Dzanjir
30-03-2007, 02:45
The Grand Potentate was bored.
There was no question about it. The Obsequious Sycophants and Subservient Minions clustered around behind him and away from him in small groups, murmuring amongst themselves. The Potentate had grown bored with hunting human beings as a sport, devouring them as food, making everyone repeat his full list of titles whenever they addressed him, developing powerful superweapons like the crossbow and the battleaxe, and holding late-night orgies in the palace courtyard during which the participants (excluding him) were summarily executed in a particularly non-G-rated fashion.
They had agreed upon it. When the Potentate was bored, bad things tended to happen. Quite bad things. They had to suggest some new diversion, such as invading and enslaving a smaller country (there weren't many of those, as the Dzanjiru City-States put together had no more than four million people), or writing the scriptures for a new state religion. The Sycophants and Minions began moving towards the Imperial Courtyard in hushed agreement.
At the courtyard, K'iuth Gaelin dabbled his bare feet in the cooling water of the fountain. The fountain, and Gaelin's palace in general, contained nearly a tenth of the fresh water supply of the nation; but that was something else he couldn't be bothered with. He was really tired of being simply a psychotic dictator; no, there was a grander scheme at hand. He knew what he would do now: he would sail to the end of the world, and battle the monsters beyond the edge; then he would be the first man ever to return from beyond the earth, and surely be revered as a god among all the people of the world.
As the Head Subservient Minion entered the courtyard, Gaelin leaped lightly to his feet. "Minion! I have had an idea!" he began.
This can't be good.
"While I am rightfully worshipped within the borders of Dzanjir itself, other peoples know nothing of me. Other cultures ignore me. The world, in short, is not yet enlightened enough to worship me as a Living God the way I should be worshipped. But I will change that." Gaelin continued, gesticulating fiercely.
Oh dear god. What will he think of this time?
"I will set sail... to the end of the world. And I shall return!" Gaelin declaimed dramatically. "I shall battle and defeat the monsters that lurk beyond the edge of the earth. I shall claim dominion over the land that lies there. Then I shall return to the world and its peoples.... a hero! And you shall come with me."
Oh, shit. Well, comes with the job description I guess... "Most certainly I will, O Most Glorious Noble Eternal One. But... are you not worried about the monsters? They may be unlike anything we have yet encountered!"
"We shall bring weapons! Along with the head of the Immortal Legions, I suppose. And any valiant races that help us along the way may possess technologies we can add to our already formidable arsenal. Minion!" he called towards one of the Minions that had followed the Head Minion in. "Prepare a boat for us, the larger the better. And supplies for a year and a day. We leave at daybreak."
"Yes, O Most Noble Potentate," the Minion said, kowtowing for a moment before backing off with hands folded. Gaelin looked after him for a moment, then turned back to the Head Minion.
"Summon the Chief Legionary and inform him of our plans," Gaelin said.
"O most noble Potentate, pardon me for speaking once more so doubtfully, but who will look after the nation while we are all in search of the end of the world?" the Head Minion said.
"Do not worry!" That means: worry. "I shall take care of everything. Ever-benevolent, I will leave the governance of Dzanjir to the individual City-States' Lords. They shall form a council to unilaterally make decisions for the good of the nation. So it is decreed!"
The Minion wrote that down, knowing in his heart that it meant disaster for Dzanjir; but disobeying the Potentate tended to cause unpleasant things to happen to you.
* * *
An ornate handwritten missive arrives at the door. It's been distributed, apparently randomly, among two to three hundred nations; and likewise most nations will ignore it. Most leaders are far too busy to bother with such a thing; but a few may be attracted to it by the handmade paper, the golden fringes, the ink that appears to be human blood.
They will tear open the envelope, unfolding the paper within; the handwriting is beautiful and clear, slashed across the page as though revealing a red surface underneath it. One of the missives is Gaelin's true handwriting; the rest are those of scribes, working tirelessly to duplicate every last detail of it. It reads, in full:
Greetings, brave and noble peoples of the world.
You may not know of me. I am K'iuth Gaelin, the Grand Potentate of the Dzanjiru Commonwealth and the greatest hero ever to walk the earth. However, it seems the world at large has grown ignorant of my power and ability. Therefore, I have undertaken a glorious quest to cement my reputation and receive the recognition I surely deserve.
I seek the end of the world, to do battle with the monsters that lie beyond the edge and claim dominion over their land. For those who wish to join me, I have set sail in a ship of the sturdiest oak into the open sea, for the easiest way to reach the world's edge is to simply sail towards the horizon until it comes down to meet you. Simply trace its path out of Dzanjir and you shall find us. For those who do not wish to join me, I understand your trepidation at the prospect of doing battle with monsters, but do not fear; we have every kind of weapon available to man, from sharp sticks and catapults to the most advanced swords, pickaxes, and crossbows.
If you do not join me, you will simply wait until the day I emerge once more from beyond the edge of the world, victorious, my sword raised aloft and stained with the blood of the unknown. And remember that, in my own words, "Novelty is simply more things to conquer."
[signed]
K'iuth Gaelin
Grand Potentate of the United Commonwealth of Dzanjiru City-States
[Official Seal of the Potentate]
There was no question about it. The Obsequious Sycophants and Subservient Minions clustered around behind him and away from him in small groups, murmuring amongst themselves. The Potentate had grown bored with hunting human beings as a sport, devouring them as food, making everyone repeat his full list of titles whenever they addressed him, developing powerful superweapons like the crossbow and the battleaxe, and holding late-night orgies in the palace courtyard during which the participants (excluding him) were summarily executed in a particularly non-G-rated fashion.
They had agreed upon it. When the Potentate was bored, bad things tended to happen. Quite bad things. They had to suggest some new diversion, such as invading and enslaving a smaller country (there weren't many of those, as the Dzanjiru City-States put together had no more than four million people), or writing the scriptures for a new state religion. The Sycophants and Minions began moving towards the Imperial Courtyard in hushed agreement.
At the courtyard, K'iuth Gaelin dabbled his bare feet in the cooling water of the fountain. The fountain, and Gaelin's palace in general, contained nearly a tenth of the fresh water supply of the nation; but that was something else he couldn't be bothered with. He was really tired of being simply a psychotic dictator; no, there was a grander scheme at hand. He knew what he would do now: he would sail to the end of the world, and battle the monsters beyond the edge; then he would be the first man ever to return from beyond the earth, and surely be revered as a god among all the people of the world.
As the Head Subservient Minion entered the courtyard, Gaelin leaped lightly to his feet. "Minion! I have had an idea!" he began.
This can't be good.
"While I am rightfully worshipped within the borders of Dzanjir itself, other peoples know nothing of me. Other cultures ignore me. The world, in short, is not yet enlightened enough to worship me as a Living God the way I should be worshipped. But I will change that." Gaelin continued, gesticulating fiercely.
Oh dear god. What will he think of this time?
"I will set sail... to the end of the world. And I shall return!" Gaelin declaimed dramatically. "I shall battle and defeat the monsters that lurk beyond the edge of the earth. I shall claim dominion over the land that lies there. Then I shall return to the world and its peoples.... a hero! And you shall come with me."
Oh, shit. Well, comes with the job description I guess... "Most certainly I will, O Most Glorious Noble Eternal One. But... are you not worried about the monsters? They may be unlike anything we have yet encountered!"
"We shall bring weapons! Along with the head of the Immortal Legions, I suppose. And any valiant races that help us along the way may possess technologies we can add to our already formidable arsenal. Minion!" he called towards one of the Minions that had followed the Head Minion in. "Prepare a boat for us, the larger the better. And supplies for a year and a day. We leave at daybreak."
"Yes, O Most Noble Potentate," the Minion said, kowtowing for a moment before backing off with hands folded. Gaelin looked after him for a moment, then turned back to the Head Minion.
"Summon the Chief Legionary and inform him of our plans," Gaelin said.
"O most noble Potentate, pardon me for speaking once more so doubtfully, but who will look after the nation while we are all in search of the end of the world?" the Head Minion said.
"Do not worry!" That means: worry. "I shall take care of everything. Ever-benevolent, I will leave the governance of Dzanjir to the individual City-States' Lords. They shall form a council to unilaterally make decisions for the good of the nation. So it is decreed!"
The Minion wrote that down, knowing in his heart that it meant disaster for Dzanjir; but disobeying the Potentate tended to cause unpleasant things to happen to you.
* * *
An ornate handwritten missive arrives at the door. It's been distributed, apparently randomly, among two to three hundred nations; and likewise most nations will ignore it. Most leaders are far too busy to bother with such a thing; but a few may be attracted to it by the handmade paper, the golden fringes, the ink that appears to be human blood.
They will tear open the envelope, unfolding the paper within; the handwriting is beautiful and clear, slashed across the page as though revealing a red surface underneath it. One of the missives is Gaelin's true handwriting; the rest are those of scribes, working tirelessly to duplicate every last detail of it. It reads, in full:
Greetings, brave and noble peoples of the world.
You may not know of me. I am K'iuth Gaelin, the Grand Potentate of the Dzanjiru Commonwealth and the greatest hero ever to walk the earth. However, it seems the world at large has grown ignorant of my power and ability. Therefore, I have undertaken a glorious quest to cement my reputation and receive the recognition I surely deserve.
I seek the end of the world, to do battle with the monsters that lie beyond the edge and claim dominion over their land. For those who wish to join me, I have set sail in a ship of the sturdiest oak into the open sea, for the easiest way to reach the world's edge is to simply sail towards the horizon until it comes down to meet you. Simply trace its path out of Dzanjir and you shall find us. For those who do not wish to join me, I understand your trepidation at the prospect of doing battle with monsters, but do not fear; we have every kind of weapon available to man, from sharp sticks and catapults to the most advanced swords, pickaxes, and crossbows.
If you do not join me, you will simply wait until the day I emerge once more from beyond the edge of the world, victorious, my sword raised aloft and stained with the blood of the unknown. And remember that, in my own words, "Novelty is simply more things to conquer."
[signed]
K'iuth Gaelin
Grand Potentate of the United Commonwealth of Dzanjiru City-States
[Official Seal of the Potentate]