Ice Hockey Players
03-08-2006, 15:08
Every summer, the Ice Hockey Players military allows 16 of our best to risk their lives and crippling injury for a chance to be promoted directly to General of the IHP Army, Air Force, or Special Units, or Admiral of the IHP Navy. All those who participate are either the best enlisted personnel or strong NCOs. If only one person remains, that person receives one hundred million pucks, tax-free, and is promoted to General or Admiral depending on his or her branch of the Armed Forces.
Ice Hockey Players hasn't been in a war in close to 70 years, so the military is now an elite branch of discipline, technology, and higher education; all those in college who are in the military receive a salary for their work whereas most college students do not.
The Elite Military Games last 40 days and include the Four Branches Hockey Tournament, this year won by the Navy in a four-game finals sweep over the Army. Various skills are tested, including recon missions, a 100-mile trek in teams of four, and a series of 26 events conducted consecutively in 72 hours by the most elite, hardened members of the Armed Forces. During that time, no food may be consumed and contestants may not sleep.
The crown jewel of the Elite Military Games, however, is a 15-day adventure on Top Shelf Island, an uninhabited region off IHP's north coast. It is full of wildlife, vegetation, and foxholes; some animals and plants are poisonous, and combatants are briefed on this before going in.
Only 16 people are selected, four from each branch. They arrive at different parts of the island carrying only a backpack and the clothes on their backs. The backpack contains a canteen, a hunting knife, flint, a machete, a change of clothes, a cooking pot, a vial containing 75 milliliters of lighter fluid, and three types of guns. One is a semiautomatic hunting rifle with 250 rounds. One is a 9mm with 250 rounds. One is a flare gun, so if a combatant can't handle the pressure and needs to elave, is injured and cannot go on, or has just been poisoned, he or she can signal for help. Medics wearing red crosses will come in; shooting a medic is cause for a dishonorable discharge from the military and a lengthy prison term.
The object of this 15-day trek is to kill, kill, kill. Remember to kill cleanly, though, lest the person being shot is merely wounded. Combatants get a sum of fifty thousand pucks for each kill made; if the medics evacuate a person, no bonus is awarded. Not everyone will likely die or be evacuated before 15 days, so pucks are awarded based on how many people get out alive at the end of the 15th day.
Quitting is extremely looked down upon. Hundreds of NCOs and personnel audition for Life or Death; to quit when others don't get the chance is a dishonor to your branch of the service. Therefore, those who quit and do not show any sign of illness or injury receive no money and are dishonorably discharged from the military; they must also perform 3,000 hours of community service over the next three years or spend 20 years in prison for failure to do so.
Those who evacuate for a documented medical reason are taken care of, though. They receive 25,000 pucks plus an additional 5,000 per day spent on Top Shelf. Most of them quit due to severe injury or a failed kill, and they are either assigned to desk jobs or, if that cannot be done, are given an honorable discharge and paid disability for life. Military doctors, in this regard, are tough about this and will often tell a combatant to stay in the contest unless severely wounded.
Death benefits are paid out in the same manner as injury benefits, except they are doubled and paid to a chosen beneficiary.
Surviving players are paid ten thousand pucks for each fellow combatant who dies or leaves due to injury; if only six remain, each survivor gets 100,000 pucks regardless of why the other ten left. For each person that leaves after six remain, each survivor gets another 100,000 pucks until only two remain. If two remain, each survivor gets 500,000 pucks and an automatic promotion to Lieutenent Colonel (Commander if in the Navy.)
As of yet, no one has won the grand prize or been promoted to General because of the game; two years ago, though, three people survived and were all promoted to Major of their respective branches (two Special Units and one Air Force...all four Army members had targets on their backs from day one and were all shot and killed.) Staff Sergeant Lawrence Smithers was promoted to Major and, shortly after, became a Major General by merit. He never got his hundred million pucks, though.
The results are not revealed until the fall, when they are broadcast as the nation's highest-rated reality show, "Life or Death." Presently, the military is shopping the show overseas to other networks as well. All surviving soldiers are put into sequester for that time, released only at the reunion show; the outcome is guaranteed to be a mystery, and those who would spoil it are punished harshly.
All combatants are known either by nicknames given to them during their service or by assigned commando names; most carry their nicknames. Please note that all combatants are listed by their nickname, rank, name, age, division, battalion, and company.
From the Ice Hockey Players Army:
"Cobra" Specialist Harlan Williams, 21, 3rd division, 1st regiment, 5th battalion, November company
"Iceman" Staff Sergeant Harry Lemieux, 23, 2nd division, 2nd regiment, 1st battalion, Bravo company
"Hammer" Corporal Dick Schulz, 19, 4th division, 3rd regiment, 2nd battalion, Foxtrot company
"Mongoose" Private Thomas Windemere, 18, 6th division, 4th regiment, 3rd battalion, Kilo company
From the Ice Hockey Players Navy:
"Piranha" Petty Officer Third Class Ronald Boyer, 24, 2nd fleet
"Skull" Petty Officer Second Class Gord Messerly, 22, 1st fleet
"Thunder" Seaman John Falken, 18, 4th fleet
"Cannon" Warrant Officer Mitchell Dussendorf, 39, 3rd fleet
From the Ice Hockey Players Air Force:
"Bomber" Master Sergeant Henry Richard, 27, 2nd division, 3rd regiment, 1st battalion
"Ace" Airman First Class Robert McLeod, 21, 3rd division, 1st regiment, 3rd battalion
"Platinum" Senior Airman Devin Delmer, 24, 1st division, 3rd regiment, 1st battalion
"Stealth" Technical Sergeant Maurice Clancy, 25, 2nd division, 2nd regiment, 4th battalion
From the Ice Hockey Players Special Units:
"Timberwolf" Corporal Ray Gunnar, 20, Marine Corps, 2nd division, 4th regiment, 3rd battalion, Charlie company
"Nitro" Gunnery Sergeant Harrison Keeler, 23, Ranger Unit, 2nd regiment, 1st battalion, Hotel company
"Rocketman" Private First Class Jim Rockett, 19, SEAL Unit, 1st regiment, 2nd battalion, Echo company
"Vulture" Private Steve Rogers, 20, Delta Force, 3rd regiment, 1st battalion, Alpha company
Early betting is on the members of the Special Units, as at least one Special Unit member has remained standing in every contest but one. However, Platinum and Iceman are drawing speculation as well, and Cannon is the oldest person to play in five years. Place your bets now!
Ice Hockey Players hasn't been in a war in close to 70 years, so the military is now an elite branch of discipline, technology, and higher education; all those in college who are in the military receive a salary for their work whereas most college students do not.
The Elite Military Games last 40 days and include the Four Branches Hockey Tournament, this year won by the Navy in a four-game finals sweep over the Army. Various skills are tested, including recon missions, a 100-mile trek in teams of four, and a series of 26 events conducted consecutively in 72 hours by the most elite, hardened members of the Armed Forces. During that time, no food may be consumed and contestants may not sleep.
The crown jewel of the Elite Military Games, however, is a 15-day adventure on Top Shelf Island, an uninhabited region off IHP's north coast. It is full of wildlife, vegetation, and foxholes; some animals and plants are poisonous, and combatants are briefed on this before going in.
Only 16 people are selected, four from each branch. They arrive at different parts of the island carrying only a backpack and the clothes on their backs. The backpack contains a canteen, a hunting knife, flint, a machete, a change of clothes, a cooking pot, a vial containing 75 milliliters of lighter fluid, and three types of guns. One is a semiautomatic hunting rifle with 250 rounds. One is a 9mm with 250 rounds. One is a flare gun, so if a combatant can't handle the pressure and needs to elave, is injured and cannot go on, or has just been poisoned, he or she can signal for help. Medics wearing red crosses will come in; shooting a medic is cause for a dishonorable discharge from the military and a lengthy prison term.
The object of this 15-day trek is to kill, kill, kill. Remember to kill cleanly, though, lest the person being shot is merely wounded. Combatants get a sum of fifty thousand pucks for each kill made; if the medics evacuate a person, no bonus is awarded. Not everyone will likely die or be evacuated before 15 days, so pucks are awarded based on how many people get out alive at the end of the 15th day.
Quitting is extremely looked down upon. Hundreds of NCOs and personnel audition for Life or Death; to quit when others don't get the chance is a dishonor to your branch of the service. Therefore, those who quit and do not show any sign of illness or injury receive no money and are dishonorably discharged from the military; they must also perform 3,000 hours of community service over the next three years or spend 20 years in prison for failure to do so.
Those who evacuate for a documented medical reason are taken care of, though. They receive 25,000 pucks plus an additional 5,000 per day spent on Top Shelf. Most of them quit due to severe injury or a failed kill, and they are either assigned to desk jobs or, if that cannot be done, are given an honorable discharge and paid disability for life. Military doctors, in this regard, are tough about this and will often tell a combatant to stay in the contest unless severely wounded.
Death benefits are paid out in the same manner as injury benefits, except they are doubled and paid to a chosen beneficiary.
Surviving players are paid ten thousand pucks for each fellow combatant who dies or leaves due to injury; if only six remain, each survivor gets 100,000 pucks regardless of why the other ten left. For each person that leaves after six remain, each survivor gets another 100,000 pucks until only two remain. If two remain, each survivor gets 500,000 pucks and an automatic promotion to Lieutenent Colonel (Commander if in the Navy.)
As of yet, no one has won the grand prize or been promoted to General because of the game; two years ago, though, three people survived and were all promoted to Major of their respective branches (two Special Units and one Air Force...all four Army members had targets on their backs from day one and were all shot and killed.) Staff Sergeant Lawrence Smithers was promoted to Major and, shortly after, became a Major General by merit. He never got his hundred million pucks, though.
The results are not revealed until the fall, when they are broadcast as the nation's highest-rated reality show, "Life or Death." Presently, the military is shopping the show overseas to other networks as well. All surviving soldiers are put into sequester for that time, released only at the reunion show; the outcome is guaranteed to be a mystery, and those who would spoil it are punished harshly.
All combatants are known either by nicknames given to them during their service or by assigned commando names; most carry their nicknames. Please note that all combatants are listed by their nickname, rank, name, age, division, battalion, and company.
From the Ice Hockey Players Army:
"Cobra" Specialist Harlan Williams, 21, 3rd division, 1st regiment, 5th battalion, November company
"Iceman" Staff Sergeant Harry Lemieux, 23, 2nd division, 2nd regiment, 1st battalion, Bravo company
"Hammer" Corporal Dick Schulz, 19, 4th division, 3rd regiment, 2nd battalion, Foxtrot company
"Mongoose" Private Thomas Windemere, 18, 6th division, 4th regiment, 3rd battalion, Kilo company
From the Ice Hockey Players Navy:
"Piranha" Petty Officer Third Class Ronald Boyer, 24, 2nd fleet
"Skull" Petty Officer Second Class Gord Messerly, 22, 1st fleet
"Thunder" Seaman John Falken, 18, 4th fleet
"Cannon" Warrant Officer Mitchell Dussendorf, 39, 3rd fleet
From the Ice Hockey Players Air Force:
"Bomber" Master Sergeant Henry Richard, 27, 2nd division, 3rd regiment, 1st battalion
"Ace" Airman First Class Robert McLeod, 21, 3rd division, 1st regiment, 3rd battalion
"Platinum" Senior Airman Devin Delmer, 24, 1st division, 3rd regiment, 1st battalion
"Stealth" Technical Sergeant Maurice Clancy, 25, 2nd division, 2nd regiment, 4th battalion
From the Ice Hockey Players Special Units:
"Timberwolf" Corporal Ray Gunnar, 20, Marine Corps, 2nd division, 4th regiment, 3rd battalion, Charlie company
"Nitro" Gunnery Sergeant Harrison Keeler, 23, Ranger Unit, 2nd regiment, 1st battalion, Hotel company
"Rocketman" Private First Class Jim Rockett, 19, SEAL Unit, 1st regiment, 2nd battalion, Echo company
"Vulture" Private Steve Rogers, 20, Delta Force, 3rd regiment, 1st battalion, Alpha company
Early betting is on the members of the Special Units, as at least one Special Unit member has remained standing in every contest but one. However, Platinum and Iceman are drawing speculation as well, and Cannon is the oldest person to play in five years. Place your bets now!