NationStates Jolt Archive

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As Outlined in the bid thread, with 17 teams, the defending champions (Wentland) earn an automatic bye to the Quarter Final stage. Wentland does have the opportunity to reject this bye if they would like, understanding the circumstances surrounding the host voting. Should Wentland accept the bye, the group draw will proceed as follows, and ECiaM will be more than happy to arrange friendly matches for Wentland during the Qualifying Stage.

The Seedings for the Group Draw are as follows:

Pot A:

Qazox
Jeruselem
Cafundéu

Pot B:
Green Wombat
Every Citizen is a Man
Yafor 2

Pot C & D:
Quakmybush
Starblaydia
Haraki
Lovisa
Le Crap
Coocoostan

Pot P:
Toranat (Quak's puppet)
Estresse Intenso (Cafundeu's puppet)
Jeru FC (Jeruselem's Puppet)
Sativaville (Qazox' Puppet)

As outlined, there will be 4 Groups of 4 teams, with the top 2 teams in Groups 1-3 Advancing, and the top team in Group 4 advancing to join Wentland in the Quarter Final stage. Groups 1-3 Will consist each of 1 team from Pots A & B and 2 Teams from Pot C. Group 4 will contain the teams in Pot P.

Therefore, the group draw for Women's World Cup IX is as follows:

Group 1: (Top 2 Advance)
[1] Jeruselem
[2] Green Wombat
[3] Quakmybush
[4] Haraki

Group 2: (Top 2 Advance)
[1] Qazox
[2] Every Citizen is a Man
[3] Le Crap
[4] Coocoostan

Group 3: (Top 2 Advance)
[1] Cafundéu
[2] Yafor 2
[3] Starblaydia
[4] Lovisa

Group 4: (Winner Advances)
[1] Toranat
[2] Estressse Intenso
[3] Jeru FC
[4] Sativavile


The Qualifying stage will consist of 6 matches, 2 against each team in the group. The Schedule is as follows:

Game1: 1 v 3 & 2 v 4
Game2: 1 v 2 & 3 v 4
Game3: 1 v 4 & 2 v 3
Game4: 1 v 3 & 2 v 4
Game5: 1 v 2 & 3 v 4
Game6: 1 v 4 & 2 v 3

After Game 6, the Knockout Stage will begin.

The Draw for each knockout round will be Random.

The last team surviving at the end of the knockout round will be crowned champion of WWCIX ECiaM.

Please Address any Questions or Concerns to the ECiaM Organizers in an In Character Format in this thread.

May the Best Team Win!

The Every Citizen is A Man Womens World Cup Roster

(ooc: please post your rosters in this thread. There are only 17 teams we don't need a 2nd thread)

Goalkeepers

#1 - Butch Sex: Male!

#2 - Norman Sex: Male!

Defenders


#3 - Rob Sex: Male!

#4 - Cedrick Sex: Male!

#5 - John Sex: Male!

#9 - Brent Sex: Male!

#7 - Bubba Sex: Male!

Midfielders

#10 - Spanky Sex: Male!

#11 - Mr. Big Shot Sex: Male!

#12 - The Manly Man Sex: Male!

#13 - Count Kokula Sex: Male!

#6 - Norbert Sex: Male!

Forwards

#22 - BMaverick Sex: Male!

#21 - Dick Sex: Male!

#29 - Joseph Harley Sex: Male!

(ooc: You do know that you have HARAKI is two different groups right?? and Lovisa is not in any??)

The Lady Oxen, after a couple of dissapointing Cups, start anew with All-time Goal leader Stefany Heisel in charge taking over for the retiring Kylie Rena. A new formation as well, as Qazox, who has been burned by good Mid-field play in the past, has gone to a 3-2-2-3 formation, with two sweepers. They will as usual play in a +3.


Starters in Blue, New comers are in Italics

GoalKeepers:
Carmella Bucklew 29 yrs. old
Ginger Bolden, 26 yrs. old
Genny Lyte, 24 yrs. old

Defenders:
Hope Judson, 29 yrs. old
Julianne Haverly, 28 yrs. old
Chelsea Daley, 25 yrs. old
Lenore Snowball 19 yrs. old
Amie Burr 18 yrs. old

Sweepers:
Neva Rehder, 29 yrs. old
Lorrie Daley, 23 yrs. old
Tabatha Philippi 20 yrs. old
Marcie Pariseau 22 yrs. old

Midfielders

Rene Rena, 22 yrs. old
Sierra Lopes, 22 yrs. old
Lilia Greeson 17 yrsold
Annabelle Lorenzana 18 yrs old

Forwards
Gretchen Bucci, 26 yrs. old
I'hin H'wu, 21 yrs. old
O'thi H'wu, 22 yrs. Old
Sofia Yochum 20 yrs. old
Kathrine Facer 19 yrs. old


(ooc: NsWiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Women%27s_World_Cup_9 (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Women%27s_World_Cup_9))

Stephany Heisel was sitting in her home when the following phone call occurred:

Heisel: "Yes, this is her... ECIAM is the hosts of the Cup? Kylie, that better be a joke... I'm serious, who put you up to this?... This better not be an episode of Qazox' Lamest Pranks... You got to be shitting me!!!...I thought that Sativaville had it wrapped up...What do you mean it's my fault?... Listen just because I'm married to the Sativaville Sports Council chairman should have nothing to do with the fact that they had to withdraw their bid...Conflict of intersest? that's a bunch of bullshit. Chuck wouldn't influence our draw or anything like that. You know it and I know it. What about Andrea? She's from here and went over there to coach, and that wasn't a conflcit of interest 8 years ago went we played...Ok then... Any word about the draw?.. We get ECIAM?.. Well that'll be fun, can't wait to lay an ass-whooping on those guys. Who else is in the group?.. Coocoostan and Le Crap?.. That's the name of the country... No fucking way...Well from the looks of it we're gonna be in the quarters again...Listen, just because you're the new vice-president of the QFC (Qazoxian Football Council) doesn't mean that you get to stick your nose into the team's business, just kidding...Yes, she's doing well...Rene is going to be a starter, she just outworked everyone, I'm real impressed. Can't wait til next year when Stacy and Andrea are old enough to play... Three Rena's on the team and in 4 years my Kelly will be old enough...Yep we're going to kick ass and take names in 4 years, but for now I'll just settle for a 3rd cup.. Ok coach...You'll always be the coach to me. Bye."

The Wentland extended squad was relaxing in Pinkney's Spa before the defence of their crown. Edwina Bluff was a little concerned by some of the team behaviour - some of them seemed to be a bit addicted to chocolate truffles for example - but she thought, well, they deserve it, it was a long and hard campaign previously with some gruelling matches. And now the Blue Tits were World Champions why not kick back a little?

Her thoughts were disturbed by receipt of a telegram from the World Cup Committee. "Oh heck, it's not that drunken interview with Rosie again..."

She ripped open the telegram.

congratulations stop team given bye to quarter finals stop look forward to seeing you there stop eciam

Wow, she thought. Easiest passage ever. What does "eciam" mean? Hmm.

Dazza Dallas was almost asleep when her husband woke her up. "Hey Dazza, you sent the Jeruselem roster for the Women's World Cup 9 yet?" he asked. "Crap, I forgot." as she nearly fell off her chair. She quickly forwarded an email to some weird email address.

Jeruselem team

Formation: 4-4-2 (4-4-1-1)

Coach - Debbie Dallas, former World Cup and Women World Cup player. Dazza's older sister too.
Reporter - Dazza Dallas (who else?)

GK Smetznova Kushava, 22 - Promising young girl who doesn't know the meaning of NO or CANNOT.
GK Debbie O'Hare , 25 - Q-Cup I player. Hero on one game and fought her way into the team despite her frail emotion nature

DEF - Angie Jolly, 18 - Tempermental bitch. No one likes her at all except herself.
DEF - Maggie Thatcher, 24 - Q-Cup I player. TOUGH girl, the iron lady of defense.
DEF - Frinzie Frodo, 24 - Q-Cup I player. The clown of the team which indecent jokes at Rashina's expense.
DEF - Lara Croft, 21 - Action girl, gets into the game from minute 0 and does not stop. Sometimes too energetic for her own good.
DEF - Silly Filly, 28 - Small girl with little going except she tries 200%. Lack of skill is her problem but she never gives up at all.
DEF - Rashina Dallas, 31 - One of Debbie Dallas's daughters. Another Dallas girl to terrorise the women's soccer world. Professional gymnast before following Dazza into the soccer field (CAPTAIN)

MID - Faith Fumbles, 27 - Distant relative of Dazza Dalllas's husband. Someone who can trust to do a job without fuss or drama. (VICE CAPTAIN)
MID - Monique Alexander, 24, Q-Cup I player. Likes sex, lots of it like Dazza. Models with some mob who do pr0n.
MID - Bibi Goldstein, 15 - younger sister of Anna Goldstien the football player (not the reporter). A good talent and giggles like Dazza.
MID - Rasgatha Fashina, 27 - Indian girl. Team player all the way and very humble.
MID - Slepie Head, 25 - Q-Cup I player. Sleeps a lot during the day, but no sleepie head during the game. Like a mobile phone type girl.
MID - Sister Moki, 26 - Nuns are meek, well mannered? Not this one! Quite a bitch, God's bitch. Don't mess with her.

STK - Shama Shaya Saja Sa, 19 - Otherwise known as Miss S, she's a threat to slow defenses. Great ball control and loves to chip sleeping keepers
STK - Dazza Folkstia, 19 - Nothing the real Dazza, keeps to herself but on the football field she turns into a demon.
STK - Natasha Greski, 25, Q-Cup I player. Lethal left foot to the ball and people she doesn't like.
STK - Bashi Sasani, 27 - the Moslem version of Kate Bush on the World Cup team. Still a virgin

Womens World Cup 8 - Cafundeu's chosen 23 - The Golden Girls:

The CFFC(Confederação de Futebol Feminino de Cafundéu - in English, the Cafundéu's Female Football Confederation), after a long year of preparations between the directors of the teams and the national coach, is sending the 23 players that will play the competition. The coach was changed, but the CFFC is controlling the work of the new coach, Franciele Karamarad. Only three players were substituted and most remains in their same teams.

See the 23 players:

Goalkeepers:

1-CAROLINE Frescho (Team: Atlético Jutense)
Height: 190cm - Weight: 65kg - Age: 32 years old
Caroline continues the same, playing wonderful games and showing to the supporters that she can continue in the National Team for a long time. She continues in the same team and is one of the most loyal women of the coach, now Franciele Karamarad.
Rating: A - Team Relationship: B - Morale: B - Form: A
PLAYED THE WWC 6
PLAYED THE WWC 7
PLAYED THE WWC 8

12-DENISE Marçal Pelenghi (Team: Clube Imperial)
Height: 186cm - Weight: 70kg - Age: 24 years old
One of the best players of the last National League, where she helped Clube Imperial to win the title, Denise now wants to play for the National Team. Although she is in the squad for a long time, she never played as a starter.
Rating: B - Team Relationship: B - Morale: B - Form: B
WAS IN WWC 7
WAS IN WWC 8

22-JULIANA MELLO (Team: SC Lasft)
Height: 186cm - Weight: 66kg - Age: 22 years old
Juliana Mello didn't improve very much since last year, but she continues in the squad as a good option for the team. Problems with injuries made her morale and form lower, but she earned the respect of her team mates during this time.
Rating: C - Team Relationship: A - Morale: C - Form: C
WAS IN WWC 7
WAS IN WWC 8

Right Defenders:

2-VANESSA Van Tocco (Team: Clube Imperial)
Height: 178cm - Weight: 55kg - Age: 24 years old
The niece of the emperor continues in the National Team, after playing a good year in the champion squad of Clube Imperial. Now she is extremely happy with her current life, as the emperor likes her and helps in her career. But she still has many problems with her team mates, as she is very arrogant.
Rating: A - Team Relationship: D - Morale: B - Form: A
PLAYED THE WWC 6
PLAYED THE WWC 7
PLAYED THE WWC 8

14-Isadora Mendonça Campos RIBEIRO (Team: Cafundó do

Juta)
Height: 156cm - Weight: 48kg - Age: 19 years old
The "little star", as she is being called, made a fantastic year in the average team of Tênis Clube and won a place in the National Team, after many problems in the full-back position. She isn't a developed player, so she probably won't play very much. But she is really excited to be in a important competition like this one.
Rating: D - Team Relationship: A - Morale: A - Form: A
PLAYED THE WWC 8

Left Defenders:

3-LUANA Hissenfeller Sawini (Team: Clube Imperial)
Height: 177cm - Weight: 55kg - Age: 23 years old
Still very talkative and friendly(considered the spokesperson of the team), everyone in Cafundéu likes Luana and her simple style. She plays with a smile in her face(in fact, looks like she ever smiles), with a very fast style and with good passing and dribbling. Now she is more mature and ready to play in the National Team, now in the left-back position.
Rating: A - Team Relationship: A - Morale: A - Form: B
PLAYED THE WWC 7
PLAYED THE WWC 8

13-KEYLA de Jesus dos Santos (Team: Central United)
Height: 172cm - Weight: 66kg - Age: 26 years old.
Very catholic, Keyla is a woman of few words. Her team mates like her, but she stays quiet even when she must talk. She is very shy and become nervous in difficult situations, but can create plays very fast and can tackle her enemies with accuracy, although she isn't violent(when she makes a foul, she immediately apologizes). She was considered the "Central United's Player of the Year" by the fans.
Rating: C - Team Relationship: A - Morale: C - Form: B
PLAYED THE WWC 8

Central Defenders:

4-Joana Guglielmi Moreira "MORENA" (Team: Atlético Jutense)
Height: 175cm - Weight: 65kg - Age: 28 years old.
After a very good first year in the National Team, Morena became one of the key players of the squad, with her vision and knowledge of the game. She has a good shooting ability and tackling ability, and is in good form.
Rating: B - Team Relationship: B - Morale: A - Form: A
PLAYED THE WWC 7
PLAYED THE WWC 8

6-SARAH Ohmar Águas (Team: Clube Imperial)
Height: 164cm - Weight: 53kg - Age: 25 years old
Got a place in the first team of the National Team after very good performances and improvements on the technical area. She attacks very much, wanting to score goals, even using his head for this(she is short, but heads well). Her abilities aren't defensive ones, but she fights a lot for the ball, and is very known in the media.
Rating: B - Team Relationship: A - Morale: A - Form: B
PLAYED THE WWC 7
PLAYED THE WWC 8

20-REBECCA SANCHEZ de Oliveira (Team: Dunboor FC)
Height: 190cm - Weight: 72kg - Age: 30 years old
Considered a monster in the field because of her violence, Sanchez continues playing well, although not so good as she did last year. Still has a bad relationship with the press and team mates. Went to Dunboor FC two years ago.
Rating: C - Team Relationship: C - Morale: B - Form: B
PLAYED THE WWC 7
PLAYED THE WWC 8

21-SABRINA Túlio Espaguete (Team: SC Lasft)
Height: 161cm - Weight: 53kg - Age: 21 years old
Sabrininha is naive and doesn't have enough experience to play often in the National Team, but her abilities surprised the coaches of SC Lasft, and now she is a starter in a great team. After playing very well at club level, Franciele decide to give her a chance to play in the National Team, but she won't be a starter. She has good tackling and passing, but isn't very good in other areas.
Rating: B - Team Relationship: B - Morale: B - Form: A
PLAYED THE WWC 8

Defensive Midfielders:

5-LETÍCIA Cabral Olivieri (Team: Clube Imperial)
Height: 165cm - Weight: 50kg - Age: 25 years old
Letícia continues being one of the most important players of the country, with her long passing, creativity and beautiful playes. Still one of the most beautiful women of the country, very famous inside and outside the field.
Rating: A - Team Relationship: B - Morale: A - Form: A
PLAYED THE WWC 6
PLAYED THE WWC 7
PLAYED THE WWC 8

16-TATIana Frota Guimarães "PAÇOCA" (Team: Dínamo Lux)
Height: 162cm - Weight: 49kg - Age: 25 years old
After Viviane Paquetá had some problems with the police, Melissa chose Tati Paçoca to be an option as second defensive midfielder. She is considered a good player, but the supporters were surprised to see her in the National Team. Her passing and defensive abilities are very good. She is also very funny and her team mates usually like her.
Rating: C - Team Relationship: A - Morale: A - Form: B
PLAYED THE WWC 8

17-NINA Razet (Team: Atlético Jutense)
Height: 170cm - Weight: 66kg - Age: 20 years old
Talented, wise and arrogant. This is Nina Razet, the best youngster of Cafundéu's Female Football League's last season. Good with the both legs, she is extremely intelligent, cold and with good passing and dribbling abilities. A cerebral player who wants to be a starter in the team.
Rating: B - Team Relationship: C - Morale: A - Form: A

Neutral Midfielders:

8-ALICE Alvarenga Moura (Team: Clube Imperial)
Height: 170cm - Weight: 60kg - Age: 23 years old
A very intelligent player, who continues being one of the best midfielder of Cafundéu, she still will continue being a key player for the team, as she is passing by a good moment in her life and career.
Rating: A - Team Relationship: B - Morale: A - Form: A
PLAYED THE WWC 6
PLAYED THE WWC 7
PLAYED THE WWC 8

23-LÍLIAN MATOSO Alves LaVerna (Team: Cafundó do Juta)
Height: 164cm - Weight: 62kg - Age: 26 years old
Lílian Matoso isn't considered a great player, but she won a place in the National Team after Joseane suffered an accident. The midfielder will be out for six months, so Franciele had to look for an emergency substitute.
Rating: C - Team Relationship: A - Morale: A - Form: C

Attacking Midfielders:

7-Fernanda Caravelas "NANDA" (Team: Dunboor FC)
Height: 172cm - Weight: 62kg - Age: 26 years old
Nanda finally changed clubs, going to Dunboor FC. But she is a bit sad about this situation, as she loved her former team. A set pieces expert, is one of the most liked players by the coach.
Rating: B - Team Relationship: A - Morale: C - Form: A
PLAYED THE WWC 6
PLAYED THE WWC 7
PLAYED THE WWC 8

10-FERNANDA Xavier GARCIA (Team: Clube Imperial)
Height: 171cm - Weight: 65kg - Age: 24 years old
Still the best player of the team, her form is surprising, being very good since WWC 6. She seems satisfied with her life and ready to dribble her opponents again.
Rating: A - Team Relationship: A - Morale: A - Form: A
PLAYED THE WWC 6
PLAYED THE WWC 7
PLAYED THE WWC 8

15-Denise SOUTO MAIOR (Team: Dínamo Lux)
Height: 178cm - Weight: 72kg - Age: 25 years old
Souto Maior left Clube Imperial's squad and changed teams twice since then. A very strange person, is a good player, who surprises everyone with her shots and passes.
Rating: B - Team Relationship: B - Morale: B - Form: A
PLAYED THE WWC 7
PLAYED THE WWC 8

Attackers:

9-ANA LAURA Lopes Veller (Team: Clube Imperial)
Height: 174cm - Weight: 58kg - Age: 26 years old
The goal-maker continues to score lots of goals. She also started to talk more with the press and became a symbol of the team. Scored many goals in the last Q-Cup and is ready to score more.
Rating: A - Team Relationship: B - Morale: B - Form: A
PLAYED THE WWC 6
PLAYED THE WWC 7
PLAYED THE WWC 8

11-LUÍSA Neves Matoso (Team: Clube Imperial)
Height: 175cm - Weight: 58kg - Age: 22 years old
When Maria Lúcia was ready to take the place of third attacker, Luísa appeared in Clube Imperial's starting team and showed all her ability, with many goals and assists. She looks like a complete striker and can play even as a midfielder, but still has a lot to learn, as she lack ability in certain areas. But everyone thinks that she is the future of the National Team.
Rating: A - Team Relationship: A - Morale: B - Form: A
PLAYED THE WWC 8


18-ANA BEATRIZ Caprossi Grande (Team: Universidade Católica)
Height: 171cm - Weight: 68kg - Age: 22 years old
Ana Paula, one of the main strikers of Cafundéu, retired after the death of her husband. Ana Beatriz, who plays in a minor team of the country, has the same style of the former NT attacker, and many people think that she has the same ability too. So, she went to the National Team.
Rating: B - Team Relationship: B - Morale: B - Form: B

19-MARIA LÚCIA Batatais (Team: Atlético Jutense)
Height: 175cm - Weight: 60kg - Age: 21 years old
After a year, Maria Lúcia continued the same. Good game and clincal finishes but poor dribbling and passing. Still lack the ability to be a starter, as she can improve.
Rating: B - Team Relationship: B - Morale: A - Form: B
PLAYED THE WWC 7
PLAYED THE WWC 8


Staff:

Coach: FRANCIELE KARAMARAD
Height: 180cm - Weight: 76kg - Age: 41 years old
An inexperienced coach, Franciele is only a backup coach while the CFFC finishes the deal with the legend Dário Gevalenke. She will have difficulties in coaching the team, but she knows that will leave after this cup.
Rating: B - Team Relationship: B - Morale: A - Confidence: D

Assistant Coach: BARÃO (Former Central United coach)
Height: 187cm - Weight: 92kg - Age: 60 years old
Has a lot of experience training young players and wants to help Franciele. He can improve the morale of the players very easy, as he is extremely fun. But when the players are playing, he wants them giving all their efforts, and shouts a lot from the bench. When the referee makes a mistake, he becomes very nervous and scares lots of referees.
Rating: B - Team Relationship: A - Morale: A - Confidence: B

Spy and Physical Trainer: XAVIER Jordão Jacarezinho

(Former SC Lasft)
Height: 202cm - Weight: 101kg - Age: 36 years old
Former physical trainer of SC Lasft, "The black monster", as he is called by his friends and by the press, is very good in helping the players to get in shape. He is very friendly and is friend of all the players and the directors. He is very intelligent too and can help the coach with many other things. His family didn't want to see him travelling to another country, but he wanted to take this opportunity.
Rating: B - Team Relationship: A - Morale: C - Confidence: B

Entertainer: SERGINHO MALLANDRO (Former TV Gazeta)
Height: 175cm - Weight: 88kg - Date of Birth: ???(above 40 years old)
The players and the staff need to be relaxed to play all the games. So, Serginho Mallandro's job is to make jokes, play games and help to make everybody happy. Sometimes he can be a bit annoying with his phrases like "Glu-glu", or "Bilu-bilu tetéia" and other ones, and even the directors don't like him very much, but he will stay with the NT.
Rating: A - Team Relationship: E - Morale: A - Confidence: E

Doctor: Dra. CECÍLIA KALAMARES (Former Juta Hospital)
Height: 172cm - Weight: 68kg - Age: 49 years old
One of the most famous doctors in Cafundéu, Cecília is well paid and got this well deserved position. Is ready to take care of any injured player or member of the staff(many times Serginho Mallandro when someone gets irritated with him). She has some assistants that can help her too, including the masseur Tonho Dozorno.
Rating: B - Team Relationship: B - Morale: B - Confidence: A

(Obs: Ratings and the other stats were only made to compare the stats of the players between my team)

The formation: Franciele has 2 options of formations:

-The first one(less used) is to use a 3-5-2 putting three defenders and using the right and left backs as midfielders. It's a more offensive strategy but the quality can decrease. Style of +2(with wing-backs attacking) or -1(with wing-backs defending) See:

--------------------Caroline--------------------
-------Morena------Sabrininha---------Sarah-----
--Vanessa-----------Letícia------------Luana----
---------Fernanda Garcia-------Alice------------
-----------Ana Laura-----------Luísa------------

-The second is to use a basic 4-4-2 using the best players of the team,

but with lesser use of tactics. Fernanda Garcia can go to attack, changing it to a 4-3-3. Style of +1(4-4-2) or +2(4-3-3). The 4-4-2 will be used in the first games(Style of +1) See:

--------------------Caroline--------------------
--Vanessa-----Morena--------Sarah------Luana----
--------------------Letícia---------------------
---------Nanda------------------Alice-----------
---------------Fernanda Garcia------------------
----------Ana Lopes------------Luísa------------

The kits(Home and Away):
http://www.timesetorcidas.com.br/timesetorcidas/imagens/Camisa/Normal/g00334.jpg (home)
http://www.timesetorcidas.com.br/timesetorcidas/imagens/Camisa/Normal/g259634.jpg (away)
http://www.timesetorcidas.com.br/timesetorcidas/imagens/Camisa/Normal/g259633.jpg (third)

LANDAU INSTITUTE'S LUCKY WOMEN

23 lucky women won the right to leave the Institute for some time to play football. They are the same players of the last WWC. Here they are:

Goalkeepers:

1- Tamires ZVEITEL: Zveitel is a good goalkeeper, tall and strong. Her stress level is low, the stress make her shout sometimes without reason, but she is well controlled. The Institute's doctors think that she is one of the most talented players of the teams.
Age: 24 years old
Years in the Institute: 10

13- Berenice Frios SOFT: Soft is shorter than Zveitel, but has the same ability. Her problem is serious, one of the worst in the team. She thinks that every clown wants to kill her, and avoids them. Her control is more difficult.
Age: 32 years old
Years in the Institute: 30

23- Francisca IGELEN: Igelen isn't a good goalkeeper, but she was chosen because she can control herself without use of medicines. The stress made her obsessed with grass, so she only sleeps on grass.
Age: 20 years old
Years in the Institute: 9

Wing-Backs:

2- Antonieta YEYTS: Yeyts is obsessed with cleaning. She becomes very angry with everybody who complains about it, she wants to clean everything. She likes to use the right side of the field, and can run very fast.
Age: 30 years old
Years in the Institute: 4

3- Raquel POLSTER-HEICH: Raquel has a serious problem. She hates food, and doesn't want to eat or drink anything. Because of that the doctors have to make her sleep to give some nutrients by a probe. She doesn't remember how the life is outside the Institute. Likes the left wing.
Age: 23 years old
Years in the Institute: 23

20- Leandra AMARO: Amaro doesn't have a serious problem. She only fears the loneliness, and wants somebody near her everytime. But she is a gentle person. Can play in both sides of the field.
Age: 32 years old
Years in the Institute: 17

21- Maria Eduarda CLUDENT: Cludent has double personality. The strange thing is that both of them play football well, although one plays in the right side and another in the left side. Both personalities are very similar, but one can't stand the other.
Age: 20 years old
Years in the Institute: 8

Centre-Backs:

4- Jurema EVERENKE: Everenke became so nervous because of the stress that, without her medicines, she starts to fight with everybody who touches her. She is trying to control it, but she doesn't seem to improve.
Age: 27 years old
Years in the Institute: 14

5- Carlota TERCART: Tercart has amnesia. This happened because of the intense work that she was doing. An interesting fact is that if she do somehting now, she will forget it seven days later, no matter what it was. This is very difficult to control, since she can forget important things, but the medicines can make she remember some selected things, like play football.
Age: 29 years old
Years in the Institute: 15

12- Priscila LAFERRO: Laferro is kleptomaniac. The medicines don't make much effect. Inside the Institute it wasn't a serious problem, but now in ECIAM it can give problems to her, so the doctors will be looking what she'll make.
Age: 20 years old
Years in the Institute: 4

14- Ivana NOVAES: Novaes is paranoic. After discussing with her last boyfriend, he started to go after her until she entered in the Institute. After that, she thinks that her boyfriend is in every place that she goes, and the doctors need to control her.
Age: 25 years old
Years in the Institute: 6

Defensive Midfielders:

6- Cíntia FONDERSON: Fonderson has a very strange mood. She can't show her feelings and becomes angry or happy with no reasons. She likes to play football and when she's playing the mood changes stop, without the need of medicines. Because of that she can be one of the most important players of the team.
Age: 22 years old
Years in the Institute: 16

8- Aline GHABAD: Ghabad sees things that doesn't exist. They are different things, sometimes are aliens, then ghosts. If she doesn't take her medicines, she can be distracted during the game by her visions. Luckily she know that they aren't real, but can't take her eyes out of them, looking at them with interest.
Age: 33 years old
Years in the Institute: 24

16- Carla HISSENFELDER: Hissenfelder is too anxious and hiperactive. Everytime she is doing something, maybe two or three things at the same time. In the field she is very fast and even when she isn't with the ball she is still running.
Age: 21 years old
Years in the Institute: 7

22- Valéria KOHLMEIR: Kohlmeir fears all insects, mainly spiders and ants. When she sees an insect, she stay quiet and scared, and doesn't move when she is still seeing it. She only returns to move when the insect leaves.
Age: 30 years old
Years in the Institute: 18

Offensive Midfielders:

7- Rafaela MAULNUS: Is completely sane, without any stress. Because of that doesn't need to control herself and doesn't need to take any medicines. She is also an excellent player, very good in set pieces, dribbling and finishing. She is the captain of the team and is very disciplined.
Age: 25 years old
Years in the Institute: since birth

11- Rachel SERRANO: It's the daughter of Gwen Serrano, who was also good in football. But like her mother, Serrano is antisocial and doesn't talk to anybody that she doesn't know. With her team mates and with the doctors she speaks, but very little. She has a very good relationship with the coach, who is trying to help her.
Age: 29 years old
Years in the Institute: since birth

15- Keyla ESTIFF: Estiff doesn't believe in nothing. If you tell her something, she won't believe, even if you prove. With her medicines, she can accept some things, like "your team is the white one" and "you need to shoot in that goal", but only if the doctors say it.
Age: 23 years old
Years in the Institute: 11

18- Nathália SAN JERLO: San Jerlo loves fire. After causing fires in more than 5 buildings, she went to the institute, where she sometimes causes a fire too. With the medicines she stops to want to put fire on something, but she continues to appreciate the fire and things burning. Outside the Institute she could be arrested, as she killed many people in her fires.
Age: 28 years old
Years in the Institute: 17

Attackers:

9- Silvana DE VRUM: De Vrum worships Landau. Yes, she thinks that the director of the Institute is a god and that the Institute is his temple. Everytime she prays for him and considers herself his highest nun. She creates rituals to increase the power of her "god". Landau seems to like that, and because of that De Vrum doesn't take any medicine.
Age: 26 years old
Years in the Institute: 24

10- Sabrina QUASTER: Quaster is beautiful, and because of that she thinks that her body is the most important thing of the entire world. She is extremely cautious, using lots of protections to play football and doesn't want to get hurt.
Age: 20 years old
Years in the Institute: 6

17- Stephany CATARY: Catary believes that she is a robot. She obey all the doctor's commands and her answers to certain questions seem all the same. When she walks, she makes a strange noise, and before the start of the game, she says something like "starting football mode".
Age: 34 years old
Years in the Institute: 15

19- Catarina BARCELLOS: Barcellos has depression. She needs the help of the doctors and some medicines. But she likes to play football and is starting to have a better relationship with her team mates. The doctors think that in 2 years she will recover.
Age: 24 years old
Years in the Institute: 6

COACH: Doctor Ivana Sanidad: Sanidad is a psychiatrist who helps most of these girls inside the Landau Institute. She has Landau's confidence and will control the players to play football.
Age: 53 years old

Landau also sent many other doctors to help the team, working as physical trainer, spy, doctor and other jobs.

The Formation: 4-5-1 Style of -1(used in the first game):

--------------------Zveitel--------------------
--Yeyts-----Everenke----Tercart---PolsterHeich-
-----Fonderson-----Hissenfelder-----Ghabad-----
----------Maulnus----------Serrano-------------
-------------------De Vrum---------------------

3-4-3 - Style of +1:

--------------------Zveitel--------------------
-----Everenke-----Hissenfelder-----Tercart-----
----------Fonderson----------Ghabad------------
-------Maulnus-------------------Serrano-------
------Barcellos-----De Vrum-------Quaster------

The kits(home, away and third):

http://www.timesetorcidas.com.br/timesetorcidas/imagens/Camisa/Normal/g00482.jpg

http://www.timesetorcidas.com.br/timesetorcidas/imagens/Camisa/Normal/P1040715_G.jpg

http://www.timesetorcidas.com.br/timesetorcidas/imagens/Camisa/Normal/g732884.jpg

Here's the roster:
The Ermines will play a 3-4-3 with a +2.


GK #33- Hill
DEF #35- Mikkelson
DEF #31- Mattice
DEF #30- Bonds
MID #3- Fifer
MID #9- Laperle
MID #10- Richie
MID #8- Erard
FOR #77- Miyasaka
FOR #75- Lambermont
FOR #79- Cieloha

SUB #20- Manx
SUB #22- Turley
SUB #23- Sandler
SUB #24- Greer

Do what ever you want. No killing please and pick my scorers.

The Lady Stoners WWC9 team, as coached by Qazoxian great Andrea Childress-Turner. And so begins the Mathe Dynasty...

Here's the team: a +3 style, in a 4-2-4 formation.

(note for Sativaville all #'s from 1-11 are retired.
STARTERS:

GK #19 Terri Mathe, age 17
Def. #20-Blossom Galdames, Age 18
Sweeper #21-Cherry Henig, Age 21
Sweeper #22-Aurora Duso, Age 18
Def. #18- Breanne Carloni, Age 17
Mid. #17- Dana Mathe, Age 17
Mid. #16- Becki Kiggins, Age 20
Forw. #12- Vicki Mathe, Age 18
Strik. #15- Rina Childress-Turner, Age 18 (yes the coach's Daughter)
Mid-Forw. #14- Lasonya Decena, Age 21
Forw. #13- Kim Mathe, age 20

Subs (all subs use Numbers 30-39)
GK- Danyelle Siwiec, age 18
Def- Cheree Hanigan, Age 19
Def- Carola Carrino, Age 17
Def/Mid- Hang Rubeck, Age 20
Mid- Jaye Hollenbaugh, Age 22
Mid- Annamaria Vinup, Age 17
Forw- Danelle Lehtinen , Age 17
Forw- Yulanda Hutchkiss, Age 19
Forw- Shirl Mandino, Age 20
And for the 1st time our formation:


T. Mathe
Galdames Henig Duso Carloni
D. Mathe Kiggins
Decena
V. Mathe Childress-Turner K.Mathe

"It's not fair..dammit. We have the better facilities, the better infrasturcture and they're MEN, dammit. They shouldn't even be allowed to compete, let alone host the WWC." Andrea Childress-Turner said after hearing word that due to some irregularities, Sativaville's bid to host Women's World Cup 9 had to be scrapped.

"I know, but think of it this way, what better revenge than to win the Cup on thier soil, then to defend it on our own?" The Chairman of the Sativaville Sports Council, Chuck Heisel, answered. "I just hope that you and Stephany don't meet in the knock-outs, 'cause I wouldn't know who to root for. Well I'm going to fax you the group draw, it should be there in a minute or so. Well Andrea I hope the Mathe Dynasty gets off to a good start. We've been to 2 consectutive quarterfinals, but we need to get to a semi at least this time, or else the council might not find the funds to host WWCX or a team."

"Wait a minute... are you trying to tell me that if we don't get to the Semis, the team is going to lose funding? What kind of bullshit are you trying to pull here Chuck?" Andrea fumed.

"Just because I'm the chairman, doesn't mean I get to run roughshod over the decisions the Council makes. There are enough people on it that want to concentrate most if not all of the funding to the national team in hopes of making it to the World Cup for the first time. If it were up to me, I'd keep the funding the way it is 50/50, but..." Chuck replied witha twinge of regret in his voice.

"But a council of 7 men want to spend it on Men not women. I got it. Well i jsut got your fax, and I think we can do it. It's gonna be a bit tough, but we could pull it off. Say hi to Stephany for me and tell her if we meet, all bets are off." Andrea hung up the phone and took a look at the fax.

Group 4: (Winner Advances)
[1] Toranat
[2] Estressse Intenso
[3] Jeru FC
[4] Sativavile

Schedule:
Estresse Intenso
Jeru FC
Toranat
Estresse Intenso
Jeru FC
Toranat

The Jeruselem team were co-training with Jeru FC team at home, and it showed which team were better. The inexperienced Jeru FC team had improved but they did not have proper system working on the field still as the turnover in the team was high. Injuries had hit the Jeruselem military team due to injuries from military training.

Dazza: You call that a football team, Major?
Major: That's all I have to work with.
Dazza: Well, at least you got a nice group to play in.
Major: With Sativaville and Toranat, and even Estressse Intenso - we don't have a real hope.

Dazza: Come on, you have a chance.
Major: If we borrow some of the Jeruselem team
Dazza: Where's the roster for this team?
Major: Can't release one, we have to keep the team member names kinda secret

Dazza: So I have to call them by number then
Major: Well, yes. Call them private 1 and private 2 and so on
Dazza: They aren't skilled at all
Major: You should see the men play, they are worse

Dazza: Worse?
Major: Yes, worse. At least the girls here are semi-decent
Dazza: Number 13 - she's pretty good!
Major: You were number 13 too weren't you

Dazza: Yes, look at that - she's got talent.
Major: Except she is likes a good time - too much
Dazza: And what's wrong with that?
Major: Oh yes, you are Dazza - in the military - we can't have that kind of behaviour

Dazza: She's popular then?
Major: Very popular
Dazza: Might be problem in the world cup host nation then
Major: Oh yes, a nation of males. You'll be popular then - you and your flesh flashing

Dazza: Running around topless in a Women's World Cup final? All part of the game.
Major: My girls don't do that kind of thing
Dazza: Why doesn't number 5 wear a bra then?
Major: Not again

Dazza: Is that an issue?
Major: Oh yes, we don't have any bras for her size, that's why.
Dazza: Err, why's that?
Major: They have to be military grade.

World Cup 8

****champions****

Wentland

are back...

1 Anne Foy, 32, goalkeeper, Esford Dynamo
2 Rachel Horne, 30, right-back/centre-half, Newchurch Angels
3 Sammie Grady, 24, centre-half, Oldhill Academy
4 Imelda Davies, 25, midfield, Oldhill Academy
5 Lucinda Rhodes, 35, centre-half, Warpstone
6 Becky Stephens, 23, midfield, Petterham
7 Gwennie Saunders, 25, midfield, Petterham
8 Stacey Cadman, 30, midfield, Warpstone
9 Thalia Pellegrini, 29, centre-forward, Newchurch Angels
10 Kaz Flack, 23, centre-forward, Esford Dynamo
11 Rosie Dougall, 22, midfield, Petterham
12 Kirsten Cassidy, 22, goalie, Oldhill Academy
13 Conchita Quddus, 28, right-back, Petersfield
14 Az Jackson, 18, centre-half, Petterham
15 Zoe Pike, 22, left-back, Petersfield
16 Trisha Yates, 25, midfield, Oldhill Academy
17 Nella Horner, 18, centre-forward, Oldfield
18 Ellie Beavan, 29, left-back, Oxton
19 Sally Summers, 20, midfield, Northmere
20 Leigh Fraser, 22, midfield, Oldhill Academy
21 Katie Barnfield, 19, centre-forward, Oldhill Academy
22 Lisa Clark, 19, goalie, Bailey Street
99 Luisa Matsushita, 19, midfield, St Elmo’s


http://img109.imageshack.us/img109/1364/ww9ai6.png

Wentland's Women's FA have decided not to bother adopt change kit and will call upon the champions' privilege of forcing the opposition to change in the event of a colour clash. However the team now sports a gilded victory v afront the shirt.

Mrs Bluff is proud to name an almost unchanged squad. The one difference caused by Anna Kumble's pregnancy which allows a now-fit Trisha Yates back into the squad; Lucinda Rhodes takes over as captain.

(play +1, RPers can do what they like, but note they've got a little over-confident...)

Lake Porter Sun
9th time we've done this. The Cup for 36 years old? Hell, our Editor isn't even that old.

Once again its time for the Women's World Cup, the 9th edition. We remember all the way back at the 1st one of these and...well lets just say it has seen better times. Only 17 countries this time around? Hell the TOUR de QAZOX gets more countries and that is limited to 3 riders. (ooc: sry for the plug...lol).

Well Wentland, after decades of failure finally can't say "We were robbed!" or "Our Keepers suck in shoot-outs." And they get a Bye into the Quartferinals? Wish we had that happen, we'd have 5 or 6 Cups by now.

Back to the point, the Groups and our almost always correct predictions:

Group 1: Jeruselem, Green Wombat, Quakmybush, and Haraki
Jeruselem is just like us, on a bit of a slump the last couple of Cups, and finally no DAZZA, so they could be upset, and the team most likely to do so: Green Wombat, who shocked us in the 3rd place match last time out. Quakmybush, still remains a problem as does Haraki, but with most of the Sharks attention focus on the "Real World Cup", and Haraki still in neutral, Green Wombat and Jeruselem will advance with ease.

Group Prediction:
1- Green Wombat (5-0-1)
2- Jeruselem (4-1-1)
3- Quakmybush (1-2-3)
4- Haraki (0-1-5)

Group 2: QAZOX, Every Citizen is a Man, Le Crap, Coocoostan
Boy some one must like us. The Hosts, ECAIM and two Newbs? Only ECIAM will challenge us, as Hosts, but the rest we can beat 11 on 7. ECAIM as hosts will get through as well, although Coocoostan seems to be a bit better than Le Crap.

Group Prediction:
1- QAZOX (6-0-0)
2- Every Citizen is a Man (2-2-2)
3- Coocoostan (2-1-3)
4- Le Crap (0-1-5)


Group 3: Cafundéu, Yafor 2, Starblaydia, Lovisa
Intersesting group as there is a good young team in Cafundéu, and two decent established teams in Starblaydia and Yafor 2. Lovisa, has a small chance, but Yafor 2 and Cafundéu will edge out Starblaydia for the 2 spots.

Group Prediction:
1- Yafor 2 (4-1-1)
2- Cafundéu (3-2-1)
3- Starblaydia (2-2-2)
4- Lovisa (0-1-5)


Group 4: Toranat, Estressse Intenso, Jeru FC, Sativaville
Another intriguing group that has 3 good teams and one decent squad. Only one team will advance out of this group, and it will be Sativaville, by goal differential probably.

Group Prediction:
1- Sativaville (4-0-2)
2- Toranat (4-0-2)
3- Estresse Intenso (3-0-3)
4- Jeru FC (1-0-5)

Women Turned Away from ECiaM
In a shock move, The Every Citizen is a Man government denied entry to thousands of women attempting to travel to Every Citizen is a Man for the Women's World Cup IX competition. A Statement was released from the government of Every Citizen is a Man.

We apologize to those who have traveled long distances to be here without being aware of the nations rules for entry. Women are not allowed in Every Citizen is a Man which we realize does pose a bit of a problem for the Women's World Cup. Some concessions are going to have to be made, but we just aren't going to open the gates and have the country over run by women. Obviously, the players and staff have already been taken behind the Every Citizen borders in a series of convoys of the Armed Forces of ECiaM and will be staying at secure government bases throughout the country.

The Every Citizen is a Man Government is going to, however, for the first time in national history, allow women to enter the nation on general terms. Each nation will be given 250 special Female Visa passes which can be distributed amongst the women of the nation. The Visa's are interchangeable so your nation can opt to have more than 250 women take advantage of the Visa's over the course of the tournament, however, at no point should the total number of women from any nation exceed 250 members inside the Borders of Every Citizen is a Man, including playing and coaching staff. The Every Citizen is a Man government will allocate unused Visa's from unsupportive nations to those nations seeking high demand entry into the country on a first come, first serve basis to dignitaries only, a list of whom must be provided to the Every Citizen Government.

We do apologize for this un-planned inconvenience, but are hopeful for a safe and exciting tournament. The tournament will start with matchday 1 later today after the female travelers have begun to enter the nation under military escort, for their safety.

(ooc: This post may contain nudity)

Lake Porter Sun
9th time we've done this. The Cup for 36 years old? Hell, our Editor isn't even that old.

Women Turned Away from ECiaM
In a shock move, The Every Citizen is a Man government denied entry to thousands of women attempting to travel to Every Citizen is a Man for the Women's World Cup IX competition. A Statement was released from the government of Every Citizen is a Man.

We apologize to those who have traveled long distances to be here without being aware of the nations rules for entry. Women are not allowed in Every Citizen is a Man which we realize does pose a bit of a problem for the Women's World Cup. Some concessions are going to have to be made, but we just aren't going to open the gates and have the country over run by women. Obviously, the players and staff have already been taken behind the Every Citizen borders in a series of convoys of the Armed Forces of ECiaM and will be staying at secure government bases throughout the country.

The Every Citizen is a Man Government is going to, however, for the first time in national history, allow women to enter the nation on general terms. Each nation will be given 250 special Female Visa passes which can be distributed amongst the women of the nation. The Visa's are interchangeable so your nation can opt to have more than 250 women take advantage of the Visa's over the course of the tournament, however, at no point should the total number of women from any nation exceed 250 members inside the Borders of Every Citizen is a Man, including playing and coaching staff. The Every Citizen is a Man government will allocate unused Visa's from unsupportive nations to those nations seeking high demand entry into the country on a first come, first serve basis to dignitaries only, a list of whom must be provided to the Every Citizen Government.

We do apologize for this un-planned inconvenience, but are hopeful for a safe and exciting tournament. The tournament will start with matchday 1 later today after the female travelers have begun to enter the nation under military escort, for their safety.



"What the hell kind of crap is this?" Yelled a couple of Lady Oxen followers, (these two: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/85/Football_World_Cup_Berlin_20060624_Bodypainting.jpg.
"A special Lottery for 250 fans? This is pure grade 100% Horseshit!" yelled another.
The 49,000 fans who where stuck in ECIAM customs began to chant "Hell NO let us go!, Hell NO let us go!, Hell NO let us go!" until some of ECAIM 'finest' officers began to subdue the crowd, although, surprisingly without violence.

The emerging rivalry between Qazox and ECAIM has been bumped up a notch, and I feel very sorry for ECIAM.

Women Turned Away from ECiaM
In a shock move, The Every Citizen is a Man government denied entry to thousands of women attempting to travel to Every Citizen is a Man for the Women's World Cup IX competition. A Statement was released from the government of Every Citizen is a Man.

We apologize to those who have traveled long distances to be here without being aware of the nations rules for entry. Women are not allowed in Every Citizen is a Man which we realize does pose a bit of a problem for the Women's World Cup. Some concessions are going to have to be made, but we just aren't going to open the gates and have the country over run by women. Obviously, the players and staff have already been taken behind the Every Citizen borders in a series of convoys of the Armed Forces of ECiaM and will be staying at secure government bases throughout the country.

The Every Citizen is a Man Government is going to, however, for the first time in national history, allow women to enter the nation on general terms. Each nation will be given 250 special Female Visa passes which can be distributed amongst the women of the nation. The Visa's are interchangeable so your nation can opt to have more than 250 women take advantage of the Visa's over the course of the tournament, however, at no point should the total number of women from any nation exceed 250 members inside the Borders of Every Citizen is a Man, including playing and coaching staff. The Every Citizen is a Man government will allocate unused Visa's from unsupportive nations to those nations seeking high demand entry into the country on a first come, first serve basis to dignitaries only, a list of whom must be provided to the Every Citizen Government.

We do apologize for this un-planned inconvenience, but are hopeful for a safe and exciting tournament. The tournament will start with matchday 1 later today after the female travelers have begun to enter the nation under military escort, for their safety.



Dazza Dallas reading the press release and in her rather normal way expressed herself
"So ECiaM host the Women's World Cup 9 and don't allow women to watch? What sort of perverted country is that? It's obvious the men there have no self control and require the army to stop the general population to them from molesting any women who enter the country. I thought extreme Muslim men were bad."

Monique Alexander chuckled
"Hey, we have a captive audience. All men and well, all perverts! Think about that Dazza."

Dazza replied
"Well I hope they are not all Gay or something. 250 women? They've got too many women or they have locked up at home in chains for something."

Monique Alexander giggled
"We'll find out when you're out and about."

Given a fantastic Group performance that had seen Wentland storm into the last eight, Edwina Bluff decided the team needed an extended stay at home and so the Pinkneys spa was booked for the exclusive use of the women's team. The squad needed no persuading to spend the time flolloping around in various jacuzzis and massages and beauty treatments. Especially Katie Barnfield, who had been spending a suspicious amount of time in the make-over room every day.

Bluff decided to send some scouts to check out the facilities and the opposition leading up to the competition. She was somewhat surprised when Nikki Griffin returned the day after leaving for ECIAM.

"What's up, Nikki?"

"They won't let me in!"

"Whaaaat?"

"The ECIAMers have decided that women are not allowed, only a handful to be balloted."

"How about the team?"

"They're OK, and the support for the team, but they wouldn't believe me! They would not let me in without their chit being filled in. Of course we haven't done it cos we're already through..."

"No women? What's up with that?"

"Don't ask me, boss...I just managed to peer through the border...there don't seem to be any women there..."

"How about their team? They must be women, surely?"

"I dunno...remember the furore last time? No-one ever sorted that, but they were so rubbish no-one cared."

"Hmm, this is going to cause problems..."

"Don't worry, boss, I have an idea. I know this bloke who makes fake beards..."

Here are the scores and locations. Don't be afraid OOC about Every Citizen's first score, Its probably just an outlyer, IC though, have fun with it~!:

Group 1: Games at Bloke Military Base
Jeruselem 2-0 Quakmybush
Green Wombat 2-1 Haraki
Group 2: Games at Lord Castle Arena
Qazox 3-1 Le Crap
Every Citizen is a Man 5-0 Coocoostan
Group 3: Games at Wolf Sector Location
Cafundéu 3-1 Starblaydia
Yafor 2 1-0 Lovisa
Group 4: Games at Chap Field
Toranat 2-4 Jeru FC
Estresse Intenso 1-1 Sativaville

FIRST WIN AGAINST STARBLAYDIA

Cafundéu started the WWC 9 campaign with a good victory against Starblaydia. Cafundéu's goals were scored by Luana and Ana Laura, who scored two goals. Cafundéu scored the first two goals, Starblaydia tried to react scoring once, but the Golden Girls could score again to end Starblaydia's hopes.

The team performed well with an offensive style. The players adapted themselves with the formation and could secure the victory. Ana Laura was the Woman of the Match, as she scored two goals and ran during all the game, helping the team creating plays and goal chances.

OOC - ECIAM, that's hard to read!

Dazza
"Hi this is Dazza Dallas at the Women's World Cup 9 in some male country called ECIAM. Ok, it's called Every Citizen is a Male but I'm going call it ECIAM. If you looked at the live coverage, you don't see many females apart from people like me and the players. Men everywhere! The only problem is I can't see the women here so I'm not sure if they are all home or something weird is going on ECIAM with how people procreate. So, let's talk about the football instead of the hosts. The official scores press release for scores was a little hard to read but we managed to find out what it actually said."

<scratches under skirt>

"Sorry, I hope didn't get people worked up. Some idiot didn't put in the softener when they washed the team clothing. And it was a woman too - she's been warned to do it again. Anyway, Jeruselem played the tricky Quakmybush, the World Cup 33 co-hosts. It was at this Bloke Military Base - and there's lots of people running around with guns around there. Somehow the girls from Jeruselem and Quakmybush managed to concentrate with all that going on. Jeruselem won TWO NIL as we are used to jets flying over football stadiums. Solid win for Jeruselem over an opponent who is not to be underestimated. Green Wombat beat the fading Haraki in the other game so both semi-finalists win and the others - no points. Oh, and I sold a few more Playboy magazines too. The one with me in it. Group 1 is on track. Haraki of late has been disappointing, and then you have us and Green Wombat in way."

<scratches under skirt again>

"The Lady Oxen otherwise known as Qazox beat some crap team called Le Crap THREE ONE. Le crap played to their name and the Qazox team played like they normally do. The hosts ECIAM trashed some team called Coocoostan, and it was FIVE NIL. Please note the ECIAM team are all male so the poor old Coocoostan team were confused but we aren't. Qazox should win all their games unless the hosts beat them as if you look at Group 2, it's got two really bad teams. I do expect the ECIAM team to progress."

"Group 3, very interesting. Tough group! Last cup hosts Cafundéu beat Starblaydia or the Cherries. A bit one-sided THREE ONE and really, the Cherries need to pick up their game. The ex-hosts are playing well and were stopped by the best teams only. Yafor 2 beat Lovisa, but not the way they wanted. A scrappy ONE NIL win but hey it's three points. So this group will be really good to watch."

"Group 4 - the one with our military girls. Sativaville really should have beaten Estresse Intenso but both games grabbed one point each. Toranat took our girls, and should have trashed them. Well, Jeru FC won! Not just a little win, FOUR TWO. They played like the Jeruselem people are scare off. The girls in green and brown looked like they were wearing the pink and white of the real team. They were just running amok making Toranat look like much a amateurs. Fantastic, another scalp for Jeru FC! They might even progress, you never know. No Wentland to trash them FIVE NIL in the group as well. The scorers, err number 5, 8, 12 and 13. They have names but we aren't allowed to tell you."

"So, a great day for women's football for Jeruselem anyway. This is Dazza Dallas for JGN in ECIAM or man land. And I'd better be moving on or a couple of hundred men might jump on me."

Group 1: Games at Bloke Military Base
Jeruselem 2-0 Quakmybush
Green Wombat 2-1 Haraki

Group 2: Games at Lord Castle Arena
Qazox 3-1 Le Crap
Every Citizen is a Man 5-0 Coocoostan

Group 3: Games at Wolf Sector Location
Cafundéu 3-1 Starblaydia
Yafor 2 1-0 Lovisa

Group 4: Games at Chap Field
Toranat 2-4 Jeru FC
Estresse Intenso 1-1 Sativaville

Lake Porter Sun
9th time we've done this. The Cup for 36 years old? Hell, our Editor isn't even that old.

Well Le Crap played like..well Crap. as we easily won 3-1 to begin our march towrds a third title.

Le Crap got on the board 1st, due to the MALE referee's incompentence. He whistled Carmella Bucklew, who is a keeper, for a handball, and gave her a yellow for arguing the call. But after the other two umpires and the referee confired, they realized that keepers as allowed to touch the ball with thier hands, provided it's in the penalty area only. But the ensuing free kick went in, past a furious Bucklew and just 10 minutes into the match Le Crap had a shocking 1-0 lead. But the Lady Oxen came out, figuratively swinging, and less than 2 minutes later it was tied up 1-1 on a goal by Gretchen Bucci.

The rest of the first half saw lots of fouls called, and the pace was stilted, but the second half, there must have been some change or speech by Stefany Heisel that propelled Qazox to the win. I'hin H'wu scored twice, int he 60th and 74th minutes, and the match was over 3-1 Qazox. Up next is ECIAM and the Lady Oxen can't wait to run these pigs into the ground. Even though the last match, at WWC8 was close, I think the Lady Oxen have a big chip on their shoulders and will win 4-1.

Scoring Summary:
Le Crap- #3 10'
Yellow Cards: #10- 17', #9- 29', #8- 56'
QAZOX- Bucci(1)- 12'; I. H'wu- (1,2) 60', 74'
Yellow Cards: Bucklew- 9', Neva Rehder- 56', Julianne Haverly- 86'

Mixed Qazoxian Story Strengthens ECiaM Laws


The citizens of Every Citizen is a Man got their first taste of why Women are not permitted to enter Every Citizen is a Man after an absurd press release following Qazox's 3-1 win over Le Crap.


I don't think they have a clue what's going on. Then they try and blame it on the man, like usual. But just think about this. If the hand ball occured in the box, it wouldn't have been a foul on the keeper. If it was determined to be a foul in the box, it would have been a penalty kick. If they want to make up stories about male incompetence, they should first check to make sure they are sensical. The keeper was clearly out of the box when he stuck an arm out and thats why its been ruled a foul. She's lucky her defender had recovered or else he would have been sent off for the offense. Naturally the result was a free kick, as typically happens when there is a foul in open play.


The Every Citizen Government was quick to criticize the female reporters from Qazox and use them along with images of barbaric painted women attempting to climb fences at ECiaM customs to further cement the legitimacy of their policies against women.

One Down, Eight to Go
GREEN WOMBAT HERALD

One victory down and eight more hopefully, and Green Wombat will hoist the Cup.

A game Haraki squad put up a good fight, but our Ermines at Bloke Military Base, showed why they are contenders for the cup. Down 1-0 in the 79th minute, Cieloha showed why she is now one of the best in the world by scoring twice within a 5 minute span giving us the 2-1 victory. While for the first 80 minutes, the Ermines looked a bit intimadated by the 50,000 men in the stands, they showed the true heart of a champion and managed to pull off a good win. Up next for the Ermines is Jeruselem. The 3-times champs. The only team to have made all 8 quarterfinals. 4-time finalists, 6-time semi-finalists..yadda-yadda-yadda. Thier time is over. the Ermines pull off a mild upset 3-2 to begin their reign on Women's football, by knocking off the Queens.

Cieloha- (1,2) 80', 84'

Sativaville Stoner

1-1, although it should have been 6-1, the way Etresse Intenso played. The Lady Stoners were very lucky as their youth overcame the experience of Etresse Intenso. De Vrum scored in the 36th giving E.I the early lead, but the play of the Mathes kept Sativaville in it. Kim Mathe tied it up at 1-1 in the 62nd minute following a free kick by her Cousin Vicki. Dana had a chance in the 86th to put Sativaville up 2-1, but her free kick was deflected over the net.

Up next is Jeru FC, who stunned Toranat earlier today 4-2. Should be a great matchup, youth and exuberance vs. military disipline. Sativaville wins it 3-2.

Three Stars:
Kim Mathe- goal 62'
Vicki Mathe- assist
Terri Mathe- 11 shots/10 saves

"...so, we bid farewell from the first day's action at the World Cup...a day when women's lib took a little bit of a back seat. Goodbye."

The 90 Minutes credits rolled over a backdrop of goals, guns and guys as the Wentland team paid scant attention. Edwina Bluff was astonished to find that most of them were peering at a magazine and giggling.

"What's up, girls? Aren't you interested in Toranat-Jeru?"

"Not really, boss...take a look at this..."

Pette Power!

http://img252.imageshack.us/img252/504/pictureinscraplm7.gif

You may remember a few years ago that "Wentland: The Musical" was a bit of a surprise hit in Wentland theatres - and in particular the song "We Are The Midfield", performed by actresses representing the Petterham midfield, was the showstopper that got the audiences dancing.

Well, some bright spark at the Aries Rising Record Group has decided that it would be quite an idea to get the Petterham midfield to record it - and it is already set to scream into the top ten.

"We're really amazed", said Becki Stephens (left) as to the news. "We only did it for a bit of fun and to see it become a hit is quite something."

Gwennie Saunders (middle) has been hailed as a popstar in waiting for her sweet soprano but is playing down the fuss. "We're concentrating on the World Cup," she said, "and can't promote it. But I'm sure a hit record will give the squad a lift."

Katie Barnfield, reading it out, had to pause as the squad laughed. Gwennie, Becki and Rosie were meanwhile turning beetroot in a corner. "No wonder you were goofing around with that photographer last week..."

Rosie Dougall concurred. "We're not so interested in being number one in the pop charts...only in the football charts."

The squad exploded. "I've seen less cheese in a cheddar factory in Cheeseland," laughed Rach Horne. "That's brie-lliant!!!"

Rosie stuck her tongue out. "You're just jealous that we're pop stars..."

Edwina Bluff was not so pleased however. "You have to be careful with all this...these distractions are not conducive to a World Cup campaign..."

"Quite right," said captain Lucinda Rhodes. "You'd never catch me do something like that."

Lucinda Rhodes was surprised to see Katie Barnfield smirk. Hmm, she thought, what does she know?

The interviewer on BSC sport was relentless.

"Still coach, FIVE nil? The men's team was hardly that....anemic."

Coach Alex Feodorov was livid.

"Look. I can't explain this any clearer THEY'RE MEN!! It's just my humble opinion, but a country that actively persecutes women shouldn't be allowed to host a football tournament meant to empower them!"

The reporter didn't back off. "Well, foreign media was hardly any less merciful, as Dazza Dallas of Jeruselem called your team 'bad' and said you wouldn't move on."

Alex really brought out the daggers now. "Well, if you'd rather listen to some joke of an ex-footballer with her hand up her skirt half the time, that's your choice. I'd rather bank on us winning our next two games."

"You really think you can beat Qazox?"

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't think we could beat the best in the world."

The Matchday 2 Scores are in. Just remember who's tank that is outside the house your team is staying in!

Group 1: Games at Bloke Military Base
Jeruselem 1-2 Green Wombat
Quakmybush 1-2 Haraki
Group 2: Games at Lord Castle Arena
Qazox 2-3 Every Citizen is a Man
Le Crap 1-2 Coocoostan
Group 3: Games at Wolf Sector Location
Cafundéu 2-0 Yafor 2
Starblaydia 2-1 Lovisa
Group 4: Games at Chap Field
Toranat 1-2 Estresse Intenso
Jeru FC 2-4 Sativaville


Group 1
1-Green Wombat (2-0-0) 6pts +2
2-Jeruselem (1-0-1) 3pts +1
3-Haraki (1-0-1) 3pts +0
4-Quakmybush (0-0-2) 0pts -3
Group 2
1-Every Citizen is a Man (2-0-0) 6pts +6
2-Qazox (1-0-1) 3pts +1
3-Coocoostan (1-0-1) 3pts -4
4-Le Crap (0-0-2) 0pts -3
Group 3
1-Cafundéu (2-0-0) 6pts +4
2-Starblaydia (1-0-1) 3pts -1
3-Yafor 2 (1-0-1) 3pts -1
4-Lovisa (0-0-2) 0pts -2
Group 4
1-Sativaville (1-1-0) 4pts +2
2-Estresse Intenso (1-1-0) 4pts +1
3-Jeru FC (1-0-1) 3pts +0
4-Toranat (0-0-2) 0pts -3

Woman in pink standing next some guys holding large guns

"This is Dazza Dallas at the Women's World Cup 9 in ECIAM. Another round of games today. Apparently I need this military escort so don't mind these guys with big guns. They like big guns around here. In Group 1, Jeruselem took on Green Wombat and Haraki faced off with Quakmybush. Actually saying Quakmymbush around here is not a good idea because someone might think I said Quack my bush. Err, not something you say when there's a lot of men about."

"Green Wombat beat Jeruselem today - it was like a semi-final again except it was not the knockout stage. thank goodness. The Angels fell TWO ONE - and it was no boring old game. It had drama, action, dummy spats, and so on. The crowd were entertained all the way but the Green Wombat team came out winners. My niece Rashina Dallas got sent off again. She's got a real temper - don't know where it came from. Her mum isn't like that, but that's Rashina for you. She's getting married after this Women's World Cup too. Dallas girls must get married or it's a blight on the family."

"Haraki continued the miserable cup for Quakmybush, beating them err TWO ONE. Actually five of eight games today finished TWO ONE. Something funny going on but Haraki are back in business. The Quakmybush team are still last with no wins. Jeruselem need to regroup and play the Haraki team next. The Green Wombats should account for Quakmybush on current form."

"Group 2 - The Lady Oxen crashed to the man team, losing THREE TWO. The hosts can gloat but I think the Qazox press will really get wind up and give the hosts a big blast. There's going to be fireworks and the Qazox vs ECIAM relation is not going to get any better. The Lady Oxen are going to be really fired up next game against Coocoostan. Coocoostan beat the crap team from Le Crap - yes TWO ONE."

"Group 3 - Yafor 2 crashed losing to the improving Cafundéu. Score was TWO NIL for a change - and as I said before this group is interesting. No real favourites - all good teams here. Lovisa had a bad day losing to the Cherries from Starblaydia, well you know the score by now. This is an even group and I'm not going pick the teams who make it from here."

"Group 4 - Sativaville shot down the girls from Jeru FC. Jeru FC went down with a fight losing to the better team TWO FOUR, and showed the Jeruselem girls are learning fast. Sativaville are favoured at the best puppet team in this Group. Toranat lost again, this time to the dark horse puppet Estresse Intenso. And you know what the score is - I don't need to tell you."

"The big headlines here are the men beating Qazox and the wombats beating Jeruselem. Watch the ECIAM and Qazox press as they trade insults. That's why people watch this cup, women are drama queens and well it makes things to exciting. I provide the sex bit. See you all later, I just have to find an ice cream stall somewhere in this military base."

Group 1: Games at Bloke Military Base
Jeruselem 1-2 Green Wombat
Quakmybush 1-2 Haraki

Group 2: Games at Lord Castle Arena
Qazox 2-3 Every Citizen is a Man
Le Crap 1-2 Coocoostan

Group 3: Games at Wolf Sector Location
Cafundéu 2-0 Yafor 2
Starblaydia 2-1 Lovisa

Group 4: Games at Chap Field
Toranat 1-2 Estresse Intenso
Jeru FC 2-4 Sativaville

Lake Porter Sun
9th time we've done this. The Cup for 36 years old? Hell, our Editor isn't even that old.

PROTEST!!!!

Qazox has launched an offical protest about the results, the refereeing and just about everything else that happened in today's match against Every Citizen is a Man.

The Lady Oxen were called for a WWC record 5 yellow cards and had 2 players sent off the pitch in the waning moments of the match. Qazox also set a record by being whistled for 23 fouls, while somehow ECAIM was only whistled for 3. The referee, clearly biased due to his wearing of the ECAIM colors on his sleeve, whistled the Lady Oxen for 3 fouls in the penalty area, leading to 3 penalty kick goals for ECIAM. Maverick in the 23rd, Dick in the 57th and Joseph Harley with the winner in the 80th minute. A televeison replays showed, all three fouls should not have been called, as clearly the ECIAM men flopped on each occurance.

Grethen Bucci tied it at 1-1 in the 35th off a corner kick and O'thi H'wu tied it at 2-2 in the 68th minute following a hard tackle by Cedrick, that in ant other match would have warrented at least a yellow card. But the ticky-tack fouls called against Qazox came to a head in stoppage time, of which there was 12 minutes of.

Neva Rehder, in the 92nd minute, was taken down by her hair by Dick, and no foul was called, so Neva got up and squarely kicked Dick right in the wedding tackle. Dick was taken off the field whimpering like a little girl, but the kick heard 'round the world resulted in a 11-10 advantage. Just four minutes later. Sierra Lopes, who earlier was given a yellow card, was felt up by Mr. Big Shot, and she promply kicked Mr. Big Shot in the face, opening a 6-inch long gash in his cheek. Both sides then rushed the field, but the referee, in his only wise decision, ended the match. The loss was the first in the group stage for the Lady Oxen in 16 years.

This whole tourney has been frought with Sexism, and Qazox has threatened to withdraw from the Cup, unless impartial referees are brought in for all ECIAM matches.

Scoring Summary:
ECIAM- BMaverick 23' (pk), Dick 57' (pk), Joseph Harley- 80' (pk)
Yellow Cards: NONE
QAZOX- Bucci(2)- 35'; O. H'wu- (1) 68'
Yellow Cards: Bucci- 22', Sierra Lopes- 56', Chelsea Daley- 79', Hope Judson-85', I'hin H'wu- 96'
Red Cards: Neva Rehder- 92', Sierra Lopes- 97'

(ooc: NsWiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Women%27s_World_Cup_9 (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Women%27s_World_Cup_9))

QBS NEWS

The protest of Qazox against ECAIM has lead to clashes with police outside of the ECIAM Consulate in Qazox City. Here's a few pictures taken from the protest:

Protesters walking towards the Consulate
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/68/S24_Global_Justice_3.jpg/800px-S24_Global_Justice_3.jpg


Qazox City Police outside of the Consulate
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/52/Protest_0004b.JPG/519px-Protest_0004b.JPG



Protesters begin to throw rocks at the Consulate
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/22/Protest_0116.JPG/800px-Protest_0116.JPG

Police fire tear gas into crowd.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6f/Ftaapolice.png

There have been not any reported injuries, but 20 people have been arrested for "Violent Demonstration" which carries a maximum sentence of 4 years if convicted.

Sativaville Stoner

Good win for the Lady Stoner today as they beat Jeru Fc 4-2, in a match that was not as close as it looked. Vicki Mathe scored her 1st international goal in the 14th minute to start the scoring, which Sativaville did early and often. Lasonya Decena added the second and third in the 36th and 41st minutes giving the Lady Stoners a 3-0 lead at the half. Kim Mathe ended the Sativaville scoring with a goal in the 50th minute, and with the team up 4-0, Head Coach Andrea Childress-Turner subbed out the Mathe Cousins, except for Dana. The switch seemed to give life to Jeru FC, as #5 scored in the 67th and 74th minutes to tighten up the match a bit, but Jeru FC couldn't get any closer.

Up next is Toranat, who lost to Estresse Intenso 1-2. A win vs. Toranat, and Toranat could be just about eliminated from contention. A close one ends in a 2-2 draw.



Three Stars:
Lasonya Decena- 2 goals (1,2) 36', 41'
Vicki Mathe- Goal 14', 2 assists
Kim Mathe- Goal (2), 50', assist

Two Down, Seven to Go
GREEN WOMBAT HERALD

Jeruselem, you have met your match at it is the Ermines. Jeruslem jumped out to an early 1-0 lead thanks to Rashina Dallas, but Rashina's temper would cost the Angels the match as Cieloha scored in the 83rd minute on a penalty kick, after Rashina took a kick at the referee after being called for impediment(sic). Miyasaka added a goal in the 42 to tie it up at 1-1 just before half, but Rashina Dallas will be remembered for her lapse of consentration, and it may cost Jeruselem the top spot in the group.

Up next is Quakmybush, who have seemingly regressed to a newcomer. Ermines in a walk 3-1.

Miyasaka- (1) 42'
Cieloha- (3) 83'(pk)

Women win at WWC improve to 1-1.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v465/mriggs17/CoocoostanskySport.jpg
Every Citizen is a Man-


Coocoostan improved to 1-1 with a 2-1 win over deftly named Le Crap at the 9th Women's World Cup in Every Citizen is a Man. Anna Khodorovskaia scored in the 23rd and 86th minutes, on both ends of an opposing goal. The win puts the Ibix at 1-1, tied for 2nd in the group after a 5-0 loss to the host side yesterday. The tournament has been somewhat suspect, as the male only nation has issued only a limited number of visas for women, entered a team made entirely of men and supplied referees who to say the least, have had their integrity questioned. That was evident in the 2-1 win over Qazox today, in which home side fouls went unpunished and all three goals came from PKs. Qazox suggested pulling out of the tournament and there is word from Coocoobad that a sympathy pullout could be in order, esepecially with the violent play of ECiaM in the first match.


http://www.uefachampionsleague.com/MultimediaFiles/Photo/competitions/WUnder19/321826_MEDIUMSQUARE.jpg



Starting goaltender Irinia Prokhorenko was taken off on a stretcher after catching a deliberate elbow on a high ball inside the 18. Coocoostan's next match is tomorrow versus Qazox, and will mark the halfway point of the round robin.

"Has the post arrived yet?"

"Katie, that's about the billionth time you've asked that. No it hasn't. Are you expecting a deluge of Valentine's cards or something?"

"Obviously, yes. But I'm, er, expecting something from the book people."

"Wow, Katie, never knew you could read."

"Thhhpt."

Katie Barnfield stormed out. Rach Horne peeped from around a curtain. "Has she gone?"

"Yes."

"OK, got it here..."

Horne produced the envelope sent to the spa. The return address gave it away. "Butterfly Model Agency." "Get the rest of the squad in, Sham..."

http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/3158/barnfieldzj5.jpg

Katie Barnfield is the young, dynamic centre-forward for Oldhill Academy and you will remember her for her memorable goal in the World Cup Final. She has an outgoing and bubbly personality and is available for photoshoots as soon as the current World Cup finishes. She has her own car and is willing to travel. No nudity.


The squad exploded in laughter. "Bubbly? She makes the Paranoid Android look like Graeme Norton..."

Edwina Bluff meanwhile heard the laughter from the debrief room and was pleased that the squad seemed to be in such a good mood. "Maybe they're watching the Jeruselem highlights..."

Jeruselem Government News

"Moaner" takes over as Captain

Jeruselem's new captain is Monique Alexander, a friend of Dazza Dallas and like Dazza has trouble keeping her clothes on when there is a camera around. Women's World Cup 9 coach Debbie Dallas was forced to sack her own daughter as Captain after again being sent off, this time during the loss against Green Wombat.

Rashina Dallas apologised to the Jeruselem fans
"I have to control my temper. I was the Captain and it's my responsibility to keep my cool. My Mum and Aunty never got sent off like this, so I cannot blame them for setting a bad example. Monique Alexander will get my full support. I'm going to take Anger Management classes - I need them. I'm getting married so I have to fix this problem, I don't want to be Dallas girl who never gets married. It's shameful for the family."

Faith Fumbles declined to become Captain as she didn't feel she was up to the task at hand.

The new captain Monique Alexander has the nickname "Moaner" due to her other job. Interesting Dazza's nickname used by her husband is "Cuddles", these two have lot in common.

When pressed about the problems with current cup, team spokeschick Dazza Dallas said
"It's under review. We are not going with withdraw and are not planning to unless we feel the need to. I'm not ruling out the prospect either, but at the moment we are aiming to play this cup out. We feel for the Qazox team because we are very similar team really. The Lady Oxen don't cheat, they are a good team. Between us, there's five cups and many finals appearances. Both teams know what we need to win and at the moment, if Qazox are unsure so are we."

Jeru FC management did not want to comment only saying "Dazza Dallas is the official spokeschick for us. Please refer to whatever she's been authorised to say"

LANDAU INSTITUTE'S NEWS - ESTRESSE INTENSO'S GIRLS PLAYING WELL

After the first two games of the Women's World Cup 9, the Landau Institute's team, which is representing the country of Estresse Intenso, is playing very well. The team had a good first game against Sativaville, which ended in a draw. Then, defeated the powerful squad of Toranat by the result of 2x1. Now the team will play against Jeru FC.

The coach and the players are happy with the good results, but they know that the next game will be very difficult. "We need to be prepared for them. No matter the result, we must play." This obvious advice is what the coach uses to motivate its players. The midfielders Maulnus and Serrano are currently the best players of the team.

CAFUNDÉU CONTINUES IN GOOD FORM

The Golden Girls of Cafundéu continued playing well and won another game, this time defeating the Yafor 2 team by the result of two against zero. This time, Fernanda Garcia was the best player of the game, scoring a goal and giving the assist to the goal of Luísa. The players are preparing themselves for the game against Lovisa, the worst team of the group, but this doesn't mean that Cafundéu already won.

The players refused to comment about the incidents between Qazox and Every Citizen is a Man. The goalkeeper Caroline only said: "We prefer to not get involved. Qazox is a country that have very good relationships with ours and Every Citizen is a Man is the host country, so we need to respect them too." The players also still aren't adapted with the strange habits of the country, but are trying to get adapted. "It isn't easy, but we're trying", said the defender Luana."

About the group, the main stars of the team, Fernanda Garcia and Ana Laura, talked with the press. "We're playing very well and we have great chances to go to the next stage. If we go, it'll be already an excellent job, as we only went to the quarterfinals once, in the last Women's World Cup", said Fernanda Garcia. Ana Laura had a different speech: "If we proceed, be sure that we'll try to continue winning, and maybe try to win even the title." Of course it seems a bit exaggerated.

The coach Franciele Karamarad is excited with the good work that the team is making. "I just came here. I'm not the responsible for this. The girls, the players, they are the responsible. It's very good to be the coach and to work with them. They're so lively and funny. Only Serginho Mallandro is funnier than Luana, for example."

So, the team will continue playing with the same formation of the first games, that is: Caroline, Vanessa, Luana, Morena and Sarah; Letícia, Alice, Nanda and Fernanda Garcia; Ana Laura and Luísa. Some players are winning chances in the team, as Souto Maior, Sabrininha, Nina and Ana Beatriz, but the starters will probably be the main ones.

Players Rest on Every Citizen's Day


The players in the Womens' World Cup IX got the day off today for Every Citizen's Day, a Celebration of the history of Every Citizen is a Man. The Every Citizen is a Man government made no official response to the Qazoxian demand for non-partisan referees to be brought in for the duration of the tournament, but it is believed they are entertaining the idea.

A source close to the government today told the Every Citizen Press that the Every Citizen is a Man government was planning to issue a challenge to the nations calling for new officials at certain matches. The idea was that the Every Citizen is a Man government would allow new officials to be brought in, if and only if those Citizens came from the nearby and unaffiliated Island of Jeptipmor. The people of Jeptipmor live as a secluded people, and while leading a thriving social life amongst themselves, they rarely if ever leave their Island and have no political affiliations with any nation, sex or entity.

The Every Citizen is a Man government is believed that only officials from Jeptipmor could be more impartial than themselves, and are not believed to be entertaining the approval of new officials from any other nations. In other news, helicopters have successfully airlifted a handful of Every Citizen nationals from a safe location in Qazox after they escaped from their Every Citizen Consulate via an underground tunnel. The Every Citizen government has allowed angry Qazoxians to clash outside the consulate, endangering the lives of Qazoxians without informing either the nation or the people of Qazox that there were no government officials inside to accost should anyone have made it through the gates.

The secrecy surrounding these events may or may not increase political hostility between the two nations. In one final piece of news, the supreme council of Every Citizen is a Man has put to vote legislation that, if passed, would invite Dazza Dallas and Coocoostan's #9 player to a special meeting inside the government headquarters to 'discuss the future' of the Every Citizen is a Man population.

(ooc: So no scores today.. NP.. gives our Special forces more time to put more saltpeter in your drinking water... lol)

Edwina Bluff was looking through Hype! magazine when she found an article of which she was unaware.

That's My Goal

http://img54.imageshack.us/img54/6130/cassidyof5.png

Kirsten Cassidy of Oldhill Academy and Togger from Thirty Below? Who picked them to get together? Well, it seems to work and the football/music couple show their style for Hype!...

She sighed and headed for the players' lounge, to have a word with the reserve goalkeeper about unapproved media activity. On her way she heard cheering and laughter and wondered what was happening; maybe they were watching some of the highlights from yesterday.

She opened the door to see them watching something on the telly. A big green thing. At first glance it looked like a pitch. On second glance she realized it was a big vat of slime where kids seemed to be playing some sort of game of finders' keepers. And in the middle was a larger figure dripping in green.

Fireworks went off on the telly and the figure in the middle wiped her eyes and yelled "fantastic!!!! You've won the star prize!!!! Congratulations!!!! Thanks for joining us...and hope to see you on the next edition of "Foy's Fighters"..."

Bluff snapped off the set as the credits rolled. "Look, Anne, you're meant to clear these things with me before you go ahead..."

Lucinda Rhodes backed up her boss. "Yes, you'd never catch me doing anything so cheap as a rubbish kids' show..."

"Oh no?" smirked Katie Barnfield. And she showed the front page of "The Clarion"...

"No! No! NOOOO!!! They're OLD pictures!!!!!"

(it's not that rude, really) (http://img405.imageshack.us/img405/8896/lucinda10ch9.jpg)

Players Rest on Every Citizen's Day


The players in the Womens' World Cup IX got the day off today for Every Citizen's Day, a Celebration of the history of Every Citizen is a Man. The Every Citizen is a Man government made no official response to the Qazoxian demand for non-partisan referees to be brought in for the duration of the tournament, but it is believed they are entertaining the idea.

A source close to the government today told the Every Citizen Press that the Every Citizen is a Man government was planning to issue a challenge to the nations calling for new officials at certain matches. The idea was that the Every Citizen is a Man government would allow new officials to be brought in, if and only if those Citizens came from the nearby and unaffiliated Island of Jeptipmor. The people of Jeptipmor live as a secluded people, and while leading a thriving social life amongst themselves, they rarely if ever leave their Island and have no political affiliations with any nation, sex or entity.

The Every Citizen is a Man government is believed that only officials from Jeptipmor could be more impartial than themselves, and are not believed to be entertaining the approval of new officials from any other nations. In other news, helicopters have successfully airlifted a handful of Every Citizen nationals from a safe location in Qazox after they escaped from their Every Citizen Consulate via an underground tunnel. The Every Citizen government has allowed angry Qazoxians to clash outside the consulate, endangering the lives of Qazoxians without informing either the nation or the people of Qazox that there were no government officials inside to accost should anyone have made it through the gates.

The secrecy surrounding these events may or may not increase political hostility between the two nations. In one final piece of news, the supreme council of Every Citizen is a Man has put to vote legislation that, if passed, would invite Dazza Dallas and Coocoostan's #9 player to a special meeting inside the government headquarters to 'discuss the future' of the Every Citizen is a Man population.


Dazza Dallas and Monique Alexander reading local news

Dazza: Eh, why me?
Monique: You're short, talk like a bimbo, wear skimpy dresses and no underwear, act like a schoolgirl and like men?

Dazza: Apart from that?
Monique: You are hot property too. I guess you are also a reporter and spokesperson for JGN too, and respected ex-player.

Dazza: Eh, why the Coocoostan #9 then?
Monique: Young and attractive I guess

Dazza: Well, sounds good to me.
Monique: You called Qazox team yet?

Dazza: Not yet, later today
Monique: Should be interesting this ECIAM thing

Dazza: Sure will. I'm not into politics but I am a female rep for football.

After the Every Citizens Day break, matches have resumed.

Group 1: Games at Bloke Military Base
Jeruselem 2-2 Haraki
Green Wombat 5-0 Quakmybush
Group 2: Games at Lord Castle Arena
Qazox 3-2 Coocoostan
Every Citizen is a Man 0-0 Le Crap
Group 3: Games at Wolf Sector Location
Cafundéu 4-1 Lovisa
Yafor 2 2-4 Starblaydia
Group 4: Games at Chap Field
Toranat 2-4 Sativaville
Estresse Intenso 0-0 Jeru FC


Group 1
1-Green Wombat (3-0-0) 9pts +7
2-Jeruselem (1-1-1) 4pts +1
3-Haraki (1-1-1) 4pts +0
4-Quakmybush (0-0-3) 0pts -8
Group 2
1-Every Citizen is a Man (2-1-0) 7pts +6
2-Qazox (2-0-1) 6pts +2
3-Coocoostan (1-0-2) 3pts -5
4-Le Crap (0-1-2) 1pts -3
Group 3
1-Cafundéu (3-0-0) 9pts +7
2-Starblaydia (2-0-1) 6pts +1
3-Yafor 2 (1-0-2) 3pts -3
4-Lovisa (0-0-3) 0pts -5
Group 4
1-Sativaville (2-1-0) 7pts +4
2-Estresse Intenso (1-2-0) 5pts +1
3-Jeru FC (1-1-1) 4pts +0
4-Toranat (0-0-3) 0pts -5

<Attractive looking blonde in an Angels uniform>

"Hi this is Monique Alexander or Moaner my nickname at the Women's World Cup 9 in man's land or ECIAM as Dazza would say. I'm the new captain too. You ask where's Dazza? She's down with some flu virus or cold so she's not here. So someone here has to step and do a Dazza. It's me this time. Today Jeruselem played the Haraki team and came out with a TWO ALL draw. We were missing Rashina Dallas today due to her red card and well, the defense just was not the same without her. We spent a lot of time defending probably because none of current defenders could the same type of job as Rashina, who often attacks. While the attack should have scored more goals, we let in two silly goals - due to a breakdown in our normal system of defense without Rashina. I guess Rashina shouting and ranting at slack defenders works well and I don't do a lot of that."

"In the other Group 1 game, Green Wombat smashed QuakMyBush FIVE NIL. The Bushy people have lost all their games while the Ermines are undefeated. We are equal with Haraki on points so we need to beat the Bushy people next game and also the Wombats. This will make our last game far less critical. I must say, the QuakMyBush team don't seem to be playing all that well for an established team."

"In Group 2, the Lady Oxen had to fight and finally put down a valiant Coocoostan THREE TWO. One hell of a fight, but the Qazox team showed why they are so good under pressure when needs be. Coocoostan did well but the better team still won. Well, Le Crap played not so crap! They drew with the local men's team NIL ALL. Le Crap did something the Qazox or Coocoostan team could not - take points from the man' team. If they do it again, the Lady Oxen will be happy as they could steal the top spot from the man's team."

"Group three! Cafundéu trashed Lovisa but then that was expected. FOUR ONE and the Cafundéu team look the form team in this group. Lovisa are gone unless they win games but with the other teams in this group - don't think so. Starblaydia beat our rivals Yafor 2 FOUR TWO, and make their life harder as these two teams are going the ones fighting for the spot behind Cafundéu. Don't write off Yafor 2 yet! They have three games and could still do the job. The Cherries can beat the group leader, I think the issue is settled."

"Group 4 - the puppet group. Our military girls did a great job holding the Estresse Intenso team to a scoreless draw. Jeru FC have the same record as the Angels except Group 1 teams are much stronger so there's no real comparison. Yes, they are in with a chance. All they need is a win or two and yes, they can progress but it's not going to be easy at all with the Sativaville bashing up on a lousy Toranat team FOUR TWO. Sativaville should make it from here unless they crash. Estresse Intenso have one win and Jeru FC are going to fight for the spot."

"So, it's going be tight in most groups. Group 1 in paper is hardest group with 3 semi-finalists well, it's tight in the top 3 unless the Quak team wake from their nightmare. The Wombats look assured of a spot in the finals. Group 2 is a litle more even but Coocoostan can still make a stand and challenge the best as the Le Crap held the man's team to a draw. Group 3 is interesting with only Lovisa looking to miss out and the impressive Cafundéu winning all games. Group 4 is really tight with only Toranat being the joker in the pack."

"Dazza should be back but I'll be here if she isn't. She's probably keeping the local window cleaners entertained right now, but Dazza likes to put on show even when she's off camera. Please watch the games, with me bouncing about. I know my fans out there are watching too. Love you all, see you next time! Hopefully our Dazza is back in action. Rashina would normally do this but she's been doing yoga for most of the day. Best to leave her for anger management treatment. So it's all to do, Jeruselem need more two wins and hope Haraki lose a game or two. It'd be helpful if Haraki lose to the Ermines too."

OOC Corrected

Lake Porter Sun
9th time we've done this. The Cup for 36 years old? Hell, our Editor isn't even that old.

ECIAM Day?? Yea....right

After the 2-day holiday, the so called Every Citizens Day break, which is pretty meaningless when every one in the country is male, Qazox got back to doing what they do best, win. Although Coocoostan gave us a run, they just weren't good enough.

Although Qazox had to sit 3 starters due to the 2 reds and a 2nd yellow for another, the Lady Oxen lead through out and only a couple of late gaols kept it close. I'hin H'wu started the scoring in the 30th minute and her sister O'thi added two of her own in the 63rd and 68th to make it 3-0. But #5 of Coocoostan seemed to be a bit quicker thatn some of the reserve defender and scored int he 75th and 86th minutes to make it seem closer than it really was.

Up next is Le Crap, whom we've already beat 3-1. With a win and, I can't believe I'm writing this, a ECIAM win, we advance to the quarterfinals. Shouldn't be too hard Qazox 5-1.


Scoring Summary:
Coocoostan- #5- 75', 86'
Yellow Cards: NONE
QAZOX- I. H'wu(3)- 35'; O. H'wu- (2,3) 63', 68'
Yellow Cards:None

(ooc: NsWiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Women%27s_World_Cup_9)

(ooc: Jeruselem, the team name is ERMINES not wombats)

Three Down, Six to Go
GREEN WOMBAT HERALD

Halfway through qualifing and the Ermines are 3-0-0, tied with Cafundeu for the best record and goal differential, after today's 5-0 thrashing of World Cup 33 hosts Quakmybush. Miyasaka led off the scoring in the 12th minute, then Cieloha added 2 more, one just before half to make it 3-0. The two forwards would each add one morein the second half to complete the win.

Up next is Haraki, whom we beat on MD 1 2-1. They will pose a challenge, but the way the Ermines have played so far, it might not be even close. Ermines clinch a quarterfinal spot 4-2.

Miyasaka- (2,3) 12', 56'
Cieloha- (4,5,6,) 23', 45+', 70'

Sativaville Stoner

At the halfway point, a few people thought that the Lady Stoners would be in first place, and somehow we are. A come-from behind win against Toranat has put us in the driver's seat for the last Quarterfinal berth. And for once, the Mathes had little to do with the win, as Danelle Lehtinen, who was a surprise starter for Kim Mathe, who sat out today's match with a sprained knee. Danelle Lehtinen started the comeback in the 34th minute, as Terri Mathe allowed 2 early goals in the 10th and 18th minutes, putting the Lady Stoners down 0-2. Lehtinen's goal made it 2-1, but Sativaville couldn't equalize it before the half. But in the second half, Lehtinen scored just 45 second into the second half, adn the momentum was shifted our way. Rina Childress-Turner added her 1st goal in the 61st minute to put it at 3-2, while Lasonya Decena finished it off in the 74th with her 3rd goal in qualifing.

Up next is a rematch with Etresse Intenso. Last time, E.I should have won, but mental mistakes kept them from doing so. But the Lady Stoners have gelled a bit the last couple of matches and it should be a good match. Another draw 2-2 is my prediction.



Three Stars:
Danelle Lehtinen- 2 goals (1,2) 34, 46', 1 assist
Rina Childress-Turner- Goal (1) 61' 3 assists
Lasonya Decena (3)- Goal 74'

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v465/mriggs17/CoocoostanskySport.jpg

Ibix give Lady Oxen a run, lose 3-2

It was a must win game for the Fighting Ibix, but they came up somewhat short. Still, Katrina Suslova potted two goals, surging out of midfield and the team played their best game, despite the loss. The team looked well rested after a two day holiday in the host nation, who will be the next opponent, with the Ibix looking to avenge a 5-0 loss in the first match. Another loss will see the team at 1-3 and if current trends continue, eliminated and playing for pride. Of course they're well aware of that and looking to improve again.

Tomorrow's match can be seen live at 11PM on BSC Sport and joined in progress on BSC-RUS at 11:45.

"Shh!!!"

"Shhhhh!!!!" *giggle*

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!"

"Shush yourself."

"No, no, shhhhhhh!!!"

"Where's the latch?"

"Here, I've got smaller hands..."

*klunk*

"Go on, you sneak in first..."

*CRASH*

"Oh bogroll...who put that vase there?"

In an instant the light snapped on and the players froze. In the light stood a stentorian figure. One of the invaders spoke first.

"Bloody hell, thank God it's you, Sis."

"Never mind me...the boss will be on the warpath if she knew you were sneaking out...what's the story?"

"We were just going bloody stir crazy in here...we thought we'd just pop out for a while..."

"You're lucky I heard you getting over the wall. My room overlooks it...Edwina's is on the other side..."

"Yeah, we sussed that out..."

"Well, maybe we can arrange some sort of trip out...we could do with being relieved, maybe even go to ECIAM to prepare for the tournament..."

"Yeah, that might be an idea..."

CAFUNDÉU’S GIRLS CONTINUE IN GOOD FORM

After another victory, Cafundéu’s National Team in the Women’s World Cup is in a very good form, winning all the possible points. Now the team must repeat this performance in the next three games, to guarantee a place in the quarterfinals. The team’s best players still are Luana, Alice, Fernanda Garcia and Ana Laura. The coach Franciele is still surprised with the good form of the team.

“It’s my first experience as a coach. It’s marvelous. If we continue winning, we can make a great campaign in this World Cup.” The formation will probably continue being the same, and the supporters expect more good results to come.

(OOC: I didn't comment yesterday because Corinthians lost to Paulista by the result of 3x2 in the State Championship, scoring a goal in the 50th minute of the second half. So, I wasn't in a good mood...)

Head Coach Stefany Heisel has released this statement:

What the hell kind of crap country is this? First we had to stop games for Every Citizens Day which turns out to be not a day but three days of marches and parades. Now the games are suspended once again for some reason. What is it Small Pecker Day, Slap Women Night or maybe Overdose of Testosterone Week? ECIAM has to be the worst hosts ever, and I played in Noremark eight years ago, and had to stay in a log cabin during a week long blizzard there. If we don't get any answers soon, I'm pulling the team from this farce of a Cup.


The QFC does not in any shape or form condone Ms. Heisel's comments, but does share the opinion that ECIAM has been less than forthcoming in announcing delays to matches. The QFC has appealed to the WWC Council to have the matches moved, but no decision from the council has been made.

Monique: Hey, when's the next game Dazza? You should know!
Dazza: No idea, no one's told me anything.

Monique: Oh, does your sister know?
Dazza: I asked her and she didn't know either.

Monique: You called the local men officials about this?
Dazza: They wanted to help but they didn't know either. That's me being all girly and everything.

Monique: Girly?
Dazza: You know - talking like schoolgirl in a bathtub! Works on guys very well.

Monique: Well, training is all done and we aren't playing. I'm supposed to captain a team and we aren't even playing a game.
Dazza: What a mess.

Monique: Let's call the Qazox team, see what they are upto.
Dazza: Well, I'm calling the Qazox head coach Stefany Heisel.

Monique: Good idea.
Dazza: Anyone got her number?

Monique: Not me, I left my phone in my room?
Dazza: Oh here it is! Let's see what they plan to do? (rings number)

(ooc: Jeruselem hope you don't mind me doing the 1st half phone call? just go along with it.)

(the Phone call...after pleasantries of course)

Stephany: So Dazza, you didn't call to talk about our kids, What's really on your mind?

Dazza: Have you heard anything about when the next games are going to be held? I've tried everything, and they won't talk to me.

Stephany: Everything? and they still would talk? I guess that might confirm my bet with Kylie Rena. I think that ECAIM is trying to hold us hostage.

Dazza: Hostage?

Stephany: Yep. Have you actually gone around the country and seen it yet? Of cource you have, and tell me did you once, besides the teams see one female?

Dazza: Come to think of it, no I haven't. You do know that they invited me and #9 from Coocoostan to a "Special meeting" right?

Stephany: One guess as to what the special meeting will be about. I'm just surprised that they haven't contacted other teams yet. Hold on a Sec, there's a knock at the door....)

Dazza: What was that noise?

Stephany: Err, someone's knocking on the door here. Not sure if I should open it.

Dazza: Now, you're making me feel paranoid. Guys with big guns make me jumpy, let alone in a foreign nation which isn't an Jeruselem ally or friend. This hostage business - I'd be a good prize. You know like Princess Leia in Star Wars. I'd be some sex princess ... a trophy girl for the big boys.

Stephany: Now, should I open this door or pretend I'm not here? Maybe it's the special escort to this "Special Meeting" here to pick us up.

Dazza: I think I'd better pretend I'm having a early night. I'm getting all jittery now. I think all men in this nation know what I look like - without clothes so well that theory of Kylie Rena's better be just a paranoid delusion.

Stephany: I hope so, that knocking is making me more nervous.

There was an air of relief in the squad as they were being helicoptered for a day out in Bellstead. They had dressed in their party gear, which led to a shock for Edwina Bluff, not accustomed to Kirsten Cassidy's belt which passed for a skirt or Az Jackson's black slogans on black shirts with black jeans, black eyeliner and black everything.

Katie Barnfield needled the Petterham contingent. "Blimey, we're only going for a day...you don't need those big bags..."

As they were let loose Rosie Dougall, Gwennie Saunders and Becki Stephens subtly slipped away together from the rest of the squad. "They don't suspect, do they?" asked an anxious Becki. "No, I think we've covered tracks pretty well...none of them are into music...other than Az and we're not her taste..."

But Katie Barnfield was a little suspicious and she followed at a distance with Sammie Grady. "Where are they going? They're not hitting the clothes shops..."

Eventually the Petterham midfield slipped down an alleyway and the Oldhill players were unable to follow. "Secret ronday? They can't have admirers, surely?" laughed Katie.

Barnfield and Grady sidled away quietly, wondering whether to wait to see what would happen, but after half-an-hour gave up. They were in a shopping area so decided to window-shop a little; Barnfield checking out the latest styles, Grady just moping.

Then it happened that they were outside Rage Records, and heard music...and vocals...

"Hang on!!!!" cried Barnfield. "I recognize those voices!!!"

They slipped into the shop and saw on stage three girls bedecked in polka-dots performing in a live appearance. They were indeed familiar...

"Sammie, put this hat on and try to get it on your mobile...oh jeez, this is going to be hilarious...DON'T LET THEM SEE YOU..."

Katie Barnfield hid at the back of the crowd and was a little surprised at the rapturous reception the girls received. Sammie got back grinning. "Did you get anything?"

Sammie chuckled. "Not great quality...but I got something... (http://www.youtube.com/v/_ldy2tPnFMY)"

"Oh boy...we're gonna have some fun with this..."

Group 1: Games at Bloke Military Base
Quakmybush 0-2 Jeruselem
Haraki 2-2 Green Wombat
Group 2: Games at Lord Castle Arena
Le Crap 0-6 Qazox
Coocoostan 0-1 Every Citizen is a Man
Group 3: Games at Wolf Sector Location
Starblaydia 2-2 Cafundéu
Lovisa 2-3 Yafor 2
Group 4: Games at Chap Field
Jeru FC 3-2 Toranat
Sativaville 2-0 Estresse Intenso

Group 1
1-Green Wombat (3-1-0) 10pts +7
2-Jeruselem (2-1-1) 7pts +3
3-Haraki (1-2-1) 5pts +0
4-Quakmybush (0-0-4) 0pts -10
Group 2
1-Every Citizen is a Man (3-1-0) 10pts +7
2-Qazox (3-0-1) 9pts +8
3-Coocoostan (1-0-3) 3pts -6
4-Le Crap (0-1-3) 1pts -9
Group 3
1-Cafundéu (3-1-0) 10pts +7
2-Starblaydia (2-1-1) 7pts +1
3-Yafor 2 (2-0-2) 6pts -2
4-Lovisa (0-0-4) 0pts -6
Group 4
1-Sativaville (3-1-0) 10pts +6
2-Jeru FC (2-1-1) 7pts +1
3-Estresse Intenso (1-2-1) 5pts -1
4-Toranat (0-0-4) 0pts -6

In addition to the matchday scores, the Every Citizen is a Man organizing committee has extended a conditional letter of acceptance of the resignation of the Qazox team from the tournament, pending the confirmation of the team from Qazox. Future matches including the Qazox team will be delayed until the status of the team has been confirmed.

Edwina Bluff could not hide her concern very easily. Qazox withdrawing from the World Cup? Jeruselem players being invited into various strange rooms? All sorts of rumours were floating around the internet and she reflected that it was a good job that they had not left for ECIAM early.

Meanwhile, Rosie, Gwennie and Becki were sneaking out of the camp - again - and were being trailed by Katie and Sammie - again. The Petterham girls got into a taxi at the back entrance and sped off.

"That's torn it," said Katie, "they've got a car there...we can't follow them now."

"Oh no?" said Sammie, as she frantically waved down another taxi following. "There's a stroke of luck!"

"Where to, girls?" asked the cabbie.

"NOOOOO!!! Don't say it..."

"I have to...follow that car!!!!!!"

After twenty minutes' drive the Petterham girls arrived in Chadwick. Katie and Sammie asked the cabby to wait whilst they had "some business to attend to".

"Got your hat?"

"Yeah...got your glasses?"

"Of course."

Suitably disguised they noticed the biggest record shop in Chadwick was advertising an instore from "Wentland's newest pop stars". "C'mon, let's mingle with the sprogs..."

"Are you here for the Pettes?" asked an urchin.

"Duh, yeah, whatever, bovvered?" responded Sammie in perfect street.

"Dammit, Sammie, speak NORMALLY...you can't carry off chavtalk...I've seen you on wahoo..."

"Sammie? Who she? No, I am Nitra..."

"What-ever. Oh bloody hell, you've got me at it now...wait, here they come...mobiles at the ready?"

They took their footage and returned to the taxi. On the way back they checked their recording.

"I quite like it, (http://www.youtube.com/v/SQX4cupIjew)" said Sammie.

"Don't be daft...it's stupid and you're stupid...we are gonna so do something with this later..."

"OK, girls...back at the spa...that'll be forty-eight guineas..."

"WHHHAAAAA???"

"It's OK, Sammie...I've got an idea...wait a moment..."

Katie Barnfield went inside. Two minutes later Sammie Grady got a call on her mobile.

"Er, Sammie...can you pay? I'm a bit short..."

In addition to the matchday scores, the Every Citizen is a Man organizing committee has extended a conditional letter of acceptance of the resignation of the Qazox team from the tournament, pending the confirmation of the team from Qazox. Future matches including the Qazox team will be delayed until the status of the team has been confirmed.[/font]


QFC MEMO TO ECIAM
The Nation of Qazox is not going to withdraw from the Cup. The Statement made the other day by Head Coach Stefany Heisel, only reflects her feelings about the way this Tourenment has been run. The QFC has denied Ms. Heisel's request for withdrawl from the Cup, and in fact has suspended Ms. Heisel for the last two opening round matches due to her comments. THE LADY OXEN will not withdraw at this time.

Lake Porter Sun
9th time we've done this. The Cup for 36 years old? Hell, our Editor isn't even that old.

HEISEL SUSPENDED!!!

Qazox' head coach, Stephany Heisel, has been suspended for the remainder of the openign round of qualifiers due to her comments the other day. The QFC has stated that despite conflicts with ECIAM, they are not going to withdraw from the Cup. As for the match today, its was the H'wu party as both I'hin H'wu and O'Thi H'wu both scored a hat-trick against Le Crap, who was offically eliminated. The game wasn't close, and we're not gonna waste your time.

Up next is the re-match with ECIAM. Given the current sports and political situation between these teams, this match could go in any direction, but hopefully there is no violence between fans and/or the players. the match ends in a 1-1 draw.


Scoring Summary:
Le Crap- nothing
Yellow Cards: NONE
QAZOX- I. H'wu(4,5,6)- 12', 29', 68'; O. H'wu- (4,5,6) 37', 52', 82'
Yellow Cards:None

(ooc: NsWiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Women%27s_World_Cup_9)

Dazza
"Hey, I'm back! Dazza Dallas doing what Dazza does - whatever it is. This is the Women's World Cup 9 and the games have resumed. Group 1 is still very tight apart from one team playing like crap. Jeruselem took on that team - and we beat them as expected. Jeruselem beat QuakMyBush TWO NIL and effectively put then out of making the finals. New Captain Monique Alexander lead the team well on her first attempt but it was against a team not doing too well. Rashina Dallas was back from her red card offense and did well in defense and we looked a lot better for it as we were more settled at the back. So Jeruselem back on track after losing the last game - but we play the Ermines next! The Ermines played Haraki and we wanted the Ermines to win this, but Haraki held them to a draw 2 ALL. This makes the group even tighter than ever given the next games."

<Sneezes>

"Eh, cold here. We play the Ermines next and the Haraki should beat the Quakmybush team. So, it's all on the line with Ermines and Jeruselem attempting to get rid of the Haraki menace. We need a win against Green Wombat or Haraki next and we could lose the next two games. People, support the team!"

<Sneezes>

"Man, should have just stayed in my room. That's Group 1, now to Group 2 which is close too. Cafundéu drew the Cherries from Starblaydia 2 ALL. Both great teams and both still in the hunt but this result do not settle any position at all. Lovisa lost to Yafor 2 who needed the win. THREE TWO to rivals who were helped by the other teams drawing. Like Group 1, Group 2 is going to be settled in the last game."

"Group three, and it's looking more settled here. Qazox who did not withdraw from this cup trashed a crap team - named Le Crap and they played like Le Crap they are. Qazox played real football winning SIX NIL. The man team beat Coocoostan! Err, so the team from Coocoostan have it all to do as it looks like Group 3 will be settled quickly."

"Group 4 where people play with puppets and dance around in the rain. Sativaville booked themselves a spot, well almost, when they beat Estresse Intenso TWO NIL. The puppet of Oxen, is looking good. Our puppet, the military girls did over the Toranat AGAIN. Oh yeah, Jeru FC did the job and put out the hopes of Toranat. Well done to the Qazox and Jeruselem puppets."

"Summary of tables. Group 1 - Ermines, Jeruselem and Haraki 2 points behind. The Quaks are last. Group 2. The man team and Lady Oxen lead so far, than really the other two are gone. Group 3 - Cafundéu lead the Cherries with Yafor 2 one point behind them. Lovisa are goners. Group 4 - Sativaville lead Jeru FC with the Estresse Intenso two point behind Jeru FC. Toranat can book tickets home.So don't miss the game between the Ermines and Angels. I'll be there when Moaner leads the team on the quest to become the Queens of Football. Don't ask me if the man team wins this cup, they'd the queer queens of football - urk, what a thought."

"I'd like support my friend Stephany Heisel! Yes she said something wrong but you know - she's did it for the good of the game. She spoke her mind like I do and sometimes we get it wrong. But we do it because we love our women's football and want the best for it. All we want is a great Women's World Cup and if there are issue, we don't wait for them to blow up on our faces."

"On behalf of all the women here, I'm going say special hello to their partners and kids, and family. Family is everything."

<Rashina Dallas turns up>

Dazza:
"Hey, Rashina you want to say something?"

Rashina
"Yeah, I'm announcing my wedding is now official. One month after this World Cup is completed. Me and Rocky, are going have a big family like my mum Debbie and Dazza here. The wedding isn't going to be as big as Dazza's but it's going to be big still."

Dazza
"There you go, my niece is getting married to a pointy stick. Woah, those are going be interesting kids!"

Group 1: Games at Bloke Military Base
Quakmybush 0-2 Jeruselem
Haraki 2-2 Green Wombat

Group 2: Games at Lord Castle Arena
Le Crap 0-6 Qazox
Coocoostan 0-1 Every Citizen is a Man

Group 3: Games at Wolf Sector Location
Starblaydia 2-2 Cafundéu
Lovisa 2-3 Yafor 2

Group 4: Games at Chap Field
Jeru FC 3-2 Toranat
Sativaville 2-0 Estresse Intenso

Three and a half Down, five to Go
GREEN WOMBAT HERALD

Well at least we didn't lose, but a Draw kept us from clinching a quarterfinal berth as the Ermines rallied twice from a one-goal deficit to tie Haraki 2-2. Cieloha and Miyaska continue to score at will, but the Haraki Defense tighted up a bit and held them to only a goal each.

Up next is a re-match with Jeruselem. Only a tie is needed, as our goal differential is greater than Haraki's. But a loss, and Jeruselem re-takes the top spot. Both sides want the Group crown, as to make advancement to the semi's easier, so in a great match it ends in a 3-3 sister-kisser.

Miyasaka- (4) 23'
Cieloha- (7) 56'

Sativaville Stoner

Sativaville is almost Mathematically in as they beat Estresse Intentso 2-0, behind 2 goals from Kim Mathe, and a solid day for Terri Mathe in net. Kim got her goals in the 40th and 60th minutes, and Terri stopped all 13 shots she faced for her first shut-out in her young carrer.

Up next is Jeru FC, who currently sit in 2nd place. A win and Sativaville clinches the lone quarterfinal spot from this group. We won 4-2 last time out, and there is little that shows me that it won't happen again.



Three Stars:
Kim Mathe- 2 goals (3,4)- 40', 60'
Terri Mathe- 13 shots/13 saves
Rina Childress-Turner- 1 assist, 3 earned fouls.

CAFUNDÉU STOPS SEQUENCE OF VICTORIES

After a very difficult game against Starblaydia, Cafundéu drew the first game in this edition of the Women's World Cup. But this wasn't a bad result, as the team continues in the first place in the group and with extremely big chances to go to the next phase finishing in the first position in the group stage. There are two more games to be played.

The next game will be against Yafor 2, and the players are motivated to battle for another win. "A draw and we're in the next stage. It'll not be difficult", said the midfielder Alice. The coach announced that the team will use a different formation: Caroline, Vanessa, Luana, Sarah and Sabrininha; Letícia, Alice and Fernanda Garcia; Luísa, Ana Beatriz and Ana Laura.

Neva Rehder, Starting sweeper and current Interim coach of the Lady Oxen, has announced the return of the infamous body paint uniforms worn at Women's World Cup 8 against the same ECIAM team. When asked the reason why the uniform change, Rehder replied: "They worked the last time we did it, so why not try it again?" The ECIAM team has protested the use of such uniforms, but the WWC Council has denied the ECIAM request that the Qazox team must wear clothing during the match.

Jeruselem Government News

No rudy nudy for Jeruselem says Coach

Jeruselem coach Debbie Dallas said the Jeruselem are not playing in body paint like the Qazox team - as some people in Jeruselem have rumoured. She quashed any ideas of this happening despite having Jeruselem's number 1 pr0n star Monique Alexander as captain of the team.

"OK, my sister has a tendency to well, streak and Monique has funny other job but most of team do have modesty unlike two our resident crazy people here. They aren't as brave or shameless as Dazza or Monique are. Saying all that, I can't say Qazox doing the body paint thing is bad as it's not my place in this cup to say it's bad. Put it this way, get Dazza to report on the Qazox team playing nude, then there's instant ratings. The Lady Oxen are all good looking fit women or girls, so why not show it off? I don't know why the men complain, as if Dazza does stupid things - no one complains." Debbie Dallas said.

<Somewhere in the Jeru FC military training camp>

Major: Damn, who's ring this time of day! (picks up mobile).
Dazza: Hey, it's Dazza here.

Major: Oh hi Dazza, what are you up to?
Dazza: The girls all ready to play Sativaville? They are doing well, but the only team they've beaten is Toranat so far. Sativaville are good by puppet standards anyway.

Major: Yes, I've made sure there's no slacking around. Everyone had work hard today, so they should be ready.
Dazza: Good luck, but don't expect an easy game. At least you're not playing Green Wombat.

Major: Or Wentland. No, both our teams are not going have an easy time. Nothing like a bit hard work and a big challenge to get a team working I say.
Dazza: Hard work? Hehe. You guys get the Keanu Reeves stuff I sent up for the girls?

Major: Yes, we wondered what it is was. Some of the girls adore Keanu like you. He's a great role model for the girls too.
Dazza: Me then?

Major: Well, if you grew up - then yes.
Dazza: Don't think that's going to happen, even when I'm dead.

Major: I figured that. Have to get cracking, can't let my troops slack off.
Dazza: Good luck again.

Major: What's that bubbly noise in the background.
Dazza: Oh, I'm naked in hotel spa.

Major: You're not going to change much.

Stampede Ends Qazox-ECIAM Clash

A stampede just before half time at the Lord Castle Arena saw the referee blow his whistle to end the match after 39 minutes with no sign of a safe playing environment after the Qazoxian team taunted the Every Citizen is a Man fans with their naked female bodies without garb as they entered the pitch. Tensions rose in a high tempo affair which saw four goals, two from each side, before a strange incident which saw 'unacceptable contact' involving a nude Qazoxian woman. The Every Citizen fans, already on the edge of their seats, stormed the pitch in anger. When the chaos had cleared, three Women had to receive medical treatment, though it was unknown to what degree and whether or not they were associated with the Qazoxian team. It has not currently been determined if the match will be replayed, if the result will stand as was when the game was halted or if the match will simply not be played as both of the two teams have already clinched their place in the hat for the knockout round draw.


Group 1: Games at Bloke Military Base
Green Wombat 2-0 Jeruselem
Haraki 0-1 Quakmybush
Group 2: Games at Lord Castle Arena
Every Citizen is a Man A-A Qazox
Coocoostan 2-1 Le Crap
Group 3: Games at Wolf Sector Location
Yafor 2 1-3 Cafundéu
Lovisa 2-4 Starblaydia
Group 4: Games at Chap Field
Estresse Intenso 1-1 Toranat
Sativaville 2-2 Jeru FC

Group 1
1-Green Wombat (4-1-0) 13pts +9
2-Jeruselem (2-1-2) 7pts +1
3-Haraki (1-2-2) 5pts -1
4-Quakmybush (1-0-4) 3pts -9
Group 2
1-Every Citizen is a Man (3-1-0)** 10pts** +7
2-Qazox (3-0-1)** 9pts** +8
3-Coocoostan (2-0-3) 6pts -5
4-Le Crap (0-1-4) 1pts -10
Group 3
1-Cafundéu (4-1-0) 13pts +9
2-Starblaydia (3-1-1) 10pts +3
3-Yafor 2 (2-0-3) 6pts -4
4-Lovisa (0-0-5) 0pts -8
Group 4
1-Sativaville (3-2-0) 11pts +6
2-Jeru FC (2-2-1) 8pts +1
3-Estresse Intenso (1-3-1) 6pts -1
4-Toranat (0-1-4) 1pts -6

Rashina: Auntie! Auntie!
Dazza: Hey, hey Rashina.

Rashina: I need help.
Dazza: Getting sent off again during the Green Wombat didn't help the team did it?

Rashina: I know! I've got this terrible temper. Why doesn't Mum or you have it! I don't what to do.
Dazza: Monique wasn't too impressed either. You can't beat Green Wombat with 10 players. She wanted to attack but she couldn't score goals by removing a striker to replace you.

Rashina: Well, it's good Quakmybush beat Haraki then.
Dazza; Yes, Haraki could have overtaken us but the bushy folk did us a favour.

Rashina: I'm so moody, I don't know what's wrong with me! I want get married but who wants to marry someone like me?
Dazza: Well, it could be worse.

Rashina: I'm cannot play against Haraki and well, Mum's not happy with me.
Dazza: Well, all we need a draw or win so all's not lost Rashina.

Rashina: Maybe I should play for Jeru FC or something. They did a good job with Sativaville. I need that military discipline.
Dazza: Hey, got a question for you. How often you do the Dazza thing, eh?

Rashina: Not very often.
Dazza: Well, you know what me, Mum and Grandma are like. Maybe that's the problem - you need a little more of that touchy feely stuff.

Rashina: But I'm not that sexy, I don't feel it.
Dazza: Hey, do Rocky a favour and give him all the good loving like Dazza does. Gets rid of all that crap you're building up in your head.
Gets rid of all the sexual frustration too.

Rashina: More sex then?
Dazza: That's it. Do what Dazza does - just not in public.

Rashina: I'll take your advice. I need help and if having kids fixes it - so be it.
Dazza: That's the girl! Now, don't go screwing any of men around here. They have no self control.

Rashina: That game where the game was cancelled. Yeah, bad. Naked Qazox girls too much for the men to handle.
Dazza: All I can say is the men at home are much better behaved.

Rashina: I will take care of my man, like you do.
Dazza: Now, get to bed and think about what Auntie says.

Rashina: I will. (leaves)
Debbie: Hey sis, how is my daughter.

Dazza: Trying make amends for her send-off
Debbie: Emotional girl

Dazza: She's got your Dad's temper I see
Debbie: Oh yes, good thing you have a different Dad then?

Dazza: Not anything I can do about it
Debbie: Well, she needs more control over those emotions. She's rarely gets send off, why always against the Ermines?

Dazza: I don't know but maybe she doesn't like them. She's fine with Wentland and Qazox.
Debbie: Well let's hope she has learnt her lesson. Where'd you get that dress Dazza?

Dazza: Local store.
Debbie: Err, run by men I assume.

Dazza: Yes, funny - women's store full of men shopping for women. They spent a lot of time looking at me - and up my skirt.
Debbie: Now, that's funny. They had changing rooms?

Dazza: Nope
Debbie: Err, how did you get changed them?

Dazza: In an office
Debbie: They watched you?

Dazza: Doesn't bother me, they've seen me nude in Playboy.
Debbie: No wonder they like you around here.

(ooc: ECIAM, The match is going to be counted as a 2-2 draw for the offical standings)

Lake Porter Sun
9th time we've done this. The Cup for 36 years old? Hell, our Editor isn't even that old.

VIOLENCE ERUPTS!

The simmering tension between ECIAM and Qazox has finally reached the boiling point, as just before halftime in a 2-2 game, a riot broke out in the stands and spilled onto the field. 3 players were injured, but the real story is the fact that ECIAM-Qazox if they ever meet again it will be in front of an empty stadium, as decreed by thew Women's World Cup Council. As for the match it will go down as a 2-2 draw, as Qazox' appeal was denied that ECIAM forfeit the match.

The match started off in the 6th minute when I'hin H'Wu scored, setting off the few Lady Oxen fans, who where also in bodypaint to support the team. ECIAM tied it up when Dick scored in the 14th, and the crowd began to get a bit more rowdy. The fans really began to get intense after the 26th minute after Dick scored to give ECIAM a 2-1 lead. But the spark that sent the crowd off came in the 378h minute after Gretchen Bucci scorede to re-tie the match at 2-2. After her goal one of the ECIAM player grabbed her buttocks, and then a fan ran onto the pitch and slugged the ECIAM player. After that the ECAIM police couldn't hold back the fans and the referee had no choice to call the match.

Lost in all the violence is that Qazox has qualifed for the quaterfinals.The next game for Qazox is against Coocoostan, but unless Le Crap somehow beats ECIAM, Qazox will not win the Group. Qazox should win 3-1.


Scoring Summary:
ECAIM- Dick- 14'; 26
Yellow Cards: NONE
QAZOX- I. H'wu(7)- 6'; Bucci (3) 38'
Yellow Cards:None

(ooc: NsWiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Women%27s_World_Cup_9 (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Women%27s_World_Cup_9))

Halfway to a Dream
GREEN WOMBAT HERALD

A 2-0 win over Jeruselem and Green Wombat is not only into the quarterfinals, but has won Group 1 as well. Miyasaka scored both goals leading the Ermines into uncharted territory. The Ermines are now listed as 5-1 favorites to win the Cup.

On sadder news, a riot broke out during the ECIAM-Qazox match. While we've had our problems with Qazox in the past, we fully stand behind Qazox in this matter and the Green Wombat Council of Sport has refused to allow ECIAM from playing in Green wombat.


Miyasaka- (5,6) 40', 75'

Sativaville Stoner

After a 2-2 draw with Jeru FC, Sativaville has all but clinched Group 4 and the quarterfianl berth. The team is 3 point up and has a 5 goal differential lead, which means either a draw by us or a draw by Jeru FC will get us the group or if we lose, Jeru FC needs to win by at least 3 goals depending on if we lose.



Three Stars:
Kim Mathe- 2 goals (5,6)- 23', 63'
Terri Mathe- 19 shots/17 saves
Vicki Mathe- 2 assists

ECiaM Government tells Qazox to Sod Off

A man walked into the ministry of sports with an urgent notice, and handed it to an important looking figure.

The Very Strange Hamlet of Qazox
Received: 12 hours ago I hate to do this, but unless you can scorinate every day for the next week, the hosting duties will be given to someone else.

The important looking figure read the notice and responded. Hah, they are having a laugh. Who do they think they are that they can tell us midway through how to run a tournament? This is not the Qazox Cup, this is the WWC hosted by Every Citizen is a Man. Obviously conditions for the other nations are not as ideal due to military occupation throughout Every Citizen is a Man, but regardless, I doubt any nations want to have to pack up, go somewhere else and start all over again. Lets send them a letter in response.


Dear Government of Qazox. We have received your memorandum as of 12 hours ago, as well as those received 4, 7, 8 and 12 days ago each criticizing our hosting of this fine competition. We appreciate your concerns but do not appreciate the nature of your actions. If you wish to supplant us as the official WWC IX hosts, I suggest you do so at the call and desire of all 12 unique entities participating in the tournament, and not at your own unilateral discretion. If you need to be reminded, this is the WWC not the Qazox Cup, and if you wish to supplant us as hosts you will lose us as competitors and, with the current state of play as is, I doubt much will be done to save a competition which in its previous edition entertained just 6 unique actively participating entities.

We understand that you have only grievances with our nation from long before our time as tournament hosts, and we welcome you to withdraw in protest of whatever reason you which to publicize, but please make your decision on this matter swiftly so the rest of the teams here in Every Citizen is a Man can get on with the competition.

Thank You,

The ECiaM Ministry of Sport

CAFUNDÉU CONTINUES PLAYING WELL

After another win, this time against Yafor 2, the girls of the Cafundéu National Team are excited to be the best team of the tournament, together with Green Wombat, the most surprising team of the last competition. The players are confident that the team can continue with the good campaign, as all the sectors of the team are working well.

The defense is playing well. The goalkeeper Caroline, is intelligent and thanks to that stopped many opponents attacks. The full-backs, Vanessa and Luana, are already considered key players in the team. The first one is the emperor's niece, and the second is the nicer player of the team. The central defenders, Morena, Sarah and even Sabrininha, are blocking the opponents.

The midfield is the best sector of the whole team. The beautiful Letícia controls the more defensive place of the midfield and start some good plays. Alice is the brain of the team, the one responsible for create the chances and find team mates in good positions. Fernanda Garcia is the dribbler, with an incredible ability, who has fun in dribbling the opponent. Favourite of the supporters. And Nanda, the set pieces expert, Souto Maior and the young Nina are other good options.

The attack is playing well, but suffered a bit with the exit of Ana Paula. Ana Laura continues scoring in most games, but neither Luísa or Ana Beatriz could convince playing alongside with the striker. Luísa has some advantage, but Ana Beatriz is entering in nearly all the games. In the bench, Franciele Kalamarad is doing a great job in her first and only competition as a coach.

There's one round left in the group stage, but Cafundéu is already qualified. The players have few time to go out, so they decided to not go to the Every Citizen is a Man streets, as it can be a problem. Twenty-four women walking in a street full of men. The coach talked: "We decided to not create any kind of confusion or embarassment. We'll stay in our hotel, train and play. Only this, and the players aren't complaining."

This is the team for the next game: Caroline, Vanessa, Luana, Morena and Sarah; Letícia, Nina, Alice and Fernanda Garcia; Ana Laura and Luísa.
Coach: Franciele Kalamarad.

Subs: Denise(GK), Juliana Mello(GK), Ribeiro(RB), Keyla(LB), Sabrininha(CB), Rebecca Sanchez(CB), Tati Paçoca(DM), Lílian Matoso(CM), Nanda(AM), Souto Maior(AM), Ana Beatriz(AT) and Maria Lúcia(AT).

Major: Err, yes Bob?
Bob: You have a visitor.

Major: Dazza?
Bob: Rashina actually.

Major: OK, let's see what she's here for.
Rashina: Hi major. I need your help, being a military man and all.

Major: Discipline problems is my guess.
Rashina: Can I train with Jeru FC team for today?

Major: So you want me to shout abuse at you then?
Rashina: Yes, that's it. Treat me like any other Jeru FC player.

Major: OK, sure thing. I'm not like your nice Mum you know.
Rashina: I need the abuse and shouting, I let down my team and need to get some treatment for my problems.

<Hours later>

Major: Well, how are you holding up?
Rashina: That's training! Those girls are tough. Pity about the skill.

Major: Hey, I have an idea.
Rashina: Yeah, go on.

Major: You can join the army without active service. Join the sports reserves in Jeruselem and you can play for Jeru FC next cup - and you can still play for Jeruselem.
Rashina: But when there's a war, I can be called up still?

Major: Yes, but that's normal. What you think?
Rashina: I'll think about it. I'm getting married so I have to ask my man.

Major: The reserves don't take up much time - you might have ask your club still.
Rashina: Thanks for the offer. I hope it can help me with my problem.

Major: Actually, you can help us. Our defense isn't good - if you join us our defense wil be better and well we could be as good as the national team given time.
Rashina: But I'm getting old - for such things. Not many cups left in me.

Major: We need experience on our team. Think about it.

"So what do we do now?"

"I think we need a bit more humiliation for them...let's see if we can get some publicity shots or something."

"How do we get those, Barney?"

"I keep telling you, don't call me that...I'll nick some letterhead from my agency and get them sent here. That'll do nicely."

***

"Sammie!!!! Post's come..."

"Have we got any?"

"Oh yes..."

http://img267.imageshack.us/img267/9905/13lw6.jpg

Zumapress is proud to announce that it has signed up to represent The Pettes, the latest group to hit the airwaves.

Becki, Rosie and Gwennie (l to r) are more familiar as footballers, having steered Petterham to the league title and more recently Wentland to the women's world cup. However they are now applying their football skills to the music industry.


"Wow, that's not bad," said Sammie.

"Are you joking? They look like rebels without a clue. Look at this one..."

http://img254.imageshack.us/img254/935/videoshoothw1.jpg

"Tee hee...someone needs to tell them it's not the sixties anymore...what's Rosie looking at? And what's this glasses thing with Becki? Try to make her look intellectual?"

"Dunno, but at least they're getting out..."

"Not for long...wait for tomorrow's tactic thing..."

This is the final day of qualifying, the results

Group 1: Games at Bloke Military Base
Haraki 1-3 Jeruselem
Quakmybush 2-1 Green Wombat
Group 2: Games at Lord Castle Arena
Coocoostan 1-2 Qazox
Le Crap 0-1 Every Citizen is a Man
Group 3: Games at Wolf Sector Location
Lovisa 2-3 Cafundéu
Starblaydia 5-2 Yafor 2
Group 4: Games at Chap Field
Sativaville 4-1 Toranat
Jeru FC 3-2 Estresse Intenso


And the final table. Top 2 advance, except Group 4, winner advances.


Group 1
1-Green Wombat (4-1-1) 13pts +8
2-Jeruselem (3-1-2) 10pts +3
3-Haraki (1-2-3) 5pts -3
4-Quakmybush (2-0-4) 6pts -8
Group 2
1-Every Citizen is a Man (4-2-0) 14pts +8
2-Qazox (4-1-1) 13pts +9
3-Coocoostan (2-0-4) 6pts -6
4-Le Crap (0-1-5) 1pts -11
Group 3
1-Cafundéu (5-1-0) 16pts +10
2-Starblaydia (4-1-1) 13pts +6
3-Yafor 2 (2-0-4) 6pts -7
4-Lovisa (0-0-6) 0pts -9
Group 4
1-Sativaville (4-2-0) 14pts +9
2-Jeru FC (3-2-1) 11pts +2
3-Estresse Intenso (1-3-2) 6pts -2
4-Toranat (0-1-5) 1pts -9



The Random knockout draw will occur tomorrow.

Lake Porter Sun
9th time we've done this. The Cup for 36 years old? Hell, our Editor isn't even that old.

With a quarterfinal berth, the Lady Oxen rest most of the starters and came away with a 1-0 win over Coocoostan, but ECIAM managed to beat Le Crap 1-0 to win this controversial group.

As the best 2nd place team, Qazox will most likely be matched up with the worst record amongst the Division Winners, which would be Green Wombat, who beat us for 3rd place four years ago. IF our guesses are correct, the Quarterfinals should look like this:

Green Wombat-Qazox
Wentland-Jeruselem
Cafundeu-Starblaydia
ECIAM-Sativaville

All of these matches, if correct would be interesting matchups. Defending champs vs. 3-time champs in a rematch of the last final, the hosts vs. a good young team in Sativaville, Cafundeu and Starblaydia meet for 3rd time, adn as mentioned us vs. GW, a renewal of an old rivalry. Should be an great tourney.

Scoring Summary:
Coocoostan- 43'
Yellow Cards: NONE
QAZOX- Bucci (4,5) 11', 23'
Yellow Cards:None

(ooc: NsWiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Women%27s_World_Cup_9)

"Got it?"

"Yeah, piece of cake..."

"Good, we can have a show around the telly tonight..."

***

Edwina Bluff had decided to show a tactical masterclass on the giant 50" telescreen in the spa. She went through some of the matches in the World Cup that had hitherto been played. She commented on the rough tactics of the hosts and queries over their players' qualifications to participate in the women's world cup and warned the Blue Tits not to react if they were provoked by them. She went through the usual attacking football from some of the usual suspects. There was special attention paid to Cafundeu, previous hosts, who have looked most impressive hitherto.

And as the telly was turned off and Bluff left with assistant Nikki Griffin, Katie Barnfield and Sammie Grady persuaded the team to stay behind for a little show of theirs.

"I dunno if you've noticed, but we have various outstanding players in our midst," started Barnfield. "And many of us have been adopted by various agencies. Sham has her shampoo commercials, of course, and my naturally effervescent and lucid beauty has led to me being picked up for a modelling contract."

"Airfix or play-doh?" yelled Rach Horne to general laughter.

"Very droll. However, some of us evidently have a Higher Calling...Sammie, play the pooter...

"And I've just got one question...who is Judy ( http://www.youtube.com/v/SQX4cupIjew)?"

Three players suddenly found themselves squirming in their seats as the feed ran through the television...

<Dazza sitting Monique watching an episode of CSI Jeruselem. A man approaches them>

Man: Hey you little girls, I'm Manfred Mann the Man - reporter for Man Daily in Jeruselem. I'm looking for Dazza.
Monique: Manfred Man the Man, what sort of stupid name is that?

Man: Hey bimbo, I'm a REAL MAN in the nation of men around here.
Dazza: A real man can keep a girl happy, not just bragging.

Man: You must be Dazza. Well, you are little. I'm here to put your in your place little girl.
Dazza: I maybe little, I maybe like a girl but I'm not stupid.

Monique: Yeah, Dazza's look dumb but she's not.
Man: Ha, girls ganging up on one man. Can't stand up for themselves, huh?

Dazza: Listen Mr Man, I want to watch TV in peace so go away play with your friends or yourself.
Man: I'm not like that, girly. I'm not a pervert like you - can't keep hands off other girls partners, eh?

Dazza: At least, I like attractive men not well steroid filled balloons like yourself.
Monique: Yeah, look big but have little weenie.

Man: Hey, I don't that problem you bitches. I keep women happy anytime, all of them.
Dazza: Well, if there's a magnifying glass around to see it then.

Man: Look at you girlies, sitting around like lounge lizards - dressed like whores. A real man wouldn't touch you at all, dirty women!
Dazza: Speak for yourself, I bet you own pornos with my friend in them here.

Man: Ha, I don't need dirty pictures - women knock on my door as I'm a real MAN.
Monique: Real man stand around shouting at women then?

Man: Yes, to keep bitches like you two in line. You should be at home cooking for a man and doing domestics.
Dazza: I'm earning money here and you think I should be at home. I've got more fans than you - a million times over.

Man: I don't need fans, because I'm me. You're just popular because you take your clothes off bitch.
Monique: At least we look good naked, what about you - weenie man.

Dazza: Yeah, too scared because it's too small?
Man: I have no problems but I have morals. I don't expose myself in public like you do girlies.

Debbie: Oh, it's you again! Manfred the Man, didn't you appear in GayBoy
Man: Err, I'd better go ... (runs off)

Monique: Good one Debbie
Dazza: GayBoy, heh? Let's tell the viewers on JGN!

Debbie: Just make it subtle Dazza.
Dazza: Me, subtle never!

Bag boy: Excuse me? Is it OK if you can sign an autograph?
Debbie: One of your fans Dazza?

Dazza: Sure thing, cutie. (signs)
Monique: Yes, this is a man he's got manners. (signs)

Debbie: Have mine too (signs)
Bag boy: Gee thanks, my girlfriend will be so happy! Oh what's this?

Dazza: A tip! Spend on your girlie.
Bag boy: Gee thanks again.

This is the draw for the first knockout round. Matches that do not have a winner after 90 minutes will play a full 30 minute extra time, then penalties to decide a winner if needed. ECiaM matches will be simulated by someone not affiliated with the cup or NS.


Every Citizen is a Man
v.
Cafundeu

Green Wombat
v.
Jeruselem

Sativaville
v.
Wentland

Qazox
v.
Starblaydia

Tough Loss, but tougher opponent
GREEN WOMBAT HERALD

A surprising 2-1 loss yesterday to Quakmybush left the Ermines with a blemish on their record, and a tougher draw to the Finals, as they will face Jeruselem for the 3rd tie. No team has ever faced Jeruselem 3 times in a tourney, nor has any team ever beaten them 3 times..ever. So the Ermines have to do the impossible and Beat the 3 time champs in the Quarterfinals. On Penalties, the Ermines win 3-2 (5-4 PK).

Goals:
Miyasaka- (7) 23'

Sativaville Stoner
No Luck at all.

A 4-1 win vs. Toranat clinched the Group 4 title and the Quarterfinal berth, but after the draw, we're screwed as we face the defending champions Wentland. But whereas Wentland has not played a match yet, the Lady Stoners have played 6 and were unbeaten. Both teams are anxious to play, and in a massive upset the Lady Stoners reach thier 1st ever semifinal 3-2 over the rusty Blue Tits.


Three Stars:
Kim Mathe- Hat-Trick (7,8,9)- 11', 53', 62'
Vicki Mathe Goal (2)- 35', 2 assists
Terri Mathe-11 shots/10 saves

Lake Porter Sun
9th time we've done this. The Cup for 36 years old? Hell, our Editor isn't even that old.

Starblaydia is our Quarterfinal opponent, and the history of the Lady Oxen and the Cherries is good, with neither side able to consistanly beat the other. If it weren't for our rivalry with Wentland, i'd say this would be our chief rivals. In a close match Qazox wins 3-2.

In the other quarterfinals here's our staff picks:

Green Wombat 4- Jeruselem 2
Sativaville 1- Wentland 3
ECIAM 1- Cafundeu 2 A.E.T.

(ooc: NsWiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Women%27s_World_Cup_9 (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Women%27s_World_Cup_9))

(ooc: forgot they were named the cherries)

Jeruselem Government News

Dazza's YAP UP at the Women's World Cup 9

Well, the finals are here! Err, the random draw for the eight quarter-finals are in. Yes, and we're not happy! I don't about this random crap - but it's was random for most teams except us. We play the Ermines AGAIN. Yes, Green wombat again - the only pairing from the same group. Two losses to them so far and well, they must so happy with result. During the World Cup, due to rules and the large size of the group this does not happen. In fact, this has never happened for the U21 championships and previous women's world cups either. Dazza's not a happy camper.

The other quarterfinals - Wentland who have yet to play one game, got a good result. The puppet team who did really well but had fend off our own puppet team Jeru FC - Sativaville. But I think Sativaville could win this, you know. Having live games helps the team who are used current conditions so Wentland who have not played any game here might have a problem. Wentland should win this but the Qazox puppet should prove a hard opponent.

Qazox take on the Cherries from Starblaydia. While Starblaydia have done, our Lady Oxen rivals should win this one. Given the turmoil recently, the Lady Oxen want to win and get to the final. I think if the Qazox team win this cup, the locals will not be happy at all. I even think the final will be fiasco with riots attempting to stop Qazox winning if they make it.

Last but not least, the local team play the impressive Cafundeu. Yes, the local team have done really well even beating Qazox in well dubious manner - Cafundeu are no pushovers. They are on form and will be hard to beat. I expect Qazox and Cafundeu fans to cheering for Cafundeu in this game.

Now, is Rashina Dallas playing against Green wombat again? Well, seeing she got sent off twice against the same opponent - err yes. She will play but not start at first. I must say, the first send-off was deserved but the 2nd time she was unlucky and not deserved. My sister who is also her Mum (you should know that by now) does not want a repeat. Rashina's not a bad girl but her passion gets her in trouble.

Now, people think the current captain is not doing her job. What are these people on about? Yes we lost to the Ermines NIL TWO because Rashina got sent off but we beat Haraki THREE ONE. Yes Moaner is not the type to shout and carry on, but I that's because Rashina does that. Yes, I'm her friend and she's not exactly someone you'd think will be a leader but she is, so leave her alone.

I'd like to talk about a certain, Manfred Mann the Man. He goes around abusing females who he thinks have a little to much influence. He once kicked Rachel Kool's puppy dog! How's that for being an idiot. He can't kick that puppy now, it's bigger and has big teeth. Fancy him turning up here and doing the same to me and Moaner. Hey, look in GayBoy - the last monthly release. Yeah, he's in there. Maybe he wants to pick up a more manly man! Or he's closet man or woman. So if he hassles you girls, wave the mazagine in his face.

See you all later. I have to send some messages to my man now.

Love Dazza
XXX

The plane finally touched down in ECIAM. It had been a tortuous flight for three girls on board, as they were constantly assailed throughout the journey with ever-more twisted puns about their musical ability and stage appearance.

"How do you think we'll do?"

"Oh, I think they'll go dotty about us."

"SHUT UP!!!"

"Now, now, Rosie...I think you're quavering a little..."

"Yeah, don't be so crotchety..."

"Yeah, we've got a mountain to scale...we have to look sharp..."

In the end the Petterham midfielders hid at the back of the plane and pretended to be asleep. But they had to emerge sometime, to the ECIAM welcome.

Katie Barnfield barged to the front of the plane, desperate to get the first fruits of applause, and emerged in starlike fashion, arms wide, declaring "I love you!!! I love you all!!!!"

She was surprised at the lack of recognition from the assembled crowd. Polite applause met the team as they descended.

Until there was a sudden roar.

Barnfield stopped dead in her tracks. "Oh, they recognize me at last!!!! Hiya, boys!!!!"

"Actually, Katie..." smiled Edwina Bluff, "they've just seen the girls at the back..."

Barnfield turned around to see at the top of the stairs a bemused Rosie Dougall, Gwennie Saunders and Becki Stephens. "What's this about?" asked a puzzled Rosie.

"Beats me," said Nella Horner, who had emerged just before them. "Have you done a thing here?"

"Not as far as I remember..."

It was only on entering customs that the mystery was cleared up. "We in ECIAM are a little, er, lacking in suitable female company...and we have to keep an eye on the opposition...when your performances were blogged by one of your team there was a sudden rush for your album...it's currently number one here..."

"And what about me?" yelled Katie Barnfield. "I'm a top model in Wentland..."

"I'm afraid we have very high standards here..."

Barnfield stormed away to the derision of the Wentland team.

"By the way, boss," asked Tricia Yates, "where's Nikki?"

"I think she's on the next flight, accompanying the fans..."

***

The ECIAM customs were bemused by the next flight from Wentland, with the Blue Tit supporters on board. "Well, Montagu...I didn't think there were many Orthodox in Wentland...and why would they watch women's football?"

"Maybe there's just a fashion for big beards...and very baggy clothes..."

Every Citizen is a Man 3 - 1 Cafundeu

Green Wombat 2 - 2 Jeruselem
Green Wombat 2 - 3 Jeruselem AET

Sativaville 2 - 2 Wentland
Sativaville 3 - 3 Wentland AET
Sativaville 2 - 4 Wentland APK

Qazox 3 - 1 Starblaydia




The Draw for the Semi-Finals


Every Citizen is a Man v. Wentland

Qazox v. Jeruselem

The team was almost ready to go out and Edwina Bluff was giving her final pep-talk. "Sativaville won their group with ease," she said. "They have some experience in the latter stages and will have nothing to fear. They will not be easy, but with a litt..."

*beep beep*

"Hang on, boss..." said Katie Barnfield. "Be there in a sec...yeah, yeah...OK...oh, OK...cheers, ta."

The centre-forward, who had been picked to start to keep Kaz Flack preserved for later in the game, rooted in her bag as the manager fumed.

"When we're QUITE read...Katie, what on earth are you doing?"

"Putting this bandanna on. Why?"

"What are you wearing a bandanna for?"

"That was my agent. It's raining outside and he says I should keep my hair clean for the image. Don't worry, it's in stylish royal..."

"Don't be so daft, Katie...look, Thalia's got a similar deal and she isn't...Thalia?"

The other centre-forward looked sheepish as she sat on a bench wearing a royal blue bandanna.

"Sorry, boss...it was an idea of Venus Shampoo..."

"Well you're footballers, you can take them off and enjoy the bloody rain...the buzzer's gone...go, go, go!!!"

***

As the team warmed up after the anthems the tannoy announcer read out the starting line-ups, starting with the World Champions. A sector of the ground wearing suspiciously bushy-looking beards gave a high-pitched scream of delight as every name was mentioned. This caused suspicion for the announcer.

"There aren't any women here, are there?"

He got a high-pitched denial. "No, no, no." Which deepened as it went on.

***

"Easy! Easy! Easy!" The bearded army was exultant as Wentland went 2-0 up in the first ten minutes, Katie Barnfield justifying her choice as she nailed a brace. Then Wentland started to take the mickey. Between the 14th and 19th minutes not a single Lady Stoner touched the ball as Wentland just passed it between themselves and the Sativaville players became more and more angry. "Now you see it, whoops, now you don't..." commented Rach Horne as she nutmegged the young Kim Mathe. "Why do you even bother?" needled Meld Davies as she beat Decena repeatedly.

At half-time Edwina Bluff was scathing. "That's not football, that's just disrespect...you'll be caught. Get a third goal and shut up shop."

"Relax, boss...they're for the taking."

The second half was more of the same but Wentland could not get past Terri Mathe in goal and from the 70th minute just decided to shut up shop regardless. It was degenerating into boredom until in the 78th Sammie Grady tried a particularly neat trick, stood on the ball, turned her ankle and watched helplessly as it was suddenly three on two with Childress-Turner drawing Rhodes and flicking the ball to her right as Vicki Mathe was unmarked. Even then Anne Foy managed to save the rasping shot but Kim Mathe had followed up as Rach Horne appealed for offside and it was 2-1.

"That'll learn 'em," smiled an otherwise grim Edwina Bluff. "Let's see what they're gonna do now."

Wentland poured forward, as if they were searching for an equalizer, to punish Sativaville for their temerity in scoring. But in doing so they forgot to defend and when Terri Mathe caught a corner she unleashed a long clearance that Childress-Turner caught onto and outpacing the tired Rhodes used her speed to round Foy and equalize.

Suddenly Wentland were in trouble and the final whistle came as something of a relief.

***

Grady could not continue in extra-time. With an eye to penalties Bluff replaced her with Az Jackson and told Wentland that they would have to play it out themselves. And within three minutes of the start of extra time it was indeed 3-2 to the Blue Tits as Cadman picked the top corner out from 25 yards.

But yet again the Blue Tits did not capitalize and just taunted their opponents. Until the game turned with 10 minutes to go as Andrea Childress-Turner made a triple substitution and refreshed the Lady Stoners. They took over the game as Wentland seemed surprisingly out of shape. And with four to go it was 3-3 as Mandino got on the end of a cross-shot from Hollenbaugh.

Fortunately for the Blue Tits the level of effort needed to come back to equalize tired the Stoners and it was Wentland that nearly won it late on, Barnfield coming inches away from getting her hat-trick as her header struck the underside of the bar and came out. "It was in!!! IN!!!!" she yelled despairingly at the referee and after a minute's long protest was rightly booked. And it was not in.

***

"We'll get 'em now...I bet Sativa's never had pennos before..."

"They have nothing to fear, Lucinda. I can't believe you let them get this close..."

However, the pressure did get to Sativaville. First penalty was from Mandino and she muffed it, Anne Foy saving easily. Rach Horne showed her how it was done, right-footed high to the right and just under the bar.

The second from Hollenbaugh was struck hard and true and Foy went the wrong way. Imelda Davies came up for Wentland's second and nearly burst the net as Mathe did her best to get out of the way.

The third was from Henig and went down the middle, but Foy had gambled to her left - and lost. Rosie Dougall third, and the most famous penalty in world football went through the mind of Terri Mathe. She wouldn't dink it again...would she?

Mathe decided to stay upright in case - and Dougall put it an inch inside the right hand post. 3-2.

The fourth penalty was to be taken by Vicki Mathe...and that'll come down somewhere in Qazox. And now Wentland had the chance to win it.

Az Jackson, brought on as if for this moment, morosely ambled up to the spot and with chilling calm stood over the ball. The whistle blew, she took no run-up at all and almost casually flicked it with her left boot to her right. An unready Mathe could not move and Wentland were in the semis.

Just.

<Dazza Dallas dancing with the cameraman>

Dazza
"Hello, hello. I'm Dazza Dallas at the Women's World Cup 9 in man land! What a great day today is. Oh yeah!"

<puts her shoes back on>

"Sorry, you know Dazza. I get a bit excited. FOUR quarterfinals today! Firstly the Lady Oxen disposed the Cherries from Starblaydia THREE ONE. A result we all expected as the Cherries underachieve once again and the Lady Oxen prove they are good team who just keep on winning when they need to. The result was never in doubt, as well Qazox don't win two cups by playing like rubbish - they know how to be champions. They are one of the teams to beat indeed and once again the Cherries fail to challenge the best four teams." (smiles)

"Cafundeu played the local man team - and I bet Qazox supporters were there too. The locals did not disappoint their male fans, which were something like 99.999% of the entire stadium. ECIAM did beat Cafundeu THREE ONE and dominated as the poor old Cafundeu team did not handle the atmosphere at all. It was hostile to the Cafundeu team really as the locals had all the support and Cafundeu did not. Well done to Cafundeu but the local team make semi-final along with bitter rival Qazox. That's the boring finals out of the way." (slight sigh)

"Green Wombat played Jeruselem for the third time, and well you'd think the Ermines would be happy to take on the three times champion? The Ermines had won twice but this time - we won. Oh yes, we are a team who like finals. We don't choke like the Cherries! In a game where both teams threw just about everything into the game, no one seems to get any advantage. Both teams scored in the first half with Sister Moki scoring the goal for Jeruselem after charging into the goal square like mad nun she is. It was 2 ALL after 90 minutes when my name-sake Dazza Folkstia scored a late equalizer after the Ermines had scored the third goal of the game. Then Rashina Dallas came back on for the extra time period. Silly move? My sister is a genius, guess who scored the winning goal? Rashina proved the difference as she made good her promise to make amends to everyone scoring the goal that mattered. Oh yes, Rashina looks like she is back on track and back on the good books. All is forgiven!" (big smile)

"Wentland had fright of their life. They have the "easy" Sativaville to beat and well, it took a lot of effort! Sativaville put in a huge fight drawing the current champs 2 ALL at full time. 30 minutes later, it was 3 ALL with the champs still unable to shake off the Lady Stoners! Wentland won the shoot-out FOUR TWO to finally beat a gallant team who proved puppets can be good. The Lady Stoners did well but the Blue Tits go on the semi-finals in one game." (winks)

"Who meet in the semis? The man team take on the current world champs!Yes, it's Wentland vs ECIAM. Blue Tits vs some men. A big game where the champs have to play a male team who have beaten the Lady Oxen. It will be game where the locals can knock out the current champs or Wentland march on another final. The other semi - Jeruselem vs Qazox. The sexiest semi-final you can get. It's not Dazza vs Stephany anymore, we are both retired! It's the Angels lead by Jeruselem's number 1 porn star Monique Alexander against a team who have played naked twice. Yes, if you want chicks - watch this game. Oh there's me on the sidelines too!"

"Think about the final we could have! ECIAM vs Jeruselem, or ECIAM vs Qazox which would be a rather nasty sort of game as both teams don't like each other. Wentland vs Jeruselem - repeat of last final or Wentland vs Qazoz - an old rivalry. I want a Jeruselem vs wentland game personally. Don't miss the semis - as the best teams are here. The Locals vs champs and the old Jeruselem vs Lady Oxen battle again."

"OK, there seem to be few thieves around here. I've lost two sets of overwear from my washing! I put in the washing, they are gone when I picked them up. I know it's not my team - they don't need steal my stuff but I think it's local perverts. Can't they just be content watching my Qazox vodka ad? Don't need to steal my stuff!"

<Quarterfinal results>

Every Citizen is a Man 3 - 1 Cafundeu

Green Wombat 2 - 2 Jeruselem
Green Wombat 2 - 3 Jeruselem AET

Sativaville 2 - 2 Wentland
Sativaville 3 - 3 Wentland AET
Sativaville 2 - 4 Wentland APK

<The Draw for the Semi-Finals>

Every Citizen is a Man v. Wentland
Qazox v. Jeruselem

Lake Porter Sun
9th time we've done this. The Cup for 36 years old? Hell, our Editor isn't even that old.


The Cherries gave us a good run, but our side was to strong and it's now on to the semis where we'll meet another familar foe. Gretchen Bucci scored in the 20th and 36th to give the Lady Oxen a 2-0 lead, but the Cherries managed to score just before half to make it 2-1. But Ithi H'wu scored int he 72nd to finish off Starblaydia.

As for our next opponent? Its Jeruselem. Yes the Angels, though this time Dazza's gone, so maybe we can beat them. In the other semifinal is ECIAM vs. Wentland and you know who we are rooting for.

SEMIFINAL PREDICTIONS:

QAZOX 3- Jeruselem 2
ECIAM 1- Wentland 3


Scoring Summary:
Starblaydia- 43'
Yellow Cards: NONE
QAZOX- Bucci (6,7) 20', 36'; I. H'wu (8) 72'
Yellow Cards:None

(ooc: NsWiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Women%27s_World_Cup_9)

There were two surprises for the Bearded Army before kick-off. First there was the Wentland team. Wholesale changes saw Matsushita, Beavan, Flack, Yates, Jackson and Cassidy all starting. It was not so surprising that there were some changes biut half the team? Bluff was taking a risk.

The second came when Imelda Davies, made captain in place of the dropped Rhodes, stayed in the centre circle after the toss up. She was clearly agitated by something and whilst the officials conferred she huddled with her team-mates - who proceeded to leave the pitch.

The Blue Tits remained by the side of the pitch as the officials conferred with the ECIAM officials and Edwina Bluff. The crowd grew anxious, then angry, and started theoring plastic cups at the Blue Tits.

Eventually, after much gesticulation and shoulder shrugging of the officials, the Wentland team went sullenly back to the pitch and Flack and Barnfield prepared to take the kick-off.

The Bearded Army was bemused. What was going on?

LOSS IN THE QUARTERFINALS

The golden girls lost the Quarterfinal game against Every Citizen is a Man. The players said that they've never played against men in a professional game before, and that they didn't know what to expect. "If you see our World Cup National Team, they're all men. In our country the football is divided in many categories", says Fernanda Garcia.

Because of that, they couldn't adapt to a different style of game, having to use a different strategy. As the coach was inexperienced, the team couldn't create a new style to play against ECIAM. "No problem. There will be other cups for us", says Ana Laura.

*** Ad on Jeruselem Government News ***

Dazza Dallas and Monique Alexander in bikinis by a pool.

Dazza
"Hey, don't miss the Women's World Cup semi-finals tomorrow! My friend here Monique will attempt to lead the Angels to a fourth cup but we must beat the Lady Oxen first. The local men take on the world champs from Wentland in the other game. Don't miss it!"

Monique
"Well, between the 4 semi-finalists. Three have cups - a total of six. Only the hosts don't have one yet. So - will it be my Angels with three cups going on four, or the Lady Oxen take a third to match Jeruselem. Or can Wentland make it back to back like Jeruselem did once. Or can the local men win the Women's World Cup. We'll see!"

Dazza
"So don't miss it. Cheer on our girls!"

Shock! Horror as Champs are De-throned


Every Citizen is a Man 1 - 0 Wentland

Qazox 3 - 2 Jeruselem

The Draw for the Final

Qazox v. Every Citizen is a Man

The Draw for the Consolation Match

Wentland v. Jeruselem


I'd like to apologize to Wentland, I think if this game is simulated 30 times the result goes into Wentlands favor at least 25 of them, as for this I do not wish to be remembered as the bitch who screwed everyone out of the WWC, there is not a chance in heck I will be posting the final score (even though I have not simmed the past two rounds personally, there has been no transparency in the presentation, therefore I have sent a PM to Starblaydia, who has been eliminated from the competition already, asking if they will score the final match and post the result in this thread. I will be posting the score for the consolation game, good luck to all.

Dazza Dallas with a tear in her eye

"Hello hello, this is Dazza Dallas at the Women's World Cup 9. We have a nightmare final! Guess what it is? You should all know by now. Firstly, the Lady Oxen downed the Angels THREE TWO. The Jeruselem team were not disgraced but on the day Monique's girls even with a well behaved Rashina Dallas could not beat the fantastic team from Qazox. Well, at least we made the semis and look forward to winning 3rd spot. I'm not going say anymore, but the Jeruselem team cheering on our conquerors. Go TEAM QAZOX."

"In the other semi-final the local mens team stunned the current champs Wentland. Wentland team members were stunned and shocked as the hosts and only men in this cup beat the reigning world champs. The stadium was awash with men cheering and the few Blue Tit supporters with their hands in their heads. What a shock. Once again Wentland fall short, but in this case - very rough. They were not playing a Jeruselem or Qazox or Rorysville, it was a team of men in a stadium full of men in a nation full of men."

"So the Lady Oxen take on the hosts in the biggest grudge match ever. The Women's World Cup 9 final between Qazox and ECIAM. If both teams start fighting and then fans flood the field, I will not be surprised at all. This will not be pretty game with both teams not on the best terms at all. I'm going to wear a Stephany Heisel Qazox jersey for the final, to register my support for the Lady Oxen. They may have beaten us but they are still our friends. All I can say is - BRING ON THE BODY PAINT."

"So Jeruselem take on Wentland in repeat of the last final. We are not going to treat it lightly, Jeruselem will make sure Wentland work hard to get 3rd spot as we don't like losing. I'm going to be at the final where two teams clashes with potential for well problems."

"Some people have been comparing me to the Kate Barnes of Wentland. Oh come on, don't be silly. Kate Barnes is great footballer, good looking model and a fantastic person but I'm Dazza Dallas. I do things Kate does not - like well expose myself in public. She's a different far more innocent person while I'm a one-off attention whore. Kate is Kate and Dazza is Dazza. Don't mix us up - but we both can party except I do really stupid things when I'm drunk and I hate slimey stuff which Wentland footballers seem to like. I don't think Kate does nude ads for vodka in Qazox - but I will. The closest person to me is probably my friend Monique Alexander, who happens to be Jeruselem captain. So people, I'm Dazza and well everyone else is everyone else. Speaking of ads, that ad is coming up next."

"As the owner of Razza Dazza stores, I'm going be really nice for the Women's World Cup IX final. If you turn up in any of my stores wearing gear supporting any of the semi-finalists, you get 25% off the list price for the day. Only for the final and consolidation final days. Yes, turn up in Jeruselem, Wentland, Qazox or even ECIAM colours. I have no stores in ECIAM if people are wondering. So, that's it from me. Sweet dreams!"

Lake Porter Sun
9th time we've done this. The Cup for 36 years old? Hell, our Editor isn't even that old.

BRING IT ON


Another Jeruselem-Qazox match, and another Classic as each side fought hard to get into the final, but Rashina Dallas, Dazza's niece, cost her side the match, when in the 87th minute, a profanity-laced tirade after being, wrongfully called for a hand-ball, caused her to get a yellow card. On the enusing set play, O'thi H'wu managed to head home the winner, sending the Black Oxen to their 1st final in 12 years.

The match started with Rashina Dallas scoring on a penalty kick in the 14th minute, after being taken down hard during a corner by Julianne Haverly. But Qazox held firm and in the 32nd minute, Gretchen Bucci tied it up at 1-1. But Dazza, no not Dallas, but Folkstia gave the Angels a 2-1 lead just 6 minutes later. I'hin H'wu somehow knocked home a shot from 40 YARDS out just before half to even it at 2-2.


In the other semifinal, Defending Champs Wentland were stunned 1-0 by...ECIAM. That's right a MEN'S TEAM advanced to the finals of the WOMEN'S WORLD CUP. Jeruselem has already thrown its support behind us, and I expect Wentland will as well. The last time, a riot broke out, so who knows what will happen this time around. Stephany Heisel, who is back off her suspension, has not confirmed the rumors that the team will once again wear body paint for the match.

I hope that to what ever you worship whose reading this, that Qazox wins and shuts those MEN up once and for all. QAZOX 4- ECIAM 2.

Scoring Summary:
Jeruselem- Rashina Dallas (pk) 14'; Dazza Folkstia 38'
Yellow Cards: Rashina Dallas- 87th
QAZOX- Bucci (8) 32'; I. H'wu (9) 45'; O. H'wu (7) 88'
Yellow Cards: Julianne Haverly 13'; Lorrie Daley- 56'

(ooc: NsWiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Women%27s_World_Cup_9)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v465/mriggs17/CoocoostanskySport.jpg

Ibix Football sides learn through defeat,
Niles Jacob-Premiership Writer

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40092000/jpg/_40092773_russia270.jpg
http://www.uefa.com/MultimediaFiles/Photo/competitions/WUnder19/319798_MEDIUMSQUARE.jpg

With only two matches to go in a Men's World Cup Qualification that will ultimately prove unsuccessful, and the Women's World Cup campaign over, the nation has arrived at the point where we can look back and actually evaluate out performance. In a nutshell: not good. But still, it wasn't all bad, our men's side did pull out some impressive wins and even some unlikely draws(points is points) and the women were in it until the final day of group play, but it left a lot to be desired.

They say chivalry is dead, so the men go first. I think that Viktor Ragudin's side illustrates a key cliche in sports, that there is a marked difference between an all-star team and a national side, with Ragudin picking the latter, needless to say, he won't be picking again. Frankie Obispo, who has one goal, struck me as a sore thumb. He isn't much of a teammate, or a playmaker and he talks a big game more than anything else. Still, a few other tweaks would've been useful. Also, the style of play was too passive, either more offence or more defence for a focus, but a style of play so evenly balanced only led them into a state of complacency. Then there was the inconsistency....and the fact that this is our first time. Plus the fact that our group sucked(I think they all suck, to be fair). Still when(though some say it's if), we try this again, we should probably try and do it right. Maybe some foreign study is necessary? How about our Kelssekian neighbours? Communist diversion or otherwise, they did manage to do not too bad.

Then there was the Women's side, which, other than basketball(The men play trashketball, yes, I'm damn clever), is the only Women's game I enjoy watching as much. They play as a team. They're pretty humble. They win the easy games and make the others close. They had to play a team of men(Good call to the Organizers on that one,twits) but Anna Khodorovskaia is now a household name. Well done.

Still, there are more national competitions coming in the near future and with the Ylompics postponed, we can only hope to see the football sides back in action.

One more thing.......C'ARN THE OXEN!

I'm cheering against the men more than anything else, but still, I hope they get crushed.

Men Strip for Final
In a shock move, The Every Citizen is a Man Football team has announced that they will be competing in the nude during the final of the Women's World Cup against Qazox. In the previous two meetings between the heavy rivals, the Qazoxian women have played naked with body paint on to the disgust of the all-male nation which is hosting the tournament. With speculation widespread that they would take the same course for the final of this event, Every Citizen is a Man has stolen their thunder with this shocking announcement that threatens to confuse little girls all around the world. Worse yet, The citizen's do not appear to have any intentions of painting their bodies for the match like the Qazoxian women have, this indication coming after an interview with Citizen's star Dick.



Yea, I think we're all going to go out there naked. It's not going to be a thing of beauty like when those women from Qazox did it and they were all smooth and what not. We don't use razors here in Every Citizen is a Man, hell, I don't even think The Manly Man has seen the skin on his chest since he was 9 years old. Maybe we'll get him to trim just a bit in the shape of his squad number, that will be pretty funny. I think those Women are going to want to leave their kits on for this match. Especially guarding him, it would be like having a dog jump on you after it just ran around in the hot sun for five hours, wet, stinky and lots of hair left behind.

Plus, we'll get a nice cool breeze to keep us in the game. It should be fun, and we're all looking forward to it.


The Men will be playing in their first ever competitive final after overcoming defending tournament champions Wentland 1-0 in the semi final leg. Opponents Qazox also had a hard fought victory, 3-2 over Jeruselem. The Citizens will be hoping to add the dank factor to their home field advantage and their lack of feminine vanity to overcome the skill of their Qazoxian foes and lift the trophy for the first time.

I'd like to apologize to Wentland, I think if this game is simulated 30 times the result goes into Wentlands favor at least 25 of them, as for this I do not wish to be remembered as the bitch who screwed everyone out of the WWC, there is not a chance in heck I will be posting the final score (even though I have not simmed the past two rounds personally, there has been no transparency in the presentation, therefore I have sent a PM to Starblaydia, who has been eliminated from the competition already, asking if they will score the final match and post the result in this thread. I will be posting the score for the consolation game, good luck to all.

ooc: don't take this seriously, I'm using this as a springboard for WCX - although you can scorinate any consi match you like, I'll run with it


Edwina Bluff was visibly shaking as she entered the press conference. Her face was like thunder and if looks could kill she would be doing thirty years. The media was intimidated and assembled press hacks seemed reluctant to ask her any questions. Eventually one journalist asked her what the talk was at the start of the match.

“Before kick-off, we noticed that the ECIAM team seemed to have a preponderance of testosterone in their team. When Imelda Davies went to shake hands, she confirmed that she was not shaking hands with a woman.

“She came to the side to ask whether we could make any complaint or protest. The officials stated that it was a matter for the NS organization.

“We considered this unsatisfactory and threatened to walk out. It was only under the most extreme threat of sanction that we were induced to play.

“I told the team that they were good enough to beat a men’s team and we would raise the protest later.

“And of course we were good enough to beat a men’s team. We are not however good enough to beat the referee and officials, who, in my considered and reasonable view, were corrupt.”

A frisson went through the conference. This was serious stuff.

“How do you mean corrupt?”

“You all saw the match. You saw the three disallowed goals. You saw the fact that we had one corner all match despite doing all the pressing. You saw the incident where Big Shit punched the ball off the line but nothing was given. You saw the sending-off of Trish Yates for taking a foul throw. You saw the offside nature of their goal. You saw the final whistle blown after 83 minutes. You saw the game being held up whilst our supporters were all ejected after 11 minutes for appealing for a penalty.

“This was bent. How else do you think ECIAM have reached the final? They beat Qazox, they had one match called off…this is a concerted plot from opponents of women’s football to force us into the man’s game. They want to drive the WWC into oblivion.

“It is all about control. There are jealous factors at work. You could see that we could play that game another 25 times with neutral officials and win every time. How come we lose, here, in ECIAM, before an ECIAM crowd, with none of our supporters present?”

The media was noting it all down eagerly. There had been suspicions about the tournament, but this was the most strident criticism.

“How are you going to treat the third place match?”

“We’re not. We’re going home. The Pettes are number one, so they’re going to do a concert for everyone back in Wentland. Let the committee take action, we shall take them to court if necessary.”

“Are you going to protest the semi-final?”

“Dunno, I'm considering that right now.”

Jeruselem Government News

Rashina Dallas to join the army and Dazza - THE COACH?

Rashina Dallas has officially sent an application to join the Jeruselem army. This means she is playing for Jeru FC next Women's World Cup. She said she made the decision after causing the Jeruselem women's team to lose against Qazox in the semi-final after causing the team to lose against Green Wombat twice. She said she did it for the good of the next Jeruselem team and to help the Jeru FC team.

Her mother (the Jeruselem coach) and auntie (Dazza Dallas) said they weren't surprised and supported any move to curb her temper. The Jeru FC coach said he welcomed the move by Rashina Dallas. He also said she's make a good captain but like Debbie Dallas would sack her as captain should she be sent off again.

Her future with the Jeruselem main team is in doubt and many want her sacked from the Jeruselem World Cup 34 team. Jeruselem selectors are thinking about the move after being sent off three times in one tournament.

Just when you thought it was safe - we have another Dallas on the football scene. Debbie Dallas's 3rd daughter Kate - not to be mixed up with Kate Dallas, Dazza's 1st daughter, looks set to play for Women's team. Kate is much like her mother, a tall strong girl with a calm complexion unlike the fiery Rashina. An inside said the other Kate Dallas, Dazza's Kate, is going to be much like her Mum too. Don't worry yet's Dazza's Kate is only a young child.

In other breaking news, Debbie Dallas is retiring from coaching after two World cups and two Women's World Cups. Current management have put in the idea to make her sister Dazza Dallas the new coach due to her vast experience in the men's and women's game. So Dazza Dallas, the coach - now that will be interesting! World Cup 32 captain Kate Bush was another candidate, but she's a trainer at Debbie's - owned by the Dallas girls. She plans not to any coaching at the moment. Anna Goldstein was considered but she has decided to become a full time Mum.

Lake Porter Sun
9th time we've done this. The Cup for 36 years old? Hell, our Editor isn't even that old.

WHAT'S THE HOLD-UP??

3 days after the thrilling semifinals, the teams that made the final, ECIAM and Qazox are still waiting for prepreations to be finished so that a repeat of the violence that marred that last match between this two sides does not happen. But Head Coach Stephany Heisel believes that a more sinister force is at work, that being the ECIAM groundskeepers working to make sure every bounce goes their way, that or a ransom plot by holding the Lady Oxen hostage until the Women's World Cup Council gives ECIAM the title. The QFC, and this paper do not believe the outlandish consipracy theories posited by Heisel.

Women's world Cup 9 Final Result:

Every Citizen is a Man 2-3 Qazox

Lake Porter Sun
9th time we've done this. The Cup for 36 years old? Hell, our Editor isn't even that old.

WOMEN RULE...MEN DROOL


For the third time in this Cup, ECIAM and Qazox met, and finally there was no controversy, as the Lady Oxen held on to win a very surprisingly clean match 3-2 to earn their 3rd title. After 72 hours of preparing for the worst, surprisingly enough, there were no reports of fans fighting, and there was only 7 fouls called all match.

Gretchen Bucci got Qazox on the board 1st in the 13th minute after a shot by O'thi H'wu was not cleared out by the ECIAM defense. But Dick, ECIAM's star centre, answered back just 2 minutes later when the sight of his...bait and tackle swaying in the wind, caused much of the Qazoxian defense to lose thier lunch. The rest of the 1st half saw each side have plenty of oppertunites, but neither side could take advantage.

The second half started with a bang as O'thi H'wu scored just 27 seconds into the half, after a member of ECIAM's defense slipped and left her wide open for a shot from 45 yards out, that somehow managed to go in. But Dick once again provided the equalizer in the 53rd to re-tie it at 2-2.

I'hin H'wu, who lead all scorers with 10 goals, scored in the 72nd to make it a 3-2 lead. But ECIAM's offensive offense was stymied by the good play of Carmella Bucklew, and the defense. As time wound down, ECIAM even moved their keeper up as an attacker, but to no avail, as time ran out and Qazox won their 1st title in 12 years.



Scoring Summary:
ECIAM- Dick- 15', 53'
Yellow Cards: None
QAZOX- Bucci (9) 13'; O. H'wu (8) 46'; I. H'wu (10) 72'
Yellow Cards: None

(ooc: NsWiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Women%27s_World_Cup_9)

"Hi, this is Dazza Dallas at the final of Women's World Cup 9. I've been given special access to the Qazox team who did the women of the cup proud and defeated the local male team today. Both teams were well behaved and this time no crowd trouble unlike last time. Well, it is a Women's world cup and women did win it - just. Qazox beat ECIAM THREE TWO. The Lady Oxen were not put off by naked men and well I think it helped Qazox. Naked men have be careful when they play or else a tackle by an opponent on the wrong place and well, the man can't have kids. Thank God everyone didn't try to kill each other. Here is the Qazox coach, my friend Stephany Heisel now! Let's get her views on this game! ..."