NationStates Jolt Archive


Spoons, Etc. [CLOSED, ATTN ZMI]

Khrrck
24-09-2006, 04:34
ZMI customs outpost CL 141, Megacity 1

"Hey, Kenny."

"What?"

"What's with these crates? Says 7 of 27 on this one, but there's only 26 crates."

"Lemme check.

"Defense confiscated number 27 for some reason. Something about it having been tampered with. Are these ones OK?"

"Yeah, the scanner says they're just carbon composite spoons, like it says on the box."

"Who the fuck makes spoons out of carbon composite, anyway?"

"I dunno. Aerospace engineers? People who hate breaking spoons? They're dirt cheap, I know that."

"They're from some extrasolar company. Says Kaha Household Goods Ltd. on the box."

"Well, whatever. Send 'em on. We've got a backlog to deal with."

******

ZMI Customs Quarantine, Orbit

The bland plastic cube that was crate #27 floated placidly in the void. It had been abducted from a megafreighter on approach to Megacity a few hours ago, and ever since it had floated here, placidly, its innocent appearance not betraying the deadly assemblage of high explosives and heavy isotopes within.

Afterwards, nobody was quite sure what had triggered it. Perhaps it was a faint whisper of gravitics from a passing starship - perhaps the timer had simply run out.

Regardless, the crate began to tick. In space, there was nobody and nothing that could hear it, but it ticked nonetheless.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Forty kilotons of force scattered the crate across the width of the ZMI holding area. Nothing but dust remained.

In time, even the dust was gone. Nothing would remain to contaminate Earth orbit.

******

"...And in other news, yet another terrorist attack was thwarted by the brave men, women, and constructs of the ZMI defence..."

******

Prank call.

This is only a test. If this had been a real emergency, you would be dead by now...

click

Damn kids.
Khrrck
11-11-2006, 22:19
"This just in: Spoons across ZMI spontaneously decompose. Analysis of the debris reveals it to be inert. Kaha Household Goods, Ltd., manufacturer of the spoons in question, was unreachable for a statement."

[OOC: Bounty's gone... Kara's got other things to do.]