NationStates Jolt Archive

The 10 Tenets of Qazian are the analogue of the RL "Ten Commandments" they are as follows:


There is no God but the one true God, and he is Joe.
Seriously, we catch you worshipping something other than God, you'll be very sorry.
Thou shall not kill Oxen, but you can kill everything else.
Thou shall not lie, unless you know you can get away with it.
Thou shall treat all people and animals with respect, except for those dammed wombats, I don't care what you do with them.
Thou shall not kill with indiscrimination, unless the bastard had really it coming.
Thou shall treat others as you would treat yourself, unless they are dick-heads, then treat them like crap.
Thou shall not make fun of those less fortunate than you, unless your a comedian, then its okay by me.
Thou shall not declare war in my name, unless you know you can kick their ass in a week or so.
If thou break my tenets, thou shall perish in hell, unless you maybe make a contribution the the church, see what I am saying?


Just wondering in your country what is the equivalent of the 10 commandments?? (that is if your country has religion, and isn't Jewish or Christian (all type of them)

Thou shall treat all people and animals with respect, except for those dammed wombats, I don't care what you do with them.

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/diprotodon2.jpg
We are mightily aggrieved.

We are mightily aggrieved.

By Damnned Wombats, we are refering to the Common Wombat [Vombatus ursinus] of the Continuum, pictured here: (they eat too many of our Rutabegas, the national Vegetable of Qazox) http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/6e/Vombatus_ursinus_%28Wombat_in_snow%29.jpg/250px-Vombatus_ursinus_%28Wombat_in_snow%29.jpg (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/6e/Vombatus_ursinus_%28Wombat_in_snow%29.jpg/250px-Vombatus_ursinus_%28Wombat_in_snow%29.jpg)


We rather like the sniffer wombats, and wonder if they eat Common Wombats?

The Holy Synod of the Archregimancy hereby re-states its adherence to the original 10 Commandments, and offers its no-doubt-expected ritual denouncement of the Qazox heathen oxen-worshippers.

Ain't nothing wrong worshipping Oxen... They did it in the Bible until the 10 Commandents came down right??? IF anything My religion is older so :p

We rather like the sniffer wombats, and wonder if they eat Common Wombats?

Only if they've been to a tannery first.

Ain't nothing wrong worshipping Oxen... They did it in the Bible until the 10 Commandents came down right??? IF anything My religion is older so :p

"Slightly confused historical theology there" muses Fr. Seraphim the Occasionally Dangerously Free-Thinking Theologian "but leaving that aside... one wonders if the oxen worshippers of Qazox are aware of what the Lord Our God did to the worshippers of Baal in the story of Elijah, or what happened when the Children of Israel started worshipping a Golden Calf in Exodus? Latter event taking place while Moses was up Mount Sinai getting the Ten Commandments, not before...."



ooc - Qaz, I am only having some IC fun, and am in danger of hijacking your thread, which I don't really want to do; so don't feel you have to answer - unless of course you want to

ooc - Qaz, I am only having some IC fun, and am in danger of hijacking your thread, which I don't really want to do; so don't feel you have to answer - unless of course you want to

{{OOC Arch: It's why i put the thread up in the first place}}

Dear Fr. Seraphim the Occasionally Dangerously Free-Thinking Theologian:

It has come to our attention that you disagree with the fact that BEFORE the ten commandments came down from Mt. Sinai, the Israelites worshipped a Golden Calf. As any theologian knows, they did. As to the other charges of Baal in Elijah, never heard of him. Elijah yes, Baal no. We here at O.X.E.N. (Old eXestenialist Earth Nerds) are only releasing these tenets as a way to convert more people to our religion, as the Catholic church does with BINGO and pancake suppers. We also are willing to allow other countries, heathen they may be, to debate and to post their beliefs here, so we can mock them.

Sincerely Yours, Priest Alebert of Fromburg, Head O.X.E.N.

Dear Heathen 'Priest' Alebert,

Fr. Seraphim has asked us to quote for you the relevant portion of 1 Kings 18.

17 And it came to pass, when Ahab saw Elijah, that Ahab said unto him, Art thou he that troubleth Israel?

18 And he answered, I have not troubled Israel; but thou, and thy father's house, in that ye have forsaken the commandments of the LORD, and thou hast followed Baalim.

19 Now therefore send, and gather to me all Israel unto mount Carmel, and the prophets of Baal four hundred and fifty, and the prophets of the groves four hundred, which eat at Jezebel's table.

20 So Ahab sent unto all the children of Israel, and gathered the prophets together unto mount Carmel.

21 And Elijah came unto all the people, and said, How long halt ye between two opinions? if the LORD be God, follow him: but if Baal, then follow him. And the people answered him not a word.

22 Then said Elijah unto the people, I, even I only, remain a prophet of the LORD; but Baal's prophets are four hundred and fifty men.

23 Let them therefore give us two bullocks; and let them choose one bullock for themselves, and cut it in pieces, and lay it on wood, and put no fire under: and I will dress the other bullock, and lay it on wood, and put no fire under:

24 And call ye on the name of your gods, and I will call on the name of the LORD: and the God that answereth by fire, let him be God. And all the people answered and said, It is well spoken.

25 And Elijah said unto the prophets of Baal, Choose you one bullock for yourselves, and dress it first; for ye are many; and call on the name of your gods, but put no fire under.

26 And they took the bullock which was given them, and they dressed it, and called on the name of Baal from morning even until noon, saying, O Baal, hear us. But there was no voice, nor any that answered. And they leaped upon the altar which was made.

27 And it came to pass at noon, that Elijah mocked them, and said, Cry aloud: for he is a god; either he is talking, or he is pursuing, or he is in a journey, or peradventure he sleepeth, and must be awaked.

28 And they cried aloud, and cut themselves after their manner with knives and lancets, till the blood gushed out upon them.

29 And it came to pass, when midday was past, and they prophesied until the time of the offering of the evening sacrifice, that there was neither voice, nor any to answer, nor any that regarded.

30 And Elijah said unto all the people, Come near unto me. And all the people came near unto him. And he repaired the altar of the LORD that was broken down.

31 And Elijah took twelve stones, according to the number of the tribes of the sons of Jacob, unto whom the word of the LORD came, saying, Israel shall be thy name:

32 And with the stones he built an altar in the name of the LORD: and he made a trench about the altar, as great as would contain two measures of seed.

33 And he put the wood in order, and cut the bullock in pieces, and laid him on the wood, and said, Fill four barrels with water, and pour it on the burnt sacrifice, and on the wood.

34 And he said, Do it the second time. And they did it the second time. And he said, Do it the third time. And they did it the third time.

35 And the water ran round about the altar; and he filled the trench also with water.

36 And it came to pass at the time of the offering of the evening sacrifice, that Elijah the prophet came near, and said, LORD God of Abraham, Isaac, and of Israel, let it be known this day that thou art God in Israel, and that I am thy servant, and that I have done all these things at thy word.

37 Hear me, O LORD, hear me, that this people may know that thou art the LORD God, and that thou hast turned their heart back again.

38 Then the fire of the LORD fell, and consumed the burnt sacrifice, and the wood, and the stones, and the dust, and licked up the water that was in the trench.

39 And when all the people saw it, they fell on their faces: and they said, The LORD, he is the God; the LORD, he is the God.

40 And Elijah said unto them, Take the prophets of Baal; let not one of them escape. And they took them: and Elijah brought them down to the brook Kishon, and slew them there.

So as you can quite plainly see, sacrificing an oxen is perfectly alright (though it strikes us as a little Old Testament for our tastes) so long as one calls upon the One True God. Sacrificing an oxen to a false god, or - arguably worse - worshipping a false god that also happens to be an oxen, only gets you slain by an angry prophet next to a Palestinian stream. Though again, that's a little blood-thirsty for our tastes. We shall merely choose to slap anathema on your little sect of idol-worshipping heathens.

Yours in Christ,

The Holy Synod of the Archregimancy

It should be noted in Jeruselem for a religion to function, it must be authorised bt the government. At the moment, we have over 1000 recorded sects, sub-sects and micro-sects of Christianity, Islam and Judaism. The Qazian religion is too similar to forms banned Satanism in Jeruselem to be authorised to function. Scientology is not a religion in Jeruselem but we prefer the the Qazian religion over Scientology.

Father Joseph Benedictine
Member of the Committee for Religious Matters in Jeruselem

While Ketrianism (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ketrianism) is a minority sect in Zwangzug, it is still the most prevalent religion. The first two of its Five Laws are "Lift for all" and "Take no sentient life".

{{OOC Arch: It's why i put the thread up in the first place}}

We here at O.X.E.N. (Old eXestenialist Earth Nerds) are only releasing these tenets as a way to convert more people to our religion, as the Catholic church does with BINGO and pancake suppers.

We in the Holy Empire of Tolvarus take offense at this statement. As everyone knows, we only use pancake brunches for conversions, pancake suppers are just social gatherings with no ulterior motives besides the obvious fundraising. As for BINGO, it has been outlawed in Tolvarus and replaced by the popular game TOLVAR (The same rules, just with 1 more letter). We find that in our own citizens, a good way to convert and keep people in the Church is to give them a large amount of tax relief. This in no way prevents others from freedom of worship, while at the same time rewarding those of the Empire's religion. Coupled with the fact that while gatherings of other religions in public or private places is not prevented, but actual church/mosques/synagogues are illegal, 99.9% of our population is Catholic. We think the same strategy may work for you, but that trying to actually convert other sovereign nations will be both unsuccessful and may cause hostility in some cases.

Sir Markus Silvor
Secretary to Archbishop Karl Paccel, Minister of Foreign Affairs

Dear Father Joseph Benedictine,
Member of the Committee for Religious Matters in Jeruselem:

Satanism??? We don't sacrifice virgins at the full moon on All Hallow's Eve!!! We don't practice Sacrifice at all, unless you count the Common Wombat, and even then we don't count them, as, with exception to sniffer wombats, we don't even consider them as creature of Joe at all. As for Scientology, we'd rather worship wombats.

Sincerely Yours, Priest Alebert of Fromburg, Head O.X.E.N.

Dear Sir Markus Silvor,
Secretary to Archbishop Karl Paccel, Minister of Foreign Affairs, Tolvarus:

It seems to us that any religion that has to use subverted methodolgy such as Pancake Brunches and/or Dinners for fundraising is clearly not worth the attention. For example in Qazox, 15% of a person taxes go directly into the Qazian Chruch Fund, which supplies less well-to-do churches with any required income for pew repair or holographic stained-glass windows. In this way, the population is assured of the most modern houses of worship possible, with having to resort to fundrasing.

Sincerely Yours, Priest Alebert of Fromburg, Head O.X.E.N.

Dear Sir Markus Silvor,
Secretary to Archbishop Karl Paccel, Minister of Foreign Affairs, Tolvarus:

It seems to us that any religion that has to use subverted methodolgy such as Pancake Brunches and/or Dinners for fundraising is clearly not worth the attention. For example in Qazox, 15% of a person taxes go directly into the Qazian Chruch Fund, which supplies less well-to-do churches with any required income for pew repair or holographic stained-glass windows. In this way, the population is assured of the most modern houses of worship possible, with having to resort to fundrasing.

Sincerely Yours, Priest Alebert of Fromburg, Head O.X.E.N.

You think any priest in Tolvarus would stoop to running a Pancake Breakfast/Brunch/Dinner? Our percentage of taxes to the state religion of Catholicism is only 1% less than your own, and is not split among multiple religions. These pancake "meals" are generally used as fund-raisers by the Church's youth so that they can afford to go on retreats and other faith-oriented activities which their parents won't have to pay. Perhaps in some countries that are not openly Catholic or friendly to the Church, they might actually have to use those pancake "meals" as support for their churches, but I assure you, in Tolvarus where all priests have mansions on Insulo Sacerdos and complementary government-bought luxury sports cars, this is not the case.

Sir Markus Silvor
Secretary to Archbishop Karl Paccel, Minister of Foreign Affairs

OOC: It varies from place to place, but at least around where I live, all of the pancake breakfasts are run by high school/middle school youth for retreats and youth conferences and stuff.

... and is not split among multiple religions. These pancake "meals" are generally used as fund-raisers by the Church's youth so that they can afford to go on retreats and other faith-oriented activities which their parents won't have to pay...

Sir Markus Silvor
Secretary to Archbishop Karl Paccel, Minister of Foreign Affairs



We here at O.X.E.N are shocked that such accusations are levied at the Qazian Church! There is only ONE religion in Qazox, and that is Qazian. We do allow people not of Qazian religion to believe what ever they want to, but they certainly don't get a governement stipend. As for the Fund-raisers for impoverished youth to go on retreats and such, that we have no problem with, and in fact the Qazian church may actully start having Waffle Suppers in order to pay for our poorer youth to go on retreats. Pancakes are so 17th century, and Waffles are the future, as said By Hoofaran in Book 9, Chapter 7 verse 13:
Verily I say to you that panned-cakes are of the past and shall not be eaten, only Wafuls, which are filled with thine nooks and crannies shall be eaten in indeed such a time that fundraising events are needed to provide the young'uns some moolah to go to camp.

We here at O.X.E.N are shocked that such accusations are levied at the Qazian Church! There is only ONE religion in Qazox, and that is Qazian. We do allow people not of Qazian religion to believe what ever they want to, but they certainly don't get a governement stipend. As for the Fund-raisers for impoverished youth to go on retreats and such, that we have no problem with, and in fact the Qazian church may actully start having Waffle Suppers in order to pay for our poorer youth to go on retreats. Pancakes are so 17th century, and Waffles are the future, as said By Hoofaran in Book 9, Chapter 7 verse 13:
Verily I say to you that panned-cakes are of the past and shall not be eaten, only Wafuls, which are filled with thine nooks and crannies shall be eaten in indeed such a time that fundraising events are needed to provide the young'uns some moolah to go to camp.

OOC: Sorry, I misread your post before, I thought you meant less well-to-do religions, not less well-to-do individual churches.

Dear Father Joseph Benedictine,
Member of the Committee for Religious Matters in Jeruselem:

Satanism??? We don't sacrifice virgins at the full moon on All Hallow's Eve!!! We don't practice Sacrifice at all, unless you count the Common Wombat, and even then we don't count them, as, with exception to sniffer wombats, we don't even consider them as creature of Joe at all. As for Scientology, we'd rather worship wombats.

Sincerely Yours, Priest Alebert of Fromburg, Head O.X.E.N.

We do have still people in Jeruselem who are not Qazian but cling to ancient Canannite rituals not dissimilar to the Qazian ones. Unfortunately, some of these people are quite fond of animal sacrifice and we really would like to stamp out this practice. While we acknowledge Qazian seems not to have the animal sacrifice are part of the religion, the current form of Qazian would still face far too much opposition from most groups here to be accepted.

Father Joseph Benedictine,
Member of the Committee for Religious Matters in Jeruselem