NationStates Jolt Archive

Across the Orion Spur, and throughout the Sol System, a message was seen on all ships listening to their broadband communications receivers:


OPEN BROADBAND COMMUNICATIONS
FROM THE IMPERIAL AUTHORITY OF NEW HAVEN

To all bounty hunters of the Orion Spur (for those of you that don't read maps, that includes Sol), the Imperium of New Haven has an offer for you! Due to recent dishonorable acts performed by ZMI, the Imperium wishes to repay such attacks on its allies by fighting fire with fire.

Five trillion Universal Standard Dollars worth of Platinum (138,000 tons) will be given to the first bounty hunter (or bounty hunter group) that retreives the Gestalt of ZMI, dead or alive. Additional funds will be provided for resourcefulness in fulfilling this goal (up to double the original bounty). Funds will also be dispersed if the Gestalt is completely annihilated, provided that proper evidence be given and processed by the Imperial Department of Justice.

A note to certain bounty hunters: Affilitation with Hermes blacklisted countries will automatically disqualify you from collecting the bounty unless extenuating circumstances are given.

Contact the Imperial Authority of New Haven once the bounty operation has been successfully performed and reap the profits ASAP!

Isis, a moon in the Mictlan System

Sarumad watched the strange creature he had created snap against the side of the glass, growth fluids splashing over the sides of the beaker. “There there,” he said, tutting to himself, dropping a piece of synthetic human flesh into the beaker. “I’ll find a place for you yet…” he said, and turned his attention to the paper, as the creature became invisible as it munched on the flesh.

Newspapers weren’t exactly common, but Sarumad had lots of space since his former-neighbours had forced him to move to Isis, where the explosions wouldn’t ‘disturb the peace’ or harm anyone. He had lots of space, and so had his own printing press, that made newspapers into… proper newspapers.

Page fourteen.

Reward offered for the capture of the Gestalt of ZMI. Interesting, very interesting.

White lab coat fluttering, Sarumad scooted over to a gene sequencer, where his latest build of creature was coming along nicely.

Perhaps he could claim this, he thought as he punched a number of buttons on the gene-sequencer, making the product’s teeth a little sharper, and adding a fifth leg so that it could leap better.

He scuttled over to the desk where he put his files, and began typing on an antiquated keyboard he’d modified to include its own projector and computational units, glancing briefly up at the wide variety of internet diploma-mill certificates decorating his wall. Three hundred and seventy two degrees in different fields of study hung there.

From: Sarumad M. Kill-death, PhD.
To: The Imperial Authority, New Haven.

I would like to take up your offer. I have some contacts within ZMI, and I think that I may be able to procure the members of the Gestalt with minimal fuss. I hope you do not mind if they are transmuted to contra-terrene in the process? They will nevertheless be delivered quite intact… Will I still be paid if I am only able to get some members of the Gestalt?

Yours,
Sarumad Kill-Death
Architect of the Science of Our New Age


Sarumad cackled insanely, and began more correspondence, now addressed to some other associates, in Zeppelin Manufactures Industries. They talked about how he planned to thwart this plan for them, by providing his latest generation of near-invincible creatures as guardians, among other things.

Behind him, in the beaker, the strange creation gargled, eager for more food…

.


quantum encrypt mark VIII - 131,072 bit key

secure channel established

TO: IMPERIAL AUTHORITY OF NEW HAVEN

I'll be taking care of it. Make sure the cash is on hand. - including the bonus.

-Kara

quantum encrypt mark VIII - 131,072 bit key

secure channel established

TO: Kara

As long as you get it done before anyone else does. If someone beats you to the punch, the money is theirs, so be cautious, but be swift and merciless.

- The Imperial Authority of New Haven


Meanwhile, the Imperial Authority did not consider it even worth replying to Sarumad M. Kill-death, PhD. While the last name was intriguing, the offer did not follow the point the Imperial Authority wanted to make.

Due to current circumstances, the Imperium is rescinding the bounty upon the Gestalt.

Imperatrix Sara I
Imperial Authority of New Haven