NationStates Jolt Archive

Once again it is time for the TOUR de QAZOX. If you are interested take look:

Please sign up below with the following provisions:

1- Maximum of four riders per country. (that's right I'm bumping it up to 4)

2- Each rider will be graded in the following catergories:
Climbing (the higher the number, the better climber you are)
Sprint (the higher the number, the better in time-trials and finishes you are)
Speed (the higher the number, the better in the flat stages and overall time)
Endurance (the higher the number, the less likely to be injured or wear out on the longer stages)
**New this year** Teamwork- (The better the number, the better your team works together.)

3-Each rider will have 30 points to be placed in each of the 4 catergories, with a maximum of 10 allowed in each. For each Team a maximum of 5 points, and a mininum of 1 can be applied. A team must have at least 2 riders for the Teamwork catergory to be applied.

4- IF you are returning any riders from the 1st three TOURS de QAZOX, you will be allowed to add ONE EXTRA point to any ONE CATERGORY (for a maximum of 31 allocated points. Please note that I do have the Ratings from the 1st three, so no cheating (i.e no 11 points for speed.) You will be allowed to re-allocate the points for returning riders as well if you want to.

examples:
RIDER A
Climbing- 10
Sprint- 4
Speed- 6
Endurance- 10
This type of racer will be one of the better riders in the mountains
and longer stages, but worse during the flat stages and time-trials.

RIDER B
Climbing-5
Sprint- 10
Speed- 10
Endurance- 5
This type of racer will be one of the weaker riders in the mountains
and the long stages, but great during the shorter stages and time-trials.

RIDER C
Climbing-8
Sprint- 7
Speed- 8
Endurance- 7

This racer will do well in most stages, but probably won't win any stages.

The Teamwork catergory will influence three things. 1st- in Team and individual time trials, a team with a 5 in this catergory will have their riders finish with a better time/ closer times than a team with a 1. 2nd- It will have an impact on the stages, for better or worse, depending on your team's strength (the highest Catergory). 3rd- it will separate the times up a bit, making the TOUR a bit more realistic in terms of teams protecting the Blue Jersey for example.



There will be a Blue Jersey for the overall leader, a Green Jersey for the best sprinter and a Red Jersey for the best climber.
**Also New this Year** An PURPLE Jersey for the BEST RIDER leader. In each Stage, the Top 10 finishers will receive a point bonus. 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 for 1st through 10th (ties will split the points as evenly as possible) The rider with the most points at the end of the TOUR will win the RIDER of the Year trophy.


Signups start now and will close on March 31st (usually I'd have 10 days, but need the extra time to make sure the new catergory doesn't completly throw the times out of whack ie: a rider winning a stage by 7 minutes or a rider finishing 35 minutes back in a stage)

Jeruselem is sending three female riders

Kylie Kool
Climbing- 9
Sprint- 5
Speed- 7
Endurance- 10
Teamwork - 5

Trained by Ricky Pointy Stick, the daughter of Rachel Kool is taking over as new pointy stick of the cycling world. She's just a good looking as her football loving Mum and smart as her father Harry Kool. Still young and learning but she's got the best training her. Team leader and team girl.

Kez Mofa
Climbing- 7
Sprint- 8
Speed- 8
Endurance- 8
Teamwork-4

An all-rounder who prides herself on being drug free. Vegetarian and she is very fit. Main weakness is she can't sprint at high levels like real sprinters due to her diet but she does not give up. "Death or dishonuour" is her motto. Her father died climbing a mountain but she's not one to shirk a challenge. Really only here to help the team not actually win.

Annabelle Dosha [NEW]

Climbing- 5
Sprint- 10
Speed- 10
Endurance- 5
Teamwork-1

The pure sprinter of the team, sister of football player Dinkie Dosha. Unlike her Dazza-like sister, keeps quiet and shuns the spotlight. Lone wolf really not a team player.

Qaz, could you post the QUakmybush riders in here. I cant member their stats.

While cycling has never really taken off in our fair nation - honestly, have you tried cycling through a foot of snow? - three members of the Bourque Tho Fan school expressed an intent to compete as part of their fifth degree training and are accompanied by a senior member. Profiles are below.

Ray Hedler (Age 26, eight-year student of Tho Fan)
A man with remarkable endurance, Ray is well-known among the nation for breaking a pair of long-standing weightlifting records; the Solheim Lift, in which the lifter must maintain a squat position while holding a barbell at arm's length in front of them, was created by Annie Solheim in reponse to her husband's complaint (famous weightlifter and gridiron player Ted Solheim) that the normal lifts were too easy. Ted held both the records for heaviest lift - holding a weight of 315 lbs at arm's length for 20 seconds - and longest lift - keeping a 175 lb weight up for 2:12 before straightening out of the squat. Ray is exceptionally strong considering his wiry frame, with a degree of leg strength to complement his upper body power.

Climbing - 9
Sprint - 3
Speed - 8
Endurance - 10
Teamwork - 4

Marco Paul (Age 37, nineteen-year student of Tho Fan)
The daisho of the Bourque school, Marco is the second most senior student at the school - an eighth-degree student - and an avid biker himself, having travelled across much of the Alliance with his custom-made Thrasher bike, and jumped at the chance to represent the nation in the Tour De Qazox. His fighting style is based on his speed, and he retains his quickness on the bike, being best on flatter sections. He has problems with keeping his pace up as he grows older, but this shortfall is covered by the presence of his son, Jay.

Climbing - 6
Sprint - 10
Speed - 10
Endurance - 4
Teamwork - 4

Jay Paul (Age 17, twelve-year student of Tho Fan)
Having been brought up with the art, Jay is a prime physical specimen who, aside from Tho Fan and cycling, plays gridiron football at his secondary school and is hoping to be drafted when he turns 21. He plays at both cornerback and wide receiver positions for his school team and, while his footwork has caused problems, his speed and hands are solid. He's not great at the sprint sections, preferring to save his energy for the mountains where he can put his speed and climbing ability into good use.

Climbing - 7
Sprint - 9
Speed - 7
Endurance - 6
Teamwork - 4

Rochelle Carle (Age 24, four-year student of Tho Fan, nine-year student of Brazilian Jiu-jitsu)
The first woman ever to reach the fifth-degree level, Rochelle has attracted a lot of attention from the media despite her young age after she made a comment in Fight! Magazine about wanting to join the INSPIRE Project at some point in the future [OOC: INSPIRE is a fighting organisation not dissimilar to the UFC]. Her studies in Tho Fan have been augmented with a purple belt in BJJ, and she's also said she wants to return and earn her red belt soon. This versatility is also reflected in her cycling abilities - while she's not a team player, per se, she has no other weaknesses and maintains a high level of ability in all fields.

Climbing - 7
Sprint - 7
Speed - 9
Endurance - 7
Teamwork - 4

Cafundéu's official team:

Bernardo Petkovic, 19 years old. Competed in many fast competitions for riders, so he will have difficuties in the mountain stages, but can be good in the fast stages.

Climbing - 3
Sprint - 10
Speed -10
Endurance - 8

Teamwork - 4

Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso, 24 years old, son of the famous actor of Cafundéu Estive Formoso, Godofredo is a good rider, but wants to become an actor soon, as his father.

Climbing - 10
Sprint - 4
Speed - 8
Endurance - 9

Teamwork - 3

Fernanda Paulistana, 21 years old, a rich woman who likes to ride sometimes. She has a great talent and can be useful in the short and fast stages. She also will try to buy everything that she wants in each city.

Climbing - 9
Sprint - 9
Speed - 10
Endurance - 2

Teamwork - 2

Ricardo Martínez, 30 years old, a very experienced rider who decided to help the younger riders in this competition. He is very intelligent and good at tough stages, with lots of mountains.

Climbing - 10
Sprint - 3
Speed - 7
Endurance - 10

Teamwork - 5

Random Toast would like to enter the 4th TOUR de QAZOX.
This will be our teams 2nd tour.


Random Toast Riders:
Chris van Stone - Age 25, Chris is looking forward to his 2nd tour de Qazok and is of course bringing his trustee burger van with him.
Climbing- 8
Sprint- 7
Speed- 6
Endurance- 10
Teamwork - 4

Toaster Smith - Age 30, Ranked number one cyclist in Random Toast. Winner of the 3rd Tour de Qazok.
Climbing-10
Sprint- 4
Speed- 7
Endurance- 10
Teamwork - 2

Elly Bean - Age 22, Sprint Champion of the 3rd Tour de Qazok.
Climbing-7
Sprint- 10
Speed- 10
Endurance- 4
Teamwork - 3

Qaz, could you post the QUakmybush riders in here. I cant member their stats.

No Problem.. seeing as I've done it the last 2 times as well.. :p

Team Qazox once again will try to prevent the TOUR from being won by a foreigner, but will 3 straight years of dissapointments finally cause the team to crack??

Alan O'Neill, 29 yrs old, Joehio. Finished 6th last year, his best finish in 5years. Still a threat in the mountains, but a knee injury 5 months ago has slowed him down a bit.
Climbing- 9
Sprint- 6
Speed- 7
Endurance- 9
Teamwork- 3

Jeff Holl, 24 yrs old, Finished 29th last year, has vowed to crack top 15 this time around. Has worked on his overall, but still is a sprint threat.
Climbing- 6
Sprint- 9
Speed- 8
Endurance- 8
Teamwork- 3

Frank Refth, 25 yrs old, Fromburg. Finished 14th last year. Wants to become 2nd person to win both the Qazoxian Ironman and the TOUR, following Kyle Cartman.
Climbing- 8
Sprint- 8
Speed- 6
Endurance- 9
Teamwork- 3

Julie Renfro- 22yrs old, Rockport. This young lady, inspired by the story and tragic death of Veronica Forrester, lost 75 lbs and has become an inspirational speaker. A decent sprinter, but still needs to work on the endurance.

Climbing- 6
Sprint- 10
Speed- 10
Endurance- 4
Teamwork- 3

Team POTHEAD from Sativaville is back and looks to improve on its not-so stellar debut.


Darrin McBride, Age 25. Last Year's finish: 23rd

END: 8
SPD: 9
SPR: 8
CLM: 6
Team: 4

Kevin Storm, Age 26. Last Year's Finish: 14th

END: 7
SPD: 7
SPR: 7
CLM: 10
Team: 4

Jahine Rex, Age 23. Finished 23rd at Qazoxian Triathalon in 1916, 4th female to finish.

END: 9
SPD: 7
SPR: 7
CLM: 7
Team: 4

Erica Ericssen, Age 18. Youngest ever Sprint Champion at Sativaville games.

END: 7
SPD: 10
SPR: 9
CLM: 4
Team: 4

For Quak.. who has forgotten his riders...lol

Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov

Climbing 10
Sprint 7
Speed 7
Endurance 7
Team- 3

Sepp Neitemeier
Clim 7
Spr 10
Spe 7
End 7
Team- 3

Lance Legstrong
Climb 7
Spr 7
Spe 10
End 7
Team 3

GREEN WOMBAT IS BACK AND THIS TIME THE TITLE WILL BE MINE ONCE AGAIN!!!

Johnnie Steele, Aged 27, Team Leader after the Retirement of Henry Critten, finished 7th last year and 3rd 2 years ago. Has trained almost non-stop and will be a favorite to win the TOUR.
Speed- 9
Climb- 9
Sprint- 4
Endurance- 9
Team- 2

Charles Eckert, 22 years old, finished 32nd last time out, has been training with Johnnie Steele and expects a top 20 finish this time around.
Speed- 8
Climb- 8
Sprint- 8
Endurance- 7
Team- 3

Lori Steele, 21 years old, Wife of Johnnie, marking 1st time that a husband and wife has competed on the TOUR. Not a great overall rider, but is one of the fastest on two wheels.

Speed- 10
Climb- 4
Sprint- 10
Endurance- 6
Team- 3

Widget- Age?? This mysterious stranger, calling his/herself Widget has joined the team and is pretty decent overall. Some suspect Widget maybe a robot, but so far no-one has dared to try to find out.

Speed- 7
Climb- 7
Sprint- 7
Endurance- 9
Team- 3

CURRENT RIDER LIST: (New Riders are in Orange).

QAZOX- (4)
Alan O'Neill; Jeff Holl; Frank Refth; Julie Renfro

JERUSELEM- (3)
Kylie Kool; Kez Mofa; Annabelle Dosha

MCPSYCHOVILLE- (4)
Ray Hedler; Marco Paul; Jay Paul; Rochelle Carle

CAFUNDEU- (3)
Bernardo Petkovic; Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso; Fernanda Paulistana

RANDOM TOAST- (3)
Chris van Stone; Toaster Smith (DEF. CHAMP); Elly Bean

SATIVAVILLE- (4)
Darrin McBride; Kevin Storm; Jahine Rex; Erica Ericssen

QUAKMYBUSH- (3)
Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov; Sepp Neitemeier; Lance Legstrong

GREEN WOMBAT- (4)
Johnnie Steele; Charles Eckert; Lori Steele; Widget


So Far: 8 countries and 28 riders have signed up.

Team SPI RACING:

Jeremy Davidson (Age 23, Jersey 49)
CLI: 10
SPR: 5
SPD: 6
END: 9
TEAM: 3

Andrew Buchanan (Age 26, Jersey 50)
CLI: 4
SPR: 10
SPD: 10
END: 6
TEAM: 4

Steven Mitchell (Age 21, Jersey 51)
CLI: 6
SPR: 9
SPD: 7
END: 8
TEAM: 5

Nicky Williams (Age 28, Jersey 52)
CLI: 8
SPR: 6
SPD: 8
END: 8
TEAM: 5

LOVISA TEAM (LOV)

PEDRO ALACOA
Climbing- 8
Sprint- 6
Speed- 6
Endurance- 10
Teamwork - 4

BASTIAN SCHLAGER
Climbing-6
Sprint- 8
Speed- 10
Endurance- 6
Teamwork - 4

SEBASTIEN BRUEL
Climbing-8
Sprint- 7
Speed- 8
Endurance- 7
Teamwork - 4

MATIJAS SAKALSKIJ
Climbing-7
Sprint- 8
Speed- 7
Endurance- 8
Teamwork - 4

Qazox, I've made changes in my team. Please see them in my original post.

Thanks

Newly updated list:

CURRENT RIDER LIST: (New Riders are in Orange).

QAZOX- (4)
Alan O'Neill; Jeff Holl; Frank Refth; Julie Renfro

JERUSELEM- (3)
Kylie Kool; Kez Mofa; Annabelle Dosha

MCPSYCHOVILLE- (4)
Ray Hedler; Marco Paul; Jay Paul; Rochelle Carle

CAFUNDEU- (4)
Bernardo Petkovic; Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso; Fernanda Paulistana; Ricardo Martínez

RANDOM TOAST- (3)
Chris van Stone; Toaster Smith (DEF. CHAMP); Elly Bean

SATIVAVILLE- (4)
Darrin McBride; Kevin Storm; Jahine Rex; Erica Ericssen

QUAKMYBUSH- (3)
Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov; Sepp Neitemeier; Lance Legstrong

GREEN WOMBAT- (4)
Johnnie Steele; Charles Eckert; Lori Steele; Widget

ST. PAUL'S ISLE- (4)
Jeremy Davidson; Andrew Buchanan; Steven Mitchell; Nicky Williams

LOVISA- (4)
Pedro Alacoa; Bastian Schlager; Sebastien Bruel; Matijas Sakalskij



So Far: 10 countries and 37 riders have signed up. 10 of which are women breaking old record of 4 last time around.

The TOUR Comittee has released the schedule for this Year's Tour. It just happens to be the same as the 1914 Tour, but with a couple of stages switched around.

Day 1 Prologue: Kyolva, Qazox to Lake Porter City Distance 35.8 miles. A quick trip up the Porter River valley.

Day 2 Stage 1: Lake Porter City, Qazox to Lake Porter City Distance: 171.9 miles. One lap around Lake Porter, will be one of the tougher stages

Day 3 Stage 2: Lake Porter City to Freetown, Qazox. Distance: 102.9 miles Mostly flat with a 3900 ft climb up towards the finish covering the last 16 miles.

Day 4 Stage 3: Freetown to Graverville. Distance: 151.3 miles. One of the longer stages, mostly flat with a 2500 ft climb from mile 52 to mile 56 followed by slow decent from mile 60 to mile 80.

Day 5 Stage 4: Graverville to Joehio. Distance: 106.2 miles. Beginning of mountain stages, Climb from 2300 ft at start to 8000 ft just before finish.

DAY 6: REST DAY

Day 7 Stage 5: Joehio to New Bruxen. Distance: 75 miles. The shortest stage but a very difficult stage. as riders climb Mt. Carlo. Stage starts at 8200 ft and ends at 13,000 ft.

Day 8 Stage 6: New Bruxen to Monteverde. Distance: 89.3 miles. Mountain stages continue with the most difficult stage. Starting at 13,000 ft, the first 20 miles drop to 7400ft, then last 60 miles climb back up to 11,900 ft.

Day 9 Stage 7: Monteverde to San Guano. Distance: 100.7 miles.
Final mountain stage as riders drop from 11,900 ft to 2400 by the finish line.

Day 10: TRAVEL DAY (from San Guano to Kibbutz)

Day 11 Stage 8: Team time trial: Kibbutz to Saint Nash. Distance: 54.8 miles.
Short and fast stage on mostly flat terrain, with small hills at miles 34 and 48 rising up to 2000 ft.

Day 12 Stage 9: Saint Nash to Saxervilla. Distance: 183 miles. The longest stage of which strong endurance will be a key as temperatures may rise into the mid 70's during midday.

Day 13 Stage 10: Saxervilla to Rockport: Distance: 119.8 miles. Coastal breezes along the shoreline may trick riders into relaxing, but a 2000 ft climb just before the end of the stage will test all.

Day 14 Stage 11: Rockport to Bruxen: Distance: 90.6 miles. The coastal stages continue with a ride trought the scenic wine country of Bruxen. Small hills dominate the course, but none climb higher than 750 ft.

Day 15: Stage 12: Individual Time Trial: Bruxen, Qazox to Cuex City, Poolshrimpers. Distance: 80 miles. Same as the prologue, flat and fast roads. chance for some sprinters to make up time lost in the mountains.

Day 16 Stage 13: Cuex City, Pool Shrimpers to Lorax City, Qazox. 100 miles (160 km) Almost a mountain stage as teams climb from sea level at the start to 6200 ft at stage end.

Day 17 Stage 14: Lorax City to Pika City, Qazox Distance: 166 miles Another long stage as riders will welcome the break tommorrow.

Day 18: TRAVEL DAY (Pika City to Las Vitas)

Day 19 Stage 15: Las Vitas to Carlovia Distance: 87.5 miles Last chance as riders near Qazox City, Hilly terrain, going from 2300 ft at the start to 4000 ft at mile 32, back down to 1300 ft by mile 80.

Day 20 Stage 16: TEAM TIME TRIAL Carlovia to Carlovia, Distance 49 miles A second lap race, this time 2 laps around Highway 7.2 circling the town.

Day 21 Stage 17: Carlovia to Qazox City: Distance: 43.6 miles (70km) Final stage as riders travel through the suburbs of Qazox City, finishing in Qazian Memorial Stadium after one lap around the stadium.

Ok got my scorinator fixed up, so not much more of a delay, Signups will be cut off on March 19th not the 31st as previously mentioned. Thanks.

Bring it on, sign up now!!
yoU got nothing to lose!!
Maybe you're scared?
Please, it's fun!!!

<At an airport in Jeruselem>

Four attractive sportswomen and a man were sitting waiting for their plane to arrive. It was the one and only Dazza Dallas, and the three Jeruselem riders as well Dazza's cameraman. Annabelle Dosha sat down saying nothing like she normally did, while Kylie Kool and Keza Mofa were sending emails to loved ones on their laptops. Dazza was signing stuff for her fans at the airport including a few nude calendars with herself in it.

Dazza by far was the sexiest in the group despite being the oldest, but Kylie Kool was hot property - she was looking as attractive as her Mum Rachel Kool. A mob of press turned up to talk to the girls with Dazza talking World Cup 34 (and her sex life) and the others cycling.

As Team Green wombat prepared for the 4th TOUR de QAZOX, the teammates got together for one last talk before the prologue.


Johnnie Steele: "ok ya'll. i'm the new leader of this team, and I'm ticked off. First, 'cause we didn't win last year, but that's ok now that old man Critten is gone. Second, we're going to do everything, and i mean everything, to win this time around. And thirdly, I hear Dazza Dallas is coming back once again to commentate. I hate that pretentious bitch. Plan Alpha is now in effect, and those Jeruselem bastards will pay out the ass to get her back.


Charles Eckert: Johnnie, man why do we have to kidnap Dazza again? I thought Plan Alpha was to win the TOUR?


Lori Steele: Chuckie, you're a freaking moron. The only reason why we couldn't do it last year was 'cause it was in our own country. We wanna make Qazox look bad and cause some separation between those two. Already they are talking about hosting World Cups together, and soon after that, who knows they may decide that Green Wombat would make a nice pool for the huge country of Jeruzox. I'm not gonna stand for that, are you?


Widget: says nothing

Johnnie: And why is that... that thing and why is it doing here? You know i hate robots.

Lori: I dunno, it just followed us and i don't think its a robot, i mean it looks human...sort of.

(Announcement declaring Flight 56 from The Hexagon to Lake Porter City.. is now boarding)

Johnnie: Crap that's our flight... let's not talk about this until we're in our hotel in Lake Porter City right.

(ooc: Jeruselem, For some reason Johnnie thinks that Dazza's presence has cost him the last two TOURs, so that's why he wants to kidnap her, and why his wife joined the team. But due to ineptitude and Widget they won't actually kidnap her.. just play along.. thanks :D )

This is the offical Prologue Rider Order, as usual randomly drawn, provided no more sign-ups occur. If any more do sign up in the next 24 hrs, they will ride before the Defending champion, and after the other 36 riders. Each Rider will leave 45 seconds after each other.

(Note: Defending Champion is always in Bold Italics, and Qazoxian riders are always in Italics.)
1- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu)
2- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville)
3- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa)
4- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem)
5- Jahine Rex (Sativaville)
6- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa)
7- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem)
8- Kevin Storm (Sativaville)
9- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle)
10- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville)
11- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush)
12- Julie Renfro (Qazox)
13- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu)
14- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush)
15- Widget (Green wombat)
16- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa)
17- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu)
18- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat)
19- Alan O'Neill (Qazox)
20- Jay Paul (McPsychoville)
21- Charles Eckert (Green wombat)
22- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem)
23- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle)
24- Marco Paul (McPsychoville)
25- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville)
26- Chris van Stone (Random Toast)
27- Darrin McBride (Sativaville)
28- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle)
29- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle)
30- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu)
31- Frank Refth (Qazox)
32- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush)
33- Lori Steele (Green wombat)
34- Jeff Holl (Qazox)
35- Elly Bean (Random Toast)
36- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa)
37- TOASTER SMITH (Random Toast) Defending Champion

Welcome to QSPN.com's TOUR de QAZOX preview show. I'm Johnnie Gomez. An interesting group this time around as the teams have been allowed to expand their roster to 4 riders, and the result is 15 new riders to the TOUR, the most since 1914, when all but 3 riders were new. Of course that year was the 1st year allowing foreign riders to compete. Also this year a record setting 10 women will try to win the TOUR, breaking last year's record of 4. It's great to see that the TOUR is in step with the times, and more and more women are competing.

Now for the team break downs and the team's chances of success, according to our Cycling experts.

TEAM QAZOX: Returns all 3 riders from last year, and newcomer Julie Renfro. Alan O'Neill is back for the 6th time, and looks once again to compete for the Blue Jersey. Frank Refth and Jeff Holl still aren't quite ready to win, but both should be near the top for most of the TOUR. Julie Renfro will probably finish near the back, but could win the individual time trial on Day 15.

TEAM JERUSLEM: Both Kylie Kool and Kez Mofa return, and both are expected to contend. They both will finish in the top half, but neither will seriously contend. Annabelle Dosha is a threat to win the Sprint title, but little else is expected of her.

TEAM MCPSYCHOVILLE: New teams have fared well in the last 3 TOURS, as each one has been won by a Rookie team. If the streak continues, expect Ray Hedler to be the man to win it. The father-son team of Marco and Jay Paul could help propel this team to the top. Rochelle Carle is decent overall, and is expected to finish in the top-20

TEAM CAFUNDEU: Returns 2 riders for last time, Bernardo Petkovic and Geofrodo Rodolfo Formoso. Both are good enough to contend, but each has a weakness that will prevent them from winning. Rookies Fernanda Paulistana and Ricardo Martínez are good climbers and they should each contend for the Climber Title.

TEAM RANDOM TOAST: The most surprising team from last year returns, and looks even better. Defending champ, Toaster Smith, could be the first repeat winner in 6 years, while Elly Bean looks to defend her sprint title. Chris van Stone is still a year away from serious contending, but will surprise most by finishing in the top 15.

TEAM POTHEAD (Sativaville): A dissapointing run last year, but Darrin McBride and Kevin Storm are just entering their prime riding years, and should finish top-20. Newcomers Erica Ericssen and Jahine Rex are new to this type of Cycyling and it will show as they finish well back in the pack.

TEAM QUAKMYBUSH: For the 4th straight year the same three men will ride for the QuakAttack. But age is catching up to these men and this could be the last seriuos push for a title for each. Sepp Nietemeir appears to have the best shot, but don't count out Lance Legstrong in the longer stages of Petr Surikov in the shorter ones.

TEAM GREEN WOMBAT: A fall during the next-to-last stage cost Henry Critten a chance to repeat, and his retirement leaves a big void at the head of the team. Johnnie Steele, joined by his wife Lori, is a bit too individualistic to help the team win, but with his wife, an improved Charles Eckert, and the unknown Widget, this team could do great.

TEAM ST. PAUL'S ISLE: Like McPsychoville, they are new to the TOUR, and the best of the bunch seems to be Nicky Williams. Although Jeremy Davidson,
Andrew Buchanan, and Steven Mitchell look to be good riders as well, Williams is more well-rounded that his teammates, and that usually puts a person into contention.

TEAM LOVISA: Performed well last year, and with the addition of Matijas Sakalskij to the team, Lovisa maybe a dark-horse led by Pedro Alacoa, who finished 12th last year. Sebastien Bruel and Bastian Schlager have improved as well, making this team possibly the most well rounded.

As for the champion of this year's TOUR, our experts are predicting a win for Johnnie Steele of Green wombat with Pedro Alacoa, Nicky Williams, Ray Hedler and Alan O'Neill rounding out the top 5.

That's all for our preview, QSPN2 will carry all 17 stages live and with limited commerical interuption starting on Tuesday at 10:00 live from Kyolva, and contiuning until the finsih line at Qazian Memorial Stadium three weeks from tomorrow.

Jeruselem Government News

Tour de Qazox 4 coverage from the Village Bike herself

Me and the girls are in Qazox ahead of Ricky Pointy Stick who is bringing along our equipment. A few days of fun before we get into the cycling. Kylie, Kez are excited to be back while Annabelle is the newcomer. Annabelle is Dinkie's sister - Dinkie is like me and Annabelle is like my husband - quiet and reserved. Let's hope young Annabelle is ready to take the big sprinters!

10 women in this tour, excluding the Village bike herself (moi). Qazox is fully of foxy women and well, this place Qazox is the place if you want get yourself a fine young woman too. It will be interest who will be the next winner of the Veronica award. First winner was Kylie Kool but then there was not many women as competition. This time there will be so much competition, Kylie Kool better get in gear quickly.

Speaking of being the Village bike, pregnant again! Dazza can't help herself. Mind you, I will have three kids with this one - my sister Debbie has 12. Err, I'm a little village bike. The locals are so nice, and well everyone knows who I am by now (and what I look like naked). I'm going catch up with the Qazox national female football team soon too.

So people, cheer on our girls who are taking on the best men and women of cycling world. You know, if I didn't sleep my way into the football world I might just have been a cyclist. Too late for me, but guys ask me if Kylie Kool is new hot thing. She sure is! Oh, she's dating a footballer so too late guys. Dinkie Dosha still single so she's the one to chase but Jews only (rich ones that is).

Dazza Dallas

THE KINGSBOROUGH EPISTLE

Tour De Qazox Latest

The bikes have been tuned, the team uniforms laid out, and the scent of anticipation is in the air. For the fourth time, the world's elite descend upon the roads of Qazox; for the first time, the peloton will include a quartet of Pavleans.

Yes, that's right; the red and white clad members of the St Paul's Island cycling team will be raring to go for the prologue, and with talk of team leader Nicky Williams being one of the contenders for the coveted maillot bleu, there'll be much to look forward to. The teams members (bar Steven Mitchell, who goes off ninth) also have the advantage of being in the secoind half of the prologue, and will know a little better what is expected of them.

The prologue is live on ITR1, with the show starting at 14:00 Island Standard Time.

SIGN-UPS ARE NOW CLOSED... See you tommorow for the Prologue and Good luck!!!

1917 TOUR de QAZOX Prologue RESULTS

Prologue: Prologue: Kyolva, Qazox to Lake Porter City Distance 35.8 miles.
(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)
Please Note that these are also the current overall standings as well)
1- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) 1hr: 06min: 16sec
2- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +0:01 sec
3- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +0:02 sec
4- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +0:03 sec
5- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +0:04 sec
6- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +0:05 sec
7- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +0:06 sec
8- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +0:10 sec
9- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +0:13 sec
10- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +0:14 sec
11- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +0:16 sec
12- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +0:21 sec
13- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +0:22 sec
14- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +0:25 sec
15- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +0:27 sec
16- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +0:28 sec
17- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +0:29 sec
18- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +0:32 sec
19- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +0:38 sec
20- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +0:40 sec
21- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +0:41 sec
22- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +0:46 sec
23- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +0:48 sec
24- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +0:49 sec
25- Widget (Green wombat) +0:50 sec
26- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +0:55 sec
27- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +0:56 sec
28- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +0:58 sec
29- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +1m:00 sec
30- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +1m:02 sec
31- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +1m:04 sec
32- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:09 sec
33- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +1m:14 sec
34- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +1m:17 sec
35- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +1m:21 sec
36- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) +1m:26 sec
37- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +1m:29 sec




Sprinter Standings:
1- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) 10pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 7pts
(wears green jersey due to Annabelle Dosha wearing the blue jersey)
3- Lori Steele (Green wombat) 5pts
4- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 4pts
5- Julie Renfro (Qazox) 3pts
6- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) 2pts
7- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) 1pt


Up next: Day 2 Stage 1: Lake Porter City, Qazox to Lake Porter City. Distance: 171.9 miles. One lap around Lake Porter, this is one of the longer tougher stages, as most fo the first week will test the endurance of all riders.


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1917_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

<Dazza Dallas with a shirt "Princess Village Bike" and a female cyclist>

Dazza: Hi, this is Dazza Dallas for JGN at the Tour de Qazox 4. With me, is the Prologue winner Annabelle Dosha, our own Annabelle Dosha! Kez Mofa finished

16 and Kylie Kool 31st, but those girls don't sprint well. Annabelle sure can! She beat Elly Bean too, now isn't that just a great effort.
Annabelle: Err, hi ...

Dazza: Come on Anna, you won something and on debut. You should be happy!
Annabelle: Well, I am not like my sister who's a bit like you. I don't say a lot or get all emotional.

Dazza: So, what's the secret in going fast like that?
Annabelle: It's no secret, you need the right body type and work on it. I'm lucky that way.

Dazza: For you, lots of weights and big muscles then?
Annabelle: Yes, something like that. A need for speed too, not everyone likes being super fast.

Dazza: This need for speed, it is in the family?
Annabelle: Not really, my sister Dinkie prefers to be lazy and slow most of the time - except when need comes.

Dazza: Sounds like Dazza! So, you think you are great chance win the Sprinters yellow?
Annabelle: I have a chance but I only won by 1 second so I was lucky.

Dazza: Any room for improvement there?
Annabelle: The bike needs adjustment but the team techs are doing to good job with the bikes

Dazza: So how to like this place, Qazox?
Annabelle: A bit cold but I like this place. Great for cycling compared to home and much greener.

Dazza: Want to come back for the next tour?
Annabelle: For sure, I want to come back.

Dazza: Hey, what about the coach Ricky Pointy Stick? He's the man for the job?
Annabelle: Yes, he's good with ladies as you know Dazza. He's got the man's touch indeed.

Dazza: Manfred Mann the Man called you some unpleasant names on radio what's your response. He says women shouldn't look like that.
Annabelle: Well, he should be a real man and try cycling. Or just play with himself.

Dazza: Well said!
Annabelle: I don't like fake men like him.

Dazza: Well, that's it from me. Annabelle wins the Prologue from the best, what an effort. See you all later, this is the Village Bike signing off.
Annabelle: Err, yeah you later.

1917 TOUR de QAZOX Stage 1 RESULTS

Stage 1: Lake Porter City, Qazox to Lake Porter City Distance: 171.9 miles.
(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) 5hr: 42min: 31sec
2- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) +0:06 sec
3- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:14 sec
4- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +0:14 sec
5- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:16 sec
6- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +0:18 sec
7- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +0:22 sec
8- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +0:23 sec
9- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +0:25 sec
10- Widget (Green wombat) +0:26 sec
11- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:26 sec
12- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +0:31 sec
13- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +0:34 sec
14- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +0:46 sec
15- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +0:49 sec
16- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +0:54 sec
17- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +0:55 sec
18- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +0:56 sec
19- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:00 sec
20- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +1m:01 sec
21- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +1m:11 sec
22- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +1m:12 sec
23- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +1m:17 sec
24- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +1m:22 sec
25- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +1m:23 sec
26- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +1m:26 sec
27- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +1m:27 sec
28- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +1m:27 sec
29- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +1m:31 sec
30- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:31 sec
31- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +1m:32 sec
32- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +1m:34 sec
33- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +1m:40sec
34- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +1m:44 sec
35- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +1m:48 sec
36- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +1m:48 sec
37- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +1m:54 sec



OVERALL STANDINGS:


1- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) 6hr:49min:34sec
2- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +0:15 sec
3- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +0:15 sec
4- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +0:25 sec
5- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +0:26 sec
6- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +0:27 sec
7- Widget (Green wombat) +0:29 sec
8- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +0:29 sec
9- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:31 sec
10- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +0:35 sec
11- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +0:36 sec
12- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:39 sec
13- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +0:46 sec
14- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) +0:47 sec
15- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +0:47 sec
16- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +0:48 sec
17- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +0:49 sec
18- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +0:49 sec
19- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +0:50 sec
20- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:50 sec
21- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +0:53 sec
22- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +0:53 sec
23- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +0:53 sec
24- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +0:56 sec
25- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +1m:02 sec
26- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +1m:03 sec
27- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +1m:03 sec
28- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +1m:05 sec
29- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:05 sec
30- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +1m:05 sec
31- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +1m:08 sec
32- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +1m:09 sec
33- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +1m:11 sec
34- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +1m:19 sec
35- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +1m:20 sec
36- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +1m:28 sec
37- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +1m:35 sec



Sprinter Standings:
1- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) 10pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 7pts
3- Lori Steele (Green wombat) 5pts
4- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 4pts
5- Julie Renfro (Qazox) 3pts
6- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) 2pts
7- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) 1pt


Up next: Lake Porter City to Freetown, Qazox. Distance: 102.9 miles. Mostly flat, this stage is welcome for most speedsters, but a tough climb over the last 16 miles will slow them down a bit.


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1917_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

<Dazza Dallas with a shirt "On ya bike!" and a smiling female cyclist>

Dazza: Hi this is Dazza Dallas, aka The Village Bike at the Tour de Qazox 4. I'm with 3rd placed Kylie Kool for Stage 1. She finished 14 seconds behind Pedro Alacoa of Lovisa and Ray Hedler from McPsychoville was just 6 seconds off the pace. Kez Mofa was distant 55 seconds off the pace while Annabelle Dosha was some 100 seconds away. This places Kylie Kool 9th overall, Kez at 11th and Annabelle back on 21st. However, all Jeruselem girls are in a minute of the overall leader Bernardo Petkovic, so all is well.
Kylie: Hi everyone
Dazza: Great start for team Jeruselem! Annabelle winning the Prologue with now 3rd place for you.
Kylie: Yeah, much better last tour so far. I think we are getting better but there's a lot more riding to do. Nice shirt Dazza.

Dazza: Oh thanks. I'm sure, people would give me a ride or two - heh heh. So, what's next for the team.
Kylie: Hard work, making sure I stay in the top 10 while the others make things easy for me win. Simple really
Dazza: Ricky work you girls hard then?
Kylie: You have to work hard, we are here and no second chances now. It's the real thing.

Dazza: You're looking good, like really good. Guys must be crazy about you these days?
Kylie: Sort of, nothing like your fan base still. You're looking good too.
Dazza: Thanks, but I am growing older like any person does.
Kylie: You've got a good family, that's what counts in the end.

Dazza: How is your football man?
Kylie: Yeah great thanks, but you better keep away from him. You distract people too much.
Dazza: Me, why's that (smiles). Planning kids?
Kylie: Not yet, too busy. You know what it's like with a big career to create.

Dazza: There's always time for kids, well, if you plan it properly and don't have accidents.
Kylie: Guys have it easier as they can't get pregnant, so it's easier for their careers. Women who have kids need to make the big decisions - career or kids. Cycling isn't any different.
Dazza: So how is Mum and Grandma?
Kylie: Taking it easy, but not being vegetables. Don't worry about them, they are fine. Just the usual health problems growing old as you know.

Dazza: Your Dad, Harry isn't too well.
Kylie: Cancer, but he's a fighter. He'll fight to the last second.
Dazza: Well, let's wish Harry Kool well. He's done so much for football. Support the Kools everyone, and Goldsteins too.
Kylie: We can only pray.

Dazza: That's it from the tour here. Jeruselem girls doing well and making the top 3 in each stage so far. Send your well wishes to Kylie's father too.
Kylie: So ya everyone and as Dazza says ON YA BIKE

Dazza: And not all at once please. I'm only one person.
Kylie: You are cheeky Dazza.

(ooc: Jeruselem.. nm about the story line i mentioned previously, i don't have the time for it.)

GWIN Report
(Green Wombat International News)


After the 1st stage of the 1917 Tour De Qazox, our Team has faired well, but improvement must be made or else we'll go home titleless once again. Here's the Green Wombati riders so far: (after each rider; the place in that stage and the time listed after each stage is thetime behind or ahead in [mm/ss] stage from the winner, the time in underlined italics is the overall time in respect to the overall leader.)

JOHNNIE STEELE: Prologue: 33rd +1:14; Stage 1: 7th, +0:22; 18th, +0:49

LORI STEELE: Prologue: 3rd +0:02; Stage 1: 31st, +1:32; 15th, +0:47

WIDGET: Prologue: 25TH +0:50; Stage 1: 10th, +0:20; 7th, +0:29


CHARLES ECKERT: Prologue: 17th +0:29; Stage 1: 25th, +1:23; 28th, +1:05

(OOC: NO SCORES TONIGHT DUE TO WORK-RELATED ISSUES.. (for newbs to the TOUR, this happens about once a week.. sorry) will have Stage 2 up tommorrrow night)

1917 TOUR de QAZOX Stage 2 RESULTS

Stage 2: Lake Porter City to Freetown, Qazox. Distance: 102.9 miles
(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) 3hr: 24min: 16sec
2- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +0:08 sec
3- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:11 sec
4- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:16 sec
5- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) +0:19 sec
6- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +0:19 sec
7- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +0:25 sec
8- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +0:26 sec
9- Widget (Green wombat) +0:26 sec
10- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:28 sec
11- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +0:34 sec
12- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +0:39 sec
13- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +0:39 sec
14- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +0:48 sec
15- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +0:50 sec
16- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +:50 sec
17- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +0:54 sec
18- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +0:54 sec
19- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +0:54 sec
20- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +0:55 sec
21- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +1m:06 sec
22- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +1m:11 sec
23- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +1m:12 sec
24- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +1m:17 sec
25- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +1m:17 sec
26- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +1m:17 sec
27- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +1m:17 sec
28- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +1m:17 sec
29- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:20 sec
30- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +1m:20 sec
31- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +1m:21 sec
32- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +1m:26 sec
33- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +1m:33 sec
34- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +1m:37 sec
35- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +1m:37 sec
36- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +1m:37 sec
37- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +1m:48 sec



OVERALL STANDINGS:


1- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) 10hr:14min:13sec
2- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +0:04 sec
3- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +0:17 sec
4- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:19 sec
5- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +0:29 sec
6- Widget (Green wombat) +0:32 sec
7- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +0:33 sec
8- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) +0:43 sec
9- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:43 sec
10- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:44 sec
11- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +0:52 sec
12- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +0:52 sec
13- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +1m:00 sec
14- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:02 sec
15- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:04 sec
16- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +1m:05 sec
17- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +1m:07 sec
18- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +1m:09 sec
19- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +1m:17 sec
20- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +1m:33 sec
21- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +1m:36 sec
22- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +1m:44 sec
23- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:46 sec
24- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +1m:54 sec
25- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:37 sec
26- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +1m:59 sec
27- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +2m:03 sec
28- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +2m:05 sec
29- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +2m:06 sec
30- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +2m:12 sec
31- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +2m:13 sec
32- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +2m:24 sec
33- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +2m:24 sec
34- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +2m:25 sec
35- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +2m:25 sec
36- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +2m:29 sec
37- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +2m:53 sec



Sprinter Standings:
1- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) 10pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 7pts
3- Lori Steele (Green wombat) 5pts
4- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 4pts
5- Julie Renfro (Qazox) 3pts
6- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) 2pts
7- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) 1pt


Up next: Day 4 Stage 3: Freetown to Graverville. Distance: 151.3 miles. A long stage, with a steep climb just before the 1/2way point, but follwed by a smooth decent over the next 20 miles. Potential for a runaway.


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1917_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

<Kylie Kool and Dazza Dallas are busy signing autographs from keen Qazox fans>

Kez: Damn those two are popular, and one is just the reporter.
Annabelle: It is Dazza though. Mrs Village bike herself.
Kez: Kylie's not far behind in popular stakes too.
Annabelle: No one's interested in us though. Oh well.

Kez: At least we are doing our job in helping Kylie. She's finished 3rd twice.
Annabelle: Nice body too. These guys look happy being around her.
Kez: Maybe, it's the Dazza effect.
Annabelle: What's that Kez?

Kez: Dazza's associates are always in vogue. Anyone who's her friend seems to have a lot of fans.
Annabelle: Some say she's the Goddess of Love on Earth.
Kez: Who said that?
Annabelle: Oh, I was talking some occult guy. He's followed her around with weird device - some aura measurement device.

Kez: Yeah? Go on.
Annabelle: She's got some huge aura you can't see. Attracts guys like flies and makes her friends attractive.
Kez: Well, good thing we are her good side then?
Annabelle: She does hang around good looking people a lot too, it helps.

Kez: Explains her tendency for nudity and nyphomania too.
Annabelle: Never met anyone so charming. Her Mum is pretty boring but her Dad used to some sort of Romeo guy. She's really nothing like her sister apart from intelligence and lots of kids.
Kez: Must the difference in fathers.
Annabelle: My sister Dinkie is nothing like me either. Dinkie loves attention, makes me wonder about my parents.

Kez: My family aren't anything special, just all sports crazy.
Annabelle: Pity about your Dad.
Kez: That's alright, he died doing what he loves to do.
Annabelle: Here come those girls.

Dazza: Hey girls.
Kylie: What a crowd.
Kez: Dazza, some of guys where fonding you a bit.
Dazza: Didn't notice that.

Kylie: Your skirt is raised a bit.
Dazza: Doesn't matter. Let them have their fun!
Annabelle: You're a funny woman.
Kylie: Them guys are pretty keen on me. Qazox guys are cute.

Dazza: I like this place.
Kez: Hey Dazza, where are our guys?
Dazza: Just hang around me.
Annabelle: I prefer keep away from crowds.

(ooc: No results tommorrow.. sorry have to work a double :(, also i apologize if it seems some riders are getting shafted, but the early parts this time just happen to be geared towards certain catergories. The back end will allow the others to catch up.)

1917 TOUR de QAZOX Stage 3 RESULTS

Stage 3: Freetown to Graverville. Distance: 151.3 miles.
(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 5hr: 16min: 54sec
2- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +0:04 sec
3- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) +0:09 sec
4- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:09 sec
5- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +0:15 sec
6- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +0:15 sec
7- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +0:22 sec
8- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +0:22 sec
9- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:28 sec
10- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +0:28 sec
11- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +0:32 sec
12- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +0:34 sec
13- Widget (Green wombat) +0:34 sec
14- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +0:40 sec
15- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +0:41 sec
16- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +0:41 sec
17- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +0:44 sec
18- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +:44 sec
19- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +0:44 sec
20- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +0:48 sec
21- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +0:54 sec
22- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +0:54 sec
23- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +0:57 sec
24- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +0:57 sec
25- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +1m:17 sec
26- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +1m:01 sec
27- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +1m:01 sec
28- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +1m:02 sec
29- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +1m:06 sec
30- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +1m:10 sec
31- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:12 sec
32- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +1m:12 sec
33- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +1m:14 sec
34- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +1m:19 sec
35- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +1m:25 sec
36- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +1m:25 sec
37- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +1m:31 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS:


1- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) 15hr: 30min: 22sec
2- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +0:04 sec
3- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:12 sec
4- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:28 sec
5- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +0:34 sec
6- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) +0:37 sec
7- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +0:41 sec
8- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +0:48 sec
9- Widget (Green wombat) +0:51 sec
10- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:57 sec
11- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +1m:00 sec
12- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:11 sec
13- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +1m:16 sec
14- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +1m:18 sec
15- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +1m:21 sec
16- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +1m:29 sec
17- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:31 sec
18- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +1m:33 sec
19- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +1m:43 sec
20- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +2m:02 sec
21- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +2m:19 sec
22- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +2m:23 sec
23- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +2m:36 sec
24- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +2m:41 sec
25- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +2m:43 sec
26- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +2m:45 sec
27- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +2m:51 sec
28- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +2m:55 sec
29- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +2m:57 sec
30- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +3m:02 sec
31- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +3m:03 sec
32- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +3m:07 sec
33- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +3m:08 sec
34- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +3m:28 sec
35- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +3m:35 sec
36- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +3m:35 sec
37- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +4m:09 sec



Sprinter Standings:
1- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) 10pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 7pts
3- Lori Steele (Green wombat) 5pts
4- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 4pts
5- Julie Renfro (Qazox) 3pts
6- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) 2pts
7- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) 1pt


Day 5 Stage 4: Graverville to Joehio. Distance: 106.2 miles. The mountians begin with this stage as riders will climb up just over a mile in elevation from the beginning to the end of the stage.


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1917_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

<Dazza Dallas knocks on Kylie Kool's hotel room door>

Dazza: Hey, it's the Village Bike here.
Kylie: What's up Dazza?
Dazza: It's your birthday, Dazza's got something for you.
Kylie: You don't have to, I don't need stuff really Dazza.

Dazza: I insist! For a good looking woman like you who might win cycling tour, nothing is too good.
Kylie: If you do insist, what is it?
Dazza: Something for a Queen, I say. Here you are <hands over a flat package>
Kylie: Clothes?

Dazza: Yes, open it!
Kylie: <Opens package> I've always wanted this, thanks.
Dazza: The Razza Dazza assistant manager told you're always looking at that dress.
Kylie: It's so expensive, you sure you want to just give it away.

Dazza: Hey, I'm the boss there. I can give anything away. Oi, put in on.
Kylie: Sure thing. <Runs off to the bathroom to get dressed>

<Later>

Dazza: Looking good, that will get any man excited. Glamour girl!
Kylie: I still look ordinary compared to you.
Dazza: I'm growing older, you do look a million dollars.
Kylie: Let's have few photos for my man.

Dazza: Why not. (snaps a few photos)
Kylie: It's good to have friend like you.
Dazza: Anything for Rachel Kool's little girl. I've got more stuff.
Kylie: More?

Dazza: The matching underwear, and shoes. (hands over another package)
Kylie: You think of everything.
Dazza: When it comes to glamour, just call me. I show you the way.
Kylie: You make glamour out of nudity too

Dazza: Oh yeah, anything for attention.
Kylie: I guess you have use your good looks while they last.
Dazza: Before Dazza turns into a crinkly crumpet from a creamy strumpet
Kylie: You are right about that.

Dazza: You don't have to worry, look at your mother and grandmother. They are still looking good for their age.
Kylie: Your family don't seem to have that problem either.
Dazza: Well, I do have a different father from most of my relatives.
Kylie: He's got a wife as old as you, isn't that an issue?

Dazza: No no, she's fine with me - like a sister.
Kylie: I was just wondering.
Dazza: She's a great babysitter for her and my kids. She loves kids!
Kylie: Like your family, lot of kids.

Dazza: You can knock up the Dallas girls but you can't knock then down,
Kylie: That's funny!

1917 TOUR de QAZOX Stage 4 RESULTS

Stage 4: Graverville to Joehio. Distance: 106.2 miles.
(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) 3hr: 56min: 43sec
2- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:02 sec
3- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +0:03 sec
4- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +0:03 sec
5- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +0:06 sec
6- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +0:06 sec
7- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) +0:10 sec
8- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:10 sec
9- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:15 sec
10- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +0:15 sec
11- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +0:16 sec
12- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +0:23 sec
13- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +0:23 sec
14- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +0:27 sec
15- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +0:33 sec
16- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +0:35 sec
17- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +0:35 sec
18- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +0:39 sec
19- Widget (Green wombat) +0:39 sec
20- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +0:39 sec
21- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +0:45 sec
22- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +0:46 sec
23- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +0:46 sec
24- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +0:46 sec
25- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +0:48 sec
26- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +0:50 sec
27- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +0:55 sec
28- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +:55 sec
29- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +0:55 sec
30- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +0:58 sec
31- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +1m:01 sec
32- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +1m:01 sec
33- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +1m:04 sec
34- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +1m:05 sec
35- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:11 sec
36- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +1m:11 sec
37- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +1m:14 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS:

1- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) 19hr: 27min: 27sec
2- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +0:01 sec
3- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +0:04 sec
4- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:08 sec
5- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +0:19 sec
6- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) +0:25 sec
7- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +0:39 sec
8- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:50 sec
9- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +0:52 sec
10- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +0:57 sec
11- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +1m:05 sec
12- Widget (Green wombat) +1m:08 sec
13- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +1m:11 sec
14- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +1m:50 sec
15- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +1m:52 sec
16- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +1m:54 sec
17- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +2m:02 sec
18- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +2m:04 sec
19- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +2m:06 sec
20- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +2m:13 sec
21- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +2m:43 sec
22- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +2m:47 sec
23- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +2m:49 sec
24- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +2m:52 sec
25- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +3m:06 sec
26- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +3m:08 sec
27- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +3m:09 sec
28- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +3m:15 sec
29- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +3m:23 sec
30- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +3m:30 sec
31- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +3m:32 sec
32- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +3m:43 sec
33- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +3m:44 sec
34- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +3m:56 sec
35- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +4m:03 sec
36- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +4m:14 sec
37- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +4m:14 sec



Sprinter Standings:
1- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) 10pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 7pts
3- Lori Steele (Green wombat) 5pts
4- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 4pts
5- Julie Renfro (Qazox) 3pts
6- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) 2pts
7- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) 1pt


Climbing Standings:
1- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) 10pts(Climb Leader)
2- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 7pts
3- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) 4.5pts
4- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) 4.5 pts
5- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 2.5pts
6- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 2.5pts
7- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) 0.5pts
8- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) 0.5 pts


Up Next: DAY 6: REST DAY

Day 7 Stage 5: Joehio to New Bruxen. Distance: 75 miles. A short stage, but a difficult one as teams will climb the highest mountain in Qazox, Mt. Carlo. An almost 1.5 mile rise in elevation will test all.


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1917_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

<Kylie Kool answers a phone call>

Kylie: This is Kylie Kool.
Voice: Hi, I'm the CEO of Jumpy Sports Gear. You know, we've been looking for someone who can represent us in our ads. From the performances at the current Tour, we think you're the woman to do it for us.

Kylie: Me? Why not a football player?
Voice: Well, Dazza's not our sort of role model. We think your clean image and the Kool name is what we need. And Dazza's Razza Dazza are actually competitors so getting a Dallas will never happen.

Kylie: That's nice I just want to just concentrate on my cycling for now. I need to work hard to keep the lead in this tour with my teammates.
Voice: It will after the tour. All you have to do is pose with your bike and our sports gear. No nudity or anything like that.

Kylie: What do I get out of it?
Voice: You'll get paid well, don't worry.

Kylie: But I wear Razza Dazza gear as does the rest of the team.
Voice: Come to our stores and find out about our sports gear.

Kylie: But I'm perfectly happy with Razza Dazza sports gear. It's functional and sexy at the same time.
Voice: I understand but our stuff is good too. Please come and try our clothes.

Kylie: You'd better call my mother who's my agent first. She handles all my affairs.
Voice: Ah, the one and only Rachel Kool? Yes I will, think about it. We aren't saying Dazza's stuff is bad, but we have good stuff too.

Kylie: Not now, but thanks for the offer.
Voice: Good luck with the tour. We want team Jeruselem to win. We can help the team win too. Next tour we will be attempting to get our gear as official team clothing. It's just business, we must compete against Razza Dazza. It's hard, the Dallas girls have all advertising on their TV and radio shows for their own businesses so we have to find a new way. Actually, I once met Dazza when she was a cheeky school in my younger days. That generation was good one, the future business leaders of today.

Kylie: Well, I hope you find another role model for your ads.
Voice: It's hard to find one, we need a good looking young woman who isn't a Dallas or porn star.

Kylie: What about that Dinkie girl?
Voice: Too Dazza.

Liz Kitten: Hi and welcome to Qazok. I am at the 4th tour de Qazok, where team toast is again representing our land. Its been a good start to the tour for our riders, reigning champion of the tour, Toaster Smith is still in contention and Chris Vanstone is also just 4 seconds from the overall lead. Elly Bean has picked up points in the sprinting, so all is looking rosy. I have with me today Chris Vanstone. Chris hows the tour going for you?

Chris Vanstone: Fantastic Liz, I'm feeling good and looking good, but it's a tour of two halfs. No one can predict what is round the corner.

Liz: So what is round the corner?

Chris: Oh, thats my burger van.

Liz: And on that bombshell, its back to the studio for the latest edition of Arn't Animals Flipping Stupid.

Globo Multimedia was broadcasting the Tour of Qazox live. The commentator is Noel Polo:

"And we're reaching the end of this stage. Jeremy Davidson is in first, Toaster Smith in second and Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso in third. He has chances to win, as all the riders are close to each other."

"And here comes Ricardo Martínez in the fourth position, and Godofredo makes an effort to take the lead! Toaster Smith takes the second place and Jeremy Davidson falls to fifth."

"Godofredo slows down, and the other riders are surprised, and can't pass him. Ricardo Martínez comes from the fourth position and takes the lead! Kevin Storm is the second."

"Last seconds of the stage. Storm makes a mistake which will cost him some positions. And the winner is... Martínez! Smith in second and Davidson in third! Ricardo commemorates using both hands and looking to the sky... and his bycicle falls in a hole, where the sewers are being repaired. Luckily, Martínez didn't fell on it too, but he hit his head in a plate."

Our reporter, Mariana Lobos, will interview him. It's with you, Mariana.

"Thanks, Noel. He is getting up. I'll talk to him. Are you okay?"

"Yes, I think so. This hurts!"

"What do you think about winning the stage?"

"It's incredible. I'm an experienced rider, but not on international competitions, so this is a different feeling for me. Thanks for the team."

"Thanks, Ricardo."

"Where is my bike?"

1917 TOUR de QAZOX Stage 5 RESULTS

Stage 4: Graverville to Joehio. Distance: 106.2 miles.
(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 2hr: 41min: 26sec
2- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +0:04 sec
3- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +0:05 sec
4- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:10 sec
5- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +0:10 sec
6- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +0:14 sec
7- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +0:19 sec
8- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:25 sec
9- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:30 sec
10- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +0:31 sec
11- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) +0:33 sec
12- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +0:38 sec
13- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +0:38 sec
14- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +0:40 sec
15- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +0:40 sec
16- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +0:42 sec
17- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +0:42 sec
18- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +0:43 sec
19- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +0:43 sec
20- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +0:47 sec
21- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +0:51 sec
22- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +0:51 sec
23- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +0:53 sec
24- Widget (Green wombat) +0:53 sec
25- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +0:53 sec
26- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +0:53 sec
27- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +0:58 sec
28- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +0:58 sec
29- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +1m:00 sec
30- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:00 sec
31- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +1m:04 sec
32- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +1m:04 sec
33- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +1m:06 sec
34- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:10 sec
35- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +1m:10 sec
36- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +1m:11 sec
37- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +1m:16 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS:

1- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 22hr: 09min: 11sec
2- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:12 sec
3- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +0:15 sec
4- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +0:25 sec
5- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +0:27 sec
6- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +0:39 sec
7- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) +0:40 sec
8- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +0:49 sec
9- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:57 sec
10- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +0:59 sec
11- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +1m:24 sec
12- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +1m:40 sec
13- Widget (Green wombat) +1m:43 sec
14- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +2m:23 sec
15- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +2m:33 sec
16- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +2m:34 sec (Climb Leader)
17- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +2m:36 sec
18- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +2m:37 sec
19- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +2m:39 sec
20- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +2m:46 sec
21- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +2m:48 sec
22- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +2m:50 sec
23- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +3m:08 sec
24- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +3m:09 sec
25- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +3m:30 sec
26- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +3m:44 sec
27- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +3m:50 sec
28- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +3m:52 sec
29- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +3m:59 sec
30- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +4m:04 sec
31- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +4m:21 sec
32- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +4m:22 sec
33- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +4m:24 sec
34- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +4m:29 sec
35- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +4m:32 sec (Sprint Leader)
36- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +4m:54 sec
37- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +4m:54 sec



Sprinter Standings:
1- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) 10pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 7pts
3- Lori Steele (Green wombat) 5pts
4- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 4pts
5- Julie Renfro (Qazox) 3pts
6- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) 2pts
7- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) 1pt


Climbing Standings:
1- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 12.5 pts(Climb Leader)
2-Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) 12pts
3- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 10.5 pts
4- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) 9.5 pts
5- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 9.5 pts
6- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) 8 pts
7- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) 1pt
8- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) 0.5pts
9- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) 0.5 pts


Up Next: Day 8 Stage 6: New Bruxen to Monteverde. Distance: 89.3 miles. A true test of one's will as this stage is among the most difficult with a steep decent and climb.


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1917_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

Kylie Kool Fanclub Newsletter

Our Kylie is battling hard to Toaster Smith from Random Toast at the Tour de Qazox 4. She is just 12 seconds off the pace after finishing 9th in stage 4 while Toaster Smith finished 4th. Toaster gained 20 seconds on Kylie in that stage and took the lead. Still, there is a lot more cycling to be done but we fans are sure Kylie will be the best female on this tour. Let's hope Kylie can emulate Ricky Pointy Stick with his win and 2nd place.

We encourage all Kylie fans to keep with the Tour de Qazox results. What's not to like with Dazza Dallas and Kylie Kool on TV! Dazza leaked the following to us. There's going to be some Kylie Kool JGN merchandise to be released soon, so don't miss out when it does come out.

We are having an AGM in a week, so all members please turn up. On the agenda is raising money for a more permanent Kylie Kool tribute, that clay thing we have is shabby and not much of a statue. After shopping around, we got a great deal from businessman who could help us a little as he likes Kylie too. Another thing on the agenda is new membership cards. The current cards are looking dated and we need to upgrade to high tech microchipped cards so we can make process of identification more efficient.

Membership numbers are really up but nowhere near the numbers from the Dazza Dallas fanclub. So fellow Kylie Kool fans, grab that Dazza Dallas fan and make they sign up to our fanclub too. Do it while Dazza and Kylie are on TV at the same time, before World Cup fever sweeps Jeruselem again.

1917 TOUR de QAZOX Stage 6 RESULTS

Stage 6: New Bruxen to Monteverde. Distance: 89.3 miles.
(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) 3hr: 11min: 12sec
2- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:06 sec
3- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +0:09 sec
4- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +0:14 sec
5- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +0:19 sec (Climb Leader)
6- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +0:21 sec
7- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) +0:24 sec
8- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:28 sec
9- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +0:31 sec
10- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:32 sec
11- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +0:33 sec
12- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +0:34 sec
13- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +0:37 sec
14- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +0:41 sec
15- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +0:46 sec
16- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +0:48 sec
17- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +0:51 sec
19- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +0:54 sec
19- Widget (Green wombat) +0:55 sec
20- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +0:58 sec
21- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +1m:00 sec
22- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +1m:06 sec
23- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +1m:07 sec
24- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +1m:11 sec
25- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +1m:13 sec
26- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +1m:18 sec
27- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +1m:22 sec
28- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:23 sec
29- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +1m:27 sec
30- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +1m:28 sec
31- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +1m:31 sec
32- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +1m:33 sec
33- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +1m:38 sec (Sprint Leader)
34- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +1m:41 sec
35- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +1m:42 sec
36- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:47 sec
37- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +1m:50 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS:

1- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 25hr: 20min: 29sec
2- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +0:09 sec
3- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:34 sec
4- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +0:42 sec
5- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +0:55 sec
6- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +0:56 sec
7- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +0:57 sec
8- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) +0:58 sec
9- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +1m:23 sec
10- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +1m:34 sec
11- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +1m:49 sec
12- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +2m:32 sec
13- Widget (Green wombat) +2m:32 sec
14- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +2m:38 sec
15- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +2m:47 sec (Climb Leader)
16- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +3m:17 sec
17- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +3m:31 sec
18- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +3m:33 sec
19- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +3m:51 sec
20- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +3m:52 sec
21- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +4m:03 sec
22- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +4m:09 sec
23- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +4m:09 sec
24- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +4m:15 sec
25- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +4m:31 sec
26- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +4m:34 sec
27- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +4m:49 sec
28- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +4m:50 sec
29- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +4m:59 sec
30- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +5m:33 sec
31- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +5m:34 sec
32- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +5m:51 sec
33- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +5m:58 sec
34- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +6m:04 sec (Sprint Leader)
35- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +6m:05 sec
36- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +6m:19 sec
37- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +6m:21 sec



Sprinter Standings:
1- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) 10pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 7pts
3- Lori Steele (Green wombat) 5pts
4- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 4pts
5- Julie Renfro (Qazox) 3pts
6- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) 2pts
7- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) 1pt


Climbing Standings:
1-Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) 22pts (Climb Leader)
2- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 17.5 pts
3- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 15.5 pts
4- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) 14.5 pts
5- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) 12 pts
6- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 11.5 pts
7- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) 1.5pts
8- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) 1pt
9- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) 0.5 pts


Up Next: Day 9 Stage 7: Monteverde to San Guano. Distance: 100.7 miles.
Final mountain stage as riders head towards the lowlands and warmer temps.
(ooc note: this is the last offical Mountain stage, but there is 1 last stage which will count as a mountain stage..tnx)


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1917_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

1917 TOUR de QAZOX Stage 7 RESULTS

Stage 7: Monteverde to San Guano. Distance: 100.7 miles.
(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) 4hr: 03min: 33sec
2- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +0:01 sec
3- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +0:02 sec
4- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +0:07 sec
5- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:12 sec
6- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +0:13 sec
7- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +0:21 sec
8- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +0:26 sec
9- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) +0:32 sec
10- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:36 sec
11- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:36 sec
12- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +0:42 sec
13- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +0:44 sec
14- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +0:49 sec
15- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +0:51 sec
16- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +0:57 sec
17- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +1m:00 sec
18- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +1m:02 sec
19- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +1m:05 sec
20- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +1m:10 sec
21- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +1m:12 sec
22- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +1m:13 sec
23- Widget (Green wombat) +1m:17 sec
24- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +1m:23 sec
25- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +1m:24 sec
26- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +1m:26 sec
27- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +1m:29 sec
28- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +1m:32 sec
29- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +1m:33 sec
30- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +1m:37 sec
31- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:39 sec
32- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +1m:41 sec
33- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +1m:48 sec (Sprint Leader)
34- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +1m:49 sec
35- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +1m:53 sec
36- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:54 sec
37- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +1m:56 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS: (Green is Sprint leader; Red is Climbing Leader)

1- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 29hr: 24min: 14sec
2- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +0:04 sec
3- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +0:43 sec
4- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +0:45 sec
5- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:56 sec
6- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) +1m:18 sec
7- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +1m:34 sec
8- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +1m:44 sec
9- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +1m:47 sec
10- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +2m:03 sec
11- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +2m:19 sec
12- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +2m:27 sec
13- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +2m:37 sec
14- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +3m:33 sec
15- Widget (Green wombat) +3m:37 sec
16- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +3m:47 sec
17- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +4m:19 sec
18- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +4m:23 sec
19- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +4m:40 sec
20- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +4m:45 sec
21- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +4m:52 sec
22- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +5m:17 sec
23- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +5m:20 sec
24- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +5m:30 sec
25- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +5m:38 sec
26- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +5m:44 sec
27- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +5m:50 sec
28- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +6m:13 sec
29- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +6m:18 sec
30- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +6m:23 sec
31- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +7m:12 sec
32- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +7m:15 sec
33- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +7m:35 sec
34- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +7m:36 sec
35- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +7m:40 sec
36- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +7m:41 sec
37- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +7m:47 sec



Sprinter Standings:
1- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) 10pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 7pts
3- Lori Steele (Green wombat) 5pts
4- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 4pts
5- Julie Renfro (Qazox) 3pts
6- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) 2pts
7- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) 1pt


Climbing Standings:
1-Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) 26 pts (Climb Leader)
2- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) 22 pts
3- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 20.5 pts
4- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 20.5 pts
5- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 18.5 pts
6- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) 16.5 pts
7- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) 2 pts
8- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) 1.5 pts
9- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) 0.5 pts


Up Next: Day 10: TRAVEL DAY (from San Guano to Kibbutz)

Day 11 Stage 8: Team time trial: Kibbutz to Saint Nash. Distance: 54.8 miles.
A fast stage as quicker riders will have time to make up some ground lost during the mountains. First of 2 team time trials. Teams will be randomly drawn, and each member of the team will leave at the same time. Only the time of the slowest member will count. Teams will leave in 90 second intervals. The fastest rider from each team will earn Sprint points towards the Green Jersey. (10-5-3-1 for the top 4 finishing teams)

TEAM ORDER
1- CAFUNDEU
2- ST. PAUL'S ISLE
3- LOVISA
4- QUAKMYBUSH
5- QAZOX
6- JERUSELEM
7- SATIVAVILLE
8- MCPSYCHOVILLE
9- GREEN WOMBAT
10- RANDOM TOAST


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1917_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

(ooc: I'm going out of town for the next couple of days so no scores until probably tuesday.. WRESTLEMANIA 23 time!!!)

1917 TOUR de QAZOX Stage 8 RESULTS

Stage 8: Team time trial: Kibbutz to Saint Nash. Distance: 54.8 miles.

(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Team Sativaville 1hr: 21min: 56sec
2- Team Jeruselem +0:20 sec
3- Team McPsychoville +0:42 sec
4- Team St. Paul's Isle +1m:05 sec
5- Team Qazox +1m:25 sec
6- Team Lovisa +1m:37 sec
7- Team Quakmybush +1m:56 sec
8- Team Cafundeu +2m:13 sec
9- Team Green wombat +2m:30 sec
10- Team Random Toast +2m:53 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS: (Green is Sprint leader; Red is Climbing Leader)

1- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) 30hr: 57min: 26sec
2- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +0:32 sec
3- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) +0:44 sec
4- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +1m:01 sec
5- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +1m:11 sec
6- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +1m:37 sec
7- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +1m:42 sec
8- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +1m:56 sec
9- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +2m:05 sec
10- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +2m:17 sec
11- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +2m:28 sec
12- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +3m:11 sec
13- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +3m:17 sec
14- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +3m:17 sec
15- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +3m:23 sec
16- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +3m:36 sec
17- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +4m:22 sec
18- Widget (Green wombat) +4m:51 sec
19- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +5m:06 sec
20- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +5m:13 sec
21- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +5m:16 sec
22- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +5m:19 sec
23- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +5m:26 sec
24- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +5m:37 sec
25- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +5m:37 sec
26- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +5m:39 sec
27- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +5m:59 sec
28- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +6m:00 sec
29- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +6m:24 sec
30- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +6m:44 sec
31- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +7m:07 sec
32- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +7m:15 sec
33- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +7m:33 sec
34- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +7m:36 sec
35- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +7m:45 sec
36- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +8m:00 sec
37- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +8m:49 sec



Sprinter Standings:
1- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) 15pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Erica Ericssebn (Sativaville) 10pts
3- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 7pts
4- Lori Steele (Green wombat) 5pts
5- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) 4pts
6- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 4pts
7- Julie Renfro (Qazox) 3pts
8- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) 3pts


Climbing Standings:
1-Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) 26 pts (Climb Leader)
2- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) 22 pts
3- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 20.5 pts
4- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 20.5 pts
5- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 18.5 pts
6- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) 16.5 pts
7- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) 2 pts
8- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) 1.5 pts
9- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) 0.5 pts


Up Next: Day 12 Stage 9: Saint Nash to Saxervilla. Distance: 183 miles. A Long and most likely hot stage as riders travel from the low country towards the beaches of Qazox.


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1917_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

Dazza: OK, girls. Why a meeting? As CEO of Razza Dazza, I want some feedback on the sports gear you are using now. Be honest here, none of this nicety stuff. Just tell Dazza.

Kylie: It's a bit light and not good for cold weather. Otherwise I have no real complaints. Saying all that, I've never found any cycling sports gear good in cold weather.
Dazza: So you want winter versions Kylie?
Kylie: Yeah, if it's possible. But don't make it too heavy, winter gear tends to be rather to heavy for my liking. I know synthetics are lighter but maybe a special wool mixture with a synthetic?

Dazza: Kez, and Annabelle - what about you?
Kez: Could you make stuff more UV protective, I burn too easily in the sun?
Dazza: You burn under the clothing?
Kez: I kinda tan not burn, I used the wrong word. In these days of global warming, the sun is stronger than ever. More UV, I need more protection.
Dazza: So a stronger UV shielding then?
Kez: Yeah, if it's possible.

Dazza: Annabelle, your opinion?
Annabelle: It's a bit, well transparent sometimes.
Dazza: Transparent?
Annabelle: I know you don't really care as you like nudity but sometimes the sun turns the material semi-transparent.
Dazza: Really? Who told you that?
Annabelle: Some man fans, they liked it. I have some photos if you need them Dazza.
Dazza: Might be related to Kez's problem there, so I'll check it out.
Annabelle: Thanks
Dazza: Well, that's a funny one. Well, get our testers to find out why. Anything else?

Kylie: Not really, err - know anything about Jumpy Sports gear.
Dazza: Our rivals, why is that?
Kylie: Oh, they want me to be their pinup girl. You know the CEO of that company?
Dazza: Yeah, I do. Smart guy but he's a bit of control freak.
Kylie: Control freak?
Dazza: Yeah, I dated him once. He's a bit too control freaky for me.
Kylie: Thanks for that. I have to read the contracts really well then?
Dazza: Yeah, get the lawyer to check it. He sneaks in all sorts of strange things in contracts. Anything else you want ask girls?

Kez: Oh yes, some weirdos want to meet you.
Dazza: What kind? I have all sorts of weirdos who want to meet me.
Kylie: Priests from some cult workshopping ISIS
Dazza: The Egyptian goddess married to her brother? What did they want?
Annabelle: They seem to think you are an earthly incarnation of ISIS.
Dazza: Me? A Goddess? That's a new one.
Kez: They were real serious. Oh, this is for you (hands for an Ankh)
Dazza: Nice, I'll talk to them. Oh yesm, I have something for you too! (hands out some packages)

Annabelle: What is it?
Dazza: Our new range of sports bikinis, designed for swimmers and other water sports
Kylie: Slinky!
Kez: Whoa, I should get some guys with this on.
Dazza: See, who says Dazza is stingy.

"Welcome my frrrrriends of Globo Multimedia! Today I'll talk about the tour of Qazox, wherrrre our rrrriders are making a very good perforrrrrmance, especially on mountain stages! Rrrrrricardo Martínez is the first in the climbing standings, and Godô is the second! Let's talk with our rrrreporter, Marrrrriana Lobos!"

"Thanks, Breno. Cafundéu really improved and is doing a great job in the climbing stages. The teamwork between Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso and the experienced Ricardo Martínez is a success. I'll talk with Godofredo now. What do you think about this partnership?"

"It's great. Ricardo is really wise and experienced, and I learnt lots of things with him."

"And you, Ricardo?"

"I couldn't win stages without the help of my team mates. They're so special and important, and it's great to be here now, in such an important competition. I look forward to a possible title in the climbing standings."

"Thanks."

(ooc: I finally got back on.. sorry about the delay in scoring. This also the 1/2way point. But i'll be able to scorinate for the remaining 8 days expect this to end next Wednesday.. just before the World Cup... so no excuses as to not RP...lol)

1917 TOUR de QAZOX Stage 9 RESULTS

Stage 9: Saint Nash to Saxervilla. Distance: 183 miles.

(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) 7hr: 13min: 21sec
2- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +0:06 sec
3- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +0:08sec
4- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +0:18 sec
5- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:22 sec
6- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:27 sec
7- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +0:31 sec
8- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +0:35 sec
9- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +0:38 sec
10- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +0:44 sec
11- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +0:46 sec
12- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +0:46 sec
13- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +0:48 sec
14- Widget (Green wombat) +0:48 sec
15- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +0:54 sec
16- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +0:56 sec
17- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:00 sec
18- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +1m:05 sec
19- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +1m:07 sec
20- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +1m:13 sec
21- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +1m:14 sec
22- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:15 sec
23- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:23 sec
24- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +1m:26 sec
25- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:28 sec
26- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +1m:34 sec
27- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +1m:39 sec
28- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +1m:44 sec
29- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +1m:47 sec
30- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +1m:52 sec
31- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +1m:52 sec
32- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +1m:52 sec
33- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +1m:54 sec
34- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +1m:54 sec
35- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +1m:54 sec
36- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +2m:00 sec
37- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +2m:04 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS: (Green is Sprint leader; Red is Climbing Leader)

1- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) 38hr: 11min: 09sec
2- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) +0:22 sec
3- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +0:57 sec
4- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:33 sec
5- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +1m:42 sec
6- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +1m:51 sec
7- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +2m:29 sec
8- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +2m:41 sec
9- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +2m:41 sec
10- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +2m:43 sec
11- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +3m:01 sec
12- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +3m:35 sec
13- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +3m:50 sec
14- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +3m:57 sec
15- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +4m:14 sec
16- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +4m:35 sec
17- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +4m:47 sec
18- Widget (Green wombat) +5m:17 sec
19- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +5m:58 sec
20- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +5m:59 sec
21- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +6m:10 sec
22- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +6m:15 sec
23- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +6m:25 sec
24- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +6m:25 sec
25- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +6m:46 sec
26- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +6m:54 sec
27- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +7m:01 sec
28- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +7m:17 sec
29- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +7m:19 sec
30- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +7m:30 sec
31- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +8m:09 sec
32- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +8m:25 sec
33- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +8m:29 sec
34- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +8m:39 sec
35- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +9m:17 sec
36- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +9m:32 sec
37- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +9m:40 sec



Sprinter Standings:
1- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) 15pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Erica Ericssebn (Sativaville) 10pts
3- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 7pts
4- Lori Steele (Green wombat) 5pts
5- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) 4pts
6- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 4pts
7- Julie Renfro (Qazox) 3pts
8- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) 3pts


Climbing Standings:
1-Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) 26 pts (Climb Leader)
2- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) 22 pts
3- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 20.5 pts
4- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 20.5 pts
5- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 18.5 pts
6- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) 16.5 pts
7- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) 2 pts
8- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) 1.5 pts
9- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) 0.5 pts


Up Next: Day 13 Stage 10: Saxervilla to Rockport: Distance: 119.8 miles. A ride along the longest stretch of beachfront in Qazox, with a 2000 ft climb just before the end, which will test all.


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1917_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

Halfway through the TOUR and Sativaville surprisingly has 2 riders currently in the top 10. Kevin Storm and Jahine Rex are 9th and 10th respectively and with in 3 minutes of the leader, Kylie Kool of Jeurselem. Most of the tougher stages are done and Kevin and Kylie look to improve their positions in the next couple of days. They would also like to announce that they are now engaged and are going to marry at the finish line, the day after the Tour Ends. We wish the best of luck to the happy couple in both the TOUR and their upcoming nupuials.

(At a Qazox swimming pool)

Dazza: So what's this swimming training for Ricky?
Ricky: Oh, something I found works for cyclists to help improve.
Dazza: So why don't the girls do it all the time?
Ricky: Swimming pools in Jeruselem are hard to find

Dazza: Finding this one was hard enough work then?
Ricky: Sports pros don't like sharing pools with parents and their annoying kids
Dazza: Heated pools are hard to find too
Ricky: You're right about that. Only found in real sports facilities.

Dazza: Doesn't happen much to football teams
Ricky: I guess you guys would need the entire pool to yourself
Dazza: Yeah, and you need a big pool with football team
Ricky: Better swimming facilities here in Qazox too, more water around I guess

Dazza: They seem to like it
Ricky: It's a treat and water training is theraputic
Dazza: Kylie is doing really well this time
Ricky: Great athelete like her father, and got the looks from her mother.

Dazza: So you like those new sports bikinis then? (smiles)
Ricky: What's not to like, last time I saw you swimming you weren't wearing anything
Dazza: That's only at home
Ricky: I think I was some ad ...

Dazza: Oh that ad, hehe! The only way to sell Vodka in Qazox.
Ricky: Never mind you and nudity.
Dazza: Why aren't you in the pool with the team?
Ricky: Bad knees like you Dazza. Being lazy in the pool is OK but none of that exercise stuff

Dazza: You just watch?
Ricky: Well, I'm the coach not the cyclist these days
Dazza: You gotta keep fit too
Ricky: Keeping up with you is exercise enough

Dazza: You think Kylie can win?
Ricky: Yes, she's working hard.
Dazza: Hey, watch out! (Dazza and Ricky get splashed by the Jeruselem team)
Ricky: Not again

Kylie: What are you two up to?
Dazza: Eh, no good!

1917 TOUR de QAZOX Stage 10 RESULTS

Stage 10: Saxervilla to Rockport: Distance: 119.8 miles.

(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) 4hr: 36min: 21sec
2- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +0:11 sec
3- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:13 sec
4- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:17 sec
5- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) +0:19 sec
6- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +0:24 sec
7- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +0:27 sec
8- Widget (Green wombat) +0:32 sec
9- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +0:38 sec
10- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:43 sec
11- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +0:44 sec
12- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +0:49 sec
13- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +0:53 sec
14- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +0:58 sec
15- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:04 sec
16- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +1m:06 sec
17- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +1m:11 sec
18- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +1m:14 sec
19- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +1m:16 sec
20- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:21 sec
21- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +1m:22 sec
22- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +1m:23 sec
23- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +1m:29 sec
24- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +1m:30 sec
25- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +1m:34 sec
26- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +1m:37 sec
27- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +1m:40 sec
28- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +1m:46 sec
29- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:49 sec
30- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +1m:54 sec
31- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +1m:55 sec
32- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +1m:57 sec
33- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +2m:01 sec
34- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +2m:06 sec
35- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +2m:08 sec
36- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +2m:14 sec
37- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +2m:18 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS: (Green is Sprint leader; Red is Climbing Leader)

1- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) 42hr: 47min: 43sec
2- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) +0:28 sec
3- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +1m:08 sec
4- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +1m:46 sec
5- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +2m:04 sec
6- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +2m:27 sec
7- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +2m:31 sec
8- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +3m:08 sec
9- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +3m:11 sec
10- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +3m:22 sec
11- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +3m:37 sec
12- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +4m:04 sec
13- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +4m:05 sec
14- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +5m:00 sec
15- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +5m:22 sec
16- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +5m:36 sec
17- Widget (Green wombat) +5m:36 sec
18- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +6m:08 sec
19- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +6m:51 sec
20- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +7m:08 sec
21- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +7m:10 sec
22- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +7m:16 sec
23- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +7m:16 sec
24- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +7m:25 sec
25- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +7m:46 sec
26- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +7m:52 sec
27- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +8m:19 sec
28- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +8m:39 sec
29- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +8m:59 sec
30- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +9m:24 sec
31- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +9m:57 sec
32- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +10m:05 sec
33- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +10m:09 sec
34- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +10m:34 sec
35- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +11m:18 sec
36- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +11m:21 sec
37- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +11m:25 sec



Sprinter Standings:
1- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) 15pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Erica Ericssebn (Sativaville) 10pts
3- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 7pts
4- Lori Steele (Green wombat) 5pts
5- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) 4pts
6- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 4pts
7- Julie Renfro (Qazox) 3pts
8- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) 3pts


Climbing Standings:
1-Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) 26 pts (Climb Leader)
2- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) 22 pts
3- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 20.5 pts
4- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 20.5 pts
5- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 18.5 pts
6- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) 16.5 pts
7- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) 2 pts
8- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) 1.5 pts
9- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) 0.5 pts


Up Next: Day 14 Stage 11: Rockport to Bruxen: Distance: 90.6 miles. A trip through the Wine Country of Qazox, a reativly easy stage, with a few hills.


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1917_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

<Kylie Kool knocks on Dazza's door>

Dazza: Hey, babe - what you doing in the whorehouse?
Kylie: I want to ask something, well about motherhood. You being an expert.
Dazza: Me? My sister is the real mother, 11 children.
Kylie: Yeah, but she doesn't do a lot of taking.

Dazza: Come in! Mums welcome.
Kylie: I want to start a family but it might mess up my cycling career. I need advise from someone who has children and had a football career.
Dazza: Why now?
Kylie: Dad is dying and I want to have kids for him before he dies.

Dazza: Are you ready?
Kylie: I don't know.
Dazza: Hey, if I can do it so can you. Eh, what's the hurry?
Kylie: If Kevin Storm and Jahine Rex from Sativaville are getting married and having kids, I thought it's my time too.

Dazza: Well, I can't make the decision for you but I think you should. Just plan it so you don't get pregnant at wrong time. You have a tour once a year, but I have World Cups every four so for you it's harder to plan.
Kylie: Your planning doesn't seem to work
Dazza: Well, I'm nympho ... I can't say no. I don't think you have the problem. My kids are never planned.
Kylie: What about Ricky, will he get upset?

Dazza: No, he's a professional Dad with lots of kids. He'll understand.
Kylie: Well, I should have at least one. One for my Dad.
Dazza: Just one?
Kylie: One at the time I guess

Dazza: It's good to have friends like you.
Kylie: We're all family here.
Dazza: What about the other girls?
Kylie: I think they are happily single.

Dazza: Kez sound she's going to be looking around.
Kylie: You might be right.
Dazza: She's young, don't worry.
Kylie: Well I'll think about it. If Kevin Storm and Jahine Rex can do it, so can I.

Dazza: That's the girl. For now, just concentrate on your cycling.
Kylie: I'll have to talk to Kevin Storm and Jahine Rex too.
Dazza: Go ahead, just take the time to make the right decision.

(ooc: sorry but the forums were acting up last night.. at least on my side.. Stage 11 now and stage 12 later tonight...)

1917 TOUR de QAZOX Stage 11 RESULTS

Stage 11: Rockport to Bruxen: Distance: 90.6 miles.

(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) 3hr: 16min: 33sec
2- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +0:04 sec
3- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +0:05 sec
4- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +0:08 sec
5- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +0:09 sec
6- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +0:10 sec
7- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +0:13 sec
8- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +0:15 sec
9- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +0:16 sec
10- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +0:17 sec
11- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +0:21 sec
12- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +0:33 sec
13- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +0:35 sec
14- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +0:36 sec
15- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) +0:44 sec
16- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +0:45 sec
17- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +0:51 sec
18- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +0:52 sec
19- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +0:53 sec
20- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +0:56 sec
21- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +0:57 sec
22- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +1m:04 sec
23- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +1m:06 sec
24- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +1m:08 sec
25- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +1m:09 sec
26- Widget (Green wombat) +1m:10 sec
27- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +1m:11 sec
28- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +1m:16 sec
29- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:17 sec
30- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +1m:20 sec
31- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +1m:21 sec
32- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +1m:22 sec
33- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +1m:25 sec
34- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +1m:31 sec
35- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +1m:32 sec
36- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:35 sec
37- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +1:36 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS: (Green is Sprint leader; Red is Climbing Leader)

1- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) 46hr: 05min: 22sec
2- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) +0:06 sec
3- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +1m:06 sec
4- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +1m:48 sec
5- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +2m:10 sec
6- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +2m:33 sec
7- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +2m:52 sec
8- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +3m:04 sec
9- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +3m:11 sec
10- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +3m:16 sec
11- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +3m:48 sec
12- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +4m:19 sec
13- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +4m:34 sec
14- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +4m:45 sec
15- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +5m:05 sec
16- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +5m:09 sec
17- Widget (Green wombat) +5m:40 sec
18- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +6m:24 sec
19- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +6m:24 sec
20- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +6m:37 sec
21- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +6m:40 sec
22- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +6m:46 sec
23- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +7m:01 sec
24- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +7m:18 sec
25- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +7m:18 sec
26- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +7m:21 sec
27- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +7m:42 sec
28- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +8m:39 sec
29- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +8m:54 sec
30- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +9m:04 sec
31- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +9m:07 sec
32- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +9m:13 sec
33- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +9m:18 sec
34- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +9m:43 sec
35- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +10m:24 sec
36- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +10m:29 sec
37- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +10m:35 sec



Sprinter Standings:
1- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) 15pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Erica Ericssebn (Sativaville) 10pts
3- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 7pts
4- Lori Steele (Green wombat) 5pts
5- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) 4pts
6- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 4pts
7- Julie Renfro (Qazox) 3pts
8- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) 3pts


Climbing Standings:
1-Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) 26 pts (Climb Leader)
2- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) 22 pts
3- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 20.5 pts
4- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 20.5 pts
5- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 18.5 pts
6- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) 16.5 pts
7- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) 2 pts
8- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) 1.5 pts
9- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) 0.5 pts


Up Next: Day 15: Stage 12: Individual Time Trial: Bruxen, Qazox to Cuex City, Poolshrimpers. Riders will leave in inverse order of Overall standings. The road taken is a fast one with little to no changes in elevation, making it the fastest stage (speeds of over 35MPH are possible).


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1917_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

1917 TOUR de QAZOX Stage 12 RESULTS

Stage 12: Individual Time Trial: Bruxen, Qazox to Cuex City, Poolshrimpers. Distance: 80 miles.

(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) 2hr: 22min: 53sec
2- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +0:03 sec
3- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +0:07 sec
4- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +0:09 sec
5- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +0:13 sec
6- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +0:19 sec
7- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +0:20 sec
8- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +0:22 sec
9- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +0:23 sec
10- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +0:29 sec
11- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +0:34 sec
12- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +0:37 sec
13- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +0:41 sec
14- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +0:46 sec
15- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +0:47 sec
16- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +0:50 sec
17- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +0:52 sec
18- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +0:58 sec
19- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +1m:01 sec
20- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +1m:03 sec
21- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +1m:08 sec
22- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:10 sec
23- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +1m:16 sec
24- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +1m:19 sec
25- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +1:20 sec
26- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +1m:26 sec
27- Widget (Green wombat) +1m:30 sec
28- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +1m:34 sec
29- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +1m:37 sec
30- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +1m:42 sec
31- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +1m:43 sec
32- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +1m:44 sec
33- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +1m:49 sec
34- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) +1m:55 sec
35- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:58 sec
36- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +1m:59 sec
37- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +2m:05 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS: (Green is Sprint leader; Red is Climbing Leader)

1- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) 49hr: 29min: 58sec
2- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) +0:18 sec
3- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +1m:27 sec
4- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +2m:04 sec
5- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +2m:16 sec
6- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +2m:47 sec
7- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +2m:48 sec
8- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +2m:53 sec
9- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +3m:03 sec
10- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +3m:10 sec
11- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +3m:39 sec
12- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +3m:52 sec
13- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +3m:56 sec
14- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +4m:00 sec
15- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +4m:11 sec
16- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +4m:36 sec
17- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +5m:00 sec
18- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +5m:03 sec
19- Widget (Green wombat) +5m:27 sec
20- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +5m:31 sec
21- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +5m:53 sec
22- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +6m:07 sec
23- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +6m:19 sec
24- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +6m:21 sec
25- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +6m:25 sec
26- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +6m:38 sec
27- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +7m:07 sec
28- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +7m:19 sec
29- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +7m:21 sec
30- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +7m:33 sec
31- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +7m:52 sec
32- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +7m:59 sec
33- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +8m:20 sec
34- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +8m:27 sec
35- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +8m:59 sec
36- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +8m:59 sec
37- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +9m:00 sec



Sprinter Standings:
1- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) 25pts (Sprint Champion)
2- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 14pts
3- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) 10pts
4- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) 9pts
5- Lori Steele (Green wombat) 7pts
6- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) 7pts
7- Julie Renfro (Qazox) 6pts
8- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 5pts

Please note that with only one sprinting points stage left, Annabelle Dosha cannot be caught for the green jersey.

Climbing Standings:
1-Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) 26 pts (Climb Leader)
2- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) 22 pts
3- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 20.5 pts
4- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 20.5 pts
5- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 18.5 pts
6- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) 16.5 pts
7- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) 2 pts
8- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) 1.5 pts
9- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) 0.5 pts


Up Next: Day 16 Stage 13: Cuex City, Pool Shrimpers to Lorax City, Qazox. 100 miles. This stage is basically a mountain stage that favors speed, as the riders head back into Qazox.


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1917_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

Dazza: This is the Village Bike and I'm with sprint champion Annabelle Dosha. Well done, two stage wins and you helped keep Kylie as leader.
Annabelle: Thanks Dazza, yes I'm happy but we must push Kylie over the line still.
Dazza: You beat so many men to the sprint title. A woman beating men, in sprinting. Some people think you are using illegal means.
Annabelle: I'm just an ordinary woman like any other. If you train right, you can win - man or woman.

Dazza: This year, women are doing well. Why do think that?
Annabelle: We are trying harder because we want prove something.
Dazza: And what is that?
Annabelle: Women can do as well as men. Being a women is not disadvantage and we are not some subspecies.

Dazza: Elly Bean didn't do well this year, in fact barely in the top 10 sprinters. Any theories? Last winner just flopped.
Annabelle: I don't know but Elly did not perform at all. Nothing like last year's performance.
Dazza: Good luck with team for next few stages.
Annabelle: Thanks Dazza. I may not like your antics but as a woman the team appreciates the help you provide a high performing athelete in football. We do learn from how a veteran handles her career.

Dazza: What's your message to the cyclists out there?
Annabelle: People, it's a cheap sport anyone can try and if you're good enough you could be here with us winning titles. Just try it. It's not mutuall exclusive sport, you can play football and be a cyclist too.
Dazza: Good message, I agree with it.
Annabelle: I hope the people out there are thinking out just doing a little cycling. It's a family sport too.

Forum problems once again have caused me to not post the results. Stage 13 will be up sometime on Easter Sunday.

1917 TOUR de QAZOX Stage 13 RESULTS

Stage 13: Cuex City, Pool Shrimpers to Lorax City, Qazox. 100 miles. (ooc: this counts as last mountain stage)

(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) 3hr: 41min: 12sec
2- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +0:06 sec
3- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +0:10 sec
4- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +0:11 sec
5- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +0:12 sec
6- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +0:17 sec
7- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +0:19 sec
8- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +0:24 sec
9- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +0:27 sec
10- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +0:28 sec
11- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +0:32 sec
12- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +0:33 sec
13- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +0:34 sec
14- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +0:40 sec
15- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) +0:42 sec
16- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +0:43 sec
17- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +0:46 sec
18- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +0:48 sec
19- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +0:50 sec
20- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +0:51 sec
21- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:54sec
22- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +0:58 sec
23- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +1m:01 sec
24- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +1m:02 sec
25- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +1m:08 sec
26- Widget (Green wombat) +1m:10 sec
27- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +1m:14 sec
28- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +1m:19 sec
29- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +1m:21 sec
30- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +1m:27 sec
31- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:29 sec
32- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +1m:32 sec
33- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +1m:33 sec
34- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:37 sec
35- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +1m:42 sec
36- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +1m:46 sec
37- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +1:48 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS: (Green is Sprint Champion; Red is Climbing Champion)

1-Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) 53hr: 12min: 02sec
2- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:20 sec
3- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +1m:40 sec
4- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +2m:08 sec
5- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +2m:10 sec
6- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +2m:47 sec
7- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +3m:24 sec
8- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +3m:32 sec
9- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +3m:37 sec
10- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +3m:42 sec
11- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +3m:51 sec
12- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +4m:02 sec
13- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +4m:31 sec
14- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +4m:33 sec
15- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +4m:36 sec
16- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +4m:40 sec
17- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +4m:42 sec
18- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +5m:11 sec
19- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +5m:34 sec
20- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +5m:38 sec
21- Widget (Green wombat) +5m:49 sec
22- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +6m:17 sec
23- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +6m:17 sec
24- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +6m:31 sec
25- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +6m:50 sec
26- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +7m:00 sec
27- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +7m:04 sec
28- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +7m:04 sec
29- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +7m:06 sec
30- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +7m:07 sec
31- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +7m:23 sec
32- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +7m:38 sec
33- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +8m:21 sec
34- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +8m:22 sec
35- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +8m:23 sec
36- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +8m:36 sec
37- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +9m:00 sec



Sprinter Standings:
1- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) 25 pts (Sprint Champion)
2- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 14 pts
3- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) 10 pts
4- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) 9 pts
5- Lori Steele (Green wombat) 7 pts
6- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) 7 pts
7- Julie Renfro (Qazox) 6 pts
8- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 5 pts

Please note that with only one sprinting points stage left, Annabelle Dosha cannot be caught for the green jersey.

Climbing Standings:
1-Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) 26 pts (Climb Champion)
2- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) 22 pts
3- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 20.5 pts
4- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 20.5 pts
5- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 18.5 pts
6- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) 16.5 pts
7- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) 12 pts
8- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 7 pts
9- Julie Renfro (Qazox) 5 pts
10- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) 4 pts
11- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) 3 pts
12- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) 2 pts
13- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) 1.5 pts
14-Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) 1 pt
15- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) 0.5 pts


Up Next: Day 17 Stage 14: Lorax City to Pika City, Qazox Distance: 166 miles. Another long stage, in a TOUR full of them. A rest day tomorrow (ooc: Easter was the Rest Day...lol) and the final 3 stages loom as the end begins.


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1917_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

Dazza: Hi, I'm the Village Bike and this is our own Kylie Kool.
Kylie: If you've been watching the Tour de Qazox with me and the girls, and you want to do for real then listen further.

Dazza: Cycling Jeruselem is holding an open day so you and family can find out what professional cycling is all about.
Kylie: You can even get to ride a bike, err, not the Village Bike over here.

Dazza: Yes, they'll be free food and cycling celebrities too like Ricky Pointy Stick himself.
Kylie: You don't have sign up or anything, just turn up.

Dazza: I'm a footballer and I think cycling a good for everyone too. Not everyone can play in a World cup or ride in the Tour de Qazox, but anyone with two legs can ride a bike. An disabled people can cycle too with special bikes.
Kylie: So if you want a career on cycling, please turn up to the open day. The details will be on screen.

Dazza: Please bring the kids too, they'll love it too. My crazy daughter Kate did a test run for the kids out there and she loved it. When it comes to fun, she's fussy, err just like her Mum.
Kylie: Cycling is a family sport, grandpa can cycle as well as little kids provided you follow safety rules of course

Dazza: Oh yes, don't bring your dog, cat, rabbit or alligator along unless it's a guide dog or something like that.
Kylie: No animals unless they are guide animals normally dogs.

Dazza: They'll be special bus routes for those who don't want to drive there.
Kylie: Take the buses, and leave the car at home for the day.

Dazza: Oh, Dazza's going be there to cover the event.
Kylie: Any free rides Dazza?

Dazza: Depends who asks (smiles)
Kylie: As Dazza says, on ya bike!

1917 TOUR de QAZOX Stage 14 RESULTS

Stage 14: Lorax City to Pika City, Qazox Distance: 166 miles

(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) 5hr: 46min: 11sec
2- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:02 sec
3- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:03 sec
4- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +0:05 sec
5- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +0:09 sec
6- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +0:13 sec
7- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +0:18 sec
8- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +0:23 sec
9- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:26 sec
10- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +0:32 sec
11- Widget (Green wombat) +0:34 sec
12- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +0:38 sec
13- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +0:44 sec
14- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +0:45 sec
15- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +0:50 sec
16- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +0:51 sec
17- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +0:52 sec
18- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +0:54 sec
19- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +0:59 sec
20- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +1m:02 sec
21- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +1m:05 sec
22- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +1m:11 sec
23- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +1m:14 sec
24- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +1m:20 sec
25- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +1m:21 sec
26- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +1m:26 sec
27- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +1m:28 sec
28- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +1m:33 sec
29- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +1m:39 sec
30- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:43 sec
31- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +1m:44 sec
32- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +1m:48 sec
33- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +1m:49 sec
34- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +1m:53 sec
35- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +1m:55 sec
36- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +1m:58 sec
37- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +2m:04 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS: (Green is Sprint Champion; Red is Climbing Champion)

1- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) 53hr: 12min: 02sec
2- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:22 sec
3- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +1m:45 sec
4- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +2m:13 sec
5- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +2m:31 sec
6- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +3m:05 sec
7- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +3m:50 sec
8- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +4m:04 sec
9- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +4m:04 sec
10- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +4m:15 sec
11- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +4m:32 sec
12- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +4m:42 sec
13- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +5m:01 sec
14- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +5m:23 sec
15- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +5m:25 sec
16- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +5m:47 sec
17- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +5m:55 sec
18- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +6m:02 sec
19- Widget (Green wombat) +6m:23 sec
20- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +6m:28 sec
21- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +6m:52 sec
22- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +7m:37 sec
23- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +7m:45 sec
24- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +7m:57 sec
25- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +8m:06 sec
26- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +8m:11 sec
27- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +8m:28 sec
28- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +8m:35 sec
29- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +8m:39 sec
30- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +8m:47 sec
31- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +9m:07 sec
32- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +9m:31 sec
33- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +9m:56 sec
34- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +10m:15 sec
35- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +10m:17 sec
36- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +10m:19 sec
37- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +10m:48 sec



Sprinter Standings:
1- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) 25 pts (Sprint Champion)
2- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 14 pts
3- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) 10 pts
4- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) 9 pts
5- Lori Steele (Green wombat) 7 pts
6- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) 7 pts
7- Julie Renfro (Qazox) 6 pts
8- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 5 pts

Please note that with only one sprinting points stage left, Annabelle Dosha cannot be caught for the green jersey.

Climbing Standings:
1-Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) 26 pts (Climb Champion)
2- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) 22 pts
3- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 20.5 pts
4- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 20.5 pts
5- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 18.5 pts
6- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) 16.5 pts
7- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) 12 pts
8- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 7 pts
9- Julie Renfro (Qazox) 5 pts
10- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) 4 pts
11- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) 3 pts
12- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) 2 pts
13- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) 1.5 pts
14-Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) 1 pt
15- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) 0.5 pts


Up Next: Day 18 Stage 15: Pika City to Las Vitas Distance: 83 miles. This stage was supposed to be Stage 15: Las Vitas to Carlovia , but due to flooding in the Carlovia river valley a stage from Pika City to Las Vitas will be run instead. The Travel day on Day 18 will be moved to Day 19 as teams will fly from Las Vitas to Carlovia. We apologize for the change, but it was beyond our control. The flooding will not affect Stages 16 or 17, as they take place north of the river valley. Thank you again for your understanding in this matter.


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1917_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

1917 TOUR de QAZOX Stage 14 RESULTS

Stage 14: Lorax City to Pika City, Qazox Distance: 166 miles

(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) 5hr: 46min: 11sec
2- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:02 sec
3- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:03 sec
4- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +0:05 sec
5- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +0:09 sec
6- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +0:13 sec
7- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +0:18 sec
8- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +0:23 sec
9- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:26 sec
10- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +0:32 sec
11- Widget (Green wombat) +0:34 sec
12- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +0:38 sec
13- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +0:44 sec
14- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +0:45 sec
15- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +0:50 sec
16- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +0:51 sec
17- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +0:52 sec
18- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +0:54 sec
19- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +0:59 sec
20- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +1m:02 sec
21- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +1m:05 sec
22- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +1m:11 sec
23- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +1m:14 sec
24- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +1m:20 sec
25- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +1m:21 sec
26- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +1m:26 sec
27- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +1m:28 sec
28- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +1m:33 sec
29- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +1m:39 sec
30- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:43 sec
31- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +1m:44 sec
32- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +1m:48 sec
33- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +1m:49 sec
34- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +1m:53 sec
35- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +1m:55 sec
36- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +1m:58 sec
37- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +2m:04 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS: (Green is Sprint Champion; Red is Climbing Champion)

1- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) 58hr: 58min: 13sec
2- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:22 sec
3- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +1m:45 sec
4- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +2m:13 sec
5- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +2m:31 sec
6- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +3m:05 sec
7- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +3m:50 sec
8- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +4m:04 sec
9- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +4m:04 sec
10- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +4m:15 sec
11- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +4m:32 sec
12- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +4m:42 sec
13- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +5m:01 sec
14- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +5m:23 sec
15- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +5m:25 sec
16- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +5m:47 sec
17- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +5m:55 sec
18- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +6m:02 sec
19- Widget (Green wombat) +6m:23 sec
20- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +6m:28 sec
21- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +6m:52 sec
22- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +7m:37 sec
23- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +7m:45 sec
24- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +7m:57 sec
25- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +8m:06 sec
26- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +8m:11 sec
27- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +8m:28 sec
28- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +8m:35 sec
29- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +8m:39 sec
30- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +8m:47 sec
31- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +9m:07 sec
32- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +9m:31 sec
33- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +9m:56 sec
34- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +10m:15 sec
35- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +10m:17 sec
36- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +10m:19 sec
37- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +10m:48 sec



Sprinter Standings:
1- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) 25 pts (Sprint Champion)
2- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 14 pts
3- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) 10 pts
4- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) 9 pts
5- Lori Steele (Green wombat) 7 pts
6- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) 7 pts
7- Julie Renfro (Qazox) 6 pts
8- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 5 pts

Please note that with only one sprinting points stage left, Annabelle Dosha cannot be caught for the green jersey.

Climbing Standings:
1-Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) 26 pts (Climb Champion)
2- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) 22 pts
3- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 20.5 pts
4- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 20.5 pts
5- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 18.5 pts
6- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) 16.5 pts
7- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) 12 pts
8- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 7 pts
9- Julie Renfro (Qazox) 5 pts
10- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) 4 pts
11- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) 3 pts
12- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) 2 pts
13- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) 1.5 pts
14-Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) 1 pt
15- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) 0.5 pts


Up Next: Day 18 Stage 15: Pika City to Las Vitas Distance: 83 miles. This stage was supposed to be Stage 15: Las Vitas to Carlovia , but due to flooding in the Carlovia river valley a stage from Pika City to Las Vitas will be run instead. The Travel day on Day 18 will be moved to Day 19 as teams will fly from Las Vitas to Carlovia. We apologize for the change, but it was beyond our control. The flooding will now affect Stages 16 or 17, as they take place north of the river valley. Thank you again for your understanding in this matter.


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1917_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

Dazza: Hey Kylie, what's the matter?
Kylie: Oh just frustrated.
Dazza: Coming second twice in two stages by two seconds?
Kylie: It's like you're going nowhere

Dazza: Hey, you can still win. 22 seconds! It's not much, just a little luck and you can beat that Ray fella.
Kylie: You sure?
Dazza: I want you standing there with a big cup just like me during one of those Women's World Cups.
Kylie: I'm not sure if I can do it.

Dazza: You can, hey Ricky!
Ricky: Hi girls, what's up with Kylie here.
Dazza: She needs some confidence.
Ricky: Come on, you can do it Kylie. Do it for your Dad.

Dazza: You have push on, because there's no one else who can win it for you.
Ricky: There's no shame in coming second either.
Kylie: Well, it's all or nothing I guess. There is no backing down I guess.
Dazza: This is big one, you're close enough to win it. There's no time to waiver or hesistate.

Ricky: All you have to is do your best Kylie.
Dazza: No point holding back now, it's yours to win.
Kylie: You are right, why am I doubting myself. It's time to make my own destiny.
Dazza: See, tomorrow - go out there and kick some ass.

Ricky: Oh, where's Kez?
Dazza: Apparently a hot date or something.
Ricky: Err, now?
Dazza: Don't ask me

Kylie: Wasn't she getting too friendly with the team physio?
Dazza: Hey, that's my job.
Ricky: You're a bad influence sometimes Dazza.
Kylie: Nah, Kez is getting clucky too.

PotheadCycling.com

Well with only 3 stages left until the Wedding of the Year, the TOUR is also near the end and surprisingly, Sativaville still has a chance, granted a slim one to win the 1917 TOUR de QAZOX. Team Pothead is the only team that has all of its riders in the top 20. Lead by Jahine Rex who is just over 4 minutes back. While that amount my be too much to overcome the fight between Kylie Kool and Ray Hedler, a top 5 finish is possible.


As for the Wedding of Kevin Storm and Jahine Rex, Qazoxian officals will allow the couple to marry in Qazian Memorial Stadium, after some misunderstanding between the two parties was resolved. The only change, the wedding will take place at the finish line, the DAY of the final stage, as a prelude to the awards ceremony. As such, all riders are invited to the weeding of course as will over 60,000 fans in attendence. Ms. Rex would like to ask Ms. Kylie Kool of Jeruselem to be her Maid of Honor, while Kevin Storm has asked Alan O'Neill of Qazox to be the Best Man. As of yet neither party has responded to the requests.

PotheadCycling.com
Ms. Rex would like to ask Ms. Kylie Kool of Jeruselem to be her Maid of Honor, while Kevin Storm has asked Alan O'Neill of Qazox to be the Best Man. As of yet neither party has responded to the requests.

Dazza: (looking through the mail) Kylie, this is yours.
Kylie: Mail, for me?
Dazza: The dirty pictures are for me, so don't worry.
Kylie: (opens letter) Oooh, a wedding!

Dazza: For who?
Kylie: That Jahine Rex from the stoned nation, err Sativaville. I'm going to be maid of honour!
Dazza: There you go, practice for the future.
Kylie: What am I supposed to wear?

Dazza: What about that dress I gave you?
Kylie: Well, it is the only other thing I could wear as I don't have much else which isn't sportswear.
Dazza: You can't go naked (smiles)
Kylie: You would

Dazza: I would too, but hey enjoy!
Kylie: Ooooooh, a wedding. I want my own.
Dazza: When we get back home, I'll help you out.
Kylie: But you have a football team to coach?

Dazza: Don't worry, it's all under control.

Alan O'Neill opened his mail in the Hotel Lobby and was stunned to see an invitation to the Wedding of Kevin Storm and Jahine Rex, and that he was asked to be the best man.

"Why me? Why not Darrin McBride, his mentor? I'm just someone who helped convince the TOUR to go International." Alan muttered to his teammates in the elevator up to their room

"I think I know why you don't wanna do it, 'cause you're afraid that at the reception, you'll forget that you're married and start hitting on Julie here." snickered Frank Refth.

"Oh grow up, you know I'm a lesbian Frank, besides I think that it's an honor that Kevin wants you to be his best man, from what I've heard, Darrin McBride and Kevin had a falling out last year, and only in interest of the team they even speak." Julie Renfro answered.

"Dude, just do it, man, It'll show that we, as a people, care about other nationals, that will help in the upcoming Women's World Cup." Jeff Holl interjected.

"Fine, i'll do it, but guess what, i'm asking kevin to have you all involved too, Frank and Jeff look like good ushers to me, and Julie, I'm sure you could pull of being the flower girl...." Alan said, as the elevator doors opened, leaving behind 3 stunned teammates.

1917 TOUR de QAZOX Stage 15 RESULTS

Stage 15: Pika City to Las Vitas Distance: 83 miles.

(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) 1hr: 41min :04 sec
2- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +0:03 sec
3- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +0:04 sec
4- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +0:09 sec
5- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +0:10 sec
6- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +0:13 sec
7- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +0:14 sec
8- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +0:20 sec
9- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +0:21 sec
10- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +0:22 sec
11- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +0:28 sec
12- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +0:31 sec
13- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +0:33 sec
14- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +0:36 sec
15- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +0:40 sec
16- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +0:43 sec
17- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +0:49 sec
18- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +0:54 sec
19- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +0:55 sec
20- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) +1m:00 sec
21- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +1m:02 sec
22- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +1m:08 sec
23- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:10 sec
24- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +1m:13 sec
25- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +1m:17 sec
26- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +1m:23 sec
27- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +1m:26 sec
28- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +1m:27 sec
29- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +1m:30 sec
30- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +1m:32 sec
31- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +1m:34 sec
32- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +1m:35 sec
33- Widget (Green wombat) +1m:39 sec
34- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +1m:40 sec
35- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +1m:42 sec
36- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +1m:47 sec
37- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:49 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS: (Green is Sprint Champion; Red is Climbing Champion)

1- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) 60hr: 40min: 17sec
2- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:30 sec
3- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +2m:11 sec
4- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +2m:26 sec
5- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +2m:41 sec
6- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +2m:43 sec
7- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +4m:03 sec
8- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +4m:17 sec
9- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +4m:22 sec
10- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +4m:39 sec
11- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +4m:46 sec
12- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +5m:03 sec
13- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +5m:04 sec
14- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +5m:09 sec
15- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +5m:12 sec
16- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +5m:29 sec
17- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +6m:11 sec
18- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +6m:25 sec
19- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +6m:27 sec
20- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +6m:35 sec
21- Widget (Green wombat) +7m:02 sec
22- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +7m:24 sec
23- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +7m:31 sec
24- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +7m:43 sec
25- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +7m:47 sec
26- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +8m:03 sec
27- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +8m:07 sec
28- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +8m:08 sec
29- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +8m:16 sec
30- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +8m:20 sec
31- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +8m:40 sec
32- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +8m:52 sec
33- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +9m:22 sec
34- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +9m:25 sec
35- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +9m:37 sec
36- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +10m:13 sec
37- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +11m:15 sec



Sprinter Standings:
1- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) 25 pts (Sprint Champion)
2- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 14 pts
3- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) 10 pts
4- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) 9 pts
5- Lori Steele (Green wombat) 7 pts
6- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) 7 pts
7- Julie Renfro (Qazox) 6 pts
8- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 5 pts

Please note that with only one sprinting points stage left, Annabelle Dosha cannot be caught for the green jersey.

Climbing Standings:
1-Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) 26 pts (Climb Champion)
2- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) 22 pts
3- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 20.5 pts
4- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 20.5 pts
5- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 18.5 pts
6- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) 16.5 pts
7- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) 12 pts
8- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 7 pts
9- Julie Renfro (Qazox) 5 pts
10- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) 4 pts
11- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) 3 pts
12- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) 2 pts
13- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) 1.5 pts
14-Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) 1 pt
15- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) 0.5 pts


Up Next: Day 19 TRAVEL DAY (Las Vitas to Carlovia)
Day 20 Stage 16: TEAM TIME TRIAL Carlovia to Carlovia, Distance 49 miles. The 2nd team time trial (a TOUR First) that consists of 2 24.5 mile laps on Highway 7.2 which circles the city. The Order of teams leaving are in the Inverse order of finish at the 1st Team Time Trial, with teams leaving in 90 second intervals:

Team Order:
1- Random Toast
2- Green wombat
3- Cafundeu
4- Quakmybush
5- Lovisa
6- Qazox
7- St. Paul's Isle
8- McPsychoville
9- Jeruselem
10- Sativaville


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1917_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

Kylie: Ray is too good (sobs)
Dazza: Hey, it's only 30 seconds. There is still hope!
Kylie: I'm going backwards.
Dazza: Now now, the fat lady isn't singing yet.

Kylie: Maybe I just need a break.
Dazza: Eh, want to look at my wedding photos?
Kylie: Yeah?
Dazza: To put your mind on other things for now.

Kylie: Good idea.

<Dazza turns on her laptop>

Dazza: Here is me and Finn in the middle of Jerusalem United stadium saying our vows in front of 100,000 football fans, and all my friends.
Kylie: 100,000 people? Wow. I don't I'm going that far.
Dazza: Here is me getting carried into the stadium by the World Cup team
Kylie: Funny way to get around!

Dazza: Here is my bridesmaid Monique Alexander hassling my husband
Kylie: He looks embarassed
Dazza: This is my sister Debbie and her daughter Rashina looking good
Kylie: Rashina looks drunk

Dazza: She was. Her Mum is holding her up. Oh look, this is me throwing the Bouquet!
Kylie: Err, you're kicking it ... oh, you are a football player.
Dazza: There's Rashina diving to catch the Bouquet
Kylie: She sure wants to get married

Dazza: That's Bob Fumbles, my husband's brother chatting up my friend Monique
Kylie: His hands are in funny place
Dazza: There's Wayne Wastle and his wife
Kylie: She's really good looking

Dazza: There's your Mum and Dad resting
Kylie: Dad looked so healthier then, Mum looked so much younger too
Dazza: Hey, there's you sleeping.
Kylie: That's me? I look funny then

Dazza: There's my Dad talking my Mum, you know my Mum's husband is not my Dad - it' Debbies.
Kylie: They look like couple sometimes
Dazza: There's a bunch of cheerleaders embarassing a guest
Kylie: That's funny

Dazza: That's Anna Goldstein with her kids.
Kylie: Oh yes, she's related to me because of my mother.
Dazza: That's me and Finn cutting the cake, the very large cake. One tower of a cake ...
Kylie: It's taller than you!

Dazza: That's me falling on top of Ricky Pointy Stick
Kylie: I don't think it was an accident Dazza
Dazza: Rachel Pointy Stick dancing with my husband, he looks very uncomfortable
Kylie: She's quite good looking. I think it's time I had my own wedding now! It's settled.

1917 TOUR de QAZOX Stage 15 RESULTS

Stage 15: Pika City to Las Vitas Distance: 83 miles.

(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Team Qazox 1hr: 16min: 44sec
2- Team Sativaville +0:17 sec
3- Team Quakmybush +0:33 sec
4- Team Jeruselem +0:44 sec
5- Team Green wombat +1m:03 sec
6- Team McPsychoville +1m:18 sec
7- Team Cafundeu +1m:33 sec
8- Team St Pauls Isle +1m:44 sec
9- Team Random Toast +1m:54 sec
10- Team Lovisa +2m:04 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS: (Green is Sprint Champion; Red is Climbing Champion)
1- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) 61hr: 58min: 15sec
2- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) +0:08 sec
3- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +2m:30 sec
4- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +2m:45 sec
5- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +3m:00 sec
6- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +3m:08 sec
7- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +3m:36 sec
8- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +3m:50 sec
9- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +3m:53 sec
10- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +4m:33 sec
11- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +4m:42 sec
12- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +4m:57 sec
13- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +4m:58 sec
14- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +5m:21 sec
15- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +6m:00 sec
16- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +6m:03 sec
17- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +6m:06 sec
18- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +6m:11 sec
19- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +6m:39 sec
20- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +7m:03 sec
21- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +7m:13 sec
22- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +7m:13 sec
23- Widget (Green wombat) +7m:21 sec
24- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +7m:50 sec
25- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +8m:08 sec
26- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +8m:09 sec
27- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +8m:22 sec
28- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +8m:46 sec
29- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +9m:06 sec
30- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +9m:28 sec
31- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +9m:36 sec
32- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +9m:44 sec
33- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +10m:00 sec
34- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +10m:02 sec
35- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +10m:02 sec
36- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +11m:15 sec
37- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +11m:53 sec



Sprinter Standings:
1- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) 28 pts (Sprint Champion)
2- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) 17 pts
3- Julie Renfro (Qazox) 16 pts
3- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 14 pts
5- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) 9 pts
6- Lori Steele (Green wombat) 8 pts
7- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) 7 pts
8- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 5 pts
9- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) 5 pts


Climbing Standings:
1-Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) 26 pts (Climb Champion)
2- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) 22 pts
3- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 20.5 pts
4- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 20.5 pts
5- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 18.5 pts
6- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) 16.5 pts
7- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) 12 pts
8- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 7 pts
9- Julie Renfro (Qazox) 5 pts
10- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) 4 pts
11- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) 3 pts
12- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) 2 pts
13- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) 1.5 pts
14-Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) 1 pt
15- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) 0.5 pts


Up Next: Day 21 Stage 17: Carlovia to Qazox City: Distance: 43.6 miles A quick trip down Route 4.0 and a lap around Qazian Memorial Stadium is all that await the riders before the wedding of Kevin Storm and Jahine Rex, which will be followed by the champions ceremony. Good luck to all and welcome to the end. Since the top 2 riders are so close in time, it's doubtful that the Leader's Privilege will be in effect.

(ooc: The Leader's Privilege is like the RL Tour de France in that the leader entering the final stage will basically win the Tour, as most riders nearest to the time will ride with the champion as an honor guard[so to speak] instead of trying to win the race. [Usually the leader is far enough ahead that it won't matter anyway])



(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1917_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

Kylie: Thanks team! I'm the lead again.
Kez: That's why we are here.
Annabelle: No problems, just one more stage. It's only 8 seconds though, so you have to keep that Ray Pedler away from you.
Kylie: Just stay here, I'll be back.

(changes)

Kylie: How I look?
Kez: Like a bridesmaid should. All glam!
Annabelle: I wish looked like that sometimes.

Kylie: So, I'm alright for the wedding?
Kez: Only Dazza would look better, but yeah.
Annabelle: You look fine. That Rex girl should be impressed too.

Kez: Where did that come from?
Kylie: Dazza gave it to me.
Kez: Oh, what the hell are we going to wear? Can't look like this during a wedding.
Annabelle: Oh yes. I forgot

Kylie: I guess you'll have raid Dazza's wardrobe.
Kez: But she's so small, won't fit me or Annabelle.
Kylie: You'll have to shopping then.
Annabelle: I left my credit card at home.

Kez: Me too, damn.
Kylie: Err, mines maxed out.
Kez: Here's Dazza, she's cashed up.
Dazza: Cashed up? What you plotting?

Kylie: Kez and Annabelle need some money for shopping. Dress shopping that is.
Dazza: I thought you had credit cards.
Kez: Left them at home
Dazza: OK OK, how much?

Kez: 1000 should do.
Dazza: (counting notes) Here 500 each
Kez: Thanks
Annabelle: We'll will pay you back.

Dazza: Don't go misspending it
Kez: We do stay away from nightclubs Dazza

(ooc: Sorry couldn't get on last night)

1917 TOUR de QAZOX Stage 17 RESULTS

Stage 17: Carlovia to Qazox City: Distance: 43.6 miles

(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) 1hr: 10min: 08sec
2- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +0:01 sec
3- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +0:04 sec
4- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +0:04 sec
5- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +0:06 sec
6- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +0:09 sec
7- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +0:09 sec
8- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +0:09 sec
9- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +0:21 sec
10- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +0:21 sec
11- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +0:22 sec
12- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +0:26 sec
13- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +0:29 sec
14- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +0:35 sec
15- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +0:40 sec
16- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +0:40 sec
17- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +0:40 sec
18- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +0:43 sec
19- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +0:45 sec
20- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +0:53 sec
21- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +0:58 sec
22- Widget (Green wombat) +0:58 sec
23- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +1m:04 sec
24- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +1m:04 sec
25- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +1m:04 sec
26- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +1m:04 sec
27- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +1m:04 sec
28- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +1m:07 sec
29- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +1m:09 sec
30- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:12 sec
31- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +1m:17sec
32- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +1m:19 sec
33- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +1m:23 sec
34- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +1m:25 sec
35- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +1m:25 sec
36- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) +1m:28 sec
37- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +1m:28 sec



FINAL STANDINGS: (Green is Sprint Champion; Red is Climbing Champion)
1- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) 63hr: 09min: 40sec
2- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) +0:19 sec
3- Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) +2m:41 sec
4- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) +2m:53 sec
5- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +2m:59 sec
6- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +3m:00 sec
7- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat) +3m:08 sec
8- Jahine Rex (Sativaville) +3m:31 sec
9- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundeu) +3m:42 sec
10- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) +3m:47 sec
11- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +3m:56 sec
12- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +3m:59 sec
13- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +4m:01 sec
14- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +4m:39 sec
15- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +5m:47 sec
16- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +5m:56 sec
17- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) +6m:02 sec
18- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) +6m:05 sec
19- Nicky Williams (St. Paul's Isle) +6m:06 sec
20- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +6m:15 sec
21- Rochelle Carle (McPsychoville) +6m:50 sec
22- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +7m:00 sec
23- Julie Renfro (QAZOX) +7m:00 sec
24- Widget (Green wombat) +7m:02 sec
25- Charles Eckert (Green wombat) +7m:16 sec
26- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) +7m:33 sec
27- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) +7m:34 sec
28- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +7m:56 sec
29- Steven Mitchell (St. Paul's Isle) +8m:10 sec
30- Lori Steele (Green wombat) +8m:31 sec
31- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +8m:45 sec
32- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +8m:54 sec
33- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +9m:04 sec
34- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +9m:15 sec
35- Matijas Sakalskij (Lovisa) +9m:23 sec
36- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) +10m:07 sec
37- Jay Paul (McPsychoville) +11m:02 sec



Sprinter Standings:
1- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) 28 pts (Sprint Champion)
2- Erica Ericssen (Sativaville) 17 pts
3- Julie Renfro (Qazox) 16 pts
3- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 14 pts
5- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) 9 pts
6- Lori Steele (Green wombat) 8 pts
7- Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) 7 pts
8- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 5 pts
9- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) 5 pts


Climbing Standings:
1-Ricardo Martínez (Cafundeu) 26 pts (Climb Champion)
2- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundeu) 22 pts
3- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 20.5 pts
4- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 20.5 pts
5- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 18.5 pts
6- Jeremy Davidson (St. Paul's Isle) 16.5 pts
7- Fernanda Paulistana (Cafundeu) 12 pts
8- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 7 pts
9- Julie Renfro (Qazox) 5 pts
10- Marco Paul (McPsychoville) 4 pts
11- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) 3 pts
12- Annabelle Dosha (Jeruselem) 2 pts
13- Ray Hedler (McPsychoville) 1.5 pts
14-Andrew Buchanan (St. Paul's Isle) 1 pt
15- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) 0.5 pts


AWARDS CEREMONY..and Wedding Later today!



(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1917_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

CAFUNDÉU ENDS TOUR OF QAZOX AS ONE OF THE BEST TEAMS

This year's Tour of Qazox for Cafundéu was fantastic. After some deceptions last year, the Monopolists did great. Ricardo Martínez was the climbing champion, and Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso finished in the second place. Bernardo Petkovic battled well in the sprinter standings, and Fernanda Paulistana won some points too.

In the overall standings, the results were awesome. Ricardo Martínez finished in third, Godofredo in fourth and Petkovic in ninth. Fernanda finished in the last positions, but did a nice job too. With this results, Cafundéu can be considered one of the best teams of this year's Tour of Qazox.

The Qazoxian Press Corps Best of TOUR awards:

BEST OVERALL RIDER(based on Point System): Toaster Smith, Random Toast 74pts.

MOST IMPRESSIVE RIDER: (tie) Kylie Kool, Jeruselem; Ray Hedler, McPsychoville

MOST IMPROVED RIDER: Kez Mofa, Jeruslem

BEST YOUNG RIDER (Rider uder age of 25): Jahine Rex, Sativaville

BEST STAGE PERFORMANCE: Team Sativaville, Stage 8

MOST POPULAR RIDER (as voted on QSPN.com)- Kylie Kool, Jeruselem

MOST SEXIEST MALE RIDER (as Voted on QSPN.com)- Kevin Storm, Sativaville

MOST SEXIEST FEMALE RIDER (as Voted on QSPN.com)- Fernanda Paulistana, Cafundeu

KYLE CARTMAN MEMORIAL COURAGE AWARD: Marco and Jay Paul, McPsychoville

BEST OVERALL TEAM AWARD: Team Sativaville

VERONICA FORRESTER MEMORIAL AWARD (best Female Rider): Jahine Rex, Sativaville (Kylie Kool not eligible due to winning the TOUR itself)

The Wedding and the superlatives will be up tomorrow some time.. (I'm having problems with the NSWiki, where they are)

<Dazza and Kylie Kool>

Kylie: Oh yeah, I won! I'm so happy.
Dazza: Going to streak or anything like that?
Kylie: Eh no, I'm not exactly shameless. A bit of dancing would be good though.
Dazza: I got just the thing!

<Dazza plugs in her MP3 player into the support car sound system>

Dazza: You ready? You like Hot Chocolate?
Kylie: What song?
Dazza: You sexy thing.
Kylie: Oh yeah, let's go disco!

<Dazza turns on the music, both girls shake their thing and finish. A crowd gathers and cheers>

Dazza: That was good.
Kylie: The crowd like it. I feel so good!
Dazza: The guys like your ass, and mine too.
Kylie: That's probably why guys like female cyclists, you can see them.

<Girls sign autographs for the crowd>

Ricky: Kez, what were those two clowns doing?
Kez: A bit of dancing.

1917 Superlatives

1- Most days wearing Blue Jersey- (9) Kylie Kool
2- Most stage wins- (2)- Annabelle Dosha, Ray Hedler, Ricardo Martinez, Chris van Stone
3- Most days spent in Top 5- (19)- Kylie Kool (3rd most ever)
4- Kylie Kool Becomes 1st female to win the TOUR.
5- Kylie Kool becomes 2nd TOUR winner not to win a stage (1914-Ricky Pointy Stick)
6- Three women finish in top 10, earning highest finishes ever by a woman, 4 women in top 11.
7-First time that 2 women wore blue jersey. (Annabelle Dosha, Kool)
8- Third straight TOUR won by less than 20 seconds.
9- 12 Stage winners, 2nd most ever.
10- First time two women won stages (Dosha, Stages 1 and 12 Fernanda Paulistana, Stage 13).
11- Dosha first woman to win two stages.