NationStates Jolt Archive

Once again it is time for the 3rd TOUR de QAZOX. if you are interested take look:

Please sign up below with the following provisions:

1- Maximum of three riders per country.

2- Each rider will be graded in the following catergories:
Climbing (the higher the number, the better climber you are)
Sprint (the higher the number, the better in time-trials and finishes you are)
Speed (the higher the number, the better in the flat stages and overall time)
Endurance (the higher the number, the less likely to be injured or wear out on the longer stages)

3-Each rider will have 30 points to be placed in each of the 4 catergories, with a maximum of 10 allowed in each.

4- IF you are returning any riders from the 1st or 2nd TOUR de QAZOX, you will be allowed to add ONE EXTRA point to any ONE CATERGORY (for a maximum of 31 allocated points. Please note that I do have the Ratings from the 1st two, so no cheating (i.e no 11 points for speed.) You will be allowed to re-allocate the points for returning riders as well if you want to.

examples:
RIDER A
Climbing- 10
Sprint- 4
Speed- 6
Endurance- 10
This type of racer will be one of the better riders in the mountains
and longer stages, but worse during the flat stages and time-trials.

RIDER B
Climbing-5
Sprint- 10
Speed- 10
Endurance- 5
This type of racer will be one of the weaker riders in the mountains
and the long stages, but great during the shorter stages and time-trials.

RIDER C
Climbing-8
Sprint- 7
Speed- 8
Endurance- 7

This racer will do well in most stages, but probably won't win any stages.

Unlike the RL events this will be sort-of based on (ie Tour de France/ Giro de Italia..etc) there will be no drug-testing of athletes, so if you want you best rider to be injected with HGH or EPO before every race go right ahead!!

There will be a Blue Jersey for the overall leader, a Green Jersey for the best sprinter and a Red Jersey for the best climber.


Signups will be taken until January 31st, 10 days from now, as I'm going to be a bit busy this week with college reports, so to all who do sign-up, ONE, have fun and TWO Please RP.

The defending champs will be back

Green Wombat sends its team back again to the TOUR de QAZOX, looking to repeat as champions. Lead by Defending Champion Henry Critten, who is now 33, he is joined by Johnnie Steele, who finished in 4th place, just over a minute behind his countryman. Ryan Hill, who finished 21st place, declined his invite, so a new rider will be joining the team, Charles Eckert.

Henry Critten, 33 yrs of age, will retire after this TOUR, Has improved his climbing, by training for the last 5 months in the hills of Green wombat, but has lost some of his speed.

Speed-8
Climb- 9
Sprint- 4
Endurance- 10

Johnnie Steele, Aged 26, lost a bit of his mucle mass due to an illness a few months back, but still should be a threat for the overall title
Speed- 9
Climb- 8
Sprint- 5
Endurance- 9

Charles Eckert, only 21 years old, relatively new to Tour racing, was a 3-time BMX Downhill champ and Gold medalist at GW Games in the cross-country.
Speed- 7
Climb- 9
Sprint- 8
Endurance- 6

San Monticaz looking for a break-through in International Sport will join!

Blas Celino, Aged 23, has quite a name for be able to handle longer stages & more mountainous regions, but no all that good in smaller, flatter regions.

Climbing - 10
Sprint - 5
Speed - 5
Endurance - 10

Dameon Carlos, aged 32, new to the International Racing, was once a National Medailist at the San Monticaz 2002 National Olympics.

Climbing - 7
Sprint - 9
Speed - 8
Endurance - 6

Ramound Fidel, aged 19, first broke through Racing, with a lone win at Ciro Mountain, two years ago by claiming the National Juniors Cup.

Climbing- 7
Sprint- 6
Speed- 7
Endurance- 10

Sign up the Quakmybush Squad please

Team Qazox returns, looking to regain what was once only theirs. 3-time Tour winner Greg Johansen has retired, as has Veronica Forrester, who suffered a massive head injury in a car crash 3 months ago. So the weight of the team falls on Alan O'Neill, who finished a decent 13th place last year. Joining the team are two young strong riders, Jeff Holl and Frank Refth.




Alan O'Neill, 28 yrs old, Joehio. Finished 13th last year, has worked on his speed some more, losing 10 lbs, but will it affect him in the mountains, where he has done well in the past?
Climbing- 8
Sprint- 7
Speed- 8
Endurance- 8

Jeff Holl, 23 yrs old, Cuidad de Iguana. Strong sprinter, but has problems in the mountains, Qazox' best shot at the Green Jersey.
Climbing- 5
Sprint- 10
Speed- 8
Endurance- 7

Frank Refth, 24 yrs old, Winner of the Qazoxian Ironman last year, winning in record time. Is decent overall, but not strong in any catergory, but does have great endurance.
Climbing- 7
Sprint- 6
Speed- 7
Endurance- 10

Bump...

Jeruselem is sending two new riders

Kylie Kool
Climbing- 9
Sprint- 5
Speed- 7
Endurance- 9

Trained by Ricky Pointy Stick, the daughter of Rachel Kool is taking over as new pointy stick of the cycling world. She's just a good looking as her football loving Mum and smart as her father Harry Kool. Still young and learning but she's got the best training her.

Kez Mofa
Climbing- 7
Sprint- 8
Speed- 7
Endurance- 8

An all-rounder who prides herself on being drug free. Vegetarian and she is very fit. Main weakness is she can't sprint at high levels like real sprinters due to her diet but she does not give up. "Death or dishonuour" is her motto. Her father died climbing a mountain but she's not one to shirk a challenge.

Random Toast would like to enter the 3rd TOUR de QAZOX.
This will be our teams 1st tour.


Random Toast Riders:
Chris van Stone - Age 25, Chris can last the pace, but is unfamiliar with this tour.
Climbing- 7
Sprint- 7
Speed- 6
Endurance- 10


Toaster Smith - Age 30, Ranked number one cyclist in Random Toast. Winner of countless domestic tours
Climbing-10
Sprint- 4
Speed- 6
Endurance- 10


Elly Bean - Age 22, Relative youngster, just out for the experience and to pick up points in the sprints and short stages.
Climbing-7
Sprint- 10
Speed- 10
Endurance- 3

Due to the terse political situation in Qazox (civil war), the organizers of the TOUR de QAZOX are using a brand new course this time around. For the 1st time, the entire race will not take place in Qazox.

HERE IS THE SCHEDULE FOR THE 1916 TOUR de QAZOX:

Day 1 Prologue- 31 miles: Marleyville, Sativaville to Marleyville (1 lap around the city)

Day 2 Stage 1- 78 Miles: Marleyville to Juana City, Sativaville. Tough short stage that travels thru the Cannbis Desert.

Day 3 Stage 2- 123 miles: Juana City to Hippyston, Sativaville. Stage travels thru prts of the Cheech rainforest, and has a small 700 ft hill in the first third of the stage.

Day 4 Stage 3- 167 miles: Hippyston to New Cheech City, Sativaville. One of the longer stages of this year's tour, the teams climb from 500 ft to 3000 during the stage, as they prepare for the early mountains.

Day 5 Stage 4- 85 miles: New Cheech City to Spicoli, Sativaville. 1st mountain stage as riders will climb up 4200 ft to the top of Mt. Spicoli.

Day 6 Stage 5- 89 miles: Spicoli to Juana City: 2nd stage of mountains travels down the back side of Mt. Spicoli back to the sea and Juana City.

Day 7 Stage 6- 78 Miles: Juana City to Marleyville: Same as stage 1 but in reverse.

Day 8: Travel Day
Day 9: Rest Day

Day 10 Stage 7- 111 miles: Doet, Green Wombat to Hellispont, Green Wombat. Easy stage as riders travel up the Doet straights.

Day 11 Stage 8- 51 miles (Individual Time Trial): Hellispont to Wachovia, Green wombat. Fast stage and longest time trial stage in Tour history.

Day 12 Stage 9- 137 miles: Wachovia to Asylum, Green wombat. Toughest stage, as riders travel thru the Great Insane desert, hydration is a key.

Day 13 Stage 10- 171 miles: Asylum to Kraken, Green wombat. Longest stage of the tour, skirts Lake Porter for the last 20 miles.

Day 14 Stage 11- 101 miles: Kraken to Garrett, Green Wombat. Tough climbs as riders begin 2nd mountain part at 450 ft above sea level and end at 3900 ft.

Day 15- Travel Day (Garrett to Zito, Green wombat)

Day 16 Stage 12- 45 miles (Team time Trial): Zito to Lake Brell City. Downhill for the most part, leading to great speeds.

Day 17 Stage 13- 96 miles: Lake Brell City to Sumthinelse, Green wombat. Back into the mountains as riders will climb 3 hills totaling 6700 ft in elevation.

Day 18 Stage 14- 83 miles: Sumthinelse to Nueva Kiwi, Green wombat. Mountains end as riders travel towards the sea once again. (Teams will travel after stage to The Hexagon, Green wombat)

Day 19 Stage 15- 100 miles: The Hexagon to Cuidad de Rojo Toro, Green Wombat. A deceptively tough stage with 5 climbs, but none higher that 500 ft.

Day 20 Stage 16- 42 miles (individual time trial): Cuidad de Rojo Toro to Vromskien, Green wombat. Next to last stage is a quick short juant thru Simpson Air Force Base.

Day 21 Stage 17- 66 miles Vormskien to The Hexagon. Final stage lead riders thru the suburbs of The Hexagon, finishing at Center Square downtown.

The Algal states national cycling team would like to enter one rider in the 3rd
Tour de Qazox.


Albert Theriault, age 24, not much of a climber since their are few hills in the country for him to train on. He's a speedster who can endure almost any path he attempts.
Climbing- 4
Sprint- 7
Speed- 9
Endurance- 10

Cafundéu's official team(only one from last year):

Bernardo Petkovic, 18 years old. Competed in many fast competitions for riders, so he will have difficuties in the mountain stages, but can be good in the fast stages.

Climbing - 3
Sprint - 10
Speed -10
Endurance - 7

Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso, 23 years old, son of the famous actor of Cafundéu Estive Formoso, Godofredo is a good rider, but wants to become an actor soon, as his father.

Climbing - 10
Sprint - 4
Speed - 8
Endurance - 8

Zé do Caixão Jr., 31 years old, son of the Counselor of Paranormal Activities Zé do Caixão. Thinks that he has paranormal powers and wear a strange hat. Trained hard to compete. - competed last year.

Climbing - 9
Sprint - 6
Speed - 6
Endurance -10

Sergei Buznikin, 33

Climbing-8
Sprint- 7
Speed- 8
Endurance- 7

An experienced road racer in Coocoostan, Buznikin is ready to compete internationally, as time is running out on his career.

John Frost, 17

Climbing-6
Sprint- 9
Speed- 6
Endurance- 9

Frost is likely to usurp Buznikin's throne on his retirement, but until then, he's about getting as much experience as possible before the Olympic trials.

Despite being a keen cycling nation, Schiavonia has never been represented on the world's top cycling tour. Until now.

Name: Carlos Labella
Age: 28
Speed: 9
Climb: 4
Sprint: 8
Endurance: 9

Name: Bill Wenderley
Age: 34
Speed: 6
Climb: 8
Sprint: 4
Endurance: 7

Name: Jimmy Gardner
Age: 22
Speed: 10
Climb: 2
Sprint: 10
Endurance: 8

The main problem for most of our Schiavone cyclists is climbing, due to there only being one small highland area anywhere on the Forty-Six Islands. Hence the fact that Wenderley was picked to give the nation some strength as climbers, despite his total skill level not being up to much (only 25).

Offical Riders list, so far: (only 24 hours left to sign-up!!!)

Qazox:
Alan O'Neill
Jeff Holl
Frank Refth

Green wombat:
Henry Critten
Johnnie Steele
Charles Eckert

San Monticaz:
Blas Celino
Dameon Carlos
Ramound Fidel

Quakmybush:
Lance Legstrong
Sepp Neitemeier
Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov


Jeruselem:
Kylie Kool
Kez Mofa

Random Toast:
Chris van Stone
Toaster Smith
Elly Bean

Algal states:
Albert Theriault

Cafundéu:
Bernardo Petkovic
Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso
Zé do Caixão Jr.

Coocoostan:
Sergei Buznikin
John Frost

Schiavonia:
Carlos Labella
Bill Wenderley
Jimmy Gardner

Sativaville:
Darrin McBride
Kevin Storm

Northern Caesarea
Mikel Perurena
Juan Carlos Aguilar
Mikel Lejarreta




So far: 31 Riders from 12 countries.

Sativaville, as co-hosts of the 1916 TOUR de QAZOX, decided to send two riders to the TOUR:

Darrin McBride, Age 24.
END: 8
SPD: 9
SPR: 8
CLM: 5

Kevin Storm, Age 25
END: 7
SPD: 7
SPR: 6
CLM: 10

These are the choosen trio to represent Northern Caesarea in the Tour de Qazox.

Mikel Perurena

Climbing- 5
Sprint- 10
Speed- 6
Endurance- 10

Perurena is a very clever sprinter. He knows where to be in the end of the stages, even if his top-speed is not very high. He can win scores of stages if the rest of the team works as Cipollini's "Trenos".

Juan Carlos Aguilar:

Climbing - 8
Sprint -6
Speed - 10
Endurance - 7

A very regular and young cyclist. He is the alternative for general overall

Mikel Lejarreta:

Climbing -8
Sprint - 5
Speed -10
Endurance -8

One of the best of the world in flat stages. He behaves very well when the road goes up.

LOVISA TEAM (LOV)

PEDRO ALACOA
Climbing- 8
Sprint- 6
Speed- 6
Endurance- 10


BASTIAN SCHLAGER
Climbing-5
Sprint- 9
Speed- 10
Endurance- 6


SEBASTIEN BRUEL
Climbing-8
Sprint- 7
Speed- 8
Endurance- 7

Cut off for entries is NOW!!!! The Prologue results will be posted on Friday, leaving ya'll time to begin your RP's...

Final Rider List:

Qazox:
Alan O'Neill
Jeff Holl
Frank Refth
Green wombat:
Henry Critten
Johnnie Steele
Charles Eckert
San Monticaz:
Blas Celino
Dameon Carlos
Ramound Fidel
Quakmybush:
Lance Legstrong
Sepp Neitemeier
Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov
Jeruselem:
Kylie Kool
Kez Mofa
Random Toast:
Chris van Stone
Toaster Smith
Elly Bean
Algal states:
Albert Theriault
Cafundéu:
Bernardo Petkovic
Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso
Zé do Caixão Jr.
Coocoostan:
Sergei Buznikin
John Frost
Schiavonia
Carlos Labella
Bill Wenderley
Jimmy Gardner
Sativaville
Darrin McBride
Kevin Storm
Northern Caesarea
Mikel Perurena
Juan Carlos Aguilar
Mikel Lejarreta
Lovisa
Pedro Alacoa
Bastian Schlager
Sebastien Bruel

A total of 34 riders from 13 countries.

As usual, the Prologue and the Team Time Trial will have the entrants randomly drawn for the start. In the individual Time Trial, Inverse rank order will be used for teh start, meaning the Leader goes last.

Good luck to all involved and see you in Marleyville on Friday!

<A female reporter with two young female cyclists>

Dazza: Hi, I'm Dazza Dallas reporter for JGN at the Tour de Qazox, third edition. I'm with team Jeruselem! This is Kez and Kylie. Rachel Kool has retired from public TV and I've retired from football so I have time for doing sport like cycling. And what does Dazza know about cycling? Not much except there's lots of cute guys in tight suits around here.
Kez: Hello Jeruselem
Kylie: Morning everyone

Dazza: Starting with you Kez, you come with a action family. Your Dad was a mountain climber and died after falling off a mountain. Your Mum is professional sprinter and your brothers play football. Well, that's one action family - cycling why cycling?
Kez: Well, I like speed. I like going fast - only cycling can give me the speed fix I need.
Dazza: You're a vegetarian - you don't look like a normal vegetarian at all with all those muscles.
Kez: Most vegetarians are skinny little runts but I'm a power vegetarian - power veges for me. Not a pure vegetarian though, I've tried it and doesn't work for me.

Dazza: So what's Ricky Pointy Stick like as a coach?
Kez: Apart from being a super-stud, he's a great coach. He understand women better than women, as you know Dazza.
Dazza: He sure does, he's the man. A popular man with the ladies indeed - he's got one lucky wife.
Kez: He could coach any women's sport I say

Dazza: Kylie, now to you. Daughter of Rachel and Harry Kool - famous football couple, why cycling?
Kylie: I tried football it's not for me. I know I can't do what you do on the football field so I tried cycling.
Dazza: So you're the endurance athelete here - the Ricky Pointy Stick of the team
Kylie: He's cute and knows so much. You don't win one of these tours by luck, he knows what to do. He's a real legend of cycling like your role in football Dazza.

Dazza: OK girls, both young and first tour. Up against the best from Green Wombat, Qazox and other nations - can you make a big splash?
Kylie: We don't expect a win but top 4 is good enough for us.
Kez: But if there's a chance to win, we'll go for it.

Dazza: (OOOOOOOOOH)
Ricky: Hi Dazza, looking good was always.
Dazza: Can't keep you hands off my butt, Ricky eh?
Ricky: I only do it because you like it. Hello everyone!

Dazza: Yes, it's Ricky Pointy Stick the coach. The man himself - and he's definitely in his element here with the girls. Worked with me and Rachel Kool, a hot wife and now these girls. This man lives a charmed life.
Ricky: Hehe, just lucky.
Dazza: Now Ricky - are these girls ready for the big time?
Ricky: I don't expect miracles but I would they have the talent to be top riders. It's up to them to apply when it's need. The only way is to throw them into the deep end.

Dazza: Girls, ready for the big challenge?
Kez: I'm ready - it's death or dishonour.
Kylie: I'll just do my best - all you can do.
Ricky: After a few stages, they'll be alright.

Dazza: Well, everyone don't miss a minute of Tour de Qazox 3. Ricky's new team of two girls here are taking on the world. I'm Dazza Dallas for JGN. And get our bikes when you have the time, and do your own tour! Maybe without the mountains and drama, but give cycling a go.
Ricky: Just avoid the crazy drivers on the roads

<Camera turns off>

Dazza: Oi Ricky, doing anything now?
Ricky: Not really, need lunch.
Kez: I have to do more training
Kylie: Still feeling the Jet lag

Dazza: OK, I'm going drag Ricky out for lunch while you girls get on with whatever you have to do.
Kez: Gee Ricky, girls always trying drag you out for recreation. What a life
Dazza: Don't worry, I'm not going to anything stupid
Ricky: You're talking about Dazza here. Some people think we're married or something.
Dazza: We can pretend Ricky!

Prologue Preview:

The race starts in Downtown Marleyville, then heads east until it reaches the outskirts, riders will turn left and travel up Route 34 until it intersects with Rte. 89. riders then will follow Rte. 89 until they reach the Estadia Sativa in West Marleyville. The riders will turn right onto Rte. 46 and follow the road until they intersect once again with Route 34. The riders will follow Route 34 until they reach down town Marleyville for the finish.

Total Distance: 31 miles.
Elevation at Start: 56 ft.
Elevation at Finish: 56 ft.
Highest Point: 86 ft at Junction Rte. 89/Rte. 46.
Lowest Point: Sea level
Weather Conditions: 78F, 15% chance of Rain, Mostly Cloudy.
Start Time: 2:00pm Local time.

(ooc: decided to add a bit more info about each stage this time around, hopefully for better RPing. Good luck again and results will be posted in about 12 hours. Wish that i could do a Course map, but i don't have the time to do it.. sorry :()

Liz Kitten, Toast TV Reporter: So Chris, hows the preparation for the tour been going?

Chris van Stone: Yeah, its been good, I've managed to stay injury free and feel really good after a tough training schedule. Liz: What do you think of your chances of winning on this tour?

Chris: To be honest, I'm not even thinking about that, I just want to put in the best performance I can and see where it puts me.

Liz: Great, as everyone in Random Toast knows, you usually ride naked, and have done the majority of your training naked. Will you be doing the tour naked?

Chris: Unfortunately, I have the wear the team colours, as competition rules state...but don't be surprised if I ahem, accidently 'pop out' every now and again, just for my fans.

Liz: Cool, thats something your fans can look forward to. Of course, your day job is as a burger van operative. How does that fir in with your cycling?

Chris: Well, I'm hoping for an early draw in the time trials and some early finishes, so I can sell a few burgers to any hungry finishing cyclists behind me.

Liz: Well, thanks Chris and good luck on the tour.

Chris: Do you want ketchup on that?Liz: er, no. And a quick word with the other members of the Random Toast team, Toaster Smith and Elly Bean. Hi guys, hows it going?

Toaster: alright

Elly: Cool

Liz: Thanks, bye. And now back to the studio for a report on the Butter Swamp Open Worm Charming Championship.

TOUR de QAZOX News post:

The Random Draw for the Starting positions of the Prologue have occured and as is custom, the defending champion, who is Henry Critten of Green wombat, will leave last. Here's the starting positions of the other riders:

1- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz)
2- Elly Bean (Random Toast)
3- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa)
4- Blas Celino (San Monticaz)
5- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu)
6- Carlos Lebella (Schiavonia)
7- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea)
8- Johnnie Steele (Green wombat)
9- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem)
10- Kevin Storm (Sativaville)
11- Jeff Holl (QAZOX)
12- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush)
13- Sergei Buznikin (Coocoostan)
14- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea)
15- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa)
16- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz)
17- Chris van Stone (Random Toast)
18- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea)
19- Albert Theriault (Algal States)
20- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX)
21- Toaster Smith (Random Toast)
22- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia)
23- Sepp Neitemier (Quakmybush)
24- Frank Refth (QAZOX)
25- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu)
26- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa)
27- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia)
28- John Frost (Coocoostan)
29- Darrin McBride (Sativaville)
30- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu)
31- Charles Eckart (Green wombat)
32- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem)
33- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush)
34- Henry Critten (Green wombat)

1916 TOUR de QAZOX PROLOGUE RESULTS
(these also happen to be the Overall standings at the moment as well)

Day 1 Prologue 31 miles: Marleyville, Sativaville to Marleyville (1 lap around the city)
(Stage winner in Bold...Overall Leader in blue)

(Returning Riders are in Italicsjust for this stage only)
(Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 48min:53 sec
2- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +0:01 sec
3- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +0:02 sec
4- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +0:03 sec
5- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +0:06 sec
6- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +0:07 sec
7- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +0:13 sec
8- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +0:15 sec
9- John Frost (Coocoostan) +0:17 sec
10- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +0:19 sec
11- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +0:20 sec
12- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +0:22 sec
13- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +0:23 sec
14- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +0:29 sec
15- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +0:30 sec
16- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:31 sec
17- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +0:32 sec
18- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +0:33 sec
19- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +0:34 sec
20- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +0:36 sec
21- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +0:39 sec
22- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +0:42 sec
23- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +0:43 sec
24- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +0:44 sec
25- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +0:45 sec
26- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +0:46 sec
27- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +0:49 sec
28- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +0:50 sec
29- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:52 sec
30- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +0:54 sec
31- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +0:56 sec
32- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) +0:59 sec
33- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +1 min:01 sec
34- Bill Wemderley (Schiavonia) +1 min:02 sec


Sprinter Standings:
1- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 10 pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 7 pts (wears Green Jersey due to Petkovic wearing the Blue Jersey
3- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) 4 pts
4- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) 3 pts
5- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) 2 pts
6- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) 1pt

Up next: Day 2 Stage 1- 78 Miles: Marleyville to Juana City, Sativaville. Stage 1 Preview:

The race starts in Downtown Marleyville, then heads west on Route 34 towards Juana City. Teams will travel through the Cannbis Desert form mile 13 until mile 59. After leaving the desert, Riders will turn north on Rte. 12 and finish in downtown Jauna City.
Total Distance: 78 miles.
Elevation at Start: 56 ft.
Elevation at Finish: 399 ft.
Highest Point: 399 ft at Finish Line
Lowest Point: 52 ft, in Hora
Weather Conditions: 70F, 5% chance of Rain, Mostly Cloudy at start; 1/2 way pomit 92F, Sunny; 79F 30% chance of Rain, Partly Cloudy at finish
Start Time: 9:00 am Local time.

(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1916_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

"Hi, This is Liz Kitten reporting for Toast TV from the 3rd TOUR de QAZOX. An exciting first day has ended in a great success forth e toast team. Elly Bean managed a magnificent second place on the opening day of the tour. He will be the proud wearer of the green jersey for tomorrows stage, and has gained 7 points in the sprinters championship. The second toast rider, Chris Van Stone finished in a credible 20th place, giving him enough time at the end to sell a few of his burgers to other riders. Toaster Smith found the going a little tougher, finishing in 33rd place, but is hoping day two will be more suitable to his skills and is still optimistic for the rest of the tour.

This is Liz Kitten in Qazox, handing back to the studio for the latest news on the Butter Swamps under 7's colouring competition."

Dazza: Hi, this is Dazza Dallas at the Tour de Qazox 3. Stage 1 was completed today and well, the girls didn't really feature at all. Kez Mofa finished a credible 13th, 23 seconds off the pace while Kylie Kool was 29th, 52 seconds off the pace. This was sprinters stage so Kylie like Ricky didn't do well. I'm with Kez Mofa
Kez: Hi everyone.

Dazza: You could not keep up the big boys today?
Kez: No, I don't have that explosive speed that they seem to have. I'm not a pure sprinter so in that respect, I'm never going out sprint likes of Mikel Perurena.

Dazza: Your first ever stage, a new experience?
Kez: Oh yes, the crowds. It's like you running out to a full football stadium. People everywhere waving flags and cheering. Well behaved people too.

Dazza: You struggled a bit out there, any reason?
Kez: My bike wasn't quite tuned right and well, I'm not quite as fit as I though I was. Kylie didn't look happy sprinting, but then she's not here to sprint at all. She's the climber type - they win tours not sprinters.

Dazza: I have to ask you this, them cycling suits - are they good for heat dissipation?
Kez: No, they are really tight and when the sun shines on you, you can feel it. They don't do much except cover you so you are aren't naked.

Dazza: Kylie looked a little wobbly out there
Kez: She's still overcoming that flight sickness thing. I think the first stage should fix that.

Dazza: Do you think male riders have the advantage over female ones?
Kez: When it comes to sprinting, then yes. They have more power from their legs and even I can't really keep up. For climbing, it's even. The advantage is small.

Dazza: There's a debate in Jeruselem, where some say women shouldn't be here. They are here purely for marketing reasons to pull more female riders - what do you say?
Kez: There's an element in truth but we're here because we're riders. We're not models or actors, we are riders. Sex does kinda sell - err, well it works - as you demonstrate. People watch THE FOOTBALL LIFE because of you and Ricky, and we are young attractive women. If we streaked like you at a final, then more people might watch but we won't.

Dazza: Good to talk to you, time for you get some rest.
Kez: Thanks Dazza, you know - we watched your career. You take opportunities when they come and well, we should too.

Dazza: Well, see you all next time at the Tour de Qazox. Dazza's off to watch a football game.

It was difficult to have access to the area where he was standing, posing for photos and talking with media sources from around the world. But our reporter, Catarina Escobar, was able to dribble the security and talk to the winner of the first stage of the Tour of Qazox, the Cafundelense rider Bernardo Petkovic. He said:

"I'm surprised, I wasn't expecting to win in my first stage ever. This will give me confidence to try harder in the next ones to finish in a good postion. I would like to thank my family, my wife, my coach and my partners, this conquest is also yours! I won!"

The Jinkton City Jester
Riders Get off on Good Start

The Quakmybush National Cycling Team began riding in the 3rd annual Tour de QAZOX. The riders are hoping to finish within the top 5. The first stage was a 31 mile prologue from Marleyville, Sativaville to Marleyville, in one lap. The top rider from Quakmybush after this is, Sepp Neitemeier who is seven seconds behind. The next rider from Quakmybush is Lance Legstrong, in 18th place, 33 seconds behind. Finally, Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov is in 19th, 34 seconds behind. Next up for the riders is a 78 mile journey from Marleyville, Sativaville to Juana City, Sativaville.

(ooc srry for any spelling errors on your riders.. and Rp is done now, results are below!! YAY!)

Historical Note: Bernardo Petkovic becomes 1st person to win prologue and 1st stage since 1894 when Ricardo Lamanna won the 1st three stages, but crashed while leading the 4th stage.


1916 TOUR de QAZOX STAGE 1 RESULTS


Day 2 Stage 1- 78 Miles: Marleyville to Juana City, Sativaville.
(Stage winner in Bold...Overall Leader in blue)
(Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 2 hrs:05 min:36 sec
2- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +0:04 sec
3- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +0:05 sec
4- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +0:06 sec
5- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +0:07 sec
6- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +0:08 sec
7- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +0:09 sec
8- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +0:13 sec
9- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +0:14 sec
10- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +0:15 sec
11- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +0:17 sec
12- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +0:22 sec
13- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +0:23 sec
14- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +0:26 sec
15- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +0:27 sec
16- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:28 sec
17- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) +0:31 sec
18- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +0:32 sec
19- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +0:35 sec
20- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +0:37 sec
21- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +0:38 sec
22- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +0:39 sec
23- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +0:40 sec
24- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +0:41 sec
25- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +0:42 sec
26- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:43 sec
27- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +0:49 sec
28- John Frost (Coocoostan) +0:50 sec
29- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +0:52 sec
30- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +0:53 sec
31- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +0:54 sec
32- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +0:57 sec
33- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:58 sec
34- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +1 min:03 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS:
(Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 2hr:53min:59sec
2- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +0:05 sec
3- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +0:09 sec
4- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +0:18 sec
5- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +0:28 sec
6- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +0:33 sec
7- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +0:33 sec
8- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +0:40 sec
9- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +0:42 sec
10- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +0:44 sec
11- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +0:47 sec
12- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +0:48 sec
13- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +0:51 sec
14- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +0:57 sec
15- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +0:58 sec
16- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +0:58 sec
17- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:59 sec
18- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +1min:00 sec
19- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +1min:00 sec
20- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +1min:07 sec
21- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +1min:13 sec
22- John Frost (Coocoostan) +1m:17 sec
23- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +1min:24 sec
24- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +1min:24 sec
25- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +1min:24 sec
26- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +1min:28 sec
27- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +1min:30 sec
28- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) +1min:30 sec
29- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +1min:35 sec
30- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +1min:38 sec
31- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +1min:40 sec
32- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +1min:57 sec
33- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +1 min:59 sec
34- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +1 min:59 sec


Sprinter Standings:
1- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 10 pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 7 pts (wears Green Jersey due to Petkovic
wearing the Blue Jersey)
3- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) 4 pts
4- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) 3 pts
5- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) 2 pts
6- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) 1pt

Day 3 Stage 2- 123 miles: Juana City to Hippyston, Sativaville. Stage 2 Preview:

The Stage begins on the outskirts of Juana City and riders head south into the Cheech Rainforest. A small 700 foot climb face the riders as they enter the forest, but it is a gradual climb. After racing through 85 miles of the rainforest, riders will head east on Rte. 9 towards the finish in Hippyston.
Total Distance: 123 miles.
Elevation at Start: 436 ft.
Elevation at Finish: 800 ft.
Highest Point: 1352 ft in the Cheech Rainforest
Lowest Point: 436 ft at the start line.
Weather Conditions: 82F, 35% chance of Rain, Mostly Cloudy at start; 1/2 way point 89F, 90% chance of rain, cloudy; 68F 50% chance of Rain, Mostly Cloudy at finish.
Start Time: 11:45 am Local time.


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1916_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

OVERALL STANDINGS:


1- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 2hr:53min:59sec
2- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +0:05 sec
3- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +0:09 sec
4- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +0:18 sec
5- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +0:28 sec
6- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +0:33 sec
7- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +0:33 sec
8- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +0:40 sec
9- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +0:42 sec
10- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +0:44 sec
11- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +0:47 sec
12- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +0:48 sec
13- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +0:51 sec
14- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +0:57 sec
15- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +0:58 sec
16- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +0:58 sec
17- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:59 sec
18- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +1min:00 sec
19- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +1min:00 sec
20- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +1min:07 sec
21- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +1min:13 sec
22- John Frost (Coocoostan) +1m:17 sec
23- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +1min:24 sec
24- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +1min:24 sec
25- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +1min:24 sec
26- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +1min:28 sec
27- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +1min:30 sec
28- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) +1min:30 sec
29- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +1min:35 sec
30- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +1min:38 sec
31- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +1min:40 sec
32- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +1min:57 sec
33- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +1 min:59 sec
34- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +1 min:59 sec


Sprinter Standings:
1- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 10 pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 7 pts (wears Green Jersey due to Petkovic
wearing the Blue Jersey)
3- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) 4 pts
4- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) 3 pts
5- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) 2 pts
6- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) 1pt



Liz Kitten: Hi, Liz Kitten again, reporting for Toast TV from the Tour de Qazox. Another great stage for Elly Bean today, who again was second only to the leader Bernardo Petkovic. Chris Van stone and Toaster Smith were down the field again today, but I spoke to them briefly after todays stage and they are both still in an upbeat mood and looking forward to tomorrows stage. Tomorrows stage is from Juana City to Hippyston and Chris told me he will be dressed up as a hippy especially for this stage. Good luck to all the team for tomorrow, this was Liz Kitten reporting for Toast TV and now back to the studio for the latest on the Most Buff Granny Championships."

Once again our brave reporter Catarina Escobar tries to approach the once again stage winner Bernardo Petkovic. Extremely excited by this wonderful result, he cries while talking about his career, remembering when he had a serious injury in the knee and he could only return to the roads after three years. Catarina tries to interview him, but she suddenly discovers that the Cafundelense government obligates the media sources to pay a rax of V$100 for one interview. Unable to pay, as she works in a minor TV channel, she leaves.

When she is leaving, she saw another reporter, who works for Globo Multimedia, the biggest media source of the nation. Her name is Marcela Lobos, and she easily interviews the rider, paying the vintems to the security guard. Petkovic, still talking about his career and saying that he can't believe that he won the first two stages, talks with Marcela: "It's incredible, oh my God, I won twice, it's like a dream becoming true."

The media expect for more good stages from Cafundéu's team.

Dazza:
This is Dazza Dallas at the Tour de Qazox 3, Team Jeruselem aren't doing all that well but it's only two stages so far. Once again sprinters dominated the 2nd stage with both Jeruselem team members not really featuring. Kez Mofa was 20th and Kylie Kool was 26th, so the big sprinters had their day but not Jeruselem. Overall Kez is 19th while Kylie Kool is at the back of the pack on 29th. That's bad? Not really - last tour winner is 28th, Henry Critten is yet to hit the mountains where Kylie will shine too.

Ricky: Hi viewers
Dazza: With me is the current coach, Ricky the man himself, or Ricky Pointy Stick or rippersticku. Ricky, our team does not sprint well?

Ricky: Well, Vance Lumberjack isn't here. Kez is not a Mikel Perurena by any means but she will do better on the latter stages. Kylie is down the list but we have not done any mountain stages yet.
Dazza: The focus for the team is endurance.

Ricky: Yes, that's where the winners come from. Look at Henry Critten, 28th but he won last tour and I was 2nd. Both of us are no sprinters.
Dazza: A lot of new faces this tour I see

Ricky: Good to see the new blood coming out and old stagers fighting on, it's exciting. The newcomers are doing well too but the old stagers aren't letting them have it all their own way either.
Dazza: Now, wish you were out there?

Ricky: Brains says yes but body says no. Just like your knees Dazza.
Dazza: No secret plans? No secret weapon?

Ricky: Everyone knows what our gameplan is. Well, everyone's gameplans isn't exactly different anyway. So it's the execution not intent.
Dazza: Now, a lot more girls are here. A good sign?

Ricky: Yes, we want this sport to embrace all peoples. Look football, we are going to make sure we aren't limiting our audience. OK, two of the two girls do come from Jeruselem but we hope to get more women into this sport.
Dazza: Most of the reporters seem to be female

Ricky: Good thing, mostly male riders - female reporter it works. And you are my favourite
Dazza: Thanks Ricky, and you do free interviews.

Ricky: I love a chat with pretty girl
Dazza: And they love Ricky too.

Ricky: Yes they do.
Dazza: This weather, it's un-Jeruselem

Ricky: Yes, the girls don't like it but that's cycling. Rain, hail or sunshine - well maybe not hail as it'd be dangerous. Still, you have to ride on.
Dazza: Well, that's it from the tour. Team Jeruselem is off the pace but it's early. The climbers are yet to make their move and that's when Henry Critten will make his move, maybe with our Kylie with him.

(ooc: I'm going to do the Historical note as well since it interjects a bit of knowledge (granted made-up) and its the 30th TOUR)

Historical Note: This marks the 1st tie atop the leaderboard since the end of the 17th stage at the 1895 TOUR, when Glenn Fiddich and Glen Livet were tied goin into the next-to-last stage. They lost the lead to eventual winner Sam Duprey in the 18th stage. Glenn Fiddich and Glen Livet were also tied for the lead after Stage 9 of that years's TOUR as well.

1916 TOUR de QAZOX STAGE 2 RESULTS


Day 3 Stage 2- 123 miles: Juana City to Hippyston, Sativaville.
(Stage winner in Bold.
Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue)
(Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Albert Theriault (Algal States)4 hrs:12 min:51 sec
2- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) +0:03 sec
3- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +0:05 sec
4- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +0:05 sec
5- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +0:08 sec
6- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +0:08 sec
7- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:08 sec
8- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +0:08 sec
9- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +0:08 sec
10- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +0:10 sec
11- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +0:15 sec
12- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +0:15 sec
13- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:19 sec
14- John Frost (Coocoostan) +0:25 sec
15- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +0:33 sec
16- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +0:35 sec
17- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +0:39 sec
18- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:43 sec
19- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +0:43 sec
20- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +0:44 sec
21- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +0:56 sec
22- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +0:56 sec
23- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +0:56 sec
24- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +1m:02 sec
25- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +1m:02 sec
26- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +1m:02 sec
27- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +1m:05 sec
28- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +1m:05 sec
29- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +1m:05 sec
30- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +1m:06 sec
31- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +1m:12 sec
32- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +1m:14 sec
33- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +1m:20 sec
34- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +1m:33 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS:
(Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Albert Theriault (Algal States) 7hr:07min:24sec
2- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +0:00 sec
3- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +0:04 sec
4- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +0:12 sec
5- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +0:15 sec
6- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +0:28 sec
7- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +0:38 sec
8- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +0:46 sec
9- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +0:46 sec
10- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +0:47 sec
11- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +0:47 sec
12- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +0:47 sec
13- John Frost (Coocoostan) +0:48 sec
14- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) +0:49 sec
15- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +0:52 sec
16- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +0:52 sec
17- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +0:54 sec
18- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +0:57 sec
19- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:58 sec
20- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +0:59 sec
21- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +1m:00 sec
22- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +1m:02 sec
23- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +1m:03 sec
24- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +1m:04 sec
25- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +1m:16 sec
26- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +1m:18 sec
27- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +1m:20 sec
28- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +1m:23 sec
29- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +1m:23 sec
30- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +1m:29 sec
31- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +1min:36 sec
32- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +1m:44 sec
33- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +1m:45 sec
34- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +2m:21 sec
Note: Theriault wears the Blue Jersey due to his winning of Stage 2.

Sprinter Standings:
1- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 10 pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 7 pts
3- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) 4 pts
4- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) 3 pts
5- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) 2 pts
6- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) 1pt

Day 4 Stage 3- 167 miles: Hippyston to New Cheech City, Sativaville. Stage 3 Preview:

This is the toughest and longest Stage in the Sativaville portion of the Tour. Riders will begin the 1st half of the mountain stages with a 2700 ft climb covering the first 40 miles of the stage. The other 127 miles feature a total of 3 more climbs and decents before finishing at the foot of the Marley Mountains in New Cheech City.
Total Distance: 167 miles.
Elevation at Start: 769 ft.
Elevation at Finish: 3256 ft.
Highest Point: 3488 ft in Keerville
Lowest Point: 769 ft at the Startline
Weather Conditions: 63F, 25% chance of Rain, Mostly Cloudy at start; 1/2 way point 72F, 0% chance of rain Mostly Sunny; 59F 10% chance of Rain, Mostly Sunny at finish.
Start Time: 10:15 am Local time.


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1916_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

Due to something called a SUPER BOWL there will be no results tonight. They will return in full on Monday.

<Two girls in raincoats>

Dazza: This is Dazza Dallas at the Tour de Qazox 3. I'm with Kylie Kool. Yes, it's raining and it's definitely duck weather over here. Dazza likes rain, well - when she's not at work. Only when she's streaking!
Kylie: <sneezes> Err, sorry.

Dazza: Not a bad day's work. 19 seconds off the leader Albert Theriault today. Even Kez Mofa did have it too bad either, 44 seconds away. But you girls are way down the rankings. Kez is 21st and you are 27th. Both 1 minute off the overall leader.
Kylie: Climbing stages are next so me and Kez should claw back some time away from the sprinters. Really one minute is nothing as these climbing stages suit people like me and that Henry Critten

Dazza: A bit slippery out there I assume
Kylie: Oh yes, bikes and rain don't mix. Trying be fast without getting your head smashed on the road, not easy. Good thing there's no oil on the roads here. A few riders had spills but most of us are pros so we can handle the rain, well most of the time.

Dazza: You like wet weather?
Kylie: No, no - we're not ducks. I feel like duck today though

Dazza: Do know it's going to be like this for the next few stages.
Kylie: Yes, and well we all have to grin and bear it. Hopefully we don't fall over. These things don't stop very well.

Dazza: I've heard you're sough after in Jeruselem - still single
Kylie: Daughter of Rachel Kool, I would a desirable kind of girl but any man would go after you instead. You maybe over 30 but you like you're 20 Dazza. You look young.

Dazza: Thanks, I look young because I'm small and cute.
Kylie: Well, I'm not in hurry. It's good to have choice when you need it.

Dazza: You after a football or cycling or some other kind of man?
Kylie: I don't know. I did like Rocky Pointy Stick but your niece got him so still looking.

Dazza: I got some phone numbers of footballers if you want
Kylie: That must be one full little black book you have

Dazza: Can't be slow with the Dallas girls in the loose.
Kylie: You can say that again.

Dazza; That's it from the Tour de Qazox 3, see you all next time.
Kylie: As Dazza used to say, Sweet Dreams.

<Dazza slips landing on her back>

Kylie: You alright Dazza?
Dazza: I'm fine, err, everyone on TV is looking up my skirt?
Kylie: Yes they are
Dazza: Next time, we'll stand inside.

Historical Note: In the 1st TOUR de Qazox, Kyle Cartman won the 3rd stage by 9 minutes, the largest margin of victory in any single stage of the TOUR, moving him up from 2 1/2 minutes behind to 6 1/2 minutes ahead. Kyle Cartman would go on to not only win the 1st TOUR, but the first three TOURS, earning him a place in Qazoxian history as the greatest Cyclist in Qazoxian history.

Also In 1914, when Ron Qwik, of Okielahoma, won the Prologue; he became the 1st non-Qazoxian rider to win a stage at the TOUR.

1916 TOUR de QAZOX STAGE 3 RESULTS


Stage 3- 167 miles: Hippyston to New Cheech City, Sativaville.
(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 6 hrs:13 min:04 sec
2- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +0:01 sec
3- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) +0:06 sec
4- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +0:06 sec
5- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +0:12 sec
6- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +0:17 sec
7- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +0:17 sec
8- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +0:17 sec
9- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +0:22 sec
10- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +0:23 sec
11- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:30 sec
12- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +0:36 sec
13- John Frost (Coocoostan) +0:40 sec
14- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +0:43 sec
15- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +0:48 sec
16- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +0:51 sec
17- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:51 sec
18- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +0:52 sec
19- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +0:58 sec
20- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +1m:00 sec
21- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +1m:10 sec
22- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +1m:10 sec
23- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +1m:14 sec
24- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +1m:14 sec
25- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +1m:14 sec
26- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +1m:14 sec
27- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +1m:16 sec
28- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +1m:16 sec
29- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +1m:17 sec
30- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +1m:20 sec
31- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +1m:25 sec
32- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +1m:31 sec
33- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +1m:35 sec
34- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +1m:43 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS:
(Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR, Sprint Leader is in Green, Climber Leader is is Red, and
Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue)


1- Albert Theriault (Algal States) 13hr:21min:01sec
2- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +0:14 sec
3- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +0:24 sec
4- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) +0:32 sec
5- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +0:37 sec
6- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +0:41 sec
7- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +0:41 sec
8- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +0:45 sec
9- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +0:46 sec
10- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +0:51 sec
11- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +0:53 sec
12- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +1m:00 sec
13- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +1m:01 sec
14- John Frost (Coocoostan) +1m:02 sec
15- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +1m:03 sec
16- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +1m:09 sec
17- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +1m:15 sec
18- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +1m:26 sec
19- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +1m:27 sec
20- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +1m:29 sec
21- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +1m:40 sec
22- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +1m:45 sec
23- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +1m:50 sec
24- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +1m:54 sec
25- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +1m:56 sec
26- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +1m:58 sec
27- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +2m:06 sec
28- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +2m:07 sec
29- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +2m:14 sec
30- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +2m:26 sec
31- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +2m:31 sec
32- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +2m:32 sec
33- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +2m:38 sec
34- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +3m:12 sec


Sprinter Standings:
1- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 10 pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 7 pts
3- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) 4 pts
4- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) 3 pts
5- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) 2 pts
6- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) 1pt

Climber Standings:
1- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 10pts (Climbing Leader)
2- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) 7pts
3- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) 3.5pts
4- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) 3.5pts
5- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) 2pts
6- Frank Refth (QAZOX) 1pt
7- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) 1pt
8- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) 1pt

Day 5 Stage 4- 85 miles: New Cheech City to Spicoli, Sativaville. Stage 4 Preview:

This stage could see the first snowfall during the TOUR since the 1896 TOUR. Temperatures on Mt. Spicoli are expected to be at or below freezing upon the Riders arrival. Despite the fact the stage is a mountain one, the riders will have an easier time going up the mountain, as they will be using the southern road up the mountain.

Total Distance: 85 miles.
Elevation at Start: 3300 ft.
Elevation at Finish: 7542 ft.
Highest Point: 7542 ft in Spicoli
Lowest Point: 3300 ft at the Startline
Weather Conditions: 51F, 0% chance of Rain, Mostly Cloudy at start; 1/2 way point 42F, 0% chance of rain Mostly Sunny; 29F 10% chance of Snow, Mostly Cloudy at finish.
Start Time: 9:20 am Local time.


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1916_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

(ooc: Its my Birthday today 2/6.. and i'm 30.. how the heck did I survive that long???)

<Dazza holding a fur coat>

Hi, this is Dazza Dallas at the Tour de Qazox 3. Stage 3 is over and things are getting better for team Jeruselem although we aren't exactly setting the cycling world alight yet. Kylie Kool finished 11th, 30 seconds behind Toaster Smith which isn't bad - she finished ahead of Johnnie Steele from Green Wombat. Kez Mofa suffered and finished 18th, 52 seconds behind the winner. The two girls are still down in ranking but Kylie has fought her way to 19th while Kez falls back 20th. Kylie is 89 seconds behind current leader Albert Theriault, so there's some ground to make up. Henry Critten has made his move up the field so watch out for the winner of last year.

Now, what's Dazza doing with a fur coat. Well, it's going to snow on Stage 4 so - I'm prepared. Yes, not rain - snow. OK, it might snow but Dazza's not going take chances. I hope it does not snow as well, the riders aren't going to be happy with snow but it should not rain. Before all you animal libbers send hate mail about me wearing dead animal, this is synethic not racoon or bearskin OK?

Last nights show seem to be quite popular, but then Dazza sleeping on the job isn't new. Well, the next stage should be interesting. 85 miles of hell, climbing up and down a mountain - not those things called hills in Jeruselem. But it's going be freaking cold for all riders and seeing what they wear, it's not going to be fun.

JGN are selling Team Jeruselem biking gear. You might not be here but you can look the part. The girl's look alike suite and helmets are for sale now. Impress that man looking like a Team Jeruselem rider. Also, we have "I love rippersticku" merchandise. Those ladies who adore the Pointy Stick man - get this because it's going be gone.

So, stay tuned for more highlights from the Tour. Team Jeruselem aren't winning but that Henry Critten is showing what champ he is now. He's making up ground and let's hope our Kylie can do the same too. Next is YAK YAK, I'd be hosting it but my temporary replacement Rachel Kool is doing a great job. Actually, I'm doing her old job.

"Here is Marcela Lobos for the Globo Multimedia's Sport Section. Now we'll talk about the Tour of Qazox."

"In the fourth stage, our experienced rider Zé do Caixão Jr. had a good performance, winning some points in the climbing competition. When asked about the stage, he said":

"It was very good, we made a good team work. Godofredo protected me while I was trying to win positions, so my team mates participated in my result."

"And Bernardo Petkovic is currently the sprint leader. More details in the next Globo Multimedia's Sport Section."

Historical Note: On this date in 1896, Wesley Eshelman became the 1st Jewish Rider to win a Tour Stage, winning Stage 7 by 3 minutes and 29 seconds over defending champion Sam Duprey. Eshelman would go onto win the 1896 TOUR by over 9 minutes, at the time, the 2nd largeest margin of victory. Four years later to the day, Wesley Eshelman crashed and unfortunately became the first person to die during the TOUR.


1916 TOUR de QAZOX STAGE 4 RESULTS


Stage 4- 85 miles: New Cheech City to Spicoli, Sativaville.
(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) 4 hrs:05 min:36 sec
2- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +0:00 sec
3- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +0:05 sec
4- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) +0:09 sec
5- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +0:12 sec
6- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +0:16 sec
7- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +0:16 sec
8- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +0:16 sec
9- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +0:26 sec
10- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:29 sec
11- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:34 sec
12- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:38 sec
13- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +0:40 sec
14- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +0:40 sec
15- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +0:46 sec
16- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +0:56 sec
17- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +0:56 sec
18- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +1m:02 sec
19- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +1m:02 sec
20- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +1m:13 sec
21- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +1m:13 sec
22- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +1m:13 sec
23- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +1m:17 sec
24- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +1m:17 sec
25- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +1m:19 sec
26- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +1m:19 sec
27- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +1m:27 sec
28- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +1m:27 sec
29- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +1m:30 sec
30- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +1m:34 sec
31- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +1m:34 sec
32- John Frost (Coocoostan) +1m:39 sec
33- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +1m:40 sec
34- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +1m:49 sec

Note: Lejaretta's tire crossed the line first, and technically is the winner, despite both riders having the same time.

OVERALL STANDINGS:
(Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR, Sprint Leader is in Green, Climber Leader is is Red, and
Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue)


1- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) 17hr:27min:18sec
2- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +0:22 sec
3- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +0:34 sec
4- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +0:46 sec
5- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:48 sec
6- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +1m:00 sec
7- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +1m:13 sec
8- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +1m:13 sec
9- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +1m:13 sec
10- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +1m:13 sec
11- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +1m:14 sec
12- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +1m:16 sec
13- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +1m:20 sec
14- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +1m:20 sec
15- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +1m:22 sec
16- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +1m:23 sec
17- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +1m:25 sec
18- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +1m:32 sec
19- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +1m:36 sec
20- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +1m:39 sec
21- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +1m:59 sec
22- John Frost (Coocoostan) +2m:00 sec
23- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +2m:02 sec
24- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +2m:05 sec
25- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +2m:05 sec
26- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +2m:06 sec
27- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +2m:06 sec
28- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +2m:07 sec
29- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +2m:19 sec
30- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +2m:33 sec
31- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +2m:34 sec
32- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +2m:43 sec
33- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +2m:47 sec
34- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +4m:00 sec


Sprinter Standings:
1- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 10 pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 7 pts
3- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) 4 pts
4- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) 3 pts
5- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) 2 pts
6- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) 1pt

Climber Standings:
1- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 10pts (Climbing Leader)
2- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) 8.5pts
3- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) 8.5pts
4- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) 7pts
5- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) 6.5pts
6- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) 4pts
7- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) 3.5pts
8- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) 2pts
9- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) 2pts
10- Frank Refth (QAZOX) 1pt
11- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) 1pt
12- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) 1pt
13- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 1pt
14- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 1pt
15- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) 1pt

Day 6 Stage 5- 89 miles: Spicoli to Juana City. Stage 5 Preview:

Toughstage as riders will begin in near freezing conditions and finish in near tropical temperatures. The northern Road down Mt. Spicoli is more dangerous than the southern road due to the sheer inclines down the mountain. Riders may reach speeds of up to 65 mph during some stretches.

Total Distance: 89 miles.
Elevation at Start: 7542 ft.
Elevation at Finish: 436 ft.
Highest Point: 7542 ft in Spicoli
Lowest Point: 436 ft at the finish.
Weather Conditions: 35F, 10% chance of Snow, Partly sunny at start; 1/2 way point 63F, 20% chance of rain, Mostly cloudy; 80F 20% chance of Rain, Mostly Cloudy at finish.
Start Time: 11:00 am Local time.


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1916_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

(ooc: I may not be able to post results tommorrow..just a heads up for y'all.)

Through 4 stagtes of the TOUR de QAZOX, our riders are struggling abit as they currently sit in 20th and 28th place overall at the moment. With onl;y two stages left until the TOUR moves to Green Wombat, many (read:3) people wonder: Will one of our own win a stage?

NO.

<Dazza Dallas in fur coat and Kylie Kool wearing a coat>

Dazza: Damn it's cold.
Kylie: Sure is, hey we're on air!
Dazza: Hi this is Dazza Dallas for JGN at the Tour de Qazox 3. I'm with Kylie Kool and it's cool here, too cool. Well, damn cold actually.
Kylie: Riding in cold isn't fun, lose too much energy trying to keep warm.

Dazza: Stage 4 is over and Kylie slowing making a move - slowly that is. She finished 11th while Kez Mofa was way back in 23th. The overall rankings aren't much different either, as Kylie here moves to 14th while Kez is sliding and now back in 25th. Henry Critten is leading the tour but we all expected that by now. Kylie, expecting to move into say the top 5?
Kylie: That's tough, I'll be happy with top 10 at the moment. Too man good men ahead of me.

Dazza: You are the highest ranked female, while Kez is not doing so well.
Kylie: I am a climber while the other two girls are fast girls. I don't expect to win or come 2nd like Ricky, I'm still learning.

Dazza: This weather, who is it going to help in the next stage? Stage 5 will start awfully cold and well end in a tropical area. Rather extreme I think.
Kylie: Well, all riders will suffer. The cold-hot won't be helpful but when it's warm - I'm ready. Maybe that's when I can make a move.

Dazza: So how do you keep warm?
Kylie: Just riding does keep some minimum body temperature - but keep moving. You can't afford to slow down or go slow really. Keeping warm is a struggle.

Dazza: I noticed Kez hates the mountains
Kylie: She's OK when it's flat but all this climbing suits me instead. Her diet doesn't help either as you really need the energy to drag yourself around.

Dazza: You have over a minute to make up on the leader - seeing the other leading riders climb well, so can you make any real headway?
Kylie: I don't know - I'm not rippersticku. I'll do my best for now.

Dazza: Well good luck with stage 4, I'm glad it's not me.
Kylie: It's my job - I have to do it.

Dazza: See you all later on the tour, Team Jeruselem aren't doing that well but the all female team aren't being useless. That are still competing.
Kylie: Sweet dreams everyone - like Dazza days.

Dazza: (smiles)

Globo Multimedia was showing the stage live, and Lejarreta was in the first place. But, in the last miles, a Cafundelense rider started to chase the leader. His name is Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso. For some moments he was the first placed, and when the riders finished the stage, the people that were watching the stage couldn't know who was the winner.

But the technology exists for this, and it was discovered that Formoso lost, Lejarreta finished the stage less than a second before Cafundéu's rider. Of course it was still a very good result, but the rider was clearly disappointed:

"It wasn't necessary to win, but it's sad to be close to a victory and then lose for a minimal difference", he said to the reporter Marcela Lobos.

(ooc: Guess I could after all)

Historical Note: This marks the 2nd straight time and the 25th time that the TOUR has had the mountain stages separated. The man who has won the most mountain stages overall is Nick Ciarow who won 14 mountain stages from 1896 to 1904. Ciarow is also the only person who has lead the TOUR at any point in 8 straight TOURS (1896-1903).


1916 TOUR de QAZOX STAGE 5 RESULTS


Stage 5- 89 miles: Spicoli to Juana City.
(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) 3 hrs:30 min:53 sec
2- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +0:04 sec
3- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +0:04 sec
4- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:07 sec
5- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +0:12 sec
6- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) +0:18 sec
7- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:25 sec
8- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +0:25 sec
9- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +0:29 sec
10- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +0:39 sec
11- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +0:39 sec
12- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +0:44 sec
13- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +0:49 sec
14- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +0:49 sec
15- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:49 sec
16- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +0:51 sec
17- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +0:51 sec
18- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +1m:01 sec
19- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +1m:06 sec
20- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +1m:10 sec
21- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +1m:10 sec
22- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +1m:10 sec
23- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +1m:10 sec
24- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +1m:10 sec
25- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +1m:13 sec
26- John Frost (Coocoostan) +1m:18 sec
27- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +1m:26 sec
28- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +1m:32 sec
29- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +1m:33 sec
30- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +1m:36 sec
31- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +1m:46 sec
32- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +1m:46 sec
33- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +1m:52 sec
34- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +2m:00 sec



OVERALL STANDINGS:
(Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR, Sprint Leader is in Green, Climber Leader is is Red, and
Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue)


1- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) 20hr:58min:39sec
2- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:37 sec
3- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +0:48 sec
4- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +0:55 sec
5- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +0:55 sec
6- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +1m:10 sec
7- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +1m:11 sec
8- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +1m:27 sec
9- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +1m:35 sec
10- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +1m:52 sec
11- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +1m:53 sec
12- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +1m:54 sec
13- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +1m:58 sec
14- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +2m:05 sec
15- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +2m:05 sec
16- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +2m:12 sec
17- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +2m:14 sec
18- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +2m:27 sec
19- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +2m:36 sec
20- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +2m:37 sec
21- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +2m:40 sec
22- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +2m:42 sec
23- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +2m:43 sec
24- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +2m:50 sec
25- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +2m:53 sec
26- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +2m:57 sec
27- John Frost (Coocoostan) +3m:00 sec
28- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +3m:18 sec
29- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +3m:26 sec
30- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +3m:27 sec
31- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +3m:35 sec
32- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +3m:36 sec
33- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +3m:48 sec
34- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +4m:33 sec


Sprinter Standings:
1- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 10 pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 7 pts
3- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) 4 pts
4- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) 3 pts
5- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) 2 pts
6- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) 1pt

Climber Standings:
1- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) 18.5pts
(Climbing Leader)
2- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 13pts
3- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) 9pts
4- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) 8.5pts
5- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) 7.5pts
6- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 6.5pts
7- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 6.5pts
8- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) 4pts
9- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) 3.5pts
10- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) 2pts
11- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) 2pts
12- Frank Refth (QAZOX) 1pt
13- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) 1pt
14- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) 1pt
15- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) 1pt

Day 7 Stage 6- 78 Miles: Juana City to Marleyville. Stage 6 Preview:

The exact opposite of Stage 1 as riders travel this time from Juana City back to Marleyville. With no chance of precipitation this time and the fact they are going downhill, the times should be a bit faster than in Stage 1.

Total Distance: 79 miles.
Elevation at Start: 399 ft.
Elevation at Finish: 56 ft.
Highest Point: 399 ft at Start line
Lowest Point: 52 ft, in Hora
Weather Conditions: 73F 0% chance of Rain, Clear at start; 1/2 way point 79F, 0% chance of rain, Clear; 85F 0% chance of Rain, Clear at the finish.
Start Time: 12:00 pm Local time.


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1916_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

This time, Globo Multimedia wasn't showing the stage due to the State Champions's Football Cup Final between Dunboor FC and Petardos S/A. But, when the game ended, Marcela Lobos was preparing herself to see the finish of the stage. The winner was Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso, who finished in the second place in the last stage, less than a second after the first placed. Extremely happy, Godofredo talked with Marcela:

"HAHAHA! YAHOO! I won, yes! I'm so happy, this one was a very difficult stage but I did the impossible to win. It's the best moment of my career until now!"

Now, the climbing leader and the sprint leader are both Cafundelenses. The country is very proud to have dedicated athletes. We'll continue to follow the Tour of Qazox, here in Globo Multimedia.

Historical Note: Mikel Lejaretta's win today gives him 5 stage wins over the last 3 TOURS. Lejaretta is the only person in the last 3 TOURS to have won mulitple stages, while not ever wearing the Blue Jersey. Only Zak K. Speed of The Mushroom Kingship, has won as many stages over the past 3 TOURS.

1916 TOUR de QAZOX STAGE 6 RESULTS


Stage 6- 78 Miles: Juana City to Marleyville
(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) 1 hr:54 min:41 sec
2- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +0:03 sec
3- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +0:07 sec
4- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +0:11 sec
5- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +0:14 sec
6- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +0:15 sec
7- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +0:21 sec
8- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +0:26 sec
9- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +0:29 sec
10- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +0:31 sec
11- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +0:35 sec
12- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +0:37 sec
13- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) +0:43 sec
14- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +0:45 sec
15- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:45 sec
16- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +0:45 sec
17- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +0:48 sec
18- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +0:53 sec
19- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:56 sec
20- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +1m:02 sec
21- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +1m:02sec
22- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +1m:02 sec
23- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +1m:05 sec
24- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +1m:07 sec
25- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +1m:07 sec
26- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +1m:10 sec
27- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +1m:12 sec
28- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +1m:12 sec
29- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +1m:15 sec
30- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +1m:15 sec
31- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +1m:19 sec
32- John Frost (Coocoostan) +1m:20 sec
33- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +1m:26 sec
34- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +1m:31 sec



OVERALL STANDINGS:
(Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR, Sprint Leader is in Green, Climber Leader is is Red, and
Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue)


1- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) 22hr:54min:03sec
2- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +0:12 sec
3- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +0:32 sec
4- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +0:49 sec
5- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +0:55 sec
6- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +1m:06 sec
7- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +1m:36 sec
8- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +1m:40 sec
9- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +1m:43 sec
10- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +1m:56 sec
11- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +1m:58 sec
12- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +2m:00 sec
13- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +2m:12 sec
14- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +2m:13 sec
15- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +2m:20 sec
16- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +2m:24 sec
17- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +2m:24 sec
18- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +2m:30 sec
19- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +2m:38 sec
20- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +2m:39 sec
21- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +2m:41 sec
22- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +2m:41 sec
23- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +2m:55 sec
24- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +2m:58 sec
25- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +3m:03 sec
26- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +3m:08 sec
27- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +3m:14 sec
28- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +3m:21 sec
29- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +3m:23 sec
30- John Frost (Coocoostan) +3m:37 sec
31- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +3m:40 sec
32- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +3m:53 sec
33- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +3m:58 sec
34- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +5m:02 sec


Sprinter Standings:
1- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 10 pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 7 pts
3- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) 4 pts
4- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) 3 pts
5- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) 2 pts
6- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) 1pt

Climber Standings:
1- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) 18.5pts
(Climbing Leader)
2- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 13pts
3- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) 9pts
4- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) 8.5pts
5- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) 7.5pts
6- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 6.5pts
7- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 6.5pts
8- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) 4pts
9- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) 3.5pts
10- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) 2pts
11- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) 2pts
12- Frank Refth (QAZOX) 1pt
13- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) 1pt
14- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) 1pt
15- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) 1pt

Day 8: Travel Day to Green Wombat
Day 9: Rest day
Day 10 Stage 7- 111 miles: Doet, Green Wombat to Hellispont, Green Wombat. Stage 7 Preview:

After a day of travel and a day of rest, The riders face the eaisest stage, depite the length of this stage. Teams will travel north up the Doet straights, traveling along the west coast of Green wombat. Doet marks the 1st time that a TOUR stage will begin below sea level.

Total Distance: 111 miles.
Elevation at Start: -15 ft.
Elevation at Finish: 189 ft.
Highest Point: 203 ft at Vomberg
Lowest Point: -15 ft, in Doet
Weather Conditions: 68F 0% chance of Rain, Clear at start; 1/2 way point 81F, 25% chance of rain, Cloudy; 79F 0% chance of Rain, Clear at the finish.
Start Time: 11:20 am Local time.


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1916_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

Dazza Dallas was wearing Team Jeruselem uniform and standing next to Ricky Pointy Stick holding a bike.

Dazza: I'm ready
Ricky: These things don't have brakes so remember that
Dazza: I will
Ricky: Now, you ride learning forward in these things - not upright.

Kylie and Kez: What you doing coach?
Ricky: Giving Dazza a few tips
Dazza: Just seeing what Dazza can do
Kylie: You look the part anyway

Ricky: Right, I want you to ride around this carpark and try not to fall off
Dazza: Wearing this thing, don't I want to.

<Dazza gets on the bike and rides about>

Kylie: She seems pretty comfortable on a bike
Kez: Pity about her bad knees, she might have a career
Ricky: She's definitely handling that thing, I'll give her a bigger test. HEY DAZZA

Dazza: Yes, rippersticku?
Ricky: Ride over that hill and back here as fast you can go
Dazza: Sure thing!

<Dazza disappears quickly>

Kez: Damn, she just took off like sprinter
Kylie: Kez, she is a known for her speed on the football field
Kez: Look at that, she's flying
Ricky: That was quick

<Dazza returns>

Dazza: How was that?
Ricky: Well, are you a trained sprinter?
Dazza: Not really, I just have this burst of speed
Kylie: That was good, for someone who doesn't cycle for living.

Kez: Not bad technique and good sustained speed
Dazza: Thanks, but I don't my knees can handle too much of this. Maybe if started earlier!
Ricky: A pity, but still you might have a chance if you do some real training
Dazza: Thanks but I get real tired these days. No endurance

Historical Note: On this date in 1897, Sam Hartsock won Stage 9 of the 1897 TOUR, his 5th consecutive stage win, setting a record that has not been borken since. Hartsock would also win 5 straight stages in 1898, but in his 6 other TOURs from 1899-1904 would not win a single stage.

1916 TOUR de QAZOX STAGE 7 RESULTS

Stage 7- 111 miles: Doet, Green Wombat to Hellispont, Green Wombat.
(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Albert Theriault (Algal States) 3 hr:46 min:06 sec
2- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +0:08 sec
3- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +0:08 sec
4- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:13 sec
5- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +0:13 sec
6- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +0:13 sec
7- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +0:13 sec
8- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +0:13 sec
9- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +0:19 sec
10- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +0:28 sec
11- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +0:28 sec
12- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:29 sec
13- John Frost (Coocoostan) +0:30 sec
14- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) +0:35 sec
15- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +0:39 sec
16- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +0:39 sec
17- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +0:41 sec
18- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:44 sec
19- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +0:44 sec
20- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +0:49 sec
21- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +0:52 sec
22- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +0:52 sec
23- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +0:54 sec
24- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +0:54 sec
25- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +0:54 sec
26- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +0:58 sec
27- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +0:58 sec
28- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +0:58 sec
29- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +1m:02 sec
30- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +1m:02 sec
31- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +1m:08 sec
32- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +1m:14 sec
33- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +1m:16 sec
34- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +1m:25 sec



OVERALL STANDINGS:
(Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR, Sprint Leader is in Green, Climber Leader is is Red, and
Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue)


1- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) 26hr:40min:44sec
2- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +0:16 sec
3- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +0:25 sec
4- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:44 sec
5- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +0:58 sec
6- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +1m:21 sec
7- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +1m:22 sec
8- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +1m:25 sec
9- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +1m:42 sec
10- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +1m:46 sec
11- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +1m:53 sec
12- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +1m:57 sec
13- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +1m:57 sec
14- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +2m:05 sec
15- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +2m:08 sec
16- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +2m:34 sec
17- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +2m:35 sec
18- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +2m:41 sec
19- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +2m:43 sec
20- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +2m:47 sec
21- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +2m:57 sec
22- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +2m:58 sec
23- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +3m:01 sec
24- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +3m:02 sec
25- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +3m:03 sec
26- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +3m:25 sec
27- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +3m:28 sec
28- John Frost (Coocoostan) +3m:32 sec
29- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +3m:35 sec
30- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +3m:55 sec
31- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +4m:16 sec
32- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +4m:17 sec
33- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +4m:19 sec
34- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +5m:29 sec


Sprinter Standings:
1- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 10 pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 7 pts
3- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) 4 pts
4- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) 3 pts
5- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) 2 pts
6- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) 1pt

Climber Standings:
1- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) 18.5pts(Climbing Leader)
2- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 13pts
3- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) 9pts
4- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) 8.5pts
5- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) 7.5pts
6- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 6.5pts
7- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 6.5pts
8- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) 4pts
9- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) 3.5pts
10- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) 2pts
11- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) 2pts
12- Frank Refth (QAZOX) 1pt
13- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) 1pt
14- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) 1pt
15- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) 1pt

Day 11 Stage 8- 51 miles (Individual Time Trial): Hellispont to Wachovia, Green wombat. Stage 8 Preview:

Long but fast Time trial stage, as riders will leave in inverse order of standings in 1 minute intervals. The riders will travel on Hwy. 7, an actual 4-lane highway, so speeds may reach 30+ mph on some stretches. (ooc: usually 22-25mph is a norm for a race.)

Total Distance: 51 miles.
Elevation at Start: 189 ft.
Elevation at Finish: 216 ft.
Highest Point: 278 ft at Herrringruins
Lowest Point: 175 ft, in Hellispont
Weather Conditions: 79F 0% chance of Rain, Clear at start; 1/2 way point 81F, 25% chance of rain, Cloudy; 85F 0% chance of Rain, Clear at the finish.
Start Time: 12:00 pm Local time.


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1916_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

Well the TOUR is being partly host by us, so its about time we got caught up in the 1st 10 days. After stage 7, defending champ Henry Critten, is leading the pack, but Mikel Lejaretta of Northern Caesarea is hot on his heels, only 16 second back. Johnnie Steele, who finished 4th last year is currently in 3rd, only 25 seconds back. With team Jeruselem sending two new riders, girls at that, Green Wombat looks like it could dominate once again. Our newest rider, Charles Eckart, is currently in 30th, but we didn't expect too much of him anyway.

We haven't won a stage yet, but with the rest of the TOUR in our own country, we have the home-field advantage so to speak, and the Blue jersey is gonna stay here.

Dazza: It's Dazza Dallas covering the Tour de Qazox 3 again. No real change as the Jeruselem girls fail to make any inroads into the leaders. Kylie Kool finished 12th in stage 7, 29 seconds off the pace while Kez Mofa was way back in 20th, 49 seconds away. The current rankings are lead by Henry Critten still but Kylie did finish ahead of Henry today and remains in the top 10 1 minute and 46 seconds away. Kez Mofa is 29th, some 3 minutes and 35 seconds away - and she's not going win this one. I'm with Ricky Pointy Stick

Ricky: I see you're wearing the JGN "I love ripperstucku" shirt Dazza
Dazza: Oh yes, I'm doing it for all your female fans

Ricky: Up to your old tricks again
Dazza: Tricks? It's called making television interesting. Kylie Kool - the best female climber in the tour and she's not exactly just making up the numbers. OK she is the only female climber really.

Ricky: Yes, she's doing well for her experience. She has to work a few thing but next tour, she's going to get better. Finishing 30 seconds off the lead constantly is good sign, but she needs to finish better. Finishing isn't easy - people like Henry know what to do, and it shows.
Dazza: Kez isn't fairing so well compared to Kylie

Ricky: I think I might have to make her a proper sprinter. She's not doing that well and her ranking needs improvement.
Dazza: She's doing a lot better than some of the males though

Ricky: She is two minutes ahead of last placed Bill Wenderley, so it's not terrible.
Dazza: You think little Dazza here has a future in cycling?

Ricky: Well, after a few training runs, you aren't bad. You're no climber but you can sure give some of those sprinters a scare.
Dazza: But I'm over 30, age gets to the body. My knees are fragile

Ricky: Yes, you are too old but a younger version of you in cycling - that's what we are after. We need the Dazza of cycling, have not found her yet.
Dazza: How do you find this person?

Ricky: Well, we might need some training camps to find this person. Male or female, I don't care. Vance Lumberjack was a great sprinter but we need the new generation now.
Dazza: Like an Veronica from Qazox?

Ricky: Yes, that's it. I know football is game of choice for Jeruselem people but I am sure there's cyclists with great skill who could join the team.
Dazza: Ratings are up over last tour, even if we aren't winning anything - can you think of any reasons.

Ricky: Trick question Dazza, with you and me on TV - male and female fans watch. Kylie has a few fans too.
Dazza: Got me, Ricky. That's it from the tour. No real progress but the girls are fighting on. And

<Dazza pulls out a book>

Dazza: Buy this everyone, it's my husbands biography. Called "Living with Dazza". A good read - err, find more about me!
Ricky: Finn's a nice guy, lucky to have a girl like you but you are once-off person.

Dazza: I'm not exactly some boring housewive
Ricky: You can say that again.

Historical Note: No historical note today as, the 1st female to ride in the TOUR de QAZOX, Veronica Forrester, who 3 months ago was involved in a car crash, has passed away earlier today, due to compications from her injuries. Forrester, who last year became the 1st women to win a stage and the 1st woman to wear the blue jersey in TOUR History, competed in 6 TOURS from 1910-15. She was 30 years old. Team QAZOX will wear a black armband with the initials VF on their arms for the rest of the TOUR. A special award, the Veronica Forrester Memorial Award, will be given each year starting this year to the best Female rider on the TOUR.

VERONICA FORRESTER 1886-1916

1916 TOUR de QAZOX STAGE 8 RESULTS

Stage 8- 51 miles (Individual Time Trial): Hellispont to Wachovia, Green wombat.
(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) 1 hr:27 min:11 sec
2- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +0:07 sec
3- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +0:08 sec
4- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +0:10 sec
5- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +0:12 sec
6- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +0:15 sec
7- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +0:20 sec
8- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +0:25 sec
9- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +0:31 sec
10- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +0:33 sec
11- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +0:37 sec
12- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +0:43 sec
13- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +0:44 sec
14- John Frost (Coocoostan) +0:49 sec
15- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +0:53 sec
16- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:54 sec
17- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +0:55 sec
18- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +1m:00 sec
19- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +1m:01 sec
20- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +1m:07 sec
21- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +1m:09 sec
22- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +1m:12 sec
23- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +1m:15 sec
24- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +1m:16 sec
25- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +1m:17 sec
26- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +1m:22 sec
27- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +1m:26 sec
28- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +1m:27 sec
29- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) +1m:28 sec
30- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +1m:34 sec
31- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +1m:38 sec
32- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +1m:43 sec
33- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +1m:44 sec
34- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +1m:49 sec



OVERALL STANDINGS:
(Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR, Sprint Leader is in Green, Climber Leader is is Red, and
Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue)


1- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) 28hr:08min:48sec
2- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) +0:19 sec
3- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +0:25 sec
4- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +0:57 sec
5- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +0:59 sec
6- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +1m:15 sec
7- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +1m:19 sec
8- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +1m:27 sec
9- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +1m:30 sec
10- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +1m:38 sec
11- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +1m:50 sec
12- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +1m:53 sec
13- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +1m:58 sec
14- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +2m:02 sec
15- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +2m:03 sec
16- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +2m:05 sec
17- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +2m:11 sec
18- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +2m:13 sec
19- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +2m:16 sec
20- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +2m:26 sec
21- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +2m:29 sec
22- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +2m:29 sec
23- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +2m:46 sec
24- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +2m:48 sec
25- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +2m:48 sec
26- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +2m:48 sec
27- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +2m:50 sec
28- John Frost (Coocoostan) +3m:12 sec
29- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +3m:20 sec
30- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +3m:21 sec
31- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +3m:32 sec
32- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +3m:43 sec
33- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +3m:53 sec
34- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +6m:09 sec


Sprinter Standings:
1- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 17 pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) 13 pts
3- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 11 pts
4- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) 4 pts
5- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) 4 pts
6- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) 3 pts
7- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) 1 pt
8- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) 1 pt


Climber Standings:
1- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) 18.5pts(Climbing Leader)
2- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 13pts
3- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) 9pts
4- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) 8.5pts
5- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) 7.5pts
6- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 6.5pts
7- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 6.5pts
8- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) 4pts
9- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) 3.5pts
10- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) 2pts
11- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) 2pts
12- Frank Refth (QAZOX) 1pt
13- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) 1pt
14- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) 1pt
15- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) 1pt

Day 12 Stage 9- 137 miles: Wachovia to Asylum, Green wombat. Stage 9 Preview:

A real tough stage as riders travel through the Great Insane desert, were temperatures could reach over 100 degrees. Coupled with the extreme heat, the length of the stage favors those with good endurance, and hydration is a must as most if not all riders will be

Total Distance: 137 miles.
Elevation at Start: 250 ft.
Elevation at Finish: 475 ft.
Highest Point: 493 ft at West Asylum.
Lowest Point: 243 ft, in Wachovia
Weather Conditions: 76F 0% chance of Rain, Clear at start; 1/2 way point 98F, 0% chance of rain, Sunny; 92F 0% chance of Rain, Clear at the finish.
Start Time: 5:30 am Local time. (the start time should allow most riders to finish the desert portion by 10:00 am, before the real serious heat begins.)


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1916_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

Dazza:

"Hi, I'm Dazza Dallas. This is an irregular Tour de Qazox 3 broadcast. Three months ago, a girl called Veronica Forrester died in car crash. The football world didn't know who she was but in Qazox, she was well loved like our rippersticku. She was the first female cyclist in the Tour de Qazox. This year we have two Jeruselem and one Random Toast female rider. At the ripe age of only 30, she died. A tragedy - but she was a pioneer. Team Jeruselem are wearing black arm bands for this and we hope people remember her. We do have two female cyclists who could win the Forrester Memorial Award, but Kylie Kool seems to be the main contender. Jeruselem are looking for more female riders. Veronica Forrester maybe gone but let's do the right thing by her - let's have more Veronica Forresters. When this Tour de Qazox 3 is over, we are looking for fast girl to join the Jeruselem team. If you want to try out, you don't need experience. Come to the Jeruselem Veledrome for the Jeruselem trials. Females only - no Gays please. Team Jeruselem are looking for the next big thing in cycling. You must be aged 18 to 30, be fit and willing to travel away from home. You can be from any occupation, even whores like me. We are looking for talent and well, here's you chance. I'd try out but I'm too old and my knees can't handle much these days. So, if you are interested - fill out the forms on the JGN web site and send them in. We will do physical on before the trials to weed out applicants with a bad physical condition. Veronica Forrester died young, too young. But you too can show the world women can cycle like the men, as Veronicia showed us. So ladies, think about it. You want to join team Jeruselem? Here's your chance.

And another thing, Veronica died on the roads in car - just like many other people too. Even cycling superstars can die in car crashes, so don't take road safety for granted. I know Jeruselem road aren't safe, even little old Dazza gets into prangs. I don't want people dying on our roads - cyclists get run over all the time. People, take care on the roads. Driving badly is no solution to combating other drivers driving badly, because what happens if you kill your family? Stay safe everyone"

Liz Kitten: Hi, this is Liz Kitten, reporting for Toast TV here in Qazok. I have with me Chris VanStone from the Toast team, Chris hows the tour goingh for you and the team?

Chris Vanstone: Well, Toasters doing great, up in 7th in the overall standings. He told me that he is still feeling very strong and hopes to push closer to the top of the standings. Ellys still concentrating on his sprinting, he had a good stage today and is third in the points, and as for me, I'm just happy to be here assisting my team mates where possible.

Liz: And hows the burger van sales going?

Chris: Well, I've been a bit busy with the cycling, but Jenny has helped me out selling a few burgers, so it's going quite well, especially on naked Thursday.

Liz: Thanks Chris, and now back to the studio for an update on the Guinea Pig Extreme Stunt Championships...

Historical Note: On this date in 1887, this 1st ever TOUR de QAZOX started with David Hingam winning the Prologue in a time of 1 hour, 17 minutes and 5 seconds. Hingham would go on to win 9 stages in his TOUR carrer, from 1887-91 but never finished higher than 6th overall in any TOUR.

IN MEMORIAM: VERONICA FORRESTER 1886-1916

1916 TOUR de QAZOX STAGE 9 RESULTS

Stage 9- 137 miles: Wachovia to Asylum, Green wombat.
(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) 6 hr:25 min:42 sec
2- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +0:08 sec
3- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +0:08 sec
4- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +0:16 sec
5- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +0:16 sec
6- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +0:16 sec
7- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +0:16 sec
8- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +0:19 sec
9- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:20 sec
10- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) +0:26 sec
11- John Frost (Coocoostan) +0:27 sec
12- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +0:30 sec
13- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:32 sec
14- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +0:32 sec
15- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +0:38 sec
16- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +0:38 sec
17- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +0:43 sec
18- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +0:43 sec
19- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:48 sec
20- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +0:52 sec
21- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +0:57 sec
22- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +0:57 sec
23- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +0:57 sec
24- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +1m:02 sec
25- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +1m:02 sec
26- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +1m:02 sec
27- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +1m:02 sec
28- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +1m:04 sec
29- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +1m:05 sec
30- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +1m:44 sec
31- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +1m:13 sec
32- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +1m:13 sec
33- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +1m:15 sec
34- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +1m:21 sec




OVERALL STANDINGS:
(Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR, Sprint Leader is in Green, Climber Leader is is Red, and
Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue)


1- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) 34hr:35min:15sec
2- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +0:07 sec
3- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +0:12 sec
4- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +0:34 sec
5- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +1m:06 sec
6- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +1m:21 sec
7- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +1m:27 sec
8- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +1m:32 sec
9- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +1m:32 sec
10- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +1m:44 sec
11- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +1m:46 sec
12- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +1m:48 sec
13- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +1m:56 sec
14- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +1m:58 sec
15- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +2m:02 sec
16- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +2m:05 sec
17- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +2m:08 sec
18- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +2m:09 sec
19- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +2m:10 sec
20- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +2m:23 sec
21- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +2m:37 sec
22- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +2m:50 sec
23- John Frost (Coocoostan) +3m:06 sec
24- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +3m:09 sec
25- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +3m:15 sec
26- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +3m:17 sec
27- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +3m:19 sec
28- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +3m:19 sec
29- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +3m:31 sec
30- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +3m:44 sec
31- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +3m:56 sec
32- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +4m:23 sec
33- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +4m:35 sec
34- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +6m:41 sec


Sprinter Standings:
1- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 17 pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) 13 pts
3- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 11 pts
4- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) 4 pts
5- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) 4 pts
6- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) 3 pts
7- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) 1 pt
8- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) 1 pt


Climber Standings:
1- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) 18.5pts(Climbing Leader)
2- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 13pts
3- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) 9pts
4- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) 8.5pts
5- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) 7.5pts
6- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 6.5pts
7- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 6.5pts
8- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) 4pts
9- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) 3.5pts
10- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) 2pts
11- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) 2pts
12- Frank Refth (QAZOX) 1pt
13- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) 1pt
14- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) 1pt
15- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) 1pt

Day 13 Stage 10- 171 miles: Asylum to Kraken, Green wombat. Stage 10 Preview:

Longest stage of this year's TOUR and quite possibly one of the most difficult ever. Riders will climb up almost 800 ft during the last 5 miles, as the 2nd part of the mountains loom. The early part of the race, in dry desert heat; will turn into cool wet weather by the end.

Total Distance: 171 miles.
Elevation at Start: 480 ft.
Elevation at Finish: 1200 ft.
Highest Point: 1289 ft in Port Horta
Lowest Point: 462 ft, in East Asylum
Weather Conditions: 86F 0% chance of Rain, Clear at start; 1/2 way point 78F, 30% chance of rain, Partly Cloudy; 67F 70% chance of Rain, Cloudy at the finish.
Start Time: 11:00 am Local time.


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1916_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

Due to severe weather in the Lake Porter region of Green Wombat, with rain falling up to .50" an hour in some areas and 40 MPH sustained winds, today's Stage 10 has been postponed. The GWWS (Green Wombat Weather Service) has predicted that the storm will last until Tommorrow Evening, so until Wednesday the TOUR is suspended.

(ooc: Due to classes tonight and tommorrow, I can't scorinate.. so enjoy this 2 day break.)

The storm has moved past, and Results are coming forthwithish. (yay I created a new word!!!)

Historical Note: The recent 2-day break due to weather, is nothing compared to the 1899 TOUR de QAZOX, when Blizzard Tyrone struck the New Bruxen region in February of 1899. The storm came in on an off day of the TOUR and dumped 46" of snow in the region, postponing the race for 6 days. On the next-to last day of the 1899 TOUR a mudslide caused by melting snow postponed the race for another 3 days. The 9 days lost resulted in the 1899 TOUR taking almost 5 weeks to complete.

IN MEMORIAM: VERONICA FORRESTER 1886-1916

1916 TOUR de QAZOX STAGE 10 RESULTS

Stage 10- 171 miles: Asylum to Kraken, Green wombat.
(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Albert Theriault (Algal States) 8hr: 35min: 11sec
2- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +0:04 sec
3- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +0:05 sec
4- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +0:10 sec
5- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +0:11 sec
6- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) +0:15 sec
7- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +0:20 sec
8- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +0:24 sec
9- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +0:28 sec
10- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +0:34 sec
11- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +0:39 sec
12- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +0:40 sec
13- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +0:43 sec
14- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +0:46 sec
15- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:49 sec
16- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +0:49 sec
17- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +0:50 sec
18- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +0:50 sec
19- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:54 sec
20- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:59 sec
21- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +0:59 sec
22- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +1m:04 sec
23- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +1m:09 sec
24- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +1m:15 sec
25- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +1m:02 sec
26- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +1m:23 sec
27- John Frost (Coocoostan) +1m:27 sec
28- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +1m:32 sec
29- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +1m:34 sec
30- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +1m:35 sec
31- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +1m:41 sec
32- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +1m:42 sec
33- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +1m:43 sec
34- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +1m:44 sec



OVERALL STANDINGS:
(Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR, Sprint Leader is in Green, Climber Leader is is Red, and
Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue)


1- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) 43hr:10min:41sec
2- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +0:03 sec
3- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +0:07 sec
4- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +0:19 sec
5- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +1m:17 sec
6- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +1m:47 sec
7- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +1m:50 sec
8- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +1m:53 sec
9- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +1m:56 sec
10- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +1m:56 sec
11- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +1m:59 sec
12- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +2m:07 sec
13- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +2m:16 sec
14- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +2m:24 sec
15- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +2m:33 sec
16- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +2m:39 sec
17- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +2m:42 sec
18- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +2m:44 sec
19- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +2m:49 sec
20- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +2m:57 sec
21- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +3m:02 sec
22- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +3m:40 sec
23- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +4m:11 sec
24- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +4m:17 sec
25- John Frost (Coocoostan) +4m:18 sec
26- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +4m:22 sec
27- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +4m:33 sec
28- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +4m:35 sec
29- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +4m:39 sec
30- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +4m:45 sec
31- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +5m:13 sec
32- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +5m:44 sec
33- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +6m:03 sec
34- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +8m:10 sec


Sprinter Standings:
1- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 17 pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) 13 pts
3- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 11 pts
4- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) 4 pts
5- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) 4 pts
6- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) 3 pts
7- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) 1 pt
8- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) 1 pt


Climber Standings:
1- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) 18.5pts(Climbing Leader)
2- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 13pts
3- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) 9pts
4- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) 8.5pts
5- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) 7.5pts
6- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 6.5pts
7- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 6.5pts
8- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) 4pts
9- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) 3.5pts
10- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) 2pts
11- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) 2pts
12- Frank Refth (QAZOX) 1pt
13- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) 1pt
14- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) 1pt
15- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) 1pt

Day 14 Stage 11- 101 miles: Kraken to Garrett, Green Wombat. Stage 11 Preview:

The 2nd part of the mountains begin with a steep 2500 foot climb up Kraken Mountain, then has 2 separate 700 ft climbs up Mt. Ibix. The climbs will be tough, due to the recent rainfall, as roads may be a bit slick, but race officals have ensured that there is no threat of mudslides or falling boulders along the race route.

Total Distance: 101 miles.
Elevation at Start: 479 ft.
Elevation at Finish: 3900 ft.
Highest Point: 4123 ft in Ibix
Lowest Point: 462 ft, in North Kraken
Weather Conditions: 68F 0% chance of Rain, Clear at start; 1/2 way point 69F, 0% chance of rain, Partly Cloudy; 53F 10% chance of Rain, Cloudy at the finish.
Start Time: 9:00 am Local time.


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1916_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

Historical Note: On this date in 1903, an unprecedented 5-way tie for the stage win occured, when Fred Kruger, Mike Myers, Jason Vorhees, Ivan Dracul and James Moriarity all finished with the same time. Photos showed that Fred Kruger crossed first, but the controversy surrounding the points awarded (it was a mountain stage), caused TOUR officals to use tracking chpis on all the cycles staring in 1904 to accurately determine finishes. Although today there can be ties for any postition, the chips allow a stage winner to be determined in any case.

IN MEMORIAM: VERONICA FORRESTER 1886-1916

1916 TOUR de QAZOX STAGE 11 RESULTS

Stage 11- 101 miles: Kraken to Garrett, Green Wombat.
(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 3hr: 35min: 53sec
2- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +0:06 sec
3- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +0:10 sec
4- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +0:10 sec
5- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +0:12 sec
6- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) +0:19 sec
7- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:25 sec
8- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +0:25 sec
9- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +0:29 sec
10- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +0:32 sec
11- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +0:32 sec
12- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +0:35 sec
13- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +0:40 sec
14- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:40 sec
15- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +0:40 sec
16- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +0:44 sec
17- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +0:44 sec
18- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +0:51 sec
19- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +0:51 sec
20- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +0:56 sec
21- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +1m:00 sec
22- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +1m:00 sec
23- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +1m:00 sec
24- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +1m:00 sec
25- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +1m:04 sec
26- John Frost (Coocoostan) +1m:12 sec
27- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +1m:23 sec
28- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +1m:25 sec
29- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +1m:27 sec
30- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +1m:33 sec
31- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +1m:38 sec
32- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +1m:38 sec
33- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +1m:41 sec
34- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +1m:47 sec



OVERALL STANDINGS:
(Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR, Sprint Leader is in Green, Climber Leader is is Red, and
Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue)


1- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) 46hr:46min:53sec
2- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +0:16 sec
3- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +0:23 sec
4- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +1m:31 sec
5- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +1m:38 sec
6- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +2m:03 sec
7- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +2m:06 sec
8- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +2m:09 sec
9- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +2m:25 sec
10- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +2m:36 sec
11- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +2m:39 sec
12- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +2m:40 sec
13- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +2m:48 sec
14- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +2m:55 sec
15- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +2m:55 sec
16- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +3m:00 sec
17- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +3m:09 sec
18- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +3m:15 sec
19- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +3m:38 sec
20- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +3m:42 sec
21- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +4m:04 sec
22- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +4m:26 sec
23- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +4m:36 sec
24- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +4m:42 sec
25- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +4m:44 sec
26- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +4m:49 sec
27- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +4m:53 sec
28- John Frost (Coocoostan) +5m:11 sec
29- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +5m:20 sec
30- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +5m:41 sec
31- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +5m:54 sec
32- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +6m:09 sec
33- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +6m:21 sec
34- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +8m:35 sec


Sprinter Standings:
1- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 17 pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) 13 pts
3- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 11 pts
4- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) 4 pts
5- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) 4 pts
6- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) 3 pts
7- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) 1 pt
8- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) 1 pt


Climber Standings:
1- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) 25.5pts(Climbing Leader)
2- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 23pts
3- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) 11pts
4- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 10.5pts
5- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 9.5pts
6- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) 8.5pts
7- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) 8.5pts
8- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) 4pts
9- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) 3.5pts
10- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) 2pts
11- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) 2pts
12- Frank Refth (QAZOX) 1pt
13- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) 1pt
14- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) 1pt
15- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) 1pt

Day 15- Travel Day (Garrett to Zito, Green wombat)
Day 16 Stage 12- 45 miles (Individual time Trial): Zito to Lake Brell City. Stage 12 Preview:

The mountains continue with a rare Mountain time trial. Only Sprint points will be earned. The course is mostly downhill, on the back side of Mt. Myers, but a 700 ft. climb over the last 6 miles will challenge the riders. Riders will once again leave in inverse order of current overall standings.

Total Distance: 45 miles.
Elevation at Start: 4296 ft.
Elevation at Finish: 1413 ft.
Highest Point: 4323 ft in South Zito
Lowest Point: 636 ft, in Brellview
Weather Conditions: 47F 0% chance of Rain, Clear at start; 1/2 way point 56F, 0% chance of rain, Partly Cloudy; 62F 10% chance of Rain, Cloudy at the finish.
Start Time: 1:00 pm Local time.
(ooc: Originally this was to be the Team time trial, but I've switched it with the 2nd individual Time trial (stage 16). Sorry all.)

(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1916_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

Due to work related issues I could not scorinate tonight. but will post in the AM. sry for the delay.

Kylie Kool and Kez Mofa knock of the coach's hotel room. Dazza Dallas in towel greets them.

Kylie: Morning Dazza, err what you doing in Ricky's hotel room?
Dazza: Me, nothing. Just sharing a room!
Kez: You sure nothing happened.
Dazza: If something did, I'd tell you!

Ricky: Morning girls, oh you noticed Dazza on here.
Kylie: Looks a bit funny, eh? (giggles)
Kez: Tabloid material coach
Dazza: We just shared a room, nothing funny happened.

Kylie: But hotel clerk said, Mrs Pointy Stick was here.
Dazza: Oh that! It's the couple trick. Done when we have to share a room.
Ricky: We did this quite a bit during World Cups when no rooms were around.
Dazza: That's why people think we're married sometimes.

Kylie: You two in same room and no funny business? Hard to believe.
Ricky: I know, but it's not easy either. Considering Dazza like a muck around a lot.
Kez: What's the wife say Ricky?
Ricky: Eh, she's used to me with lots of hot chicks around. Anyway, I do my naughty stuff at home. Dazza's less picky when.
Dazza: Been there done err that or who, yeah!

Kylie: Ready for go coach?
Ricky: I'm ready, Dazza's leaving a little later.
Kez: What do you wear when you sleep Dazza?
Dazza: Ricky will tell you, go on!

Ricky: Window cleaners dream.
Kylie: Nothing then
Dazza: (smiles)
Kez: Same as my Mum actually ... so Dazza's not unique

Ricky: See, Mums can be naughty too. Dazza's got this habit of trying to grab the nearest man when she's sleeping, looks sus to an outsider.
Kylie: Dazza always trying something on.
Dazza: When you get married, it's a habit.
Kylie: My Mum Rachel likes to the same. I guess it's the security blanket thing, except she's normally clothed.

Historical Note: Thaddeus E. Vonbach is a name that most people do not know about, but for Every rider in the TOUR de QAZOX, he is the most important man in Qazoxian Cycling. Vonbach was the man who founded the TOUR de QAZOX, and also the Qazian Ironman Triathalon. The Vonbach Trophy is given is his honor to the Winner of each year's TOUR.

IN MEMORIAM: VERONICA FORRESTER 1886-1916

1916 TOUR de QAZOX STAGE 12 RESULTS

Stage 12- 45 miles (Individual time Trial): Zito to Lake Brell City.
(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 1hr: 18min: 15sec
2- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +0:04 sec
3- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +0:07 sec
4- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +0:12 sec
5- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +0:13 sec
6- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +0:15 sec
7- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:19 sec
8- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +0:20 sec
9- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +0:24 sec
10- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +0:30 sec
11- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +0:33 sec
12- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +0:35 sec
13- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +0:41 sec
14- John Frost (Coocoostan) +0:43 sec
15- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +0:48 sec
16- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +0:52 sec
17- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +0:57 sec
18- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +0:58 sec
19- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +1m:03 sec
20- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +1m:04 sec
21- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +1m:08 sec
22- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +1m:14 sec
23- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +1m:17 sec
24- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +1:18 sec
25- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +1m:25 sec
26- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +1m:30 sec
27- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) +1m:34 sec
28- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +1m:39 sec
29- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +1m:41 sec
30- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +1m:43 sec
31- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +1m:46 sec
32- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +1m:48 sec
33- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +1m:50 sec
34- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +1m:55 sec



OVERALL STANDINGS:
(Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR, Sprint Leader is in Green, Climber Leader is is Red, and
Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue)


1- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) 48hr:06min:42sec (has blue jeresy due to more stage wins.
2- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) +0:00 sec
3- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +0:19 sec
4- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +1m:05 sec
5- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +1m:07 sec
6- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +1m:27 sec
7- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +1m:32 sec
8- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +1m:45 sec
9- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +1m:49 sec
10- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +1m:59 sec
11- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +2m:09 sec
12- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +2m:25 sec
13- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +2m:44 sec
14- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +2m:45 sec
15- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +2m:47 sec
16- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +2m:48 sec
17- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +2m:50 sec
18- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +2m:56 sec
19- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +2m:57 sec
20- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +3m:15 sec
21- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +3m:17 sec
22- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +3m:22 sec
23- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +3m:27 sec
24- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +3m:38 sec
25- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +3m:39 sec
26- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +3m:55 sec
27- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +4m:07 sec
28- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +4m:19 sec
29- John Frost (Coocoostan) +4m:20 sec
30- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +4m:27 sec
31- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +4m:31 sec
32- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +4m:47 sec
33- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +5m:00 sec
34- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +8m:51 sec


Sprinter Standings:
1- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 21 pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 17 pts
3-Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) 13 pts
4- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 7pts
5- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) 5 pts
6- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) 4 pts
7- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) 4 pts
8- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) 3 pts
9- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) 3 pts
10- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) 2pts
11- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) 1 pt
12- Kevin Storm (Sativaville)


Climber Standings:
1- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) 25.5pts(Climbing Leader)
2- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 23pts
3- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) 11pts
4- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 10.5pts
5- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 9.5pts
6- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) 8.5pts
7- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) 8.5pts
8- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) 4pts
9- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) 3.5pts
10- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) 2pts
11- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) 2pts
12- Frank Refth (QAZOX) 1pt
13- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) 1pt
14- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) 1pt
15- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) 1pt

Day 17 Stage 13- 96 miles: Lake Brell City to Sumthinelse, Green wombat. Stage 13 Preview:

Toughest mountain stage as riders have three separate clmbs up Mt. Notaho. With a cold front moving into the area, coupled with the high elevations, temperatures may fall into the low 30's during the stage, so riders are cautioned to wear warmer clothing.

Total Distance: 96 miles.
Elevation at Start: 1453 ft.
Elevation at Finish: 8023 ft.
Highest Point: 8113 ft in Sumthinelse
Lowest Point: 1413 ft, in Lake Brell City
Weather Conditions: 60F 0% chance of Rain, Clear at start; 1/2 way point 43F, 0% chance of rain, Sunny; 31F 00% chance of Rain, Sunny at the finish.
Start Time: 8:00 am Local time.


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1916_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

Historical Note: Wayne Hingus is the the TOUR record books, but for two records that no one in their right mind would want. Wayne holds the records for Longest Stage time, Stage 5, 1901 TOUR at 13hrs:35min:56 sec. The rider who finished before Wayne in that stage? His time was 4hrs:08min:03sec. And Wayne's second record: Longest time to complete a TOUR, also in 1901 at 95hrs:52min:01sec. The rider who finished the TOUR right ahead of him in the standings, finished 27hours ahead of Wayne. Wayne Hingus would also compete in the 1902 TOUR, but withdrew from the race after finishing the prologue in 3 hours, more than 2 hours off the winner's pace. So Wayne Hingus is probably the worst rider in history.

IN MEMORIAM: VERONICA FORRESTER 1886-1916

1916 TOUR de QAZOX STAGE 13 RESULTS

Stage 13- 96 miles: Lake Brell City to Sumthinelse, Green wombat.
(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) 4hr: 53min: 26sec
2- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:05 sec
3- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +0:11 sec
4- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +0:14 sec
5- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +0:20 sec
6- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +0:23 sec
7- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) +0:29 sec
8- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:33 sec
9- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +0:35 sec
10- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +0:40 sec
11- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +0:46 sec
12- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +0:49 sec
13- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:50 sec
14- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +0:51 sec
15- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +0:53 sec
16- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +0:55 sec
17- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +0:58 sec
18- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +1m:03 sec
19- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +1m:06 sec
20- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +1m:12 sec
21- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +1m:14 sec
22- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +1m:17 sec
23- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +1m:20 sec
24- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +1m:25 sec
25- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +1m:29sec
26- John Frost (Coocoostan) +1m:32 sec
27- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +1m:37 sec
28- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +1m:40 sec
29- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +1m:46 sec
30- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +1m:48 sec
31- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +1m:52 sec
32- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +1m:54 sec
33- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +1m:57 sec
34- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +2m:02 sec



OVERALL STANDINGS:
(Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR, Sprint Leader is in Green, Climber Leader is is Red, and
Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue)


1- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) 53hr:00min:37sec
2- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +0:20 sec
3- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +0:36 sec
4- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:41 sec
5- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +1m:01 sec
6- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +1m:14 sec
7- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +1:40 sec
8- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +1m:51 sec
9- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +2m:06 sec
10- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +2m:29 sec
11- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +2m:34 sec
12- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +2m:41 sec
13- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +2m:59 sec
14- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +3m:08 sec
15- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +3m:24 sec
16- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +3m:24 sec
17- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +3m:31 sec
18- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +3m:53 sec
19- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +3m:55 sec
20- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +4m:00 sec
21- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +4m:05 sec
22- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +4m:08 sec
23- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +4m:13 sec
24- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +4m:15 sec
25- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +4m:53 sec
26- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +5m:00 sec
27- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +5m:10 sec
28- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +5m:15 sec
29- John Frost (Coocoostan) +5m:23 sec
30- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +5m:23 sec
31- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +5m:26 sec
32- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +5m:48 sec
33- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +5m:56 sec
34- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +9m:17 sec


Sprinter Standings:
1- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 21 pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 17 pts
3- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) 13 pts
4- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 7pts
5- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) 5 pts
6- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) 4 pts
7- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) 4 pts
8- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) 3 pts
9- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) 3 pts
10- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) 2pts
11- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) 1 pt
12- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 1pt


Climber Standings:
1- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 30 pts(Climbing Leader)
2- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) 29.5 pts
3- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) 21 pts
4- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 12.5pts
5- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 12.5pts
6- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) 8.5pts
7- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) 8.5pts
8- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) 4.5pts
9- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) 4pts
10- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) 2pts
11- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) 2pts
12- Frank Refth (QAZOX) 1pt
13- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) 1pt
14- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) 1pt
15- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) 1pt

Day 18 Stage 14- 83 miles: Sumthinelse to Nueva Kiwi, Green wombat. Stage 14 Preview:

The mountains end after a trip down Mt. Notaho. Quick times can be had, but the roads are a bit treacherous. After the stage is completed, Teams will travel to The Hexagon on the Island of Verdi Spumante for the last stages of the TOUR.

Total Distance: 83 miles.
Elevation at Start: 7023 ft.
Elevation at Finish: 2346 ft.
Highest Point: 7023 ft in Sumthinelse
Lowest Point: 2136 ft, in Fromage
Weather Conditions: 38F 0% chance of Rain, Clear at start; 1/2 way point 57F, 0% chance of rain, Sunny; 69F 30% chance of Rain, Cloudy at the finish.
Start Time: 10:00 am Local time.


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1916_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

Historical Note: On this date in 1899, the TOUR offically sanctioned performance enhancing drugs. The rationale behind such a decision?, Of the 178 riders that raced in the 1894-99 TOURS, all but 15 tested positive at one point or another for Steroids, HGH or other such chemicals. So to level out the playing field, and to add a ratings boost, the TOUR dropped its mandatory drug testing. The TOUR does still drug test, but the tests are for race officals only. We don't want an offical on PCP to wander into traffic or anything now do we?

IN MEMORIAM: VERONICA FORRESTER 1886-1916

1916 TOUR de QAZOX STAGE 14 RESULTS

Stage 14- 83 miles: Sumthinelse to Nueva Kiwi, Green wombatwombat.
(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 3hr: 12min: 05sec
2- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +0:04 sec
3- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +0:08 sec
4- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:14 sec
5- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +0:14 sec
6- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +0:16 sec
7- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +0:21 sec
8- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:22 sec
9- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) +0:31 sec
10- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:33 sec
11- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +0:33 sec
12- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +0:33 sec
13- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +0:37 sec
14- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +0:39 sec
15- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +0:39 sec
16- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +0:44 sec
17- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +0:48 sec
18- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +0:53 sec
19- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +0:53 sec
20- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +0:54 sec
21- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +0:57 sec
22- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +0:59 sec
23- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +0:59 sec
24- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +1m:03 sec
25- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +1m:03 sec
26- John Frost (Coocoostan) +1m:06 sec
27- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +1m:12 sec
28- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +1m:12 sec
29- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +1m:13 sec
30- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +1m:17 sec
31- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +1m:19 sec
32- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +1m:24 sec
33- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +1m:29 sec
34- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +1m:31 sec



OVERALL STANDINGS:
(Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR, Sprint Leader is in Green, Climber Leader is is Red, and
Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue)


1- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) 56hr:13min:13sec
2- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:24 sec CLIMBING CHAMPION
3- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +0:28 sec
4- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +0:44 sec
5- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +0:51 sec
6- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +0:57 sec
7- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +1:17 sec
8- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +1m:57 sec
9- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +2m:08 sec
10- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +2m:10 sec
11- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +2m:20 sec
12- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +2m:41 sec
13- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +3m:02 sec
14- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +3m:12 sec
15- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +3m:56 sec
16- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +4m:02 sec
17- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +4m:03 sec
18- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +4m:10 sec
19- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +4m:17 sec
20- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +4m:33 sec
21- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +4m:34 sec
22- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +4m:37 sec
23- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +4m:38 sec
24- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +4m:41 sec
25- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +5m:01 sec
26- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +5m:36 sec
27- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +5m:37 sec
28- John Frost (Coocoostan) +5m:53 sec
29- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +6m:00 sec
30- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +6m:08 sec
31- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +6m:19 sec
32- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +6m:21 sec
33- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +6m:29 sec
34- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +9m:34 sec


Sprinter Standings:
1- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 21 pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 17 pts
3- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) 13 pts
4- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 7pts
5- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) 5 pts
6- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) 4 pts
7- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) 4 pts
8- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) 3 pts
9- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) 3 pts
10- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) 2pts
11- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) 1 pt
12- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 1pt


FINAL CLIMBER STANDINGS
1- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 32.5 pts(Climbing Champion)
2- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) 31 pts
3- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) 25 pts
4- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 22.5pts
5- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 19.5pts
6- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) 8.5pts
7- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) 8.5pts
8- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) 4.5pts
9- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) 4pts
10- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) 2pts
11- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) 2pts
12- Frank Refth (QAZOX) 1pt
13- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) 1pt
14- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) 1pt
15- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) 1pt
16- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) 1pt

Day 19 Stage 15- 100 miles: The Hexagon to Cuidad de Rojo Toro, Green Wombat. Stage 15 Preview:

After travelling to the capital of Green Wombat overnight, riders face a long ride from The Hexagon to Cuidad de Rojo Toro. A total of 5 climbs, will make the stage seem like a mountain stage, but the climbs are all less that 500 feet. This will be one of the last chances for most riders to catch the leaders with the Team Time Trial the next day.

Total Distance: 100 miles.
Elevation at Start: Sea level
Elevation at Finish: 739 ft.
Highest Point: 823 ft in Puebla Azul
Lowest Point: Sea level in The Hexagon
Weather Conditions: 63F 0% chance of Rain, Clear at start; 1/2 way point 75F, 0% chance of rain, Sunny; 77F 30% chance of Rain, Cloudy at the finish.
Start Time: 11:30 am Local time.


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1916_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

Historical Note: On this date in 1900, the largest margin of victory is the TOUR's history occured when Herman Milewski won his only TOUR title by beating the field by 19 minutes and 15 seconds. Milewski's TOUR however is regarded as the worst TOUR ever as only 7 of the original 25 riders even finished. 6 riders withdrew in protest over a last minute change to Stage 12, and 12 other riders had to withdraw due to injury. Despite this, Milewski set a record that probably won't be broken in the near future.

IN MEMORIAM: VERONICA FORRESTER 1886-1916

1916 TOUR de QAZOX STAGE 15 RESULTS

Stage 15- 100 miles: The Hexagon to Cuidad de Rojo Toro, Green Wombat.
(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 3hr: 42min: 26sec
2- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +0:02 sec
3- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +0:03 sec
4- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) +0:07 sec
5- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +0:11 sec
6- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +0:13 sec
7- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +0:17 sec
8- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +0:19 sec
9- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +0:23 sec
10- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +0:24 sec
11- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:30 sec
12- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +0:35 sec
13- John Frost (Coocoostan) +0:38 sec
14- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +0:43 sec
15- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +0:44 sec
16- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:47 sec
17- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +0:48 sec
18- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +0:54 sec
19- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +0:58 sec
20- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +1m:01 sec
21- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +1m:06 sec
22- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +1m:09 sec
23- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +1m:13 sec
24- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +1m:15 sec
25- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +1m:20 sec
26- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +1m:24 sec
27- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +1m:26 sec
28- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +1m:31 sec
29- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +1m:37 sec
30- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +1m:38 sec
31- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +1m:39 sec
32- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +1m:44 sec
33- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +1m:47 sec
34- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +1m:50 sec



OVERALL STANDINGS:
(Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR, Sprint Leader is in Green, Climber Leader is is Red, and
Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue)


1- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) 59hr:55min:46sec
2- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +0:17 sec CLIMBING CHAMPION
3- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +0:47 sec
4- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +1m:09 sec
5- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +1m:12 sec
6- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +1:12 sec
7- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +1m:34 sec
8- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +2m:43 sec
9- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +2m:48 sec
10- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +3m:05 sec
11- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +3m:12 sec
12- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +3m:40 sec
13- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +3m:16 sec
14- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +4m:06 sec
15- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +4m:15 sec
16- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +4m:26 sec
17- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +4m:34 sec
18- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +4m:39 sec
19- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +4m:50 sec
20- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +5m:15 sec
21- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +5m:17 sec
22- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +5m:32 sec
23- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +5m:37 sec
24- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +6m:10 sec
25- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +6m:20 sec
26- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +6m:23 sec
27- John Frost (Coocoostan) +6m:23 sec
28- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +6m:54 sec
29- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +6m:56 sec
30- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +7m:48 sec
31- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +7m:52 sec
32- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +7m:56 sec
33- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +7m:59 sec
34- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +10m:10 sec


Sprinter Standings:
1- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 21 pts (Sprint Leader)
2- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 17 pts
3- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) 13 pts
4- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 7pts
5- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) 5 pts
6- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) 4 pts
7- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) 4 pts
8- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) 3 pts
9- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) 3 pts
10- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) 2pts
11- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) 1 pt
12- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 1pt


FINAL CLIMBER STANDINGS
1- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 32.5 pts(Climbing Champion)
2- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) 31 pts
3- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) 25 pts
4- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 22.5pts
5- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 19.5pts
6- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) 8.5pts
7- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) 8.5pts
8- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) 4.5pts
9- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) 4pts
10- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) 2pts
11- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) 2pts
12- Frank Refth (QAZOX) 1pt
13- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) 1pt
14- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) 1pt
15- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) 1pt
16- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) 1pt

Day 20 Stage 16- 42 miles (Team time trial): Cuidad de Rojo Toro to Vromskien, Green wombat. Stage 16 Preview:

The Team time trial will see the teams travel through the Simpson Air Force Base. The course is mostly flat, so riders can get great speed during the stage, but will be cautioned that any wrong turms may result in the rider being shot. The teams will leave in 90 second intervals and a random draw has taken place for the order in which teams will leave. The team's time will be the recorded time of the last rider of the team to cross the finish line.

TEAM ORDER OF TIME TRIAL
1- Quakmybush
2- Algal States
3- Green wombat
4- Sativaville
5- Schiavonia
6- Random Toast
7- Coocoostan
8- San Monticaz
9- Qazox
10- Cafundeu
11- Jeruselem
12- Northern Caesarea
13- Lovisa

Total Distance: 42 miles.
Elevation at Start: 625 FT
Elevation at Finish: 339 ft.
Highest Point: 672 ft in Madre de Diablos
Lowest Point: 300 ft in SAFB.
Weather Conditions: 68F 30% chance of Rain, Coudy at start; 1/2 way point 72F, 60% chance of rain, Cloudy; 77F 85% chance of Rain, Cloudy at the finish.
Start Time: 12:00pm Local time.


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1916_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

Dazza: Hi, this is your favourite TV bimbo covering the Tour de Qazox 3. 15 stages have been completed and it's time trial time. with me is our resident speedster Kez Mofa.
Kez: Hi Dazza. I hope you haven't been playing up again.

Dazza: Me? Never! I'm just being Dazza and having some good clean fun.
Kez: Don't know about the clean bit though.

Dazza: Ready for the time trial Kez? I know Kylie hates it and well, so did Ricky.
Kez: My time to do well except I have plenty of competition. I don't expect to win but top 5 placing would be nice.

Dazza: What's the key to winning a time trial?
Kez: Well, just going fast and not losing momentum at all. Once you lose any momentum, its hard to get back. Falling over or bad corner will do that to you.

Dazza: So how does one just keep going, well fast.
Kez: Unlike the mountain stages where tactics are used to help fellow riders, it's different for the time trial. You don't fight the competition, it's all about yourself and timing. It's all upto you and no one else can help you get that time.

Dazza: So like the drag cars - just go and don't stop.
Kez: Yes, except there's corners to negotiate. You must just concentrate on you and there's no one else to worry about.

Dazza: So it's the power game here, the one with most power down and in the most efficient manner - does the best.
Kez: More or less. It's head down and zoom, off you go. Just peddle with in manner providing maximum power and speed.

Dazza: So how do you just go fast assuming you have the ability to sprint.
Kez: Technique and balance, got to be in the pose and have the balance to blast your way around without crashing. You need the powerful leg muscles to power the bike which Kylie does not have - she's more of the endurance athelete. Sprinters are power freaks - fast but only for an certain distance.

Dazza: Well, that's it from me and Kez at the tour. Time trial when these riders get around as fast as they can and it's flat too.
Kez: I just hope I can put in a good time to help Kylie out.

Historical Note: Kyle Cartman is probably the greatest athlete in Qazoxian history. Winner of the first three TOURs de QAZOX, winner of the first two Qazoxian Ironman Triathlons, and star reporter, who died mysteriously in Bazalonia during the Baptism of Fire 24 years ago on this date. Cartman, who died too young, is remembered every TOUR by having a rider, who is dressed in black, start the final stage, and ride the first mile in front of the pack, during which he or she cannot be passed. The Rider selected for that honor this year is Qazox' Alan O'Neill. After the 1st mile is completed, the riders may pass the rider, but any who pass before the first mile is complete will be sent to the back of the pack.

IN MEMORIAM: VERONICA FORRESTER 1886-1916

1916 TOUR de QAZOX STAGE 16 RESULTS

Stage 16- 42 miles (Team time trial): Cuidad de Rojo Toro to Vromskien, Green wombat.
(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)
(only the 1st rider to cross the finish line from each team recieves Sprint Points)
1- Coocoostan 1hr:15min:05sec
2- Quakmybush +0:21 sec
3- Qazox +0:32 sec
4- Lovisa +0:46 sec
5- Schiavonia +1m:06 sec
6- Algal States +1m:22 sec
7- Random Toast +1m:22 sec
8- Cafundeu +1m:32 sec
9- Sativaville +1m:34 sec
10- Jeruselem +1m:42 sec
11- Northern Caesarea +1m:55 sec
12- San Monticaz +2m:26 sec
13- Green Wombat +2m:49 sec



OVERALL STANDINGS:
(Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR, Sprint Leader is in Green, Climber Leader is is Red, and
Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue)


1- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 61hr:12min:13sec CLIMBING CHAMPION
2- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +0:40 sec
3- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) +1m:10 sec
4- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +1m:25 sec
5- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +1m:27 sec
6- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +1m:41 sec
7- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +1m:54 sec
8- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +1:59 sec
9- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +2m:22 sec
10- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +2m:23 sec
11- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +2m:46 sec
12- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +2m:59 sec
13- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +3m:08 sec
14- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +3m:21 sec
15- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +3m:35 sec
16- John Frost (Coocoostan) +3m:36 sec
17- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +4m:17 sec
18- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +4m:22 sec
19- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +4m:24 sec
20- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +4m:44 sec
21- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +4m:58 sec
22- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +5m:04 sec
23- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +5m:06 sec
24- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +5m:37 sec
25- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +5m:38 sec
26- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +6m:03 sec SPRINT CHAMPION
27- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +6m:21 sec
28- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +6m:36 sec
29- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +6m:52 sec
30- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +6m:55 sec
31- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +7m:20 sec
32- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +7m:45 sec
33- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +8m:43 sec
34- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +10m:07 sec


FINAL SPRINT STANDINGS:
1- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 21 pts (Sprint Champion)
2- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 17 pts
3- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) 14 pts
4- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 7pts
5- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) 7 pts
6- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) 9 pts
7- Sergei Buznikin (Coocoostan) 5pts
8- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) 5 pts
9- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) 4 pts
10- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) 3 pts
11- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) 2pts
12- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) 1 pt
13- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 1pt


FINAL CLIMBER STANDINGS
1- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 32.5 pts(Climbing Champion)
2- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) 31 pts
3- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) 25 pts
4- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 22.5pts
5- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 19.5pts
6- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) 8.5pts
7- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) 8.5pts
8- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) 4.5pts
9- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) 4pts
10- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) 2pts
11- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) 2pts
12- Frank Refth (QAZOX) 1pt
13- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) 1pt
14- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) 1pt
15- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) 1pt
16- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) 1pt

Day 21 Stage 17- 66 miles Vormskien to The Hexagon. Stage 17 Preview:

Final Stage as the riders make one last effort to win the TOUR. Fairly easy stage with only trouble spot located in downtown The Hexagon. Most of the last 2 miles of the race will be in a tunnel, through downtwon, with the last 700 ft a sprint up Pentas Blvd. to the finish line.



Total Distance: 66 miles.
Elevation at Start: 402 ft.
Elevation at Finish: 29 ft.
Highest Point: 423 ft in Vormskien
Lowest Point: 17 ft in the Hexagon
Weather Conditions: 70F 0% chance of Rain, Cloudy at start; 1/2 way point 75F, 10% chance of rain, Cloudy; 73F 00% chance of Rain, Overcast at the finish.
Start Time: 9:15 am Local time.


(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1916_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

(live coverage of the TOUR)

Announcer: .. and at the half way point of the stage, Team Green Womabt has the 3rd fastest time so far, and Henry Critten looks assured of a repeat TOUR win. OH MY GOD....Critten has FALLEN!!! A bit of a slick spot on the turn there and Henry Critten HAS FALLEN! His teammates must keep going, and hope that Critten is not to seriouly injured, as that will drop their time.

(about 40 minutes later)

Announcer: And Henry Critten is still on the course, his two teammates have finished, but with each second, the blue jersey is slipping away.. and Now it's offical, Toaster Smith will wear the blue jeresy for the last stage. One can only hope that Critten will finish with a decent enough time, and still will have a shot at back-to-back titles. Critten seems to be struggling a bit he over the last half-mile and his across the line, and he will be... over a minute behind Toaster Smith, and the dream has seemingly died for Henry Critten and Green Wombat as they are 70 seconds behind the leader with only the pentultimate stage to go. Truly a dissapointed Critten will be wondering about that spill at the half-way mark forever.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v465/mriggs17/CoocoostanskySport.jpg
Vromskien-Green Wombat

Sergei Buznikin showed the veteran poise that has been rare throughout the Tour de Qazox and rode what most call the race of his life to lead the 2 man team of Buznikin and John Frost to victory in the team time trial stage of the 3rd Tour de Qazox. The team crossed the line in 1:15.05 edging out teams from Quakmybush and Qazox. "It's a triumph, an absolute triumph. People were dissapointed with me, dissapointed with John, this whole race because we weren't able to keep up. Well, people need to be patient, we can ride with the world's best and the fact that it's our flag and ours alone that's the highest today, that's all the proof we need," the exhillerated Buznikin said. Rookie rider John Frost, who is ahead of Buznikin in the standings, with 16th overall, was also overjoyed and quick to praise the mentorship he received. "Sergei's been such a help this whole tour, just giving me advice on what to eat, what to do to the bike, the other riders, you can barely tell its his first time." Buznikin finished in a tie for seventh in the sprinter standings, a surprise, since Frost was considered to be the better sprinter. The final stage is tomorrow and while both riders are well back, a high stage finish could be in the cards with this newfound momentum. Asked about his future, Buznikin sang a different tune than in previous weeks, "Yes, I will go to the Casarian Yolympics to compete and if that goes well, then I will retire after the summer Olympiad."

Historical Note: This marks the only the 3rd time in TOUR history that there has been 3 straight First time winners of the TOUR. The first occurance was 1895-97 when Sam Duprey, Wesley Eshelman and Sam Hartsock each won thier 1st titles. The most recent occurance was from 1906-10 when 5 straight riders each won their first title (Gordon Hruska, Brent Cassara, David Judah, Maurice Rhodes and Greg Johansen). Congradualtions to Toaster Smith, the 1916 TOUR de QAZOX Champion!

IN MEMORIAM: VERONICA FORRESTER 1886-1916

1916 TOUR de QAZOX STAGE 17 RESULTS

Stage 17- 66 miles Vormskien to The Hexagon.
(Stage winner in Bold. Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue, the Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR)

1- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) 2hr: 35min: 51sec
2- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +0:03 sec
3- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +0:08 sec
4- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +0:10 sec
5- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +0:13 sec
6- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +0:17 sec
7- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +0:20 sec
8- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +0:26 sec
9- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +0:31 sec
10- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +0:32 sec
11- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +0:35 sec
12- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) +0:37 sec
13- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +0:38 sec
14- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +0:39 sec
15- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +0:41 sec
16- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +0:42 sec
17- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +0:43 sec
18- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +0:47 sec
19- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +0:52 sec
20- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +0:53 sec
21- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +0:56 sec
22- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +0:58 sec
23- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +1m:02 sec
24- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +1m:03 sec
25- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +1m:04 sec
26- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +1m:07 sec
27- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) +1m:11 sec
28- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +1m:12 sec
29- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +1m:13 sec
30- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +1m:14 sec
31- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +1m:15 sec
32- John Frost (Coocoostan) +1m:06 sec
33- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +0:48 sec
34- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +0:08 sec



FINAL OVERALL STANDINGS:
(Defending Champion is in Bold Italics for the duration of the TOUR, Sprint Leader is in Green, Climber Leader is is Red, and
Overall Leader going into the stage is in blue)


1- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 63hr:49min:15sec CLIMBING CHAMPION
2- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) +0:14 sec
3- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) +0:36 sec
4- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) +0:43 sec
5- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) +0:54 sec
6- Alan O'Neill (QAZOX) +1m:09 sec
7- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) +1m:42 sec
8- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) +1m:45 sec
9- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) +2m:14 sec
10- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) +2m:10 sec
11- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) +2m:20 sec
12- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) +2m:27 sec
13- Kylie Kool (Jeruselem) +2m:31 sec
14- Frank Refth (QAZOX) +2m:41 sec
15- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) +3m:28 sec
16- Albert Theriault (Algal States) +3m:32 sec
17- John Frost (Coocoostan) +3m:43 sec
18- Sebastien Bruel (Lovisa) +3m:55 sec
19- Sergi Buznkin (Coocoostan) +4m:16 sec
20- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) +4m:23 sec
21- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) +4m:25 sec
22- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) +4m:39 sec
23- Darrin McBride (Sativaville) +5m:01 sec
24- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) +5m:08 sec
25- Elly Bean (Random Toast) +5m:12 sec SPRINT CHAMPION
26- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) +5m:13 sec
27- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) +5m:30 sec
28- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) +6m:01 sec
29- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) +6m:22 sec
30- Kez Mofa (Jeruselem) +6m:23 sec
31- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) +6m:42 sec
32- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) +7m:16 sec
33- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) +8m:19 sec
34- Bill Wenderley (Schiavonia) +10m:18 sec


FINAL SPRINT STANDINGS:
1- Elly Bean (Random Toast) 21 pts (Sprint Champion)
2- Bernardo Petkovic (Cafundéu) 17 pts
3- Jimmy Gardner (Schiavonia) 14 pts
4- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 7pts
5- Jeff Holl (QAZOX) 7 pts
6- Sepp Neitemeier (Quakmybush) 9 pts
7- Sergei Buznikin (Coocoostan) 5pts
8- Bastian Schlager (Lovisa) 5 pts
9- Mikel Perurena (Northern Caesarea) 4 pts
10- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) 3 pts
11- Dameon Carlos (San Monticaz) 2pts
12- Carlos Labella (Schiavonia) 1 pt
13- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 1pt


FINAL CLIMBER STANDINGS
1- Toaster Smith (Random Toast) 32.5 pts(Climbing Champion)
2- Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso (Cafundéu) 31 pts
3- Blas Celino (San Monticaz) 25 pts
4- Pëtr Vladimirovič Surikov (Quakmybush) 22.5pts
5- Kevin Storm (Sativaville) 19.5pts
6- Mikel Lejarreta (Northern Caesarea) 8.5pts
7- Henry Critten (Green Wombat) 8.5pts
8- Zé do Caixão Jr. (Cafundéu) 4.5pts
9- Juan Carlos Aguilar (Northern Caesarea) 4pts
10- Pedro Alacoa (Lovisa) 2pts
11- Johnnie Steele (Green Wombat) 2pts
12- Frank Refth (QAZOX) 1pt
13- Ramound Fidel (San Monticaz) 1pt
14- Chris van Stone (Random Toast) 1pt
15- Lance Legstrong (Quakmybush) 1pt
16- Charles Eckart (Green wombat) 1pt



(NSwiki page for ya: http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/1916_TOUR_de_QAZOX just in case you forget who won what stage...)

1916 Superlatives

Most days wearing Blue Jersey- (13) Henry Critten
Most stage wins- (3)- Mikel Lejarreta, Toaster Smith and Albert Theriault
Most days spent in Top 5- (18)- Henry Critten
Elly Bean becomes 2nd woman to win a Stage (Stage 12) and the 1st woman to win either the Sprinter's or Climber's jersey.
(10) different stage winners, 3rd Most ever.
Toaster Smith becomes 1st rider ever to win both the TOUR and the Climbing championship in the same year.
2nd Closest finish ever, 14 seconds, narrowly avoiding tying last year's record of 12 seconds.
Fastest Tour Time ever. (Disclaimer: Course was shortest Course ever used as well)
2nd time that no Qazoxian Rider won a stage (also happened in 1914).
Mikel Lejarreta becomes only 4th rider to finish in top 5 three consecutive years. (Kyle Cartman 1887-89, Lester Degregorio 1891-94, and Rick Prendergast 1901-05).
Team Random Toast becomes 1st time, since international riders were allowed to race, to win all three titles of Climing Champion, Sprint champion and Overall Champion.

The Qazoxian Press Corps Has released its Best of TOUR awards:

BEST OVERALL RIDER: Henry Critten, Green Wombat

MOST IMPRESSIVE RIDER: Toaster Smith, Random Toast

MOST IMPROVED RIDER: Zé do Caixão Jr., Cafundéu

BEST YOUNG RIDER (Rider uder age of 25): (3-way tie) Kylie Kool, Jeruselem, Blas Celino San Monticaz and Godofredo Rodolfo Formoso, Cafundéu

BEST STAGE PERFORMANCE: Mikel Lejarreta, Northern Caesarea; Stage 17

MOST POPULAR RIDER (as voted on QSPN.com)- Kylie Kool, Jeruselem

MOST HANDSOME RIDER (as Voted on QSPN.com)- Dameon Carlos, San Monticaz

KYLE CARTMAN MEMORIAL COURAGE AWARD: Albert Theriault (Algal States)

BEST OVERALL TEAM AWARD: Team Northern Caesarea

VERONICA FORRESTER MEMORIAL AWARD (best Female Rider): Kylie Kool, Jeruselem

See you in Qazox for TOUR de QAZOX IV (1917).

Bumped to allow teams to see who actually won.

Live Coverage of the final stage from Toast TV:

Liz Kitten: ...Hello, and welcome to the final stage of the Tour De Qazok! The excitement and tension is mounting here as we are waiting for out very own tour leader, Toaster Smith to come in on the last day of the tour. Mikel Lejarreta of the Northern Caesarea team has finished the course in the best time, so Toaster has to finish within 1 minute and 25 seconds to win the 3rd Tour de Qazok! I am standing near the finishing line and can here the cheers in the distance but there is no sign of Toaster yet...(off camera: how longs he got?)...a minute has gone by, has he blown it, theres not long before Lejarreta is crowned..hold on, the crowd are cheering...and YES!, Toaster rounds the final corner! HE'S GOING TO DO IT!!! He's got 20 seconds to finish...19...18...17...16..15..YESSSSSS!!! He's won the tour! What an amazing result! He's already been swamped by friends and supporters and press members, he looks absolutely shattered! I'll try and get a word...TOASTER...TOASTER!, IT'S LIZ, TOAST TV. HOW DOES IT FEEL TO WIN THIS TOUR?

Toaster: Brilliant Liz, its the greatest win of my life...I'm knackered...I can't believe it! It hasn't really sunk in yet to be honest...I have to thank the whole team, Chris and of course Elly...what a performance...amazing!

Liz: Thanks Toaster! Well, he's been whisked off...champagne corks are popping all around me, Of course, he also finished climbing champion and Elly Bean was Sprinting Champion, so it has been a clean sweep for the Toast Team! A historical day in Random Toast Cycling History! Now back to the studio for an in depth look at the whole tour...