NationStates Jolt Archive

"Thank you," Andrea said politely. "Do you want to come with me?"

"I think a little fresh air would do me some good. I have spent too much time in this dark room." Miles commented as he looked back at her. Maybe it was time to finally face reality again.

After Andrea found the washing machines, got her clothes washed, and dressed to leave, she called a cab to the nearest department store for some new clothes.

Taking Miles with her, she walked aimlessly through the halls, looking for women's clothes. Embarrassingly enough, she stopped in the lingerie section.

Miles stood mortified as he looked on.

Andrea seemed oblivious to Miles' emotional state. She moved down to the section for women's trousers and shirts. She found some like the ones she usually wore. Given the climate, she generally wore shorts and T-shirts when not on duty; she had only dressed more heavily because she was going to a bar and Mara had warned her against appearing too available.

She found four pairs of shorts, all grey, and six T-shirts. Like in the rest of the world, T-shirts in Kahanistan had crude sayings on them. The one Andrea was holding in front of her read, "OBJECTS UNDER THIS SHIRT ARE LARGER THAN THEY APPEAR."

Miles looked over Andrea's shoulder and quickly read the shirt. He thought that he had read it wrong, so he reread it more slow this time. That shirt was definitely risque. Enough men look at that area of Andrea, now even more would now. But he did have to agree with the shirt, when he looked at Andrea.

"Are you sure that you want that t-shirt?" asked Miles.

Andrea shrugged. "You don't like it." She set it on the rack and picked one up labeled "My Catholic Priest Molested Your Honour Roll Student."

"They're all off-colour," she said. "Maybe I can find some plain ones in another part of the mall."

"They are fine I guess...but very new to me. Honestly I have never seen shirts like these before. Well I have seen shirts like these before, but not with these kinds of sayings." Miles said as he picked up a shirt and looked at it.

"I should probably get something else," said Andrea. Across from the T-shirts with off-colour comments, there were plain ones in solid colours.

"I don't see some colours well now," she said. "Orange, purple, and some shades of blue all look a muddy brown to me." She picked up some dark blue T-shirts and some red and green ones.

A lady from one of the counters came over to Andrea from the intimate apparel section. "I noticed you were with a guy. Can I help you with something?"

Mile decided it was just best to stay out of helping pick cloth with Andrea. Honestly he hated buying cloths. Usually he randomly picked out t-shirts and pants. He had more important things to worry about, then seeing if this t-shirt matched with those pants. In his line of work, his cloths were usually torn to pieces. During black ops. he wore some Canadsteiner BDU, so he did not need to worry about cloths.

"I am going to sit down over there. Honestly I have no sense in fashion, so I would probably be a hindrance." Miles stated as he pointed to a empty chair.

He went over and plopped right into it. Right now he was having a barrage of thoughts about Nadia. Miles wondered if she would ever forgive him for what he had done. That was the only thing that really mattered right now. If she never forgave him, then he wondered if he could carry on living.

"What?" asked Andrea when the lady came to her.

"First, do you know your size?" she asked, looking back toward her station.

"165 centimetres, 61 kilograms," said Andrea. For the metrically challenged, this was 5'5" and 135 pounds, about average weight.

"No," said the lady, walking back toward the intimate apparel section. She picked up an odd article. "Your... size." She gestured to Andrea to pick up what she'd just pulled.

"97C. 38C in imperial."

"OK... this should be about right..."

When the lady was done with Andrea, she had two business suits, three sundresses, a new bathing suit, six different T-shirts, a military surplus winter suit, and five different sets of lingerie. She walked back toward Miles, carrying the new clothes, probably about five hundred shekels worth, in her arms.

Miles was intently thinking, when he noticed that Andrea was in front of him. He also noticed that she had a mess of cloths. It seems that she was successful in finding some cloths that she liked, plus it hadn't taken that long. He had heard horror stories about spending hours inside a mall. Miles hoped that day never came for him. He got up and led Andrea to the counter. Once Andrea had put down the cloths, Miles waited patiently for a total to come up.

"Andrea, it seems you were successful today. I mean I would have never picked out this kind of stuff for you. But it all looks great." Miles said.

"493 shekels, 77 agorot," said the clerk. Andrea handed over five 100-shekel notes.

"6 shekels, 23 agorot's your change."

The lady at the counter put the clothes in a large bag. Andrea carried it across her shoulder and walked out to find a phone booth to call a cab back.

Miles was about to pay for it all, but Andrea was too quick. He felt bad, since it was his suggestion to go get some new cloths. On the way out of the store, Miles stopped Andrea and pulled out his wallet. He opened her hand and put five 100 shekel notes in it. Then he shut her hand close. Miles looked up to her.

"Andrea you keep that money. I am not going to take it back. I am the one who wanted you to get new cloths, so I should be the one to pay for it. Just take it as my treat." Miles said, then he gave her a small peck on the cheek.

Andrea looked at Miles. "You gave me some before. In the hotel." She held the bills, but did not pocket them, standing and waiting for the cab.

"It's fine. Just keep them. You never know when you might need them." Miles said as he waited with Andrea for the cab. "So where are we going?"

"Hotel," said Andrea flatly. She didn't see anywhere else to go and it wasn't like she had anything else to do.

"Is there nowhere else that you want to go?" Miles asked with a concerned look. While he wasn't concerned, but did not want to go back to the hotel. All they would do was sit around and talk. The thing that he really wanted to do was talk to Nadia, but he was still trying to let things cool down. Plus he was scared of not being forgiven by Nadia. She was one of the few people that he cared about and if he lost her, then he might...Miles shook his head. He would never do that.

"My apartment?" asked Andrea.

"I guess if want to go there." Miles replied as the cab pulled up. Once Andrea was in and seat, then Miles got into the cab.

Andrea gave the driver her address, and they were there in five minutes.

She carried her bag with her, unlocked the door to a low-level room, and entered.

The place looked as if it had not been lived in for weeks. Dust was piled on the older-model television, the phone, the coffee table, and the furniture. Inside, the sink was filled with dirty dishes, paper plates and packaging was stuffed into the rubbish bin, the bed was unmade, and a platter of rotten fruit sat on the coffee table.

Mold grew on the shower walls in the bathroom, and there was nary a household chemical in sight. A mouse scurried across their path, and Andrea almost stepped on him as he scampered to his hidey-hole.

Andrea sat down on the sofa.

"I guess you don't like to clean?" Miles said as he entered the apartment.

This place was definitely much different from the two other Kahanistani apartments he had seen. It was almost if it was the exact opposite. While Mara and Nadia's apartments were clean. While Andrea's was absolutely dirty. The odd thing though was he did not surprise in the least. He had seen places far worse than this apartment. He wondered why Andrea did not try to clean the place up.

It was more that in her brain-damaged condition, she didn't care how dirty her apartment got. "I don't know," she said. "Doesn't seem to matter. My room's less dirty. We can talk there."

Still carrying her bag, she walked down the corridor.

Miles followed her quietly, though he looked on with amazement and disgusted. He guessed this was one of the many flaws of Andrea. Something certainly needed to be done about this place.

Andrea took off her jacket and casually tossed it on the floor of her room, dropped her bag next to her bed, and sat down on the bed. She was in a loose-fitting tank top and trousers.

"You seem uncomfortable," she said. She didn't seem at all disturbed about the condition of her apartment.

Miles looked around a little for a clean place to sit, but soon gave up. It was just dirty everywhere. He let a long sigh and joined her on the bed. But first he made the spot somewhat neat. How could someone live like this? It was very unsettling to Miles.

"I am just a little surprised by how dirty your apartment is right now." Miles said out right.

"Want me to clean it?" asked Andrea. "I don't have a broom or mop. I'll still wash the place if you want."

She didn't seem to care one way or the other about her apartment, and had merely been socialised in therapy to be "nice."

"Its fine as the way it is. I am just used to being a little more neat than this." Miles said as he looked around. This was definitely the exact opposite of his apartment, even though he barely spent anytime in it. He put his arm around her, so she couldn't get up. It would be better just to leave the mess alone.

Andrea laid back on the bed and turned on the lights using the Clapper. It was getting dark.

"What do you... want to do?" she asked lazily.

Miles bent down and gently kissed her cheek. Then he slowly moved over to her lips. He embraced her and then let go. As he kissed her, his hand retrieved hers and he held it. Miles laid down beside her and looked at her.

"Do you think it is wrong that I love you?" asked Miles.

"No," said Andrea quietly. Instinctively she placed her arm around Miles.

She let him hold her and lay passively on the bed. "Why?"

"I don't know...." Miles replied. Most of his love was like this.

Andrea looked confused. She was looking confused a lot these last few months.

She slipped her shoes off and sat up, as if deep in thought. Miles seemed uncomfortable to her when he came in. He also hadn't wanted to go back to the hotel...

"Do you want to... stay the night with me?"

"Yes...I think I would love that..." Miles said as he once again embraced her. He just wished that she also felt love or passion. It was as though he was kissing a statue, but this statue had some warmth.

It was getting dark, and Andrea was exhausted from the day.

"I'm tired. I'll go slip into something comfortable." She got up, dragging her bag with her.

When she returned, she was in a light green robe, extending to about four inches from her knee.

"You look beautiful Andrea..." Miles said as he looked at her when she reentered the room.

Andrea smiled faintly and lay back down. "Thank you." She spoke quietly, softly as she usually did.

She rolled onto her side and her robe opened slightly; underneath was a short black slip. Andrea pulled the covers over her body and closed her eyes.

Miles sighed and got up. He knew that he wanted to be with Andrea, but it just didn't feel right. Miles wanted to lay beside her and have sex with her, but that would be wrong. Getting he from the bed, he looked down as she silently slept. Quietly he left the apartment and went to the street bellow. He needed to get some fresh air. This past few days had been exhausted for Miles. They were finally getting to him.

At about two in the morning, Andrea woke up.

She noticed that Miles was no longer next to her and got up, groggy but still able to step out of bed. A brief search of the small flat failed to turn him up, and by the time she finished searching the bathroom, kitchen and closet for him, she was too awake to go back to sleep immediately.

Bored and with nothing else to do, she rounded up all the dirty clothes from under and around her bed, washed the dishes, and used the dishrag to wipe the floor and screen of the TV. She managed to dust most of the furniture, scour the most prominent bathroom mold, and fill three bags of rubbish with the last month's dysfunctionality by four o'clock. At four, she was tired enough to go back to sleep; the rubbish could be taken out for collection later in the morning.

Andrea crashed on the sofa, her robe draped over her face, and went back to sleep.

For the next several hours Miles wandered the streets. A little fresh air was something he needed. As he walked the streets of Kampala he knew that he had to be cautious too. He remembered when he had rescued Nadia from a couple of riff raff. Miles could feel his M9 as he took each street. Back when he original started to carry a pistol it felt very unconformable, but now it a familiar and comforting feeling.

Finally he found Andrea's apartment. He made his way up and unlocked her door. A puzzled look was on his face as he entered. It looked as though Andrea had tried to clean the place while he was gone. Miles donned a smile as he saw her peacefully sleep. He walked over and hovered over for a few minutes. Then he slowly bent down he kissed her cheek. Yawning Miles knew that he needed to get some sleep. He laid down beside her and put his arm around. Slowly he drifted off to sleep.

It was nine before she woke again.

Andrea got out of bed, slipped on a sundress and sandals, and took the rubbish out. She had gotten the idea that maybe cleaning the place was a good idea; Miles seemed to like it, and she figured that he might like it more if she went further and got a broom, mop, vacuum cleaner, and general purpose scouring chemicals, so she drove to the nearby hardware store to obtain the necessary implements.

The bill ran less than one hundred shekels, and the trip to the store, getting the goods, and getting home was finished by 10:30 AM.

When Miles woke up he looked everywhere for Andrea. She was was nowhere to be found. He thought to repay her hospitality he might make her breakfast. Well he found out that most of the stuff in the refrigerator was bad or completely filled with mold. Miles cleared out the refrigerator, then decided to get some new food.

He traveled to a local grocery store and bought some new food. It was the least he could do, since he cleared out eh refrigerator. Coming back with a couple bags he unpacked and looked at the time. It was close to 9:00. So they were not going to have breakfast after all, but a brunch.

Miles brought out some pans and thought of what to make. He thought of an idea and went to work. Once Andrea walked into the apartment she would smell French toast, scrambled eggs, and bacon. Miles had set out two plates accompanied by two tall glasses of orange juice. He was sitting at the table, then he looked up at her with a gently smile.

"Ahh...the mistress finally decided to come home." Miles sarcastically stated.

Andrea's sense of smell wasn't very good, but the sight was unmistakable.

She lay the chemicals and cleaning equipment next to the door; she had intended to kill the remaining mould and vacuum the floor, but that could wait. Sitting down at the table and picking up a glass, Andrea smiled.

"Going to get a dishwasher," she said. She did not react to Miles' sarcastic comment, and barely registered it.

"I have a few days off."

"How about you join me and we have a nice brunch?" Miles said as he showed the massive amounts of food he made.

"OK." She took a large portion of bacon and poured generous quantities of pepper over her scrambled eggs, then began eating.

It seemed she couldn't get enough of the bacon. The toast, however, was very filling and she was only able to eat two slices with everything else on her plate.

However, she sat there, as if to listen to Miles if he wanted to speak.

"So where did you go?" Miles asked as he shallowed a forkful of eggs.

"The Home Depot down the road," said Andrea quietly.

"They had everything I needed... what are you doing today?"

"I really don't know..." Miles said as he put down his fork. "Why did you buy all those supplies? I mean I know that they are meant for cleaning this place up, but why all of a sudden a change in mind?"

"Thought you would like it," said Andrea. "You came back..."

She stared ahead as if thinking. "What did you do...? Did you see Nadia?"

"Actually I went and took a little walk. I thought about the past few days and got some much needed fresh air." Miles replied, then he finished of the rest of his orange juice.

"I have to see a doctor at one o'clock. Will you come with me?" Andrea asked.

She took her empty plate, glass, and utensils to the sink and washed them.

"Yes I would be happy to." Miles replied.

Andrea nodded, then started vacuuming the floor. It was a small flat, so that would finish in ten minutes.

She then took the chemicals into the bathroom to scrub the linoleum. Since her appointment was now around two hours away, she showered after cleaning the sink, toilet, floor and shower.

Perhaps it was an accident, perhaps a subtle hint, maybe something else, but she failed to close the door all the way before stripping her clothes off to shower for her medical appointment. It was not wide open, maybe a centimetre or two, and there was a glass door to the shower itself within.

Miles was causally looking around when he saw something through the crack. He thought that he had imaged it, but sure enough he could see Andrea naked, well a part of her. Miles looked closer, than rubbed his eyes. Quickly he looked away. He did not want to be known for being a pepping tom. His cheeks turned into a deep rouge. Coughing a few times, he regained his composure. This was something he was going to keep to himself.

She emerged from the shower, apparently oblivious or indifferent to the door left slightly open. After brushing her hair and teeth and drying her body, she came out, dressed in a semi-formal business suit, white blouse with a tan jacket and medium length skirt.

"It's 11:30," said Andrea. They could leave in an hour. She sat down on the sofa to wait.

Miles sat down beside her, but said nothing. He was still embarrassed of what he had seen. Miles could not get that image of Andrea out of his head.

By 12:25, they had been sitting for a long time, barely talking.

"You aren't talking," Andrea said. "Is something wrong? You're still depressed?"

She dug her car keys out of her purse and put it around her shoulder. It was about time to leave.

"Nothing is wrong. I just don't feel like talking right now." Miles replied. He couldn't even look at her right now. Miles was way too embarrassed.

"Do you still want to go with me?" She stood up, getting ready to go, holding her keys.

"Yeah definitely...I want to go." Miles said half heartily.

Andrea stepped out the door to her apartment, leading Miles to her 2004 Chevy Suburban. She opened the driver's side door and unlocked the passenger side to admit Miles, then started the car.

Pulling out of the parking lot, she listened on her GPS for the proper directions to the doctor's office. They arrived about ten minutes before her appointment.

She parked in the lot, turned off the ignition and looked ahead. There were still a few minutes before she was scheduled to come in.

"So why do you have to go to the doctor?" Miles asked as he tried to strike up a conversation.

"Experimental," said Andrea. "You can come into the waiting room with me."

"Lead the way then." Miles replied.

Andrea led Miles into the waiting room of the small clinic, signing in, taking a seat, and crossing her legs. A few older people sat around, and one old man with a frail African child in a wheelchair came in and sat next to her.

The child seemed to be a casualty of war, his head mangled and he was barely able to speak. He gurgled and touched Andrea's shoulder. He seemed to be very curious about the young white woman.

"What do you think is wrong with him?" Miles whispered into Andrea's ear. He looked at the young boy, but could feel no remorse. This young boy was only one of millions. He was no special case, and Miles had gotten use to it.

"Don't know," said Andrea. The old man seemed unwilling to hold the child back, and the boy made eye contact with her.

Unsure of what to do, she touched him gently on the head. The old man spoke, in halting English.

"He was... hurt when the... Doomani came. To Africa. They took control, imposed their religion. Killed many. Until the Allaneans came. Now we free but Mubobo still hurt."

Andrea hugged the child gently, as if unsure of how to respond. He looked into her eyes.

"He is like this. With most women, since his... mother killed. He is my great grandson. He is three."

"I was hurt," said Andrea. "In combat."

"You are... Doomani soldier?" said the man. "I have not... seen. Doomani woman. I do not know they have women."

"No. Kahanistan Republic Marine," Andrea replied. While she was talking to the man, a stocky, elderly black man in a lab coat stepped into the waiting room.

"Mrs. Rhodes?" asked the doctor. Andrea's eyes perked up.

"Your husband can come in with us. Nothing too complex today."

Miles looked down at the young boy. He felt sadden by the fact that this child had seen so much war. Back in Canadstein no citizen had seen war in ages. Of course they had seen it on the television, but not in person. The last war was in 1873 and of course everyone from that war had been long deceased. Miles knew that the children back in Canadstein were lucky. They would never have to see something like this in person. He sigh and closed his eyes for a second.

Then he became alert when a new presence entered the room. He slowly opened his eyes to see the doctor, of course he made an error. This doctor had thought that he was Andrea's husband. As Miles got up he started to speak.

"Ohh...sorry I am not Andrea's husband. I am just a friend." Miles said as he put his arm around her.

"Sorry about that. I'm Dr. Pierre Mubunga, the neurologist your commanding officer referred you to." Dr. Mubunga shook Andrea's hand, then extended it to Miles.

"We can talk in my office."

Miles gripped the doctors hand and looked right into his eyes.

The doctor nodded and led Andrea and Miles to his office, pulling up an extra chair across from his desk.

"First things first," said Dr. Mubunga. "I trust both of you know about stem-cell research. Well, a couple of years ago we learned how to convert embryonic stem cells into the beginnings of neural tissue. We have cured mice of paralysis, and we have restored motor abilities of people with brain damage that affects their motion. We aren't at the level of curing brain death yet, but we are capable of helping those with brain damage, say, from a lobotomy."

"In short, Mrs. Rhodes, we want to try to repair some of the damage to your brain. It will require months, if not years, to fully repair your condition. This is not a miracle cure. We hope you will see results within a month or two; normalising emotions, improved verbal skills, less wobbling on your legs. Maybe we can even help restore some of your vision, I understand you have problems with some colours."

He pulled out a clipboard from his desk. "First, I'll need to know some of your medical history. Have you taken immunosuppressants?"

"No," said Andrea.

"M.A.O.I.'s?"

"No."

"Pork or beef insulin?"

"No."

"How old are you?"

"31."

"Have you had any major surgery, other than the lobotomy?"

"I had my spleen taken out when I was thirteen."

"OK... OK. I'll see if I can grow you a new one, a lot of people don't know that it's good for the immune system." He went to the refrigerator on his cabinet, where medical samples were kept. The doctor then came back to the desk, with a syringe and several vials.

"These are stem cells. I can inject you with them here, and I can regrow your spleen here too. All I need is for you to lay down on the operating table, and remove your jacket and blouse. The skirt and everything else can stay."

He took the syringe and extracted stem cells from the vial as Andrea slipped out of her jacket and blouse, then lay on her back on the table. She was in a push-up white lace bra and mid-length tan skirt. Dr. Mubunga inserted the needle into Andrea's stomach and injected her.

"Those stem cells will grow into a new spleen in three or four months," said the neurologist. He took another vial and another syringe, and this one he injected above her eyelid, where the lobotomist had inserted his ice pick.

"There you go. Those cells should start growing into new brain tissue to replace your damaged tissue. I'll want to check on you again in two weeks, for a follow-up and a check on your results."

Miles sat off to the side and carefully listened to the doctor. It finally seemed the military cared about their brain damage personnel. Better later than never. Maybe one day Andrea would return to her old self. Maybe not, but there was at least some sort of hope.

Once the doctor was about to inject Andrea, Miles got up and wanted to get a look himself. He watched as the doctor injected the stem cells into Andrea's body. Miles got on one knee near Andrea's head, once the doctor was done.

"So how did it feel?" Miles asked.

"Like I got stuck with some needles," said Andrea. It seemed that the effects wouldn't be instant.

She pulled her blouse back on over her head and slipped her jacket on. "Thank you, Doctor." Andrea gave the man her military ID, which he ran through a machine to send the bill to the Defence Ministry. After he returned it, she shook his hand, smiled, then left the room.

"So where do you want to go?" asked Miles as he walked with her out of the doctor's room.

"Home?" said Andrea. She wanted to go home, where she was more comfortable, but if Miles had another idea, he was welcome to ask her.

She led him to her vehicle and started the engine, ready to pull onto the road outside the parking lot.

Miles followed her, but thought for a great deal of time. Maybe it was finally time to confront Nadia. For the past a couple of days he had tried to ignore it, but he knew that he was simply running away. Miles closed his eyes and tried to say the words, but they wouldn't come out. This was not going to be an easy feat.

"Andrea...lets go to the base..." Miles said weakly.

Andrea nodded, making a turn onto the road to the base and driving past the bored sentry at the gate. She parked the car near the base pool, where Mara and Nadia were seated in the shallow end under a large umbrella, talking.

After parking, Andrea stepped out of her vehicle. "You seem stressed. What's the matter?" she asked.

Miles many times on the trip to the base he wanted to jump out. He had many second thoughts of what he was doing. Should he just leave Nadia alone forever or try to get her forgiveness? Miles tried to keep calm, but to no avail. Once the car stopped he seemed to be very startled. He inhaled a couple of deep breaths, then exhaled each time.

Miles followed Andrea out of the car and once she asked her question, he stopped dead in his tracks. It was odd that Andrea saw that he was stressed, but this also proved that she wasn't just a vegetated state. He looked at her and paused.

"What do you think? I am here because of Nadia" Miles lashed out at her.

Andrea may have had stunted emotions, but she had been socialised to know if someone was upset or angry. She looked surprised when Miles lashed out at her... a flicker of emotion. She wasn't angry, but did not expect to be snapped at.

She led Miles in, still in her jacket and skirt. As she got closer to where Mara and Nadia were, she could hear what they were talking about.

"So this guy comes up to me," said Mara. "Looked at me like he knew me, asked me where he'd seen me. I said there was a good chance that he'd seen my personal ad, and it was like the cogs turned on in his head."

"So what did he do?" asked Nadia. "I mean, you were in the bar, in a revealing dress... he didn't try anything and he was that drunk?"

"No, not at all. He took this long look at my chest, like my face was down there, like I was a dwarf or something. Now, this was something I'd never seen before, and just when I was about to say something, he looks up at my face and grins. I'm waiting for him to say something to me, and I was going to walk away when he says, '34A? That's perfect! Can I have your number?'"

Nadia began laughing hysterically. "So, what did you say?" she asked between fits of giggles.

"I told him to call me back when he was sober. If he really had my personal ad pinned on his wall or whatever he already has my email. Well, I haven't heard back from him, so I figure he was just drunk, didn't have the guts to talk to me sober. Nervous guys aren't a problem for me, but they have to at least be able to step away from the bottle," said Mara. "I'm not leaving someone who's going to pass out with a vodka bottle in his hand anywhere around Kathy. What is it with Miles, anyway? It's like he won't even talk to me. Oh, there he is." She nodded over to Miles, letting him know that she had seen him and Andrea.

Miles looked timidly at the pair of women. He seemed to be motionless. So many thoughts were racing through his head.

"Hey, Andrea." Mara stood up, water running down her slim body. "Miles." She looked in Andrea's direction.

Nadia stood up. "Come over."

"I didn't bring my bathing suit," Andrea replied. "I could go to the locker room and see if there are spares..."

"Sure thing," said Mara. "Come back soon. Miles... care to talk to us?"

Andrea made eye contact with Miles. "I'll be back in a few minutes. You might want to talk to Nadia without me."

"I just wanted to ask for your forgiveness. I gave into my lust and I did not mean to hurt you. If you want I will leave you alone for the rest of your life. I just want forgiveness from you Nadia." Miles instantly said as he broke out of his comatose state.

Mara looked at Nadia. How is this going to turn out? She was leaning toward abandoning her own interest in Miles - he had gotten absolutely plastered and just ignored her, he'd hurt her friend, and she felt her own emotions had been messed with. To her, it was as if Miles had simply walked out on her for Andrea. It wasn't being left for another woman that bothered her, it was being left for another woman with larger breasts without taking the time to get to know her.

Nadia seemed oblivious to Mara's concerned expression as she listened to Miles. Her expression phased from wariness to passivity to softness, and she warmly smiled.

"I'm not angry," she said. "I'm not one to hold grudges. I know that you're physically attracted to me. We all let our emotions take us over and do things we do not really want. Sit down and talk with us."

Mara looked as if Nadia had just spoken to her in Chechen. He slaps her, makes out with me in front of her, leaves me for someone one step above a zombie, and she forgives him? What is she thinking? She sank to her knees in the shallow water, sitting with her back against the edge, her hair, face, neck, and shoulders still above the water line.

---

Meanwhile, Andrea found a spare bathing suit in the locker room. The top was a little too small, it was labeled 34B, but it was the only one she could find. It was a horrible reddish-orange colour, which Andrea's still-healing brain couldn't discern easily. She changed in the locker room, apparently oblivious to the extremely tight fit. The bottom was the same colour, but not the same poor fit. Andrea stuffed her clothes into one of the lockers.

"I don't want to talk with you anymore. I can't be around you anymore. I am sorry..." Miles said before turning around. Oblivious he had just ignored what Nadia said.

He had enough dealing with women. Before all this happened he was some how a lot more happy. Maybe he should just immerse himself back in his work and just have no real life. It would be much better to serve a country, than a woman. Without looking back he exited the area of the pool and headed for the base entrance. It would just be better to leave.

Nadia stepped out of the water, leaving her friend. She clasped Miles on the shoulder as he reached the gate.

"What? You just asked me to forgive you, and I said that I did. Andrea said she'd be back soon... don't you want to see her at least? She's probably on the way back here right now."

Andrea was indeed walking back; she might be visible from a distance if one was actively keeping a lookout for her. She was wearing a large white beach towel around her body and off one shoulder in the manner of a sundress.

"I don't feel like I belong here anymore. My time has come to leave. Just tell her that I said good bye and have a nice life. I am doing the thing that I am good at Nadia, running away." Miles said as he stopped and looked down at Nadia. Tears were starting to build up in his eyes.

Nadia put her arms around Miles gently. She was apparently naive enough to think that he wouldn't interpret it sexually even though she was still in her bikini, her new 34C breasts pushed against him.

Mara was outraged. Kathy had asked her mother if she was going to have a new daddy, and Mara, not wanting to disappoint the two-year-old, said yes. Not only that, but now Miles was running out on Andrea, too. That poor girl had been through enough, what with having her brain messed up, her friends killed, being groped and sexually manhandled by every male on the base with the desire, and led to think someone cared about her. This was too much to bear. Miles could rot in the jungle as far as Mara cared.

She strode up to where Nadia and Miles were talking and proceeded to yell at Nadia. "What is going through your mind, Nadia?" she asked coldly. "This man slapped you simply because you wouldn't have sex with him. He practically raped you, dumped me for Andrea because the gods cursed me with an A-cup, now he wants to run off on Andrea and live in the mountains? Well, you can go with him if you care so much about him!" She noticed Andrea approaching.

"I'll help her through this. You can die in the mountains with your raping, woman-beating boyfriend," Mara said viciously. She headed over to where Andrea was.

Nadia looked stunned. Mara was her friend, she had never raised her voice to her before, let alone told her she could die in the mountains. Nadia had barely noticed that Mara had issues with her body.

"Mara... it's not like that..." But Mara had already covered most of the distance with Andrea. She was out of earshot.

"Mara isn't normally like this," said Nadia weakly. Her eyes were starting to tear, too. "She's normally really sweet. She's just not as quick to forgive as I am. She thought you were going to have a relationship with her. She'll probably cool down soon. Don't run off again... it's dangerous here. The base is one of the few safe places left."

Miles just stood there stunned as he watched Mara. Once she was done talking and had walked off, he became teary eyed and felt really bad. He had caused pained to each one of these three women. Miles never wanted to do that, but his emotions had taken over him. He looked at Nadia and shook his head. Was he good for nothing, except causing pain to other people? It would just be better to leave and let things try to heal itself. Quickly he slipped through Nadia's grasp and passed through the base's gates.

Nadia walked back to her quarters, cleaned up, and sat down on her cot, her head in her hands. Frequently she would burst into tears. She had tried to help Miles, and Mara had driven him off. She reflected on how she really felt. Nadia wasn't the kind of girl to fall in love at the drop of a hat, and she wasn't particularly looking for anyone at this time - her hands were full with Communist Party functions, military drills, and discussion of military reform. She poured a tall glass of wine - the first she had had since learning she was pregnant - and lay down on her bed, crying.

Mara, in the meantime, walked Andrea back to the pool.

"Where's Miles?" Andrea asked as she slid into the water.

"Good riddance," said Mara coldly. "He ran off to hopefully die in the mountains." The tone of her voice made it clear she felt better off without him.

"Why?" asked Andrea.

"He's emotionally unstable. He slapped Nadia just because she didn't want to have sex with him. When I did, he walked away from me. He went to you... maybe he felt something for you, with what you've been through." She ran her finger over Andrea's eyelid, where the lobotomist had done his work.

What can I say further? I can't tell her that he just wanted her because she has larger breasts than I do. "Andrea... Miles has a lot of problems. He has a bad temper, he hurts people, he uses people. He's like the people who touch your boobs in public."

Andrea looked at Mara intently. She did not see the problem with being felt up in public, but Mara apparently did. "He touched me," said Andrea. "When he was drunk. He didn't do anything more. He stopped."

"I'm not surprised," Mara replied. "You're an attractive woman. I'm surprised that he didn't go all the way with you. Have sex with you," she added, noting Andrea's confused expression.

"I'll tell you what. We can meet a couple of guys here. Maybe I'll find someone who likes me," said Mara. But who'll take the size A when there's a C next to her? "I think we've both been disappointed enough for one day." She hugged Andrea and sat down with her. They talked for hours.

Miles once again disappeared, and returned back to Canadstein. Once he got back he cut off his vacation and returned back to his job. Though a strange thing happened when he returned. Miles volunteered for the most risky missions possible. Many of his colleagues thought that he was trying to kill himself. None of them knew that he was just trying to get his mind off three certain women.

The next week

Nadia's quarters

Nadia lay in bed sleeping relatively calmly. She still missed Miles, but threw her work into proposing new initiatives for the Communist Party, and discussing military reform with more senior generals of four and five stars. She wouldn't know where to find Miles if she looked.

This day, after a long discussion over a proposal to make the Air Force a separate branch rather than merely an arm of the Republic Guard, and allow doctrinal decisions to be made by experienced flight officers rather than desk generals, followed by a long workout, then a relaxing shower, then finally slipping into bed, she had slept like a baby.

At 3:00 AM, a piercing scream from another barracks awoke Nadia. She sat bolt upright, her ears searching for the source of the sound. The covers slid off of her as she climbed out of bed in her usual sleeping attire.

When she stood, she heard another scream, as loud as the first. It was female, and unmistakably sexual. Stepping into her sandals, Nadia came out of her quarters in her old white sundress.

In the neighbouring barracks corridor, where two or three other people were milling about, shaking their heads in disgust or listening intently, Nadia followed the screams, moans, grunting and other sounds to one of the rooms. She was not happy about someone waking her up.

"Quiet!" Nadia called into the door.

There was a ruffling of clothes, shuffling of feet, and the sexual activity stopped. Within a minute, however, Nadia was facing Mara and an unfamiliar young man. Mara was in a camisole and half slip; the man was still butt naked, as bare-assed as the day G-d made him. He was well over six feet tall, ripped, tanned, and looked to be a good ten years younger than Mara.

"Oh," Mara said nonchalantly. "Sorry about that, Nadia. This is Amos," she said. "Amos, this is my friend, Nadia."

Nadia squirmed at the thought of being introduced to this naked man, still clearly not finished with whatever he was doing with Mara. "Mara, he's... naked. What were you doing?"

"Meeting someone who responded to my personal ad," Mara said coolly. "Amos, Nadia's not as... comfortable... sexually as we are, so would you mind putting a robe on? Thanks." She looked back to Nadia. "I should apologise for last week. I was angry with Miles, and... struggling with my body image and I took it out on you."

"It's all right," said Nadia. She hugged Mara tightly. "Mara, how's Andrea been?"

"She still wants to look for Miles, ever since she wanted to know what I meant about the mountains," Mara replied. "Doesn't want to let him go. She's had another stem cell treatment, her spleen is coming along nicely, she no longer wobbles when she walks, and she can faintly distinguish some shades of purple and orange. Emotions are still a little slow, but I think she likes Miles."

Amos pulled on his boxers and a robe. "Nadia... what do you say about a threesome?" he asked. Group sex was not viewed as something degenerate in Kahanistan outside of a few radical religious zealots.

"No. Thanks," replied Nadia firmly. God, he's disgusting. Nadia had been viewed as prudish because she was still relatively conservative sexually, even though she had mellowed in her attitudes since her Kraven experience; for example, she now had no problem with being kissed on a first date, whereas two years earlier she would have considered it unthinkable. It wasn't that Nadia was religious - far from it. Her mother was an atheist and her father had been a secular Jew. It was more of bad experiences with people who had taken advantage of her, and problems with emotional intimacy due to her overly sensitive disposition.

"Mara... where did you meet Amos?"

"He answered my personal ad, and emailed me. He told me a little about himself, he's nineteen, works in Intel, and... he likes small women."

"Don't you think he's a little young for you? He's nineteen, Mara. Do you want someone that young alone with Kathy?"

"He's responsible," said Mara. "He's got to be if he's in Intel. It's not like I'm proposing marriage, we've just met. We're still trying to see if we're made for each other."

"Which is why you were screaming your orgasm for the whole base to hear at three in the morning, Mara. This isn't like you."

"Yeah, it isn't," Mara said softly, nodding her head in agreement. "He's just that hot. Anyway... just in case, I'll drive by the hotel Miles was in. I owe you and Andrea that much, at least. Even if he's checked out, he's got to have left his address on file with them."

"Should wait till Andrea wakes up," said Nadia. "No offence, but he'll respond to me or her better than to you. I think he really cares for her."

Mara nodded. At ten that morning, Nadia and Andrea arrived at the hotel, this time with Nahum, Henry and Greg.

---

10:00 AM

Hotel Lobby

"So, Miles said the problem with Mara was that she had a kid," said Henry.

"Oh, that's it?" Nadia replied. "Well, I have one, too..." Assuming the Kravenites didn't kill him...

"Well," said Greg, "Miles would only raise his own child with a woman. Mara's a nice looking girl, and she seems warm, caring, friendly... but the problem is that whoever dates her would have to be involved with her little girl."

"I'll have to tell her that," said Nadia. "She thought that he left her because her breasts weren't big enough. Andrea's a much larger size than her, and Mara's apparently had issues with her body since I grew to a C. I'll have to let her know that it's nothing to do with her body, and everything to do with Miles."

Nahum and Andrea approached the desk clerk, asking for any and all records on Miles Mason that they had, especially any contact information he may have given in order to register.

Yes the hotel did have the contact of information of Miles, but it was of his Hugh Mercer persona. Even if they called the number listed it would be invalid. The phone numbers had been cut off with the return of Miles back to Agency.

"Well, we can't get ahold of him," said the desk clerk. "The number isn't valid. I'm sure you've given people fake numbers," he said, looking at Andrea.

"If you have any other way of getting ahold of him, I'd like to hear it. Maybe I can get that bitch who ran off with my kids while we're at it. Sorry."

Nahum groaned. Which one of us has experience with the military police...? Ah. He pulled out his cell phone. "Mara. Do you have any idea of how we can get ahold of him?"

"Well, first I would assume that neither Hugh Mercer nor Miles Mason is his real name. They're probably both aliases. Secondly, I'd try and get a fingerprint match from him, and one of us here who's a bit better with computers than I am can try and patch it through the Canadstein goverment database. Then we find out who he really is."

"I'm pretty sure it's his real identity," said Nadia, who could hear her. "He wasn't here under any real cover, and he didn't have a mission here - just wanted to see me. I think we should look for records of Miles Mason, of course, but he may have a code name, or even a number, so we wouldn't look for him in the employment rolls of the Agency. I'd say looking through housing records, voter registration, vehicle registration..."

"Good idea," said Mara. "I wonder if Amos can help. He's in Intel."

"OK," said Henry. "Just don't keep us awake all night again."

That day, they scoured for anything that could conceivably hold Miles' fingerprints, took their own for elimination, and performed Google and other Web searches for anything relating to Miles Mason. Mara was also able to gain access to the military police computer hardware to help locate him.

No record of Miles Mason would be found. Every record of Miles had been destroyed once he became inducted into the agency. This was a precaution, so if he was captured it would not lead back to the Canadstein government. All agents had to agree to this. They were literally a citizen of no country.

But a secret record did exist of each agent. It was in the main server of the Agency's HQ. Each agent had been given a number. In total there was 149 agents. Miles' number happened to be 126, but it would be next to impossible to deceiver which one was Miles. In the file it would just give a brief physical description, a brief history of pass assignments and training, and their living arrangements.

It would be days before they managed to narrow the 149 agents down to even twenty of them; they had eliminated the females, then the ones who were 10 years older or younger than Miles according to their physical descriptions, then they began to narrow to those who had had operations in Kahanistan.

"OK," said Henry. "How do we find these people in a nation of about four billion? We can't find jack on them in the civilian sector."

"I don't know..." said Nadia. "Then again, he's probably done one of two things; he's gone back to Canadstein, in which case we can find him after around six months... or he's gone to the mountains or jungle to live as a primitive again. If that's the case, we can canvass the area with some scout planes and see if there are any cases of unusual human activity in days - locate him in weeks."

"Of course, he's probably dead by now, if he's done that. I say we just file a missing person's report in Canadstein, claim that someone with his description went missing and use their own resources to track him," said Mara. "Personally, I'd just give up on him - we don't have the resources for an international hunt and we don't have the basis to muster one."

She sat down and sighed. "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they're yours... if not, it was never meant to be."

Nadia looked at her. "What?"

"If Miles feels the way about you that he says... he'll come back to you," said Mara. "If not... it was never meant to be."

"Well, I don't think it was meant to be," said Nadia. "That doesn't mean he needs to live in the wilds like an animal. Just because I'm not in love doesn't mean I don't care about him."

Mara nodded. "We should let him make his own decisions. I hope he does get out of there. I hope he sees where his emotional problems have gotten him and he gets some help."

Yes they had narrowed it down to twenty people, but they were searching in the wrong place. All of them thought that Miles was within the borders of Canadstein, but he was actually on a mission. Once he returned back to the HQ, which symbolized an end of a vacation, he was debriefed, then was whisked away. So the chances of finding him were pretty slim now. Unless they wanted to find him once he returned.

Within a few days, Nadia and company were sick of hunting for a needle in a haystack. They would simply conduct occasional scans on the computer until Miles either showed up in Canadstein under one of the searches, or returned to Africa.

Nadia once again threw herself back into her political activism and military meetings, daily ingesting large quantities of Prozac to help her cope with the loss of her baby and then the loss of her friend. Andrea, slowly regaining her emotions and continuing to undergo stem cell treatment, continued to look occasionally, and was growing steadily disillusioned with working as a secretary with her rank. She was more interested in returning to intelligence - maybe she could find Miles, maybe she could return to her old career.

Henry and Greg were moved later that week to an armoured division in the south of the country. Nahum was recruited with his old commission as a captain and integrated into the base security staff.

Mara didn't seem to be seriously concerned one way or the other about Miles. Her relationship with Amos seemed to be falling apart - he was significantly younger and not interested in a relationship, only interested in sex. He seemed to want nothing to do with Kathy.