leat earned a win over Philimbesi 4-2, leaving Kelssek with a 1-2-0 record. While the team didn't advance to the 2nd round, this performance bodes well for future attempts.

GOAL Summary:
FIRST PERIOD:
Green wombat: Jerome Oshiro
SECOND PERIOD:
Green wombat: Alex Troche
THIRD PERIOD:
Green wombat: Alex Troche
Philimbesi: #5
Philimbesi: #3
Green wombat: Marcus Ryba

So we're through. Well, more than through, we had that after the second game.

Through with a perfect record? Through with a higher goal difference than anyone in group A, C, or D? The only team with a perfect record in the whole half?

The opposition was as well-behaved as I expected, and somewhat more hapless. By the time they scored, in the second, it was already 2-0, and #5 added another goal for us in the third.

#3 got its first goal, and seemed almost upset: I don't think it expected to score. There's a flaw someone could exploit-they're too attached to their positions. It thinks of itself as a defender, not a goalscorer. Of course, they don't really get upset. I hope.

And another goal from #4 to start things off.

Fairly empty penalty box. One of the opposition wound up there in the third period, and our #9. Which still scares me.

The good news is it doesn't look like it's a bug. The bad news is that these things are a lot more complex than I give them credit for.

I don't know who we're playing next, but probably a group runner-up. And our opponents today are the group runner-ups. Which makes me think it could be fairly easy, and I could be here for a while. I should enjoy it, yeah, but I didn't think they'd make it this far.

I'm scared. Excited, but there's nothing to be proud of. I was named manager and I have not yet done one single thing. The media aren't doing anything really, so I haven't even gotten to correct announcers that can't count. I'd like to hope they finally figured it out.

Either that, or they just don't care.

OOC: Er, BL, there isn't any player of that name on my team. I've given another player that goal.


http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/media/chronicleandherald.gif
Bai Lung fans riot following World Cup game

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/laneuxriot.jpg
Firefighters arrive to put out a burning car during riots in Laneux following a World Cup game between Bai Lung and Kelssek.
(KELSSEKIAN PRESS PHOTO BY JACQUES SOURAY)


LANEUX - Groups of Bai Lungese burnt cars and trashed Japanese-themed businesses on the streets of Laneux following a World Cup hockey game between Bai Lung and Kelssek.

Some fights broke out in the arena between Bai Lung supporters during the game, with police being alerted after several Bai Lungese men apparently engaged in a knife fight following the conclusion of the game, which Bai Lung lost 5-3. Three Bai Lung nationals were treated at hospital for stab wounds.

Fistfights between Bai Lungese and Kelssekians also broke out, with some witnesses saying the Bai Lungese hurled ethnic slurs. One man also claimed that his shoes were stolen. According to Place Gauchetiere staff, several seats were also damaged.

However, it was upon leaving the arena that rioting erupted, with gangs of supporters reportedly venting their anger, setting fire to Japanese-brand cars and attacking a nearby Japanese restaurant. Fights also broke out with patrons at a gay bar on avenue Louis-Desjardins when a gang of Bai Lungese allegedly broke into the establishment. The KBC also reported that chairs and barstools, thought to have been grabbed from the restaurant, were thrown at police.

Bai Lungese society is known for strong homophobia and anti-Japanese feelings, rooted in a conservative outlook and resentment over past wars with and occupation by Japan.

Over a thousand arrests were made by police over the course of the night. Backup from the National Mounted Police had to be called as the riot threatened to spiral out of control, but order was eventually restored by about 2am. Twelve police officers and over thirty civillians were injured.

According to Laneux's police force, the SPVL, 178 charges will be laid as a result of the violence, including two players from the team who could face aggravated assault charges after they allegedly attacked Bai Lung coach Kim Dong Wen with their hockey sticks, leaving him in hospital with unspecified head injuries. Pak Chi Wu and Wang Ri Dang reportedly were upset after Kim blamed them for Kelssek's fourth goal, a Colin Calderwood slap shot from the blue line which went in after taking a deflection off Pak Chi Wu's arm. Calderwood's goal, his second of the tournament, gave Kelssek a 4-3 lead and would prove to be the game-winner. The result also meant that Bai Lung were eliminated from the World Cup.

The Bai Lung government was quick to issue an apology over the incident, with acting Interim Administrator Chiba Seto writing to Prime Minister Pierre Gautain early this morning. Bai Lung media reported that he offered reparations for the damage caused and called for the rioters to be severely punished by the Kelssek government.

Question Twenty-Two: Which team(s) impressed you the most on Day Five?
Answer: Dannistaan and Prux each with 3-1 wins to qualify for the next round.

Question Twenty-Three: Which team(s) dissapointed you the most on Day Five?
Answer: McPsychoville, looked tired against Corneliu in a game they should have won easily.

Question Twenty-Four: Any upsets on Day Six?
Answer: Kura-Pelland over Candelaria and Marquez and Magnus Valerius over Oliverry

OOC: Er, BL, there isn't any player of that name on my team. I've given another player that goal.

OOC: Oops! :( I've must have read Krasslor's post by mistake hence the confusion. I've changed the name of player. If it's still incorrect, I'll make amendments ASAP.

IC:

Sing Ming Daily News
Get more out of life!

Sports Headlines

Chiba Seto: Riots should never have happened.

Acting Interim Administrator Chiba Seto has further clarified his report yesterday that the riots should never have happened at Laneux, Kelssek in the first place. Speaking at the Presidential Office building in Pyongjing, Mr Chiba has offered his heartfelt apologies to those injured in yesterdays riot which left dozens of civilians and police injured. Being part Japanese himself, Mr Chiba commented on how Bai Lungese is unwilling to move on with the times and wants to continue with imposing their bigotry towards gays and Japanese.

"It remains astonishing that after hundreds of years of existence, my people has yet to tackle a few unresolved issues: these are anti gay and anti Japanese sentiments. Not one of my people are willing to sit on a chair with their so called 'antagonists' and talk it over like with the rest of the people on planet earth. That peaceful method of dealing with conflicts didn't happen yesterday. The people could've travelled back to their homes without a single instance of threat. That did not happen. In fact, on the 16th February at Place Gauchetier arena, thousands of thugs, not sports fans, just mindless thugs, chose to set fire to the arena and attack and intimidate their rival fans. I abhor all forms of discrimination and violence as a way to gain an advantage as this simply barbaric. If taunting racial ephiets at their rival fans wasn't enough, they vented their anger and frustration to the streets and vandalised various private and public property especially those owned by Japanese and LGBT people. As a result of such unforgivable and heinous acts, I call for the government of Kelssek to punish those who participated in yesterday's riots and ensure that none of them see daylight again..."

-Chiba Seto

The part Japanese admin will also confirm that he will offer compensation of at least BL$200 million to those affected by yesterday's riots. Should any of the 3500+ arrested in Kelssek return to Bai Lung, he vows to have them sentenced for life. There has been some questions as to whether the Bai Lung National Ice Hockey Team will be banned from participating in future Ice Hockey World Cups in the wake of yesterday's riot.

In related news, a man has been arrested in a pub in Laneux for allegedly discussing plans to kidnap Kelssek Prime Minister Pierre Gautain and possibly behead him. The man behind the plot, Jang Ri Wen, claimed that he wanted to "take the frog and lop his head off before billions of viewers and warn the world the Oldboys are unbeatable..." before other patrons became uncomfortable of his presence and phoned the police. BLCTV News reported that Jang attempted to hang himself with his sweater while detained by police.

Mallatarsland Qualify

Mallatarsland 4-3 Turkemimbeliminstein (OT)

Unbelievably, the Mallatarsland Masters won another game and have qualified for the next stage of the 5th World Cup of Hockey. A rather tired team walked from the pitch in high spirits after winning another game that had gone deep into overtime. In an unprecedented move, President Mallatar has granted the keys of Mallatarsland City to each member of the team and should the team manage to progress furthur, he has promised a new car to all the players and their Coach. Mallatarsland will be carrying full coverage of all future games and watching will be compulsary.

Question Twenty-Five: How did Qazox do in it's third match?
Answer: A tough match today as The Phoenix struggled to a 3-2 OverTime win against Wezleana. The win gave Qazox a 3-0-0 record and the OT loss allowed Wezleana to advance as well. Interestingly enough, the same two teams will face off in the Round of 16.

Question Twenty-Six: Which team(s) impressed you the most on Day Six?
Answer: Wezleana did by forcing OT against Qazox and Dundonian beating Neue Schottland.


Question Twenty-Seven: Which team(s) dissapointed you the most on Day Six?
Answer: Krasslor, who didn't look great against Brutland and Norden, and Qazox, who shouldn't have been forced into OT.


BOX SCORE

Wezleana 1-1-0-0 2
QAZOX 0-1-1-1 3


GOAL SUMMARY:
FIRST PERIOD:
Wez: 1:03

SECOND PERIOD
QAZ- Leon Guercio: 12:08
Wez: 18:56 (PP)

THIRD PERIOD
QAZ- Theodore Cowling: 8:23 (PP)

OVERTIME
QAZ- Theodore Borchers (5)- 2:19

OVERALL STATS
Wezleana: 31 shots (10-11-9-1)
Qazox: 37 shots (10-13-8-6)

Penalties:
Wezleana: 7 for 14 minutes
Qazox: 5 for 10 minutes

Powerplay
Wezleana: 1-5
Qazox: 1-7

GOALIES:
Wezleana: Tom Eshtaa (34 saves/37 Shots)
Qazox: Miguel Englert (29 saves/31 shots)

Da Playerz beat down platypuses

platypus only get one goal

But Da Playerz gots three, as Grillz got us a hatty!

But da bad news iz, even wit da Krasslor loss, we still got hated, as they go on wit more caps.

We be back next time y'all and we do da hatin then.

And so Kura-Pelland's hockey exploits end. In some style, though; a 5-4 win over Candelaria and Marquez that leaves the team longing to steal to the land of what might have been, but that won't soften the ache they feel when reality sets back in - Kura-Pelland are out. Thanks to conceding a late goal, and more pertinently thanks to Wezleana taking a complacent Qazox to overtime, putting them in second. A 5-3 win would have done it had Qazox done their job; a 5-4 win and a Qazox regulation-time win would have put C&M through.

Still, chalk one up for the rivalry and move on. The big enchilada, in soccer, is next.

(And I threw in a reference from my WC39Q theme :D)

Question Twenty-Eight: How were your predictions?
Answer: See Below
Predictions Bolded teams are Round of 16 (Non-predicted teams)
Group A
Bazalonia and Squornshelous

Group B
Plutoni and Philimbesi (NoShitia)

Group C
Kelssek and McPsychoville

Group D
The Archregimancy and Quakmybush (Prux and Dannistaan)

Group E
Qazox and Kura-Pelland (Wezleana)

Group F
Eightgraderistan and Brutland and Norden (Krasslor)

Group G
Elves Security Forces and Taeshan (Mallatarsland)

Group H
Oliverry and Magnus Valerius (Neue Schottland)

Overall: 9 of 16, not great.

Question Twenty-Nine: Who has(have) the easiest Round of 16 match-up(s), and who has(have) the toughest?
Answer: Easiest: Plutoni against a NoShitia team they've beaten already and Brutland and Norden plays Krasslor, whom they also beaten already.
Toughest: Kelssek has no home favors against Oliverry and the Bazalonia vs. McPsychoville matchup should go the limit.

Question Thirty: Any Upsets in the Round of 16?
Answer: Neue Schottland seems to be the best bet there.

Question Thirty-One: Qazox vs. Wezleana.. who wins?
Answer: Qazox in a sweep 2 games to 0.

"So who do we play against next?"

"I dunno."

"What you mean 'I dunno'?"

"Well, Kellsek has us playing against Mallatarsland, but in the brackets, they have us playing McPsychoville. So I dunno."

"Have you contacted them about it?"

"Yes, they just haven't gotten back to us yet. I hope we play Mallatarsland, I think we can beat them easier."

"On paper the Walruses seem to be better matched there. Keep calling them."

"I was just about to when you came in, so vamanos."

“…ing in rough anal sex with an otter. Robbie Hoddo, for TTO Evening News, Lesperance.”

“Alright, thank you Robbie. Disturbing stuff there, Jenny.”

“Absolutely Greg. Moving quickly on to the sports new now I think and, well, the dream is dead. Seb Mulrooney’s C&M have been knocked out of the ice hockey world cup. Here’s Lizzy Capper in Mazinaw, to pick up all the piec–”

“Yes, if you can just about here me because my god, it’s noisy here; I’m in Kelssek as the Blue Pucks bag their bags and head home. And in all honesty it would be hard to say they deserved anything else, because in the Saddledome Kura-Pelland were simply the better side.”

“God, it’s going to be awful, isn’t it?”

“What?”

“Three-nil up and cruising before the first period was out, the Kura-Pellandis looked set to hand C&M a thumping defeat. But no-one could’ve quite predicted the swings and roundabouts that were about to occur. In the first two minutes of the second period C&M – and more pertinently Alex Fox – pulled two back; a scoreline that would send our lot through to the second stage on goal difference.”

“Well, you know what hockey fans are like. They’re probably gonna rage through Kelssek, setting fire to the embassy and stuff. Everybody else does.”

“But it was a fleeting thought, because Kura-Pelland would soon pull away once more during an extended powerplay.”

“Sorry, the C&M fans are going to trawl all the way back to Neorvins, just so they can attack their own embassy?”

“That sent their fans into raptures, but the news coming out of Neorvins wasn’t quite so positive – that Qazox still weren’t able to take the lead against Wezleana. Fox hit his hat-trick but it all seemed too little too late – until C&M got a powerplay of their own and William De Mai punished some slack defending.”

“Ah… Good point. It’d get ‘em on the podcast, though.”

“That produced a roar from the Candelariasians the likes of which I’ve never heard, but moments later that trickled away as disbelief set in: Qazox, the favourites, had failed to win in ordinary time, and that meant that unheralded Wezleana, not either of the two in Mazinaw would sale on through. Gutting.”

“That’s upping the ante a bit from ‘Hello Mum!’ banners, isn’t it Greg?”

“This Lizzy Capper, for TTO Evening News, Mazinaw.”

“Alright, it was only a thought, they’re just so fucking violent, I… Are we on the air?”

http://img355.imageshack.us/img355/9098/labrutellienseep2.png
February 18, 2008
by Angelo di Trincone
Nord-Brutlandese National Ice Hockey Team Advances
LATROBE, Kelssek - The Nord-Brutlandese National Ice Hockey Team advanced to the second round by defeating fellow South Pacific nation Krasslor 5-2 at the Great Bear Arena in the city of Latrobe.

The game opened with a surprise goal by center Lachlan Stubblefield within the first few minutes. A few seconds later, Stubblefield sustained a torn ligament on the left knee, in part due to the aggressive defense of the Krasslorian defenders. The Krasslorian team then scored two goals, but this streak was interrupted when Coach Robledo upped the ante by entering the power forward Bruno Zocca and the enforcer Pancrazio Massiminiani. Zocca and Massiminani, along with forward Clyde MacKinnon, pursued a more aggressive play that culminated in the Nord-Brutlandese team scoring four more goals, leaving the final score at 5-2 at the end of the game.

This win allowed Brutland and Norden to advance to the second round of games, playing again against Krasslor in a best-of-three series at the Colisée de Saint-Remy, Saint-Remy.
OOC: The message you have entered is too short. Please lengthen your message to at least 1 characters.

Dannistrian Sun, National Edition
Special Sports Supplement on Ice Hockey World Cup

"We must win next 2 games" says manager

Bill Zah'pha, manager of the BYB's, admitted that the national side needs to improve following a 2-3 defeat to the Elves Security Forces in a match that stretched into overtime.

The match itself started badly, with the ESF team smashing one past the defence, leaving the BYB's looking very vulnurable. A tense standoff continued well until the end of the first period. The second period saw the puck tearing past the entire team, making the score 2-0 to the ESF. At this point, the current defence line was substituted for the legendary pairing of Carter "Castle" Smith and Wang Bin Mei, who proceded to make things problematic for the ESF team, leaving the offence look a bit scrappy.

The breakthrough came during the latter half of the second period when captain Donald Gah'ns screamed past the ESF defence and tapped one home, making the score 2-1. Then, winger Har'lou Fredrickson, in the dying seconds of the second period, danced around the opposition to push one home. Score now 2-2.

The third period was a battle of attrition as the two sides attempted to wear one another down. There were several times where Donald Gah'ns looked like he could force a win for the Dannistrian side, but he was thwarted several times by the ESF defence. Eventually the third period ticked down to the end whistle and the game was to be decided in overtime. Both sides were looking very tired and ultimately the Dannistrians seemed to forget which way the puck was heading, allowing the ESF team to smash one home. Result, 3-2 to the Elves.

In an interview held after the match, Bill Zah'pha admitted the team needs to improve.
"I admit that wasn't our strongest game. We need to do better. Far better in order to win the next 2 games. In fact, I would go as far to say this. We must win next 2 games. We cannot allow petty differences to divide us, like the Bai Lungese team. We need to remain focused and united, because we cannot rely on anyone else except ourselves. We must show the rest of the world we are no longer a joke bogey team put in for the entertainment of the bigger teams. We can stand up on our own two feet. Nay, we must stand on our own two feet, as we are carrying the entire weight of one nation on our shoulders and to give anything less than our all would be the greatest injustice of all. I believe the quote from the late Prime Minister Har'ii Wilson, post 1982 civil war:

'We were once a divided island. We almost brought each other to our knees with the infighting, the bickering, the war...By the grace of Hal'vo, we now have the chance to rebuild and stand up once more. To stand up as one. To step foward as one. To be one. One island. One nation. One people. Because ultimately, we are all Dannistrians and without unity, there is nothing...without unity, we will never win...'"

Question Thirty-Two: How did Qazox do in the first game of the Quarterfinals against Wezleana?
Answer: Unlike the group match, Qazox took early control of the game and lead 3-0 after one period and 5-1 after 2. The 7-2 win marks one of the biggest margins the Pheonix have ever won by.

Question Thirty-Three: Which team(s) impressed you the most?
Answer: Neue Schottland, with their win and Dannistaan for forcing ESF into a 2nd OT.

Question Thirty-Four: Which team(s) impressed you the least?
Answer: Wezleana, who forced OT against us last time around, looked lost out on the ice, and Mallatarsland didn't look great against Prux.


BOX SCORE

Wezleana 0-1-1 2
QAZOX 3-2-2 7


GOAL SUMMARY:
FIRST PERIOD:
QAZ- Leon Guercio: 5:11 (PP)
QAZ- Jay Callen: 8:56 (PP)
QAZ- Theodore Cowling: 18:03

SECOND PERIOD
QAZ- Jerome Leventhal: 2:57 (SH)
Wez: 9:40
QAZ- Theodore Borchers: 17:29

THIRD PERIOD
Wez: 4:40
QAZ- Theodore Borchers: 7:07
QAZ- Alvin Gutshall: 16:12

OVERALL STATS
Wezleana: 18 shots (4-7-7)
Qazox: 42 shots (19-13-10)

Penalties:
Wezleana: 3 for 9 minutes
Qazox: 2 for 4 minutes

Powerplay
Wezleana: 0-2
Qazox: 2-3

GOALIES:
Wezleana: Tom Eshtaa (19 saves/23 Shots) (left 2:57 in 2nd)
Frank DeLorni (16 saves/19 shots)
Qazox: Miguel Englert (16 saves/18 shots)

"YES!!! We're one step closer to the finals!"

"What do you mean? We just won the first game of the 3 game series?"

"True, but winning the first match, teams win the series about 90% of the time, so we're almost golden here!"

"Clidiotlump was great in net again wasn't he.. err.. she.. err it?"

"Yeah she was, I think she's pregnant though. She ate about 20 pounds of fish right after the match. I might have to start Flugskull for the next match, to be sure."

"Well, in a way, I hope not, She's done great in net. But Flugskull's even bigger than she is, so maybe it will work out for the best."

Question Thirty-Five: How did Qazox do in the second game of the Round of 16 against Wezleana?
Answer: A 4-2 win advanced the team into the Quarterfinals against the winner of the Kelssek-Oliverry series, which is tied at 1-1. The Phoenix are now 5-0 in the tourney.

Question Thirty-Six: Which team(s) impressed you the most?
Answer: Krasslor and Brutland and Norden. They each left every thing on the ice in a 4-OT classic that will be talked about for years to come.

Question Thirty-Seven: Which team(s) impressed you the least?
Answer: Neue Schottland, who dominated Sqournshelous in Game One of their series, got dominated in Game Two.

Question Thirty-Eight: Which teams will win their Game 3's?
Answer: Brutland and Norden, Sqournshelous and Kelssek.

BOX SCORE

Wezleana 0-2-0 2
QAZOX 1-1-2 4


GOAL SUMMARY:
FIRST PERIOD:
QAZ- Jon Bruggeman: 11:03

SECOND PERIOD
Wez: 5:09
Wez: 13:18
QAZ- Leon Soltero: 19:07

THIRD PERIOD
QAZ- Leon Guercio: 15:58
QAZ- Clifford Hilt: 19:51 (EN)

OVERALL STATS
Wezleana: 23 shots (9-5-9)
Qazox: 31 shots (11-8-12)

Penalties:
Wezleana: 0 for 0 minutes
Qazox: 3 for 6 minutes

Powerplay
Wezleana: 0-3
Qazox: 0-0

GOALIES:
Wezleana: Tom Eshtaa (27 saves/30 Shots) (out of net 19:26 to 19:51 in 3rd)
Qazox: Miguel Englert (21 saves/23 shots)

So, we're through already.

It helped that we drew the same team. We're second seeds (behind only Qazox, as in the Qazox, defending champions Qazox), they were fifteenth. And the scorelines showed it: we won each game by three goals, 6-3 and 4-1.

The first game had three minutes worth of 5-on-5, too much for my liking. It's not that they're particularly violent, just more tactical-foul oriented. (What else?) The more open ice was what probably led to #6's goal. And #5 scored a hat trick. (#10 had the other two goals.) No excessive celebration, unsurprisingly. Overconfidence is not one of our problems.

I can't tell how #1 reacted to giving up three goals (almost doubling its career total), and don't want to ask, but I guess that's not the kind of play I'd like to see. Yeah, it was a very offensive game, but still...

Fortunately, just one today. And four for us (#9 with a slapshot, #4 twice, and #11 scoring...why I'm counting I'll never know.)

It all seems too easy. I'm really concerned as to who programmed these things to know...well, anything about hockey. I tried to remember our old team. It's embarrassing, but I don't know them all. I never did. Maybe it was being a sub, maybe it was not having lines to practice with...It's ridiculous. If we weren't enough of a team to remember each other one tournament down the line, who am I to criticize a bunch of robots? (More to the point, how did we...make the quarterfinals?)

But that's where we are now. And favored to boot, if the seeds mean anything. Some kind of "tree" are these playoff things: you start with a bunch of seeds, and only one is left at the end. Vickery's a nice city, actual trees. Natural and wild. Foreign.

Next up is either Squornshelous (who are a historic hockey side) or Neue Schottland (who aren't). They're tied right now, while we swept and have a game to chill out. Or as much chilling out as hockey teams do.

Sing Ming Daily News
Get more out of life!

Headlines

Pak Chi Wu and Wang Ri Dang = MURDERERS! Coach Kim dies in hospital.

http://img181.imageshack.us/img181/9318/hospital2302qf4.jpg

Players of the Oldboys, Pak Chi Wu and Wang Ri Dang are officially murderers as they brutally murdered own coach with their hockey sticks.

The coach of the Oldboys has died in an operating theatre at a Laneux hospital in Kelssek. Doctors have fought hard to keep Kim Dong Wen alive from a internal bleeding from his head but time was quick on the doctors and his condition fell rock bottom. Doctors have attempted perform CPR and defibrillated the 65 year old Kim several times but to no avail.

Doctors officially declared him dead at 9.51 AM today and have informed the family of Mr Kim.

"...the internal bleeding in his brain is the final nail in the coffin which resulted in his death..."

-Didier Reno M.D.

The death of Mr Kim is met with widespread condemnation, most notably from Secretary of State, Zhou Minlang. He called for both players to be locked in jail for "a long, long time".

The Kelssekian police have yet to decide if they are going to charge these criminals with murder.

"Yes, we're into the Quarterfinals, in our first attempt!"

"Told ya, Walruses were made to play hockey. Now if we could convince the PFA to use them for soccer."

"Doubt it, Walruses can't stand grass and not to mention most of the countries probably are in the tropics, unlike us."

"Well Flugskull did ok in net today, and I can't believe that both Blungbroob
Jongbum had 2 goals each again!"

"And Mormcheese got the empty netters in both matches? So who do we play next?"

"The winner of the Brutland and Norden-Krasslor series."

"Those guys? didn't they play a 4-OT game last night?"

"Yep, and the first game came down to the final minute as well. I bet they'll be tired, while the Walruses get to relax for a couple more days."

"That's good, Clidiotlump needs as much as she can get. It's offical, She's pregnant."

"So, who's the father?"

"Don't know yet, I'm still running DNA profiles on the fetus."

Question Thirty-Nine: HWho does Qazox face in the Quarterfinals ?
Answer: Kelssek. The defending champions against the hosts makes for a very intriguing matchup. Each team has had a rather impressive Hockey history as of late, but this marks the 1st ever on ice meeting between the two nations since the 2nd Winter Olympics, over a decade ago.

Question Forty: Who wins the Qazox-Kelssek Series?
Answer: This one could go either way. Qazox has only lost 2 matches in the last 3 years, while Kelssek hasn't been too bad either. But the Pheonix win the series 2 games to 1, winning in OT in Game 3.

Question Forty-One: Which other Quarterfinal Series is the most interesting, besides Qazox-Kelssek?
Answer: All 6 of the other Quarterfinalists are pretty much evenly matched, but the best matchup will be ESF-Bazalonia. That series should go 3 games as well.

Question Forty-Two: So, which teams will advance to the Semifinals?
Answer: Qazox in 3 over Kelssek, Bazalonia in 3 over ESF, Prux in 3 over fellow suprise Krasslor, and Plutoni will sweep Neue Schottland.

Automatically translated to English from French (choose other languages?)

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/media/lacitoyen-laneux.gif

Wednesday 27 February 2008 | NEWS LOCAL | Patrice Tremblay

Bai Lung players to face charges of manslaughter

Two hockey players have been formally had improved their assault charges of manslaughter after the death of Kim Dong Wen, the head coach of the national team of the Bai Lung, a stroke on Sunday.

The provincial prosecutor have reportedly offered a plea which would see players of each sentence of seven years. Sources said that they had originally planned to put pressure on the second-degree murder charges, but felt that this would make it more difficult to get a conviction.

Pak Chi Wu and Wang Ri Dang were accused of attacking Mr. Kim with their sticks after the World Cup match against Kelssek. The loss of 5-3 in the match which saw Bai in the lung eliminated from the tournament. Mr. Kim reportedly criticized Kelssek the winning goal on the two players.

Mr. Kim died of a cerebral hemorrhage on Sunday, despite attempts by doctors at the General Hospital Laneux to save him. Swelling in his brain has been said that doctors because of the alleged assault led to the stroke, according to the doctor who treated him, who had done surgeon several times during the past week to remove clots blood.

Media Bai in the lung were quick to label them as the two assassins, and a government official asked that they be «locked up for a long, long time».

Sometimes I realize that I love hockey.

It sounds stupid, I know, but I don't get to sit down and really watch too many games. The quarterfinals don't seem like the best place to start, but Neue Schottland was underwhelming. Only Drew Rodgers' goal interrupted our barrage: goals came from #4, 6, and 12.

So it wasn't quite a barrage, then. It was much more...elegant. If it hadn't been for the glistening metallic nature of the Plutonian team (bit of a giveaway), I might not have been able to figure out what was going on. The way #2 outmaneuvered Rick Harris behind the goal? Impressive.

The games will only get better as we go on, of course, assuming we do-and we'd be favorites all the way to the final, could we make it. Even in group play, we were a top seed.

It still seems undeserved, but I'm not going to argue. If things keep going so well, it's fun to be along for the ride.

Hopefully the boys aren't too tired to play the next one. I informed Coach Lavergne that he would be hard-pressed to find another job in Neue Schottland if the team put forth another lackluster effort. So he skated them quite heavily.

Regardless of the outcome of the next game(s), it's been a great run, we've surprised a lot of people.
Here's to some good ole' time hockey!

Question Forty-three: How did Qazox do against Kelssek in the 1st game of the Quarterfinals?
Answer: A very hard fought 6-4 win over the shots, with Qazox coming back twice from 2-goal deficits. Until an empty-net goal by Theodore Borchers, this match could have gone either way.

Question Forty-Four: Which team(s) impressed you the most today?
Answer: Prux, who easily handled Krasslor 5-2, in a game that was not as clos as it seemed.

Question Forty-Five: Which team(s) impressed you the least today?
Answer: None, All eight teams were very impressive, as they should be at this stage.

Question Forty-six: Which losing team(s) will force a game 3 tommorrow night?
Answer: ESF and Kelssek. The hosts will not go down without a fight and ESF is tough to beat twice in a row.

BOX SCORE

QAZOX 1-3-2 6
Kelssek 2-2-0 4


GOAL SUMMARY:
FIRST PERIOD:
Kelssek- Neville Keanes: 3:23 (PP)
Kelssek- Gary Bavarillo: 8:39
QAZ- Theodore Cowling: 16:03

SECOND PERIOD
Kelssek- Neville Keanes: 6:00
QAZ- Jay Callen: 9:16
QAZ- Jay Callen: 13:56
QAZ- Warren Updike: 17:01
Kelssek- Sydney Crawford: 19:48

THIRD PERIOD
QAZ- Leon Soltero: 6:11
QAZ- Theodore Borchers: 19:56 (EN)

OVERALL STATS
Qazox: 38 shots (13-11-14)
Kelssek: 36 shots (15-11-9)

Penalties:
Qazox: 5 for 12 minutes (one was a Double-minor)
Kelssek: 4 for 8 minutes

Powerplay
Qazox: 0-4
Kelssek: 1-4

GOALIES:
Qazox: Miguel Englert (32 saves/36 shots)
Kelssek: Benoit Laharrague: (32 saves/35 shots) (pulled at 19:08 of 3rd)

"We're 5 wins away now, from the Title! A 5-2 win today!"

"Nice. Didya hear? Gearlosse's losers lost! Now we can prove that we deserve the lion's share of the funding."

"I hope so, I think we need to make the finals for the company to even take notice though."

"So did the DNA results comeback yet?"

"Yep, guess who's the father of Clidiotlump's baby?"

"Mormcheese? Thunphblunk? Borkbumble?"

"Nope, nope, Nope. Flunkuck is."

"FLUNKUCK???? I thought he was sterile?"

"Appearently not. And the pup is going to be a female."

"Any ideas as for when the pup will be born?"

"In about 7 months or so. Just before the company's tour of the Continuum."

"Whew, glad that we can still do Walruses on Ice, the Musical! This hockey stuff is fun, but i think that the walruses are a bit bored out there sometimes."

We won. 3-1. Again.

Is my life easy or what?

Oh, there were close calls. Pyle was impressive, Moore and White were solid, Miles got a goal for Neue Schottland. Lavergne's been working his team, and it showed. But after #5, 10, and...uh...5 again were done, we emerged the better team.

Lavergne was very involved in the game, making substitutions and shaking things up when they weren't working. In some ways I was jealous-that's what it means to be a coach. But more often I wasn't. I know I could never do that.

So, a sweep (have we lost a game yet?) sends us through to the semifinals. Where we'll play...Bazalonia.

Wait, we? Whatever. Bazalonia's too good. I don't think we, or they, can do it.

But I hope I'm wrong.

Question Forty-Seven: How did Qazox do against Kelssek in the 2nd game of the Quarterfinals?
Answer: Qazox finally lost, a 5-4 thriller in which each team lead twice in the 3rd period, but the Hosts, with 4 goals in the third, managed to hold off a last minute 6-on-4 powerplay to send the series to a game 3.

Question Forty-Eight: Which team(s) impressed you the most today?
Answer: Bazalonia, our Dark horse pick, made the Semis, with an impressive 3-0 win over ESF.

Question Forty-Nine: Which team(s) impressed you the least today?
Answer: Krasslor, they lead 1-0 early and allowed 3 third period goals, the last coming with 52 seconds left, just after pulling the goalie for an extra attacker.

Question Fifty: Who wins Game 3 tonight?
Answer: Could go either way. But all bias aside, Qazox in OT.

BOX SCORE

QAZOX 1-1-2 4
Kelssek 0-1-4 5


GOAL SUMMARY:
FIRST PERIOD:
QAZ- Jon Bruggeman: 14:51

SECOND PERIOD
Kelssek- Laurent Oberforsky: 12:58
QAZ- Clifford Hilt: 17:23


THIRD PERIOD
Kelssek- Phillip Adams: 1:18
Kelssek- Sydney Crawford: 5:58
QAZ- Theodore Cowling: 11:23 (PP)
QAZ- Theodore Borchers: 15:06
Kelssek- Sydney Crawford: 17:12
Kelssek- Shaun O'Leary: 18:42 (SH)

OVERALL STATS
Qazox: 41 shots (13-10-19)
Kelssek: 43 shots (9-12-22)

Penalties:
Qazox: 7 for 14 minutes
Kelssek: 5 for 10 minutes

Powerplay
Qazox: 1-5
Kelssek: 0-7

GOALIES:
Qazox: Miguel Englert (38 saves/43 shots)
Kelssek: Benoit Laharrague: (37 saves/41 shots)

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/media/themercury.png

O'Leary keeps Kelssek alive

A 20-year old lad from Haligonia was the difference-maker last night as Shaun O'Leary scored a shorthanded go-ahead goal in the dying minutes of the 3rd period to keep Kelssek in the World Cup of Hockey.

It was Gary Bavarillo who made the most of an odd man rush, breaking up a D-to-D pass on the blue line as Qazox tried to get set up on a late powerplay. Fighting off a check from Oscar Maresca he threaded the pass to O'Leary, who made no mistake with Miguel Englert sprawling in vain.

Kelssek then held off a desperate Qazox attack with the goalie pulled, and prevailed 5-4 on the goal to send the quarterfinal series to a third deciding game tonight at Mazinaw's Saddledome.

The efforts of Sydney Crawford, who was named first star of the game, were also critical. The Red Star Clayquot left wing bagged a double in a wild third peroid. It was a hard-fought victory for Kelssek which left the sell-out crowd of over 18,000 euphoric.

Excitement is building ahead of the game tonight, with many hoping Kelssek can use the home advantage to upset the defending champions. The game is being broadcast live on KBC1 from 17:00 tonight.

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

"What what?"

"Hidiotuzz just scored again and it's now 4-1 with only a minute left!"

"So we're basically into the Semifinals?"

"Yep, unless we allow 4 goals in 50 seconds."

"So who are we going to play next?"

"Either Kelssek, the Hosts of this tourney, or.. crap. Qazox, the defending champions."

"So what about them?"

"The defending champions? Who knows what sort of weird teams they've faced before? Maybe Robotic Penguins or Giant Bananas or even crazed monks. Walruses shouldn't be a problem for them, one would think."

"Hmmm. What about the hosts?"

"It's always tough to win on the road anyway, especially in front of 20 thousand rabid hockey fans."

"Hey, no one expected us to win one dang game and here we are in the Semifinals. I think that Fate is smiling upon us."

"Great, now you've screwed us over!"

"We've empirically proven that Margaret didn't and Doesn't exist! I don't think we've got anything to worry about. Let Qazox and Kelssek bash in each other for another 60+ minutes, they'll be more tired than us."

"When you put it that way...."

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/media/etnierfp.png

Keano the hero
Captain sparks thrilling comeback as Kelssek go through to semi-finals


http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/kskhockey-celebrate.jpg
A celebratory Team Kelssek mobs goalie Benoit Laharrague as the horn blows to end the game. Kelssek progressed through to the semi-finals of the 5th World Cup of Hockey with a 5-3 win over defending champions Qazox. (IAN DEMAIN/KELSSEKIAN PRESS)


By: Adrian Reese for EFP and The Kelssekian Press
Sunday, March 2 2008

Down 3-0 as the clocked ticked over the game's halfway mark, Kelssek's World Cup looked like it was over. Hope had given way to fustration, the momentum had ground to a halt, and the Saddledome in Mazinaw had become quiet as a library - save for the travelling Qazox fans. The quality of the defending champions had won the day.

Enter Neville Keanes. He showed just why he wears the C and what it means to lead as his grit and determination sparked the comeback to end all comebacks as he stepped up, grabbed the game by the scruff of the neck, and shook it until victory was won.

It's difficult to say whether it was the Kelssek or Qazox team which was more shocked when he took on three Qazox players at one go, crashed the net, and jammed the puck between the right post and the not-fast-enough pad of Miguel Englert.

As Keanes skated back to the bench he bellowed something and pumped his fist towards his teammates - some said it was "come on!", or "jump on!" but whatever it was, it surely was the moment when the entire game turned. Barely 73 seconds later Keanes had a second point, this one an assist, as his shot from the high slot was deflected past the glove of Englert by Laurent Oberforsky.

The crowd ignited and from then on, even though they went to the second intermission with the scoreline 3-2 to Qazox, the game had already been won; putting three more goals past a shell-shocked Qazox team seemed a formality. Gary Bavarillo tied it up quickly in a goalmouth scramble as Theodore Cowling served an inopportune hooking penalty. Then Kelssek took the lead when Sydney Crawford scored his eighth of the tournament with a wicked backhand off a juicy rebound, the Saddledome reverberating throughout with an almighty noise as the fans yelled themselves hoarse and struck various objects on various other objects, making it very hard for all us sportswriters to concentrate on our reports.

It was only fitting that Keanes himself put the final nail in the coffin, wiring a slap shot from the neutral zone dead centre into the empty net as Qazox tried to find an equaliser in the final seconds, which were counted down by the crowd. The Second Coming could have occurred at centre ice and no one would have noticed as the horn to end the game sounded and, as impossible as it seemed, the noise went several decibels higher.

Observers later said that the game might as well have been the final, and if Kelssek does win the World Cup on home soil, the importance of this game, far beyond the obvious fact that it secured passage to the semi-finals, will be impossible to understate.

Question Fifty-One: Who won Game 3?
Answer: Qazox lead 3-0, halfway through the 2nd period, but 5 unswered goals by Kelssek, including the dagger, a Neville Keanes goal with 9 seconds left to end any of Qazox' chances of a repeat.

Question Fifty-Two: Who wins the semifinals?
Answer: Bazalonia looks to be a team of destiny and could knock off Plutoni. Prux' shocking run will come to an end against Kelssek.

Question Fifty-Three: What's next for Qazox?
Answer: Well they are applying to host the 6th World Cup of Hockey, although the vote isn't for 3 years, Qazox is the early favorite to host.

BOX SCORE

QAZOX 1-2-0 3
Kelssek 0-2-3 5


GOAL SUMMARY:
FIRST PERIOD:
QAZ- Theodore Borchers: 5:13

SECOND PERIOD
QAZ- Theodore Borchers: 3:19 (PP)
QAZ- Jim Barcelo: 9:57
Kelssek- Neville Keanes: 10:39
Kelssek- Laurent Oberforsky: 11:52

THIRD PERIOD
Kelssek- Gary Bavarillo: 4:18 (PP)
Kelssek- Sydney Crawford: 8:27
Kelssek- Neville Keanes: 19:51 (EN)

OVERALL STATS
Qazox: 38 shots (11-15-12)
Kelssek: 37 shots (8-14-15)

Penalties:
Qazox: 4 for 11 minutes
Kelssek: 2 for 7 minutes

Powerplay
Qazox: 1-1
Kelssek: 1-3

GOALIES:
Qazox: Miguel Englert (32 saves/36 shots) (pulled at 19:08 of 3rd)
Kelssek: Benoit Laharrague: (35 saves/38 shots)

Kelssek beat Qazox in the third game of that series, which means that with Qazox out of it, we're technically favorites.

Bazalonia, of course, missed the memo, and beat us soundly. 4-2, with #5 and 6 getting our goals-a lucky break at the end of the first period and a nearly-meaningless shot in the third.

The Icealops don't seem quite what they once were, though it hasn't hurt. I get the feeling they can be beat, but it'll take a better team than ours to do it. Our players seem a little glazed-over, though I can't exactly tell. I'm worried they might be fixated on trying to figure out what went wrong today-they're not used to losing. This shouldn't concern me as much as it does.

I've been trying to remember who, exactly, offered me this job, and why. Surely they'd have known how little I would do?

...Oh yeah, I volunteered. Must have thought it would be fun. Or engaging. Or something like that.

Probably just the loss putting me in a funk. Which is still a bit unnerving.

"So how'd we do against Kelssek in the Semis?"

"Horrible. We not only lost 3-0, we also lost Flugskull and Fuzzgelch in net. They came down with a rather nasty sickness. i think it was the Alabacore tuna, it might have been bad."

"Great, 2 of our "keepers' are sick and the other is pregnant. Who'd you put into net?"

"Mormcheese, I know he's a runt, but he did stop 32 of 33 shots."

"So any chance we can win tommorrow?"

"I don't know, but we've sold out the "Walruses on Ice" Tour in only 7 hours."

"Good, we need the research money."

Question Fifty-Four: Who impressed you in the 1st games of the Semifinals?
Answer: Both Kelssek, a 3-0 winner over Prux, and Our Dark Horse Pick Bazalonia, 4-2 winners over Plutoni, did rather well, and are in control of the series.

Question Fifty-Four: Who has the better chance of forcing a Game 3?
Answer: Plutoni. Prux has now lost all three of its goalies and is using a forward as a goalie. They had a great run, but it's over tommorrow.

"Oh my farking god."

"What... What?"

"We just sent it to a third game."

"No way!"

"Yep. Mormcheese blocked a penalty shot and Wunkgolt scored the winner, all in the first 2 minutes of Overtime."

"So now what? We had tickets already to have the walruses go from Kelssek to the first stop on the tour tommorrow."

"Guess we'll have to exchange that flight for a later one."

"Guess so. Do you think they can win game 3?"

"The way this tourney has gone, maybe."

Question Fifty-Five: So, two Game Threes. Which teams win?
Answer: Too be honest, I don't really know. Each of the 4 teams left can win, and all have something to prove. Going out a limb and saying Prux and Bazalonia, though if it goes the other way, i won't be suprised.

Question Fifty-Six: Are Psychic? You nailed both the game three winners!
Answer: Like I said yesterday, Just going out on a limb.

Question Fifty-Seven: We finally have reached the Finals. So which Underdog gets the title?
Answer: I said it from the beginning, and so far they've proven me right, so Bazalonia in 3 over Prux, while Kelssek takes home third place.

"Do you believe in strange occurances?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"We won."

"No farking way! we came back from a 0-1 series deficit and 0-2 in game 3 and we're in the finals?"

"Yep, we won 4-2, thanks to a hattrick by Mulfpunb in the 3rd period."

"Damn."

"What now?"

"We're going to have to cancel the first leg of the Walruses on Ice."

"Yeah, but the money we're getting from making the finals will more than mak up for it."

"Really? Then I guess we shouldn't feel too bad about it then."

Whew. Too tired to write after game two, which is sad as I did nothing, but it was exhilarating.

Six-two! I was scared, but did they ever bounce back. A hat trick for #4, everyone in the second line of forwards scoring...The only thing that could have gone wrong was too much self-confidence.

Robots don't believe in rivalries. Sure, there can be tactical variations based on previous experience with opponents, but they don't care that Bazalonia knocked us out last time around.

I'm not sure the Icealops cared, either. In order to have a rivalry, there has to be some competition. A team you can beat any time out is no fun at all. But we did force a game three. Both times.

After the romp, anything would have been a letdown, and it was. #6 scored two minutes in, and it was too good to be true. Yeah, it stayed competitive-we were never more than two goals behind (3-1 before #10's first)-and yet. Bazalonia, silently, imperiously, moves on.

I'd like to be done with it, in some ways, but we've got the hosts next. The first time I played was against them last cup-we thought three goals was too many, how about five?!

But six-two. Dang. I'm impressed, I'll grant that. No matter how the Kelssek series goes, any Plutoni team that beats Bazalonia like that is one I'm proud to be associated with.

"Well we're up against the wall again."

"Really? Didn't we come back in the semis?"

"True, but losing 6-3 to Bazalonia, even I don't think we'll win the series."

"Dangit! If we get swept, then we might have to un-cancel that date in Liverpool England, and they were ticked off enough that we canceled."

"Well hopefully we'll rebound in game 2."

"I hope so. The walruses are beginning to get on my nerves."

"At least you don't have to deal with the fans, you lucky bastard."

"Yeah. instead i have to deal with 2 dozen 500 lb. walruses."

"Get in here quick, Deter!"

"What now, Johann?"

"My secretary is a farking moron."

"I already know that, so why do I have to come in so damn quickly?"

"Turns out WE won game 1 6-3, not lost it."

"So, we're up 1-0 on Bazalonia then?"

"Nope.. We won the whole farking thing!"

"Johann... please tell me your not joking."

"Deter, I AM NOT JOKING"

"So we won the World Cup of Hockey then?"

"Yes, Deter, we won."

"FARK!"

"What was that for?"

"Because, Johann, now we have to put up with these damn walruses again."

"Huh?"

"Because we won, we automatically qualify for the next one, and if I know the Prux Sports Association, they'll send the same team again. Remember a few years agao we had that group of sandwiches win the Baptism of Fire? They kept them around for the next two World Cups and Cup of Harmonies."

"Really? Deter, They're not so bad, and think of the money we'll get for the WORLD HOCKEY CHAMPION Walruses on ice!"

"Johann, I knew I should have stayed with the elephants, but no I had to take care of walruses, and look where it got me! At least 4 more farking years with them! I could've moved on to seahorses, a real job!"

"Deter, sometimes I think you'll complain even if you won the lottery."

"If not for taxes, then I probably wouldn't."

Home again-nobody seems to know, or care, how it went. I don't mind. Sometimes not caring is the best we can get. It's better than we did in two tournaments, after all. People aren't rioting. I'll take what I can get.

I tell myself I'm too old for this kind of thing-but I'm not really old, am I? Just old enough to know that I've never had a clue. Anyhow, if I have to keep telling myself that, there's something inside that disagrees. That there's room for me, wherever I wind up next.

Will says we should start up a league. As in, like, a...league. There'd be room for a coach there, right? Not like I have anything better to do.

I'm sure I'll find something to analyze going back over the Kelssek games, but at the moment it's a little too raw to watch straight through. I got halfway through the second game on the flight home, but after four goals Keanes gets a little boring.

So I watched the second Bazalonia game again. Not particularly well-played, really, but enjoyable. Three blowouts-I'm pleased when my team wins and disappointed when it loses. What does that make me? Human?

Good enough.