Vojvodina-Nihon
17-01-2008, 03:22
Vojvodina-Nihon In an unprecedented move, Puppet Monarch Alistair I of the small and particularly divided nation of Vojvodina-Nihon has announced his intentions to bring the rest of the country under his rule, at least nominally.
"I'm tired of being a puppet monarch," His Majesty on Strings reportedly said in a rare press conference, although his mouth did not appear to move in exact synchronization with his speech. "I wish to exert greater responsibilities and hold real power for once." Alistair I added that he found being made of wood exceedingly uncomfortable, and wished to become a flesh-and-blood human being.
In addition to his dissatisfaction with his current position, the Puppet Monarch has expressed concerns over the state of Vojvodina-Nihon itself. "For too long.... Vojvodina-Nihon has been divided among many warring subgovernments. As a direct result of that, many subgovernments are technologically backwards; many people do not have access to power lines, or processed foods, or electromagnetic radiation, or even such basic necessities as insurance companies and tax collectors." Alistair argued that without a unified leadership, the nation would never prosper. "We can look forward to an increasingly bleak future without a corruption-free leadership such as is espoused by my person."
Reactions to HMS's proclamation were varied. Longtime allies such as Random and Boingg announced that they had no objections to being placed under Alistair's rule, especially given his promises of near-complete sovereignty of the governments he rules. Boing Co-ordinator Albert Rogers said from his trampoline, "Alistair is a good friend and an honourable man. As long as he doesn't interfere with our local customs and lifestyles, and allows us to live largely as we do now, I have no objections to his becoming High King."
Other Governments, however, such as Surfeit, remained steadfastly nationalist. Surfeit Premier Ivan Ivanovsky Chalmonevanterovyantskichaventoravishinovich, widely known as the world's tallest shortest giant, declared in a grand speech attended by billions of microorganisms, "Kings are totally uncool, dude," which drew a cavalcade of cheers, or maybe oxygen molecules. The Boondocks also declared that they would continue to defend themselves from intrusive government with guns and pickup trucks, so them King types better watch out and not mess with us.
In summary, woman on the street Jeannette Chabrier quipped: "OMIGOD A REAL LIVE JOURNALIST! Can you interview me?! Mom and Dad, if you're reading this, I love you and I didn't mean to crash your car! That fifth beer was Bob's idea!"
The issue will go to a vote tomorrow afternoon, although Alistair has stated that if the vote does not go in his favour, he will annex the rest of the nation with the aid of the 25-man Royal Guard and a whole host of courtiers. The Puppet Monarch has also expressed an intention to seek international support for the unification and economic revitalisation of Vojvodina-Nihon.
"I'm tired of being a puppet monarch," His Majesty on Strings reportedly said in a rare press conference, although his mouth did not appear to move in exact synchronization with his speech. "I wish to exert greater responsibilities and hold real power for once." Alistair I added that he found being made of wood exceedingly uncomfortable, and wished to become a flesh-and-blood human being.
In addition to his dissatisfaction with his current position, the Puppet Monarch has expressed concerns over the state of Vojvodina-Nihon itself. "For too long.... Vojvodina-Nihon has been divided among many warring subgovernments. As a direct result of that, many subgovernments are technologically backwards; many people do not have access to power lines, or processed foods, or electromagnetic radiation, or even such basic necessities as insurance companies and tax collectors." Alistair argued that without a unified leadership, the nation would never prosper. "We can look forward to an increasingly bleak future without a corruption-free leadership such as is espoused by my person."
Reactions to HMS's proclamation were varied. Longtime allies such as Random and Boingg announced that they had no objections to being placed under Alistair's rule, especially given his promises of near-complete sovereignty of the governments he rules. Boing Co-ordinator Albert Rogers said from his trampoline, "Alistair is a good friend and an honourable man. As long as he doesn't interfere with our local customs and lifestyles, and allows us to live largely as we do now, I have no objections to his becoming High King."
Other Governments, however, such as Surfeit, remained steadfastly nationalist. Surfeit Premier Ivan Ivanovsky Chalmonevanterovyantskichaventoravishinovich, widely known as the world's tallest shortest giant, declared in a grand speech attended by billions of microorganisms, "Kings are totally uncool, dude," which drew a cavalcade of cheers, or maybe oxygen molecules. The Boondocks also declared that they would continue to defend themselves from intrusive government with guns and pickup trucks, so them King types better watch out and not mess with us.
In summary, woman on the street Jeannette Chabrier quipped: "OMIGOD A REAL LIVE JOURNALIST! Can you interview me?! Mom and Dad, if you're reading this, I love you and I didn't mean to crash your car! That fifth beer was Bob's idea!"
The issue will go to a vote tomorrow afternoon, although Alistair has stated that if the vote does not go in his favour, he will annex the rest of the nation with the aid of the 25-man Royal Guard and a whole host of courtiers. The Puppet Monarch has also expressed an intention to seek international support for the unification and economic revitalisation of Vojvodina-Nihon.