Vojvodina-Nihon
29-11-2007, 18:21
"Xila, calculate the probability of success."
Probability of success is estimated at (space) seven eight point one six repeating percent.
"Identify consequences of failure."
Consequences may include (space) no change, (space) disfavour of the King, (space) poor diplomatic relations, (space) deaths of individuals, (space) destruction of resources, (space) totalization of the homeworld, (space) end of the universe, and (space) quantum probabilities relating to spontaneous massive existence failure.
"SMEF is a myth, no?"
Negative. There are reports of individuals and objects suffering from spontaneous massive existence failure. Most notoriously is the case of the individual formerly tagged as (space) Frederick AhkaHyer, of whom every atom ceased to exist simultaneously in an event with the probability of (space) one point nine two three times ten to the negative seven two five percent.
"Whatever. It's almost a myth. Execute command sequence tagged as message.kpf."
The requested sequence contains illegal commands. Please edit the commands or provide the computer with authority to execute them.
Eight rapid clicks.
"Message.kpf is authorized under command sequence 0185D7A3."
Please submit to fingerprint and retinal scans. (beep, electronic whine) Commander (space) Charan Valle (space), you have override authority. Proceed with requested function (space) "execute command sequence tagged as message.kpf."?
"Yes."
Command sequence has been executed. As per line 19 (Command: 'Shoot the messenger'), you will now be terminated by a giant robot with a laser cannon, while I laugh evilly.
"What the-"
Seriously, you humans. Can't you take a joke? (space) Ending your session, Commander (space) Charan Valle.
Long-Range Communication
Greetings to all and sundry. We are the Grand Galactic Royal Interstellar Federated Sovereign Parliamentary Democratic Imperium of Siev, Kash, and Avalon; a confederation of many nations united under the same banner of interstellar exploration and exploitation. We have peaceful intentions towards all species and desire only co-operation and understanding with aliens, including exchanges of scientific knowledge where applicable.
Therefore, we wish to invite representatives of other species to join us on George, Siev's largest and most developed moon, for a scientific and diplomatic conference. While we are aware that not all may be able to understand this message -- while it has been broadcasted in all major Sievian, Kashic, and Avalonian languages, aliens may have completely different ways of speaking and thus be summarily incapable of comprehension -- we hope that we shall be able to overcome the language and species barrier and work together for the good of sievkind.
For those who wish to come, but lack available transportation, simply notify us and we shall send one of our civilian starships to escort you to George.
Signed,
Sir Roger de Kook
Special Envoy from His Interstellar Majesty, By the Grace of God, John II Leyden, High King of Siev, Emperor of Kash, Sovereign of Avalon, President of the Galactic Parliament, Marshal of the Royal Sievian Ground Army, Admiral of the Royal Sievian Star Navy, Admiral of the Royal Sievian Surface Navy, Who sits upon the Ruby Throne, Holder of the Iron Goblet, Wearer of the Leydene Crown, Pope of the Interstellar Church of God, Slayer of the Warp Dragon, and Bearer of the Thrice-Blessed Thrice-Cursed Oaken Staff of Plato
Probability of success is estimated at (space) seven eight point one six repeating percent.
"Identify consequences of failure."
Consequences may include (space) no change, (space) disfavour of the King, (space) poor diplomatic relations, (space) deaths of individuals, (space) destruction of resources, (space) totalization of the homeworld, (space) end of the universe, and (space) quantum probabilities relating to spontaneous massive existence failure.
"SMEF is a myth, no?"
Negative. There are reports of individuals and objects suffering from spontaneous massive existence failure. Most notoriously is the case of the individual formerly tagged as (space) Frederick AhkaHyer, of whom every atom ceased to exist simultaneously in an event with the probability of (space) one point nine two three times ten to the negative seven two five percent.
"Whatever. It's almost a myth. Execute command sequence tagged as message.kpf."
The requested sequence contains illegal commands. Please edit the commands or provide the computer with authority to execute them.
Eight rapid clicks.
"Message.kpf is authorized under command sequence 0185D7A3."
Please submit to fingerprint and retinal scans. (beep, electronic whine) Commander (space) Charan Valle (space), you have override authority. Proceed with requested function (space) "execute command sequence tagged as message.kpf."?
"Yes."
Command sequence has been executed. As per line 19 (Command: 'Shoot the messenger'), you will now be terminated by a giant robot with a laser cannon, while I laugh evilly.
"What the-"
Seriously, you humans. Can't you take a joke? (space) Ending your session, Commander (space) Charan Valle.
Long-Range Communication
Greetings to all and sundry. We are the Grand Galactic Royal Interstellar Federated Sovereign Parliamentary Democratic Imperium of Siev, Kash, and Avalon; a confederation of many nations united under the same banner of interstellar exploration and exploitation. We have peaceful intentions towards all species and desire only co-operation and understanding with aliens, including exchanges of scientific knowledge where applicable.
Therefore, we wish to invite representatives of other species to join us on George, Siev's largest and most developed moon, for a scientific and diplomatic conference. While we are aware that not all may be able to understand this message -- while it has been broadcasted in all major Sievian, Kashic, and Avalonian languages, aliens may have completely different ways of speaking and thus be summarily incapable of comprehension -- we hope that we shall be able to overcome the language and species barrier and work together for the good of sievkind.
For those who wish to come, but lack available transportation, simply notify us and we shall send one of our civilian starships to escort you to George.
Signed,
Sir Roger de Kook
Special Envoy from His Interstellar Majesty, By the Grace of God, John II Leyden, High King of Siev, Emperor of Kash, Sovereign of Avalon, President of the Galactic Parliament, Marshal of the Royal Sievian Ground Army, Admiral of the Royal Sievian Star Navy, Admiral of the Royal Sievian Surface Navy, Who sits upon the Ruby Throne, Holder of the Iron Goblet, Wearer of the Leydene Crown, Pope of the Interstellar Church of God, Slayer of the Warp Dragon, and Bearer of the Thrice-Blessed Thrice-Cursed Oaken Staff of Plato