NationStates Jolt Archive

:mp5::sniper::gundge:the Empire of Earthintara has officaly declared war against The New Cultural Revolution of Dashanzi. i encourege anyone who voted against the Repeal the Common Sense act II join me

thank you for your time
-good day

Oh, how cute!

I find this a most touching tribute to our recent elimination of common sense: see, our labours are already bearing fruit! The New Cultural Revolution has existed for only a short period of time, so we are rather green when it comes to the follies of war. However, we are told that a bright and breezy conflict does wonders for a nation's international standing, so we gladly respond to your kind declaration in the positive.

We request a minor caveat to this call to arms. We are a people that love the arts; indeed, our fertile - nay, fecund! oh, how I do like words! - cultural environment is a source of enormous pride for us. With this in mind, I wonder if you would do us the honour of engaging us not with guns, swords, or even ploughshares, but with...

Interpretive dance!

What say ye, gentle ambassador?

Cry havoc, and so forth!

Benedictions,

I have been authorised by my government, which is trying to build its reputation in international diplomacy, to offer my services as referee or member of the judging panel, whichever the combatants prefer.

I would suggest that, before we begin, some clarification of admissible procedures would be appropriate.

Thus I put forward the following undertaking which, if acceptable to both sides, should be signed by an authorised officer of your respective governments.

Please be aware that, should you accept, failure to comply may result in serious international repercussions, not excluding a Deliberately Derogatory Reference in the General Assembly of the United Nations.

Very well, then:

The Undertaking


No Hakas. The use of WMDs in minor domestic conflagrations is internationally condemned, and is considered grounds for intervention by peace-loving nations throughout the known worlds. 1 (a) Haikus, however, are permitted, and may be awarded extra points.


No staves in Morris Dancing. Dancers will be permitted to substitute willow wands, the flexibility of which must be demonstrated to the referee's/panel's satisfaction before hostilities commence.


Steel-capped boots are permitted in tap-dancing, as it is considered that the aggressive potential of same is offset by the concomitant reduction in grace and flair.


Variation in genres mid-dance will be noted, and may be penalised or rewarded at the discretion of the referee/panel.


Inept performances of the Kangaroo Hunt Dance will be subject to most stringent penalties. The brief life of one whose name may no longer be mentioned brought this dance to such a peak of artistry that we have proclaimed it a National Treasure and will know how to deal with infractions.


Dancers are permitted to wear protective clothing. In fact, dancers are obliged to wear protective clothing. This is an Occupational Health and Safety requirement.


No points will be awarded for costuming. It is recognised that some forms of dance require specific attire, but where this is not the case, a simple leotard is acceptable. Leather is worn at the dancer's own risk.

I await your opinions, gentlebeings. These are, of course, general recommendations, and variations may readily be made for your particular conflict.

-- Andrea Packer-Fairfax, Ace Diplomat.

The KBC (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Kelssek_Broadcasting_Corporation) would like permission to broadcast this dance-off internationally if at all possible. We would also like to suggest a prominent local personality, DJ Dheejay, to provide the music with his unique and acclaimed style which consists of traditional Indian instruments, remixes of popular jazz, and placing cats on turntables.

Good form, good form, wot! PINA would also like to broadcast this most excellent dance-off.

Although we note that hakas have been prohibited, we would like to contribute a performance of the ulek (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ulek) to any ceremonies accompanying this bilateral competition.

Oh, how cute!

We request a minor caveat to this call to arms. We are a people that love the arts; indeed, our fertile - nay, fecund! oh, how I do like words! - cultural environment is a source of enormous pride for us. With this in mind, I wonder if you would do us the honour of engaging us not with guns, swords, or even ploughshares, but with...

Interpretive dance!

What say ye, gentle ambassador?

Cry havoc, and so forth!

Benedictions,

Ah, tis a noble request you have my friend, and we of the Palentine heartedly concur. As a neutral party, we should like to volenteer the services of our Ambassador to Darsomir, The Reverend Slick, to act as the judge. He is emminently qualified in dancing. As the following example shall prove. Slick's dancing credentials (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-rMxydtXis)
Excelsior,
Lord Julius
Prime minister
the Evil Conservative Empire of the Palentine

http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f235/HoratioSulla/slick.jpg
Reverend Slick
Ambassador

"The judging panel should have at least one woman on it. Would some one contact Earthintara, Dashanzi, and Lloegeyr about my participation on the panel." HM Queen Mercedez Merideath Hexx (C:\Documents and Settings\Shal\My Documents\My Webs\TanRoy.htm) said thougthfully. "I think a dueling dance off is much more sensible than wasting lives in a stupid war. I really must commend the Dashanzi for comming up with the idea."

Her eyes take on a devilsih twinkle "Now what I wouldn't give to see a company or two of Imitoran marines in tuttus..."

Her secretaries look up and all burst out laughing!

I LIKE GUNS!!!!!!!!:sniper::mp5::mp5::sniper: BIG GUNS!!!

OOC: Thats nice, Armed Mobs, but unless you have something of interest and substance to post shouldn't you be posting elsewhere?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

General Ian Hardcastle, Current head of the nations Operating Council would like to offer the services of The Militarized Zones National Military Band to provide live music for the competetion.

"We'll cover our own expenses and they also do a rousing halftime show to boot" He commented between briefings...

Dear me, dear me! Isn't it wonderful, all this international interest! Well, of course, media whore that I am (*giggles*), I think it'd be fantastic to have KBC and PINA covering events. Though, of course, ultimately it will have to be up to the combatants; I mean, the Earthintarans do seem a bit shy ...

Anyway, what I was thinking was, just once dance-off might not offer the variety you media folk would like. Back-up acts, you know? Support events?

And then along come these wonderful folk from Armed Mobs with their excellent suggestion! Everybody loves big guns! They make fantastic television! Just think of our famous Odinsburgh Tattoo! So what I'm thinking is, if the Armed Mobs authorities could provide us with some really spectacular formation marching, rifle drill, maybe some braw lads and bonnie lassies in colourful national dress doing gymnastics on the more massive armaments, you know the sort of thing -- that'd be wonderful entertainment for the crowds!

And, look, another idea, maybe we could get a couple of minor conflicts settled at the same time? You know, sort of little border unrest-type thingies, or a teensy civil war, or a good healthy police-demonstrators clash? Possibly we could extend the categories, too -- Battle of the Bards has a nice ring, don't you think? Maybe a couple of the magic nations might like to have a son et lumiere display as mage challenges mage, I often think we ignore the magic nations at our peril, that's just my opinion, of course ...

But, dear me, I'm really running away with myself here. So let's recap: we've got the basis of a good judging panel already, I think -- myself, Reverend Slick and Queen Mercedes. Maybe two more judges? And we should sort out our stereotypes. I'm happy to be the Desperately Trying To Keep The Peace At All Costs Panellist, and Queen Mercedes is an obvious choice for the Really Understanding Panellist Who Gives Helpful Advice, and Rev Slick plainly is the Veteran of the Industry Who Is Unforgiving About Technical Faults, but we still need a Really Opinionated ... er, if you'll forgive the term ... Dickhead Who Insults Everybody, and maybe a female counterpart, though an Insane Woman Who Laughs At Everything would be good, too ...

Now all we need is a response from the other major entrant, and we're away!

Oooh, isn't this exciting?

As the duly appointed representative of The Armed Republic of Tridecennial I hereby offer the catering staff of the President of Tridecennial to aid in any banquets, formal dinners etc. That this Interpretive dancing event shall have, Also on Behalf of The minister of Education of Tridecennial I am to say the following statement to the Empire of Earthintara "Declaration is not Spelled Decloration please next time use Spell Check or a Dictionary"

Note: The Armed Republic of Tridecennial is not responsible for any food poisoning that may or may not occur at the Interpretive Dancing event also The Minister of Education is trying to be helpfully please do not take offense at any Spelling or Grammar correction he makes as he does it all the time.