NationStates Jolt Archive

QSPN2 LIVE

Janet Dobb: "Hi there, all of those in Qazox, and around the World. Welcome to the Women's World Cup 11 Draw! The QFC, the Qazoxian Football Council, has decided on 3 groups of play. Groups A and B will consist of 5 teams each, while Group C will consist of 4 teams. For the first time at a Women's World Cup since Women's World Cup 2, there will be a second round of group play. The top 2 teams in each group, plus the 3rd place teams in Groups A and B will advance to a Secondary stage, which will be seeded based on records. The top 2 teams from each of those groups will play in the semifinals. And now without further ado, The Women's World Cup Draw:

For the purposes of this draw, Qazox has been placed in Group A, and the Defending Champions, Wentland, have been placed in Group B. The other 12 teams have been placed in a pot, and in a second pot, 12 balls, 4 with A, 4 with B, 4 with C have been placed. A team will be drawn from Pot A then a Group from pot B. To assist me with the Draw is 3-time TOUR de QAZOX winner, Greg Johansen."

Johansen: "From Pot A: Quakmybush and Pot B: Group A!"

Dobb: "From Pot A: Swilatia and Pot B: Group C!"

Johansen: "Pot A: St Samuel; Pot B: Group C!"

Dobb: "From Pot A is: Corneliu, and their group is: Group B!"

Johansen: "The next team is: Green wombat and the group they'll be in is: Group A!"

Dobb: "Ok halfway point, Next Team is: Jeru FC and they will be in Group....C!"

Johansen: "Ok the next team drawn is....LancasterCounty! They will play in Group...B!"

Dobb: "Moving on, the next team draw is...Sativaville and the group is...Group A... weird, all the Q Continuum teams in one group!!"

Johansen: "yes that is weird. As for the next team...Cafundéu, will play in Group B!"

Dobb: "That leaves three teams, and one team left for each group. So the next team will be...Jeruselem! They will play in Group C! That completes Group C."

Johansen "Should be interesting there, Jeruselem vs. Jeru FC... As for the next team it is...Formal Dances 2 and they will be in Group B!"

Dobb: "That leaves only Estresse Intenso, and Group A. Let's take a look at the complete Group tables:

GROUP A
ESTRESSE INTENSO
GREEN WOMBAT
SATIVAVILLE
QAZOX
QUAKMYBUSH

GROUP B
CAFUNDEU
CORNELIU
FORMAL DANCES 2
LANCASTERCOUNTY
WENTLAND

GROUP C
JERU FC
JERUSELEM
ST SAMUEL
SWILATIA

Dobb: "And the important part now, the Scheduling and locations.

MD 1
Groups A&B
2 vs. 3 @ Lorax Field (Lorax City) Capacity: 76,500.
4 vs. 5 @ Fromburg Field (Fromburg) Capacity: 65,000.
1- BYE
GROUP C- BYE
MD 2
Groups A&B
1 vs. 3 @ Chivas Field at Hobb's Park (SaxerVilla) Capacity: 63,155.
2 vs. 4 @ Toro Rojo Stadium (Las Vitas) Capacity: 70,000.
5- BYE
Group C @ Irene Jacobvitz Stadium (Kibbutz) Capacity: 66,000.
1 vs. 3
2 vs. 4
MD 3
Groups A&B
1 vs. 4 @ Ganja Vodka Park (Lake Porter City) Capacity: 67,984.
2 vs. 5 @ Lorax Field (Lorax City) Capacity: 76,500.
3- BYE
Group C @ Chivas Field at Hobb's Park (SaxerVilla) Capacity: 63,155.
1 vs. 4
2 vs. 3
MD 4
Groups A&B
1 vs. 2 @ Fromburg Field (Fromburg) Capacity: 65,000.
3 vs. 5 @ Toro Rojo Stadium (Las Vitas) Capacity: 70,000.
4-BYE
Group C- BYE
MD 5
Groups A&B
1 vs. 5 @ Irene Jacobvitz Stadium (Kibbutz) Capacity: 66,000.
3 vs. 4 @ Ganja Vodka Park (Lake Porter City) Capacity: 67,984.
2-BYE
GROUP C @ Lorax Field (Lorax City) Capacity: 76,500.
2 vs. 1
4 vs. 3


Dobb: "The secondary stage draw, schedule, and locations will be done aft er the conclusion of the 1st round. Thank you all for coming to Qazox and good luck to all."

Jeruselem

Formation: 4-4-2 (4-4-1-1)
Attack: +2

Coach - Kate Bush
Assistant Bimbo: Dazza Dallas
Reporter - Dazza Dallas, again

Kate's taken over but Dazza is still there just as eye candy and the assistant bitch

GK Smetznova Kushava, 30 - The bitch doesn't know the meaning of NO or CANNOT.
GK Kissie Logan, 16 - Cheerleader turned goalkeeper. Dances after every big save when there's time.

DEF - Angie Jolly, 26 - Tempermental bitch. No one likes her at all except herself.
DEF - Fridau Krantz, 25 - She's a bit of a Nazi when it comes to football
DEF - Fix Foster, 21 - Her Mum was from Qazox, and she could play for Qazox if wanted too but stays loyal to her new nation.
DEF - Lara Croft, 29 - Action girl, gets into the game from minute 0 and does not stop. Sometimes too energetic for her own good.
DEF - Silly Filly, 32 - Small girl with little going except she tries 200%. Lack of skill is her problem but she never gives up at all.
DEF - Durrai Kost, 20 - Nickname "Glue" due to her ability to "stick" to her opponent

MID - Hikfie Dallas, 20 - NOT another Dallas. Yes, another of Debbie's daughters. A bit of a clown.
MID - Monique Alexander, 32, Q-Cup I player. Likes sex, lots of it like Dazza. Models with some mob who do pr0n (CAPTAIN)
MID - Bibi Goldstein, 23 - younger sister of Anna Goldstein the football player (not the reporter). A good talent and giggles like Dazza.
MID - Terry Henry, 27 - French chick! Uber fashionable off-field.
MID - Chrissie Ronaldo, 28 - Master diver, well 2nd to Dazza. Very skilled still but likes being horizontal when needed.
MID - Kelly Goldstein, 17 - Professional hairdresser too and likes spikey hair.

STK - Shama Shaya Saja Sa, 27 - Otherwise known as Miss S, she's a threat to slow defenses. Great ball control and loves to chip sleeping keepers
STK - Dazza Folkstia, 27 - Nothing the real Dazza, keeps to herself but on the football field she turns into a demon.
STK - Sister Haven, 24 - sister of Brother Haven. Also a nurse and worked in war zones.
STK - Dinkie Dosha, 26 - World Cup 33 player. A Jewish Dazza who keeps her clothes on.

Choose my scorers: Yes
Cards: Not red
Injuries: No thanks
GodMode: If it involves obscenity and Dazza

Jeru FC

Formation: 4-3-3 (4-3-2-1)
Attack: +3

Coach: Rashina Dallas
Captain: Rashina Dallas, 39.
Other players: Real names confidential due to military secrecy act

GK: Player 11
DEF: Player 1-4 (Rashina Dallas is 1)
MID Player 5-7
ATT Player 8-10

Reserves
GK: Player 17
DEF: Player 11-12
MID: Player 13-14
ATT: Player 15-16

Choose my scorers: Yes
Cards: Not red
Injuries: No thanks, but military jokes are fine even if they are awful!

<The Dallas clan was watching TV with the Women's World Cup XI draw>

Rashina: You're joking! My team have to play Jeruselem (gets annoyed)
Debbie: (laughs) What's wrong Rashina.
Rashina: I get my first coaching job and I have coach against my old team, and with bimbo on the coaching staff. (head in hands)
Dazza: Hey, at least you know what you're up against!

Debbie: You have inside information, Rashina!
Rashina: Doesn't mean my team can execute it.
Dazza: Jeru FC can beat Swilatia and St Samuels, I'm sure.
Rashina: I'm in it now (moans)

<Hikfie turns up>

Hikfie: What's up, she looks distressed.
Dazza: Jeruselem and Jeru FC in same group
Hikfie: Err, you mean I'm going be playing Rashina's Jeru FC team? COOL!
Rashina: This will be interesting. Dazza, maybe a draw? Please!

Dazza: I'm not the coach, just the assistant. Talk to Kate Bush.
Debbie: Don't worry, you'll get a better team to coach later.
Rashina: I hope I don't mess this up.

Womens World Cup 11 - Cafundeu's chosen 23 - The Golden Girls:

The CFFC(Confederação de Futebol Feminino de Cafundéu - in English, the Cafundéu's Female Football Confederation), after a long year of preparations between the directors of the teams and the national coach, is sending the 23 players that will play the competition. The coach still is Mário Melkezedec Silveira.

See the 23 players:

Goalkeepers:

1-JAQUELINE Motta Lanna (Team: Clube Imperial)
Height: 195cm - Weight: 72kg - Age: 21 years old
Very tall, Jaqueline only appeared in the National League last year, and after an incredible first season, she became the National Team starter. She is considered the best talent of the whole team. After being prased so many times, she became a bit arrogant.
Rating: A - Team Relationship: C - Morale: A - Form: A

12-MELISSA Mancine (Team: SC Lasft)
Height: 182cm - Weight: 68kg - Age: 18 years old
One of the new young stars brought to the National Team by the hands of the coach Mário Silveira. She is extremely talented and determined, and surely will be the new goalkeeper star of the team in the next years. She just needs to get some experience, but she is close to succeed.
Rating: B - Team Relationship: B - Morale: B - Form: B

22-VICTÓRIA de Larjan Bueno (Team: Atlético Jutense)
Height: 182cm - Weight: 72kg - Age: 18 years old
Together with Melissa, Victória came to reinforce Cafundéu by Mário Silveira, a coach who likes to work with youngsters. In her case, she isn't so special and isn't such a promise for the future, but she is good enough to stay in the National Team. She has a good relationship with her team mates, but misses her family.
Rating: C - Team Relationship: A - Morale: C - Form: B

Right Defenders:

2-VANESSA Van Tocco (Team: Clube Imperial)
Height: 178cm - Weight: 55kg - Age: 26 years old
The niece of the emperor continues in the National Team, after playing a good year in the still champion squad of Clube Imperial. Now she is extremely happy with her current life, but continues arrogant. Played all the WWC that Cafundéu played.
Rating: A - Team Relationship: D - Morale: B - Form: A

14-Isadora Mendonça Campos RIBEIRO (Team: Cafundó do Juta)
Height: 156cm - Weight: 48kg - Age: 21 years old
The "little star" improved, but still isn't a great player, but she was called because of problems in the full-back position. She isn't a developed player, so she probably won't play very much. But she is really excited to be in a important competition like this one.
Rating: C - Team Relationship: B - Morale: B - Form: A

Left Defenders:

3-LUANA Hissenfeller Sawini (Team: Clube Imperial)
Height: 177cm - Weight: 55kg - Age: 25 years old
Still very talkative and friendly(considered the spokesperson of the team), everyone in Cafundéu likes Luana and her simple style. She plays with a smile in her face(in fact, looks like she ever smiles), with a very fast style and with good passing and dribbling. Now she is more mature and ready to play in the National Team, now in the left-back position. Had some personal problems last year, so her morale was affected.
Rating: A - Team Relationship: A - Morale: B - Form: A

13-KEYLA de Jesus dos Santos (Team: Abadia FC)
Height: 172cm - Weight: 66kg - Age: 28 years old.
Very catholic, Keyla is a woman of few words. Her team mates like her, but she stays quiet even when she must talk. She is very shy and become nervous in difficult situations, but can create plays very fast and can tackle her enemies with accuracy, although she isn't violent(when she makes a foul, she immediately apologizes).
Rating: C - Team Relationship: A - Morale: C - Form: B

Central Defenders:

4-Joana Guglielmi Moreira "MORENA" (Team: Atlético Jutense)
Height: 175cm - Weight: 65kg - Age: 30 years old.
After a very good first year in the National Team, Morena became one of the key players of the squad, with her vision and knowledge of the game. She has a good shooting ability and tackling ability, and is in good form.
Rating: B - Team Relationship: B - Morale: A - Form: A

6-SARAH Ohmar Águas (Team: Clube Imperial)
Height: 164cm - Weight: 53kg - Age: 27 years old
Got a place in the first team of the National Team after very good performances and improvements on the technical area. She attacks very much, wanting to score goals, even using his head for this(she is short, but heads well). Her abilities aren't defensive ones, but she fights a lot for the ball, and is very known in the media.
Rating: B - Team Relationship: A - Morale: A - Form: B

20-SABRINA Túlio Espaguete (Team: SC Lasft)
Height: 161cm - Weight: 53kg - Age: 23 years old
Sabrininha is naive and doesn't have enough experience to play often in the National Team, but her abilities surprised the coaches of SC Lasft, and now she is a starter in a great team. She has good tackling and passing, but isn't very good in other areas.
Rating: B - Team Relationship: B - Morale: B - Form: A

21-RAFAELA dos Santos (Team: Clube Imperial)
Height: 170cm - Weight: 65kg - Age: 23 years old
A very nice person, Rafaela is one of the few players of Clube Imperial which started to play in the team. She had a very good season as a starter and because of that got a place in the National Team. She is very fast and good at free kicks too.
Rating: C - Team Relationship: A - Morale: B - Form: B

Defensive Midfielders:

5-LETÍCIA Cabral Olivieri (Team: Clube Imperial)
Height: 165cm - Weight: 50kg - Age: 27 years old
Letícia continues being one of the most important players of the country, with her long passing, creativity and beautiful playes. Still one of the most beautiful women of the country, very famous inside and outside the field.
Rating: A - Team Relationship: B - Morale: A - Form: A

16-TATIana Frota Guimarães "PAÇOCA" (Team: Dínamo Lux)
Height: 162cm - Weight: 49kg - Age: 27 years old
After Viviane Paquetá had some problems with the police, Tati Paçoca was chosen to be an option as second defensive midfielder. She is considered a good player, but the supporters were surprised to see her in the National Team, and she is there for three cups! Her passing and defensive abilities are very good. She is also very funny and her team mates usually like her.
Rating: B - Team Relationship: A - Morale: A - Form: B

17-NINA Razet (Team: Cafundó do Juta)
Height: 170cm - Weight: 66kg - Age: 22 years old
Talented, wise and arrogant. This is Nina Razet, the best youngster of Cafundéu's Female Football League's last season. Good with the both legs, she is extremely intelligent, cold and with good passing and dribbling abilities. A cerebral player who wants to be a starter in the team.
Rating: B - Team Relationship: C - Morale: A - Form: A

Neutral Midfielders:

8-ALICE Alvarenga Moura (Team: Clube Imperial)
Height: 170cm - Weight: 60kg - Age: 25 years old
A very intelligent player, who continues being one of the best midfielder of Cafundéu, she still will continue being a key player for the team, as she is passing by a good moment in her life and career.
Rating: A - Team Relationship: B - Morale: A - Form: A

23-MILENE Maria Aparecida (Team: Dínamo Lux)
Height: 167cm - Weight: 62kg - Age: 18 years old
Was called after good performances in the league, and is the youngest player ever to play in the NT. But he isn't a superstar, and will only be a backup option in case of injury. He is a very good dribbler and finisher, but has a poor physical strength.
Rating: C - Team Relationship: B - Morale: B - Form: B

Attacking Midfielders:

10-FERNANDA Xavier GARCIA (Team: Clube Imperial)
Height: 171cm - Weight: 65kg - Age: 26 years old
Still the best player of the team, her form is surprising, being very good since WWC 6. She seems satisfied with her life and ready to dribble her opponents again.
Rating: A - Team Relationship: A - Morale: A - Form: A

15-Denise SOUTO MAIOR (Team: Dínamo Lux)
Height: 178cm - Weight: 72kg - Age: 27 years old
Souto Maior left Clube Imperial's squad and changed teams twice since then. A very strange person, is a good player, who surprises everyone with her shots and passes.
Rating: B - Team Relationship: B - Morale: B - Form: A

18- Marcela Paes de Merengue "MARCELINHA" (Team: Universidade Católica)
Height: 181cm - Weight: 72kg - Age: 20 years old
Another surprise in the National Team, Marcelinha is still a student. But her skills with the ball, mainly her ball control and excellent crosses, made her an excellent option for the team, and she can even play some games in the team.
Rating: C - Team Relationship: B - Morale: B - Form: B

Attackers:

7-LUÍSA Neves Matoso (Team: Clube Imperial)
Height: 175cm - Weight: 58kg - Age: 24 years old
When Maria Lúcia was ready to take the place of third attacker, Luísa appeared in Clube Imperial's starting team and showed all her ability, with many goals and assists. She looks like a complete striker and can play even as a midfielder, but still has a lot to learn, as she lack ability in certain areas. But everyone thinks that she is the future of the National Team.
Rating: A - Team Relationship: A - Morale: B - Form: A

9-ANA LAURA Lopes Veller (Team: Clube Imperial)
Height: 174cm - Weight: 58kg - Age: 28 years old
The goal-maker continues to score lots of goals. She also started to talk more with the press and became a symbol of the team. Scored many goals in her NT career.
Rating: A - Team Relationship: B - Morale: B - Form: A

11-ANA BEATRIZ Caprossi Grande (Team: Universidade Católica)
Height: 171cm - Weight: 68kg - Age: 24 years old
Ana Paula, one of the main strikers of Cafundéu, retired after the death of her husband. Ana Beatriz, who plays in a minor team of the country, has the same style of the former NT attacker, and many people think that she has the same ability too. So, she went to the National Team.
Rating: B - Team Relationship: B - Morale: B - Form: B

19-NATHÁLIA Salgado Kiss (Team: SC Lasft)
Height: 160cm - Weight: 52kg - Age: 20 years old
One Natália left. Now a Nathália will come. A young player(like many others that played their first games in the NT with Mário), she is talented, and has some good future, but still needs to improve. She is smart and can make many fast players, but sometimes she misses too many goals.
Rating: B - Team Relationship: A - Morale: C - Form: A


Staff:

Coach: MÁRIO Melkezedec SILVEIRA
Height: 202cm - Weight: 100kg - Age: 60 years old
One of the most experienced coachs of the whole country, his objective is to make the best campaign of Cafundéu's Women National Team history. He is very good and can do that. He likes to work with younger players and with obedients players, as he is a competent tactician. He likes to talk with the press too.
Rating: A - Team Relationship: C - Morale: A - Confidence: A

Assistant Coach: BARÃO (Former Central United coach)
Height: 187cm - Weight: 92kg - Age: 62 years old
Has a lot of experience training young players and wants to help Franciele. He can improve the morale of the players very easy, as he is extremely fun. But when the players are playing, he wants them giving all their efforts, and shouts a lot from the bench. When the referee makes a mistake, he becomes very nervous and scares lots of referees.
Rating: B - Team Relationship: A - Morale: A - Confidence: B

Spy and Physical Trainer: XAVIER Jordão Jacarezinho (Former SC Lasft)
Height: 202cm - Weight: 101kg - Age: 38 years old
Former physical trainer of SC Lasft, "The black monster", as he is called by his friends and by the press, is very good in helping the players to get in shape. He is very friendly and is friend of all the players and the directors. He is very intelligent too and can help the coach with many other things. His family didn't want to see him travelling to another country, but he wanted to take this opportunity.
Rating: B - Team Relationship: A - Morale: C - Confidence: B

Entertainer: SERGINHO MALLANDRO (Former TV Gazeta)
Height: 175cm - Weight: 88kg - Date of Birth: ???(above 40 years old)
The players and the staff need to be relaxed to play all the games. So, Serginho Mallandro's job is to make jokes, play games and help to make everybody happy. Sometimes he can be a bit annoying with his phrases like "Glu-glu", or "Bilu-bilu tetéia" and other ones, and even the directors don't like him very much, but he will stay with the NT.
Rating: A - Team Relationship: E - Morale: A - Confidence: E

Doctor: Dra. CECÍLIA KALAMARES (Former Juta Hospital)
Height: 172cm - Weight: 68kg - Age: 51 years old
One of the most famous doctors in Cafundéu, Cecília is well paid and got this well deserved position. Is ready to take care of any injured player or member of the staff(many times Serginho Mallandro when someone gets irritated with him). She has some assistants that can help her too, including the masseur Tonho Dozorno.
Rating: B - Team Relationship: B - Morale: B - Confidence: A

(Obs: Ratings and the other stats were only made to compare the stats of the players between my team)

The formation: Mário has 2 options of formations:

-The first one is to use a 3-5-2 putting three defenders and using the right and left backs as midfielders. It's a more offensive strategy. Style of +2 (USED IN THE GAMES)

--------------------Caroline--------------------
-------Morena------Sabrininha---------Sarah-----
--Vanessa-----------Letícia------------Luana----
---------Fernanda Garcia-------Alice------------
-----------Ana Laura-----------Luísa------------

The kits(Home and Away):
Home: golden shirt with golden shorts
Away: black shirt with details in gold and black shorts
Third: white shirt and grey shorts

LANDAU INSTITUTE'S LUCKY WOMEN

23 lucky women won the right to leave the Institute for some time to play football. They are the same players of the last WWC. Here they are:

Goalkeepers:

1- Tamires ZVEITEL: Zveitel is a good goalkeeper, tall and strong. Her stress level is low, the stress make her shout sometimes without reason, but she is well controlled. The Institute's doctors think that she is one of the most talented players of the teams.
Age: 26 years old
Years in the Institute: 12

13- Berenice Frios SOFT: Soft is shorter than Zveitel, but has the same ability. Her problem is serious, one of the worst in the team. She thinks that every clown wants to kill her, and avoids them. Her control is more difficult.
Age: 34 years old
Years in the Institute: 32

23- Francisca IGELEN: Igelen isn't a good goalkeeper, but she was chosen because she can control herself without use of medicines. The stress made her obsessed with grass, so she only sleeps on grass.
Age: 22 years old
Years in the Institute: 11

Wing-Backs:

2- Antonieta YEYTS: Yeyts is obsessed with cleaning. She becomes very angry with everybody who complains about it, she wants to clean everything. She likes to use the right side of the field, and can run very fast.
Age: 32 years old
Years in the Institute: 6

3- Raquel POLSTER-HEICH: Raquel has a serious problem. She hates food, and doesn't want to eat or drink anything. Because of that the doctors have to make her sleep to give some nutrients by a probe. She doesn't remember how the life is outside the Institute. Likes the left wing.
Age: 25 years old
Years in the Institute: 25

20- Leandra AMARO: Amaro doesn't have a serious problem. She only fears the loneliness, and wants somebody near her everytime. But she is a gentle person. Can play in both sides of the field.
Age: 34 years old
Years in the Institute: 19

21- Maria Eduarda CLUDENT: Cludent has double personality. The strange thing is that both of them play football well, although one plays in the right side and another in the left side. Both personalities are very similar, but one can't stand the other.
Age: 22 years old
Years in the Institute: 10

Centre-Backs:

4- Jurema EVERENKE: Everenke became so nervous because of the stress that, without her medicines, she starts to fight with everybody who touches her. She is trying to control it, but she doesn't seem to improve.
Age: 29 years old
Years in the Institute: 16

5- Carlota TERCART: Tercart has amnesia. This happened because of the intense work that she was doing. An interesting fact is that if she do somehting now, she will forget it seven days later, no matter what it was. This is very difficult to control, since she can forget important things, but the medicines can make she remember some selected things, like play football.
Age: 31 years old
Years in the Institute: 17

12- Priscila LAFERRO: Laferro is kleptomaniac. The medicines don't make much effect. Inside the Institute it wasn't a serious problem, but now in ECIAM it can give problems to her, so the doctors will be looking what she'll make.
Age: 22 years old
Years in the Institute: 6

14- Ivana NOVAES: Novaes is paranoic. After discussing with her last boyfriend, he started to go after her until she entered in the Institute. After that, she thinks that her boyfriend is in every place that she goes, and the doctors need to control her.
Age: 27 years old
Years in the Institute: 8

Defensive Midfielders:

6- Cíntia FONDERSON: Fonderson has a very strange mood. She can't show her feelings and becomes angry or happy with no reasons. She likes to play football and when she's playing the mood changes stop, without the need of medicines. Because of that she can be one of the most important players of the team.
Age: 25 years old
Years in the Institute: 18

8- Aline GHABAD: Ghabad sees things that doesn't exist. They are different things, sometimes are aliens, then ghosts. If she doesn't take her medicines, she can be distracted during the game by her visions. Luckily she know that they aren't real, but can't take her eyes out of them, looking at them with interest.
Age: 35 years old
Years in the Institute: 26

16- Carla HISSENFELDER: Hissenfelder is too anxious and hiperactive. Everytime she is doing something, maybe two or three things at the same time. In the field she is very fast and even when she isn't with the ball she is still running.
Age: 23 years old
Years in the Institute: 9

22- Valéria KOHLMEIR: Kohlmeir fears all insects, mainly spiders and ants. When she sees an insect, she stay quiet and scared, and doesn't move when she is still seeing it. She only returns to move when the insect leaves.
Age: 32 years old
Years in the Institute: 20

Offensive Midfielders:

7- Rafaela MAULNUS: Is completely sane, without any stress. Because of that doesn't need to control herself and doesn't need to take any medicines. She is also an excellent player, very good in set pieces, dribbling and finishing. She is the captain of the team and is very disciplined.
Age: 27 years old
Years in the Institute: since birth

11- Rachel SERRANO: It's the daughter of Gwen Serrano, who was also good in football. But like her mother, Serrano is antisocial and doesn't talk to anybody that she doesn't know. With her team mates and with the doctors she speaks, but very little. She has a very good relationship with the coach, who is trying to help her.
Age: 31 years old
Years in the Institute: since birth

15- Keyla ESTIFF: Estiff doesn't believe in nothing. If you tell her something, she won't believe, even if you prove. With her medicines, she can accept some things, like "your team is the white one" and "you need to shoot in that goal", but only if the doctors say it.
Age: 25 years old
Years in the Institute: 13

18- Nathália SAN JERLO: San Jerlo loves fire. After causing fires in more than 5 buildings, she went to the institute, where she sometimes causes a fire too. With the medicines she stops to want to put fire on something, but she continues to appreciate the fire and things burning. Outside the Institute she could be arrested, as she killed many people in her fires.
Age: 30 years old
Years in the Institute: 19

Attackers:

9- Silvana DE VRUM: De Vrum worships Landau. Yes, she thinks that the director of the Institute is a god and that the Institute is his temple. Everytime she prays for him and considers herself his highest nun. She creates rituals to increase the power of her "god". Landau seems to like that, and because of that De Vrum doesn't take any medicine.
Age: 28 years old
Years in the Institute: 26

10- Sabrina QUASTER: Quaster is beautiful, and because of that she thinks that her body is the most important thing of the entire world. She is extremely cautious, using lots of protections to play football and doesn't want to get hurt.
Age: 22 years old
Years in the Institute: 8

17- Stephany CATARY: Catary believes that she is a robot. She obey all the doctor's commands and her answers to certain questions seem all the same. When she walks, she makes a strange noise, and before the start of the game, she says something like "starting football mode".
Age: 36 years old
Years in the Institute: 17

19- Catarina BARCELLOS: Barcellos has depression. She needs the help of the doctors and some medicines. But she likes to play football and is starting to have a better relationship with her team mates. The doctors think that in 2 years she will recover.
Age: 26 years old
Years in the Institute: 8

COACH: Doctor Ivana Sanidad: Sanidad is a psychiatrist who helps most of these girls inside the Landau Institute. She has Landau's confidence and will control the players to play football.
Age: 55 years old

Landau also sent many other doctors to help the team, working as physical trainer, spy, doctor and other jobs.

The Formation: 4-5-1 Style of -1:

--------------------Zveitel--------------------
--Yeyts-----Everenke----Tercart---PolsterHeich-
-----Fonderson-----Hissenfelder-----Ghabad-----
----------Maulnus----------Serrano-------------
-------------------De Vrum---------------------

The Lady Oxen, return the complete team for the first time ever, bu tiwth a new head coach. New Head Coach Gretchen Bucci, who will also play, will keep the 3-2-2-3 formation, with two sweepers. They will as usual play in a +3.


Starters in Blue,


GoalKeepers
June Breon, 24 yrs. old
Kelli Reio, 21 yrs. old
Darcy Tucker, 22 yrs. old


Defenders
Lenore Snowball 27 yrs. old
Amie Burr 26 yrs. old
Chelsea Daley, 33 yrs. old
Amiee Heisel, 21 yrs old
Stephanie Greye, 22 yrs old.

Sweepers
Tabatha Philippi 28 yrs. old
Lorrie Daley, 33 yrs. old
Marcie Pariseau, 26 yrs. old
Paula Smthye, 23 yrs. old

Midfielders

Rene Rena, 30 yrs. old
Sierra Lopes, 30 yrs. old
Lilia Greeson 25 yrs.old
Annabelle Lorenzana 26 yrs old

Forwards
Gretchen Bucci, 34 yrs. old
I'hin H'wu, 29 yrs. old
O'thi H'wu, 30 yrs. Old
Sofia Yochum 28 yrs. old
Kathrine Facer 27 yrs. old


(ooc: NsWiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Women%27s_World_Cup_11)

Choose my scorers: Yes
Cards: Yes to both
Injuries: Yes only if a minor one
GodMode: Only if funny or weather-related.

2-5-3 formation
Don't matter the cards
Minor injuries only
Scores is your choice

Starters:

G Tina McCarthy

D Cara Woods
D Autumn Zablin
D Danielle Alexander

F Samantha Lewis
F Kelly Anderson
F Veronica Myers
F Candice Straley
F Erica Clark

S Allison Williams
S Lauren Peterson

Might as well make this a +3

The Defending 3rd place team is back and ready to take the next step...

Here's the team: a +3 style, in a 4-2-4 formation.

(note for Sativaville all #'s from 1-11 are retired.
STARTERS:

GK #19 Terri Mathe, age 23
Def. #20-Blossom Galdames, Age 24
Sweeper #21-Cherry Henig, Age 27
Sweeper #22-Aurora Duso, Age 24
Def. #18- Breanne Carloni, Age 23
Mid. #17- Dana Mathe, Age 23
Mid. #16- Becki Kiggins, Age 26
Forw. #12- Vicki Mathe, Age 24
Strik. #15- Rina Childress-Turner, Age 24 (yes the coach's Daughter)
Mid-Forw. #14- Lasonya Decena, Age 27
Forw. #13- Kim Mathe, age 26

Subs (all subs use Numbers 30-39)
GK- Danyelle Siwiec, age 24
Def- Cheree Hanigan, Age 25
Def- Carola Carrino, Age 23
Def/Mid- Hang Rubeck, Age 26
Mid- Jaye Hollenbaugh, Age 28
Mid- Annamaria Vinup, Age 23
Forw- Danelle Lehtinen , Age 23
Forw- Yulanda Hutchkiss, Age 25
Forw- Shirl Mandino, Age 26
And for the 3rd time our formation:


T. Mathe
Galdames Henig Duso Carloni
D. Mathe Kiggins
Decena
V. Mathe Childress-Turner K.Mathe

After the last Cup, a dissapointing one, the Original Ermines have all since retred, and about time they were in the mid-to late 40's. So here comes Ermines 2.0, the next generation. (and will also have full names)

Here's the roster:
The Ermines will play a 3-4-3 with a +2.


#1- Earnestine Cutright (GK)
#2- Annabelle Boulter (DEF)
#3- Allie Finkel (DEF)
#4- Avis Squillace (DEF)
#5- Nita Mukai (Sweep)
#6- Sofia Doescher (MID)
#7- Mallory Herbig (MID)
#8- Karina Edlin (MID)
#9- Pearlie Brickhouse (FOR)
#10- Salo (Striker)
#11-Karina Jepsen (FOR)


#21- Darcy Siple
#25- Nannie Brantner
#26- Alana Sumler
#27- Earlene Drolet

Do what ever you want. No killing please and pick my scorers.

St Samuel Belles

Formation: 4-4-2
Attack: +2

Manager: Umberto De Tantina

GK: Sameena Cortini
GK: Josephine Lombardo

D: Koreena Putini
D: Maria Annavalli
D: Sara Di Osvaio
D: Louisa Bruscheva
D: Anna Maxtini
D: Mariah Della Puppella

M: Lara Di Oliva
M: Hana Bertitini
M: Maria Malcova
M: Anna-Marie Vanncinni
M: Eva Zanpalla
M: Deena Le Jova

S: Shenika Della-Aruntina
S: Daniella Fabriza
S: Mai Di Impiza
S: Maria Mancini


Choose my scorers: Y
Cards: Y
Injuries: Y
GodMode: Y

Scorination will begin most likely Monday Night/Tuesday morning (depends where you are in the world at the time...lol) .

IF (and that's a big if... lol again) the forums are acting up, and on my end they like to when ever i don't want them to, that expect them Tuesday morning/evening. Good Luck to all!

http://img245.imageshack.us/img245/2831/ww11yr3.png

Edwina Bluff was proud to announce the squad that would defend Wentland’s World Cup crown at the new kit launch - together with gold sash signifying defending championship status.

1 Kirsten Cassidy, 23, goalie, Oldhill Academy
2 Rachel Horne, 31, right-back/centre-half, Newchurch Angels
3 Becca Newman, 21, left-back/centre-half, Atworth
4 Anna Kumble, 34, midfield, Oldfield Borough
5 Sammie Grady, 25, centre-half, Oldhill Academy
6 Becky Stephens, 24, midfield, Petterham
7 Gwennie Saunders, 26, midfield, Petterham
8 Stacey Cadman, 30, midfield, Warpstone
9 Thalia Pellegrini, 30, centre-forward, Newchurch Angels
10 Kaz Flack, 24, centre-forward, Esford Dynamo
11 Rosie Dougall, 23, midfield, Petterham
12 Anne Foy, 33, goalkeeper, Esford Dynamo
13 Conchita Quddus, 29, right-back, Petersfield
14 Az Jackson, 19, centre-half, Petterham
15 Annie Anderson, 19, centre-half, Warpstone
16 Imelda Davies, 26, midfield, Oldhill Academy
17 Edie Olafsson, 19, centre-forward, Northmere
18 Ellie Beavan, 30, left-back, Oxton
19 Sally Summers, 21, midfield, Northmere
20 Leigh Fraser, 23, midfield, Oldhill Academy
21 Katie Barnfield, 20, centre-forward, Oldhill Academy
22 Lisa Clark, 20, goalie, Bailey Street
99 Luisa Matsushita, 20, midfield, St Elmo’s

“So, Edwina…some changes from the last one?”

“Yes – I think KC deserves the number one shirt…Lucinda Rhodes has hung up her international shirt and I’ve drafted in Becca Newman from Atworth, she’s not the tallest but she doesn’t half pack a punch, and Annie Anderson from Warpstone…Olafsson deserves a chance…”

“No, I mean all those nuns…fancy vanishing like that…replaced with the old team?”

”Oh, er, yes. Vanishing nuns. Peculiar. Fortunately we have plenty of experience in the team as well as youth – Anna Kumble remains captain and hopes to lift the trophy again…”

“How has Anne Foy taken being demoted from first choice keeper?”

“Quite well…I think she’s bungee-jumping at the moment…but she has some coaching experience and I am hoping she will assist in that…”

“Lastly some questions were raised about the squad’s extracurricular antics…any fears?”

“None at all…they’re all sensible girls…”

<On a plane with the Jeruselem and Jeru FC team on it>

Rashina: (looks at Dazza reading something weird) What you reading there?
Dazza: A Japanese cartoon book
Rashina: Yeah? Can I have a look? I'm bored.
Dazza: Sure. (hands over a comic)

Rashina: What's the title say?
Dazza: Pinkie the football girl.
Rashina: (reading and flipping) She sure gets into a lot of trouble in this comic. Why is always getting her clothes ripped off?
Dazza: Like me?

Kate: We found while looking around a little book store. Dazza liked it.
Rashina: Well, it beats reading coaching manuals.
Player 2: Hey coach, what's that?
Rashina: A dirty comic.

Player 2: Why is it in Japanese?
Rashina: Don't know, but it's not mine.

<Later>

Rashina: Thanks Dazza.
Dazza: Like it?
Rashina: I don't know but it seems recent, inspired by someone. Very strange.
Sister Haven: I can read Japanese, let me try. (looks through comic)

Dazza: Well?
Sister Haven: The writers said it was inspired by some female football player called Dazzi in some funny nation called Jerusalem
Dazza: Sounds like me
Rashina: You're everywhere Dazza.

Kate: Dazza the anime girl, well, she is perfect for one. Small, short and acts like a bimbo and likes nudity. Perfect.
Rashina: Well, back to coaching manuals (sighs)
Player 2: Can I read it?
Dazza: Sure, just don't go tearing pages.

<Later>

Kate: That comic is doing the rounds around here. Looks like everyone wants to read it.
Dazza: Just call me Pinkie the Football girl!
Kate: You look like an anime character too.

Rp Cutoff and MD 1 Scores:


GROUP A:

Qazox 3- Quakmybush 1
Sativaville 3- Green wombat 2

GROUP B:
Wentland 5- LancasterCounty 0
Corneliu 3- Formal Dances 1


GROUP C:
No Matches Played

Standings will be up after tommorrow's games.

(ooc: NsWiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index...s_World_Cup_11)

<Dazza is lying in bubble bath in her hotel room reading about programming a Playstation 10, her phone rings>

Dazza: Hello, Dazzas Dallas the Village Bike here.
Rashina: Hi aunty, it's Rashina.
Dazza: How are you going, Jeru FC all ready to kick ass?
Rashina: I'm not sure about that bit, but the team is ready. I'm just stressed ... very stressed.

Dazza: Hey, relax. You can only teach your team so much. Anyway, Jeru FC aren't expected to make the next round but we are. So the pressure is on us and not your team.
Rashina: But you're the assistant coach now, you don't do a lot.
Dazza: True true, but I still get in trouble if we mess this up. So, are the army girls ready to destroy the enemy?
Rashina: I don't about destroying any defense but they look ready for a fight anyway.

Dazza: You ring Mum today?
Rashina: Yes, she gave some good advice about being a good coach. I am lucky I have people to talk to about this job. It's so stressful having to get all these people organised, and then I have to deal with army bureaucracy! They take so long to get anything done.
Dazza: Hey, you're just worried. No need to get all worked up about the game.
Rashina: I don't want look like an idiot when coaching this team.

Dazza: No one expects Jeru FC win anything, so you're not going to look stupid.
Rashina: I want the national coaching job when you retire, so I can't afford to mess this chance up.
Dazza: It's all a learning experience, we all make mistakes.
Rashina: Oh yes, I can't tomorrow ...

Dazza: Why is that? Pregnant?
Rashina: It's not that, I've got a broken foot. Stupid goalkeeper broke it for me during training.
Dazza: Not happy then?
Rashina: No, I like limping around ... not. Looks like I won't be playing at all now.

Dazza: Now you can be a coach and concentrate on coaching rather than playing.
Rashina: Well, but I want to play. I don't trust our defense to hold out anyone. They go to sleep too often.
Dazza: You must trust your players now, no choice.
Rashina: I have to learn I guess. Hey, how's the new daughter?

Dazza: Noisy! but that's my husband's and my daughters problem for now. Dad and his wife are also helping out while Mum is at play. Where's your kids? (giggles)
Rashina: Not yet, army life and kids don't mix. Got enough idiots in the army controlling my life.
Dazza: It's bad having kids later, you're less fertile.
Rashina: Good point.

Dazza: Dress up as me, and you'll have kids with Rocky in no time!
Rashina: Figures, he still likes you.
Dazza: You worried about that?
Rashina: Not really, better someone you know that someone you don't.

Dazza: Anyway, sleep well tonight! I hope the Jeru FC team will do well.
Rashina: Good luck with your team too. I need to get some sleep, a big day tomorrow!
Dazza: Well good night! I have work out how to turn off parental control on my PS10 ...

Lake Porter Sun
Finally....the WWC has come to... Qazox.
(ooc: just imagine The Rock saying that line and it's 1000x funnier, I swear.)


In front of a sell-out crowd of 65,000 at Fromburg Field, the Lady Oxen began the quest to become only the 2nd host to hoist the trophy, and show the world that they can put on quite a party. Despite also hosting aWorld Baseball Classic game, the Fromburg faithful packed the stadium to the rafters in support of the Lady Oxen, and to also see the defending champions, Wentlad, even though I think about 15,000 or so left after the Qazox match.

As for the match itself vs. Quakmybush, a simple 3-1 win. Not much action in the first half, but the home side got it going in the 53rd minute when I'hin H'wu took a nice lob from Player/Coach Gretchen Bucci right past the Quak keeper to send the crowd into pandemonium. I'hin H'wu scored again just about 6 minutes later and the with a 2-0 lead, Bucci took herself out and subbed in Sofia Yochum. Yochum didn't see much playing time in McPsychoville, but responded to her play today with her first goal in the 75th that basically ended it. Quakmybush managed to sneak one past June Breon in the 83rd, but it was too little too late for the visitors.

Up next is Green wombat at Toro Rojo Stadium in Las Vitas. That stadium is always rocking. Another sellout crowd will watch the home side win 3-0.

Goal Summary:
I'hin H'wu (1,2)- 53', 59'
Sofia Yochum (1)- 75'

Kim Mathe's journal

4/15/1921-
After an uneventful trip to Qazox, we found out the draw and the schedule. Stuck with both Qazox and Green Wombat, we figured, what the fuck? The hosts and another team from our region of the world? Not to mention decent teams in Estresse Intenso and Quakmybush. I think that Qazox rigged the draw to get rid of us for knocking them out in McPsychoville.

But no matter. After arriving in Lorax City, which has shitty shopping for a city this large, we started preparing for Green wombat and their new squad. All the old bats from that last 4 or 5 cups finally retired or died and they had to get new players. Good, they won't be up to the pressure and we should win.

4/16/1921-

They may be inxperienced, but gawddamn those Ermines play tough. We managed to steal a win, thanks to the referee, who might i add was kinda cute. She called for a handball in the 87th and of course I knocked it right past the Ermines' keep, whatever her name is and we won 3-2. Rina managed to find the back of the net twice early on, but that Salo (why does she have only one name, maybe she's from Cafundeu??) managed to keep pace until my penalty. So a decent start here with a win over a good team.

Our next match is with Estresse Intenso, and those girls are tough, might have to use Mace on them, they play so dirty. And now off to Saxervilla, a nice place, they got that strip club on the docks, might have to go there with coach, but since she's married, she probably won't go.

"This is a disaster. "

Edwina Bluff surveyed her coughing and sneezing squad. Only the Northmere players, Becca Newman, Katie Barnfield and the Petterham midfield seemed immune.

"How can you ALL have got flu?"

"I don't know boss," remarked Rose Dougall with a secret smirk on her face. "Maybe they got caught in the rain or something. "

"Shut up, you polkadotted *achoo* princess," remarked Imelda Davies. "Some of us were supporting our boys, not doing gigs at the Shepherd's Bush Empire. "

"That's not till tomorrow," retorted Becki Stephens. "Besides which, you didn't ALL have to go to that game. And Becca's still OK. "

"Only cos she ran to the *cough* back," observed Annie Anderson.

"I can't help it, it is all new to me..."

"Well, whatever it is, we need to do something. Becca at the back, Katie up front...the midfield's OK...KC in goal, Edie up front too. We'll have to muddle through with Rach, Az and Sammie at the back...good luck..."

By half-time it was five-nil as Wentland ran themselves into the ground. A brace apiece for Barnfield and Olafsson and a Dougall free-kick gave some breathing space.

Which was needed. By the end Wentland were down to nine, as three substitutes came on and even then there were still two collapsing. With the game won Bluff took no risks.

Hot pultices for all, thought Bluff. Fortunate it was an unranked team to start.

GREEN WOMABT JOURNAL

Unlike the national team, who has that insipid Torat covering them, the Women's team, WHO HAVE ACTUALLY MADE THE KNOCKOUT STAGES, will have me, Julie Radcliffe, covering them, someone who actually knows where all the teams are and who they are.

As for the first match in our eastern neighbors, they stuck the team in Lorax City, possibly the most Anti-Green wombat city in Qazox. And the throng of fans were not disappointed as the pot-fiends from Sativaville managed to steal a match from us 3-2.

Rina Childress-Turner, the duaghter of the lesbian coach, (never mind how a pairof lesbians can have a child), scored twice and that lead lesbian, Kim Mathe, (yes, she hasn't come out of the closet yet, but we all know she is), scored on a phantom handball called on Allie Finkel. and managed to score on the ensuing peanlty kick.

The bright spot was Salo, who scored twice. And to put the rumors to rest, SHE is not a man, she just happens to be 6' 7" tall.

Rp Cutoff and MD 2 Scores:


GROUP A:
Qazox 2- Green wombat 1
Sativaville 2- Estresse Intenso 3

GROUP B:
Cafundeu 3- Formal Dances2 0
Corneliu 1- LancasterCounty 0


GROUP C:
Jeru FC 1- St Samuel 1
Jeruselem 2- Swilatia 1

STANDINGS

GROUP A W-D-L PTS GF GA GD
Qazox 2-0-0 6 5 2 +3
E. Intenso 1-0-0 3 3 2 +1
Sativaville 1-0-1 3 5 5 --
Quakmybush 0-0-1 0 1 3 -2
Green wombat 0-0-2 0 3 5 -2


GROUP B W-D-L PTS GF GA GD
Corneliu 2-0-0 6 4 1 +3
Wentland 1-0-0 3 5 0 +5
Cafundeu 1-0-0 3 3 0 +3
F. Dances2 0-0-2 0 1 6 -5
Lanast.Coun. 0-0-2 0 0 6 -6


GROUP C W-D-L PTS GF GA GD
Jeruselem 1-0-0 3 2 1 +1
Jeru FC 0-1-0 1 1 1 --
St Samuel 0-1-0 1 1 1 --
Swilatia 0-0-1 0 1 2 -1



(ooc: NsWiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Women%27s_World_Cup_11 (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Women%27s_World_Cup_11))

<During the game against Swilatia>

Kate Bush was watching the game shouting instructions while the assistant coach Dazza Dallas was watching the Jeru FC vs St Samuel game on her phone, not paying much attention to current game. It was easier for Kate to shout as she was at taller person and easier to see.

Kate: What are you watching?
Dazza: Our sisters in the other game. Rashina's army girls that it.
Kate: Oh, how are they going?
Dazza: They are one goal down but the army girls are trying hard.

Kate: Can you stop missing Dinkie!
Dazza: What was that?
Kate: Dinkie can't shoot straight some days.
Dazza: She's alright, except when she trying to curl the ball, she has a lot of trouble with that.

Kate: You have any more of those weird knee pads you wear?
Dazza: Ask the physio Sven, he's got them in many colours. I like pink.
Kate: Thanks, I'm getting black ones.
Dazza: Take off Dinkie, and put on Sister Haven. Haven is looking really bored.

Kate: We are one goal down, we need someone to score.
Dazza: Oh yeah, army girls score!
Kate: 1 ALL then. Good good.
Dazza: Rashina should be happy now.

<Later>

Dinkie: (after running off the field and getting replaced by Sister Haven) I was doing well!
Kate: Well, sort of. Except the bit at the end ...
Dinkie: Oh yeah, that bit. I was getting closer.
Dazza: Just sit down and watch the game, you can't do much now.

Kate: Dazza just scored, err Folkstia. Great assist by Sister Haven! Where do we get these Nuns from?
Dazza: Jerusalem Catholic High school, the only place where you get footballing Nuns.
Kate: Didn't you study there?
Dazza: Yes, but I didn't make the grade as a Nun (smiles)

Kate: Dazza's on the charge again ...
Dazza: I'm here
Kate: You know who I mean
Dazza: Damn it, someone's tripped Monique over again. Not good for her knee. These army girls need to work out how to pass properly, wasted another chance to score.

Dinkie: Christie's having a shot.
Kate: And it's in. The keeper's stuck in the net, that was one great shot.
Dazza: Sorry, watching the other game. Rashina's getting frustrated at her team not being able to finish.

<Later>

Kate: Game's over, good win over Swilatia. Still we need improvement before we can this cup.
Dazza: Jeru FC got the draw. That's alright.
Kate: When we play Jeru FC, that's going to be interesting.
Dazza: Well, Rashina is the coach so she knows how we play but it's how the team executes the gameplan.

Monique: I need a bath, damn it.
Dazza: You look like the mud monster there.
Monique: Not very glamourous eh?
Dazza: Did you do feature in movie called Mudfight Monique?

Monique: Oh yes, that was a fun movie!
Kate: You're not from Wentland?
Monique: No, but I could be.

CAFUNDÉU SHOWS SKILLS IN FIRST GAME IN THE WWC

The same team as ever. Yes, most players still stay in the team, but some young blood was added to the Women National Team of Cafundéu. The players are ready to make a good campaign, but this time they want to go at least to the semifinals. The coach Mário Silveira and the attacker Ana Laura are the highest hopes of the country.

In the first game, a good victory, but only confirmed in the second half. The opponent was Formal Dances2. Their players aren't known, and probably couldn't provide a challenge to the Golden Girls of Cafundéu. The first goal came in the tenth minute of the first half, with Fernanda Garcia, who dribbled the goalkeeper and shot.

But the team became overconfident and didn't create many good plays in the remaining of the first half, trying to make beautiful plays and dribbles. In the return to the second half, Mário Silveira made two changes in the team and asked for more professionalism. So, in the sixteenth minute, Ana Laura showed it. She invaded the area and made a chip shot to score the goal.

Fifteen minutes later, Cafundéu scored the last goal of the game. Vanessa sent the ball to Luana, who exchanged passes with Luísa before invading the area. She was able to dribble and opponent and shot. The ball hit the post and entered in the goal. The game ended with the result of 3x0, and the country commemorated the good start.

Later, the midfielder Fernanda Garcia commented: "We had a good game. We only needed to stay calm and focus on our plays. We knew that we had the quality to win, and in the end it proved to be right". The coach said: "The girls had a good start, but I'm still expecting more from them. Only this way we can reach the stage that we want".

Goals:CAF: Fernanda Garcia 10' , Ana Laura 61' , Luana 76'.

Team used: Jaqueline, Vanessa, Luana, Sarah and Sabrininha (Souto Maior 45'); Letícia, Alice (Nina 45') and Fernanda Garcia; Luísa, Ana Laura and Nathália (Ana Beatriz 67').

BE CALM NEWSPAPER: IMPORTANT VICTORY FOR LANDAU INSTITUTE'S PLAYERS

In an exciting game, Landau Institute's players were able to defeat the dangerous team of Sativaville, in an incredible game with a good performance of the midfielders Maulnus and Serrano. Sativaville was hoping for a win, but the Institute girls made all the possible to get the three points, which will be important in the WWC campaign.

Estresse Intenso scored the first goal with De Vrum, in the 23rd minute of the first half. But, in the 40th and 43rd minute, Sativaville scored two goals, with Decena and Kiggins. After suffering two goals during only four minutes of the game, our team seemed to not be able to hold all the pressure made by the stoners.

But, in the second half, the team showed that can take back the advantage, and with style. In the fifteenth minute of the second half, Maulnus made a perfect pass to Serrano, who scored the goal. With nine minutes remaining for the end of the game, Serrano took a rebound after a corner kick to score the last goal of the game.

Lake Porter Sun
Finally....the WWC has come to... Qazox.
(ooc: just imagine The Rock saying that line and it's 1000x funnier, I swear.)


Toro Rojo Stadium in Las Vitas is a fun place to watch a match. With the sellout crowd of 70,000 cheering them on, the Lady Oxen defeated Green wombat 2-1. The Ermines got on board first in the 17th minute, when Salo weaved through the defense. The H'wu sisters answred back in the 33rd and 57th minute to spark the 2-1 win.

Up next for the Lady Oxen is Estresse Intenso. A win there, and Qazox will be on the the next round.

Goal Summary:
I'hin H'wu (3)- 33'
O'thi H'wu (1,)- 57'

Kim Mathe's journal

4/17/1921

Estresse Intenso is a damn good team, they actually beat us 3-2 on goals by De Vrum an ugly girl; and a pair by Serrano, who looked nice out there. (she does have a nice ass)

I think we spent too much time partying last night, but those girls were up for anything. Got a few numbers from the more curious ones, but they won't be anything but a fling.

Lasonya got a rare goal and so did Becki. With a day off tomorrow, we can party more! and Saxervilla is the French Riviera of Qazox after all...

GREEN WOMABT JOURNAL

DAMMIT 0-2 after fighting our neighbors. Seriously this has been a fix from the beginning and now the Ermines are just about eliminated!!! Salo, the amazonian striker. scored to open it up, but Those damn H'wu sisters got us back.

As for Torat.. his side lost, can't wait to see that brilliant piece of garbage.

RP Cutoff and MD 3 Scores:


GROUP A:
Qazox 2- Estresse Intenso 2
Quakmybush 1- Green wombat 1

GROUP B:
Cafundeu 3- LancasterCounty 0
Corneliu 2- Wentland 4


GROUP C:
Jeru FC 0- Swilatia 0
Jeruselem 4- St Samuel 0

STANDINGS

GROUP A W-D-L PTS GF GA GD
Qazox 2-1-0 7 7 4 +3
E. Intenso 1-1-0 4 5 4 +1
Sativaville 1-0-1 3 5 5 --
Quakmybush 0-1-1 1 2 4 -2
Green wombat 0-1-2 1 4 6 -2


GROUP B W-D-L PTS GF GA GD
Wentland 2-0-0 6 9 2 +7
Cafundeu 2-0-0 6 6 0 +6
Corneliu 2-0-1 6 6 5 +1
F. Dances2 0-0-2 0 1 6 -5
Lanast.Coun. 0-0-3 0 0 9 -9
Corneliu has clinched playoff berth due to head-to-head win over Formal Dances 2.


GROUP C W-D-L PTS GF GA GD
Jeruselem 2-0-0 4 6 1 +5
Jeru FC 0-2-0 2 1 1 --
Swilatia 0-1-1 1 1 2 -1
St Samuel 0-1-1 1 1 5 -4

Jeruselem has clinched Group title


Other Qualifing senarios:

GROUP A:
Qazox will clinch playoff berth with a Quakmybush loss or draw to Sativaville, or a Estresse Intenso Loss to Green Wombat.

Estresse Intenso will clinch playoff berth with win and a Quakmybush loss.

Sativaville will clinch playoff berth with win.

Group B:
Both Wentland and Cafundeu need either a win or draw to advance.
(ooc: NsWiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Women%27s_World_Cup_11 (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Women%27s_World_Cup_11))

<Dazza Dallas in pink and pink knee pads>

"Hi, this is the Village bike at the Women's World Cup 10 in beautiful Qazox! It's like a second home here for me here as I love this place except for the Ox themselves. AS you know Group C has Jeruselem and Jeru FC, which is ironic really. I have good news and bad news for good people at home. Firstly Jeruselem or the Angels at into the next round, my team ... actually Kate's team, beat St Samuel FOUR NIL today to secure our spot. This was an easy game compared to playing Swilatia which is an all male team, and the girls had a cruisy time. No rough play or diving into dodgy tackles like men sometimes do. The nice people from St Samuel tried but the Angels are all class! Anyone who makes the quarterfinals of this cup 9 times in a row is a team who knows female football. Rashina Dallas's team of plucky army girls took on Swilatia , and did quite well holding Swilatia to a NIL ALL draw."

"Good result for Jeru FC but really bad for Swilatia who lost to us during match day 2. Group C has Jeruselem and Jeru FC on top but the Jeru FC position is fragile. You see that Jeruselem have four points as cannot lose to top spot - but with Jeru FC on 2 points and the others on one point - all the bottom 3 can make the top 2. Next games in Group C are Jeruselem against Jeru FC, and St Samuel play Swilatia. Err, you see there's an issue here. Jeruselem should be Jeru FC and well, if anyone wins the other game - they are 2nd. If those teams draw, we have three teams on 2 points! That's where it gets messy."

"So, Jeru FC need a draw or they need to beat us. Before you all go start saying Dazza's team is going soft and allowing a draw, STOP IT. Jeruselem don't play for draws. It's up to Jeru FC, that is Rashina and her team to put up a fight. We aren't going hand them a draw, they'll have to earn it."

"I have special guest here. It's Dazza Deux. She's not in the team per se, but here for the training."

<Another Dazza appears>

Dazza: Well, nice skin! No more bare metal.
Deux: Yes, I look just like you now. I don't know if that's good or not.
Dazza: You causing chaos with my fans I see
Deux: Yes, people do ask which Dazza they are talking to now.

Dazza: So how you like Qazox?
Deux: Nice place, I heard the Ox are not friendly though.
Dazza: Do they know the difference between you and me?
Deux: Yes, looking at me - no but when I talk, they do. You sound like little schoolgirl while my voice is more mature - and you giggle all the time. I've tried to copy your voice, it's impossible.

Dazza: So what do think of our team?
Deux: A really mixed lot, everyone is so different. Everyone is a character- sinners and saints, mice and lionesses, shy people and attention whores, manly women and bimbos, nazis and clowns, party animals and social outcasts, it's one weird team. You being the real character.
Dazza: SO your role model is bit weird then?
Deux: Better than personality of a piece of cardboard. I wish I was as smart as you. You look dumb but I realise you have to be smart to become a real Dazza.

Dazza: OK, would you play for Jeru FC? If needed?
Deux: Yes, but I can't. My contract says I cannot work for any military organisation and Jeru FC is an army team.
Dazza: Pity, but as they say RULES IS RULES
Deux: I can play for Jeruselem though.

Dazza: That's it from Dazza and well Dazza!
Deux: ON YA BIKE
Dazza: Make that two bikes (giggles)
Deux: That's one lucky guy ...

SECOND 3X0 IN TWO GAMES

In the second game in the WWC 11, Cafundéu won the game, once again by the result of 3x0. This time, the opponent was the team of LancasterCounty. The strategy used in the game was the same from the first game, and the girls were able to dominate the game, with good passes and good finishing power.

The first two goals happened in the first minutes of the game. Luísa received the ball from Alice in the midfield and shot from outside the area to score the first one. After that, Ana Laura took a penalty kick to score the second. The last goal of the game was scored in the second half, with Sarah, who headed the ball to the goal after a corner kick.

After the game, the coach commented about the victory: "We're in good form. The players are happy and we all have a good relationship. With this, we can make a good campaign." The midfielder Alice said: "Two three against zero victories? It's one of our best campaigns until now. We must continue with this good form."

Goals:CAF: Luísa 4' , Ana Laura 12' , Sarah 73'.

Team used: Jaqueline, Vanessa, Luana, Sarah and Morena; Letícia (Marcelinha 45'), Alice and Fernanda Garcia; Luísa (Ana Beatriz 60'), Ana Laura and Nathália.
Coach: Mário Silveira.

CRAZY WOMEN HOLD THE HOSTS

After a good victory against Sativaville, Landau Institute's players surprised again, this time with a 2x2 draw against the hosts, Qazox. The many times champions had some difficulties to score against Estresse Intenso's team, as the defense was organized and the marking was tough. The attacks were good, and Estresse Intenso scored on counterattacks.

The first goal was scored by Qazox, with I'hin H'wu, in the fifth minute of the game. Later in the first half, Estresse Intenso scored with Maulnus, in the 28th minute of the game. The Landau Institute team scored the second half still in the first half (42nd minute), again with Maulnus, from a free kick. Qazox struggled, but scored the second goal in the 76th minute, with Sierra Lopes, who shot from outside the area.

With this very good result, Estresse Intenso continues in the second place in the group stage, with good chances to qualify, even in a difficult group. After reaching the second phase in the last cup, the country expects to see the team playing well again. Also, the doctors denied that the medicines could be improving the players' physical strength. "They're necessary", said the coach.

GREEN WOMBAT JOURNAL

a 1-1 draw with Qukmybush, leaves the Ermines with a glimmer of hope as they prepare for thier final mtach against Estresse Intenso. Salo scored again, proving that big girls aren't slow, but poor defense allowed the tying goal to slip past in the waning minutes.

A win over E.I is needed or else we'll slink across Qazox' west border to shame and ignomy.

Lake Porter Sun
Finally....the WWC has come to... Qazox.
(ooc: just imagine The Rock saying that line and it's 1000x funnier, I swear.)

A 2-2 draw with improving Estresse Intenso still elaves Qazox atop the group, and after tonight's matches, the team should be into the 2nd round if either EI or Quak lose. A day off tonight and a re-match with Sativaville tommorrow should sttle the top of the group standings.

As for today's match, The Lady Oxen got off to a good start as I'hin H'wu, scored int he 5th, giving her 4 goals so far, but EI's Maulnus scored in the 28th and 42nd, silencing the crowd at Ganja Vodka Stadium. But a surprising goal from Sierra Lopes in the 76th evened the match up and that's how it ended.

Qazox Scoring:
I'Hin H'wu (4) 5'
Sierra Lopes (1) 76'

Rashina Dallas was not happy with her team Jeru FC

"What's wrong with you? People give you chance to score and guess what happens, you don't use it. I know it wasn't easy playing Swilatia, but I've played them in the Jeruselem and they can beaten. OK, we defended well but what about trying to score just one goal? One goal girls, yes one goal. My old team scored four against St Samuel today, yes FOUR. They weren't even trying too hard! You know who we play next - Jeruselem. It's bad luck we are the same group but girls, please do something. We need a draw or win. If we lose, we'll find St Samuel or Swilatia ahead of us. No more chances, we play the real team - the team where my relatives are playing. OK, I want to WIN. We must WIN, not just hope the other teams draw. If you watched Dazza's TV spot, it's a good thing her clone is not playing."

"Right, scoring! 1 goal in two games. NOT GOOD ENOUGH. You watch Jeruselem? They don't make the semis by scoring a goal here or there, they attack. Look, if you find a chance to attack - keep the ball in their half and find weakness. Now, this game against Jeruselem - the ENTIRE nation will be watching. Yes, all your army friends, the army, the armed forces and everyone else. It's going to be HUGE. Go out there and play well. Half the national team is playing us, yes half the world cup team with World Cup coaches Dazza Dallas and Kate Bush. If we do well, we'll look good. If they smack us around, I'll look stupid. It's real simple, do the best and don't give up."

<Later after Rashina Dallas and Player 6, the current captain watched the Jeruselem vs St Samuel game replay>

Player 6: That's who we are playing? Oh dear.
Rashina: Look, we can win, but you must not make stupid mistakes. Look what happens if you do.
Player 6: So, how to we shut down Dinkie?
Rashina: I'm not worried about Dinkie, it's that Nun - err Sister Haven.

Player 6: What about the Jeruselem captain? Moany?
Rashina: She's not much of scorer, but a provider. She's not the Dazza type to run amok so we can put in good formations against her, but then we have that crazy Nun who will test us. And no tripping that Christie girl, she milks penalties very well like Dazza does.
Player 6: The defense looks mean, they are aggressive.
Rashina: I was one of them, the Jeruselem defense. It can be beaten but you must be fast. You girls waste too much time before attacking.

Player 6: Oh, I found this.
Rashina: Cybernetic Future? Interesting. Look there's Dazza Deux on the cover.
Player 6: Best looking cyborg in Jeruselem, she's an amazing girl.
Rashina: Yes, I played with her in the World Cup team. She's good, and with Dazza coaching her it's good she's not actually playing us - I hope.

Player 6: I have trouble telling them apart.
Rashina: It's easy, the real Dazza wobbles around everywhere - compared to Deux as she's very mechanical when she moves. Dazza goes really fast or doesn't move a lot due to her knees I guess, but the cyborg goes all day.
Player 6: I'm glad both aren't playing.
Rashina: Unless Dazza is going be real sneaky with team selection ...

RP Cutoff and MD 4 Scores:


GROUP A:
Green wombat 2- Estresse Intenso 2
Quakmybush 0- Sativaville 2

GROUP B:
Wentland 3- Formal Dances 0
Corneliu 1- Cafundeu 1



STANDINGS

GROUP A W-D-L PTS GF GA GD
Qazox 2-1-0 7 7 4 +3
Sativaville 2-0-1 6 7 5 +2
E. Intenso 1-2-0 5 6 5 +1
Green wombat 0-2-2 2 6 8 -2
Quakmybush 0-1-1 1 2 6 -4


GROUP B W-D-L PTS GF GA GD
Wentland 3-0-0 6 12 2 +10
Cafundeu 2-1-0 6 7 1 +6
Corneliu 2-1-1 6 7 6 +1
F. Dances2 0-0-3 0 1 9 -8
Lanast.Coun. 0-0-3 0 0 9 -9



GROUP C W-D-L PTS GF GA GD
Jeruselem 2-0-0 4 6 1 +5
Jeru FC 0-2-0 2 1 1 --
Swilatia 0-1-1 1 1 2 -1
St Samuel 0-1-1 1 1 5 -4




Other Qualifing senarios:

GROUP A:
All spots clinched.

Qazox with a win, or draw and a Estresse Intenso loss or draw will win the group.

Sativaville with a win will win the group.

Estresse Intenso with a win by 2 or more goals, coupled with a Qazox-Sativaville draw will win the group.

Group B:
All spots clinched.

If there is a winner in the Wentland-Cafundeu match, the winner wins the group. If there is a draw, Wentland wins the group.

Corneliu can finish 2nd if Wentland beats Cafundeu by 6 or more goals.

Group C:
Jeruselem has clinched the Group.

Jeru FC needs win a vs. Jeruselem, or a draw coupled with a Swilatia-St Samuel draw, or a Loss by 1 goal and Swilatia draws with St Samuel and scores the same number of goals as or less than Jeru FC does.

Swilatia needs a win, and a Jeru FC loss or draw. Swilatia can advance with a draw and a Jeru FC Loss, provided Jeru FC scores fewer goals than Swilatia does or if Jeru FC loses by 2 or more goals.

St. Samuel needs a win and a Jeru FC Loss or Draw.

(ooc: NsWiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Women%27s_World_Cup_11 (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Women%27s_World_Cup_11))

"Did you see the boys' game the other night?"

"Yeah, what was going on with Amber's thingies? They looked all fuzzy. "

"That was the pixellation, Samuelina, you dumbass. She's getting a bit brazen. "

"Can't blame her...heads up, Barney...oh, nice goal. "

"Yeah. Do you think she's bonking any of them?"

"Probably won't have the time. How long have we got here?"

"Not that long. Maybe we can get the boys here for a game. Stop them fiddling with Amber and the pikelet anyway. "

"Yeah, and Sis. She's desperate to finish off the squad before she's 35. Dressing like a whore. "

"Yeah...don't tell Stace that...they're mates. "

"Stace is almost as bad. Did you see that belt she wore?"

"Technically it was a skirt. "

"Whatever...she's got the ball now..goal. Pfft, look at her posing for the camera. "

"Yeah...anyhoo, the boys don't need our support at the moment...top of the group...what's this thing with a goat?"

"It's not a goat, it's a donkey. Something about a cute ass. Although that could be Lisa's wiggle. "

"Yeah, she's got a chewing gum walk, bitch. Your ball...good pass. Where's Lulu? Oh, shooting. Three nil. Bloody heck, this is easy. "

"Yeah, let's go for a lie down."

NOT A GOOD RESULT FOR CAFUNDÉU

In the third game of the Women's World Cup 11, Cafundéu faced Corneliu in a game that seemed easy. Easy because Cafundéu was showing a very good football in the first two games, and that the team was motivated. But in the truth, Corneliu proved that has a strong team too, and could get a draw against the Golden Girls.

Cafundéu scored first in the 10th minute. The scorer was Fernanda Garcia, who got a rebound after Luísa's shot was blocked by the defense. Later, in the 44th minute of the game, Corneliu was able to score a goal after a fast attack using the wings, which ended with Erica Clark's shot to the goal. The second half didn't have any goals.

Mário Silveira didn't like the result, and said: "The team wasn't like I expected. They surely will have to train more and to work hard to return to the form that I want them to be." The attacker Luísa said: "It was not too bad. If we defeat Wentland, we can get the first place of the group. And I think that we can even fight for the title, why not?"

Goals:CAF: Fernanda Garcia 10'.
COR: Clark 44'.

Team used: Jaqueline, Vanessa (Milene 67'), Luana, Sarah and Morena (Nina 45'); Letícia, Alice and Fernanda Garcia; Luísa, Ana Laura and Nathália (Souto Maior 50').
Coach: Mário Silveira.

ESTRESSE INTENSO IS QUALIFIED

The Landau Institute players, after playing many Women's World Cups, reached the knockout round in the last cup. Now, the team reaches the second phase of the competition after an important draw against Green Wombat. With this result, the team can hope for the best performance in an international cup ever.

Estresse Intenso scored first with Yeyts, who got the ball in the midfield and dribbled two players before shooting. The goal was beautiful, but the goalkeeper could easily save the ball, but made a mistake. Later, still in the first half, Maulnus scored after receiving the ball inside the area and shooting to the goal. In the end of the first half, Green Wombat scored with Karina Jepsen, in a long ranged shot.

The Landau Institute team only needed the draw to advance to the next phase, so defended a lot. Unfortunately, wasn't able to hold Karina Jepsen, who once again shot from outside the area and scored a goal similar to the first one. In the last minutes of the game, Estresse Intenso suffered, but could finish the game with the draw.

RP Cutoff and MD 5 Scores:


GROUP A:
Qazox 3- Sativaville 2
Quakmybush 2- Estresse Intenso 0

GROUP B:
Wentland 0- Cafundeu 0
Foraml Dances 2 (4) - LancasterCounty 2

GROUP C:
Swilatia 1- St. Samuel 0
Jeru FC 1- Jeurselem 0

STANDINGS

GROUP A W-D-L PTS GF GA GD
Qazox 3-1-0 10 10 6 +4
Sativaville 2-0-2 6 9 8 +1
E. Intenso 1-2-1 5 6 7 -1
Quakmybush 1-1-2 4 4 6 -2
Green wombat 0-2-2 2 6 8 -2



GROUP B W-D-L PTS GF GA GD
Wentland 3-1-0 10 12 2 +10
Cafundeu 2-2-0 7 7 1 +6
Corneliu 2-1-1 6 7 6 +1
F. Dances2 1-0-3 3 5 11 -6
Lanast.Coun. 0-0-3 0 2 13 -11



GROUP C W-D-L PTS GF GA GD
Jeruselem 2-0-1 6 6 2 +4
Jeru FC 1-2-0 5 2 1 +1
Swilatia 1-1-1 4 2 2 --
St Samuel 0-1-2 1 1 6 -5


Seedings for Secondary Group Draw:

1- Wentland
2- Qazox
3- Jeruselem
4- Cafundeu
5- Sativaville
6- Jeru FC
7- Corneliu
8- Estresse Intenso

The secondary Group are then:

Group D:
Qazox
Jeruselem
Jeru FC
Corneliu

Group E:
Wentland
Cafundeu
Sativaville
Estresse Intenso

Matches are as follows:
MD 6: BYE for ALL
MD 7:
Group D @ Estadia Pika (Pika City) Capacity: 78,625.
1 vs. 3
2 vs. 4

Group E @ Henrí Savagé Stadium (New Recife) Capacity: 73,000.
1 vs. 3
2 vs. 4
MD 8:
Group D: @ Chivas Field at Hobb's Park (SaxerVilla) Capacity: 63,155.
1 vs. 2
2 vs. 3

Group E: @ Toro Rojo Stadium (Las Vitas) Capacity: 70,000.
1 vs. 2
2 vs. 3

MD 9:
Group D: @ Lorax Field (Lorax City) Capacity: 76,500.
1 vs. 4
2 vs. 3

Group E: @ SaxerDome (SaxerVilla) Capacity: 85,000.
1 vs. 4
2 vs. 3

SEMIFINALS: @ Estadio Azul Flores (Iguana de Mia) Built 1894, Capacity: 71,000.
SF1: E1 vs. D2
SF2: D1 vs. E2

FINAL @ Qazian Memorial Stadium (Qazox City) Capacity: 98,000

Winner SF1 vs. Winner SF2

THIRD PLACE MATCH: @ Fromburg Field (Fromburg) Capacity: 65,000.

Loser SF1 vs. Loser SF2

(ooc: NsWiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Women%27s_World_Cup_11)

Rashina: OH MY GOD, WE WON!
Dazza: Well, it's hard to score when put six defenders in a line in front of your goal.
Rashina: Well I was watching this funny video ...
Dazza: System Karela for complete idiots?

Rashina: How'd you know that?
Dazza: You haven't seen all my video collection.
Rashina: I'm so happy! But what's next round look like?
Dazza: We got lumped into the same group again and our Greater Prussia friends Corneliu as well Qazox.

Rashina: Crap ...
Dazza: But your and my team in the next round, the problem is Qazox.
Rashina: Yeah, it is.
Dazza: This will be very interesting.

Rashina: This will be shock on TV, Jeru FC beating the real team. Makes me look good!
Dazza: I did rest a few big players though.
Rashina: You did, err why?
Dazza: To test the kids, no point testing the kids during a quarterfinal is it?

Rashina: Oh I see.
Dazza: Can you do me a favour with Jeru FC?
Rashina: What's that?
Dazza: The language those girls use on the field. It's a bit much

Rashina: No wonder Sister Haven nearly punched out one of my players ...
Dazza: Just tone it down a little. Calling a Nun a naked open-legged cock-sucking lesbian Dazza-bonking whore-bitch is not on.
Rashina: It was aimed at Monique by the player but well, the wrong person got the message.
Dazza: As I said earlier, no more of that from those army girls. This is football not war zone.

Rashina: Yes yes, I think they got too carried away.
Dazza: Do they always to that?
Rashina: Yes
Dazza: Well, just tell them to shut up then.

Rashina: Where's Kate?
Dazza: Recovering from being hit in the head by a water bottle by one of your players.
Rashina: Apologies, they throw water bottles around but some can't throw straight.
Dazza: I noticed that. Hey, when are you going to have kids?

Rashina: Err, when I get my acted together.
Dazza: You're as old as me, sorta. Get that man into shape!
Rashina: Some people think your Rocky's wife, with all the pictures of you in the house. I get few pictures, here and there.
Dazza: Come on. You have a broken foot, and can't play for this cup. Perfect excuse for staying at home after this cup.

Rashina: But this is the army we're talking about.
Dazza: Don't leave to too late.
Rashina: It's funny I'm a similar age to you ...
Dazza: I was an accident!

CAFUNDÉU WILL PLAY AGAINST THE CRAZY REPUBLICANS

After finishing the first group stage of the competition, Cafundéu's citizens discovered that the team will face their crazy neighbours of Estresse Intenso in the second group stage. The other opponents will be the champions Wentland and the consistent team of Sativaville. The population expects to go to the semifinals, and to defeat their republican enemies.

In the last game of the first stage, nothing really interesting happened. There were few attacks and the game ended with a boring 0x0. But in the end it was a good result, which showed that the Golden Girls can battle against the strongest teams. A supporter said: "Now we only need to destroy those *%$@#&%* of Estresse Intenso and go to the semifinals! Yahoooo!"

The coach Mário Silveira: "Now we're in the second stage. I know that we'll play against a rival, but the most important thing is to proceed to the semifinals, and we'll work for this." The goalkeeper Jaqueline said: "Today's game was easy to hold, both teams didn't attack well. Cafundéu only suffered a goal, so this can be a strong point of us."

Team used: Jaqueline, Vanessa, Luana, Sarah (Rafaela 78') and Morena; Letícia, Nina (Nathália 60'), Alice (Souto Maior 45') and Fernanda Garcia; Luísa and Ana Laura.
Coach: Mário Silveira.

ESTRESSE INTENSO WILL PLAY AGAINST THE FUTILE MONARCHISTS

In the last game, Estresse Intenso only decided its final position in the group stage. Unfortunately, they couldn't continue with the good form of the first games and lost the game against Quakmybush by the result of 2x0. But, anyway, the country is qualified for the second stage, but will have a big rival to defeat.

The Landau Institute's team is in Wentland's group, which has Sativaville too, the team that Estresse Intenso defeated in the group stage. But surely the most expected game will be the one against Cafundéu. Tensions between the countries happened since E.I.'s independance years ago, and now both countries want to win this game.

But of course the most important thing is to qualify. "I don't think so", said a patient of the Landau Institute, victim of claustrophobia, "we need to defeat the monarchists before going to the semifinals. Losing to them will be horrible, and many patients will suffer with this." The president of Landau Institute wasn't found, and he probably isn't in Estresse Intenso right now.

Lake Porter Sun
Finally....the WWC has come to... Qazox.
(ooc: just imagine The Rock saying that line and it's 1000x funnier, I swear.)

A 3-2 win over Sativaville was satifying, but the draw for the 2nd round is even better. Jeruselem, Jeru FC and Corneliu? only team that should give us trouble is the Angels again, while the other two will be interesting.

I'Hin H'wu scored twice in the 1st 25 minutes and Sierra Lopes added a goal in the 39th giving the Lady Oxen a 3-0 lead, But Sativaville's Kim match managed to score twice to end it at 3-2.

Qazox Scoring:
I'Hin H'wu (5,6) 13', 25'
Sierra Lopes (2) 39'

Rp cutoff And Scores:

MD 7:
Group D @ Estadia Pika (Pika City) Capacity: 78,625.
Qazox 3- Jeru FC 1
Jeruselem 2 vs. Corneliu 1

Group E @ Henrí Savagé Stadium (New Recife) Capacity: 73,000.
Wentland 4- Sativaville 2
Cafundeu 4 - Estresse Intenso 2


Group D: W-D-L PTS GF GA GD
Qazox 1-0-0 3 3 1 +2
Jeruselem 1-0-0 3 2 1 +1
Corneliu 0-0-1 0 1 2 -1
Jeru FC 0-0-1 0 1 3 -2


Group E: W-D-L PTS GF GA GD
Wentland 1-0-0 3 4 2 +2
Cafundeu 1-0-0 3 4 2 +2
Sativaville 0-0-1 0 2 4 -2
E. Intenso 0-0-1 0 2 4 -2


NSWiki page: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Women%27s_World_Cup_11

<Dazza Dallas with a man hold small tiara>

Dazza: I'm Dazza Dallas at the Women's World Cup 11 and this guy turned up in Qazox today. I have no idea why, he's here.
Man: You'll find out soon, Dazza. Don't worry.

Dazza:
Now, we have this weird quarter final concept in the World Cup 10. Two groups of four teams - I think the top 2 of each group make the semi-finals. In Group D, we have Jeruselem, Jeru FC, our Greater Prussian friends from Corneliu and the hosts Qazox. In Group E, we have Wentland, the lady Stones from Sativaville, Estresse Intenso and Cafundeu. It's match day seven, the results from the 1st round of the quarterfinal groupy things have been completed.

<Bends down to adjust knee pads, viewers can see some tit ...>

"Where was I? Oh yes. Group D for err, Dazza! The Angels played Corneliu who have done so well in making it so far but they faced the team which have won this three times. I think the people from Corneliu played really well but the Angels who have done this and that, fought off the challenge. Once again the holy Sister Haven running around like a maniac, scored and Shama Shaya Saja Sa finished off the game with a nice strike after our opponent equalised. OK, we didn't play our best but we did enough to get through. We have to play better still, if we want to get this cup off Wentland."

"Poor old Jeru FC, they ran into Qazox and learnt about what the Oxen women can do. Qazox cruised to a THREE ONE win over our army girls. Saying that, I think one of the Jeru FC players got sent off for saying some nice things to a Qazox player which I cannot reproduce on TV. Something about sticking a funny long object up a female private part, you get what I mean. So Qazox and Jeruselem win as expected. Still, Jeru FC can make it if they knock over either Corneliu or us, and get draw somewhere."

"In Group E, the defending champs Wentland had to take on the lady Stoners who are hard to beat these days. The Blue Tits or crazy Nuns or whatever they call themselves, prevailed with a message to other teams. An easy FOUR TWO win over a hard opponent"

"Cafundeu played surprise package Estresse Intenso and had to fight to get the three points. Eventually the experienced "Cafundeu won FOUR TWO to put them and Wentland at the top of the table. So meaning the faves won in this round but we have the Jeruselem vs Qazox and "Cafundeu vs Wentland games still to play. It's not over yet as Jeru FC did beat us so we can't expect Rashina Dallas's girls to give up their chance for glory. But Jeruselem won't be nice to Jeru FC either."

"So, what's Dazza done now?"

Man: Well, the government has decided to give you royal title for your services to the nation.
Dazza: Me? Wow
Man: Even though you aren't one really, you are now Lady Dazza Dallas. Normally we'd give you a crappy little badge but you get tiara instead as you are fashion conscious. It will official when you go home.
Dazza: Lady Dazza Dallas, me a lady. (smiles)

Man: (puts tiara on Dazza's head) There you go.
Dazza: Can't get better than this! Is my husband Sir Finn Fumbles?
Man: No, he's not a Knight. No knighthood jokes please.

Dazza:
Oh well, this is Lady Dazza Dallas now doing YAP YAP. Today's topic is cervical cancer! I've mentioned this before but there's people out there who haven't given their daughters the vaccine yet. Look people, it's free to all girls and it's safe. My daughter Kate has been vaccinated. I tell you something, my Mum had this cancer. It wasn't nice and this was before we had a vaccine for it. She's alive but it cost lots of money to fix. It's a good thing me and Debbie had money to help my Mum or she'd be in coffin right now - and we'd be without her. Mothers or single parents, don't be scared. Give your daughters this vaccine. Now, some you people may say it's against your religion. I'm Catholic - well sorta, and it doesn't bother me and my local priest says there's nothing in the bible against it too. Think of your children first.

Man:
Yes, the cervical cancer vaccine is free. We encourage parents to get for their daughters.

Dazza: That's it from me in Qazox. Lady Dazza Dallas aka the Village Bike signing off. And
Man: ON YA BIKE

The team trudged off to muted applause. A goalless draw with Cafundeu was not exactly awe-inspiring, and the news from the Ken was that the Swifts had failed to score against Netherwallop and the Blue Tits were under the weather.

There was something missing. Lulu Matsushita was the one who voiced it in the dressing room in her inimitable style. "Why can't we be bloody bitches?"

"We should be back soon," commented Leigh Fraser. "We're in the last eight, so three more matches at most, then we can join them for the last few games."

"There's a problem with that, ho," remarked Ellie Beaven. "It's a group phase, so we have a few more matches to go."

"A group phase? Whose bloody stupid idea was that?"

"More games means more fans means more money...MON-EY..."

"We won't have any of that talk here," retorted Bluff. "All for one."

"Maybe we can fly out or something? Sneak off to one of their games? I think they could do with the, er, workout."

"Leave it to me," suggested Bluff. "There may be something we can do."

"Ahh...you fancy Hacker, boss!"

"Don't be stupid. I'm a happily married woman. Well, I would be if Hacker had sent me that ten inch thing instead of to the Reg. I am insatiable."

DEFEATED OUR BIGGEST RIVALS

The Golden Girls played their first game in the second phase of the Womens World Cup, and against their worst enemies: the republicans of Estresse Intenso. The local rivalry made the game more exciting, and both teams trying to win at any costs. In the end, Cafundéu used all its talent and experience to win the game and the first points in Group D.

Cafundéu started the game with an offensive strategy, and didn't take much time to score the first goals. In the eleventh minute, Ana Laura invaded the area, dribbled two opponents and scored the first goal. In the 18th, Letícia shot from outside the area and scored a beautiful goal. The third goal came with Natália, who headed after a Luísa crossing.

In the second half, Estresse Intenso scored two fast goals. One in the 21st minute with Serrano, and another in the 26th minute with Everenke. But they couldn't score again, as Cafundéu was good in the defense. In one of the last attacks of the game, Ana Laura dribbled the goalkeeper and shot to score the decisive goal.

After the game, the whole country was commemorating the result, even more than the victory of the male National Team. "They were amazing. I think that this team can have a big success", said the coach Mário Silveira. The attacker Ana Laura said: "We had the necessary inspiration today to attack and score."

Goals:CAF: Ana Laura 11'/89' , Letícia 18' , Natália 34'.
EIT: Serrano 66' , Everenke 71'.

Team used: Jaqueline, Vanessa, Sarah and Morena; Letícia (Nina 45'), Alice and Fernanda Garcia (Keyla 78'); Luísa (Tati Paçoca 60'), Ana Laura and Natália.
Coach: Mário Silveira.

UNLUCKY, ESTRESSE INTENSO LOSES TO CAFUNDÉU

A sad day for the Landau Institute. All the patients were anxious to see its Women National Team defeating the monarchists of Cafundéu by a good result, but this didn't happen. Our opponent had luck and could score goals in plays that seemed inoffensive. Estresse Intenso was better in the game, but lacked experience.

Ana Laura scored the first goal, passing by two of our defenders with luck and difficulties, and made a weak shot. Unfortunately, the wet field helped Cafundéu. Later, Letícia fouled Tercart and took the ball. She shot and scored the goal, and the referee didn't do nothing. Before the second half, Natália scored from a header.

Estresse Intenso reacted in the second half. First with Serrano, in a beautiful play. Later with Everenke, in an intelligent team work which ended with a powerful shot. But, when the Landau Institute's team seemed to score another goal, Ana Laura took the ball from our goalkeeper, dribbled her and scored the last goal of the game.

Lake Porter Sun
Finally....the WWC has come to... Qazox.

The second phase of group play has started, and Qazox pick up where they left off in the 1st part, easily beating Jeru FC 3-1, in front of 78,625 at Estadia Pika in Pika City. I'Hin H'wu continues to score at will seemingly adding another two goals, while Kathrine Facer, starting for the Player/Coach Gretchen Bucci managed to score her 1st goal this cup.

Up next is JERUSELEM, our main rivals over the years. Granted we've face Wentland more times, and have only played for the title once, but this rivalry has been the most intense of all. The two sides have great respect for each other and I expect another great match in SaxerVilla. Too bad this couldn't take place at Qazian memorial, but maybe they will in the final, if things work out down the line.

Qazox Scoring:
I'Hin H'wu (7,8)- 42', 62'
Kathrine Facer (1)- 75'

Rp cutoff And Scores:

MD 7:
Group D: @ Chivas Field at Hobb's Park (SaxerVilla) Capacity: 63,155.

Qazox 2- Jeruselem 2
Jeru FC 1- Corneliu 0

Group E @ Toro Rojo Stadium (Las Vitas) Capacity: 70,000.
Wentland 1- Cafundeu 2
Sativaville 3 - Estresse Intenso 2


Group D: W-D-L PTS GF GA GD
Qazox 1-1-0 4 5 3 +2
Jeruselem 1-1-0 4 4 3 +1
Jeru FC 1-0-1 3 2 3 -1
Corneliu 0-0-2 0 1 3 -2


Group E: W-D-L PTS GF GA GD
Cafundeu 2-0-0 6 6 3 +3
Wentland 1-0-1 3 5 4 +1
Sativaville 1-0-1 3 5 6 -1
E. Intenso 0-0-2 0 4 7 -3


Qualifing Senarios:
GROUP D:

Qazox: A win or a Jeruselem Loss or tie advances the team. A draw and a Jeruselem draw or loss will advance the team as well.
Will win the Group with a win and a Jeruselem loss or tie, or a draw and a Jeruselem draw, or a win and if Jeruselem wins by the same or fewer goals than Qazox does.

Jeruselem: A win or a Draw, or a loss and a Qazox loss by 2 more goals than what Jeruselem loses by will advance the team. A win and a Qazox loss or draw or a win and a Qazox win by 2 goals fewer than Jeruselem wins by will win the team the group.

Jeru FC: A win or a draw and a Qazox loss by 3 or more goals will advance the team. Will win the group with a win and a Qazox loss or draw.

Corneliu: Eliminated.

GROUP E:

Cafundeu: A win or draw will win the group. A win or draw, or a loss and a Wentland loss or draw will advance the team. A loss and a Wentland win by fewer goals than what Cafundeu scores will advance the team as well.

Wentland: A win and either a Cafundeu win/Sativaville loss or a Cafundeu-Sativaville draw or a loss by 1 goal and a Sativaville loss will advance the team. Will win the group with a win and a Sativaville win by the same amount of goals.

Sativaville: A win and either a Wentland loss/EI win or draw or a 1 goal loss and a 2 goal Wentland loss/EI win in which Sativaville scores more goals than Estresse Intenso will advance the team. A win by 2 or more goals, a Wentland loss/EI win or draw, and if Wentland wins by exactly 1 goal, will win the team the group.

Estresse Intenso: a win by at least two goals and a Sativaville loss by at least a goal, or a win by 2 goals and a Sativaville loss in which Sativaville fails to score will advance the team. Cannot win the Group.

NSWiki page: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Women%27s_World_Cup_11

<During the game against Qazox>

Kate Bush: We need a goal, our strikers are getting tired. Ideas?
Dazza: Yeah they are leading TWO ONE. We need the point now.
Kate Bush: Dinkie looks like she needs a bed now.
Dazza: Poor girl, she'd better go off before she collapses.

Kate Bush: Hikfie Dallas! wake up!
Hikfie: Oh, sorry. Err ... am I playing?
Dazza: You're on!
Hikfie: Oh oh ...

<Dinkie drags herself over to the Jeruselem bench to be subbed with Hikfie Dallas>

Dinkie: I feel wobbly.
Dazza: Just go to sleep.
Dinkie: OK

Kate Bush: She's weird that Hikfie.
Dazza: She's a Dallas ...
Kate Bush: Not Dazza weird
Dazza: Oh, what when?

Kate Bush: Oh, she's on or off.
Dazza: Like me!
Kate Bush: No, you're always on or off when you're asleep.
Dazza: Oh that.

Kate Bush: What's Hikfie doing?
Dazza: Trying to score from halfway across the pitch.
Kate Bush: She's can't score from there, she can't score from one foot.
Dazza: I can.

Kate Bush: You're a freak.
Dazza: Err, she scored ...
Kate: From there?
Dazza: Watch the replay!

Kate Bush: Oh my god, she did. You Dallas girls are freaks!
Dazza: Oh yeah! (dances)
Kate Bush: How did she do that.
Dinkie: It's 2 ALL? And why is Dazza jumping around like horny rabbit.

Kate Bush: Hikfie just bunted the ball from halfway into Qazox goal.
Dinkie: Hikfie? She can't kick a ball 5 feet.
Kate Bush: Oh, well that's a Dallas for you.
Dinkie: Dazza just did a handstand with no undies on

Kate Bush: That's going to be all over the TV now.
Dinkie: The Qazox players are looking a bit stunned.
Kate Bush: Good for us at least.

<Later>

Dazza: Well, it's Jeru FC next. This time ... we're going kick their ass!
Kate Bush: Either way, there's a Jeruselem team in the semi-finals. It's us or Jeru FC, Qazox should win their game.
Dazza: Oh, Rashina's team won their game ONE NIL.
Kate Bush: What if Jeru FC win this cup?

Dazza: Rashina Dallas is the next Jeruselem coach!
Kate Bush: I don't think so ...
Dazza: Why's that?
Kate Bush: She shouts too much during training. I had a visit and she was telling them what a bunch of useless idiots they are.

Dazza: And?
Kate Bush: She throws things at them when she's not happy.
Dazza: Explains why they train with helmets on
Kate Bush: And body armour

Dazza: Err, how come she's a nice person around us?
Kate Bush: It's just the army effect I guess
Dazza: It seems to work.
Kate Bush: Not my style anyway

"What happened there, girls?"

"I dunno, boss...just felt tired at the end..."

"Might have been jetlag..."

"Naah, there's been a lot of footy lately. I think we were just shagged out. "

DEFEATED THE CHAMPIONS IN THE LAST MINUTES

Cafundéu had its most important game in the Women's World Cup 11 until now: play against the champions of Wentland for the 2nd group stage. The team looked great and could play better than the feared opponents, stopping their attacks and counterattacking well. But the winning goal only came in the last minutes of the game.

Cafundéu started very well the game, and could score before the tenth minute with Ana Laura, who received the ball alone inside the area after a mistake of the defense. But in the end of the first half, Wentland scored with Flack. In the second half, Cafundéu seemed to hold the ball to take the draw, but in the last minutes it started a counterattack, which ended with Ana Laura's header, who scored the goal.

After the game, the coach Mário Silveira said: "We're having a wonderful campaign so far, and our first goal, reach the semifinals, is nearly achieved. Now, we'll secure the qualification and after that we'll try to win the title, why not?" Letícia said: "Today was a difficult day for the defenders, and their performance was decisive."

Goals:CAF: Ana Laura 8'/86'.
WEN: Flack 39'.

Team used: Jaqueline, Vanessa, Sarah and Morena; Letícia, Alice (Marcelinha 60') and Fernanda Garcia (Ana Beatriz 79'); Luísa, Ana Laura and Natália (Nina 45').
Coach: Mário Silveira.

(ooc: sorry but i didn't get out of class last night until 11pm, so i couldn't scoreinate.. they will be up tonite.. sorry again)

Lake Porter Sun
Finally....the WWC has come to... Qazox.

Dammit a Dallas does it again, this time...Hikfie?!?? Yes Hikfie Dalls managed to score from 50 yards out in the 80th minute, a truly masterful shot that fooled the entire Lady Oxen Defence and tied the match up a 2-2.


Qazox managed to score 1st as Kathrine Facer, subbing for a tired I'hin H'wu, scored in the 17th minute and again in the 52nd to give Qazox leads of 1-0 and 2-1, but Dinkie Dosha managed to tie it in the 35th.

So another classic between these two sides, leaves them still tied atop the group, but Qazox has the advantage of facing Corneliu, whil Jeruselem has to face Jeru FC. Qazox is just about in, but which JERU will go on??



Qazox Scoring:
Kathrine Facer (2,3) 17, 52'

RP cutoff And Scores:

MD 8:
gROUP D@ Lorax Field (Lorax City) Capacity: 76,500.

Qazox 3- Corneliu 0
Jeru FC 2- Jeruselem 3

Group E @ SaxerDome (SaxerVilla) Capacity: 85,000.
Cafundeu 1- Sativaville1
Wentland 2 - Estresse Intenso 2


Group D: W-D-L PTS GF GA GD
Qazox 2-1-0 7 8 3 +5
Jeruselem 2-1-0 4 7 5 +2
Jeru FC 1-0-2 3 4 6 -2
Corneliu 0-0-3 0 1 6 -5


Group E: W-D-L PTS GF GA GD
Cafundeu 2-1-0 7 7 4 +3
Wentland 1-1-1 4 7 6 +1
Sativaville 1-1-1 4 6 7 -1
E. Intenso 0-1-2 1 6 9 -3


SEMIFINALS: @ Estadio Azul Flores (Iguana de Mia) Capacity: 71,000.

QAZOX vs. WENTLAND
JERUSELEM vs. CAFUNDEU

NSWiki page: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Women%27s_World_Cup_11

<85th minute mark of the Jeruselem vs Jeru FC game with the scores locked at TWO ALL>

Kate Bush: You know, those army girls are good! But I wish they'd stop being so rough. Skillful but they really should learn to not rough people up. The referee is very forgiving today. She's letting those fouls pass by. And the language, it's awful too.
Dazza: Army girls are trained to kill you know. They've got a killer instinct even if they actually execute plays properly.

Kate Bush: Hey, what's our keeper Kissie doing rolling on the grass?
Dazza: I think someone punched her.
Kate Bush: The referee is coming over. She's sent off a Jeru FC player.
Dazza: That's digusting, punching a woman like that. In the stomach too, good thing she isn't pregnant.

Kate Bush: Damn it, they have to carry Kissie off the field. Not good.
Dazza: Hey, Smetznova you're on.
Smetznova: Oh, poor Kissie!

<Doctors carry Kissie off the field as Smetznova comes on. Rashina walks over to the Jeruselem camp>

Rashina: Err, what happened?
Dazza: Oh, one of your players just punched our keeper in the stomach.
Rashina: Bloody hell, not again. She should learn it's football not boxing match. Hope Kissie is OK.

Dazza: There's Sister Haven on the charge again!
Rashina: She's nuts! But at least she's not violent.
Kate Bush: Some of your players seem to have a few issues.
Rashina: I know

Dazza: Hey, someone just kicked Dinkie in the shins.
Rashina: And in the penalty area too. Oh, crap.
Kate Bush: Why?
Rashina: I think that's game over.

Dazza: Moany is taking the penalty. Dinkie has limping around.
Kate Bush: Your keeper should stop moving around like that, it doesn't work.
Rashina: It's her way. She likes to move around a lot.
Dazza: There you go, Moany does the job! Under the keeper. Not a chance.

Rashina: You girls win THREE TWO. We did well just to get here.
Kate Bush: Maybe you should get rid of the thugs in the team
Rashina: Have to sack myself then
Dazza: Stick to shouting, don't throw things. Going home after this?

Rashina: Yes, have to go home with my girls. Still got broken foot, that's why I'm so grumpy I guess.
Dazza: Sit around at home and make babies!
Kate Bush: Take it easy in other words
Rashina: I wish I could. The army controls my life.

<Later>

Dazza: Kissie, alright now?
Kissie: Yes, wasn't expecting to be punched during a football game!
Dazza: Just rest and get well.
Kissie: I think I'll skip dinner tonight.

<Kissie drags herself off>

Dinkie: Hi Dazza, God his leg hurts.
Dazza: Nasty tackle?
Dinkie: Tackle, more like a bad karate kick!
Dazza: You alright for the semi final?
Dinkie: Yes, I'll just bury myself in ice first.

<Kate Bush in towel appears>

Kate Bush: Got any shampoo? I think your friend Moany used it all up.
Dazza: Look in my bag.
Kate Bush: (looking through Dazza's bag) Found it. Err, this will not turn my hair red?
Dazza: Nope. All it does is attract all the males within 100 metres to you - who want to root you all day long!
Kate Bush: OK ... I'll be back.

Dazza sits down and starts sending indecent text messages back to her husband at home.

Anna Kumble had been so pleased with her preparation. It would be such a surprise for the team - they had not had one for ages - and hopefully it would get them through the last game and into the semis.

She looked proudly at the spread. Scrumptious cakes loaded with cream and jam. Large custard tarts. Bowls full of beans and peas. She carefully laid out the placenames for the team. Lulu liked her trifle so she sat there. Stacey Cadman loved chocolate so she was by the mousse. And so on.

It was when it was three am and they still had not turned up for dinner that Kumble finally gave up. She left, distraught, for bed to see a number of the team rolling in tiredly.

"Come on..this'll cheer you up!". And KUmble sat them in the hotel dining room for what she hoped would be a food fight to end all food fights.

She sat and watched. As Sammie Grady yawned and slumped forward head-first into a rice pudding.

"Dammit, Sammie...you're meant to be throwoing it, not drinking it..."

*splosh*

It's started, thought the captain and braced herself for an onslaught. But no, the team was sitting there catatonically save for Kirsten Cassidy head-first and asleep in a large bowl of mushy peas.

"Oh, bloody hell...what's up with you?"

"Sorry, Cap...we're missing the boys too much...those here do not, er, measure up. And we've been trying. "

Anna sighed as most of the team dropped off into their food. "Ah well, waste not, want not..." she sighed as she poured a jug of sour cream over her head. "I hope we're awake for tomorrow. "

SUFFICIENT RESULT FOR CAFUNDÉU, NOW IN THE SEMIFINALS

In the last game of the second phase of the Women's World Cup 11, Cafundéu just needed a draw against Sativaville to go to the semifinals of the competition. The team could get it, and more, as Estresse Intenso held Wentland, result that gave us the first place of the group, although the difficulty in the semifinals will be the same.

Sativaville scored first, in a fast attack which ended with a nice goal scored by Decena. Cafundéu tried to score during the whole first half, but missed many chances. But in the end of the half, Alice shot from outside the area and was able to score the goal. The second half was boring, and the Golden Girls just managed the result.

The team will play now against Jeruselem, a country that has a good performance in games against Cafundéu. But the coach Mário Silveira thinks that a change is possible: "We are better than in the last cups. It'll be an equal game against them, and maybe we can go to the final." Nina said: "This is already the best campaign of Cafundéu's Women National Team.

Goals:CAF: Alice 40'.
SAT: Decena 7'.

Team used: Jaqueline, Vanessa, Sabrininha and Morena; Letícia, Nina (Tati Paçoca 60'), Alice and Fernanda Garcia; Luísa (Milene 45') and Ana Laura.
Coach: Mário Silveira.

Semifinals and finals/3rd place will be posted on Friday/ Saturday.. that is all.

Lake Porter Sun
Finally....the WWC has come to... Qazox.

A 3-0 win over a underwhelming Corneliu has given Qazox the Group D title and a match-up with old foe Wentland in the semifinals. Early scoring in this match gave Qazox a 3-0 lead and they just cruised from there. I'Hin H'wu scored her 9th and 10th, making her the 3rd Qazoxian woman to score 10 gaols in a cup and Katherine Facer scored her 4th in 3 games to finish it off.

Wentland and Qazox once again in the final four? Seems like eery time we've met. Jeruselem is there also, and so is Cafundeu, who is looking to become just the 6th country to wear the crown, after Liverpool England (WWC1), Jeruselem (WWC's 2, 3 and 5), Wentland (WWC's 8 and 10), Rorysville (WWC7), and of course us (WWC's 4, 6, and 9).

One semifinal is one 3-time champs vs. the 2 time and defending champs and the other one is the other 3-time champs vs. A team that some say are due. Should be very interesting games in Estadio Azul Flores tommorrow.


Qazox Scoring:
I'Hin H'wu (9,10)- 13', 17'
Kathrine Facer (4)- 23'

Coach Kate Bush watching the team train with Assistant Coach Dazza sitting around not much.

Dazza: Noticed anything wrong?
Kate Bush: Hang on, where's your friend Moany?
Dazza: Took you a while!
Kate Bush: Wasn't she with the physio before?

Dazza: It's taking a while, I'll check out what's happening.

(Dazza wonders over to the physiotherapy room, there's two people getting too friendly in there. Lots of moaning, shouting and nudity is going on. She wanders back.)

Kate Bush: Well?
Dazza: Monique's doing a Dazza by the physio.
Kate Bush: Oh, that explains it.
Dazza: I'm sure both will be feeling a lot better after that session. So, you want me to get her here?

Kate Bush: No no, leave them to it. I'll reprimand her later.
Dazza: I thought that kinda wasn't supposed to happen, except maybe with me being the exception.
Kate Bush: She is a porn star.
Dazza: Oh well, let's get on with the other girls.

<After training>

Dazza: Who's not starting?
Kate Bush: Err, we'd better not play Kissie and Dinkie. They just weren't looking good out there. Kissie was complaining about bruised ribs from being punched and Dinkied knee is not the best.
Dazza: I assume Monique's still playing as Captain.
Kate Bush: Well, she's fit if bonking the physio is any indication.

Dazza: Right? Back four - Silly, Lara, Fix and ...
Kate Bush: Make that Angie.
Dazza: Why not Durrai?
Kate Bush: We need a more attacking team.

Dazza: Right? Now the midfield. Moany, Terry, and Chrissie?
Kate Bush: I'd rather have Moany Kelly and Terry. I like putting on Chrissie later.
Dazza: To milk penalties like I do?
Kate Bush: No one can milk them like you do.

Dazza: Strikers. No Dinkie so the nun, Miss S and Dazza.
Kate Bush: Well, that's the only combination we have.

Dazza: Smetznova instead of Kissie, use Kissie in emergencies.
Kate Bush: Sadly yes.

Dazza: Right team is settled I guess. Hey, I got a video!
Kate Bush: Of what?
Dazza: You know
Kate Bush: Oh, Monique's physiotherapy session ... no thanks. What are you going to do with it?

Dazza: I'll make special training video, that's it.
Kate Bush: This will be interesting. I hope won't be in it ...
Dazza: I'm adding me singing in the shower, and say!
Kate Bush: What it is?

Dazza: You do gym topless sometimes!
Kate Bush: Err, umm. I forgot about that.
Dazza: Don't worry, everyone will be in it in some way. When there's dirt, Dazza's got on it.

RP Cutoff and Semifinal Results:


SEMIFINALS: @ Estadio Azul Flores (Iguana de Mia) Capacity: 71,000.

QAZOX vs. WENTLAND (2-2 Wentland wins on PK 3-2)
JERUSELEM vs. CAFUNDEU (3-3 Cafundeu wins on PK 5-4)

FINAL @ Qazian Memorial Stadium (Qazox City) Capacity: 98,000
CAFUNDEU VS. WENTLAND

THIRD PLACE MATCH: @ Fromburg Field (Fromburg) Capacity: 65,000.

QAZOX VS. JERUSELEM

Thanks all this has been a good tourney I think. GL to all in the last matches.

Sometime next week the new rankings will come out.


And NSWiki is here of course:
http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Women%27s_World_Cup_11

Kate Bush: Not again ... we have our best penalty kick session and still lose!
Dazza: I tell ya, we don't have much luck with those Pee Kays
Kate Bush: Pee Kays ... oh, I know what you mean.
Dazza: At least we missed only one kick for once

Kate Bush: How did Qazox do?
Dazza: Wentland beat them on Pee Kays too. THREE TWO after scores locked at 2 ALL
Kate Bush: Oh well, I guess it's 3rd or 4th now ... again.
Dazza: This is depressing. At least the crowd had a good time.

<Later after the game>

Dazza: (almost asleep) ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ (her phone rings)

Dazza: Who's ringing this time of night? A girl's got to get some sleep (answers phone) The Village Bike here!
Kate Bush: Oh hi, Dazza. It's Kate Bush, you got a moment?
Dazza: Yeah, I am not exactly asleep.
Kate Bush: I'm retiring from International football. I just got a job with local club at home.

Dazza: Come on Kate, don't you want to coach the next World Cup?
Kate Bush: I'm too old
Dazza: So am I
Kate Bush: But you're like Peter Pan, you don't grow up. I want the quiet life.

Dazza: So it means I'm coach next world Cup probably.
Kate Bush: Yes, sorry about that Dazza. It's been good with World Cup 34 and this cup. I finally get to coach my home team.
Dazza: That's alright. You go have a good sleep, I'm ringing home.

...

Rashina and Rocky watching DazMania

Rashina: Oh the phone, must be Auntie! (gets phone) Rashina Dallas here.
Dazza: Hey, busy?
Rashina: No, just watching your show. Rocky's trying win some money here.
Dazza: Want a job?

Rashina: What kind?
Dazza: Assistant coach of Jeruselem, that's if the Jeruselem FA approve.
Rashina: Me? I though Kate was the next coach.
Dazza: She changed her mind, so what do ya think?

Rashina: Give me the paper, I'm signing it.
Dazza: You're keen.
Rashina: Just want to make up for my fuckups lately
Dazza: Hey, I want to speak Rocky over there.

Rashina: Daz wants to talk to ya.
Rocky: Hello?
Dazza: How's our favourite pointy stick? You been using yours.
Rocky: I did yesterday.

Dazza: So, going give Rashina some kids now?
Rocky: It's a bit hit and miss you know
Rashina: (starts laughing)
Rocky: OK, it was a little hit and miss.

Dazza: Practice Rocky. Just pretend Rashina is me!
Rocky: She did sit on my lap in nurses uniform, that worked.
Dazza: You like nurses?
Rocky: I taped that DazMania show of yours. Err, yeah.

Rashina: Hey Daz, any competition for the coaching spot.
Dazza: Tunk is thinking about it. His local team is doing well.
Rashina: So Kate's given up.
Dazza: She wants the quiet life, but us Dallas girls are still around.

Rashina: Better let you sleep then.
Dazza: Tell Rocky, Dazza's naked in bed
Rashina: Rocky, she's naked
Rocky: Oh great, thanks for putting some images in my mind ...

Dazza: Good night kids.

Two-down with ten minutes to go. Edwina Bluff was desperately encouraging her team onwards, but they looked sluggish, out of sorts. She had made a triple substitution and taken a gamble by replacing one of the proposed penalty-takers with Edie Olafsson and gone for an all-out 3-3-4 but it was still not enough.

She had hoped that the men's team would be there to cheer on the girls, but there had been a problem with the flights on their way to the World Cup finals and they could not make it.

"Come ON!!! PLAY FOOTBALL!!! GET UP THERE, ROSIE!!!! AUUUGGHH!!!!"

"Problems, Edwina?"

"JOE!!!! Where did you come from?"

"We left our luggage...had to get here somehow...what's the score?"

"Two behind...how did you get to the side of the pitch?"

"Spare IDs from the WFA. We can count as coaches."

"Well, do some coaching then..."

Joe Weston had seen the problem before and when the ball went for a throw he called Rach Horne to him on the touchline. "Rach, if you lose this, you can forget playing hide and seek with Mr Footlong..."

"Joe, there is NO WAY we are going to lose this now...nice to see you!!! HEY GIRLS!!! LOOKEE HERE!!!"

"YAYYY!!!! ORGIES!!!"

Within five minutes it was 2-2. Olafsson got the last touch to an almighty goal-line scramble and Davies drove home a free-kick. Unfortunately Davies' attempts to Oliverry kiss Ray Jarvis in celebration were deemed "obscene" by the referee Ms Conception and she was given a yellow card. Her second of the game...

It gave Qazox new hope and they drove forward, stopping the royal blue wave. A winner was not forthcoming in normal time, or indeed extra time, so it went to penalties.

And Wentland had difficulties. Dougall, Horne and Barnfield were on the pitch to take penalties, but Davies was off - and both Kumble and Cadman, who were fifth and sixth choices, had been substituted.

Two sacrificial lambs were therefore chosen for the spot-kicks. Becky Stephens had scored a crucial penalty in a previous World Cup and she asked to take the first, scuffing it but confusing the Qazox keeper. Her team-mate Rosie Dougall took Wentland's second and dispatched it with relish.

But Qazox had scored both of theirs.

O'thi H'wu stepped up for Qazox, a fervid home crowd creating a cauldron of noise. Surely it would not faze the veteran striker? It did - weak and close to Kirsten Cassidy, who gathered it up like a mother with a lost child.

The crowd visibly punctured, and only pepped up for the third Wentland penalty. The crowd reached fever pitch in trying to put off Rach Horne, who had been promoted up the order to take this crucial kick. Horne was coolness personified as she waited for Breon to commit herself before rolling it into the opposite corner. 3-2.

Lorrie Daley for the fourth Ox penalty. Cassidy refused to buy Daley's dummy. In fact, she returned it to the shop as it was broken and demanded a refund. The shop offered her a football instead, passed gently to her left, and she flicked it away with some contempt. It was still 3-2 and Wentland were a penalty away from the final.

It was made for Katie Barnfield. She strode up with confidence and struck the ball with venom. When it comes down it will be in Estresse Intenso and the model was distraught.

Not as distraught as Thalia Pellegrini, who would therefore have to take Wentland's fifth penalty. She was consoled by a very concerned Davo Eager, who offered to show her his etchings, whilst Kirsten Cassidy looked back enviously. The feelings ran through Cassidy with such force that she boiled on the goal-line, intimidating Bucci into a mis-hit which she saved easily. It was over and Cassidy ran straight for Eager, to find out exactly what he was doing with Pellegrini. As the team celebrated, Eager suggested a little experimenting, and KC fell for him all over again.

CRAZY GAME ENDS IN PENALTIES

The players seemed very nervous, playing the semifinals for the first time in their history against an experienced team. But the coach Mário Silveira, a famous tactician, prepared the team well to deceive Jeruselem, inventing some new attacking plays and counterattacking with ability. With this new strategy, the players had their best game in the whole competition.

Mário Silveira put three defenders with two wingers, something that could be seen as a defensive strategy, but it wasn't. The wingers were extremely offensive, and scored two of the three goals. Unfortunately, Letícia suffered a lot being the only defensive midfielder, and because of that Jeruselem was able to score using the centre.

When the game started, Cafundéu surprised. With a fast wing attack, Luísa scared Kushava, who saw the ball going wide. After more than twenty minutes, the first goal. Cafundéu was better in the game and, after a good play made by Fernanda Garcia, Vanessa shot to score the first goal. Six minutes after, Luana ran from the left wing and crossed the ball. Kushava let the ball enter in the goal, in a horrible mistake.

Jeruselem was able to score a goal before the halftime, with Kelly Goldstein. She received the ball inside the area from Folkstia, dribbled Jaqueline and scored the goal. After the halftime, Jeruselem made changes in the team to attack even more. After less than five minutes, Monique Alexander shot from outside the area and scored a beautiful goal. Cafundéu's strategy was still good, but Jeruselem was starting an incredible recovery.

When the second half reached its half, Jeruselem was able to take the lead. Saja Sa dribbled Letícia and passed the ball to Bibi Goldstein, who wasn't being marked and didn't have difficulties to score the goal. Losing the game, Cafundéu attacked. Fortunately for the Golden Girls, Ana Laura was able to score the goal minutes after, sending the game to the extra time. But nothing happened and the game went to the penalties.

PENALTIES - the details:

CAF: Cafundéu starts. Fernanda Garcia takes the first penalty and... scores.
JER: Chrissie Ronaldo shoots for Jeruselem and... the ball hits the post.
CAF: Luana shoots and... scores.
JER: Bibi Goldstein shoots and... gives no chances to Jaqueline.
CAF: Luísa takes the penalty and... Kushava saves.
JER: Angie Jolly shoots with strength and... scores.
CAF: Alice takes her penalty and... sends the ball wide.
JER: Folkstia shoots and... scores.
CAF: Ana Laura has to score and... she does it.
JER: Monique Alexander has the chance to win the game... but Jaqueline saves. End of the first 10 penalty kicks, current result is 3x3.

CAF: Nina shoots with strength... the ball hits Kushava's face and enters in the goal.
JER: Lara Croft shoots and... scores too.
CAF: Milene takes the penalty kick and... easily scores.
JER: The responsiblity comes to Saja Sa who... sends the ball wide.

Cafundéu commemorated the victory and the qualification, and discovered that the opponents in the Final would be Wentland. "We've already defeated them before", said defender Luana. But the coach Mário Silveira replies: "But this time it's a different situation. They'll give their best, but we'll do it too. This will be an equal game, but I'm confident that my strategies can help the team to win the title."

The attacker Ana Laura cried after the end of the game, and talked with the press: "It's wonderful to go to the final, but we don't want to stop here, we can go further." The Golden Girls need to get prepared, because a Final isn't an easy game, especially against the champions Wentland, which even won a title playing in Cafundéu.

Goals:CAF: Vanessa 24' , Luana 30' , Ana Laura 74'.
JER: K.Goldstein 38' , Alexander 49' , B.Goldstein 67'.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Jaqueline, Vanessa (Rafaela 45'), Luana, Sabrininha (Nina 45'), Morena and Sarah; Letícia (Milene 71'), Alice and Fernanda Garcia; Luísa and Ana Laura.
Coach: Mário Silveira.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/jeruselem.png JERUSELEM: Kushava, Filly, Croft, Foster (Kost 26') and Jolly; Alexander, K.Goldstein and Henry (B.Goldstein 45'); Haven (Ronaldo 79'), Saja Sa and Folkstia.
Coach: Kate Bush.

Lake Porter Sun
Finally....the WWC has come to... Qazox.

DISSAPOINTMENT

A 2-0 lead with 10 minutes left and you'd think that the Lady Oxen would be in the finals, right? WRONG. A pair of goals by Wentland and suddenly it was into extra time, of course which ended still tied at 2-2. Wentland's better Penalty takers managed to get 3 in, and Qazox could not reply. So its off to the 3rd place game in Fromburg against Jeruselem, while Wentland will take on Cafundeu in Qazox City.


Qazox Scoring:
O'thi H'wu (2,3)- 40', 65'

RP Cutoff Championship/3rd Place Results:


FINAL @ Qazian Memorial Stadium (Qazox City) Capacity: 98,000

CAFUNDEU VS. WENTLAND (2-1 Cafundeu A.E.T.)

THIRD PLACE MATCH: @ Fromburg Field (Fromburg) Capacity: 65,000.

QAZOX VS. JERUSELEM (2-1 Qazox)

Congrats to Cafundeu for winning their first title.

As for WWC12??? Don't know yet.

Jeruselem Government News

Kate retires from international duties

Women's World Cup 11 coach Kate Bush retired after Jeruselem finished 4th. She didn't regret being part of the experience saying it's made a better coach and she's settling down to quiet life. She is the new coach of Christian Palestine United football team which is suffering in a lowly local domestic position.

The Jerusalem United assistant coach, also the Women's World Cup 11 assistant coach and current World Cup coach, the Village Bike herself said
"Kate's been good for Jeruselem but it's her choice what she wants to do. We're looking for a new assistant coach for the World Cup now, so if you want to have crack at glory apply now!"

Kate Bush cited family reasons for her retirement and said she wasn't up to the grade as World Cup coach in her own mind. She wished her replacement all the best.

In the preview of the future of football, Kate Dallas starred in the annual girls vs boys schools game. She played for the Jerusalem Catholic Schoolgirls team against the tough Lutheran Holy Schoolboys team, and the girls won to avenge their defeat last year. Kate Bush scored the winner after fighting her way through the entire boys team. Looks like Kate will be like her mother.

Well done, Caf. :)

CHAMPIONS!!!!!

That's it! Cafundéu's Golden Girls conquered the world for the first time after a field battle against Wentland. Players leaving the field with serious injuries, discussions with the referee and intelligent attacks transformed this game in a show. The game had to go to the extra time, and with a penalty, Cafundéu was able to win the title.

Mário Silveira prepared a balanced team, with a traditional 4-4-2 formation. With excellent wingers, the team was extremely dangerous, and had many chances to score. The team was nervous during the game and because of that two players were sent off.

During the first half, the teams attacked a lot, but both teams had good defenses, that stopped many attacks, sometimes with fouls. Before the twentieth minute, Ana Laura was going to invade the area, but Humble fouled her. Yellow card. Wentland had a good chance in the last minutes of the game, but Morena elbowed Pellegrini near the corner flag. The referee didn't see that.

In the second half, both teams were wanting the victory, but Cafundéu had more efficiency, especially using the wings. The goal happened soon. Natália received the ball from Luana, dribbled Newman and shot to the goal. 1x0. The teams were much more offensive, and the supporters were impressive by the speed of the game.

But Wentland didn't give up, and tried to score at all costs. Sarah made a mistake and Stephens tried to get the ball. Unfortunately for both, Sarah got the ball back in time and Stephens slided on her legs. Sarah was crying, and had to leave the game with a broken leg. Stephens received a direct red card. Wentland became even more offensive in the last ten minutes of the game.

Alice was injured too after falling badly on the ground, but decided to remain on the pitch until the end of the game. Newman hit her head on the post and had to be substituted. In the last minutes of the game, Cadman received the ball in the midfield, dribbled two players, passed the ball to Flack, received it back in front of everybody and shot to score. Vanessa complained with the referee, was ignored, and spit on her. Was sent off too.

Letícia was sent off too after receiving a second yellow card. But the game ended in a draw, so the extra time started. After more ten tense minutes, Fernanda Garcia invaded the area. Cassidy came to hit the ball, but hit Fernanda's feet instead. Fernanda fell over Cassidy, and both stayed on the ground with pains. Garcia had a foot torsion, and Cassidy a shoulder injury. But the referee marked a penalty and give the red card to Cassidy, still on the ground.

Ana Laura took the penalty kick and scored against Anne Foy. Cafundéu had just to control the game in the defense and wait for the end of the match to commemorate. The coach commented: "I did it, I did it! My team is the champions! I'll receive a wage increase!" The attacker Natália said: "The title is the most important thing of my life... more than my husband!"

Goals:CAF: Natália 62' , Ana Laura 102'.
WEN: Cadman 83'.

Yellow Cards (CAF): Morena, Tati Paçoca, Letícia and Fernanda Garcia.
Yellow Cards (WEN): Grady, Humble and Pellegrini.
Red Cards (CAF): Vanessa and Letícia.
Red Cards (WEN): Stephens and Cassidy.

Injuries: Sarah, Newman, Alice, Fernanda Garcia and Cassidy.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Jaqueline, Vanessa, Luana, Morena and Sarah (Milene 76'); Letícia, Tati Paçoca (Natália 45'), Alice (Souto Maior 90') and Fernanda Garcia; Luísa and Ana Laura.
Coach: Mário Silveira.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/wentland.png WENTLAND: Cassidy, Horne, Grady and Newman (Summers 81'); Humble, Stephens, Saunders (Foy 101'), Cadman and Dougall (Barnfield 45'); Pellegrini and Flack.
Coach: Edwina Bluff.

AFTER THE TITLE, THE REFORMULATION

After the title, the CFFC decided to make big changes for the next WWC. Many players have already played many WWC, so it's time to give a space for the new talents. This means that Ana Laura, Fernanda Garcia, Alice, Letícia and others won't continue in Mário Silveira's National Team, but other players will stay. "You'll see, we have some talented players coming", said Mário.

The CFFC also said that the next WWC can be special for Cafundéu. The president Nayara Duarte said: "We'll play as the defending champions, and maybe...", she stopped talking. Maybe the CFFC has some special plans for the next cup? Only time will say.

OOC: Go deCAF, WTG! :p