NationStates Jolt Archive

The National Office of Environment and animal control of Eraeya have a difficult issue which requires help from other nations. Due to inbreed our national animal, the Karthusian, is slowly degrading from a fierce hunter feline to a weak fat sofa cat. As an additional problem, the population of hairy tree mice is vastly increasing (thank you Mousebumples!).

Hence this cry out to kind nations who would trade in soms Karthusians for other feline or other-sorted animals for a cross-breeding programme, to genetically reinforce our Karthusians.

Generous regards, the Republic of Eraeya

The Dictatorship of BombleOfficial Message

To whom it may concern,

What does the Karthusian taste like? It seems fairly similar to a household cat, so would taste a little like chicken I presume.

Please let us know. There is a serious meat shortage here in Bomble. It has got so desperate that we have resorted to Ferret.

Yours sincerely,

John Jackson,
Acting Environmental Advisor

I can tell you one thing: they taste a bunch better than ferret! Less musk, I guess. Karthusians indeed taste like tiny little chicks or quails, plus they're very healthy. Lots of beta-carotines! Nyum!

Maybe we could make a trade-off? A sufficient number of our fattest Karthusians in trade for... What is your national animal again?

The Columba Livia Domestica Insurgia, colloquially known as the "punkass dove" is widely regarded as a mascot of the Federated Anarchist Communes and Workers' Collectives of Free Outer Eugenia.

The Livia Domestica Insurgia is a variation of the common pigeon with a propensity for dropping excrement, small pebbles and burning twigs on the heads of priests, capitalists and bureaucrats. They were nearly wiped out in the colonial period, but they have made a strong comeback since the revolution. If you want to cross breed them with your national animals, you will have to come get them yourselves. A small village commune in the Big Rock Candy Mountains once attempted to cultivate the Domestica Insurgia as a food source. Needless to say the project (and alas the commune itself) had to be abandoned shortly afterwards.

The Free Outer Eugenian Ornithological Society is currently investigating some recent reports that the Domestica Insurgia have learned to construct and use small incendiary devices.

-Edgar M'bah,
Free Outer Eugenian Ornithological Society

High-esteemed Mr. M'bah,

After a fiery debate with the Office members and the Consul of Traveller Safety, we have come to the conclusion that due to low succeeding chances of breeding cats and pigeons combined with the obviously high risk involved in completing the trade-off, we have decided to abandon this nicely offered deal, though it was of course very highly appreciated. If in any circumstance our Office may assist you, feel welcome to communicate further on the subject.

Collegial greetings,

Ms G.D. Combibble,
Secretary of O.E.A.C

We have an overabundance of Cheshire Cats on the vacation island of New Beertopia. Sadly old Beertopia is a radioactive crater. The Cheshire Cat comes in a variety of colors, orange, purple, green, and polka dotted. They are quite capable of surviving in the wild, and have a very nice sense of humor. Unfortunately hats and tea tend to disappear inexplicably around them. :)

The Psychoses of Contrarians also has chesire cats that you could use in your breeding program. They have a tendency to distort logic but are noted as arboreal hunters.

Quote: Welcome, Contrarians.
You last visited: 01-01-1970 at 1:00 AM

:confused:

OOC: hey, you've been on NS since before web browsers. Either that or it does that the first time that you log on to the forums:rolleyes:

Fellow cat holding nations,

Thank you for these kind offers! Chesire cats would indeed improve the quality of our Karthusians.

To the kind nation of Commonalitarianism: we would be very glad to take those overabundant chesires off your hands. If you like, you can cross-breed your own chesire cats with our Karthusians for a nice orange-eyed touch to your polka dots. Come to think of it, those would make wonderful rugs.
And we're not a tea-drinking, hat-wearing nation anyway. In fact, hats are forbidden since the Second Pirate Revolution of 1957.

to the nation of Contrarians: the distorted logic is a small price to pay for the apparently great hunter skills of the chesires. We .really. have to get rid of the hairy tree mice. We have already had to many victims to allergies.

Greetings,

the Secretary of O.E.A.C

We are glad you like our Cheshire Cats. We will be dropping them off by Aeroscraft jet cargo blimp. They will be delivered on our way to the land of Narnia Reconstituted. Don't worry the cats are only a small part of the cargo.

http://www.aerosml.com/cruiser.htm

That's very kind of you. We will begin preparations for your arrival (sweeping up the blimp landing track and such).

At arrival, you can make a selection of our finest number of karthusians with traits to your liking.

dearest regards,

the O.E.A.C

Cheshire cats are quite amicable. We will be placing 10,000 Cheshire Cats on the runway. Each cat of course comes with its own potted tree. Cheshire Cats are quite fond of their native trees. In return we look forward to bringing home many Karthusian cats.

Regards,

Yoyo Ohno, Miinster of Hospitality

Cheshire cats are quite amicable. We will be placing 10,000 Cheshire Cats on the runway. Each cat of course comes with its own potted tree. Cheshire Cats are quite fond of their native trees. In return we look forward to bringing home many Karthusian cats.

Regards,

Yoyo Ohno, Miinster of Hospitality

The trees are a nice bonus, thank you very much. Even a good environment can be improved!

Kind regards,

the O.E.A.C.

The Department of Environmental Quality offers you the chance to crossbreed with the Hellcats.

A Full blooded Hellcat is nearly the size of the common Lion.

Its fur is Black and Red, and its Claws are prized for their sharpness.

They have a very mean temper and are prone to attack anything that moves. We wouldn't import the cats directly, rather we would take some Karthusians back to our Laboratories for controlled cross breeding. We are sure that the docil Karthusian-Hellcat cross breeds would be docile enough to not attack humans, unless threatend by them.

Oh yes, their also Faster than the common Cheeta by about ten miles per hour. Their Strong and Muscular, and should be more than violent enough to take care of the Hairy tree mice and the forests they live in.

High-esteemed leaders of Ri-an,

We would be glad to lend you some Karthusians for this experiment and await the results.

But of course you must understand that such an agreement would inevitably require some terms of agreement. We propose the following.

-We agree to cede a limited number of Karthusians (quality, breedworthy ones, of course). You will pick them up yourself.

-The responsibility of this experiment is entirely your own.
Should it fail in some way, you may not in any case place the blame on any official government organ of the Republic of Eraeya. We will however, in the case that your nation or its people are in some way threatened by the results of the experiment, provide you with sufficient shelter until your own nation is relieved of the problem.

-Should the experiment succeed, you will henceforth provide our nation with a sufficient number of cross-bred Hellkarthusians, allowing us to breed a number of them ourselves.

-Should the experiment succeed, but the results of it be in any way be a threat to our people or our original creations, the Hellkarthusians will be your complete responsibility. The government of Eraeya and the Office of Environment and Animal Control hereby releases itself from any duty concerning the Hellkarthusians.

We grant you permission to pick up the Karthusians any time soon, and stay over for a cup of coffee.

Greetings,

the O.E.A.C.

To the kind nation of Commonalitarianism

First of all our sincerest apologies for the little mishap with your blimp. We will pay for the light bulbs, just TG us the bill.

We are very pleased to inform you that all the trees are nicely planted amongst our own, and your chesires seem happy about it. We have begun the first cross-breeding experiments, but we are obliged to say that natural cross-breeding seems to work even faster. your chesires appear to be quite the go-getters. The number of hairy tree mice have slightly decreased.

It gives to say that the trade-off was a big succes from our point of view!
How are the Karthusians doing over there?

Kind regards,

the O.E.A.C.

High-esteemed leaders of Ri-an,

We would be glad to lend you some Karthusians for this experiment and await the results.

But of course you must understand that such an agreement would inevitably require some terms of agreement. We propose the following.

-We agree to cede a limited number of Karthusians (quality, breedworthy ones, of course). You will pick them up yourself.

-The responsibility of this experiment is entirely your own.
Should it fail in some way, you may not in any case place the blame on any official government organ of the Republic of Eraeya. We will however, in the case that your nation or its people are in some way threatened by the results of the experiment, provide you with sufficient shelter until your own nation is relieved of the problem.

-Should the experiment succeed, you will henceforth provide our nation with a sufficient number of cross-bred Hellkarthusians, allowing us to breed a number of them ourselves.

-Should the experiment succeed, but the results of it be in any way be a threat to our people or our original creations, the Hellkarthusians will be your complete responsibility. The government of Eraeya and the Office of Environment and Animal Control hereby releases itself from any duty concerning the Hellkarthusians.

We grant you permission to pick up the Karthusians any time soon, and stay over for a cup of coffee.

Greetings,

the O.E.A.C.

We Wouldn't have it any other way.
-Lady Ri-an, Mother and Ruler of all Ri-an.

And so, an ordinary looking ship, with an ordinary looking crew came sailing over for just that occasion.

Some time later, it would return, with approximatly 50,000 adult Hellkarthusians, half male, half Female, and 50,000 Cubs.

The Adutls were mean and looked threatening.

With it, was a Hellkarthusian care manual. It advised to keep the Hellkarthusians well apart from each other, at least a mile.
The Hellkarthusians appeared to not be overly violent towards the original Karthusians, and though with time and crossbreeding, most of the hellcat traits would be bred out, there would still be some Black and Red in their fur, and the claws would still be sharper than some would remember, and they would be still be meaner than the original Karthusians. Overall, it was forcasted to be a success.

No problem with the light bulbs, we needed to replace them with energy efficient fluorescent bulbs anyway. You have given us a nice opportunity. There is no need for a bill.

The Karthusians are doing quite well. They have taken a likening to church buildings and many seem to hang around the different denominations. One has even become a favorite at the Citizens Assembly House, Citizen Senator Adobo has named him Cato the Elder.

Numerous citizens have taken to them as well. They are popular in the communal houses of the Ohyayians. They especially like bean bag chairs and overstuffed sofas common in the Ohyayian home.

Regards,

Yoyo Ohno, Minister of Hospitality