NationStates Jolt Archive

The Concert Hall in Na~ovi kali was selected as venue of the first NSVision song contest. Na~ovi kali is a beautiful city in the south of Rejistania. It was considered a better place for a competition of music than the loud, hectic and crowded KaMaRi kali.

The stage is made of a hard plastic and below it are lights in different colors, behind the stage is a white canvas, which can be used to show animations to support the performance.

The announcer for this event is radio speaker Hana Kansu, a small (by international standards), black woman with long, curvy hair. She was selected because she speaks English very well and with nearly no accent (except during exciting situations) and looks hot.

"Welcome to the inaugural NSVision Song Contest! Welcome here to set a sign against war and hate and meet in the spirit of fairness and competition! I am glad to see you all here in Na~ovi kali as well as in front of the television! "

The songs in this competition:
Alasdair I Frosticus - Attila and His Honeys - The Belly-Bop Boogie
Bazalonia - Shannia Noll - What About Her?
Chicanada - Tanzen - Come And Get It
Kaze Progressa - Ihaje Murfula - I Guess It Wasn't To Be
Khenas - Jake Sharp - You're Gullible
Martentopis - Fred Ootie - My Martentopis
Oliverry - Jixlut - Youlan a nomuy kubalt
Rejistania - N.Ixi Ni - Itera'il!
Schiavonia - The Usual Suspects - Cheese Song
Swilatia - Duel of the Fates - Escape
The Archregimancy - the Scattered Desert Hermits of the Archregimancy - The Sixth Anathema of the Second Council of Constantinople
Virginia Nova - The Fire Extinguishers - Park Bench
Wentland - Sheikh Yerbouti (And The Harem) - The Sheikh Yerbouti Song

OOC: so how is the Rping done?

OOC-criteria: Everyone signs up with a quick description of the national final. In the RP-thread, later everyone posts the show of his band/artist, the lyrics of the song must be presented. Please do not use cover-versions of existing songs. Later everyone posts the votes with a small description of the process of presenting the votes.


OOC: Basically, you RP the show of your artist, how they danced, what they sung, what went wrong (if anything), how the national fans reacted... These things.

"You're listening to Schia FM, I'm Dave Topp, and welcome to the Concert Hall in Na~ovi kali for the first ever NSVision Song Contest! The place is packed to the rafters with people waving the flags of all the nations taking part. There's a fair Schiavone contingent here tonight shouting for our boys, the Usual Suspects, and if the world has any taste in music, we shall undoubtedly... er, finish last.

"But before we hand you over to our host broadcaster... it's not RejisCAST is it? It'll never get heard by anyone! Anyway, we interviewed some of tonight's audience from across some of the thirteen nations involved to get their views..."

"Go the Suspects! We love cheese, and after tonight, the world's going to love cheese, too! VIVA SCHIAVONIA!"

"We're shouting for Ihaje tonight, but we'd rather be at home watching Deal or No Deal!"

"FRED, FRED, HE'LL TEAR YOU TO SHREADS!!! Ootie's gonna steal the booty tonight! Nobody else has got a hope!"

"The Archregimancy will win, don't you think? No? HEATHEN!!!"

"Well, that's what tonight's crowd thinks, but it's not up to them. And they can't vote for themselves, anyway. Some use they'd be. Anyway, the lights are coming up, on comes our host Hana Kansu... Phwoarr!!! She's a bit of alright, isn't she? Anyway, on with the show..."

http://img375.imageshack.us/img375/2254/sbc29vj.gif
So the NSVision song contest has begun, wait, no yet, as the first performance is yet to be made. however the place is already packed, with Swilatian flags visible. You can also see flags of all the other participants which are: Alasdair I Frosticus, Bazalonia, Chicanada, Khenas, Martentopis, Oliverry, Rejistania, Schiavonia, Virginia Nova, Wentland, and those religious wackos who's name I cannot pronounce. Why does their name have to be sooooooo long? If our song, Escape, does not at least make it to the final, then it will prove that the world has absolutely no real taste in music. So letas see how the competition will go. And remember, If you don't like Swilatias song you have no taste in music. The fans (of all participants) say:

"The Archregimancy will win. If you disgree your a heretic"

"Go Duel of the Fates! I heard your other songs and hope this one will be good"

"I'd rather be at home watching some comedy thing, but I'm really ecited about this competion"

"The fire extinguishers are the best band ever. seriously"

"GO khenas! you have the funniest song ever!!!"

Welcome to the Singing Bazalope, the show that brings Bazalonia's musical talent to the international stage. Our first contestant... is Shannia Noll, with her song called 'What about her?'

[[OOC: skipping to the end... nope your not getting the words just yet (and yes, they have been written) but i will give you a glimpse into the ending chorus]]

"Now you see, it isn't fair,
but they just ignore her.
What about her.... what about her... what about heeeeeeeer?"

"Let's give a hand to Shannia... Great performance Shannia, what did you think?"

"Look, really, I didn't think I did as well as I could, but generally I'm pleased with the song."

"Well, let's see what the judges thought."

"If that is not your best I just can't wait for perfection. As for me the song was moving, you connected very well with the auidence and it made me think. The choreography was not too extravagent, nor under-done. I think it was just the level the song required, your face said volumes more than mere hand gestures or even most dance steps could ever say. And all I can say is very well done... 8.5" Judge 1

"Yeah there where a few times where phrasing was a problem. You go from the extremes of trying to sing too much in one breath to singing only a few words before taking another breath. That is the thing that you need to work on, if you end up going to Rejistania. Apart from that... well.. I can't fault it. Very well done. 7" Judge 2

"There is not much more I can add... congratulations. 8" Judge 3

"Okay, so now onto our second performer........."

the three other potential performers played but the Scat song wa laughed out of the competition by the judges, "It's all about the computer chip." never impressed the Judges and the last one was so totally forgettable that I have even forgetton it's name.

Needless to say Shannia Noll won 5,000 dollars and an all expenses paid entry into the NSVision Song contest.

Shannia arrived at The Concert Hall in Na~ovi kali, she was nervous but she had proved her worth and now it was just a matter of getting on with the performance.

Rejistani fans N.Ixi Ni fans were "having a homegame" since the first NSVision Song contest is in their home nation. Some have Rejistani flags to wave during the performance, a group of teenagers, who somehow got a card have a sign which says: "Nane, I love you!" in Nane Ixi's native language.

Meanwhile in the room where N.Ixi Ni get ready: Nane Ixi and Nijan Taren were doing what they always do before a show starts: they pray to the gods of Karela for a success. Both musicians are Hanta-Inikresaists. The Rejistanianas then tune their instruments for a second time. You can guess they are nervous by this and indeed, they are. This would be a very bad day to slani something.

"Okay, up now is Fred Ootie from Martentopis, singing crazzzzzzy soccer song My Martentopis. This is the second version of the song, i beleive!"

High-school kid dribbing his world famous soccerball enters the stage and does a few tricks.

"Okay Fred. How ya feelin'?"

"I'm cool. Just worried about that up-coming Junior Soccer League, back in Martentopis. Our first match is like, so hard man. We have to verse the team from Kolving City. They're tough!!"

"Well, whatever Fred. Start your song!" The host turns to the audience. "Let's give a hand for Fred Ootie, singing soccer song, My Martentopis vol. 2!!!"

Fred starts singing, while still doing incredible tricks with his ball.

"Martentopis, My Martentopis!
You are my champioooon!!
We love you, Martentopis,
So much, we'd love to hug you!

Martentopis, My Martentopis!
You are my champioooon!!
We love you, Martentopis,
So much, we'd love to hug you!

Lash that goalie!
hear the fans!
don't get distracted by that roadie
hear the bands!

Shoot a goal
do a foul
kick the ball
every hour!

Martentopis, My Martentopis!
You are my champioooon!!
We love you, Martentopis,
So much, we'd love to hug you!

Martentopis, My Martentopis!
You are my champioooon!!
We love you, Martentopis,
So much, we'd love to hug you!

Martentopis
Hear my cry!
You gotta win this.
Here is why!!!

Martentopis, My Martentopis!
You are my champioooon!!
We love you, Martentopis,
So much, we'd love to hug you!

Martentopis, My Martentopis!
You are my champioooon!!
We love you, Martentopis,
So much, we'd love to hug you!"

A loud cheer rises from most of the audience. The host walks over to fred, who is now kicking the ball furiously into the backstage area (not intending to hit anyone).

"That was nice, Fred. I like the time you were singin' the last verse, and kicked your famous ball into the ceiling , caugth it on your back, flipped it up, kicked it against the wall, untill you finally got it back under your feet. Amazing!! Now let's hear what the judtges have to say!"

"The song was pretty nice... if you're talking about a socce song. I bet it touched a lot of crazy soccer fans' hearts! I'm not sure about how much sense the words have though, but I'm sure that was intetional!" judge 1.

"Yeah, pretty good. But y' see fred, other people exist who don't get touched by soccer, but by basketball. What about them?" judge 2.

judge 3 is already running onto the stage, trying to tackle Fred (but not succeding). After a few minutes, he turns all hot and sweaty, to the audience.

"Quite Brilliant! I say!! It really touched my crazy soccer heart. I hope you make several sequals!! would be great to let all the soccer fans in the world hear! WOOOOOOOO!!! GO SOCCER!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOO!!! YEAH!!"

Eventually the judge falls off the stage.

"Well," says the host. "It's time for our next song!!! Good work fred!!"

"And welcome the Bazalonian entry into NSVision here to the Concert Hall in loverly downtown Na~ovi kali. Let's give it up for Shannia Noll..."

A 25 year old Bazalonian lady walked onto the stage with long brown hair held up with a number of sparkly adournments. The music for her song started behind and so did the imagery behind her.

Theres a woman waiting in the queue of her local bank
She's been waiting all day, waiting in line
she tries to talk but she's shooed away
I look upon her and I say

During the verse a blur of movement in a bank-like building was seen on the canvas. The only person that didn't blur was the woman that is to be featured throughout on the canvas. The 3rd & 4th lines the woman got to a counter but the teller was to busy doing doing her nails and closed the window.... and then frose for the "I look upon her and I say." It then shut down for the chorus...


"What about her? It isn't fair.
Why couldn't they just listen to her.
Now you see, it isn't fair
but they just ignore her.

Theres a woman who's just got a ticket for the thearte
She's been waiting all week waiting for it
but she'd been given one for the wrong show
I look upon her and I say.

for the second verse the name of a really popular Bazalonian thearte show "Flare" was on the board above a generic thearte... A woman was line... but "Some Crap Show" was on the ticket instead of Flare that she asked for. But she didn't lsee the name on the ticket... The lady approached the thearte on the night she thought it was on only to find with embarrasment she had the wrong ticket.


"What about her? It isn't fair.
Why couldn't they just listen to her.
Now you see, it isn't fair
but they just ignore her.

There's a woman, sick, lying in a bed at the Hospital
The Doctors come in and out with saying a thing
and they kick her out but she's dying inside
I look upon her and I say


This clip was from the point of view of the woman in bed.. occasionally a doctor would go past but when they do come in the doctor physically forces her out of the hospital to collapese and die outside of the hospital.


"What about her? It isn't fair.
Why couldn't they just listen to her.
Now you see, it isn't fair
but they just ignore her.

What about her.... What about her... What about heeerrrr...

"Now let's welcome Swilatia to the first Nsvision song contest. Here is the Swilatian rock band Duel of the Fates with the Swilatian entry, Escape"

The band walked onto the stage, and the animation behind the band started, so did their song.

I've been locked in here
Been here for a month
but i've commited no crime
not even put on a trial
but...
ESCAPE! thats what i'll do tonight.
ESCAPE! i don't care if there a fight.
ESCAPE! and hope these guys see the light
During this verse the main character is walking around his cell, it appears as he is trying to come up with an escape plan. everything outside the cell is blurred.
now the time has come
yes the time to get out
as my plan is complete
and the wall's blasted out
so...
ESCAPE! thats what we're doing tonight.
ESCAPE! Though there might be a fight.
ESCAPE! Cuz what they did is not right.
During this verse, the outside of the cell is no longer blurred. a friend of the main character sneaks towards the cell, and blasts away part of the wall. the main character exits the cell through that hole and the two people walk away from the cell, trying to get out of the prison.

we are leaving now
but we are being chased
but we still can get out
just gotta get out quickly
and...
ESCAPE! we are doing it now.
ESCAPE! and you don't ask us how.
ESCAPE! we'll suceed so say wow.
In this scene there is a chase though the prison hallway, the gurads are chasing the main charachter and his friend. they are outside but still within the prison complex at the end of this verse.

though we are outside
how the hell will we leave
oh wait we already know
and were doing it now
cause...
ESCAPE! Thats what we have done now
ESCAPE! Eventhough we did not know how
We have ESCAPEd! (repats last 3 lines, quiter each time and eventually stops)
during this verse the chase coninues, unile the guys climb over the fence and leave, which is at the "cause" part.
OOC; Don't ask me to post the chorus. The is no chorus in this song.

There was a commotion in the green room. Wentland's entry had finally arrived It had missed out on the rehearsals and everyone was wondering how it would go over; the tapes of the Wentland elimiation had mysteriously not been sent to anyone. And no-one could get a bootleg copy. Even nsbay had not come up with anything.

It was some sight. You could not see Sheik Yerbouti. You could see a sedan chair, borne on the shoulders of half-a-dozen Amazons and surrounded by 30-40 scantily clad lovelies.

A floor manager approached. "Where have YOU been? We've been waiting for you..."

One of the lovelies at the front immediately put out her hand. "Silence, infidel! The Sheik speaks to no minion."

The floor manager was astonished. "We have literally DOZENS of people waiting for your performance and nobody has your music. What do you need?"

The spokeslovely announced "we do not need any orchestra. We bear our own instruments. Bring on the remainder of the harem."

And another bunch of bikini-clad lovelies entered with a variety of instruments - some brass, a couple of drums and guitars.

The floor manager stood agape. "Er, well, you're on soon...could you, er, tell his sheikiness to prepare?"

"Very good. The Sheik will condescend to your wishes. Merhaba."

Amongst the chaos of some of the other entries, the minimialist approach of Ihaje Merfula was seen as standing a good chance.

Progressan media sources had suggested Bazalonia, Rejistania and Swilatia as the leading contenders and almost all felt the Progressans would be in the top half of the 13-strong pack but fail to win. 'Ihaje's song is distinctive and haunting enough to gain a very clear following,' said one, 'but the winner will almost certainly be something less minimalist, as this is above all else a spectacle, and the most spectacular stage act will probably prevail'.

Ihaje's stage act was spectacular only in its minimalism. The lights in the background were dimmed to a very deep blue, with just a couple of slightly brighter lights focusing on Ihaje at a black piano and on the string quartet accompanying her. With Progressans being huge game show fans, most were reminded of the Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? lighting on the final few questions.

After a short piano introduction, Ihaje started singing:

I'd come out of the darkness
Your light drew me in
There seemed no way it could fall apart
My thoughts turned irrational
Just like the last time
I should have learned

The lower strings faded in during the first chorus:

But I was blinded by the light again
And the ending was exactly the same
Tears are flooding on my clothes once again
I guess it wasn't to be


The violin and viola then came in afterwards, and the instrumental section was followed by the second verse:

Such a simple mistake to make
I'd made it before
The first impressions carried me away

Midway through the verse, the lower strings came in:

They triggered my dreamy state
Of naivety
Now I wake up


Finally, the longer second chorus had a full string accompaniment, with both the violin and Ihaje's voice soaring at the end:

And find I'm blinded by the light again
And the ending is exactly the same
Tears are flooding on my clothes once again
I guess it wasn't to be
How I got here once again escapes me
But it's not a sight I wanted to see
It's a dream that I was wrong to believe
I guess it wasn't to be


As Ihaje and the violin sustained the final note, what lighting there was faded completely, before reappearing at the end. There certainly wasn't any mess for the organisers to clear up ready for the next act...

The Kaze team exited to rapturous applause. Then the Wentland entry was announced. There was a bit of frisson in the crowd as no-one had seen the entry.

The lights turned vaguely orange as a troupe of bikini-clad lovelies entered the stage, some with instruments. A fanfare sounded. Is this part of the song? There was a lot of oohing and aahing from the stage as a full orchestra kicked in with what sounded like a triumphal march, as a surfeit of bikini-clad lovelies followed bearing a palanque on their shoulders...

Loud cheers from the stage signalled the end of the march and the beginning of something rather funky.

Then a couple of the bikini-clad lovelies started sighing alternately...


Oh, he’s just so fine...
Hands off, he’s all mine...

Then a dishdash-clad figure stepped down, dripping with beard, gold and dark glasses. The Sheik was starting to sing.


Ladies, ladies, there is room for you all
So come and meet me in my banqueting hall
Where you can
Live the dream
While the Sheik will bring the cream
And you all had best stop messing
And put on your best French dressing
For the Sheik to play his part
While the choice is a la carte
But you all will find some use
For the Sheik’s patent love juice

Now it’s time
To do your duty
Do the wild thing
With Yerbouti
And just shake it shake it shake it
Just don’t ever try to fake it

Throughout this time the Sheik was making his way to the front of the stage, constantly being groped by the non-instrument-wielding bikini-clad lovelies who were on their knees before him.

This was evidently the first stanza and chorus for a lucky chosen two started
the alternate shouty sighing again.


Get away from my man!
Leave us be, you courtesan!


The Sheik pacified them by hugging both of them close.


Ladies, ladies, there is no need to fight
Sheik Yerbouti keeps it up all the night
And you’d
Best believe
As you’ll find this very eve
When the Sheik dons his gold crown
It’s not the sun that’s going down
And when the sharif strikes 11
The Sheik’ll send you to heaven
All the way from dusk till dawn
The Sheik will take you round the horn

Now you know
The Sheik’s enduring
So you must look
Most alluring
And just move it move it move it
Just don’t think the Sheik won’t prove it

More instrumentation. Pimping ain't easy.

Oh Sheik, I want you now.
Get away from him, you cow!

Ladies, ladies, that’s enough of your bluster
Sheik Yerbouti thinks you will all pass muster
The Sheik is
Very proud
To seduce girls allowed
To recline on his own silken rugs
With their bounteous big jugs
Of sweetest scented melon
And just a hint of lemon
And to play with Persian beaver
Before the Sheik has to leave her

Now you know
The Sheik is waiting
As he’s finished
His bear baiting
So just swing it swing it swing it
Just don’t doubt the Sheik won’t bring it…

The Sheik walked off stage, followed by a myriad of bikini-clad lovelies.

The organizers in their stall were open-mouthed. How on earth could such filth be allowed on television?

Half of the audience was open-mouthed. Almost pornographic, seemed to be the consensus. Lots of pursed lips.

The other half of the audience was rapturous. Almost pornographic, seemed to be the consensus. Lots of burst zips.

Funnily enough when the record went on sale the purchasing audience tended to have a Y chromosome.

Sixteen rather scruffy figures all dressed in black take the stage. Those concerned with more worldly affairs might notice that it would seem that they haven't bathed in some twenty eight years. Despite this, they project a certain inner peace and calm.

One of them totters towards the front of the stage.

"Hello. I am the Elder Stephen of the Enchanting Voice (http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a319/vakraas/Stephen.jpg), who has been appointed by my brothers in the Scattered Desert Hermits of the Archregimancy to introduce our contribution to this festival of song. Though after that contribution from Wentland, I am of half a mind to denounce this as a festival of sin.

But never mind. On with the song.

I am sure everyone here today is familiar with the theological background of the various anathemas of the Second Council of Constantinople, so there is little need for me to offer a background explanation to our contribution - The Sixth Anathema of the Second Council of Constantinople!

And at that point Elder Stephen steps back into line with his brothers, and they start to sing.

A modern version of unadorned Byzantine-style polyphonic chant starts to issue from the Scattered Desert Hermits, and while some may doubt what on earth a song like this is doing in this sort of song contest, there can be no doubting its inner beauty, and the extraordinary skill of the singers....


If anyone says that the holy, glorious, and ever-virgin Mary
Is called God-bearer by misuse of language and not truly,
Or by analogy,
Believing that only a mere man was born of her
And that God the Word was not incarnate of her,
But that the incarnation of God the Word resulted only from the fact
That he united himself to that man who was born of her;

If anyone slanders the Holy Synod of Chalcedon
As though it had asserted the Virgin to be God-bearer
According to the impious sense of Theodore;

Or if anyone shall call her manbearer or Christbearer,
As if Christ were not God,
And shall not confess that she is truly God-bearer,
Because God the Word who before all time was begotten of the Father
Was in these last days incarnate of her,
And if anyone shall not confess that in this pious sense
The holy Synod of Chalcedon confessed her to be God-bearer:
Let him be anathema!

And with that final 'Let him be anathema!', the singing stops, the hermits re-adjust their canes and walking sticks, and gently shuffle of the stage again.

No action, no jumping around, just sixteen hermits producing the most heavenly music the song contest will hear this year.

They surely don't stand a chance.

Though who knows.... given the acts they've been sandwiched between, perhaps they'll become the underground cult hit of the competition.

"So... Attila, whaddaya think?"

"I think that Sheik Yerbouti's stolen our act! What am I supposed to tell the Honeys? And how the Hell am I supposed to follow the monks? Yerbouti's stolen our act, and those Hermits have stolen my mojo!"

"Just go out there and do your best, Attila - incidentally, I do have a suggestion for some oneupmanship over those Wentlanders.... listen carefully....."


And now, Ladieeeees and Gentlemen..... The Holy Empire of Alasdair I Frosticus Presents.......

Attila and His Honeys with.....

The Belly-Bop Boogie!!!!!!!!!

[A short little man of dubious physical attractiveness, and wearing 5th century nomad dress, takes to the stage with four statuesque blondes in leather loincloths, their hair tied up]

He's just a short little man
{girls} Attila!
But he nearly conquered the world
{girls} Attila!
They named me after him
{girls} Attila!
But I don't rape and pillage
{girls} We won't let ya!

All together now!!!

[Attila tears hit outfit off to reveal a resplendent gold lame suit that would have done Elvis proud while the Honeys start French-kissing each other furiously, coming up for air only to shout out their contributions to the chorus]

That's because we do
The belly-bop boogie!
It's the dance that we all love
Shoogie-oggie-woogie!

Join you hands together
The belly-bop boogie!
It's the dance that we all do
Oogie-poogie-noogie!

[The girls stop kissing. They run to the wings of the stage, pick up guitars hidden in the wings, come running back to the centre of the stage, and Attila shouts out....]

AWESOME GUITAR SOLO!

[The girls shake their heads, their long flowing locks come undone and unfurl over their shoulders while their loincloths fall off revealing them to now be wearing only diamond-studded leather g-strings and reflective metal nipple covers. Strobe lights flash. The solo is excruciatingly bad. The 'band' return to French-kissing mode]

You'll see us all do
The belly-bop boogie!
It's the dance that we all love
Shoogie-oggie-woogie!

Join you hands together
The belly-bop boogie!
It's the dance that we all do
Oogie-poogie-noogie!

The belly-bop boogie!

{girls} yeah yeah yeah

The belly-bop boogie!

{girls} yeah yeah yeah

The belly-bop boogie!

{girls} yeah yeah yeah

The belly-bop boogie!

{girls} yeah yeah yeah

Awwwwwwoooooooohhhhhhhhaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhheeeeeeeee!

THE BELLY BOP BOOGIE!!!!!

[The song ends. The girls collapse in a mutual heap, in a too-obviously rehearsed pseudo-Sapphic pose, while Attila lands on one knee, arms outstretched, winking to the little old ladies in the front row. There is total silence as the baffled audience tries to absorb the 'musical' travesty it's just been forced to watch. Bookmakers immediately shorten the odds on the Holy Empire gaining 'nul points']

Now is the Khenas contestant with the song "You're Gullible"

Jake Sharp walks onto the stage, and it lights up. The song starts

My voice is silly and
My songs are poor
You'll keep on listening
To this manure
The press say I'm a genius
And you'd never question that
Just keep on buying my CD
Although it's utter crap

You're gullible, you're gullible
you're gullible, it's true
you saw my face on a CD case
And the next thing that you knew
You had joined the brainwashed queue

Yeah, you saw reviews
in the national news
The marketing was beautiful,
you could not refuse
And though my whining sets your teeth on edge
You've convinced yourself that I'm the best thing since sliced bread

You're gullible, you're gullible
You're gullible, it's true
You saw my face on a CD case
And you knew just what to do
Now you own a coaster too

You're gullible; you're gullible
It's pitiful but true
There must be an agent with a smile on his face,
When he thought of all the sheep like you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will always be quite poo
There was no animation on the screen, there was only some minamalist display with.

The stage is set with a great big chunk of an orange-coloured cheese on the big screens in the arena. Then our boys come out, Billy Nastic, Kenny Helstrom, Trevor Collins and Pete Flint, also known as The Usual Suspects.

Quite ironically, the intro is a cheesy acoustic guitar riff that could easily have been stolen from the previous act from Khenas. Then Collins' vocals kick in over a basic chord pattern, rather jauntily at first.

"Cheese, cheese, I love cheese
I'm only pleased when I've got my cheese
The only thing I live for
Is a smelly chunk of Roquefort (http://www.cheese.com/Description.asp?Name=Roquefort)"

The chord pattern changes slightly for the verse, but the bass and drums start to be gently played in the background.

"Well I'm a lazy prat
And I was sat
In the kitchen one afternoon

It was half past three
And I knew my tea
Time would be coming soon

My belly rumbled
As I stumbled
To the fridge across the floor

And to my surprise
In front of my eyes
As I opened up the door"

Now the electric guitar starts being played, again, only slowly and gently.

Was cheese, cheese, I love cheese
I'm only pleased when I've got my cheese
The only thing that makes me better
Is a massive lump of mature Cheddar (http://www.cheese.com/Description.asp?Name=cheddar)"

The group start to play louder for the second verse

"Well my Wensleydale (http://www.cheese.com/Description.asp?Name=Wensleydale)
Was going stale
But that didn't matter to me

'Cause luckily there
Was Camembert (http://www.cheese.com/Description.asp?Name=Camembert%20de%20Normandie)
And loads and loads of Brie (http://www.cheese.com/Description.asp?Name=brie)

The shelves were crammed
With piles of Edam (http://www.cheese.com/Description.asp?Name=edam)
And Gouda (http://www.cheese.com/Description.asp?Name=gouda) by the ton

And as well as the rest there
Was loads of Red Leicester (http://www.cheese.com/Description.asp?Name=Red%20Leicester)
And Cheddar (http://www.cheese.com/Description.asp?Name=cheddar) and Stilto-o-o-n (http://www.cheese.com/Description.asp?Name=Stilton)"

By now, the song is really quite rocky, with the chords being played really powerfully on the electric guitar.

"And although I can
See Parmesan (http://www.cheese.com/Description.asp?Name=Parmesan%20%28Parmigiano%29)
Right there in front of me

I can't decide
Which one it is I'd
Like to have for my tea

So I closed my eyes
And reached inside
And I'd have what I'd grad a-hold

But my hopes were lost-a
When my Double Gloucester (http://www.cheese.com/Description.asp?Name=Double%20Gloucester)
Was just a lump of mould"

The song is flowing along nicely, now, and this is one of the better parformances the lads have done.

"Oh, cheese, cheese, I love cheese
I'm only pleased when I've got my cheese
You know that I'm the biggest fan
Of Gruyere (http://www.cheese.com/Description.asp?Name=Gruyere) and Parmesan (http://www.cheese.com/Description.asp?Name=Parmesan%20%28Parmigiano%29)"

The song gradually slows throughout the final verse

"I don't care much
If it's French (http://www.cheese.com/countrystep2.asp?Country=France) or Dutch (http://www.cheese.com/countrystep2.asp?Country=Holland)
English (http://www.cheese.com/countrystep2.asp?Country=England) or even Swiss (http://www.cheese.com/countrystep2.asp?Country=Switzerland)

If it's Austrian (http://www.cheese.com/countrystep2.asp?Country=Austria)
Then I'll still have some
'Cause it fills my with such bliss

The only thing
Is that my breath mings
Exactly like my feet

But then again
It would be when
It's the only thing I eat"

By this point, the song is back at the pace at which it started, but in a much more downtrodden tone

"Oh cheese, cheese, I stink of cheese
Oh help me please, I smell diseased
It's got more power than a nuke
When you smell my cheesy puke"

Trevor strums the final chord a few times before the band all collapse onto the floor to rapturous applause from the Schiavone contingent and not much else from everyone else. The odds on the Alasdair I Frosticus entry getting 'nul points' lengthen again as the Schiavone entry takes its place as the outsider.

If Anja, Kimber or Marie-Claire were nervous before their chance to shine for Chicanada, they chose not to show it. Waiting for Schiavonia to finish up made the girls of Tanzen all the more excited, as they finally got into position on the massive drum being rolled onto the stage during the break.

Finally on stage, the big drum was set with the girls, posed as muses on a Greek vase, behind it and out of view from the crowd. A dancer climbed on top of the drum, massive mallet in hand to start the show. Two male dancers got ready for a quick turn of the drum to let the girls off the unit.

After the quick postcard about how Rejistanis like to go see movies when it's not raining, Chicanada began their three minutes of heaven. The dancer on top smashed the drum to start the graphics on the screens as well as the beat of the song. Twelve seconds of drumming led to the dancers on the ground to turning the drum around and unveiling Tanzen to the screaming crowd. The girls began singing their song as it turned

If you want me, you can get me baby
But if you want it you had better come and get it

The girls dismount as the drum beat falls properly in line with the melody and the five on the groud began the complicated dance number to sell "Come And Get It." The bass guitar kicks in as Anja begins the lyrics, with the syntho criticized on their recorded version replaced by more guitair and drums, giving the track almost a rock feel. Still pop, but with more edge than at the Chicanada Song Contest.

Hey baby I see ya starin
Wantin a piece of me
Wanna try to get with me
Wanna get some love from me
But you forget that I of course have it
And you think that I'm so easy
Baby I ain't that sleasy
You wanna come and grab it you better come at me the right way

The ladies then stop just long enough to catch their breath and hit the chorus

If you want it baby
You can have it now
But if you want it
You had better come and get it

Marie-Claire leads the bridge part, with some side steping from Anja and Kimber giving a different feel to the only slow spot in the song.

You can bring your big guns [big guns]
You can bring your big sticks [big sticks]
You can try all your little trick [little little]
But if you don't act right you can't have me tonight

And if you thought the dancing was done just for a bridge, the three ladies get a boost from their dancers to the top of the drum while their Mad Drummer keeps going on. And whats better than three girls shaking it along with some drumming? How about some pyro! Pyro, shaking and Anja leading the girls back into the chorus:

If you want it baby
You can have it now
But if you want it
You had better come and get it

Don't play those games on me
And just come and play with me
Cuz if you want it you had better come and get it

If you want [uh-uh-uh]
You know ya got it
Cuz if ya [uh-uh-uh]
You had better [uh-uh-uh]

Final pointy pose, just to cutey up their performance, as the girls finishing singing their lungs out to the screaming crowd. A proud perf no doubt, one CityTV would be repeating forever if they could pull the upset over the hosts or the Sheik and his scene-stealing ways.

The stage is set with a great big chunk of an orange-coloured cheese on the big screens in the arena. Then our boys come out, Billy Nastic, Kenny Helstrom, Trevor Collins and Pete Flint, also known as The Usual Suspects.

Quite ironically, the intro is a cheesy acoustic guitar riff that could easily have been stolen from the previous act from Khenas. Then Collins' vocals kick in over a basic chord pattern, rather jauntily at first.

"Cheese, cheese, I love cheese
I'm only pleased when I've got my cheese
The only thing I live for
Is a smelly chunk of Roquefort (http://www.cheese.com/Description.asp?Name=Roquefort)"

The chord pattern changes slightly for the verse, but the bass and drums start to be gently played in the background.

"Well I'm a lazy prat
And I was sat
In the kitchen one afternoon

It was half past three
And I knew my tea
Time would be coming soon

My belly rumbled
As I stumbled
To the fridge across the floor

And to my surprise
In front of my eyes
As I opened up the door"

Now the electric guitar starts being played, again, only slowly and gently.

Was cheese, cheese, I love cheese
I'm only pleased when I've got my cheese
The only thing that makes me better
Is a massive lump of mature Cheddar (http://www.cheese.com/Description.asp?Name=cheddar)"

The group start to play louder for the second verse

"Well my Wensleydale (http://www.cheese.com/Description.asp?Name=Wensleydale)
Was going stale
But that didn't matter to me

'Cause luckily there
Was Camembert (http://www.cheese.com/Description.asp?Name=Camembert%20de%20Normandie)
And loads and loads of Brie (http://www.cheese.com/Description.asp?Name=brie)

The shelves were crammed
With piles of Edam (http://www.cheese.com/Description.asp?Name=edam)
And Gouda (http://www.cheese.com/Description.asp?Name=gouda) by the ton

And as well as the rest there
Was loads of Red Leicester (http://www.cheese.com/Description.asp?Name=Red%20Leicester)
And Cheddar (http://www.cheese.com/Description.asp?Name=cheddar) and Stilto-o-o-n (http://www.cheese.com/Description.asp?Name=Stilton)"

By now, the song is really quite rocky, with the chords being played really powerfully on the electric guitar.

"And although I can
See Parmesan (http://www.cheese.com/Description.asp?Name=Parmesan%20%28Parmigiano%29)
Right there in front of me

I can't decide
Which one it is I'd
Like to have for my tea

So I closed my eyes
And reached inside
And I'd have what I'd grad a-hold

But my hopes were lost-a
When my Double Gloucester (http://www.cheese.com/Description.asp?Name=Double%20Gloucester)
Was just a lump of mould"

The song is flowing along nicely, now, and this is one of the better parformances the lads have done.

"Oh, cheese, cheese, I love cheese
I'm only pleased when I've got my cheese
You know that I'm the biggest fan
Of Gruyere (http://www.cheese.com/Description.asp?Name=Gruyere) and Parmesan (http://www.cheese.com/Description.asp?Name=Parmesan%20%28Parmigiano%29)"

The song gradually slows throughout the final verse

"I don't care much
If it's French (http://www.cheese.com/countrystep2.asp?Country=France) or Dutch (http://www.cheese.com/countrystep2.asp?Country=Holland)
English (http://www.cheese.com/countrystep2.asp?Country=England) or even Swiss (http://www.cheese.com/countrystep2.asp?Country=Switzerland)

If it's Austrian (http://www.cheese.com/countrystep2.asp?Country=Austria)
Then I'll still have some
'Cause it fills my with such bliss

The only thing
Is that my breath mings
Exactly like my feet

But then again
It would be when
It's the only thing I eat"

By this point, the song is back at the pace at which it started, but in a much more downtrodden tone

"Oh cheese, cheese, I stink of cheese
Oh help me please, I smell diseased
It's got more power than a nuke
When you smell my cheesy puke"

Trevor strums the final chord a few times before the band all collapse onto the floor to rapturous applause from the Schiavone contingent and not much else from everyone else. The odds on the Alasdair I Frosticus entry getting 'nul points' lengthen again as the Schiavone entry takes its place as the outsider.

OOC: This is not taking place in an arena. the venue is described in post 1

"Well, that was Chicanada's entry, Tanzen. Should do well that one. The crowd here in the hall seem to like that one, they're all up on their feet! As we move on, next into the arena will be... wait what the hell is going on in here!"

"It's not an arena!"

"What?"

"I said it's not an arena!"

"What the hell are you on about? Who the devil do you think you are, anyway?"

"We're the Swilatian commentary team, and for the last time, it is not an arena!"

"Well what is it then?"

"It's a concert hall!"

"Which is a form of arena. Do you want me to get my dictionary out just to prove myself right?"

"No, because you are in no way whatsoever right. There's be no point!"

"Well, I have anyway. Look. 'Arena, noun, An enclosed area for the presentation of sports events or spectacles, or a building housing such an area. Now stop me if I'm wrong, but surely this contest is a spactacle, and this building is housing the event, thus the Concert Hall here in Na~ovi kali is an arena. OK!?!?!"

"It's not an arena, though."

"Oh, shut up and get on with your jobs! The next act are coming on now!"

"Only if you promise not to call this concert hall an arena."

"No. I won't."

"Why not?"

"Because I've just proved to you that it is one! Don't you people ever listen?"

"Well..."

"Oh, by the way, thanks for the extra playing of our entry!"

And with that, Dave Topp pushed the Swilatian commentator out of the Schiavone commentary booth and slammed the door shut in his face.

"Anyway, for all of you back home, our next act..."

Attila and the Honeys retired to a dressing room, somewhat shocked at their non-reception and only hoping that the votes would go their way. Attila went off to the toilet when there was a knock at the door.

A couple of bikini-clad lovelies walked in. "The Sheik has decided that the harem needs fresh blood. The Sheik's eye fell upon the Honeys and he was not displeased. The Sheik cordially invites the Honeys to the Divan for refreshments and the Sheik's own patented filling."

It was a good job Attila was out of the room.

"Well, that was Chicanada's entry, Tanzen. Should do well that one. The crowd here in the hall seem to like that one, they're all up on their feet! As we move on, next into the arena will be... wait what the hell is going on in here!"

"It's not an arena!"

"What?"

"I said it's not an arena!"

"What the hell are you on about? Who the devil do you think you are, anyway?"

"We're the Swilatian commentary team, and for the last time, it is not an arena!"

"Well what is it then?"

"It's a concert hall!"

"Which is a form of arena. Do you want me to get my dictionary out just to prove myself right?"

"No, because you are in no way whatsoever right. There's be no point!"

"Well, I have anyway. Look. 'Arena, noun, An enclosed area for the presentation of sports events or spectacles, or a building housing such an area. Now stop me if I'm wrong, but surely this contest is a spactacle, and this building is housing the event, thus the Concert Hall here in Na~ovi kali is an arena. OK!?!?!"

"It's not an arena, though."

"Oh, shut up and get on with your jobs! The next act are coming on now!"

"Only if you promise not to call this concert hall an arena."

"No. I won't."

"Why not?"

"Because I've just proved to you that it is one! Don't you people ever listen?"

"Well..."

"Oh, by the way, thanks for the extra playing of our entry!"

And with that, Dave Topp pushed the Swilatian commentator out of the Schiavone commentary booth and slammed the door shut in his face.

"Anyway, for all of you back home, our next act..."

OOC: Why did you post that. it was an OOC post, so this RP is unnesesary, and should go.

*You are listening to Schia FM. We are sorry, but we have lost our connection with Na~ovi kali. Our engineers are doing all they can to put it right. In the meantime, please be entertained by what we like to call an OOC comment.*

OK then, first up, I RP my replies because this is essentially an RP thread. That's what you do in it. I prefer to have a bit of fun with my replies by putting them into RPs, but if you can't figure that out for yourself, then I'm going to have to resort to going OOC too.

Secondly, is there any chance you could avoid repeating everything I post? I've just said it in the thread a few posts ago. If there's a specific section you are not happy with, please cut it down to that. It took me a few minutes to figure out what the hell you were going on about in your first OOC comment in my direction.

Thirdly, why did you even bother to make the first OOC post? My RP was trying to point out that a) it was incorrect and b) it was completely pointless. But instead of being mildly insulting about it like I could have been, I tried to make my comeback slightly more fun.

*You are listening to Schia FM. We are pleased to announce that we have solved our connection problem, and it is back to Dave Topp in Na~ovi kali.*

The Archregimancy judges were carefully compiling their scorecards....

What was this den of sin they were being forced to watch? Near-naked women cavorting on stage, some of them in poses of unnatural love? Odes to cheese during holy fasts? Swilatia repeating Schiavonia's travesty in full in an apparent attempt to make eardrums bleed?

Alas, it seemed from the fine print in the rules that they could not award their own fine effort the full 'douze points', but just then a message came through from the Archregimand's office. It seemed that the Basileus of the Holy Empire himself had been on the phone, and very strict instructions on how the Archregimancy was to vote.

There was much sighing from the assembled monks, but 'render unto Caesar'. So they prepared to do just that.


[OOC - when do we start officially awarding points, and does Rejis have a specific system in mind? Same as Eurovision's?]

OOC: Gimmie a bit time... /me needs to do the N.Ixi Ni entry as well... RL is much a hassle. But yeah, Eurovision point-system will be used.

The lights become low as N.Ixi Ni (which means: Nane Ixi and Nijan Taren) enter the stage from different sides, both in the light of a spotlight. Nane wears a suit of a glittering material and has an electric guitar, which looks as if it it was made of gold. It is clear for everyone with some knowledge of Rejistanian culture that he is dressed up as Shiaukatara, the bringer of wealth. Nijan Taren on the opposite is clad in little more than rugs and appears to be dirty (even though it's just makeup) and his hair seems to be untidy and around his left arm, he has a red ribbon. He is supposed to be Iamenkatara, the taker of wealth according to rejistanian myths. He takes his place at the Sial-drums while Nane goes to the microphone. "Hejida! Xen'aru N.Ixi Ni! Hello! We are N.Ixi Ni of Rejistania!"

The music starts with slow chords, Nijan adds beats in a slightly unusual pattern. Then, Nijan sings to the slightly dreamy music:

Sanja'mi'slani,
xe'ma'ta 'itera!
hakim mi'sejil!
xe'vana 'dekesa!

(Life is shit/I can not continue/Everything is bad/I want to disappear)

The music becomes suddenly faster and N.Ixi Ni start rocking. Now it's Nane who sings the chorus:

Itera'il, Itera'il!
Simu'ki'viki!
Itera'il, Itera'il!
Kuro'het mi'sejil!

(Continue, Continue!/ The worthiest will win!/ Continue, Continue!/ Surrendering is bad!)

Nijan replies to this:

Hakim'anik'han!
Xe'vana 'sala'han!
xe'vana 'itera, venil.
minji'ny'sy redy!
jilih'halen nka!

(Everything goes down/I want the other direction/I want to continue despite that/with red hands/if it makes a difference)

Hakim'halen kia!
mer'sil'il'ta!
Disde'il leji!
Disde'il viki!

(Everything counts/Do not cry/decide correctly/decide to win)

Nane sings the chorus:

Itera'il, Itera'il!
Simu'ki'viki!
Itera'il, Itera'il!
Kuro'het mi'sejil!

Nijan replies to this:

Xe'ma'ta 'disde
ve 'koleni'ta
sanja'sydi ve
sanja'veka'ta!
xe'unidu etju'ra
ve Iheta kalesa

(I can not make decisions/and do not compare/Life is fast and /life is not good!/I dream in the tram/and in Iheta)

Again the reply comes:

Il'lil demna
il'lil hadada
il'ma 'koleni!
il'ma 'sidekhi
sanja simu!
Xan'ta'il ijvu
Xe'ma hariri!

(You have a heart/you have a brain/you can think/you can reach/a worthy life/Don't plan too far/I can help)

They both finish with the chorus.

"Hey, where did the Honeys go?"

"I dunno, Attila, but they left you this note...."

"Dear Atty,

Please don't be upset with us, but we've gone off to Sheik Yerbouti's Divan for refreshment and some of the Sheik's patented filling. We understand that he wants to give us a really big present, and being stereotypically air-headed sexually exploited women as we are, we can't resist a sexual innuendo. Never mind two of them. Don't worry about us, though - we'll happily teach him the rules to that Hide the Sausage game you were so enthusiastic about but which we somehow never got around to letting you play with us. Naughty, naughty Atty!

Anyway, we'll see you about somewhere, sometime, and we'll always think kindly about your toupee.

Kisses (but not naughty ones),

The Honeys"

"Isn't it enough that he's stolen my act - now he's gone and stolen my chicks too! Isn't there anything I can do about this?"

"Sorry Attila, but it's not covered by the rules.... It's only likely to be a problem if you win, and let's face it - that's not very likely, is it?"

Attila and his manager were left wondering one thing.... where on earth had the Honeys learnt such big words? And exploited? How could they possibly think they were being exploited? Attila sighed. Next time he'd try not to pick backing singers from the University's Gender Studies department. Women picked up all sorts of strange ideas in tertiary education these days....

Attila hung up his gold suit as he got changed into more restrained garb. No act, no Honeys...what next?

Then there was a knock at the door. Attila opened it to find a trio of bikini-clad lovelies making eyes at him.

"The Sheik sends his regards," said the brunette. "He also sends us as a present in return for the use of the Honeys."

"We wish to make a personal apology on behalf of the Sheik," said the blonde.

"Now close your eyes, Atty dear," said the redhead, "and you will get a big surprise."

Attila did as he was told and immediately tasted heaven. Mouth to mouth spiritual rescuscitation. He opened his eyes for a moment to see the translucent blue eyes of the brunette who was trying to extract his tonsils with her tongue. "Ah-ah, eyes closed..." cautioned the blonde.

Then a clap of hands and they changed over. Attila could feel long, lustrous hair between his fingers. This must be the one with the hair of flame, her locks tumbled lazily to her waist, thought Attila. Mmm, she tastes even better than the brunette.

And finally another clap of the hands. Another changeover. Must be the blonde. And wow, what was she doing with her hands?

Attila didn't want it to end but alas it did. He invited the bikini-clad lovelies to stay. "Alas, we must be off...the Sheik does not wish his harem to be overburdened beyond measure..."

Attila was despondent but cheered up. Still got it. They were nice girls, he thought, his appetite was back, let's try the University's Arts Department and claim to be doing a performance piece "Attila Gets Off With Lots Of Nice Girls".

He closed the door with a satisfied sigh. Then he looked around. Wait a minute, he thought. Where's my gold suit?

Attila collapsed in the corner and sobbed quietly.

His act stolen by Sheik Yerbouti. His Honeys stolen by Sheik Yerbouti. And now his prize gold suit - lovingly handed down through the family for 13 generations (or so his grandfather had once claimed) - had been stolen by that self-same Sheik Yerbouti. What's worse, thanks to that incident with the three recently-departed harem members, Sheik Yerbouti had even managed to steal Attila's dignity.

Was there no end to this lifetime of humiliation? The jeers and jaunts of the overweight adolescent on the school playground.... the failure of his date to show up the very first time he'd asked a girl out.... the time he'd been thrown out of the Dining Club for Sophisticated Swingin' Bachelors.... the rejection by his first wife.... and his second wife.... not to mention his third wife....

Somewhere, a synapse snapped.

He cast aside his toupee, picked up his mighty weapon, and strode forth from his dressing room.

No more would he take this lying down. Finally, he would fight back.

Today he would have his revenge!!!!!!

------------------------------------

Most of the competitors in the NSVision song contest (except for Sheik Yerbouti, who at that very moment was back in his dressing room demonstrating his famous skill as a cunning linguist to his new harem members) were gathered in the Green Room, breathessly waiting for the results of the contest vote.

So imagine their surprise when a short, slightly overweight, naked bald man strode into the room, brandishing a plastic stage sword, and shouting

BEHOLD!!!

I AM ATTILA, DESTROYER OF EMPIRES, CONSUMER OF SOULS!

SUBMIT TO ME NOW, OR I SHALL WREAK MY TERRIBLE VENGEANCE UPON YOU ALL!!!

"Just Virginia Nova and Oliverry still to come, and we have news from the green room with our reporter there Kenny Sanderson."

"Well, this really is a turn up for the books. Attila, the Alasdair I Frosticus entry for the contest has just walked into the room, wearing nothing more than a plastic sword and had some kind of a breakdown on one of the tables."

"Sounds crazy. Is this some kind of publicity stunt to earn votes for his truly awful dirge earlier or is this a real sign that he has completely lost it."

"It appears to be for real, Dave. Two of our boys decided to protect his dignity from the watching millions by blocking part of the camera's view with a giant ball of waxy cheese, but he didn't seem to care one jot who saw what. Not that there was much to see, mind."

"Er... indeed."

"Well Dave, I'll bring you more on the situation as it happens."

"Anything else happening up there?"

"Not really. The entry from Virginia Nova doesn't actually appear to have turned up yet. Knowing their reputation, they're probably lost somewhere in the city. That's if they're in the right city!"

"Any more?"

"Well Billy from the Usual Suspects has heard about the bother the Swilatian commentarry team have been giving you, trying to stop your broadcasts and what have you. He says that if they bother you again, he'll send the boys round."

"Oh no. It may be irritating, but we don't want violence."

"What... oh, there'd be no violence involved. They just mean that they'll come into their commentary both and play for them!"

"Fair enough. Kenny Sanderson, thank you!"

Well now everyone had performed.

Almost everyone. the band from Virginia Nova did not perform yet. Because it was so much time gone since the last performance, they are probably lost, if they even took the right flight, If not, they might be in a different Rejistanian city, or even any largee city in the world, maybe even Vilvek.

whatever. now lets talk about whats happening.

Okay. so this whole contest is just crazy event after crazy event.

I mean, the archregimancy just sung some religious crap, and bashed all the other songs because they were not religious crap.

Well, thats typical of religious people. They don't know how to do constructive criticism, so they just resort to cheap insults. honestly. religion is bad for you!

So what else out of the ordinbary is happening here?

Well, Atilla had a breakdown inside the concert hall because Sheik Yebuti "sotle his act and his lovelies". seems like a publicity stunt to me.

And what about the commentary fight?

It did not happen. I mean, look at athe surveilance tapes. Its clear that the schavonian commentary is either trying to frame us or is just having a fantasy to pass the time betweeen performances.

Any more?

Not reall.

OOC: Okay, for the votes, please send them to the nation System Karela! The votes are 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 10, 12

OOC: I'm going to assume we don't vote for our own...

OOC: but we still didn't hear the virgina nova entry.

OOC: I just want Swilatia to know that I DO know what an Out Of Character post is. But I prefer to do them at least semi-IC, just to try to fit them in to the thread better. After a personal telegram asking me of I do not know the difference, I feel somewhat insulted that Swilatia just doesn't "get" my posts. Not that there is much to get about them, in my opinion.

For the final time, I am trying to make light of an OOC situation by cleverly working it in to the IC situation. At the same time, it makes the IC situation more interesting, creating a bit of tension between our commentary teams. If you don't like that, RP your way out of it, just like you did. It is a shame, though. A rivalry could have been fun, but, alas, it was not to be.

IC: "...hang on, this can't be right!"

Dave Topp was as confused. There were still two team names left on his list of artists still to play. Where were Virginia Nova and Oliverry? He looked along the line of commentary boxes. Next door were the Swilatians, who looked just as confused as he was.

"Well, folks, it appers that we are going into the interval, those were the voting details, and this is officially your time to vote. Remember, you can't vote for our entry, so call the number for the entry you enjoyed the most, disliked the least or whatever, and have a direct say in where the Schiavone voting goes!"

With that, Dave turned off his microphone to let the listeners back home enjoy the spectacle of the interval. He decided that, during this period, he would enquire about what was going on with the final two entries with the Rejistanian organising officials.

Then he thought. "The Swilatian guys next door seem a bit confused by it all, too. Maybe I should go through and apologise, then see if they want to pop along and see what's going on."

So he did. Out of the box he went, knocked on the door of the booth next door and popped his head around it.

"Hey guys... er, sorry about the confusion earlier. I know we got off to a bad start, but I just wondered if you knew..."

"Confusion earlier? Bad start?"

"Yeah, you know, about the whole arena thing."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about when you came into my booth to tell me to stop calling the concert hall an arena."

"But we did no such thing!"

"You did!"

"I'm sorry, but why would we do that? We have an audience back home who are listening to our coverage of the show. Why would we leave this booth?"

"But you..."

"Are you OK?"

"Um... I think I better get some fresh air."

And with that, Dave left the room, even more confused. If it wasn't the Swilatian commentator who came into his booth earlier, then who was it? Did anyone come in at all? Had the two remaining entries played without him noticing? Did they even say it was time to start voting?

"Dave? DAVE!"

Where the hell was this voice coming from?"

"DAAAAVE!!!"

He was blank.

"Dave, this is Kenny in the green room. Where are you?"

Kenny? Who the hell is Kenny?

"Are you alright. Look, if you don't come in on the radio, I'm going to have to start talking."

Radio? What radio?

"Dave..."

Nothing.

"Hello, you're listening to Schia FM's coverage of the NSVision song contest. I'm Kenny Sanderson, and I'm going to be presenting the rest of the show for you. If you're wondering what has happened to Dave Topp, strange as it seems, but I am asking the very same questions. You find me currently dashing from the green room to the commentary area, and once I find the Schiavone box, I'll start trying my best at telling you what's going on..."

And now it seems the Virginia Novan entrant and the Oliverrian entrant have failed to turn up... We can only assume that they are totally and hopelessly lost, or possibly forgot that it was on. Either way the organisers have called an end to performances and the Bazalonian phone lines are open.. please dial 1800 080 008 and follow the prompts to vote for your favourite performance. You won't be able to vote for the Bazalonian entrant, Shania Noll with her song "What about her?", but there are still many good performances to vote for... get voting no... voting closes very soon. The vote ranking of the phone votes will be combined with the ranking provided by our judges and the final ranking will be what the Bazalonian votes for the NSVision.... We'll keep re-broadcasting the performances to help you deciding while we wait for voting to close.

"And now we go to Alexander Orphanotropho, live at the NSVision Song Contest in Rejistania..."

"Thank you, Catherine! And it's total chaos here backstage in the Green Room. Attila has lost it, and is prancing around naked, brandishing a plastic sword, demanding we submit to his terrible will, while security try and wrestle him to the ground, impeded by a couple of Schiavonians who are trying to hide Attila from the cameras with balls of waxy cheese.

Meanwhile bands of giggling lovelies wearing very little at all are queueing up outside the Wentland entry's dressing room, one of Schiavonia's announcers seems to have vanished into thin air, the Swilatians are taking anything anyone says entirely literally, the entries from Virginia Nova and Oliverry never seem to have turned up, somewhere in the middle of this chaos the Scattered Desert Hermits of the Archregimancy are trying to hold a quiet prayer vigil, and Bazalonia entry Shania Noll's chihuahua is currently humping my leg.

It's madness! Madness I tell you!

Meanwhile, it's time for everyone in the Holy Empire to vote for their favourite entry! Call or text this the on-screen number to vote for the winner...... NOW!

And now, back to the studio...."

"PookieDo stop doing that... Leave that mans leg alone..." yelled Shannia to her chihuahua after the AIF broadcaster I'm fininshed... "I'm sorry... about that but I'm glad I'm not in the green room at the moment."

Shannia said as she dragged her dog away from Alexander... "You know my dog usually has great taste in men..." and with that she walked away.

Okay. so it is now offcial that Virginia Nova pulled out. Now it is possible to score the songs by phone, or online.

The scores we will hand out will be based on the results of the vote. However we cannot score our own performance in this song contest, so the score for it will not be submitted.

OOC: I'll wikify this. If the maxquestions bug doesent stop me.

"Hmmmmm, so do you think those Rejistanians might actually release some results?"

"Don't know Alexander, but quite apart from the on-going chaos in the Green Room - where security still haven't caught the rampaging Attila - the crowd in the venue seem to be getting slightly antsy about being locked in for an entire week without food or toilet breaks. Those plastic buckets can't store much more human waste. At least we have a toilet and chef back stage. And Schivonia's yummy, tasty, cheese samples.

If the hosts don't hurry up and announce a winner, the crowd might start dying of starvation. And there's a good chance of typhus or cholera breaking out if no one empties those buckets...."

Okay! and now is the khenas vote for the songs of NSvision! yes,the last performance was while ago, but we haad a blackout in Khenas.

You will not be able to vote on Khenas' wonderful song, but there are other nice songs to vote on. However you can choose your favourite from all the other performances.

And you can als hope that we got good score from other nations.

"Hmmmmm, so do you think those Rejistanians might actually release some results?"


OOC: I am busy with moving houses. I did not expect it to happen so soon when I started the NSvision... now I have no internet access except for an old piece of crap whhich is too slow for anything! Also, not everyone has voted yet and some votes are clearly ... insane (not as in "WTH are these people voting for" but rather as in "How did these people think the voting works?!?!"). If I TG you about that, I do expect a valid vote!

OOC: excuse the time problems... I really thought I'd have got the new appartment later :/ and :)

The rejistani entered the stage after the quite long dance show in during televoting and the evaluation of it.

"Hejida again, I am glad to be able to present you the results! On the last place is Oliverry with 4 points, despite not participating! Before them: Schiavonia with 23 points!" the numbers are presented on the canvas as she speaks "Ahead of the cheese-friends is what Swilatia! They finished having 35 points! 9th is Kaze Progressa haivng 41 points!! There is no 8th place, just as there is no 7th place. However, three countries reached 42 points and the meaning of the universe, life and all the rest! Congratulations to Chicanada, Khenas and Wentland! One point ahead, thanks to the help from Alasdair I Frosticus is The Archregimancy! Even higher is, with 50 points Alasdari I Frosticus - with help from their rekijo'he'ny of the Archregimancy! 52 points and the third place go to: Bazalonia! Congratulations! On the second place is... having 54 points... Rejistania! Han'iln, N.Ixi Ni!" the fans of the different nations cheered or booed during the announcements as appropriate. "Now for the winner... having the record number of 59 points is... MARTENPOLIS! Congratulations!"

OOC: out of time again!

"and now the results have come we bring you back the Rejistanian Concert Hall."

"With a total of 4 points, despite not even turning up. Oliverry...."

"then with 23 points.... The ... "cheesy" performance of the Schiavonian."

"with 35 points.... Swilatia."

"with 41 points.... Kaza Progress."

"Chicanada, Khenas and Wentland all tied with 42 points all being barely 1 point ahead of Kaza Progress."

"There has been slight confusion with what I believe the Two dreamed realm nations being combined with 50 points being awarded jointly to the Archregimancy and AIF."

"It's now time for Third place.... Bazalonia with 52 points. Shannia Noll is very please with herself for that one."

"2nd place... The hosts Rejistania with 54 points.. The home crowd went wild."

"And so the winner of the first inaugural NSVision Song Contest.... MARTENPOLIS, with a total of 59 points. Congratulations to all that have competed. This is BazFM's live coverage of the NSVision Song contest."