NationStates Jolt Archive

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What it says on the box...

Please post rosters in this thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=540048). Scores will also be posted there.

"...the crash is believed to be the result of a bug in the program overseeing public transportation. More on this story as it develops. Now, here's Nigel Swumpley in Redswyth, Kelssek."

"Thanks, Sally. These are tumultuous times to be a Plutonian: following the cessation of our region, Math, the government has been slowly eroding. The United Nations has recently reclassified us as a "Civil Rights Lovefest", with unprecedented personal freedoms.

It's easy to yearn for a simpler age, one when humans themselves were on top of the world-all the worlds, perhaps. And there is certainly simplicity in the ice rink: a pristine surface, untouched by human skates, only to be scratched up and resurfaced again. Here in Kelssek-also dubbed a "Civil Rights Lovefest"-twenty-five teams will soon be lacing up to begin a new tournament. Plutoni's team has grown since its victory over Aurendia to end its first foray into the international sporting scene. Perhaps the inspiration of these athletes can lead us to hope for our nation. Plutoni will have the chance to play the hosts themselves, but first will face off against the Elves Security Forces. Hope to see you next week when the puck drops."

"Thanks, Nigel. Meanwhile, the disenfranchised Gun Owners of Plutoni have petitioned City Hall..."

Press Release.

From: Ministry of Propaganda

To: Mallatarsland Times.

Mallatarsland’s National Hockey team is today leaving to play in the Hockey World Cup. This is a first for Mallatarsland as we take our place on the World Stage. Although new to the game as this is our inaugural year, the team is expected to perform well. As an incentive bonus, if they come back with the Trophy, each player will be given a meat coupon for their whole family and an extra day off work.

OOC: Well, it's certainly nice to see such buzz around this event... Anyway, the first scorination will be posted at around 13 UTC.

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James Dawson: "And moving away from football. As we near the start of the 4th World Cup of Ice Hockey, in Kelssek, the Federal Ice Hockey Board has announced the team to represent Liverpool England in its first foray into international ice hockey since the end of the Cherry Cup. Earlier, Kenny Díaz spoke to the second line left wing, Daniel Grimm, after team practice."

KD: "It must be an amazing feeling to get called up to represent the nation at this stage."

DG: "Definitely. I was floored when I heard the news. We've been out of international ice hockey for a good while now. I remember watching the Cherry Cup when I was younger, it's absolutely thrilling that I now have the chance to play at a similar stage."

KD: "Of course, there's been some controversy over your selection, because you're not actually from Liverpool England."

DG: "To be honest I expected it, but I've lived here since I was three and I feel every bit a citizen of this country. I'm on the second line, it's absolutely brilliant and amazing I can't begin to describe, and I'll go out there and play my best and prove these critics wrong."

KD: "You have a tough group."

DG: "Yes, but at any sport at international level there are no such things as easy groups. Every opponent will pose a unique challenge that we will have to overcome, and I'm ready, and the team is ready, to go out there and put the country back up amongst the big boys."

JD: "Kenny joins me now. Kenny, this is a big test for this group of players."

KD: "Definitely. None of them have any international experience, and most of them play at the semi-professional level in Liverpool England's Federal Ice Hockey League. None of them are full professionals but you can see in them the willingness to go out there and perform."

JD: "Who's their biggest test?"

KD: "Everyone, really, as this team is absolutely going to jump in at the deep end."

JD: "Thanks, Kenny. Kenny Díaz, in Langlois in Kelssek."

Scores for day 1 are up (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13128112&postcount=13)

"...realizing the meaninglessness of dividing the nation by area, is likely to deny the request. Over to Nigel Swumpley with an update on the Plutonian ice hockey team's performance."

"If you'll remember-and if you don't, a clip is available online-not so long ago when the team arrived, our country's very location was up in the air. But times have changed quickly: as we bounce around, defying UN legislation, we have of course formed a new region. And the hockey team is increasingly becoming a symbol of our increasingly bright future.

The Exhibition Centre in Kelssek, is serving as the Plutonian home stadium: it will host two out of the team's next three matches and just hosted a skillful exhibition of the frigid game. Plutoni was facing Elves Security Forces, a team that competed in all previous editions of the World Cup of Ice Hockey, in contrast to Plutoni's single previous participation.

It was the experienced team that opened the scoring in the first period, when a defender dug it out of the corner and passed sharply to a forward just itching to cross the blue line. A nice pass to another forward, and pretty soon, the puck was in the net.

Plutoni would not equalize until the second period, when Willard Sprunk flicked the puck into the top of the goal. An Elven penalty later on meant Plutoni was on the power play, and Brian Penrose took full advantage. Plutoni took the lead, but it wouldn't last, as a third-line goal in the third period retied the score.

Plutoni will stay in the city of Redswyth for the next match against hosts Kelssek. A good result will certainly keep spirits high. Back to you, Sally."

"Thanks. In other news, the B Nis 2 Animals society continues their protest against fur clothing..."

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Simple victory for Kelssek in World Cup's opening game


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Gary Bavarillo (centre) celebrates scoring Kelssek's second goal with linemates Sydney Crawford (left) and Daniel McKellon (right).


CLAYQUOT - Kelssek's campaign in the fourth World Cup of Ice Hockey got off to a good start with a solid win against Jaredcohenia, cheered on by a capacity crowd of over 16,000 at the Portage Arena here last night.

Playing in the first game of the tournament, which traditionally involves the host nation's team, Kelssek cruised to victory over a Jaredcohenia team largely composed of unknowns.

Pierre Dubois scored first, also recording the first goal of the tournament. Gary Bavarillo ended a second to close out the first period, following several minutes of heavy pressure on the Jaredcohenia defence, which buckled under the onslaught and allowed the Dragons left wing to waltz into the slot and fire a high wrist shot over the goalie's shoulder.

Severin Jeanne then added a powerplay tally, showing great hand-eye coordination to tip a deflection from Colin Calderwood's point shot, and Stephane Lefevere slammed home a slapshot from the high slot to make the score 4-0 before Jaredcohenia bagged a consolation goal in the third to deny John Baron the shutout.

Plutoni, a team on the up, are the next test for the Blueleafs and will probably be one of the more important games of the group stage, as they showed by holding Elves Security Forces to a 2-2 draw in the other Group B game last night. The game will be played in Redswyth on Sunday.

CORNELIU SPORTS NETWORK

"Welcome once again to the wonderful world of Hockey ladies and gentlemen. The Corneliu Penguins are set to take on the worlds best in their quest for their first world cup title. "

"That's right Bill. The Corneliu Penguins are led by Head Coach, General Thomas Peterson. Thomas is a retired general of the Corneliuan Army and has a strong sense of disciplin that we will see from our beloved Pens this year. Shall we meet them Bill?"

"Let us meet them before we tell our viewers how day number 1 went."

"Alright so first our three goalies. They are 1st Lt. Dennis Jones from Featherston City. Next is Cadet 4th Class Bob Roberts from Richmond. He is the youngest player on the team. And our last Goalie is Chief Master Sargent Greg Parker."

"Thank you for introducing us to the Goalies Roger. And now for the Defensemen. They are:

Sargent Eric Keller
WO 1st Class Nathan Smith
Tech Sargent Bill Collins
Captain Ray Steadmore
2nd Lt. Kevin Thompson
Private Aaron Testa
Airman Carl Jones
Senior Chief Master Sargent James Featherston
1st Lt. Samuel Adams
Cadet 1st Class Alfred Alexander"

"Now we have our wingmen. They are:

Chief Warrent Officer Lawrence Thomas
Major Greg Sheridan
2nd Lt Michael Johnson
Cadet 3rd Class Jacob Forrestal
Sargent David Nimitz
Corporal Peter Halsey
1st Lt. Fredrick McCain
Captain Travis Jacobson"

"And last but not least, our centers. They are:

Lt. Col. Daniel Walker, who is the team captain this year."

"He's also one of the youngest LC in Corneliuan Military History"

"1st Lt. Jason Harris
Cadet 1st Class Alex Carson
Master Sargent Brett Larson"

"There you have it. The Penguins of Corneliu."

"Now let us update you on the first day of Competition. In Group A play, Liverpool England came out of the gates early and utterly destroyed St. Samuel 4-0. This one was not even close."

"no it was not close. St. Samuel has to bounce back in their next game or they could find themselves going home early this year. In the Other group A match Qazok defeated Lovisa 2-1 in a thriller."

"In Group B, the group that we are in, Kelssek defeated Jaredcohenia 4-1. Kelseek showed that they will be a force to be reckoned with this year and will probably move on to the next phase of this tournament. As for jaredcohenia, this game was not their best and they have to do better which will be tough for they will be playing Corneliu and our first match of this World Cup."

"That game will indeed be one to watch. In the other Group B, Elves Security Forces and Plutoni tied their game at 2 apiece. This was one was even more of a thriller as either team could have won in Overtime."

"That's all for today ladies and gentlemen. Please come back for match day 2 and remember that you can catch all the Penguin and Group B games here on the Corneliu Sports Network. Good Night and God Bless."

(anyone figure out what Language I'm using yet?)

In de openingsgelijke van de 4de Kop van de Wereld van het Hockey van het Ijs, sloeg Qazox Lovisa 2-1 in twee de 3de periodedoelstellingen door Aieai. Het eenzame doel voor Lovisa werd eveneens genoteerd tijdens de 3de periode. Gaols van Aieai kwamen in 4:10 en 5:19 van de periode. Qazox is 1-0-0 in Groep A.

Bij andere het openen om actie:

Groep A:
Liverpool England 4-0 St Samuel

Groep B
Kelssek 4-1 Jaredcohenia
Elves Security Forces 2-2 Plutoni

OOC: It's Dutch, isn't it? MD2 Scores will be posted at 13 UTC. Additionally, MD4 is being brought forward to 16 October.

EDIT: Matchday 2 scores are now up.

Well the hockey players from Taeshan Have been in kellsek for a couple of days before there first match."The food here is great, but not has good as chef ramseys back in taeshan"said Ken Deim The second line defenseman.
Deim relly did like the food as he scored a HAT TRICK in the 1 quarter of thhe game. On his first shot Jeremy sauter his Dline mate got an assist. Then he broke through the d lifted the puck of the ice with his stick and skated behind the net and put it in the other side. Finally Joel slater Gave him a pass to the blue line and he made his hat trick. Ikoville later scored in the third.
Goal Scorers-Deim 3
Assists-Sauter 1- Slater-1

Mallatarsland Express

Sports pages

In our inaugural match in the Ice Hockey World Cup, Mallatarsland were unlucky to be defeated after a superb effort by the team.



Mallatarsland Times

In our inaugural match in the Ice Hockey World Cup, Mallatarsland were unlucky to be defeated after a superb effort by the team.


Mallatarsland Sun

In our inaugural match in the Ice Hockey World Cup, Mallatarsland were unlucky to be defeated after a superb effort by the team.

Press Release from Ministry of Propaganda

In our inaugural match in the Ice Hockey World Cup, Mallatarsland were unlucky to be defeated after a superb effort by the team.

Vanek'ian Times

VICKERY, KELSSEK-Our VDB national hockey team sweeped Dannistan 2-4 yesterday, after an amazing hat trick by budding superstar Thomas Vanek, and an amazing point shot by defenceman Robert Pendragon on the powerplay. This is a great way to start off the tourney, as the VDB are in a group with Milchama, Bazalonia, Squornshelous, and (hopefully) the first victim, Dannistaan. Dannistaan scored a goal right off the bat, as their starting center went down and scored with a nice deke off Vanek'ian goalie Felipe Romney, predicting bad things to come. Another goal was scored later in the 2nd period, making the game 2-0.

The 3rd period made the rest of the game look silly. Thomas Vanek came right down with an outstanding goal, faking past the Dannistaanian defender and just slapping the puck through the five hole. Vanek came again with a tip from a slap shot at the point, deflecting the puck and having it hit the crossbar above the goalie's blocker and in. A Dannistaan then shot the puck over the Plexiglass. In his own zone. Powerplay!

The faceoff was won by the Vanek'ians inside the blue line. Vanek passed it back to Sabriel Abhorsen, who passed it across to Robert Pendragon, which was onetimed into the lower left corner of the net. The score was 3-2 VDB!

For the finale to a great game, when the Dannistaans pulled their goalie, Vanek absolutely nailed the Dannistaan puck carrier and shot the puck into the empty net from center ice! The game was paused as hats ran onto the rink. As Vanek'ian tradition, Vanek chose his favorite, and it was put into the locker room, as was the puck.

30 seconds were left, and the Vanek'ians just simply passed it back and forth until the game was over. Thomas Vanek earned his first ever hat trick in a winning effort.

Matchday 3 scores are now up (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13133145&postcount=21).

(ooc to Kelssek: YEP it was Dutch, so now I got to go back to english :()

Kibbutz Today

Qazox is off to a great start at the 4th World Cup of Hockey following a 4-2 win oer St. Samuel. 2 goals each from Ayayoeeindstrd, which came at 3:19 of the 1st and 12:39 of the 2nd; and from Eeyeesstvl, which came at 5:19 of the 3rd and an empty-net at 19:52.

Up next for Qazox is Liverpool England, one of the better teams in the tourney, a win over LE will almost put the team into the next round.

Goals for Qazox so far:
Aieai: 2
Ayayoeeindstrd: 2
Eeyeesstvl: 2

"What's this? Bazalonia 3 - Milchama 6"

"I didn't think we had any soccer friendlies with the Milchamians"

"We don't, this is the World Cup of Hockey."

"Field?"

"No Ice."

"Oh, crap I totally forgot about that. I suppose I better write a story about it or something."

"I suppose you better"

--- An Hour Later ---

"This is BazSports and welcome to NewsToday, Bazalonia's top sports news show. The World Cup of Ice Hockey had started withouut much attention, 3 matchdays have gone past and yet no one has really even noticed that we are competing in it. However only 1 game has been played by the Bazalonian team in Kelssek and it was against Milchamians by 3 goals to six, the Milchamians scoring three unanswered goals in the last period. Also in our group are Vanek Drury Briers, Daanistaan and Squornshelous.

The Bazalonian Icealops, the nickname that the team has taken on is receiving little acknowledgement that they are even playing but to them I say keep going and do your nation proud."

(OOC to Kelssek: the goals for and against Plutoni in this game haven't been added into the table. Not at all a big deal, as the goal differential remains zero, but just for the record.)

"...representing 2 Welz! 4 Welz?. And now, over to sports, where Nigel Swumpley is live after a thrilling game."

"Thrilling would perhaps be an understatement. Every minute of this five-five tie was exhilarating. Plutoni took on the hosts, Kelssek, in a packed Exhibition Centre. It would be the latter who opened scoring, with Laurent Oberforsky's goal off an assist from captain Neville Keanes, only six minutes into the game. But within ten more, Plutoni had equalized through Sprunk on a pass from Orwix. As time ran low, Sven Stefanovic unleashed a slapshot from far back that Scott Pappas easily deflected-but Marko Russlund was there to put it in. 2-1 Kelssek, and it was only the first period.

Things got nasty when play restarted. A dubious check from Erwin Avery provoked Rob Fletcher, who swiftly retaliated. Both were sent to the penalty box, and it was a 4-on-4."

"Hey!"

"What? Anyhow, Doko Mool scored two goals in the second period, but Keanes, off a pass from Calderwood, kept Kelssek even. It was after the third goal that Richard Palindromi was done for the night, and Julian Lobachevsky made his debut. And he's with me right now: hi, Julian."

"Hello."

"Had you expected to play?"

"Truthfully, no. I knew Kelssek were a good team, so I figured we'd stick with Richard."

"Well, it appears as if Plutoni has a team to reckon with as well. The fourth period, though not marred by fouls, had some of the fiercest action yet. Ludwig Pilipik gave Plutoni the lead a hundred seconds after play restarted, but Kelssek struck back. Phillip Adams would score two in quick succession before Orwix could tie the score at five apiece.

And then came another sparkling overtime, 4-on-4-"

"Oh, sure."

"Sorry, Julian, uh...5-on-5, then, in contrast to, um, 6-on-6?"

"Yes, precisely."

"Ah...okay then. While both sides managed well-placed shots on goal, Lobachevsky and Duborny for Kelssek had no trouble with them. Five minutes of open ice, and the game was in the record books as a 5-5 draw.

Next up for Plutoni is their only game of the qualifiers away from Redswyth: they will face Corneliu 2 in Great Bear Arena, Latrobe. Until then, I'm Nigel Swumpley, in Redswyth, Kelssek."

"Thanks, Nigel. And now for the weather..."

CORNELIU SPORTS NETWORK

"Welcome back to Kelssek, I'm Bill Waters along with Trevor Jones. Day 2 got off to a rip roaring start with the first of two games to be played here on the CSN. Jaredcohenia bounced back from their 4-1 loss and defeated our beloved Penquins 2-1."

"It was hard fought but the Penguins did leave many opportunities. The Pens scored first with a simmering slapshot from Team Captain Lt. Col. Walker from the point. He was assisted by Major Sheridan."

"In the 2nd period, the team defense fell apart. Jaredcohenia scored two goals in a span of 90 seconds. This prompted a goalie change from star goalie 1st Lt. Jones for Cadet 4th Class Roberts. All throughout the 2nd period, Cadet Roberts turned away shot after shot to keep Corneliu in the game."

"The third period was all Corneliu as Jaredcohenia seemed to be on their last legs."

"That's right but their goalie was just as sharp in this period as he was in the 2nd and stopped everything the Penguins shot at him. At the end of the game, it was Jaredcohenia 2 and the Penguins 1."

"Now let us turn to the second game of the day, Kelssek vs. Plutoni. This game was a slug and scoring fest. In the end, the game was won by nobody as both teams remained knotted at 5 apiece when the final horn sounded.

"Why have we left the publicity so late?"

"Well... most people know we're broadcasting it anyway."

"So what's the point in more ads then?"

"Er..."

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Matchday 4 scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13139070&postcount=23)

Dannistrian Sun, National Edition
Special Sports Supplement on Ice Hockey World Cup

Firstly, most people in Dannistaan will not care that the World Cup of Ice Hockey Championship is going on in Kelssek. Secondly, most people will not know that the World Cup of Ice Hockey Championship is going on in Kelssek. It is a sad fact that in Dannistaan, they only care about four sports, which are (In descending order of importance):


Football (Soccer)
Rugby
Cricket
Motorsports (Especially Rallying)


Ice Hockey is seen as an eccentric sport that only people who hate the hot weather or who are American/Canadian are interested in. The only state in Dannistaan that has any sort of serious following is East Dannistaan, and even then it gives way to the football tournaments. Most just do not care enough or even know enough about the national ice hockey team to support them. In fact, many don't even know the team actually exists.

Despite this the team soldiers on. And it really soldiers on. For it has a really poor record. Because it consists of East Dannistrians it is often a target for the hatred of the Bai Lungese immigrants, who themselves are a target for East Dannistrian hatred. This is not helped by the comments made by some players in the past. And even when it is not infuriating ethnic minorities with it's implied and explicit racism, it is creating controversy by its lack of anything approaching decent, nay, mediocre playing skills. There is no way round it. The national hockey team is rubbish. Rubbish beyond belief. They could not play their way out of a paper bag even if they tried. This is a depressing indicator of player quality in the domestic tournaments. In one such game between the "For'af Tigers" and the "Ourad Outlaws", the game continued for two hours on suddent death with no clear winner, the two teams being equally appalling.

So where does this leave the national side? It has little to chose in terms of good players. And most of those show little if any talent. If there is anything to redeem the squad, it is the fact that usually it has an above average defensive side that can see off the best of challenges, most of the time. This was not the case this time round. I'm not sure what it is but the national team this time round had an awful defence line up. Something went very, very wrong during the selection trials, methinks. The godawful truth revealed itself on the second day of the tournament, when Dannistaan faced the Vanek Drury Brieres team.

Or rather, Dannistaan faced the music and danced. Badly.

For you see, although things started well, with Donald Gah'ns actually scoring twice against the Vanek'ian goalie to give a 2-0 advantage, the game fell apart straight after. Thomas Vanek, the Vanek'ian star player made a mockery of the defender Andrew Hyslop before slotting it home. And worse was to come. Winger Har'lou Fredrickson proceded to get penalised for a mistake that saw the puck go past the plexiglass screens in their own area, giving the Vanek'ian a powerplay advantage.

In a fit of madness, the goalie was pulled, leaving the goal open to all comers. This was the last straw which saw the supporters jeer at the team and leave the stands before the match had concluded. There is no excuse, nor should their be. The team was c**p. Its tactics were c**p. The coaching was c**p. My son could do better. And he is only 3 and barely able to walk.

The team left the stadium with their tails between their legs, only to encounter an extremely hostile crowd which attacked the bus as it left. A foreboding of things to come.

The second match had the side face Milchama. This was going to require all of Hal'vo's devine intervention as Milchama is the top team that has won all of its other matches. Sure enough, the Dannistrian team were made to look really bad as the Milchama centre scored two goals in the space of five minutes. Only luck and sheer grit stopped them scoring anymore for the first period. In the second, something must have fired up Donald Gah'ns as he tapped one straight past all the Milchama defence. Bou'mahn Meyers proceded to follow this up ten minutes later. The score now, 2-2.

Then the Milchama team decided it was no longer joking and proceded to steamroller the national squad into the ground as the entire offensive line smashed five goals in within ten minutes of each other. The Dannistrian team had no answer to them, only standing helpless as the pucks flew past. Things were made worse when the goalie, Lok'ii Err'in, had to be replaced. His long standing ankle injury playing up again. Goalie substitute Stanley "Smithy" Caldwell tried his best to stop the onslaught but he ended up letting four goals in. Once again, the few supporters had enough and left. And once again, upon the team leaving the arena, they were jeered at and faced mass pelting of rubbish.

I don't know if I can keep watching this. Frankly this is awful beyond words and a sad state of affairs. Mind you, the Dannistrians probably do not care and are only interested in seeing if the national football (soccer) squad make it through the next World Cup qualifiers...

-Patrick Rogers
Dannistrian Sun Sports Correspondant

"Welcome to IceSports Today, tonight we'll look at the continuing saga that is the 4th World Cup of Ice Hockey in Kelssek. I'm your host Jones Alverson.

The newly nicknamed Icealopes have played their second game in 4 matchdays, facing the team from Squornshelous, a tight game by both teams in the first 2 periods saw the teams equal on 3-3 goals each...."

The TV suddenly went blank but soon came on again... "We are currently experiencing technical difficulties... Please stand by..." was displayed on the TV screen.

"Ah, what's this crap?"

"I dunno, BazSports down."

"Check the other channels..."

The channels where flipped through... all of them the same...

"What's going on we are not going to have any Television sports news or asnything. Even PINA's down... What are we going to do?"

"I dunno, read, go somewhere else?"

"like where?"

"Why not Dannistaan"

"Huh? Where's that?"

"I dunno, but surely we'd be able to find something about it on the net?"

"Oh, what about following it on the internet? We've got broadband we can watch it online."

"Yeah right, as if, we're going to Daanistaan and that's it."

"Uhm, Do we have Passports?"

"I'm sure we've got them somewhere."

"I just have to find them.... there here somewhere!"

Dannistrian Sun, National Edition
Stop press special report

"'Win or die', manager told"

Bill Zah'pha, the manager of the Dannistrian National Ice Hockey team, has been told by the Dannistrian Ice Hockey Council, the body that regulates the sport and runs domestic championships, to either "win or die", according to a press release. The DIHC warned Mr. Zah'pha that the national squad faces a very stark choice. Either leave the "World Cup of Ice Hockey" with at least a single win or be crushed and face having all funding cut off. The DIHC also warned it cannot keep pumping money into a "sinking ship" and said if the team does not improve it will not hesitate to completely disband the national squad. It is not clear whether the DIHC will completely disband the team and no longer support competition on the international stage or if they will replace all players and the management team.

Meanwhile, Zah'pha himself has been preparing the team for its next match against the team from Squornshelous, due to be played on the 20th October in Burnaby. He admitted the team has had severe problems and is taking drastic measures to correct them.
"I know things are bad. I know we aren't doing well. I know we must win at least one game or else the end will come for us very quickly. This is no longer a matter of national pride. This is now a matter of life and death. If we cannot win a single game, then the future of Ice Hockey in Dannistaan will be limited to repeats on TV and radio commentary of foreign matches. We must win one game or else we will literally have nothing. There is no other way. I know we are on the ropes and there are only two choices left. Do. Or die."

The fans whoever are not so impressed, with many calling for Bill Zah'pha's resignation after the national squads long drought of victories. Some are going as far to hope that the team does lose so that the team would be disbanded as punishment for the lack of any sucessful games.

Kibbutz Today

Qazox becomes the 3rd team to clinch a spot in the next round following a thrilling 6-4 win over Liverpool England today. Goals from 6 different players, including 3 third period goals sent the Pheonix into the next round.

Glenn Singley scored twice for LE to open the game, at 5:17 and 8:23, giving LE a 2-0 lead before Yoeeuoeckndpc scored at 15:53 to cut the lead to 2-1. The second period saw Qazox take a 3-2 lead on goals by Knnhd at 4:08 and Oaioullygsh at 7:03(PP). But LE's Shawn Seidel tied it at 3-3 with a goal
5 second before the end of the period, setting up a great 3rd period.

LE took thier final lead of the game at 4-3 at 1:23 (PP) when James Albertson scored just 2 seconds after the powerplay started. Qazox re-tied it at 4 when Uieieistdll scored at 10:16. Ayayoeeindstrd put Qazox ahead for good at 15:54 when his shot deflected off of Terry Landon and into the net. Eeyeesstvl added a empty net goal at 19:48 to finish off the game.

Up next for Qazox is Conraski, the only other unbeaten in the Pool. A win would clinch the Pool Title for Qazox, while a draw leaves the door open for Conraski to clinch the top spot.

Goals for Qazox so far:
Ayayoeeindstrd: 3
Eeyeesstvl: 3 (2 EN)
Aieai: 2
Yoeeuoeckndpc: 1
Knnhd: 1
Oaioullygsh: 1
Uieieistdll: 1

Dannistrian Sun, National Edition
Special Sports Supplement on Ice Hockey World Cup

"Dannistaan finally wins a match, 3-2"

Today the Dannistrian national ice hockey team managed to pull off what seemed to be an impossible feat for them and win a match. In a surprise result, the squad pulled off a win against the side from Squornshelous, winning 3-2. Bill Zah'pha congratulated his players, saying that they have made him very proud and he hopes they could repeat that performance in their next match against Bazalonia on the 21st.

Now, some may argue that beating the Squornshelous team should be no mean feat as they were not one of the top teams. However pre-match, it was ranked higher than Dannistaan in the standings table and the team were not about to hand an easy victory to the BYBs.

The match itself was something of a shaky start, when the Squornshelous smashed home a goal during the first 10 minutes of the first period. The defence only just holding on. Centre offence Donald Gah'ns then shot one into the back of the net to level the score 1-1. The second period saw the Squornshelous offence breeze past the defence to make it 2-1 to them, leaving the fans fearing another whitewash. Then the defence line of Bou'mahn Meyers and Andrew Hyslop was swapped for Carter "Castle" Smith and Wang Bin Mei. This resulted in an almost immediate change of performance as the defence line suddenly looked a heck of a lot more impressive, deflecting all shots made. Then winger Har'lou Fredrickson slotted one home, making the score 2-2 at the end of the second period.

The Squornshelous team looked confused and dismayed and during the third period came dangerously close to winning, constantly putting the Dannistrian defence under pressure. However, the ever reliable pairing of Smith and Wang did their utmost to prevent anything getting past them. Then, with only 1 minute left on the clock, the Dannistrian team went into all attack mode with the winger Chen Fai Mei screaming past the Squornshelous and swipe one past the Squornshelous goalie to make the score 3-2. On the final whistle the crowd errupted into a cheer so loud you could've thought the Dannistrian team had won the final. Bill Zah'pha later said in the post match press conference that it was an amazing feeling to finally get a victory after a long drought without any satisfactory results.
"It is really important that we win a match to prove we are capable of results. We need to do more of that to show the DIHC that we are not a sinking ship and we are redeemable. We need to show that we can be a viable and competitive team given enough support. I would like to thank the fans for sticking with us through thick and thin. This has been a testing few months but we can only improve from here on."

In For'af, the State Capital of East Dannistaan where Ice Hockey is more closely followed, but also in the National Capital Dannistra Onn, there have been massive street parties in celebration of the victory. An unprecedented sight has been seen on the streets of For'af with East Dannistrians and Bai Lungese celebrating side by side without any incident. I personally believe that the teams win means more than securing funding for the sport, it may very well help unite two divided communities in Dannistaan.

-Patrick Rogers
Dannistrian Sun Sports Correspondant

"...expected to legislate on a variety of issues. Now over to Kelssek for the ice hockey update."

"Hello again: this is Nigel Swumpley in Latrobe. The Plutonian ice hockey team won 5-3 over Corneliu 2...or maybe just plain old Corneliu, I'm not sure. Whoever they were,they looked impressive, even taking the first lead: Daniel Walker received a nice pass from Fredrick McCain and sent it in. But Plutoni would quickly rally: Pilipik and Sprunk made it 2-1 through the first period.

It was Plutoni's game from there. Parry and Penrose each scored before David Nimitz answered. In the third, a slapshot from Peter Halsey created a momentary scare, but Palindromi saved. Orwix would notch the final Plutonian goal before Brett Larson's response. Nevertheless, 5-3 was the final.

Penrose's goal came during a 4-on-4...or 5-on-5, I suppose, if you're Lobachevsky. Quilker's slashing penalty was quickly revenged by Greg Sheridan, and both went to the penalty box. In some ways, Plutoni was lucky to keep it even: the entire Corneliu team is in the military, and would surely have outclassed Plutoni had it been a physical game.

With their win-only their second, ever-Plutoni briefly ascended into first place in Group B. But victories for the Elves Security Forces and Kelssek saw those two teams rise to the top. However, Plutoni will finish out the group phase against Jaredcohenia, taking control of their destiny. Until then, I'm Nigel Swumpley, signing off."

"Are you going to change your name after the group stage?"

"...No...Why do you people have to be so literal about everything?!"

Mallatarsland Qualifies for next Phase

Today, there was an unexpected turn up for the books when the Mallatarsland Mods won their second game and qualified for the next phase of the Tournamnet. The stars once again were the Stottle brothers who made the game their own with a performance second to none. It seems that we are now on a roll and appear to be peaking at the right time.

Dannistrian Sun, National Edition
Special Sports Supplement on Ice Hockey World Cup

"Catharsis on the rink"

Well, who would've thought it? After many months, nay, years of disappointment, after all the pain and shame, after the jokes and insults, the Dannistrian National Ice Hockey Team finds itself in the upper echelons of the World Cup of Ice Hockey. This from a team which a few months ago were finding themselves being beaten by young school students and were providing ample material for stand-up comedians up and down Dannistaan and ultimately were given the choice of either suceed or be disposed of into the trash heap. It would seem the fear of annihilation and failure has driven the Black, Yellow and Blue ducks to heights unbeknownst to them since the "Rinks of Glory" days, where a nascent colonial Dannistrian Ice Hockey team stood up against the might of the national British squad in 1965 and pulped them 11-0. Sadly it seems independence dulled the skills of the national side with loss after loss mounting up. In the 70's, the BYB's were mediocre at best. In the post 1982 Civil War era, the BYB's were hit by mass distrust amongst team members and in the 90's they could not pull themselves off the bottom of the world rankings.

Today however marks a massive turnaround. In their latest match, the Dannistrians stood against the might of the Bazalonia, knowing fine well that to lose to them would surely see them out. After seven tense minutes in the first period, the Bazalonia Left Winger drew first blood, only to be matched 4 minutes later by Centre Donald Gah'ns by a magnificent shot that seemed to come from nowhere. The second period saw the Bazalonia team edge ahead once more only to be matched by Centre Donald Gah'ns again. The new defence line up of Carter "Castle" Smith and Wang Bin Mei creating the now infamous "Wall of Death" which saw nothing get past for the remainder of the period. However the illusion of the wall was shattered in the third period as the Bazalonia Centre pushed one home by clever strategy, dancing around Smith. It looked bad for 12 tense minutes as the clock ticked down. Once again, the teams savior in the form of Right Winger Chen Fai Mei who in the dying minutes of the game screamed past all the Bazalonia players and slammed one for the national side, making the score 3 all. The whistle went and the crowd went wild for what was an amazing performance.

That last result means Dannistaan moves into the next round of knock outs. As far as the team goes, it's now in uncharted territory, as no national post-independence Dannistrian team has made it this far ever. Bill Zah'pha, manager of the team, knows the BYB's are in for a tough time.
"As far as I'm concerned, we already won. To make it this far is fantastic and nothing can take that away from us now as far as I'm concerned. To make such a turnaround in such a small space of time is unheard of in Dannistrian Ice Hockey history. We will try to get as far as we can. I can't guarantee anything except for this. We will do our very best to get as far as we can, as it is the very least we can do for our fans."

And the sudden turn around of the team has caught the attention of the nation. Previously, I wrote that many Dannistrians do not care about Ice Hockey. But with the last game, viewings increased fivefold as 25 million tuned in to watch the game. The sudden interest is attributed to the teams surprise win against the Squornshelous. From here on it doesn't matter if the Dannistrian team are knocked out as in the eyes of the nation, they have turned from zero to hero. One sports equipment manufacturer has even put out a recent advert featuring a black and white photo of the national squad with the following quote attributed to Hal'vo, the local deity, and popularised by the late Prime Minister Har'ii Wilson.

"For darkness to conquer all, it must extinguish all light, even the most insignificant spot. But for light to conquer, it need only be a single small point, one small point, and it will win above all..."

"...will instead attend an all-human college. Here's Nigel Swumpley with a hockey update."

"Thanks, Sally. Plutoni advanced to the next round of the World Cup of Ice Hockey in Kelssek, beating Jaredcohenia 6-2 to rise to the top of Group B and remain undefeated.

Plutoni took a 3-0 lead in the first period, with Willard Sprunk scoring two goals and Tony Wolff one. Ludwig Pilipik scored early in the second period before Jaredcohenia's first goal of the game. They made it 4-2 in the third, but Pilipik and Georg Orwix put an end to the Jaredcohenian hopes.

Plutoni will play Mallatarsland next, in a best-out-of-three series. The Stottle dynasty is expected to characterize much of the twelfth seed's attack. Un...uh, uninterested in trying that again, I'm Nigel Swumpley. Back to the studio."

As Colin Calderwood dived in vain and the empty-net goal slid mercilessly into the crease, past the goal line, and into the cage, the crowd in the Great Bear Arena stood shell-shocked at the idea that the national team might not actually be all that good.

"I swear this thing is FIXED!" someone in the nosebleeds, but near to a TV mike, yelled.

---

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Blueleafs drop Game One
29 OCTOBER 2007 - LATROBE

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Kelssek are facing an uphill battle after losing Game One of the round-of-16 series 5-3 against Oliverry at the Great Bear, leaving home fans disappointed, but still hopeful...

"...be advised that some sporting events may contain spectators that televised viewers may find offensive."

"Thanks, Sally. After several days' rest, the ice hockey team came back in full force against Mallatarsland, winning 6-3 to begin the best-of-three series. Willard Sprunk began the scoring for Plutoni, but his goal was met by an equalizer from Lance Clarke. Plutoni bore down, and Ludwig Pilipik as well as Aiyangar Desai scored before the first period was out.

They would add on to their lead in the second, with a goal from Georg Orwix coming off a nice pass from Pierre Noddle. Gary Keane retaliated for Mallatarsland, but defender Marvin Quilker made it 5-2 in Plutoni's favor. The third saw goals from Doko Mool and Mallatarsland vice captain Steve Action, that last following an impressive burst of speed to meet a pass from Joshua Pintz.

Leading the series one-nothing, Plutoni's hopes will be high heading into the second game. Insert pithy sign-off here."

"Why are you bothering with pithy sign-offs?"

"It's a bit of fun, isn't it?"

"The last "bit of fun" we had with televised sports nearly ended in a lawsuit!"

"All right, I'll admit it...I got arrogant. I figured Plutoni would go farther on, so I'm saving my best segues for later in the tournament."

"Or you haven't thought of them yet."

"I'm Nigel Swumpley, in Kelssek."

"Umm, you know, the hockey team has been participating in the fourth World Cup of Hockey?"

"You sure?"

"Yo man, I am most def, they're playing the Sharks of Quakmybush in some sort of playoff thingy."

"Playoffs? Why the heck are there playoffs?"

"Seven Hells if I know Smald, it's what the hosting comittee in Kelssek decided to choose in their bid, and they were appointed it, so it's being used."

"Good point.

Soo, I assume we must being doing well if we're in the playoffs."

"Well, we were, but now we were defeated in two overtimes, in a six to five thriller. We have to win the next game to force a third game or else we're out."

"So, we have to win twice in a row? And how the heck is there an eleven goal hockey match and it not get air time?!!"

"Blame the VHA, they decided they didn't feel the squad was worth giving air time for. Though I hear that a group of fanatics are doing a pirate broadcast on the 'net."

"For reals?"

"Really Smald. Now, get your computer on, the game is going to start in twenty minutes, and with your crappy service and outdated machine, it may take that long just to get to the site!"

Kibbutz Today

Due to unforeseen logistical problems, the scores from the WCoH were delayed. In the final Match of the Group phase, Qazox defeated Conraski 5-2 to clinch the Group A title, setting up a Round of 16 match against Integrite. Qazox is seeded 2nd behind Milchama overall. The goals were scored by: Ayayoeeindstrd's 4th at 5:01 of the 1st period, Eeyeesstvl's 4th at 19:23 of the 1st period, Aieai's 3rd at 2:02(pp) of the 3rd, Yoeeuoeckndpc's 2nd at 7:11 of the 3rd and Knnhd's 2nd at 18:02 of the third.

Goals for Qazox so far:
Ayayoeeindstrd: 4
Eeyeesstvl: 4 (2 EN)
Aieai: 3
Yoeeuoeckndpc: 2
Knnhd: 2
Oaioullygsh: 1
Uieieistdll: 1

In the first Playoff game against Integrite, Qazox won easily, 4-1, with 2 goals each from Aieai (5:09, 2nd period and 11:09, 3rd period) and Knnhd (1:08 and 7:51 in the 3rd period) to take a 1-0 lead in the best of 3 series.

Playoff Goals:
Aieai: 2
Knnhd: 2

Kibbutz Today
QAZOX INTO SEMIFINALS

Qazox for the first time in 6 attempts, advanced to the Semifinals of the World Cup of Hockey with a 3-1 win in Game 2 against Integrite. The win leaves Qazox as the lone perfect team at 6-0-0, thanks to Milchama shockingly losing to 16th seed Dannistaan 1-3. Qazox awaits the winner of the Vanek Drury Brieres-Liverpool England series, which is tied at 1-1.

Qazox' goals were scored by: Rkpsiuio (PP) at 1:13 of the 1st period, D-ine-mey at 7:03 of the 2nd and Eeyeesstvl at 11:42 of the 2nd period.

Goals for Qazox in Group Play:
Ayayoeeindstrd: 4
Eeyeesstvl: 4 (2 EN)
Aieai: 3
Yoeeuoeckndpc: 2
Knnhd: 2
Oaioullygsh: 1
Uieieistdll: 1


Goals for Qazox in Playoffs:
Aieai: 2
Knnhd: 2
Rkpsiuio: 1
D-ine-mey: 1
Eeyeesstvl: 1

"And with that, Plutoni has just clinched its spot in the next round. The ice hockey team triumphed against Mallatarsland here in the False Creek Arena to ensure a series victory.

Plutoni, with the luxury of a previous victory, was playing to guarantee advancement. Mallatarsland had to avoid elimination, and they came prepared: goals from Steve Grable and Harry Stottle saw them grab a two-nothing lead before Plutoni fought back. After a penalty from Georg Orwix, Doko Mool scored shorthanded. Aiyangar Desai scored off a pass from Tony Wolff to open the second period, but Mallatarsland reclaimed the lead through a goal from Henry Janitor.

After Vlad Erlichson was sent to the box for checking, Ludwig Pilipik converted the penalty. Erlichson returned, but it didn't help: Willard Sprunk gave Plutoni their first lead of the game. Mool would score in the third to make it five-three. Desperate, the Mods swapped Dirk Face for an extra attack in the final minutes, putting all four Stottles on the ice. Gary didn't disappoint, scoring to make it 5-4, but that scoreline held, and Plutoni were through.

In the next round, the team will face the Icealops of Bazalonia. The only other team that has secured their place in the quarterfinals is Qazox. Back to you, Sally."

"Thanks, Nigel, and I can confirm that the next round will preempt live footage of a camera filming a screen displaying the camera's output. In other news..."

Dannistrian Sun, National Edition
Special Sports Supplement on Ice Hockey World Cup

"'We are confident' says manager"

In an interview today, Bill Zah'pha, manager of the Dannistrian national team, believes his men can do well in the deciding match against Milchama on Thursday.
"We are confident. I do believe we can keep a close score even if we lose. I would like to see a win. We all do. But the Milchama team is very hard. Our first encounter saw us get bruised by them. The last game in the second round playoffs was not such a whitewash. However, the fact we stood against them and won in our last match shows we can win if we keep our cool. We must keep our cool. Milchama is no longer kidding around with us now."
The BYB's face the Milchama team in a third match which could see the Dannistrian squad end up in the quarter finals or be knocked out. Either way the fans, who previously were extremely hostile to their team for a lack of playing ability, are now suddenly praising them as heroes for making it so far.

The 1 win and 1 loss for the Dannistrian team means Milchama and Dannistaan are level with 1 game a piece. The decider will be played tomorrow where a sell out crowd is expected. In the first knock out game, the Milchama offence breezed past the Dannistrians in the first and second periods to make the score 3-0. However, the Dannistrians were riled up enough into a frenzy that saw no further shots fly past their defence and Centre Donald Gah'ns tap 2 pucks past to make the final score 3-2 to Milchama. The second knock out game saw the Dannistrian team run a steamroller over the Milchama side, though initially it did not look that way as in the first 6 minutes of the first period the Milchama centre knocked one into the back of the net, leaving the initial score 1-0 to Milchama. A quick substitution was made which saw Carter "Castle" Smith and Wang Bin Mei take over the defence. They played the infamous "Wall of Death" which saw little chance for the Milchama team to score anything. The Dannistrian Centre Donald Gah'ns once again showed his prowess by skimming past all comers and leveling the score 1-1. However the real match of the day was the Bai Lungese origin Right Winger Chen Fai Mei as he tore past the Milchama defence in the middle of the second period to make the score 2-1 to Dannistaan. The crowd went completely wild on that score. Amazingly, he did it again near the end of the third period with one very smooth attacking move that saw the puck skim past all defenders. The score now 3-1, making the crowd roar with delight, especially given their indignant defeat in their first encounter with Milchama.

Fans have been arriving in Saint-Remy to cheer on the team as the BYB's make final preparations for Thursday. As they party into the night, one phrase is repeated amongst the fans.
"Cometh the hour, cometh the man..."

Dannistrian Sun, National Edition
Special Sports Supplement on Ice Hockey World Cup

"BYB's smash Milchama 6-1"

The Dannistrian National Ice Hockey team has knocked Milchama out of the World Cup of Ice Hockey in one of the greatest upsets of the tournament. In a thrilling match which saw goal after goal knocked into the net, the Black, Blue and Yellow Ducks showed a level of expertise and class not seen since the "Rinks of Glory" days. In the post match interview, manager Bill Zah'pha thanked his players once more.
"The players did fantastically against overwhelming odds. We can always improve, of course, but the fact that beat the Milchama side so decisively means something is working for us. We made significant changes to our tactics to allow ourselves to play more effectively and it is starting to pay off."
The spectacular result means that Dannistaan now is in the quarter-finals, which puts them in a position beyond even the wildest of dreams for many Dannistrian ice hockey fans. The BYB's next opponent is the Elves Security Forces national squad, a team which has proven itself to be very dangerous in many of its matches. Bill Zah'pha admits that the ESF team may be a problem.
"They are good. Very good. That's why we have to concentrate harder to win against them. There is no other way. We will keep practicing until we have every move, shot and block perfect."
The national team has been practicing all day before the match. Fans meanwhile have gathered around the Air Kelssek Centre in Kirkenes waiting to cheer the team on through its quest for glory.

The last match against Milchama meanwhile is a good omen. Although initially it was not the case. The Milchama offence trying to steamroller the Dannistrians into the ground by scoring the first goal within 3 minutes. However a quick substitution later and Carter "Castle" Smith and Wang Bin Mei made it clear that nothing else will get past them for the remainder of the game. Donald Gah'ns quickly turned up the heat, scoring twice on the 13th and 19th minutes of the first period. The real man of the match though was the Right Winger Chen Fai Mei as he whacked them home, gliding past the Milchama defence to hit one home in the 4th minute of the second period. Then 10 minutes later from that, he scored again. He then tapped home another shot seconds from the end of the second period, making the score 5-1. The final straw came in the dying seconds of the third period as Left Winger Har'lou Fredrickson smashed one home, making the final score 6-1. The stadium echoed, nay, rumbled to Dannistrian cheering as the crowd continued to cheer and applaud for several minutes after the match ended. The team left with large grins on their faces as they left the stadium.

The Dannistrian national squad now has to dance once more for the organ grinder as the ESF match approaches. If they lose, they will still be forever remembered as heroes in Dannistrian sport. However if they win and move onto the Semi-finals, this will be seen as a great surprise and very much welcomed. The pressure is now one but the Dannistrians are determined not to disappoint. As late Prime Minister Har'ii Wilson once said in reference to healing the wounds caused by the 1982 Civil War:

"There is nothing wrong in believing the impossible. There is everything wrong in not believing the possible. Therefore, I choose to believe everything and anything..."

-Patrick Rogers
Dannistrian Sun Sports Correspondant

Kibbutz Today
QAZOX Still Unbeaten

Qazox jumped out to an early 3-0 lead on VDB and held on for the 5-3 win, taking a 1-0 lead in the best of 3 Quarterfinals. Led by 2 goals each from Yoeeuoeckndpc and Ayayoeeindstrd and another empty net goal from Eeyeesstvl, Qazox thanks to the stunning exit of Milchama, is the lone unbeaten left and is one fo the favorites to win the tourney. Yoeeuoeckndpc scored at 5:03 of the 1st and 10:18 of the 3rd, while Ayayoeeindstrd scored at 11:09 and 15:51 of the 1st. Eeyeesstvl added the empty netter at 19:43.

Goals for Qazox in Group Play:
Ayayoeeindstrd: 4
Eeyeesstvl: 4 (2 EN)
Aieai: 3
Yoeeuoeckndpc: 2
Knnhd: 2
Oaioullygsh: 1
Uieieistdll: 1


Goals for Qazox in Playoffs:
Aieai: 2
Knnhd: 2
Yoeeuoeckndpc: 2
Ayayoeeindstrd: 2
Eeyeesstvl: 2 (1 EN)
Rkpsiuio: 1
D-ine-mey: 1

"...but obviously, the blackout did not affect the television studio. And now, a look at the quarterfinals of the World Cup of Ice Hockey: here's Nigel Swumpley in Neorvins, Kelssek."

"Thanks, Sally. The capital of Kelssek saw the Bazalonia Icealops defeat Plutoni 6-3. The first period belonged to Bazalonian Lucas Davidovwich: the clever forward scored two goals off assists from anonymous defenders numbered 3.14 and 2.71."

"Shouldn't that be 2.72?"

"I've got the roster right in front of me, it's 2.71."

"Ah well, truncation versus rounding...anyhow, it's your broadcast, go ahead."

"Thank you. Anyhow, Plutoni got a respite when Aiyangar Desai scored, but Bazalonia's steady captain, John Everton, made it 3-1 off a pass from, you guessed it, Davidovwich.

The second period was a little slower. Robert Jones scored in the tenth minute for Bazalonia. Despite-or maybe because of-having made a nice save off a Nathan Geordie shot, Richard Palindromi left the game and Julian Lobachevsky came in. Willard Sprunk would score for Plutoni to make it 4-2.

Jackson Kent got Bazalonia's fifth goal, a shorthanded effort, as Graham Jones was making himself comfortable in the penalty box. Ludwig Pilipik scored for Plutoni, but hope was already thin, and David Thorne's goal secured Bazalonia's well-deserved victory.

The series will be best out of three, so Plutoni must win two games in a row to advance."

"Thanks, Nigel: stay tuned and catch all the action."

Kibbutz Today
QAZOX Stunned in final minutes, Lose for 1st time

Qazox was 2 minutes and 15 seconds away from a semifinal berth, but then VDB decided to show up and play. Knnhd's goal at 1:13 of the 2nd period gave Qazox a 1-0 lead and Aieai's goal at 17:45 of the 3rd made it 2-0. VDB seemed dead in the water but a Steve Saltalamacchia shot bounced past Tywsh at 19:07 to make it 2-1 and with 3 seconds on the clock, VDB's Steve Saltalamacchia lasered one from the blue line and Tywsh had no chance. With the momentum now fully on the VDB side, it only took 45 seconds for Thomas Vanek to force a game 3.

For the first time all tourney, Qazox is in a must-win situation, and in the past, Qazox is 2-4 in game 3's or must-win games, with the last win coming 4 years ago against Az-cz in the round of 16.

Goals for Qazox in Group Play:
Ayayoeeindstrd: 4
Eeyeesstvl: 4 (2 EN)
Aieai: 3
Yoeeuoeckndpc: 2
Knnhd: 2
Oaioullygsh: 1
Uieieistdll: 1


Goals for Qazox in Playoffs:
Aieai: 3
Knnhd: 3
Yoeeuoeckndpc: 2
Ayayoeeindstrd: 2
Eeyeesstvl: 2 (1 EN)
Rkpsiuio: 1
D-ine-mey: 1

Dannistrian Sun, National Edition
Special Sports Supplement on Ice Hockey World Cup

"'We want to Believe' says manager"

The Dannistrian National Ice Hockey Team manager, Bill Zahpha, says he believes the team can go through to the semi-finals.
"We want to believe that we can win. Our past results have shown that the improvements we have implemented are working. Even if we don't get through to the semi-final, it is an honour to get this far into the World Cup of Ice Hockey."

Meanwhile, fans are eagerly awaiting the next game after the last two games left the Dannistrian and ESF teams with one game a piece after the two games, scores 5-4 to ESF and 5-2 to Dannistaan.

The first quarter-final game saw the ESF offence trounce the Dannistrian defence initially, brushing them off to score 3-0 in the first period. However Donald Gah'ns and Right Winger Chen Fai Mei made amends in the second period by use of some brilliant teamwork, screaming past the ESF defence to smash goal after goal to make the score 3-3. In the third period, the ESF team scored a further two goals to make the score 5-3. However Chen Fai Mei stormed past the defence in the dying seconds to close up the gap and make the score 5-4 to ESF. Despite the loss the crowd cheered the team for their bravery.

The second quarter-final game saw the ESF continue to get off to a better start, scoring two goals within the first 5 minutes of the first period. The Dannistrian team acted a bit more edgy here, attempting to stop the ESF getting any further. The score 2-0 at the end of the first period. However at the second period a substitution meant the defence pairing of Carter "Castle" Smith and Wang Bin Mei spoilt the ESF chances of scoring any more points. Chen Fai Mei proceded to break the ESF team by scoring three goals throughout the second period. Score now 3-2. The third period saw Donald Gah'ns hammer home the final nails in the coffin for the ESF team, making the score 5-2.

The crowds are now waiting eagarly the final playoff on Sunday and a record 39 million viewers are watching the game on national TV. For the first time ever a Dannistrian Ice Hockey team may lift the trophy at the end of an international championship. Can the BYB's do it? Only time will tell. As the former Dannistrian Ice Hockey captain in the '80s Gou'no M'ahn once said.

"The challenges are great. The difficulties greater still. The prospects, however, are infinite and so is our courage...

-Patrick Rogers
Dannistrian Sun Sports Correspondant"

"Despite long gaps between series, these quarterfinal games have come rapid-fire. Down by a win, Plutoni had to win to have a chance at moving on...and did so, beating Bazalonia 4-2 to tie the series.

Bazalonia took the first lead, with Nathan Geordie scoring off a pass from defender #0."

"Why not 00?"

"Why do you think you are an expert on the Bazalonian defense?"

"Well, Mool is 00."

"...Yes...that's beside the point...At any rate, penalty killer Doko Mool scored in a 4-on-4-shut up-after Kent Kenderson and Scott Pappas were sent to the box.

In the second period, Willard Sprunk and Georg Orwix scored unanswered goals. Sprunk would score again in the third before Lucas Davidovwich pulled Bazalonia back into it. But the score of 4-2 would hold, setting up a final match. In fact, all four quarterfinal series will have third games.

Un...uh, unsure what to put here, I'm Nigel Swumpley, in Kelssek. Back to you, Sally."

"Thanks, Nigel. Now, over to an exclusive interview with the young man recently denied admission to an all-robot institute..."

Kibbutz Today
QAZOX Into Semis with 7-4 win over Vanek Drury Brieres

Qazox scored a team record 5 2nd period goals on the way to a team record 7 goals in Game 3 of the quarterfinals against VDB. Surprisingly, none of the usual goal scorers managed a goal as 3 gaols came off the stick of Uieieistdll with a goal in each period (1st @ 3:23, 2nd @ 17:41 and 3rd @ 5:19). The other goals were scored by (all 2nd period): Rkpsiuio (2:49 PP), D-ine-mey (9:40), Lkfsteooau (11:41 and 17:23). VDB scored all their goals in the 2nd period as well, giving the 2 teams 9 goals in the period. Steve Saltalamacchia (1:10 SH), Thomas Vanek (4:53) and Curtis Granderson (7:09) scored once each and Dennis Perek added the last VDB goal at 19:43 to make it 6-4.

Up next for Qazox in the Semifinals is Bazalonia 2-1 series winners over Plutoni.


Goals for Qazox in Group Play:
Ayayoeeindstrd: 4
Eeyeesstvl: 4 (2 EN)
Aieai: 3
Yoeeuoeckndpc: 2
Knnhd: 2
Oaioullygsh: 1
Uieieistdll: 1


Goals for Qazox in Playoffs:
Aieai: 3
Knnhd: 3
Uieieistdll: 3
Yoeeuoeckndpc: 2
Ayayoeeindstrd: 2
Eeyeesstvl: 2 (1 EN)
Rkpsiuio: 2
D-ine-mey: 2
Lkfsteooau: 2

"The Reality Channel. Bringing you the news, whether or not you like it."

"I'm Nigel Swumpley, live in Keorvins, Kelssek. It's the capital of a diverse nation, perhaps the only one to offer "Evil Genius Class" immigration. Today's game will determine whether the Plutonian ice hockey team will continue competing here, or whether the Bazalonian Icealops will advance. The best-of-three series is tied at a game apiece. Plutoni was seeded higher entering knockout play, but Bazalonia has more experience. The winner is anyone's guess...

Jackson Kent with the pass from defender 99, whoever he is. Or she, or it, please don't sue me. Kent shoots, Palindromi-nice save there, the number-one goalie back-and, Everton on the rebound, puts it in the top hole. One-nothing Bazalonia...

the second line climbs on for Plutoni, that's Mool, Desai, and Wolff, and they'll be called for too many men on the ice, good eye by the ref. Wolff will serve the penalty...

Plutoni back at full strength. Treefig wins the puck away from Geordie, nice maneuvering there, passes to Wolff, Wolff with the shot: goal for Plutoni!

...Desai on the breakaway, and number 98's simply overwhelmed. Plutoni takes the lead...

and that'll be the period...

Sprunk gets open, the pass from Orwix is good, and Sprunk fires it in! 3-1!

...after Quilker's penalty for slashing, Mool tries to kill the penalty. Number 50-that's the Bazalonian, not Avery-comes up with the puck, passes to Thorne, and-Thorne sends it in, it's 3-2...

#13 in now for Bazalonia, he's got lots of room, takes the shot, and that'll be good. Score tied at three now...

retaking the ice, but it's a new game and Plutoni cannot get complacent...

Lucas Davidovwich finally seems 100%. This is the very same Davidovwich who just computed the factorial of 1093, all 2849 digits of it: an impressive feat, even if the last 270 were zeros. Davidovwich looking to build on that magnificent performance, shoots...he scores! 4-3 Bazalonia after that brilliant Davidovwich goal...

Robert Jones now on the attack for the Icealops, gets the puck from #90 and sends it home. 5-3, and Plutoni has to be wondering where this game went...

Everton takes careful aim, shoots, and it's good. 6-3 Bazalonia now...

elimination shouldn't be seen as a disappointment for a team who had won a sole game entering this tournament. This is a new Plutoni, and their successes here are a testament to human skill and spirit."

Kibbutz Today
QAZOX one win way from Finals

Qazox survived being down 2 goals twice in the first period to win game 1 of the semifinals against Bazalonia 5-4 in overtime. Bazalonia's Jackson Kent scored twice in the 1st period giving Bazalonia a 2-0 lead, until Yoeeuoeckndpc's goal at 18:12, cut the lead to 2-1. But Nathan Geordie scored with 5 seconds left in the period to make it 3-1. Aieai scored at 5:03 of the 2nd to cut the lead down to 3-2 and Knnhd scored at 15:09 of the 2nd to tie the game at 3, before Bazalonia's Lucas Davidovwich made it 4-3 on a Powerplay early in the 3rd. Ayayoeeindstrd tied it at 4-all at 16:51 and into overtime the teams went. For most of the OT, neither side could get an advantage, but a mishandled puck by #98, lead to Yoeeuoeckndpc's winning goal at 17:23 of the Overtime Period.


Goals for Qazox in Group Play:
Ayayoeeindstrd: 4
Eeyeesstvl: 4 (2 EN)
Aieai: 3
Yoeeuoeckndpc: 2
Knnhd: 2
Oaioullygsh: 1
Uieieistdll: 1


Goals for Qazox in Playoffs:
Aieai: 4
Knnhd: 4
Yoeeuoeckndpc: 4
Uieieistdll: 3
Ayayoeeindstrd: 3
Eeyeesstvl: 2 (1 EN)
Rkpsiuio: 2
D-ine-mey: 2
Lkfsteooau: 2

Kibbutz Today
QAZOX loses, and wins advances to Finals

Qazox had a weird 24-hrs yesterday as Game 2 was scheduled at 11:00 am in Kelssek, and once again the team fell behind by 2 goals, but couldn't mount a comeback as they lost Game 2 (2-4). Nathan Geordie had 2 goals for Bazalonia, and Lucas Davidovwich added 2 as well, including a Empty net goal with 17 seconds left. Qazox's 2 goals both came in the 2nd period as Aieai at 2:17 and Knnhd at 6:09 made it 2-2, before the 2 goals in the 3rd that sent the series to a Game 3 which started at 9:pm that night.

In said game three, Qazox finally got on the board first at 11:23 of the 3rd period when Oaioullygsh scored his 1st playoff goal to break the scoreless tie. Bazalonia threw 38 shots at Tywsh, but he held firm, claiming his 1st shut-out in the biggest game in team history so far. Eeyeesstvl added the final goal at 17:56.


Goals for Qazox in Group Play:
Ayayoeeindstrd: 4
Eeyeesstvl: 4 (2 EN)
Aieai: 3
Yoeeuoeckndpc: 2
Knnhd: 2
Oaioullygsh: 1
Uieieistdll: 1


Goals for Qazox in Playoffs:
Aieai: 5
Knnhd: 5
Yoeeuoeckndpc: 4
Uieieistdll: 3
Ayayoeeindstrd: 3
Eeyeesstvl: 3 (1 EN)
Rkpsiuio: 2
D-ine-mey: 2
Lkfsteooau: 2
Oaioullygsh: 1

Kibbutz Today
QAZOX backed against the wall after Game 1 loss

Oliverry is one of the best teams int he world and they proved it as they held off every Qazox attempt to tie the match after jumping out to a 2-0 1st period lead on goals by Thomas Gadbois (5:02) and Thibault Brisebois(11:15). Yoeeuoeckndpc made it 2-1 with a goal at 18:23. But Oliverry's Jérôme Gougeon (0:49) made it 3-1 early in the 2nd period, and Kevin Hunt's Powerplay goal (3:12), just minutes later made it 4-1. Ayayoeeindstrd snuck two goals past Jérôme Cyr at 8:17 and 14:23 to make it 4-3 heading into the 3rd period. Timothée Gauthier scored at 7:03 to make it 5-3, and again at 11:29 to make it 6-3, effectively ending the match. Yoeeuoeckndpc got a garbage goal at 17:42, to cut the lead back down to 6-4, but Game one went to the Frenchies.

So now Qazox has to win two games in a row against Oliverry to earn their 1st international title since the demise of the Women's World Cup.


Goals for Qazox in Group Play:
Ayayoeeindstrd: 4
Eeyeesstvl: 4 (2 EN)
Aieai: 3
Yoeeuoeckndpc: 2
Knnhd: 2
Oaioullygsh: 1
Uieieistdll: 1


Goals for Qazox in Playoffs:
Yoeeuoeckndpc: 6
Aieai: 5
Knnhd: 5
Ayayoeeindstrd: 5
Uieieistdll: 3
Eeyeesstvl: 3 (1 EN)
Rkpsiuio: 2
D-ine-mey: 2
Lkfsteooau: 2
Oaioullygsh: 1

Zamboni Driver Diaries

November 16.

More messing with the ice today. We're trying to get things shipshape in the one-day break in the final series. Weather was cold today so we got management to open all the doors and that helped to harden the ice a good bit. Finally found out what the problem with the boiler was too, somehow a rat got into it and got boiled to death when we turned it on. Explains all the strange impurities we'd been getting in the water the past few weeks.

Things aren't so good on the love front, though. Reina's fascination with dating the zamboni driver seems to be wearing off and like most girls I think she finds discussion about the merits of using distilled or reverse osmosis or dechlorinated tap water boring.

Kibbutz Today
QAZOX staves off elimination, Game 3 tonight

Qazox got a bit of revenge against Oliverry in Game 2 as the team jumped out to a 3-0 lead and held on to force a Game 3 tonight 4-2. 1st period goals by Eeyeesstvl (6:13), Oaioullygsh (13:05) and Lkfsteooau at 16:09 gave the team a dominating lead. Oliverry's Thomas Gadbois made it 3-1 at 2:16 of the second but a 2nd goal by Oaioullygsh at 7:03 made it 4-1. Oliverry's Jérôme Gougeon added the last goal in the 3rd at 16:42 to lead to the final score.

So now it's down to one game, winner take all, all the chips are on the table, and other cliches. The game will be carried live on QSPN @ 3:00 pm.


Goals for Qazox in Group Play:
Ayayoeeindstrd: 4
Eeyeesstvl: 4 (2 EN)
Aieai: 3
Yoeeuoeckndpc: 2
Knnhd: 2
Oaioullygsh: 1
Uieieistdll: 1


Goals for Qazox in Playoffs:
Yoeeuoeckndpc: 6
Aieai: 5
Knnhd: 5
Ayayoeeindstrd: 5
Eeyeesstvl: 4 (1 EN)
Uieieistdll: 3
Oaioullygsh: 3
Rkpsiuio: 2
D-ine-mey: 2
Lkfsteooau: 2

Zamboni Driver Diaries

November 18.

So tonight is the big World Cup final and we had to get a spare zamboni cause, thanks to Murphy's Law, one of them broke down and we need two for the game. It turns out Reina's dad repairs them, so he just happened to have one lying around (Sure he did! Bet he dialled every contact he had to get it!) and the reason she finds the whole different-types-of-water thing boring is because she's maintains goddamn curling rinks and she knows all that shit already. CURLING RINKS. That's like TEN times more intense work than for hockey. I will let her ride with me on the zamboni tonight. If I don't go all out for love I might not get another chance.

Kibbutz Today
QAZOX wins it's first ever Hockey Title

Qazox can now finally hold its collective head up high as the team brought home the Gold at the 4th World Cup of Hockey, defeating Oliverry 7-3 in Game 3 of the championship series. As was the case in Game 2, Qazox jumped out to an early lead and throughout the game kept adding to it as Oliverry's goalie Jérôme Cyr, was taken out halfway through the 2nd period after allowing a 6th goal. His replacement, Benjamin Vaillancourt did better only allowing a single goal late in the 3rd period.

Qazox' Ayayoeeindstrd lit the lamp first at 3:13 of the 1st period, to make it 1-0. Yoeeuoeckndpc made it 2-0 just 45 seconds later (3:58) and the rout had just begun. By the end of the first period it was 4-0 Qazox after goals by Knnhd (13:16) and Aieai (PP- 17:11). Oliverry managed to score quickly in the 2nd period taking only 20 seconds to get on the board with a PP goal from Hunter Russell. But Qazox was not to be denied tonight as Yoeeuoeckndpc (7:52) and Eeyeesstvl (9:40) made it 6-1 chasing Cyr. Maurice Lagacé made it 6-2 with a penalty shot at 18:46, after being taken down hard by Joond'it-woird on a breakaway. both teams traded goals in the 3rd with Oliverry's Thomas Gadbois scoring their final goal at 4:20, while Qazox' last goal came off the stick of the MVP of the World Cup of Hockey: Aieai at 14:10.

Aieai was, as mentioned above, voted the MVP of the tourney, finsihing with 10 goals and 24 assists, just being out teammate Ayayoeeindstrd who also had 10 goals but only 11 assists. Third in the MVP vote was Oliverry's Thomas Gadbois.


Goals for Qazox in Group Play:
Ayayoeeindstrd: 4
Eeyeesstvl: 4 (2 EN)
Aieai: 3
Yoeeuoeckndpc: 2
Knnhd: 2
Oaioullygsh: 1
Uieieistdll: 1


Goals for Qazox in Playoffs:
Yoeeuoeckndpc: 8
Aieai: 7
Knnhd: 6
Ayayoeeindstrd: 6
Eeyeesstvl: 5 (1 EN)
Uieieistdll: 3
Oaioullygsh: 3
Rkpsiuio: 2
D-ine-mey: 2
Lkfsteooau: 2

November 21.

I don't even know who won yet, and I was right there on the ice. We couldn't think of anything but each other. I did notice some people in the crowd cheer and whoop when we kissed while riding on the zamboni but the last few days are all a blur to me to be honest.

I showed all the things on the mechanism that it does, and we talked about ice maintenance for a bit too. Then we found out that we both like The Fire Doors, things went further, and after the second intermission we were out of the arena like a shot.

Called in sick since then. The manager's getting worried since the KHL games resume this weekend but I don't care, there are other ice techs who can do the job and I've got Reina she's all I need right now.