NationStates Jolt Archive

Vladimir Khernynko, the Elleltian Ambassador opened the offices of the Elleltian UN mission and awaited his guests to arrive.

Caviar was there, Borscht was their, the famous liquors of Ellelt (Sperkyska Vodka, Ziberian Jack) were all there.

Everything was ready for a grand old time, Elleltian Style.

Alexander Serpov the President of the Council of Ministers, General Secretary of the Communist Party and Generalissimo of the Elleltian People's Liberation Army patently awaited for the guests to arrive as well and put on a gramophone record of the Elleltian National Anthem. Truly, Serpov thought, music that stirred the soul, well it would, if he believed in the soul.

Serpov, and the Delegation staff stood at attention during the playing of the national anthem...The Hymn of the United Socialist States of Ellelt, while the honor guard from the People's Liberation Army brought in the Embassy Colors into the offices.


*official English translation*
United forever in friendship and labor,
Our mighty States will ever endure.
The great Elleltian Union will live through the ages.
The dream of the people their fortress secure.

Long live our Socialist Motherland,
built by the people's mighty hand.
Long live our People, united and free.
Strong in our friendship tried by fire.
Long may our crimson flag inspire,
Shining in glory for all men to see.

Through days dark and stormy where Great Serpov led us
Our eyes saw the bright sun of freedom above
and the Party, our leaders, with faith in the People,
Inspired us to build up the land that we love.

Long live our Socialist Motherland,
built by the people's mighty hand.
Long live our People, united and free.
Strong in our friendship tried by fire.
Long may our crimson flag inspire,
Shining in glory for all men to see.

We fought for the future, destroyed the tyrants,
and brought to our homeland the Laurels of Freedom.
Our glory will live in the memory of nations
and all generations will Honor her name.

Long live our Socialist Motherland,
built by the people's mighty hand.
Long live our People, united and free.
Strong in our friendship tried by fire.
Long may our crimson flag inspire,
Shining in glory for all men to see.

Christelle Zyryanov (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Christelle_Zyryanov) and her secretary Kim Min-Sun (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Kim_Min-Sun) knocked, then pushed open the unlocked door and walked in. They were wearing casual clothing; "proletarian" would not have felt right, as representatives of a now classless society.

Min looked slightly intimidated when she saw they were the first to arrive. Despite the request for guests to eshew formalism, the atmosphere seemed very formal: the national anthem, the flag, honour guards, people standing to attention...

The expression on Christelle's face was neutral but pleasant. She looked round at those present, and nodded politely in greeting as the anthem came to an end.

"If I'd known you had a gramophone, Ambassador Khernynko, I'd have brought a record of the Ariddian Red Army choir."

Vladimir, shook the hand of the Ambassador from Ariddia.

"Well, I hope the opening ceremony didn't seem overly formal, but Comrade Serpov insisted upon it...He likes showing off our new weapons for some reason, and will use any excuse to do so."

He led the Ambassador to where the General Secretary was sitting drinking a vodka and commenting to Brunzov who was in his Dress Uniform (which he considered casual) "I cant help but cry when I hear that song, comrade. The progress we have made in such a short time...Zystev tells me that within ten years all of the wooden plows will have been replaced by tractors."

"Indeed, Comrade Serpov." Brunzov replied.

"Comrade Serpov," Khernynko broke into the conversation, "I would like to introduce the Arriddian Ambassador, Christelle Zyryanov and her secretary Kim Min-Sun."

Serpov rose from his seat, and took the Ambassador's Hand. "A pleasure to meet you Comrade Zyryanov and you as well Comrade Min-Sun. We hope to have closer relations with the Communist nations of the UN in the future." The General Secretary said.

"We have refreshments of course and I believe that Comrade Petrovich has set up a series of various photographs of our country. I believe that they have captions explaining them in English, Russian, German and Elleltian. The one immediately to my left is the Krimlin, which is our government's administrative center" Serpov said pointing to the only photograph that did not have a caption and was hung on the malachite wall with sticky gum so that It could be removed easily. "During the middle-ages the Tsars used it as a fortress, but we use it today to house the Supreme Soviet, National Party Headquarters, and the most sensitive of the Ministries including the Foreign Ministry, Ministry of Defense, and also the administrative headquarters of the Cheka."

Christelle shook the Elleltians' hands, and looked over the photographs with interest.

"Indeed. I know too little about Ellelt. I'd be fascinated to hear more." She turned to look at both Khernynko and the General Secretary. "And yes, I believe my country would be very interested in closer relations with yours. As things are at present, we have no diplomatic relations whatsoever... a situation my government would be pleased to rectify."

Vladimir Khernynko was the one to answer, "As it stands right now Madam Ambassador we do not have diplomatic relations outside of the ACS region if one does not count the UN delegation. We have been rather busy working on securing the Socialist Revolution in our homeland before engaging in International politics."

"Ah." Christelle nodded. "All in good time, I suppose, Comrade Ambassador. Ensuring the success of socialist policies in your homeland is of course a priority."

She glanced over at Min, who was looking rather uncomfortable. Her secretary looked towards the door, perhaps hoping someone else would turn up.

Christelle turned to Khernynko again.
"I hope all is well in Ellelt?"

"I am sure they will come eventually Comrade Ambassador, and if they dont its not that big of a deal to us, really." Vladimir Khernynko said, "We are rather isolationistic at the momement."

After waiting politely for the music to stop, the Altanari delegation (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Altanar_UN_Mission) walked up to the front. "Thank you for inviting us....I trust we're not late?" Jaris Krytellin said.

Christelle wondered for a moment what Khernynko was responding to, then she realised he must have followed Min's gaze to the door.

"Well, this is one way for you to... open up a little to foreign nations, isn't it?" she commented pleasantly, indicating the office around them. She looked over at the door as the delegation from Altanar entered, and smiled at them. She thought she heard Min let out a discreet sigh of relief.

"Oh yes, the UN opening party is hoped to break some ice in the UN. Also being admitted to UN DEFCON will help as well." Vladimir Khernynko said to the Ariddian Ambassador.

Vladimir walked up tho the Altinari Ambassador. "Welcome Ambassador Krytellin, no you are not late, we were just finishing up the opening ceremony. Comrade Serpov loves to show off the military hardware you know."

"Thank you, Ambassador Khernynko...we're happy to meet your delegation outside the GA floor for once," Jaris smiled.

<whine>

"I don't care what the Kennyite ambassador said to you, or what you said to the Kennyite ambassador," insisted Dicey Reilly, nearing the end of her tether. "We're working, right? And working means turning up at office parties, right?"

<whine>

"So what if they're communists? We're socialists. Look, you're doing political science in your degree, aren't you?"

Her reluctant intern nodded. Reluctantly.

"Okay, then, I'll dumb it down. We agree with this lot that governments should do good things for their citizens, even when some of the citizens don't want the good things. Where we part company is, if too many of our citizens don't want it, we'll stop. They don't."

That was rather good, she thought. But intern Avaya Thibaudeaux, from all the experience of her almost-20 years, looked unconvinced. Dicey tried again.

"It's like in a family, all the kids start out from more or less the same background, but when they grow up they're different. But they're still family. And you sort of expect things from your family that you don't expect from anyone else, even your friends. And when you don't get it, you get madder than you would if it was just your friends."

Avaya, who was an only child, tried to look as if she understood. Dicey Reilly, Co-President of Ardchoille, who thought she'd done quite a good job of explaining her nation's position in the spectrum of international lefties, sighed. Bast, who had tagged along silently but eagerly, lured by rumours of Beluga caviar, purred loudly.

An elegant, auburn-haired, curly-headed and somewhat less than sober, witch; a human-sized magical Cat; and someone swathed in layers of drapery, who might well be a second, younger witch; the Ardchoille delegation girded itself for a perfectly friendly visit to a perfectly friendly brother nation.

"And nobody mention Trotsky!" Dicey hissed, entering the imposing offices.

Meritania Garrote (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11969898&postcount=9) has finally found the right office. At least the song being played suggested it was the right one. She strode into the office and over to the Elleltian Ambassador. "Howdy! I'm Meritania Garrote, the Minister of Hospitality of HotRodia." She smiled, then added, "It's a lovely party you have here."

Camryn Langdon, Ambassador of Drae Nei, and her Deputy, Elliot Burnham stepped into the suite, looking for their host, Ambassador Khernynko. He'd been kind enough to attend their Open House earlier in the week, and although Cami hadn't had the opportunity to chat with him that night, she did want to thank him.

She spotted Dicey Reilly, apparently in the middle of a rant, and decided that a drink was in order before she attempted diplomatic relations.

Vladimir Khernynko was busy shaking hands and introducing the Ambassadors, Representatives, etc and their staff to General Secretary Serpov, and his secretary Demitri.

"We are so glad you all came! Please make yourselves at home, except where the guards are standing next to those huge doors with the Elleltian Coat of Arms those are secure areas." Vladimir said pointing to large oaken doors that were set flush with the malachite walls and were reflected by the white marble floor. "No offense to anyone but they like to use those sharp pointy things on their Ak-47's more then their Ak-47's themselves, and having seen someone on the end of one of those during the revolution...let me assure you that we take security very seriously.

"My secretary's wife, Comrade Olga Petrovich" he said pointing out a very attractive but very pregnant female, "has cooked us all many sumptuous treats from our homeland. The purple colored soup with the meat is Borscht, we have our famous caviar, cabbage and sausage, our famous black bread. And of course vodka, Ziberian Jack and several Elleltian produced beers for those who wish to refrain from the 'hard stuff'.

"And of course Demitri here" Vladimir said indicating a thin young man in his early twenties, "has provided many photographs of our homeland, Including the Krimlin, our latest feat of engineering the New Stalingrad Metro--indeed that has many fine works of art in it, mostly paintings of famous comrades and revolutionary heroes."

{Image of the Elleltian Seal}

http://i130.photobucket.com/albums/p254/aiserpov/su.gif

Vladimir, walked over to the Ambassador from Drae Nei. "Ambassador Langdon, I am honored that you came. I trust the Caviar was to your satisfaction?" He said before making his way over to the Hotrodian representative.

"Evening Madam, we trust that our warm hospitality will counter the impression of our cold formality on the General Assembly floor. Indeed Elleltian hospitality must be warm for our climate is very cold."

{Image of the Elleltian Flag}
http://i130.photobucket.com/albums/p254/aiserpov/vladmiristak.jpg

"Thanks be to Herself, they haven't got a receiving line," Dicey commented sotto voce as the delegation entered. "You'll often find, Avaya, that these nations that have just had their revolution go in for formality bigtime. But this lot seem reasonably relaxed."

Not half as 'relaxed' as you are, ma'am.

Dicey may have caught the tail-end of Avaya's thought -- she was, after all, highly Talented -- or perhaps it was just coincidence that her next comment echoed her intern's thoughts.

"The trouble with party-hopping like this is, you have to drink a fair bit, just to seem polite," she mused. "And if you drink a lot, you have to make sure you know where the Ladies is. In every set of offices. Because there's nothing worse than standing round in a receiving line, and then, just as you've almost reached the hosts, you've gotta go -- of course, telekinesis solves the problem for us, but it must be difficult for non-magical humans ..."

"The uisquebaugh, ma'am," Avaya interrupted desperately, before her mentor could subject her to a lecture on telekinetic toileting. "I had several cases sent on ahead, as you suggested, but I thought you might like to present this bottle personally to General Secretary Serpov. Or the Ambassador. As a symbol, sort of." And please, Goddess, don't let her drop it.

"Perhaps I might do that," Bast intervened, grabbing the bottle of Old 'n' Funky '82 before Dicey's hand could waver towards it. "After all, we d on't know anything about these people. If they don't accept other sapient species, we may as well find out now, before we get too mixed up with them. And I imagine encountering me with a presentation bottle of uisquebaugh should give sufficient indication of their attitudes." He gestured, with justified pride, at his sleek and undeniably feline self.

"We'll soon know, anyway," he continued, "the Comrade Ambassador seems to be working the room like a pro, and he's getting closer by the minute."

"Plezhur t'meetcha here on y'r home ground."

"Not yet, Dicey! Wait till he notices us!"

Vladimir Khernynko approached the Ardchoillian delegation.

"I trust ladies everything is to your satisfaction. I couldn't help but over hear about not knowing if we recognize other sentient species. We have encountered them in the UN and Ellelt is prepared with opening diplomatic relations, up to and including opening an embassy in their homelands--provided of course a human can survive the conditions of their environment. Indeed we have recently acquired a military representative on the Clulichstani Death Star, and although we have yet to encounter a non-human species there It is probably only a matter of time before we do as we are also working on a space program, and we are aware of a species of sentient dolphins--although we do not have formal diplomatic relations with them yet."

Bast admired Cluichstani diplomacy. It was so straightforward: reward with the CESPL or punish with the Death Star. Other humans, in his opinion, would do well to adopt such a feline approach to life.

However, that wasn't going to happen any time soon. So, aside from wondering which of the two pressures had drawn in the Elleltians, he abandoned speculation and purred briefly to greet the Ambassador.

"Well, as a terrestrial member of a non-human species, let me say it is a great pleasure to encounter such openness," he said warmly. "It gives an extra dimension to the enjoyment my colleagues and I feel in being here to welcome you to the UN. Allow me to introduce our Co-President, Ms Dicey Reilly; our youngest member, Ms Avaya Thibaudet; and I am Bast, Feline Advisor to the Presidency."

Cut the lagniappe and give him the grog!

"In token of our welcome," continued Bast smoothly, ignoring the telepathic interruption, "we have arranged the delivery of a dozen crates of our national drink, uisquebaugh, known commercially as Old 'n' Funky. I invite you, Ambassador, to join me in a toast: to the continued prosperity of our nations, and to the development of friendship between them!"

Two crystal glasses appeared in his hand. Deftly he filled them and gave one to the Ambassador, downed the other in one appreciative gulp, and looked wildly around.

Dicey! They don't have a fireplace!

Smash it on the marble floor, then, idiot!

You're not so think as I drunk you are, are you?

People are often indiscreet in front of drunks. Now smash the thing!

Making a ceremony of the action, Bast raised his glass above his head and flung it to the floor. It disintegrated most satisfactorily.

"It's traditional," he explained. "When a toast that important is drunk, the glass is smashed afterwards to ensure that it is never put to any lesser use."

Thoughtfully, he magically disappeared the fragments.

"So. you haven't met the dolphins yet, Ambassador Khernynko?" he enquired. "Whatever relationship you develop with them, I can assure you it won't be in the least bit formal. They're well known for their, ah, informal terminology."

"He means, they swear a lot," said Dicey, deciding to put an end to the Cat's shilly-shallying. "Tell me, Ambassador, are you enjoying your posting so far?"

Vladimir Khernynko drank the "Old n' Funky" and then smashed the glass. It was indeed funky to his taste but his face remained one of impassiveness.

"We accept your gift with grace. Well we have heard that those dolphins do tend to have foul mouths but I assure you its nothing that I haven't heard from the mouth of my own leader. He is known for his um--colorful metaphors."

Suddenly an Elleltian who had not been noticed approached the Ambassadors and swept up the glass.

"Don't mind Andre, he cant talk to you unless you know the Elleltian National Sign Language. It was my specific order that the Embassy clean-up staff be Deaf and Mute.

"And Yes, I am enjoying my post. Not as much as I enjoyed my old job in the Cheka, although probably not as much as Comrade Brunzov is enjoying his stay organizing our UN DEFCON office on the Cluichstani Death Star."

"Well ... ah ... to each his own, I always say."

Dicey was experiencing that overwhelmingly flummoxed feeling she always got when someone went military on her. Comrade Brunzov .. enjoying organising an office ... a DEFCON office on the Death Star, no less. Any moment now she'd be dragged off to admire some weapons. Or meet some general who would re-fight the last war. She couldn't take any more.

"Bast is, of course, our expert in that area," she said sweetly. "Mine is more in the cultural field. I wonder, would you mind if I looked more closely at some of those magnificent works on the wall?"

There was a rather nice-looking, achingly young official over there already. Perhaps he could wrench her impressionable intern's wandering mind from the clearly less than suitable Kennyite ambassador. Summoning Avaya with a lifted eyebrow, she drifted away with polite protestations of goodwill.

"The Death Star, eh?" said Bast, diplomatically. "Amazing piece of work,that, amazing ... but," he continued, remembering something he had read in a briefing document, or possibly in some waiting-room magazine, "not as amazing as what I understand you are doing with some of your public works undertakings."

He tilted his head interrogatively, hoping to hear more of the new nation's engineering feats. The Cats were engineering tragics; until the coming of the humans, they had done all construction by magic alone. The discovery of science, particularly physics and mathematics, had thrown them into an intellectual frenzy. Even now, hundreds of yeas later, the Cats still provided most members of the Corps of Engineers.

For this party, Cami had foregone the ceremonial dress, and was wearing a simple dark gray suit; pants, jacket, and a blue collared blouse. Elliot was in business attire as usual, this time a navy blue suit, with a light blue shirt, and navy and white striped tie.

They stopped by the bar and picked up drinks, then walked around the office suite, examining the photographs of Ellelt.

Janice Jacbos had managed to get Grand Utoy Stewey back to his hotel room and changed into some a little more simple for the Ellelt Party- a dark green suit, black shirt and dark blue tie. She had donned a simple forest green, and navy blue peasant dress from the Wannabe province.

As they entered, Grand Utoy Stewey cradled a bottle of Nadia Blue Wine to present to the Ellelt Delegation in honour of their Office Opening. They paused at the door, and Grand Utoy Stewey, whispered to his Secretary, "No tossing oranges or anything at me here... not sure they'd appreciate it... of course, they may enjoy the sight of a Sovereign Ruler acting a Court Jester. hehehe"

Ms Jacobs winked at Grand Utoy Stewey and responded, "Don't worry, Mike- I won't." Giving a quick look around, she quickly stood on tip toe again, and gave Grand Utoy Stewey a kiss on the cheek, "You do look handsome tonight, Mike." She grinned at the blush that came to his cheek, and his hand coming up to fiddle with his tie.

Then they approached Comrade Vladimir Khernynko and Bast. Grand Utoy Stewey bowed politely, "Comrade Khernynko, on behalf of The Dominon of Steweystan, may I have the honour of presenting your delegation with this bottle of Nadia Blue Wine, made in the Nadia province of my homeland." Bowing again, this time low so that he was in a position symbolizing subordinance to his host as he presented the bottle...

Janice Jacbos had managed to get Grand Utoy Stewey back to his hotel room and changed into some a little more simple for the Ellelt Party- a dark green suit, black shirt and dark blue tie. She had donned a simple forest green, and navy blue peasant dress from the Wannabe province.

As they entered, Grand Utoy Stewey cradled a bottle of Nadia Blue Wine to present to the Ellelt Delegation in honour of their Office Opening. They paused at the door, and Grand Utoy Stewey, whispered to his Secretary, "No tossing oranges or anything at me here... not sure they'd appreciate it... of course, they may enjoy the sight of a Sovereign Ruler acting a Court Jester. hehehe"

Ms Jacobs winked at Grand Utoy Stewey and responded, "Don't worry, Mike- I won't." Giving a quick look around, she quickly stood on tip toe again, and gave Grand Utoy Stewey a kiss on the cheek, "You do look handsome tonight, Mike." She grinned at the blush that came to his cheek, and his hand coming up to fiddle with his tie.

Then they approached Comrade Vladimir Khernynko and Bast. Grand Utoy Stewey bowed politely, "Comrade Khernynko, on behalf of The Dominon of Steweystan, may I have the honour of presenting your delegation with this bottle of Nadia Blue Wine, made in the Nadia province of my homeland." Bowing again, this time low so that he was in a position symbolizing subordinance to his host as he presented the bottle...

Vladimir Khernynko took the bottle of wine. "The pleasure is all mine. Please let me introduce you to my superior, General Secretary Serpov." he said introducing an older Elleltian man with a red goatee. "This here is Demitri, whom I believe you already know. And this Is comrade Brunzov of the Ministry of Defense. Please make yourselves at home."

"Thank you, and a pleasure you meet you Comrades. I must say I have been much impressed by your staff's presence on the General Assembly floor."

"We try Grand Utoy." Khernynko said.

Serpov was sitting in his chair mildly impressed with Khernyko. He was indeed the right man to be the Elleltian Ambassador, the way he worked the room with dignified grace. Accepted tokens of friendship and toasts. Truly a remarkable comrade, but Serpov was growing bored with all this nice nice diplomacy stuff. He was craving his favorite entertainment, watching the genetically engineered Sheep-boy make an ass of himself in public.

Khernynko had told him about his observations at the opening party for the Drae Nei offices and how there was such lively entertainment there. Really Khernynko could be so boring. He wasn't always this boring, but he had been ever since his boyfriend Boris had died during the revolution.

Serpov beaconed the young Petrolovich to him.

"Comrade, we have Sheep-boy ready?" Serpov said.

"Yes, Comrade General Secretary...but this will probably scandalize the UN, Comrade." The young aide said.

"I don't care, I'm bored off my ass. Bring sheep-boy in...I want to see what he will try to eat." The General Secretary said with a smirk.

Demitri rushed off to take his wife away to prevent her from being accosted by the genetic mutant that the Gensec kept as a pet. Being that his wife Olga was extremely pregnant she needed to sit down anyway and what better place than the secretary's office.

The guards admitted the two Elleltians behind the oaken doors quickly and then Demitri left just as fast from the office and departed to get the surprise the Gensec had brought with him from the homeland.

After about five minutes Demitri Petrovich re-entered the Elleltian embassy.

"Comrade Serpov, You had something to say to comrade Khernynko?" he said.

Serpov stood the arthritis already paining him. "Yes, Khernynko!" he said interrupting the conversation he was having with the ruler of Steweystan.

"Yes, Comrade Serpov?" the ambassador said turning to his superior.

"I brought along a special guest for our friends entertainment." Serpov said and then shot Khernynko a smirk.

"Oh dear Lenin no you didn't!" Khernynko said.

"Oh yes I did, and Lenin had nothing to do with this one, just boredom. Foreign Delegates, Ladies, and Gentlemen...I present to you Ellelt's famous entertainer to the Politburo, and sometimes papershreader....Sheep-Boy!" He said in his loud and booming voice, the reason he could orate a crowd into a fevered pitch of love or hate depending on his purpose.

The double doors to the embassy from the hallway opened and flanked by two soldiers was a half-sheep, half-man thing.

"I promise Khernyyyyynkooooo, I woooont be baaaaaaahd!" the thing said.

Khernynko rolled his eyes at the thing knowing that promise to be a bold face lie. "Just don't eat your id badge or i will never be able to get you out of here." Khernynko said.