NationStates Jolt Archive

OOC: A quick reminder of suggested RP themes: background detail, defections, interviews and the Oneiromancer. These are all possible themes to facilitate / enhance RPing in this Cup, and especially interaction between nations / participants. For more detail, and to see what information has been provided by each country, see the roster thread ( http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=522109).

IC:
A man of somewhat below average height, his serious but not unkind face topped by short, dark hair, walked up to the podium with a confident stride. He was in the large press conference room of the Ariddian Football Association ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ariddian_Football_Association ), and gathered before him were a scattering of reporters from Ariddia and elsewhere.

Evgheny Melenciuc (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Evgheny_Melenciuc) – the man now facing them – was not entirely unknown to the media. Although he had only recently become president of the AFA, he had been instrumental in drawing up the PDSRA’s co-hosting bid for this Cup. . . and, before that, he had led the Rouge-et-Noirs, as coach, to their first ever World Cup victory in the thirty-second edition of the competition. All in all, he was the darling of Ariddian football fans.

He coughed lightly, glanced at his notes, then pushed them aside.

“Ladies, gentlemen, and whatever else may be out there,” he began. There were a few flashes from photographers. “I’ll be very brief. As preparations are underway for the thirty-fourth World Cup, and the list of participants has been finalised, I would simply like to say that it is an honour to have been chosen, by the international community, to host this competition. The World Cup is coming back to Ariddia, its founder, and to the Holy Empire, thirteen decades after our two countries hosted it last. None of us were alive back then – well, not in Ariddia, anyway – and I’m very pleased for this opportunity to bring new experiences and memories to new generations.

We hope we can make this special, memorable. . . or, at the very least, enjoyable.

Ariddia will be ready to welcome some of the best football teams in the world for the final stages, and to give them a very warm welcome indeed. Our country is well known for its hospitality, its sense of caring and friendliness, and its amazing weather. When it’s not pouring with rain for days on end.

When the names of the qualified countries are known, you will be able to see their flags all over Rêvane, Haven, Wavecrest, Ata’eatu, and everywhere else football matches will be held in our Islands. Stade National Rêvane-Sud will be surrounded with huge photographs of many matches from World Cups 1 and 2, including the finals between Crosshill and Europa Brittannia, and Al Quds and Tanah Burung. We will remember the past with interest, nostalgia and pride, even as we focus on the present, and on an exciting new challenge.

To conclude, by switching from my AFA President cap to former coach, I want to say that I have full confidence in Yves al Jahdali, my successor as coach, and in each and every Rouge-et-Noir, and in every person involved in the efforts to ensure that our national team performs to its very best.

Welcome, one and all, to Ariddia. We’ll be waiting for you with open arms. . . but, I hope, definitely not an open net.

Thank you very much, and forgive me for that terribly bad pun.”

"Good evening, I'm Ryan Santana reporting live from a crowded Freedom Park in the centre of Stape where football fans from accross the Commonwealth have gathered at the foot of the headquarters to the Commonwealth Sport Council in order to hear the draw for the thirty fouth NationStates World Cup qualifiers. People have been arriving here since early this morning and though we are still several hours away from the official draw the fans have turned this into one massive party. Over to my left a stage has spontainously appeared and several performers and bands have been keeping this crowd entertained all after noon. There is a presence here from the capital's law enforcement units, but clearly no trouble is expected as it appears they have all made their way to the beer tent.
News from the Fort Europe camp tells of nervous expectation from the players and of course the new team manager, Shaun Miller, who only joined the national side ahead of this cycles Commonwealth Trophy. Shaun of course won't be announcing the team for this World Cup until tomorrow but he has been kind enough to give us a few moments of his time to tell us his expectations for this coming tournament. Shaun everyone expected Fort Europe to qualify for the finals in the thirty third World Cup, and expected a good performance in the Cup of Harmony, do you think you can deliver this time?"

"I'm confident we can go further than we have before now, yes. If you're asking me if we'll win it, I'll have to say we'll give it our best shot but it's going to be a tough year. There are a lot of decent teams out there and we will need to be on top form."

"Now we already know that one or two faces won't be appearing in your team this cycle due to retirement or injury, so what can you tell us about the players you've brought in.?"

"I'm affraid you're just going to have to wait until tomorrow like everyone else for the team sheet. I will say though that there is a lot of great tallent in this cycle's squad and I'm sure few fans will be complaining about my choices."

"You say they won't complain about the team you've picked, but can you respond to some of the critism from the fans regarding your appointment as manager."

"To be honest I think some people would complain who ever the Sports Council picked for the job, I know there were several of us in the hat to be chosen and I will do the best job I can, I only hope those fans who would have prefered someone else can over look their sceptism and give their all to support the team."

"Thank you Shaun. So there you have it, a new manager, a re-shaped national squad and another chance to prove the strength of Fort Europe's footballing tallent on the international stage. I'll be back in a few hours and a few pints with news of the draw, but until then this is Ryan Santana handing back to the studio."

By order of his Imperial Majesty the Basileus of the Holy Empire, noted Imperial poet Guillermo B. Yeatses has written a work to specifically commemorate and help introduce World Cup 34.

EASTER, WORLD CUP 34

I HAVE watched them at close of day
Coming with vivid faces
From counter or desk among grey
Ordinary Reality houses.
I have heard with a nod of the head
Their polite meaningless words,
Or have lingered awhile and watched
Polite meaningless words,
And thought before I had done
Of a mocking tale or a gibe
To please a companion
Around the fire at the club,
Being certain that Ordinary Reality
Is a place where motley is worn:
All changed, changed utterly by football:
A terrible beauty is born.

That woman's days were spent
In ignorant support of Sel Appa,
Her nights in argument
Until her voice grew shrill.
What voice more sweet than hers
When, young and beautiful,
Her team reached qualification?
This man had kept a school
And supported Wentland's Swifts;
This other his helper and friend
Was coming into Krytenia's world;
He might have won fame in the end,
So sensitive his nature seemed,
So daring and sweet his thought.
This other man I had dreamed
A drunken, Dazza Dallas-lusting lout.
He had drooled and thought wrong
To women who are near my heart,
Yet I number him in the song;
He, too, has supported his team
Through the casual comedy;
He, too, has been changed in his turn,
Transformed utterly by football:
A terrible beauty is born.

Hearts with one purpose alone
Through summer and winter seem
Enchanted through ninety minutes
To support their football team.
The stadium down the road.
The coach, the players that range
From pitch to tumbling pitch,
Minute by minute they change;
A shadow of cloud on the team
Changes minute by minute;
A hoofed ball slides down the line,
And a winger crosses the ball;
The long-legged forward dives,
And the ref then signals the goal;
Minute by minute they live:
The ball's in the midst of all.

Too long a sacrifice
Can make a stone of the heart.
O when may it suffice?
That is the Empire's part, our part
To murmur name upon name,
As a mother names her child
When sleep at last has come
On limbs that had run wild.
What is it but nightfall?
No, no, not night but dreams;
Were they needless dreams after all?
For supporters may keep faith
Even if a loss is done and said.
We know their dream; enough
To know they dreamed of their team;
And what if excess of love
Bewildered them till they dreamed?
I write it out in a verse -
Ariddia and Az-cz
And Squornshelous and Zwangzug
Now and in time to be,
Wherever team kits are worn,
Are changed, changed utterly by football
A terrible beauty is born

In a time where the World Cup returned to its roots...

[Eleven men and women in the Ropa-Topian football uniform walk onto a football field]

Eleven heroes have been selected to make sure this time they will advance to the World Cup.

[Several shots of goals being scored by Ropa-Topians]

History will be written.

A film by Ferdinand Klungelaer
From the producers of 'Ariddia' and 'Alasdair I Frosticus'

Grumpy Old Fogeys
This film has not yet been rated

OOC: A roster will be posted in the roster thread whenever it's done. Hopefully in the weekend.

Turtles Prepare for 5th World Cup Attempt

After a spectacular run in the 33rd World Cup, the Turtles are ready to do it again. The last time they finished third in group, scoring a qualification spot. They went through the Cup Proper Group Stage as runnerup, drawing Assegai Developments, losing to Jeruselem, and then defeating Cafendeu to secure a spot in the Round of 16. Hopes were dashed when Demot defeated Sel Appa 2-1. This time should see Sel Appa do very good in group as it slowly rises to the top.

Ranked 31st, Sel Appa is now in a position to be taken seriously in the top 32. Starting as an unheardof newbie team in the 30th World Cup, Sel Appa has advanced faster than average. Over 45% of Sel Appans think the Turtles will at least make the Quarterfinals, 72% think they will qualify at least, 21% think Sel Appa will make the Semifinals, and a fringe 7% think Sel Appa will actually win the World Cup. Even super-optimistic coach Charles DuPont is not even considering that Sel Appa would even make it to Final. "It's just so unlikely, we have to say it won't happen." Most of the team has similar feelings.

A new player, Arthur Mercator V replaces retiring midfielder Pho Nguyen and will join his father Arthur Mercator IV and continue the Mercator Dynasty. Both father and son are expected to make an excellent duo and should be watched by friend and foe alike. In related news, Alan Dubrov was sold by Eniarku Dynamo to Cafendeu's Dunboor FC. Dubrov is "excited" to be the first Sel Appan to play on a foreign team. FFSA President Henri LePoivre says many other players are interested in playing abroad. At home, the Nemnen Turtles have again won the Turtle Cup for the seventh time in a row and thirty-fifth time of all.

Fernando Turek turned in his roster sheet to the QFC President and expected the worst..

"'Nando... It's brilliant!" the Pres said much to Turek's surprise. "About damn time we kept a team together. I think that's why we fell apart after WC 31, too many new players and by the time the team meshed, it was too late. So how far do you think we'll go this time?"

"Sir, it all depends on the route we gotta take there. Since we're ranked decently this time around, i expect us to get a slight break and be put in a group with only one or two other "good" teams. Other than that, all i do is make sure the best 11 players are out there." Turek replied.

"Well, that's good and all, but after 2 qualifications, the expectations will be a bit higher this time around. Personally, if you qualify for the Cup Proper, that's good enough, but most of the council and the media are expecting nothing less than Round of 16 or better. I'll do what i can to keep the media from harassing you about it, but i'm letting you know, you'll be asked that a lot over the next couple of months." Replied the Pres.

"Ok, sir, gotta go, we got a friendly against Az-Cz to prepare for." Turek said leaving the room.

(ooc: If possible, Az-Cz i'd like a friendly before the WC, if the hosts wouldn't mind scoring it.. thanks.)

Noz-Tf: I've called everyone today to announce the hiring of the next Az-cz soccer coach, taking over for World Cup 34. Let me introduce Nicolas Hausen, the former coach of Geisenfried. After guiding Geisenfried from a moderate team with no cup experience in World Cup 31 to a team that's made the last two quarterfinals, there can be no doubting his coaching excellence. Once coach Khim and Coach Hawdon announced they were stepping down he was our first choice.

Hausen: I'm glad to be here. It's an honor to take over such an excellent team. I 'm looking forward to working with the players here. The talent level here is so high, and to have a true legend in Pizelkaxrovsky on the squad is even better. It should be quite exciting.

Az-cz Reporter 1: Coach Hausen, why did you decide to come to Az-cz? Geisenfried has a great team, it's first ever top 10 ranking and it's your home country.

Hausen: It was a tough decision. But in the end it came down to where I felt I had the best chance of winning a cup. The Gnomes are the runners up from last cup. They're ranked in the top 6. When a team like that comes calling you have to listen. As much as I love my Geisenfried players there isn't anyone on the team as talented as Pizelkaxrovsky. I truly believe we have a shot at bringing home the title this cup.

Az-cz Reporter 2: You're following in incredibly big footsteps, with almost no room for improvement. Are you worried about that?

Hausen: Not really no. Yes the previous coaches were great, coach Khim especially. To guide multiple teams to the world cup proper finals is incredible. But there are still plenty of accheivements for the Gnomes to make and still things I'd like to get done. So to say that all I can do is fail relative to expectations is insane. And I think Az-cz fans know that.

Az-cz Reporter 3: Geisenfried is known as a defensive side. Az-cz is a bit of an attacking nation. How do you reconcile the two?

Hausen: I'm not married to defense. The team and players we had in Geisenfried are more towards defense. I understand that Az-cz as a nation is directed more towards offense. I'm flexible enough to adapt my ideas and goals to work in a manner benefitting Az-cz.

Az-cz Reporter 4: Word has it that a friendly arranged with Qazox will be your first match as Az-cz coach. What are your thoughts about that?

Hausen: It will be a good test. Qazox had an incredible run last qualifiers and one short burst allowed us to do them in. I got a first hand look at their squad last cup, which I don't believe has changed, and hopefully we'll be able to use that to our benefit. Playing a team of that calibre, but one like Geisenfried and Az-cz that's in a different standing than it's used to will be good.

Az-cz Reporter 5: What changes will you be making to the roster?

Hausen: None. The entire squad is back to try to improve on their great finish from last cup.

Az-cz Reporter 6: Are there any teams you'd like to see or avoid in qualifying?

Hausen: Northern Bettia and Turruth Gordur. Not for football reasons per se, but because of hooliganism. I hope that all of our matches can be conducted in a fair spirit and with a sense of fair play, which those two nations don't provide.

Noz-Tf: Thank you very much for your time today Coach Hausen. We're looking forward to this new era of Az-cz football.

Reporter: Hi there Dazza, so how does it feel to be a World Cup coach finally?
Dazza: Great, I've done everything else including coaching the women's team so there's not much left to do.
Reporter: What is left?
Dazza: To win the World Cup of course.

Reporter: I see you actually have an assistant coach for the first time, never since World Cup 11.
Dazza: Kate Bush is great assistant, she's does all the running around for me. I do all the talking and other things.
Reporter: You look good today. Hardly look 30 at all.
Dazza: That sort of comments makes women really happy (smiles)

Reporter: I see we have a monk in the team, replacing Tunk.
Dazza: We have all sorts, we are multicultural. Monks and porn stars in the same team as well as normal people. Yes yes, Jeruselem is not the old Jeruselem. If you are good enough, you can play for this team.
Reporter: A lot of women this time around, any reason why?
Dazza: We have a lot injured male players in the domestic league so Women's World Cup players are filling in.

Reporter: Your friend Monique as Captain and Big Gay Al as vice captain. Strange selections.
Dazza: Moniques been captain before and Al is retiring so why not make him the vice-captain. He's a great motivator in touch with the male and females of the team.
Reporter: Where's your man? The one you married ...
Dazza: He'll be at home with the kids. He likes it that way.

Reporter: So, your family is wrong way round - wife is away working and man takes care of the kids.
Dazza: He's got my father and his wife to help, so don't worry!
Reporter: What you holding there?
Dazza: Just some cloth.

Reporter: Looks like underwear
Dazza: Didn't get time to put it on
Reporter: Thanks for that.
Dazza: It's normal.

Reporter: We are ranked 2nd behind Bettia who won last cup, so any expections.
Dazza: Make the quarter finals at least, but we are going for the win. There is no other way.
Reporter: How do think the Lions will do?
Dazza: Hopefully a lot better than last cup.

Reporter: Your dream final - who would be the opponent?
Dazza: Bettia or Nedalia, but more likely Bettia. If not those two, Qazox or Arridia.
Reporter: Good luck with team
Dazza: Thanks

The Team sat in the dumpy little motel they'd managed to rent, preparing for the games ahead of them. Gerald Norris was taking the floor, explaining the tactics and plays to be used.

"...When the ball comes into your possession, Peter, you'll pass responsibilty to Mr. Danning, as it is a liability. If it gets stolen on the pass, call objection on the grounds that the other team is trying to sway the jury's opinion, and trying to influence the score. If it is over-ruled, then proceed to..."

The three Strikers, John Danning, John Downing, and John Dressing, were busy conning one-another out of various personal effects, and ignored the Attorney. John Dressing was attempting to get John Danning's shirt from his back, by pretending to be a fancy french tailor. Meanwhile, John Danning was cheating John Downing out of his pocket change by pretending - quite convincingly - to be a one-armed bandit, and only holding up two oranges and an apple each time his arm got turned. John Downing, meanwhile, was forging John Dressing's signature onto a each coin he he deposited into John Danning's pocket in exange for a try at the one-armed bandit.

It was a confusing spectacle only decipherable by specially trained door-to-door salesmen and the occasional con man.

Meanwhile, the three beaurocrats compared SSA-53Y Forms, and examined their DS-D77 duplicates, failing to notice that all the signatures on them had been forged by one hand. They hadn't noticed the slight consistancy of thin 'i's and long 'a's in the writing when John Danning had submitted The Team's roster, and accompanying ITr/Mr-11 forms, complete with the faked signature of Raging Penguins' President Phether Tuks.

At the same time, Peter the Pet Rock was acting as judge for the staring match between the hatstand and the Stop Sign(and accompanying Police "Do Not Cross" Tape). They'd been going for three hours without blinking. The contest was intense.

Miss Harthswipe was busy in the bathroom, applying mascara and blush to his/her cheeks. S/He had heard that there were supposed to some sort of monk group playing, or hosting, or perhaps even both, and S/He found men in robes devestatingly attractive. Miss Harthswipe was determined to get one.

Norris's voice droned on.

"...Then Mr. T. J. Eckleburg will give them the appropriate forms, and reffer the player with possession to Ms. A. Jenners, who will deny them till duplicates are made, and send them to Mr. T. Harold, who will send them back to Mr. T. J. Eckleburg, who will restart the process. If, by some chance, they get past the run-around, Miss Harthswipe will be standing by to..."

Yes, this was definately looking like a good season for The Team.

"Help a geezer up?"

Steven pivoted at the door to the clubhouse. Ulysses was climbing up behind him, smiling through exhaustion. "I...didn't know you were coming back."

Ulysses shrugged as he entered (without Steven's aid). "Neither did I. But I was impressed by winning the Cup of Harmony...how well d'you think we could do if all of us worked as a team?"

Steven gulped, hoping it was a rhetorical question. "Er...so...how about we see how the other midfielders are doing?" He followed Ulysses, closing the door against the wind.

The other midfielders were bent over a piece of lined paper, scribbling ferociously. "We really need an actual instrument to play this on," Roger muttered.

"One over there."

Steven pointed mockingly towards the sound of "Law-rence! Leave me alone!"

"One," Roger amended, "that isn't being used for self-defense."

"Any sort of defense, really." Jacob yawned.

Lawrence had never been a textbook model of his position.

With the itinerant saxophone eliminated from consideration, Jacob and Roger returned to their composition. "Across the nation, around the world..." Appropriate lyrics for a meta-anthem. "...everybody Zwangzug tonight..."

(press Conference #1)

Turek: Hi all. I'm here to let you know that under no circumstances the palyers are to be interviewed during this World Cup run. Any and all questions will be directed to and answered by me. The QFC (Qazoxian Football Council) will enforce this, so if your are caught tring to break the rules, at worst you recieve a Z75,000 fine. I'm now opening the floor for questions. You there in the middle with the fedora?

Man with Fedora: "Hank Truant, Graverville Times. Coach is there any truth to the rumor that you will leave the team after the Cup to become the Coach for Sativaville?

Turek: I have no intention of leaving Qazox, especially for those Potheads. Next question, the lady in the blue dress?

Lady In Blue Dress: Penny Nickel, St. Nash Inquirer. Coach have you made your decision as to the starters for the freindly with Az-Cz?

Turek: Yes i have, the same 11 that will start in the qualifiers. As for the Friendly with Az-Cz, given the recent tirades by their Association about women's football, i'm tempted to ask Stephany Hiesel to use her team for the freindly, just to rub the victory in their faces a bit more. (Laughter fills the room). You there in the red hooded parka?

Man in Red Hooded Parka: MMMM...mmmmm, mmm mmmmm mmmmmm?

Turek: What? I can't understand you. Sorry dude. One last question , the bald guy in the back?

Bald Man: Well i'm not gonna ask it now, i'm too sensitive about my thinning hair.

Turek: Any other questions?

Guy in back with Black Oxen woolcap on his head: Are you gonna take up the offer from Jeruselem to play them in a friendly?

Turek: It's not up to me, but if it was sure why not, we could use the competition after the Az-Cz match.

In response to the questions asked of him by some Az-Cz Paper, President of the QFC, Sir Kevin Yarks, has graciously allowd a rare interview, provided he has questions fax-ed to him.


1. Why did you want a friendly with Az-cz? To prove to our selves that we can beat the best consistantly, and who better that our previous Hosts?

2. What are your goals for this cup? To advance to at least the Round of 16 and possibly win the Cup.

3. What did you think of the cup held in Az-cz? What is your opinion of the playoff system? It was well run, but lack of tourist sites, made it a bit boring, but it was better than the frozen north of Quakmybush. Don't care either way.

4. What is your biggest complaint with the organization of the world cup? Too many newer countries that pop-up and think that they are the Shite.

5. What was your first memory of your world cup experience?
(please answer without looking it up) it was thrilling to be seated next to my mentor Sir Reginald Yark at the Baptism of Fire and see all the hard work come to fruition.

6. What is your highest and lowest moments in the world cup so far? Highest? WC31 Qualifiers when we fianlly got into the World Cup. As for the worst.. BOSTOPIA's Bu!!$#!t win over us in WC 29.

7. Who is the greatest player of all time? On our team? Reggie Hassok. granted the record wasn't great, but he had a presence that could lead a team. I miss him every day, as he was taken form this world far too soon.

8. On the current Az-cz roster which player is the scariest to you? Other than Pizelkaxrovsky? Stanleyinho

9. You are the biggest supporter of the Women's World Cup. Why do you insist on this double sexism of implying that women aren't good enough to compete with the men, when someone like Dazza Dallas proves they are, and exclude men from playing for no reason. And if the women's world cup isn't exclusive to just women, why do you insist on using that sexist name? The Women's World Cup is not about saying men and women aren't equal. We do not exclude men for the same reason the World Cup doesn't exclude women, we can't afford the lawsuits. We will continue to use "Women's World Cup" for 2 reasons, 1st- WORLD CUP Jr. sounds stupid and 2nd- 95% of the countries in the world exclude women from equally competing in the World Cup, countries like Every Citizen is a Man. Until true 100% equality is reached worldwide, the Women's World Cup will stay. One question for you if you don't mind. Why in the Olympics men and women compete seperately? Answer me that question, that is if you can.

Scores for currently requested pre-WC friendlies

Full range of bonuses used in friendly scorination is listed for the sake of transparency. No RP bonuses have been assigned for these friendlies.


Ariddia – Errinundera Friendly result.

Scorinated as an Ariddia home match (venue not specified in scorination request), with no RP bonuses for either team, and with Errinundera’s announced style modifier of +3, but no style modifier for Ariddia (no WC34 style modifier having been announced yet).

Final Score:

Ariddia 0
Errinundera 1


Az-Cz – Qazox Friendly result.

Scorinated as an Az-Cz home match, with no RP bonuses for either team, and with Az-Cz’s style modifier set to +2, Qazox’s to +3 (the announced maximum for this cup, Qaz!), as specified in roster thread.

Final Score:

Az-Cz 3
Qazox 2


Qazox – Jeruselem Friendly result.

Scorinated as a Qazox home match, with no RP bonuses for either team, and with Qazox’s style modifier set to +3, Jeruselem’s to +1, as specified in roster thread.

Final Score:

Qazox 3
Jeruselem 1

QSPNFOOTBALL.com Report

Qazox has started its way Towards WC 34 with a couple of friendlies earlier this week.

On Sunday night the Black Oxen took on defending runners-up Az-Cz in Az-Cz. The home side came away with 3-2 win, but Qazox held up well, despite falling behind 2-0 early in the match when Pizelkaxrovsky managed to score twice within 2 minutes at the 13th and 15th. Qazox' Jonathon Sarafin cut the lead down to 2-1 in the 42nd. The second half saw mostly the subs getting playing time and Az-Cz' Fe-Do scored in the 60th to make it 3-1, while Paulina Sardina got credit for a goal off a deflected corner by Alene Mcdivitt. Marco Hinger got the start, as Head Coach Fernando Turek is saving Greg Wolfen for the qualifers.

The 2nd friendly of the week came last night in Estadia Pika against Jeruselem. And no it was not a Women's Cup Game. Both national sides palyed and Qazox came out 3-1 victors, thanks to brilliant saves late by Hinger. Scoring opened inthe the 23rd minute when Regina Reginald managed to place one by Jeruselem's Debbie O'Hare who made the surprise start in net. Regina added a second goal in the 50th minute to make it 2-0. Jeruselem's Natasha Greski made it 2-1 on a penalty kick in the 65th after Dara Dreisbach was called for a handball. But Ione Nemetz answered back just 3 minutes later to provide the final margin.

Two matches against higher ranking teams and we came out looking decent. As usual, Qazox is very vunerable to counter-attacks due to the 4 forwards, but the Black Oxen attack is still strong. This team, if it learns to paly defense just a smidge better will go a long way in the World Cup, if it qualifies.

Unknown reporter: Not a good start for the Jeruselem team, losing to the Qazox national team in a friendly.
Dazza: It's our first official game with this team. Don't expect miracles from a team who haven't played together.
Unknown reporter: Why is that?
Dazza: Some of team members who were supposed be here got injured before the World Cup, so we had to make do with some new team members who aren't used to the new format.

Unknown reporter: But you play the same formation in the World Cup and Women's format.
Dazza: Yeah but the new women haven't played with the men before in this situation.
Unknown reporter: What do think of the Qazox team?
Dazza: Great team who could make the finals. If they can beat us, they can beat anyone.

Unknown reporter: Really, that good?
Dazza: Yes, being ranked in top 40 - all they to do is get better. I think this Qazox team can go places.
Unknown reporter: That's a good rap from a team ranked 2nd in the world.
Dazza: I have a lot respect for the nation of Qazox and it's football teams, oh and it's cycling too.

Unknown reporter: Anything to take from this game?
Dazza: Quite a lot, it's not all bad. All we need to tweak the balance of the team. The defense didn't really work today and we crashed under the attack of the Qazox. Positive signs in attack but we have finish a little better. Look, it was a friendly and we needed a game like this. We lost and well, this is a warning for the team - ranking is nothing if you don't play well.
Unknown reporter: How did Qazox team play - out of 10.
Dazza: I think 8 or 9.

Unknown reporter: And your own team?
Dazza: 6 I think. Maybe 7 but not much more.
Unknown reporter: Any changes to the team?
Dazza: I need to look at the game again and rearrange who goes where. I was playing around with formation a little today, I could afford to.

Unknown reporter: So you're not unhappy the team lost?
Dazza: No, not at all. It's a learning experience! We learnt Qazox can be very dangerous and we have to improve. We can just get better.
Unknown reporter: So, losing it not all bad?
Dazza: Friendlies are for making sure the team is ready for combat. We lost but we will improve.

Unknown reporter: Planning any antics this World Cup?
Dazza: Yes
Unknown reporter: Sounds bad then?
Dazza: I'll be more hidden as I'm coaching and not doing all reporting but I'm Dazza.

Unknown reporter: It's good talking to you
Dazza: Me too baby
Unknown reporter: You like talking a lot don't you.
Dazza: And other things too, we know all about that too.

Bazalonia yawns and rolls over in bed

"Oh, another one of those World Cup things..."
"Huh, World Cup, What's that?"
"Really, it's [the World Cup] run it's course."
"I don't care, go harass someone else."

These were just some of the comments of many Bazalonians in an exclusive BazSports survey, the results have resulted in the lowest ever interest in the World Cup qualifiers. It seems that not only interest in the Qualifiers have reached record lows but also in the 32 squad World Cup. No one is unsure exactly why, recent events resulting in Bazalonia becoming the WCC President, the near hosting win and a number of good results. No one is sure exactly why this has happened. Though there are many theories, some include Rightist, Starblaydi and even Qazoxian conspiracy theories. The Bazalonian Federal Police are neither confirming nor denying that they are investigating this matter and the nation is indeed split whether the BFP should actually investigate this phenonemon or whether it's the result of some kind of natural respoonse.

---

"I can't help wondering if there is something more to this than meets the eye, Perhaps the 'other' AR, you know down there, is in on this." stated Peter Hobble

"The Anathematic Republics?! They are not in this World Cup."

"You can never tell with them, but there are many options."

"Well, that's not our Job. Speaking of which, when's your interview with PINA. "

"Soonish, unsure exactly when. I'm on the list."

"Ok, so What do you think of this tactic....."

They continued discussing tactics and plans, to come to a uinified position.

Az-cz Scroll
Az-cz City
Nws-Mn

New coach, same old Pizelkaxrovsky

With coach Hausen making his debut all eyes were on the squad as they faced off with a strong Oxen opponent. Both teams had their full squads from last cup so there was no lack of talent on the pitch.

The Gnomes came out smoking fast with Pizelkaxrovsky dazzling the home fans with two incredible goals, one from a free kick, that the Oxen could do nothing about to blast the Gnomes ahead.

However despite the two goal deficit the Oxen held their head high and were actually playing the Gnomes basically even, some might even say better. They just didn't have the individual talent that the Robbers do. But some fancy team play led to a fine goal from Jonathon Sarafin to cut the lead.

Both teams had agreed to free substitutions for the match so at halftime they sent out their second squads. Fe-Do and Ho-Lee Chung showed the same skill they're currently showing in the AOCAF in Bettia for hooking up for another goal to reaffirm the Gnomes two goal lead. The last goal came late in the match on a scramble play on a corner kick that the defense just couldn't quite clear.

All in all a positive start to the cup. Beating a strong opponent is always a positive and should lead to a strong qualifying campaign. The Gnomes are looking forward to the draw and finding out who they'll have to fend off, and who else they can gain friendlies against. As for Qazox, they've stated a hope to make at least the last 16 and even have dreams of winning the cup. While we don't think they're a viable cup contender, they've definitely got the offense to advance into the second round. Maybe if they do that they'll focuse on the fair world cup and give up on the silly Women's World Cup.

*Inside The Portly Butler, a smelly little pub in Bloco'yce City*

*a small, dirty television in one corner crackles away with bad reception, as a reporter urgently shouts at the camera about the situation in the backround, which is a Civil War occuring in the streets of Bloco'yce City*

*Three men sit around a table, occasionally glancing at the screen, occasionally sipping from their glasses the toxic sludge known as Kindafrosti Dark Ale*

Man 1: "So, whadya think of it, eh?"

Man 2: "Dunno. I'm not putting my money on the military, though."

Man 1: "No? Why not? A bit of napalm from the skies and they win."

Man 3: "Not really. They've got to keep the image of benevolent rule for the innernational community, yeh? So's they can't just wipe 'em and everybody around 'em with bombs and fire."

Man 1: "Well, what else are they going t' do? They got whipped last time, didn't they? They're not gonna make the same mistake again, right? I mean—"

Man 2: "Sure, sure. But its different people this time. They wont expect to be taken by surprise again. Th' military always messes up, anyway."

Man 3: "On th'other hand, you never know. They could always, mebbeh, loik, uh..."

Man 1: "...What?"

Man 3: "...Ask Dregruk t' do it! We're a pro-, protem-, er, prototype, no wait, er, protectorinate of it, yeh? A protectorwhatsit-thingy of Dregruk, see? They're always blowing things up."

Man 1: "Nah, the government is always asking Dregruk t' help. This time, we got what-his-face in charge, the new First Chair guy inna Pub of Representitives, the Absolutist Anarchocrat, whats his name...Phillmiss! He's gotta spine, see? He's not like the ol' one, that cowering Minifish chap, them Singular Populists never do anything right, right?"

Man 2: "Don't make a difference. It's the same Generals, so the same decisions. Phillmiss has no influence over General Corsmuddle or his cronies, yeh? That man's been head of the Department of War and Other For'n Policies for fifty years, an' he sticks to his decisions. Kinda like how he still has the military using them cardboard guns and paper-machè helmets. He aint changin' his ways. They'll lose. No question."

Man 3: "Well, if'n they lose, then the mob'll hafta be brought in, right?"

Man 1: "Right. And that'll stop th' Civil War. I hates 'em, always interferin' just as things get exciting. I hates The Team so much."

HOLY EMPIRE HERALD

IMPERIAL GOVERNMENT OFFERS ASYLUM TO RAGING PENGUINS
ISPI Intrigued by Kindafrosti Dark Ale

By Anna Comneno

The Imperial Secretariat of the Purple Inkwell today announced that it would be offering political asylum to the entire Raging Penguins team, accompanying officials, and associated families and hangers-on should the team of con-men and bureaucrats reach the World Cup proper. "We love bureaucrats" said a senior ISPI official, speaking on condition of anonymity "And con-men are always popular in the betting industry. Why, we'll even put the police tape tied around the goal posts to good use should they make it all the way."

ISPI are believed to have extended the offer after State Bureau for Imperial Security Agents brought back samples of Kindafrosti Dark Ale from Raging Penguins, declaring the local beer to be "surprisingly excellent for a civil war-wracked frozen hellhole with a landmine problem" and "clearly in keeping with the spirit of Frostiness with a name like that". ISPI are believed to be insisting that the Penguins team - who are believed to be roundly hated by their nation's ordinary citizens - add at least one brewer to their national delegation should they manage to both qualify and avoid assasination prior to the tournament.

*Conversation between The Blue Eyed Man (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/The_Blue_Eyed_Man) and Milchama Banks (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Milchama_Banks) via phone*

TBEM: It's, IT's, IT'S,.......almost time for WC34!!!!

MB: yeah and it can't be worse than last year...

TBEM: Why so down Milchama?

MB:oh i dunno pre cup anxienty i guess.

TBEM: It will a great cup, and the sport's hour is going to be even better this year!

MB: yeah i know its not like you told me thousand times already *rollseyes*, you're on the CBC Sports hour with me.

TBEM: and i just told you for the thousand and tenth time to be exact.

MB: yeah okay whatever

TBEM: oo gotta go

MB: why so soon?

TBEM: Important UN Delegate stuff

MB: which just means you're getting drunk and laughing at the proposals with the other delegates?

TBEM: it's my sovereign duty *beaming smile*

MB: Well, i'll see you soon

TBEM: Ditto Milchama

*Click*

*Click*

Elves Security Forces – Assegai Developments Friendly
ESF at home, no RP bonuses, ESF style +2, AD style +1

Elves Security Forces 0
Assegai Developments 1


St. Samuel – Bazalonia Friendly
St. Sam at home, no RP bonuses, St. Sam style +1, Baz style +1

St. Samuel 2
Bazalonia 6

St Samuel began there pre-World Cup warm up with a home friendly at King's Park against Bazalonia. The match was a momentous occasion for the Crusdaers, being the first time St Samuel have played an international match against a team from outside of the Saint Holden region. King Justantine himself was present at the match along with a capacity crowd of 80,000.

The match got underway and it was clear from the start that Bazalonia were going to out match the Crusdaers and had a handful of opportunities with in the first ten minutes, which were only just kept out by good goalkeeping Niclas Corinthian. Bazalonia finally broke the dead lock after 10 minutes when Frederick Hampstead went one-on-one with Corinthian and cooly chipped the keeper.

What followed was 20 minutes of continuous attacking from the Bazalopes and it wasnt long until Hampstead got his second after 16 minutes with a powerful header from a Kang corner. Everrett Kang got himself on the score sheet 2 minutes later with a thunderous 30 yard shot which Corinthian was helpless to stop.

With half an hour played St Samuel finally started to show some signs of life and some good work from young Leo Sensini nearly saw the Crusaders pull a goal back from a fantastic Sensini free kick which was saved by Joshua Kang in style. Quentin Assington made it 4-0 to Bazalonia on the 41st minute with a looping header and Everrett Kang completed the first half annihilation with another fantastic long range shot that curled into the top corner.

St Samuel started the second half well and some early pressure saw St Samuel win a free kick on the edge of the box. Young Leo Sensini stepped up and curled a vicious shot into the top right hand corner and despite being 5-1 down the St Samuel crowd celebrated as if the World Cup had been lifted. Minutes later Dexter St John made it 5-2 when he volleyed in a cross from Batista at closs range.

Bazalonia soon ended any of St Samuels hopes of a revival and for 20 minutes played some beautiful football hardly allowing the Crusaders to touch the ball. Niclas Corinthian pulled off some fantastic saves in an attempt to keep the score line some what respectable but in the 80th minute Everrett Kang completed his hat trick with another screamer from 25 yards out, which even the St Samuel crowd were applauding.

Despite the 6-2 score line the St Samuel crowd was loud in voice and eager for the World Cup qualifiers to begin.

St Samuel manager Louis Della Penzzi has confirmed that he will be holding a press conference later on today.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/acapais.png Acapais National Football Team press conference

Jessica: "Hello and welcome to today's press conference for the Acapais National Football Team. We are pleased all of you could make it this afternoon for this is the first press conference of the year for the national team. In a moment, Mr. Anil Keswani, Manager of the Acapais National Football Team, will present himself and give you information about this year's team campaigning to qualify for the next World Cup. It is requested however that you save your questions until the end of the announcements. Well, my watch says one o' clock so, without further ado, I would like to introduce to you the first manager in Acapais National Football Team history, Anil Keswani!"

Light Applause

Keswani: "Hello everyone. Thank you everyone for coming. My name is Anil and I will talk to you about the team that will be competing in this World Cup’s qualification and that are hopefully able to acquire enough points to travel to Ariddia and Alasdair I Frosticus next summer. We are very excited for this is Acapais's second ever World Cup campaign. World Cup XXXIV will be our next opportunity to bring home an international trophy. By competing in the World Cup, it will bring more spirit to the already proud citizens of Acapais. Having been eliminated from the previous World Cup was a bit of a let down however I am certain that we have a chance to finish high this time around.

"Now, because this is only our second World Cup Qualifying appearance, other countries expectations for Acapais are somewhat low. However, my expectations for the team are higher than one might expect. Acapais is a young and inexperienced team with much to learn, but I can say that this is a team with a lot of potential. As nation ranked 63, qualifying for the World Cup will be a difficult task. That does not mean, however, it is out of our reach. Qualifying group format is undecided as of now however there will be nations in this competition who rank 62 places above us. None of this means however that we cannot upset these higher ranked nations and take a spot.

"In this tournament we will play a defensive game to try to outlast these nations. With our youth we should be able to beat them as far as conditioning. Offensively we have pace with, Duke, Jose and Van Savage. Our large goalkeeper is quick has a good positioning coach. All players on the roster are familiar with each other because they all play in the Acapais Football League’s Gold Division. Some players even have teammates the roster.

"Having said all of this, our goal, like the rest of the world, is simple; win the World Cup. Some of you might call me an optimist, but the members of the Acapan Football Association will do our best to bring home glory.

"Are there any questions?"

Points

Reporter 1: "What will be the best way to qualify for the World Cup successfully?"

Keswani: "If we play a solid game and capitalize on opponents mistakes there should be no reason why we can't qualify. We have to study lots of tape, know their preferred feet, know their tendencies, but I am confident my players can handle it. Yes?"

Points

Reporter 2: "Anil, How will you optimize the speed and skill of Van Savage and Salazar?"

Keswani: "We are going to put them wide and as attacking midfielders. Players with their pace and crossing abilities are optimized by sending them to the wings. These two players are raw talent. I am very excited to see what they can do for us this year."

Points

Reporter 3: "Will you expand on what you said about 'outlasting' you opponents?"

Keswani: "Certainly. Since our team is very young we will have the ability to run at a faster pace for a longer period of time. I have faith that when we play possession football and good defense, we should be able to make our opponents fatigued. Tired opponents means more goal scoring opportunities for us."

Points

Reporter 4: "Because Acapais are ranked so low, what advantages and disadvantages do we have?"

Keswani: "The disadvantages are that our players have only attempted to qualify for one World Cup and are therefore a bit inexperienced, and that we will more than likely get drawn into a very difficult group. However, there are many new nations entering the World Cup competition for the first time this year and therefore we should be able to stomp out these opponents."

Points

Reporter 5: "Why is Murphy again your captain of choice"

Keswani: "He has the most club experience for his team Highland Park FC than anyone else on the roster, and he is a natural leader. Shane knows how to get the best out of his players whether they are winning or losing."

Points

Reporter 6: "There is a lot of controversy surrounding the roster you chose. Tell us please why you went with such a young roster when there are clearly older players that play in the AFL."

Keswani: "Ah, I was wondering when someone was going to ask me that. The reason is because I want to build a young team for future World Cup competitions. If I put too many players that are over 30 years old on the roster, then they would only help us for World Cup Qualifying XXXIV and retire for the next one. By selecting young players I can ensure that the team will gain experience not only individually but grow together as a team. The Acapais Football Association is behind me one hundred percent on this issue."

Keswani: "This concludes the press conference. Thank you all for coming."


-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Acapais RP Threads
Roster Thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12478731&postcount=9)
Acapais PreCoH Press Conference

Norris stared at the newscast that appeared on the small, dirty television in the motel room. Political Asylum? Love of Beaurocrats? Popular Con-Men? Friends, family and hangers-on?!

"It's a trap", announced John Danning. "Nobody likes Kindafrosti Ale."

John Downing agreed.
"Saying that Kindafrosti Ale is excellent is like saying that Greycoldandugly Mts. Tea has at least one redeeming quality!"

"Yeah, that mention about the Ale blew it. We might have believed the whole Love of beaurocrats and popular con-men, but, man, they messed up," added John Dressing, while adjusting the coat he'd just obtained from Mr. T. J. Eckleburg.

"Oh my, these hosts aren't very hospitible to us, are they dears?" exclaimed Miss Harthswipe. "Arridia once declared The Team a national menace after one of those refferees got...mmm...ravished...by one of those little birds, and now these...Senior Imperial Officials want to put in a...Compromising Position."

The rest of The Team shuddered. Miss Harthswipe had a knack for making things sound...suggestive whenever s/he spoke. It was extremely disturbing to hear him/her speak, and even more disturbing to be in the same dressing room with him/her.

"Arridia will surely not have us arrested, Miss Harthswipe. We're not the same Team anymore, and there are no lunatic birds with us, either. That was years ago. They've got no complaints against us."

"Actually, Mr. Dressing, there is no indication that Arridia declared the arrest warrants null and void, or struck down the outlaw status of the entity known as 'The Team'," interjected Ms. A. Jennings. "As such, they still have the right to take us into custody, unless we have an approved Tk-77 Admittance sheet, signed and valid by the date of—"

At this point, all but the other two Beaurocrats blocked out her voice, and focused on Gerald Norris, who gave his opinion.

"Ms. A. Jennings is right, to a degree," he advised, "Arridia could still legally arrest us over the refferee incident, should they ignore the fact that most other countries would see this as unreasonable and un-sportsmanlike. However, if they wished to, they do have grounds for a lawsuit against us, which would have decreases likelyhood of dissent amongst other nations. Should this come to pass, I feel it may be prudent to take the Imperial Secretariat of the Purple Inkwell's offer, and seek asylum there. However, we might endeavor to go about seeking asylum there in a different way than they might expect."

He looked at the Johns pointedly. After waiting a moment for them to decipher what he'd just said, realization sparked in John Dressing's eyes.

"What sort of suit is a 'law suit'?" he asked. "Is it black and boring, or is it pinstriped? And does it come with a breifcase?"

Peter took a peek at the local coverage of the with St Samuel, The goal was to welcome St Samuel into the world cup, but also the strange sensation of Apathy that had spread throughout the nation.

Bazalonia who had a proud history of getting into and really supporting their national team suddenly acted like Casarans, though not being drunk all the time. Something didn't seem right. They decided to accept the invitation so that perhaps some of the enthusiasm from a new team would rub off on their team and be reminded what it was like to have the entire hopes of the nation providing the impetus to work their heart out. In 9 cups Bazalonia had worked itself from new nation to being one of the top 16 nations in the world. Perhaps it was just a natural occurance.

Peter, seeing the stadium remembered what it was like for his first international match in TeleBaz stadium all those many years ago. It almost seemed like it was another lifetime ago. IT brought back so many memories for him, the stadium was awash, not with the familiar black & gold of Bazalonia but with the light blue and white of their hosts. Usually there would have been at least 4 or 5 thousands fans from Bazalonia, usually much more particularily in a stadium this size but. no there was no discernable black and gold.

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/Baz33.png

Something was really wrong and by God he is going to get to the bottom of this no matter what the BFP are doing or not doing. The only question remains is where to start, perhaps there's some foreign involvement, perhaps not. He needed some help... but then he knew the right person.

The result was a forgone conclusion the Bazalopes where always going to win this, the biggest surprise was that they managed to score 2 goals, a careless tackle gave Midfielder Leo Sensini a free kick who managed to place it out of the reach of even Joshua Kanga and then Dexter St John made the most of a defensive lapse. A lapse that you could not afford with teams such as Starblaydia and others but one that you could usually get away with teams such as St Samuel but no, they realised it and made the most of the attack. How it wasn't to be any real problem considering the Bazalopes scored 6 goals and so they still beat the St Samuel team by a considerable margin.

World Cup Qualifying – Friendly

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/acapais.png Acapais : Sel Appa http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/sel_appa.png
2:2 (2:2)


Match Report:

Holliday, Acapais – An even matchup, riddled with injuries, between a veteran nation and a relatively inexperienced nation at Soban Lane ended in a 2-2 draw on Friday afternoon.

Nart started off the scoring by a glancing header to the far post from a splendid cross from Patette. Duke’s 30 yard blast in the 20th minute proved the increasing experience of the Acapan midfield. Jeremy Davis of Acapais pulled a hamstring and had to leave the game early. Estevez caught goalkeeper Dickenson off his line and chipped a graceful ball into the back of the net. Van Savage pulled a second one back for Acapais just before halftime.

Many seemingly harmless fouls in the second half led to injuries for both sides. Arthur Mercator IV of Sel Appa was clipped from behind and had to be stretched off. Craig Robicheaux of Acapais went down after tripping over the ball he was removed. Jimmy Peech of Sel Appa fell awkwardly and injured his shoulder. Kash Vasou of Sel Appa was sent off from uncontrollable bleeding and was rushed to the emergency room (he is fine). Jose of Acpais also had to leave the game early.

With the exception of Jose’s injury, all injuries were minor and are expected to be declared fully fit by next Wednesday. Jose’s fractured his collar bone and will be out for a minimum of six weeks.

After the match was over, the players of the two nations that remained traded jerseys just like good sportsmen.

Scoring:
Sel Appa – Nart (Patette) 7
Acapais – Duke (Van Savage) 20
Sel Appa – Estevez (Patette) 38
Acapais – Van Savage (Dickenson) 41

Booking:
Acapais – Jose (caution; Reckless foul) 55

Acapais Starting Lineup:
1 - Matthew Dickenson (GK)
2 - Shane Murphy (C)
3 - Nick McKellar
6 - Jeremy Davis (13 - Robert Hernandez) 34
10 - Shaurabh Nandy
4 - Craig Robicheaux (15 - Graham Atwater) 61
5 - Salvador Salazar
7 - Dom'onic Duke
8 - Alex McKellar
9 - Oscer Van Savage
11 - Ricardo Jose (12 - Samuel Haun) 68

Sel Appa Starting Lineup:
01-Vasily KASHCHENKO
05-Kash Vasou (04-Phil Lo) 47
06-Bernard APPLE
07-Jimmy PEECH (08-Fo CHANG) 54
10-Jacques TORTUE
11-Colin PATETTE
15-Arthur MERCATOR IV (12-Chaim STEINBERG) 65
16-Alan DUBROV
20-ESTEVEZ (C)
21-Alex NART
22-MIQUELINHO





-----------------------------------------------
Acapais RP Threads
Roster Thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12478731&postcount=9)
Acapais PreWC Press Conference (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12491022&postcount=23)
Acapais v Sel Appa Friendly

"Happy spring break!"

"Oh," Alan Babbage laughed mischievously, "it's going to be break for a long, long, time."

Charles Turing turned from his laptop (a rarity in and of itself). "Say what?"

"The AIU decided just to award us honorary degrees. It's a polite way of saying we're never going to rack up enough credits, so we don't have to pretend to go to class."

"Are we still going to be allowed on campus?"

"I'm sure, though there's plenty of data to crunch right here..."

The Wentland squad had been announced. Tommy Barnes paid the most basic attention to it. He knew he would not be picked, he knew it was most unlikely any of his players would be picked; they were not Hacker's brutal style.

But he thought there might be a place for Ginger Collins after the Cup of Harmony in the Dreamed Realm. Perhaps he would be of some assistance?

He discussed it with his vice-captain. "I did think that, Tommy...the only thing is that we've got to qualify first. No Dreamed Realm yet."

"No, I know...I just wondered whether the tendrils of the other world would somehow be coming through in qualification...the influence of the finals venue, or something..."

"God, I hope not...I've only just recovered from the last one."

"It's made you stronger, though, hasn't it? You're far more up with what goes on with the Holy Empire."

"Yeah, maybe...but it's not easy..."

"We'll have to see what happens...the draw's not been made yet. Maybe we'll get the Reg again."

Ginger Collins visibly paled.

Hartwick House, Fort Boston, Fort Boston

12:00 Midday BEST (Bostopia East Standard Time)

The Chairman of the BFA, Jeffrey Freimark stepped onto the podium, with a large screen behind him, and a spectacularly numerous amount of reporters infront of him. A big annoucement had been promised, and this is what they were going to be getting.

[Freimark] Good Afternoon East Isle, and Good Morning West Isle. The Football Association wishes to make a very important announcement regarding World Cup Thirty Five.

A snigger went up from the audience, this was World Cup Thirty Four. Then a hushed silence, as a stern look from Freimark revealed he knew what he was talking about.

[Freimark] Thank you. The Football Association is announcing it's kits for the next World Cup, which should be appearing on the screen behind me now.

Home http://www.btinternet.com/~david.boston/_bostopia/wc3536bos1.png Away http://www.btinternet.com/~david.boston/_bostopia/wc3536bos2.png Third http://www.btinternet.com/~david.boston/_bostopia/wc3536bos3.png

Any questions?

A journalist at the very back of the room stood up, and the rest of the journalists looked down at their notepads to make notes.

[Firth] Kelly Firth, Channel 9.

All heads now turned toward her. While you were more likely to see a naked body in Bostopia than a Sel Appa supporter - 600 times more likely, to be exact - this was Kelly Firth afterall.

[Firth] When will the new kits become the official ones, and when will they come on sale, and at what price?

[Freimark] Thank you for the question, Ms.Firth. The new kits will become official at the end of the 34th World Cup, or the end of the Cup of Honour, whichever finishes last. And they will be priced at B£29.99, with shorts at B£14.99 and socks at B£4.99. The third kit will be priced at B£19.99, due to it's perceived lack of use, but it will see some use. The kits are available at all FA shops nation and region wide, and within Bostopian embassies and consulates world-wide.

[Freimark] Oh, and National Team Manager, Adam Collick, is stepping down after this World Cup, after what will have been 24 years in the job. The next national team manager will be appointed shortly after the World Cup.

While the press scrambled, Jeffrey signalled there would be no furthur questions and walked off the platform.

Jeruselem Government News

Football hero dies of cancer

Former World Cup player and coach Harry Kool died from cancer today. He survived by his wife Rachel Kool, who worked for us and his daughter Kylie Kool who is Jeruselem's premier cyclist. He died peacefully in bed while being treated for many cancers. While the family didn't want to make a comment themselves, they left the task to the Dazza Dallas, a personal family friend.

The Village Bike said
"He was a great man who gave his life to football. He's done everything a man who played football in Jeruselem could. As a little girl, I watch him play for Jeruselem and do great things. The Kool family is strong and will continue to support football. The Jeruselem world cup team will play for Harry's memory and I will make sure when he's in heaven with God's Jeruselem football XI, we can make him proud. When he play for Jeruselem, he'll be with us. I want all media to pay tribute to a man who was sports embassador for Jeruselem, Radio Dallas will do this. I want all people to remember why people liked him, because he was a person who liked all people. He wanted the best for all people and did it for the family unit. Us Dallas girls understand this, the football family."

No date has been set for the funeral but it will be held after the World Cup 34 as Harry didn't want his death to overshadow his beloved team's efforts. The Jeruselem FA are considering renaming the Jerusalem United Stadium, the Harry Kool stadium.

To the World Cup Comittee,

We in Ulzaxid would like to know what the official ruling on brain sharing is? We can't seem to find any rules stating whether or not it is an allowable training measure. It doesn't seem to provide that much of an unfair advantage, not on the level of playing in full morph form, but it might not be allowed. We would appreciate full clarification on this issues as soon as possible. Thank you.

Ulzaxid Manager
Stuart_Abdul_Rahim

http://img69.imageshack.us/img69/5184/pinawcjustbxm7.jpg

Can the Raging Penguins ‘Team’ travel to Ariddia?
Controversy in the Social Republic

The question has sparked a suprising amount of controversy. Asked whether ‘the Team’ from Raging Penguins would be arrested should the match schedule bring it to Ariddia, AFA President Evgheny Melenciuc was not immediately available for comment. Meanwhile, others in Ariddia have been expressing their views on the topic.

“The Team are clearly undesirable here,” one minor AFA official said, speaking on condition of anonymity. “Quite frankly, everyone’s hoping they’ll either fail to qualify, or be scheduled to play in the Dreamed Realm. Not to mention the fact that they can’t do any damage in the Dreamed Realm.”

“We don’t really want to have to triple our security measures just for one team,” Sandra Tempes, a police officer in Rêvane, admitted. “I’m hoping they won’t be allowed in.”

The issue is whether or not the arrest warrant, issued many years ago now, still applies to the present Team, which consists in entirely new players. PINA has asked a judiciary factual assessor ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ariddian_government_and_judiciary#The_Judiciary), Michael Jones.

“The wording of the warrant is ambiguous,” Mr. Jones told us. “It applies to the Team, without mentioning specific individuals, but in my view it was implicit that it dealt with the specific individuals comprising the Team at that time. There would be no legal precedent to assume that a blameless person joining the Team would be subject to such a warrant. This is only my personal view, but I think we’d be legally obliged to let Raging Penguins enter and leave.”

There is also a question of sportsmanship at stake. It would be almost unprecedented for a football team to be arrested upon its arrival in a host nation of the World Cup.

“It wouldn’t reflect very well on us,” the anonymous AFA official admitted.

One option allegedly being considered is to have Raging Penguins play itse matches in the Ariddian Arctic Islands, which are not explicitly mentioned within the text of the warrant.

“I’m not sure the Arctic Islanders would want them, though,” Mr. Jones said. “I mean, what have they done to deserve a visit by the Team?”

To the World Cup Comittee,

We in Ulzaxid would like to know what the official ruling on brain sharing is? We can't seem to find any rules stating whether or not it is an allowable training measure. It doesn't seem to provide that much of an unfair advantage, not on the level of playing in full morph form, but it might not be allowed. We would appreciate full clarification on this issues as soon as possible. Thank you.

Ulzaxid Manager
Stuart_Abdul_Rahim


Dear Mr. Rahim,

Could you clarify what you mean by 'brain sharing'?


Sincerely,

Evgheny Melenciuc (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Evgheny_Melenciuc),
Vice President,
World Cup Committee

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, we're here at the training grounds of the Marauders, as they are preparing themselves for another round of qualifiying for the World Cup. As many of you know, the squad made history last tournament when they finally broke through and made the Proper, and then somehow made it past the group stage and beat the Turori squad in the round of sixteen. However, they would eventually fall to the defence gurus of Wentland in the octofinals, and with that victory, many of the faces that helped build the program to where it is today said their last goodbyes to the fans on the international stage. None were quite more emphatic than that of captain Zacharius, who auctioned off his legendary number eight jersey after the tournament, and used the proceeds to help build his own footballing academy in Raynor City. Also of note, was the eventual psychotic break of their manager, Michael Revtron, which caused the Elven Sports Commitee and the Footballing Association to once again find a replacement coach. They decided to make a splash with their signing, and hired fresh into retirement Soler of the Vilita national team. Since his take over, several changes have been instituted, including a new formation, to hopefully send the Marauders back into the glory of the Proper.

Kiso Night and Jere Jannian should be the players to watch if you are wanting to key in on individuals who might tilt the scales in favor of the squad in the qualification run. The one will be looking to step out of both of his parent's enourmous shadows and make his own legacy to be remembered on, while the other is looking to prove that his productivity in the domestic league is not a byproduct of superior teammates, but that of his own skill and work ethic. While both have their own dreams to fufill, the real story could be at goalkeeper, where Martin St. Louis' younger brother is pushing him hard for the starting spot, and could take over if the veteran shows any sign of slowing down. All in all, the final spot to where the squad will end up, be it the Cup Proper or the less than glorious Cup of Harmony, will be how the team reacts to success and how quickly they can get adjusted to this different set of tactics. With but a few weeks away until the tournament gets underway, the squad will be doing all they can in their trainings and likely will try to get a few friendlies as well. Reporting from the training grounds in Capri, this is Luna Santapa signing off until the group draw."

FRIENDLY

Commerce Heights JSY v. Bostopia
The 51st and 52nd-ranked teams in the world face off in beautiful Bostopia.....

Bostopia 2

CH JSY 1

<At a doctor's office>

Dazza: Well?
Doctor: You should be OK to go the World Cup.
Dazza: And my new kid?
Doctor: She's alright too.

Dazza: Anything I shouldn't be doing?
Doctor: Same advice as last time you were pregnant during a world cup, nothing new but since you are a little older now, I'd say you need more rest.
Dazza: But being a coach isn't something you can sit around and do, you have to be really active.
Doctor: Well, you have delegate some things to your assistant then. She's not pregnant.

Dazza: Oh well, I have to more lazy then?
Doctor: Yes.
Dazza: I don't look really pregnant do I?
Doctor: Yes, you seem to have small bumps and small children.

Dazza: What about this air travel?
Doctor: You're not in terminal stages yet so you should be fine, but do avoid unnecessary flights if possible.

(knock on the door)

Doctor's assistant: Dazza's husband is here.
Doctor: Let him in
Finn: How is my strumpet here?
Doctor: She's fine, don't worry.

Finn: What about her being all wobbly in Women's World cup?
Doctor: She wasn't eating enough and was getting too tired.
Dazza: I'm always wobbly!
Finn: You sure you want to keep on working, Dazza? You should be at home resting.

Dazza: I've done this before, and I can do it again.
Finn: Well, I can't complain about a wife who doesn't complain about her medical condition. Maybe better planning
Doctor: I don't but World Cups and kids seem to match well with your wife here.
Finn: Can't do much, have to take her home now.

Doctor: Dazza, if you feel bad then let your assistant take over. Don't stress yourself too much. It's bad for the child.
Finn: Don't worry about Dazza delegation abilities. She's an expert.
Doctor: Well, I'll see you in two weeks Dazza.
Dazza: Thanks doc.

Doctor: Just take care of yourself.

Mr. Melenciuc,

To answer your question brain sharing is the process in which we morph together with the non-slime members of another Ulzaxid in order to learn the knowledge contained by those members. The knowledge from one brain is all absorbed by the host slime and then later transmitted to the other members of the host. In this way we can share the entire breadth of our knowledge very quickly.

So for example if someone needs to learn a foreign language very very quickly, if they brain share with someone who already speaks that language they can acquire the knowledge of how to speak that language.

THE MONASTIC TIMES

MONKS IN HOLY WEEK FRIENDLY SCANDAL
Entire Team Subject To Disciplinary Procedures

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

Dire news was coming from Monastic Football Association HQ last night as the MFA was forced to concede rumours from Ariddia that the Archregimancy National Football Team had played a secret friendly against the Holy Empire in the Imperial Hippodrome during Holy Week.

"This is the most sacred part of the liturgical year" said a senior hieromonk, speaking on condition of anonymity "and yet our football team have sullied Christ's sacrifice by playing a frivolous 'friendly' game of football. It matters little that it was against the Monastic Republic's overlords in the Holy Empire - the fact of the matter remains that the match should never have been played at all."

Sources close to the MFA and the Holy Synod report that the entire Archregimancy national team is subject to as yet unspecified disciplinary procedures for this gross breach of monastic etiquette.

"What Coach Fr. David was thinking escapes me" said one source. "It's not even as if there could be any confusion over dates with Orthodox and Western Easter occurring the same weekend."

Details of the match, believed to have been played in order to test out the Hippodrome's new pitch prior to the Empire's forthcoming co-hosting of the World Cup prior, are hard to come by, though it is believed that the Archregimancy defeated their hosts 3-1.

Mr. Melenciuc,

To answer your question brain sharing is the process in which we morph together with the non-slime members of another Ulzaxid in order to learn the knowledge contained by those members. The knowledge from one brain is all absorbed by the host slime and then later transmitted to the other members of the host. In this way we can share the entire breadth of our knowledge very quickly.

So for example if someone needs to learn a foreign language very very quickly, if they brain share with someone who already speaks that language they can acquire the knowledge of how to speak that language.

To: Stuart Abdul Rahim, Ulzaxid Manager

In response to issues raised from communications between yourself and the Ariddian Vice President of the World Cup Comittee, Mr. Melenciuc. We have been in communication and have come to a consensus about the usage of a technique available to your species known as 'brain sharing'. After some time considering this and it's implications in coming to this decision. We also noted that there is nothing within the World cup rules that restricts the training methodoly that is used within any nation participating in World Cup Committee sanctioned events. As such we have come to the decision that 'brain sharing' does not contravene any rules of the World Cup Committee nor does it put in danger the integrity of the tournament. As such we have decided to allow the Ulzazid team usage of this technique for instructional and training purposes.

Yours Sincerly,

James Gaines, President of the World Cup Committee

To whom it may concern:

With the impending announcement of an Olympic delegation, it is only sensible for all athletic activities nationwide to be consolidated into a single organization. This organization supersedes the Zwangzug Football Association. Therefore, any communications accredited to said association sent since the first of April that may have been sent, such as those that may have contained sentiments to the effect of "How does competition tarnish sacrifices? Are they not all means to the same end, namely, that Easter feast of victory or whatever?", are not to be considered as expressing the opinions of the official Zwangzug athletic organization. The organization maintains the right of all nations to deal with their athletes and their religion as they see fit.

Sincerely,
Jacob Barons

The Crimson Blade

Assegai Maintains Dominance Over Elves

The historic rivalry between Elves Security Forces and Assegai Developments has transcended the YoungWorld region and has taken foothold of NationStates. However, despite ESF’s higher rank, Assegai maintained their hegemony over their longtime rivals with a 1-0 victory that ended with Assegai holding off a barrage of shots from ESF players, desperate not to get beaten in front of their home crowd.

After being contained throughout most of the match, Assegai forwards Severus Snape, Sidney Losstarot and Samantha Neesa were replaced by forwards Stephen de Cobham, Dominic Saint-Émilion and Viktor Krum, who was making his National Team appearance after having finally become an Assegai citizen.

Although the Elves worked hard to put the clamps on them, in the 75th minute, de Cobham and Saint-Émilion combined on a play to free up Krum, who scooted past the defenders as the ball was passed in front of him. Krum didn’t bother faking the shot and blasted it past the outstretched hands of ESF keeper Martin St. Louis to the dismay of the ESF supporters.

Meanwhile, Assegai’s new defense, bolstered by a stronger backline, was able to absorb most of ESF’s attacks. And, those that got by were smothered by timely saves from keeper Akihiko Yoshida, who earned his first shutout against the Elves.

After the match, the Assegai players celebrated by hoisting the Mythril Gauntlet, symbol of the Assegai-ESF rivalry that goes to the victor of their matches.

“We beat the Elves again. It doesn’t matter whether it’s in The YoungWorld or on NationStates, we proved once again that Assegai has the better football,” said Assegai Team Captain Riot after the match.


Match Summary

(22) http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/elves_security_forces.png Elves Security Forces 0
(34) http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/assegai_developments.png Assegai Developments 1

[ESF]
None

[AD]
Viktor Krum (75’)

Yellow Cards:
None

Red Cards:
None

Mikaela Eyre Reporting

FRIENDLY

World number 2 Jeruselem travel to emerging new nation St. Samuel....

Jeruselem 2

St. Samuel 1

Fernando Turek as yet another press conference:


Man #1: Coach, any news as to why the delay in qualifing?

Turek: Yes the dimensional bridge between "our reality" and that of Alasdair I Frosticus' reality is still being worked on. You know, decontamination chambers and the like. We have word that qualifing will begin in roughly 10 days.

Man #2: Coach any truth to the rumors that you'll be stepping down after this World Cup?

Turek: I answered that one before, NO. I am not leaving this job.

Woman #1: Coach, recently, a poll on QPSNFootball.com has you at a 39% approval rate, any ideas why the fans seem to not like you?

Turek: To be honest, i hav no idea why. The only thing i can think of is the memory of Reggie Hassok, Ox bless his soul, and the tremenous influence he had on this team.

Man #3: In the time off since the last friendly, over 2 weeks ago vs. Jeruselem, what have you and the team been working on? and is there one last freindly to be scheduled?

Turek: The team has been working on its defense, something that has been one of our weaknesses. As for another Freindly, I have been contacted by some teams, but due to current travel complications, we declined the invites. That's all for today, see you in a week.

Dazza does St Samuel

The new footballing nation of St Samuel's took centre stage today when it hosted Dazza's travelling Jeruselem team. Jeruselem's first friendly against Qazox in Qazox ended in defeat for Jeruselem 1-3 but this time Jeruselem did win - just. The rookie team put up a good fight going down 1-2 to Jeruselem who really should have won with a bigger scoreline. A very close scoreline considering the 2nd seed was playing an unranked team.

The coach Dazza Dallas otherwise known as The Village Bike, who also happens to be eating for two said
"We played badly, but we are playing friendies to find problems with the team before the real thing happens. The defense was a lot better than last time but we are still making silly errors which get bad punished if we played a team like Bettia. I do admit with Tunks getting injured, we miss his ability and we aren't scoring the same number of goals as we could. The current strikers are still working out who is supposed to do what as the new girls coming in are getting used to playing with and against male players. I must say our opponents played well despite their inexperience and showed if they just get better, then they can beat top 10 teams if they apply themselves. I did play the younger members later to see if they could break the game but all credit to our opponents. I know we aren't playing at 100% yet, but then winning if we play 50% is alright still. St Samuel lost but they did the their nation proud."

Dazza seemed rather popular with the local fans after the wind flapped her skirt around during the interview.

The scorers for Jeruselem were Debbie Dallas's daughter Hikfie Dallas and Brother Haven. Jeruselem wasted many chances to score, more frustated with themselves due to the tight St Samuel's defense who tried all day to close down the Jeruselem attack. Dinkie Dosha had many chances but was unable to finish them off.

FRIENDLY

World Cup 33 surprise package (and now 8th-ranked in the world) Demot and 22nd-ranked Elves Security Forces travel to the Holy Empire to play a neutral ground friendly in the Imperial Hippodrome. This is a preliminary test for the improved Portal technology to be used for travel from Ordinary Reality to the Dreamed Realm in WC34.

(RP details for the Imperial Hippodrome may be found at: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Alasdair_I_Frosticus#Architecture)

Demot 3

Elves Security Forces 1

"What do you mean we've got to play the bloody birds?"

"Calm down, Norman, it's just a friendly, to celebrate them winning the World Cup. And we can raise money for charity. It's just a bit of fun."

"I'm not happy. It's going to interrupt preparation. And we'll muller 'em anyway. Stupid nuns."

"It's not the nuns...it's, er, the Blue Tits...after all, they, er, are World Championship standard..."

***

It was a capacity crowd at the Warplands and most were supporting the Blue Tits. Norman Hacker was already riled at having to change colours as the women took champion's privilege and declared they did not need a change kit until they lost the World Title.

And he was fuming at the performance. The men seemed reluctant to get involved with serious tackling and were holding back. The midfield – in particular Dougall and Matsushita – seemed to have a degree of freedom that was denied to most of Wentland’s normal opponents.

After a number of near misses, the breakthrough finally happened in the 44th minute. Dougall went down the left, sent in a looping cross and Thalia Pellegrini met it with force to put the ladies one-nil up. The crowd erupted in joy and amusement – whereas if looks could kill Hacker would be doing thirty years.

***

“What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Relax, boss, it’s a friendly. We don’t want to hurt them.”

“It’s not just the poofiness, it’s the fact that when that tart scored you went and congratulated her!!”

“A sporting gesture.”

“Not when you’re bloody trying to Oliverry kiss her, you pervs! In that second half you are going to tear into them and you are going to win – otherwise you’re wearing bloody skirts in the World Cup.”

Suitably chastened, the Swifts in their new grey and red stripes were a bit more active in the second half and to the crowd’s disappointment the score was 2-1 by the hour mark. And as the Blue Tits tired – despite, to Hacker’s fury, being allowed more substitutions – a third was scored in time added on.

Hacker was pleased when the final whistle blew – honour restored – and he marched onto the pitch to congratulate his players. “That’s better…WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING NOW!!!!”

“Swapping shirts, boss. It’s traditional.”

“And phone numbers. Sally’s got an interest in my etchings.”

“I’ll give you bloody etchings!! Get into that dressing room…hang on, NOT THAT ONE…auugghhh.”

“YAYYY!!!! Mixed bathies!!!!”

*splash*

Ariddia defeats neighbour in friendly match

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png Ariddia 4-1 Ropa-Topia http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ropa-topia.png

Fielding the World Cup 34 team for the first time, Yves al Jahdali coached the Rouge-et-Noirs in a friendly encounter with fellow Uhuhlanders Ropa-Topia, at Darras Olympic Stadium. It was an opportunity for a new starting eleven to practice playing together, and al Jahdali also brought in four entirely new faces part way through the game. Spectators were thus given their first glimpse of Asul E’i, Ewa Shwuo, Jacques Clocher and Iol Et.

Xavier Xu, still goalkeeper, and now also the team’s captain, performed to his usual high standard, and, in a friendly atmosphere, the Rouge-et-Noirs pulled off a four-one victory over the combined Ropa-Topian team (which unites some of the best players from Uhuh-Topia and Uhuh-Ropa).

There are no particularly famous names among Ariddia’s attackers and midfielders now, but Lucas Arbustier scored twice, while Ie O and Sébastien Lescrit put in a goal each, contributing to a more than satisfying result.

Preparations for the final stages of the World Cup in Ariddia are, of course, not yet fully underway, but authorities say new hotels are being set up to handle the extra flow of visitors, and many citizens will be willing to provide short-term accomodation to foreigners. Various participating nations have expatriate communities living in Ariddia, and can expect significant levels of home support.

St Samuel took on the Worlds number 2, Jeruselem and in an exciting display saw St Samuel lose by two goals to one. St Samuel had to defend from the start and it was Hikfie Dallas who opened the scoring for Jeruselem on the 20th minute. Despite some good play by St Samuel they were unable to really penetrate the Jeruselem defence and their keeper was only called upon once to make a save.

St Samuel came out well in the second half and had a string of chances to score. But Jeruselem soon took charge of the game and saw attack after attack halted by stubborn defending. Against the run of play, St Samuel's Dexter St John latched onto a long ball over the Jeruselem defence and rounded the goal keeper to put the ball into the empty net on the 66th minute.

With the score line at 1-1 to some it looked as though St Samuel might take the lead but this was quickly stopped when Jeruselem barracked the St Samuel defence with some amazing football.

The World number 2's then finally re-took the lead with sparkling display of talent from Dallas who squared the ball to Brother Haven who then smashed the ball home to make it 2-1 on the 74th minute.

After Jeruselems second goal it looked as though St Samuel were going to get smashed, but some amazing goal keeping by Corinthian and some dissapointing finishing by Dinkie Dosha saw St Samuel ride the storm and earn a respectable score line.

St Samuel manager Louis Della Penzzi after the game said he was proud of his teams performance but commented that Jeruselem had a weakened team out and had there first 11 been playing the score line would have certainly been different.

Also of note is the news that Debbie Dallas shirts and posters, showing her bare bottom as the wind blew her skirt up after the match have been selling like hot cakes. One Samuelian street trader stated that he couldn't get enough of the Dallas items and had made a killing.

Also of note is the news that Debbie Dallas shirts and posters, showing her bare bottom as the wind blew her skirt up after the match have been selling like hot cakes. One Samuelian street trader stated that he couldn't get enough of the Dallas items and had made a killing.

OOC That's Dazza Dallas :p , Debbie Dallas is Dazza's sister who has two two daughters in team. Dazza has no daughters in the team.

Friendlies

First of all, world no. 51 Bostopia travels to no. 31-ranked Sel Appa

Sel Appa 3

Bostopia 1


Those busy Bostopians then travel home to take on the visitors from 22nd-ranked Elves Security Forces

Bostopia 2

Elves Security Forces 3

Elven Times
Friendlies Give Mixed Results

Despite finding themselves as ranked as one of the best teams in the World, and the bringing in of a visionary coach and the influx of tremoundous talent, the Marauders continue to show up and down performances in their pre-qualifying warm ups. The sqaud had scheduled three friendly matches before the tournament so they could get themselves accustomed to the new formation Soler has decided to implement, and try and work out the tendancies of their new teammates as they head into this monumential qualifying stage for the Marauders. Well already proving that they are a squad to be reckoned with on any given matchday, the national team is yearning for that final jump from a good team to that of an elite or great team that is expected to win just about every match they go into. This final push into the upper echilion can be achieved this tournament, but only if the squad finds that killer instinct that has been lacking up to this point in their expanding history in the World Cup, and make a daring run like their former colony of Demot did in the last tournament.

The first of the trio of friendlies was a familar foe for the Marauders, the Riskbreakers from Assegai. Detirimined to atone for their lack of a competitive win against their staunch rivals in a elongated period, a visit to the Hatire Memorial seemed the perfect set up for the reclaiming of the Mythril Gauntlet. The squad was fairly confident going into the fray that they would come out on top, even when their manager informed them and the press beforehand that they would make full use of their subs to get some of the reserves into proper game speed form if they are to be needed during the upcoming qualifiers. Well, the squad played an excellent possessive and attacking game, but EPL star Yoshida for Assegai made clutch stop after clutch stop on the exuberent strikers. Able to effectively shut down the starting striking partners, the backline eased up a tad when Snape, Neesa, and Losstarot were subbed out in favor of lesser known backs ups. However, these backups would create a deft little play that freed Krum for a magnificent oppurtunity alone on St. Louis that he converted splendidly. Yoshida would close out the game with a gravity defying save on a Rikard shot that seemed destined for the high corner opposite of Yoshida.

Captain Justinian Constant had these words to say when he was questioned about some unsportmanlike remarks made by Ashley Riot, the Assegain captain.
"You know, he makes it seem as if they have never lost to us, and makes it seem like they just hold this supieriority complex on us. Yet he refused to make notice that it is the Marauders who lead the all time seris with a seven win, five draws, and five loss record against them. If you want to celebrate your win over an oppenent with a public announcement, that's perfectly fine. But when you start boasting supierority, you better have your facts straight and show some respect to your oppisition."

Next up in the training sessions was another face familar with football fanatics in the ESF, former colony Demot, otherwize known as the Dynamo. In a strange twist of fate, it would be Demot who had entered the World Cup scene a whole tournament after the ESF debut who would be the higher ranked squad entering this competition. What makes this quite strange is the fact that the Demotians did not play football competitively or have a league until a group of elven investors created the Demot Pride League and built their first football academy in Mirria. Taking this circumstance in stride, Soler sent out a mixed squad of starters and reserves to take on the attack prone Demotians in the nuetral site of the marvelously constructed Hippodome in the Holy Empire. Each team consented to this venue as part of an expirement on improved Portal technology for travel between the Ordinary reality and their Dreamed Realm. Each squad was astounded at the beauty of the stadium and will be looking to play within its' walls once again in the Proper. In the end, the mixed squad showed some flashes of meshing, but the lack of organization with the new formation lead directly to all three of the Demot goals, and the squad was beginning to hear it from some of the skeptics.

Finally, an away match with Bostopia was set to round out the training resume, and hopefully it would provide a lasting impression of the hope for good things ahead for the Marauders and the Navy Wave. Kiso Night, who was quite frustrated in only having one shot in the two previous contests combined, came out early looking to make a difference, and was the reciepent of some hard work by Jannian and Constant on the right side, getting a great cross from Jere, and calmly took it down, before sending in a quick shot that grazed the tips of the keepers hands and inside of the post on its' way into the netting. Jannian would be quick to add onto his point tally, as he converted a majestic free kick from twenty-four yards out, just a day after Soler had named him the free kick and corner taker for the Marauders, with Kyla Night being named the penalty taker. The lass was not one to be kept in the shadow of her son and teammates for long, and was able to put the Marauders three-nil up heading into the half, when Kries sent in a long ball to start the counter attack, that Raynor one touched to his partner who sent it in low and hard. At the half, the strikers and center mids were subbed out for their reserves, and were able to hold onto the win, but did allow two goals with their time on the pitch.

While the squad showed good signed in all of the matches, their inconsistentancy in getting positive results on the scoreboard is concerning for the team. A fix in the constant, steady play of the squad as a whole needs to be corrected in this last week of training before the qualifying begins if the squad is to do as well as they are expecting, and continue on their drive to build up a repuatation as a premier footballing program and country in the entire world, or spectrum of reality depending upon a countries' circumstance.

Article by Luna Santapa

OLHO NO LANCE! - Your Football Magazine!
Short Match Report made by Sílvio Ruiz

http://img.terra.com.br/i/2007/04/03/487186-9546-ga.jpg
The new coach, David Nefasto, had the first chance to test the squad

After choosing the 23 players that will build Cafundéu's team for the World Cup 34 qualifiers, the coach David Nefasto had the first chance to test the strength of the team in a friendly game against St Samuel, played in the host country of Ariddia. The game was not shown on television, as the final of the Second Division of the National League was being played (and broadcasted).

Using a basic 4-4-2 formation and mixing starter and reserve players in the team, Nefasto's team was offensive and strong, but didn't have the same counterattack strength that the previous teams of Cafundéu had. Instead of it, the team is better defensively, but still didn't get the confidence of the supporters and of the press (including me).

The team had some good chances to score in the first minutes of the game, but the goal only happened in the twenty-first minute of the game. Dário controlled the ball in the midfield and made an excellent pass for Ray Kirs, who ran to get the ball in the left wing. He invaded the area and shot, giving no chances for Corinthian.

After the goal, Cafundéu lost some of the ball possession, and St Samuel grew on the game. After some good attacks of the opponents, the monopolists seemed to retake the control of the game, but in the thirty-eighth minute, Batista invaded the area and was fouled by Covas. Penalty. Batista took it and scored the goal.

Nefasto made many changes in the team for the second half, but the strategy was the same. Intelligent attacks, but not too strong, and good defensive work, which hold St Samuel's attacks and avoid suffering another goal. In the tenth minute, the second goal. Léo Mattos crossed the ball to the area and Dário hit it with a volley to score the second goal of the game.

After the second goal, all that Cafundéu did was to defend, and try to counterattack, an effective weapon in the last official competitions. But this time it didn't have much effect. The defense was excellent, stopping St Samuel, but many counterattack chances were missed, and the final result was 2x1.

Nefasto made his comments about the game: "A good test for us. I know that the team isn't perfect, but in this game I could see our strengths and weaknesses, and we can focus on some things on our trainings now. St Samuel is a good opponent, and we had to work hard to beat them. I think that we can do a good work in the qualifiers."

http://img.terra.com.br/i/2007/03/18/480050-0196-ga.jpg
Ray Kirs scores the first goal of the game

CAFUNDÉU 2x1 ST SAMUEL

Place: Stade National Rêvane-Sud, in Ariddia.
Attendance: 63,400 people.
Referee: Joseph Magrak (Jeruselem).
Man of the Match: Dário (Cafundéu).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Júnior, Covas (Léo Mattos 45'), Kirs, Becão (Alemão 62') and Namarra (Sávio Ferrari 80'); Anormal, Dário, Falcus (Barbosa 45') and Kliek (Gaúcho 75'); Heitor (Renário 45') and Ijak (Kemp 75').
Coach: David Nefasto.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/st_samuel.png ST SAMUEL: Corinthian, Rock (Mantrapauli 60'), Monte-Pellaino, Le Ricco (Xinto 45') and Zaggi; Sensini, De Villion (Persarddi 60'), Bezzi-Louaza (Louardi 45') and Batista; St John (De Sicci 74') and Mazzeranni.
Coach: Louis Della Penzzi

Goals:CAF: Ray Kirs 21' , Dário 55'.
STS: Barbosa 38'.

Judge rules "Cafendeu" an acceptable spelling

Provincial Magistrate Nir Kathik said in a one paragraph ruling that Cafendeu may be used in Sel Appa, in addition to the actual spelling Cafundeu.

Because of the proliferation and common usage of the spelling Cafendeu, it is considered an acceptable spelling in Sel Appa. While not on purpose, the names of foreign countries may be naturally modified when used here in Sel Appa. Therefore, the spelling Cafendeu has been found to be the correct and dominant Sel Appan spelling. Sel Appan English has no authority governing its usage and is free to be modified as needed, within reason. Any disputes can be settled in court as has been done here. Finally, both Cafendeu or Cafundeu, with or without the accent mark, are acceptable for usage in Sel Appa.

A poll shows that 82% of Sel Appan's use or would us the spelling Cafendeu. An actual analysis of printed works shows that 70% of the time, Cafendeu is used. Maps generally show "Cafendeu (Cafundéu)".

Jeruselem Government News

Football fest for locals ends!

The teams from Wentland and Sel Appa came to Jeruselem to take part in 3 nation friendly tournament. The all-male Wentland team took the honours winning with Jeruselem 2nd and Sel Appa a distant third. Wentland and Jeruselem did not lose a single game at all with poor old Sel Appa copping the biggest loss when the Crusaders thumped them FOUR NIL. In the end Sel Appa's only point was a draw. Many people were concerned when Jeruselem only won one game and the rest being draws when they should have won all games at home. While the Wentland team seemed settled, the Jeruselem coach Dazza Dallas said she was happy with preparation.

Her focus for the four games was to ensure the defenses held and finding a combination which would allow the team go forward with a minimal defensive effort. She said the Jeruselem attack wasn't really sharp enough after losing senior strikers from last world cup but after the tournament, the team were ready to make the effort.

She also said Wentland should make 2nd round of the World Cup on current results from friendlies, but Sel Appa needed to find a way to score goals after scoring 2 goals in four games. She was also puzzled why the current Jeruselem team which looks like the Women's World Cup team could handle the Wentland men's team better than it's women's team, but wasn't complaining too much.

Visiting male Sel Appans and Wentlanders received free copies of the new Dazza and Moany World Cup Calendar for the efforts to visit the Holy Land. This included the team staff and players too. That's the current Jeruselem coach and captain nude - only in Jeruselem! Oh, it's on sale now too. It was reported Dazza took both the Sel Appan and Wentland coaches to lunch with her for a friendly yap yap at Jeruselem's top restaruant. The guests didn't have to pay, Dazza gave them some gifts from her Razza Dazza store for their female partners.

The people of Jeruselem were happy to host this mini-tournament, the only trouble being local extremists calling the visitors to go home but local security forces rounded them up and stopped any further problems.


Team 1 Team 2 Result
Jeruselem Sel Appa 1-1
Jeruselem Wentland 2-2
Sel Appa Wentland 1-2
Sel Appa Jeruselem 0-4
Wentland Jeruselem 0-0
Wentland Sel Appa 2-0

Team W-D-L Points Position
Wentland 2-2-0 8 1st
Jeruselem 1-3-0 6 2nd
Sel Appa 0-1-3 1 3rd

Az-cz Scroll
Jux-Jnz
Editorial Board

Sel Appan judge declares misspelling ok; Sel Appan image declines

As if to make a declaration to the world of their questionable intelligence Sel Appa has decided that it's acceptable to misspell Cafundeu as Cafendeu.

While we understand the precedent for this decision in that in the past many nations had a history of altering the names of foreign places to make the names easier to understand. However this one done in a much less global age when the transmission of information was more difficult and there was much less cross-cultural understanding. We'd also understand it if the name Cafundeu was written in a character set different than the one Sel Appa uses. However that is not the case, except for one accent mark, which can be reasonably dropped. However changing a "u" a letter that Sel Appans have for an "e" makes no sense. That would be as bad as capitalizing the "c" in Az-cz or referring to Vilita as Vitla, a gaffe that Cuation was widely mocked for during World Cup 31.

This decision is a clearly mind boggling one and we wonder why Sel Appans decided to damage their international reputation to appease the stupidity of some of it's citizens. We've enjoyed our footballing matches with Sel Appa and hate to see them drag themselves through the mud like this. Therefore we strongly encourage them to reconsider their position unless they enjoy being a world laughing stock.

"What do you mean we've got to play AGAIN????"

"It's two games against each opponent, Norman...just cos we've got 4 from 2 does not mean that we've won the tournament."

"ARRGGHH!!! I don't want any injuries..."

For the return game against Jeruselem Hacker therefore went even more defensive than normal, playing a 6-3-1 and totally stifled the game. The Jeruselem crowd jeered the completely unambitious Swifts and applauded the home side off, despite their failure to break through the solid royal blue wall.

But with Jeruselem's destruction of Sel Appa, it meant nothing short of victory was required in the final match against Sel Appa. It was in this that Norman Hacker's genius was confirmed. He had gambled on being able to beat the one team Wentland had previously beaten - and the gamble paid off, despite a frustrating match with both teams loathe to commit whole-heartedly to attack. Fortunately for Wentland Sel Appa were having difficulty in finishing the few chances they obtained and when Frankie Treves was brought on two incisive passes from him found Andy Saint both times, who made no mistakes.

For the first time in their footballing history, Wentland had actually won something. And the team went into the World Cup qualifying campaign on a high.

***

"And what do you think you're doing with that?"

"No WAY are you bringing that thing back."

"That's disgusting...it's barely legal..."

The women's World Cup team had been giving moral support - and other things - to the men's team, but not all of them were entirely happy with the gifts provided by the Jeruselem hosts. "If you bring that back you can forget about us" was a not uncommon comment. And whereas the likes of Joe Weston were happily married, Graham Clay and Nick Starkey were just getting going with the likes of Sally Summers and Nella Horner...

Meanwhile Norman Hacker's face was glowing as red as his hair at the commemorative dinner, when presented with the various commemorative presents from Dazza Dallas. They made the Wentland pennant look a little limp. Although "limp" was the last thing Hacker was feeling when Dazza uncorked his bottle.

Fort Boston, Fort Boston (State)

[Griffis] And we can cross to a feed from the Isles Parliament now, where Emperor Boston is making a law as we speak.

The Lords Chamber, Isles Parliament, Bostopia

Emperor Boston is sat at a desk, scrawling on a piece of paper, while Lords, Dames and other assorted nobility (including many members of the Royal Family) look on rather proud at this show of Imperial power.

[Boston] Ahah! Finished! Right! And I quote: "This law, approved and written by the Imperial House of Bostopia decrees that the spelling of 'Sel Appa' shall be legal if spelt 'Celery Nappa', and no harm or threat of action, be it by force or otherwise, shall come to any person within the Empire and these Confederate Isles upon use of this spelling."

Emperor Boston stood up, folded the paper in half, and put it in an envelope addressed to himself. He then opened the envelope, looked over the act, made a sound of approval, and stamped it with a seal, making the act law.

He walked out of the Isles Parliament building, and was met by Greg Griffis.

[Boston] Weren't you in the studio just five minutes ago?

[Griffis] Yes I was, but, urr, the studio's only across the road.

[Boston] So it is...no Kelly?

[Griffis] No, she's flying out to Bazalonia to cover the match.

[Boston] Oh, ok.

[Griffis] Emperor, why did you just make that law?

[Boston] Well, look. Cafundéu is a pretty cool nation. And I know that different countries spell other countries differently...when they're in foreign languages. People in Oliverry would refer to us as "Bostopie", or more formally "les États confédérés de Bostopie", or, people in other nations, "der Konföderierte Bostopische Staaten". There's...wait...Sel Appa could claim Cafundéu is spelt Cafendeu in Sel Appa. Damn!

[Griffis] Has your attempt to have a laugh at Sel Appa just backfired, Emperor?

[Boston] Shut. Up. Greg.

[Griffis] So you'll be repealing the law?

[Boston] No, the Sel Appa (Spelling of) Act 2007 will remain in place. Now push off.

Finn: (looking at a calendar) Are these digitally altered Dazza?
Dazza: No darling, you should know that.
Finn: Just checking. These are barely legal How's the sales?
Dazza: Doing well in Az-cz!

Finn: I heard you make that Normal Hacker from Wentland look silly.
Dazza: We are only having lunch, I didn't exactly pole dance or something like that.
Finn: You make strong and tough men go weak, so I'm not surprised.
Dazza: I'm the Goddess of Love! You should know that.

<knock on the door>

Finn: I think that's your sister.
Dazza: (opening the door) Hey sis.
Debbie: If it isn't Miss Nudey. So, how are things.
Finn: Dazza's pushing the boundries of decency as usual.

Rashina: Eh, nice calendar.
Dazza: Thanks, let's have lunch.
Debbie: Good idea, Dazza you cook.
Rashina: Your cooking isn't that bad Mum.

Debbie: Dazza is the better cook no matter what I try.
Dazza: Come on Finn, let's get bitching in the kitchin.
Rashina: That's cooking right?
Finn: Yes

(later after lunch)

Rashina: Nice salad, great olives you got.
Dazza: All organic, none of that supermarket rubbish.
Debbie: No wonder you look so good for your age.
Finn: So Rashina, ready for the cup?

Rashina: Oh yes, time out from the army is a good thing once in a while.
Dazza: How is Rocky?
Rashina: Despite me being me, he's good. He likes the calendar too.
Dazza: Well, you gotta flaunt before you lose it.

Debbie: How to do get rid of those spots off your skin. Look at mine?
Dazza: Use Fillotone once a day.
Rashina: That weird pinky cream?
Dazza: Conditioner and moisteriser all-in-one cream.

Debbie: I'll try it. I'm feel old when I stand next to you on TV.
Dazza: That's harsh, you look good sis.
Debbie: Too much time in the sun when I was young as you know.
Rashina: I want some too Dazza.

Debbie: How is Kate going at school. I heard she's formed a small group of smart school friends.
Dazza: She's a smart arse just like her mother, and topping classes too.
Rashina: And the fashion trend setter too
Dazza: Always raiding my old clothes for ideas.

Finn: I think it's the year of petticoat currently.
Rashina: Why did you want to marry, this whore?
Finn: I don't really know, it was just one of those things.
Debbie: Too late to change your mind now, Finn.

Finn: Someone's gotta marry Dazza, it's might as well be me.

QSPNFootball.com Report
Well the first ever Continuum Challenge Cup in Sativaville ended just as we thought, with Our Black Oxen trampling the competition.

The first match pitted the Hosts, The Stoners vs. The Black Oxen and for a half, Sativaville kept it close, but goals by Jonathon Sarafin in the 56th and 72nd minutes gave Qazox 3 points.

The second match pitted The Black Oxen vs. Green wombat, and unlike the 1t match, this was not as close as it seems. Qazox won 4-1, but lead 4-0 at half due to goals by: Sarafin (14'), Regina Reginald in the 24' and 37', and a surprising goal by Juan Won One who scored on a penalty kick given in injury time 46+'. But a goal late in the match by Green Wombat's Billie Mofield in the 73rd made the match closer than it appeared.

The final match pitted Green wombat vs. Sativaville and they drew 2-2. Billie Mofield scored twice for GW while Sativaville's ageless Emil Timmermann added two of his own.


Continuum Challenge in Sativaville:

Game 1: Sativaville 0-Qazox 2
Game 2: Qazox 4-Green Wombat 1
Game 3: Sativaville 2-Green Wombat 2

W-D-L F-A GD PTS
QAZ 2-0-0 6-1 +5 6
SAT 0-1-1 2-4 -2 1
GWB 0-1-1 3-6 -3 1