NationStates Jolt Archive

http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/SFA-Logo.gif
The Second Di Bradini Cup
An Under-21 International Tournament

The second international Under-21 football tournament held by the SFA, Starblaydia is proud to be the venue for the second installment of this new competition. Twenty teams have come to Starblaydia, and one will emerge as the champions, to lift the second Di Bradini Cup! Will Elves Security Forces defend their title, or will a different nation claim the prize?

This tournament marks ninety years since Starblaydia first competed in Under-21 World Cup 3, and in the first match of that tournament Simeone Di Bradini scored Starblaydia's first ever goal, against Europa Brittania's U21s. The great man himself, now 109 years old but with the spritely vigour of an eighty year-old, will be on hand to present the trophy.

Starblaydia, as hosts, will automatically be placed in Group A, with the remaining draw coming out of seeded pots at random. After four matches of Group Play, The top two in each Group will progress to the Quarter-Finals. Let the games commence!

Group Draw (Rosters will be linked when posted)
Group A
The Pazhujeb Islands (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13128572&postcount=6) (-)
Starblaydia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13128404&postcount=3) (2)
Novapsolu (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13128371&postcount=2) (-)
Minilla Island (9)
Lovisa (19)

Group B
Candelaria And Marquez (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13133232&postcount=12) (-)
Geisenfried (11)
Sorthern Northland (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13133784&postcount=15) (-)
Elves Security Forces (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13133010&postcount=11) (1)
Kiryu-shi (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13133780&postcount=14) (-)

Group C
Krytenia (-)
St Samuel (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13131977&postcount=9) (5)
The Islands of Qutar (16)
Az-cz (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13136289&postcount=23) (4)
Popay (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13128555&postcount=5) (-)

Group D
Jeruselem (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13132066&postcount=10) (6)
Oliverry (-)
Milchama (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13131725&postcount=8) (15)
Alversia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13128453&postcount=4) (-)
Kura-Pelland (3)

Schedule
MD1: 4v1, 5v3, 2 Bye (14/10/07 evening GMT)
MD2: 1v5, 2v3, 4 Bye
MD3: 2v5, 3v4, 1 Bye
MD4: 1v2, 4v5, 3 Bye
MD5: 3v1, 4v2, 5 Bye

(e.g. on MD1, Group A will be: Minilla Island Vs The Pazhujeb Islands, Lovisa Vs Novapsolu while Starblaydia have a Bye)

QF1: 1st A will play 2nd B
QF2: 1st B will play 2nd A
QF3: 1st C will play 2nd D
QF4: 1st D will play 2nd C

SF1: Winners of QF1 + QF2
SF2: Winners of QF3 + QF4

Stadia
Iota "Big Eye" Arena, Penningworth - Penningworth United (82,000) - QF2, 3PPO
Foundation Road, Jhanna - Iskara Daii (75,000) - 1st listed Group A matches, SF1
Jhanna City Recreational Ground, Jhanna, - Jhanna City (51,000) - 2nd listed Group A matches
Bekkside Arena, Tabeck - Tabeck FC (33,000) - 1st listed Group B matches , QF3
Hallad City Stadium, Hallad City - Hallad Reavers (49,000) - 2nd listed Group B matches, QF1
Jader Barbahlo Stadium, Jhanna - Jhanna United (96,000) - 1st listed Group C matches, Final
Sports Hall, Karak D'Ragh - Karak Ungor Chiefs (60,000) - 2nd listed Group C matches
Silverlands, Corinth - Corinthian Spirits (65,000) - 1st Listed Group D matches, SF2
Victory Park, Vecchio - Vecchio Victors (48,000) - 2nd listed Group D matches, QF4

The Chairman looked at the roster for the youth squad's first attempt at international play, happy with the decision. After all, it was only fitting to attend the Di Bradini Cup with the first test subject, considering the project undertaken by his assistants, Watson and Josef.

He looked at the roster, soon to be sent to the Starblaydi authorities:

Novapsolu Youth Squad Roster
Normal Formation: 3-4-3

Keepers:
00 Abe Dillon
99 Konnor Karmak

Defenders:
3 Danyel James
5 Aron Smith
4 Paul Simmons
6 Mark Walinsky
17 Fillip Halloran

Midfielders:
14 Nathan Briggs
15 Don Tasdole
12 Gary Stishul
18 Tom Wolsnik
23 Milton Mott
13 John Hale

Forwards:
10 Brad Simondi
9 Nikol Will
11 Lane Hampton
8 Kevyn Davis
7 Khristofer Bane

OOC: do whatever you want, short of killing my players please, though if you could, please include #10 in the lineup, for RP purposes. Thanks

I Give My Opponent Permission
(and actively encourage them) To:
====================
Choose My Scorers
GodMod Any Goalscoring Events
Yellow Card Players
GodMod Other Events for Humorous Intent
====================

Notes:
1) The best starting eleven are, thankfully, numbered 1-11 and are in bold

2) Asterisk* on roster denotes Female player

3) I actively encourage, nay nearly demand, that if you RP first you pick my scorers (if any).

http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/SFA-Logo.gif
Starblaydia U21 Squad Announced
Iakovakis' third team picked

The Staff
AI. Apollina Iakovakis (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Apollina_Iakovakis)*, Manager, 39 - Indigenous World Cup Winner
22 Caps, 4 Goals (Uncapped at Under-21 Level)

The Goalkeepers
1. Kostas Nikolaidis, GK, 21 - Hecia
6 Caps, 0 Goals at Under-21 Level
12. Sandra van Agmark*, GK, 18 - Internashionale
1 Cap, 0 Goals at Under-21 Level
19. Eduardo De Rooij, GK, 16 - Tournetas
Uncapped at Under-21 Level

The Defenders
2. Jae Chang-hwa*, RB, 17 - Internashionale
6 Caps, 2 Goals at Under-21 Level
An excellent attacking full-back with 'a great rack' according to one international manager, Jae can get amongst the goals in any match. Missed a penalty against Jeruselem, though, in the Justantina Cup.
3. Leandro P erheira, L/CB, 18 - Internashionale
4 Caps, 0 Goals at Under-21 Level
5. Marco Lima, CB/SW, 20 - Jhanna United
8 Caps, 0 Goals at Under-21 Level
6. Sebastian Brunner, CB, 21 - Hallad Reavers
13 Caps, 0 Goals at Under-21 Level
13. Edmundo Rivolli, LB, 21 - Hersch Albion
9 Caps, 0 Goals at Under-21 Level
14. Arkady Kaneda, CB, 15 - Vecchio Victors
2 Caps, 0 Goals at Under-21 Level
20. Vega Matranga, C/RB 15 - Jhanna City
1 Cap, 0 Goals at Under-21 Level

The Midfielders
4. Kwame Jabir, Captain, DM, 21 - Penningworth United
13 Caps, 2 Goals at Under-21 Level
Kwame has been retained as Captain for a second tournament, as Manager Iakovakis has decided that Jabir's performances in the Justantina Cup have earned him the right to keep the armband
7. Kalia Canildo*, LW/LB, 21 - Corinthian Spirits
13 Caps, 3 Goals at Under-21 Level (1 Cap, 0 Goals at Senior level)
8. Alfonso Di Angelo (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Alfonso_Di_Angelo), A/DM, 19 - Iskara Daii
7 Cap, 5 Goals at Under-21 Level
11. Jaime Gomes R/CM, 20 - Corinthian Spirits
9 Caps, 1 Goal at Under-21 Level
15. Juan Oscar, L/DM, 21 - Internashionale
7 Caps, 0 Goals at Under-21 Level
16. Karinha*, C/AM, 17 - FC Farça
2 Caps, 0 Goals at Under-21 Level
21. Jack Stafador, C/DM, 16 - Hallad Reavers
2 Caps, 0 Goals at Under-21 Level
22. Denny Djibroné, L/CM, 15 - Penningworth United
1 Cap, 0 Goals at Under-21 Level


The Forwards
9. Stefan Hinkonnen (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Stefan_Hinkonnen), CF, 21 - Widdrington Wolves
13 Caps, 8 Goals at Under-21 Level (5 Caps, 2 Goals at Senior level)
Stefan is not only one of the 'veterans' of the Di Bradini Cup, but also has full international caps to his name thanks to the 20th AOCAF. He's already joint-seventh on the all-time list of Starblaydi Under-21 goalscorers, and he is a large and powerful Starblaydi forward.
10. Lii Chong-Sun, SC, 21 - Internashionale
10 Caps, 3 Goals at Under-21 Level (1 Cap, 0 Goals at Senior level)
17. Nuno Quaresma, SC, 17 - Beverington Hawks
2 Caps, 1 Goal at Under-21 Level
18. Raphael Torino, SC, 18 - Jhanna United
3 Caps, 1 Goal at Under-21 Level
23. Lubii*, SC, 15 - Iskara Daii
1 Cap, 0 Goals at Under-21 Level


The Formation
http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/StarDBC2.jpg


Home And Away Kits:
Kits created by:
http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/ediraflogo.jpg
http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/NewHome.gifhttp://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/NewAway.gif

Alversian Under-21 Roster

GK - Cillian ReidIllesia City Bison
Caps: 32 Goals Conceded: 23 (Aged: 20)
Cillian Reid is one of the most talented goalkeepers in Alversia and is already starting keeper for the Illesia City Bison. He is well known for his fantastic reflex saves and over enthusiastic kickouts. He is also no.2 goalkeeper for the senior squad
SW - Michael Reynolds Illesia City Bison
Caps: 31 Goals Scored: 1 (Aged:17)
Michael Reynolds has been described by many to be the next big thing in Alversia. He is well known for his quick acceleration and brilliantly timed challenges. He is the defender's defender and rarely ventures beyond his own halfway line.
CB - Ciaran Reid Leoma Panthers
Caps: 29 Goals Scored: 0 (Aged: 20)
The most flexible player of the defenders, Ciaran, like his twin brother in nets, is tipped to be a hit in future years. He is talented in both attack and defence but specialises in neither. He is the all-rounder of the team.
CB - Cathal O'Neil Anziona Leopards
Caps: 38 Goals Scored: 4 (Aged: 18)
Cathal O'Neill is famous in Alversia for his brute strength and amazing shot power. He is an aggressive tackler and often gets into trouble for his gung ho attitude to defense. He is always coming forward for corners and hangs around at the edge of the area, waiting for the loose ball
LW - Niall Toal Danaversian Cobras
Caps: 35 Goals Scored: 6 (Aged: 17)
Niall Toal is also known by Cobra's fans as the 'Crossing King' His chips and cross field balls are unrivalled in both the senior and junior levels of the Alversian Super League. He is a regular starter for the senior Alversian Team and for Danaversia.
RW - Sean Parks South Passage Wildcats
Caps: 33 Goals Scored: 8 (Aged: 16)
Sean 'Babyface' Parks is a unique player in the Alversian team. Possesing incredible first touch control and the ability to hoodwink defenders by the dozen, he is an essential part of the Alversian team.
CM - Connor Burns Franklin Island Harriers
Caps: 30 Goals Scored: 9 (Aged: 18)
Connor Burns shares many characteristics with his partner on the the right side o the pitch but unlike Parks, Burnsey possesses speed and agility as well as excellent first touch control. His wicked curling shots are the stuff of nightmares for most keepers
CM - Colin McCelland APNAAF Tigersharks
Caps: 26 Goals Scored: 3 (Aged: 21)
Colin 'Boulie' McCelland is the bulk of the midfield. What he lacks in speed and agility, he more than makes up for in strength and power. Boulie uis a senior member of the Under-21 squad and is also one of the best they have. His sheer mass, locks down the centre of midfield allowing his partners to run wild against the opposition
AM - David Comisky APNAF Tigersharks
Caps: 29 Goals Scored: 3 (Aged: 19)
David Comiskey is always the hardest working player on the field, regardless of the score or possession. Comisky is always working to ensure Alversia has the best chance of a counter-attack or cutting out an opposing attack.
AM - Joey Jordan Hanover Stallions
Caps: 31 Goals Scored: 5 (Aged:19)
Joey Jordan is of a completely different mindset to Comisky. Unlike the Tigersharks' man who will frequently play as a fifth midfielder if the Alversian centre is struggling, Joey is always up front and ready to latch onto anything his teammates can give him.
S - Kevin Corrigan Leoma Panthers
Caps: 42 Goals Scored: 21
Kevin Corrigan is one of the most prolific goalscorers for both club and country. He is a unique combination if strength and speed that usually results in a clinical finish for his team. Kevin has now played several games for the Alversian Seniors and is almost a regular on the team. He won young player of the year award during the last season when his 28 goals helped the Pathers to the Superleague title
----
Subs.
GK: Ethan McGeown
Def: Justin O'Hagan
Def: Eoin Patterson
Def: James McNally
Mid: James Donnelly
Mid: Christopher Hagan
Mid: David McCurry
For: James Donnelly
For: Eamon McGeown
---------------
Standard Line-up

{Cillian Reid (C)}

{Michael Reynolds}

{Ciaran Reid} {Cathal O'Neil}

{Niall Toal} { Connor Burns} {Colin McCelland} {Sean Parks}

{Joey Jordan} {David Comisky}

{Kevin Corrigan}

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers N
Godmod Scoring Events N
RP injuries to my players Y
Godmod injuries to my players N
Hand out Yellow cards to my players Y
Hand out Red cards to my players Y
Godmod Other Events Y

Popay U-21
If people RP first then they may:
Allow my players to be yellow carded
Hint if a player has an injury (they cannot atchualy injure them)
Choose my goalscorers

Basic Info
Kit One-Purple Top
Red Shorts
Red Socks
Kit Two-All White Kit
Formation-{4-5-1}
Top Goal Scorer-Arthur Maranesi (4 Goals)
Most Appearences-Peter Davis Jones (12 Apps)
Most Bookings-Arthur Maranesi (5 Yellows)
Most Sendings Offs-Arthur Maranesi (1 Red)

(It must be pointed out that Popay-U21 have never been in a competive match before, but have been in sevral friendlies, this means that the satistics only apply to the freindlies and not in international compotition)

Manager
Freddy Fellow, 29-A good motivator, but may lack some of the skills required to get Popay far in this torniment. However, his motivatioal skills can cause Popay to come back from dire situations and turn it around. Never count Popay out.
Goalkeepers
1-Graham Black, 19-Popay Albion
13-Joe Clarke, 17-Seafare City
Defenders
2-Célodean, 17-Banco Popay (Full name is: Phillipe Célo de Monterro)
4-Peter Davis-Jones, 20-Popay Albion
3-Fredrick Molhman, 19-Popay Albion
6-Ralph Brown, 20-Portton United
5-Jonny Pye, 17-Popay City
16-James Newman, 19-Banco Popay
Midfeilders
7-Coco, 16-Banco Popay (Full name is: Covani Perruchi del Monsa)
18- Jamie Potts, 19-Popay United
8-Arthur Maranesi, 20-Valeton
11-Callum Green, 19-Popayen Angles FC
16-Peter Jones, 17-Nessarati FC
9-Ian Blanc, 19-Popay City
15-Bobo, 16-Banco Popay (Full name is: Bovani Perruchi del Monsa)
Strikers
10-Terry O'Shea, 19-Valeton
19-Henry Parker, 18-Valeton
23-Christiano, 16-Banco Popay (Full name is: Christan del Fuccha)

This team are very inexperinced but can sometimes preform some moments of pure brillance and work very well as a team. The danger players for Popay are
Bobo, Coco, Christiano and Célodean.

Normal Starting XI

{Graham Black}
{Jonny Pye} {Ralph Brown} {Peter Davis} {Célodean}
{Bobo} {Peter Jones} {Arthur Maranesi} {Jamie Potts} {Coco}
{Christiano}

OOC:The people on the top of the list are prodominatly left footed, while the people on the bottom are more right footed. E.G Coco, is a left footed player, while his brother Bobo, is a right footed player

The Pazhujeb Islands U21 National Team

Because at the moment every member of the national team adult selection is 21 years of age or less, the adult squad will represent the U21 team during this tournament, and will be coached by the adult national team manager, Jaime Oberlander.

Jaime Oberlander
A two time World Cup winner as a player, Jaime Oberlander garners respect wherever he is. Even though at 71 he his reaching the end of his career, he still is the pride of many a Starblaydi. Having managed his home nation's NT during four moderately unsuccessful Cups, Mr. Oberlander has landed perhaps his last job: head coach of the very young and painfully inexperienced Pazhujeb Islands national football team.

Wearing purple will be nothing new for Mr. Oberlander (obviously), but he will have to raise a club that is at the moment entirely obscure into a position of international recognition. With youngsters like Qabe Oujadda, Chaya Vuhumkara, and Xusannikara Ghur, the Purple Sea Urchins have potential, but it will take time and patience to realise.

Luckily, most believe that Jaime Oberlander has both. His skills will truly be put to the test on matchday four, where the Pazhujebis have drawn the Starblaydis. Mr. Oberlander's career with the Purple Sea Urchins begins not on far off and primitive isles in the middle of the Atlantic, but right at home in Starblaydia, where he will play his home nation.

Squad
Barring injury, this will also likely be the squad to represent the Pazhujeb Islands during the Baptism of Fire, which will be the side's first internationally recognized matches.


Vekaj Amutarrad - GK - 20
Redhe Lissama - DF - 20
Chaya Vuhumkara - FW - 15
Vuharana Quridheru - MF - 18
Huvem Tushambanda - DF - 15
Pav Panithaj - FW - 16
Qabe Oujadda - MF - 16
Semhar Idarha - DF - 21
Mahmudanam Rha - DF - 19
Shipuchan Parokshara - MF - 18
Xusannikara Ghur - MF - 20
Jirassam Lethija - DF - 19
Ioya Oovi - MF - 15
Herodotusam Guvidhipa - FW - 19
Khaled Vhumadara - DF - 20
Qamad Lirram - MF - 19
Rhayasat Mhenipda - DF - 15
Livam Uvar - MF - 16
Muwadasiwar Yet Pighanijia - DF - 15
Pazhuj Yivashaktim - GK - 21
Uimar Chussadir - FW - 18
Awabad Jhavaraja - DF - 21
Fidesta Qiva - MF - 16


Though Qabe Oujadda was named captain earlier in the year, Mr. Oberlander has changed this appointment. Center half Redhe Lissama (#2) will wear the armband, and Oujadda will play slightly out of position, as a right midfielder, rather than his preferred wingback spot.

Probable starters wearing 1-11. The team will play in a 4-4-2 diamond.

{Amutarrad}
{Tushambanda} {Idarha} {Lissama} {Rha}
{Parokshara}
{Oujadda} {Quridheru}
{Ghur}
{Panithaj} {Vuhumkara}

The home kit is a purple shirt with black trim, with black shorts and purple socks. The away kit is a shirt with white and forest green halves, and with forest green shorts and socks.

http://www.freewebs.com/abduldukhirahiq/pazhujebi%20kit%203.jpg

More information here: Pazhujeb Islands NT Wiki (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Pazhujeb_Islands_national_football_team)

Its a Purple Haze
Iakovakis faces former boss

Starblaydia Under-21 Manager Apollina Iakovakis is not phased by the fact she will be coming head to head with her former manager, who picked her for two consecutive World Cup squads around fifteen years ago: Jaime Oberlander.

"Meeting him is like coming back to an old friend - I have a deep respect for the Chief, something I'm sure everyone in the game shares. He's won two World Cups as a player, for crying out loud - I'd like to know the number of managers in this tournament who can come anywhere close to matching that."

Iakovakis was part of the Starblaydi squad for World Cups 33 and 34, their last appearance on the world stage, both under Oberlander's managership. Now, however, Oberlander manages the débutante Pazhujeb Islands, another team in purple, and the teams will meet on Matchday Four. Before that, however, Starblaydia have two matches to negotiate against Novapsolu and Lovisa. Buoyed by their hosting of the World Cup so recently, the Novapsolu side will be young and confident but who knows what their talent levels will actually be. Lovisa, seemingly ever-present and ever-silent, should be an easier task for Iakovakis' side.

After those two matches comes what could be the crunch match of Iakovakis versus Oberlander, followed by Starblaydia in a re-match of the group stage from four years ago in the inaugural Di Bradini Cup: Minilla Island. It was a Four-One win for the white-and-purples with the fourth coming from young substitute Lii Chong-sun, who now wears the Number-Ten shirt as a fully-fledged twenty-one year-old. Paired with big man Hinkonnen, their link-up play will be crucial to Starblaydia's fortunes. Hinkonnen is, obviously, the big target man, and Chong-sun will be looking to play off his flicks and lay-offs.

Hinkonnen, along with Jabir and Canildo, will be looking to play in at least five matches, as they are all on thirteen appearances each - eighteen caps will set them equal-eighth on the all-time list of Under-21 appearances - these players are certainly privileged to have been playing in a time when three Under-21 tournaments came around in the space of four years.

Everybody, however, is looking towards next year's Baptism of Fire, and the Thirty-Eighth World Cup that will follow it a year later. Every place in the twenty-three man squad will still be up for debate and, for many of these older Under-21s, those places are there for the taking. Betanii Marrones will be watching Starblaydia's matches in the build-up to naming her Baptism of Fire squad (should Starblaydia get in, of course), as will the rest of the seven billion sports fans in the country.

Spartan Post-Tribune-Gazette-Forum-Update-Daily-News-Today

Sports Section

Lucky ages plus general laziness leads to exact same lineup

Mayok Olimar decided that since for the first time a Milchamian U21 side didn't advance from the group stages that the media needs to be more active in order to guarantee advancement but also that the lads deserve another chance so here we are, both the media reporting this and the same lineup happening. Yeh Hunters!

GK: Harrison Carlt- The spaghetti legged keeper is known for his flying saves and great cross presence. Some are tipping him to start for WC 38 despite Halutz Dalton still being in the international team.
D: Marus Fuller- Tough imposing full back who would be a centerback except for his dazzling dribble skills and wonderful shooting ability. His temper has been a problem in the past and might be again.
D: Steven Rorshe- Large centerback. Not very fast but good a positioning, especially for a youngster. He's just large, very very large.
D: Marcus Toriento- Some though he should be a midfielder but his good tackling prowess brought him to the defense. Expect him to come up and link up with the midfield and provide a good extra attacker.
M: Kellen Holmes- Speedy winger who continues the tradition of fast Jews who are wingers. His speed and dribbling ability should help him out.
M: Erich Dunama- The eclecic Dunama is expected to lead the team. The captain of the squad his passing skills are also quite formidable.
M: Tavaris Miller- Another speedy wing who is known for his crossing ability. His goal in the U19 Milchama championships has made him the most famous player in the squad.
F: Odin Larsson- Viking! Viking! Viking! Also a fabulous crosser and can score a few here and there but Viking!
F: Kery Cork- Fast, deft touch, great center forward. The team's main threat will be looked upon to score goals.
F: Marcus Rice- Tall, fast, possibly gifted we're not sure. What we do know however is that this kid is good, like scary good.
F: Devin Martin- The perfect wing forward, fast and a good crosser.

Subs;
GK: Fletcher Donovan
D: Pat Valentine
M: Lewin Flomage
F: Carter Forns
Horse: Dover
__________________

St Samuel U-21 Squad

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers Y
Godmod Scoring Events Y
RP injuries to my players Y
Godmod injuries to my players N
Hand out Yellow cards to my players Y
Hand out Red cards to my players Y
Godmod Other Events Y

Style Modifier: +2

Home Kit: All Light Blue
Away Kit: All White

Manager: Luigi De Ribiera

Assistant Manager: Mohammed Ostantrinia

GK: Luca Biortello
RB: Nathim Oscararti
CB: Luther Della Rosa
CB: Seth Justantinium
LB: Omar Nazzariam
RM: Marco Di Helana
CM: Salvatore Rocka
CM: Costas De Mazouna
LM: Carlos Van Alta
ATT: Massimo Arquilla
ATT: Sebastien Atalanta

SGK: Louis Ripratchi
SRB: Georgi Di Santos
SCB: Bruno Della Porcria
SLB: Jose Ferradia
SRM: Frankie Della Porcia
SCM: Leo Pertroubi
SLM: Yasser Niobi
SATT: Oscar De Noutica
SATT: Mido Al Khady

Dazza Dallas was waiting for her team for The Second Di Bradini Cup. All the other Jeruselem coaches had been taken by clubs due to the demand and there wasn'much the Jeruselem FA could do. Things were quiet with her other jobs and her business was on auto-pilot with other people managing things now. Top Gear Jeruselem was in holiday mode. She was hoping for the female french team, they had a chance of winning this cup. At least she got paid for this kind of thing.

She waited for new team to appear. A straggly bunch of boys turned up, with an official. Dazza demanded "Hey, what's this? The YMCA football team!". The official said "No, it's the new Jeruselem U21 Male team. We haven't had one for a while, so we scraped up this lot from the clubs. Don't worry, they aren't playing actively so they won't be missed". She looked at the team who were quite pleased at their coach. She looked the team sheet ...

Coach/manager: Dazza Dallas aka "The Village Bike"
Formation: +2 (4-3-3)

GK: Steele Micar (16)
GK: Hous Vandal (17)

DEF: Booty Buster (17)
DEF: Ghetto Blaster (16)
DEF: Hoon Downaroad (18)
DEF: Streat Gangsta (20)
DEF: Wheas Mybitch (17)
DEF: Jewvinile Deliquent (17)

MID: Smakam Downe (18)
MID: Lika Gunns (19)
MID: Onda Smack (18)
MID: Gayte Crassher (17)
MID: Lettes Robaplace (19)

STR: Tyre Slasher (16)
STR: Nogoode Fornothin (15)
STR: Gime Thadope (18)
STR: Slackass man (19)
STR: Michael Jackbootson (18)


"This lot look like a bunch of young crims!" she wasn't happy. The official said "Well, some are petty crims. The rest are badly behaved male football players no one wants to play. The FA want you to fix them." he replied. Dazza looked at him "And we expect to win this cup? With this?". He said "Not really. They can play ... but they just need motivation. Like a pretty girl!". Dazza just rolled her eyes and shook her head "I just want my French girls!"

From the Offices of the ESC does the Marauder information come

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers N
Godmod Scoring Events Y
RP injuries to my players Y
Godmod injuries to my players N
Hand out Yellow cards to my players Y
Hand out Red cards to my players N
Godmod Other Events Y

Uniforms
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/ESF31.png

Home

Manager

Fabio Mannasuch
Age: 38,968
Has been the head man at the famous Raynor City Rockers for over 1,000 years and is the winningest manager in ESF history. Having won over 300 titles between the three teams he's managed in his career, there is little he is not prepared for. Fabio likes his teams to play a very attacking style and is known to throw the kitchen sink in the last ten minutes if the need arises. With commititments to the senior side already, Titenburg and Constant have let this great mind have a go with the countries youngsters and the risked paid off with a championship last tournament, and the defence is on the line this time.

Assistant Manager

Jamie Kiki
Age: 16,237
A very tactful choice for the assistant manager, as the Char Sara Inferno skipper looks to set aside the rivlary between Char Sara and Raynor City for the good of the country. Jamie likes his players to analyze every aspect of the game, even the most smallest principals that most managers assume players already know. A very much grind about approach from his players is expected, but with Mannasuch as the head man, it was instersting to see last tournament how harmony was found with the styles. One can only hope it will be replicated.

Goalie

40 Gors Silva, Turruth Gordur
Sex - M
Age -21
Height: 6'4"
Weight: 192 lbs
The first person outside of the ESF to don the new Valanora colors. Hailing from the barbaric Turrth Gordur, he was given this oppurtunity due to the reccomendation of one of the potential senior team members. While it is not known of how he performs under pressure, he has been quite suberb in the practices the squad has had, and seems to be getting along well dispite being the only person from his country on the squad.

Defenders

21 Javier Qui, Capri Academy
Age - 20
Sex - M
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 163 lbs
A very tough and mobile defender, Javier knows his limitations and how to work around him. This development gives him the edge over the other would be defenders, and also the confidence of Mannasuch to put him in the middle, exposing him to the pressure of both the position and his teammates.

25, Willa Floren, Rinaldi Academy
Age - 19
Sex - F
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 146 lbs
With Floren, you get a defender whose speed and marking are as well as anyone else on the squad, but a nack for coming up in the big plays. She seems to possess all the little intangables that seperate the good from the great.

37 Seol Chang, Valanari Academy
Age - 18
Sex - M
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 156 lbs
A wonderful lad who is jolly off the pitch but a beast on it. Once he hits the pitch, it all becomes a single objective for him, and any relationship you had with him outside of the game is gone. For him, there is only his team and the oppenent, and he uses all the weapons in his armory to disect and destroy his foes.

Midfield

17 Surall Harden, Wexax Academy
Age - 21
Sex - M
Height: 6'0"
Weight: 163 lbs
A quiet guy whom you wouldn't think possessed any significant amount of talent, but when on the pitch is a mater distrubitor. Like most youngsters, he lacks much in game vision, but his vigor, passing, and detirmination is to be admired.

19 Juania Glow, Gladerial Academy
Age - 18
Sex - M
Height: 6'4"
Weight: 170 lbs
A very interesting character who will quote chapters from the Books of Elune without provocation. For all his off the pitch inconcsistances, he play on it is quite the constant hard nosed play that the center midfielder needs. He is further proof of progress the country has made under the Valanora institution, as Juania's family are followers of Catholism, with Juania being the first in the family to convert to Elunism.

10 Slyvanas Galadian, Mar Sara Academy
Age - 19
Sex - F
Height: 5"10"
Weight: 152 lbs
One of the few women in the country who play a center midfielder role. Yet she is unlike many of the women in her build, and she can handle the physicaly nature of the position. Though more gifted to playing a defensive midfielder role, if she can work on her offensive skills, she could be a vital piece on the way to another title.

18 Iswald Magni, Square Haven
Age - 17
Sex - M
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 160 lbs
An elf whose family had emmigrated to Assegai before he was born, Iswald is now being called to represent his motherland. While his cousin last tounamnet was a defender, Magni is much more gifted in crossing and taking on defenders, and finds himself out on the wing. His endurance, or lack therof, might cost the squad when it matters most, but it is a risk the staff is willing to take.

14 Ingani Caru, Oliviena Academy
Age - 18
Sex - M
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 167 lbs
Another mild mannaered youngster who has made his way to the squad. His skills don't match that of Magni, but with his age, there is still plenty if time to develop, as there is with rest of the squad. The only worry is that with their age, the mental toughness is not there for a title defence, as all but two members of that squad are now gone.

Strikers

11 Ariela Night, Night Academy
Age - 20
Sex - F
Height: 5'8"
Weight: 147 lbs
The second and last child of Kyla Night and Zacharius. This girl has a world of expectactions laid before her, and met them head on in the last tournamnet. She netted several key goals and assists that powered this squad to the championship. You can expect more of the same, as this young elf begins to unlock her massive amount of potential.

9 Elan Legown, Everlin Academy
Age - 19
Sex - F
Height: 5'7"
Weight: 144 lbs
She is the example of what happens when pure skill meets out of this world speed. She has all the moves already and decent ability to make out the play before it occurs. What she is lacking is true expierence on the pitch, where even the best skilled player can be useless.

Subs
GK 53 Juliana Mist, age 19, Valanari Academy (F)
DF 32 Matias Kiaw, age 20, Hartdale Academy (M)
DF 30 Lance Wiat, age 17, Char Sara Academy (M)
MF 31 Michelle Truth, age 18, Valanari Academy (F)
MF 33 Quinton Sun, age 21, Night Academy (M)
MF 24 Eal Lovelace, age 19, Straightdale Academy (M)
MF 29 Amanda Collins, age 17, Night Academy (F)
AF 07 Alivas Park, age 19, Kareen Academy (M)
AF 06 Jeros Dragonhand, age 17, Wexax Academy (M)

Captain: Ariela Night
Set Piece Taker: Elan Legown
Penalty Taker: Ariela Night
Right Corner: Ariela Night
Left Corner: Surall Harden

Silva
Floren Qui Chang
Magni Glow Galadian Caru
Harden
Legown Night

Candelaria And Marquez Under-21 Squad
Nickname: Small Blues (Candelariasians are not noted for their originality)

+2 modifier thingy.

And a big fat Yes to everything.

Manager:

Sixty-four year-old Lloyd Donnelly chooses to retain only eleven players from his last squad, six months after reaching the Justantina Cup. Perhaps with an eye to the next Di Brandini Cup; this squad has a rather younger look about it and includes a greater number of teenagers. Donnelly himself however will be hoping to impress in this Cup, knowing that a poor Cup of Harmony for the senior side could result in his elevation to the top job.

Donnelly is not afraid to fiddle with his formation and team selection, but is likely to start with a 2-3-2-1-2; with Mapleson in goal; a central defence of Young and Douaydari with Mengucci ahead of them, Burgos on the right and Yalçin on the left; a central midfield pairing of Corradini and Edwards; with Okeke sitting behind Vélez and Cunningham.

Goalkeepers:

1. Prince Mapleson, Aged 21, CandelariaAM, STARTER
One of the Small Blues’ three all-new goalkeepers; Mapleson has finally forced his way into his league team’s starting line-up. An athlete, whose positional sense can let him down.

22. Felix Currey, 20, Castillo FC
The other likely contender for the No.1’s jersey; Currey has been talked about in hushed tones for some time, without anyone establishing exactly why.

23. Murphy Matthews, 21, Albrecht FC
Second-choice all season for the reigning CMSC champions, but semi-legendary C&M and Albrecht FC goalkeeper Rueben Uwakwe appears to have anointed him his successor.

Central Defenders:

5. Ben Young, 20, Green Island, STARTING CENTRE-BACK, CAPTAIN
No relation to C&M’s Sam Young; but likewise an excellent young talent and inspirational leader. Can score bizarre own goals, however.

14. Mars Douaydari, 20, MarquezOW, STARTING CENTRE-BACK
At a club that has become so devoted to relentless attacking play; the huge Candelarias Syrian has formed one-half of a formidable centre-back pairing and after injury has come straight into the Small Blues starting XI.

6. Chris Ytterland, 20, Melin & Nader
Failed to impress in the early Justantina Cup games and booted from the starting line-up, but Donnelly still appears to have faith in the delicate but technical player.

3. Steven Williams, 19, A.Turks
Has had his chances this season in his otherwise elderly team and looks set for a regular starting berth next year. Another big strong boy, and has a good line in headed corners.

Wing-Backs:

2. William Burgos, 21, Arrigo Portuguese, STARTING RIGHT WING-BACK
Equally comfortable advancing forward or defending; his lack of Division One experience may cost him and God he can leave his foot in, but he was one of C&M’s strongest players at the Justantina Cup.

13. Özkan Yalçin, 20, C.A.L, STARTING LEFT WING-BACK
Another of the better performers of the previous tournament; Yalçin can player anywhere from left-back to striker, but though pacey and comfortable on the ball he is horribly one-footed.

12. Hugo Krstev, 19, Radyukevich
“Crusher” is if anything even harder than Burgos, but has already earned a reputation for causing grotesque injuries in the league. He could however be a very solid right-back if he can curb the less pleasant parts of his game.

18. José Luis Sosa, 19, MarquezOW
Failed to make an appearance at the last cup, but his defensive talents are obvious.

Defensive Midfielders:

15. Connor Mengucci, 19, CandelariaAM, STARTING HOLDING MIDFIELDER
C&M seem desperate for holding midfielders, amid rumours that senior coach Mark Baker has sent a number of scouts to trawl the world looking for anyone with a Candelarias-born granny. Never the less; Mengucci has impressed in his last few games after winning a starting position for his struggling club.

4. Matteo Corradini, 21, Albrecht FC, STARTING CENTRAL MIDFIELDER
A holding player pure and simple for his club, Corradini showed real ability and getting forward and will be expected to provide much of C&M’s midfield spark.

16. Carroll Eriksson, 19, Castillo FC
His best position remains uncertain, with Eriksson having played on the right of midfield and at the base of a diamond. Either way; he’ll run about like a thing possessed.

20. Davey Fauske, 21, AFC MN Smith
The subject of bids from all major CMSC clubs; Fauske has thus far remained loyal to his Division Two team. He will be expected to provide both destructive and creative options in equal measure, as well as powering in some of his trademarked long shots. However his Justantina Cup performances fell a little flat.


Offensive Midfielders:

7. Ben Edwards, 20, Albrecht FC, STARTING CENTRAL MIDFIELDER
A big, rosy-cheeked young fella; but one with a delicate cross and a great free-kick, he can play wide on the right or closer to the centre. First choice for the reigning CMSC champions this year, and surely a shoe-in for the next full national team squad. Son of Albrecht Herald sports writer Tracker Edwards.

8. Reiban Okeke, 20, MarquezOW, STARTING ATTACKING MIDFIELDER
Playing in a club side boasting C&M stars Cassa and Ignacio Vélez and Recluse Island international Niclas Kjaer; Okeke has been forced to temper his natural attacking instincts this season. An aggressive player but possessing a silky touch, he must provide the link between the midfield and the strikers.

11. Beck Ragab, 20, Albrecht FC
The other half of the Scorpions’ young wing pair; left-footer Ragab can put in great crosses from the by-line, but is clearly not a favourite of Donnelly’s.

21. Reuben Kennedy, 20, A.Turks
With the wealth of lefty midfielder available to Donnelly; Kennedy’s pick is a surprise. Pundits argue that he has the all-around game to be a superb player, but he has yet to show it for Albrecht Turkish.

Strikers:

19. Rául Vélez, 21, Radyukevich, STARTING FORWARD
The unheralded younger brother of Big Blues star Ignacio Vélez; Rául is bigger and stronger than his sibling but lacks the killer instinct.

9. Joe Cunningham, 19, Albrecht FC, STARTING STRIKER
Quite possibly the Small Blues’ key man; Cunningham came out of nowhere this year to save Albrecht FC’s season and emerge and one of the league’s deadliest strikers. Emulating the Justantina Cup performance of the now over-age striker Luke Naylor will be a challenge however.

17. Robbie Shannon, 18, C.A.L
Found a place in the C.A.L side during Naylor’s absence and looks a clinical finisher; though many wonder if he really offers anything very different from Cunningham.

10. Jamie Rawlinson, 21, Cathedral City
A link-up man between midfield and the forward; Rawlinson is tall, amusing ugly, and unsteady on his feet.

The Albrecht Herald/Sport/Football/Di Brandini Cup
Donnelly bemoans ‘bitch of a group’

C&M Under-21 coach Lloyd Donnelly has reacted to his side’s group draw for the second Di Brandini Cup with a mixture of horror and disgust. He was speaking to TV1’s Keenan Bailey following news of the draw in Starblaydia.

“From the point of view of actually getting through the group; it’s going to be a right bitch. We’ve got the reigning champions in there, which is bad enough; a very experienced nation like Geisenfried; an exciting new World Cup outfit in Kiryu-shi… And worst of all, really, there’s Sorthern Northland again. This’d be the fifth game between a C&M and SN representative side in any sport; and quite frankly I’d imagine we’re both equally as sick to the back to the back teeth of each other. More to the point; they also operate the same two year cycles as us, and they’ve got lads in there who played in the Baptism of Fire. It’s a very, very experienced outfit.

“On the plus side,” Donnelly added, “We’re all in the same boat, and no ones going to look forward to playing us after the Justantina Cup. We have to be aware though that this competition is a real step up in quality across the board. Every team in this five will reckon they’ve got a shot of making the knock-out stages.”

He stressed however that in no way was this event viewed as a chore. “I’ve gone on record that I’m surprised the CMASA took the plunge to enter, but now that we’re going it’s something to look forward to. For a lot of these lads, it’s their first opportunity to play international football against some huge sporting names. They’ve got to enjoy their time in Starblaydia, that’s very important, but we’ve proven we’re no underdogs at this level and we’ve here to win just as much as anyone else.”

***

Elsewhere…

“We could say it’s a group of four and just ignore the first game?”

“Nah, that wouldn’t fly. The points totals’d be all wrong.”

“Alright, so we make our own group tables. And if we don’t qualify, but wrongly like, or qualify in the right position like, we’ll say there were points deducted, for some reason.”

“And what happens when the ESF go and win the bloody thing again?”

“They had a bye through to the knock-out stages?”

“Naah. Look, we could just ask them politely to cover up their ears?”

“Mm… Not sure they’d go for that. Yer basic elf, y’see, is what’s known as ‘haughty’.”

“Naaaah. You’re thinkin’ of ‘capricious’.”

“Mmm? Nah, definitely haughty. Ooh, and ‘elusive’.”

“Hauntingly beautiful.”

“Yeah, and hau… Eh, yer getting me distracted. Can’t we just say they’re just a bunch’a tall, lobally challenged guys ‘n’ girls? It works for that Zetaback chap at Green Island.”

“A whole nation of ‘em, though? Well, most of a nation. Some of it. ‘Still got a bit’a trouble getting’ m’head around it all.”

“I reckon we’re fretting about nothing, mate. They bought the whole ‘endemic non-neurological congenital hypothyroidism’ thingy a couple’a years back when we played Ah-zjusj-zsush-shush-shush… People’ve seen ‘em on the telly before, anyway. We’ll just say they’re obnoxiously tall. Like Masai. Only w’ less jumping up and down. I reckon, as long as they’ve not got tentacles–”

“Or are mice.”

“Or are mice, yeah, then I reckon we’re in the clear.”

“Ah well. That’s all right then. You’ve put me mind at ease. So… You gonna ring Mr. Martino and Mr. Hernández and let ‘em know we’ve got the elves in our group?”

“Fuck that. They’re gunna go spare! You can do it.”

“Oh, goody.”

The Kiryu-shi Football Academy Mission Statement:

Our goal for this organization is to provide football players a chance to develop as players and people by providing them with access to top-notch facilities and coaching as well as enrollment at Sakaino University. We demand both academic and athletic brilliance from our pupils. We provide all our services for free, as is common in Kiyru-shi, while also providing the enrolled students with everything available to all other university students. However, we hold up very strict, high standards, both on the field and in the classroom. It is our goal to produce top notch athletes and all around citizens.

...

The Kiryu-shi Football Academy Team 1-A.

GK
Jonathon Geofrey-#1-20 years old
Tony Ball-#21-18 years old
Charlotte Bell-#22-19 years old
DF
Matty Truth-Hoffman-#19-20 years old
Brian Green-#5-21 years old
Therice Carls-#2-21 years old
Wynn Jennings-#15-17 years old
Mark Williams-#16-19 years old
MF
Miguel Fantuzzi-#4-21 years old
Koh Miyamaki-#8-20 years old
Samantha Woodward-#7-20 years old
Mikaiel Mishou-#13-18 years old
Jason Mitchells-#3-21 years old
Starling Clint-#17-19 years old
Anne Jolly-#20-18 years old
Kha'Lia Cooley-#10-16 years old
Sinorice Harris-#6-20 years old
Ben Mire-#13-17 years old
FW
Lendale Moore-#11-21 years old
Kazuko Machihara-#23-21 years old
Donald Sean-#12-19 years old
May Smith-#9-18 years old

...

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers Y
Godmod Scoring Events Y
RP injuries to my players Y
Godmod injuries to my players N
Hand out Yellow cards to my players Y
Hand out Red cards to my players Y
Godmod Other Events Y

Style Modifier: 0

[QUOTE=Sorthern Northland;13099943]http://img206.imageshack.us/img206/5357/snfald4.png
Sorthern Northland squad for The International Justantina U-21 Cup

Squad

1 Jonny Sage - 21 y/o Goalkeeper (is noted for his free-kick ability, will be the teams main free-kick and penalty taker)
13 Joseph Doblazky - 21 y/o Goalkeeper
21 Henry Judge - 21 y/o Goalkeerer
2 Karl Volvic - 21 y/o Right Back
12 Ri Cho-Mi - 21 y/o Right Back
3 Min Cho-Hi - 21 y/o Left Back
14 Geovanni - 21 y/o Left Back
6 Ivar Gudjonsson - 21 y/o Centre Back
15 Chris Goldstein - 21 y/o Centre Back
5 Jay-Jay Bay-Bay - 21 y/o Centre Back
16 Henry Smith - 21 y/o Centre Back
18 Joe Franklin - 19 y/o Right Winger
7 Tomas Fratelli - 18 y/o Right Winger
17 Ben O'Bagels (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ben_O%27Bagels) - 21 y/o Left Winger
11 Feng Shui - 18 y/o Left Winger (Honest, he is really 18, yes I know he looks exactly the same as the 82 year old called Feng Shui in the national team and plays exactly like him but he's not him, honestly they just have the same name and look the same but they are different people. No his passport's not fake)
8 Ronaldo de Assizz de Mora - 19 y/o Central Midfielder
19 Sam Forlan - 19 y/o Central Midfielder
4 Xeng Xung - 21 y/o Central Midfielder
20 Kim Ming-Lee - 19 y/o Cental Midfielder
10 Jing Mao - 18 y/o Striker
22 Oona Koroman -19 y/o Striker
22 Benjamin Peacock - 20 y/o Stiker
9 'The Haitian' - 17 y/o Sriker

Formation is 4-4-2 with a style modifier of +5.
The starting eleven is numbers 1 to 11.
The manager is Kevaughn Ó Criomhthain.

Kits
Home/Away/Third
http://img511.imageshack.us/img511/3350/snhdx4.pnghttp://img511.imageshack.us/img511/1746/snanj2.pnghttp://img249.imageshack.us/img249/7441/sntfp9.png


My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers Y
Godmod scoring events N
RP injuries to my players Y
Godmod injuries to my players N
Hand out yellow cards to my players Y
Hand out red cards to my players Y
Godmod other events N

Do we apply for C&M citizenship yet?

That's the question that Sorthern Northlanders will be asking after the two teams were drawn together for what will be something like the 2846795026583rd fixture between the two teams in recent times. Well fifth but you get the idea. Other than C&M the the two teams will also face champions Elves Security Forces, Geisenfried, and Kiryu-shi. ESF and Geisenfried are almost certainly favourites to go through but the other three teams will all feel they have a chance of upsetting the party.

Speaking exclusively to SNTV (and a host of foreign tv stations) manager Kevaughn Ó Criomhthain said of the draw, "It's a fucking hard group isn't it? We can go through though but realistically we've got to look at finishing third, it's a shame only two teams go through really."

Matchday One Scores:
Group A
Minilla Island 1-2 The Pazhujeb Islands
Lovisa 0-1 Novapsolu

Group B
Elves Security Forces 1-1 Candelaria And Marquez
Kiryu-shi 4-1 Sorthern Northland

Group C
Az-cz 2-1 Krytenia
Popay 3-1 The Islands of Qutar

Group D
Alversia 1-0 Jeruselem
Kura-Pelland 0-1 Milchama

A sheepish looking Jeruselem team was looking somewhere to hide. Losing to the virtually unknown Alversia 0-1 was a bad start and the team were going wear the wrath of the former World Cup player and coach Dazza Dallas.

Dazza Dallas was furious
"Oi! You call yourself a Jeruselem team! What was that out there. No wonder no one wants to put you on any team. That was awful! I've had girls play better than that. Tomorrow, we start early training and we work hard. No more cutting slack, I want you to work hard. 6 AM start, not 7 AM. I want everyone here to be there or they are not playing. If no one turns up, well - we'll just forfeit the game. Look guys, the girls are watching! They want to see a team of winners. Now if Kate Dallas was watching, she wouldn't be impressed at all. You want girls throwing themselves at you? Yes? Well, start winning games first. You are worse than Jeru FC who aren't even real football players, just a bunch of army guys who can't be trusted with guns. Right, I maybe bimbo naked Dazza but I know what a winning man is - it's not you. You are the future of male football in Jeruselem, see what a bunch of girls in St Samuel can do?. You're not even close! I want 200% improvement, now. Or else we'll just go home."

Wheas Mybitch
"You're hot when you lose your temper coach ... I'd just like to say that. We deserve to called idiots."

Dazza: Really? Well thanks ... (giggles)

Wheas Mybitch
"OK team, you heard the coach. We are going try harder. This is no holiday."

Dazza: No more excuses, it's WIN WIN WIN now. Remember, we are a national side, not a bunch of boy scouts.

Illesian Mail Sports Section
Upset in Di Bradini Cup!

Alversia 1 - 0 Jeruselem
Corrigan '21

Today, The Alversian team arrived on the international scene with a victory over a much fancied Jeruselem team (seeded 15th in the tournament). The under-21 year olds came out focused and determined to gain something from this international debut. The boys came out hard and managed to go 1-0 up from a Niall Toal corner which ace strker Kevin Corrigan was able to header into the top corner. This was in the 21st minute. The rest of the match consisted of fast attacking football with both Michael Reynolds and Cillian Reid for Alversia along with Ghetto Blaster and Steele Micar from Jeruselem impressing in the defensive positions.

"This has been an ideal start for the lads" said Under-21 Coach Mattie McGleenan after the match "The only way is up as far as they are concerned. I know we haven't been given a hope for this tournament, but the lads have something to prove and they are ready to go all the way to achiece that"

Let's hope the young boys in blue can produce another result in their next match.

Pazhujebam Eenadu
(Pazhujebis Today)

Translated from Pazhujebi to English by Jhumenakhan Cha

Renowned Entomologist Sudhir Phuturej Makes Discovery
Having graduated from the University of Cambridge, Mr. Phuturej is one of the most well-known entomologists on the planet. So when he opted six years ago to return to his home nation of the Pazhujeb Islands to continue his work, many in the scientific community were surprised and disappointed. However, in his extremely low-budget laboratories just outside the city of Vuke on Fajr Island, Phuturej claims to have made a massive discovery in his field of behavioral insect study.

"I have been doing a study on the communication of cockroaches here in my labs for the last eight months or so. What I have been able to find is that these little animals, who we usually think of as obnoxious pests, may communicate with each other or their environment in more complex ways than we think. In fact, one roach in particular who I have studied, and who I have affectionately named Edward, seems to be particularly intelligent. I believe I may have initiated a level of communication with him in particular; why, just this morning I managed to ask him what his favorite brand of peanut butter was, and through a complex series of dance-like movements, he responded 'Skippy.'"

Many other entomologists (and normal people, as well) are totally skeptical. In fact, some random guy on the street told us at Eenadu "that's bullcrap."

Led By Tushambanda, Pazhujeb Islands U21 NT Nabs Victory In First Match
In totally unrelated news, the Purple Sea Urchins played a strong defensive game in Starblaydia today to snatch a smart-looking 2-1 win over Minilla Island. Though three goals in total were scored, for the most part Jaime Oberlander's defensive experience was readily apparent, as Minilla Island only managed three shots on goal during the entire match.

The first half was fairly evenly matched, but with both sides playing very physical and aggressive football. There were six total yellow cards in the game, and five of those were in the first half. Captain Lissama was cautioned, along with midfielder Quridheru and striker Vuhumkara. The match looked destined to finish nil nil.

However, right back Huvem Tushambanda opened up the scoring in the 44th minute. A dominant period of possession gave the Urchins three straight corner kicks, and on the third Tushambanda collected a loose ball that the Minilla Island keeper grossly mishandled and easily put his nation up one nil.

Tushambanda only looked more dangerous after half-time, traversing the right flank and juking two defenders near midfield. After a clever one-two with Pav Panithaj, he easily scored again, and it was two nil.

For the rest of the second half, it was Redhe Lissama and Semhar Idarha's game. The two centre halves caught Minilla Island offside a whopping eleven times, all in the second half, and their tackling was near perfect. Despite an underwhelming performance by the Urchins' midfielders and strikers, it was more than enough to defeat a moderately talented Minilla Island team.

The opponents did manage to net a goal in the second minute of stoppage time, but it was obviously too little too late.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/minilla_island.png 1 - 2 http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/the_pazhujeb_islands.png

Pazhujeb Islands Goalscorers:
Tushambanda 44, 48

Pazhujeb Islands Cautions:
Quridheru 19, Vuhumkara 33, Lissama 40

Pazhujeb Islands Sendings Off:
none

The Kiryu-shi Football Academy

Football Facilities: Sakaino University is located in the modern city of Sakaino in the scenic south-western region of Kiryu-shi. The university is just inside city limits, among the rolling hills and vineyards. The world class stadium is also the stadium used for national team home games, but most of the students will spend a majority of their time training in one of the practice fields that are located right next to the stadium. The stadium itself is locating on the sprawling 91 acre campus, just a 15 minute walk away from the central building of the university. Most of the players will probably room in one of the several dorms closer to the training fields, although Sakaino University requires that the Football Academy spread’s out it’s students to fully integrate them into the college atmosphere. Players will have 24/7 access to the gym in the bowels of Sakaino stadium, as well as a crew of trainers and coaches to advise and teach them.

Kiryu-shi Youth Begin In Fine Fashion

By Rebeca Doig

Hallad City, Starblaydia In Kiryu-shi’s first game in the second Di Bradini Under-21 International Tournament held in Starblaydia, the Kiryu-shi Football Academy’s stars showcased their talent and potential in a dominating four to one victory over a talented Sorthern Northland squad. The team, who were hand picked by the coaches and trainers of the Kiryu-shi Football Academy, were expected to be a pretty strong team, but the level of dominance that they exhibited was really quite unexpected. Sorthern Northland is a strong, hard working team lead by national team veteran look-a-like Feng Shui, but they looked nervous and disoriented under the leadership of manager Kevaughn Ó Criomhthain.

____Kiryu-shi started the game on the right foot, with Kazuko Machihara, a member of the national team who has had experience in international play during the Oriental Cup a few years ago, created the first good chance just three minutes into the match. After receiving a pass from Jason Mitchels, she turned and broke past several defenders, showcasing her blinding speed. The Sorthern Northland defenders looked as if they weren’t quite mentally prepared for their first match playing in an Under-21 Cup, but Machihara had a few issues with her nerves as well. Although she created a one on one with the keeper, Jonny Sage, she completely shanked her shot, as it flew wide to the left of the goal. She was able to redeem herself in the 13th minute, when a series of tight, short passes between Miguel Fantuzzi, Lendale Moore and Machihara just outside the penalty area finally found Machihara with some open room in front of her. She touched the ball right to the edge of the box and sent in her second shot of the match, a bullet that punctured past Sage into the back of the net into the lower right hand corner. Sorthern Northland looked shocked at the goal, and couldn’t pick up their pace right away. Kiryu-shi took advantage of the momentum and scored another goal in the 16th minute, when Miguel Fantuzzi, who was already credited with an assist for the first goal, scored off a beautiful run into the box and a sliding kick of a cross from Koh Miyamaki. Kiryu-shi continued to play well, but didn’t get another great chance until the 33rd minute. This time, the powerful Lendale Moore used his strength to find position in front of the net on a corner kick by Miyamaki, and headed the ball over a defender for the third goal of the match. Kiryu-shi kept up their strong play, and closed the half with a three nil lead.

____Sorthern Northland came out for the second half determined to show that they were better than they had played, and it showed. Kiryu-shi, for the first time in the match, struggled to contain the dynamic Sorthern Northland attack. Shots rained down on keeper Jonathon Geofrey, but he was able to rise up to the occasion, and didn’t allow any goals through the first 13 minutes of the second half, despite six shots on goal. 'The Haitian', an amazing 17 year old talent for Sorthern Northland looked particularly spectacular, and finally broke through in the 59th minute for the first Sorthern Northland goal, dribbling through defenders Brian Green and Therice Carls and depositing the ball past a diving Geofrey. The goal sent a shock and a message into Kiryu-shi, and they finally tightened up on defense. The coaches decided to replace midfielder Samantha Woodward with defender Mark Williams, and Kiryu-shi was able to rebound from the stunning goal. They were noticeably less aggressive than in the first half, but they kept the hungry Sorthern Northland attackers at bay, and in the 41st minute, facing an all-out attack, even managed to produce a break away goal for Machihara, her second goal of the day. The final whistle blew just a short while later, and Kiryu-shi trooped off the field, satisfied with their effort.

____As a good a game Kiryu-shi played for their first win, it is by no means a sign that they are one of the best teams in the tournament. They come into the tournament unranked, and there are several very good teams in their group, including the defending champions Elves Security Forces. Kiryu-shi’s next match will come against a team that managed to tie ESF, a very impressive squad from Candelaria And Marquez. Indeed, it would be shocking if Kiryu-shi managed another dominating win like that the entire tournament, as they face some strong competition in their group. Even Sorthern Northland is expected to rebound from their loss; they truly are a better team than they showed today.

Az-cz submits the same roster it submitted to the AO U-21s many years ago. Back then they were very small children whereas now they are middle school aged. The team doesn't use any real formation or starters and applies many of the little league style rules to the squad so that everyone gets a fair chance.

1 Kengo Inokuchi
Age: 14

#3 Ct-Pt
Age: 15

#5 Flo-Ma
Age: 15

#7 Ti-Ger
Age: 13

#9 Go-Mar
Age: 15

#11 Juan Valdez
Age: 14

#13 Cro-Mg
Age: 15

#15 Bk-Oh
Age: 13

#17 Lo-Rdr
Age: 14

#19 Swt-Ht
Age: 14

Girls:

#2 Sa-Ra
Age: 14

#4 La-Ra
Age: 14

#6 Youn Ji-Hyun
Age: 15

#8 Tie-Mar
Age: 15

#10 Selo-Ex
Age: 15

#12 Mo-El
Age: 14

#14 Su-Wee
Age: 14

#16 Baranna Obama
Age: 13

#18 Ju-Lee
Age: 14

#20 Sonia Alexander
Age: 14

If RPing first, my opponent has my permission to:
Choose Scoring Events: Y
Choose My Scorers: Y
Hand out yellow cards to my players: N
Hand out red cards to my players: N
Injure my players: N
Godmod any other events: Y (within reason)

The team known almost exclusively as the kids were really beginning to chafe at that nickname. They were all teenagers now and had many of the emotional issues that teenagers get. But they also had a fishbowl life as they were icons back in Az-cz. Noz-Tf had done a great job in picking them so that he picked a squad actually full of 20 beautiful athletic kids. If there was a job calling for a teenage model it was almost certainly selected from this group. And the team was starting to scrimmage with -League sides and even had a couple of training matches against the full on national side.

So it was a heady thing being one of the "kids". And as such despite their incredible natural talents, knowledge of each other, and experience they were prone to lapses from time to time.

Such was what happened against Krytenia. The team had just arrived in Starblaydia and all of the Az-czzers in Starblaydia, fans that made the trip and the Starblaydian fans they had made had greeted them and they really hadn't gotten down to the business of football. Their training was very light and it really showed on the pitch. Krytenia came out and just dominated the game, they controlled possession beautifully and when they opened the scoring in the 7th minute it looked like they would dominate the game. And for the rest of the half they really were the much better side. They were prevented from a second goal only by the good work of Baranna Obama who was in goal for the match and the few good chances they did generate were wasted because the team was trying to show off for their fans.

And so it continued in the second half. Krytenia would make a bunch of nice plays to string together an attack and get a good shot for it to just not quite work and the kids would try to get too fancy and waste an opportunity.

For half an hour that continued. It really looked as if the team was content to start the tournament off with a loss to Krytenia. But in the last 15 minutes the team really hit a switch and you could tell Krytenia was in trouble. In the 78th minute Ti-Ger scored the first Az-cz goal and from then on in the Krytenia net was peppered. When Mo-El put the second goal in with 6 minutes left before injury time the team barely celebrated. They just went back to trying to make fancy plays and held on for the win.

The game showed just how talented their squad is, but at the same time the true lack of mental preperation this squad had. They were teenage celebrities, and expecting teenage celebrities to be responsible was a lot to ask. It definitely looked like if something was to do the team in that would be it.

The Albrecht Herald
C&M break Harden fast rule to take majestic point
By Tracker Edwards

As one door closes, another one opens. Millions of Candelariasians were left drowning their sorrows yesterday* after their newfound heroes slumped to a 36-34 quarter-final defeat to Solenial. It had looked for the barest instant as though a collection of chefs, plumbers and waste management officials had beaten the Rugby World Cup hosts on their own soil, securing yet another game against bloody Sorthern Northland, and a place in Candelarias sporting legend. But a try was scored, a conversion put away, and a group of formerly anonymous men were left to fly back to what will surely be, for them, a rather unexpected heroes’ welcome.

And so we’re left with the overpaid, overhyped nancy-boys of the football team. And not even that, but the petulant children of the Under-21 side. Enthusiasm was hardly great. Yes, they’d reached the final, the final for goodness’ sake, of the Justantina Cup. And lost only because of the political machinations of a few well-meaning fools in seeing the embarrassingly outclassed Imogen Dacosta elevated out of her depth. Whatever the fortunes of Mark Baker’s senior side; Lloyd Donnelly’s youngsters have already proven themselves very good indeed.

But it’s football. The ball’s spherical and there’s not nearly enough muddiness and thighs. It’s soccer. It’s so last season.

Perhaps it was a good old-fashioned Candelariasian survival technique. Don’t set your sights too high, my son. Don’t reach for the stars. There’s no way we can produce a tall enough ladder, and even if you get there you won’t like the heat. It’s the bloomin’ Valanora**. The reigning champions. The young of the World Cup quarter-finalists. Lad, you don’t stand a chance.

Allowing a moment of self-indulgence; that’s not what I said. And if the fatherfigures*** of Joe Cunningham and Ben Young and Prince Mapleson whispered such things to their offspring; our finest adolescents clearly didn’t take heed. When it comes to their chosen sport, profession and vocation; only the crumbling visage of Lloyd Donnelly matters. And he got it utterly right.

Perhaps the experience of seven of the Small Blues’ starting XI of playing together in the recent excursion to St. Samuel accounted for the greater confidence the side in blue showed over those in black. Perhaps the setting for this game helped, with C&M firmly entrenched in the pleasingly tiddly little ground of Starblaydia’s second city; Fabio Mannasuch’s menandwomenandotherthingswe’renotallowedtomention having spent the last week or so getting better acquainted with the stadium in Hallad, their home for the remainder of the group games. C&M are clearly more used to playing at smaller stadia, and the Bekkside Arena suited them down to the ground. Perhaps the Cup holders were merely lethargic; as any team can be on the first matchday of a tournament.

Or perhaps, you never know, maybe… Our young lads were actually really good yesterday.

They will have known all too well that beating the Eesseff would represent a tall order, in more ways than one. Yet they came out with all guns blazing; with Reiban Okeke at the fore of the diamond often getting ahead of one or both strikers; with the wing-backs Özkan Yalçin and William Burgos unafraid to get into the thick of it. Even the young, untested newcomer Connor Mengucci at the base of the midfield found time to drive forward more than once.

The Small Blues had their periods under the marauding cosh of their opposition, it’s true. They took time to find their feet; but after a quarter of an hour of almost unrelenting C&M pressure their nation’s greater experience told. It fell to the oldest player in the ESF line-up, roving midfielder Sural Harden, to take charge. The six-footer almost gave his side a gorgeous goal against the preceding run of play, as he stormed through the challenges of Young and Burgos to find himself one-on-one with Mapleson. The Candelaria-Allemali ‘keeper presented a big target to Harden, and the Wexaxan player proved himself less than an expert finisher when he shot was scuffed just wide of the debutant goalie.

But Harden was far from finished, and as the game progressed he began to his talents for distribution. Suddenly, the previously starved strike partnership of Ariela Night and Elan Legown began to amass chances. For all C&M’s early – and later – possession and opportunities; big Prince Mapleson and the captain Ben Young must take all the plaudits for keeping their side in the game. Twice the elusive Night gave defender Mars Douaydari the slip, the huge frame of the MarquezOW twenty-year-old ineffectual in the face of the star of ESF’s last tournament in Starblaydia. Being the C&M Under-21 goalkeeper does not seem a charmed task, given the long-term injury suffered by Ray Winkett, the long-term ban picked-up by Ethan Schepinov for his ghastly challenge in the Cookesland match, and the… unfortunate Miss Dacosta. But Mapleson seems in the space of but a game to have made the role his own, and was the match of anything Night threw at him. Meanwhile, and for all her undoubted trickery, Young was getting the better of Legown; using his extra couple of years experience of professional football to keep her at bay.

As Mannasuch’s side continued to labour unsuccessfully, C&M began to put together some better moves. Finding the front two was proving difficult for Okeke and Matteo Corradini, so the baton was mentally passed to Ben Edwards. Under pressure from Sylvanus Galadian, he spotted Rául Vélez unaccompanied on the other side of the pitch. A note-perfect ball later, and Vélez was himself able to pick out little Joey Cunningham. The Albrecht FC starlet had Willa Floren for company, but had eyes only for Gors Silva’s goal and sent a thundering shot past the barbarian between the sticks.

A scoreline of C&M 1 ESF 0 seemed just too surreal, and it would be Harden again who provided the best, and telling, opportunity to equalise; though the live feed from Starblaydia went iffy and that precise moment and we haven’t got the faintest clue who put the ball in the back of the net. Isn’t that a pity?

Any road up, the game was back level and to their credit neither side was satisfied with that. Mapleson was again called into action by Night, and then Ingani Caru on the follow-up. For their part, C&M was far from overawed and almost sealed a famous victory when Vélez just failed to get a toe on an Edwards free-kick.

A pleasing surprise of a result it may have been, but it remains important not to go overboard. Alversia, after all, took a stunning three points from Jeruselem – admittedly a Jeru side completely changed from that of the Justantina Cup – while Popay and the Pazhujeb Island took notable wins. But the result that bodes the most came in C&M’s Group B, as our next opponents, Kiryu-shi, disposed of an experienced Sorthern Northland side 4-1. Donnelly seems confident enough to put out an unchanged side against the stoners from Gabbly, but off the back of a 4-1 demolition, he will have to make the most of the next few days’ training time.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Candelaria And Marquez.png Candelaria And Marquez 1
Cunningham 60

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/elves security forces.png The other lot 1
Hu Kan-seh? 71

__________________________

*With fruit juice, obviously. Candelariasians tend to frown on the copious intake of alcohol.

**Best not to mention the word ‘elves’ where possible. People ask questions.

***Otherwise it’s discrimination against step-fathers or those without dads, y’see?

Popayen Sports

Lowly Popay on high.

Everyone in the Popayen camp today was elated after their 3-1 win over The Islands of Qutar, after an amazing hat trick from a one, Arthur Maranesi. Scoring his first from a supurb Coco asist in the 29th, Popay looked very comftable. Popay had the chance to make it 3-0 before half time but two misses from Jones and Cristiano showed Popay's inexpirence and youth. This inexpirence and youth showed after 48', when a Qutarian striker scored after a schoolboy error by Jonny Pye allowed for the equalisor.

It seemed that Popay where headed for a draw in this game intill the 78th, when Maranesi recived the ball from Jamie Potts and while nearly all the Qutarian players stopped thinking it was an obvious offside. However, the linesman kept the flag down and the ref didn't blow, leaving Maranesi (Already halfway into the Qutar Half) with just the goal keeper to beat, which he did with ease. Evidence shows that the call was very well made, showing Maranesi to be fractinoaly onside. With Popay taking back the lead so late in the match showed to of rattled Qutar. Despite two close misses by Qutar they couldn't convert, and in the first minute of injury time, Maranesi scored again from a very simple headed goal.

This sealed the victory and eruptions of celebration went around the stadium with Popayen supporters hugging each other and celbrating, a quite frankly, suprise win. This win means alot more than people first realsed, when the Az-cz V Krytenia score came in, (Az-cz winning 2-1) Popay where revield to be top of their group. This result may last longer then people expect because Az-cz don't play the next set of fixtures, while Popay play Krytenia next, who lost their first game, which could give Popay an edge.

Satatisics
Goals: {Maranesi (Popay) 29' 79' 90'+1} {Qutarian Striker (Qutar) 48'}
Bookings: None
Fouls: Popay (8) Qutar (5)
Possesion: Popay (55%) Qutar (45%)
Shots: Popay (7) Qutar (5)

Table after MD1
Team Pl Pt GD
Popay 1 3 +2
Az-cz 1 3 +1
St Samuel 0 0 -
Krytenia 1 0 -1
Is. Qutar 1 0 -2

Popayen's IX for next game
{Graham Black}
{Jonny Pye} {Ralph Brown} {Peter Davis} {Célodean}
{Bobo} {Peter Jones} {Arthur Maranesi} {Jamie Potts} {Coco}
{Christiano}

OOC:If someone knows a name for the Qutarian striker please can you edit one in. (and also delete these once done, thanks :D)

Matchday Two Scores:
Group A
The Pazhujeb Islands 5-1 Lovisa
Starblaydia 5-2 Novapsolu

Group B
Candelaria And Marquez 3-0 Kiryu-shi
Geisenfried 2-1 Sorthern Northland

Group C
Krytenia 2-4 Popay
St Samuel 2-1 The Island of Qutar

Group D
Jeruselem 0-0 Kura-Pelland
Oliverry 3-3 Milchama


Matchday Two Tables:
Group A P W D L GF GA GD Pts
The Pazhujeb Islands 2 2 0 0 7 2 +5 6
Starblaydia 1 1 0 0 5 2 +3 3
Novapsolu 2 1 0 1 3 5 -2 3
Minilla Island 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
Lovisa 2 0 0 2 1 6 -5 0


Group B P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Candelaria and Marquez 2 1 1 0 4 1 +3 4
Geisenfried 1 1 0 0 2 1 +1 3
Kiryu-shi 2 1 0 1 4 4 0 3
Elves Security Forces 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
Sorthern Northland 2 0 0 2 2 6 -4 0


Group C P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Popay 2 2 0 0 7 3 +4 6
Az-cz 1 1 0 0 2 1 +1 3
St Samuel 1 1 0 0 2 1 +1 3
Krytenia 2 0 0 2 3 6 -3 0
The Islands of Qutar 2 0 0 2 2 5 -3 0


Group D P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Milchama 2 1 1 0 4 3 +1 4
Alversia 1 1 0 0 1 0 +1 3
Oliverry 1 0 1 0 3 3 0 1
Jeruselem 2 0 1 1 0 1 -1 1
Kura Pelland 2 0 1 1 0 1 -1 1

Valanora Express
Marauders Come Out Flat

The youngsters began their defence of the title at the Di Brandi U-21 Cup in Starblaydia last weekend, and unfortunately, came out very flat against the spieciests Candelaria And Marquez squad. To be fair to the Small Blues, they played absolutely out of thier minds and deservedly shared the points with the youngins, but in all honesty, after they won the championship last tournament, you just don't come out and draw against an unseeded squad. Now I know that all but Night and Harden are gone from the squad, and that Harden got no playing time in the last tournament, but you know what, I don't care. When your squad is of this calibur and has set the precedent of winning the first one, you need to come out on your a-game and put the underlings where they belong, even if they happen to be a very strong up and coming side.

So now the Marauders have an must win situation against a very talented Kiryu-shi squad, who coincedently were just demolished by the same C&M squad that drew us. Granted, it might of just been first matchday jitters, but as I see it, if the match against Canderlia and Marquez is any indicator, then we should not be expecting a win. Night and Legown looked completely lost out there together for a good portion of the match. It was only thanks to a very inspired effort by Harden that the squad even managed a point, as he found Glow at the top of the box, and the midfielder used his frame to block off the defender as he half volleyed the pass into the netting.

Besides Harden, the only other note worthy performance was that of Gors Silva. It seems like Draco and Dagor before him, that the barbarians can adjust easily to the elven flow of the game as the keeper was nearly mistake free and would of surely gotten the man of the match award had the squad found a go ahead goal. van Posey and St. Louis would be looking over their shoulders, as this young Turruth Gordurian could be making his way onto the senior squad should his performances be of the same quality.

Article by Luna Santapa

Popayen Sports

It just get's better!

Absaloute anrachy ensued in the Popayen capital after this 4-2 win over Krytenia. After coming 2-1 down to win 4-2 was more than expected of the Poayen Squad. After going a goal down after 6' it all looked grim for Popay, Yet another carless mistake by the Popayen defence let Krytenia's strikers to pounce, and to be fair, they don't miss a chance like that. After 13' things seemed to of got better with two close misses by Bobo, hitting it just wide, but it was only after 23' that Popay got the equaliser. An unluckly deflection off a Krytenian defender made the Christiano shot go in, very lucky, but you get no points for style in football. However, only 3 minuets later, disaster struck for Popay, an amazing goal from outside the box easily beat Graham Black and put Krytenia back in front, the Jublient Popayens where silenced very quickly. Krytenia then domated the rest of the first half, with an easily chance to get a 3rd, but only just wide, the Kyrtenian striker had his head in his hands.

The second half however was a totaly diffrent tale. Manager Freddy Fellow must of had some words for them back in the chaging room because a minute after the re-start, Popay got the equaliser curtosy of Coco. A great run from the byline into the box, and the keeper was beaten by chip over his head. This created more confidence then imaginable for the Popayens, with the score at 2-2, the Popayen fans started to rally around their team and the Popayen played like demons for 10 minuets intill it almost went all wrong. A very bad mistake by Maranesi cost him to do a very bad foul, earning him a booking and giving Krytenia a free kick in a goal scorering area. Increadbly luckly, Krytenia just missed, hitting the crossbar. After that Popay played very cagely, and almost allowed to Krytenia a 3rd and possibly a 4th. After 67 minuets it looked like the match would end a draw intill some subs (Green for Jones and O'Shea for Chritiano) bought life back into the Popayen game, and in the 70th minute O'Shea scored the deicisive 3rd goal for Popayen, not only sending the Popayen fans into delight but sapping the last of the confidence out of Krytenia. They had tried everything but they couldn't do enough. And the 87th minute goal by Maranesi just put the icing on the cake for Popay, and the salt to the wound for Krytenia.

"Delighted," Was the one word response by manager Freddy Fellow before he was carried of in a huddle by the delgihted players. Two wins out of two isn't half bad for a team not expecting to win any in this torniment. But the players, fans and managment know not to get too cocky, for the have to face alot harder sides to come, although people have began getting their caculator out and have started to say that it could be possible that they get through if enough results go there way but surely, these are just hopes right now?

Popay however have to not get to fantisful right now, they face one of the hardest teams in their group, St Samuel. Only played one game in this torniment so far means that they are still reletivly "Fresh" but many people have pointed out that theorticaly, since Popay got a better result against Qutar then St Samuel did, they have stated that they may have a chance, just a small chance, but they have a chance.

Satatisics
Goals: {(Krytenia) 6' 26'}{Christinao (Popay) 23'} {Coco (Popay) 46'}{O'Shea (Popay) 70'}{Maranesi (Popay) 87'}
Bookings: {Maranesi (Popay) 56'}
Fouls: Popay (12) Krytenia (3)
Possesion: Popay (49%) Krytenia (51%)
Shots: Popay (10) Krytenia (9)

Table after MD2
Group C P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Popay 2 2 0 0 7 3 +4 6
Az-cz 1 1 0 0 2 1 +1 3
St Samuel 1 1 0 0 2 1 +1 3
Krytenia 2 0 0 2 3 6 -3 0
The Islands of Qutar 2 0 0 2 2 5 -3 0

Sorthern Northland crash and burn

No I'm not making this up, but someone did actually think it may be a good idea to see whether or not the team bus could break the land speed record (almost quite defiantly petrol head manager Kevaughn Ó Criomhthain). Unsurprisingly it failed in its attempt although it went some way to breaking the record for the biggest road accident in Starblaydia after the coach hit another car at some 176kmph and causing a triple figure number of cars to crash. Amazingly all of the players escaped the accident unharmed and able to compete in the Di Bradini Cup. Suggestions that alcohol may have been involved in this are ridiculous, this is a Sorthern Northland team, of course alcohol was involved. Although less than convincing defeats in the first two games are hardly surprising given the nature of the accident.

The first defeat came against Kiryu-shi. The Kiryu-Shians (sp?) had plenty of chances early one, most of which were missed but they did open the scoring after just thirteen minutes, following a number of nice, short interchanges by Kiryu-shi the ball found its way to Kazuko Machihara whose second time shot gave keeper Jonny Sage absolutely no chance. Kiryu-shi doubled the advantage just three minutes later, Miguel Fantuzzi made an excellent run into the box and was on hand to slide home Koh Miyamaki's low cross. Kiryu-shi added a third after 33 minutes when Lendale Moore headed home Miyamaki's corner. The scoreline stayed at 3-0 at the half time whistle.

Sorthern Northland came out determined to make amends for a poor first half performance and absolutely bombarded the Kiryu-shi goal and were it not for the excellent form of keeper Jonathon Geofrey, they may have have scored a few before the thirteenth minute of the second half. It was 'The Haitian' who broke the resistense after a run past defenders Brian Green and Therice Carls before chipping the ball over Geofrey's desperate lunge. The Sortherners were unable to keep up the pressure as Kiryu-shi looked to stop them and succeeded by packing their defence to the rafters. A fourth Kiryu-shi goal with less than five minute remaining by Machihara ended any slim chances of a SN comeback.

Sorthern Northland 1-4 Kiryu-shi

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Geisenfried played Sorthern Northland in the second match day of the competition and I'm told it was a cracking match but due to a heavy fog which destroyed all visibility I can't confirm this, all I know is that SN lost 2-1 and that the Sortherners goal was scored by 18 year old Jing Mao. If anyone though SN had a chance of going through after the defeat against Kiryu-shi, this defeat should have dispossessed those delirious ideas.

Geisenfried 2-1 Sorthern Northland

St Samuel 2-1 The Island of Qutar

St Samuel began there 2nd Di Bradini Cup campaign with a victory over The Island of Qutar with a strong 2-1 win. After the announcement that five of the under 21 squad would be promoted to the first team for the Cup of Harmony, the team had even more to prove. And it was two of those players that had been called up to the CoH squad who scored the Latin Crusader's goals.

It was Salvatore Rocka who scored on the 51st minute to put St Samuel one nil up when he connected with a well placed cross from Di Helana to head the ball home.

Sebastien Atalanta got the second on the 76th minute when a shot from Seth Justantinium was deflected into the path of Atalanta who struck the ball into the net from close range.

Qutar got one back on the 86th minute to make for a close finish, but despite the late goal, St Samuel's performance was a good display, with a good platform to proceed into the next round.

...the biggest road accident in Starblaydia after the coach hit another car at some 176kmph and causing a triple figure number of cars to crash...

OOC: Get bent, I'm not having that.

The Jeruselem team were about to get blasted again.

Dazza:
"What's going on? Haven't you seen a goal before? What kind of finishing was that? The net is not going grow wider or taller for you. Come on boys, we needed ton win that game. We had chances, and we should have scored one goal but it's too late now. I know you haven't played much but my teenage daughter Jacinta can finish better than that. I know you are trying but come on. When people give a chance to score, GO FOR IT. Don't fire piddly little weak shots, hit the f**king ball hard. Make the keeper work! Look at you, my daughter played World Cup football PREGNANT and she wasn't tired like you lot. You have to be REAL MEN. Right, tomorrow! Another 6 AM start. We're going be at the swimming pool. Dazza can swim, so you have chase the Bike in a bikini for four laps! If you can't swim, I'll get someone to teach you. Bottom line - WIN the next game. None of this draw business. THREE POINTS is the target. Questions?"

<Silence>

The team looked ashamed.

Dazza:
"Look at you. What a bunch of losers. Scared before a little woman is shouting at you. Come on, I'm just telling you what the real world is about. I'm doing this for your benefit. If you want to career in football, NOW is the time to prove yourself. If we win this, people will be throwing money at you. Girls will chasing but if you mess it up, they'll be throwing you out of the clubs. So, I'm here to help. I can't play for you, you must go out there and win for yourselves. Win for you not me. I want to win but I'm the coach. I'm not the team. So, next game - play for yourself because I have nothing to prove. It's you who needs to prove something. Let's be winners not losers. You know what I expect from you. Commitment, not excuses."

Pazhujebam Eenadu
(Pazhujebis Today)

Translated from Pazhujebi to English by Jhumenakhan Cha

Crackpot Entomologist Claims To Have Had Conversation With Roach
Sudhir Phuturej, world-renowned insect scientist, has made further claims from his Vuke-based laboratory. Continuing off of previous reports that he had opened up conversations with a cockroach named "Edward," he claims to have learned more about inter-cockroach communication.

http://www.utsa.edu/today/images/faculty/dibyendusarkar.jpg

"I am ecstatic to report that I have increased my communications with Edward tenfold. In addition to learning more about his perspectives on world politics, I have discussed more recreational subjects, such as his preference for Coke or Pepsi, his opinions on Tom Hanks' acting, and his recount of his ancestors' arrival upon the Pazhujeb Islands.

http://www.freewebs.com/abduldukhirahiq/cockroach.PNG

"One interesting item of note is that Edward claims to be able to communicate with other roaches telepathically over long distances, even thousands of miles. Considering the lack of a communications infrastructure in the Pazhujeb Islands, this could become of significant use to our citizens."

Another scientist, Mrs. Rajira Gholbassa, was adamant in her skepticism.

"Really? I could come up with a more convincing theory on animal communication from watching the behavior of my 4-day old infant son! Sometimes he burps louder than other times, and that has me convinced that he is communicating information about the American stock market. What's that, Mahatma? Sell my stocks in gold? It's done!"

We at Eenadu share Mrs. Gholbassa's suspicion, and have contacted Mr. Phuturej with the hopes of interviewing "Edward." However, as only Phuturej seems capable of communicating with the small pest, we will likely remain skeptical, even after the interview, which he has bravely agreed to.

Huge Win Over Lovisa Lifts Confidence Of NT
After a narrow but impressive win over Minilla Island, the Purple Sea Urchins only looked stronger when they faced an undeniably sharp Lovisa side.on Matchday 2. With a classy three-goal first half, The Pazhujeb Islands made sure that Lovisa never looked like winning.

16-year-old standout Qabe Oujadda lived up to high expectations by dribbling two Lovisa midfielders and using his pace to create a breakaway. No luck for Lovisa led to a Pazhujeb Islands lead 13 minutes in. 13 more minutes later saw another goal for the Pazhujebis: Redhe Lissama came up out of his centre-back spot for a left-side corner to volley a near-poster into the back of the net. Two nil.

Not to be outdone, the 37th minute saw sensational striker Chaya Vuhumkara, one of the most talked about players on the Urchins squad, open up his scoring at the international level. A long possession in the Lovisa end led to some conservative dribbling near the top of the area. A lot of men came forward, and the Pazhujebis just seemed to be looking for the perfect opportunity. Finally, Vuharana Quridheru whipped a lofty cross about 20 yards across the goalmouth, where apparently Lovisa had neglected to defend. Though Vuhumkara's angle was poor, he managed to dribble back to his left to find enough space to shoot, and his high blast rang off the bar and in. Three nil.

Lovisa came out with a bit more enthusiasm in the second half, scoring a goal at 65 minutes, but our men in purple only kept piling on the possession, and in the 79th and 86th minutes respectively, substitute Awabad Jhavaraja scored with a blistering header after finding himself open on the break, and Shipuchan Parokshara crushed a left-footer from 20 yards to end the rampage at five one.

Jaime Oberlander had nothing but praise for his boys:

"They did great work. Great work. I think we are the beneficiaries of a nice draw, with our tougher opponents coming on later matchdays, but you won't see me whining."

Asked about the upcoming match with Starblaydia, Oberlander said:

"I'll talk about that on gameday. Right now I'm just trying to take it day by day."

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/the_pazhujeb_islands.png 5 - 1 http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/lovisa.png

Pazhujeb Islands Goalscorers:
Oujadda 13, Lissama 26, Vuhumkara 37, Jhavaraja 79, Parokshara 86

Pazhujeb Islands Cautions:
none

Pazhujeb Islands Sendings Off:
none

U-21 teams crash not one of the biggest in Starblaydia

Following a complaint from Starblaydia, the Beningrad Morning Star would like to withdraw the comment, "it went some way to breaking the record for the biggest road accident in Starblaydia". Worryingly for road users in the country it seems that this was in fact nowhere near being the biggest road accident in the country.

The Albrecht Herald
Fortune favours braver blues
By Tracker Edwards

One thing separates football from almost any other sport: It’s difficult to score. Cagey, last-game-of-the-group-stage matches perhaps aside; the Huge Blues’ recent excursions to Solenial have proven that even the weakest of rugby nations can regularly put multiple points up on the board against their clear betters, while the larger countries should regularly expect to rack up scores approaching triple figures. And in a game like Tennis, someone must always score. Every point, every individual moment in the match must go to one or the other competitor.

Football is a game in which most such ‘moments’ end in failure; be they memorable or, for the most part, utterly forgettable. The continued baiting of referees by players, supporters and management alike for the officials’ occasional failures serve to show the failures inherent in the human mind, the most complex and beautiful construct in the world but littered with errors. For while we and they remember and curse the moment when a clear offside was not given, or a striker unfairly flagged after a beautifully-timed run; when a penalty is awarded when the ball plainly hit the defender’s chest; when a scything tackle intended only to hurt does not see a yellow card… we forget the other ‘moments’ where the playmaker is forced to pass in an inconvenient direction to avoid the ill-placed man in black; where the wind takes the ball millimetres away from the forward’s toe and stops the greatest goal in history from being scored. In this day and age particularly, we ignore the letter of the law; knowing that in every game there are a dozen or more challenges in the box that should result in a penalty; shirt-pullings that should see free-kicks at the very least. Worse, we never even notice the single blades of grass that make the difference between a goal or save, relegation or survival, victory or heart-wrenching defeat.

In other sports this matters less, for every moment containing a brave but ultimately botched attempt to score is followed almost immediately by another. But in low-scoring football, the best side often doesn’t win, doesn’t get the rub of the green. Coaches and fans are left to seize upon the aloof figure of officialdom to heap on their blame for defeat. Some remote viewers would claim that this represents merely their unwillingness to lay responsibility on the feet of their beloved players, or even themselves. But while that is part of the story, it ignores the inability of these passionate supporters to cope with the truth. That the mindless blades of grass without whom their treasured sport would not be possible, hold the ultimate fate of the human football fan’s hopes and dreams. The grass has no opinions, no cares as to the result of a match; yet a random, chaotic decision is made as to the ultimate direction of every ball. A single daisy may make the different between 2-1 to the hosts or 1-2 to the visitors. Fans desperate to find cause in the final result must then look towards other figures, they must find reason where none is to be found. They must locate an architect for their downfall. The mechanical whims of the flora of the stadium are simply not enough.

Religions have been started over less.

And so it will be with the people of Kiryu-shi. After their first foray into the World Cup finals ended with a place at the bottom of their group; they will no doubt have passed their dashed hopes onto their youth. What better pick-me-up than success for a team of youngsters drawn from the country’s much-vaunted Sakaino University Academy. A peoples’ best and – in many cases – brightest, sent to distant shores to prove that Kiryu-shi was, at something at least, one of the world’s very best. Four goals put past a talented side such as Sorthern Northland will have only added to those hopes. So how, then, could they possibly go and loose – and loose three-nil to that slightly middle-of-the-road Republic in the middle-of-nowhere with the very long – or very short – name?

The management may be blamed, the players pilloried. The negative influences of Destiny, gods or intoxicating substances may be deployed. Only a clear-headed few will acknowledge that the caprice of the poaceae ultimately sealed the fate of their squad.

For Kiryu-shi were in no way deserving of defeat, never mind by three goals. The young of C&M were sparkling, make no mistake, but this was not a performance that lived up to the heights of the draw with the Valanora, nor one which will have any of the Cup of Harmony squad worrying about their places in future squads. If anything, this was as equal a game as could be imagined; the two teams split only be good fortune at key moments, and the vital decisions of the manager. Lloyd Donnelly made the correct call in sending out his team with a more offensive outlook that the opposition; for if a game is to be decided on the vagaries of the pitch at opportune moments, it is wise to make sure your team will have more of them. The Small Blues’ opportunities were still few, and marred often by poor decisions by young minds. But somehow C&M emerged with a three-nil victory, Kiryu-shi a three-nil defeat, and none will remember quite how.

Özkan Yalçin is not supposed to score solo efforts, that is not his role. Yet after twenty minutes, he happened to find himself just inside his own half with the ball after it had taken a strange bounce away from the usually adroit feet of Jason Mitchells. Catching his opponent on the hop, Yalçin was able to hit the ball through the Kiryu-shi midfielder’s legs, squeeze past Mitchells himself, and narrowly – and by pure fortuitousness – stop the ball from bobbling over the tramline. Seeing Joe Cunningham wandering into the box, Yalçin put in a poor cross which hit Therice Carls, and could have gone anywhere. It would have taken a supercomputer the size of the galaxy to work out, in that split of an instant, that its path would take it back to Yalçin, but the C&M fans in the crowd cheered the ‘foresight’ of their man regardless. Yalçin found himself with few choices to make, with Cunningham and Reiban Okeke the only men available to pass to and both well-marshalled. So Yalçin took aim himself; the shot taking a small but telling deflection off Brian Green that left Jonathon Geofrey in goal inches out of position. Yalçin took the glory of course, and such is football. Kazuko Machihara and Lendale Moore had already had fluffed much better chances than this. But it was Yalçin who somehow stuck the ball into the back of the net, and gave C&M what would ultimate prove an unassailable lead.

Nor can any manager legislate for those times when football ceases to be a team game and followers of lesser sports are left to ruminate on the ability of one player, in one moment, to change the result of a match utterly. We will never know if Ben Edwards meant to see his volley fly into the top corner from the tightest of angles, or if the wind, or blind good luck, played more than its fair share. Oh, that you or I could have the innate skill to be able to understand the thought processes for the Albrecht FC star. But either way, he had given the Small Blues a helpful margin to defend.

And defend it they did, though Kiryu-shi would be left cursing their luck. When Ben Young brought down Moore in the area; a penalty seemed surely in the offing. The referee appeared to bottle it, deciding it was a 50/50 under frankly unbecoming pressure from both the Kiryu-shi and C&M players in his ear. Only television replays revealed the decision had been correct, in one sense, and that the challenge had taken place millimetres outside of the box. Kiryu-shi could still rightfully feel aggrieved at not getting a free kick in a very dangerous area.

Shortly afterwards, another Moore effort went inches over the bar. And then C&M sealed it. Did Reiban Okeke deliver the perfect pass to Cunningham? Or was it simply that the player who’s distribution can leave much to be desired, who can over- and under-hit a pass just as often as get one on the nose, just so happened to put the right amount of oomph on the ball that it bumped over a divot in the pitch and landed at Cunningham’s feet? Perhaps it doesn’t matter, but we would be wise not to forget the outstanding degree of flukiness that pervaded this game.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Candelaria And Marquez.png Candelaria And Marquez Under-21s 3
Yalçin 21, Edwards 60, Cunningham 73

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/kiryu-shi.png Kiryu-shi Under-21s 0

_________________

The Bekkside Arena was deserted now. Edwards blew out his cheeks and glanced again at the post-it note stuck to the front of his notebook.

Tracker –

Good to hear you’re enjoying Tabeck, Starblaydia’s a remarkable country, isn’t it? But, and I believed we’re talked about this only recently, you will refrain from mentioning some of their more… individual denizens, won’t you? I had to send a regrettably stern letter to young Ms. Bailey about this just the other day.

Oh yes, and I don’t suppose there’s a chance you could, I don’t know, tone things down a bit? A one-all draw against you-know-who and as I dictate this it looks as though Donnelly’s kids are rather pummelling the other lot… We all have to be concerned when a C&M side does rather better than it supposed to be, don’t we? You’re an intelligent man, I’m sure you understand. Just… don’t pat them on the back *too* much, will you Tracker?

Glad we had this talk,

Lyndon xx

Edwards shook his head vaguely, hit ‘send’ on his e-mail report to the Herald, and snapped his laptop shut.

Shooting Up The Table
Starblaydia hammer Novapsolu

The Under-21 sides of Starblaydia and most-recent World Cup hosts Novapsolu met in Starblaydia's captial city, and it was the hosts who came out on top with a fairly enormous five-two win. Starblaydia generally ran rampant over the inexperienced Novapsolu team, but they had a few scares along the way thanks to their Number-Ten, Brad Simondi. Though Starblaydia opened the scoring with the big man Stefan Hinkonnen after twenty minutes - a low drive past Dillon from around fifteen yards out - the teams were quickly level again when Simondi volleyed in a the near post past the despairing leap of Kostas Nikolaidis. The new young striker chested down the ball from a Tasdole cross and took an early shot before the ball had bounced, before Sebastian Brunner could consider a challenge.

Such was the run-around that Simondi gave Brunner, lumbering and clumsy in comparison, that the two centre-backs were forced to switch sides repeatedly throughout the match so Lima could keep tabs on the Novapsolu forward. This, in turn, upset the Starblaydi defence throughout the game, with the players frequently looking out of position and generally in trouble. The excellent Starblaydi left-back, Leandro Perheira, took the bull by the proverbial horns and charged his way up the pitch during a series of Starblaydi moves, culminating in getting on the end of a Gomes cross at the back post, stabbing the ball into the net from close range. Starblaydia weren't done before the end of the half, though, as Hinkonnen bagged his second, a powerful header from a pinpoint Gomes cross for the third.

Even then the action in the first half wasn't done and the scoreboard ticked over to Three-Two when that man Simondi again struck a sweet right-footed shot from outside the area that had curve and dip and left Nikolaidis doing a Superman impression in the six-yard box, only to hit the floor - not fly - and look up to see the net billowing from the shot. It proved to be the final kick of the first half, and the teams went in at half time with Starblaydi edging in front.

The message in the second half was simple: shackle Simondi. Jabir dropped back closer to his own goal to try and get a handle on Di Bradini, while the full-backs stayed further back to stop any wide roaming from the youngster. This, however, blunted Starblaydia's attack for the opening minutes of the second half, with very little width and not much support in the midfield. Iakovakis made some changes, putting the left-winger Canildo to left-back, and swapping the up-to-then outstanding Perheira for Juan Oscar, who slotted into the left midfield role. His more defensive nature, combined with Canildo's overlapping and wing play - essentially a wing-back - finally provided that much-needed width and tenacity in the centre of the park. Raphael Torino was also brought on for Chong-sun, in an attempt to go forward in a different manner.

Starblaydia re-took the initiative and Jaime Gomes' cross-come-shot from out wide nestled into the bottom corner of the net - whether he meant it as an attempt on goal can't be guessed at, but Torino was in the centre at the time, screaming for the square ball. Starblaydia thought they had it sewn up at four-two, but were provided with food for though with an excellent Simondi free-kick that hit the crossbar with a clatter, though no-one was lucky enough to be in a position to follow up on it, as Brunner hoofed it clear. Nuno Quaresma made an appearance with just over ten minutes to go, replacing Hinkonnen, and his first contribution was a defence-splitting pass for Alfonso Di Angelo to run on to, side-footing the ball past Dillon for the fifth.

Five-two it finished, but it could have been four-all. Watch out for that Simondi lad, he's going be a world-beater. After all, he nearly beat Starblaydia single-handed.

Final score from the Jhanna City Rec.
Starblaydia 5 - 2 Novapsolu
(Hinkonnen 22 & 41, Perheira 37, Gomes 57, Di Angelo 79) - (Simondi 25 & 45)

Matchday Three Scores:
Group A
Starblaydia 3-0 Lovisa
Novapsolu 3-3 Minilla Island

Group B
Geisenfried 0-3 Kiryu-shi
Sorthern Northland 0-5 Elves Security Forces

Group C
St Samuel 2-1 Popay
The Islands of Qutar 0-1 Az-cz

Group D
Oliverry 0-1 Kura-Pelland
Milchama 1-3 Alversia


Matchday Three Tables:
Group A P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Starblaydia 2 2 0 0 8 2 +6 6
The Pazhujeb Islands 2 2 0 0 7 2 +5 6
Novapsolu 3 1 1 1 6 8 -2 4
Minilla Island 2 0 1 1 4 5 -1 1
Lovisa 3 0 0 3 1 9 -8 0 E


Group B P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Kiryu-shi 3 2 0 1 7 4 +3 6
Elves Security Forces 2 1 1 0 6 1 +5 4
Candelaria and Marquez 2 1 1 0 4 1 +3 4
Geisenfried 2 1 0 1 2 4 -1 3
Sorthern Northland 3 0 0 3 2 11 -9 0 E


Group C P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Popay 3 2 0 1 8 5 +3 6
St Samuel 2 2 0 0 4 2 +2 6
Az-cz 2 2 0 0 3 1 +2 6
Krytenia 2 0 0 2 3 6 -3 0
The Islands of Qutar 3 0 0 3 2 6 -4 0 E


Group D P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Alversia 2 2 0 0 4 1 +3 6
Kura Pelland 3 1 1 1 1 1 0 4
Milchama 3 1 1 1 5 6 -1 4
Oliverry 2 0 1 1 3 4 -1 1
Jeruselem 2 0 1 1 0 1 -1 1

The team were training hard on the field as they had the bye. Someone had told them this was a nice little overseas holiday with nice girls. Well, they had the nice girl with Dazza Dallas but it was a lot of work ... and not much of a holiday at all.

Dazza Dallas had a strange way of training. She sat on the bench reading magazines looking like she wasn't paying any attention to the team but if anyone was slacking around, they got shouted at. She appointed two of team to help run the training session as there was no assistance coach as there would have in a World Cup.

Some complained the training was too hard, but Dazza told them to stop being a bunch of girls which stopped the complaining as they were just unfit and lacked match fitness. A girl telling men they were girls was not dignified. Dazza didn't slack around all day, she did carted around all the drinks and spent quite a bit of time explaining "tactics" which was rather foreign to these young players.

They finally worked out what all the arm waving and drawing squiggly lines on a whiteboard by the coach was all about. They didn't mind all the arm waving, it made the coach go "wobbly" which was exciting for them.

"Hey look"

"What? Did we play Az-cz yet because if not I don't care"

"Well ummm.... we did lose today"

"Fuck! how? we're better than them"

"Oh no in U21 soccer, we're 1-1-1"

"That's decent"

"Yeh, I know"

"Whose good this generation?"

"Lemme see ummm....... Tavaris Miller looks good he scored today, and he got an assist in the first game. Our center forwards of Kery Cork and Marcus Rice look like they might be able to make the leap soon. Our defense though looks a little young and inexperienced, I don't know what to make of them"

"Maybe I can help"

"Ok and how?"

"Lemme watch this next game"

"That sounds good"

"Just one more thing"

"Yes"

"Did our baseball team really lose"

"Yes"

"Fuckers, they suck, fucking Hegaboom he knows nothing we need a new manager, new players, new everything. Goddamnit. What idiots"

"Let's focus on the football"

"Sounds good it might be less frustrating"

"I doubt it"

"Good enough for me"

Pazhujebam Eenadu
(Pazhujebis Today)

Jaime Oberlander: The Exclusive Interview
The following is an interview conducted by Eenadu reporter Dakh Rhara, with Pazhujeb Islands National Team Manager Jaime Oberlander.

Dakh Rhara: Welcome, Mr. Oberlander.

Jaime Oberlander: Thanks.

DR: I'm sure you're enjoying your time at home during your first days as manager of a foreign national team.

JO: Sure am. I've visited with some family and spent some time with friends. It's been nice, but I take this job seriously.

DR: Now you have visited the Pazhujebs since your appointment, correct?

JO: That's right, I've just bought a nice seaside villa on the eastern side of the Zahuj Peninsula... it's not too remote but it's also cozy.

DR: How have you enjoyed your time spent on our Islands so far?

JO: Well there are a lot of negative stereotypes about Pazhujebis, but all in all I think I've been pretty warmly welcomed.

DR: Could be because everyone knows you're the national team coach...

JO: Could be...

DR: Now, are you excited to face a former squad selection in Apollina Iakovakis? What are your thoughts on her?

JO: She's brilliant. I was in competition with her to get this job, and if PIFA had awarded it to her I wouldn't have batted an eyelash. She'll be an adult squad manager very soon.

DR: This is an extremely important game, with Starblaydia and The Pazhujeb Islands level on points. How do you approach this knowing that people of your nationality will fill Foundation Road today, all supporting your opponent?

JO: Well it is important, and it may very well be the match of the group stage, but I'm going to approach it just like any other match. We have to play a courageous defensive game, because I don't think we'd survive a shootout with the Starblaydis. But if we can shut down Hinkonnen and Lii Chong-Sun I think our style of possession football can pull us through. Mark my words, against any defense in the world, Chaya Vuhumkara can be a threat on the break. But he can't get discouraged. We need to stay on our lines, not make any mistakes, and most importantly, we need the first goal. Those are the facts.

DR: Any strategies for the upcoming Baptism of Fire?

JO: Dakh, I'm just focusing on the Di Bradini Cup.

DR: You think you might draw Starblaydia again for the Baptism?

JO: Again, I'm not looking that far ahead, Dakh.

DR: All right. How soon do you see the Purple Sea Urchins developing into a World Cup-caliber squad?

JO: Umm... well, this squad has talent. I don't have to tell any Pazhujebis that and I don't think I have to tell anyone who's been following this cup; we've played fantastically; I've been really pleased. I can't put any numbers on it, because so much of this game is just plain luck. But I'd like to see us in the World Cup with myself as the manager. That would be a goal. That would be a big goal.

DR: How's that purple coat you're wearing treating you?

JO: <grins> It's the only color I look good in, Dakh.

DR: All right. Thanks so much, Mr. Oberlander.

JO: Thank you.

St Samuel 2-1 Popay

After a good start to there Di Bradini Cup campaign against Qutar, the next challenge was against Popay. A tough opposition who had gained 6 points from there first two games.

St Samuel went behind one nil early conceeding a weak goal that should have been cleared, but a poor clearance was jumped on by the Popay striker who punished St Samuel for the mistake.

The Latin Crusaders piled on the pressure but were unable to equalise against the group leaders Popay. St Samuel had to wait until the second half for there opener and it was worth the wait, for in the 48th minute, Di Helana picked up the ball from 30 yards out, rounded one defender and then curled a perfect shot which gave the keeper no chance from 25 yards out.

Almost immediatly St Samuel were back on the advance and after a period of 10 minutes worth of attacking, St Samuel got there second when Salvatore Rocka hit a low hard cross across the face of the goal, which Atalanta lunged himself at, and managed to get a foot to the ball and direct the cross in to make it 2-1.

Popay were by no means out of the contest and came close on a number of occasions to equalizing, but St Samuel rode the storm and by the time of the final whistle were celebrating there second win.

St Samuel prepare now for there third fixture against Krytenia, who are yet to pick up any points and with three teams on 6 points, Az-cz, Popay and St Samuel, a win is imperitive.

Atalanta 2
Rocka 1
Di Helana 1

Popayen Sports

Popay fall to the Crusaders

After a great start to the cup, Popay came back down with a bump today with a well challanged 2-1 loss to St.Samuel last night.

It wasn't a total case of that St.Samuel domanting the whole game, in fact, it was Popay who scored first blood, with a poor, and very uncharistic, mistake from St.Samuel 31 minutes in, allowing Maranesi to punish them easily, bring his torniment total up to 5 goals.

The Latin Crusaders piled on the pressure but were unable to equalise against the group leaders Popay. St Samuel had to wait until the second half for there opener and it was worth the wait, for in the 48th minute, Di Helana picked up the ball from 30 yards out, rounded one defender and then curled a perfect shot which gave the keeper no chance from 25 yards out.

Almost immediatly St Samuel were back on the advance and after a period of 10 minutes worth of attacking, St Samuel got there second when Salvatore Rocka hit a low hard cross across the face of the goal, which Atalanta lunged himself at, and managed to get a foot to the ball and direct the cross in to make it 2-1, and Popay where outplayed and outclassed by the end.

However, strange as it may sound, Popay manged to stay on top of the group but they are now in the hands of the god of maths. It works like this: If Popay win or draw their next game against Az-cz, then they have a very good chance of going through to the next round. If they lose, then they have to hope St.Samual lose both their games. The fact is, Popay are now in a very precarious position right now, but there is still a chance of going through. Popay's next game against Az-cz will be tough but a draw would be beyond there wildest dreams.

Match Satistics
Goals: {Maranesi (Popay) 31'} {Di Helana (St.Samuel) 48'}{Atalanta (St.Samuel) 58'}
Bookings: None
Fouls: Popay (2) St.Samuel (2)
Possesion: Popay (40%) St.Samuel (60%)
Shots: Popay (4) St.Samuel (7)


Table after MD3
Group C P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Popay 3 2 0 1 8 5 +3 6
St Samuel 2 2 0 0 4 2 +2 6
Az-cz 2 2 0 0 3 1 +2 6
Krytenia 2 0 0 2 3 6 -3 0 OUT
The Islands of Qutar 3 0 0 3 2 6 -4 0 OUT

Getting on Top
Training match against Lovisa

Apollina Iakovakis made nine changes to her side that defeated Novapsolu, leaving only Right-Back Jae Chang-hwa and Jaime Gomes in against Lovisa. The Lovisans had already lost twice and just scored a single goal in their Di Bradini Cup campaign.

Starblaydia lined up with van Agmark; Chang-hwa, Kaneda, Matranga, Rivolli; Gomes, Oscar, Karinha, Djibroné; Quaresma and Torino. As the game progressed, substitute goalkeeper Eduardo De Rooij as well as youngsters Jack Stafador, a defensive midfielder, and female striker Lubii all made appearances, with the rest of the Starting Eleven sitting on the bench and cheering them on. Manager Iakovakis was laid open to charges of not taking the Lovisans seriously, of putting a second team out in an act of disrespect.

"That's not the case at all, we have a crunch match which could decide who tops this group and avoids someone like the Valanora in the Quarter-Finals. We all know how tough the Lovisans play, and I was hoping to avoid any injuries and yellow cards for my players."

Disrespectful or not, Starblaydia's younger and more raw-looking side still managed to defeat the Lovisans and inflict elimination on the still win-less Europeans. Eighteen year-old Raphael Torino bagged his second Under-21 goal - adding to the winner he scored against Az-cz in the Quarter-Final of the Justantina Cup - in the thirty-second minute. Nuno Quaresma also came close that half, forcing a body save from point-blank range by the Lovisan goalie.

In the second half, young Karinha made her mother, Talenii Karo, proud as she netted her first goal from the offensive midfield position. The ex-Starblaydi international was in the stands to watch her daughter play. Karo and Iakovakis actually played in midfield together at the 7th Women's World Cup in Noremark, so perhaps Karo had some inside information that her daughter was going to start in this match. The final goal that killed off any Lovisan challenge came with three minutes to go from young starlet Lubii. The Iskara Daii youth player came on for Quaresma and finished well, dropping her shoulder and scoring with her left foot, slotting the ball past the keeper for her first international goal.

Starblaydia's next match will be against their former mentor: Jaime Oberlander has managed both the Starblaydia national team and the Under-21s themselves and now he comes head to head with one of his former pupils in Iakovakis. Much has been said and written about the up-coming match and despite the Sea Urchin's lack of experience they sit joint-top of Group A alongside Starblaydia with an identical record bar a single less goal scored.

The Islander's have the 'home' kit for the match, but despite both teams being notable for their similar shades of purple, their should be no kit conflict between the purple and black of the Urchins and the mostly-white with a splash of purple of Starblaydia. The conflict on the pitch, however, should be a very interesting one to watch.

Final score from Foundation Road.
Starblaydia 3 - 0 Lovisa
(Torino 32, Karinha 61, Lubii 87) - (None)

The superkids second trip to Starblaydia was not going as swimmingly as the first. Back then they had matured enough to be good footballers, but they were still kids so listened to instructions and didn't worry about results. Now as teenagers they were out of control. They didn't like to take orders, they didn't practice, their friendships were barely holding together as there was infighting for lead roles on the squad, which came with endorsements and the pressure related to that. There were also regular teen squabbles, and talking behind people's backs and aborted couplings and all the regular stuff that goes along with being an adolescent. So with all of that stuff being done in the popcorn cooker that is an international soccer tournament it was amazing none of the kids had been caught having sex or doing blow or any other major scandal. And totally unsuprisingly the soccer team suffered.

Playing against Krytenia, a former power but now a nation that was just starting to get back into the swing of world cup soccer the team put up an abysmal performance. Based on experience, talent and so on, the kids were expected to dominate the match. But they barely bothered to show up. Krytenia were better from the opening whistle to the last but the Gnomes somehow found a 1-0 victory. Only a fluke own goal allowed the team to move to six points.

That led to great perplexion for the fans back home who had no idea what was going on with the kids. The parents knew that if they were going to keep the whole thing from unravelling they'd have to work their asses off.

Up and Down Play For Kiryu-shi Youth

By Rebecca Doig

Tabeck, Starblaydia After their opening day win over St. Samuel, the Kiryu-shi U-21 squad traveled to the city of Tabeck in Starblaydia for their next two matches, first facing Candelaria And Marquez, then going after Geisenfried. It seems as if the young team has yet to find an identity going forward in this cup, as their play is very sporadic and unpredictable. They play some great football for a half, and then play miserable for the next half. This manifested itself with a shutout, three nil loss to Candelaria And Marquez, and then a shutout, three nil win over Geisenfried. In fact, in their three matches, Kiryu-shi has not had a game which was decided by anything less than three goals. Blowouts all around for the youngsters.

____Candelaria And Marquez showed some amazing skill in their victory over Kiryu-shi. Although we battled and fought, especially early on, CAD’s defense held strong, and then they provided several extraordinary efforts to put points on the scoreboard. The first, surprisingly, came from defender Özkan Yalçin, who tore through the Kiryu-shi midfield with the ball, and after a brilliant exchange with Therice Carls, scored the first goal of the match with a long, deflected shot that froze keeper Jonathon Geofrey. CAD went ahead with that goal in the 23rd minute, and never looked back. There were certain moments in the next half hour of play or so in which Kiryu-shi looked like they would score; they were so close to tying the game several times, but CAD held strong. They went on to add on two more goals in the second half, the first coming in the 60th minute when Ben Edwards put up a magnificent volley perfectly placed into the corner of the net for a beautiful, stunning goal. Just thirteen minutes later, Reiban Okeke’s cross found Joe Cunningham in front of the net, and Cunningham converted to close out the scoring and the match. It was really not a great show of football from Kiryu-shi, while the CAD side really shined.

____Against Geisenfried, Kiryu-shi played pretty well, combining accurate passes with good timing and solid defending, letting Kiryu-shi score early and keep their lead throughout the match. Midfielder Miguel Fantuzzi scored the first goal after a beautifully executed one-two with Samantha Woodward found him in the penalty area relatively unmarked. His shot put Kiryu-shi up in the 13th minute, and they kept on adding in the goals. Kazuko Machihara scored in the 23rd and 41st minutes, her third and fourth goals of the tournament. Neither goal came from a great individual effort, rather, she used her teammates passes to set her up in good position to score and then converted her opportunities using solid footwork. Kiryu-shi ended the half up three nil. They focused on defending their lead in the second half, and although Geisenfried grew cagey and wild in their attempts to close the deficit, Kiryu-shi kept up the zero on defense for their first shutout of the tournament.

____One interesting statistic exemplifies the inconsistency of Kiryu-shi’s play thus far. In the first half of the three matches, Kiryu-shi has outscore their opponents six to one, and have scored six out of their seven total matches. In the second half, they have been outscored three to one. Now, it’s only been three matches, but it does show some sort of lack of concentration. The young players can’t seem to keep up their focus for a full 90 minutes. Part of the blame may fall on the coaching staff, and Kiryu-shi will have to improve this facet of their team if they hope to advance into the next round of the tournament. In fact, this upcoming match against former U21 champions Elves Security Forces might be a must-win game for Kiryu-shi. Although they head their group by two points, Kiryu-shi only has one game to play, while the two teams below them both have two games remaining. A win over currently second place ESF will mean that Kiryu-shi will most likely make it into the next portion of the tournament, which would be a great boost for the Kiryu-shi squad. The only team eliminated from Group B is Sorthern Northland, who couldn’t quite recover from their opening day loss to Kiryu-shi, and have limped along with an 0-3 record.

Alversian success marred by injury


The success of Alversia's second match was overshadowed by a serious injury to centre-back Ciaran Reid.

The 20 year old was injured after an hour of play by a particularly rough tackle that saw him stretched off. Coach, Matthew McGleenan later confirmed that he had broken his ankle

"Unfortuneatly, it will rule him out of the rest of the tournament and may miss the start of the Alversian SuperLeague. We hope he has a speedy recovery and that he returns to the sport soon"

It was a severe dampaner on what had been a spectacular match from the young Alversians which saw them take a 2-0 lead into half time with goals from Kevin Corrigan and Joey Jordan.

After the restart and Ciaran Reid's injury, Alversia looked shakey and Milchama were able to take full advantage, getting a goal back to make for a tense last ten minutes for the Alversian supporters.

However, the match was left in no doubt with two minutes to go when Kevin Corrigan slotted home a one-on-one to seal the match and gain his third goal of the tournament.

Overall Alversia looked the more confident team although Ciaran Reid's injury will shake them, they have more than enough experience and strength on the team with the likes of veterans Justin O'Hagan and Eoin Patterson and newcomers like James McNally to take his place.

Minor injuries to David Comisky and Sean Parks also rule them out for the next match although the depth of the Alversian team should assure victory

Proposed team for next match

{Cillian Reid (C)}

{Michael Reynolds}

{Justin O'Hagan} {Cathal O'Neil}

{Niall Toal} { Connor Burns} {Colin McCelland} {David McCurry}

{Joey Jordan} {James Donnelly}

{Kevin Corrigan}

Matchday Four Scores:
Group A
The Pazhujeb Islands 2-1 Starblaydia
Minilla Island 0-2 Lovisa

Group B
Candelaria And Marquez 5-0 Giesenfried
Elves Security Forces 0-2 Kiryu-shi

Group C
Krytenia 0-2 St Samuel
Az-cz 2-3 Popay

Group D
Jeruselem 3-1 Oliverry
Alversia 2-0 Kura-Pelland

Matchday Four Tables:
Group A P W D L GF GA GD Pts
The Pazhujeb Islands 3 3 0 0 9 3 +6 9 Q
Starblaydia 3 2 0 1 9 4 +5 6
Novapsolu 3 1 1 1 6 8 -2 4
Lovisa 4 1 0 3 3 9 -6 3 E
Minilla Island 3 0 1 2 4 7 -3 1 E


Group B P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Kiryu-shi 4 3 0 1 9 4 +5 9 Q
Candelaria and Marquez 3 2 1 0 9 1 +8 7
Elves Security Forces 3 1 1 1 6 3 +3 4
Geisenfried 3 1 0 2 2 9 -7 3 E
Sorthern Northland 3 0 0 3 2 11 -9 0 E


Group C P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Popay 4 3 0 1 10 5 +5 9 Q
St Samuel 3 3 0 0 6 2 +4 9
Az-cz 3 2 0 1 5 4 +1 6
The Islands of Qutar 3 0 0 3 2 6 -4 0 E
Krytenia 3 0 0 3 3 8 -5 0 E


Group D P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Alversia 3 3 0 0 6 1 +5 9 Q
Jeruselem 3 1 1 1 3 2 +1 4
Milchama 3 1 1 1 5 6 -1 4
Kura Pelland 4 1 1 2 1 3 -2 4 E
Oliverry 3 0 1 2 4 6 -2 1 E

Krytenia 0-2 St Samuel

St Samuel celebrate there third consecutive victory in the Di Bradini Cup with a two nil win over Krytenia. The Latin Crusaders knew that they needed a nothing less than the three points as there final group game is against the top seed of the group Az-cz.

Some good early chances were created by the two St Samuel frontmen, Arquilla and Atalanta, but the two strikers, who have formed a formidable strike partnership, were unable to find the back of the net.

It took a thunderous effort from Salvatore Rocka to finally beat the Krytenia keeper on the 38th minute. De Mazouna was bought down on the edge of the box and Rocka took the resulting free kick, choosing to go for power over placing the ball and the rocket of a shot managed to find a gap in the Krytenia wall and beat the keeper to give the Latin Crusaders a one nil lead going into the half time break.

Atalanta got himself on the score sheet early on in the second half when Arquilla controlled a long ball on his chest and then without looking, flicked the ball with the back of his heel to Atalanta, showing just another instance of there great partnership, and the resulting shot from Sebastien Atalanta hit the post and went in on the 49th minute.

Krytenia never really bothered St Samuel keeper, Luca Biortello, who didn't have much to do in the second half other than collect the ball from a poor corner kick by Krytenia.

Luther Della Rosa came close to making it three nil on the 87th minute, but his volley was somehow stopped by the Krytenia keeper.

At the conclusion of the match, the St Samuel team were shocked to hear the announcement that Az-cz had been defeated 3-2 by Popay which made the final group match an intense battle between the top two seeds of Group C. A draw will be enough to see St Samuel progress, but a defeat by more than two goals will see St Samuel miss out on qualification on goal difference. The situation in Group C has certainly lined up the final group fixture to be an exciting and tense match. The Di Bradini Cup has become very important to the Samuelonian's back home and many have made the journey to Starblaydia, showing just how much the tournament means to the Latin Crusaders.

Man of the match Salvatore Rocka

Another rock solid performance by the Under 21 captain and Marienburg United midfielder. The youngsters fine form for his club and the under 21's has certainly proven his case for a place in the St Samuel 1st team squad. Rocka dominated the St Samuel midfield and his tough tackling and ball distribution proved too much for Krytenia.

Goalscorers
Atalanta 3
Rocka 2
Di Helana 1

There was cheer in the Jeruselem dressing room, with the coach not being grumpy for a change - more schoolgirly.

Dazza:
"That's it team. See the difference? Did you learn something? That's the difference winner and losers. It's all the the head. If you go one thinking about losing, guess what happens - you will lose. You go out thinking about how to win, then it might happen. See what happens if you work together as a team. Things go your way and you feel confidence you can doing it again. And no one slacked off! That's the future, kiddies. Your future is in the next game. We're in it still, ONE MORE win. Just win, it's a final for us as we can't let things slip now. This means more training and more commitment to the coach, because it will just get harder from then. We play better and better teams who are here to win like us. In the knockouts, there is no second chance. winners win and losers go home! That's all from me. Today was good day but it can get better and you can get better too."

Dazza walked off singing with voice more like a little girl than a middle aged woman. The team wished more coaches looked like her as she skipped off despite a small limp from the bad knee. They wondered if they would get an video night like Jeru FC did should they make to the knockouts. Know what sort of videos their coach liked, it was all good.

Popayen Sports

The Upset of the Century!

Absoloute joy engulfed the city of Popay today, after a heroic 3-2 win over Az-cz today. However, it was maybe lady luck that smiled on Popay for this win today, after some lucky events going their way.

The match didn't start well for Popay, with them almost conceding 2 goals within 10 minuets, both of them just skimming the bar. After 13 minuets of pressure by Az-cz, Popay managed to get a break and after some wonderful football by Coco on the wing he managed to cross the ball in and after a huge scramble, the ball seemed to take a defelcetion of the boot of Christiano and into the back of the net. By no means was it a good goal, but a goal is a goal and Popay took it, sending the supporters into a frenzy.

The Popayen goal didn't last though, after 7 minuets of relentless Az-cz pressure, Popay finaly gave way, and Az-cz scored a simple tap in by Juan Valdez, after great passing that went around all the defenders. After this, Az-cz seemed to flow with confidence, getting forward and pressuring Popay at every oppotinty, however Az-cz couldn't convert again in the first half. The second half, started as much as the first left off. Az-cz kept pressuring and soon it payed of. On 56 minuets, Juan Valdez scored his second, a supurb shot from the outside of the box. it looked like that Popay were down and out.

It seemed that way intill 78 minuets when an Az-cz corner took a delfection of Jonny Pye's shin which cleared it halfway up the feild, and with most of Az-cz's players in Popay's half ment Az-cz where short at the back. Arthur Maranesi took this to his advanatage and tried to get foward, it seemed he wouldn't make it intill ball took a rugby ball like bounce right to him. Surpised as anyone, he got another peice of luck when trying to pass the Az-cz defender when the defender tripped on a turfed up peice of pitch, as Maranesi tried to get up the pitch as quickly as possible, Az-cz defedners got back. Fustrated, Maranesi just balsted the ball at goal, it was easily intercepted by an Az-cz player, but it took an unlucky delfection. Luckly for Az-cz, it hit the post, and as it rocketed clear another Az-cz who got back was in it's way, even when he tried his best to get clear of the ball, there was nothing he could do. It cliped his back and delfected into the goal, to the agonay of the Az-cz keeper. Everyone was shocked. Maranesi didn't even celebrate, he had tried to get back to defend again and only after a cheer from the crowd he turned round and started to celbrate.

Popay's luck contined to roll, after another bount of Az-cz pressure. A Popayen free-kick was balsted foward and it managed to fall to the un-marked Coco, who blasted it into the back of the net, and blasted Popay to the next round. Jublitation ensued.

Satatisics
Goals: {Christiano (Popay) 13'} {Juan Valdez (Az-cz) 20' 56'}{Flo-Ma (Az-cz) O.G:78'}{Coco (Popay) 87'}
Bookings: {Brown (Popay) 56'}
Fouls: Popay (7) Az-cz (4)
Possesion: Popay (37%) Az-cz (63%)
Shots: Popay (5) Az-cz (7)


Table after MD4
Group C P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Popay 4 3 0 1 10 5 +5 9
St Samuel 3 3 0 0 6 2 +4 9
Az-cz 3 2 0 1 5 4 +1 6
The Islands of Qutar 3 0 0 3 2 6 -4 0 OUT
Krytenia 3 0 0 3 3 8 -5 0 OUT

Pazhujebam Eenadu
(Pazhujebis Today)

Translated from Pazhujebi to English by Jhumenakhan Cha

Sudhir Phuturej: The Exclusive Interview
Today we interview one of the world's foremost entomologists; Dr. Sudhir Phuturej. We visited with him from his laboratories outside of Vuke. He provided us with a "translated" interview with now-famous cockroach "Edward." Our reporter, Dakh Rhara, conducted the interview.

Dakh Rhara: Hello Dr. Phuturej. Thank you very much for providing us with this interview.

Sudhir Phuturej: You bet.

DR: Now, what can you tell us about your work?

SP: Nothing you haven't already read from the articles published in your own newspaper. What I really think you'd like to do is talk to Edward.

DR: Uh... okay.

SP: Go for it.

DR: Do I just... like will he...

SP: Just go ahead, I'll translate.

DR: Uh, okay. Um, well, Edward, how... uh... how do you feel about being the centre of all this controversy?

Edward (Though We At Eenadu Think It Was Just Sudhir Phuturej Shitting Us): I don't mind in the least bit! If we can open up a new dialogue between humans and insects, I would be the least important character... and that's what I'm hoping for.

DR: Great... um... okay... so, what do you like to do on weekends?

E(TWAETIWJSPSU): Oh, you know, hissing at children is pretty fun. They flip out and cry, I get a kick out of that. I think one of my favorite things though is football. I love watching my football.

DR: You... you watch football?

E(TWAETIWJSPSU): Sure! My favorite is watching the national team! I've been extremely excited about them lately; they're putting on quite the performance in the Di Bradini Cup, eh?

DR: Yeah. Yup. Uh-huh.

E(TWAETIWJSPSU): Yeah I've watched all the games, we've looked sharp.

DR: You've what? We don't have television in this country.

E(TWAETIWJSPSU): I know. But you see, cockroaches have telepathic powers. I can communicate live telepathically with other cockroaches, specifically ones in Starblaydia who are watching the match right now. It's great! Like satellite TV, but better!

DR: Right. Okay, well, this is a total bunch of crap, so we'll be leaving now-

E(TWAETIWJSPSU): Oh! One last thing! Do you mind if I throw in a prediction for today's U21 - Novapsolu match?

DR: Whatever, fine.

E(TWAETIWJSPSU): I think our strikers will come to play and we'll take three points from a close one to sweep the group stage. Final score versus Novapsolu: 3-2 Sea Urchins.

DR: Okay, I'm leaving now. Have fun with your cockroaches, wacko.

SP: Thank you!!!

Hosts And Top Seeds Fall To Mighty Urchins!
Starblaydia's reputable U21 national team fell two one to the unheralded Pazhujeb Islands squad. The match was fast-paced and thrilling; plenty of opportunities for either side gave the fans at Foundation Road quite a bit of entertainment. But ultimately there was nothing fun to watch for the thousands of Starblaydi fans on hand: former Stayblaydia NT coach Jaime Oberlander left with a smile on his face and hope for a fabulous future.

Action was fast and furious in the first minutes of the match, with both sides mounting all out attacks. However, Vekaj Amutarrad made two fantastic saves in a row to stone the opponents, and in the 9th minute a counterattack from sensation Xusannikara Ghur gave the Purple Sea Urchins a one nil lead.

Starblaydia struck back in 38th minute, however. After winning a free kick in a good position, Lii Chong-Sun ran a fantastic dummy that fooled Semhar Idarha, leaving Alfonso Di Angelo to score in front of his home fans in Jhanna (Di Angelo plays for Foundation Road residents Iskara Daii). One all.

However, the second half saw the Pazhujeb Islands tighten up on defense, as they have shown they can do over the last three matches. Allowing no give room and a brilliant offside trap, the back line played extremely well, and gave the offense a great deal of possession. It was only a matter of time before Huvem Tushambanda found room on the right flank, and after a one two with Pav Panithaj, Tushambanda dribbled the keeper and tapped the ball into an empty net, recalling almost exactly the first goal that Tushambanda scored against Minilla Island on matchday one. Tushambanda's tournament total has now risen to a surprising three, considering he is naturally considered to be a right or center back.

The massive shock victory brings the Urchins clean to the top of Group A and clinches a spot in the knockout phase. Starblaydia will likely not forget this: being shamed by one of their own national heroes in front of their own fans, no one would be skeptical about the possibility of these two sides meeting again in the final.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/the_pazhujeb_islands.png 2 - 1 http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/starblaydia.png

Pazhujeb Islands Goalscorers:
Ghur 9, Tushambanda 57

Starblaydia Goalscorers:
Di Angelo 38

Pazhujeb Islands Cautions:
none

Starblaydia Cautions:
Jae Chang-hwa 77, Stafador 83

Pazhujeb Islands Sendings Off:
none

Starblaydia Sendings Off:
none

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Candelaria And Marquez.png Candelaria And Marquez Under-21s 5
Vélez pen 17, Corradini 25, Cunningham 31, 57 and 73

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/geisenfried.png Geisenfried Under-21s 0

___________________

“Dan… Who was it who said ‘Never trust a country with an eagle for an emblem’?”

“Um… Edward II? Prime Minister Birch? Plato?”

“Yeah… Probably a Greek fella, now you come to mention it.”

“Technically, Mr. Hernández, the C&M twenty pence coin depicts a Peterson’s Sea Eagle being all majestic. I think there might even be one flitting about on the coat of arms, actually.”

“Thus proving my point…”

Lyndon Hernández, Candelaria And Marquez Minister for Rational Thought, watched the pictures coming in from Starblaydia through weary eyes. Just twenty minutes had gone by, and the soaring eagle of Geisenfried had dive-bombed in the manner of a gannet. C&M were one-nil up, utterly dominating the young stars of a former World Cup quarter-finalist and tournament co-host. What is more, Hernández knew it was going to get even worse. The feed from Tabeck was coming in an hour late, to give the Ministry’s – and TV1’s – CGI bods enough time to remove the dwarves from the crowd and replace them with a mixture of humany Starblaydis; brightly-coloured, racially diverse C&M fans with a variety of rapidly Photoshopped banners; and several extra stands of suitably austere Germanic chaps. There were more moustaches than a questionable analogy.

“You’re saying it ends up five-nil?” the Minister asked again.

Daniel Martino, his principal private secretary, nodded. Again. “Yes, Minister. Hat-trick for little Joe Cunningham – that’s five in three for him so far – and a long-range thwack from Corradini. And the penalty Rául Vélez put away just then.”

“Please don’t tell me that’s not the biggest scoreline in the tournament, Dan.”

“Equal best. The elves also put five passed the Sortherners for no return.” He looked down at his notes. “Those rather scary-looking new guys, the Pachooshebites–”

“Pazhujeb Islands. I’d have though you of all people’d be able to get your lips around that.”

“Sorry. They beat Lovisa five to one… And Starblaydia were five-two against Novapsolu, but they are the hosts. I think it’s fair to say this’ll be considered pretty bloody impressive. Sorry.”

“Mm. Could they still bugger it up, technically?”

“They’d have to try pretty hard. The elves have got this shower in their last game, so that’s probably three points in the bag. But even if Donnelly’s lot lost to the Sortherners–”

“Which isn’t going to happen, surely?”

“Not on current form, no. And regrettably their semi-sort-of-not-actually-dictator seems a rather pleasant sort. Too busy playing football himself to worry about boiling anyone alive if they don’t emerge with at least some honour intact. At any rate, even if Donnelly’s lot loose and the ESF win, there’s still the little matter of a plus five goal difference between ‘us’ and ‘them’…”

“Jolly good,” Hernández muttered. “Alright, spare me my blushes here. I’ve been too busy trying to work out how the hell we deal in the Harmony with a country fielding a mobile geometric shape and a woman with a lion’s undercarriage. And a meatball. So, if, heaven forbid, they do qualify, who’s up in the quarter-final?”

“Not sure yet. The aforementioned Pashoshebtebtebtebteb Islands, probably. Could be Starblaydia though.”

Hernández gave a little prayer, in a Madonna stylie. “An honourable exit to the hosts in the quarter-finals. Superb.”

“Or… it could yet be Novapsolu.”

“…”

“Sorry, sir. But as aliens go, it could be worse.”

“So could’ve the Holocaust, Dan. We had to invent a whole bloody country to replace them as World Cup co-hosts, for heaven’s sake.”

“We could just recycle Ulospavon again? I was rather proud of it, really.”

“Dan, you gave all their political leaders silly names.”

“No-one noticed, though, did they? And it all sparked off some really very interesting articles in the Herald concerning the juxtaposition between Herr Reibylokz’s Compassionate Fascist Party and the often vicious Polliwog Rebellion of Aidauda Tenkatz.”

“Conceit aside Dan, it is amazing, isn’t it? That the good people of the Candelarias will buy that nonsense, but saying that the Novapsoluans are just spectacularly deluded won’t fly.”

“Quite, sir. Who was it who said ‘People will believe a big lie sooner than a little one’?”

“I’m guessing it wasn’t Plato, at any rate.”

“Thing is, Lyndon…” Daniel seemed slightly perturbed. “Aliens aside, is it really such a bad thing that the Candelariasian people have a sporting triumph to smile about once in a while? I do understand your reasoning, really, but…”

“God, Dan, when you’ve got cold feet I know we’re in trouble.”

“I just wonder if it’s always entirely necessary.”

“Shaul Tibi and Alex Goldberg would argue with you.”

“To be fair, even Commissioner Villaverde isn’t convinced that their attack’s proximity in time to the Justantina Cup final defeat to Jeruselem isn’t something of a red herring. It was more likely to be homophobic, if anything.”

“Whatever, Dan. As far as the Candelariasian people are concerned they’re citizens of a small, average, thoroughly unassuming country and that’s the way it has to stay. The second the masses start to get ideas above our national station… It doesn’t bare thinking about. And besides, sooner or later they’ll expect full relations with a whole variety of unsuitable countries. And then the questions will start, and we don’t want that now, do we Dan?”

“Not when you put it like that, no. But I’m not sure what we can do. Sorthern Northland have got nothing to play for.”

“They’re playing us. It’s practically becoming a sibling rivalry these days. Still…”

“Are you musing, sir?”

“Ruminating. I haven’t finished me lunch yet, so it kills two birds with one stone.”

The pair watched vaguely as the Albrecht FC striker Cunningham exchanged quick passes with Reiban Okeke. A Geisenfried defender got his foot in, pushing the Small Blues striker off the ball. The dreadlocked Afro-Candelariasian managed to prettily skip past the same defender and rifle in a shot the goalkeeper spilled. Cunningham had the time to haul himself back to his feet and poke in C&M’s third.

“We could certainly get Edwards and Bailey and whatnot to say that that one was a fluke. And Corradini’ll never hit another one like that in his life.”

“The rest of Cunningham’s hat-trick was gorgeous, though. And the penalty was a stonewall decision.”

Hernández sighed. “Dan… See if you can’t bring up a Tabeck phone directory online. Or at least a list of local businesses. It looks as though we’re going to have to be all proactive again.”

____________________

The Albrecht Herald Online/Football/Breaking News

The CMASA has tentatively confirmed that eleven first-team players from the C&M Under-21 squad in Starblaydia are suffering from moderate alcohol poisoning.

Those who started the 5-0 drubbing of Geisenfried were celebrating their victory alongside a number of the Sorthern Northland team at a public house in the Starblaydi second city of Tabeck. Coach Lloyd Donnelly was not present, though his assistant Mick Lugo was on-hand at the Frozen Ferret and was quoted as saying that he had abstained from partaking in order to make sure his charges enjoyed only a modest tipple before returning to the team hotel. However, after half a glass of shandy; striker Joe Cunningham reported feeling seriously unwell, before goalkeeper Prince Mapleson and wing-back William Burgos experienced similar symptoms. Six of the players were taken to the local hospital, with one, as yet unnamed, believed to have remained unconscious and another suffering from continued respiratory difficulties.

Donnelly has so far declined to comment on the events of last night, but has named a starting XI against the Sortherners featuring eleven changes. Only two players – third-choice goalkeeper Murphy Matthews and midfielder Connor Mengucci (who appears to have been less affected by the problems of his team-mates) are named on the bench.

As a result, the XI for the game reads:

GK Felix Currey

DR Hugo Krstev
DC Steven Williams
DC Chris Ytterland
DL José Luis Sosa

MR Beck Ragab
MC Davey Fauske
MC Carroll Eriksson
ML Rueben Kennedy

F Robbie Shannon
F Jamie Rawlinson

Alversia Qualify!

Following the spectacular match against Milchama and the absence of several key players, many of Matthew McGleenan's critics were preparing for a fantastical misfire against 3rd Seeds Kura Pelland. In fact, they were proven to have been dramatically wrong with what was undoubtably Alversia's finest performance of the tournament so far.

Nervousness about the absence of Cairan Reid in the backline were proved completely unfounded as big Justin O'Hagan locked down his half of the field with Michael Reynolds sweeping aware whatever broke through

The first goal came just before half-time and was a fantastic piece of crisp one touch passes and crosses until Corrigan was able to coolly slot home the ball from all of two yards.

Alversia looked more confident in the second half and indeed they were rewarded with a second goal after 50 minutes of play. This was a completely solo effort as midfielder Niall Toal found the top corner from a beautifully lofted shot that had the crowd on their feet.

The match was brilliant and it is expected that several key players will be rested for the last match of the group in order to preserve match fitness and to allow the other players a run-out.

Expected team for next match

{Cillian Reid (C)}

{Michael Reynolds}

{Justin O'Hagan} {Eoin Patterson}

{Christopher Hagan} {James Donnelly} {Colin McCelland} {David McCurry}

{Joey Jordan} {Eoman McGeown}

{Kevin Corrigan}

Matchday Five Scores:
Group A
Novapsolu 1-3 The Pazhujeb Islands
Minilla Island 1-5 Starblaydia

Group B
Sorthern Northland 2-6 Candelaria And Marquez
Elves Security Forces 3-0 Geisenfried

Group C
The Islands of Qutar 0-0 Krytenia
Az-cz 1-2 St Samuel

Group D
Milchama 1-4 Jeruselem
Alversia 4-0 Oliverry

Matchday Five Tables:
Group A P W D L GF GA GD Pts
The Pazhujeb Islands 4 4 0 0 12 4 +8 12
Starblaydia 4 3 0 1 14 5 +9 9
Novapsolu 4 1 1 2 7 11 -4 4
Lovisa 4 1 0 3 3 9 -6 3
Minilla Island 4 0 1 3 5 12 -7 1


Group B P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Candelaria and Marquez 4 3 1 0 15 3 +12 10
Kiryu-shi 4 3 0 1 9 4 +5 9
Elves Security Forces 4 2 1 1 9 3 +6 7
Geisenfried 4 1 0 3 2 12 -10 3
Sorthern Northland 4 0 0 4 4 17 -13 0


Group C P W D L GF GA GD Pts
St Samuel 4 4 0 0 8 3 +5 12
Popay 4 3 0 1 10 5 +5 9
Az-cz 4 2 0 2 6 6 0 6
The Islands of Qutar 4 0 1 3 2 6 -4 1
Krytenia 4 0 1 3 3 8 -5 1


Group D P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Alversia 4 4 0 0 10 1 +9 12
Jeruselem 4 2 1 1 7 3 +4 7
Milchama 4 1 1 2 6 10 -4 4
Kura Pelland 4 1 1 2 1 3 -2 4
Oliverry 4 0 1 3 4 10 -6 1

QF1: The Pazhujeb Islands will play Kiryu-shi @ Hallad City Stadium, Hallad City - Hallad Reavers (49,000)
QF2: Candelaria And Marquez will play Starblaydia @ Iota "Big Eye" Arena, Penningworth - Penningworth United (82,000)
QF3: St Samuel will play Jeruselem @ Bekkside Arena, Tabeck - Tabeck FC (33,000)
QF4: Alversia will play Popay @ Victory Park, Vecchio - Vecchio Victors (48,000)

OOC: Starblaydia TG

RESERVED FOR MATCH INTERVIEW

The Jeruselem team were jubliant, after beating rivals Milchama 4-1 for the 2nd position in Group D. They didn't top the group but making it was good enough after a sluggish start with one loss and one draw. The team of no-good U21 teenage male deliquents was getting better under the guidance of super-coach Dazza Dallas.

Dazza was delirious like a schoolgirl with too much sugar in the system
"OH YEAH! See, you can play. We mean Oliverry and Milchama who are top class World Cup teams. I'm proud of you boys, sure you're still a bunch of immature classless punks but you can stop being that. You might have a future. Think, join a club - get lots of dosh and pickup lots of Dazza Dallas look-alikes. How does that sound? It's not far away, just a few more games. Oi, how about we all sit down and watch some videos! The only ones I have involve me in it, but ... I think that's what you guys want. Am I right?"

Team: "The coach is a hotty!"

Dazza:
"No, no. My daughter is a hotty. I'm growing too old for that, but doesn't stop me for some reason. It's video night but back to training tomorrow. I've got some nice videos for you to see. OK, let's all clean up and head out of here."

The team looked at the coach, she definitely wasn't old and ugly and she still had a nice shape to look at for her age, strutting around in her little slim business suits. They had mothers her age, but none of their mothers had the same glamour as the coach. They had coaches which were professionals but didn't have much character. Dazza didn't look like a real coach, more like the coach's girlfriend on the side.

The short woman with the nice body and squeaky schoolgirl voice had changed their lives.

Az-cz 1 vs St Samuel 2

St Samuel fans are celebrating a huge victory in Starblaydia after beating Az-cz under 21's 2-1 in what was a must win match. The result means that the Latin Crusaders qualify top of Group C.

St Samuel went down early when Az-cz scored after just 6 minutes, making the worst possible start. Things got even worse when St Samuel were reduced to 10 men after Nathim Oscararti was sent off for a second bookable offence in only the 25th minute.

St Samuel tried to battle back into the match but Az-cz proved too strong and the Latin Crusaders were lucky to go into the half time break at only one nil down.

St Samuel looked like a new team in the second half and anyone watching wouldn't have noticed that the Latin Crusaders were a man down. St Samuel's attacking play payed off in the 64th minute when Massimo Arquilla broke through the Az-cz defence to go one and one. Arquilla remained calm and slotted the ball home getting the equalizer.

Minutes later St Samuel went ahead when Atalanta's shot was parried and the ball fell to captain Salvatore Rocka, who volleyed the ball home in what was an unstoppable shot.

The Latin Crusaders held onto the one goal lead and after the whistle went, the young side began to celebrate there qualification. Around 9,000 Samuelonians had made the journey to Starblaydia to support there national Under 21 side and it is expected a further 5,000 will be travelling for the Quarter Final fixture.

St Samuel now face the huge task of Jeruselem in the Quarter Finals. Manager Luigi De Ribiera said "This was the worst possible opponent other than the hosts and we will have a real test against them. Jeruselem's under 21's have just found form and we are losing our five best players, Seth Justantinium, Luther Della Rosa, Sebastien Atalanta, Salvatore Rocka, and Marco Di Helana as they have received call ups to the first team for the Cup of Harmony. But I am happy that the side we have has the morale and quality to get us through to the semi finals."

Goalscorers
Atalanta 3
Rocka 3
Di Helana 1
Arquilla 1

Squad for the next fixture

GK: Luca Biortello
RB: Nathim Oscararti
CB: Georgi Di Santos
CB: Bruno Della Porcria
LB: Omar Nazzariam
RM: Frankie Della Porcia
CM: Leo Pertroubi
CM: Costas De Mazouna
LM: Carlos Van Alta
ATT: Massimo Arquilla
ATT: Oscar De Noutica

SGK: Louis Ripratchi
SCB: Jose Ferradia
SLM: Yasser Niobi
SATT: Mido Al Khady

A polyphonic version of the Chucklevision theme tune plays somewhere deep in the heart of central Albrecht; the disappointingly unforbidding capital of the Republic of Candelaria And Marquez. Lyndon Hernández MP, head of the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Rushmori Agricultural Subsidies and, less publicly, the Minister for Rational Thought, turns over in a half-sleep and answers it.

“Aaaughaghh…”

“Morning, Lyndon, sir. Are you asleep?”

“Yes.”

“Apologies.”

“Forget about it, Dan. You weren’t to know. I was shattered; couldn’t face another game. Besides, it was one-nil when I left it. That, uh, prematurely withered boy. And they were all over our second eleven so…”

“Yea… About that. There’s something you need to know, sir…”

_____________________

The Albrecht Herald
“We did it for William!”
By Tracker Edwards

What a difference a day makes. Well, three, technically, going by Time over there, or a matter of mere hours for those left in the Candelarias. But either way, it’s a long time in football and a period of time that surely represents the most dramatic in Candelariasian sporting history. You can forget your penalty shoot-out quarter-final Baptism of Fire defeats, your tight-as-anything play-off losses to former World Cup finalists, your exits in the Rugby World Cup knock-out stages. Or indeed anything the Small Blues’ adventures in St Samuel in recent months had to offer. For whatever happens to Lloyd Donnelly’s youngsters in this tournament’s remaining games; no-one will forget this.

What can have been going through the minds of eleven C&M players, knowing that their friends, team-mates and, indeed, rivals were for the most part in hospital, some perhaps clinging to the edge of life, while they had to take to the pitch. How on earth could Donnelly have found the composure to concentrate solely on this match. How, indeed, must have the Sorthern Northland players have felt, with their game plan ripped up with the presence of a totally different and for the most part unknown set of opposition players. It was the stuff of wonderment prior to kick-off. By the time the referee blew the final whistle, viewers could watch only in utter stupefaction.

Ironically, that was the very word. Some of the C&M players’ team-mates were on the bench, some in the stands. Some were still convalescing back at the team hotel. Three were still in Tabeck City Hospital and one, the 21-year-old Arrigo Portuguese wing-back William Burgos, was still yet to regain consciousness. We cannot know just how much of their team-mate’s plight the impromptu Small Blues line-up were made aware of. More than the rest of us, less than us? That one of their most bright and cheery comrades remained in a critical situation?

Certainly the secrecy in the camp was tight. Without wishing to blow my familial trumpet; I was able to talk briefly on the phone to Ben shortly prior to and after this match, despite being only half a mile from his current location. Thankfully he is well on the mend, and may even be able to start the next game, but he was reticent to talk for long regarding the events of the last few days. Given the various different countries and private businesses involved, it all may yet remain shrouded in vagueness and half-truths for some time to come. There is no suggestion of foul play on behalf of either the Sortherners or Starblaydis, and appears at this stage to represent merely a horrible accident. Ben isn’t choosing to dwell on the reasons and neither shall I. But it still beggars belief that the C&M second eleven were able to put their worries and wonderings behind them to play a football match.

The statistics were simple enough. The Valanorans were playing Geisenfried over in Hallad simultaneously, with the latter side unable now to qualify after their five-nil hammering at Candelariasian hands days before. As a result, a victory for Fabio Mannasuch’s side seemed almost inevitable. Donnelly’s boys knew they had to avoid defeat if possible, or at least keep the scoreline sensible. Even a loss could send them through if the ultimate goal difference was superior to the Eesseff’s. Yet Donnelly proved as brave as ever. While at Albrecht FC, few can deny he often was able to afford the league’s best players. Yet four titles in five years do not come without tactical nouse, the ability to spot a player, and sheer guts. He saw that Kiru-shi, a side already qualified for the knock-out stages and enjoying a bye day, had been disposed of by his Small Blues by dint of their greater daring-do. Even down to the bare bones, he felt he could marshal he troops to do the same here.

His troops, perhaps, still remained unconvinced as the walked on to the pitch. A lusty, hands-around-each others-shoulders, rendition of O, Sweet Nation seemed not quite enough to galvanise them. From the off they looked shaky, hesitant; and to their credit the Sortherners were unwilling to let them off the hook. Felix Currey’s goal was under threat from the first minute, and the Small Blues’ unbalanced midfield was being torn apart by Feng Shui and Ronaldo de Assizz de Mora. The pair combined twice to leave defender Steven Williams kicking at air, with Currey forced to be at full stretch. The unaccustomed 4-4-2 of C&M was clearly no match for that of Sorthern Northland, who were dashing forward at their usual full speed. Davey Fauske and Carroll Eriksson in the centre were desperately trying to help the ball out wide and encourage some counter-attacks, but Karl Volvic was dealing all too well with the inexperienced Reuben Kennedy and the left-footed Beck Ragab on the right was failing to get any crosses in.

An opening goal for SN was an inevitability, coming moments after the news that the Valanorans had scored filtered through. Shui had the ball on the left and jumped over the horrible challenge of Hugo Krstev to power into the box. Finding no space past Williams he passed to the Sortherners’ anonymous 17-year-old striker, who everyone seems to know is Haitian without being told first, which irritates me, frankly. At any rate, the youngster sent a sweet ball back to Shui, who had found a way past the C&M defence, and the left-winger scored.

But something was welling up inside the C&M players. Yes, they were still under the cosh. Yes, Shui and Jing Mao had forced saves again out of Currey. Yes, Chris Ytterland could well have been done for a hand ball in the box. But this ad libbed version of the Small Blues still had a mission. They were in danger of seeing their country crash out of the tournament after an undefeated start. And that would never do. And as the chants off “There’s only one William Burgos” began to ring out around the stadium, things started to happen.

Without any discernable change in formation or tactics, the previously struggling Small Blues began to gain the upper hand and push Kevaughn Ó Criomhthain’s side further and further back. A startled Sorthern Northland began to back off, and C&M players found themselves increasingly in control of the ball. Suddenly, it was no surprise when Sosa from the left-back position was able to run forward unmolested to feed Eriksson. The Castillo FC youngster elected to whack one past Jonny Sage for a stunning equaliser.

C&M’s vigour was well and truly renewed, and on the thirty-fifth minute they were ahead. Kennedy swung in a free-kick won from a Min Cho-Hi tackle, which Williams up from the back met with his head, again catching out Sage to leave the ball going smartly into the corner.

As Sorthern Northland deflated, Robbie Shannon and Jamie Rawlinson both missed chances prior to half-time. But with two substitutes on – including President O’Bagles himself – the Sortherners were in no mood to capitulate. No doubt drawing inspiration from their twice-victorious rugby side, they began to push forwards themselves and got a well-deserved equaliser on fifty-six through Jing’s well-timed run.

C&M reverted to a more route-one outlook, using Rawlinson’s height to their advantage. Soon they went ahead again, when the Cathedral City striker forced Ivar Gudjonsson into a careless challenge in the box. Rawlinson opted to step up and take the pen himself, sending a by now thoroughly cheesed-off goalkeeper Sage the wrong way.

And then it went all odd, as an untested group of C&M stars went ballistic. The fourth came again thanks to a Kennedy free-kick, which was flicked on by Sosa into the path of Eriksson. The teenager broke clear of his marker to smash hope his second of the game.

The Small Blues’ fifth had a certain element of fortune about it, ‘tis true, when Eriksson’s midfield partner Fauske capitalised on an awful melee in the box to stab home from close range. Replays suggested the presence of an arm involved, and the linesman flagged against giving the goal, but the referee saw no issues and gave it.

Fauske, like the rest of his team-mates, made little attempt at genuine celebration that his side were now clearly waltzing through as group winners, and the icing on the cake provided by Shannon’s shinned strike from another corner late on seemed an almost embarrassing embellishment to the scoreline. And while these players will never forget their six-goal haul, the best news of the afternoon came after the game as it became clear that all their stricken team-mates were on the road to recovery.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Candelaria And Marquez.png Candelaria And Marquez Under-21s 6
Eriksson 29 and 69, Williams 35, Rawlinson pen 62, Fauske 74, Shannon 86

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/sorthern northland.png Sorthern Northland Under-21s 2
Shui 15, Jing 56

_____________________

“…front page, sir. Probably statements in parliament. The words ‘plucky’, ‘brave’ and ‘courageous’ used a lot. And that’s just the broadsheets. I think the Mercury are doing a special sixteen-page pull-out, with another planned if ‘we’ somehow go and win the thing.”

“Arse. But it’s Starblaydia, you say? I mean, they’re awfully good, aren’t they? And at home.”

“And coming off the back of a five-one win themselves, mm. Damage might already be done though.”

“Oh, I don’t know… A heroic defeat, a glorious but ultimately fruitless performance… We might be able to salvage something from this after all. How’s the boy, by the way?”

“The right-back? Miraculous recovery. ‘Starblaydi boffins baffled by bouncing Burgos’, apparently. Could even make it back in time for the final, or third-place play-off or whatnot. The Cunningham kid’s fine and dandy too now.”

“Well, it’s nice to know someone’s been doing their job properly, I must say. So… Don’t suppose you’ve got any ideas, have you…?”

_____________________

The Albrecht Herald Online/Football/Breaking News in Brief

Lloyd Donnelly's starting XI for the quarter-final Di Bradini Cup clash with hosts Starblaydia has been named as;

GK Prince Mapleson

DR Hugo Krstev
DC Ben Young (c)
DC Steven Williams
DL Özkan Yalçin

MR Ben Edwards
MC Matteo Corradini
MC Carroll Eriksson
ML Reuben Kennedy

F1 Joe Cunningham
F2 Rául Vélez

PNC Sports

Interview with Coach Freddy Fellow
PNC:"I have to say in behalf of the whole team at Popayen News Channel, that we congratulate you on getting through to the nest round. I would like to first ask you your reaction on getting through."
FF:"Well of course I am increadbly pleased with the team but we all know that getting pass Alversia will be increadbly hard."
PNC:"Of course, Alversia are a hard team to beat, but what is the team spirit like at the moment?"
FF:"The team moral has never been higher. We are going into the next match with no expectations lying on our sholders; We have already suppased our expectations and so anything more is a huge, huge bonus for our team."
PNC:"What do you think the team wants from the Alversia game?"
FF:"They want to win...You don't play football to come second do you? Even if they know they haven't a chance in hell, they still give it 150%. Even if we lose 5-0, but we tried our upmost, then for us, that is a victory in itself. We tried but they were to good, and that the fact of it."
PNC:"I guess that means that your not confident about Popay winning then?"
FF:"On the contary, I think we have every chance of winning. We have proven throughout this torniment that we can take chances and convert, and we can come back from a certin defeat. Although, we shouldn't get cocky, we get to the stages where a mistake means your out, and there are no second chances."
PNC:"Finaly, I would like to ask you, how are you going to reward your players at the end of this?"
FF:"Haha, I'm not sure. I'll probaly take them to see a movie or go to the racers, but I haven't rearly thought about that yet."
PNC:"Thank you, Freddy."
FF:"No problem."

OOC: The Quarter-Finals will be held on Saturday evening GMT, hopefully just before the RL RWC Final. Oh, and this RP is a definite piss-take, something C&M ought to understand.

IC:

Starblaydia Facing C&A
Old clothing store employees to be crushed

Joe, Ben, Ben and Steve. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the boys from the shop floor will be around to play Starblaydia's highly-trained team of professional footballers in what should be the thrashing of the century. More used to stacking shelves with cheap and awful clothing lines, they will be putting on the football boots - and probably a load of ill-fitting, badly designed kits - and line up against a side who have proved themselves time and again in international competition.

Quite how they, managed by some guy called Lloyd who probably has no qualifications for anything save sitting around scratching his backside, will stand up to ex-World Cup player Apollina Iakovakis' side of future world-beaters is something beyond this journalist. Four-goal Stefan Hinkonnen, the big fella, can reach the top shelves with room to spare and lug his huge frame around the pitch for ninety minutes. He's such a top striker that he already is listed as joint-fourth on the all-time list of Starblaydi youth team goalscorers with twelve strikes to his name in sixteen appearances. Strike partner Lii Chong-sun has four to his name, with offensive midfielder Di Angelo having bagged eight - joint-seventh on the all-time list. Don't forget other fantastic players, such as Jae Chang-hwa, who not only has a "great rack" - unlike C&A - but also is cool and well-timed in her tackling.

Starblaydia have only lost a single match in this tournament, to the team finishing above them in Group A, going down Two-One against The Pazhujeb Islands, coached by their former star and mentor, two-time World Cup winner Jaime Oberlander. Their last Quarter-Finals have been tough matches, first against Jeruselem in the inaugural Di Bradini Cup, then against Az-cz, who's national team are defending World Cup Champions.

We don't even know how C&A got here, so how they'll have any hope of progressing to the last four is beyond us.

The Entomologist

Translated from Pazhujebi to English by Siddarth Charayam

Eenadu Look Like Total Idiots As Roach Nails Match Prediction
During an interview with Eenadu newspaper yesterday, Pazhujebi wonder-cockroach Edward made a prediction regarding the Pazhujeb Islands' match with Novapsolu in the Di Bradini U21 Cup. In general, it seemed that the leading newspaper was taking the position that leading entomologist Sudhir Phuturej was making everything up. We here at the leading entomology newsletter in the Pazhujeb Islands understand that Dr. Phuturej has a consistent reputation for top-caliber work, and that questions about the authenticity of his studies are naive.

In fact, the aforementioned prediction was yesterday nearly realized, and would have been fully had it not been for a very, very poor call on the part of Bazalonian referee David Dre, who waved away a clear Novapsolu goal in the 17th minute. The goal, which would have been scored by midfielder Tom Wolsnik, was a low-to-the-ground blast that keeper Vekaj Amutarrad had to spring backwards to try to save. It seemed very clear that Amutarrad had not stopped the ball in time, and that it had crossed the goal line. However, poor calls are poor calls, and the goal didn't stand.

The rest of the match went exactly as Edward predicted, with the offense waking up and scoring three massive goals by the end of the first half, and with Novapsolu grabbing a dignity goal late in the second.

So, because we at The Entomologist believe that Edward deserves some credit, we have ourselves organized an interview with the great roach-wizard-predictor. We are happy to send Rajama Juxuum to Vuke for this interview.

Rajama Juxuum: Way to show those undereducated morons who is boss, Edward. Everyone in this country knows that Novapsolu got robbed, and although you won't see any football fans here complaining, your prediction was foiled merely by a poor call.

Edward: Yes, I was in communication with several other cockroaches at the time, who were in Starblaydia and who had a feel for how things would turn out.

RJ: It's such a fascinating discovery that humans and cockroaches can now communicate. How do you think this will change our inter-species relationship?

E: Well I would hope that instead of humans flipping out every time they see one of us, that maybe they will learn our language and try to branch out.

RJ: I do too. Well, any detailed thoughts on the Novapsolu win?

E: Just a few. I'm ecstatic that Vuhumkara finally woke up and started putting away his chances, we all see that the kid possesses monstrous potential. Two goals for him, and the Panithaj scored right before half time as well. It's fabulous, really. I thought our defense was a little under-par, but I hope it's just a blip. Doesn't help that Mahmudanam Rha got hurt either.

RJ: I know, and so early! The third minute?!

E: Yeah. Well, regarding our next match, the quarterfinal against Kiryu-shi, well, I think we will need to keep the offensive production high. We'll need to carry over our enthusiasm and energy from the group stage, because in many ways Kiryu-shi are a similar team as us: they're young and pacy.

RJ: Here's the question everyone has been waiting for: will you do another prediction?

E: Oh, fine. I guess I can. I hate to say it, but an honest predictor knows no favorites. We'll fall to Kiryu-shi, two-one. Our defense will continue to leak opportunities against the really talented opponents, and it will cost us.

RJ: Even after that huge defensive show against Minilla Island?

E: Rha wasn't hurt against Minilla Island.

RJ: Touche. All right, well, thank you, Edward.

E: Certainly. I'm going to go hiss at old ladies and eat a decaying armadillo now.

RJ: Have a good one.

Poll Lambastes The Entomologist
A recent scientific study on the support of this publication showed that 64 percent of qualified scientists polled said that they ranked The Entomologist as "very poor" in terms of material accuracy. The study also showed that of this 64 percent, 96 percent cited the following reason for the "very poor" evaluation: "The Entomologist spends too much time talking about sports instead of science."

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/novapsolu.png 1 - 3 http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/the_pazhujeb_islands.png

Novapsolu Goalscorers:
Smith 89

Pazhujeb Islands Goalscorers:
Vuhumkara 32, 37; Panithaj 44

Novapsolu Cautions:
Will 47, Bane 49

Pazhujeb Islands Cautions:
Lethija 5, Parokshara 72, Uvar 75, Tushambanda 79

Novapsolu Sendings Off:
none

Pazhujeb Islands Sendings Off:
none

A weak, uninspired Kura-Pellandi youth team have been eliminated from the Di Bradini Cup, leading to many predictions that the current generation - the generation that were beaten finalists in that competition last time around - will be the backbone of the national side for years to come.

'That cohort have shown their capability, and this one has shown their incapability,' wrote one scathing newspaper reporter. 'Kura-Pelland's national team will now practically pick itself for years to come.'

The woeful form contrasts with the brilliance of Candelaria And Marquez, who are most journalists' pick to win the competition. 'They actually look like they're trying out there, our guys seriously didn't.'

Ratings have tumbled as audiences instead flocked to gameshows Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, Get 100 and Wheel of Fortune. Fittingly, the bonus round puzzle on that last night - in an episode taped six weeks ago - had the category FAMOUS NAME... said famous name was FEDDE BEATTIS, whose first-choice position is now practically impregnable. (The player solved the bonus and won K25,000, for an all-cash final total of K39,500.)

Quarter-Final Results
The Pazhujeb Islands 3-0 Kiryu-shi

Candelaria And Marquez 2-2 Starblaydia (FT)
Candelaria And Marquez 3-3 Starblaydia (AET)
Candelaria And Marquez wins 4-2 on penalties

St Samuel 3-1 Jeruselem

Alversia 1-1 Popay (FT)
Alversia 1-3 Popay (AET)

Semi-Final Fixtures:
SF1: The Pazhujeb Islands Vs Candelaria And Marquez @ Foundation Road, Jhanna - Iskara Daii (75,000)
SF2: St Samuel Vs Popay @ Silverlands, Corinth - Corinthian Spirits (65,000)

Popayen Sports

Super Subs creates a super result
Into the semi finals Popay go after an unexpected and amzing win today. 20,000 Popayen fans took the long journey to Starblaydia, expceting to see a good game, even though they knew winning was not the first things on there minds, it seemed they where there to have a good time.

The match had an air of excitement when the national anthems blasted out, an air of respect between the two sides was notiable. The match started with a frenizy of play by Popay to try and pressure Alversia, but they couldn't convert. Coco, coming close twice. The match was end to end, with supurb defending from both sides. Even though the first half ended 0-0, it was by no means a boaring half.

The second half didn't start well for Popay. As they conceced a goal 5 minuets in. An unstopable shot by Kevin Corrigan for Alversia. It seemed that the floodgates has opened because for the next 15 minuets, Alversia dominated the match without giving Popay a sniff. It was only a combonation of luck and good keeping that Popay didn't let in another.

As the match reached the 65 minuet mark, some subs where made by Popay. Callum Green was replaced by Arthur Maranesi (who was suprsingly put on the bench for the start of the match) and Christanio for Terry O'Shea. These changes seemed to make all the diffrence. 3 minuetes later, Popay had broken though, O'Shea setting up Celodéan for a great goal. With the scores at 1-1, it seemed that this match could of gone either way. It almost went the way of Alversia several times but Popay held on intill the final whisle.

The first half of extra time started much as the final whistle picked of, with Alversia coming close again, but it was Popay who got the break through. Arthur Maranesi with a belter, which Cillian Reid had no chance of saving. This sent the Popayen fans into raptures. From there Popay never looked back. Ending the first half extra time, Alversia looked demoralised, they had tried everything. So the second half started with Alversia going Gung-Ho to get the equalisor. And they nearly got it. Twice hitting the crossbar. It was however Popay who got the last goal. Maranesi again, getting the break to score Popays third.

As the final whistle blow, nearly all the Popayen players fell to their knees and started to weep in happiness. They had never thought they'd get this far and they thought they where dreaming. All credit to the Alversia players, they showed real sportsmenship by congratulating the Popayen players, a true example of Alversiain sportsmenship.

But now Popay face an even harder match, against St Samuel, who they lost 2-1 to in the group stage, at Silverlands, Corinth, home to the Corinthian Spirits. Popay have made it completly clear that they don't care who wins, they just want to play football.

Match Satistics
Goals: {Kevin Corrigan (Alversia) 50'}{Celodéan (Popay) 68')}{Maranesi (Popay) 98', 123'}
Bookings: None
Fouls: Popay (4) Alversia (2)
Possesion: Popay (47%) Alversia (53%)
Shots: Popay (7) Alversia (11)

Other QF Results
The Pazhujeb Islands 3-0 Kiryu-shi

Candelaria And Marquez 2-2 Starblaydia (FT)
Candelaria And Marquez 3-3 Starblaydia (AET)
Candelaria And Marquez wins 4-2 on penalties

St Samuel 3-1 Jeruselem

OOC: Bleedin' heck Star, that pushes the definition of 'evening' doesn't it? :p Any road up...

___________

What the Papers Say: Mercury fumes over ‘C&A’ slurs

As the Candelariasian press gear up for the islands’ quarter-final Di Bradini clash with Starblaydia, the country’s best-selling tabloid, the Albrecht Mercury, devotes much of its coverage to comments made in a leading Starblaydi paper ridiculing C&M as ‘C&A’.

“This is an unacceptable affront that deserves a formal apology,” argued the paper’s editorial. “How dare these backward Starblaydis compare our stricken but courageous young team to the Camden and Amboy Rail Road and Transportation Company?!”

The editor continues, “They have the temerity to liken us to the Yankee operators of elderly steam locomotives! But I would suggest that they are the ones going down the wrong track! Forget their history: Starblaydia, gentle readers, are as the New Jersey Rail Road and Transportation Company; fit only to follow a parallel line to our “C&A” due to our influence across the New Jersey Palisades that are the World! Let us not forget the lessons of history: That after much bickering; the NJRR was forced into a humiliating merger with the C&A in February 1867! The Starblaydis would be wise to remember this before making such malicious comments about our young heroes in future!”

Columnist Robert Friartuck argues that, “The small Starbladyi community in our country should seriously consider its place in our society, and be encouraged to do so! Of course, when I say “small” I mean in terms of numbers, not stature. Oooh no, you won’t catch me out like that. Always thinking, me. But at any rate, we have to ask if they deserve a place in the most normal and average and proper country in the world after the foul insults of their countryfolk. American railways, for pity’s sake! You couldn’t make it up!”

The Starblaydi community itself, a Mr. Althinn Grimbeard of the Songstress Neighbourhood, Albrecht; has yet to pass comment on the matter.

“This is just the genus of crass xenophobia we’ve come to anticipate from these conceited Atlantacian Oceanianianianian nations,” suggests Aleesha, 19, from Arrigo, in the News in Briefs section. “Some of our boys are still confined to their sick beds! Mr. Donnelly should fasten these comments to the dressing room wall!”

Elsewhere in the paper’s sports section, C&M fans are supplied with a variety of chants to hurl at Starblaydi supporters and players including “You’re going home in a Tabeck ambulance”, a reference to the supposed failure of local medical authorities in the Starblaydi second city to turn up in rapid time to the Frozen Ferrett where several C&M players were in a bad way last week.

There are kind words reserved for the press in Kura-Pelland however, who were said to have “waxed lyrical on the sheer luminosity of the Candelasarian [sic] play”, and picked C&M as competition favourites. Raymond Chytry, chair of the Candelariasian Friends of Kura-Pelland pressure group, said that the comments were, “indicative of the bond between our two peoples in recent times. In sport, in trade, in anti-terrorism; our countries have never been closer together in spirit, and we should be thankful for their support against the undemocratic tyranny of the bigoted Starblaydian behemoth.”

From the Rushmore Sports Daily’s Brian Kennedy Column

_____________

OOC again; quarter-final reaction (weee! yay!) to come...

Alversia Out

The Alversian bubble was finally burst in the quarter finals against Popay this evening. Despite the brilliant performance of an understrength Alversian side. The theam came out in great confidence and it looked like course for the par when Kevin Corrigan slotted home another goal for his 6th goal of the tournament. However, several substitutions and an unusually off form Michael Reynolds saw the Popay score an equilizer. From thgen on in, Alversia held on until the 1st half of extra time when Cillian Reid was beaten by nothing less than a superb goal from Arthur Maranesi. In the second half, Alversia threw everything but the kitchen sink at the Popeyan defense hitting the bar twice.

However, it was on the break that Arthur Maranesi scored again for his second of the match and the final seal on Alversia's fate. Despite their dissappointment, the Alversians were delighted to have reached the quarter finals and to have made their mark on the international scene

"The Popayen team have some real crackers on that team and I really hope they go all the way in this tournament" Mattie McGleenan told our reporters after the match.

A true example of sportsmanship.

The Jeruselem team were crushed by the Latin Crusaders from St Samuel, where the girls had won their cup earlier. It looked like the Jeruselem girls were still better than Jeruselem boys in the end. And it looked like the women would outnumber men in the World Cup team again.

Dazza:
"Fellas! I see what's wrong with Jeruselem men in football. Where's the passion? Come on, we got hammered! I think the problem is you need to put more into your football. It's not just 90 minutes of exercise, it's more than just work - it's more than that. You see me crying because we lose sometimes. Why? Because, you have to put more than the body on the line. It's yourself out there. Sure you're kicking a ball around, but it's more. It's representing a team whether it's the club, or the nation. When we play, we play for the team. It's not 11 people - it's a team of 11 not 11 different people. OK, remember the work TEAM. Not just ME or I, but TEAM. Right, since we're out and having nothing to do. You have R&R! Just don't take girls home, or we'll upset the locals."

“Heavens… She’s a well-proportioned young lady, isn’t she?”

“You’re old enough to be her father, sir…”

“That coming fromyou, Dan, I won’t dignify it with further response. I mean, look at the poor boy; Kennedy. He’s sweating like a pig. Now you see, this is an excellent reason why not to have female players running about amongst the blokes. We could’ve just said that from the start, not bothered with all that third-choice goalkeeper lark…”

“Perhaps we could just force them all to wear hijabs and have done with it, Lyndon. It’d get back the Muslim vote, if nothing else.”

They watched Jae Chang-hwa put in another crunching tackle on the C&M left-winger, Reuben Kennedy.

“Gosh. We should really get ourselves one of those.”

“We could put Benji Fu in a wig?”

“Whatever gets you through the night, Dan.”

The C&M physio wandered unhurriedly onto the pitch to tend to Kennedy’s calf as the referee wagged a finger at the teenage Starblaydi right-back. Bored, the director cut to a panoramic sweep around the Big Eye Arena before showing an extended image of Penningworth’s harbour melding into the current view of the pitch. It was all very pretty.

The match, on the other hand, was anything but; the scratch side put together by Lloyd Donnelly being thoroughly out-classed by Apollina Iakovakis’. The huge chap up front, Stefan Hinkonnen had already fluffed half a dozen chances and barely twenty minutes had gone by. For their part, the Small Blues had been confined to a thirty-yard pile-driver from Carroll Eriksson, which had gone amusingly wide. Indeed it seemed as though hit-and-hope attempts from far out represented C&M’s only real opportunities, Matteo Corradini this time attempting a ludicrous punt.

“That’s a very hirsute ball-boy there, isn’t it?”

“I really don’t think that’s a ball-boy, sir?”

“No… I suppose not. Make sure you tell the commentator to remind people that Starblaydi kids have a habit of developing very early and very thick facial hair, won’t you? I guess we should just be thankful he’s not carrying an axe an’ all…”

The goalkeeper Kostas Nikolaidis sent a high ball upfield to Alfonso Di Angelo who burst past Eriksson and laid a perfect pass into Hinkonnen. A glorious last-ditch saving tackle from the C&M captain, Ben Young, kept the game goalless. Hernández scowled.

“Is it my imagination Dan, or did the Young kid decide to stay in Starblaydia for the remainder of this tournament rather than return home to his nine months pregnant girlfriend?”

“No, you’re quite right. He’s hoping it won’t be born before he gets back.”

“Can’t there be… complications, or something?”

“Lyndon!”

“Not really, obviously. Come on. Just something to get him away from this tournament. I swear, if we get through, he could make things really difficult. Well, easier, obviously, but you know what I me… Ooh…”

“Aah… Eeh…”

“Jus… Jus… Don’t…”

“…”

“AGH! LIMA, YOU BLOODY… RING-TAILED… BASTARD!”

“He was quite unlucky there, actually. The bounce of the ball was quite unfortunate, and actually if you look at Brunner’s positioning, that was poor actually, it–”

“Oh, hush,” Hernández muttered as Rául Vélez continued to bounce about and hug everyone. “So, who the hell are we playing next, then? Lost Tree-People of Nang Pank’ Perr? The Singing Baked Potatoes of the Midnight Dawn? The–”

“It’s only one-nil… It’d be the Pazhujeb Islands, though.”

“Oh, goody. The ones that can talk to fleas?”

“Cockroaches. Apparent… Ooh…”

“Ow. That had to hu… Come oncomeoncome… HA! Eat THAT, Mapleson! You BEAUTY, Lima! What a player, eh?”

“He should never have been allowed all that space.”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake Martino, cheer up. It’s one-all, the momentum’s with them. They’ll probably go on and… Yeah, that’s right; focus in on a group of… whatever-they-ares-in-the-crowd… God, It’s like they’re doing it on purpose. Oh, now here’s a chance…”

“HAND BALL!”

“Que?”

“There, look. Clear as day. Williams. He’s having an absolute mare!”

Hernández viewed his assistant with concern. “Are you alright… You seem to have gone awfully native this last week or so.”

“Sorry, yes… It’s this sport; I don’t know quite what it does to me… HE’S GIVEN IT!”

“Well thank God for that…”

They sat on the edges of their swivelly chair in front of the big screen as Hinkonnen stepped up to the spot and fired a textbook penalty home. A short amount of whopping and, indeed, hollering ensued before the Ministry of Rational Thought pair returned to their seats.

“Now that was a pretty superb turnaround, all things considered,” Hernández beamed. “Not to be premature, but I reckon a celebration’s in order, don’t you? I’ve got a tube of Pringles in my office, would you like some Pringles? I fancy some Pringles.”

“That would be nice, sir, yes…”

“Right. As long as you don’t offer them in thanks to the Goddess of Fortune, or something.”

“She tends to prefer crushed rose petals, honey blossom, that sort of thing. Goats, in some quarters. Doritos, failing that.”

“I’ll see what I can manage.”

Then, over the next hour-or-so, ten things happened, in roughly this order;

1. C&M right-winger Ben Edward sent a floating free-kick towards Rául Vélez, who headed the ball down for Joe Cunningham. The striker nudged the ball over Nikolaidis’ goal line, for his sixth of the tournament.

2. Lyndon Hernández, chair of the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Rushmori Trade Subsidies in the Candelaria And Marquez House of Representatives and Minister for Rational Thought, dropped some cheesy dip down his shirt.

3. Back in Penningworth, the referee blew up for full-time, sending the game into half an hour of extra time.

4. Back in Albrecht, a shop selling mouth organs on Dee Street blew up, wounding two passers-by. This happens quite a lot in C&M. Only with mouth organ emporiums, though. It’s a very perverse and precise terror campaign, and probably not relevant.

5. Back in Penningworth, home-town hero Kwame Jabir beat Carroll Eriksson to a header, swivelled, and provided a delicate pass to Alfonso Di Angelo who sped past Steven Williams and popped the ball home.

6. Several million people across Starblaydia rose to their feet in celebration.

7. At least three people across the Candelarias did the same.

8. In a sewer system beneath a small town in the Candelarias, a small, but not that small, and slightly greenish creature may, or may not, have been rather brutally strangled by another small, but not that small, and slightly greenish creature. This may, or may not, prove to be relevant, at some point.

9. Özkan Yalçin broke free of Jaime Gomes and lofted a ball to C&M substitute Connor Mengucci, on for the limping Matteo Corradini. The Candelaria-Allemali FC teenager found Rául Vélez hanging aside Leandro Perheira and squeezed a pass through Kalia Canildo’s legs to the bulky Vélez. He held off Perheira well to knock a finish past Nikolaidis for yet another equaliser.

10. At least three people across the Candelarias rubbed their hands over their faces.

“So… If Jae doesn’t score this pen…?”

“Starblaydia are out, I’m afraid.”

“Okay… *Fwwwwwuu* Come on now, you can do it! Come out, my s… uh… daughter, you can… Gowon, send him the wrong way, that’s…”

“It.”

“Fuck. Well, don’t they look happy? Bloody successful bloody… So… Cockroaches, you say..?

St Samuel (1) 3
De Noutica 27
Arquilla 71
De Mazouna 85
Jeruselem (1) 1
Slasher 38

St Samuel managed to beat a strong Jeruselem side in the Quarter Finals to go through to the semi-finals. The Latin Crusaders had a tough challenge ahead of them without five of there strongest players, having lost them to the senior side who are currently playing in the Cup of Harmony, but the side pulled out a well earnt gritty victory against a very good side.

It was St Samuel who scored first in the 'Battle of the Crusaders' after debutant Oscar De Noutica rounded defender Downaroad and then struck from 15 yards leaving goal keeper Steele Micar no chance after 27 minutes.

Jeruselem replied well with some good attacking play and there efforts payed off in the 38th minute when Tyre Slasher climbed high to meet a cross from Crassher and his header was looped over the head of Biortello.

After the equalizer both teams midfields tightened up and appeared to cancel out one anothers attacking play. At the half time whistle the scoreline was 1-1.

The second half started much like the first half finished, with the midfielders dominating the play. By the hour mark both teams were still level at 1-1. Enter Frankie Della Porcia. Another debutant, who began to show some fantastic skills. Della Porcia began to create some real problems for Jeruselem and his silky skills created a number of good opportunities.

It was on the 71st minute when Frankie Della Porcia picked up the ball on the half way line, and with lightening pace and skill strode up the right wing, then at full speed changing directions spun the ball over to Arquilla, who caught the ball perfectly with his left foot on the volley, nearly ripping the net making it 2-1.

The third goal was also made by Frankie Della Porcia who with five minutes remaining flicked the ball over the head of Deliquent, then nutmegged Blaster and then shot from 20 yards out. Micar somehow blocked the shot only for the ball to fall to Costas De Mazouna who placed the ball easily into the net.

The determined performance by St Samuel see's them qualify for the semi-finals and a tough fixture against Popay at the Silverlands in Corinth. The Samuelonian support appears to be growing with over 25,000 Samuelonian's now in Starblaydia, a tribute to the young St Samuel stars.

Goalscorers
Atalanta 3
Rocka 3
Di Helana 1
Arquilla 2
De Mazouna 1
De Noutica 1

Squad for the next fixture

GK: Luca Biortello
RB: Nathim Oscararti
CB: Georgi Di Santos
CB: Bruno Della Porcria
LB: Omar Nazzariam
RM: Frankie Della Porcia
CM: Leo Pertroubi
CM: Costas De Mazouna
LM: Carlos Van Alta
ATT: Massimo Arquilla
ATT: Oscar De Noutica

SGK: Louis Ripratchi
SCB: Jose Ferradia
SLM: Yasser Niobi
SATT: Mido Al Khady

Semi-Final Results
The Pazhujeb Islands 2-4 Candelaria And Marquez
St Samuel 3-1 Popay

Final:
St Samuel Vs Candelaria And Marquez @ Jader Barbahlo Stadium, Jhanna - Jhanna United (96,000)

Third-Placed Play-off:
The Pazhujeb Islands Vs Popay @ Iota "Big Eye" Arena, Penningworth - Penningworth United (82,000)

Popayen Sports

The Dream is over.

Tonight, almost 20,000 Popayen fans make there way back home after a valianet but resonding loss against St.Samuel. For 90 minuets Popay fought hard but St.Samuel easily outclassed Popay, booking their place in the final.

3 supurb goals by the Latin Crusaders rearly underlined who was the better side in this match. Popay made no mistakes during this match but supuroiur movement and finishing rearly did edge it for the Latin Crusaders. The night started however with great pride for the Popayens. Amazed at how far they got, they were in no way disparged by the result tonight. Singing an adapted verison of "Take me home, country road", the fans seemed in high spirts tonight, even though they knew a loss was very likley.

The match itself was rearly all over in the first half, two well crafted goals by Massimo Arquilla easily gave the edge. Popay never rearly got into the game except in the second half when Maranesi got what Popay knew even then was a consalation goal, after vollying it into the net. 6 minuets later, St.Samuel had sealed Popay's fate, an easy tap in by Sebastien Atalanta gave the Latin Crusaders the win.

Popay however didn't mind losing. To come unraked into your first torniment and get to the semis is some achivemt. The have been plans to try and qulify for the next world cup for Popay following this success and there are hopes that Popay can keep this standerd going for many years to come.

Popay will face The Pazhujeb Islands in the 3rd place playoff. The Pazhujeb Islands lost 4-2 to Candelaria And Marquez, making the final Candelaria And Marquez Vs St.Samuel.

Match Satistics
Goals: {Arquilla (St.Samuel) 23', 43'}{Maranesi (Popay) 61')}{Atalanta (St.Samuel) 67'}
Bookings: None
Fouls: Popay (2) St.Samuel (1)
Possesion: Popay (41%) St.Samuel (59%)
Shots: Popay (2) St.Samuel (5)

One finals day

Dazza:
"OK team! I'm handing out St Samuel's supporters shirts. We are supporting our fellow Crusaders. I think they can win. I want you all to behave yourselves and watch a game of football without molesting young ladies nearby. I want you to watch this final and learn from the best. You're getting a bit of money so you can spend it on whatever for the big day. Just watch and learn about how to play a final."

The team donned the St Samuel's supporters kits and filed into the stadium.

“Yea… Sir, I don’t think you should get too hung up on the whole ‘talking to cockroaches’ thing… It’s not exactly a national pastime.”

“It’s still odd, man. You wouldn’t catch our leading scientists nattering away to insects left, right and centre, would you?”

“We have ‘leading scientists’?,” Martino wondered vaguely.

The Minister ignored him, staying focussed on the screen in front of them. “Gosh,” Hernández muttered, watching highlights of the Pazhujeb players being played out prior to kick-off. “He’s awfully good. Who be he?”

“Chaya Vuhumkara, the striker. He’s only fifteen, would you believe?”

“Jesus, Maria y José, they start ‘em young over there, don’t they? They must be bloody talented to get this far, but…”

“There are concerns about whether they can last the pace with so little experience, yes.”

“Damn. I don’t suppose we could… bribe them or something?”

“Bribe them to win? Is that usually how it works?”

“No… But I’m sure we could find them a little added incentive. A bit of a haggle never hurt anyone.”

“Flea bargaining?”

“Anyway, it’s too late now, isn’t it?” Hernández muttered miserably.

“On account of the whole ‘talking to insects’ thing, you see, it’s… Um, where are you off to, sir?”

“To see if I can’t find us a goat, Dan. Looks like we’re going to need all the Fortune we can get…”

____________________

The Albrecht Herald
Cup final glory could be days away
By Tracker Edwards

It just gets odder, doesn’t it? Suddenly, we have upon us surely the greatest single day of sport the Candelarias has ever seen when the C&M Under-21s play in their second Cup final in a row, and mere hours later the senior side take out Daehanjeiguk in a game that could make all the difference to both countries’ Cup of Harmony hopes.

If the achievements of Lloyd Donnelly’s boys in Starblaydia were always likely to seem the most unlikely, given the comments made over recent months regarding their relative lack of out-and-out quality; the route which they have taken to the final of what is, in all but name, the World Under-21 Cup is stranger still. Finally yesterday, Donnelly could name a side more than fleetingly reminiscent of that which started the early matches, the brief period of strife mid-Cup now merely part of history. Not that it will seem that way for William Burgos, the reliable right wing-back whose promising tournament was ended on that fateful night in downtown Tabeck. Of the first-choice XI, only he will be forced to watch the final from the stands while young Hugo Krstev gleefully takes his place. And if the likes of Reuben Kennedy and Carroll Eriksson are justified in feeling a might pissed-off that they will have to vacate their newfound starting places for returning players; as least they can know that, with their help, C&M might just be in line for a cherry-popping international Cup. And twenty-three well-earned medals to be passed around.

Let’s certainly not get ahead of ourselves, of course, not when St Samuel – a fine outfit indeed as the 3-3 draw the last time these two sides met can attest – come off the back of crushings of Jeruselem and Popay. But we could still be forgiven for feeling a smidgen of confidence following this victory over the Pazhujeb Islands; an inexperienced outfit to be sure, but one oozing in quality.

They proved that from almost the word go, leaving the reassembled Small Blues reeling from superb early attacks. A mistake by Matteo Corradini, still a player working his way back to full fitness, let in young striker Chaya Vuhumkara, who miskicked with only the keeper to beat. Corradini was again culpable for almost letting his side go behind; conceding a free-kick which Qabe Oujadda delivered beautifully onto the head of Pav Panithaj. The sixteen-year-old’s header was terrific, but Prince Mapleson in the C&M goal was just about equal to it.

Not to say it was all one way, Vekaj Amutarrad distinguishing himself with a fine save from Rául Vélez. But in comparison, Donnelly’s men seemed sluggish compared to Oberlander’s teenage upstarts, and it seemed little surprise when they finally went behind. Captain Ben Young, of all people, gave away a free-kick in a dangerous area which Oujadda hoofed into the box. A pile of players went for it, but the defender Redhe Lissama proved the highest jumper.

Comparisons between Donnelly’s side and Mark Baker’s have been made all too often this tournament, and the last, but one thing the senior side do have to their credit is composure. The recent Solenial match aside, they know how to hold on to a lead, or not panic when faced with defeat. It is a characteristic the impetuous Under-21s have lacked up ‘till now, but here they found it when they needed it most. The midfield began to link better, relations between Corradini, Ben Edwards and Reuben Okeke becoming increasingly seamless. As the half hour rolled up on the clock, Okeke found his way to the edge of the penalty area and squared for Edwards. The Albrecht FC star sliced his shot somewhat, but it fell to Corradini who atoned for his earlier error by finishing handsomely.

Come the second half, it was time for C&M’s fine striker-come-midfielder-come-defender-come-winger, Özkan Yalçin, to come into his own, launching a purposeful run down the left and launching a low cross. The Pazhujeb defence struggled to cover, and the ball found Vélez who controlled his strike perfectly.

Yalçin then took it upon himself to further enhance the Small Blues’ lead, cutting in from the wing and launching a sweet effort that took a sizeable deflection off Semhar Idarha and past Amutarrad’s impressive but ultimately futile lunge.

As befits a side in purple however, the youngsters of the Hyrule islands were far from done, and tried everything to put the willies back up C&M as they had in the first half. Xusannikara Ghur and Panithaj combined twice to worry Young and Mars Douaydari, but Donnelly had pulled Connor Mengucci and Krstev back to defend and they stayed strong. Eventually, the Pazhujeb fight-back found a goal, as Huvem Tushambanda played a long ball into the C&M penalty area which was flicked on for Panithaj by substitute Uimar Chussadir. Panithaj controlled it beautifully and fired past Mapleson.

Now only three-two down, the Sea Urchins had a couple of final throws of the dice, but they came to nought. C&M not unwisely confined themselves to defence and long balls; one of which finally came off when that man Yalçin again whacked a ball to Vélez. Lissama was forced to concede a corner, and with several players up from the back, C&M scored through their captain.

After a final-minutes decider, Donnelly allowed his team the indulgence of a bit of overzealous celebration, but the scorer Ben Young was not to be a part of it. He was straight off down the tunnel at the final whistle, to log into his emails and see the first pictures of newborn Jhanna Victoria Young.

We will discover for ourselves over the next few days whether that choice will prove auspicious for the footballing dreams of the country.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Candelaria And Marquez.png Candelaria And Marquez Under-21s 4
Corradini 31, Vélez 55, Yalçin 61, Young 90

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/the pazhujeb islands.png Pazhujeb Islands Under-21s 2
Lissama 17, Panithaj 82

____________________

“… least it’s St Samuel, eh? Perfectly normal, Catholic country. No dwarves, or aliens or cockroaches there, eh? And… Where are you going, now?.”

“Ring for a taxi, my gracile friend. And call ahead to Albrecht International. I’m buggered if I’m going to stay sat here like a third leg while those kids are off damaging the very fabric of the Candelariasian state… Put your coat on.”

“Oh… Have I pulled?”

St Samuel (2) 3
Arquilla 23 & 43, Atalanta 67
Popay (0) 1
Maranesi 61

Football in St Samuel is a religion and tonight millions of Samuelonians tuned into the St Samuel Under 21's Vs Popay Under 21's in the semi finals of the Di Bradini Cup. The excitement leading up to kickoff was plain for all to see with shops and offices closing early for the eager fans to get home or to the pub to see there young heros in action. Nearly 25,000 Samuelonians had made the journey to Starblaydia and a sea of blue painted faces, blue shirts and St Samuel flags in the stadium along with deafening singing really showed what this means to the nation.

Hopes were high and dreams of a cup final appearance were only finger tips away. Newly promoted captain, Georgi Di Santos, led the side out to the tune of 25,000 voices shouting St Samuel songs.

The fans were not to be dissapointed for the 90 minutes ahead was an action packed, nail bitting performance of what every semi final should be made of. The unranked Popay put up a valiant fight, but the Latin Crusaders were in no mood to lose out on there dream and really got into fifth gear early on.

Massimo Arquilla was the first on the score sheet with a well crafted move from St Samuel, with a count of 18 passes leading up to the shot. The final ball came from Van Alta, who slid the ball through to Arquilla, who with class stepped over the ball, tricking the defender and then shot, Graham Black got a fingertip to the ball, but not enough to stop the powerful shot from Arquilla, which put St Samuel in front after 23 minutes.

Arquilla then got his second twenty minutes later. Frankie Della Porcia, who has really began to make a name for himself, with some good performances, flew down the right wing and then curled a perfect cross, which Arquilla flew himself at in a diving header, scoring a powerful header.

Popay clawed there way back into the match just after the hour mark, when Maranesi connected with a well worked cross, volleying the shot into the top left hand corner which left Luca Biortello no chance.

With Popay back in the match, many nails were being chewed in the St Samuel end as Popay began to put up a real fight back. But all hopes of a come back were shattered on the 67th minute when Frankie Della Porcia drilled a hard and low cross into the Popay six yard box which beat the keeper finding Oscar De Noutica unmarked at the far post who tapped the ball in easily making the score 3-1.

Returning to a two goal lead St Samuel just had to hold on for twenty minutes and it was down to Pertroubi and De Mazouna, the two St Samuel centre midfielders, who worked tirelessly, battling for every loose ball and supporting both defence and attack.

After two minutes of added injury time the final whistle finally went and the young Latin Crusaders began there celebrations.

St Samuel face Candelaria And Marquez in the final next, which promises to be a huge day for every Samuelonian. Airlines are already struggling to cope with the demand for flights from St Samuel to Starblaydia and tickets for the final are in high demand. Never before has under 21 football in St Samuel been so popular. Manager Luigi De Ribiera has ear marked C&M's striker Joe Cunningham as there biggest threat, but is hopeing that his youngsters flowing attacking style will be enough to lift them the cup.

Goalscorers
Arquilla 4
Atalanta 3
Rocka 3
De Noutica 2
Di Helana 1
De Mazouna 1

Squad for the next fixture

GK: Luca Biortello
RB: Nathim Oscararti
CB: Georgi Di Santos
CB: Bruno Della Porcria
LB: Omar Nazzariam
RM: Frankie Della Porcia
CM: Leo Pertroubi
CM: Costas De Mazouna
LM: Carlos Van Alta
ATT: Massimo Arquilla
ATT: Oscar De Noutica

SGK: Louis Ripratchi
SCB: Jose Ferradia
SLM: Yasser Niobi
SATT: Mido Al Khady

Third-Place Play-off Result
The Pazhujeb Islands 2-3 Popay


Final Result:
St Samuel 0-2 Candelaria And Marquez

Congratulations to C&M, who take the Second Di Bradini Cup. The Starblaydi Football Association would like to thank every nation who has taken part, and we'll see you all again for the Third Di Bradini Cup, when it opens sign-ups as a pre-World Cup 39 tournament.

Popayen Sports

Popay come Third.

Chaos rained on the streets today as Popay yet again beat the odds and claimed third in the Di Brandini Cup today. If you saw the celebrations you'd of been mistaken that they had won the final, but coming third is such an achivemnt for such a new nation into international football.

The match against The Pazhujeb Islands was equal all the way through, with either side able to claim victory, but it was the magic man, Maranesi, getting a hattrick, that sealed it for Popay. However, it was Pazhujeb who got the first, with Vuhumkara getting the first off a great cross to send them infront.

Pazhujeb kept the pressure on initll the 36th minuet when Maranesi got his first. A cross from Bobo connected onto Maranesi's head and into the goal. However, Popay couldn't keep the momentem going, and Pazhujeb almost got back the lead in the 44th minuet.

Half time brought a message from the Starblaydi minister of sport, who wanted to "thank all the teams in the compotion this year and wished that the rest of the game to be good as the first half", who then made his way to a helicopter out side the grounds, which transported him to the final.

The second half started with a flurry of action from both sides, Pazhujeb and Popay both coming close, but it was Popay who got the break, with Maranesi tapping home a well worked goal. Pazhujeb where having none of that though, and they pilied on the pressure, intill Ghur got the equalisor. After that, both teams where unsure weather to risk it, or play safe and defencive.

Both teams played cagey football for a while intill Maranesi, sensing a gap in the Pazhujeb defence went for a run and managed to somehow out pace their defence, scoring a great goal, and bring his tally for the torniment up to 9, making him one of the top goalscores.

Pazhujeb didn't give up however after Maranesi's goal, with trying every trick in the book to get back, but it was not ment to be, when the final whistle blew, both teams went to thier knees, one in joy, one in despair. Popay, where so happy to come third, more than they had ever expected, and to all credit to Pazhujeb, they showed great sportsmenship and humility by congratulating Popay on their achivement and not trying to ruin there moment.

With this victory, it can only be said that the future of Popayen future is bright, and a world cup apperince is on the cards soon. We fo one at Popayen sports have greatly enjoyed this compotiton this year and we wish to thank Starblaydia for hosting such a great torniment this year.

Match Satistics
Goals: {Vuhumkara (Pazhujeb) 23'}{Maranesi (Popay) 36', 49', 79')}{Ghur (Pazhujeb) 53'}
Bookings: {Coco (Popay) 51'}{Maranesi (Popay) 74'}
Fouls: Popay (5) Pazhujeb (1)
Possesion: Popay (51%) Pazhujeb (49%)
Shots: Popay (8) Pazhujeb (9)


Final:
St Samuel 0-2 Candelaria And Marquez

Candelaria And Marquez won the cup after a great two-nil victory over St Samuel. We wish to congratulate them for winning.

“Can I have a go on the binoculars?”

“No. Your eyesight’s perfectly fine, Dan. You just don’t want me to have to see their joyous celebrations, do you? That is why you got us these seats right up here in the gods, isn’t it?”

“Can’t hide anything from you, can I sir?”

“No, I… Oh, figs, is that going to be another one?” Hernández groaned as Özkan Yalçin exchanged passes with Reiban Okeke.

The St Samuel defence were already shattered and, in this case, nowhere to be found; Georgi Di Santos and Bruno Della Porcria desperately trying to get back from the other end of the pitch where they had been attending a succession of corners. On the fifth attempt, Massimo Arquilla had finally headed over the bar seemingly bringing to an end the Latin Crusaders’ hopes of finding an answer to Joe Cunningham’s sixtieth-minute wonderstrike. The C&M team had then broken away from Prince Mapleson’s huge kick out, which Connor Mengucci had knocked down for Yalçin. A feather-heavy swish with the side of his foot had sent the ball bobbling past Nathim Oscararti and back into Okeke’s path. The passage of Time in Starblaydia seemed, just for instant, to unite with that in the Candelarias – i.e., being all but static – and the dreadlocked midfielder was left with all the time in the world to settle the ball at his feet and plop a lob over Luca Biortello.

The Samuelese crowd visibly sank. The Candelariasians barely knew what to do with themselves.

“They’ll be breaking out the bunting back home, I suppose,” Daniel Martino mused cheerlessly.

“What exactly is bunting, anyway?”

“Uh… streamers and flags and whatnot, I think, sir.”

“Why would you tie a child up in it, then?” Hernández muttered, loudly, as an extended family of Greco-Cypriot-Candelariasians bounced up and down in an Antipodean fashion, and whooped a bit. He felt utterly dispirited. Bribes had failed, threats had failed. A very promising potential floodlight failure had failed. In his limited knowledge of the sport, he could tell they hadn’t even played that well. Two good goals, some surprisingly adept defending and a rather dodgy offside call had given the Republic of Candelaria And Marquez their first sporting cup. And God, Hernández thought, aren’t they bloody enjoying it? Jumping up and down on each other’s backs; kissing, for some reason… Discovering which among their number could resist the temptation to put the lid of the Di Bradini on their heads…

Out of the corner of his eye, the Minister for Rational Thought spotted a figure sloping off out of the stands, laptop under an arm. Hernández grabbed the other one.

“Oi! Ah. Oh.”

“Evenin’ Tracker. Great stuff, isn’t it? Well deserved too, eh, after everything they’ve been through. You must pass on my regards to your boy. Not one of his better games, granted, but a win’s a win, isn’t it?”

“Ah… yes,” the sportswriter mumbled. “I didn’t realise you were here, actually, Minister. I thought Ms. Samed was coming over to support the lads, but…”

“Oh yes, she’s here. I thought I’d come and lend my support too, y’know? And the Culture Secretary’s here and all. And the C&M Consul-General to Starblaydia. He’s just over there.”

“Gosh. I– I didn’t know we had one. Didn’t think we sent Ambassadors to, y’know… awkward countries.”

“Oh, we don’t as a rule. But it’s good to have some eyes and ears on the ground, you know? Go on; give Mr. Charalambous a wave… There he is. Hello, Mr. Charalambous! A great day for the Repub… I SAID, A GREAT DAY FOR THE REPUBLIC! YES! There, he’s smiling, look…”

“Well, it was nice to see you of course, but I’ve really got to get off. Got to get the article emailed over lickety-split to make the first editions…” Their eyes met. Edwards pulled the Minister over to a slightly quieter corner. “So, what d’you want this time, Hernández? Starblaydia suffered its worst rain storms for a century leaving the ground flooded and the game called off. Ooh, and the Cup awarded to both sides?”

Hernández paused. “Crikey, man, keep this up and I’ll be out of a job… No… Just put the usual spin on it, lucky goals, undeserved, a great one-off adventure for the minnows from Rushmore… All that.”

“You know…” Edwards muttered, casually. “Baker’s told me everything about your past. Well, your familial story at any rate. I could click my fingers–”

“And I could click mine, Tracker, and then where would we be. It’s amazing, doing this job. Being in Parliament. Y’know… For such a wholesomely lefty country as ours, it’s amazing just how many people have a skeleton or three locked away. It’s just such a promising career your young Ben has…”

Hernández left it hanging as Edwards nodded and hurried away. The Minister and Martino edged along a row of seats to avoid joining a conga line.

“So, sir… You want me to go and brief Donnelly and the boys on their actual, genuine, attitudes to, and experiences of, Starblaydia?”

“No. Well, yes, obviously, but it can wait. Might as well let ‘em have their moment, eh?”

***

“…how it has always been done, Señora Rósa, and if you cannot abide by those rules…”

“Hear, hear!”

“Right then. I believe Ms. van Dijk has the floor.”

“Thank you, Mr. Speaker. Will the President join with me in celebrating the most remarkable achievements of Lloyd Donnelly and the C&M Under-21 soccer team in winning the prestigious Di Bradini Cup, and does he agree that this shows just how important proper sports facilities for our young people really are?”

Lyndon Hernández allowed himself a wry grin, as President Anderson fumbled happily through his answer. It was always pleasing to see the Social Democratic & Green Party, bless ‘em, waste one of their questions at the mid-week PQT with a sports-related issue. And even better to see some of the frontbenchers from their partners in Opposition, the Modern Liberals, fidget in their seats. It was not so very long ago at all that their own Sport spokesman was querying the whole concept of C&M participating in international sport. Hernández had agreed with them whole-heartedly of course, but it was still lovely to see them squirm.

He caught the eye of a Dixons steward, and turned away from the row of TVs in the shop window. After a few days away in Starblaydia he was enjoying the wares of what he considered to be the only coffee-and-croissants emporium on the Upper Claude in Central Albrecht worth speaking of. In the race between cutting-edge politics and mid-morning refreshments, the Viennoiserie won every time. Plus, he had the morning’s edition of the Albrecht Republican, a paper so liberal-left it was practically fascist. Even the editor admitted it was virtually a parody, these days. Hernández loved it. It was the chattering classes chattering to themselves, and he felt it was important that someone kept an ear on them.

In the Minister’s opinion; it had been a good article, Edwards’. All ‘triumph over adversity’ and that. Detailed descriptions of all the St Samuel chances, politely refraining from mentioning too many of the Small Blues’. Edwards had even managed to make out that the two goals had been pretty damn lucky, which pushed credibility a bit. But Hernández knew it didn’t matter. Candelariasians prided themselves on their scepticism about government, the telly and newspapers alike; but when ‘experts’ said something, it was generally believed without question. Tracker Edwards really could say black was white, and his readers would be lining up to add that blue was probably red and that yellow, it most respects, was basically purple.

There’d been no street parties, and very little in the way of bunting. The CMASA had been lent on a tad to stress that it was rather disrespectful to the senior team, who had a Cup of Harmony knock-out match with the Vephrese to come and needed the nation’s full attention. Plus, good ol’ Rueben Queseda at Social Affairs had decided this was a good day to make bad news very public indeed. There was nothing like half a dozen dangerous sexual deviants being accidentally released early to dampen the mood of celebration, particularly ones who targeted busy streets. Granted; they’d found their freedom a month or so, and had since all been rounded up and popped back into detention already, but still…

He flicked through the Republican, noticing the Opinion piece beside a report on the impending collapse of the Liverpool England government. “How can we expect to take our rightful place in international politics when the progress of fluid time continues so slow here?” it wondered. “The successes of the use of controlled time dilation in domestic and international football have shown that we can step up to the plate! Is it not time to drag the Candelarias kicking and screaming into the modern Worlds?” A plural, Hernández noted. That’s brave. The couple of random, push-your-luck mentions of the initialised ESF in the column didn’t go unnoticed either.

The Chair of the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Rushmori Agricultural Subsidies rolled his eyes, drank up his coffee and finished his pastry-based elevenses. He stood up, tucked the Republican under an arm and began to walk briskly, back in the direction of the Ministry.