NationStates Jolt Archive

Welcome to Quakmybush and Bazalonia. This Baptism of Fire will be your first international experience, and it will prepare you for the World Cup.

Groups In Quakmybush
Group A

Turruth Gordur
Quintessence of Dust
Zwangzug
Northern Bettia

Group B

Kelssek
Cesibia
Random toast
Etres Vrais

Groups In Bazalonia
Group C

Croisland
Bartonstein
Altanar
The Aqua Moose

Group D

Schorteskatascansolani
San Monticaz
Estresse Intenso
Houersteinzer

Each team will take on the other teams in their group 2 times.

Fixtures
MD1: 1v2, 3v4
MD2: 2v4, 3v1
MD3: 1v4, 3v2
MD4: 2v1, 4v3
MD5: 4v2, 1v3
MD6: 4v1, 2v3

The first matchday will be scorinated on Wednesday January 31st at 2am GST.

Along with your roster please post an RP permissions box.

Choose My Scorers: Y/N
Godmod Scoring Events: Y/N
Godmod Other Events: Y/N
Hand Out Yellow/Red Cards: Y/N
Injure My Players: Y/N

Thank You and Good Luck to all.

The Following Pamplet has been distributed to all participating FAs in the Baptism of Fire Bazalonian region


Welcome to the Baptism of Fire

We'd like to welcome your nation to the NS World Cup family, the Bazalonian Federation of Soccer Associations (BFSA) and the Bazalonian Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade have worked together and put together a website with alot of helpful information about Bazalonian and it's laws and customs. It can be found by going to www.footballingbazalonia.gov.bz in your favourite web browser.

Here is some information about the Bazalonian stadiums that will be in use during the world cup.

Stadiums

Stadium 1
TeleBaz Stadium, the nations largest and most spectactular piece of sporting archetecture in Fauxhan. A number of Bazalope Statues adorn the stadiums forecourts and facade. It seats an impressive 95 thousand persons and has great facilities for both the spectators as well as fully fitted changing rooms including closed circuit television showing the field and current TV broadcasts.

Stadium 2
SeaBazalope Arena which is in the city of Cantinople boasts a total of 48,000 seats, and will be used for all group matches. Sitting in an ideal location, right in the centre of Cantinople and what seams only metres away from the cities famous beaches the SeaBazalope Arena is certainly a nice place to visit

Stadium 3
Drago Soccer Field(DSF) situated in the city of Drago containing a total of 46,000 seats. The DSF is the only 'field' that is managed by the BFSA. Actually containing a fully equiped stadium around it the DSF has been a sporting institution in Bazalonia for as long as anyone can remember

Stadium 4
Stadium Verona situatied in the idealic city of Hughestown which was founded on a plataeu near an ancient, now dead, Volcano - Mt Hughes, Stadium Verona boasts a 52,000 seat capacity and is the highest major sports field in the nation. Stadium Verona is also a multi-sport stadium that is constantly re-marked to contain whatever sport is comming. So players may get confused. Stadium Verona is sponsored by Verona Inc. Makers of fine quality Bazalonian cars. Check them out.

Stadium 5
Via Voleta Dome was the nations biggest stadium until TeleBaz Stadium and CBBC Dome. It is located in Pinksford and has 62,000 places for the crowd to park their behinds and watch the game. Pinksford is a very frindly town but also have very strict ideas about what is acceptible behaviour. Expect to end up the night in jail if your celebrations get too boistrous.

Stadium 6
Trevton City Enclosed Field as the name suggests is in Trevton city, it contains a total of 33,000 seats and is the only stadium/arena/dome/field that is not directly controlled by the BFSA however Trevton city does a great job at making sure this field is up there with the best that this nation has to offer.

Stadium 7
CBBC Dome in Woolgolga was constructed especially for the Baptism of Fire and was financially supported by the Allanean-based firm Cute Bunny Burgers Corp, which has CBBC markings plastered all over the walls and on the field of this stadium. In addition the Bazalonian arm of the companies security division will be responsible for security once inside any and all stadiums used during the BoF. It contains a total of 81,000 seats and is only outseated by the nations crowning glory of a stadium. The TeleBaz Stadium.

Stadium 8
Georgetown Nova Stadium, 59,000 seating capacity stadium in the highest altitude stadium in Bazalonia. It's cooler and has been known to have snow on it in winter. Bring Warm Clothes.


MD1 Fixtures:

Group C

Croisland vs. Bartonstein @ TeleBaz Stadium
Altanar vs. The Aqua Moose @ SeaBazalope Arena

Group D

Schorteskatascansolani vs. San Monticaz @ Drago Soccer Field
Estresse Intenso vs. Houersteinzer @ Stadium Verona

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/kskfootballjersey.gif http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/kskfootballjersey-away.gif


Pos. Team
Richard Davis GK Capital FC
Petr Zherdek GK Kirkenes FC
Lawrence Feeley GK North York

Mikhail Gobrynin D L/C Clayquot City
Pierre-Luc Dubois D C CF Outineau
Jonathan Hanson D/DM C Arlingsdale Eagles
Francois St. Louis D L Castors de Outineau
Simon Avant D R/C Kirkenes FC
Gordon Symonds D R/C Coquitlam United

Ian Colwyn DM C Coquitlam United
Jean Despatie M C Vickery Jaguars
Sean Birtles M C Pentiction Town
Kenneth Regehr AM R Mazinaw Stallions
Kyle Anderson M L SC Saint-Remy
Charles Fletcher AM L Capital FC
Dennis Hartraft M C Castors de Outineau
Vincent Arsenault AM/F C Ulyanov Wolves
Tony Archer AM/F C Kirkenes FC

Ian Sinclair F C SC Saint-Remy
Douglas Crawford F C Clayquot City
Henri Cournoyer F C Langlois Oceanic
Laurent Dubois F L Kirkenes FC


Manager: Mathieu de Jenken
Asst. Manager: Peter Lombardi

Choose My Scorers: Y
Godmod Scoring Events: Y
Godmod Other Events: N
Hand Out Yellow/Red Cards: Y
Injure My Players: Y (you can say he got taken off injured but not specify what)

Zwangzug's starting roster:

#1: Simon Ryne Olson, forward
#4: Phillip Stings, forward
#12: Yul Maughum, forward
#13: Steven Ruck, midfielder
#27: Rube Tercer, defender, captain
#31: Ulysses Stael, midfielder
#42: Anatoly Trumper, goalkeeper
#46: Andrew Card, defender
#50: Roger Hammers, midfielder
#54: Jacob Barons, midfielder
#69: Lawrence Sevvy, defender

The substitutes are..."around".

Choose My Scorers: N
Godmod Scoring Events: N
Godmod Other Events: N
Hand Out Yellow/Red Cards: N
Injure My Players: N

These stadiums are where all matches in Quakmybush will take place.

Quakmybushian Venues

Ruckus Room

Capacity 115,000

The Revena Stadium is the home ground of the Premier League team Revena Ruckus. Depending on the weather, its roof can be opened or closed

Jinkton City Field

Capacity 100,000

Jinkton City Field is located in the coastal town Jinkton City. It is one of the smallest stadiums that will be used for this hosting bid. It has many restaurants in which people can watch the matches.

Cherrywood Stadium

Capacity 134,000

The Cherrywood Stadium (which is incidentally located in Cherrywood) is also used as an American Football, polo, and cricket field. It has a non-drinking section for a more family-friendly environment.

Fort Erie Stadium

Capactiy 181,000

The Fort Erie Stadium is the 2nd largest Quakmybushian stadium that games will be played in. Quakmybush's first-ever international victory happened here.

Xed City Stadium

Capacity 201,000

The Xed City Stadium is the largest stadium in Quakmybush. It will host one semifinal and the 3rd-place playoff (also known as vinali tikira).

Dreton Center

Capacity 10,000

Dreton Center is the smallest stadium with the exception of the Estadije Karela Lines. It is located at the Univesity of Dreton.

Hughes Stadium

Capacity 60,000

The Hughes Stadium is named after the famous Quakmybushian soccer family. It is located in Revena and chosen as one of the venues for matches in group stage.

Quitiz Athletic Center

Capacity 62,600

The Quitiz Athletic Center is located in the city Quitiz. This stadium has a sports bookmaker, here people can bet on all of the games.

The Quintessential squad:

GK
1. Winchester Furman
13. Benjamin Chan
17. Frank Ubermeier

D
3. David Yellowback
4. Guilermo Azzinio
5. Charles Williams
6. Theodore Littlefellow (c)
8. Michel Marberger
14. Robert Robson

M
2. Frederic Renard
7. Peter Rogers
11. Dino Achten
15. Wilhelm Biber
16. Montgomery Mountbatten

F
9. Roger Longhorn
10. Dennis Young
12. Jessica Jensen
18. Benvolio Azzinio

The starting eleven for the first match:
1
Furman

4
Azzinio
8 5
Marberger Williams
3 6
Yellowback Littlefellow

2 7 11
Renard Rogers Achten

9 10
Longhorn Young

(I my crappy spacing is confusing, that is basically 5-3-2, with a sweeper and wingbacks.)
Notes:
- Renard takes corners
- Renard generally takes free-kicks; occasionally Littlefellow, Yellowback or Rogers, depending on position
- Littlefellow and Yellowback take throw-ins where possible
- Longhorn or Rogers generally take penalties

Choose My Scorers: Y
Godmod Scoring Events: Y
Godmod Other Events: Y
Hand Out Yellow/Red Cards: Y
Injure My Players: Y (within reason; nothing completely crippling)

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/turruth_gordur.pngTurruth Gordurhttp://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/turruth_gordur.png

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a371/DUBKansas/TGFA2-5.jpg

Team Manager: Draco Glaurung
Team Coach(s): Gorbag Madril, Dagor Bragollach

Kits:
http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a371/DUBKansas/TurruthGordurHomeAway.jpg

Formation: Turruth Gordur employs a 4-4-2, attack-minded formation.

Players:
GK: Gorbag Madril – 25 – Assegai Developments F.C. (Assegai Developments)
GK: Bartholomew Dalison – 19 – TBA
GK: Mauhúr Muzgash – 23 – TBA

DF: Boldog Gothmog – 26 – S.C. Vagrant Hills (Assegai Developments)
DF: Varg Vikernes – 28 – TBA
DF: Huldah Sangria – 21 – TBA
DF: Ash Nazg – 25 – S.C. Vagrant Hills (Assegai Developments)
DF: Durbah Tulúk – 29 – TBA
DF: Bruna Garvel – 22 – TBA
DF: Sharku Warg – 27 – TBA

MF: Uglúk Dramborleg – 26 – TBA
MF: Shagrat Grishnákh – 31 – TBA
MF: Magda the Forsaken – 18 – TBA
MF: Snaga Lagduf – 30 – TBA
MF: Anglachel Beleg – 23 – TBA
MF: Artok Brocas – 17 – TBA
MF: Ivo Compton – 18 – TBA

AF: Draco Glaurung – 26 – Cathedral Spooks D.C. (Assegai Developments) Captain
AF: Dagor Bragollach – 25 – F.C. Capri (Elves Security Forces)
AF: Barnard Savage – 21 – TBA
AF: Mauhúr Muzgash – 20 – TBA
AF: Enid Bloodcrow – 19 – TBA
AF: Gromper Grîpper – 24 – TBA

Choose My Scorers: N
Godmod Scoring Events: N
Godmod Other Events: N
Hand Out Yellow/Red Cards: Y
Injure My Players: N

Schorteskatascansolani is proud to be in Group D for this Baptism of Fire. A full roster will be posted when the cup proper starts. For now, we have a list of names.

National Squad

GK
Bower
Duke
Brandao
Luhovy
MacCulloch

D
Nioplias
Alexander
Vishnevskij
Verbir
Torpey
Bernard
McPhearson
Salari
Hayward
Shaw
Elmes
Tullie
McAlly
Devold

MF

Giddins
Elliot
Platt
Kapetanopoulos
Prittas
Pasios
Brightwell
Caldwell
Stott
Steen
Zakopal
Fousek
Cameron
Riddell

F

Priest
Bush
MacNaughton
Gilmore
Cornfeld
Ferguson
Kopacka
Vyborny
Tinkler
Hadley
Winterburn
Sturegård

We realize that this is merely a list of all the players who are any good in the whole country. When the cup proper starts we will cut the squad down to 23.

Choose My Scorers: Y
Godmod Scoring Events: N
Godmod Other Events: N
Hand Out Yellow/Red Cards: Y
Injure My Players: Y

Godmodding, if tastefully and not egregiously done, and done in a humorous manner (i.e., a high shot was surely going to go over the goal, but it hit a pelican in flight, hit the goalie on the head, and bounced into the goal) may be done, but it is not preferred, and should not be done more than once a match.

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/kirkenescourier.gif

Football Kelssek ready for a Baptism of Fire

For years Kelssekians have stood by as observers to the mania that frequently grips the immigrant-heavy neighbourhoods of Kirkenes when World Cup time comes around. They sing, they dance, they wave flags and paint their bodies. They engage in debates and sometimes brawls over who's got the better team. Often the native-born wonder if we have missed something terribly significant in hockey or rugby - did we forget to enter the Cherry Cup again? - but no, it's football on the brains of most of the half of this city who were not born in Kelssek, as witness the fifty thousand Ariddians who flooded downtown today to celebrate their victory in Geisenfried.

But now it's time for Kelssek to step up and for once there'll be a single colour all over the Danforth, Kelssekian blue. It's Kelssek's turn to enter the fray as finally, "our" team are going to Quakmybush to contest the Baptism of Fire, a preliminary to the main show of World Cup 33 which will commence hopefully not too soon after the hangovers from the drunken parties of its 32nd iteration have worn off.

There are no million-dollar talents on this team which is essentially a Kelssek Football League all-stars roster. The top-paid one, the playmaking genius Vincent Arsenault of Ulyanov Wolves FC, makes about as much per year as a KHL rookie does per month, and that includes a government professional athlete stipend meant to prevent our sporting talents from starving to death. Some of them are themselves immigrants, like striker Henri Cournoyer, the son of Ariddian parents. But don't underestimate their hunger or desire to prove themselves.

"As a team we have almost no international experience, though some of the team played in the Kaza Olympics," says manager Mathieu de Jenken. The team there scored a remarkable upset over Starblaydia. "Laurent Dubois and Dennis Hartraft must provide the leadership here."

The Baptism of Fire will provide a stage like no other for them to put Kelssek on the map in footballing terms. And they want to make the most of it.

Northern Bettia Squad

Well, here we are folks, the Baptism of Fire. After cruising to victory in the inaugural Fearless League, can Northern Bettia emulate their master nation by winning this prestigious trophy? And if they do, will they NOT emulate Bettia by NOT losing the trophy afterwards?

There's only one way to find out...

Style Modifier

We don't do defence - we trash defence.

Following in the Takilan footsteps of their master nation, Northern Bettia will be playing with as positive a style modifier as possible (+5), utilising a highly attacking 2-5-3 / 2-3-5 formation.

Another thing that must be said about the Fire Ants is that are a right bunch of bloody cheats. Hacking, diving, feigning injury, all sorts of ref-conning activity - Northern Bettia have quickly turned dirty play into a fine art, so expect red cards aplenty on both sides.

And the less said about their loud, rowdy fans, the better....


Roleplaying

If RPing first, the FANB give our opponents permission to RP / godmod pretty much anything they like, especially red cards.



http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y231/bettia/nbet-shirt.gif

Nickname: The Fire Ants
First Kit: Amber shirts with a black sash, black shorts
Second Kit: Sky blue shirts with a dark blue sash, dark blue shorts


(first XI in black)

Goalkeepers:

1. Jon Ozeki - Heart of Anyuna, age 23 - 16 caps
2. Ryno Tashika - Sharluta Strike, age 26 - 5 caps


Defence:

3. Eric Idasenai - Sharluta Strike, age 28 - 20 caps, 1 goal
4. Alex Yoiko - Heart of Anyuna, age 25 - 15 caps
5. Lt. Paul Hanahairo - First Battalion FC, age 28 - 11 caps


Midfield:

6. Dan Kyobu - Kazamusa Town, age 20 - 17 caps, 3 goals
7. Dave Saotama - Raging Bulls Anyuna, age 27 - 14 caps
8. Marcus Megumi - Heart of Anyuna, age 22 - 14 caps
9. Flt. Lt. Ben Sanae - BAF Agetegri, age 18 - 7 caps


Wingers:

10. Sqn. Ldr. Rai Koizumi - BAF Agetegri, age 27 - 20 caps
11. Jon Sakasayou - Minini City, age 17 - 7 caps
12. Mark Noboshine - Takilans Anyuna, age 22 - 16 caps, 2 goals


Forwards:

13. Gen. Gwrlais Devanallt (captain) - First Battalion FC, age 30 - 20 caps, 23 goals
14. Ola Hiyashibara - Takilans Anyuna, age 19 - 20 caps, 8 goals
15. Paul Iyopa - Heart of Anyuna, age 24 - 14 caps, 4 goals
16. Trent Kuonji - Shiratori City, age 26 - 10 caps, 1 goal
17. Jem Futsu-Futsu - Takilans Anyuna, age 26 - 5 caps
18. Lt. Matt Shukuoka - First Battalion FC, age 24 - 6 caps, 1 goal

Rube gingerly pulled on BOB's printout. Rm sinments, it read, followed by a list of decimals.

.33333333...
.91304347...
.03703703...
.41935483...
.92592592...

69 w/manfram

"Can anybody read algebraic (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Algebraic_English)?" Rube asked.

"Room...assignments," Phillip painstakingly translated.

"69 with mainframe?" laughed Yul as Lawrence scowled.

"What's with the numbers?" Andrew impatiently asked.

BOB was unresponsive: this far from the Artificial Intelligence University, it lagged significantly.

"He might know." Rube indicated a figure distracted by the gift shop. "Anatoly!" he clapped like someone signaling a pet.

Anatoly's head snapped over and he joined the rest of the team silently.

"What do these numbers mean?"

He touched the first one. "One-third."

"I'm number one!" Simon Ryne announced. "And...Steven's number 13. Do I have to share with him?

"Thirty-seven...over ninety-nine?" Anatoly was only talking to himself. "One-oh-one? No, that's..." He twitched. "Three, three...I dunno."

"It's okay," Rube rushed.

"It's like the last one, five and two...Sorry."

"What do numbers have to do with us?" Roger demanded. "We're more than just numbers."

"Not to BOB," Lawrence countered.

"Uniform numbers," Andrew realized.

"That's right." Anatoly's head snapped downwards. "Fractions, that's what they are..." Several trials-and-errors with BOB later, he announced, "Okay. Phillip and Yul, me and Andrew, Simon Ryne and Rube, Ulysses and Steven, Roger and Jacob."

Rube sighed. Someone had to be with Simon Ryne, but if he asked to switch with Ulysses, would that look like he was trying to avoid his current roommate and not help Steven? He hoped the team did well enough to get appreciated, because traveling on their budget wouldn't work for long.

Cesibia BoF Football Squad
http://www.soccerfans.com/images/_36/ADI_40167_A.jpeg

Style: 4-4-2
Style Modifier: 0

Management

General Manager: Bruno Fournier
Head Coach: Louis Beaufils
Asst. Coach: Richard Mard
Team Doctor: Dr. Isaak Chéron
Goal Keeping Coach: Fredrick Hans

Squad

# Player Name - Position Starting Players
1 Finbar Joseph - Keeper
2 Benedict Isley - Fullback
4 Edmund Metcalfe - Striker
5 John Pratt - Fullback
6 John Taylor - Fullback
8 Bruce-Joseph-Marie Comeaux - Striker
9 Didier Pépin - Midfield
10 Florian Bellanger - Midfield
11 Georges-Joseph Rodier - Midfield
13 Spiro Labarre - Midfield - Team Captain
16 Jean-Edmond Barrier - Fullback
17 Kurtis Harlan - Fullback
18 Marcus Earnest - Midfield
19 Odell Collin - Striker
20 Theodore Carver - Keeper

Choose my goalscorers Y
Godmod Scoring Events Y
RP injuries to my players Y
Hand out Yellow cards to my players Y
Hand out Red cards to my players Y
Godmod Other Events Y (Don't kill my players)

Group B:
Kelssek
Cesibia
Random toast
Etres Vrais

MD1: Kelssek vs Cesibia
MD2: Cesibia vs Etres Vrais
MD3: Random toast vs Cesibia
MD4: Cesibia vs Kelssek
MD5: Etres Vrais vs Cesibia
MD6: Cesibia vs Random toast

Landau Institute's selected players for the Baptism of Fire and World Cup 33:

Estresse Intenso is a very dangerous and difficult place to live. Its citizens have to support all the stress resultant of a society that is near to an anarchy. The country itself doesn't have a National Team, but there is one place that has, the only place that doesn't have the pressure of Estresse Intenso's way of life.

Many people from Estresse Intenso succumbed to the stress. Most of them became crazy and couldn't live in the country anymore. So, they went to the Landau Institute, where the stress can be controlled and any craziness signs can be controlled by the many doctors that live there, employed by Doctor Rogério Landau.

All the players of Estresse Intenso's National Team come from the Landau Institute, and there they can train 12 hours per day, every day. So, they are more than ready to play such an important competition.

Goalkeepers:

1- Julien PRUNELLA: Perfectionist, Prunella is a serious man, who likes to see everything in the right place. When playing, he is a very fast goalkeeper who can make great jumps and has good reflexes.
Age: 23 years old
Years in the Institute: 12

12- Harold ZHEE ZHANG: Zhang needs many medicines to stay calm. He becomes angry easily, and the doctors have to control him everytime. When playing, he is a good goalkeeper, good in saving penalties and like to leave the goal to start plays.
Age: 32 years old
Years in the Institute: 25

23- Tomé Demétrius VIANA: Viana doesn't talk. After many years under stress, he decided to stop talking and now communicates using signals. In the field he isn't an excellent goalkeeper, only a backup for the team, as his hands aren't very strong.
Age: 30 years old
Years in the Institute: 2

Wing-Backs:

2- Sidney PINDARÉ: Pindaré loves music. He sings everytime his preferred music, and even when he have to talk, he talks singing. He plays singing and even sleeps singing. As a player, he plays in the right wing, using all his speed and technique to start plays for the team, but he is good at tackling too.
Age: 27 years old
Years in the Institute: 11

6- Diego FLORES: Flores fears practically everything. Animals, objects, people, he fears all of it. His main fear is his fear of thieves, thinking that he will be mugged everytime. When playing, he is fast and very intelligent, thinking before passing the ball. He even goes to the attack sometimes to try to score.
Age: 21 years old
Years in the Institute: 18

14- BERGUE: Bergue forgot everything that happened in his life before going to the Institute, even his age and name. Apart from this, he is a normal person, and is learning many things from the doctors. When playing, he can be used in both wings in the field, and is very good at tackling and at passing.
Age: who knows?
Years in the Institute: 13

16- Manoel Arnaldo ANTUNES: Antunes is very fat, and has to take many medicines to control his weight. The doctors discovered that he started to eat after suffering from intense stress and he can't stop to eat anymore. When playing, Antunes doesn't run very much, but is great at tackling and in long passes.
Age: 24 years old
Years in the Institute: 6

Centre-Backs:

3- Carlos Eduardo GODÓI: Godói thinks that he is a very famous person, and when he is playing he thinks that most of the supporters that are in the stadium are his fans. As a defender, he is very competent and is a good leader, although isn't the captain.
Age: 23 years old
Years in the Institute: 9

4- Viriato MANGA: Manga is one of the few players of the squad that doesn't have any problem and doesn't need any medicines. He is very experienced and is a natural leader, very good in tackling and in protecting the ball. (CAPTAIN)
Age: 26 years old
Years in the Institute: 22

13- Roberto MARINHO: Marinho says that he can see the future. But his visions never happen (well, one or two happened, but it was only luck, I think), so nobody believes on him. In the defense he has more technique than te others, but his marking is poor.
Age: 17 years old
Years in the Institute: 3

20- Ângelo SURBINOV: Surbinov lies everytime, and he can't control this. When someone asks something to him, he has to lie. When he is playing, he likes to control the ball and marks well.
Age: 22 years old
Years in the Institute: 5

Defensive Midfielders:

5- Eurico SARDINHA: Sardinha is rally crazy. He says incomprehensible things all the time, shouting and acting like a cave man. Sometimes he talks normally, but still acts like a crazy person. He is a very violent player and good at long shots and passes.
Age: 27 years old
Years in the Institute: 15

8- Anton DUMITRACHE: If Dumitrache doesn't take his medicines, he will be delirious and see unreal things, objects moving and he won't move, shocked in his world, seeing the colours mixing and things moving. As a player, he has some technique and can help the team in making good goal chances.
Age: 18 years old
Years in the Institute: since birth

21- Bjorn ERIKSSON: Eriksson is too calm and lazy. He doesn't run in the field and even sleeps while playing sometimes. He likes to relax. When playing, she stays in only one place in the field, helping the team with his good passes.
Age: 18 years old
Years in the Institute: since birth

22- Jairo MONTEIRO: Monteiro likes to collect. Everything. Everytime he is looking for something to collect, and can even steal or do something wrong to get what he wants. In the position of defensive midfielder, he is very good at tackling and marking, and can play as a defender.
Age: 25 years old
Years in the Institute: 1

Offensive Midfielders:

10- BOGDAN Nejmanovski: Another player that doesn't have any serious problem, Bogdan only need medicines because he has many health problems. But he is a key player, as he is very smart and can dribble very well, creating many good goal chances and even scoring lots of goals.
Age: 35 years old
Years in the Institute: 20

11- Vandison DOS ALPES: Dos Alpes likes to comment the game to his team mates and gives orders for them, becoming angry if they don't obey with him. He also fears the dark and crowded places. Playing, he is good a dribbling and good in taking corner kicks, being a very technical player.
Age: 28 years old
Years in the Institute: 18

15- Gregório ARAÚJO: Araújo loves a deathwatch. He thinks that he can speak with the dead and stays many hours in the cemetery. When playing, he controls the ball a lot and has a good passing ability, but doesn't score many goals.
Age: 20 years old
Years in the Institute: 4

18- Selênio CÉSAR NOBRE: César Nobre is hypochondriac, taking lots of medicines even when he doesn't need any. He also avoids physical contact with other players, fearing that he gets a disease in this contact. But when he is playing he forget about that and play using all his speed and dribbling ability.
Age: 21 years old
Years in the Institute: 20

Attackers:

7- Fernando PONTE PÊNSIL: Ponte Pênsil is a free kick expert, scoring easy goals from free kicks. He also is very good at heading and assisting his team mates, being one of the most respected players of the squad. But he has a serious insomnia, he can't sleep for six days, and after that he sleeps during 24 hours.
Age: 25 years old
Years in the Institute: 22

9- Carlos Alberto GABALÁN: Gabalán is the best player of the team and a goal maker. He doesn't need medicines and is completely sane, so he is the key player of the team and the main responsible for the good results of the squad.
Age: 24 years old
Years in the Institute: since birth

17- Cláudio MENDES: Mendes can't decide. He can't decide what he will eat, what shirt he'll use, and other things. He need to take his medicines to play well. As a supporting striker, Mendes is good at dribbling and makes many assists.
Age: 22 years old
Years in the Institute: 3

19- Nico LACERDA: Lacerda hates cities. When he has to play in a big city, he stays in the hotel during all the trip and only leaves to play the game. When playing, he is a very good striker, and can score many goals.
Age: 17 years old
Years in the Institute: 16

COACH: Doctor Vittorio Mendonça: Vittorio is the responsible for training the team and giving them the medicines that will make them forget their strange habits and play football like the other teams. He is a very good doctor and Landau trusts him.
Age: 68 years old

Landau also sent many other doctors to help the team, working as physical trainer, spy, doctor and other jobs.

The Formation: 4-5-1 Style of +1(used in the first games):

--------------------Prunella-------------------
--Pindaré-----Godói---------Manga------Flores--
----------Sardinha----------Dumitrache---------
-----Dos Alpes-----Bogdan-----Araújo-----------
-------------------Gabalán---------------------

3-4-3 - Style of +3:

--------------------Prunella-------------------
----------Godói------Bergue-----Manga---------
--------------------Sardinha-------------------
-----Dos Alpes------------------Dumitrache-----
---------------------Bogdan--------------------
-----Ponte Pênsil----Gabalán----Mendes---------

The kits(home, away and third):

http://www.timesetorcidas.com.br/timesetorcidas/imagens/Camisa/Normal/g00146.jpg (home)
http://www.timesetorcidas.com.br/timesetorcidas/imagens/Camisa/Normal/g00466.jpg (away)
http://www.timesetorcidas.com.br/timesetorcidas/imagens/Camisa/Normal/g71210.jpg (third)

Choose My Scorers: Y
Godmod Scoring Events: Y
Godmod Other Events: Y (nothing too unreal or serious)
Hand Out Yellow/Red Cards: Y
Injure My Players: Y (not serious injuries)

The Quintessence of Dust side is comprised of amateurs, there being no professional football within the country. The squad's abilities range from a few who could probably cut it at the professional level, to some of whom one might charitably say 'put effort in, and isn't that what really counts?' Player profiles of the probable starting eleven, including notes about their professional lives, are included below. (Text taken from the unofficial fansite, www.ourboys.qd)

Winchester Furman
Goalkeeper
Relatively new to the No. 1 jersey, Furman has proved rock-like in his shot-stopping abilities; he also appears rock-like when it comes to on-field mobility. Perennially exuberant and optimistic even in the face of defeat, what he lacks in astute tactical awareness he makes up for in smiling encouragement. He is a cookery student on the same course as reserve keeper Benny Chan, and close personal friends with captain Theo Littlefellow.

Frederic Renard
Right midfield
Stylish, bordering on flamboyant, Renard has long proved capable of delivering impressive free kicks and accurate crosses corners, but his hard tackling has occasionally spilled over into undisciplined aggression. One of the more experienced members of the squad but also known to keep very much to himself, he is a theatre producer and businessman with a military past.

David Yellowback
Right fullback
Generally considered the best Quodite player of his generation, Yellowback is now the oldest player in the squad, but still as determined to win. Comfortable playing in a range of positions and adept in a variety of skills, he has amassed an impressive tally of goals for a defensive player. Despite having resigned the captaincy, he remains a mentor figure within the squad. He is a police officer.

Guilermo Azzinio
Sweeper
The Azzinio twins (brother Benvolio is also in the squad) are former military helicopter pilots now working the private sector. Guilermo is very quiet and of diminutive stature, but a fearless tackler. He has returned to the national team after an absence, in order to help with perceived weaknesses in central defence.

Charles Williams
Left centreback
Although a relatively young medical student, Williams is one of the longest-serving players, having been selected from a young age alongside close friends Peter Rogers and Dennis Young. He has also accrued the worst disciplinary record in national history, and takes pride in offering medical advice to those he has just cut down.

Theodore Littlefellow
Left fullback
The youngest player in the team, Littlefellow is also captain, the appointment being suggested as related to the importance of his uncle within the Quintessential football administration. Despite being of a stature suggested by his name, he is known for his erratically fierce temper and tremendously powerful left foot; he has been known to produce occasional spectacular long-range free-kicks. Off the field, Littlefellow is a chemistry student and talented musician.

Peter Rogers
Centre midfield
A sports science student, Rogers is the best athlete in the squad and the only one with any professional football experience (although several have had contracts in other sports: Renard in tennis, Williams in hockey, and Young in basketball), Rogers is the midfield dynamo, but remains a mercurial figure prone to selfishness, poor communication and temperamental outbursts. When it’s his day, though, he is an immensely talented player.

Michel Marberger
Right centreback
The newest addition to the squad, Marberger is a relatively recent immigrant to Quintessence of Dust itself. Although well regarded as a player and a genial squad member, his arrival has caused problems, with uncertainty raging over his best position. Presently content to remain in defence, coming up to use his height on corners. He is a music student, and has quickly befriended Rogers, Williams and Young.

Roger Longhorn
Right forward
Quintessence of Dust’s all-time top goalscorer, Longhorn is a determined and athletic figure, endowed with speed, strength and tremendous accuracy. He has consistently shown a cool head when finishing, but is considered less proficient in the air. He is a car salesman, and a leading figure in several other sports, including as a winger in rugby union, a fast bowler in cricket, and a 100m sprinter.

Dennis Young
Left forward
The team’s tallest player (marginally beaten out by Chan in the squad), English student Young has had a stormy career marred by sporadic ill-discipline and injury, but has considerably matured recently to emerge a reliable striker, usually playing just behind Longhorn.

Dino Achten
Left midfield
One of the longest-serving squad members, Achten is a tireless worker who has never truly found his place in the team. Known to prefer a defensive holding role but one of the few players on the national circuit able to play on the left wing, he has been consigned to a position he is perhaps not ideally suited to, but strives to do his best anyway. An able tackler and passer, he is a fireman, and close friend of Yellowback.

Altanar's roster for WC33 will be as follows:

GK
2 - Velkar Kaspaara
14 - Brian Watkins
7 - Loara Giritara

D
3 - Mara Iskinar
15 - Tir Kennar
6 - Claf Lemara
12 - Mer Lazan
1 - Kenna Hamilton
18 - Meni Kerilas

M
11 - Lazar Brakalas
19 - Olen Trinimor
10 - Lor Telas
9 - Nirik Perios
5 - Sam Beck

F
4 - Barik Drenilas
8 - Ven Camal
16 - Terry Harper
17 - Okai Kanarath

Choose My Scorers: Y
Godmod Scoring Events: Y
Godmod Other Events: Y
Hand Out Yellow/Red Cards: Y
Injure My Players: Y

http://a628.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/39/m_7f7c49a0fd39f8aa9cdc34dcbc0e38c3.gif

Squad Random Toast FC
Sq No Name Age Pos Club
1 Big Cheese 31 GK Pants Rotation
2 Strawberry Switchblade 22 RB Furry Cup Rangers
3 Dr Richard Spandit 29 LB Bummers United
4 John Predictable 29 M Fresh Fruit
5 Spontaneous Violence 25 CB Butter Swamp Rovers
6 Tubby Tubs 28 CB Butter Swamp Rovers
7 Peter Salmons 32 M Pants Rotation
8 Jesus Crisp 23 M Real Bisto
9 Cheesy Cheese 26 CF Butter Swamp Rovers
10 Cheese Junior 19 CF Pants Rotation
11 Chegwin Potato 25 M Pants Rotation
12 Ashley Munsen 33 GK Vegetable United
13 Hans Krankl 38 M Margarine City
14 Elly Bean 22 CB Real Bisto
15 Toaster Smith 33 M Vegetable United
16 Peter Andre 27 RB Disco Party FC
17 Juan Sanchez 25 M Real Bisto
18 Jeremy Beadle 32 LB EeWaWuWa Athletic
19 Jad Fair 28 CF No Direct Line FC
20 Felix Beureau 23 CF EeWaWuWa Athletic
21 Jess Poppy 17 CB Disco Party FC
22 Chris Vanstone 26 RB Stratton Utd

Colours: All Brown
Away: All Margarine
Coach: National Express
Burger Van Operative: Chris Vanstone

The Schorteskatascansonalians play a slightly defensive game, with style modifier of -1.

Dispatches

My lord, we will be playing in Group D, against the nations of San Monticaz, Estresse Intenso, and Houersteinzer. I leave it to your discretion to activate 'embassies' [cwd spies] in said nations if you need to. We will be playing in Bazalonia, our first game being in a place called Drago Soccer Field.

I am pleased to give you the roster for our first game:

Duke in goal

Vishnevskij, Devold, Verbir, and Nioplias in defense

Stott, Giddins as captain, Platt, and Elliot in midfield

Bush and Gilmore as forwards.

Yours,
Wenzel

-------

Mother --

I am in Atlantian Oceania preparing for the "Baptism of Fire" Cup. Evidently these are heretics who don't know that baptisms are done with water. The people here seem to have a terrible life, but they seem happy about it, and the place looks nice enough. I'll have more for you once we've played our match against San Monticaz. I'll be playing, so you can watch me on Teleray.

Love,
Jalen

FOR IMMEDIATE AND RAPID TRANSIT TO HOMELAND

The Quakmybush Football Association has released where the matches on Matchday will take place.


Group A: Turruth Gordur vs Quintessence of Dust (Cherrywood Stadium)
Zwangzug vs Northern Bettia (Fort Erie Stadium)

Group B: Kelssek vs Cesibia (Xed City Stadium)
Random toast vs Ertes Vrais (Jinkton City Field)

Pifton. A quintessential leafy suburb set somewhere in the western bit of Gabalfa, Bettia's capital city. All was quiet, sleepy, peaceful... and that's the strange thing, because usually, the only time Pifton (or any other part of the Blessed Realm for that matter) could be described as quiet and peaceful was when Bettia were in action.

But not today, for the World Cup is still quite some time away. No dear readers, something else has grabbed the interest of Gabalfa's denizens, and that something was Bettia's puppets, Northern Bettia for, like Bettia some time before, the Northern ones were about to grace the Baptism of Fire stage - the Fort Erie Stadium to be exact, one that seems to hold dear memories for their hosts.

Our attention turns, as it has so many times before, to the Pie and Pixie, that oh-so-popular sports café on Pifton High Street where locals congregate in their hundreds (if they can fit) to watch whatever sports are beamed their way. As always, old George is at his usual spot, sipping away at his tea and munching away on a heady mixture of scones and pretzels, which he garnered a liking for on his trip to Milchama. In front of him, the P&P's new giant plasma screen relays live pictures from Quakmybush, the Fort Erie Stadium awash with the amber and black of the travelling hordes who made their way to Atlantian Oceania via the Anyuna Passage, the newly giant-ant-constructed tunnel linking Bettia with its puppet nation. Good thing too, in these evnironmentally-conscious times where air travel is considered a bit of a no-no by the Blessed Realm's powerful green lobby. He smiles as the Fire Ant fans make their prescence heard...

Oh-oh! Oh-oh! We are the Bettian boys!
Oh-oh! Oh-oh! We are the Bettian boys!
And if you are a Karelan
Surrender or you'll die,
'Cos we all follow the Fire Ants!

"Heh! They may be a right bunch of hooligans, but at least their hearts are in the right place!" George murmurs to himself, smiling.

But as the pre-match atmosphere builds, George can't help but feel uneasy. Something's not right... not right at all... but he just couldn't put his finger on it. All of a sudden, the café's front door bursts open, and his best pal Ali walks in and hurridly makes his way over to his reserved spot.

"Ali? What the hell's wrong with you?" George splutters.

"Eh? What on NS-Earth are you on about?"

"You're almost late! It's me who's usually late for matches, not you! You knew there was a match on!"

"Yeah, sorry about that. I was just leaving the house, nice and early like you said, and just as I was stepping out the front door, a whole flock of aroras comes careerin' down the street. Hundreds of the bloody things! Look - one of 'em even bit my leg!" Ali said, pulling up his trouser leg to show off a small, insignificant cut.

"Aroras? What the hell are aroras doing careerin' down your street?"

"I dunno. From what I heard, they were from the city arora farm round the corner. One of the neighbours reckons it was vandals letting them out of their pens for a laugh. Someone else said 'Nah, it were them bloody animal rights activists, getting all shirty cos people are ignoring aroras in favour of those giant ants'. And one other person said it was actually giant ants just digging around for food and accidentally wrecking the arora pen."

"Right..." George said, unconvinced. "But they're all rounded up now, right?"

"Dunno mate. Didn't stick around. Got a footy game to watch, int we? Much more important, innit?"

"Definately."

"So which ones are we again?" George asked, peering at the screen as the teams made their way out onto the pitch.

"The ones in orange."

"Orange? That's awfully close to red, isn't it?"

"Hmmm, maybe, maybe not. The government allowed it, so it must be okay. So who are we playing again?"

"Zwangzug."

"Any good?"

"As good as anyone else, I guess. To be honest, I haven't the foggiest, but I guess we'll soon find out. As least THEY don't play in red..."


Fixtures / Results

MD1: Zwangzug
MD2: Quintessence of Dust
MD3: Turruth Gordur
MD4: Zwangzug
MD5: Quintessence of Dust
MD6: Turruth Gordur

The Random Toast squad and fans have started to arrive for this Baptism of Fire tournament. The familar choruses from the fans ring out to greet their players:

"RANDOM, RANDOM, RANDOM, RANDOM, RANDOM, RANDOM, RANDOM, RANDOM, RANDOM"

Chris Vanstone's burger van made the long trip, to the delight of the players and fans, stocked up to the brim with hot dogs and other junk.



Choose My Scorers: Y
Godmod Scoring Events: Y
Godmod Other Events: Y
Hand Out Yellow/Red Cards: Y
Injure My Players: Y
Buy burgers from the burger van: Y

Matchday 1 Scores

Group A
Turruth Gordur 0-2 Quintessence of Dust
Zwangzug 0-2 Northern Bettia

and a wonderful table

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Quintessence of Dust 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 3
2 Northern Bettia 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 3
3 Zwangzug 1 0 0 1 0 2 -2 0
4 Turruth Gordur 1 0 0 1 0 2 -2 0

Group B
Kelssek 3-0 Cesibia
Random toast 1-1 Etres Vrais

and table

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Kelssek 1 1 0 0 3 0 3 3
2 Random toast 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
3 Etres Vrais 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
4 Cesibia 1 0 0 1 0 3 -3 0

Match ups for tomorrow.

Quintessence of Dust vs Northern Bettia (Jinkton City Field)
Zwangzug vs Turruth Gordur (Dreton Centre)

Cesibia vs Etres Vrais (Ruckus Room)
Random toast vs Kelssek (Fort Erie Stadium)


OOC: Scores for my region may be a bit late tomorrow.

Matchday 1 Scores continued

Group C

Croisland 2-2 Bartonstein @ TeleBaz Stadium
Altanar 1-1 The Aqua Moose @ SeaBazalope Arena

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Croisland 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
2 Bartonstein 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
3 The Aqua Moose 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
4 Altanar 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1


Group D
Schorteskatascansolani 3-0 San Monticaz @ Drago Soccer Field
Estresse Intenso 4-0 Houersteinzer @ Stadium Verona

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Estresse Intenso 1 1 0 0 4 0 4 3
2 Schorteskatascansolani 1 1 0 0 3 0 3 3
3 San Monticaz 1 0 0 1 0 3 -3 0
4 Houersteinzer 1 0 0 1 0 4 -4 0


MD2 Fixtures:

Group C
Bartonstein vs. The Aqua Moose @ Via Voleta Dome
Altanar cs. Croisland @ Trevton City Enclosed Field

Group D
San Monticaz vs. Houersteinzer @ CBBC Dome
Estresse Intenso vs. Schorteskatascansolani @ George Town Nova Stadium

From the telegraph office at Drago Soccer Field:

TOP PRIORITY URGENT STOP
TO THE EIGHTH SUBCOMMISSION SCHORTESKATASCANSOLANI STOP

di di di

...

MORE DETAILS IN FUTURE DESPATCHES STOP

W

------------

Such was the official match report, sent by coach Master Wenzel within two minutes of successful game conclusion. The telegram was received by the Assistant Undersecretary to the Associate Director of the Eighth Subcommission, and within minutes the official word was spread to the newspapers that Schorteskatascansolani had won their first international by a score of three to zero.

Not that some people hadn't figured that out already, though. In one house off of Old Twelvetrees an old lady was speechless with delight over her son's two beautiful goals. Teleray broadcasting had sent the World Cup over the fifty-fourth channel, not exactly the way to most widely diffuse the showing. However, interest in the national squad was far less than the interest in club football, and furthermore the Interregional Croquet Championships were going on in Split this week, so few people were bothered to watch Schorteskatascansolani's superb game.

DESPATCHES

My lord, we have defeated San Monticaz. Of chief note will be our captain for the game who scored two of our goals, and Verbir who converted a penalty most excellently. Indeed, everything went well; we dominated the match, Duke stood tall in goal, and we won by three to zero. Be advised that our squad for the next match will be Bower in goal, Vishnevskij, Viitaniemi, and Alexander in defense, Brightwell, Caldwell, Elliot, Blackburn, and Kapetanopoulos in midfield, and Cornfeld as captain and Sturegård as strikers. We will be playing against Estresse Intenso. Our "embassies" have informed me that the team is primarily composed of nutjobs and mental cases, but they have just won their game by 4-0, so evidently they are some good. We will be playing in a place called Georgetown Nova Stadium. Please send our kits as we are currently playing in a bunch of blue t-shirts that we picked up off of a thrift store. Please also tell Teleray to put us on a higher channel than 54.

With best regards,
Wenzel

-----

Mother --

I was on top of my element! Did you see me? I was doing great out there! I won't be playing next game, but I sure hope I'll be like this in the rest of the cup! I have to run -- Master Wenzel is wanting to experience some Bazalonian cuisine. It sounds perfectly frightful - raw squid and things like that. I'll let you know.

Love to all,
Jalen

-----

Adolph Krum is acting with impropriety. Do please recall him.

-Zomi

FOR IMMEDIATE AND RAPID TRANSIT TO HOMELAND

“Cold tonight, en’t it,” Sid gruffly intoned as he shuffled across to his seat. Ghostlike puffs of air unfurled slowly around every syllable.

“Just a bit, mate,” replied the young man, half his head buried in a thick black scarf, and the words thereby somewhat muffled. He stuck out a gloved hand. “Ron Bailey.”

“Sid Gupta.” They shook, and then stood in silence, observing the ground. The players were jogging about the field, a couple hanging back to practice with Furman in goal, the national anthems still ringing in their ears. The stadium took 134,000 people at capacity, but tonight it was nowhere near full: although fans from both Turruth Gordur and Quintessence of Dust had made the journey, the authorities had evidently been relying on nationals to make up the rest, and the people of Quakmybush seemed to have recognised that a BoF opener might not prove a clash of the titans.

“What you thinking for the score?”

Ron sniffed like a rusty chainsaw blade. “Don’t know too much about, uh, Toothy…nah…” – he glanced at his program – “about ‘Turruth Gordur’, but I reckon a draw, or maybe we’ll sneak one. Not a lot of goals.”

“Aw, mate, you gotta have a bit of faith! No, it’s not gonna be Goalfest ’07, but you gotta support the boys. 2-0, I call it.”

“Alright.” Ron leaned across, hand extended again. “On a beer later?”

“Sure.” They shook again. Whistles and calls rent the air as the players trudged into formation, two black-and-gold shirted forwards marching to the centre spot with the ball. A sharp blow on the whistle, Young rolled the ball to Longhorn who sent it firmly back to Rogers, and the game was underway.

Early on, possession was heavily concentrated in the vagueness of the middle of the pitch, with play all short passes to avoid any mistakes, and no real initiatives to take the ball on. Sid was screaming his lungs roar, his instructions mostly consisting of picking random verbs and prepositions, and seeing what he could make of them. “Close it down! Pick it up! Move it on! Window it around!” Ron’s preferred method of encouragement was more silent: hands thrust deep into his large coat pockets and everything beneath his creased brow hiding in the scarf, he constantly hopped from one foot to the other, only whipping out his arms to clap wildly whenever a tackle was made or a run attempted, and instantly sheathing them the moment the ball recovered or the attack averted.

It took until a good twenty minutes in for true excitement to grip in, when Achten managed to slip his marker and charge up the left flank to collect a long pass from Marberger. Holding the ball as long as he could, he finally fired in a cross that didn’t curl back enough for Young to reach it, but a scuffle in the box managed to panic a defender into putting it out for a corner. As Renard lined it up, they continued their one-sided breed of conversation.

“Reckon he’ll try to pick out Youngy here. Longhorn’s no good on corners.”

“Aye.”

“Go on! Splork it in!”

“Aye.”

The cross found Rogers, but drifted too far behind him and he couldn’t comfortably volley, instead flicking it away to Achten to hit a thunderous drive that careered safely over the bar. The players faded back, to associated grumbles.

“Wasted, that one was.”

“Aye.”

“Should have tapped it short.”

“Aye.”

The half died out in dull goalless oblivion, but not before Williams had managed to collect a yellow card, much to the protestation of Sid and Ron.

“He didn’t touch him!”

“Get up you big fairy!”

“Oi, ref, book him for diving!”

“Get up and stop whingeing!”

A yellow card was flourished, but in the direction of Williams’s back. Sid spat noisly.

“Fahking disgusting, en’t it.”

“Bloody cheats,” agreed Ron as the medics jogged back off the pitch.

Just as the whistle beckoned, Renard and Rogers exchanged a series of attacking passes, quickly gaining ground on the right. Renard cut inside to take a shot on his left foot, but a neat tackle dispossessed.

“Foul!” bellowed Sid.

“You hacked Freddy!”

“You bastards!”

Play continued, and Sid spat.

“Fahking disgusting.”

“Aye.”

The second half began largely without incident, but newly energised, Turruth Gordur began attacking, and Sid and Ron were left to make hasty incidental conversation. No one would be so rude as to interrupt their chatter about what the kids were doing at university and the bloody price of petrol these days, and it seemed to work, as a series of onslaughts managed to elicit a booking for Young for an unbecoming shove, but put no dent in the scoreline.

“Keeps this way, I’ll need a fahking bike to get to work.”

“Aye,” agreed Ron.

They both fell silent instantly, though, as a counter-attack began, not daring to breathe in case the gust upset Rogers’s balance. He danced up the pitch, beating two oncoming defenders, and hit a long curling pass away to Longhorn. Boxed away towards the corner, an unfavoured position, he managed to hold on long enough as players of red and black streamed back up the pitch, but only long enough so that when he tapped a sharp pass back to Renard, there were only two defenders in the area. Renard hit a precise curling cross, Young leapt, and there was a general collision of ball, head and goalkeeper’s outstretched fist, in some order. The ball fell down, and Young managed to scrabble his left foot under it, sending it flying into the roof of the net.

As the players ran off to cavort with the corner flag, Sid and Ron thrashed about for a moment, and then subdued into confident nonchalance, Sid chewing voraciously, Ron hopping from one foot to the other fractionally quicker.

“Fahking fantastic, en’t it.”

“Aye.”

There was a decided lull in play, with Turruth Gordur unwilling to go into all-out attack for fear of conceding a definitive winner, and the Quodites more eager to preserve their slender lead than risk losing it in pursuit of a presently unneeded second. It returned to a gritty midfield exchange, all teasing pauses and sharp tackles. The display screens showed that Northern Bettia were leading Zwangzug. Young was substituted off, with the other Azzinio running on to take his place.

“He’s done well, the lad,” said Sid as he clapped; Ron merely hopped.

“Aye.”

“Well played lad! Now get stuck in again!” Sid called.

The display was repeated a couple of minutes later as Renard walked off the field, Mountbatten – wearing his distinctive headband – bouncing on in his place.

The two fresh set of legs enlivened Quintessence of Dust’s attack, with Yellowback and Mountbatten cleverly working the ball up the right by way of two throw-ins and a series of interweaving darts. The ball was moved infield with Rogers taking it up; bursting between two defenders, he unleashed a powerful strike that grazed the goalkeeper’s flailing hand and the outside of the post in quick succession. Sid and Ron shared a massive groan with half the rest of the stadium. Songs bounced around them and a few drums pounded along with the blaring horns.

The first corner was put out for a second, with Littlefellow hitting a deep booming ball to Marberger, who headed down well. There was a scuffled clearance, but soon he had the ball again, passing to Longhorn, who charged inside. Seemingly about to hit a through ball for Azzinio to try to run onto, he was brought down.

“Re-fah-ree!” bellowed Sid.

“Bloody fouled him!”

The free-kick was awarded amongst much protesting, as Longhorn hopped up instantly. With Renard off the pitch, there was something of a congress gathered about behind the ball, and the shepherding back of the wall from nine and a half yards, only to shuffle back the moment the referee marched off to sort out some shirt-tugging, provided welcome relief for a decision on the taker to be made. Littlefellow ran away to the left, and Longhorn moved inside the box to get in on the shirt-tugging action

Rogers stood over the ball, his deep breaths etching themselves in the night air in front of him, and hit a great shot that whipped past the wall and beat the despairing dive of the goalkeeper. He cartwheeled off as dejected red figures picked up the ball, and Sid and Ron resumed their curious dances of adulation, Sid’s arms extended and waving like Elastic Arm Man’s, while Ron’s hopping reached a fervent tempo.

There were a couple more attacks, one by either side, as the game reached its conclusion, but nothing that particularly threatened to raised the pulse, and when the whistle blew after three minutes of injury time it seemed like 2-0 had been ordained from on high. The Quodites ran around the pitch for a bit, but it was too cold for too much celebration, and they headed in. Sid and Ron stood clapping and hopping for a while.

“Oh, bollocks.”

“Hmm?”

“Owe you a bloody beer, don’t I.”

Sid cackled. “Fahking fantastic.”

Lawrence was feeling smug. This wasn't an unusual occurrence, but the reasoning was: for once, there was somebody BOB was just as mad at as him. Four somebodies, in fact: Andrew and the forwards had also gotten red cards during the game, or what of the event deserved the title. After the Ants' second goal, (their first had come five minutes into the game, with Rube distracted by a feigned injury), Phillip had said something darnder than Bigtopians would at Gen. Gwrlais Devanallt, and, well, it wasn't Yul Maughum's fault that his name sounded a lot like "Your mom".

The peons had eight cards between them, the Fire Ants at least that many, with significantly more red. Steven had gotten in late, trying to prove that he could fend for himself apart from Ulysses, who had tried to pull him out and gotten minorly involved. The referee ruled Jacob, who had declared the Fire Ants "spawn of Crayak with a hive mind to boot", not in enough possession of mental faculties to deserve a red card. Roger just stood in the middle of things. (Rube was actually identifiable as trying to break it up, and Anatoly, who was considering defection to karelan Rejistania, was trying to score.)

"Looks like Anne Onymous will be starting next match...five incarnations of her," Rube muttered.

Females? Lawrence's smile widened.

Headline in the Bangkok Scoresheet: Ps braks out as fans watch World Cup!!??

---
Le Etoile (English) sports desk, Outineau
---

The newsroom was engaged in bitter debate.

"How about something a bit better than 'Hero Hartraft has hat-trick'?"

"But it's the alliteration, boss! The alliteration!" said Jess.

"The word 'has' kinda takes out the impact," chipped in another of the writers, "and it sounds like he was pregnant and just gave birth to three goals.

Jess consulted his dictionary. "How about 'hammers'?" he suggested, frowning slightly at one of the examples for "defeat (sb) utterly": The Outineau Falcons were hammered 5-1. Probably the safest example for an English dictionary to use, or someone at the publishers was a Dragons fan.

"'Hero Hartraft Hammers Hat-trick'? Still a bit awkward, but oh well."

---
http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/media/le-etoile-banner.gif

Sport in Short: Football
HERO HARTRAFT HAMMERS HAT-TRICK

Kelssek has emerged victorious in their first match of the Baptism of Fire for World Cup 33 with a 3-0 win over Cesibia. Veteran Dennis Hartraft potted all three goals for the hat-trick in a solid team effort in which Henri Cournoyer and Vincent Arsenault also shone.

With a three-way fight to be the number one goalie, manager Mathieu de Jenken went with Capital FC's Richard Davies, who also did well to keep a clean sheet with several good stops off Cesibia's striker Odell Collin.

OOC: The dictionary thing is based on a true story; I have an Oxford English Dictionary which uses Manchester United as the team which gets hammered 5-1 and it makes me think someone on the staff must be a City fan.

And welcome back to Sonastra Sports, where our live coverage of Northern Bettia's opening match against Zwangzug will shortly be underway. I'm joined here in the studio by the manager of Bettia, Stuart Abdul-Rahim, and my erstwhile colleague Jeff Thirtyman. Jeff, just looking out there into the ground itself, you have to say the Northern Bettian fans are certainly creating something of an atmosphere.

Oh, definitely - they've certainly turned the volume up. In fact, I have to say it's rather intimidating out there, even for their own players. We knew they were loud, but... well, it's pretty charged out there, to put it mildly.

Now Stuart, you've seen these guys play. What do you make of them?

Well, I'm glad to say they play some good Takilan-style football, but it's markedly different from the Aroras - the Ants play a more tactical form of System Takil, while we tend to use a more gung-ho, in-your-face approach. Plus, they're not averse to using some sly moves here and there. It should be very interesting to see how well their style holds up here.

Thank you Stuart. Okay, the players are the tunnel, so now we cross over to our commentary team, Sa'id bin Ismail and first Ian Gwyn Hughes.



Thank you Mike. Yes, after weeks of anticipation in the Colony, Northern Bettia are at last about to make their mark on the world stage. There they are, marching out onto the pitch, led as always by captain, and for the time being, de facto President of Northern Bettia, General Gwrlais Devanallt. It must be tough, having to concentrate on leading a football team and governing an entire nation, but the General seems to be coping with ease. As the line up for the anthems, I'll just give you the teams - in goal for the Fire Ants is Jon Ozeki, with Idasenai and Yoiko in defence. Kyobu, Saotama and Megumi make up the midfield, with Koizumi and Sakasayou loking to cause mayhem on the wings, and Devanallt, Hiyashibara and Iyobu up front. Zwangzug line up in a 3-4-3, with Trumper in goal, Sevvy, Card and Tercer making up the back three, Ruck, Stael, Hammers and Barons in the centre, with Olson, Stings and Maugham attacking. Sa'id, any thoughts?

Well, looking at the two lineups, we should be in for a good contest with plenty of positive play. It could all be down to who can hold their nerves the better.

Okay, the two teams are about to kick off, so sit back and enjoy the action...

5 MINUTES

...it's been a rather quiet opening but Northern Bettia are starting to put some moves together now. Yoiko... to Kyobu... a long searching ball across the field finds Koizumi, he's found himself in a bit of space, let's see what he can do now... oh, now that was lovely, a superb little sidestep there to beat the defender... he's found himself trapped in the corner there, good pressure there by Card and Ruck... but Koizumi's somehow managed to wriggle free, he crosses into the area.. there's a huge crowd of players waiting for it... AND IT'S IN!! In amongst the melee, someone managed to get a definitive touch... Hiyashibara I think it was. And the Zwangzug players are not happy, they're crowding round the referee... it looks like they're claiming a handball, but the referee's waving them away. Oh, they're absolutely livid! Let's have a look at the replay... the ball comes in here and... well... they have a point, there's a definite hand there by Hiyashibara. Can't tell whether it was deliberate or not, but the Zwangzug seem convinced it was. But unfortunately for them the goal stands - Northern Bettia one, Zwangzug nil!

43 MINUTES

...relentless pressure from Zwangzug in these dying minutes of the first half, they're desperate to get something back before the break. Barons on the ball now, he's had a good game so far, made a real nuisance of himself sitting just behind the fornt three. Marcus Megumi's in close attendance... this is an almighty tussle for the ball and... oh! He's gone down, holding his face. He looks like in some pain there.

Did he catch an elbow there?

Well, his team-mates certainly think so. The referee's gonna have his work cut out keeping order here... he's consulting his linesman. What's this? He's going over to Megumi... it's a yellow card. Well, it looks like he's been booked for faking an injury. Not sure I agree with that.

I guess the linesman had a better angle on it than we did... I'd like to see a replay of that. This is turning out to be an eventful opener, that's for sure...

78 MINUTES

...the game's starting to peter out now. Futsu-Futsu gets the ball... I think Northern Bettia needed his fresh legs, Hiyashibara was starting to look tired. Futsu-Futsu's just barged his way through that challenge, that's just the strength they needed... that's a good diagonal ball to Sakasayou on the wing, he's cutting into the penalty area... Tercer coming into challenge for the ball, Sakasayou's trying to hold him off... he's gone down and... it's a penalty! The ref's given the penalty! And once again, the Zwangzug players are furious. Tercer looks like he's about to explode!

I have to say, they may have a point. I'm not sure there was any real contact made there at all. The ref had his view blocked somewhat, and so did the linesman over there on the far side of the pitch.

But the penalty stands, and it looks like it's Gwrlais Devanallt to take it... still some protests from the opposition... this certainly is a high pressure moment for the captain, he'll have to put all his international experience to good use here... he's certainly had to take a lot of ribbing today, that's for sure. He takes a step back... here it comes... GOAL! He's absolutely buried that with all his might, dead centre of the goal, sent the keeper the wrong way. After 79 minutes now, the score - Northern Bettia two, Zwangzug nil.

95 MINUTES

...we're in the fifth minute of injury time now, Northern Bettia are hanging on for dear life as Zwangzug pour forward as they try to get a consolation goal back... they're certainly making their numerical advantage count. A long-range shot from Olson, easily saved by Ozeki, and he's in no hurry to get the ball out... but he doesn't need to! There goes the final whistle! The referee signals the end to this very eventful contest. A flurry of red cards, a shedload of yellows, and two debatable goals - I dare say there'll be a hell of a lot for the studio boys to chew over. In rather controversial circumstances, the final score here in the Fort Erie Stadium - Northern Bettia two, Zwanzug nil!


Fixtures / Results

MD1: Zwangzug W 2-0
MD2: Quintessence of Dust
MD3: Turruth Gordur
MD4: Zwangzug
MD5: Quintessence of Dust
MD6: Turruth Gordur

BE CALM NEWSPAPER: GOOD FIRST VICTORY FOR LANDAU INSTITUTE
Match report with comments of Doctor Haroldo Sassarel

http://www.planetworldcup.com/CUPS/1998/wc98_046.jpg
Bogdan controls the ball

In an easy game for the Institute's players, Estresse Intenso defeated Houersteinzer by the result of 4x0. This result will give confidence for the team that will face Schorteskatascansolani in the second round of the competition. The main player of the Institute's squad in the game was Gabalán, who scored three times.

The midfield made many good plays and helped the team with an offensive attitude. The formation was good and Gabalán was excellent in the job of the only attacker of the team. As no problems were seen in the first game, the coach Mendonça will put the same team for the next game, hoping with another good performance.

THE GAME
with comments of Doctor Haroldo Sassarel

"The game started good for our team, as our offensive formation really suited well the style of our players. If we see, Dumitrache plays as a defensive midfielder, but he helps the attack a lot and was a key player in the game. Another player that made the difference was Bogdan, who could use all his experience to find the right places to pass the ball."

Estresse Intenso's team started attacking, trying to reach the striker Gabalán all the times. In the fifth minute, Araújo received the ball from Dumitrache and crossed the ball to Gabalán, but the attacker didn't hit the ball with much strength and the goalkeeper got it back. "Araújo made a bad crossing in this play. Gabalán did well in even heading this ball."

In the eleventh minute, Dos Alpes asked Bogdan to go to the area and wait for him. Bogdan, knowing that Dos Alpes would continue to ask things during all the game, obeyed. Two minutes later, Flores was with the ball, but saw a suspicious man and passed the ball to Dos Alpes, who made a perfect pass to Bogdan. He shot and scored the first goal of the game.

"This first goal was very simple. A normal play started by our left-back who feared the strange man and passed the ball to Dos Alpes. Bogdan's experience helped, as young players could get nervous and lose the ball." Estresse Intenso continued controlling the game after the goal, and was near to score again in the twenty-second minute, but Sardinha sent the ball wide.

Houersteinzer even had some good chances to score, the main one in the twenty-eighth minute of the game. An attacker dribbled one defender and shot, but Prunella made a great save putting both hands on the ball. After that he had to adjust the grass of the field, as the ball passed over it. "Prunella wanted the grass in perfect state."

Three minutes after, Estresse Intenso scored another goal. Manga took the ball from an opponent and made a long pass to Gabalán, who dribbled two players and shot to score the goal. "Marvelous goal. Manga made an incredible long ranged pass and Gabalán could control the ball, finishing with an intelligent shot. These things make me proud to work in this Institute."

http://www.planetworldcup.com/CUPS/1998/wc98_031.jpg
Players commemorated the goal

In the final ten minutes of the first half, Houersteinzer started to play better, controlling the ball and making good plays. But the defense of Estresse Intenso worked well and could avoid suffering a goal. With four minutes remaining for the end of the first half, Bogdan received the ball and crossed the ball to Gabalán, who headed the ball in front of the goalkeeper and scored the last goal of the first half. The first half ended 3x0.

To the second half, the coach had to change Araújo, who started to talk with something in the dressing room and didn't stop. Ponte Pênsil entered in his place. Estresse Intenso started the second half with a more defensive attitude than the one of the first half, but still was very dangerous in the attack.

"Surely the coach noticed that the result was good and there was no need to attack and suffer the risks of the opponent's counterattacks. Dumitrached retreated and the full-backs stopped to run to the attack. An intelligent change." The game become more equal, but Houersteinzer couldn't invade the area to try to score.

Soon, another goal happened. In the fifteenth minute of the second half, Dos Alpes was fouled. Ponte Pênsil took the free kick, but the ball was blocked by a defender. Gabalán acted fast and stole the ball from the opponent, shooting to the goal and giving no chances to the opponent goalkeeper. After the goal, Estresse Intenso tried to control the ball without attacking.

In the twenty-fourth minute, Godói was sending kisses to the supporters when an opponent took the ball and dribbled him easily. Prunella had to leave the goal to stop the goal chance. Marinho entered in Godói's place. "He thought that the people in the stadium were his fans." Five minutes later, Mendonça made the last change in the team, putting César Nobre in Sardinha's place.

During the last ten minutes of the game, Estresse Intenso controlled the ball in the midfield, and had some goal chances with Bogdan, Gabalán and Ponte Pênsil, but they missed. The opponent team tried to attack, but was losing the ball in the midfield many times and missed many passes. The game ended 4x0. "Excellent result and we can hope for more good results like this one."

The coach Mendonça talked with our reporter: "We started very well the competition, our players were very concentrated and could play football instead of making other things, so I would like to thank them and KG-Tijhus Laboratories, as they make the medicines that our players take. Only Godói and Araújo had to left today because of their personal problems."

http://www.planetworldcup.com/CUPS/1998/wc98_068.jpg
In the second half the game was more equal

ESTRESSE INTENSO 4x0 HOUERSTEINZER

Place: Stadium Verona, in Bazalonia
Attendance: 38,439 people.
MOTM: Carlos Alberto Gabalán (E.I.)

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/estresse_intenso.png ESTRESSE INTENSO: Prunella, Pindaré, Godói (Marinho 69'), Manga and Flores; Sardinha (César Nobre 74'), Dumitrache, Dos Alpes, Bogdan and Araújo (Ponte Pênsil 45'); Gabalán.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/houersteinzer.png HOUERSTEINZER: no team released.

Goals: Bogdan 14' , Gabalán 31'/41'/60'.

Group C

Bartonstein 2-2 The Aqua Moose @ Via Voleta Dome
Altanar 4-0 Croisland @ Trevton City Enclosed Field

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Altanar 2 1 1 0 5 1 4 4
2 Bartonstein 2 0 2 0 4 4 0 2
3 The Aqua Moose 2 0 2 0 3 3 0 2
4 Croisland 2 0 1 1 2 6 -4 1


Group D

San Monticaz 0-0 Houersteinzer @ CBBC Dome
Estresse Intenso 1-2 Schorteskatascansolani @ George Town Nova Stadium

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Schorteskatascansolani 2 2 0 0 5 1 4 6
2 Estresse Intenso 2 1 0 1 5 2 3 3
3 San Monticaz 2 0 1 1 0 3 -3 1
4 Houersteinzer 2 0 1 1 0 4 -4 1


MD3 Fixtures:

Group C
Croisland vs. The Aqua Moose @ Drago Soccer Field
Altanar vs. Bartonstein @ Stadium Verona

Group D
Schorteskatascansolani vs. Houersteinzer @ TeleBaz Stadium
Estresse Intenso vs. San Monticaz @ SeaBazalope Arena

Group A

Quintessence of Dust 4-3 Northern Bettia
Zwangzug 0-1 Turruth Gordur

Table
Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Quintessence of Dust 2 2 0 0 6 3 3 6
2 Northern Bettia 2 1 0 1 5 4 1 3
3 Turruth Gordur 2 1 0 1 1 2 -1 3
4 Zwangzug 2 0 0 2 0 3 -3 0

Group B
Cesibia 0-1 Etres Vrais
Random toast 0-4 Kelssek

Table
Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Kelssek 2 2 0 0 7 0 7 6
2 Etres Vrais 2 1 1 0 2 1 1 4
3 Random toast 2 0 1 1 1 5 -4 1
4 Cesibia 2 0 0 2 0 4 -4 0

Tomorrow's Matches

Turruth Gordur vs Northen Bettia (Fort Erie Stadium)
Zwangzug vs Quintessence of Dust (Jinkton City Field)

Kelssek vs Etres Vrais (Ruckus Room)
Random toast vs Cesibia (Xed City Field)

doh di di



FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Schorteskatascansolanians rejoice! Once more we have proved that faith can conquer lunacy, with our 2-1 victory over Estresse Intenso! Despite a red card to Caldwell in only the 28th minute (for which the salacious press of our opponent will no doubt have the dripping details) we triumphed due to the strength of our midfield and excellent play from Sturegård. Please contact your nearest Teleray representative to find out how you can come to possess your very own recording of this historic match and find out who scored what and how it happened. You'll even learn about the pelican.

SDG
Teleray, Channel 54

DESPATCHES

My lord, we have defeated Estresse Intenso. The midfield was very crowded, as both teams had five players in it. It was a bitterly contested game, much more difficult than the last one. Indubitably Teleray will whitewash everything that happened, but when Caldwell was sent off for his elbow which injured one of the EI defenders, and when EI pulled ahead 1-0 by a goal from Bogdan, I did think we had lost the game. Fortunately, Cornfeld and Sturegård did not share that spirit. Cornfeld encouraged the rest of the team, and our four remaining players in midfield played the equal of five. Sturegård took his chances, and was rewarded two minutes after the halftime break. After this, we did not relent, but kept up pressure until Kapetanopoulos was able to score again in the eighty-seventh minute. I do wish to commend Kapetanopoulos to you. The man is a veritable locomotive; when everyone else was beginning to tire and settle for a draw, he only ran faster and played harder. Nothing can faze him. I highly recommend him for a vacant place when we choose our World Cup squad.

Guillaume is here and has brought our kits. I think he has designs about broadcasting when our next game comes. Maybe he will help us get beyond channel 54. Many thanks for your support. Be advised that our lineup for the next match will include MacCulloch in goal, Torpey, Alexander, and Elmes as defenders, Giddins, Steen, Fousek, and Kapetanopoulos as midfielders, and Bush, Priest, and Sturegård as strikers. We will have the pleasure of playing in TeleBaz Field, the largest stadium in all of Balazonia [sic], and will play against Houersteinzer.

Yours,
Wenzel

P.S. We are running low on Gilmore's favourite breakfast cereal and the team is all afraid to go into grocery stores here. Please send some by the next post.

------

Mother --

Nice victory for the men here. I'll be playing next game. I'll score one for you in the 69th minute precisely. Happy birthday.

Jalen

FOR IMMEDIATE AND RAPID TRANSIT TO HOMELAND

The Anyuna Observer - free cut-out-and-keep guide to raising your own Giant Ants!

Fire Ants Choked By Dust

Northern Bettia............3 (Devanallt 14, Kuonji 76 81)
Quintessence of Dust..4 (Longhorn 37 65, Young 41, Rogers 72 pen)

With a number of players suspended from their firey opening encounter with Zwangzug, a depleted Northern Bettian squad always knew this game would be tough going, and the Quintessentials certainly made sure of that as they came away with three valuable points here at the Jinkton City Field.

The Fire Ants started brightly however, and team captain Gwrlais Devanallt led the way, opening the scoring after 14 minutes by bundling a Kyobu corner into the QofD goal, despite the close attentions of a number of defenders. Northern Bettia continued to enjoy most of the possession and goalscoring chances but they were unable to make their pressure count as, completely against the run of play, Quintessence of Dust equalised after 37 minutes.

The Fire Ants' fourth corner of the day was well caught by goalkeeper Furman who launched a quick throw out to Littlefellow on the wing. Making the best use of the space he was given, he made his way up the flank and sent a lofted cross into the area, which centre-forward Roger Longhorn was all to happy to head in. This setback seemed to knock the stuffing out of our heroes somewhat, and the Quintessentials quickly capitalised on this by going ahead just four minutes later courtesy of a shot from just inside the penalty area by Dennis Young.

In contrast to the first half, the second half was largely dominated by the Quints. Geed up by their sudden change in fortune, they poured forward confidently and found themselves further ahead 20 minutes into the half. A long ball from defender Michel Marberger found Rogers in the Bettian half. After somehow finding his way past Saotama, he threaded a ball into the penalty area, finding Longhorn with enough space to slot the ball under Jon Ozeki.

By this time, the Fire Ants' heads were well and truly down, and three-one soon became four-one. Longhorn charged into the penalty area only to be crudely hacked down by Alex Yoiko, a foul which earned the Heart of Anyuna player his second yellow card. As he trudged off the field, Peter Rogers stepped up to sidefoot the ball into the bottom left-hand corner, barely out of reach of Ozeki who had managed to dive the right way.

So, you're four-one down with around fifteen minutes, and everything that can go wrong has gone wrong, so what do you do? That's right, you have nothing to lose so you take off a midfielder and put on another striker. The man to benefit from this bold ploy was Shiratori City's enigmatic top scorer Trent Kuonji, and he soon found his goalscoring touch with a well-taken long-range effort that dipped wickedly under the bar.

But that wasn't all. Having such an immediate impact paid dividends, and Kuonji soon found his way past a shell-shocked Quintessential defence to pull Northern Bettia back to within spitting distance of their opponents. But alas, try as they might, they just couldn't find the killer touch. A tactical reshuffle by the Dust management saw two-goal hero Longhorn replaced by Robert Robson playing in a sweeper role, essentially throwing up a six-man defensive wall to cancel out Northern Bettia's six-man attack.

And so, the scoreline stood. This result see Quintessence of Dust open up a three point gap at the top of Group A, with Northern Bettia in second ahead of Turruth Gordur by virtue of the Ants' five goals scored to their one. Matchday Three sees the Fire Ants return to the Fort Erie Stadium, the scene of their opening day victory, hoping that this venue brings a repeat of that day's fortune.



Fixtures / Results

MD1: Zwangzug.............W 2-0
MD2: Quintessence of Dust L 3-4
MD3: Turruth Gordur..........
MD4: Zwangzug................
MD5: Quintessence of Dust
MD6: Turruth Gordur

Group B
Cesibia 0-1 Etres Vrais
Random toast 0-4 Kelssek

Table
Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Kelssek 2 2 0 0 7 0 7 6
2 Etres Vrais 2 1 1 0 2 1 1 4
3 Random toast 2 0 1 1 1 5 -4 1
4 Cesibia 2 0 0 2 0 4 -4 0



Mr Express, the toast team coach, expressed the following views on his teams performances in an open and candid interview:

'Well, if you look at the results you could say it's been a slow start. But its no good bolting the stable door after the pigs have flown. We have a crucial match against Cesibia coming up, which is nice. On a positive note, sales from our burger van have been tremendous, and we are expecting a bumper turnout from the next match, as Chris Vanstone is introducing his 'Naked Burger Day' offer. Anyone naked will be receiving free burgers from Chris, who of course will be naked himself, as usual. Its a funny old game, saint.

As I final note, I would just like to say, COME ON TEAM..RANNNNNDDDDDDDOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM..ahem, thank you'

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/media/vickeryglobe.gif

Brilliant showing as Kelssek wins 4-0

It was in many ways a complete victory as Kelssek's football team built upon a solid performance in their first game to an excellent all-round effort for a 4-0 win over Random toast.

Ian Colwyn should take most of the credit for being the cornerstone of the defence in the game, with a solid display of ball-winning ability in midfield and a good effort to get back on the defense. Vincent Arsenault, meanwhile, penetrated the Random toast defence consistently with good dribbling and creative flair, and was directly responsible for two of Kelssek's goals.

But even as the scoreline implies - correctly - a big attacking performance, it was a strong effort at the defensive end of the pitch which allowed Lawrence Feeley to come away with a clean sheet. Random toast just couldn't really get past the back four and when they did, the North York keeper was more than equal to the task, stopping the offense cold.

While manager Mathieu de Jenken will want to prevent the team getting overconfident, it's hard for the players not to be feeling good about the first two games of the Baptism of Fire.

Kelssek: Feeley, St. Louis, Dobrynin, Symonds, Avant, Colwyn (Despatie 73), Arsenault (Archer 73), Hartraft, Birtles, Sinclair, Cournoyer (Crawford 65).

Scorers: Sinclair 11', Birtles 42', Crawford 72', Archer 88'
Yellow cards: Symonds, Colwyn

This was Steven's chance. Though the entire midfield had managed to retain eligibility, Anne Onymous was dominating the Zwangzug setup. With no real forwards, Jacob still tending to his elbow, Roger mediocre, and Ulysses...Ulysses was the competition, more than Turruth Gordur.

So he played aggressively, diving into every play: he had picked up some tips from those Fire Ants. It left him sprawling on the ground, dysfunctional and racing futilely after the ball as Ulysses expertly directed it back upfield, or Roger tapped it to Ulysses, or Rube maneuvered it away...

But there were a few times when even Anne's versatility failed, one when Anatoly couldn't intervene with the ball's flight. And then, Steven became fully aware of his position of "young and highly touted": there would be other games for him, and he had to wait until them.

"Hmph! Well that's a bugger!" George harrumphed gruffly as he sipped his cup of tea.

"Yeah, and they came so close too. Ah well... at least they only had one sent off this time." Ali agreed. "Looks like these Dusty types could be the ones to beat."

Like most of Pifton, Ali and George had just been watching Northern Bettia's narrow defeat at the hands of Quintessence of Dust. The lows of going four-one down and having a man sent off, the high of the Fire Ants' thrilling late comeback - all had been experienced in the best posisble way - with a shedload of your mates. The High Street was more or less deserted, save for the ubiquitous comedy tumbleweed and his son bouncing merrily down the High Street. But they weren't alone....

As George bit into his umpteenth scone of the afternoon, his head suddenly jerked up.

"What was that?"

"What was what?" Ali answered.

"Something just touched my leg. You'd better not be playing footsy with me." George growled.

"Oh please, what do you take me for?"

"So what touched my leg then?"

"Buggered if I know. Where was it, under the table?" Ali said as he pulled his seat out and slowly bent down to take a look.

"Hmph! Nothing here." said George. But as he was pulling his aged, acheing back into the most upright position that it could, something caught his eye - a grey blur darting from the edge of the table.

"Huh? There it is!" George shouted, causing everyone in the Pie and Pixie to look in their direction.

"Where?"

"It's gone back under our table."

"Aww bloody hell, I've just up from under there." Ali moaned as he once again pulled his chair out. "Bloody inconsiderate..."

He stopped his little tirade as he saw what was responsible for getting old George all jumpy - it was small, a shiny grey colour, and glaring up at him with its small black eyes, with telltale crumbs around its mouth.

"Eeh, will you look at that - it's a Silver Arora!"

"Really?" George said, perring down at it. "Looks like the Baptism of Fire cup to me."

"Don't blame you - the two are easily confused." Ali grinned as he reached out for it. "Hello there, you greedy little bastard. Been scoffin' our cakes, have ya?"

The arora growled quietly at him.

"Now now, no need to get all pissy on us. Come on." It growled much louder now, squirming to get free as Ali swiftly picked it up and looked at it.

"Ah, I knew it - a female! No wonder it's so grumpy - it's probably all hormonal!"

All the men in the café sniggered, but Doris, the café's owner wasn't to amused.

"Oi! That's enough of that young man - that's sexist, that is!"

"You're kiddin' aren't you? Aroras are never sexy!" Ali replied.

"Tssch! She said SEXIST, you deaf twat!" George said. "Where's yer bloody hearing aid?"

Ali chuckled as he looked down at the arora. She had stopped kicking up a fuss, and was actually getting rather comfortable in Ali's arms.

"Heh. I think she likes you."

"Maybe. How do you think she got in here?"

"Dunno. Escaped from that arora farm, most likely."

"Yes... well, I'm buggered if I'm giving it back."

"What? You're keeping it?"

"Yeah, why not? Looks like she likes me, after all. Course, now I gotta come up with a name."

"Yes, but what name do you give to a female arora who scoffs all our scones during the Baptism of Fire..."

A clipboard outside the Turruth Gordur dressing room announces that General Gorgol “The Butcher” Harad has taken over the responsibilities of team manager, relegating TG forward Draco Glaurung to the position of assistant.

A small group of wire-thin reporters mouse around the door to Gorgol “The Butcher” Harad’s office. Finally, one of them knocks on the door.

Before the second knock, the door flies open and The Butcher, towering in the doorway, glares at the reporters. An awkward few seconds follow and nobody dares to breathe.

“Well, come on in,” The Butcher says. He returns to his desk; he is wearing an Assegai Developments No. 5 Severus Snape jersey. “You’re all probably wondering why I’m wearing a Severus Snape jersey. It’s ’cause he’s a badass mofo! He is a beast. I admire that type of player. It’s a quality of which we pride ourselves in Turruth Gordur. Our players are feared and are deadly. That is why our main priority is to go out and maim the other team…and maybe score a few goals along the way. Sure, sure, we lost our first game, but we’ve rebounded well. I’m in charge now! As you can see, I’m actually in a good mood today.

“Please, serve yourself some tea. I have fig newtons in my drawer.”

All the reporters are shaking, looking nervously at each other.

“You would refuse my fig newtons, then?”

“Nooo sir... thank you!”

The Butcher tosses a box of fig newtons at the reporters.

“So, who did we just play? Ooooh yes...the Zwangzug. Psssh. This team is a joke! We beat them on the field and on the scoreboard! We enjoyed breaking them down, piece by piece, until their players needed assistance off the field at the end of the game.

“Did you see how forward Draco Glaurung just blew past all those defenders for his goal in the 56th minute? Brilliant!

“Gorbag Madril was excellent in goal, trapping all those weak shots from those weak players on the Zwangzug squad. Seriously, what a silly name. That doesn’t strike fear into anyone’s heart!

“But, Turruth Gordur does! We strike hard! And, the other teams better take notice. We are unrelenting and we will punish everyone that stands in our way. Even if we lose, we will go down gnashing and clawing.”

He lets out a loud laugh. The reporters all shake in their boots. One of them spills his tea on the bear skin rug in The Butcher’s office. A deep silence fills the room after the tinkle of the tea cup.

“Get out... get out, now.”

The reporters gather their notepads.

“GET OUT NOW!”

As the reporters scurry out of the room, The Butcher jumps out of his seat and throws a Wayne Rooney doll at them.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/zwangzug.png Zwangzug 0
http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/turruth_gordur.png Turruth Gordur 1

[ZWA]
None

[TG]
Draco Glaurung (56’)

Gorbag Madril (TG) earns his first clean sheet of the tournament.

OOC: I'm posting on behalf of Turruth Gordur, who has tried to post twice already and neither post was shown on the board. What gives?

ooc: AD, I'm not sure, ask a mod, they would maybe know, if you cant just post with AD and it'll be fine.

Jerry Dixon knew he didn't conform to many of the expected standards of a modern manager - he had no taste for obscenity, he was reserved when handling the media, a duty indeed he rather wished he could shirk, and he bore no great animosity to anyone. Jerry also didn't particularly care: so long as he had the support of the team. He very much did, with the younger players looking up to him as something approaching a kindly uncle, and the older ones finding in him simply a personable guy.

His team talk before the match had been typically brief, enjoining his players to do their best and avoid the sloppy errors that had permeated their first, albeit successful, performance. In training before they’d discussed the possible brutality of the Northern Bettians, but now that was set aside. They filed past him into the tunnel, and after a time he strolled out, the moderately sized stadium bursting out around him. He made his way to the dugout slowly, taking in the general atmosphere. More flags of recognisable colours waved and the air was louder with hearty songs of encouragement and hope. They’d be based at Jinktown for another day yet, and it didn’t seem the worst place to be settled.

He took up his customary spot. Once play began, assistants and advisors began running around him, flailing like rabid monkeys, shouting hoarse unintelligibles to the players, but Jerry remained rooted to the spot, broad feet planted and unsleeved arms crossed over his familiar blue sweater. He chewed incessantly – he could suck more like out of a packet of QuodMint than Dracula could from an entire convent – and said very little, except when players approached the byline, where he would quickly relay his latest instructions.

In the cool night air, driven through with the heavy scent of the ocean, he watched as the play flickered spasmodically. The Fire Ants – how unusual foreign teams could be even in simple matters such as name! – seemed keen to establish an early advantage, and though their defence was five-strong, Jerry winced every time the ball returned to Bettian feet, wondering whether this formation was truly the best for countering their attacking style. The ball was sent out for a corner.

Defending corners wasn’t the Quodites’ strong point. It was primarily a height issue. Once the ball was on the ground, he’d back his defenders to get it clear nine times out of ten. But before that, they were all, with Micky the sole exception, rather short. Sure enough, the ball cleared all of their heads, but was hit too close, and Furman – also reasonably tall, but not the most elegant (and probably by some way the least elegant) in the air – jumped out to collect. Play rolled on, and then a sharp break caught his players running back. Dave put in a fine sliding tackle to block off a potentially dangerous cross. The assistants were bellowing for the defence to get on their man.

The corner curled in, again missing two despairingly bobbing heads. Jerry didn’t fully catch what then transpired, but was sentenced to watch it in massive infinitum as it replayed endlessly on the vast screens surrounding him, whilst Bettian players and supporters alike went berserk. Some combination of post, heads, chests, a shot that seemed to cannon straight into Furman’s posterior, a couple of failed lunges…and a Fire Ant with just enough room to hoof the ball unceremoniously in at the back post.

His players trudged on, with Jerry speaking to Freddy as soon as he had the opportunity. “Next five-ten minutes, I want discipline. Don’t worry about attack, let’s just keep it simple, and keep them out.” The message was relayed around the team, who put it at the forefront of their minds for about forty-five seconds before a disruption to play as one of the Bettian defenders picked up a rather needless booking for felling Dennis caused them to forget all about it. Freddy’s free kick swam well over the bar, and the team collectively rocked onto the back foot again, as Northern Bettia came close three times: one long range shot curled back for a comfortable parry, one completely unacceptable mis-marking saw their striker waste a good opportunity from 20 yards, and one scuffed cross was accidentally caught by Guilermo’s knee and flew into the post. Another corner emerged, which was if anything even more scrappily defended, before Peter finally put the ball into orbit, and then a fourth, cleverly won by the Bettian winger.

With under ten minutes to an unenjoyable first half left – surprisingly, there’d been little to accrue injury time – Jerry’s chewing had reached a seemingly automated rate. With Dennis back to add some much needed heading ability and all three midfielders also crowing the edges of the box, Roger looked rather lonely up front. The corner was short, and Furman caught it cleanly, a slight sigh sweeping through Jerry’s sturdy frame. He hurled the ball like it was a hot potato, but it found Theo, who’d crept away on the left. Jerry couldn’t help but smile as the little chap, face set into a serious frown, charged as fast as his short legs would go. The others were in pursuit, but his only real option was to link up with Roger. The cross was fired, long and lofty, and Roger climbed halfway up the central defender’s back to get the advantage. He headed it squarely, wrong-footing the keeper and rippling the net. Jerry smiled and clapped loudly as the players celebrated. Peter came to the side to spray his face with water – central midfielders tended not to notice that it was cold – and they briefly discussed tactics.

A goal always enlivened his team, and as they resumed he was hopeful they’d see out the half more positively. In fact, they still looked tentative, but the Fire Ants were shattered, and failed to pick up on the occasional opportunity scrappily sent their way. Freddy and David were playing well together, and came close to scoring, first Freddy shooting from a hard angle and then David picking up the rebound and sending a half-volley smashing into the left post. A good throw from Theo, an attacking run by Roger, and a neat pass by Peter, and suddenly Dennis was unfurling a snorter of a shot past two defenders and two despairing hands.

His half-time talk was again brief, but positive, and full of big hand-claps and eager nodding. Speaking privately to each player, he was much more realistic, pointing out the errors and urging them to play tighter. They needed a good opening ten minutes, and as they charged out again, he felt that the night might just be theirs, if they could get one more goal. He also spoke with the substitutes, picking Bob, Benvolio and Bill to warm up. He wasn’t sure what changes would need to made yet, but he continually anxiously eyed the gap opening up in the middle when Peter couldn’t get back quick enough.

Almost instantly, they had to defend yet another corner – this would be something to talk about tomorrow, he knew – and then Freddy picked up a silly booking, losing his patience as the Bettian left wing cleverly baited him into jabbing for a ball. But otherwise, things went well. There weren’t too many promising attacks, but when they happened, they had numbers in support; the rest of the time, they seemed to control the ball well and looked in no great danger. Freddy hit an excellent cross, with Roger’s header well saved; Dino’s low volley was just inches wide; and David turned an opportunity to try a chip after weaving his way down the right, instead turning the ball in to Peter, who carelessly undercut it ten rows back.

The central chasm still gaped at him, but he was reasonably confident that Micky could cover it. He sent up a long pass to Peter, who took it well on his chest and turned sharply, dribbling with skill and then passing with precision. There was a tantalising race as the ball rolled freely on, keeper and Roger both hurtling towards it – but his striker just managed to get to it and send it under the oncoming figure. There was more celebration, but Jerry wasn’t interested in that, as he hastily planned tactical changes. Now was no time to sit back and invite a counterattack, but he needed to freshen his defence. As soon as he could speak to Freddy, he did: Peter was tired, but playing a full 90 minutes would be for the best, they agreed.

The fourth goal was as unexpected as the fourth. His players had sat back a little, toying in midfield while deciding whether to attack or just try to hold onto the lead, and bored Roger into taking matters into his own hands. Dropping deeper than usual, he tried to run an attacking arc through the defence, but found himself stumbling over a foot and hitting the churned turf. Those around him launched into the kind of melodramatic appeals Jerry so loathed, but the penalty was nonetheless given, and the air shrieked with both sets of supporters invoking every god they could think to name. Chewing impassively, he said one simple prayer: please don’t let Theo take the damn thing. Fortunately, it was Peter who stepped up. Jerry breathed in deeply as Bill clung onto his arm eagerly. The ball slotted neatly into the corner, and they exhaled together, smiling and shaking hands. Four-one up: and maybe more importantly, eleven-ten up. He pulled off Dennis and sent Benvolio out to make sure the numerical advantage was felt.

But his smile faded as he watched the Northern Bettians begin a despairing onslaught. Twice they came close, and a third time their replacement striker sent an admittedly fine shot into the net, Jerry grimacing slightly as Furman simply helped it on its way. As he clapped and called for a strong last ten minutes, grimly observing that now there was injury time when he really didn’t need it, there was a brief recovery, with Dino managing to get a shot in, only to have it well blocked, but then the surges resumed. Tired midfield legs couldn’t track it down, and the defence was again under siege as their sub running mazy rings around Marberger and Williams to put the Fire Ants within reach of an equaliser.

As Bob jogged up and down, preparing to go on, Jerry ran over the instructions for solidifying the defensive wall with him. Roger trudged off, raising his weary arms to acknowledge the applause, and Jerry slapped him on the back. Bob ran out shouting orders like he’d just left the trenches, while Dino took it upon himself to abandon the left flank and take up post in front of the defence. The seconds ticked down: a free kick drifted harmlessly into the crowd, a corner was emphatically punched clear, and clearances, tackles and interceptions abounded as everything was thrown into preserving the scoreline. When the whistle finally blew, Jerry sagged with relief.

Even the substitutes left the field like they’d had lead grafted onto their kneecaps, and he mentally added fitness to the list of issues to be discussed. There was no point winning for an hour if they couldn’t raise a toe to defend it by the end. He planned out a long address on tactical errors and better cooperation in midfield. But out loud, his words remained short and comforting – “well played, good job, nice work” – as he patted the backs and tapped the arms of his troops.

He took one last long look around the stadium, fans in amber and black pouring out to leave residues of waste, discarded programs and empty red seating, and turned to head back inside. The next game would be a big test of nerve and endurance; but tomorrow was a long way away right now.

BE CALM TELEVISION: TOUGH GAME AND LOSS
Commented by Doctor Santiago Sampaio
Match report with comments of Doctor Haroldo Sassarel
- with in-game comments of Doctor Vittorio Mendonça (in light blue) –

http://img253.imageshack.us/img253/3815/argxuru2spvj5.jpg
Estresse Intenso had a good start, but missed too many chances

DR. SAMPAIO: “Welcome to Be Calm Television sport channel. It’s really cold here, this city is as cold as Dunboor in Cafundéu, and this is very cold. After a good first game, Doctor Landau decided to put the game on our only television channel, patients, so let’s tell about the Baptism of Fire. In a difficult and violent game, the Landau Institute’s team lost the game against Schorteskatascansolani with a goal in the last minutes of the game. One player of each team was sent off and Godói had to leave the game injured during the first half. In terms of quality, this game was common, but was exciting because of the difficulty and because the game was very close.”

DR. SASSAREL: “Yes, this one was a very difficult, cold and complicated game. We lost, but we did our best and could win, but the other team could use their goal opportunities better and this is very important. But I’m confident that our squad is very good and can qualify easily. At least I hope. This game against... er... wow, it’s a really long name, I don’t know if I can spell it right... well, this game won’t destroy our confidence.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “So, let’s go to the highlights of this game. The team had to use clothes with long sleeves as our country is a hot one, our team is the white one while the opponent is the blue one. Estresse Intenso started the game using the wings, with all the speed of our players trying to reach Gabalán with good passes. The team was performing very well and reaching the opponent’s area with danger. Schorteskatascansolani was also very accurate in its plays and the players started to create some very dangerous plays.”

DR. SASSAREL: “Dos Alpes was very good in this game, but I think that Araújo didn’t play very well, although he played the whole game and even Bogdan was subbed. Schor... I don’t know how can you spell this name correctly, Santiago... Schor... well, our opponent had a strong midfield and a secure defense, and this decided the game to them.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “Sure, but we had the first chance with Dumitrache, who passed the ball to Pindaré in the area. Pindaré crosses and Gabalán heads the ball... wide, what a missed chance! Schorteskatascansolani replied minutes after with Cornfeld, who received a long pass from Blackburn and shot. Lucklily, our goalkeeper Prunella made a great save.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “And now we go to the most polemical play in the game. Flores made a really good play in the left side to Dos Alpes, but the midfielder lost the ball. So, our opponent start a fast counterattack and the ball reached Brightwell. Caldwell was waiting for the ball inside the area while Godói was marking him. Suddenly, Caldwell elbowed Godói twice! Why? He broke Godói’s nose and was sent off, and many players from both teams started to discuss, so the referee had to act.”

DR. SASSAREL: “It was indeed very strange. It was violent and irrational, but we don’t know why he made it. Godói, crying and sending kisses to his “fans”, had to substituted by Marinho and will have to be out for two games. But we probably won’t miss him, dear patients. We have ever an in-game comment from the coach, Doctor Mendonça”:

“Oh my god, he broke my player’s nose. If the referee doesn’t show him the red card I’ll invade the field... ah, he did. No problem, then.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “And few minutes after this play, the Institute scored. Sardinha ran shouting and passed the ball to Bogdan, who dribbled an opponent and shot to score the goal. After the goal, few good chances were seen, as the battle for the ball in the midfield was intense, and I thought that we would finish the first half winning.”

DR. SASSAREL: “It was a good goal, Bogdan is very intelligent and the cave man Sardinha has a good vision.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “But they were able to score too, in the end of the first half. Kapetanopoulos dribbled Pindaré and passed the ball to Sturegård, who shot to score. After this play, the first half ended. For the second half, Schorteskatascansolani made changes. Fonsek entered in Elliot’s place.”

DR. SASSAREL: “Our coach didn’t make changes, saying that the team was playing well.”

http://img253.imageshack.us/img253/5760/argxurusplo8.jpg
The game was very tough and difficult

DR. SAMPAIO: “And the team started the second half playing very well, having a good chance when Dos Alpes dribbled a player and passed the ball to Gabalán. The lethal striker invaded the area, but was marked by two men and made a bad shot, easy for Bower to save. After fifteen minutes of a good game, with at least two good goal chances for each team, a problem. Dumitrache stopped in the field. He was delirious and wasn’t concentrated in the game anymore.”

DR. SASSAREL: “He looked really bad, and one player of the opponent team even crashed with him, of course not on purpose. The coach acted immediately”:

“Dumitrache is having problems. Did you give the medicine to him, Borges? What? You gave him the wrong medicine and when you realized it there was no time to fix your mistake? Unbelievable! Look what have you done, you are fired of the National Team! Return immediately to the Landau Institute! Now I’ll have to make a change... come here, Mendes, you’ll enter in Dumitrache’s place.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “And Mendes entered well in the game, creating a good play, passing the ball to Manga and receiving it back inside the area, but the goalkeeper saved. The opponents replied with Cornfeld, who received the ball from Vishnevskij and shot, but sent the ball over the bar. Tired, Cornfeld left the game and Priest entered in his place. Bogdan also asked to leave, and Mendonça had to put Ponte Pênsil in his place.”

DR. SASSAREL: “At that time, the game was too fast and difficult, so the players were very tired. Bogdan isn’t a young player, so it’s understandable that he had to leave. And Cornfeld received a violent foul from Sardinha few minutes ago, so he could be injured, although I’m not certain. The game started to slow down and both teams started to control the ball, stopping on the opponent’s area and didn’t entering inside the area, having few good goal chances.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “With ten minutes left for the end of the game, the draw seemed the final result, as both teams stopped to attack well. Estresse Intenso had a good chance. Dos Alpes passed the ball to Sardinha, but the goalkeeprer Bower took the ball. Sardinha then kicked Bower and was sent off, as he already had a yellow card. He said that he didn’t want to kick Bower. With pains, the goalkeeper left and Brandao entered in the game.”

DR. SASSAREL: “A violent foul made by Sardinha. He really deserved the red card. Hopefully the goalkeeper is fine. I think that we need to make some exams on the players before putting them in the National Team to see if they have some kind of problem. It would solve this problems. Sardinha is a good player, but a bit crazy. Let’s see who Mendonça will put in his place.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “The goal was scored in the last minutes of the game. Viitaniemi passed the ball to Kapetanopoulos, who dribbled one opponent and shot with strength to score a nice goal, helping his team to defeat Landau Institute’s players. After that, the game ended and the coach talked with us”:

“We weren’t expecting to suffer this goal, but it happened. We played a good game and if we continue playing well we can easily qualify and have a good campaign in this competition. I’ll have to make some changes for the next game in the team, but the style will continue the same(+1, according to specialists), as two players won’t be able to play and Araújo wants to visit the city cemetery. The line-up will be: Prunella, Pindaré, Manga and Marinho; Bergue, Dumitrache, Dos Alpes, Bogdan and Flores; Ponte Pênsil and Gabalán.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “Now see the details of the game”:

http://img255.imageshack.us/img255/2736/uruxsco2spxe1.jpg
Players complain about Sardinha's red card

ESTRESSE INTENSO 1x2 SCHORTESKATASCANSOLANI

Place: George Town Nova Stadium, in Bazalonia.
Attendance: 58,100 people.
MOTM: Kapetanopoulos (SCH).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/estresse_intenso.png ESTRESSE INTENSO: Prunella, Pindaré, Godói (Marinho 28’), Manga and Flores; Sardinha, Dumitrache (Mendes 55’), Dos Alpes, Bogdan (Ponte Pênsil 71’) and Araújo; Gabalán.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schorteskatascansolani.png SCHORTESKATASCANSOLANI: Bower (Brandao 80’), Vishnevskij, Viitaniemi and Alexander; Brightwell, Caldwell, Elliot (Fonsek 45’), Blackburn and Kapetanopoulos; Cornfeld (Priest 71’) and Sturegård.

Goals: EIT: Bogdan 26’.
SCH: Sturegård 45’+ , Kapetanopoulos 87’.

Toast Newsflash...

Liz Kitten: "Hi, this is Liz Kitten reporting for Toast TV at the Baptism of Fire tournamnet in Quakmybush. Some exciting breaking news for you here...There are worms in Quakmybush! They were discovered by experienced midfield engine Peter Salmons on the Toast training field. No sooner had Salmons discovered the worm, that the rest of the squad and staff were looking, and finding worms. I managed to grab defender Spontaneous Violence for a few words. Spontaneous, have you seen the worms?

Spontaneous Violence: "Yes, all the lads were tremendously excited when Pete found one, they seem very friendly as well. Similar to our own worms back home."

Liz: "Wow, what effect has this discovery had on the squad as a whole?"

Spontaneous: "As you can imagine, spirits around the camp have been very high and I feel that our group morale has been lifted. We all are starting to settle in better and are now looking forward to our next game."

Liz (to camera): "There you have it. Good news from the Toast team. This is Liz Kitten for Toast TV in Quakmybush. Now back to the studio for some butter news from your region."

Matchday 3

Group C

Croisland 1-1 The Aqua Moose @ Drago Soccer Field
Altanar 0-1 Bartonstein @ Stadium Verona

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Bartonstein 3 1 2 0 5 4 1 5
2 Altanar 3 1 1 1 5 2 3 4
3 The Aqua Moose 3 0 3 0 4 4 0 3
4 Croisland 3 0 2 1 3 7 -4 2


Group D

Schorteskatascansolani 6-0 Houersteinzer @ TeleBaz Stadium
Estresse Intenso 7-1 San Monticaz @ SeaBazalope Arena

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Schorteskatascansolani 3 3 0 0 11 1 10 9
2 Estresse Intenso 3 2 0 1 12 3 9 6
3 San Monticaz 3 0 1 2 1 10 -9 1
4 Houersteinzer 3 0 1 2 0 10 -10 1


MD4 Fixtures:

Group C
Bartonstein vs. Croisland @ CBBC Dome
The Aqua Moose vs. Altanar @ George Town Nova Stadium

Group D
San Monticaz vs. Schorteskatascansolani @ Via Voleta Dome
Houersteinzer vs. Estresse Intenso @ Trevton City Enclosed Field

Group A
Turruth Gordur 1-2 Northern Bettia
Zwangzug 0-2 Quintessence of Dust

Table
Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Quintessence of Dust 3 3 0 0 8 3 5 9
2 Northern Bettia 3 2 0 1 7 5 2 6
3 Turruth Gordur 3 1 0 2 2 4 -2 3
4 Zwangzug 3 0 0 3 0 5 -5 0

Group B
Kelssek 6-0 Etres Vrais
Random toast 7-0 Cesibia

Table
Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Kelssek 3 3 0 0 13 0 13 9
2 Random toast 3 1 1 1 8 5 3 4
3 Etres Vrais 3 1 1 1 2 7 -5 4
4 Cesibia 3 0 0 3 0 11 -11 0

Matches for tomorrow.

Quintessence of Dust vs Turruth Gordur (Jinkton City Field)
Northern Bettia vs Zwangzug (Hughes Stadium)

Cesibia vs Kelssek (Dreton Center)
Etres Vrais vs Random toast (Ruckus Room)

Greetings, this is Master Guillaume on Channel 54 here at Telebaz Stadium. Our players have the highest compliments to our host country; this is a very comfortable stadium, very clean and spacious. It can seat ninety-five thousand people at the most, which is more than even the Grostadion being constructed back home. There seem to be only three or four thousand people here. The place looks very very empty. Almost everyone can get front row seating. As we all know international football has not caught on in Schorteskatascansolani. Some people don't even realize we're playing in the cup. Over at the National Grounds right now there are one hundred and thirty six thousand people in attendance watching the Interregionals. So, not many Schorteskatascansolanians decided to show up. As for Hoeursteinzer, they have an even bigger problem. Their team isn't here.

Nope, there is no sign of the Houersteinzer team. The Co-ordinator is making many calls to their hotel which are not being answered. The Schor have come onto the field and are unsure of what to do. Some of the players are having a pushup contest to amuze the fans. Not exactly what you might think: the bigger players are picking up the smaller players and pushing them up into the air. So far Elliot has been able to send Pazura approximately seventeen inches, but some are trying to better that...

Ah! Somebody has had an idea. They are going to do the national anthem, but instead of just doing the first seven verses like are usually done, they are going to do all two hundred and twenty-nine verses, plus all the choruses. I think they want us to begin...

Kdoooooozzzz su BOOOOOOZIIIIIII, boooooooyyyyyovNITZZZZIIIIIIII.....

[An hour plus a few odd minutes have passed and the Hoeursteinzer team has not shown up yet. The stadium is on the 187th verse...well, nobody has any voice left, and the band is barely playing, and nobody really can remember which verse comes next, but they are making a valiant effort, when a fan suffers cardiac arrest.]

ni.......tra zu plooon....stardt, zon, ah, ah, um, oooooooordcvas on plaowwwwer...........da ~~~!!@#...>>??????

Ladies and gentlemen, we are very sorry to interrupt the singing of the great national anthem, but a fan has suffered cardiac arrest. The doctors and medics are there. This is more interesting than anything that has happened for a while. I wonder if he is going to die? Here is a doctor. Doctor, can you make a statement? The worthy Doctor cannot make a statement. Here is a medic. The medic is willing to make a statement, but he has been singing the national anthem so he has no voice left. Who here can tell Teleray what is going on? Ah, there is somebody. The assistant janitory? Eh, here, put on this doctor's cloak...and hold this stethoscope....and this toothbrush, and this stuffed alligator...mess up your hair a little more...there! Now, what has happened? The fan was dying of boredom. Qui mort, we're all doing that. Why did the moron have to suffer a heart attack because of it? That was his preferred means of death? Doesn't he realize that suicides are illegal in Schorteskaphastanslvani? Qui mort! I am flustering my words up@! I cannot even pronounce the name of the Homeland? I thought we were going to play some Futbal? What is happening? tell me this is a dream?

We're back, folks. Yes, I'm fine. Just a bit of water and I'm all right. Yes, somebody has had another idea. MacCulloch, Torpey, Alexander, Elmes, and Steen will form one team, the PseudoHoeursteinzans. The rest of the team - the offensive midfielders and the forwards, will play Schorteskatascansolani. Yes, let's see some Futbal! SCHOOOOOOOORRRRRR!!!!!

[Hereupon I interrupt my transcript of the game broadcast.]

DESPATCHES:

After a few irregularities which you should probably not tell anybody about (it was on Teleray) we won our game against Houersteinzer by 6-0. Our next squad will contain Luhovy in goal, Nioplias, Devold, Salari, and Bernard in defense, Zakopal, Fousek, and Platt in midfield, and Kopacka, Ferguson, and Winterburn as forwards. Reserve bench will be Sturegård, Pasios, Alexander, and Duke. We will play Hoeursteinzer again at Via Voleta Dome. The town seems to be a very nice place. Hopefully the other team will show up this time.

Yours,
Wenzel

FOR IMMEDIATE AND RAPID TRANSIT TO HOMELAND

ooc: AD, I'm not sure, ask a mod, they would maybe know, if you cant just post with AD and it'll be fine.
OOC:
It's a anti-spam policy they've started on here - any nations with less than ten posts (like this un here) have to have all their posts approved by a moderator before they show up.

(EDIT: except today it seems, as both my messages have shown up immediately...)

The New Cleethorpes Enquirer
Quodites stay on top

Sun finally came to the pitches of Quakmybush, warming Jinkton City Field as Quintessence of Dust ran out to play their third qualifying match in the pre-World Cup 'Baptism of Fire' competition. But change in temperature fortunately didn't induce a change in fortunes, and the team notched up its third successive victory, with a solid win against Zwangzug. Goals from midfielders Frederic Renard and Peter Rogers made the most of a sturdy defensive performance to see the team to a 2-0 scoreline.

A goalless first half was nonetheless packed with good football, with several exciting opportunities coming close. The woodwork rattled at both ends and corners stretched into double figures, but neither team could capitalise in the final third, and went in level. The Quodites emerged with an attacking burst of twenty minutes that saw them finally score two goals.

First, Renard, who enjoyed a good game, received a pass from Yellowback, who played even better, and cut inside the Zwangzug to shoot from his unfavoured left foot from 25 yards, still finding the near corner with satisfying aplomb. Then Rogers, whose form this tournament has been most encouraging after a lacklustre and injury-plagued 2006, finished a 15-pass move in style, demonstrating great control to flick the ball over his marker and calmly volley home.

The display was composed but by no means perfect, with some clumsy errors still being made. Three bookings were also issued, the team's largest tally to date: Roger Longhorn was disappointingly booked for a rather obvious dive, Michel Marberger found himself in trouble for a rash challenge early in the second half, and towards the end a tired Guilermo Azzinio, who had defended admirably up till then, lashed out to fell an oncoming attacker, moments before he himself was fouled.

Quintessence of Dust now lead Group A by three clear points over the Northern Bettia 'Fire Ants', but will need to keep winning games in order to be assured of progression to the next round. Their next fixture is the first rematch, against Turruth Gordur. The previous encounter saw a 2-0 victory, but one described by coach Jeremy Dixon as "not wholly satisfactory". They will be anxious to try for a victory to maintain their present standing.

Dixon has indicated that he will make at least one change to the eleven that has started the three previous games, given Azzinio's injury: his knee received a sharp knock late on in the, forcing him to leave the field on a stretcher. The team medic has indicated that the injury is only mild, but Dixon has decided in favour of avoiding the risk to his sweeper. Robert 'Bob' Robson will start the game in his place, but it is likely Dixon will begin more active experimentation with his reserve midfielders and strikers.

An additional consideration will be that six players, including Azzinio, are now on a yellow card. Discipline will be important, as a second yellow will mean suspension for one game, and Dixon will be keen to avert the possibility of key players being forcably sidelined.

Quintessence of Dust 2 (0) v. (0) 0 Zwangzug
Jinktown City Field, Quakmybush
Team: Furman; Yellowback, Marberger, G. Azzinio, Williams, Littlefellow (c); Renard, Rogers, Achten; Longhorn, Young.
Goals: Renard (59); Rogers (65)
Bookings: Longhorn (40); Marberger (47); G. Azzinio (82)
Subs: B. Azzinio --> Longhorn (68); R. Robson --> G. Azzinio (82)

Along side the Baptism of Fire, A Bazalonian Cultural festival is in full swing to introduce all visitors to the nation to the staggering array there is in Bazalonian culture.

From sports including Bazalonian Rules Football (OOC: Aussie Rules Football) to paintings & sculptures to books, movies and plays as well as the more geekier elements including the SuperDude comic which shot to recent internation fame during the 31st World Cup.

Events and exhibitions are being held throughout the nation particularily focusing in the cities where games are being held.

OOC EDIT: If you have any questions what this might be just ask... oh and there will certainly be Bazalope Burgers aplenty in Bazalonia during this period

Group B
Kelssek 6-0 Etres Vrais
Random toast 7-0 Cesibia

Table
Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Kelssek 3 3 0 0 13 0 13 9
2 Random toast 3 1 1 1 8 5 3 4
3 Etres Vrais 3 1 1 1 2 7 -5 4
4 Cesibia 3 0 0 3 0 11 -11 0



Liz Kitten: "Hiya, This is Liz Kitten again reporting for Toast TV from sunny Quakmybush. Good news here is that the toast team have secured their first victory in the Baptism of Fire...and what a victory! 7 - 0! They have turned around their poor goal difference in one game and now look good for qualification from the group B, now being nicknamed 'The Group Of Wormy Goodness'. I have the toast striker, Cheese junior with me now. So Cheese, what do you put this resurgence in form down to?

Cheese junior: "Hi Liz, well, we took a while to settle in, but now with the whole worm thing the whole squad is still buzzing and it showed on the pitch. It was good to get my first goals of the tournament and hopefully, now we can move on from this positive result."

Liz: "Well, it certainly was a fantastic result and everyone from Random Toast who couldn't make the trip out here have been glued to the TV to watch you guys."

Cheese: "Yes, we have a lot of support here in Quakmybush. It has been inspiring to the team, almost like a twelve man on the pitch.

Liz: "Thanks Cheese, and good luck for the rest of the tournament. This was Liz Kitten reporting from Quakmybush at the Baptism of Fire tournament. Now back to the studio for the annual Woman and Dog Wheelchair race from Disco City."

toast stats:

toaster 1 - 1 Etres Vrais scorers: potato 38
toaster 0 - 4 Kelssek scoroers: -
toaster 7 - 0 Cesibia scorers: cheese jnr 15, 28, 78, cheesy c 44, violence 55, salmons 64, 88
teams:
match 1 B Cheese switchblade spandit potato (krankl 85) tubs (bean 60) violence salmons smith cheese jnr c cheese crisp (fair 80)
match 2 B Cheese switchblade spandit potato tubs violence (sanchez 77) salmons smith cheese jnr c cheese (fair 65) predictable

match 3 B Cheese switchblade (andre 76) spandit potato tubs violence salmons smith cheese jnr (beaureau 84) c cheese crisp (sanchez 55)

The Anyuna Observer: today's weather - a bit shit

Late Show Sees Northerners Through

Northern Bettia........2 (Hiyashibara 80, Devanallt 82)
Turruth Gordur........1 (Glaurung 45)

Northern Bettia are a funny old bunch, aren't they? Most teams play football matches over ninety minutes, but lately it seems the Fire Ants are content to just show up for an hour or so and then actually start over the closing stages.

Take this latest game for example. Sure, it was a victory. Sure, it's another three points in the bag. Sure, they managed to get two of the opposition players sent off. And sure, they don't seem to suffer from the same red hoodoo that has undone their Bettian counterparts in the recent past.

Yes dear readers, the Fire Ants were pitted against a team wearing the most evil colour in creation, and yes, they prevailed! However, many Fire Ants fans may well be asking just how they managed it.

The first half was perhaps surprising something of a non-event, given the preference for attacking football showed by the two teams so far. With both teams piling strong tackles in left right and centre, the half became something of a stop/start affair as the referee struggled to maintain control. The only event of note came right on the stroke of half-time. After a short period of pressure from Turruth Gordur, they gained a corner after a speculative Glaurung shot was palmed around the post by Ozeki. The captain was on hand to sidefoot the set-piece into the goal after a failed clearance from Hanahairo.

The second half saw a change in tack from the home side - realising that they were getting nowhere against the eleven men of Turruth Gordur, they set out to gain the advantage in the best way they know. That was the cue for all sorts of shananigans - diving, feigning injury, and generally making the most of every challenge in an effort to gain the upper hand. Slowly but surely their ploy started to work as the oppostion gained an ever increasing number of yellow cards. All those bookings eventually took their toll as Sangria got his marching orders thanks to a sly dive from Hiyashibara just outside the penalty area after 74 minutes. After some desperate protests from the red-carded player's team-mates, a second red card was produced after Magda said something he really shouldn't have.

With their two-man advantage secured, Northern Bettia drasticaly turned the screws and they poured forward in search of a miraculous recovery. And came it did in dramatic fashion, as Hiyashibara twisted the knife by pulling Northern Bettia level after producing a peach of a curling shot from the far corner of the penalty area. One goal quickly became two thank to Gwrlais Devanallt's brave diving header, which connected to Idasenai's hopeful long cross to send the ball into the top corner and the travelling fans into delerium.

Thanks to this win, Northern Bettia are now three points clear of Turruth Gordur, but still three behind Quintessence of Dust who continued their impressive run with a 2-0 win over Zwangzug, who find themselves without a single point and a goal despite some promising signs. The Fire Ants will be hoping to continue that dismal run as they face off against them in the 'return' matchup, played in the Hughes Stadium here in sunny Revena.

Can we expect more fireworks as the Fire Ants try to close the gap at the top?




Fixtures / Results

MD1: Zwangzug.............W 2-0
MD2: Quintessence of Dust L 3-4
MD3: Turruth Gordur.......W 2-1
MD4: Zwangzug................
MD5: Quintessence of Dust
MD6: Turruth Gordur

Fauxham, Bazalonia - that delightful city sitting on the north coast. Here, just as it is elsewhere, the Bazalonian cultural festival is in full swing. Hiro, a thick set bullet-headed lance-corporal in the Northern Bettian army, is making the most of his off-time. He's sitting at a table of a roadside café with a bunch of his mates, downing copious amounts of the local brew whilst taking in a street performance, and trying unsuccessfully to work out just what it's all about.

Just then, a tinny electronic version of 'Brothers of Bettia' begins ringing out from his trouser pocket. He takes his mobile out, peers at the screen, then takes the call.

"Massa you bastard! Y'alright?" he shouts in his rough deep voice, the sunlight glinting off his newly-shaved head.

"Yeah, alright mate? You?"

"Not bad, not bad at all."

"Listen mate, where the fuck are ya?"

"Erm...." Hiro hesitates before whispering. "Where are we again? Ah yes... we're in Fauxhan."

"WHERE?!?"

"Fauxhan, you deaf twat!"

"And where the hell's that?"

"Jeez mate, it's in Bazalonia, where d'ya think?"

"And just what the hell are you doing there?"

"We're just - ahem - immersing ourselves in the local culture. You know, sampling the local beer, scoffing the local food, checking out the local talent - hel-looo ladies!" he says with a lusty glint in his eye as a couple of fine-looking fillies saunters past them, accompanied by a shedload of wolf-whistles from the visiting Northern Bettian mob, "...and, you know, upholding the national honour by twatting anyone who looks at us funny."

"No mate, I mean what are you doing in Bazalonia?"

"For fuck's sake, whaddya think we're doin'? We're watching the Fire Ants kick the shit out of everyone else... apparently they'll also be playing some football!"

"Oh yeah? So, you're coming to the next match then?"

"Course we are! It'll be a piece of piss to blag some tickets. Umm... where IS the next match being played?"

"Quakmybush, same as all our other games."

Upon hearing this, Hiro's jaw drops in comical fashion.

"Quakmybush? Quakmybush?! You're pulling my pilsner, right?"

"Nah you twonk! We're in Group A, playing all our games in Quakmybush. Didn't you notice the thousands of Northern Bettians majestically thronging the streets round your way?"

"Well, no."

"Exactly... 'cos we're all over here, int they? Best shift your arse over 'ere, sharpish!"

The street performers are rudely interupted by a cacophony of screeching chairs and smashing glasses as the Northern Bettian crew jump out of their seats and race down the street.

"Get outta the way you ponces! Right, airport, airport.... where's the bloody airport?!"

Memms preceding a Ketrian (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ketrianism) worship service:

<WiseOne> Before we begin, I would like to take this opportunity to honor Jacob Barons, our spiritual brother who is competing in the Baptism of Fire.
<mcq3> baptism is 4 xians lol
User:mcq3 has been banned for 64 seconds
<WiseOne> Jacob, is there anything you'd like to tell us about?
<Jacob*> It's going well. We haven't scored a goal yet, but we played against Quintessence of Dust and they didn't try to kill us, which we almost unanimously view as an improvement: Andrew's an odd sort. It was a very well-played game, and the Quintessence squad just outplayed us.
<Jacob*> On the other hand, the Northern Bettia team, and Turruth Bordur to a lesser extent-though I didn't get to play them!-have been dangerous. The Fire Ants are hive-minders, of course.
<brillianC> howvu ben treted?
<Jacob*> Can't complain. I feel like I'm misjudged because of my religion, but it got me off with a yellow card when others got reds.
<WiseOne> Remember to play with honor.
<Jacob*> I strive to always. :) It'll be tricky though: we've got Northern Bettia again next.
<WiseOne> Noble competition glorifies Toomin. And now, let us step into the lair of the dreth. Please tune your speakers for optimum performance of a brass arrangement of JARD.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/72/Band_logo.png

BE CALM TELEVISION: AMAZING VICTORY WITH AMAZING PERFORMANCE
Commented by Doctor Santiago Sampaio
With comments of Doctor Haroldo Sassarel
- with in-game comments of Doctor Vittorio Mendonça -

http://img265.imageshack.us/img265/3231/itaxspaska1.jpg
Landau's players started the game scoring three goals

DR. SAMPAIO: “Hello, my friends, patients of the Landau Institute. Once again we meet to comment about our National Team. The last game of the Estresse Intenso National Team was simply incredible. We scored seven goals and had many other goal chances, while our opponent, San Monticaz, only had two good chances, scoring in one of them. Our players were inspired and did their best, winning this game with a very comfortable result.”

DR. SASSAREL: “Yes, Santiago, this game was unusual. Our team could easily invade the opponent area and dominated the game since the start. I wasn’t expecting such a good result, and I’m really happy to see the Institute players having excellent performances like this one. I think that Mendonça’s formation was good, as Ponte Pênsil added more offensive power to the team, although Gabalán is still the main scorer of the squad. I liked Dos Alpes’ performance too, his passes were excellent. Bergue played well as a wing-back. Well, all the players played well.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “So let’s go to the highlights of the game. Well, this game had so many goals that only one or two highlights won’t be goals. Estresse Intenso started the game very motivated and with will to fight, controlling the ball and starting fast and strong attacks. San Monticaz retreated. Before the end of the first minute, Gabalán received a pass from Bergue and started to run. He dribbled two players, both fell on the ground. Then, he nutmegged a third defender and made a roulette dribble on the fourth. The goalkeeper left the goal to try to save, but Gabalán only hit the ball, which went over the goalkeeper and inside the goal. A marvelous goal.”

DR. SASSAREL: “A masterpiece. He looked like a class player in this play. He surely is the best player of the whole squad, and the one who can give us many good results. Dribbled four players, and finished with style. His own coach was surprised with this play, but after the goal had to admit that Gabalán made something that he thought that was impossible”:

“Good Bergue, now pass it to Gabalán. He got it, but he’s still in the midfield... he dribbled one... two... they even fell. You did right Gabalán, now pass the ball to either Ponte or Bogdan, they are in good positions. No, Gabalán, don’t try to dribble, pass the ball. Oh no, he’ll try again... great, he dribbled! Great job, now pass the ball. PASS THE BALL! He isn’t listening to me, he’ll lose the ball. LOOK AT PONTE! Oh no, he’ll try again, he doesn’t have team spirit... what an amazing dribble! Unbelievable, he dribbled four opponents! Marvelous job, now pass the ball and Bogdan will have just to kick the ball to score. Wait, he won’t pass the ball? What is he doing? LOOK AT BOGDAN, PLEASE! No, don’t try, the goalkeeper will save, he’s too close. STOP! Oh no, he’ll try... a chip shot... and he scored! Incredible, I couldn’t imagine that, he’s great. Better return to the bench, this way he won’t come talking to me saying that he knew what he was doing...”

DR. SAMPAIO: “But this was just the start of the game. Less than two minutes later, another goal. This time, a counterattack started after Flores took the ball from an opponent. He passed it to Dumitrache, who dribbled a player and passed the ball to Dos Alpes. The midfielder crossed the ball and Gabalán headed it to score the second goal of the game.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “San Monticaz didn’t have the force to try to recover, and Estresse Intenso could easily took the control of the game, creating good plays and playing for fun. Soon another goal was scored. Bogdan received the ball from Pindaré and passed to Ponte Pênsil, who shot with strength to the goal. The goalkeeper saved, but gave the rebound to Gabalán, who dribbled an opponent and the goalkeeper, and entered inside the goal together with the ball, scoring his third goal in the game in less than ten minutes.”

DR. SORRAREL: “At that point the Landau Institute players were playing in a very superior level. Perfect passes, plays and finishes, don’t giving space for San Monticaz players to try to score. Dominating the game, they started to put less strength in their attacks, taking care of the defense to avoid suffering counterattacks. But they could still attack with danger, and had some chances with Dumitrache, Bergue and Gabalán. The coach was delighted after the third goal”:

“GOAL! Yes, Gabalán scored again! We’re playing like we’ve never played before. The midfield is working, the attackers finish well, the defenders stop their attacks. Everything is perfect, and we can score even more. Maybe Landau will increase my salary after this game...”

DR. SAMPAIO: “The team surely slowed down after the third goal. Good goal chances appeared, of course, as one in the twentieth minute, when Dos Alpes shot and the ball hit the post, or when Ponte Pênsil took a free kick and Gabalán took the rebound, but the ball went wide. It’s true too that San Monticaz started some kind of recover, rebuilding the defense and winning some ball possession, having even a goal chance, but Prunella saved.”

DR. SORRAREL: “Yes, they started to play better and because of that Estresse Intenso wasn’t dominating the game anymore, losing some of the ball possession in the midfield. Did you notice, Santiago, that all San Monticaz’s players are unknown, amateur players? Maybe this helped our team.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “Yes, they’re all amateurs, but I know many good amateur players, and after the twentieth minute, they weren’t playing so bad. But, returning to the game, Estresse Intenso decided to return to attack and pressed the opponent team. Finally, the goal came, more than thirty minutes after the last goal. Bergue crossed the ball to the area, the goalkeeper punched it. Dumitrache got the rebound and passed the ball to Gabalán, who shot to the goal. The ball hit many players and remained with Ponte Pênsil, who shot and scored the goal.”

DR. SORRAREL: “This goal was confusing, after Gabalán’s shot many players hit the ball and Ponte Pênsil was lucky to get it. Good for him and good for the Landau Institute!”

http://img364.imageshack.us/img364/6649/wc94034soi7.jpg
Ponte scores from a free kick

DR. SAMPAIO: “After the fourth goal, not many things happened and the first half ended. Before the beginning of the second half, the coach had some problems with the defender Marinho and had to substitute him during halftime. This was the only change that he did during halftime. He said why he changed Marinho”:

“After finishing the first half with a result of four against zero, I thought that our team didn’t need any change. But Marinho came to me and said that he had a vision that he would be injured if he played the second half, and that would be a serious injury. I tried to convince him to continue playing, but he believe in his visions, so it was better to change him and make a basic formation, a four-four-two. Now he just told me that Estresse Intenso will win this game by the result of seven against one. Let’s see if he get this one right.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “When the second half started, it was clear that Estresse Intenso wouldn’t have the same easy work that they had in the first half to score. San Monticaz’s defense started to stop plays and had a good second half start. Their counterattacks started to be very dangerous, and Landau’s players weren’t expecting for this. San Monticaz even had an incredible goal chance, but Manga saved over the line.”

DR. SORRAREL: “San Monticaz was really improving in the game, but Estresse Intenso could adapt to their “new” opponent and returned to play better, creating good goal chances. After some complicated minutes, our team returned to dominate. And our midfield was reinforced with César Nobre.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “Then, another goal. César Nobre invaded the area and shot. A defender blocked and the ball went to the midfield. Now look at Dos Alpes. He asks for the ball, he orders Bogdan to pass the ball to him, and Bogdan obeys. Then, the midfielder shot from the left wing and the ball went directly to the right corner of the goal. Magnificent. After the goal, Estresse Intenso returned to a more conservative style of play, but San Monticaz lost all the hopes for a better result.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “After more than ten minutes of missed counterattacks and bad finishes to the goal, Estresse Intenso scores again. Bergue ran to the attack and was fouled near the area. The referee, of course, gave him the yellow card. Ponte Pênsil took the free kick and scored the goal.”

DR. SORRAREL: “He is really a god free kick taker. Then, with a result of six against zero, there was little to do. San Monticaz couldn’t expect to recover and the result was already more than good for Landau Institute’s players.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “The game was reaching its ending when Estresse Intenso had to face another problem with one of the players. César Nobre started to cough and asked to leave the game, saying that he caught a very dangerous flu and must leave immediately to take his medicines, all the two hundred and twenty seven of them. Furious, the coach substituted him, but complained with his assistants. He also decided to put a newcomer in Flores’ place”:

“Wait, what’s happening, César? What? You are sick and want to leave? No way, you’re hypocondriac, you are ever sick, be calm and this will pass, there’s no need to worry... no you won’t die, believe me, I’m your doctor... okay, okay, don’t cry, I’ll substitute you and you can take all your medicines. Lacerda, come here, you’ll play... and come here too, Antunes.”

“Polegada, what happened with César Nobre? You forgot to give him his medicines? Not again, last time Borges did the same with Dumitrache, now you did with César! Go back to the Landau Institute before I become furious! There aren’t more good assistants nowadays...”

DR. SAMPAIO: “But this problem with the Estresse Intenso team wasn’t so serious, and the team continued to play very well for some minutes. Of course they had to adapt themselves to the new formation, but even had some goal chances with Lacerda and Ponte Pênsil. Suddenly, a counterattack. A San Monticaz player took forces out of nowhere to dribble Manga, invade the area and shoot to score the goal of the opponent team. Of course he wasn’t happy, as he team was losing, but a goal is good anyway.”

DR. SORRAREL: “San Monticaz was looking for a goal since the start of the second half, and even had some good chances, but Estresse Intenso’s defenders were amazing. When the team had problems with the formation, they took the opportunity and could score in a fast counterattack while our players weren’t well positioned. Simple.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “Many people though that this would be the final result. But they were wrong. In the injury time, Gabalán took the ball from an opponent, invaded the area after dribbling a player and shot the ball in the left side of the goal, scoring his fourth goal in the game and ending the result. The game ended and our players could commemorate!”

DR. SORRAREL: “Good game, with marvelous goals and an excellent performance of Gabalán. Things like these make me proud to work in this institute! And the coach was happy too”:

“I have no words to use to express what are my feelings about this game. It was simply incredible and... and... I have no words. The team played well, all the players played well, and Gabalán’s goals... I wish that every game was like this one. Now let’s talk about the next game. Some old players will return and I can use a traditional formation. It’ll be: Prunella, Bergue, Pindaré, Manga and Flores; Sardinha, Dumitrache, Dos Alpes and Bogdan; Ponte Pênsil and Gabalán.”

http://img117.imageshack.us/img117/1420/italyschillacisay5.jpg
Gabalán continued commemorating even after the end of the game, with Lacerda's shirt

DR. SAMPAIO: “Now to the stats”:

ESTRESSE INTENSO 7x1 SAN MONTICAZ

Place: SeeBazalope Arena, in Bazalonia.
Attendance: 48,000(full).
MOTM: Carlos Alberto Gabalán (E.I.).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/estresse_intenso.png ESTRESSE INTENSO: Prunella, Pindaré, Manga and Marinho (César Nobre 45’ (Lacerda 80’)); Bergue, Dumitrache, Dos Alpes, Bogdan and Flores (Antunes 80’); Ponte Pênsil and Gabalán.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/san_monticaz.png SAN MONTICAZ: no team released.

Goals:EIT: Gabalán 0’/2’/6’/93’ , Ponte Pênsil 38’/78’ , Dos Alpes 62’.
SMO: Attacker 86’.

"This is getting just a bit insane."

"Yeah, boss, we got nothing to do! Look at the news reports! Easy, textbook saves become 'good stops' just so my mum can see my name in the newspaper!" said Petr Zherdek, speaking for the goalies.

"It's just as well, though." said Dennis Hartraft, "Bob the Bookie was about to nail my mum's ears to the doorframe cause of the hockey bets. Then she got 130-1 odds on us winning three straight. Bob the Bookie don't know too much 'bout footy."

"Oh yeah, Bob the Bookie was after me mate too," added Tony Archer, "stripped him naked and chased him down Yonge Street with a golf club. That guy's a menace, I tell ya."

"Why are you guys putting on weird British accents?" the manager asked.

"It's working innit?"

Group C

Bartonstein 2-1 Croisland @ CBBC Dome
The Aqua Moose 1-2 Altanar @ George Town Nova Stadium

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Bartonstein 4 2 2 0 7 5 2 8
2 Altanar 4 2 1 1 7 3 4 7
3 The Aqua Moose 4 0 3 1 5 6 -1 3
4 Croisland 4 0 2 2 4 9 -5 2


Group D

San Monticaz 1-6 Schorteskatascansolani @ Via Voleta Dome
Houersteinzer 1-5 Estresse Intenso @ Trevton City Enclosed Field

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Schorteskatascansolani 4 4 0 0 17 2 15 12
2 Estresse Intenso 4 3 0 1 17 4 13 9
3 San Monticaz 4 0 1 3 2 16 -14 1
4 Houersteinzer 4 0 1 3 1 15 -14 1


MD5 Fixtures:

Group C:
The Aqua Moose vs. Bartonstein @ Trevton City Enclosed Field
Croisland vs. Altanar @ Via Voleta Dome

Group D:
Houersteinzer vs. San Monticaz @ CBBC Dome
Schorteskatascansolani vs. Estresse Intenso @ Georgetown Nova Stadium

Group A
Quintessence of Dust 2-2 Turruth Gordur
Northern Bettia 2-0 Zwangzug

Table

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Quintessence of Dust 4 3 1 0 10 5 5 10
2 Northern Bettia 4 3 0 1 9 5 4 9
3 Turruth Gordur 4 1 1 2 4 6 -2 4
4 Zwangzug 4 0 0 4 0 7 -7 0

Group B
Cesibia 1-1 Kelssek
Etres Vrais 0-2 Random toast

Table

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Kelssek 4 3 1 0 14 1 13 10
2 Random toast 4 2 1 1 10 5 5 7
3 Etres Vrais 4 1 1 2 2 9 -7 4
4 Cesibia 4 0 1 3 1 12 -11 1

Tomorrow's Matches
Northern Bettia vs Quintessence of Dust (Fort Erie Stadium)
Turruth Gordur vs Zwangzug (Ruckus Room)

Etres Vrais vs Cesibia (Xed City Stadium)
Kelssek vs Random toast (Dreton Center)

Good evening Schortica, this is Master Guillaume broadcasting to you from Channel 53 this time! Yes, Teleray has finally decided to move us up, by one lousy channel! Well, we're here in Via Voleta, and guess what? Hoeursteinzer has not shown up again! Evidently there was some miscommunication and we will be playing San Monticaz instead. This has Master Wenzel all in a stitch but the players are all right and fine with it. San Monticaz, Houersteinzer, they're both no good teams as the term runs in Schorteskatascansolani. Anyway, the bands are playing the national anthems - only the first seven verses this time - and the teams are getting ready to play.

[We move to the 24th minute]

Well, you can't say much for the forward section. Kopacka, Ferguson, and Winterburn all failed to make the cut in our selections for the World Cup national squad (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12286973&postcount=2). However, they're doing bravely out here. You can't say much for the San Monticaz defense, however. They just let our players run through like water through Swiss cheese. And here's Platt setting the field on fire like he always does, moving up with a roaring play, faking out one defender, and now another, and now he's away! He takes his shot deliberately and blasts away. It's a goal! Schor, Schor, Schor!! What a foot he has! What a powerful shot! The goalkeeper never even had a chance there. This makes the scoreline three nothing already. The game isn't being contested very badly at all. Platt is being called to the sidelines. He's shaking his head. I think Master Wenzel doesn't want Platt getting injured, but Platt wants to keep playing. A hat trick at least, he's saying. He's gotten two already, we'll have to see. Master Wenzel has given him the OK...

[We move to the 61st minute]

Here comes Salari moving the ball up. I think he's - oh, no! Nasty collision with a San Monty midfielder, number 14, and they're both down. The San Monty is getting up but Salari is still there. Here are the doctors and the medics. Can we have a statement? Salari is being taken out of the game. He is mumbling for his lawyer. Alexander comes in as substitute. The game moves on and we start bringing the ball up on the field. Hello, Luhovy is tying his shoes. Oh, look at that! An impressive interception from a San Monticaz player? Best thing we've seen from them all day! He's taking it back, but defenders are closing on all sides, here's Devold rushing in, but he shoots! Luhovy jumps up and tries to reach it, but it dies just inside of the line! San Monticaz has scored, the match is now 5-1! This is not good, this is not right. Luhovy seems to have finished tying his shoes now...

[We here interrupt our transcript of the broadcast]

DESPATCHES

My lord, we easily defeated San Monticaz, although we were expecting Hoeursteinzer. No matter. The only developments are that Salari has become injured. I have read your picks (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12286973&postcount=2) for our World Cup squad. It is a pity that Sturegard, or Devold, or Tazawa can't be there, but ah well, laws are laws. And MacNaughton is surely superfluous. Lamberton would have been a much better choice - or Cornfeld. I suppose Teleray was behind it. We will be playing the nutjobs and mental cases again, at the same place we did it last time. Lineup is Duke in goal; Vishnevskij, Torpey, Devold, and Alexander in defense; Giddins as captain, Platt, Elliot, Stott, and Zakopal in midfield, and Bush as lone striker.

Yours,
Wenzel

----

L'udovit is been at all the Wal~Marts and buying the wrong sorts of laundry detergent. Suggest you replace him.

-Zomi

FOR IMMEDIATE AND RAPID TRANSIT TO HOMELAND

"...and that brings us back down to earth, folks. A lacklustre performance, probably underestimated the bottom-of-the-group team, 1-1 the final score in Kelssek vs. Cesibia..." said the commentator.

Mathieu de Jenken grimaced as one of the incensed assistant coaches yelled, "That was a penalty, you blind idiot!" at the referee and was hauled off by security.

"We should send him to that Estresse Intenso institute," someone said dryly.

---
http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/media/natl-telegraph.jpg
If there's a Kelssekian dropping a ball somewhere, we're on it

Poor performance in 1-1 draw against Cesibia

Kelssek conceded their first goal and dropped their first points in a lacklustre effort against Cesibia at the Baptism of Fire tournament.

Vincent Arsenault was the sole spark of brilliance for Kelssek as he split the Cesibia defence wide open with one of his sublime dribbling runs before putting the ball past the keeper from the edge of the penalty box with an inspired strike to find the top left corner of the net in the 33rd minute.

But sloppy defending allowed Cesibia to equalise just 5 minutes later, and the defence looked on tenterhooks the rest of the game, with the team scrambling for the ball and making dubious clearances. You got the feeling it was sheer luck that kept Cesibia from scoring another as Kelssek reverted to boring defensive football - which didn't seem particularly effective anyway - generally neglecting to go on the attack in search of a game winner as Cesibia applied the pressure.

Meanwhile, assistant coach Rory Gregson could face sanctions after he confronted the referee after the final whistle and allegedly verbally abused him, threatening to defecate on him after Kelssek were denied a 87th-minute penalty when the Cesibia goalie appeared to have brought down Henri Cournoyer in the box.

Group B
Cesibia 1-1 Kelssek
Etres Vrais 0-2 Random toast

Table

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Kelssek 4 3 1 0 14 1 13 10
2 Random toast 4 2 1 1 10 5 5 7
3 Etres Vrais 4 1 1 2 2 9 -7 4
4 Cesibia 4 0 1 3 1 12 -11 1




Liz Kitten: Hi, Liz Kitten again, reporting for Toast TV in Quakmybush. Spirits are still high here in the toast camp after their 2 - 0 victory over Etres Vrais. I managed to grab Chegwin Potato for a few words. Chegwin, you alright?

Chegwin Potato: Yep, it was a tough game against Etres, but the boys have come through it and we can now see the woods for the trees."

Liz: "Lovely, what did you have for breakfast?"

Chegwin: "errm, yeah, this result puts us in a strong position for qualification, so we are all really excited, saint."

Liz: Thanks Chegwin and good luck. This is Liz Kitten for Toast TV in Quakmabush, and now back to studio for the latest on the Celebrity Badger Smelling."

Merano Regency: Editorial
The Zwangzug football team has lost its fourth consecutive game in the "Baptism of Fire" competition. The isolationism and pacifism that the country used to be proud of is plummeting with their record. For example, take yesterday's game against the Northern Bettia Fire Ants. After the first goal, from Northern Bettia forward Ola Hiyashibara twenty-six minutes in, captain Rube Tercer's "huddle" looked suspiciously like a restraint. As the first half wore on, defender Andrew Card seemed positively apathetic, barely attempting to stop a blast from winger Jon Sakasayou. Card, who was first in his high school class, could have had a fulfilling career, and instead is squandering it to athletics.

Zwangzug's scoring opportunities were limited, and overwhelmed by the superior Northern Bettia squad. After a sterling save by goalkeeper Jon Ozeki, Zwangzug forward Phillip Stings launched a tirade that makes the authors of this publication thankful he had no access to the karate program being instigated by our neighbors to the east. Stings received a yellow card.

The second goal, nineteen minutes into the second half, was scored by Paul Iyopa in a fine technical display, angling past Zwangzug midfielder Jacob Barons, who tripped and reopened an elbow wound. Tercer relented to the demands of his less genteel teammates soon after, and Northern Bettia was able to dominate the spirit as well as the scoring of the game. Only Lawrence Sevvy's grim reminders of Anne Onymous's performances prevented the peons from receiving red cards. The game ended 2-0.

Northern Bettia fields a capable team, with potential, that deserves to be playing football at the international level. We reiterate this publication's position that Zwangzug does not.

"Sport now. And with the national football team, currently competing in the Baptism of Fire competition in Quakmybush in preparation for World Cup 33, continuing their unbeaten run with a two-all draw against Turruth Gordur, reporter Daniel Fabrik took to the streets to find out how ordinary Quodites are reacting to their side's foreign endeavours."

Cut to reporter in typical brown overcoat, brandishing typical microphone and sporting typical moustache.

"Thanks Alyssa. I have here with me Tungsten Spaniel, who's very excited to see his national side doing so well."

Tungsten unleashes a burst of highly animated babble, accompanied by wild gesticulations. Subtitles roll across the bottom scroll, clearly indicating his support for Ariddia.

"Mr Spaniel...Ariddia aren't actually playing in the Baptism of Fire..."

More high-speed rantings, mostly about how Ariddia don't need to play in 'this little pissnik contest'. Uncertain glance to the camera.

"Yesss..."

Cut to studio, with nervous smilings.

"While Daniel finds a new street - hopefully one not in the Ariddian quarter - just a quick reminder of today's match, which saw goals from David Yellowback and Peter Rogers. Rogers has scored in every game so far, bringing his tally for the tournament to four. Unfortunately, there were also four yellow cards, including one for Rogers; another went to Benvolio Azzinio, who came on as a substitute for Dennis Young, and two to defender Michel Marberger, who was sent off in the 84th minute and will miss both of the remaining qualifying matches."

Serious frown; cut to reporter, standing in new street, next to youth bandaged in red clothing.

"Sir, how excited are you to see the national side finally competing at the international level - and doing so well?"

"Football's a fuckin' white boy sport, innit."

Nervous glance.

"Well, sir, you would, um, appear to be white yourself. Tell me, how many of the matches have you watched, and how have you found the coverage?"

"Fuck you, honky."

"Right...well...thank you for appearing for us, and let me give you this football shirt."

Reporters attempts to hand black-and-yellow striped shirt to aghast youth. Cries from off-screen, and gun battle breaks out between rival gangs, mistaking the shirt for the colours of their opponents. Cut back to studio, full of painfully forced smiles.

"Let's just discuss the tactics used. We have here with us football except Lars Karlnoff. Lars, what did you make of Jeremy Dixon's tactics this game?"

Cut to neatly dressed man, beside electronic display with coloured dots that move as he points.

"Well Alyssa, as you can see, the team began with their standard 5-3-2 formation but then moved to 4-4-2 once Robson came off, and 4-4-1-1 with the substitution of Young for Azzinio."

"I see. And what about, you know, the actual game?"

Frightened look of incomprehension.

"Absolutely. Of course. The game. Yes. Well Alyssa, as you can see, they broadly tried to score...more goals than...the other team. And although they didn't do this, they did manage to...not have more goals scored by...the other team...than they did."

"Right. Do you think their tactics will change for the next match?"

"Definitely."

"And, how?"

"Oh...uh...in that case, no, I definitely don't think the tactics will change."

Look of weary frustration. Cut to reporter, overcoat cut up and covered in blood, standing at a dishevelled tilt in a new street. A young man stands next to him, peering at the camera.

"William, did you enjoy the game?"

"Oh yeah, I especially like it when the guy kicked the other guy and blood came out a bit."

"Obviously, Marberger will now face suspension."

"I dunno why, I thought I kicked him well good. Can I say hi to my mum?"

Exuberant waving ensues. Reporter drops microphone and walks off camera. Cut to studio.

"Now weather."

Cut to Karlnoff.

"Well Alyssa, as you can see, we had rain, and then it stopped and was sunny."

"And can you tell us what tomorrow's weather will be like?"

Frightened look of incomprehension.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/72/Band_logo.png

BE CALM TELEVISION: ANOTHER EXCELLENT GAME
Commented by Doctor Santiago Sampaio
With comments of Doctor Haroldo Sassarel
- with in-game comments of Doctor Vittorio Mendonça -

http://img177.imageshack.us/img177/5677/germanyschumachersyh2.jpg
Prunella commemorates

DR. SAMPAIO: “Hi, dear patients, and welcome again to the Be Calm Television’s exclusive coverage of Estresse Intenso’s campaign in the Baptism of Fire! Another excellent game for the Landau Institute players, as they could defeat Houersteinzer with an very good performance, winning the game by a result of five against one, and giving confidence to the team to continue and try to win the title.”

DR. SASSAREL: “Once again the team showed us that they are players that can compete in all championships using all their quality. I have no many things to say about the game, as everybody played well, although not too many goal chances were seen. Landau’s players could use all the opportunities. Gabalán once again was incredible, but I liked Dos Alpes and Dumitrache today too.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “So, let’s go to the highlights of the game. Both teams started with an offensive attitude, but Estresse Intenso was clearly superior and could take advantage of the ability of its players soon, in the first five minutes, with a goal. Bergue ran to the right wing and crossed the ball to the area. Gabalán jumped and headed the ball, giving no chances to the opponent goalkeeper and scoring a goal.”

DR. SASSAREL: “Yes, a fast goal, like in the previous game. Gabalán is very fast and dangerous, and our wing-backs are doing an excellent job too. The offensive attitude of our opponents wasn’t good for them, as we could make good counterattacks and score this goal. The coach saw the goal and commented to his assistants”:

“Gabalán scored, and we still didn’t reach the fifth minute... this is becoming boring, they can’t play a competitive game against us. Well, if this is boring, I hope that we have many boring games to come, I prefer to win than to see a beautiful game.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “Houersteinzer countinued with an offensive attitude, and Estresse Intenso had to stop their attacks. Because of that, the number of successful attacks declined, and the good goal chances were rare. There were some, of course, with Gabalán and Bogdan, but at that time the game was more close.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “After the twentieth minute, Estresse Intenso decided to pressure the opponent team and attack with full strength. And this style awarded them a goal. Dumitrache took the ball and went to the attack, passing the ball to Bogdan. The experienced midfielder dribbled one opponent and passed the ball to Dos Alpes, who shot and scored the second goal of the game.”

DR. SASSAREL: “The team looked really good in these counterattacks. Bogdan’s experience and Dos Alpes’ ability were very important in this play. The coach prepared the team well, knowing who were the best players in the squad.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “After the second goal, Estresse Intenso continued with the attacks, and because of that Houersteinzer could explore the breaches found in the Institute’s defense. In the injury time, they started a counterattack. An attacker dribbled Pindaré and passed to a midfielder, who invaded the area and sent the ball to the goal. The first half ended, and many people started to think if Estresse Intenso would really win this game or not.”

DR. SASSAREL: “A huge mistake. Pindaré was dribbled easily and the other defender, Viriatlo Manga, wasn’t in his position. So, they could invade our area and score the goal. These mistakes sometimes can cost a victory. But the coach was confident and expressed it before the second half”:

“We’re winning the game, and we won’t allow them to get a draw or three points. They scored because our defense was caught on surprise and the players were in wrong positions in the field. If we correct these mistakes, there’s nothing to worry. And, to correct this, I’ll be making two changes in the team, putting Eriksson and Monteiro in the places of Ponte Pênsil and Bergue.”

http://img216.imageshack.us/img216/6114/honxspaspj8.jpg
Estresse Intenso suffered a goal

DR. SAMPAIO: “When the second half started, Mendonça’s changes seemed perfect. In his first play in the game, Monteiro passed the ball to Sardinha, who saw Gabalán invading the area. He passed the ball shouting like Tarzan. The defenders, confused because of the noise, couldn’t tackle Gabalán, and the attacker scored the goal with a strong shot.”

DR. SASSAREL: “Of course we can’t say that the team only scored because Mendonça made changes. Estresse Intenso returned better, probably after a team talk between the players and the coach, and would probably score with or without Monteiro in the field. Mendonça was lucky to put the right man in the right time, only that. He even was surprised, as we can hear in the in-game comments”:

“Yes, take the ball... good Monteiro, good, now go ahead. Sardinha received, let’s go, caveman, you can do it. ARGH, this noise is horrible! Where is the ball now? Is inside the goal! Gabalán scored! And Monteiro started the whole play. I can bet that all the newspapers will be saying that I was the responsible for this goal...”

DR. SAMPAIO: “But, as in the first half, the goal chances weren’t so numerous as in the last game against San Monticaz. This was mainly because Houersteinzer was still attacking, and Estresse Intenso had to defend against them. But when the chance appeared, Estresse Intenso scored. Dumitrache received the ball from Sardinha in the entrance of the area, shooting from outside the area to score.”

DR. SASSAREL: “Dos Alpes was asking for the ball, and he didn’t like when Dumitrache shot. They started to discuss, as Dos Alpes wants that everyone obeys his orders. Seeing that the situation was complicated, Mendonça substituted Dos Alpes”:

“Something is happening, what would be now? We’ve just scored a goal. Dumitrache is discussing with Dos Alpes? Why? Ah, Dos Alpes asked for the ball... now I understand. I need to do something. Let’s take off the “dictator” and put someone in his place. Araújo, come here, you’ll enter!”

DR. SAMPAIO: “The game continued the same, with few good attacks and many lost balls in the midfield, with both teams trying to attack but having to defend at the same time. Once again, Estresse Intenso caught an opportunity and scored another goal. Bogdan was with the ball, crossing it to Gabalán. The attacker headed it, but the goalkeeper made a fantastic save. The ball remained with Manga, who shot, but the goalkeeper saved again. Eriksson took the rebound and shot, this time scoring the goal.”

DR. SASSAREL: “Poor goalkeeper. He tried, but couldn’t avoid the fifth goal of Estresse Intenso...”

DR. SAMPAIO: “There was still much time remaining in the game, but all the chances that ocurred during these last minutes were missed. Houersteinzer had one with an attacker, even dribbling Prunella and shooting. Luckily, Manga took the ball before it enters in the goal. In the injury time, Araújo sent the ball to Gabalán, that dribbled two opponents and tried to score with a chip shot, but the ball hit the bar and went wide. The game ended, and the team could commemorate another good victory.”

DR. SASSAREL: “And the coach now thinks that the team can win the title”:

“Another convincing victory, with lots of goals. This time we had more problems in the midfield and had to defend more, but we got an excellent result. Next game will be very important, as will probably decide the group leaders, so we have to do our best. The team will be the main one, offensive style(according to specialists, +1). The starting eleven are: Prunella, Pindaré, Godói, Manga and Flores; Sardinha, Dumitrache, Dos Alpes, Bogdan and Araújo; Gabalán.”

DR. SASSAREL: “When we heard this formation, we thought if Dos Alpes and Dumitrache would have problems in playing together. The coach answered”:

“Absolutely not. They’re professionals and they already talked to each other and solved the discussion. Now we have to stay united to try to win a title which our main rivals, the monarchists of Cafundéu, didn’t. They lost last competition’s final, so we want to win this one to show them that we aren’t inferior.”

http://img152.imageshack.us/img152/1251/wc98030svt8.jpg
Eriksson commemorates his goal

DR. SAMPAIO: “Now to the match stats”:

ESTRESSE INTENSO 5x1 HOUERSTEINZER

Place: Trevon City Enclosed Field, in Bazalonia.
Attendance: 33,000 people (full).
MOTM: Vândison Dos Alpes (E.I.).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/estresse_intenso.png ESTRESSE INTENSO: Prunella, Bergue (Monteiro 45'), Pindaré, Manga and Flores; Sardinha, Dumitrache, Dos Alpes (Araújo 68') and Bogdan; Ponte Pênsil (Eriksson 45') and Gabalán.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/houersteinzer.png HOUERSTEINZER: no team released.

Goals: EIT: Gabalán 4’/47’ , Dos Alpes 22’ , Dumitrache 67’ , Eriksson 72’.
HOU: Midfielder 45’+.

Scores


Group A
Northern Bettia 2-1 Quintesssence of Dust
Turruth Gordur 0-1 Zwangzug



Group B
Etres Vrais 1-0 Cesibia
Kelssek 2-1 Random toast

no tables tonight, sorry, also Baz's scores will be abit late.

use whatever stadium you want for tomorrow's match.

Group A Table

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Northern Bettia 5 4 0 1 11 6 5 12
2 Quintessence of Dust 5 3 1 1 11 7 4 10
3 Turruth Gordur 5 1 1 3 4 7 -3 4
4 Zwangzug 5 1 0 4 1 7 -6 3

Group B Table

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Kelssek 5 4 1 0 16 2 14 13
2 Random toast 5 2 1 2 11 7 4 7
3 Etres Vrais 5 2 1 2 1 9 -6 7
4 Cesibia 5 0 1 4 1 12 -11 1

Group C

The Aqua Moose 1-2 Bartonstein @ Trevton City Enclosed Field
Croisland 3-2 Altanar @ Via Voleta Dome

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Bartonstein 5 3 2 0 9 6 3 11
2 Altanar 5 2 1 2 9 6 3 7
3 Croisland 5 1 2 2 7 11 -4 5
4 The Aqua Moose 5 0 3 2 6 8 -2 3


Group D

Houersteinzer 3-1 San Monticaz @ CBBC Dome
Schorteskatascansolani 3-1 Estresse Intenso @ Georgetown Nova Stadium

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Schorteskatascansolani 5 5 0 0 20 3 17 15
2 Estresse Intenso 5 3 0 2 18 7 11 9
3 Houersteinzer 5 1 1 3 4 16 -12 4
4 San Monticaz 5 0 1 4 3 19 -16 1


MD6 Fixtures:

Group C
The Aqua Moose vs. Croisland @ Stadium Verona
Bartonstein vs. Altanar @ Drago Soccer Field

Group D
Houersteinzer vs. Schorteskatascansolani @ SeaBazalope Arena
San Monticaz vs. Estresse Intenso @ TeleBaz

MATCH REPORT

FILED BY MASTER WENZEL

SUMMARY: Schorteskatascansolani continues their streak of wins with a 3-1 victory over Estresse Intenso.

RECORD OF EVENTS:

Fourth minute: Vishnevskij receives yellow card for diving.

Eleventh minute: Bush takes a shot, but it flies over.

Thirteenth minute: Zakopal takes a corner and Elliot heads it, but Prunella just barely deflects it.

Fourteenth minute: Bush takes a shot, but it is off target.

Nineteenth minute: Dos Alpes takes a shot which Duke catches.

Twenty-fifth minute: Bush scores a goal, but is ruled off-side.

Twenty-seventh minute: Foul on Vishnevskij in the penalty box. Referee awards penalty. Vishnevskij takes it and scores. SCH 1-0 ESI

Thirty-sixth minute: Gabalan tries a shot, but it hits the crossbar.

Forty-second minute: Araujo receives a yellow card for stamping.

Forty-fifth minute, end of first half. Sturegård comes in as substitute for Bush. Kapetanopoulos comes in as substitute for Zakopal.

Fiftieth minute: Platt scores a long range shot on an assist from Devold. SCH 2-0 ESI

Fifty-sixth minute: Sturegård scores a header shot on an assist from Stott. SCH 3-0 ESI

Fifty-eight minute: Prunella has a nervous breakdown over losing and has to be substituted.

Seventy-second minute: Vishnevskij is sent off for diving.

Seventy-third minute: Platt tries a shot, but the goalkeeper catches it.

Seventy-eighth minute: Dumitrache breaks away from the defense, but Duke catches his shot.

Eighty-second minute: Dumitrache breaks away from the defense and scores. SCH 3-1 ESI

Eighty-third minute: Dumitrache breaks away from the defense, but misses his shot.

Eighty-seventh minute: Dumitrache breaks away from the defense, but Duke deflects his shot.

Eighty-eighth minute: Dumitrache thinks he has scored all four goals and begins a victory celebration. He is substituted.

Ninety-first minute: Duke is given a yellow card for time wasting.

Ninety-fourth minute: Game ends. Schorteskatascansolani wins by a margin of 3-1.

I HEREBY ATTEST AND AFFIRM THAT THE FACTS WRITTEN HEREIN ARE EXACTLY AND PERFECTLY TRUE.

(signed)

Master Wenzel

Simon Ryne had traditionally viewed Ulysses the same way he generally viewed the rest of the team: disdainfully. In light of the last game, he was reevaluating that. Ulysses was in the twilight of what would have been a long and fulfilling career if Zwangzug had ever had a football team before, which the younger Steven was attempting to upshow. While Simon Ryne was at his (perpetual, if he said so himself) peak, it was Phillip who poked the ball past the Turruth Gordur defenders (what kind of a name was Turruth Gordur? Zwangzug was derived from "Zugzwang", and though Simon Ryne was no grandmaster, he preferred his country's name to random syllables)...

Anyhow, Phillip had gotten it past the defenders. Phillip, a little street rat from the dingy Bangkok. Simon Ryne, a sterling example of beautiful Merano at its best. Who was a better choice for scoring the first Zwangzug goal in international history?

In Simon Ryne's mind, it was no contest.

As he diverted it away, a defender (they had names like "Boldog Gothmog"?) pounded it downfield, and Rube had to start the process over again.

Yul and Phillip worked in tandem on the next drive, just to spite Simon Ryne, it seemed, but he got the last laugh as he nudged a defender at them. In the ensuing scuffle, Simon Ryne scored the only goal of the game.

If he had his way, he'd credit Ulysses with the assist.

Tony Archer was fiddling with a calculator, the kind you used at school.

"Look, man, either we've qualified or we haven't! What's taking so long?" demanded Simon.

"Of course we've qualified, we've got 13 points and the most the other teams can get is 10." said Despatie, "Why'd you need a calculator to work that out?"

"Porn." said Archer. "I got porn." He displayed his work triumphantly - the display showed:

(.m.)

Everyone groaned, resisted the urge to snatch the calculator and smash it to bits, and went to find some beer.

---
http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/media/kirkenescourier.gif

As Kelssek go into the last game of the group stage, they'll be thinking more about opponents in the next round rather than Etres Vraies, a team they have already beaten by a handy scoreline of 6-0.

Manager Mathieu de Jenken will undoubtedly be casting a wary eye at the extremely skilled psychos of Estresse Intenso, as well as Schorteskatascansolani, the only team with a hundred percent record after five games, and a team which will be as difficult to beat as their name is to pronounce.

Given Kelssek's performances so far a very good finish is a strong possibility in the Baptism of Fire tournament if lapses like that against Cesibia are avoided.

As for how we got here, it was a hard-nosed 2-1 victory over Random toast which sealed first place in the group. Henri Cournoyer supplied sublime finishing for both goals, while Lawrence Feeley was a strong presence in net and had to make an excellent stop in the 66th minute off Jad Fair to earn the W and saving Dennis Hartraft from feeling too bad about fanning on a cross from Vincent Arsenault, the bounce of which he misjudged with Big Cheese stranded and the goal at his mercy.

How will Kelssek fare in the next stage? Are we going to see more brilliance from Vincent Arsenault? Will Kelssekian sportswriters covering this tournament stop dropping hockey terms and similies into their articles? Keep watching.

Group B
Etres Vrais 1-0 Cesibia
Kelssek 2-1 Random toast



Liz Kitten: "It was a close fought game, won 2 -1 by Kelssek, who have now qualified for the next stage. Random Toast will now be looking for a positive result in their final group game. Jad Fair, scorer of the Toasts goal, what do you make of the tounament so far?"

Jad Fair: "Its been like a Baptism of Fire, but at the end of the day, it gets dark."

Liz: "Thanks Jad, and now back to the studio for a report on the Extreme Knitting Championships."

BE CALM TELEVISION: TEAM LOSSES BUT IS QUALIFIED
Commented by Doctor Santiago Sampaio
With comments of Doctor Haroldo Sassarel
- with in-game comments of Doctor Vittorio Mendonça -

http://img242.imageshack.us/img242/2309/nirxalgsfv1.jpg
Good game made by our opponents

DR. SAMPAIO: “Welcome again to the Be Calm Television’s Baptism of Fire coverage, the only one of Estresse Intenso. Yes, we are the only television channel of the Landau Institute too. Today we lost again against Schorteskatascansolani, but even with a negative result we are qualified to the next phase of the competition, and with great possibilities to go to the semifinals.”

DR. SASSAREL: “This wasn’t a bad game for our team, some players performed well, like Dos Alpes and Dumitrache, but our defensive sector made some big mistakes that cost us a better result. Gabalán, after having two excellent games, wasn’t the same today and missed many goal chances. Another interesting fact is that some players had to be substituted during the game because of personal problems. Beside that, a normal game with nothing interesting to add.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “So let’s go to the highlights. Due to the Third Official Bowling Championship of the Landau Institute, which will be shown here on Be Calm television, our program length will be reduced, so less highlights will be shown, but we’ll still show the best moments of this match, which was better in terms of quality than the last ones. Again in a cold place, the team suffered with the temperature.”

DR. SASSAREL: “But wasn’t because of that that they lost.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “Of course. Now to the game, which started tense, with both teams trying to provoke the enemies, diving to award penalty kicks and with scenes of violence. After the fifth minute, teams started to attack with full strength. One team attacked, than the opponent replied with another attack, and the game continued this way. Both teams missed many chances, mainly with Dos Alpes and Bush.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “After so many lost chances in this difficult game, a strange play. Giddins made a long pass to the attack, Vishnevskij receives it and invades the area. When he tries to shot, Godói blocks him and he falls. The referee sees a foul and Schorteskatascansolani wins a penalty. Vishnevskij shoots and scores the goal.

DR. SASSAREL: “The first goal of the game, I agree that it was a penalty. The player of Sch... Scha... what is the name of the team?

DR. SAMPAIO: “Schorteskatascansolani, Haroldo.”

DR. SASSAREL: “Yes, this name that you said. The player made a good play and unfortunately Godói couldn’t avoid fouling him. We suffered the goal and the coach didn’t like it”:

“They are attacking with spped. Oh no, a penalty! What have you done, Godói, you fouled him... Goal. Good job, Godói, you gave them a goal.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “After the goal, the attacks continued. Some missed chances were seen, mainly with Gabalán, Araújo and Elliot. But the first half ended and the coach decided to make chances. Both coaches did. Mendonça put Bergue in Godói’s place, still furious with the defender.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “The second half started and Estresse Intenso started it very badly, missing many passes and finishing badly. After many horrible mistakes, the Landau players suffered a goal. Devold gets the ball after a wrong pass made by Sardinha, dribbles the defensive midfielder and passes the ball to Platt, who shoots from outside the area and scores the second goal of the game.”

DR. SASSAREL: “A huge mistake made by our midfield. Our coach was furious and the goalkeeper too, as he wasn’t playing badly, but his team mates didn’t help him. Horrible pass and good counterattack made by Devold.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “The mistakes continued to happen after the second goal. And soon another goal happened. Stott reaches the left wing and crosses the ball to the area. Sturegård heads and scores easily a goal. After the goal, Kapetanopoulos had a chance to score again, but Prunella made a wonderful save.”

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Violent game with many fouls

DR. SASSAREL: “After the save, Prunella, who was already very nervous, discovered that his glove teared after the last save. Perfectionist, he tried desperately to fix his glove to leave it perfect, but couldn’t. Asked for another glove, but the referee didn’t allow the change. He became so nervous that he nearly collapsed, and had to be substituted by Zhee Zhang. The coach was worried”:

“Prunella made a good save in this play, he is a good keeper. Hm? What’s happening with him? He seems nervous, looking to his glove. He is trying to do something, but I can’t see clearly. Hey, Flores, come here. What’s happening with Prunella? His glove has teared? And he can’t fix it? Let’s see what I can make, I can give Viana’s gloves to him, I’ll ask the referee.”

“Mister Ulhara, can I change the gloves of my keeper? No? Why? This is ridiculous! Look at him, he is extremely nervous, he’ll have a heart attack. Look, he can’t control himself! Oh my God, he isn’t okay, I need to change him. Come here, Zhee Zhang.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “After the change, the team could return to play well and start good plays, having some good goal chances. In the twenty-seventh minute, a player of Schorteskatascansolani was sent off, trying to simulate a penalty. After that, Estresse Intenso started to dominate the ball possession, attacking with more strength than the opponent team. Dumitrache shows quality trying to score in many plays.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “In his fourth try, he scores. Receiving the ball from Bogdan, he invades the area and shots, giving no chances to the goalkeeper and scoring the goal. He had other chances to score, but missed them all.”

DR. SASSAREL: “In the last minutes of the game, Dumitrache becomes delirious again, saying unreal things and nonsenses. Noticing that, the coach put Eriksson in his place. Minutes after, the game ends and the coach talks”:

“Not many things to say about this game, we made some mistakes and lost. But we are qualified and are strong in the competition. Next game’s team will be: Prunella, Pindaré, Marinho, Manga and Flores; Sardinha, Dos Alpes, Bogdan and Bergue; Ponte Pênsil and Gabalán.”

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Yellow cards appeared lots of times

DR. SAMPAIO: “Now the game stats”:

ESTRESSE INTENSO 1x3 SCHORTESKATASCANSOLANI

Place: George Town Nova Stadium, in Bazalonia.
Attendance: 58,569 people.
MOTM: Duke (SCH).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/estresse_intenso.png ESTRESSE INTENSO: Prunella (Zhee Zhang 59’), Pindaré, Godói (Bergue 45’), Manga and Flores; Sardinha, Dumitrache (Eriksson 87’), Dos Alpes, Bogdan and Araújo; Gabalán.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schorteskatascansolani.png SCHORTESKATASCANSOLANI: Duke, Vishnevskij, Torpey, Devold and Alexander; Giddins, Platt, Elliot, Shott and Zakopal (Kapetanopoulos 45’); Bush (Sturegård 45’).

Goals:EIT: Dumitrache 86’.
SCH: Vishnevskij 27’ , Platt 50’ , Sturegård 56’.

Earnestly bobbing microphone pokes into view, with sweat-drenched player standing rather wearily against a backdrop of gaudy advertising logos. The interviewer speaks from off-camera, lending the scene a slightly surreal air as the microphone mysteriously sways about.

"Dennis, a hard-fought game tonight - and obviously a big disappointment to go down for your first defeat."

"Yeah, well, we played pretty well I thought, but once they'd got two up on us, I didn't really think we'd be able to get back in the game. They're a good side - psychotic, but good - and we knew from our first encounter that it'd be a challenge. So yeah, disappointing, but I'm hoping we'll recover."

"The result means you slip from first place in the group for the first time: will that be a motivation for a strong finish against Zwangzug?"

"To be honest, I don't think we really need a new motivation: we want a good finish anyway, so we can start strong in the next round. Zwangzug won tonight, apparently, so they'll obviously be well up for it; should be a good match."

At this point he sprays himself liberally with water from a squeezy bottle.

"You went two goals down inside the first thirty minutes: what were you feeling at that point?"

"Well, yeah, it was a pretty bad start. The first goal - sloppy mistake. I know Charlie won't like me saying it, but it was a schoolboy error, and once they'd got past him, it was always going in. But he bucked up, and I thought he actually put in a good game. The second: well, bit of a fluke, wasn't it? No one's fault there really: just hit a divot, and suddenly it was a whole different game."

"Which would presumably explain Frederic Renard's rugby-esque tackle..."

"Oh, heh, well, Freddy was just looking out for his own, really. Lost his head a bit, maybe, but he saw one of them put in a nasty challenge on Pete, and the ref wasn't gonna blow for it, so he took matters into his own hands. Or, shoulders. Bit lucky only to get a yellow? Maybe, but he's out for the next game anyway, so that'll be a miss."

"On that, how do you think your tactics will change for the next game, in light of having two players serving suspensions?"

"Well, Jess had a run tonight, and I think she'll probably be starting tomorrow, because with Freddy out and only four in defence, we'll need someone who can cross. Then Benvolio will play behind me and Rodge - at least that's how it'll start, is my guess. We'll probably have to rely more on the long ball - our passing game fell apart a bit tonight."

"Obviously though, you must have been pleased with your goal."

"Absolutely. It was straightforward, to be fair, but at this level there's nothing wrong with that. The ball just came right through, no one really challenged for it, and so it ended up with us in complete space, and Rodge laid it off nicely: I scuffed the first one, but luckily it came back nicely, and it ended up a pretty simple chance."

"Ok, well, good luck against Zwangzug tomorrow, and congratulations on your goal tonight."

"Thanks mate."

Team for tomorrow
1
Furman

3 4 5 6
Yellowback G. Azzinio Williams Littlefellow (c)

12 7 11
Jensen Rogers Achten

18
B. Azzinio

9 10
Longhorn Young

Group C

The Aqua Moose 2-2 Croisland @ Stadium Verona
Bartonstein 1-2 Altanar @ Drago Soccer Field

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Bartonstein 6 3 2 1 10 8 2 11
2 Altanar 6 3 1 2 11 7 4 10
3 Croisland 6 1 3 2 9 13 -4 6
4 The Aqua Moose 6 0 4 2 8 10 -2 4


Group D

Houersteinzer 2-2 Schorteskatascansolani @ SeaBazalope Arena
San Monticaz 1-6 Estresse Intenso @ TeleBaz Stadium

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Schorteskatascansolani 6 5 1 0 22 5 17 16
2 Estresse Intenso 6 4 0 2 24 8 16 12
3 Houersteinzer 6 1 2 3 6 18 -12 5
4 San Monticaz 6 0 1 5 4 25 -21 1


There seems to be some confusion as to the knockout stage

Regional Quarter Final Fixtures:

Bartonstein vs. San Monticaz @ TeleBaz Stadium
Estresse Intenso vs. Croisland @ Via Voleta Dome

Altanar vs. Houersteinzer @ Georgetown Nova Stadium
Schorteskatascansolani vs. The Aqua Moose @ CBBC Dome

Group A
Northern Bettia 3-1 Turruth Gordur
Quintessence of Dust 3-0 Zwangzug

Table
Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Northern Bettia 6 5 0 1 14 7 7 15
2 Quintessence of Dust 6 4 1 1 14 7 7 13
3 Turruth Gordur 6 1 1 4 5 10 -5 4
4 Zwangzug 6 1 0 5 1 10 -9 3

Group B
Etres Vrais 1-4 Kelssek
Cesibia 0-1 Random toast

Table
Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Kelssek 6 5 1 0 20 3 17 16
2 Random toast 6 3 1 2 12 7 5 10
3 Etres Vrais 6 2 1 3 4 13 -9 7
4 Cesibia 6 0 1 5 1 14 -13 1

Tomorrows Matches

Northern Bettia vs Cesibia (Ruckus Room)
Quintessence of Dust vs Etres Vrais (Xed City Stadium)
Kelssek vs Zwangzug (Jinkton City Field)
Random toast vs Turruth Gordur (Dreton Center)

Zwangzug's e-Lipogram
A tough loss: (in contrast to what?)
Zwangzug's football squad lost to dust's natural form without scoring, as Olson's goal is fading away flukishly. A triad of points (Zwangzug's squad had only lost by two in its first four matchups) put it away for QuoD, as it's known.

Zwangzug's forwards, S. R. Olson, Phillip Stings, and Yul Maughum, had an opportunity or two for goals, but didn't pass to who had most good positions. QuoD's Furman was still on top form, making brilliant saving flights. Zwangzug's Anatoly, clumsy in comparison, was paradoxically cool with goals going past him. Just playing for fun by that point? With Zwangzug playing Group B's champion soon, odds might not sail high as goals passing Anatoly, but king-tipping's no option.

Group B
Etres Vrais 1-4 Kelssek
Cesibia 0-1 Random toast

Table
Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Kelssek 6 5 1 0 20 3 17 16
2 Random toast 6 3 1 2 12 7 5 10
3 Etres Vrais 6 2 1 3 4 13 -9 7
4 Cesibia 6 0 1 5 1 14 -13 1

Tomorrows Matches

Northern Bettia vs Cesibia (Ruckus Room)
Quintessence of Dust vs Etres Vrais (Xed City Stadium)
Kelssek vs Zwangzug (Jinkton City Field)
Random toast vs Turruth Gordur (Dreton Center)


Jenny Kitten: "Hi, this is Jenny Kitten reporting from the Baptism of Fire tournament. Liz is having a day off today to go shopping. Random Toast have finsihed second in their group and now face a game against rivals Turruth Gordur. The teams have met 5 times in the past, with Turruth coming out winners 4 times. Juan, what are your thoughts of the upcoming game?"

Juan Sanchez: "History means nothing. We are stronger now than we have been when we faced them in the past and we are confident of victory. We are hoping for a strong referee to sort out any of the Turruth monkey business, hopefully they will be frisked before entering the field of play, to avoid any unpleasant occurrences of mindless violence."

Jenny: "Good luck Juan and to the rest of the team, now we go back to the studio for Celebrity Theres A Sniper On The Roof, Get Me Out Of Here."

Juan: "Thanks Jen, big up yourself."

The Anyuna Observer: touch the blue blue sky!

Northern Bettia, A1 !

Northern Bettia...........2 (Hiyashibara 26, Iyopa 64)
Zwangzug......................0

Northern Bettia...........2 (Devanallt 13, Sakasayou 28)
Quintessence of Dust..1 (Young 90+1)

Northern Bettia...........3 (Hiyashibara 40, Devanallt 67pen 85pen)
Turruth Gordur..........1 (Bragollach 76)

Okay, so the headline is a cryptic one, but it's perfectly simple when you think about it. Northern Bettia were drawn in group A, and they finished in position number 1. Clear? Okay, let's carry on then... Yes dear readers, after a run of four consecutive wins, the Fire Ants finished on top of their first round group.

The first of these wins came against hapless Zwangzug, and it must be said that this win was something of a shock. Why? Because not once did the Ants resort to their usual tactic of playing downright dirty. That's right, you read that correctly - they DIDN'T cheat. An thunderbolt of a goal by Hiyashibara followed by an equally sweet effort by Iyopa was enough to see the Ants through.

The next game saw Northern Bettia face off against Quintessence of Dust, the only team to have bettered them so far... and a firey encounter it was too, with more than its fair share of meaty tackles, sly elbows and off-the-ball incidents to entertain the travelling faithful. The Fire Ants found themselves two goals to the good before the half hour mark - the first coming from Gwrlais Devanallt pouncing on some shocking defending, and the second... well, let's just say the second goal is one for the bloopers reel. A speculative long-range effort looked to be easily covered by the Quintessential goalkeeper, but a somewhat fortunately bounce in a divot saw the ball suddenly spin to one side leaving the keeper with egg on his face.

That win saw Northern Bettia climb above their rivals to the lofty peak of Group A, but still needing a win against Torruth Gordur to keep things that way. A cheeky solo effort from Ola Hiyashibara and a brace of dubious penalties from Devanallt saw the Fire Ants to a comfortable 3-1 win. Their top-place finish see them face off against Group B's bottom team Cesibia in the regional quarter-finals... but what about the other teams currently gracing the fields of Quakmybush? Yes folks, it's prediction time!

Northern Bettia vs Cesibia
The Fire Ants have been looking stronger and stronger as the tournament has progressed. Their opponents, on the other hand, have barely made up the numbers. Expect the Fire Ants to give Cesibia a real scorching (not that we're biased or anything...)

Quintessence of Dust vs Etres Vrais
Like Cesibia, Etres Vrais have hardly made a ripple in this tournament, but Quintessence of Dust have shown themselve to be a very strong outfit, dropping just four points in the group stage. The Dusty ones are a shoe-in here as far as we're concerned.

Kelssek vs Zwangzug
This cold be a very, VERY intriguing matchup. Kelssek have looked extremely strong and were deserved winners of Group B. Zwangzug have been making all the right noises, but up until the last match nothing went right for them. Looking at the group tables, this would seem to be a mismatch, but mark our words, this will be no walk in the park. The Observer's verdict? Kelssek to win... but only just.

Random toast vs Turruth Gordur
A tale of two contrasting tournaments. Turruth Gordur started out looking strong but faltered badly towards the end. In complete contrast, Random Toast started weakly but finished with a roar, and we can't help to see them continue in this vein. We predict
Torruth Gordur will get toasted.

So there we have it. The group stage is over and now it's a straight knockout. One false move by the Northern Bettia, and their dreams of following in Bettia's footsteps will be dashed. Defeat at this stage could only result in one thing - everyone in Bettia pointing and laughing at their puppets... and we simply can't have that, now can we?



Fixtures / Results

Regional Quarter-Final

QF: Cesibia

Group A

MD1: Zwangzug.............W 2-0
MD2: Quintessence of Dust L 3-4
MD3: Turruth Gordur.......W 2-1
MD4: Zwangzug.............W 2-0
MD5: Quintessence of Dust W 2-1
MD6: Turruth Gordur.......W 3-1

From the desk of Gorgol “The Butcher” Harad:

“As some of you may have heard by now, we are matched up against another team from our region, Toaster. While we haven’t been doing as well as I would have hoped, we have defeated Toaster before in our region, and this time should prove no problem. It is time for Turruth Gordur to rise, not play like a pack of whiny puppies. Grishnákh continues to dominate the midfield—he’s an animal! And, of course, our goal-scoring duo of Draco Glaurung and Drago Bragollach will beat any opposing defenses into submission...one way or another. So what if Toaster if playing well. Ah, who cares about that insignificant trash heap anyway? We’ve beaten them before in more ways than one! How close are we to the final? I can already taste the blood of those who would get in our way! They will taste the cold, ragged steel of our boots! AAAH MOTHERLAND!!”

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/72/Band_logo.png

BE CALM TELEVISION: ANOTHER HUMILIATING VICTORY
Commented by Doctor Santiago Sampaio
With comments of Doctor Haroldo Sassarel
- with in-game comments of Doctor Vittorio Mendonça -

http://img212.imageshack.us/img212/2941/wc98004shl0.jpg
Game started disputed, but only in the first minutes

DR. SAMPAIO: “Welcome again, patients of the Landau Institute. Yes, it’s me again, Doctor Santiago Sampaio, here in Bazalonia. Yesterday we saw Derek Grutas winning the Bowling Championship and many other things in our sporting program. And we’ll return to our Baptism of Fire coverage. This was the first time that I entered in such a modern and beautiful stadium, here it’s very comfortable and we can do our job here easily.”

DR. SASSAREL: “Yes, is the biggest stadium here in this country. About the game, once again Estresse Intenso showed team work and ability to win with a large result. But today, the best player of the game was the midfielder Bogdan, who participated in most of the goals. The other players played well too, as Ponte Pênsil and Gabalán, and our defense could stop most of their plays.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “One thing that surprised me a lot in this game is that no serious problems were seen in our team and that none of the players of our team received a card. Maybe this way we can have a good campaign in the championship, as we have already the best attack of the competition. Now let’s go to the highlights. Don’t forget that we are the white team and San Monticaz are the red-blue ones.”

DR. SASSAREL: “If we see the style of both teams in the beginning of the game, we’ll see that Estresse Intenso started the game attacking, wanting goals at all costs, while San Monticaz was defending and looking for counterattacks.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “And the first ten minutes were extremely equal, with both teams having chances to score. The goalkeepers appeared well in the game with great saves, but soon the first goal happened. Dos Alpes made a good pass to Bergue, who invaded the area from the right wing and shot. The goalkeeper made a mistake and let the ball enter in the goal.”

DR. SASSAREL: “This was surely a mistake. This shoudn’t be a goal and Bergue was very lucky.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “Landau Institute’s players didn’t stop the fast and strong attacks and reached the opponent’s area many times, with Gabalán, Ponte Pênsil, Dos Alpes and Bogdan. After many missed chances, Estresse Intenso scored again in another fast and lethal attack. Sardinha got the ball in the midfield and passed it fast to Bergue, who dribbled an opponent and passed the ball to Dos Alpes. Bogdan ran to the area, receiving the ball and crossing it to Ponte Pênsil, who headed and scored the goal.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “Ponte Pênsil was inspired, and scored another goal, this time in an individual play. Receiving the ball from Bogdan after Flores stopped a San Monticaz attack, he face the defenders, dribbled two of them and waited for the goalkeeper to left the goal to score after a chip shot. Beautiful goal and his second in the game after only few minutes.”

DR. SASSAREL: “Two goals in three minutes! He surely was inspired today. His second goal was fantastic, it reminds me of Gabalán’s goal in one of the first games of this competiton. He surely is a dangerous player, not only in free kicks. And we can see in these three goals that our team had scored until then that the team is very united and that the players help each other. The coach Mendonça noted it”:

“Here is Ponte, he receives the ball in the midfield. Let’s go, boy, do this for me. One down, two down, he invades the area, now only the goalkeeper to beat and... GOAL! Haha, marvelous goal, I knew that you would score! Yeah, this is a team! In one minute, a good play created by many players, passing the ball to each other. In another, an individual play. We’re playing great, and as a team.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “Estresse Intenso continued attacking, wanting more goals. But it took some time. San Monticaz’s defense stopped many attacks of the Institute players, and our players had to change their style, using slower attacks, but more intelligent. This way, the goal happened. Dos Alpes received the ball from Gabalán and crossed it to the area. Bogdan received, dribbled a player without a step and in the same place he shot. The ball went to the right corner of the goal.”

DR. SASSAREL: “Another beautiful goal. Gabalán didn’t find space to shoot, so he had to pass the ball to Dos Alpes. Bogdan appeared, received the ball, and could dribble and shoot without a step. Fourth goal in the game and at that time it was nearly impossible for San Monticaz to win.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “The last minutes of the first half weren’t so exciting, but San Monticaz had its best chance in the first half. An attacker received the ball and shot. Prunella made a good save. The first half ended and the coach decided to maintain the formation and players”:

“After such a good first half, I shouldn’t make any changes in the team. They are excellent, this is their best game in the competition so far and we’re ready to score more goals. Ponte Pênsil scored two great goals, Bogdan is running like he was twenty years younger and the others are very well too. There’s nothing to change and I’ll follow the phrase: “In team that is winning we don’t move anything”, so that’s it.”

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Bogdan commemorates his first goal

DR. SAMPAIO: “And with a positive attitude and a lot of confidence the team started the second half. San Monticaz started the game with a fast attack, but the pair of defenders Marinho and Manga stopped them, starting a coutnerattack using Pindaré in the right wing. The defender ran to the attack singing an old samba music, dribbled an opponent and was fouled. He took the free kick and sent the ball to the area. Gabalán headed but missed the goal.”

DR. SASSAREL: “Doctor Vittorio Mendonça had to make a change in the team in the fifth minute of the second half. Bergue complained about a headache, so Mendes entered in his place. It wasn’t serious, according to the coach”:

“What’s the problem, Bergue? I didn’t hear, please come closer. Say now. Headache? I know that this isn’t a good feeling. No problem, I’ll substitute you and then you can take a medicine, I’ll ask Fagundes to give a Paracetamol to you. Mendes, prepare yourself!”

DR. SAMPAIO: “Estresse Intenso, even with a more offensive formation after Bergue left, as Mendes is a striker, started to create poorer attacks, easily stopped by the San Monticaz’s defenders. In the defensive sector, the team continued excellent, the four defenders were tackling the opponents everytime, but they didn’t go to the attack very often. Estresse Intenso took ten minutes to have a very good chance again. Bogdan passed the ball to Gabalán, who shot to the goal. The goalkeeper saved and Ponte Pênsil took the rebound, but he sent the ball wide.

DR. SAMPAIO: “The good attacks appeared to be returning. One with Dos Alpes, who shot and sent the ball over the bar. Other with Mendes, who tried to dribble the goalkeeper but was tackled. Finally, after more than fifteen minutes of missed chances and poor attacks, Estresse Intenso scored another goal with its main attacker. Mendes received the ball in the left wing from Flores. He passed the ball to the area, and Gabalán took the ball before the goalkeeper, dribbling him and hitting the ball to score the goal.”

DR. SASSAREL: “And Carlos scored. He wanted to leave his mark and the game and could do it in the second half. It wasn’t a spetacular goal, but a goal is a goal, and is what matters. Most of the supporters in the stadium commemorated, so many Bazalonia citizens liked our squad and our players, and we became popular here. At least our team, I think, we of the media probably aren’t popular. Did you understand?”

DR. SAMPAIO: “I think that I understood. Only think. Now returning again to the game... oh, we received some food here... thanks... I think that our budget for this program is increasing. Well, NOW returning to the game, our team seemed a lot more defensive after the fifth goal. Mendes started to play as a midfielder and Sardinha was substituted for Antunes. San Monticaz was destroyed in the game and couldn’t react, so we were still better in the game with more possibilities to score.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “But the goal chances were rarely seen. The last goal scored by Estresse Intenso in the game was in the last ten minutes of the game. Ponte Pênsil took a free kick, the ball hit the post, Gabalán shot the rebound, the goalkeeper saved, a defender tried to clear the danger and shot the ball, but the ball hit Mendes, who couldn’t control it. After all this confusion inside the area. Bogdan took the ball and shot with strength to score.”

DR. SASSAREL: “What a confusion inside the area! After a harmless free kick, everybody tried to take the ball, some players crashed, others were pulled, others pushed, and the goal only happened when Bogdan took the ball. The coach commemorated”:

“Foul. Ponte will take it. He is a good free kick taker, let’s see if he can score... in the post! Gabalán took the rebound, he missed! Now Mendes got it, missed again. It remained with Bogdan... GOOOOOAL!”

DR. SAMPAIO: “Six against zero was the result until the last minute of the injury time. In a corner kick, all the San Monticaz players went to the area, including the goalkeeper. The ball was crossed and the goalkeeper headed it, scoring the goal. After that, the game ended.”

DR. SASSAREL: “What a way to end a game. With a goalkeeper goal. Because of that Prunella didn’t have a clean sheet. But we won, and the coach commented the victory”:

“The first half was incredible, and the second was average. In general, I will say that this was our best game so far in the competition, and that we can still continue winning in the championship. Maybe we should even be considerated candidates for the title. We’ll play the next game against a team from the other group, and probably it was the worst group of the whole competition, so we can surely win. The formation will be: Prunella, Pindaré, Godói, Manga and Flores; Sardinha, Dumitrache, Dos Alpes and Bogdan; Ponte Pênsil and Gabalán.”

http://img212.imageshack.us/img212/3488/uruguaygoalkeepershh4.jpg
San Monticaz's goalkeeper scored a goal

DR. SAMPAIO: “Now to the match stats”:

ESTRESSE INTENSO 6x1 SAN MONTICAZ

Place: TeleBaz Stadium, in Bazalonia.
Attendance: 88,795 people.
MOTM: Bogdan Nejmanovski (E.I.).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/estresse_intenso.png ESTRESSE INTENSO: Prunella, Pindaré, Marinho, Manga and Flores; Sardinha (Antunes 72’), Dos Alpes, Bogdan and Bergue (Mendes 50’); Ponte Pênsil and Gabalán.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/san_monticaz.png SAN MONTICAZ: no team released.

Goals:EIT: Bergue 12’ , Ponte Pênsil 21’/23’ , Bogdan 40’/86’ , Gabalán 67’.
SMO: The goalkeeper 94’.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Goalscorers after the First Stage(6 games):

10- C. Gabalán
4- Bogdan and F. Ponte Pênsil
2- V. Dos Alpes and A. Dumitrache
1- B. Eriksson and Bergue

The New Cleethorpes Enquirer
Three-goal win sees Quodites march to next round with heads held high

The national side recovered their form after slip-ups in the two previous games to register a decisive victory against Zwangzug in their third match at Jinktown City Field. The 3-0 win was reassuring and reinvigorating, but also important was the good discipline shown, with all seven players on a yellow card avoiding suspension for the first knock-out match, in which they'll face Etres Vrais, who finished third in Group B. With the team thus far having avoided major injury and with the suspended Michel Marberger and Frederic Renard returning to the side, they should be putting out a full-strength line-up against Etres Vrais at the Xed City Stadium.

Tonight's game was evenly contested over the first half hour, but after conceding the first goal - a long range lob by Littlefellow who caught Anatoly off his guard - and missing an easy chance at the other end moments later, Zwangzug began to fade away a little, allowing their opponents to dominate position and control play in midfield.

There were chances at both ends, with goalkeeper Furman making a series of spectacular if at times somewhat undignified diving saves, but the Quintessential attackers made better use of the opportunities. A superb run by Rogers set up Longhorn, who struck home cleanly from fifteen yards, before Achten sent in a barnstorming volley that went in off a crazily vibrating crossbar.

The recourse to long distance shooting didn't reflect the relative comfort Young and Longhorn had in getting in amongst and behind the Zwangzug lines, while Benvolio Azzinio, starting for the first time, played a good game in the hole: though out of position and tiring by the end, he supplied good passes and was usually there to challenge for long balls from defence. The back four played solidly, although Marberger's height and tackling were sorely missed on a few hair-raising moments.

Jessica Jensen played a full 90 minutes. One of the very few females in the World Cup, she put in a good game, terrorising the right flank and providing several good crosses, whilst linking up well with her midfield partners. Jensen's inclusion in the squad was the subject of much pre-tournament controversy at home - if by 'much' one means 'the two guys in the pub raised their voices enough to distract the darts team' - but she proved that she could play at the top level today.

Results (P6 W4 D1 L1 GF14 GA7 GD+7)
Quintessence of Dust 2-0 Turruth Gordur
Quintessence of Dust 4-3 Northern Bettia
Quintessence of Dust 2-0 Zwangzug
Quintessence of Dust 2-2 Turruth Gordur
Quintessence of Dust 1-2 Northern Bettia
Quintessence of Dust 3-0 Zwangzug

Top scorers
P. Rogers - 4
D. Young - 3
R. Longhorn - 3
D. Achten - 1
T. Littlefellow - 1
F. Renard - 1
D. Yellowback - 1

Baptism of Fire Knockouts

Regional Quarter Finals

Bartonstein 1-1 San Monticaz (1-1 AET) (Bartonstein wins 5-2 on penalty kicks) @ TeleBaz Stadium
Estresse Intenso 1-0 Croisland @ Via Voleta Dome

Altanar 2-0 Houersteinzer @ Georgetown Nova Stadium
Schorteskatascansolani 2-2 The Aqua Moose (4-2 AET) @ CBBC Dome

Regional Semi Fixtures

Bartonstien vs. Estresse Intenso @ CBBC Dome
Altanar vs. Schorteskatascansolani @ TeleBaz Stadium

Regional Quarter Finals

Northern Bettia 5-0 Cesibia
Random toast 1-3 Turruth Gordur
Quintessence of Dust 3-0 Etres Vrais
Kelssek 0-3 Zwangzug

Regional Semi Finals

Northern Bettia vs Turruth Gordur (Xed City Stadium)
Quintessence of Dust vs Zwangzug (Jinkton City Field)

Editorial: Schorteskatascansolani Needs To Improve

So, I know it's tough being an international soccer fan in Schorteskatascansolani. It's back on Channel 54 after a wisecrack by Master Guillaume. But we were doing pretty good in there. We won five games straight.

Then there was that 2-2 draw against Houersteinzer. That was depressing. It just goes to show that you can't take teams for granted. That's what we did. We were cocky. We were sloppy. Things just didn't work.

Now up and here again, another 2-2 draw. Against The Aqua Moose. Bottom of the other division. Doesn't that stink? Aqua Moose is a No Good Team. And all we could manage was a 2-2 draw. I know Duke has his bad days and that he's not as good as Bower. [Evidently the author is not a Zizkaberg fan, who believe that Duke is the greatest ever.] But Bower was responsible for the 2-2 draw against Hoeursteinzer. Those were goals that shouldn't have happened. OK, one was Elmes being sloppy with a kick and sending it back when Bower wasn't ready. The other one was a penalty where the taker got lucky. But still, come on. It was obvious that our squad was not at our best.

We still won, top of the league! Fat lot of good that did us. We got to to play the bottom of Group C, and got another 2-2 draw. There you can't have any excuses. Aqua Moose played a creditable game. We were the better squad, but we were not playing with the form we should have been. Look at Bush's fumbling steps in the 28th minute. That should have been a clear goal for us, but the other team got the ball instead. Then there was MacNaughton. I don't know why that jellyfish ever made it onto the World Cup squad. He has got to be the worst striker in the history of the sport. We could have done better if we have put a big pole in the middle of the field, because then balls might have bounced off of it towards the other team's goal. Balls that hit MacNaughton usually end up cracking one of his ribs.

It has got to be a plot to get Trinity Chapel fans to watch. Why else do you get McAlly, Pazura, and MacNaughton all playing in one game? We may as well have had children playing. At least Towler, Genovese, and van Rijswijk from the Zizkaberg squad. (Yes, they're children. Seventeen, eighteen, and nineteen still count.) I seriously hope they do not put any of them in any of the other games that we'll be playing. Best way to a loss.

So, basically, Schorteskatascansolani has to shape up. And I don't just mean the players. You! The people who are reading this! Take a week off work, fly to Balazonia [sic], and cheer our boys on! At the rate people are buying tickets out there, you'll be able to get a front row view of your favourite player for practically nothing! We need to have the fifty thousand voices resounding SCHOR SCHOR SCHOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRR so that the whole town can hear it. We need to have the people out there who start singing the national anthem at kickoff, sing straight through halftime, and sing all the way to three minutes after our team has won.

And you soccer players, don't think I'm letting you off the hook! You have to show some determination out there! You can't just lay about on the field and expect a 5-0 win to bop you on the head! Show some energy! Show some national pride! Start working with those teammates of yours and start showing the world what Schorteskatascansolanians are made of!

Despite that rather poor first ninety minutes, I was proud of you in overtime. You got the message. You wouldn't let yourself be the "poor old team that didn't win." You started moving. You started playing. Those two goals from Giddins were phenomenal. The whole rest of the team showed it, too. That was beautiful.

You keep that up against Altanar! Maybe we'll actually get somewhere. Maybe a Cup is not too much to dream for our first time out!

SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Master Djibrille Nitra Dzimouk is a sports commentator for Teleray. His column will not appear at its usual time tomorrow, because he has booked the 12:42 flight to Balazonia.


---------------

The Squad for the next match will be:

Bower in goal
Nioplias, Torpey, Vishnevskij, and Alexander in defense
Giddins as captain, Platt, Elliot, and Stott in midfield
Priest and Bush as strikers

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/media/natl-telegraph.jpg
HA HA, WE LOST IN SPORTS AGAIN. What did we tell you? Trying is pointless.

Kelssek lose in quarter-final stunner

Answers are being sought after Kelssek progressed easily from the group stage unbeaten with four wins and one draw and looked favorites to win the Baptism of Fire, only to suffer a stunning 3-0 defeat against unfancied, cellar-dwelling Zwangzug.

No one seems quite sure how it happened, but it did. Kelssek played hard but couldn't score, while two goals slipped past Lawrence Feeley with little apparent effort on the part of Zwangzug. We'll forget about the first one, of course, which went through Feeley more than past him in a colossal gaffe as he apparently failed to grip the ball in time to prevent it dropping and rolling past the goal line.

But that probably set the bizzarre series of events into motion, though manager Mathieu de Jenken probably will blame the referee for some questionable early calls which had Kelssek thinking more about the officiating than about their opponents.

And that was probably the answer. No spark, no inspiration. They knew they should have and needed to win. But they didn't seem to feel it.

---

The notice on the entrance to the dark, yet well-travelled alleyway was remarkably joyous, in a menacing kind of way. It was pasted right under a chalkboard which had things like "N Bettia win BOF 3-1" and "Faucons PK >80% 12-1"

You thought you could make a quick buck off me, but who's laughing now, football fans? HAHAHAHA! Yes, me.

- Bob.

Twas quarter-final day in the Baptism of Fire and, as always, the good people of Bettia were taking a keen interest in their puppet's progress in the Baptism of Fire tournament. Some were worried that nerves may get the better of them in these latter stages, whilst some were worried that ill-discipline and an over-abundance of red cards might make things a bit tricky. They needn't have worried though...

As we have many times before, we set our scene in the Pie and Pixie, that well-loved, almost trendy sports café set in the suburbs of Gabalfa. The crunch quarter-final against Cesibia was well in progress, the time on the on-screen clock read 80-ish minutes had been played, and the Fire Ants were four goals up and cruising, helped somewhat by the fact that their unsporting tactics had reduced their opponents' numbers to nine men.

Suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, a familiar figure bursts in through the front door. Horribly late? There's only one man who turns up for key matches horirbly late, isn't there? Well, no - now there's two, for this just happens to be Ali, who makes his way to his usual table clutching his newly-adopted silver arora under his arm.

"Bloody 'ell mate, took your time didn't you?" George asked.

"Sorry mate, not my fault. My little friend Bapty here got a little peckish... and when aroras get peckish, they get peckish!"

"Bapty?"

"Yeah, Bapty. You know - Bapty... Baptism of Fire... 'cos it's the Baptism of Fire right now."

"Oh, very smart mate, very intelligent. I would never have got that if you hadn't explained it." George replied, clapping mockingly. "Just think of marketing opportunities... yes, I could see it now - Bapty: Official Mascot of the Baptism of Fire!"

"Wow! Really?"

"No, of course not, you daft old bugger!"

"But think about it - T-shirts! Posters! Cuddly Baptys with replica tin-foil BoF trophies stuck on their heads! We'll be coining it in!"

"Ye-es, of course we will mate, whatever. As if the NSFA would really... yes, go on my son!" George suddenly yells as Gwrlais Devanallt bursts into the penalty area, skips past one despairing challenge, then thumps the ball emphatically home to score his third and the Fire Ants' fifth. The P&P burst into a spontaneous eruption of noise for the umpteenth time today.

"YEEEEESSSeeeyowch!"

George's cheer had suddenly changed from a cry of joy into a yelp of pain. Wincing, he sat back down and clutched his leg.

"What the bloody hell..." he mutters as he peers down below the table. "Ummmm... Ali?"

"Yes mate? Everything okay?"

"Uh-huh. Well, apart from the blood trickling down my leg but anyway.... are you aware there's half a dozen baby aroras scuttling around under our table?"

"Hmmm? Oh, them. Yes."

"O-kay. So, how did they get here?"

"Oh, didn't I tell you? Well, remember when Bapty first showed up? I took her and fed her and what have you, and you'll never guess what? The next morning, these little blighters were scuttling around the house. The bloody thing was only pregnant, weren't she?"

"What? Pregnant? Didn't you notice she was pregnant when you took her home?"

"Well, no. I mean, how do you tell if an arora's pregnant anyway? I always thought they laid masses of jelly-like eggs in ponds."

"Nah, I think that's frogs."

"So anyway, there I am thinking..."

"Oh God!" George groaned.

"...now I have a half-dozen baby aroras on my hands, and an idea comes to me." Ali paused as he picked up one of the babies, then reached into his pocket and took out a miniature Baptism of Fire trophy, lovingly crafted out of the finest cardboard and tin foil, with a loop of sticky tape stuck on the back.

"Ta daaaa!" he trumpeted triumphantly as he presented his baby-arora-with-tinfoil-cup-stuck-on-its-head. "There! Still think the cuddly Bapty is a crap idea?"

Regional Quarter Finals

Northern Bettia 5-0 Cesibia
Random toast 1-3 Turruth Gordur
Quintessence of Dust 3-0 Etres Vrais
Kelssek 0-3 Zwangzug

Regional Semi Finals

Northern Bettia vs Turruth Gordur (Xed City Stadium)
Quintessence of Dust vs Zwangzug (Jinkton City Field)

Liz Kitten: "Random Toast are out!"
Dr Richard Spandit: "Thats right Liz, we were beaten today by the better team fair and square. Good luck to Turruth, we will have to concentrate on the World Cup and BNW League and take each game as it comes."
Liz: "OK, bye, I'm off shopping again."

Deep in the gloomy depths of a football stadium, a weak light crawls out from within the office of Gorgol “The Butcher” Harad. As he sits in the dim of his office reading several documents, a lone fellow strolls out of the shadows and approaches his desk.

The Butcher is unperturbed, save a raised eyebrow. “It takes a pair of brass ones to just waltz into my office like that,” he mutters. “I have a fleeting sense of admiration for your blind courage, so you have my attention for at least a few minutes. Speak.”

“Mr. Harad, I’m a new reporter assigned to this beat,” says the young man. Dark, long hair covers part of his face, and every so often, he brushes the hair from his eyes. “It’s an honor to meet you. My name is—”

“IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!” bellows The Butcher. “What the @#$% is your question? You’re bothering me!”

Unfazed, the young man stands his ground. “Well, then... Your thoughts on the game versus Random Toast? A simple glance at the score sheet makes it seem Turruth Gordur won comfortably—3-1. But, as we saw, that was far from the truth.”

The Butcher stares back at the young man, tightlipped for a few moments.

“Yes, it’s true,” The Butcher finally says in a deep voice. “We have prior history with Random Toast. Coming into this game, they knew how rough we are, so they tried to do the same... UH-UH! BIG MISTAKE, you $^&%!$! They tried pushing our players around, trying to disrupt our forwards. After Draco Glaurung’s first goal, that #$%^! Spontaneous Violence has the gall to tackle Draco as he ran to the sidelines to celebrate. Draco’s rolling on the ground. I’m thinking I may have just lost one of my best players—Draco’s tougher than nails, though—and Violence is raising his arms over him. I am not responsible for the beating he got from Lurtz Azog, Anglachel Beleg, Sharku Warg and Boldog Gothmog. You just don’t mess with us. Yeah, some of their players got involved, but it wasn’t us needing subs in the second half because our players were hobbling around the field in bloody messes.”

The young man nods. “What about Draco’s second goal?”

“Ah, yes,” whispers The Butcher. “By that time, they were on the proverbial ropes. Their keeper made a few lucky saves that kept us from increasing the score. But, even the best keepers eventually fall to Draco. His goal in the 85th minute was the nail in the coffin. At the end, Random Toast had no crunch at all—they were soggy—soaked in their own blood, sweat and piss.” He pounds his fist into his table.

“DRACO!” The Butcher roars. “I grow weary of this reporter; address him while I finish my notes.” As The Butcher returns to his seat, a figure emerges from a dark corridor in one of the corners of the room. Draco comes into the faint light. A solid, fierce young man, with a steely glare, he approaches the young reporter, brushing long strands of jet-black hair from his face.

“Draco...this is quite a surprise,” says the young reporter with a slightly noticeable change in the pitch of his voice at the sudden turn of events. “You’ve never addressed the media before.... Uh, well, yes... Your thoughts on this game, please?”

“...Random Toast attempted to beat us at our own game and failed,” says Draco in a raspy voice.

“What about the foul by Violence, and the goals?” the young reporter asks.

“...The foul was uncalled for. Our team justly promotes a severe reputation but I am a striker and the focus of my violence is on the opposing team’s net. But, I am far from a pushover, as you have seen. Mess with me...and I break you. Tonight we didn’t just break Random Toast, we wrecked them.”

“The team’s attitude and reputation, wherein is it rooted?” the young reporter asks.

“We are loud. We are brutal. We are uncompromising. We are Turruth Gordur and we have no regrets and fear less. Many have said that this team is a microcosm of the Empire; that we reflect the society of Turruth Gordur. Let them believe what they want. Unless they personally visit our Empire, they can say what they want. It matters not once we have them at our mercy on the field.”

“Strong words, Draco. Which team would you say is your toughest rival?” the young reporter asks.

“I don’t know if you could call our relationship with Assegai Developments a rivalry because that is rooted in our history and culture. However, a true rivalry...we would have to say either Random Toast or Elves Security Forces. ESF are the most arrogant team we have ever encountered and we’d love nothing more than to slap the spit out of their mouths in a future encounter. They beat us once before, though, and we know they are a worthy opponent—it is a rivalry after all.”

“Draco—”

“THAT’S ENOUGH!” screams The Butcher, pounding his fist on his desk. “Draco has unfinished business in the team’s conference room. Draco, you’re dismissed.”

Draco nods at him quickly strides away.

The Butcher gets up and saunters over to the young reporter, who looks up at the towering figure.

“You have more than worn out your welcome,” says The Butcher in a gentle voice. “Get out.”

The young reporter brushes the hair away from his face, does an about face and leaves the office.

Game Summary

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/random_toast.png Random Toast 1
http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/turruth_gordur.png Turruth Gordur 3

[RT]
Cheesy Cheese (68’)

[TG]
Draco Glaurung (12’, 85’)
Dagor Bragollach (56’)

Zwangzug's e-Lipogram
Having Hap is Happy

"That's right."

So did forward Yul Maughum boast following his first goal, which Zwangzug's football opposition didn't rally from. And right Maughum was: subdogs to 1/2 finals in a thrilling rout. Following his goal was a simplistic point from Olson. A rotation of officials in that matchup's 2nd half was slightly promising for Zwangzug's opposition, but Zwangzug's captain was front and middling to maintain status quo. Stings put Zwangzug's final point in its opposition's goal, Maughum having an assist.

It looks as if that is right. With Zwangzug's squad now knowing joys from this mythical "hap" (lacking it in group play, it had poor scoring), and a guard staying up, who knows how high it could climb? (Toomin counts not: sorry, Jacob Barons and company (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ketrianism), "company" not signifying Ruck or Zwangzug's midturf.) A third matchup against dust's natural form (Zwangzug is 0-2 against Quod) will occur tonight.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/72/Band_logo.png

BE CALM TELEVISION: DEFENDER IS HERO OF THE GAME TODAY
Commented by Doctor Santiago Sampaio
With comments of Doctor Haroldo Sassarel
- with in-game comments of Doctor Vittorio Mendonça -

http://img249.imageshack.us/img249/3521/italybaresisre8.jpg
The defenders were the best players in this game

DR. SAMPAIO: “Thanks for watching our program. Of course many of you don’t want to watch our program, but you are obligated to do so. Today we’ll continue with our exclusive coverage of the Baptism of Fire, trying to win a title that our main rivals, Cafundéu, didn’t. After a very difficult game, when our team had to use all its resources, Estresse Intenso defeated Croisland scoring a goal in the last minutes of the game. Now we’ll play against Bartonstein in the quarter-finals.”

DR. SASSAREL: “It was a very difficult game, as our opponent could stop many attacks made by our team. The coach made changes in the team trying to increase the offensive power of the team, but these chances weren’t sucessful. Luckily, with less than five minutes remaining for the end of the game, our team scored from a corner kick. And the scorer was a defender.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “Not many highlights in this game, as it was a very tough one, but we’ll show all of them to you. Estresse Intenso started the game wanting to score many goals, confident that could have an easy win. Croisland defended, but its counterattacks started to be very dangerous. Soon Estresse Intenso’s players realized that it wouldn’t be an easy game.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “In the first moments our team had some good chances to score, the first one with the striker Gabalán. He received the ball from Dos Alpes inside the area, dribbled an opponent and shot to the goal. The ball hit the post and then left the playing field. Some minutes after, Bogdan dribbled two opponents and was fouled. Ponte Pênsil took the free kick and the goalkeeper made a marvelous save.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “After nearly fifteen minutes of extreme pressure, Croisland started to stop all our attacks and create dangerous counterattacks. In one of them, an attacker intercepted a pass made by Dumitrache to Sardinha, and shot from outside the area. Prunella made a good save. Estresse Intenso replied with Bogdan, shooting from outside the area too, but missing the goal. In another chance, Prunella saved again.”

DR. SASSAREL: “These were very complicated minutes, as our team wasn’t expecting such a difficult game. They started to learn how to play against Croisland and the defense was very important, as they could avoid suffering a goal. The attackers weren’t in top form, and soon the coach thought about making changes. After some minutes, Gabalán asked to leave, probably injured after a foul suffered one minute ago, when the referee didn’t show any card. Here are the comments of the coach”:

“This isn’t an easy game, they have strong counterattacks and can score. Our attackers aren’t performing well, maybe we need a change. (Hears someone) What are you saying? Gabalán is limping? Yes, I see, maybe is because of that foul. I’ll ask him. Gabalán, are you fine? He isn’t hearing me. Give me this board, I’ll write. (Writes “Are you fine?” in the board) He is answering... is asking to be substituted. It’s sad, but we have to do it. Mendes, you’ll enter!”

DR. SAMPAIO: “Gabalán left the game with minor pains in his knee, and after that the team had only one chance with Dos Alpes, but he sent the ball wide. The first half ended in a goalless draw and all the supporters and players were hoping for a better second half, as the first one wasn’t good. The second half started with no changes in both teams.”

http://img329.imageshack.us/img329/874/itaxuruscf5.jpg
A complicated and close game

DR. SASSAREL: “If you see the team in the first minutes of the second half, you’ll see that Mendonça decided to change the formation, aiming a more offensive attitude. Bogdan acted like a third attacker, with Dumitrache helping to create the plays. I don’t think that it was a good change, as Bogdan isn’t a natural attacker, and is very important in our midfield. He would soon see that.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “Estresse Intenso attacked very much in the first minutes of the second half, but in fast and disorganized plays. In one Mendes crossed the ball to the area, but didn’t find anyone. In other, Dumitrache shot the ball from outside the area, but it went over the bar. Croisland didn’t attack, but the defense was playing very well.”

DR. SASSAREL: “Soon the coach noticed that his changes weren’t good and put the offensive midfielder César Nobre in Dumitrache’s place, staying with an offensive attitude, but more organized. In our in-game camera we can see that”:

“Bogdan isn’t an attacker... no, we won’t score this way, I have to change. I’ll put Nobre. Let’s choose someone to leave... Dumitrache.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “The team really looked better after César Nobre entered. With more intelligent attacks. Croisland’s players noticed that and strengthened their defense, closing all the breaches and don’t giving space for Estresse Intenso’s players. The best changes of our team were in long ranged shots, with César Nobre and Ponte Pênsil, but they were unsucessful. The coach started to think what he would have to make.”

DR. SASSAREL: “But Croisland practically stopped to attack and was just defending. Estresse Intenso pressed, trying to invade the area, but couldn’t. Soon it became clear to Mendonça that the only way to score would be in aerial plays, and asked for the players to start to cross the ball to the area. There were two good chances with Sardinha, heading the ball and sending it wide.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “With ten minutes remaining for the end of the game, Ponte Pênsil fell asleep. He didn’t sleep in the last week and had to compensate, sleeping for a whole day. Unfortunately, Mendonça didn’t remember this and put him to play the game. Lacerda entered in Ponte’s place.”

DR. SASSAREL: “It was really a weird situation, a player falling asleep on the ground... but Lacerda entered in the game wanting to score. In his first play, he was able to invade the area and shot to the goal. The goalkeeper saved. Croisland tried some counterattacks, but Sardinha blocked all of them dominating the midfield.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “The game was ending, and Landau’s players continued attacking. In one of the last minutes of the game, Estresse Intenso won a corner. Dos Alpes took it and Manga headed with accuracy, and the ball went inside the goal. The goal of the victory”:

"Well, I guess that we need to get prepared for the extra time, we probably won’t score from a corner. GOOAL! GOOAL! GOOAL! We scored! We scored! We scored!"

DR. SASSAREL: “Manga became the hero of the game, although the authorities considered Sardinha the best player of the game. Sardinha was wonderful too and deserved it. The coach commented the game”:

“This was a difficult game. Their defense was a solid wall and we couldn’t invade it. Our attack tried hard, but their defense was superior. And I can say that our defense was superior to their attack too. So this was a defensive game, as even the scorer was a defender. Our next game probably will be more difficult, and our team will be: Prunella, Pindaré, Godói, Manga and Flores; Sardinha, Dumitrache, Dos Alpes and Bogdan; Ponte Pênsil and Gabalán. Gabalán’s injury isn’t serious and he’ll be ready to play the next game.”

http://img106.imageshack.us/img106/3655/engxparsnd9.jpg
Croisland tried, but didn't win

DR. SAMPAIO: “Now to the stats”:

ESTRESSE INTENSO 1x0 CROISLAND

Place: Via Voleta Dome, in Bazalonia.
Attendance: 62,000 people.
MOTM: Eurico Sardinha (E.I.).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/estresse_intenso.png ESTRESSE INTENSO: Prunella, Pindaré, Godói, Manga and Flores; Sardinha, Dumitrache (César Nobre 60’), Dos Alpes and Bogdan; Ponte Pênsil (Lacerda 80’) and Gabalán (Mendes 38’).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/croisland.png CROISLAND: no team released.

Goals:EIT: Manga 87’.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Goalscorers after 13 games:

10- C. Gabalán
4- Bogdan and F. Ponte Pênsil
2- V. Dos Alpes and A. Dumitrache
1- B. Erkisson, Bergue and V. Manga

“Are we on the air yet?”

BZZZZT

“Is that better? We almost lost the signal”

A thin fellow in a dark suit comes into view of the camera as the signal fades in an out. He wipes a dark strand of hair from his eyes and raises a microphone to his face.

“Turruth Gordur, this is— ” BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT “...ming to you live on Pirate Radio, from the dressing room of the Empire’s National Football Team.” BZZZZZZZZZT “...talking to team captain Draco Glaurung in a few moments.”

BZZZZZZZZZZZT

“...ease forgive any static or interruptions as we are indeed transmitting from a pirate signal,” the reporter states calmly. “As we all know, the Empire has forbidden broadcasting of any kind that isn’t government approved...and, heh...up the Empire’s BZZZZT...”

“Did we lose the signal?”

“Nah, we’re okay.”

“Good...Well, here we have the Empire’s team captain Draco Glaurung to talk to us about the team’s rematch with Northern Bettia in the regional semifinals.”

Draco Glaurung comes into view, removing his Empire of Turruth Gordur jersey, revealing a chiseled body with several scars across his chest and shoulders. He approaches the camera and wipes long strands of hair from his eyes, looking dead serious.

“There is only one Empire—Turruth Gordur,” he says. “We may have lost to Northern Bettia in our previous encounter, and for a while it seemed we were moribund. Opponents came at us with ferocity—yes—but they had no idea that after our last setback we had all signed a pact in blood. After all, in this, our darkest moment, who are we, really? Character is what you are in the dark.”

“Yes, I must say that the team played as if driven by demons against Random Toast,” the reporter nodded.

“We are a step closer to Baptism of Fire glory but we have squandered numerous opportunities to not only take the lead in previous games, but extend it,” Draco continued. “Our team manager, coach Harad, is not to blame for any of our shortcomings. If anything, he has prepared us mentally for the hardest of times, and, if we cannot rebound from our toughest losses, we really don’t belong on this stage. That would be like showing up to a gunfight with a butter knife. In the Baptism of Fire, in the Nation States World Cup, in any tournament...we come strong or don’t come at all.”

The reporter nods. “What was the atmosphere like in the dressing room following the victory over Random Toast?” As he finishes his question, a stocky but sturdy fellow with blond hair tied back comes into view.

“Random Toast are a regional rival,” Draco begins. “Playing them was an honor…for both of our nations—it was something to celebrate, really. Our supporters were cheering loudly for us at the end. That is the ultimate reward, and our team manager lauded our integrity after the game. He called out every member of the team and congratulated us for staying onboard and fighting tooth and nail to the end. We’re all still here. By the way, a big reason we won tonight, was our sharp keeper Gorbag Madril.”

Draco pats Gorbag on the back, nods at the reporter and leaves for the showers.

“Gorbag, an honor, really,” the reporter salutes him.

“Ah, the honor is truly mine,” responds Gorbag in a deep, deep bass, returning the salute. “After giving losing those games in the first round I was beginning to wonder if we’d get another win. There are many factors that go into a game like this, but in the end, you have to keep that ball out of the net, no matter what.”

“What happens now,” the reporter asks.

“We’re going to rip through Northern Bettia,” Gorbag responds with a hint of anger in his voice. “We’ve not given up the hunt!”

The reporter nods then looks at the camera. “What’s this? They’ve zeroed in on our signal?”

BZZZZZZT

“We already got what we wanted... By the time they get here, we’ll be long gone anyway.”

“Signing off from Quakmybush, this is—”

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/northern_bettia.png Northern Bettia
vs.
http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/turruth_gordur.png Turruth Gordur

Baptism of Fire Knockouts

Regional Semi Finals
Bartonstein 0-3 Estresse Intenso @ CBBC Dome
Altanar 0-2 Schorteskatascansolani @ TeleBaz Stadium

Regional Finals:

Estresse Intenso vs. Schorteskatascansolani @ TeleBaz Stadium

Northern Bettia 2-0 Turruth Gordur
Quintessence of Dust 2-0 Zwangzug


Regional Final
Northern Bettia vs Quintessence of Dust (Xed City Stadium)

YET ANOTHER GLORIOUS VICTORY

Schorteskatascansolani defeated Altanar by two goals to zero. It was a very solidly played game. Altanar had some strong moments, but we gradually ground them down. Greatly lauded is the performance of Priest and Bush together as strikers. They are proving themselves to be every inch of the reputation they have as the famous pair heading Zizkaberg's lineup.

Giddins is playing remarkably well with Stott, considering that the two have very different personalities. Jalen Giddins has only gotten two yellow cards in his life, both in the same game: he received a booking for a tackle from behind, then another one minute later for arguing with the referee -- he kept insisting he be sent off for the offense. Stott is a mean-spirited player who is good enough to sometimes get away with some offenses. Thus far there have not been too many personality conflicts: Giddins has the air of a captain's leadership about him, and uses it properly on the pitch.

As it turned out, the nutjobs and mental cases won the other half of the semifinals, so it turns out we will be playing Estresse Intenso one last time. We have defeated them twice already; can we do so a third time, when it really counts?

Says defender Valerij Vishnevskij, "We know how they play and we are a superior team. We have just played at TeleBaz Stadium, but Estresse Intenso will be somewhat new to it. I would say we have the edge."

Says midfielder Patryk Pazura, "Who knows. Anything can happen. I hope we win."

Says coach Master Wenzel Jahn Strichedonija, "I have the highest confidence in my players. They've shown serious improvement since our ignominious draws. I think we may have the chance to win it all. However, we can't be getting cocky. Things like that can be ruinous to a team."

The Squad for the next match will be:

Bower in goal (substitute Duke as needed)
Nioplias, Torpey, Vishnevskij, and Alexander in defense (substitute Verbir as needed)
Giddins as captain, Platt, Elliot, and Stott in midfield (substitute Kapetanopoulos as needed)
Priest and Bush as strikers (substitute Gilmore as needed)

After overcoming Turruth Gordur in the last round, Northern Bettia now found themselves pitted once again against Quintessence of Dust for the right to compete in the Baptism of Fire final, and as per usual the good people of their master nation were settling down to partake in some quality footy-watching couple with a hefty dose of screaming at the telly. After all, the Fire Ants were one step closer to making history, and so the whole nation was taking a keen interest.

Rather predictably, one such place where interest is being shown is Pifton, that oh-so-lovely suburb of the nation's capital. And who's this, all red of face and puffed of cheeks, running (or attempting to run) down the High Street? Why it's our old friend George! Surely he's not going to miss the kick-off? (although let's be fair, it would be a return to form if he did)

"Can't.... can't be late!" he huffs as he hauls his tired old frame ever closer to his favourite haunt, the Pie and Pixie. Out of breath, he opens the door, staggers in and stops. That's odd. Normally, the café's customers would be decked in their team colours, but today, they're all wearing white T-shirts... cheap off-white T-shirts with a blurry photo of an arora with a tin-foil Baptism of Fire cup stuck to its head.

"Ali." he mutters under his breath as he makes his way to usual space. Sure enough, his oldest pal is sat there with Bapty plonked firmly on his lap, and a large box sat in front of him on the table top. "What the hell is all this?"

Ali grins broadly. "What d'you think?" he says as he pulls out a T-shirt which he hopes is big enough to fit around George's pot-belly.

"Well, what can I say? You actually went through with your hair-brained Baptism of Fire mascot scheme."

"Hair-brained? No way. I said I'd be coining it, and I am. Here!" he says as he shoves a cardboard replica of the BoF trophy into George's hands. George stands there looking a wee bit flabbergasted, baggy T-shirt in one hand, tin-foil cup in the other.

"You seriously want me to wear this?"

"Yeah, go on. Go with the flow - and make it quick, you're blocking the screen."

George turns around and, upon seeing the two teams striding onto the Xed City pitch, relunctantly decides to pull the shirt over his head, his weary old arms sliding through the sleeve-holes accompanied by a grunt. Eventually he sits down and takes in the live pictures, ignoring the pair of baby aroras fighting over who would get custody of his trouser leg.

"Well at least these guys don't play in red. I mean, could you believe what happened yesterday?"

"I know - shocking weren't it? I mean, a team... wearing red... the most evil of colours... out of CHOICE?!"

"Tssch! What is the NS-World coming to?"


Fixtures / Results

Regional Knock-Out Stages

RFN: Quintessence of Dust
RSF: Turruth Gordur.......W 2-0
RQF: Cesibia..............W 5-0

Group A

MD1: Zwangzug.............W 2-0
MD2: Quintessence of Dust L 3-4
MD3: Turruth Gordur.......W 2-1
MD4: Zwangzug.............W 2-0
MD5: Quintessence of Dust W 2-1
MD6: Turruth Gordur.......W 3-1

The New Cleethorpes Enquirer
Straight victories set up regional thriller

After defeating Etres Vrais and Zwangzug in the knock-out stages of the Baptism of Fire competition, Quintessence of Dust have progressed to the regional final. There they will face Northern Bettia, so far the only team to have beaten them, in what looks set to be an exciting encounter. With ticket touting on the Internet reaching epic proportions and viewing figures projected to surpass the previous record of 'two stoned teenagers and a bored cat' the event will be watched by more Quodites than any previous in the nation's sporting history. All that's needed now is that the team provide a worthy performance.

They earned the opportunity having finished second in their group - to Northern Bettia - and proceeding to the qualifying round in good form. There they faced Etres Vrais, scoring three goals and conceding none as they dominated throughout the 90 minutes. Captain Theodore Littlefellow was the hero, tearing up and down the left flank, making tackle upon tackle, scoring two goals, and setting up the other with a precise cross that found Roger Longhorn in oceans of space, free to powerfully volley home.

Littlefellow's goals topped and tailed the match. Within five minutes Quintessence of Dust was 1-0 up, after he drove in a shot from a seemingly impossible angle. Several other chances followed, with opposite wing-back David Yellowback also impressive, but it took until the second half for them to make it two, with Littlefellow setting up Longhorn. Then, in the dying moments of the game, Dino Achten was tripped, with Littlefellow blasting in the resultant free kick as Frederic Renard forsook the opportunity to take it. The players spent the rest of the game earnestly contemplating the inherent strangeness of a word like 'forsook'.

Although Etres Vrais never really threatened to score, there was solid defending from the back line, and good interplay with the midfield. Peter Rogers suffered his first disappointment, turning in a relatively weak performance in which he scuffed two scoring possibilities and picked up a silly booking (there were also yellow cards for Yellowback and goalkeeper Winchester Furman); he was substited on the 74th minute for Jessica Jensen.

The next match saw the team's third encounter with Zwangzug, returning once again to the Jinkton City Field, with which the players had become decidedly familiar. The game was considerably closer, but they won out through a mixture of determination and luck, with Zwangzug perhaps unlucky not to be awarded a penalty early in the game when Charles Williams appeared to handle the ball.

The team tried out a new formation, with Littlefellow switching to play left midfield and Achten moving to his favoured central role behind the midfield. Late on, Marberger moved up to join him, creating a 3-2-3-2 formation that coach Jeremy Dixon has indicated will be replicated against Northern Bettia. It seemed to work in the Zwangzug, with Achten tackling and passing confidently and Littlefellow energetic on the left flank. There was a change up front too, with Young more obviously occupying the hole behind Longhorn, again seemingly a success.

Goals were scored by Littlefellow, again, and Young, both collecting their fourth goals of the tournament to set up a four-way tie for highest scorer with Rogers and Longhorn. Though winning will be foremost in their minds, that minor competition could provide an entertaining sideline. Littlefellow's was a typically long range whack, cutting in from the left margin to strike through a row of bemused defenders, while Young's came only moments later: a long ball from Azzinio was played down by Longhorn to Rogers, who thought quickly and brilliantly fed Renard into space in the corner from which he unfurled a dangerous cross, curling back across the face of goal; Young's outstretched leg found it, and the ball found the back of the net.

Three bookings were also picked up, meaning six start on a yellow against Northern Bettia, and Dixon will be keen to improve on discipline for the World Cup or else face the risk of suspensions. Benvolio Azzinio and Robert Robson, replacing Longhorn and Williams, both got twenty minutes at the end, but the familiar eleven will start against Northern Bettia.

Probable team
1
Furman

3 5 4
Yellowback Williams Azzinio

8 11
Marberger Achten

2 7 6
Renard Rogers Littlefellow (c)

9 10
Longhorn Young

Roger plodded off the field at halftime. The two goals, coming in rapid succession, had demoralized the team, and it was hard to give a pep talk in beeps and flashing lights. Rube made an effort to give a decent one, but Phillip and Yul kept interrupting and demanding translation into Algebraic...Or else. Giving up, Rube left them with just "Did you see how many of them were involved in that last goal? The concept's called "working as a team", I believe..."

"Roger!" Jacob waved him over. "You're..." He looked like he was searching for a euphemism for "apathetic".

"Impartial," Anatoly filled in.

"Hey, I kick it towards Quintessence of Dust's goal."

"Observant."

Jacob cut to the chase. "Did number five touch the ball?"

"What? No."

Apparently satisfied with this answer, they resumed an earnest conversation about losers' inherent idealism. And for the rest of the game, Roger, a little worried he was being doubted, did kick the ball in the general direction of Quintessence of Dust's (an almost-musical phrase that rolled off his tongue like the Azure Cycle off his roommate's), sacrificing accuracy for strength. He'd be moving to Bangkok next.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/72/Band_logo.png

BE CALM TELEVISION: ESTRESSE INTENSO WINS AND IS NOW LOOKING FOR REVENGE
Commented by Doctor Santiago Sampaio
With comments of Doctor Haroldo Sassarel
- with in-game comments of Doctor Vittorio Mendonça -

http://img255.imageshack.us/img255/789/fraxhunsmd9.jpg
In the start, the game was difficult

DR. SAMPAIO: “It’s time to our exclusive Baptism of Fire coverage. Estresse Intenso had another difficult game, and could defeat the opponent team again, going to the semifinals of the competition. This game was one of the most calm and peaceful that the team have played until now. Both teams could create plays, as both defenses weren’t too tough. After the game, the supporters left the stadium satisfied with a nice game.”

DR. SASSAREL: “It really was a good game, and our team played well. The players that I most liked today were the attackers, Ponte and Gabalán; Bogdan once again was incredible, as our goalkeeper, Prunella. With this game I think that the coach could find a good style to play in the semifinals.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “Here we come to the highlights. Our team started more worried than usual, as last game was very complicated and difficult. Bartonstein explored the wings, trying to score with its tall attackers. In the first minutes, both teams were cautious, attacking with few playing and fearing the opponent’s counterattacks. The first chance was for Bartonstein. A midfielder crossed the ball and an attacker headed, but Prunella saved.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “The teams started to lose their fear after the tenth minute, starting to attack more. The defenders didn’t use violence, so the attackers found themselves free to create plays. Bartonstein attacked with an attacker, but he shot and sent the ball wide. Estresse Intenso replied with Bogdan, who received the ball in the entrance of the area and shot, sending the ball over the bar. Two minutes after, Dos Alpes received the ball from Sardinha and did the same thing.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “Then, in a creative attack, Landau’s players won a chance to score. Dumitrache passed the ball to Bogdan, who invaded the area and crossed the ball to Gabalán. A defender pushed him and the referee saw the penalty. Gabalán shot and scored the goal. The goal motivate the Landau Institute’s squad, and the players started to take the control of the game.”

DR. SASSAREL: “An intelligent play started by Dumitrache. It was a common penalty, the defender was desperated and fouled Gabalán. Our striker was able to took the penalty kick with ability, sending the ball to the left side of the goal, making his coach happy”:

“Good attack, I see that the team is improving and is having good chances to score. (Dumitrache passes the ball to Bogdan) Great ball, now cross it to the area... yes, that’s it, just score... penalty! Of course it’s a penalty, Gabalán was going to score. He’ll take it... GOAL! Just keep playing this way and we’ll win.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “Estresse Intenso, with the control of the ball, held the ball in the midfield, controlling the game. They had good goal chances, with Ponte Pênsil, Dos Alpes and Gabalán. The most clear was from a corner. Dos Alpes crossed the ball and Sardinha headed, but the goalkeeeper saved. Bartonstein also had some chances, but Prunella made many saves to hold the good result for his team.”

DR. SASSAREL: “And after many minutes of missed chances for both teams, the first half ended with the result of one against zero to Estresse Intenso. The game was very calm and good to watch, and no problems were seen in the Institute’s players. When the teams returned, Doctor Mendonça made a change in the team, putting Súrbinov in Flores’ place, changing the formation to a three-five-two very defensive, testing players to improve the team. He explained the change to the media”:

“Flores said that the linesman tried to steal his shirt during the game. He fears thieves, and didn’t want to return to the game, as he is certain that the linesman will try to steal something from him again. So, I decided to test a new formation putting Súrbinov. I hope that the team continues with a good performance and maybe scores more goals.”

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/8855/engxfrasgi3.jpg
Many goal chances were seen

DR. SASSAREL: “Súrbinov said that he wasn’t ready to play. Everybody understood that he was ready, as he lies everytime and never says the truth. The style of both teams in the second half was changed. Estresse Intenso defended a lot and had fast counterattacks, while Bartonstein continued using the wings, but this time trying to use more speed and less aerial balls.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “Bartonstein pressed Estresse Intenso in the beginning of the second half. In one play, a winger crossed the ball and an attacker headed, but Prunella made a fantastic save. In another play, an attacker invaded the area, but was tackled by the goalkeeper Prunella. In a counterattack, Bogdan passed the ball to Dos Alpes who shot. The goalkeeper saved, Ponte Pênsil took the rebound and shot again. The ball hit the post and went wide.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “The first ten minutes were exciting, with many good goal chances. The supporters couldn’t sit down, as everytime they saw something interesting happening in the field. An example is the fight between Sardinha and a Bartionstein defender. Sardinha started to act like a monkey and hit the opponent twice with his leg. The referee showed the yellow card to both players.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “The second goal of the game happened when Sardinha passed the ball to Pindaré. The full-back shot the ball from outside the area, but it hit a defender. Gabalán took the rebound, but he was tackled. Ponte Pênsil remained with the ball and shot to score the goal. Minutes after the goal, Araújo entered in Dos Alpes’ place.”

DR. SASSAREL: “Another goal that happened after a fast attack. Bartonstein’s defense didn’t see Ponte Pênsil coming so he had no difficulty to score this goal. The team is surely improving.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “Bartonstein started to play worse than before the second goal. Nervous, they missed many passes and let Estresse Intenso dominate a game that was nearly equal. Estresse Intenso attacked and had some chances to score the third. In the best of them, Dumitrache received the ball and shot, but sent the ball over the bar. After that, he was substituted by Monteiro.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “If Bartonstein still had any hopes to win, they ended when Gabalán scored the third goal of the game. Receiving the ball from Ponte Pênsil inside the area, he dribbled a defender and the goalkeeper. He lied down on the ground and hit the ball with his nose, scoring a nose goal.”

DR. SASSAREL: “It was ridiculous. Why would a player want to score a goal with his nose? Well, Gabalán did it in this game, but he could score in an easier way, but wanted to make a strange goal. Anyway, congratulations to him. This was a beautiful goal that ended with the opponent’s hopes. His coach liked it too”:

“Ponte made a great pass to Gabalán... he dribbles one... the goalkeeper... and he lies down? What is he doing? Oh my... he scored! With his nose! Is he crazy, using his nose to score a goal? I’ll have to talk with him later...”

DR. SAMPAIO: “With the victory very close, Estresse Intenso just controlled the ball waiting for the end of the game. When it happened, the players commemorated and said that they’ll do the possible and the impossible to win the next game, go to the final and win the title. The team is united and can surprise everyone. The coach agrees”:

“Today we were able to control a difficult game and score the goals in the right times. I think that we are more than ready for the next games. Our next opponent has already defeated us, but we can defeat them too. Maybe they’re overconfident, but I’ll prepare a surprise that they’ll not forget to try to win. The formation will be: Prunella, Godói, Manga and Marinho; Sardinha, Dumitrache, Dos Alpes and Bogdan; Mendes, Ponte Pênsil and Gabalán.”

http://img122.imageshack.us/img122/1940/wc8626sspm0.jpg
Bogdan was one of the stars of the game

DR. SAMPAIO: “Time for the match stats”:

ESTRESSE INTENSO 3x0 BARTONSTEIN

Place: CBBC Dome, in Bazalonia.
Attendance: 81,000 people(full).
MOTM: Fernando Ponte Pênsil (E.I.).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/estresse_intenso.png ESTRESSE INTENSO: Prunella, Pindaré, Godói, Manga and Flores (Súrbinov 45’); Sardinha, Dumitrache (Monteiro 75’), Dos Alpes (Araújo 66’) and Bogdan; Ponte Pênsil and Gabalán.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/bartonstein.png BARTONSTEIN: no team released.

Goals:EIT: Gabalán 19’/82’ , Ponte Pênsil 63’.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Goalscorers after 14 games:

12- C. Gabalán
5- F. Ponte Pênsil
4- Bogdan
2- V. Dos Alpes and A. Dumitrache
1- B. Eriksson, Bergue and V. Manga

Regional Finals

Bazalonian Region

Estresse Intenso 0-1 Schorteskatascansolani @ TeleBaz Stadium

QuakMyBushian Region

Northern Bettia 4-1 Quintessence of Dust (Xed City Stadium)


Baptism of Fire Final

Northern Bettia vs. Schorteskatascansolani @ Fort Erie Stadium (Quakmybush)

Baptism of Fire 3rd Place Play Off

Estresse Intenso vs. Quintessence of Dust @ CBBC Dome (Bazalonia)

OOC: Quakmybush was not able to scorinate today, but he will be able to scorinate the Final.

DESPATCHES

My lord, I am pleased to inform you that we have won the regional semi-finals here in Bazalonia. We squeaked a 1-0 victory against Estresse Intenso, this being our third victory over said team. Our team will begin flying within the next half-hour to Quakmybush where we will be playing the final against Northern Bettia.

As our "embassies" there have reported, Northern Bettia is a subordinate and vassal state of Bettia, which is a so-called Football Powerhouse. In other words, my lord, they have a _lot of money_. I wouldn't be surprised to find that Northern Bettia is a World Cup class team in Baptism of Fire kits. We further have a disadvantage because Northern Bettia has been playing in Quakmybush all this time, whereas we have been playing all the time in Bazalonia; a much warmer climate.

So to sum up, my lord, don't be too disappointed if we don't win the final. Northern Bettia has shown a strong record of beating successful teams, whereas the only serious competition we've had is Estresse Intenso. Still, our players will give it our best shot, for the glory of Schorteskatascansolani. What grieves me the most is that when people read tomorrow about our loss or win, most of them will have realized for the first time that we are in this cup competition.

I am leaving this now with a courier as I have an aeroplane to board. All my best to the staff.

Yours,
Master Wenzel Jahn Strichedonija
Coach, Schorteskatascansolani International Squad

-------------

Jimmy,

Put this one in big type. Biggest face size you can get. We need everybody's attention about this. Our boys are going to the finals, wouldn't you know it! It was a beauty of a game, very closely contested. The other team played a highly offensive formation of 3-4-3. I'd like to say their defense suffered for it, but it didn't. They played solidly and we played solidly and we all played solidly and we were all solid, in a word. There was a whole lot of back and forth, several significant attempts on goal, but there was excellent play from both goalkeepers. Bush should have scored in the 41nd minute when he broke away from the defense, but he shot over the crossbar.

So, we'd been battling and were at a scoreless draw at halftime. The stadium was at a fever pitch - well, those fans that were there. You know our country, Jimmy; maybe there were seven thousand Schort fans in that whole 95000 seat stadium. I think we'll get better turnout once we start playing in the regular cup, at our home grounds. But eh, those seven thousand were noisy enough for seventy. They kept our team going. I'm proud of them for that.

When we were back on the field, Estresse Intenso mounted a huge offensive assault. These people were giving their all into it, and wouldn't you know it, with three strikers bearing down on us at once. It was all Bower could do to keep his clean sheet. I think Master Wenzel was thinking of taking him out, but he was doing so well, and Duke was a little iffy, so he kept them in. Priest hurt his ankle, though, and Gilmore came in. Ah! did he make the field catch fire! He was all steamed up, all ready to fly loose. He and Bush matched the EIT attack, blow for blow. Not literally, of course.

So we're in the 73rd minute, with everybody on edge, when Platt gets fouled a few yards toward the EIT goal from the half-way line. Direct free kick. Now that power shot of his is something to behold, and he curved it right between two defenders. And it comes around in just the right place, and Stott just happens to be there, and he gives it the fastest header you ever saw, from right outside the box. It was over the line almost before the EIT goalkeeper even realized it was going there. 1-0 Schortica! We were all pretty happy, but the Estresse Intenso fans just kept booing. What could we do? They outnumbered us ten to one.

So Master Wenzel decides to play it safe and swaps out Bush and puts Verbir in. That's a 5-4-1 formation. And we locked down for the rest of the game. Didn't let anything come close to Bower, barely even ventured over the half-way line. And we made it! We're going to Quakmybush, and I sure am hoping I'll find a good number more than 7000 fans there when I get there.

Write this up in your newspaper. Sell as many as you can. We're going to win; I can just feel it.

Regards,
Master Guillaume

PS. I heard a rumour that the squad for next match is exact same as last one, except Gilmore for Priest. We'll have to see.


'SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

The Anyuna Observer: CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE?

Fire Ants Kick Up Some Dust

Northern Bettia.................4 (Kyobu 15, Devanallt 18 35, Hiyashibara 76)
Quintessence of Dust........1 (Renard 27)

They're almost there folks. After dispatching Quintessence of Dust in the regional final, Northern Bettia are just one step away from being crowned winners of the Baptism of Fire cup. And they reached the final in style - actually, it was a variety of styles. Sometimes it was a joy to watch, sometimes you couldn't help but snigger as they seemed to get away with murder at times, and sometimes it simply brought tears to your eyes.

After their two meetings in the group stage, the head-to-head record stood at one win apiece, so the Fire Ants knew they had to be on top of their game. Right from the off, their early gameplan was clear - don't give the opponents any space. As soon as any Quintessential player was anywhere near the ball, an amber shirt was in quick attendance, whether it was a fair challenge delivered with the shoulder, a slightly harder one aimed at the shins, or a sly tug of the shirt out of the referee's eyeshot, the Ants' ploy of unsettling the opposition worked to good effect.

It wasn't long before the pressure told and, after quarter of an hour, Sakasayou was fouled after wrestling the ball off Yellowback around 25 yards from goal. A quickly taken thunderbolt from Dan Kyobu rocketed past a stranded Furman to make it one-nil. One-nil quickly became two when Gwrlais Devanallt latched onto a poor backpass from a clearly rattled Yellowback, before nutmegging Furman and walking the ball into the back of the net.

The Quintessentials quickly realised they needed to regain their composure, and to their credit they did that well. They were awarded a free-kick barely a yard outside the penalty area area Alex Yoiko made it one crunching tackle too many, causing Dennis Young to limp off with an injured ankle (although the injury wasn't a bad as first feared, and so young striker should still be fit for their following match). Frederic Renard stepped and delivered a peach of a curling shot that Ozeki was powerless to stop.

So, the score now stood at two-one - game on, right? Unfortunately for QofD, that was not the case as Northern Bettia soon restored their two-goal advantage, thanks to Devanallt's predatory instincts. The captain / president pounced on Azzinio as he dallied on the ball for a little too long before cheekily chipping it over Furman as he rushed out to meet the Fire Ants forward.

The second half saw Northern Bettia slowly but surely tighten their grip on the game, gaining more and more of a territorial advantage over their demoralised opponents as they created chance after chance. However, it wasn't until the 76th minute that they made that pressure count. Substitute Ola Hiyashibara, celebrating his dream move to top Bettian Apex League team Akani Sands, came off the bench and immediately made an impact, smashing the ball home from a rather tight angle to put a finishing gloss on their commanding performance.

So now Northern Bettia must face Schorteskatascansolani, who edged out a strong-looking Estresse Intenso in the Bazalonian regional final, and already cup final fever is hitting Northern Bettian fans both here in the colony and in Quakmybush itself. Shortly after the final whistle, this cheeky young man was spotted just outside the Xed City Stadium showing the world just how desperate he is to see his heroes play in the grand final:

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y231/bettia/72316_24.jpg

Whether he is lucky enough to find a buyer or not remains to be seen, but one thing's for sure - with thousands of Northern Bettians already in Quakmybush and thousands more expected to make the short hop over from Bettia itself turning the streets around the final venue into a veritable sea of amber and black, the Fire Ants are assured a great following as they bid to follow their masters' footsteps in lifting this coveted trophy.


Fixtures / Results

Baptism of Fire Final

FIN: Schorteskatascansolani

Regional Knock-Out Stages

RFN: Quintessence of Dust....W 2-1
RSF: Turruth Gordur..........W 2-0
RQF: Cesibia.................W 5-0

Group A

MD1: Zwangzug................W 2-0
MD2: Quintessence of Dust....L 3-4
MD3: Turruth Gordur..........W 2-1
MD4: Zwangzug................W 2-0
MD5: Quintessence of Dust ...W 2-1
MD6: Turruth Gordur..........W 3-1

OOC: the final will take place at Fort Erie Stadium

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/72/Band_logo.png

BE CALM TELEVISION: ESTRESSE INTENSO LOSES AND MENDONÇA IS ARRESTED
Commented by Doctor Santiago Sampaio
With comments of Doctor Haroldo Sassarel
- with in-game comments of Doctor Vittorio Mendonça -

http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/6445/argentinamaradonascf2.jpg
The opponents commemorated the victory

DR. SAMPAIO: “Welcome patients, to one more Baptism of Fire special program. Today we’ll talk about Estresse Intenso’s loss against Schorteskatascansolani, in a difficult game which any team could win. Our team did the best that could do, but suffered a goal and now has to play the third place game against the Quintessence of Dust. This will probably be a good game.”

DR. SASSAREL: “This was a very exciting game, with lots of goal chances in the first half. Less in the second, but still a very good game to see. Sch... oh, you know that I can’t speel this name correctly! Okay, our opponent could score a goal so they deserved the victory, although I must say that all of our players had a good game.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “And here are the highlights. Both teams started the game attacking. Mendonça’s strategy to use more the wings exploring a system with three attackers seemed very interesting, but our opponent had a solid and tall defense, which could win most of the aerial balls. Some good chances were seen in the first ten minutes, the most impressive being when Mendes passed the ball to Gabalán, who dribbled two players and shot. Bower made an incredible save.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “Schorteskatascansolani replied with a fast attack. Priest ended with the ball and shot from outside the area. Prunella saved. After the tenth minute, Estresse Intenso attacked again, this time with Bogdan, who received the ball from Dos Alpes and shot. The ball hit the post and went wide. The reply came minutes after, when Giddins, dribbled the goalkeeper and shot, but was blocked by a defender.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “The game was very fair, nice to play and exciting. Each minute you could see a good play or goal chance. No violence or discussions to destroy the harmony of the game, so it was a beautiful game. The attacks continued. Ponte Pênsil shot from a free kick, but the goalkeeper Bower saved again. Seeing such a fast game, the coach commented with his assistant”:

“I’ve never saw such a fast game. All the players are giving their best, I can’t even try to predict the result. Look, another goal chance! Missed. As I was saying, both teams seem excellent, and... look, another goal chance! Wide. Well, resuming... look, another goal chance! The goalkeeper saved!”

DR. SASSAREL: “Of course the game was exciting, but I didn’t see nothing too special. All the plays looked the same and when I saw a goal chance, I already knew that they wouldn’t score. The moves of both teams were predictable and it was easy to see that the first half would end in a draw. Nothing special for me. A fast game, with lots of attacks. Only that.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “And these attacks continued. Bush had one chance, but sent the ball over the bar. In the last chance of the first half, Dumitrache crossed the ball to the area and Manga headed, but the ball went over the bar. The first half ended and the coaches started to think about what changes would they do for the second half. When the teams were returning, the coach said”:

“This game was so fast that I can’t do any changes right now, I don’t know what I have to do. Maybe I’ll abandon the winger’s tactic and put a defender to return to the centre attacks, but I’ll wait ten or more minutes to do that. Now let’s return to the second half and hope to win.”

DR. SASSAREL: “I would do that change before the second half. It was clear that the winger tactic wasn’t working and the team needed the centre attacks. But he is the coach, and I’m only a commentator. But, if you see our style in the beginning of the second half, you’ll see that we could be playing better.”

http://img296.imageshack.us/img296/7900/engxarg3swn1.jpg
Difficult game with many attacks

DR. SAMPAIO: “The second half started like the first ended, with fast and dangerous attacks. In the first minutes, Priest had to left the game injured and Gilmore entered in his place. After approximately ten minutes since the start of the second half, the coach Vittorio Mendonça decided to put Pindaré in Dumitrache’s place, returning to the centre attack strategy.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “The team seemed the same, even after the strategy change. Good attacks were seen, most of them with Gabalán and Bogdan, the best players of the team, altough Mendes, Ponte and Dos Alpes tried to score too. When Estresse Intenso had a good attack, Schorteskatascansolani replied fast with their attacks, with Bush, Stott or Platt. Nearly twenty minutes passed and the game continued the same.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “Then, we suffered the goal. After a free kick, Stott jumped more than the Landau Institute’s defenders and headed to score the goal. He commemorated a lot. Estresse Intenso’s coach was very worried about losing the game, as he knew that scoring a goal would be a difficult job”:

“Free kick. A dangerous one. He takes it, oh no, goal. He jumped more than Manga and scored the goal...(long silence)”

DR. SASSAREL: “After so many attacks, a goal was scored. But it came from a normal play. I said that this game was only a fast one. It was a nice game, but not a world class one. We suffered the goal after a set piece and would have to make lots of attacks to score only one goal. Of course the coach would have to make serious changes in the team now, to try to score goals.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “And they came. After Schorteskatascansolani’s coach put Verbir in Bush’s place to defend more, Mendonça put Lacerda and Araújo in the places of Godói and Mendes, resulting in an ultra-offensive strategy, called “all or nothing” by the coach. With only two defenders and five attackers, which includes Bogdan and Araújo, the team could suffer more goals.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “In these last minutes of the game, Estresse Intenso attacked, but Schorteskatascansolani put all their players in the defense to secure the victory. Of course the players were very sad to lose the game, but they want to win the last game to finish the competition in the third position.”

DR. SASSAREL: “Game ended and end of Estresse Intenso’s dream to win a title that their rivals didn’t win. After the game, many Cafundelense supporters started to commemorate the loss of Estresse Intenso and created jokes. The coach was commenting the game when something unusual happened. See this video”:

“We tried. But we lost. I can’t say much about that, we did our best, but couldn’t win. But now we’ll look to the future and...”

(Suddenly, a supporter from Cafundéu starts to shout)

“You deserved to lose! Landau Institute is a place of crazy people and unsucessful doctors! You’ll never be a great team! Gabalán is not a Ganz Ijak! You were lucky to reach the semifinals!”

(Doctor Vittorio Mendonça ran to the supporter and punched his face twice. Later, he was arrested by Bazalonia’s police officers)

DR. SASSAREL: “Now, Mendonça is in a prison in the same city of the game, and Rogério Landau is trying to set him free, but it won’t be easy. The Cafundelense supporter went to the hospital and is fine. After that, I was invited to control the National Team in the last game. So the formation will be: Prunella, Pindaré, Manga and Flores; Bergue, Sardinha, Dumitrache, Dos Alpes, Bogdan and César Nobre; Gabalán.

http://img119.imageshack.us/img119/8708/engxargscf4.jpg
Estresse Intenso tried, but lost

DR. SAMPAIO: “The stats are here”:

ESTRESSE INTENSO 0x1 SCHORTESKATASCANSOLANI

Place: TeleBaz Stadium, in Bazalonia.
Attendance: 95,000 people(full).
MOTM: Bower (SCH).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/estresse_intenso.png ESTRESSE INTENSO: Prunella, Godói (Araújo 80’), Manga and Marinho; Sardinha, Dumitrache (Pindaré 55’), Dos Alpes and Bogdan; Mendes (Lacerda 80’), Ponte Pênsil and Gabalán.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schorteskatascansolani.png SCHORTESKATASCANSOLANI: Bower, Nioplias, Torpey, Vishnevskij and Alexander; Giddins, Platt, Elliot and Stott; Priest (Gilmore 46’) and Bush (Verbir 75’).

Goals:SCH: Stott 73’.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Goalscorers after 15 games:

12- C. Gabalán
5 – F. Ponte Pênsil
4- Bogdan
2- V. Dos Alpes and A. Dumitrache
1- B. Eriksson, Bergue and V. Manga

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OFFICIAL NOTE

To Bazalonia authorities,

The coach of the Estresse Intenso National Team, Vittorio Mendonça, was arrested today after punching an irritating supporter from the country of Cafundéu, named Mathias Goulart. Mr. Goulart is ok and we would like to know more about the situation of Dr. Mendonça.

We would like to know if he can leave the prison and if we need to pay a fine to set him free. Any informations about this situation would be highly appreciated.

Best Regards,
Doctor Rogério Landau,
Chairman of the Landau Institute

(Imagine this is done in a Sorkin/Schlamme walk-and-talk style...)

“Alf, hi. Thanks for coming in.” Jerry had been sitting in the hotel lobby, signing an autograph for a highly strung tourist who thought he was ABBA’s guitarist and answering a couple of questions from irritating reporters, but his relief wasn’t solely at the end of the tedium. He stood, and shook Cynus’s hand.

Alfred Cynus pretty much was Quintessential sports. From the moment he first won the Highmark City Marathon, he’d figured prominently in the nation’s limited sporting endeavours of every kind: cricket, rugby, even skiing. Football was no exception, and for a time he’d served as player-manager to the national squad, retiring when he began to develop back problems. But he’d always been around even since then, and everyone in the team was thankful for it. Respected and not a little feared, he was the kindly uncle of everyone – though this analogy was rarely employed as he was also literally the uncle of Theo Littlefellow. And while no one meant anything bad by it, suggesting this was why the hotheaded youngster had been made one of the most improbable captains in international sports was strictly verboten.

“I was happy to. Shame about today’s match: I hope they’re not too dispirited.”

“No, not at all. It was always going to be hard; mostly, they’re just pleased to be in the play-off. Coming this far was a bit of a surprise.”

“Good.”

“I’m going to go round have a few last words before tomorrow’s game: do you mind tagging along?”

“Of course.”

They set off down the corridor, talking about incidentals such as the weather and the quality of local food. They knocked and entered the first room. Winchester Furman sat on his bed eating an enormous sandwich; towards the back, it was dingy, with the curtains shut.

“Hello Mr. Alfie.”

“Hi there. Where’s Theo?”

Furman pointed behind him. “In bed. He were getting a bit excited, jumping up and down, and then he got a bit sick.”

Alfred sighed. “Well, tell him I popped my head in, and wished him good luck. Did you get someone to clean it up?”

“Oh, no there weren’t a mess: he hadn’t eaten anything.”

They eyed the two empty room service trolleys. “So his dinner…”

Furman assumed an air of guilty innocence, and tried to whistle round his sandwich. He took another bite.

“Well good luck tomorrow.”

They shut the door and exchanged mutual wry glances, and headed on. Next was David and Dino’s room, but they were out.

“Same starting team?” asked Alfred, as they walked on.

“Not Dennis, but otherwise I should think so: depends how it goes. If we go down, I might bring on Bob; if we get a lead, maybe give Jess a run around.”

“She’s doing well?”

“Yeah, very. Seems to be fitting in ok.”

They entered the Azzinios’ room. The two small brothers were both sitting at laptop computers, typing. They removed headphones.

“Alfie! Ciao!” they chorused.

“Hi there boys.”

“I’m hoping you didn’t see the match,” blushed Guilermo.

“No, you did fine. They were a bit too sharp: that’s not our fault, not anyone’s fault. And Benvolio, you looked good when you came on, I thought. Good luck tomorrow.”

“Thank you.”

Suddenly, they turned to one another and burst into a stream of high-pitched, semi-automatic chatter in Italian. They turned back.

“So…you come play for us now?”

Alfred laughed. “We’ll see, but I certainly hope not. You’re doing fine on your own.”

Jerry and Alfred left to polite nods, and went onto Dennis Young’s room. He was sitting in bed, ankle outstretched and heavily swathed in bandages. He looked up from his book, surprised, and motioned to get up.

“No, stay sitting young fellow. How’s it feeling?”

“Eh, it’s not too bad. What are you doing here?”

“Charmed, as always…”

“Sorry. I just meant: well, it’s a nice surprise.”

“Jerry says you’ll be resting tomorrow. Wise move.”

Dennis shrugged. “I think it’d be ok, but I don’t want to risk it for the World Cup.”

“Clever lad. Well, rest up. Pretty shitty of them to roll your ankle like that: make sure you score a couple next time we face up as a little reminder.

“Ha, yeah.”

With the door closed, Alfred asked Jerry, “I assume it really isn’t that bad?”

“No, it’ll be fine. More shock than anything. No bones broken: he’ll be training soon enough, hopefully.”

“Alf?”

Roger Longhorn appeared behind them, drenched in sweat. He stuck his hand.

“Nice to see you again! What are you doing here?”

“Oh, Jerry asked me to come see how you boys were doing. But then I saw you taking that shot in the box, and decided I may as well head back…”

They laughed. “Yeah, shut up: like you never missed one. Listen, I’m sweating like a pig, so I need to go shower; but I’ll see you around.”

They exchanged friendly nods, and parted directions. Alfred and Roger had played up front together in years gone by and competed in other sports as colleagues too, and there was a good-natured enmity to their relations.

Williams and Marberger were playing piano in the bar area, with Marberger seated and Williams occasionally leaning in to correct – “no, it’s like this,” he demonstrated with his hand. They looked up at approaching footsteps.

“Alf! How’s it going, old man?”

“Fine, fine. I won’t interrupt you.”

They nodded and were to resume playing, when Alfred added, “But mind yourselves: no more silly yellow cards.”

“Yes, Alf,” they groaned in discordant assent.

The other players were found in Freddy’s room, sitting round a table playing cards. They all stood and warmly shook hands with Alfred when he entered, offering him a chair, but he declined.

“No, I’ve just got in – still pretty jet-lagged. I’m going to find my room and crash. Good game?”

“You’ll be stunned to learn who’s winning,” laughed David Yellowback, while Robert Robson, surrounded by a miniature castle of chips, cackled around a foul-smelling cheroot.

“I don’t know why you always let him turn you over like this. Nice goal today, Fred.”

“Merci.”

“Well, like I say, I’m going to be hitting my room. Just wanted to say: don’t worry about going down. They were always a stronger side.” He paused with deliberation. “They were also dirty fucking cheats. So win or lose tomorrow, but don’t turn out like that, ok?”

There were laughs and nods, and Jerry and Alfred headed out.

“I’ll let you get going now.”

“Sure. How are you doing?”

“Me? I’m fine. Pleased we’ve made it this far. Means we play the maximum number of matches. So long as my defence doesn’t end the game on crutches and they manage to keep their elbows to themselves, that can only be a good thing.”

“Excellent. Well, good luck: I’ll be there in spirit, although in body, I’ll be moaning comatosely as I try to recover from jet lag.”

Baptism of Fire Knockouts

3rd Place Play Off
Estresse Intenso 2-1 Quintessence of Dust @ CBBC Dome

3rd Place - Estresse Intenso
4th Place - Quitessence of Dust

--------


To: Doctor Rogério Landau, Landau Institute
Subject: Vittorio Mendonça Incident

In, regards to the incident regarding Vittorio Mendonça and Mathias Goulart. Mr Mendonça is up on charges of Assault, the arraignment judge has set bail at 300 dollars and as a condition of his bail will be required to hand in his passport or similiar documents to authorities to ensure he does not flle the country. A trial date has been set for 2 weeks time. You are welcome to attend. As for allowing Mr Mendonça to return home. The only way this possible if there is a general or special extradition treaty between the government. I have contacted the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade and they told me that you should receive a letter from them soon. In regards to such a treaty.

Yours Sincerly, Frederick Henderson. Police Public Prosecutor, for Mathias Goulart Assault Case, #2576325-I

----

To: Doctor Rogério Landau, Landau Institute
Subject: Vittorio Mendonça Incident

We received a forwarded copy of your letter to the Police Public Prosecutor in regards to the incident regarding Vittorio Mendonça during the 3rd Place Play off in the Baptism of Fire. The assault in question has been categorised as an offence that suits the requirements as set under Clause 23a of the Criminal Act 2001. This categorisation allows for a great deal of flexibility in the handling of cases. We will be willing to extradite Mr Mendonça, as under provisions of this clause provided that one of the 2 following requirements are met.

1. Serves the full term of sentence under similiar conditions as would have occured if the individual was incarcerated in a Bazalonian prison. or...
2. Serves a sentence as determined by home nation judiciary for the same or similiar offence

Once Mr Vittorio Mendonça is sentenced and we have received written assurance that one of the requirements will be met then it is simply a matter of logistics. Thank you.

Yours Truely, Dedrick Frank
Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade

Final
Northern Bettia 6-1 Schorteskatascansolani

Congrats to Northern Bettia.

O hell! what have we here?
A carrion Death, within whose empty eye
There is a written scroll! I'll read the writing.
All that glitters is not gold;
Often have you heard that told:
Many a man his life hath sold
But my outside to behold:
Gilded tombs do worms enfold.
Had you been as wise as bold,
Young in limbs, in judgment old,
Your answer had not been inscroll'd:
Fare you well; your quest is cold.
Cold, indeed; and labour lost:
Then, farewell, heat, and welcome, frost!
Portia, adieu. I have too grieved a heart
To take a tedious leave: thus losers part.

Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice Act 2, Scene 7

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/72/Band_logo.png

BE CALM TELEVISION: ESTRESSE INTENSO FINISHES IN THIRD PLACE
Commented by Doctor Santiago Sampaio
With comments of Doctor Camila Zemek
- with in-game comments of Doctor Haroldo Sassarel -

http://img518.imageshack.us/img518/5499/fraxpolsoz2.jpg
The first half was very poor

DR. SAMPAIO: “The Baptism of Fire is finished. After another complicated game, the Landau Institute’s team could defeat Quintessence of Dust in the last minutes. As the coach Vittorio Mendonça wasn’t allowed to coach the team because of last game’s confusion, our commentator Haroldo Sassarel was invited and is the official new coach of the National Team, coaching the team in the World Cup Qualifiers. So, a new commentator was hired, and her name is Camila Zemek. Welcome, Camila.”

DR. ZEMEK: “I’m happy to be here. It’s a wonderful place and a great job, and I hope to do well. In this game, Estresse Intenso had a poor first half, but was great in the second, after some changes made in the team. The first half of the game was horrible, but the second was exciting.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “The first half had few good plays, so few highlights. During the first twenty minutes, both teams couldn’t simply reach the opponent’s area. Estresse Intenso had two chances with César Nobre shooting from outside the area, but he missed both. The Quintessence of Dust tried to score shooting from outside the area too, but Prunella made some good saves.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “Nobody would expect a goal. But it happened. Renard received the ball in the left side of the field and crossed the ball to Achten, who dribbled Pindaré and shot to score the goal. Estresse Intenso tried to attack after suffering the goal, but still couldn’t make good attacks and reached the opponent area few times, while the Quintessence of Dust had many chances.”

DR. ZEMEK: “In these first minutes the game was very boring, and the goal was a surprise. In the first good chance of the game, a goal. The player received the ball inside the area, and could score easily the goal. Of course Sassarel was furious with the team, that wasn’t playing well. He started to shout wanting changes in the team’s attitude, but it only happened in the second half”:

“I can’t believe that they scored. We are playing badly, as they are. But they could score and we couldn’t. We need to change our attitude, play with will, wanting to win. HEY YOU! PLAY! Don’t stay in the field only to fill the eleven players, do your best! This isn’t an easy job.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “After the first goal the things continued the same. Few good goal chances and the Quintessence of Dust team was playing better than Landau’s team. Prunella had to make some good saves to avoid suffering another goal, two of them very difficult, after shots from Longhorn. Estresse Intenso had a chance with Bogdan, shooting from outside the area, but he missed.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “In the last minutes of the first half, Gabalán invaded the area and shot, but the ball hit the post and went wide. The first half ended, and both teams surely were hoping to play better in the second half. Probably it was time for changes, and for complaining with the players too.”

http://img251.imageshack.us/img251/5958/fraxgerszu1.jpg
Dos Alpes left the game injured

DR. ZEMEK: “And the changes happened in both teams. Quintessence of Dust put Biber in Williams’s place, and Sassarel put Eriksson in Bergue’s place, saying that Eriksson would be a better passes, although slower, and that could help the team in invading the area to try to score. He explained”:

“It’s simple. Eriksson can be slower, but he is a better passer and we need a player like him to help Gabalán to invade the area. I’m sure that if we invade the area we can score the goal. We will win.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “Coincidence or not, five minutes after the second half started Estresse Intenso scored a goal. Bogdan dribbled an opponent and passed the ball to Gabalán, who invaded the area, dribbled the goalkeeper and shot to score the goal. The players commemorated, and Sassarel too.”

DR. ZEMEK: “A nice play, Bogdan saw Gabalán well positioned and made a perfect pass to him. Our lethal striker had no difficulties to score. Surely the coach was very happy with this goal, as we can see in our in-game camera”:

“Bogdan comes, now Gabalán... É GOL(it’s a goal)! GOOOOOL(goooooal)! This is a team! That’s the way that they must play!”

DR. SAMPAIO: “After scoring the goal, Estresse Intenso didn’t attack very much, and Quintessence of Dust tried to reply with a substituition. Young entered in Moutbatten’s place. They had some chances, but Manga and Prunella saved Landau Institute’s team in all of them. The game was still equal, but much more exciting than it was in the first half.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “Estresse Intenso had another chance when Dumitrache shot from outside the area. The goalkeeper saved, but Gabalán took the rebound and shot. Unfortunately, the ball went wide. The Quintessence of Dust tried to score with Azzinio, who headed the ball after a corner. The ball hit the post and then went wide. After that, Ponte Pênsil entered in Sardinha’s place, but he didn’t have a good game.”

DR. SAMPAIO: “Time was passing, and both teams couldn’t score. But in the injury time, Ponte Pênsil received the ball and passed it to Dos Alpes. The midfielder received it and shot. The ball made a curve and entered inside the goal. The goal of the victory. He commemorated with acrobatics, but fell in the ground and had to leave the game. Monteiro entered in his place.”

DR. ZEMEK: “Yes, he’ll probably miss the first two games of the World Cup Qualifiers, but it was a beautiful goal. The coach, Haroldo Sassarel, commemorated. After two minutes, the game ended and the victorious coach could talk about the game, his first as a coach, and with the bronze medal”:

“Few days ago I was a commentator, now I’m a coach. This is an incredible experience and it’s good to start winning. Now we must try to make a good job in the qualifiers.”

http://img48.imageshack.us/img48/2995/italysqx5.jpg
Estresse Intenso finished in the third position

DR. SAMPAIO: “Look at the stats”:

ESTRESSE INTENSO 2x1 QUINTESSENCE OF DUST

Place: CBBC Dome, in Bazalonia.
Attendance: 69,580 people.
MOTM: Carlos Alberto Gabalán (E.I.).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/estresse_intenso.png ESTRESSE INTENSO: Prunella, Pindaré, Manga and Flores; Bergue (Eriksson 45’), Sardinha (Ponte Pênsil 67’), Dumitrache, Dos Alpes (Monteiro 92’), Bogdan and César Nobre; Gabalán.
Invited Coach: Doctor Haroldo Sassarel.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/quintessence_of_dust.png QUINTESSENCE OF DUST: Furman, Yellowback, Williams (Biber 45’) and Azzinio; Marberger (Robson 76’), Achten, Renard, Rogers and Littlefellow; Longhorn and Moutbatten (Young 50’).

Goals:EIT: Gabalán 50’ , Dos Alpes 91’.
QOD: Achten 23’.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Goalscorers in the championship:

13- C. Gabalán
5- F. Ponte Pênsil
4- Bogdan
3- V. Dos Alpes
2- A. Dumitrache
1- B. Eriksson, Bergue and V. Manga

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OFFICIAL NOTE

Landau Institute Sector A, in Insanis, Estresse Intenso.

To: Dedrick Frank, of the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade

I’m writing to inform that I have just received the letters about Vittorio Mendonça’s incident, which happened during the Semifinals of the Baptism of Fire championship. After reading them, I understood that he must be judged, as his behavior isn’t acceptable. We’ll pay the bail, as he can wait for the judgement in a hotel. You will stay with his passport and I guarantee that he won’t try to flee.

After the judgement, Mendonça must be extradited, and he’ll be punished in Estresse Intenso according to our laws, but the sentence will have the same intensity of the one that he received in Bazalonia. You probably don’t know, but our sentences are very annoying, as we have many strange patients that can punish our criminals. This won’t be Mendonça’s case, of course, as he is a respected doctor in our country and will receive special treatment, but he won’t be able to treat the patients until his punishment finishes.

So we agree with your terms, assuring that the second requirement of your clause will be met, and he can return to his country.

Best Regards,
Doctor Rogério Landau
Chairman of the Landau Institute

The Anyuna Observer: smell my cheese!

History In The Making

Northern Bettia.................6 (Hiyashibara 4 76, Kyobu 35, Devanallt 38 46 83pen)
Schorteskatascansolani...1 (Priest 90+1)


Yes folks, the headline says it all - history has been made here in the Fort Erie Stadium today as Northern Bettia romped to an emphatic win. Despite not quite managing the seven goals that Bettia scored in their final so many years ago, the Ants put in a thoroughly dominant display to claim the trophy for themselves. So why is this result so historic? It's historic because Bettia and Northern Bettia are the first master and puppet pairing to win this cup.

With this potential target in mind, the Fire Ants walked onto the Fort Erie Stadium pitch, the scene of so many victories already in this tournament, and they did so fully charged up for this game. They steamed out of the blocks, going ahead after just four minutes through a cracking strike from in-form Ola Hiyashibara, smashing in a half-volley from Sakasayou's probing cross. With this perfect launchpad to work from, Northern Bettia soon established a firm control and soon forced a number of fine saves from the Schorteskatascansolani goalkeeper.

despite all his heroics, it was inevitable that the Fire Ants would grab a second before the half-time break, and they did so thanks to some trickery from Paul Iyopa was crudely cut short by a fierce challenge some five yards outside the area. With the ball positioned just the to left of the goal, the setup was perfect for Dan Kyobu's favoured right foot and he made no mistake, lashing the ball around the defensive wall and past an unsighted keeper to double the Ants advantage.

That two goal advantage lasted less than three minutes - unfortunately for Schorteskatascansolani, that two-goal advantage became three as Gwrlais Devanallt capped off a typically powerful run with an equally powerful shot. Schorteskatascansolani rallied briefly after that, with Priest forcing Ozeki into his first save of the game, albeit a comfortable dive to his right.

The half-time break offered no respite for Schorteskatascansolani as Devanallt grabbed his second just thirty seconds into the second half. From their own kick-off, Kyobu passed the ball out to Sakasayou on the wing, who easily saw off three challenges as he charged down the wing before crossing the ball into the area for the captain to head into the top corner.

After that explosive start, the game quickly slowed down as Schorteskatascansolani embarked on a belated damage limitation exercise, allowing Northern Bettia to attack almost at will whilst putting plenty of men behind the ball. For half an hour, the Fire Ants toiled away to no avail until Ola Hiyashibara finally found a way through, although in a rather scrappy manner as he poked the ball home in the middle of a goalmouth scramble resulting from Northern Betia's eighteenth corner of the game.

With that resistance finally broken, the Fire Ants were once again able to make inroads into the Schorts' defence, and the opportunity to further extend their lead came after 83 minutes after a questionable handball in the 18-yard box was given in Northern Bettia's way, thanks in part to some vehement appeals from the amber-and-blacks. It was left to the national captain and president Gwrlais Devanallt to put the final gloss on an already excellent game, and he struck the ball hard into the bottom corner to claim his hat-trick.

But the game wasn't quite over yet, as there was still time for Priest to grab a late consolation for Schorteskatascansolani, but despite that minor setback the day well and truly belonged to Northern Bettia. To a crescendo of noise from the thousands of fans in attendance in the ground itself and on the surrounding streets, Devanallt lifted the trophy.

So there we have it - for the second time in history, the word 'Bettia' is proudly emblazoned on the Baptism of Fire trophy.... only this time it has 'Northern' tacked on in front of it.

Fixtures / Results

Baptism of Fire Final

FIN: Schorteskatascansolani..W 6-1

Regional Knock-Out Stages

RFN: Quintessence of Dust....W 2-1
RSF: Turruth Gordur..........W 2-0
RQF: Cesibia.................W 5-0

Group A

MD1: Zwangzug................W 2-0
MD2: Quintessence of Dust....L 3-4
MD3: Turruth Gordur..........W 2-1
MD4: Zwangzug................W 2-0
MD5: Quintessence of Dust ...W 2-1
MD6: Turruth Gordur..........W 3-1