NationStates Jolt Archive

(ooc: Never let it be said that Qazox isn't ready to jump unto a soon to be dead horse...)

Q-Dish Network has been granted permission to broadcast internationally.

The QDN has channels that you have never seen before.. and probably wish that you hadn't:

Here is just a sample of the Channels the QDN has to offer:

Channel 803: PDC (The Paint Drying Channel) A channel dedicated to those of us who actually like to watch paint dry. Featuring the classic Paint Drying on a Wall, Paint Drying on a Fence, Paint Drying on a Park Bench, And new for this season: Paint Drying on a Paintbrush!

Channel 420: MJ-TV (Marijuana Television) Featuring shows about Doritos, Taco Bell, How roll a joint, How to pass a drug test and many other Pot-related shows. On Saturday watch classic Pot Movies such as Fast Times at Ridgemont High or Half-Baked

Channel 666: SATaN (Satanist Atheist Television Network)- Ever wondered just how to get that virgin's blood out of your clothes? Or ever wondered which kind of sacrifice really pleases the Dark Lord? Well on SATaN, there are many shows that delve into all the ritualistic killing questions that you may have. Also on every Halloween, the 24-hour Live Virgin Sacrifice is shown uncut and unedited.

Channel 0: STUPID (Silly Things, Ugly Peons and International Dumbasses) Ever wondered just how stupid some people are? Well then STUPID is for you! Ever see a man try to use a power drill to do dentistry? We got that. Ever see a person try to light a firecracker in his anus? We got that. So get STUPID and feel better that you aren't as dumb as these mouth-breeders.

Channel 69: HCTV (Hardcore Television) PORN 24/7 enough said.

These and 798 more channels are availible only on Q-DISH Network.

Disclaimer: Q-DISH Network costs $500.00 a day, or $17,000 a month or $230,000 a year. Contract for Q-DISH Network is a standard 25-year contract with a $5,000,000 cancellation fee. Cancel for free at anytime between 12:01am and 11:59pm on February 30th. Offer not valid in The Archregimancy. If bleeding from the eyes occurs, go to a doctor dumbass. Contents may have shifted due to crosswinds. If anal leakage occurs, stop using product until leakage stops.

"Hey Mom," young Jimmy yelled, not bothering to turn away from the holoscreen.

"Yes, dear," his mother called from the kitchen, slaving away as usual.

"We should get this new type of tv," Jimmy said. His mother rolled her eyes.

"No, hunny," she said.

"But Mom!" Jimmy protested, prompting his mother to step out of the kitchen, spoon still in hand.

"Our provider is already better, James," his mother told him, figuring telling the boy that it was also cheaper wouldn't make a difference.

"It's not fair," Jimmy said, pouting as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"I'm sure you'll live," his mother replied, walking back into the kitchen. Her husband was coming home soon. Perhaps he'd have the energy to deal with their son.

wtf: BUMP for shites and giggles.

Q-Dish Network has been granted permission to broadcast internationally.

Now with these new Channels!

Channel 888 (QSPNOcho) (english translation): All sports all the time, En Espanol! Featuring: Football, More Football, Futsal, Bullfights and of course the Running of the Bulls Live from Pamplona, Spain every year!

Channel 1000 (AAN) All Archeology Network: Live feeds from archeological sites from around the world! See archeologists brush off bones, bone fragments, old wine jugs, jug fragments and more. Disclaimer: May be used as a sleeping aid except in Vermont, Quebec, and parts of Australia, and where prohibited by law.

Channel 98 TBSC: The Ben Stein Channel: Hear Ben Stein talk.. 24/7 non-stop. Every Thursday at 7:00 pm, Ferris Buller's Day Off.

Channel 1: CHAW (C Hillbillies At Work) Watch hillbillies make moonshine, shoot at opossums (or possums if you will), fix cars, and other hillbilly activities! Parental Warning: May contain nudity, rednecks, the Confederate Flag, Trucks and incest

Channel 756: BBN (Barry Bonds Network) Contains a continous loop of every home-run Barry Bonds has ever hit. Doctors warning: May contain illegal substances, and cause the following: roid-rage, backne and your head to swell 5 sizes. (ooc: I hope to hell he dies soon)

Channel 21: HGN (Home Gambling Network) Ever wanted to play Texas Hold'Em from your couch? Well now you can with this new interactive channel. Just punch in your credit card number when prompted, and instantly, you are on a Poker table, betting your real hard earned Cash. Disclaimer: This channel will sell your credit card info to the highest bidder, or to terrorists

These six channels, plus the five already mentioned above and 792 more channels are availible only on Q-DISH Network.


Disclaimer: Q-DISH Network costs $500.00 a day, or $17,000 a month or $230,000 a year. Contract for Q-DISH Network is a standard 25-year contract with a $5,000,000 cancellation fee. Cancel for free at anytime between 12:01am and 11:59pm on February 30th. Offer not valid in The Archregimancy. If bleeding from the eyes occurs, go to a doctor dumbass. Contents may have shifted due to crosswinds. If anal leakage occurs, stop using product until leakage stops.

Somewhere in a Jeruselem college

James: Cool, we should get Q-Dish!
Bob: Look we don't have the money!
James: It's a lot better than what we get now.
Bob: We can barely cover basic living expenses at the moment.

James: But it covers everything, it's educational.
Bob: You don't watch educational channels.
James: Yes I do, all the time.
Bob: DazMania is not an educational program, you only watch that because Dazza's on. Football programs don't count either.

James: I don't suppose we count get our parents to help out paying.
Bob: Our parents don't have money.
James: You're just making excuses
Bob: Then get a job first

OOC: Can I join????

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

IC:
To: Q-Dish Network

Greetings! We are Co. Medio Speziale (CMS), a media company specializing in creating channels that cater to special audiences. We are already selling several channels to cable providers in the United Kingdom of Brutland and Norden. But as no Nord-Brutlandese cable outlet/media company are expanding overseas, and it is in CMS interests to reach wider audiences, we would like to ask Q-Dish Network if they can carry some of our channels. Should we get a favorable response, we would show you what we have here at CMS.

Thank you very much.

Rebecca Rossetti
President, Companne Medio Speziale

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
OOC: Basically, I'd like to add to your programming. :)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

IC:
To: Q-Dish Network

Greetings! We are Co. Medio Speziale (CMS), a media company specializing in creating channels that cater to special audiences. We are already selling several channels to cable providers in the United Kingdom of Brutland and Norden. But as no Nord-Brutlandese cable outlet/media company are expanding overseas, and it is in CMS interests to reach wider audiences, we would like to ask Q-Dish Network if they can carry some of our channels. Should we get a favorable response, we would show you what we have here at CMS.

Thank you very much.

Rebecca Rossetti
President, Companne Medio Speziale

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


Q-Dish Network has announced a new partnership with CMS, Companne Medio Speziale of Brutland and Norden to begin broadcasting programming starting May 15th. The channels will be determined by CMS, and as iper Q-Dish Network's policy, they will of course be uncensored. We are glad to have such a distingushed company such as CMS to join our growing family. There are other deals in the works, but for now, the details are not availible for release.

OOC: Yay!
- - - - - - -
IC:
To: Q-Dish Network

Thank you very much for accepting our offer. We look forward to a great partnership to bring quality viewing to international audiences.

Rebecca Rossetti
President, Companne Medio Speziale
- - - - - - -

Here are one of our channels:

Fetish TV: Watch sexy boys and girls being bound up, poured with porridge, and get horny with your ordinary strawberries and pancakes! Fetish TV is a special channel dedicated to fetishists all over the world. Learn how to do them fetishes safely, correctly, and at the same time, derive maximum enjoyment! We also have reality shows, game shows, and a wide assortment of shows that would surely appeal to fetishists (and even non-fetishists!) Warning: would always contain sexual scenes.

Here's a news article on our launch:
Fetish Channel Opens
KINGSVILLE – A new cable channel catering to fetishists was unveiled yesterday at the grand introduction party of Fetish TV in Kingsville Convention Center. The channel features programs that would appeal to fetishists.

Included in the roster of its shows is La Rilipossetto Sadomasochista (“The Sadomasochist Multillionaire”) in which contestants vie for the love of a sadomasochist multillonaire. Another quiz show, catering to wet and messy fetishists, is La Ponce (“The Punishment”). “The Fetishist’s Guide”, features fetishes, from simple cartoon porn fetish to foot fetishes.

Fetish TV is a project of Co. Medio Speziale (CMS), the media group that also brought the Nord-Brutlandese the channels Crime TV, Science TV, Travel TV, and Scandal TV. “We are establishing channels catering to specific audiences that we think are not satisfied with the current channels and programs already available,” said CMS’s president, Rebecca Rossetti. But when asked whether she was a fetishist, she answered, “No, I’m not the fetishist. Somebody in the creative department must be one.”

At the grand introductory party, people turned up, fetishists and non-fetishists alike. “Hey, it’s a nice channel,” said Cedric Hendrickson, the president of the Timberland Fetish Organization, “folks would learn more about fetishes and possibly dispel any misconceptions that they have. And if they want to try, they can do it safely and at the same time enjoyably, with “The Fetishist’s Guide”.” Hendrickson is a scriptwriter in the show.

“It’s a party,” said Adrian Brossini, “naturally I’d go! But I am not a fetishist… What can I say about the channel, is that I hope they’d be successful in this venture.”

At the party, the pilot episode of La Ponce was made, with the contestants chosen among the partygoers. 24-year-old uniform fetishist Braddo Roscomiore won the L20,000 cash prize, but not after having water, flour, goo, ketchup, and paint poured on his body. Ms. Rossetti herself presented the prize.

The pilot episode is due to be shown tomorrow, when Fetish TV goes up in air. The channel is available in many cable service providers that carry CMS channels, except in certain areas of Brutland.
The article is cut because the other half is political in nature.

To:Rebecca Rossetti
President, Companne Medio Speziale

Fetish TV (FTV on the listings), Will be availble on Channel 13 as of 12:01am this morning. We would also like to know if the following channels are available to offer: Crime TV and Scandal TV. If so, They will be availible on May 14th at 12:01am on Channels 14 and 15 respectively. If not available, then what other channels or shows you will you be able to make available?

From Q-DISH CHANNEL programmers.

To: Q-Dish Network
From: Mrs Dazza Dallas, CEO of Razzle Media

Hello, I'm an inquiring if the Q-Dish network is interested in any of the programmes produced by company Razzle Media. Most people would know about DazMania but it's pointless broadcasting DazMania over Q-Dish as only Jeruselem people can actually participate unless you want to put it on some comedy channel.

Razzle Media take on the most morally challenging TV programmes on Jeruselem TV. Stuff other Jeruselem networks don't touch, mostly involving sex though. We don't do violent programmes but nookie is our speciality.

Love
Dazza Dallas
XXX

Here are some of our other channels:

Crime TV: Get on both sides of the fence! Delve into the law enforcement's side with shows such as "Rules of Engagement", "Crime Scene Investigators", and "Forensic TV". Watch medical autopsies, hostage dramas, live murders, and real ballistic tests that would shatter your TV screen and enter you living room! On some special, secret days, we would jump into the law breaker's side and demystify how to rob banks, capture ATM cards, hijack planes, make bombs, and kidnap personalities! Awesome! (Warning: Crime TV is not responsible if viewers attempting the crimes are caught by police. Come on, do you think we are stupid to show these? Of course we are going to teach you the modus operandi that'll surely land you in jail!)

Scandal TV: Shock! Scandal! Paparazzi! From rapes perpetuated by personalities to boring celebrity breakups, Scandal TV covers it all. A 24-hour channel showing the juiciest scandals anywhere in the world (we have a predilection for sex scandals.) on never-ending entertainment talk shows. Well, it's not never-ending. We also have the show "Create-a-Scandal" in which we try to, well, create some scandals around! Also, we plunge into the bowels of history with "World's Most Amazing Scandals". Learn about scandals, past or present, with Scandal TV!

(more channels: )
Horror TV: Watch adventurous teens get gobbled up by malicious entities! See real-life ghouls, vampires, ghosts, cannibals, and mysterious animals and things from nearly every corner of the world, with "Horror Files". And for something really enjoyable to see, watch "Big Brother: Haunted House" where an evil "Big Brother" ghost gives orders to terrified contestants inside a very very haunted house. Guaranteed to raise the hair at the back of your neck and tingle your spine!
For our very first show, we would be featuring "the TV girl with the messy hair that came out of the well", a ghost that can leap out of your TV screens and eat you alive! The lucky viewers get to be eaten by the "the TV girl with the messy hair that came out of the well"!

Hospital TV: Watch this 24-hour live feed from one of the greatest hospitals around! Learn how to speak medicalese without attending medical school! Get an insight on live surgical procedures being performed, from the good ol' tonsillectomy to a titillating vasectomy! And we also have our reality show: "The Consultant" where doctors vie to be the best one around. Try to solve baffling cases in "Case Files". And follow patients around as they seek cure for their ills. TV has never been this real, bloody, and sterilized!

Future TV: Nope, we are not a science-fiction channel. We are a channel dedicated to foretelling the future! This 24-hour channel has soothsayers, mediums, and fortune-tellers that would predict whether you would win a million in the lottery then die the next day, or whether you husband is cheating on you because you are not the real wife! Viewers can call in and get free tarot readings, crystal ball images, and mind-reading. Reality show upcoming: "The Medium", a contest where psychics vie to accurately predict the future.

To: Q-Dish Network
From: Mrs Dazza Dallas, CEO of Razzle Media

Hello, I'm an inquiring if the Q-Dish network is interested in any of the programmes produced by company Razzle Media. Most people would know about DazMania but it's pointless broadcasting DazMania over Q-Dish as only Jeruselem people can actually participate unless you want to put it on some comedy channel.

Razzle Media take on the most morally challenging TV programmes on Jeruselem TV. Stuff other Jeruselem networks don't touch, mostly involving sex though. We don't do violent programmes but nookie is our speciality.

Love
Dazza Dallas
XXX

Dear Dazza Dallas:

We are ready to broadcast DazMania and anything related to Dazza, and and other Dallas family member on Channel 19: DTV (Dallas TeleVision). It will of course be a part of our premium package, of which Razzle Media will receive the standard 55% of profit. Our lawyers figure an extra $250.00 a month on-top of our very generous $17,000 a month for the complete package fee should suffice.

From Q-DISH CHANNEL programmers.

Here are some of our other channels:

Crime TV: Get on both sides of the fence! Delve into the law enforcement's side with shows such as "Rules of Engagement", "Crime Scene Investigators", and "Forensic TV". Watch medical autopsies, hostage dramas, live murders, and real ballistic tests that would shatter your TV screen and enter you living room! On some special, secret days, we would jump into the law breaker's side and demystify how to rob banks, capture ATM cards, hijack planes, make bombs, and kidnap personalities! Awesome! (Warning: Crime TV is not responsible if viewers attempting the crimes are caught by police. Come on, do you think we are stupid to show these? Of course we are going to teach you the modus operandi that'll surely land you in jail!)

Scandal TV: Shock! Scandal! Paparazzi! From rapes perpetuated by personalities to boring celebrity breakups, Scandal TV covers it all. A 24-hour channel showing the juiciest scandals anywhere in the world (we have a predilection for sex scandals.) on never-ending entertainment talk shows. Well, it's not never-ending. We also have the show "Create-a-Scandal" in which we try to, well, create some scandals around! Also, we plunge into the bowels of history with "World's Most Amazing Scandals". Learn about scandals, past or present, with Scandal TV!

(more channels: )
Horror TV: Watch adventurous teens get gobbled up by malicious entities! See real-life ghouls, vampires, ghosts, cannibals, and mysterious animals and things from nearly every corner of the world, with "Horror Files". And for something really enjoyable to see, watch "Big Brother: Haunted House" where an evil "Big Brother" ghost gives orders to terrified contestants inside a very very haunted house. Guaranteed to raise the hair at the back of your neck and tingle your spine!
For our very first show, we would be featuring "the TV girl with the messy hair that came out of the well", a ghost that can leap out of your TV screens and eat you alive! The lucky viewers get to be eaten by the "the TV girl with the messy hair that came out of the well"!

Hospital TV: Watch this 24-hour live feed from one of the greatest hospitals around! Learn how to speak medicalese without attending medical school! Get an insight on live surgical procedures being performed, from the good ol' tonsillectomy to a titillating vasectomy! And we also have our reality show: "The Consultant" where doctors vie to be the best one around. Try to solve baffling cases in "Case Files". And follow patients around as they seek cure for their ills. TV has never been this real, bloody, and sterilized!

Future TV: Nope, we are not a science-fiction channel. We are a channel dedicated to foretelling the future! This 24-hour channel has soothsayers, mediums, and fortune-tellers that would predict whether you would win a million in the lottery then die the next day, or whether you husband is cheating on you because you are not the real wife! Viewers can call in and get free tarot readings, crystal ball images, and mind-reading. Reality show upcoming: "The Medium", a contest where psychics vie to accurately predict the future.

We readily accept these Channels. They will be on Channels 24, 35, 89, 111 and 999 recpectively. As for the Future Channel, We'd like to make it a premium Channel for a monthly fee of only $250.00 per month on top of our very generous $17,000 a month for the complete package fee.

We readily accept these Channels. They will be on Channels 24, 35, 89, 111 and 999 recpectively. As for the Future Channel, We'd like to make it a premium Channel for a monthly fee of only $250.00 per month on top of our very generous $17,000 a month for the complete package fee.

We're glad they made it to the roster of Q-Dish programming! It is okay for us to make Future Channel a premium Channel.

We would be showing our other channels soon, and our creative department is churning out more.

Thank you.

Current Q-DISH Network Channels:
(Italics are other Countries Networks) (Bold are Premium Channels.. Only an extra $250.00 a Month!)

0: STUPID (Silly Things, Ugly Peons and International Dumbasses)
1: CHAW (C Hillbillies At Work)
13: FTV (Fetish Television) from Companne Medio Speziale
19: DTV (Dallas Television) From Jeruselem
21: HGN (Home Gambling Network)
24: CTV (Crime TV) from Companne Medio Speziale
35: STV Scandal TV from Companne Medio Speziale
69: HCTV (Hardcore Television)
89: BOO (Horror TV) from Companne Medio Speziale
98: TBSC (The Ben Stein Channel)
111: SICK (Hospital TV) from Companne Medio Speziale
420: MJ-TV (Marijuana Television)
666: SATaN (Satanist Atheist Television Network)
756: BBN (Barry Bonds Network)
803: PDC (The Paint Drying Channel)
888: QSPNOcho
999: FuTV (Future TV) from Companne Medio Speziale
1000: AAN (All Archeology Network)

Disclaimer: Q-DISH Network costs $500.00 a day, or $17,000 a month or $230,000 a year. Contract for Q-DISH Network is a standard 25-year contract with a $5,000,000 cancellation fee. Cancel for free at anytime between 12:01am and 11:59pm on February 30th. Offer not valid in The Archregimancy. If bleeding from the eyes occurs, go to a doctor dumbass. Contents may have shifted due to crosswinds. If anal leakage occurs, stop using product until leakage stops.

Dear Dazza Dallas:

We are ready to broadcast DazMania and anything related to Dazza, and and other Dallas family member on Channel 19: DTV (Dallas TeleVision). It will of course be a part of our premium package, of which Razzle Media will receive the standard 55% of profit. Our lawyers figure an extra $250.00 a month on-top of our very generous $17,000 a month for the complete package fee should suffice.

From Q-DISH CHANNEL programmers.

To: Q-Dish Network
From: Mrs Dazza Dallas, CEO of Razzle Media

My lawyers say this is great deal for a small media company like mine. I will accept your offer for Channel 19. It's an honour to get an entire channel for one family. Qazox is like a third home to me.

Love
Dazza Dallas
XXX

Current Q-DISH Network Channels As of 5/17/whatever year it is:
(Italics are other Countries Networks) (Bold are Premium Channels.. Only an extra $250.00 a Month!)

0: STUPID (Silly Things, Ugly Peons and International Dumbasses)
1: CHAW (C Hillbillies At Work)
3: PINA ((Public International News Ariddia) From Ariddia
13: FTV (Fetish Television) from Companne Medio Speziale
19: DTV (Dallas Television) From Jeruselem
21: HGN (Home Gambling Network)
24: CTV (Crime TV) from Companne Medio Speziale
35: STV (Scandal TV) from Companne Medio Speziale
69: HCTV (Hardcore Television)
89: BOO (Horror TV) from Companne Medio Speziale
98: TBSC (The Ben Stein Channel)
111: SICK (Hospital TV) from Companne Medio Speziale
420: MJ-TV (Marijuana Television)
666: SATaN (Satanist Atheist Television Network)
756: BBN (Barry Bonds Network)
803: PDC (The Paint Drying Channel)
888: QSPNOcho
999: FuTV (Future TV) from Companne Medio Speziale
1000: AAN (All Archeology Network)

Disclaimer: Q-DISH Network costs $500.00 a day, or $17,000 a month or $230,000 a year. Contract for Q-DISH Network is a standard 25-year contract with a $5,000,000 cancellation fee. Cancel for free at anytime between 12:01am and 11:59pm on February 30th. Offer not valid in The Archregimancy. If bleeding from the eyes occurs, go to a doctor dumbass. Contents may have shifted due to crosswinds. If anal leakage occurs, stop using product until leakage stops.

Coming Soonish to Q-Dish Network:

Channel 55: SLC (Speed Limit Channel) Watch live video feeds from every Roadside and Stoplight camera in the Q Continuum. See people (and maybe yourself) running red lights, jaywalking, make illegal U-Turns, get caught in Rotaries (or Traffic Circles), and occasionally car crashes. Only on SLC!

Channel 777: HGN2 (Home Gambling Network 2)- Same as the original Home Gambling Network, but now with Slot Machines! Warning: The Fruit that appears on your screen is not edible.

Channel 123: PSN (Pre-School Network) Is your 2 to 4 yr. old child driving you crazy while you do housework? Then plop them down and turn on Channel 123, the Pre-School Network. We show every annoying kid's program ever from Caraway Circle to Blarney the Green Dinosaur and everything in between. And on Sunday's, Smoochie! Disclaimer: May in fact drive you more insane than your kid

Channel 45: ROTV (Really Old TeleVision) Hey remember Howdy Doody? or the Jackie Gleason show? or the original B/W Lassie? Then tune in to ROTV! We have every, and we mean every TV show that ever was broadcast in black and white! Every Saturday and Sunday watch your old favorite kiddie programs, complete with un-edited cigarette commericals! Warning: May cause nostalgia, flashbacks of when that priest molested you and memories of your drunken abusive father.

For shites and giggles BUMP.... (please add new channels!!)

Current Q-DISH Network Channels As of 1/29/whatever year it is in your country:
(Italics are other Countries Networks) (Bold are Premium Channels.. Only an extra $250.00 a Month!)

0: STUPID (Silly Things, Ugly Peons and International Dumbasses)
1: CHAW (C Hillbillies At Work)
3: PINA ((Public International News Ariddia) From Ariddia
13: FTV (Fetish Television) from Companne Medio Speziale
19: DTV (Dallas Television) From Jeruselem
21: HGN (Home Gambling Network)
24: CTV (Crime TV) from Companne Medio Speziale
35: STV Scandal TV from Companne Medio Speziale
45: ROTV (Really Old TeleVision)
55: SLC (Speed Limit Channel)
69: HCTV (Hardcore Television)
89: BOO (Horror TV) from Companne Medio Speziale
98: TBSC (The Ben Stein Channel)
111: SICK (Hospital TV) from Companne Medio Speziale
123: PSN (Pre-School Network)
420: MJ-TV (Marijuana Television)
666: SATaN (Satanist Atheist Television Network)
756: BBN (Barry Bonds Network)
777: HGN2 (Home Gambling Network 2)-
803: PDC (The Paint Drying Channel)
888: QSPNOcho
999: FuTV (Future TV) from Companne Medio Speziale
1000: AAN (All Archeology Network)

Disclaimer: Q-DISH Network costs $500.00 a day, or $17,000 a month or $230,000 a year. Contract for Q-DISH Network is a standard 25-year contract with a $5,000,000 cancellation fee. Cancel for free at anytime between 12:01am and 11:59pm on February 30th. Offer not valid in The Archregimancy. If bleeding from the eyes occurs, go to a doctor dumbass. Contents may have shifted due to crosswinds. If anal leakage occurs, stop using product until leakage stops.


STARTING NEXT MONTH ON Q-DISH NETWORK, check out these channels!

Channel 741- ANI (Animated Network International)
The most sick, twisted, crazy Japanese Anime ever created, along with your old favorites, all un-edited and un-censored. Every Sunday night at 8pm, Classic Anime Movies such as Akira, Fist of the North Star and many more!
Warning: You, your spouse, your kids, or other family members may become geeks after 72 hours of exposure. Watch at own risk.

Channel 42- PDTV (Philosophical Discussion TeleVision)
The only Q-DISH Network channel not banned in The Archregimancy, as they enjoy debates more than any other county. Dissussions of the meaning of life, religion, existance and other topics 24/7. Monday Night Debate is LIVE from The Archregimancy every Monday from 9pm-12pm, with repeats Saturday from 3pm-6pm and 8pm-11pm.
Warning: May cause religious crusades in extremist nations, Theocracies and/or the Middle East.

Channel 86- ETC (Execution and Torture Channel) Premium Channel
Live Execution coverage from around the world, and live tortures every night from 7pm to 1am. Specail programs include: Marquis de Sade's How to love Torture and The Ritual Suicide Hour.
Warning: Not for the squeamish, the ACLU, bleeding heart-liberals, or sane persons. May cause children to grow up to be serial killers.

GeekTV

A channel dedicated to all things Geeky including
* Modding your fave console
* Overclocking your PC to the extreme
* Weird new gadgets for Geeks
* How to protect yourself from Hackers
* New product reviews
* Game reviews
* Technology talk eg Mac vs Windows, Gentoo vs Ubuntu
* Why copyright doesn't work

GeekTV

A channel dedicated to all things Geeky including
* Modding your fave console
* Overclocking your PC to the extreme
* Weird new gadgets for Geeks
* How to protect yourself from Hackers
* New product reviews
* Game reviews
* Technology talk eg Mac vs Windows, Gentoo vs Ubuntu
* Why copyright doesn't work

To: Whom it may concern in Jeruselem:

Sounds like a perfect fit for Q-Dish Network... Unfortunately, unlike DTV (Dallas Television), Geek TV will be part of the normal subscription package.
The channel will begin broadcasting over our satellite net on Feb 1st on channel √-1.

From Q-DISH CHANNEL programmers.

Official Message from Liberty Networks, Allanea

We would like to know if the new channels will be available via paid IPTV. If yes, we would also like to know if you will advertise for them through LibertyNetworks. For only a million dollars, we will sell you a partial list of our clients (500 million email addresses) in order for you to engage in targeted advertising to them.

The list will not include all our clients (we have over 3 billion of them world-widE) but only some, those who have not refused us the power to re-sell their data.

Television Network Introduced, Instantly Banned
Wayne Moore, World Entertainment

The introduction of Qazox's Q-Dish television network set new records for speed today when President-Elect Erik Strong declared in his weekly address that, henceforth, owning a subscription to the Q-Dish Network was a crime punishable by a minimum of five years in a reform facility. The official reason for the declaration was that, with the possible exception of five channels, all of the shows available for viewing were against some form of McPsychovillian law. Some of the highlights were:

Channel 19 (Dallas Television) banned as a result of the near-frozen international relations with Jeruselem.
Channel 98 (The Ben Stein Channel) banned as a result of Mr. Stein's beliefs on the subject of Intelligent Design
Channel 420 (Marijuana Television) banned due to the absolute zero-tolerance policy on all non-medicinal drugs
Channels 21 and 777 (the Home Gambling Network Channels) banned because they contravened the laws regarding gambling - namely, if it's not sanctioned by the government, it's illegal.
Channel 1000 (All Archaeology Network) banned for being "just too dull".

Curiously, channel 0 (STUPID) - Silly Things, Ugly Peons and International Dumbasses - was mentioned as being the only one that citizens may subscribe to using the internet, as its content is seen as being "good, family fun". The President-Elect brought up hit show Amateur Hospital, where contestants are given a surgical procedure, 24 hours to study it and a subject and are then scored on the time their subject survives under the knife, as a good example, and a McPsychovillian edition has already been commissioned.

Official Message from Liberty Networks, Allanea

We would like to know if the new channels will be available via paid IPTV. If yes, we would also like to know if you will advertise for them through LibertyNetworks. For only a million dollars, we will sell you a partial list of our clients (500 million email addresses) in order for you to engage in targeted advertising to them.

The list will not include all our clients (we have over 3 billion of them world-widE) but only some, those who have not refused us the power to re-sell their data.

To Liberty Networks, Allanea:

We wholeheartedly accept the offer from your company to allow our programming to be carried on IPTV. The only channels we are currently authorized to allow you to carry though our satellite net are:

STUPID (Silly Things, Ugly Peons and International Dumbasses)
HGN (Home Gambling Network)
HGN2 (Home Gambling Network 2)
PSN (Pre-School Network) and
QSPNOcho


We are in negotiations with the other networks for permission to broadcast them through IPTV. As for the foreign channels, (ie: PINA (Public International News Ariddia) From Ariddia, CTV (Crime TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, and DTV (Dallas Television) from Jeruselem, you will have to contact them in order to carry their programming.

In regards to your client list, send them over, the check is in the mail.

From Q-DISH CHANNEL programmers.

Television Network Introduced, Instantly Banned
Wayne Moore, World Entertainment

The introduction of Qazox's Q-Dish television network set new records for speed today when President-Elect Erik Strong declared in his weekly address that, henceforth, owning a subscription to the Q-Dish Network was a crime punishable by a minimum of five years in a reform facility. The official reason for the declaration was that, with the possible exception of five channels, all of the shows available for viewing were against some form of McPsychovillian law. Some of the highlights were:

Channel 19 (Dallas Television) banned as a result of the near-frozen international relations with Jeruselem.
Channel 98 (The Ben Stein Channel) banned as a result of Mr. Stein's beliefs on the subject of Intelligent Design
Channel 420 (Marijuana Television) banned due to the absolute zero-tolerance policy on all non-medicinal drugs
Channels 21 and 777 (the Home Gambling Network Channels) banned because they contravened the laws regarding gambling - namely, if it's not sanctioned by the government, it's illegal.
Channel 1000 (All Archaeology Network) banned for being "just too dull".

Curiously, channel 0 (STUPID) - Silly Things, Ugly Peons and International Dumbasses - was mentioned as being the only one that citizens may subscribe to using the internet, as its content is seen as being "good, family fun". The President-Elect brought up hit show Amateur Hospital, where contestants are given a surgical procedure, 24 hours to study it and a subject and are then scored on the time their subject survives under the knife, as a good example, and a McPsychovillian edition has already been commissioned.

To whom it may concern in McPsychoville:

While Q-DISH Network proudly stands by its programming options and channels, we do believe in government rights to censor. Although the concept of censorship is, in our opinion, not worth caring about, we wish to continue our relationship with our customers in your country. If possible, a list of acceptable channels can be forwarded to our headquarters, and an appropriate cost reduction for customers in McPsychoville will be made, based on the number of channels allowed to be broadcast in the country.

While not all of our programming may be "suitable" for your nation, it is our hope that in the future, all of our quality programming and channels will be made available once again. In the future, more channels that meet your standards may be available, and hopefully, McPsychoville will have us continue to provide entertainment to your country.

From Q-DISH CHANNEL programmers.

To: Liberty Networks, Allanea
From: Lady Dazzarina Handiskya Dallas

As Allanea is a good friend of Jeruselem is of now and in the past, I have no problems allowing Liberty Networks to carry the DTV or Dallas TV on IPTV. As usual, there are a few conditions attached to this but I think you'll find them very reasonable.

Attached is my lawyer's notes on this.

Dazza Dallas
XXX

Current Q-DISH Network Channels As of 5/01/whatever year it is in your country:
(Italics are other Countries Networks) (Bold are Premium Channels.. Only an extra $250.00 a Month! )

0: STUPID (Silly Things, Ugly Peons and International Dumbasses)
1: CHAW (C Hillbillies At Work)
3: PINA ((Public International News Ariddia) From Ariddia
13: FTV (Fetish Television) from Companne Medio Speziale
19: DTV (Dallas Television) From Jeruselem
21: HGN (Home Gambling Network)
24: CTV (Crime TV) from Companne Medio Speziale
35: STV Scandal TV from Companne Medio Speziale
42: PDTV (Philosophical Discussion TeleVision)
45: ROTV (Really Old TeleVision)
55: SLC (Speed Limit Channel)
69: HCTV (Hardcore Television)
86- ETC (Execution and Torture Channel)
89: BOO (Horror TV) from Companne Medio Speziale
98: TBSC (The Ben Stein Channel)
111: SICK (Hospital TV) from Companne Medio Speziale
123: PSN (Pre-School Network)
420: MJ-TV (Marijuana Television)
666: SATaN (Satanist Atheist Television Network)
741: ANI (Animated Network International)
756: BBN (Barry Bonds Network)
777: HGN2 (Home Gambling Network 2)
803: PDC (The Paint Drying Channel)
888: QSPNOcho
999: FuTV (Future TV) from Companne Medio Speziale
1000: AAN (All Archeology Network)

Disclaimer: Q-DISH Network costs $500.00 a day, or $17,000 a month or $230,000 a year. Contract for Q-DISH Network is a standard 25-year contract with a $5,000,000 cancellation fee. Cancel for free at anytime between 12:01am and 11:59pm on February 30th. Offer not valid in The Archregimancy. If bleeding from the eyes occurs, go to a doctor dumbass. Contents may have shifted due to crosswinds. If anal leakage occurs, stop using product until leakage stops.


STARTING May 15th ON Q-DISH NETWORK, check out these new channels to our lineup!

Channel 200: (QSPNInt) QSPN International
Live coverage of every other nations' national sport. From Camel racing in Dubai to Polar Bear Baiting from Greenland, to what ever Daehanjeiguk's national sport is, we got it. Also carries live coverage of international football transfers.
Warning: May contain little to no actual sports coverage.

Channel 482: GTATV (Grand Theft Auto TeleVision)
Not to be confused with the succesful video game franchise, GTATV shows unedited home videos of Cars being stolen around the world. Tune in on Tuesday Nights at 8:00 for Chop Shop News, a round table disscussion with local Chop Shop owners on topics from current trends in parts to how to disable car alarms.
Disclaimer: Sunday Mornings from 6:00 am to 11:00 am are dedicated to videos of people playing GTA IV.

Channel 321: BLAST (Blasting, Lasers, Archenemies and Spies Television)
Finally a channel dedicated to the wanna-be Mad Scientist! Featuring a Daily call-in show from 2pm til 6pm with our resident Mad Doctors, Dr. Atomic and Professor Fallout, where any and all topics can be covered from how to find plutonium to finding decent henchmen. This Channel also contains the international hit: LAIRS, where each week, our inept henchman, #3 visits a different lair each week!
Warning: Allowing LAIRS to visit your lair, may result in any of the follwing: A visit from the UN, an attack by your archenemy and accidental destruction of your lair. Contact #3 at your own risk.

Yo, Q-Dish!

So, like, we were watching Dodgeball on the Ocho, and then looked at the programming list, and we thought to ourselves, Wow... they don't have a horrible glut of redundant sports programming. This cannot be! To remedy this deficiency, we would like to inquire if Q-Dish is interested in adding DSPN to its lineup. DSPN offers a wide array of Dancougar's best college sports programming and programs that we may or may not have blatantly copied from this thing called "ESPN," although we're not exactly sure which of the "E" countries owns that. I guess there's the occasional odd thing on, too, because, well, we don't play much else besides football, so the summers are pretty slow. Weekdays too. I guess there's match replays, and such, blaugh, whatever.

We also have a channel devoted to hyperviolent Japanese robot cartoons, if you're into that.

Taeshan Would like to offer up the use of TSPN by the Q-dish Network. We'd be willing to let you use it as a premium channel. Hopefully 14. Anyways were thinking of a contract were you pay us a million dollars every year for the use of TSPN(Taeshan Sports Network)which includes all the sports shows in Taeshan, and the following channels.

TSPN Soccer- All world cup coverage all the tiume, Dally showings of both Tae Wins against Daehanjeiguk.

TSPN Baseball- Showings of the World Baseball Classic, Tae WBC runs, and the Taeshan Premiership League.

TSPN Hockey- Coverage of the WCOH, and the Taeshan Hockey League, and all hockey teams in the Continuum.

TSPN Basketball- All basketball all the time

TSPN Ping Pong- Table Tennis network if youy prefer

The WTATA channel-(whats that asshole talking about)

Game show Network(Family Food Fight, Who is that porn star, Gay Party, Jeopardy Taeshan, and wells of Fortune)

And Also the Taeshan Stalker Alliance S
how for future stalkers and youngsters looking for a future.

We also have a channel devoted to hyperviolent Japanese robot cartoons, if you're into that.

We forgot to mention that Robotech is scheduled for every day, 4:00 pm sharp, except the only episode that ever plays is the Miss Macross one, because every freaking time I thought to turn on Cartoon Network and watch Robotech, "Oh, hey, sweet, 80s robot carto.... DAMN MISS MACROSS EPISODE AGAIN?! WE ALREADY KNOW MINMAY WINS!" And then I was depressed, but Gundam Wing happened and the problem solved itself... oh, did we mention that the only episode of Robotech in the archives is the Miss Macross episode?

Yo, Q-Dish!

So, like, we were watching Dodgeball on the Ocho, and then looked at the programming list, and we thought to ourselves, Wow... they don't have a horrible glut of redundant sports programming. This cannot be! To remedy this deficiency, we would like to inquire if Q-Dish is interested in adding DSPN to its lineup. DSPN offers a wide array of Dancougar's best college sports programming and programs that we may or may not have blatantly copied from this thing called "ESPN," although we're not exactly sure which of the "E" countries owns that. I guess there's the occasional odd thing on, too, because, well, we don't play much else besides football, so the summers are pretty slow. Weekdays too. I guess there's match replays, and such, blaugh, whatever.

We also have a channel devoted to hyperviolent Japanese robot cartoons, if you're into that.

To whom it may consern in Dancougar and taeshan:
Sorry, but we already carry QSPN, QSPN2, QSPNews, QSPN Classic, QSPNOcho, QSPN U (for all College sports), QSPNHS (High school Sports) and debuting soon QSPN International. We are unable to add your DSPN and TSPN respectively, however, QSPN International is interested in carrying your programming, if possible.

Dancougar; as for the hyperviolent Japanese robot cartoons, we already have all of those on 741: ANI (Animated Network International).

Taeshan, as for Stalker Alliance S, we carry a similar show on Channel 13: FTV (Fetish Television). But we are interested to add your Game Shows as in July we are planning to launch GEM a channel dedicated to Gameshows, Entertainment News and random Maulings.

Ah, we appear to have lost the ability to read your channel listings. La la la la la, carry on ^_^;

To whom it may concern-

We here at the Media Board of The UHI are intrested in using your Q-Dish system in our country. We find that all Stations meet requirements. and we also would like to add a few of our own.



Here they are

747 AVIA - Avia is the only 24hr TV Station in the Heartland region devoted to aviation. Popular shows include JeTalk; A discussion program of the aviation industtry in the Heartland. Fly Films Which show variuos planes taking off and landing. And the Heartland Airraces . (which are similar to the RedBull Airraces.)


500 Speedway - Speedway is a TV Channel devoted exclusively to Auto Racing. It is the exclusive broadcaster of the NSSCRL in the Heartland.

389 L-O-L Channel - L-O-L Channell is one of the leading Comedy Channell's in the UHI it showcases Variuos stand-up routines and shows like North Moose Lick Creek, The Bubba's, and News at Ten Thirty. Also contains the highest rated program on UHI TV: Whose Line is it Anyways?

To whom it may concern-

We here at the Media Board of The UHI are intrested in using your Q-Dish system in our country. We find that all Stations meet requirements. and we also would like to add a few of our own.



Here they are

747 AVIA - Avia is the only 24hr TV Station in the Heartland region devoted to aviation. Popular shows include JeTalk; A discussion program of the aviation industtry in the Heartland. Fly Films Which show variuos planes taking off and landing. And the Heartland Airraces . (which are similar to the RedBull Airraces.)


500 Speedway - Speedway is a TV Channel devoted exclusively to Auto Racing. It is the exclusive broadcaster of the NSSCRL in the Heartland.

389 L-O-L Channel - L-O-L Channell is one of the leading Comedy Channell's in the UHI it showcases Variuos stand-up routines and shows like North Moose Lick Creek, The Bubba's, and News at Ten Thirty. Also contains the highest rated program on UHI TV: Whose Line is it Anyways?

To: the Media Board of The UHI.
From: Q-DISH Network Programmers.
RE: Channels

We are always pleased to see new and varied programming join our satellite network. We are also very proud that UHI has decided to use Q-DISH as it main source of international programming. As such, we are authorized to grant you a discount on the programming package. But the discount paperwork was eaten by a goat, and please don't ask why a goat was in our finance department, though it was a very very wild party and that big chested secretary from accounting just can't hold her liqour and then she... but we digress. We'll add your channels at the next availble update which is on May 4th.

From: X-Media
To: Whom it may concern

If it does not trouble you we'd like you to carry

CH.13 LXET X-Olbu The Primary X affilate in Lurikastan giving High Quality programming. (Internationally)

For the different regions of our country, we'd like you to provide Regional Affilliates.

And the Naked News Network: A 24-Hr. news channel gining the Naked truth.

To: X-Media
From: Q-DISH Network Programmers.
RE: Channels

We apologize, but Channel 13 is already in use by FTV (Fetish Television) from Companne Medio Speziale; and on both Channel 19, DTV (Dallas Television) From Jeruselem, and Channel 69, HCTV (Hardcore Television) we carry versions of the Naked News.

As for LXET, we can carry the channel for you, but we do not do Regional Affilliates, as doing such takes up too much bandwidth on our satellite servers and also due to compression issues. We will place LXET on channel 5 if that is alright with you.

We apologize again that we are unable to do all that you ask of us, but please continue to use Q-DISH for all your international satellite needs.

(ooc: i need to clarify a few things:
1- We don't do LOCAL channels, (based on RL examples of DirectTV and Dish Network)
2- This thread is for signing up for Q-DISH. (which of course is not really availible)
3- or creating the most outlandish TV Channels possible (THE TRUE REASON for the thread)
Thanks.)

To: Q-Dish
From: X media

Thanks for carrying WXET, we do have some other great channels that wed like you to consider.

HELL - Ch. 666 (How Evil Laminates Leaves)- Shows a woman laminating leaves.

Zoo XXX - Ch 269 Animal sex, animal and human sex!

Mario Kart - Ch 458 Live feed from Mario Kart on Nintendo Wifi

ELHT Ch 434 (Everyone loves Hypnotoad) A toad hypnotizes you!

3- or creating the most outlandish TV Channels possible (THE TRUE REASON for the thread)
Thanks.)

Well, snap and a half.

So you have no need for a DSPN... but what about a channel of guys sitting around in their friend's mom's basement WATCHING DSPN? With live commentary on which sportscaster has the best hair, why that tackle should be a penalty for Hazuki State, and dude, have you showered this week?

Well, snap and a half.

So you have no need for a DSPN... but what about a channel of guys sitting around in their friend's mom's basement WATCHING DSPN? With live commentary on which sportscaster has the best hair, why that tackle should be a penalty for Hazuki State, and dude, have you showered this week?

Well come up with a name and a description, and i'll add it.

United Kelssek Cable would like to offer two of its specially-produced specialty channels to the Q-DISH network:

The Fireplace Channel - Features dynamic and enthralling 24/7 footage of a burning log fireplace. Allows people to pretend their TV is in fact a fireplace any time of the day or year, although it will not generate quite the same amount of heat.

Vending Machine Channel - Allows viewers to watch various vending machines in several different locations.

To Whom it may concern
From X Media

About the other channels we suggested, would you like to take them. And Is it possible that people living in regions with X affilates can some how get a local station if they get TV through you.

JMB - Joe's Mom's Basement
Joe and his friends are out of work, out of luck, and out of stuff to watch. So now they talk back to the TV. You can join in this most time-honored tradition of interacting with your television, living vicariously through these guys as they discuss the pressing issues of the day over sitcoms, reality TV, and sport. Although they mostly just get drunk and shout at it.

To Whom it may concern
From X Media

About the other channels we suggested, would you like to take them. And Is it possible that people living in regions with X affilates can some how get a local station if they get TV through you.

REPLY to X-media and UKC
As stated before, we cannot carry local channels due to issues beyond our control. As for the other stations you have offered:

X-Media:
HELL - Ch. 666 (How Evil Laminates Leaves)- Shows a woman laminating leaves. SORRY, NO. for 2 reasons, 1- we already have a channel 666 666: SATaN (Satanist Atheist Television Network), and 2, we already have a couple of channels dedicated to curing insomnia (803: PDC (The Paint Drying Channel) and 42: PDTV (Philosophical Discussion TeleVision))

Zoo XXX - Ch 269 Animal sex, animal and human sex! YES, but as a PREMIUM CHANNEL (only an extra $250.00 a month!)

Mario Kart - Ch 458 Live feed from Mario Kart on Nintendo Wifi- SORRY, NO.

ELHT Ch 434 (Everyone loves Hypnotoad) A toad hypnotizes you! YES (ooc: futurama fan huh?)

UKC:
The Fireplace Channel - Features dynamic and enthralling 24/7 footage of a burning log fireplace. Allows people to pretend their TV is in fact a fireplace any time of the day or year, although it will not generate quite the same amount of heat. - YES

Vending Machine Channel - Allows viewers to watch various vending machines in several different locations. - YES

A complete update will be posted shortly as the programmers have been hard at work, watching Channel 420 all weekend.

Current Q-DISH Network Channels As of 5/04/whatever year it is in your country:
(Italics are other Countries Networks) (Bold are Premium Channels.. Only an extra $250.00 a Month! )

√-1: GEEK TV (Geeky things TeleVision) From Jeruselem
0: STUPID (Silly Things, Ugly Peons and International Dumbasses)
1: CHAW (C Hillbillies At Work)
3: PINA ((Public International News Ariddia) From Ariddia
5: WXET (X-Media Channel) from X-Media, Lurikastan
13: FTV (Fetish Television) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
19: DTV (Dallas Television) From Jeruselem
21: HGN (Home Gambling Network)
24: CTV (Crime TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
35: STV Scandal TV from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
42: PDTV (Philosophical Discussion TeleVision)
44: TFC: (The Fireplace Channel) from Kelssek
45: ROTV (Really Old TeleVision)
55: SLC (Speed Limit Channel)
66: PFTV (Prison Fight TeleVision) from X-Media, Lurikastan
69: HCTV (Hardcore Television)
70: QSPN
71: QSPN2
72: QSPNews
73: QSPN Classic
86- ETC (Execution and Torture Channel)
88- VMC (Vending Machine Channel) from Kelssek
89: BOO (Horror TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
98: TBSC (The Ben Stein Channel)
101: QSPN-HD
102: QSPN2-HD
103: QSPNews-HD
104: QSPNClassic-HD
105: QSPN U
106: QSPNHS
107: QSPN International.
108: QSPNOcho-HD
111: SICK (Hospital TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
123: PSN (Pre-School Network)
150: JMB - (Joe's Mom's Basement) from Dancougar
269: ZooXXX (Freaky animal sex Channel) from X-Media, Lurikastan
389: LOL (Laugh-Out-Loud) from Media Board of The UHI, United Hetzel
420: MJ-TV (Marijuana Television)
434: ELHT (Everyone Loves Hypno-Toad) from X-Media, Lurikastan
500: SPDW (SPeeDWay) from Media Board of The UHI, United Hetzel
666: SATaN (Satanist Atheist Television Network)
741: ANI (Animated Network International)
747: AVIA (AVIAtion Channel) from Media Board of The UHI, United Hetzel
756: BBN (Barry Bonds Network)
777: HGN2 (Home Gambling Network 2)
803: PDC (The Paint Drying Channel)
888: QSPNOcho
999: FuTV (Future TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
1000: AAN (All Archeology Network)

Disclaimer: Q-DISH Network costs $500.00 a day, or $17,000 a month or $230,000 a year. Contract for Q-DISH Network is a standard 25-year contract with a $5,000,000 cancellation fee. Cancel for free at anytime between 12:01am and 11:59pm on February 30th. Offer not valid in The Archregimancy. If bleeding from the eyes occurs, go to a doctor dumbass. Contents may have shifted due to crosswinds. If anal leakage occurs, stop using product until leakage stops.

(OOC again. IF you want to add a channel, PLEASE take note of the channel listings and try to come up with something different, thanks!)

To Whom it may concern
From:X-Media

Wed also like to give you:

CH.57 PFTV- Shows prison fights

CH. 678 Q-SPAN Shows boring government stuff. (Originally X-SPAN)

Richardo Nuniez
President of X-Media
Opum, Lurikastan

Current Q-DISH Network Channels As of 5/04/whatever year it is in your country:
(Italics are other Countries Networks) (Bold are Premium Channels.. Only an extra $250.00 a Month! )

0: STUPID (Silly Things, Ugly Peons and International Dumbasses)
1: CHAW (C Hillbillies At Work)
3: PINA ((Public International News Ariddia) From Ariddia
5: WXET (X-Media Channel) From Lurikastan
13: FTV (Fetish Television) from Companne Medio Speziale
19: DTV (Dallas Television) From Jeruselem
21: HGN (Home Gambling Network)
24: CTV (Crime TV) from Companne Medio Speziale
35: STV Scandal TV from Companne Medio Speziale
42: PDTV (Philosophical Discussion TeleVision)
44: TFC: (The Fireplace Channel) from Kelssek
45: ROTV (Really Old TeleVision)
55: SLC (Speed Limit Channel)
69: HCTV (Hardcore Television)
70: QSPN
71: QSPN2
72: QSPNews
73: QSPN Classic
86- ETC (Execution and Torture Channel)
88- VMC (Vending Machine Channel) from Kelssek
89: BOO (Horror TV) from Companne Medio Speziale
98: TBSC (The Ben Stein Channel)
101: QSPN-HD
102: QSPN2-HD
103: QSPNews-HD
104: QSPNClassic-HD
105: QSPN U
106: QSPNHS
107: QSPN International.
108: QSPNOcho-HD
111: SICK (Hospital TV) from Companne Medio Speziale
123: PSN (Pre-School Network)
150: JMB - (Joe's Mom's Basement) from Dancougar
269: ZooXXX (Freaky animal sex Channel) from Lurikastan
420: MJ-TV (Marijuana Television)
434: ELHT (Everyone Loves Hypno-Toad) from Lurikastan
666: SATaN (Satanist Atheist Television Network)
741: ANI (Animated Network International)
756: BBN (Barry Bonds Network)
777: HGN2 (Home Gambling Network 2)
803: PDC (The Paint Drying Channel)
888: QSPNOcho
999: FuTV (Future TV) from Companne Medio Speziale
1000: AAN (All Archeology Network)

Disclaimer: Q-DISH Network costs $500.00 a day, or $17,000 a month or $230,000 a year. Contract for Q-DISH Network is a standard 25-year contract with a $5,000,000 cancellation fee. Cancel for free at anytime between 12:01am and 11:59pm on February 30th. Offer not valid in The Archregimancy. If bleeding from the eyes occurs, go to a doctor dumbass. Contents may have shifted due to crosswinds. If anal leakage occurs, stop using product until leakage stops.


*Squints*


I don't see my three channels on the list.

*Squints*


I don't see my three channels on the list.

To: Whom it may consern in UH
From: Q-DISH Programming Manager.
RE: WTH?!?!

We apologize for the oversight, as the programmer who was supposed to add your channels was instead found eating a rat in the cellar. He has been removed from his duties, and your channels, which we approved of, but the Programming secretary, you know the one that kinda looks like a cross between a Shit-zu and a Howler Monkety? She left early and forgot to send out the confirmation. The channels should now be up and we apologize again for the delay.

To: Richardo Nuniez, President of X-Media; Opum, Lurikastan
From: Q-DISH Programming Manager.
RE: New channels.

We gladly accept PFTV- Shows prison fights, and it will be on Channel 66 (Channel 57 is being reserved for other programing. sorry)
But we decline to carry Q-SPAN. We refuse to show goverment in progress, under the sausage principle. (ie: if you see how a sausage is made, then you're less likely to want to eat one.) that and We are forbidden to carry other countries government channels. (take that up with our esteemed Secretary of State)

To Whom it may concern,

We are a small time Viral network online here in Gwaine offering our paying customers the most pointless and ridiculous channels. They are the following:

The Equation Channel (EC)- Random professors on campuses talking about equations no one has ever heard of it (V=1/2x-r>tw*42=6.982+6w).

The Toilet Channel (TTC)- Features fat guys taking dumps, very popular to our fetish customers. Also at 9am we have LIVE from the office Bathroom with commentary.

The Old Guy (TOG)- Features an old guy talking about the good ole days with stories that never end and simply repeat.

And our more popular channels-

Giraffes Gone Wild (GGW)- Has footage from safari's of Giraffes flashing and having sex in public places. Disclaimer: All Giraffes are of legal age.

The Milkshake Network (TMN)- Features people making milkshakes to the song "Milkshake", and at 10pm features fat guys dancing for an hour.

The Drunk Channel (TDC)l- An outrageous channel featuring people passing out drunk, drunk chicks flashing, people attempting to drive drunk, and every night at 8 theres 'Live Life as an Alcoholic' which has wife beating, crazy drunken bar fights, and the eventual AA meeting the guy is forced to attend after a DUI charge and assaulting an officer.

If you do accept these channels but them on respectable dials.

Thank You
Regean Morre

FYI, Im pretty shure thats on ZooXXX im shure we can integrate your programming into our channel.

Richardo Nunez
President, X - Media

To Whom it may concern,

We are a small time Viral network online here in Gwaine offering our paying customers the most pointless and ridiculous channels. They are the following:

The Equation Channel (EC)- Random professors on campuses talking about equations no one has ever heard of it (V=1/2x-r>tw*42=6.982+6w).

The Toilet Channel (TTC)- Features fat guys taking dumps, very popular to our fetish customers. Also at 9am we have LIVE from the office Bathroom with commentary.

The Old Guy (TOG)- Features an old guy talking about the good ole days with stories that never end and simply repeat.

And our more popular channels-

Giraffes Gone Wild (GGW)- Has footage from safari's of Giraffes flashing and having sex in public places. Disclaimer: All Giraffes are of legal age.

The Milkshake Network (TMN)- Features people making milkshakes to the song "Milkshake", and at 10pm features fat guys dancing for an hour.

The Drunk Channel (TDC)l- An outrageous channel featuring people passing out drunk, drunk chicks flashing, people attempting to drive drunk, and every night at 8 theres 'Live Life as an Alcoholic' which has wife beating, crazy drunken bar fights, and the eventual AA meeting the guy is forced to attend after a DUI charge and assaulting an officer.

If you do accept these channels but them on respectable dials.

Thank You
Regean Morre

To whom it may concern in Gwaine:
From: Q-DISH Programming Manager.
RE: Channels.

Of the channels offered by your company, the only ones that we are interested in carrying would be: TDC, EC and TOG. As for the other channels you have offered, GGW is covered by ZooXXX by X Media, TMN is just too scary to even watch, and not even we would carry TTC, we do have some self-respect after all. Once again, we apologize that we are unable to carry all of your channels. But we are interested in any others that you may have the rights to.

Official Message from Allanean Arms, Incorporated

How much would it cost to advertise for our line of civilian cars on your networks?

Official Message from Allanean Arms, Incorporated

How much would it cost to advertise for our line of civilian cars on your networks?

The current rates are:

30 seconds per hr: $145,000.
1 min per hr: $250,000.
2 min per hr: $450,000.
For a complete hour of commercials: $5.2 million.

Current Q-DISH Network Channels As of August 25th of whatever year it is in your country:
(Italics are other Countries Networks) (Bold are Premium Channels.. Only an extra $250.00 a Month or or $50,000 a year ! )
(New Channels (added since June) are in RED!)


√-1: GEEK TV (Geeky things TeleVision) From Jeruselem
√x: TEC (The Equation Channel) from Gwaine
0: STUPID (Silly Things, Ugly Peons and International Dumbasses)
1: CHAW (C Hillbillies At Work)
3: PINA ((Public International News Ariddia) From Ariddia
5: WXET (X-Media Channel) from X-Media, Lurikastan
13: FTV (Fetish Television) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
17: TOGC (The Old Guy Channel) From Gwaine
19: DTV (Dallas Television) From Jeruselem
21: HGN (Home Gambling Network)
24: CTV (Crime TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
33: TDC (The Drunk Channel) from Gwaine
35: STV Scandal TV from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
42: PDTV (Philosophical Discussion TeleVision)
44: TFC: (The Fireplace Channel) from Kelssek
45: ROTV (Really Old TeleVision)
55: SLC (Speed Limit Channel)
66: PFTV (Prison Fight TeleVision) from X-Media, Lurikastan
69: HCTV (Hardcore Television)
70: QSPN
71: QSPN2
72: QSPNews
73: QSPN Classic
86- ETC (Execution and Torture Channel)
88- VMC (Vending Machine Channel) from Kelssek
89: BOO (Horror TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
98: TBSC (The Ben Stein Channel)
101: QSPN-HD
102: QSPN2-HD
103: QSPNews-HD
104: QSPNClassic-HD
105: QSPN U
106: QSPNHS
107: QSPN International.
108: QSPNOcho-HD
111: SICK (Hospital TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
123: PSN (Pre-School Network)
150: JMB - (Joe's Mom's Basement) from Dancougar
269: ZooXXX (Freaky animal sex Channel) from X-Media, Lurikastan
389: LOL (Laugh-Out-Loud) from Media Board of The UHI, United Hetzel
420: MJ-TV (Marijuana Television)
434: ELHT (Everyone Loves Hypno-Toad) from X-Media, Lurikastan
500: SPDW (SPeeDWay) from Media Board of The UHI, United Hetzel
666: SATaN (Satanist Atheist Television Network)
741: ANI (Animated Network International)
747: AVIA (AVIAtion Channel) from Media Board of The UHI, United Hetzel
756: BBN (Barry Bonds Network)
777: HGN2 (Home Gambling Network 2)
803: PDC (The Paint Drying Channel)
888: QSPNOcho
999: FuTV (Future TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
1000: AAN (All Archeology Network)

Disclaimer: Q-DISH Network costs $500.00 a day, or $17,000 a month or $230,000 a year. Contract for Q-DISH Network is a standard 25-year contract with a $5,000,000 cancellation fee. Cancel for free at anytime between 12:01am and 11:59pm on February 30th. Offer not valid in The Archregimancy. If bleeding from the eyes occurs, go to a doctor dumbass. Contents may have shifted due to crosswinds. If anal leakage occurs, stop using product until leakage stops.

UPDATE: New special Pricing for New subcribers from September 1st to September 30th. Q-DISH Network will cost you only $1.00 an hour!

UPDATE 2: See our new Wiki page (Only costs you $0.10 per second to view!) here: http://wikistates.outwardhosting.com/wiki/Q-DISH_Network

To: Q-Dish Network Programmers
From: Hogg Productions

We are a small TV production company seeking to break out into the international market. As such we would like to offer Q-Dish the opportunity to take on our channel; The Fireplace Channel. This channel is perfect for those people who do not have access to a proper fireplace but are in need of a fire to create an atmosphere, whether it is a couple wanting to hold each other in their arms while staring into the fire place, a party host wanting a fire in the background on a winter night. The channel is also useful during the summer months where fire restrictions might apply where we have the special episode "Bonfire". We hope you will take on this channel and add it to the Q-Dish Network.

To: Q-Dish Network Programmers
From: Hogg Productions

We are a small TV production company seeking to break out into the international market. As such we would like to offer Q-Dish the opportunity to take on our channel; The Fireplace Channel. This channel is perfect for those people who do not have access to a proper fireplace but are in need of a fire to create an atmosphere, whether it is a couple wanting to hold each other in their arms while staring into the fire place, a party host wanting a fire in the background on a winter night. The channel is also useful during the summer months where fire restrictions might apply where we have the special episode "Bonfire". We hope you will take on this channel and add it to the Q-Dish Network.

To Whom it may concern at Hogg Productions:
From: Q-DISH Network Head Programmer:
RE: The Fireplace Channel.

We regret to inform you that we already carry a The Fireplace Channel, it is Channel 44: TFC: (The Fireplace Channel) from Kelssek.

While your channel maybe more enthraling than Kelssek's channel, we believe that it would cause too much confusion amongst our subcribers. If you have other channels that you might like to suggest, we will listen to them. Once again, we apologize for the inconveinence.

Wed like to submit to Q Dish the following chanels

SAC-The Sex and Chess channel for fans of chess and sex alike
CMB-The Cheese, Meat and beer channel
DCC-The Dog chasing Cats channel
BAND-Broads and Nudest Diary channel

Wed like to submit to Q Dish the following chanels

SAC-The Sex and Chess channel for fans of chess and sex alike
CMB-The Cheese, Meat and beer channel
DCC-The Dog chasing Cats channel
BAND-Broads and Nudest Diary channel

To Whom it may concern in Taeshan:
From: Q-DISH Network Head Programmer:
RE: Your Networks

SAC: The Sex and Chess channel and BAND: Broads and Nudest Diary channel are covered by Channel 13: FTV (Fetish Television) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden , and are not candidates for inclusion. As for the other 2 channels, We'll add them to the line up on September 1st, when the monthly sattelite updates are completed. CMB: The Cheese, Meat and Beer channel will be on Channel 2, while DCC: The Dogs Chasing Cats Channel will be on Channel 28.

We appriciate your business and hope to have further future relations with your programming.

*snip*

OOC: Would you believe I went over that list at least three times, and I never saw it. Bloody hell I thought I had one there.

OOC: Would you believe I went over that list at least three times, and I never saw it. Bloody hell I thought I had one there.

(ooc: You ain't the first one.)

Two highly entertaining channel offers for you:

247: RICH- Shows episodes of rich people flaunting their wealth around as well as things they get less fortunate people to do for a buck just for the thrill of it.

248: SCAM- Chronicles some of the greatest scams ever pulled off, with successful "entrepreneurs" also having their own programs where they provide advice and techniques for pulling scams off and getting away with it.

Oh yeah when you put them in the official Taeshani TV Network(which happens to be owned by Fadron Pizza like most companies in Taeshan. Which owns the rights to all 67 Cable channels in Taeshan(we have no other networks) is TSPN International. Hey icould start the Taeshani Network page and see if anyone would by it hmm...

Two highly entertaining channel offers for you:

247: RICH- Shows episodes of rich people flaunting their wealth around as well as things they get less fortunate people to do for a buck just for the thrill of it.

248: SCAM- Chronicles some of the greatest scams ever pulled off, with successful "entrepreneurs" also having their own programs where they provide advice and techniques for pulling scams off and getting away with it.

To whom it may concern in Secristan:
From: Q-DISH Programming Director:
RE: Channels.

They are so in.

Sincerly, QDPD
cc: all

Current Q-DISH Network Channels As of October 5th of whatever year it is in your country:
(Italics are other Countries Networks) (Bold are Premium Channels.. Only an extra $250.00 a Month or or $50,000 a year! )
(New Channels (added since August) are in RED!)


√-1: GEEK TV (Geeky Things TeleVision) From Jeruselem
√x: TEC (The Equation Channel) from Gwaine
0: STUPID (Silly Things, Ugly Peons and International Dumbasses)
1: CHAW (C Hillbillies At Work)
2: CMB: (The Cheese, Meat and Beer Channel) From Taeshan
3: PINA ((Public International News Ariddia) From Ariddia
5: WXET (X-Media Channel) from X-Media, Lurikastan
13: FTV (Fetish Television) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
17: TOGC (The Old Guy Channel) From Gwaine
19: DTV (Dallas Television) From Jeruselem
21: HGN (Home Gambling Network)
24: CTV (Crime TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
28: DCC: (The Dogs Chasing Cats Channel) From Taeshan
33: TDC (The Drunk Channel) from Gwaine
35: STV Scandal TV from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
42: PDTV (Philosophical Discussion TeleVision)
44: TFC: (The Fireplace Channel) from Kelssek
45: ROTV (Really Old TeleVision)
55: SLC (Speed Limit Channel)
66: PFTV (Prison Fight TeleVision) from X-Media, Lurikastan
69: HCTV (Hardcore Television)
70: QSPN
71: QSPN2
72: QSPNews
73: QSPN Classic
86: ETC (Execution and Torture Channel)
88: VMC (Vending Machine Channel) from Kelssek
89: BOO (Horror TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
98: TBSC (The Ben Stein Channel)
101: QSPN-HD
102: QSPN2-HD
103: QSPNews-HD
104: QSPNClassic-HD
105: QSPN U
106: QSPNHS
107: QSPN International.
108: QSPNOcho-HD
111: SICK (Hospital TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
123: PSN (Pre-School Network)
150: JMB (Joe's Mom's Basement) from Dancougar
247: RICH (Rich Idiots Chastising the Homeless) from Secristan
248: SCAM (Smart Criminals Absconding with Money) From Secristan
269: ZooXXX (Freaky animal sex Channel) from X-Media, Lurikastan
389: LOL (Laugh-Out-Loud) from Media Board of The UHI, United Hetzel
420: MJ-TV (Marijuana Television)
434: ELHT (Everyone Loves Hypno-Toad) from X-Media, Lurikastan
500: SPDW (SPeeDWay) from Media Board of The UHI, United Hetzel
666: SATaN (Satanist Atheist Television Network)
741: ANI (Animated Network International)
747: AVIA (AVIAtion Channel) from Media Board of The UHI, United Hetzel
756: BBN (Barry Bonds Network)
777: HGN2 (Home Gambling Network 2)
803: PDC (The Paint Drying Channel)
888: QSPNOcho
999: FuTV (Future TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
1000: AAN (All Archeology Network)

Disclaimer: Q-DISH Network costs $500.00 a day, or $17,000 a month or $230,000 a year. Contract for Q-DISH Network is a standard 25-year contract with a $5,000,000 cancellation fee. Cancel for free at anytime between 12:01am and 11:59pm on February 30th. Offer not valid in The Archregimancy. If bleeding from the eyes occurs, go to a doctor dumbass. Contents may have shifted due to crosswinds. If anal leakage occurs, stop using product until leakage stops.

Check out our new website! (Only costs you $0.10 per second to view!) (http://wikistates.outwardhosting.com/wiki/Q-DISH_Network)

UPDATE: New special Pricing for New subcribers from October 1st to December 31st. Q-DISH Network will cost you only $1.11 a minute!

Coming Soon to Q-DISH NETWORK!
New Channels and Programs, for your displeasure!


Channel 3.1415...: CSTV (Circles and Spheres TV) A channel devoted to anything to do with Crop Circles, Traffic Circles, Coins, Balls, Spheres,... you get the idea. From 8:00 pm to 9:00 pm daily, a live show of a man reciting the digits of pi.

Channel 62: SCN (Security Camera Network) 24/7 coverage of various Security Cameras from stores around the world. (Note: Channel may at times have any or all of the following: Sex, Shootings, Robberies, Shoplifting, Nudity, Foul Languange)

Channel 63: TBON (The Bill O'Reilly Network) You know him from the RLUnivesre's Fox News Channel now he has a 24hr channel devoted to his rants, and other things Bill O'Reilly. (Note: This channel may induce the following symtoms: Vomiting, Diarrhea of the mouth, Dropped Jaw Syndrome and the urge to Kill Bill O'Reilly, please consult with your doctor before viewing.)

Channel 64: TABON (The Anti-Bill O'Reilly Network) In response to having TBON, we offer TABON, with shows devoted to debunking and counter-pointing Bill O'Reilly's rants. (Note: This channel also may induce the following symtoms: Vomiting, Diarrhea of the mouth, Dropped Jaw Syndrome and the urge to Kill Bill O'Reilly, please consult with your doctor before viewing.)

Channel 100: CUBSTV Showing 100 years of Chicago Cubs Baseball games, played 24-7, with daily showings of: Game 6 of the 2003 NLCS (the Bartman Game), the 1945 World Series, the 1984 NLCS, and other "highlights" of their 100-years of World Series futility.

After a 7 year shut-down due to the 3rd Qazox Civil War and the Q-continuum War, The Q-DISH Network Is back open for business!

Current Q-DISH Network Channels as of January 17th of whatever year it is in your country:
(Italics are other Countries Networks)
(Bold are Premium Channels.. Only an extra $250.00 a Month or or $50,000 a year! )
(New Channels (added since last Q-DN update) are in RED!)


√-1: GEEK TV (Geeky Things TeleVision) From Jeruselem
√x: TEC (The Equation Channel) from Gwaine
0: STUPID (Silly Things, Ugly Peons and International Dumbasses)
1: CHAW (C Hillbillies At Work)
2: CMB: (The Cheese, Meat and Beer Channel) From Taeshan
3: PINA ((Public International News Ariddia) From Ariddia
3.1415...: CSTV (Circles and Spheres TV)
5: WXET (X-Media Channel) from X-Media, Lurikastan
13: FTV (Fetish Television) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
17: TOGC (The Old Guy Channel) From Gwaine
19: DTV (Dallas Television) From Jeruselem
21: HGN (Home Gambling Network)
24: CTV (Crime TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden

33: TDC (The Drunk Channel) from Gwaine
35: STV Scandal TV from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
42: PDTV (Philosophical Discussion TeleVision)
44: TFC: (The Fireplace Channel) from Kelssek
45: ROTV (Really Old TeleVision)
55: SLC (Speed Limit Channel)
62: SCN (Security Camera Network)
63: TBON (The Bill O'Reilly Network)
64: TABON (The Anti-Bill O'Reilly Network)
66: PFTV (Prison Fight TeleVision) from X-Media, Lurikastan
69: HCTV (Hardcore Television)
70: QSPN
71: QSPN2
72: QSPNews
73: QSPN Classic
86: ETC (Execution and Torture Channel)
88: VMC (Vending Machine Channel) from Kelssek
89: BOO (Horror TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
98: TBSC (The Ben Stein Channel)
100: CUBSTV
101: QSPN-HD
102: QSPN2-HD
103: QSPNews-HD
104: QSPNClassic-HD
105: QSPN U
106: QSPNHS
107: QSPN International.
108: QSPNOcho-HD
111: SICK (Hospital TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
123: PSN (Pre-School Network)
150: JMB (Joe's Mom's Basement) from Dancougar
247: RICH (Rich Idiots Chastising the Homeless) from Secristan
248: SCAM (Smart Criminals Absconding with Money) From Secristan
[I]269: ZooXXX (Freaky animal sex Channel) from X-Media, Lurikastan
389: LOL (Laugh-Out-Loud) from Media Board of The UHI, United Hetzel
420: MJ-TV (Marijuana Television)
434: ELHT (Everyone Loves Hypno-Toad) from X-Media, Lurikastan
500: SPDW (SPeeDWay) from Media Board of The UHI, United Hetzel
666: SATaN (Satanist Atheist Television Network)
741: ANI (Animated Network International)
747: AVIA (AVIAtion Channel) from Media Board of The UHI, United Hetzel
756: BBN (Barry Bonds Network)
777: HGN2 (Home Gambling Network 2)
803: PDC (The Paint Drying Channel)
888: QSPNOcho
999: FuTV (Future TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
1000: AAN (All Archeology Network)

Disclaimer: Q-DISH Network costs $500.00 a day, or $17,000 a month or $230,000 a year. Contract for Q-DISH Network is a standard 25-year contract with a $5,000,000 cancellation fee. Cancel for free at anytime between 12:01am and 11:59pm on February 30th. Offer not valid in The Archregimancy. If bleeding from the eyes occurs, go to a doctor dumbass. Contents may have shifted due to crosswinds. If anal leakage occurs, stop using product until leakage stops.

Check out our new website! (Only costs you $0.10 per second to view!) (http://wikistates.outwardhosting.com/wiki/Q-DISH_Network)

UPDATE: New special Pricing for New subcribers from January 17th to Smarch 1st. Q-DISH Network will cost you only $1.23 a minute!

(ooc: Come on people, I got another 937 channels to fill!)

Coming Soon to Q-DISH NETWORK!
New Channels for your viewing displeasure!

Channel 16: 0-16 TV A channel dedicated to showing every game of the 2008 Detroit Lions' season on an endless tape-loop. On the 14th of every month, a tape-loop of the 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers' season is shown, as a mercy gesture.
(Note: This channel may cause in Lions Fans the following Symtoms: The urge to kill Matt Millen, the urge to kill your spouse, the urge to kill any member of the 2008 Lions, the urge to kill yourself and/or wearing a paper bag over your head. For all other football fans this channel may cause the following symtom: Uncontrollable laughter)


Channel 23: C-PUN (Conspiracy, Paranoia and UFO Network)
At last a channel that will tell you once and for all if that squirrel in your neighbor's yard is really a squirrel or a robot sent to spy on you from the CIA! Daily programming includes: JFK Daily, Alien Talk, and Diciphering CIA messages embedded in your Alpha-Bits.
(WARNING: CIA Operatives, the Greys, MIB, or Majestic-12 may or may not be watching you as you watch this channel.)

Channel 57: TCN (The Condiment Network)
A channel dedicated to ketchup/catsup, mustard, salsa, hot sauce, mayonaise and every other condiment in the world. A daily show "1,000,001 uses for Ketchup, hosted by Gordon Ramsey" will explore the miilion and one uses for ketchup in cooking. On Saturday nights, a Spanish version "10,001 uses for Salsa, hosted by Gordon Ramsey" is shown.

Channel 222: TTV (Twin Television)
A channel for twins! Featuring shows on how to look alike, how not to look alike, and how to create your own secret twin language! Also includes any show that ever involved the Olsen Twins.
(Note: Only twins, and other multiple-birth children can see this channel clearly, non-twins will only see static. Fraternal twins may see static, if they are not watching the channel at the same time.)

Current Q-DISH Network Channels as of January 23rd of whatever year it is in your country:
(Italics are other Countries Networks)
(Bold are Premium Channels.. Only an extra $250.00 a Month or or $50,000 a year! )
(New Channels (added since last Q-DN update) are in RED!)


√-1: GEEK TV (Geeky Things TeleVision) From Jeruselem
√x: TEC (The Equation Channel) from Gwaine
0: STUPID (Silly Things, Ugly Peons and International Dumbasses)
1: CHAW (C Hillbillies At Work)
2: CMB: (The Cheese, Meat and Beer Channel) From Taeshan
3: PINA ((Public International News Ariddia) From Ariddia
3.1415...: CSTV (Circles and Spheres TV)
5: WXET (X-Media Channel) from X-Media, Lurikastan
8: QBS (Qazox Broadcasting Station)
9: QBC (Qazox Broadcast Channel)
10: QOX (Qazox OvereXposure TV)
13: FTV (Fetish Television) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
16: 0-16 TV
17: TOGC (The Old Guy Channel) From Gwaine
19: DTV (Dallas Television) From Jeruselem
21: HGN (Home Gambling Network)
23: C-PUN (Conspiracy, Paranoia and UFO Network)
24: CTV (Crime TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
28: DCC (The Dogs Chasing Cats Channel) From Taeshan
33: TDC (The Drunk Channel) from Gwaine
35: STV (Scandal TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
42: PDTV (Philosophical Discussion TeleVision)
44: TFC: (The Fireplace Channel) from Kelssek
45: ROTV (Really Old TeleVision)
55: SLC (Speed Limit Channel)
57: TCN (The Condiment Network)
62: SCN (Security Camera Network)
63: TBON (The Bill O'Reilly Network)
64: TABON (The Anti-Bill O'Reilly Network)
66: PFTV (Prison Fight TeleVision) from X-Media, Lurikastan
69: HCTV (Hardcore Television)
70: QSPN
71: QSPN2
72: QSPNews
73: QSPN Classic
74: MSQBC (MicroSoft/QBC)
75: BQBC (Business-QBC)
76: QSN (QOX Sports Network)
77: QSN2 (QOX Sports Network 2)
78: QNC (QOX News Channel)
86: ETC (Execution and Torture Channel)
88: VMC (Vending Machine Channel) from Kelssek
89: BOO (Horror TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
98: TBSC (The Ben Stein Channel)
100: CUBSTV
101: QSPN-HD
102: QSPN2-HD
103: QSPNews-HD
104: QSPNClassic-HD
105: QSPN U (College Sports)
106: QSPNHS (High School Sports)
107: QSPN International.
108: QSPNOcho-HD
111: SICK (Hospital TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
123: PSN (Pre-School Network)
150: JMB (Joe's Mom's Basement) from Dancougar
201: QBC-HD
202: QBS-HD
203: QOX-HD
204: QSN-HD
205: QSN2-HD
206: QNC-HD
222: TTV (Twin Television)
247: RICH (Rich Idiots Chastising the Homeless) from Secristan
248: SCAM (Smart Criminals Absconding with Money) From Secristan
269: ZooXXX (Freaky animal sex Channel) from X-Media, Lurikastan
389: LOL (Laugh-Out-Loud) from Media Board of The UHI, United Hetzel
420: MJ-TV (Marijuana Television)
434: ELHT (Everyone Loves Hypno-Toad) from X-Media, Lurikastan
500: SPDW (SPeeDWay) from Media Board of The UHI, United Hetzel
666: SATaN (Satanist Atheist Television Network)
741: ANI (Animated Network International)
747: AVIA (AVIAtion Channel) from Media Board of The UHI, United Hetzel
756: BBN (Barry Bonds Network)
777: HGN2 (Home Gambling Network 2)
803: PDC (The Paint Drying Channel)
804: PDC-HD
888: QSPNOcho
999: FuTV (Future TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
1000: AAN (All Archeology Network)

Disclaimer: Q-DISH Network costs $500.00 a day, or $17,000 a month or $230,000 a year. Contract for Q-DISH Network is a standard 25-year contract with a $5,000,000 cancellation fee. Cancel for free at anytime between 12:01am and 11:59pm on February 30th. Offer not valid in The Archregimancy. If bleeding from the eyes occurs, go to a doctor dumbass. Contents may have shifted due to crosswinds. If anal leakage occurs, stop using product until leakage stops.

Check out our new website! (Only costs you $0.10 per second to view!) (http://wikistates.outwardhosting.com/wiki/Q-DISH_Network)

UPDATE#1: New special Pricing for New subcribers from January 1st to Smarch 31st. Q-DISH Network will cost you only $1.23 a minute!

UPDATE#2: After Smarch 1st, every High-Defintion channel is availble only with an Q-DISH HD converter (Only an additional $49.99 a month!)

UPDATE#3: Afte 13 years of legal wrangling, pay-offs and 39hours of waterboarding, the following channels, promised to begin broadcasting 13 years ago:

Channel 482: GTATV (Grand Theft Auto TeleVision)
Not to be confused with the succesful video game franchise, GTATV shows unedited home videos of Cars being stolen around the world. Tune in on Tuesday Nights at 8:00 for Chop Shop News, a round table disscussion with local Chop Shop owners on topics from current trends in parts to how to disable car alarms.
Disclaimer: Sunday Mornings from 6:00 am to 11:00 am are dedicated to videos of people playing GTA IV.

Channel 321: BLAST (Blasting, Lasers, Archenemies and Spies Television)
Finally a channel dedicated to the wanna-be Mad Scientist! Featuring a Daily call-in show from 2pm til 6pm with our resident Mad Doctors, Dr. Atomic and Professor Fallout, where any and all topics can be covered from how to find plutonium to finding decent henchmen. This Channel also contains the international hit: LAIRS, where each week, our inept henchman, #3 visits a different lair each week!
Warning: Allowing LAIRS to visit your lair, may result in any of the follwing: A visit from the UN, an attack by your archenemy and accidental destruction of your lair. Contact #3 at your own risk.
Will be available on February 1st. We here at Q-DISH Network apologize for the delay and to any subcribers who did subscribe 13 years ago for these channels will receive them free-of-charge for 13 months or receive a free HD-Coverter. We apologize again for any inconvience this may have caused


(ooc: Come on people, I only have another 916 channels to fill!)
(ooc2: yay! this is the 20th most viewed thread in this forum!)

Iglesian Archipelago gladly welcomes the Q-Dish television network! Also, can you permit that Iglésias TV, the biggest TV company pf the Iglesian Archipelago, broadcasts IGTV Internacional (the IGTV worldwide channel, also called IGTV International)?

Signed,
The President of the Iglesian Archipelago.

Iglesian Archipelago gladly welcomes the Q-Dish television network! Also, can you permit that Iglésias TV, the biggest TV company pf the Iglesian Archipelago, broadcasts IGTV Internacional (the IGTV worldwide channel, also called IGTV International)?

Signed,
The President of the Iglesian Archipelago.

Dear President of the Iglesian Archipelago:
From: Q-DISH Network Lead Programmer I.M. Crazy
RE: IGTV

Your excellency, we are humbled that your nation uses Q-DISH Network as the primary satellite network in Iglesian Archipelago. We would also be honored to carry IGTVInternational on our network. Would the usual 50-50 revenue split be acceptable? (if not, we can work something out) However, the earliest we can begin broadcasting IGTV wold be Smarch 1st, when our HD-feeds are next due to be updated.

We thank you again for choosing Q-DISH Network, the best Satellite TV Network in the NSUniverse.

Dear President of the Iglesian Archipelago:
From: Q-DISH Network Lead Programmer I.M. Crazy
RE: IGTV

Your excellency, we are humbled that your nation uses Q-DISH Network as the primary satellite network in Iglesian Archipelago. We would also be honored to carry IGTVInternational on our network. Would the usual 50-50 revenue split be acceptable? (if not, we can work something out) However, the earliest we can begin broadcasting IGTV wold be Smarch 1st, when our HD-feeds are next due to be updated.

We thank you again for choosing Q-DISH Network, the best Satellite TV Network in the NSUniverse.

Yes, the 50-50 revenue split is acceptable.

So, see you [IGTV] in the 1st March, 2009!

Yes, the 50-50 revenue split is acceptable.

So, see you [IGTV] in the 1st March, 2009!

(ooc: Its on SMARCH 1ST, not March 1st! LOL (ooc2: Qazox uses a 13-month calander, and Smarch is between March and April))

Ok.

FROM: X-Media
To: Q-DISH

Heres 2 more channels we'd like you to add.

IHTP Ch. 453 Continous coverage of the indian head test pattern. LIVE!!!!


SexyCLB ch: 54 a slutty chearleaders bedroom. Lots of excitement.... 24/7 LIVE!!!

FROM: X-Media
To: Q-DISH

Heres 2 more channels we'd like you to add.

IHTP Ch. 453 Continous coverage of the indian head test pattern. LIVE!!!!


SexyCLB ch: 54 a slutty chearleaders bedroom. Lots of excitement.... 24/7 LIVE!!!


IHTP: No thank you.
SexyCLB: That's covered by both HCTV (Hardcore Television) and DTV (Dallas Television).

COMING FEBURARY 1, 1948 to Q-DISH NETWORK:

KBC1
KBC SPORTS
Newsworld

All three channels are from one of our new partners, the Kelssek Broadcasting Company. As per agreement with the KBC, these channels will be part of the basic package (only $230,000 a year!) startin at 12:01 am on February 1st, 1948. Also starting on February 1st, 1948; but at 12:01 pm, on the same package will be IGTV Internacional from Iglesian Archipelago Television. With these new channels, Q-DISH Network will now have 3 of the largest international news channels, (the third being PINA, Public International News Ariddia) and along with the QSPN family of networks and KBC Sports, almost every sport from around the NSUniverse will be available to be seen 24/7. However, due to the contracts for these channels, on March 1st, some channels may be moved to different channel numbers. We will strive to give our customers as much advance notice as to the new channel numbers for the channels being effected.

We here at Q-DN are constantly striving to bring new channels and more international channels into our network. If there is a channel that we do not currently carry, and you believe we should, call our toll-free* number 1-777-034-7469 or visit our website: Q-DishNetwork.com (http://wikistates.outwardhosting.com/wiki/Q-DISH_Network) and tell us about it.
*Toll Free only from 11:59:59pm to 12:00:01am daily
(OOC note: Please don't add your stations to the Q-Dish Network wikipage... add them on this thread, thank you!)

Current Q-DISH Network Channels as of February 1st of whatever year it is in your country:
(Italics are other Countries Networks)
(Bold are Premium Channels.. Only an extra $250.00 a Month or or $50,000 a year! )
(New Channels (added since last Q-DN update) are in RED!)

NOTE TO SUBCRIBERS: Channels in Green have changed their Channel Number since the last update.

√-1: GEEK TV (Geeky Things TeleVision) From Jeruselem
√x: TEC (The Equation Channel) from Gwaine
0: STUPID (Silly Things, Ugly Peons and International Dumbasses)
1: CHAW (C Hillbillies At Work)
2: CMB: (The Cheese, Meat and Beer Channel) From Taeshan
3: PINA ((Public International News Ariddia) From Ariddia
3.1415...: CSTV (Circles and Spheres TV)
5: WXET (X-Media Channel) from X-Media, Lurikastan
8: QBS (Qazox Broadcasting Station)
9: QBC (Qazox Broadcast Channel)
10: QOX (Qazox OvereXposure TV)
13: FTV (Fetish Television) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
16: 0-16 TV
17: TOGC (The Old Guy Channel) From Gwaine
19: DTV (Dallas Television) From Jeruselem
21: HGN (Home Gambling Network)
23: C-PUN (Conspiracy, Paranoia and UFO Network)
24: CTV (Crime TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
28: DCC (The Dogs Chasing Cats Channel) From Taeshan
30: KBC1 from Kelssek Broadcasting Channel, Kelssek
31: KBCSports from Kelssek Broadcasting Channel, Kelssek
32: Newsworld (from Kelssek Broadcasting Channel, Kelssek
33: IGTV Internacional from Iglesian Archipelago Television, Iglesian Archipelago
42: PDTV (Philosophical Discussion TeleVision)
44: TFC: (The Fireplace Channel) from Kelssek
45: ROTV (Really Old TeleVision)
53: TDC (The Drunk Channel) from Gwaine
54: STV (Scandal TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
55: SLC (Speed Limit Channel)
57: TCN (The Condiment Network)
62: SCN (Security Camera Network)
63: TBON (The Bill O'Reilly Network)
64: TABON (The Anti-Bill O'Reilly Network)
66: PFTV (Prison Fight TeleVision) from X-Media, Lurikastan
69: HCTV (Hardcore Television)
70: QSPN
71: QSPN2
72: QSPNews
73: QSPN Classic
74: MSQBC (MicroSoft/QBC)
75: BQBC (Business-QBC)
76: QSN (QOX Sports Network)
77: QSN2 (QOX Sports Network 2)
78: QNC (QOX News Channel)
86: ETC (Execution and Torture Channel)
88: VMC (Vending Machine Channel) from Kelssek
89: BOO (Horror TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
98: TBSC (The Ben Stein Channel)
100: CUBSTV
101: QSPN-HD
102: QSPN2-HD
103: QSPNews-HD
104: QSPNClassic-HD
105: QSPN U (College Sports)
106: QSPNHS (High School Sports)
107: QSPN International.
108: QSPNOcho-HD
111: SICK (Hospital TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
123: PSN (Pre-School Network)
150: JMB (Joe's Mom's Basement) from Dancougar
201: QBC-HD
202: QBS-HD
203: QOX-HD
204: QSN-HD
205: QSN2-HD
206: QNC-HD
222: TTV (Twin Television)
247: RICH (Rich Idiots Chastising the Homeless) from Secristan
248: SCAM (Smart Criminals Absconding with Money) From Secristan
269: ZooXXX (Freaky animal sex Channel) from X-Media, Lurikastan
301: KBC1-HD
302: KBCSports-HD
303: Newsworld-HD
321: BLAST (Blasting, Lasers, Archenemies and Spies Television)
389: LOL (Laugh-Out-Loud) from Media Board of The UHI, United Hetzel
420: MJ-TV (Marijuana Television)
434: ELHT (Everyone Loves Hypno-Toad) from X-Media, Lurikastan
482: GTATV (Grand Theft Auto TeleVision)
500: SPDW (SPeeDWay) from Media Board of The UHI, United Hetzel
666: SATaN (Satanist Atheist Television Network)
741: ANI (Animated Network International)
747: AVIA (AVIAtion Channel) from Media Board of The UHI, United Hetzel
756: BBN (Barry Bonds Network)
777: HGN2 (Home Gambling Network 2)
803: PDC (The Paint Drying Channel)
804: PDC-HD
888: QSPNOcho
999: FuTV (Future TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
1000: AAN (All Archeology Network)

Disclaimer: Q-DISH Network costs $500.00 a day, or $17,000 a month or $230,000 a year. Contract for Q-DISH Network is a standard 25-year contract with a $5,000,000 cancellation fee. Cancel for free at anytime between 12:01am and 11:59pm on February 30th. Offer not valid in The Archregimancy. If bleeding from the eyes occurs, go to a doctor dumbass. Contents may have shifted due to crosswinds. If anal leakage occurs, stop using product until leakage stops.

Check out our new website! (Only costs you $0.10 per second to view!) (http://wikistates.outwardhosting.com/wiki/Q-DISH_Network)

UPDATE#1: New special Pricing for New subcribers from January 1st to Smarch 31st. Q-DISH Network will cost you only $1.23 a minute!

UPDATE#2: After Smarch 1st, every High-Defintion channel is availble only with an Q-DISH HD converter (Only an additional $49.99 a month!)


(ooc: Come on people, I only have another 911 channels to fill!)
(ooc2: yay! this is now the 18thmost viewed thread in this forum!)

Coming Soon to Q-DISH NETWORK!
New Channels and Programs, for your displeasure!

Channel 911: PSTV (Protect & Serve TV)
A channel dedicated to Policemen, Firemen, EMT's and other Emerency Responders. Features re-runs of: Cop Rock, Hawaii 5-0, COPS, NYPD Blue and other Cop related shows on Saturday Nights from 7:00pm-midnight. A Live Call-in show every weeknight from 8:00pm-9:30pm features talks with local Policemen, Firemen, EMT's and other Emerency Responders. On Sundays a 5-minute listing of the TOP TEN Most Wanted Criminals from various nations will be broadcast every half-hour.

Channel 619: LLC (Lucha-Libre Canal)
Un canal en la que figura Lucha-Libre por todo el mundo.
(English Translation: the Lucha-Libre Channel. A Channel featuring Lucha-Libre from around the world)
Caution: May cause the following results: increased spending at your local Burrito King restaurant, the urge to do a 540-moonsault upon your neighbor, and fastspeaking

Channel 4: H.A.C.C. (Havok, Anarchy, and Chaos Creation)
Ever wonder how to start a riot? Or wonder how to pull off a convinicing cons? Or even how to hack into the office computer to give yourself that $100.00/hr raise you deserve? Well then watch H.A.C.C.
Legal Warning: Q-DISH Network and H.A.C.C. assume no responsiblity for the following: imprisionment, fines, legal actions. A disclaimer is run before each show declaring that actual use of any method taught during the show, is illegal and the techniques shown are for informative and entertainment purposes only.

Channel 80: BMC (Bootlegged Movie Channel)
Remember when you had to wait 5-6 months after a movie came out in theaters to buy the DVD or see it on Pay-Per-View? Well no longer! BMC will show you movies that came out with-in the last 24-hours! In some cases, even before your local movie theater has a copy! Not to mention our Monthlong Snuff Film Festival in June! Warning: Most of the Movies shown will have poor video quality, do not adjust your set.

Current Q-DISH Network Channels as of March 5th of whatever year it is in your country:
(Italics are other Countries Networks)
(Bold are Premium Channels.. Only an extra $250.00 a Month or or $50,000 a year! )
(New Channels (added since the last Q-DN update) are in RED!)


√-1: GEEK TV (Geeky Things TeleVision) From Jeruselem
√x: TEC (The Equation Channel) from Gwaine
0: STUPID (Silly Things, Ugly Peons and International Dumbasses)
1: CHAW (C Hillbillies At Work)
2: CMB: (The Cheese, Meat and Beer Channel) From Taeshan
3: PINA ((Public International News Ariddia) From Ariddia
3.1415...: CSTV (Circles and Spheres TV)
4: H.A.C.C. (Havok, Anarchy, and Chaos Creation)
5: WXET (X-Media Channel) from X-Media, Lurikastan
8: QBS (Qazox Broadcasting Station)
9: QBC (Qazox Broadcast Channel)
10: QOX (Qazox OvereXposure TV)
13: FTV (Fetish Television) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
16: 0-16 TV
17: TOGC (The Old Guy Channel) From Gwaine
19: DTV (Dallas Television) From Jeruselem
21: HGN (Home Gambling Network)
23: C-PUN (Conspiracy, Paranoia and UFO Network)
24: CTV (Crime TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
28: DCC (The Dogs Chasing Cats Channel) From Taeshan
30: KBC1 from Kelssek Broadcasting Channel, Kelssek
31: KBCSports from Kelssek Broadcasting Channel, Kelssek
32: Newsworld (from Kelssek Broadcasting Channel, Kelssek
33: IGTV Internacional from Iglesian Archipelago Television, Iglesian Archipelago
42: PDTV (Philosophical Discussion TeleVision)
44: TFC: (The Fireplace Channel) from Kelssek
45: ROTV (Really Old TeleVision)
53: TDC (The Drunk Channel) from Gwaine
54: STV (Scandal TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
55: SLC (Speed Limit Channel)
57: TCN (The Condiment Network)
62: SCN (Security Camera Network)
63: TBON (The Bill O'Reilly Network)
64: TABON (The Anti-Bill O'Reilly Network)
66: PFTV (Prison Fight TeleVision) from X-Media, Lurikastan
69: HCTV (Hardcore Television)
70: QSPN
71: QSPN2
72: QSPNews
73: QSPN Classic
74: MSQBC (MicroSoft/QBC)
75: BQBC (Business-QBC)
76: QSN (QOX Sports Network)
77: QSN2 (QOX Sports Network 2)
78: QNC (QOX News Channel)
80: BMC (Bootlegged Movie Channel)
86: ETC (Execution and Torture Channel)
88: VMC (Vending Machine Channel) from Kelssek
89: BOO (Horror TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
98: TBSC (The Ben Stein Channel)
100: CUBSTV
101: QSPN-HD
102: QSPN2-HD
103: QSPNews-HD
104: QSPNClassic-HD
105: QSPN U (College Sports)
106: QSPNHS (High School Sports)
107: QSPN International.
108: QSPNOcho-HD
111: SICK (Hospital TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
123: PSN (Pre-School Network)
150: JMB (Joe's Mom's Basement) from Dancougar
201: QBC-HD
202: QBS-HD
203: QOX-HD
204: QSN-HD
205: QSN2-HD
206: QNC-HD
222: TTV (Twin Television)
247: RICH (Rich Idiots Chastising the Homeless) from Secristan
248: SCAM (Smart Criminals Absconding with Money) From Secristan
269: ZooXXX (Freaky animal sex Channel) from X-Media, Lurikastan
301: KBC1-HD
302: KBCSports-HD
303: Newsworld-HD
321: BLAST (Blasting, Lasers, Archenemies and Spies Television)
389: LOL (Laugh-Out-Loud) from Media Board of The UHI, United Hetzel
420: MJ-TV (Marijuana Television)
434: ELHT (Everyone Loves Hypno-Toad) from X-Media, Lurikastan
482: GTATV (Grand Theft Auto TeleVision)
500: SPDW (SPeeDWay) from Media Board of The UHI, United Hetzel
619: LLC (Lucha-Libre Canal)
666: SATaN (Satanist Atheist Television Network)
741: ANI (Animated Network International)
747: AVIA (AVIAtion Channel) from Media Board of The UHI, United Hetzel
756: BBN (Barry Bonds Network)
777: HGN2 (Home Gambling Network 2)
803: PDC (The Paint Drying Channel)
804: PDC-HD
888: QSPNOcho
911: PSTV (Protect & Serve TV)
999: FuTV (Future TV) from Companne Medio Speziale, Brutland and Norden
1000: AAN (All Archeology Network)

Disclaimer: Q-DISH Network costs $500.00 a day, or $17,000 a month or $230,000 a year. Contract for Q-DISH Network is a standard 25-year contract with a $5,000,000 cancellation fee. Cancel for free at anytime between 12:01am and 11:59pm on February 30th. Offer not valid in The Archregimancy. If bleeding from the eyes occurs, go to a doctor dumbass. Contents may have shifted due to crosswinds. If anal leakage occurs, stop using product until leakage stops.

Check out our new website! (Only costs you $0.10 per second to view!) (http://wikistates.outwardhosting.com/wiki/Q-DISH_Network)


(ooc: Come on people, I only have another 907 channels to fill!)

To: Q-Dish
From: Advisor of Media to the Queendom of Beirut Angeles

Greetings! What amazing programming you have! Her Majesty, Queen Farah, is quite a fan of STUPID, TABON, and MJ-TV. It is at our request, that we dissolve our own national television service and solely use your service as our provider. However, in order for our people to be properly informed, they must have access to the BABC channel (to receive their national news). If this cannot be accommodated, we must respectfully take back our proposal and wish you continued success.

In good faith, the following is a list of our currently most popular channels. We have found great success in them and would like to offer them to you as possible suggestions.

CAB- Constant coverage of a Cabaret bar/show where ANYONE can (and does) drop in, chaos and comedy always ensues.
VEG- A channel for lazy Vegetarians.
DQTV- Drag Queen TV, Drag Queens sassily commenting on culture.
WBDC- World's Best Dance Crew. Dance Crews from all over the world continuously battling for world domination.

and of course:

BABC- Beirut Angeles Broadcasting Company- News, Events, Music, Comedy, Entertainment and Programming from the nation of Beirut Angeles, 24 hours a day.

Thank you,
Bin, Advisor of Media to the Queendom of Beirut Angeles

To: Q-Dish
From: Advisor of Media to the Queendom of Beirut Angeles

Greetings! What amazing programming you have! Her Majesty, Queen Farah, is quite a fan of STUPID, TABON, and MJ-TV. It is at our request, that we dissolve our own national television service and solely use your service as our provider. However, in order for our people to be properly informed, they must have access to the BABC channel (to receive their national news). If this cannot be accommodated, we must respectfully take back our proposal and wish you continued success.

In good faith, the following is a list of our currently most popular channels. We have found great success in them and would like to offer them to you as possible suggestions.

CAB- Constant coverage of a Cabaret bar/show where ANYONE can (and does) drop in, chaos and comedy always ensues.
VEG- A channel for lazy Vegetarians.
DQTV- Drag Queen TV, Drag Queens sassily commenting on culture.
WBDC- World's Best Dance Crew. Dance Crews from all over the world continuously battling for world domination.

and of course:

BABC- Beirut Angeles Broadcasting Company- News, Events, Music, Comedy, Entertainment and Programming from the nation of Beirut Angeles, 24 hours a day.

Thank you,
Bin, Advisor of Media to the Queendom of Beirut Angeles

To: Advisor of Media to the Queendom of Beirut Angeles
From: Q-DISH Network Lead Programmer I.M. Crazy

Of the channels you offer, We of course will accept BABC- Beirut Angeles Broadcasting Company in exchange (for a some one-time fee of $50,000) for being you nations' satellite provider.

Of the other channels you are offering, we will accept the following:
CAB- Constant coverage of a Cabaret bar/show where ANYONE can (and does) drop in, chaos and comedy always ensues.
DQTV- Drag Queen TV.
WBDC- World's Best Dance Crew.

Unfortunately due to licensing agreements, Only PDC (The Paint Drying Channel) and PDC-HD are allowed as "vegan" channels.

Your stations shall be uploaded by 4-1-whateveryearitisinyourcountry.

To: Q-DISH Network Lead Programmer I.M. Crazy
From: Advisor of Media to the Queendom of Beirut

We gladly accept and diligently send the requested fee of $50,000. I offer one idea for the taking or leaving. Veganism (or Vegan, to be Vegan) is the complete absence of all animal products AND ANIMAL BY-PRODCUCTS (such as honey, jello, leather shoes). Vegetarianism (or Vegetarian or to be Vegetarian) is the practice of a diet that excludes meat (including game and slaughter by-products), fish (including shellfish and other sea animals) and poultry (only animal flesh, allowing cheese, eggs, and sometimes even fish). Our country has quite a large Vegetarian population, whilst our cheese industry flourishes (as well as wine and olives, Beirut Angles is located in the Mediterranean region).

To: Advisor of Media to the Queendom of Beirut Angeles
From: Q-DISH Network Lead Programmer I.M. Crazy

Of the channels you offer, We of course will accept BABC- Beirut Angeles Broadcasting Company in exchange (for a some one-time fee of $50,000) for being you nations' satellite provider.

Of the other channels you are offering, we will accept the following:
CAB- Constant coverage of a Cabaret bar/show where ANYONE can (and does) drop in, chaos and comedy always ensues.
DQTV- Drag Queen TV.
WBDC- World's Best Dance Crew.

Unfortunately due to licensing agreements, Only PDC (The Paint Drying Channel) and PDC-HD are allowed as "vegan" channels.

Your stations shall be uploaded by 4-1-whateveryearitisinyourcountry.

We would like to offer two up

PSTV-PlayStation TV PS talk all day every day
PWCC-The Pornstars Wearing Clothes Channel
CBC-The Coach Blowups Channel
BTV-Bathroom TV
CNN-The Communism Network taking a deep look into Taeshani Communism

NO to BTV Bathroom channel (didn't I say that already)
NO to PWCC The Pornstars Wearing Clothes Channel (not interesting enough)
NO to CNN-The Communism Network (We're capitalists)
Yes to PSTV-PlayStation TV (would you mind if it was the VGN (Video Game Network?])
Maybe to CBC-The Coach Blowups Channel (though QSPN Classic carries most of them)

THIS THREAD IS DECEASED.

It is no more!