NationStates Jolt Archive

World Cup 29- Krytenia/Casari

That's right, it's time to start down the long, winding road where we find out which 121 teams are not the best at Association Football!

If you have a roster, that would go here! (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=486262) If you've been a tad lazy and haven't signed up yet, well, you're a bit lucky, and can still do that here. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=482039)
Any OT rants? This would be the place. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=293066)

But Wait, there's Sponsorships to discuss!

That's right, while Kry and I would host out of the goodness of our hearts, there's some money to be had.

Applications for Offical World Cup Sponsorships are being sought in the following categories:

(mmmm) Alcoholic Beverages
Airlines/Travel
Fast Food
Soft Drinks
Sports Equipment
Technology

If you desire sponsorships in areas other than these, don't be shy, all applications will be considered. Applications will be judged on creativity, how awesome they strike those judging, and Roleplayability.

Alexandria Times-Tribune-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Journal-Enquirer

Sports Section

Milchama looking for 200 goals in World Cup competition

While it is an outside shot the Milchama Warriors are looking for their 200th goal in World Cup play during WC29 their 5th world cup. The Warriors though have a long way ahead of them as they still need 41 goals in World Cup qualifying to accomplish this feat. Though most people are still optimistic, "Well we can score 30 or so in qualifying then maybe about 5 to 7 in the WC proper and that's 37 right there. We're only looking at a couple of big wins mixed with some good results. It could happen."

The Milchama number crunching department will now show you all goals and in order of who scored them and how many:

Marc J. Floren 45 goals
Dunston Copperlee 18 goals
J.J. Faren and Spot Nielson 17 goals
Matt Bantin 13 goals
Floren Albentine 12 goals
Darian Flinters 10 goals
Johnny Rintell and Elana Kilinin 5 goals
Billy Timmons, and Antoine Sanchez 3 goals
Kendric Pevington and Tuck Feders 2 goals
Silas Milckey and Brandon Callers 1 goal

With the FNI going on the Warriors are also looking for their 300th goal in all competitions. Currently they have 250 not including the FNI.

The overall leaders in goals scored are as follows:
Marc J. Floren 56 goals
Floren Albentine 25 goals
J.J. Faren 22
Dunston Copperlee 21
Spot Nielson 20
Matt Bantin 19 goals
Darian Flinters 14 goals
Kelvin Joseph 11 goals
Tilar Flitty 9 goals
Zar Johnson 8 goals
Barrett M. Lonnen 7 goals
Elana Kilinin, and Mills Thompson 6 goals
Marin Keffer, and Johnny Rintell 5 goals
Bat Nackson 4 goals
Bobby Martin, Antoine Sanchez, and Billy Timmons 3 goals
Doni Kunalin, Del Clufor, Kendric Pevington, Daveed Lintooney and Tuck Feders 2 goals
Chase Mergle, Silas Milckey, and Brandon Callers 1 goal

So as you can see Marc J. Floren is by far the best goal scorer in Milchamian history although at his relatively young age Albentine looks ready to overtake Floren, espiecially considering that most of his 12 WC goals were scored last World Cup. A change could very well be in store soon but for now it is Floren who is the greatest in history.

PRESS RELEASE - BAZAIR & VERONA JOIN FORCES

BazAir and Verona incorporated are putting in a joint bid for being the Official Transport providers for the 29th world Cup.

Unlike many other potential sponsors the two companies have joined forces to provide transport both in the air and on the ground during the World cup. Verona will make avialable a number of larger mini vans for the world cup, and will upon request make mini vans available during the qualifying stage to any appropraite national football association.

The Mini vans will be on loan during the time and then will be sold off as special WC edition cars. Of cvourse after thoughough detailing and checks.

BazAir will provide discounted airfares for teams during the qualifying stage but will fly the teams on a number of specially converted aircraft for the WC to allow for physio and other prepartory actions during the flights. These planes will be available at no cost but as there wil be limited planes available booking of these planes will be essential.

Verona and BazAir the only truely complete transportation sponsorship

VN Company becomes Official WC Sponser

NOVE RICHMOND-Today it was announced that Ukrops Will become Official World Cup Supermarket for the matches bothe duing qualifiers and the actual Tournament. Ukrops history in sports has been important to the development of Sports culture in VN, as they own Soccer,Racing,and Grid-Iron Teams and are also sponsers of VaNova's National stadium.


00C: Sorry for that wimpy RP but my mom is egging me to get off the Computer:rolleyes:

"And off lifts Alri Four, carrying the Casaran Worldsat 9 Satellite, completing the network which will carry the broadcast of the World Cup out of the Confederation to the population of the entire world. Worldsat 9 will be propelled into lower earth orbit inside the Alri Spacecraft, which will place the sattelite in it's final orbit before undergoing a 10 day mission observing the weather over the northern fishing grounds in an effort to improve Weather Service reports in the area...


One week later...

"So, this thing should be operational and in orbit now?" Vivica Hill said, looking at the techs seated at computers deep in the belly of Ylompic stadium.

"Yes. It should be overhead in approximately 12 minutes." One said, typing at his keyboard.

"When will it be able to take pictures of here?" She said, leaning over his shoulder.

"... 4 minutes, 13 seconds."

"Have it get a series of the square." Hill said, sprinting out of the door and through the security door behind it.

The techs quickly started typing commands into their terminals, chattering over closed-circuit communications channels and checking the status of various uplinks. Quickly, the satellite zoomed it and began taking a quick series of images of Revolution square and Ylompic Stadium. Fifteen minutes later, the beeping of the door lock and ths quiet slide of the door signalled Hill's return to the room.

"I want to see them. Bring up the first set, zoom in on Gate H as close as you can get it."

The picture appeared on a large screen on the side of the room, gradually getting closer and increasing the resolution to see a few people standing outside gate H.

One of which was very clearly flipping off the camera.

"This was the best idea ever. It was worth spending the whole budget." Hill said, laughing. "Who's the first series of?"

"We're figuring Bedistan, in 23 minutes."

"Fantastic. Keep up the excellent work, gentlemen." Hill said. "Put up the next picture."

Actually, you're applying to become the World Cup Sponsor, and the best ones will be chosen.

LivEng Airways to bid to sponsor cup?
Reports have surfaced that LivEng Airways, official airline of World Cup 12 (OOC: I think there was one more cup, can't remember which), will bid to be the official airline of World Cup 29. While this has so far been thoroughly denied by LivEng Airways officials, it is widely-expected in Liverpool England.

Official Transmission
From: "Harvey Jones" <ceo@airwaysle.co.len>
To: "Whomever it may concern"
Re: World Cup sponsorship

Dear Sir/Madam,
Despite what you may have heard, LivEng Airways is interested in becoming the official airline of World Cup 29. We have been the sponsors of two previous cups, and believe World Cup 29 and LivEng Airways will benefit from each other.

Please find attached our offer.

Yours,
Harvey Jones
Chief Executive Officer, LivEng Airways

The Freeland of Sativaville would like to sponsor the alcoholic beverage part by offering to use its #1 best-selling vodka in the land:

GANJA-VODKA


Ganja-Vodka is made from a special four generation recipe. The Vodka is distilled from Hemp Plants and .05 grams of THC is added to give the 100 proof vodka an extra kick. Come in 5 great Flavors: Raspberry, Vanilla, Chocolate, Citrus and new Cool Ranch flavor. Taste the Vodka that will leave you hungry for more: GANJA-VODKA.

The Very Strange Hamlet of Qazox would like to nominate the following companies for sponorship bids for the 29th World Cup:

Airlines/Travel: QAZAir- The only airline that gives you free pillows with no extra charge. (a re-stocking fee may apply)

Fast Food: Burrito King: If you're hungry for some cheap mexican food made by chinese people, then Burrito King isyour place!!

Soft Drinks: Ox-Cola now in Ox-Free and Oxan Dew Blue, TASTE THE OX!!!

AirRV Official Airline of Rorysville will be glad to Provide Airtravel World wide as it does so through 4 International Hubs.

http://www.imgcity.net/server/primary/Air RV b737.jpg
http://www.imgcity.net/server/primary/CANUCK33-2005-jul-20-004.jpg

AirRV features a wide range of Fleet Aircraft from the Standard 737 and 757 Mid Range Aircraft to the 747 and 777 Long Range Aircraft as well as smaller MRJ175's for short hop trips. The Fleet has a substantial Backup Fleet for Maintenance and Charters. AirRV is proud to Sponser any Major event such as teh World Cup.

Yumbo Jumbo Announces Bid

Yumbo Jumbo, ASMV’s, AO’s, and quite possibly the world’s largest supplier of bubble gum has decided it is past time for some more of the most memorable discussions in World Cup Sponsorship history. In WC25, Yumbo Jumbo released a special flavor of bubble gum for each nation competing. In some cases (such as Hypocria’s Hellacious Huckleberry) the release was a complete success. Other more monastic nations disdained the fact that they received a wonderful flavor by stating that it comprised too much of an indulgence for them to partake of it.

Yumbo Jumbo has since expanded into the realm of salt-water taffy and would like to issue a bid to be WC29’s official candy sponsor. If accepted, Yumbo Jumbo will once again provide a separate and unique flavor for each of the competing nations. These flavors will be released in local markets and special multi-flavor packs will also be made available. The wrappers for each nations flavor of taffy will show the logo of the squad as well as the flag of the nation represented.

Yumbo Jumbo will be proud to return to the arena of World Cup Sponsorship if accepted as the official candy sponsor of WC29.

Verona Inc and BazAir have a joint press conference to discuss their bid for the Travel Sponsorship....

"We have put together a unique marketing proposition. As far as we know no other World Cup has been sponsored for Travelling by 2 organisations such as Verona or BazAir." said CEO of Verona Inc, Bill Shakespeare.

"Never before has a coalition of a Car maufacturer and a Airline has emerged to jointly bid for sponsorships. Not only that but the Car manufacturer and the Airline are the most prominent and are the largest of their industries in Bazalonia. Verona, maker of luxury cars such as the Prospero to Stationwagons and Hatchbacks like the Beatrice and Benedict." said the CEO of BazAir Julian Trengrove

"Then theres BazAir the nations most repsected and most profitable airline, we've both got the resources and will to make the upcoming World Cup the best in terms of transportation. Verona and BazAir will combine to make the upcoming world cup, the 29th, the most successful in the WC history. We'll now open up for questions but before we do... GO BAZALOPES!" said Bill

"Tracy Everington, from Bazalonia Today. Julian, What do you think of the proposals of other nations prominent airlines, such as RVAir, QAZAir, LivEng Air?"

"Well... I haven't had the chance to look in detail at their proposals. As such would be anti-competitive behaviour but from what I have heard their proposals are reasonably good. But I am afraid they are missing one thing...

"And that's us." piped in Bill Shakespeare

"Exactly, this is a complete transport solution rather than just people bidding for the right to use the WC as an advertising gimmick." Julian

"Trenton Deen, BazWeekly, Is there a problem with 2 individual organistations bidding together? Can't the sponsorship only be awarded to one company?"

"I'm glad you've asked that question.... We also wish to announce a joint venture called Baz Road & Air... 'whether by road or Air we'll get it there'. It will be funded by Verona and BazAir but will be an individual entity with it's own organisational structure." stated Bill

"We have not yet properly worked out the structure of it but Gregoey packs will be the CEO. Baz Road & Air will use Verona's BigVen branded trucks and BazAir's frieght and/or passenger planes to transport goods from one side of Bazalonia to the other and it will be under the legal title of Baz Road & Air that we will be bidding for the sponsorship." finished off Julian

"Thank you everyone for coming, this is where we are going to have to leave it."

and with that the press conference ended

NMSoft to put forth another edition of World Cup Football

"We're ba-ack, baybee!" - spokesman

NEW MONTREAL - NMSoft has leapt back into the ring of World Cup sponsorship with an announcement that it will release World Cup Football 29 on all major consoles and PC platforms around the world "gradually, over the span of several months."

"We'll be liscensing out to local firms mostly," said a company spokeman. "NMS will get it released, then the rest of the top 32, then the rest of the world in bits and pieces."

"We were trying for a simultaneous release," he added, "But 122 countries at once? Yeah, right. That would be a total godmod."

NMSoft has also announced that it would bid to be the official technology sponsor of the 29th World Cup.

"We offer a wide range of innovative products and solutions in software, hardware, and other consumer goods both at home and abroad," continued the spokesman. "But we doubt the judges give a crap, so we figured we'd send them a nice new 61-inch plasma, a console and copies of the game a week before it gets released in Krytenia and Casari."

A special announcement from the Ministry of Morale

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Thank you.

The Isangrad Times

Tsar George's American Fried Chicken Wants To Be The Fast Food of the Season!

SANKT VALERIAN, MAGNUS VALERIUS -- At the headquarters of Tsar George's American Fried Chicken in Sankt Valerian, Magnus Valerius's largest fast food chain, the CEO, Grigor Ippolitov, announced that he has made a bid for having his company sponsor World Cup 29 with his brand name of tasty chicken, chicken sandwiches, baked potatoes and the like. The brand name, which started back in 1954, now has over one thousand locales within the Grand Empire, serving Valerians (rather) healthy yet fast food.

"We plan to gain acclaim across the seas. For too long, people in other nations have not taken a bite, if you will, into our business. In this World Cup, I hope this will change," quipped Ippolitov.

Also known as Tsar George's or TGAFC for short, the company places its virtues of healthiness by cooking their chicken in 100% Extra Virgin Olive Oil, and offering healthy side dishes like salads and baked potato slices and skins (despite, of course, saying that their chicken is 'American fried'; then again, Valerians never really fried chicken until Americana seeped into the nation). Of course, there are the unhealthy items, like macaroni and cheese. Tsar George's has a wide appeal in Magnus Valerius, and it hopes to make a similar impact on the world.

Tsar George's uses a cute caricature of perhaps one of the greatest Valerian rulers, Emperor George I, as their mascot, toting a bucket of their fried chicken. George I united the last minor states in Magnus Valerius to form the Grand Empire, so Tsar George's uses a slogan that plays off this little piece of history: "All that George ever wanted was the perfect fried chicken. He endlessly campaigned across the nation until he found what he was looking for, at TGAFC."

However, if internationalization is to happen, Tsar George's will have to remove some items Valerians find delectable, yet may be disgust foreigners. For example, Valerians can't get enough of those fried chicken feet; such an item might appall any non-Valerian. The boiled beet, radish, lentil, and mustard green chicken stew (called Voreshk in Valerian) might not also be appealing to overseas customers, even though it is a traditional Valerian soup. Still, Ippolitov is hopeful that he will be able to open up a Tsar George’s across the world, in Casari and Krytenia especially. He wants the football fans chomping down on a Tsar George’s leg or breast while watching the games. Ippolitov wants to hand out TGAFC’s bright blue and white buckets for everyone, enjoying World Cup 29, and the World Cups to come.

THE MONASTIC TIMES

MFA MAKE SPONSORSHIP BID
Confusion Reigns Over Uncharacteristic Flirtation with Godless Capitalism

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

The Monastic Football Association today caused widespread confusion both within the Archregimancy and World Cup co-hosts Krytenia and Casari by announcing a bid to become the official suppliers of Holy Icons to World Cup 29.

"Just look at the craftsmanship!" said a senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity while holding an icon of St. Bessarion the Wonderworker of Egypt - whose memory we indeed venerate this day. "How can anyone turn down the opportunity to own one of these magnificent items? We fully expect support for our bid to be forthcoming from both New Montreal States and Magnus Valerius" he added, before unveiling a particularly inspirational icon of the 377 Martyred Companions in Bulgaria and inviting the assembled media to tuck into some delectable Valerian fried chicken feet and voreshk.

A spokesman for the MFA was, however, unwilling to respond to this reporter's request for an interview following revelations that the World Cup hosts are not in fact seeking an official sponsor of Orthodox Icons, that with the possible exception of the Holy Icon of the Mother of God Bringer of Victories the connection to football was at best tangential, and that as schismatic Catholics, the Casarans were particularly unlikely to look upon the offer favourably.

Lioness "With all these 'Official Sponsors' of the World Cup... Do you reckon we could put up Contracts up as the WC's official hitsquad?"

"uhhh... I don't think they'd accept that..." stated an anonymous man in Lionesses office.

"Yeah... you probably are right." she said as she walked over to the wall and looked at a pair of swords adorning the wall... She picked one up and in a lightning movement threw the sword through the man impaling him and fell to the ground. She walked over to him and stated... "but it's not something you say to me." withdrawing the sword, cleaning it and putting it back up on the wall before calling someone in to deal with the body from Soylent Industries the nations major provider of Soylent products.

"Hmm... I really think we should thank that mans parents.... nah., can't be bothered." and then went to inspect Natural Stadium which once again be where the nation hosts it's international visitors.

Creamly bids for sponsoring option!

Creamly representatives have been sighted in Krytenia, only weeks (albeit quite a lot of them) before the world cup starts!

Creamly quickly made a press statement :

"Um... Well... Let's start. Creamly are in Krytenia to discuss sponsorship with Krytenia for the upcoming world cup. Uhh... We're intending to hold strong discussions with Krytenia representatives to become the official "Soft Fudge" and "Warm Treacle" suppliers of the world cup. Ehh... It's... Important for us to let people outside New Cyberia know that we exist... And as the #6 in the world for Treacle and #14 in the world for Fudge, we're prepared to dosh out what it takes to increase.. Ehh.. Umm... Knowlege of Treacle and Fudge around the world."

Somewhere in the CBBC offices

“Are you sure we want to do it?”

The PR Manager shrugged. He was a tall, muscular man, and being a nudist suited him well – as well as painting his body with several tattoos looking like a variety of bunnies hopping all over his bare flesh. That was also why the company kept promoting him – he was a symbol of a man who dedicated even his very flesh to the corporation, and was not afraid to show it to the world.

“I am sure. This would improve our lot all over the world cup nations. It could even rescue us from total downfall in Rejistania.”

“This would require a miracle.”

“I am the miracle.” – chuckled the manager.

The CEO giggled uncontrollably. “Michael, the eckies are getting to you.” You shouldn’t be having all of… heee!” - he reached at one of the pink pills spread on his table and swallowed it. The manager shrugged – he never even touched one – you don’t argue with your CEO over his stash.

Michael brought his own stash for this very reason.

* * * *

Official Application of the Cute Bunny Burger Corporation

Cute Bunny Burger Corporation is one of the biggest producers of fast food in the world, with over 1,300,000 branches world wide. We also supply food to several world militaries and are in negotiation with a certain socialist nation to daily supply it’s citizens with free dinners.

The Cute Bunny Burger Corporation would like, of course, to sponsor the World Cup – with a 120 billion dollar per year profit, that’ll be easy. We are offering several things as part of our World Cup Sponsorship Package:



We will provide free security at all WC events, provided by the CBSF (Cute Bunny Security Forces), as we already do in some Baptism of Fire Events.

We will provide a sum of $atrociously_huge_amount to sponsor the World Cup Event, sufficient to cut all ticket prices down by 50%.

We will provide food at the event for a discount of 75% of the usual CBBC prices available in the hosting country.

We will provide the champion team, no matter who they will be, an award of ten million dollars per player.

We will institute a lottery to award three random visitors of the World Cup events a million dollars each, and a 160-acre homestead in Allanea to call his own.

We will institute another lottery, to award 256 random visitors of the World Cup events a free car each.



Sincerely yours, the Cute Bunny Burger Corporation

“What do you mean, you’re pregnant?”

In the locker room of Stade National Rêvane-Sud, where most of the team had gathered for yet another day of training, Hanifah Kyaw squirmed uncomfortably on the bench. Beside her stood her husband and team mate Aush Song, looking both embarrassed and defensive.

“It was an accident, coach,” he answered in her place, awkwardly. Then, perhaps realising how that had sounded, amended, “I mean. . . We didn’t do it on purpose.”

“Yes, thank you, I know what an accidental pregnancy is,” an irritable Evgheny Melenciuc snapped. “And I asked her, Aush, not you.”

The Arctic Islander fell silent. Kyaw looked up, her face red with embarrassment.
“Really, it wasn’t planned,” she said in a small voice.

Melenciuc rolled his eyes, took a deep breath, and sighed.
“Unplanned or not,” he said at last, “you’re obviously not going to be able to play. I’m going to have to pull you off the team. Hopefully it’s not too late to find you a replacement.”

“Coach!” Kyaw exclaimed in dismay.

“Now look, you can’t do that!” Song protested, beginning to panic. “She’s the best player on the team! Coach, please!”

“What I can’t do is allow a woman with a football-sized lump over her belly to run around the pitch getting knocked about,” Melenciuc said, annoyed. “How far pregnant are you, anyway?”

“Five weeks,” Kyaw said miserably. “More or less. I can still play the first few games!” she added quickly, hopefully.

“I’ll put Cyril in your place,” Melenciuc said firmly. “Or perhaps Chloé. Or young Tadjou; he’s got a promising career ahead of him.”

Kyaw bent her head, her lower lip quivering. Song hesitated, then motioned the coach off to the side.

“She is our best player,” he said quietly. “And she can still play one or two games. If we qualify, there’ll be more than enough time for you to select a new temp’ midfielder. And it means a lot to her.” He paused. “Please?”

Melenciuc looked at him hard for a long while, then sighed.
“You kids,” he muttered at last. “All right,” he spoke up more loudly. “Hanifah, you’re on. Just for the first game or two,” he added quickly, as she looked up at him with a bright smile of relief. “And if the doctors say you’re out, you’re out, no arguing.”

“Thank you, coach!” Kyaw stood and ran up to him, hugging him. “You won’t regret this! I’ll score lots and lots of goals!”

Melenciuc grunted, and extricated himself from the hug.
“You’d better. And you” – he pointed at Song – “when you’re on the field, I don’t want to see a single attacker get past you. Or you can forget about ever being a starter.”

Song just grinned.

“Anyway. . .” The coach’s tone softened at last. “I’m happy for you both. Even if you picked the worst possible time, damn you!” He paused. “Is it a boy or a girl?”

“We don’t know yet,” Kyaw said cheerily, her relief making her excessively cheerful. “If it’s a boy, perhaps we’ll call him Evgheny, coach.”

“Don’t you dare,” Melenciuc warned. He pointed towards the door. “Now get out there, both of you. Warm up for training. And you can both do a few extra laps for the sake of it!” he called after them as they hurried out of the locker room.

Long-deceased player makes Hall of Fame

Amidst the excitement leading up to the start of the World Cup’s twenty-ninth edition, the Ariddian Football Association today announced the name of the fifth Ariddian player to be added to the prestigious Hall of Fame (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/World_Cup_Hall_of_Fame). Major contenders were Ranjit Khan (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ranjit_Khan), who captained the team from World Cup 5 to World Cup 10, Tina Realm (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Tina_Realm), a defender who joined the national side in World Cup 2, and Hanifah Kyaw (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Hanifah_Kyaw), the only contender to be still alive and active today.

“These are three of the most skilled and dedicated people ever to have represented their country on the stage of international football,” AFA President Anna Teals said. “Their performance has made this nation proud, and they have shown to the entire world the skill of Ariddian footballers, from the earliest times of the Cup all the way until today.

While all three, and many more, deserve recognition, it has been decided that Tina Realm will be honoured and immortalised with a place in the Hall of Fame. Comrade Realm was never appreciated to her true value during her lifetime, and it took the eyes of foreign football fans to draw the attention of Ariddian supporters to her tremendous skill.

She was one of the world’s very best football players in her time, and she will no longer be forgotten to the mists of history. Thank you, Comrades, and enjoy the next World Cup. Bonne chance aux Rouge-et-Noirs. Vive la République Sociale. Vive l’Ariddia.”

Pepco Cola Seeks World Cup Sponsorship

Pepco Cola, the official soft drink for Tynelian Soccer of all levels of play seek to place a bid to be one of the sponsors of the 29th World Cup. We will provide delicious Pepco Cola to all involved stadiums for only 10% above the cost to make it which is well below retail value. A bit risky? perhaps but Pepco is certain that once fans around the world try of refreshing soft drink that new international business will more than make up for any losses in shipping.

And to show Pepco's devotion to the sport here's a film of our first soccer related commercial a few years back... Naturally updated commericals featuring this years Cup contenders will also be made.

<film begins>

<a voice begins speaking in the background as film from what looks like a soccer game is taking place as the camera zooms in and focuses on the goal keeper as he makes a leaping save>

“And another amazing save by Vladimar Malloy. The Wall is standing strong today!”

<Malloy dives and makes another save>

“Can anyone get a shot past the Wall? He’s stopping everything out there!”

<camera zooms in on Malloy’s sweaty face his eyes narrowed in concentration as the opposing team steals the ball and heads towards him. He sees a flash of light to the side and looks over briefly where he sees a cheerleader holding a bottle of ice cold Pepco Cola in her hand>

<Malloys looks at the opponent, then the bottle, then the opponent again.>

<Camera now watches the ball handler continue down field and look up preparing to take his shot. Suddenly the attacker has a confused look on his face and he stops in his tracks. The camera now turns back to Malloy at the goal… and shows an now empty net as the ball slowly trickles into the net as the opposing team begins to celebrate.>

<The camera finds Malloy on the sidelines next to the cheerleader drinking from the bottle of Pepco and after a finishing half the bottle he pauses and says “Ahhh” contentedly then turns and smiles at the camera saying.>

“Even a Wall vill move for a ice cold bottle of Pepco.”

<Pepco jingle begins and the announcer comments>

“Pepco- the proud supporter and official soda of the Tynelian national soccer team. Bring the Cup home people!”

From: Phil Wait <marketing@jtek.com.jew>
To: Person in charge of Offical World Cup Sponsorships
RE: Applications for Offical World Cup Sponsorships are being sought in the following categories: Technology

We at JTeK are followers of the round ball game, the NS game. It's time JTeK do their bit to help the organiser of the World Cup make their tournament better.

We are applying as official World Cup sponsors. As Jeruselem's number one IT contractors, we can make life easier for you. In each city hosting World Cup games, we will be building Internet kiosks for those soccer fans who want to contact home on the Internet, or maybe chat about the latest results on NS or Skype. These will be FREE but we will be charging for optional energy drinks as an additional service at a discount compared to commercial prices.

Lucky customers get chance to win state-of-the-art PDA mobile phones if they spend a certain amount of time at the kiosk. They'll also be the usual freebees and giveaways.

Not only that, we will have 24x7 World Cup video streaming service running to those who can't make it to the games due to bosses who don't understand sport fanatics. Yes, we will provide this service (not free) to subscribers on their computers or Internet TVs in conjunction with Jeruselem Governmment News Sports Broadcoasting who will be providing the content.

We maybe a bunch of geeks who do boring stuff with computers and networks as well as the stereotypical programming, but we love soccer too. We do have a soccer team but the local under tens can beat us.

We hope he can help make the World Cup XXIX a success.
God bless

The National Informant



The Team makes another Run for The Cup!

The Team, that miserable gang of unwanted persons, has once again found itself entered itself in the World Cup. We're not sure what the government thinks it's doing, because last time, The Team lost not a single player the entire time, and won an unexpected amount of games. They never qualified for anything, mind, but this time, who knows? With a new, fresh, ferocious team, they might have a chance.
Oh, all right. We admit it, we can't even write that with a straight face.
The Team once again has found itself in another position of inevitable loss and humiliation, because they don't know how to play football.

We expect them to fail to qualify once agian, and we hope they lose even more, because the riots their unprecedented winning streak caused last time was rather destructive.

And Remember...

http://www.abc.net.au/science/news/img/health/tea_cup.jpg

Greycoldandugly Mts. Tea!™ Bringing that horribly bitter taste to your home, and quite possibly ruining your entire World Cup experience!
Greycoldandugly Mts. Tea™ is looking to Sponser your 29th World Cup!

NOVA RICHMOND-Today it was announced that Ukrops intentions to become Official World Cup Supermarket for the matches bothe duing qualifiers and the actual Tournament.as most VaNovians know Ukrops history in sports has been important to the development of Sports culture in VN, as they own Soccer,Racing,and Grid-Iron Teams and are also sponsers of VaNova's National stadium. Ukrops has also said that they would Be more than happy to vendor at the stadiums in Krytenia and Casari.


OOC note for Kry and Cas: This Is gonna Be For Official Supermarket not Fast Food.

Blood-curdling screams are never usually a good thing to hear. When it involves two of your male defenders slide-tackling one another at the same time, and hitting each other in the groin, it's not a good thing by any stretch of the imagination. And when one of them manages to break his ankle, it becomes worse. But for Damon Arnaud's injury and Mike Spillane's...incapacitation, there was a silver lining. Or, to be more accurate, a stainless steel lining.

'And you say these things are...'

'Perfectly mobile, Mr. Boss sir,' chirped new Psycho assistant manager Chloe Frost. Official boss Serik Leshko - his appointment had been confirmed just two days after the Psychos' unlucky exit from the WC28 group stages - perused their new acquisitions with a smile on his face.

Around a month before, the MFA had received a series of e-mails from Point Zero Electronics alerting them to major new development in the field of robotics. The company claimed that their robots were as mobile as any human and could lift up to twenty times their own body weight with ease - and considering each robot weighs two hundred pounds, it wasn't a claim to be made lightly.

The use of the robots for the MFA was obvious - if they lived up to the claims of being faster, stronger and better than anything else on the market, why, they asked, could the robots not be used for sporting purposes? No-one could answer, simply because there was no answer to be found. Hence why Leshko and Frost - rumoured to be the assistant manager in much the same way as a woman is made a trophy wife - were admiring the first of their new players.

It was a nice piece of work. Coloured with a 'replica kit' already, the machine was ready to go.

'Turn it on, Chloe.'

The robot's eyes glowed briefly, then dimmed once again. Leshko looked around in puzzlement.

'What happened?'

'Says here in the manual we need to charge them.'

'What? How long for?'

'A week.'

'WHA? Damn thing's going to miss the first goddamn game!'

'But after that, it'll run for about a week non-stop.'

'Dammit, Chloe, if you weren't such a good cocksucker I'd have fired you a hundred times over by now.'

'I know, sir. I know.'

"Welcome back to the Haraki News Netowrk Sports Section! I'm Sam Sherman-"

"And I'm Rebecca Bristol-"

"-and tonight we're going to be taking a look at the upcoming World Cup. The highlight of our time today will be a highlight reel of some things from the last season, highlighting some players we think will be key on Haraki's team this year."

"The highlight of our feature is a highlights reel?"

"Ha ha ha?"

Bristol shook her head. "Whatever. First of all, as some of you who have been following football more closely may know, Haraki, following the most recent World Cup rankings, is ranked 31st in the world, placing us in the 'big 32', so to speak. And now, we'll continue our commentary over the highlight reel. Sam, take it away."

The view shifts to a shot of the football field, with Kiros Tigers colours flashing as the Tigers play the Vidaen Whites. Mike Zendar, in the captain's uniform, blitzes his way down the field, bicycle kicking the ball over a defender some observant viewers recognize as Haraki Hawks defenceman Gary Willis and kicking it as it drops down to slam it into the back of the net. Sam Sherman's obnoxious screams can be heard in the background. "Amazing!"

"That," Bristol added, "was Haraki Hawks - and Kiros Tigers - captain Mike Zendar slamming in what was rated the number one goal of the season by the Haraki Football Association's viewers and voting public. The Hawks' coach, Lloyd Vargas, is hoping that Zendar, who has been decried as aging and losing his touch, will be able to add to his scoring streak."

As the view shifts to the Kiros Tigers playing the number two rated Atherlon United, Bristol's voice continues. "Mike Zendar has scored more than any other player in Harakian history. In the last six years of international competition, Zendar has scored 30 of Haraki's 85 goals, and his scoring percentage has been increasing with every cup. Some analysts are expecting Zendar to take even as much as half of Haraki's goals in World Cup XXIX."

As she says this, on the screen Mike Zendar manages to kick the ball through star midfield Manuel Cortes' legs, sprinting to catch up with it, faking out a defender and burning the last one with speed to be left one-on-one with the goalie, at which point Zendar manages to fake a right kick and then tap the ball around AUFC's keeper, Bobbie Morris, with his left foot, sprinting to catch it and simply rolling it in.

As the footage shifted to Zendar scoring with a header against the Isasi Warriors, Bristol showed her disapproval. "Um ... Sam, all these clips are of-"

...Mike Zendar scoring from near half with a blistertingly fast shot against Viusa Centre...

...Mike Zendar leaping into the air to kick a high ball into the Blues' net from where one of his midfields' kicks was deflected off another player...

...Mike Zendar bouncing the ball off a defender's shins before slide-kicking it in for a goal against Viusa Centre...

The footage paused in a freezeframe for a second before cutting back to the two news anchors, with Rebecca Bristol clearly annoyed.

"All these clips are of Mike Zendar! Sam, what are you trying to pull? I just looked at your clip list!"

"He's the best player the Hawks have got! He's their only chance for a cup!"

She shook her head. "Thankfully, I selected a few of my own which we will now play. Since my first two were also of Mike Zendar, including the bicycle kick one, we'll skip ahead to Chirs O'Hara."

The view shifted to a U21 test match against Lake Lidane FC, where U21 goalkeeper Christopher O'Hara, already hailed as the next star in Harakian football was facing off against a Lake Lidane forward. An almost sure goal was kicked by the forward into the bottom opposite corner from where O'Hara was, only to have him slide in and kick it away. A moment later he was on his feet, diving across the net to slap away a rebound shot by a Lake Lidane forward, and a moment later, all in the same shot, leaping into the air to catch it in his fingers far above his head. Bristol's voice cut in. "This is Haraki's U21 team's star goalkeeper, Christopher O'Hara, versus Lake Lidane FC. As you can see, three shots right then should have made it in, only to be stopped. However, O'Hara is only the team's reserve keeper, as the starting slot goes to the famous Mark Stone."

The footage cut to Mark Stone, in his North Susa FC colours, standing calmly in the net, beads of sweat rolling down his face. An Arkia Serpents offensive drive set up a perfect scoring opportunity which Samantha Ribald took the shot for, only to have Mark Stone, with no hesitation, dive across the goal, sliding in the dirt, to catch it in his right hand and kick it back out.

"Surprisingly enough," Bristol threw in, "Mark Stone actually managed to get a goal in the season, against Phemo FC." As the footage cut to the clip she was describing, she carried on. "You can see here Stone has the ball, at the edge of his creas.e He decides to clear it with a kick, which sails through the air, spinning and wobbling slightly, making it a bit unpredictable. It bounces right in front of Phemo's net, and the Phemo goalkeeper seems not to believe Stone could score on him. Then the bounce carries it into the top of the net, and every fan in the crowd leaps to their feet. You can see it here."

As the footage cut back to the two anchors, Sherman cut in. "I believe the two most influential players this year will be Mike Zendar and Mark Stone. The two of them make an excellent team, with Stone stopping so many shots and Zendar managing to score so many for the Hawks."

Bristol nodded. "We can't forget the midfield game, though, or the other forwards. Even a few of the defenders have some star moments, especially Jonah Menike, who distinguished himself two cups ago in World Cup XXVII."

The footage cut through a Matthew Thompson goal against the Isasi Warriors from far out, bouncing it past the keeper off a high ball, through to Manuel Cortes scoring a trademark sliing sideways kick into a goal against the Warriors, into Samantha Ribald outrunning the entire opposing team only to be stopped from scoring by Atherlon United's Bobbie Morris, into Julie Vern deking out four other players before making a long high kick to Alicia Ribald, who headed the ball into the net, to Thomas Neils making a pass the entire length of the field so Richard Weber could pull off a sizzling goal into the top corner, to Weber alone making some fancy footwork along the centre of the field around three players before scoring with a curved ball that the keeper simply couldn't predict, and finally to Jonah Menike sliding in to kick away a ball that would have been a perfect goal and in the process getting cleated in the face, blood driping from his nose as he rose, grinning.

"That last clip brings me to an interesting point about Jonah Menike," Sherman said as the footage came back to the anchors, "when he was in high school in Kiros he played for the school badminton, football, rugby and extreme football teams."

"Really?" Bristol asked, unconvinced.

Sherman nodded. "It's true. He played badminton for both his junior years in the end of winter for several games, played starter rugby in the fall and winter as a centre, and played football in the spring as a defender."

"You left out extreme football, Sam."

"Oh right. In his two senior years he was convinced, due to his fondness for football and rugby, to play extreme football by his coaches, and he played that in the early fall for both his senior years."

"I didn't know that, Sam. Thank you. By the way, what relevance does this have to the game?"

"Well, the clip we just say has him grinning after nearly breaking his nose and getting himself a cut that needed six stitches on the side of his nose. That's basically the hallmark of a good rugby player."

Bristol shrugged concedingly. "I suppose so. Thank you, Sam." Turning back to the camera, she closed the show with a "That's all the time we have left. Goodbye for now, and we'll see you again tomorrow for more pre-World Cup footage and analysis, dealing with each player individually."

Tajair Sponsorship cancelled

Despite plans made by both the main shareholder, the Tadjik government and the CEO, Vladimir Mikhailov, Tajair cancelled its proposal to sponsor WC29. CEO Vladimir Mikhailov saw his planes carry passenger from and to cities in various nations participating in the World Cup qualifications and even wanted to special fares and extra options.

But the plans were cancelled at the last moment by minister of Transport Sherali Khairullayev, who does not believe in "wonderplans", 'Tajair will make profit without an official WC29 sponsorship as we do every World Cup. This sponsorship will force us to spend millions of Somoni's without the guarantee that we'll actually be a sponsor. In such case I would rather give that money to our and visiting fans during the World Cup Qualifications and the Cup itself in the form of cheap tickets. This will allow us to live up to the special role that Tajair plays. Lets remember that this company is run by the state and it must thus make profit and or serve the Tadjik taxpayer.'
'I know that Mr Mikhailov made plans but he'll have to give them up. If he really wants to run for Official sponsor, he can try it as CEO of one of the many private airlines of Tadjikistan, though I doubt that, if they have the funds required for this bid, they'd be willing to actually go through with it.'

And thus, as the minister of Transport stated, Tajair will provide flights from and to Dushanbe at democratic prices for Tadjiks and foreigners. During away matches, special World Cup farees will be offered to fans flying from other Tadjik cities

http://users.pandora.be/bdc/Tadj/fhpfh20.jpg
Khairullayev: 'Tadjik taxes paid this plane, therefore it must serve Tadjik taxpayers'

http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/ediraflogo.jpg (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ediraf)

Ediraf Application for World Cup 29 Sponsorship

In Starblaydia and Druida, Ediraf was there. In Kaze Progressa and Rejistania, Ediraf was there. Now, in Krytenia and Casari, back in Atlantian Oceania, Ediraf can be there again. As one of the world's leading sportwear manufacturers, Ediraf knows what it takes to provide the best players in the world with exactly what they require. World Champions, AO Regional Champions, Cup of Harmony Champions, National League Champions and Champions League Winners have all used Ediraf-made kit in their victories, from match uniforms to boots to training gear to leisurewear. Ediraf does it all and Ediraf does it best.

As such, Ediraf are bidding for the Sports Equipment Sponsor. We will provide:

Equipment for Referees and their assistants, plus ball-boys and -girls.
Advertising for World Cup 29 in Krytenia and Casari on all Ediraf advertising campaigns and packaging
Competitions and prizes tied in with Fast Food, Soft Drinks, Alcoholic Beverages and Technology
Ediraf's image and kit rights will be available for purchase at an afforable price for, for example, NMSoft's World Cup 29 computer game, assuring that buyers of the World Cup's official computer game will see official kits in all their glory.


So, with Ediraf as the Sports Clothing Sponsor for a third time, the future of sports clothing will be in excellent, experienced hands.

Ediraf Corp.
2120 Reuleshuf Road,
Vecchio,
Victora Province
Starblaydia


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http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Starblaydia/orcinuslogo.jpg (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Orcinus)

Orcinus and World Cup 29 - The Perfect Mixer

The Orca Partyship, surrounded by beautiful people, sipping gorgeous drinks in the seas of the most successful sporting region in the world. That can be the prize for competition winners from each of the 122 (to be confirmed) nations during the World Cup.

Orcinus' world-leading brand of vodka-based drinks cater for all tastes, whether mixed with whatever leading-brand of cola, or other soft drink, the Cup organisers wish to choose, or whether served up in its delicious FKB bottled form - which will come served in plastic or cardboard cups for the duration of the tournament.

Please enjoy Orcinus-brand vodka responsibly

Now may be a good time to mention the fact that I, Orcinus CEO, will be moving to Krytenia at the most immediate possible date, once I find a suitable home/palace/villa/mansion which can be appropriately fortified. See here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11017355&postcount=16) for details.

New-Lexingtons Largest Sportswear Company Vies for Sponsorship
New-Lexington Press United
Today New-Lexington's largest sportswear company C20 has applied to be the official sponsor of World Cup 29. C20, which employs nearly 74 million workers in New-Lexington, and has a near monopoly in the buisness. C20 CEO Bryan Villareal announced today "We hope to expand our market outside of New-Lexington and we can think of no better way to do it." C20's most popular product, the Explode Shoe has sold 22,000,000 units in New-Lexington alone.

Chicanada Daily Rabbler

CFA Approves Surprising Change
Agree To Stars On Logos, National Team Change

Eastentown - The CFA announced by large the greatest change in the history of Kodiak Football.

Make that Stars Football.

National Coach Yerevan Malli and the CFA board agreed to allow the Kodiak nickname to fall to the wayside as the Mens National Team is officially known as the Orange Stars.

Malli, who resigned from Astur Depot recently due to the team's current position in the second tier of the CFL, said that the decision to change the team nick was a means of starting the "new era of Chicanada Football fresh and on the right track."

He does have a point about starting over, as the OSers (suggested by Chicanada Sports Federation Presdium Jaquee) begin with fewer internationals making the field, especially with Olani Pjan becomming the head coach of Risa-Aramour's Mens National Side. With the team's captain leaving and prenominat keeper Raslan Seregn ending his run of internationals to begin coaching at Inverness the team will become more dependent on the young guns.

Malli is expected to announce his team and assistants after the draw has been announced. Nearly 60 players from the CFA and the Womens League are expected to be in contention for the squad at this time.

In other CFA news the board agreed to allow, for domestic use only, club sides to add stars to their team emblems to symbolize their performances. Clubs with three top-flight titles can add one gold star, three CFA Cups earns a blue star, three Premier Cups earns a green star and 8 League Cups earns a silver star. Any CFA-santioned club that wins the NS Champions League or NSFA Cup will be able to add a larger gold star (with red trim) to their logos and be allowed on all kits. CFL Chair Yejen Lian said the decision was reached after discussions with the clubs. Considering stars are normally for international trophies, the clubs were forced to compromise on the design and color scheme along with the limit, otherwise Astur City would have to somehow find space for 17 little gold stars for the titles won since joining the CFU in 1929. The larger star would be on domestic kits while for international competitions a simple gold star would be featured, the spokesperson said.

Since the Kodiak Nation still has yet to win any major international tourneys, no stars are added to the Stars or Kodiaks (the women's team maintains the Kodiak name) at this time and domestic clubs competing in the NSCL and NSFA Cup will not be allowed to use the "Star" logo. the Womens Team will feature a small circle above the CFA logo representing their Ylompics Gold Medal, a CFA spokesperson said later. Should the Womens team win a World Cup the circle will be enlaid into the star.

As part of its bid to become the Offical Fast Food Restaurant of the 29th World Cup (tm). Burrito king is proud to present is World Cup Menu. All prices are in local currency.

BURRITO KING MENU

Prince's Burrito- $1.49- 1/2 lbs. of meat cheese, salsa and lettuce wrapped in a hard corn shell.

King's Burrito- $1.99- 1 lb. of meat, cheese, salsa, lettuce and special sauce wrapped in a hard corn shell.

Monk's Burrito- $1.49- Meatless version of the Prince Burrito.

Priest's Burrito- $1.99- Meatless Version of the King Burrito.

Squire's Burrito- $.79- Smaller, 1/4lbs version of the Prince Burrito (for the Kids)

Princess' Taco- $1.49- Same as the Prince's, but in a soft corn shell.

Queen's Taco- $1.99- Same as the King's, but in a soft corn shell.

Emperor's Salad-$2.19- The King Burrito, but in a Fried corn shell, with choice of dressings: Ranch, Mexican, Russian or Bleu Cheese.

Empress' Salad- $2.19- The same as the Priest's Burrito, but in a Fried corn shell, with choice of dressings: Ranch, Mexican, Russian or Bleu Cheese.

Nachos- Small $.99-- Medium--$1.39-- Large-- $1.79-- EXtra Grande--$2.09

Drinks (Ox-Cola, diet Ox-Cola, Ox-Free, Oxan Dew Blue, Oxan Dew Red, Oxan Dew, and Diet Oxan Dew)- Small $.99-- Medium $1.19-- Large-- $1.49

Sauces- Mild, Hot, Very Hot, Volcanic, Cool Ranch.

Sour Cream, Jalapenos, Habeneros, and Gucamole available upon request.

Value Menu

#1- Either the Prince's or Monk's Burrito or Princess' Taco, medium Nachos and Medium Drink- $3.65 (Go HUGE add a large order of nachos or drink- additional $.25, add both additional $.40, Extra Grande Nacho additional $.35)

#2- Either the King's or Priest's Burrito or Queen's Taco, Medium Nachos and Medium Drink $4.00 (Go HUGE add a large order of nachos or drink- additional $.25, add both additional $.40, Extra Grande Nacho additional $.35)

#3- Kid's Meal- a Squires Burrito, Small Nachos and Small Drink- $2.60

#4- Either the Emperor's or Empress' Salads, Medium Nacho and Medium Drink- $3.90 (Go HUGE add a large order of nachos or drink- additional $.25, add both additional $.40, Extra Grande Nacho additional $.35)

please note that in lab tests, Burrito King items have caused the following promblems in lab rats- Expolsive Diarrihea, Heartburn, Indigestion, Upset Stomach, Pancreatic Cancer, Male Pattern Baldness, The Heebie-Jeebies, RockandRoll Pnemonia and the Boogie-Woggie Flu. Of you must eat at Burrito King, please call you doctor in advance and request a triple-bypass.

The Schiavone Scribe
Ready To RUM-ble

Schiavone company Jungle Rum Ltd have announced that they will be putting forth a bid to sponsor World Cup 29 as the official alcoholic beverage partner of the event.

Jungle Rum, famous for their popular drinks such as Jungle Rum, Jungle Rum and Coke and the infamous Jungle Juice, will be looking to find an international market for their products, which originate from the town of Ventude on Schiavonia's most South-Eastern island Scistin.

"We feel that rum is one of the most under-rated alcoholic drinks around," said Chairman William Winston, "and our intention is to raise the profile of rum and other drinks, such as gin and absynthe, and get them to a wider audience."

The company have also confirmed that, if their application is successful, they will start to sell a new Jungle Ale at all stadia to be used at the finals, as well as inviting other local breweries to sell their wares on the premises too.

Winston told us, "It's important that, while we see the corporate side ofthe World Cup, we also get to see the side of the local host cities and nations. Of course, we will take a percentage of their takings, but then we'd be paying the hosting committee so much, it would only be fair!"

Elven Times

In prepartion for World Cup 29, we will be taking a look at the key players of the Marauders as they hope to make a splash in their first Cup. The Marauders, who have won the majority of regional tournaments and competitions, have finnaly decided to enter the world scene. As such, the ESC has placed an order for new kits, and has added new talent to the already stacked lineup.

Martin St. Louis is renouned throughout TYW as one of the most active and intimidating goalies in the region. His daring runs to steal the ball right off the feet of oncoming strikers and quick recovery time are the keys to his success. The Marauders will be leaning on his skill to help them steal some games against more expierenced teams.

Dwier Titenburg has been the face of ESF sports for nearly a decade now. Whether out on the pitch stopping attackers dead in their tracks, or on the ice punishing forwards, he is one of the greatest athletes ESF has ever produced. He has deceptive speed, and can deliver corner with the best of them.

Rick Cuellar has been impressings his coaches since he first made it into the Star League, ESF Amutuer League, at an early age. He has the uncanny ability to see plays before they happen and can get the ball to the forwards with an accuracy unheard of for a player of his expierence. Since Florintine has taken charge of his training, his striking ability has streadily been improving.

Kyla Night or "The Devil's Kiss" as some call her is the best striker in ESF history with 21 goals in 30 international matches. Her deadly speed and striking ability seem to indicate that she will be tormenting defences for years to come.

Captain Zacharius is the heart and soul of the Marauders. He is the most international expierenced players on the team with 58 international appearances with the Marauders. He is an average striker, but Florintine keeps him as a starter and captain for his leadership ability and awareness of all things that go on on the pitch.

There are the stars of our national side, each hoping they can help push the side to an acceptable result in their first WC. With the latest in sports news, this is Ron Santapa signing off.

Bastille Drinks
http://www.enjoybastille.ke/logo (http://img146.imageshack.us/img146/2466/bastilemain3vs.png)

Founded in a small tavern on the streets of Paris on the revolutionary morning of July 1789, the Bastille Alcoholic Beverage Company has been since one of the most popular alcohol distributer to France and it's colonies. Relocating to Ajaccio, than known as Ajax, the capital of British Kelsey, the BABC, or Bastille Drinks, in 1812, the company still retained its French heritage while picking up a few British traditions. Through the colonial times, Bastille Drinks has always been Kelse's favorite provider of sinful treats, nowadays ranging from the party drink Carnivale, the traditional Classique, and of course the original, Bastille Beer. And now, Bastille whiches to expand out of the regional market, and onto the international stage by becoming the Offical Alcoholic Beverage Sponsor of the 29th installment of the World Cup!

If selected as official sponsor, there will never be a dull moment at the World Cup! Watching a boring, non-important qualifying match? Turn on the excitement level with a Bastille Drink, because everythings better when your drunk! The beverage catalogue to be provided for the World Cup are as followed...

Bastille
The World Class Beer!
http://www.enjoybastille.ke/bastillelogo (http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/653/bastille7gf.png)
Carnivale
Get the party started with a Carnivale!
http://www.enjoybastille.ke/lcarnivalelogo (http://img50.imageshack.us/img50/9899/carni9un.png)
Classique
Everyone loves a Classique!
http://www.enjoybastille.ke/classiquelogo (http://img50.imageshack.us/my.php?image=class8ik.png)
elekTRIK
Kelsian Brand Vodka.
http://www.enjoybastille.ke/elektriklogo (http://img135.imageshack.us/my.php?image=elek5yu.png)

The Bastille Alcoholic Beverage Company reminds you to enjoy our drinks, but please, for the safety of yourself and others, please drink responsibly.

Fort Boston Plaza, Fort Boston, Bostopia

[Griffis] This is Greg Griffis reporting LIVE on Channel 9 Griffwitness News, Bostopia! Yes my friends, it is a summer to remember for Bostopia, with the Bostopian Grand Prix taking place later on today, and the World Cup qualifiers to be shortly decided! Bostopia is entering it's first World Cup, and earlier on today, the squad was decided. The major surprise came with the inclusion of Rolida FC's right sided midfielder Andy Perrar, who had only played one friendly against Outer Sygon, although he did score a hattrick in that game. Fort Boston's promising Dan Reppon takes the number 7 shirt, with Fenton's 17 year old Jamie Trent taking number 9.

Bostopia's kits were newly ordered this season from JMC, causing some controversy from traditionalists, until it was pointed out the previous kits were made in a barn in Drangmorie Regional District.

Home - http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/4836/bostopiahome0xf.png
Away - http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/1340/bostopiaaway6vx.png
Third - http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/2382/bostopia3rd7ra.png

The Home and Away kits take from Bostopia's national flag, with the third kit coming from the colours of the Bostopian Royal Flag.

Following the early completion of the stadium, Bostopia's home qualifying matches will take place in the Bostopia Stadium, in central Fort Boston. The Bostopia Stadium is an oval design has a capacity of 90,000, and features inflated panels round the outside of the stadium (ooc:Allianz Arena, Munich), which can be lit up to display many graphics. These panels will make up a giant Bostopian flag on home match days, and on the days of National Club Competition Finals.

Thank you for watching tonight, and make sure to stay tuned to Channel 9 and Channel 95 Sport, for all the latest news and updates on Bostopia's World Cup Campaign! This is Greg Griffis, goodnight.

Rorysville's Priemere Lagger Company Moosehead Lagger is proud to announce it's Special World Cup Lineup Featuring 29 Different Bottles(1 for Each Champion. and 1 for Rorysville) Each Bottle will be on sale throughout the World Cup and as an official Sponser Moosehead Will have a special Bottle for each Nation in the Cup that will ship to everybodies Home Stadiums for thier WC Qualifing Run.. In addition to Moosehead lagger Marceau State and Rorysville have joined together on a Bid with thier two Beer Companies Marceau's very own River Rock Ale will produce 29 Special Collecters Bottles much as the same as Moosehead Lagger. River Rock Ale will provide each Team in the World Cup with thier Own Bottle. Moosehead Lagger has been around since 1895 When John Davison Founded The Company at his Pub in St. Andrew's The Now Famous Pub is still there enclosed in the Moosehead Lagger Headquarters Building in Downtown St. Andrews. River rock Ale was founded by Marc Mellier in 1898 in his Pub in the Ste. Catherines District of Marceau. The Pub Survived all the Wars between Marceau and Rorysville and River Rock Survived and is still voted the Best ale in all of Rorysville(8 times and running).

http://www.imgcity.net/server/primary/MHLagger.JPG
http://www.imgcity.net/server/primary/riverrockAle.jpg

Alexander Truman wheeled as fast as he could down the sidelines of the Ians’ practice field near the small village of Baldheath (the original practice field in Feinwick had to be abandoned when the team members complained of a burning sensation due to the close proximity to St Adie’s Cathedral in Eastergate). Jamie Black, supposedly his star defenceman, had just knocked Mark Woolf, one of his strikers on a practice chance, viciously to the ground.

“Black! Lay over here, man!”

The reanimated corpse, still in the tatters of the Cherry Cup VII Champion Gulls uniform it had worn when alive many years ago, shambled over to his paraplegic coach. “You summoned me?” it hissed.

“Yes, dammit. Now, what’s the proper procedure when one of their strikers comes at you with the ball?”

“Check him into the boards and feast on his delicious brain-flesh!”

“No, no, a thousand times no! That will get you a yellow card -- well, maybe a red. Now listen here, and get this through your rotting membranes...”

However, Truman was distracted by the sight of right defenceman-cum-midfielder Sergei Visegorodcevs rushing up the pitch. Well, undead abominations never really ‘rush’ -- they more sort of shamble -- but Visegorodcevs was moving even more awkwardly than was usual.

“Vis...Visa....hey you!” bellowed Truman.

“What do you require?” came the crackling reply

“Are you wearing your skates again?”

“...yes.”

“Well, take them off and go get some cleats!”

“But coach! The cleats are made out of plastic. If I wear them, with what will I strike at the enemy?”

“You’re not going to be striking out at anyone! Take them off!” Truman turned back. “Now then, Black...”

But Jamie Black had already wandered off to watch while goalkeeper Sergei Naumov chased around the foolhardy trainer who had tried to remove his pads. Truman did notice, however, a man in fedora and overcoat, strange to him, who was watching the practice and diligently taking notes. Assuming him to be an opposing scout -- and more than a little scared of how much the newspapers would mock him if a report was made public -- Truman wheeled over to turn him out.

“Well then, this is a closed practice! Off with you!” he said shortly. The man didn’t leave, but instead spoke in a calm tone.

“Seems to be quite the infestation of undead you have here, gramps.”

“I prefer to think of them as a ‘team’,” said Truman crossly.

“Well, my name’s Goodwin. I’m with the Baldheath town inspector’s office. Are you familiar with Town Act 7403, Section 55, Paragraph 12?”

“Erm...”

“That’s the Anti-zombie Act, passed back in ‘23. Paragraph 12 -- part of the Good Sportsmanship Section -- specifically states that no more than three risen dead can participate in a game or practice of football, organized or pickup, within the town limits. Seems you’re a few over the limit.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Afraid not, gramps. I’m going to have to write you up a citation.” Goodwin’s pen was moving quickly across his clipboard. He handed the ticket to Truman. “If you get them out of town by tomorrow, the judge may be willing to waive the fine.”

“Seven hundred generals!?”

“Ain’t that a kicker? Anyway, gramps, just get ‘em moved out and have yourself a good day.” Goodwin tugged on the side of his hat before walking back to his car and driving away.

Truman buried his face in his palm, using his middle finger and his thumb to massage his temples. Looking up, he suddenly noticed the bat which had been watching everything. Before his eyes, it exploded in dark energy and, by the time the smoke had cleared, had transformed into Ashlee Langdone the necromancer. Truman was really getting sick of his boss’s theatrics.

“This is good news in a way,” said Langdone in a voice like a wounded antelope.

“Oh?”

“Yes. I have been needing my minions back. The Cherry Cup’s on again.”

“Wait!” exclaimed Truman, head jerking up. “It’s just months before the World Cup, and you’re taking away all my players!?”

Langdone hissed. “Is this a problem, Truman?”

“Damn straight there is! You signed us up for this tournament, and now you’re taking away all my players? We’ll make a fool out of the country, its Entire GNP be damned!”

“Perhaps you’re right,” said Langdone. “That’s it, then. I’ll slaughter the population of Baldheath and raise them as your undead footballers.”

“No!” said Truman quickly. “No need to do that. I’ll -- I’ll figure something out.”

WHAT WAS TRUMAN'S PLAN? Click here! (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11134698&postcount=52)

Quakmybush Needs Some Luck

The World Cup is about to start, and the team from Quakmybush will need a minor miracle or 2 to make it out of the qualifiers. The young team, with very little experience is attempting to qualify for its first World Cup in the nations history. "It all depends on what qualifying division we are put in" said coach Bill Martel. "It will be an uphill battle" he continued. "we need a few bounces" he finished. The schedule is still not none for the team.

Official Sponsors?

Several rejistani companies apply for sponsorship. Most notable is of course Desnike'tes JSK, with a large variety of soft drinks. Even though critics say that Coffee Desnike and most of the soft drinks have a karelizing effect, they are highly popular in Rejistania. Their products include several lemonades with flavors as orange, lemon, raspberry, kiwi, peach, lychee, mango, tamarind as well as countless others. Desnike'tes JSK will produce lemonades in 32 flavors representing the 32 world cup nations. CEO of Desnike'tes JSK stated that internationally sold beverages will not be karelizing unless it is clearly stated and will not be sold covertly. He also had the idea of takilizng versions.

Technology sponsor could become SI JSK. Why? First of all: SI is a soccer term, at least in the Rejis. It means: System Imdila (4-4-2) (the company name however means Sistenha'ny Ines). Also the company, which provided the technical knowledge for the Hexatux can provide the latest and greatest for the media as well as for individual persons. From multiprocessor computer systems to reliable hosting, software development, customized servers...

OOC: Please note the in the Rejis, there was branch in history: It was longer expensive to mass-produce computer parts so the rejistanis had to become very efficient instead of like normally just throw more ressources at an issue. Also in Rejistania, closed source software is illegal.

Come to Lisburn

with the world cup fastly approaching the tourist Board of Lisburn Mateys are also keen to jump on the band wagon.
They have released a small advertisment to entice supporters and general tourists to visit the amazing nation


http://img141.imageshack.us/img141/3593/lisburnscenery1ti.jpg

Come to Lisburn and have the time of your life

Relax and enjoy yourself in the world famous aqua park, take a day out to Nutts corner race coarse, or even have a splash on the horses at the Maze race coarse whatever floats your boat.

The nightlife in the country is also good with Hillsborough being the major destination with the Plough and Marquous of Downshire situated in the town centre.

We promise you will have an amazing experience in each province of the commonwealth

"Yahoo!", the rejistani way

The surprise team in the latest H2SR season was without a doubt "TAHAI!". The name is in Rejistanian a shout like Yahoo! or Yeah! would be in English. As a rejistanian comedian said: "I like the fans of TAHAI!. The opponents always shout their name when scoring against them." The TAHAI! team plays a System Iknel which rises and falls with the talented midfielders. Also Seletarakeledira Hanselijimijile noted the talent in the Midfield and nominated 2 players for the national team: Xtesa Kiru and Mata Jisu. The newly nominated players in brief:

Ila I Les: The goalkeeper of the DOH2SR winner Hetlasane Hetkali had the joint league record for the highest number of clean sheets since HH conceded just one goal. Of course, this was mostly caused by the sheer karelaness of the side and the rather mediocre attacks. But he also was nominated due to a number of brilliant saves.

Mesit Inkil: The left wingback comes from Inaril Redy, the winning team of the DVH2SR. He was nominated after great seasons in H1SR and H2SR. However Maniac fears a bit his talent to get into trouble on the pitch as the rather high number of cards states clearly.

Jesi~n Kansu: H1SR-runner-up Najajara Ynu declined several billion-RLK offers for the talented defender. His weakness are surely his nerves this is why coach "Teke" Nana did not field him in the decisive H1SR matches.

Xtesa Kiru: TAHAI!, surprise team of this DKH2SR season astonished the league by an inspire System Iknel. Two of the TAHAI! midfielders were nominated into the national team, among them Xtesa (whose name is pronounced Sh-TEH-zah). For the Matixi (TAHAI! is a club in a kalesa of Matix kali), this is a dream coming true.

Mata Jisu: He is also TAHAI!an (get used to that spelling, I know it looks odd) midfielder and surely one of the reasons for the rise of the Matixian team. He plays on the right side most often, but is seen as versatile.

Hsene Ea~ejin: Niadi Xalki, this sounds not like one of the places where good players come from, however, something surely was thought by Seletarakeledira Hanselijimijile why of all players, midfielder Hsene Ea~ejin was nominated. He is not bad, but experts see him as worse than players like Ikaru Takil or H~sene Linkosa.

Syku Lyku: Don't call him SyDe (however justified it might be). Syku Lyku Sikane'tes, as he prefers to distinguish himself from the incredible strikers SyLy and SyMji, who both hail from Hades Lavamje. Even though he is not really from Sikane but from KaMaRi, which he describes as 'ugly city, which consists of dirt and noise in equal propotions'.

It was one of the greatest Cup finals in history. 2-2 going into the final minute. Coleditch had never won the Cup before and their captain John Capper was having an inspirational game.

Joe Weston had been invited into the directors' box, at Capper's request. Capper said he wanted one of his apprentices to see his final match. Weston was surprised at this. "OK, John, you're pushing 40, but you're still as good as ever...why retire now?"

"Oh, I'm not going to retire."

Weston was still bemused by this. The Coleditch chairman had nibbled his fingernails down to the quick. "Oh, so close, so bloody close..."

"You're playing well, though," Joe said.

"But this is intolerable. We've never won it. We came so close sixty years ago and I was there as a boy. And it was just like this. 2-2 against Kelburn. Then John Pearson scored the winner. A backheel in injury time. Like a dagger in the heart. If Crowhurst do the same thing I think I'll die."

It was the 93rd minute. Extra time was looming. Capper was imperiously progressing through the middle. Lane and Moon closed in on Capper but he flicked the ball sideways for Alan Shields. Shields made it to the by-line and sent a cross along the edge of the area, but no-one was able to take advantage. Then it happened. Bertie Tanner, sliding in at the far post to clear, could not stop the ball from bouncing off him and back into the middle. It went behind Capper who turned and flicked the ball backward through Tracey's legs and into the net.

The Coleditch chairman could not contain himself. "Yes! Yes! Yessssss!!!!!" He barely even noticed the final whistle as The Pikemen celebrated their first-ever Cup win. At their hundred and twelfth attemt.

As Capper came down the stairs with medal in hand, he saw Joe Weston. Weston went to congratulate him. But Joe was utterly shocked at Capper's appearance. He suddenly looked as old as the hills. "Mission accomplished, Joe..." said Capper. "It's taken 60 years to win this."

"What do you mean, John?"

"This is it. What's done is done. Thanks for coming, Joe."

With that Capper collapsed.

***

The funeral was an odd affair. No pomp or circumstance. A group of travellers congregated around Beacon Hill to burn Capper's caravan. Joe Weston was there, he had enquired as to the funeral and Old Tom had told him what was happening. "I'm happy for you to come, Joe," said Tom. "Capper was fond of you. And the Cup win bonus has made sure I won't die in a pauper's grave. Thanks to Capper."

"Thanks, Tom."

Weston was a familiar figure with the Community. They allowed him to attend the funeral. Weston had one favour to ask. Before they burned the caravan, he wanted to pay his last respects. He went into the caravan to place a ceremonial feather on the corpse of his friend. But he was astonished to see that in the bed was not Capper - but Old Tom.

Suddenly he heard a familiar voice. "Au revoir, Joe...but never, ever speak of this..." Weston turned around but there was no-one there. He ran to the caravan entrance and saw the Community. He looked around but could not see any familiar faces.

Joe Weston descended and watched the bonfire that took Old Tom to the Other Side. But he did not feel sad at all. Euphoric.

***

The Wentland FA decreed that, for World Cup XXIX, the number 6 would be left blank in honour of John Capper.

BANG AND THE DIRT IS GONE

In a press conference earlier today, Cillit Bang announced that it was their ambition to become the official Universal Degreaser of the World Cup.

Elrichian international and the face of Cillit Bang, Barry Scott was thrilled with developments,

"It's an exciting day for me personally, but also for the World Cup. Many of today's cleaners simply don't perform, particularly on tough stains like baked-on grease, bathroom grime, soap scum and limescale. With all the scrubbing required, they leave you doing most of the hard work. By becoming the official World Cup degreaser, more people will be aware of the solution to their problems - and once they utilise the quality of the World Cup degreaser, it will give them the time and energy to enjoy the quality of the World Cup itself."

The press conference climaxed in the cleaning of a dirty old penny which, after being submerged in Cillit Bang solution for only a matter of seconds emerged as "Good as New", much to the delight of the Elrichian Press.

The part-Elrichinan company will now face an anxious wait to see if their bid is successful.

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a318/stormgiantxxxl/ASMVFNN.jpg

An Era Has Ended - A New One To Begin

This is Kellan Kildan with a Pre-World Cup Sea Dragon report.

WC28 was truly the end of an era for Sea Dragon fans and friends from around the globe. The biggest problem for me is where to start at.

So that will be with Hell freezing over. Gone is the former edition of the Underachiever’s Club. ASMV and Milchama have qualified two cups in a row. Cuation is on the brink of great things. Ariddia and Hypocria both earned qualification in WC28 - the latter actually forcing Satan to find a heating repair man. Now the Underachiever’s Club looks to make noise and everyone takes us serious now. We can and will compete with everyone. So the whole idea is gone from that standpoint. Hypocria has withdrawn from WC competition - so one of our closest friends will no longer be around. The WC will have a whole new feel with their absence. Times are changing.

And after four consecutive WC campaigns, the Sea Dragons have lost several key members. Gone is the defensive presence of the Banta-N’bai brothers who both chose to retire from international competition and winger Tomas Carrington. Unami, regarded as the best player in ASMV history, does return as new defensive coach for the squad. Expect him to push new starters Genesis Galluccio, Anika Milosavic, and Fidal Vianal to the limits of their abilities. Gone is the midfield presence of MalachI James and Kristov Kirelenko. Jenni Ulrich proved herself last time around but new Center Midfielder Arobi Khazir-Zarazoroba is still a huge question mark.

Squad leadership should not be an issue. Evan Evans returns for his fifth campaign along with Pablo Iglesias and Porche Alexander, the dynamic duo of scoring abilitiy - also in their fifth campaign. Shaun Conarky still mans the net and will make it difficult for opponents to score.

Perhaps most importantly is that the new faces on defense is the return of Micah Swift. “Hit Man” as he is known in the VFL will surely be looking for some fresh faces to introduce to the turf of Stadii Se Draggonnii Arcea. The physical intimidation he brings to matches will be needed while the newcomers adjust to their new roles.

With new faces in the starting lineup, reserves will become more important as well. Keeper Jenna Jaffrey, wing-midfielder Kendrick Pu, and forward Leena Draghi have all proven themselves on the B squad and elsewhere. Defenders Bok Werizky and Kasey Kurzinski, midfielder Marlin Altreche, and forward Ali Devincenti must prove they are ready to compete at this level. Ali Devincenti has a huge upside and should be ready to go, she was the complete newcomer last time around and now looks ready to actually be here.

So what of our chances? With a solid ranking and more desire than most sides, The Sea Dragons should be ready to qualify once again. And after missing the round of 16 on goal differential last time, you can bet they will be pushing hard to make a real move up and challenge the top sides this time.

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e228/Sonya0111/DasMedia.jpg

New Look Mystical Unicorns Ready To Rumble

Queen Sonya Sabre was seated at the relatively clean desk in her office of the Royal Palace in WhiteHall. She couldn’t remember the last time that she had so little to have to take care of. But that fact did not bother the Queen on this day - she actually had some time to go over notes from Luthien Oronar concerning the Mystical Unicorns roster that would make the venture of WC29 with hopes of actually making some real noise.

Luthien had done a wonderful job in the past with very little to work with. The first appearance for the Unicorns had come in WC27. The squad was a late entry and did not gain the benefit that most newcomers receive by participating in the Baptism of Fire. The resulting 211th ranking did little to hamper early efforts though. The Unicorns had remained in contention for a qualification spot until the final days of the group stage. So much promise early on had raised high hopes for the young girls from the Sylvanaes Kingdom. The Queen smiled at the memory of those early days.

The, unfortunately, reality settled in. That Cup of Harmony was almost forgettable in every way, and if the Unicorns had not earned the Wooden Spoon (by design of course) no one would even remembered it at all. But the hardships didn’t end there. A less than stellar Draggonii Inviyatii was followed by the mess that was WC28. Nothing good came of that venture save proof that Vilita cant beat the Unicorns. It was proof enough for Queen Sonya and Luthien Oronar that some drastic changes were in order.

That led to a complete revamp of the Unicorn roster for the last CoH. No longer a side comprised solely of Elves, the Unicorns made some real noise by running the group stage undefeated and moving to the round of eight before falling to eventual champion Schiavonia. Victories over the likes of Yafor 2, Qazox, and Mr Chuck Norris proved the value of the new additions.

But now came the real decision. The Kingdom’s “B” squad (Necromancers) had performed very solid in the Draggonnii Inviyatii against some very tough competition. Anyone competing in that tourney can attest to the talent level that shows up. NMS, Jeruselem, Starblaydia, Tadjikistan, Sarzonia, and the hits keep on coming. So now the question became which side to send to WC29.

In the end it was decided to give the Unicorns another shot. An all female squad in the WC does have some advantages. Just ask Eauz or The Archregimancy (who wore blindfolds)about the distractions the bikini kits can cause. So now it is an almost completely new roster that will make the World Cup run. Still all female - just not all Elven. Only five members of previous Unicorn squads return this time and only four of them will start. Hopes are that the newfound balance will make the squad more competitive and allow an actual chance at vying for a qualification spot.

Preview of World Cup 29 Starting Eleven for the Black Oxen:

GoalKeeper: Reggie 'The Rock' Hassok- Only 22 years old, but a tall imposing force at the net at 6' 4" tall. Will get beat on his left, but overall the best GK in Qazox by far.

Left Defense: Kiel Venice, His third cup, still willing to do anything to win, but doesn't have the Killer Instinct to foul opposing players.

Left Sweep: Harden Homer- The old man of the squad at 31, Homer will trip, punch and kick any who try to get near him, and usually gets away with it.

Right Sweep: Jarod Megia- Young, impulsive and hot tempered, Megia won't win a match for you, but might cost you one.

Right Defense: Helena Sexton- the fastest defender on the team, She can mark anybody and will to prove she's the best.

Midfielders: Andrew and Anthony Mason- Indentical twins, they were forwards, but their lack of speed has forced them to play in the middle. Since they are twins, they each instinctivly know where the other is on the pitch.

Left Forward: Jamie Bookman- Despite being a forward, he is not a scorer, but uses his speed and agility to draw defenders to him, opening up the box for scoring oppertunities.

Left Striker- Alicia “Speedy” Gonzalez- Runs a 4.14 40yd dash, will compete in the upcoming summer games in the 100 and 200 yd dash. Speed kills and she's the best weapon Qazox' got.

Right Striker- Marie Goya- While not as fast or as tall as Gonzalez, her determination to score and willingness to go all out on corners has allowed Marie to become a scoring threat in the box.

Right Forward- Maria Gretzky- Her third Cup, and team captain, Maria has the one of best cornerkick and penalty kick shots in the world. She can and has scored on corners and in a penalty shoot-out, the goal is as good as in.

<new commerical idea arrives at the KC WC HQ from the makers of Pepco Cola as they try to further their bid's chances

<image 1>

A Bedistan player is shown blasting a goal past a hapless keeper with the Bedistan flag in one corner as a voice over narrates, Three straight times in the finals,winners of two. Bedistan will be at the Cup.

<image 2>
A Starblaydia keeper is shown making a diving save frustrating another striker with the Starblaydia flag in the corner as the voiceover narrates The defending champs, Starblaydia will be looking to make it two in a row. Starblaydia will be defending their title at the Cup

<image 3>
A Liverpool England player leaps to the air on a corner kick and knocks a beautiful header into the net for a goal with their flag in the corner as the voice over continues Reaching the final four in three straight Cups. Liverpool England will be at the Cup

<image 4>
A rapid flash of players wearing the kits of in order The Archregimancy, Spaam, Krytenia, Milchama, Total n Utter Insanity, Jerusalem, and Arridia pass by the screen as the voice over begins Or will some other hungry squad step up and take the Cup for their own. The world will be there to find out.

<Pepco symbol flashes across the screen as the narrator concludes>

Pepco- the official soft drink of the 29th World Cup. The time has come

Soccer voted 6th Favorite Sport in New-Lexington
In a poll conducted over the internet in the past three months by New-Lexington's largest soccer magazine Red Card, soccer was shown to be the 6th most popular sport. (Results below)
1. Basketball 26%
2. Football (American) 24%
3. Baseball 15%
4. Hockey 11%
5. Track and Field/Cross Country 10%
6. Soccer (Futbol) 7%
7. Lacrosse 5%
8. Other 2%
Facing low support from home, the New-Lexington squad will have to prove themselves to skeptical home audience. NLSPN (New-Lexingon Sports Network) will cover the entire world cup live.

New Montreal Intercontinental Airport, 0500 hours

The delivery truck sped across the runway, having cut directly onto it from Route 201. This was both illegal and highly unsafe - indeed, the truck had narrowly avoided the takeoff path of a jet bound for Valdemont - but NMSoft had the right connections, and traffic regulations were bound to go unenforced now and then, if the right people had been contacted. They had, and now the truck was approaching a small courier jet that was having supplemental fuel tanks loaded on for a trip longer than it had ever made.

"Que est-ce que ils me foutent cette-fois ci, de m'envoyer a Ashford pis a Everton City?" asked the pilot, who was standing by his jet sipping coffee while the truck began loading. "Pis que est-ce que es si maudit important pur qu'ils me reveillant a cette maudite heure pour le faire?"

The driver of the truck pointed to a billboard, featuring star forward Gilles Villeneuve, over the freeway advertising the release of World Cup 29 by NMSoft. "Tu vois?"

"Ben ouais, je vois," responded the pilot. After a moment of thought, he added: "Alors, ils disait la verité quand ils ont dit qu'il ils allait envoyer une système pis une copie du jeu a tous les juges?"

"Y'aurait-t-il une autre raison?" asked the driver rhetorically. "Voila deux mille onces pis il y aura deux mille autres pour toi au retour. Pourvu que tout va bien, comprends?"

"Ben ouais, je comprend," was the reply of the pilot. He got into his craft, and got into the takeoff queue. Fifteen minutes later he was on his way to Casari and Krytenia with the consoles and copies of to game to bribe the judges in charge of determining the official sponsors of the Cup.

[OOC: We completely refuse to apologize for the joual. Our only regret is that we cannot make it any worse.]

RACE FOR OFFICIAL ELRICH WORLD CUP SONG HOTS UP

The official shortlist for the Elrichian official World Cup 29 Song were unveiled by Bill Murray of the Elrichian FA at a press conference earlier today.

International team-mates H from Steps and Scatman John are the early favourites with the Bookies, with the two team-mates looking set to battle it out for the honour.

Skazeel and Binner have a chance with their 29th version of the hugely successful orginal Three Badgers, whilst Ray Davies Laser Army techno tune and the Hooligans (featuring Wolfman) shout-fest remain huge outsiders, with the Richard Hodgins' Appreciation Society making up the numbers.


Here is the list in full

Leap Like a Salmon in Love - H from Steps

F****ng Ell'Rich - Hooligans featuring Wolfman

Three Badgers 29 - Skazeel and Binner

Scatman World Cup - Scatman John

You can do anything with a Laser - Ray Davies Laser Army

Submarine - The Richard Hodgins Appreciation Society

AIRLINE BID

Leading Elrichian Airline - "The Elrichian Flying Bike Association" (EFBA) have announced their desire to become the official Air Travel of the 29th World Cup. Whilst most other nations favour the fuel-guzzling mega Jets, the Flying Bike Association offers a cleaner and healthier alternative, which as the official airline would send out an environmental message to the world. With global-warming an issue of increasing importance, by choosing the Elrichian Flying Bike Association, the World Cup would be doing the morally right thing.

Here is the new FB5000, which has revolutionised Flying Bike travel by encorporating an incredible 2 seats.

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b274/John_Spinks/bike.jpg

The company await further developments.

Dance 2 Revolution prepare

Dance 2 Revolution continue to rebuild

Dace 2 Revolution continue to optimistically prepare for the following cup, with a new look team determined to replicate the successful team of 40 years ago. With a huge 9 changes expected from the squad of 23 of last cup, a new energetic approach is expected in qualifying this year. Revolutionary Sports News managed to catch up with Gavrj Taqin before he prepared to meet up with head of the RFA, Naoki Maeda.

RSN: How are the World Cup preperations going?
Taqin: Fine, there have been no problems so far, unlike in previous cups.
RSN: You haven't made an announcement about the roster. Why not?
Taqin: Well, simply because I don't have to yet, there's still a few tweaks to be made, especially within the selection in midfield.
RSN: What should we expect from your roster?
Taqin: A blend of youth, experience. And flair, of course.
RSN: What should we expect from the D2R team this time around.
Taqin: Expectations are what what makes this job so hard. I'm hardly going to put pressure on myself by predicting in such an unpredictable game when the public takes what I say as gold.
RSN: Smart man.
Taqin: Thank you, and now i'll be on my way.

Although Taqin wouldn't speculate as to D2R's aim in this cup, aim's are said to be constant progress, which leads us to heading to the round of 16 this cup. However, getting to this stage might prove difficult for the 30th ranked side.

During the cup, D2R will be heading towards 450 goals scored in international competitions, meaning D2R will need to score 31 goals, although this will be a tall order, as they have not achieved this since World Cup 21. They will also possibly reach the boring heights of 50 draws, needed 2 to achieve this. D2R also need 17 wins to reach their 150th, however that is definately not expected to be reached until at least World Cup 30.

D2R will also be hoping for a less harsh draw than last cup, which saw them face old rivals in the forms of Vilita, Kaze Progressa and Liverpool England and the groups stages bringing them face to face with Squornshelous.

Hjaldiks Bljech Kumpanij to request sponsership!

Mrkvejnias 12th largest company Hjaldiks Bljech Kumpanij wish to sponser at least one Mrkvejnian match during the World Cup.
Hjaldiks Bljech Kumpanij promises any team to purchase their cleaning products 'Wyter that wyte wytes' and with a subtle hint of Mrkvejnian Peasant musk, often a much sought after commodity in the arid South of Mrkvejnia.
Hjaldiks Bljech Kumpanij also wishes to supply the chemicals for the portable toilets used by the many fans visiting the host nation. The company also supplies 'Mobjl Tjolets' (http://www.nuweb.co.uk/games/files/fpics/portable-toilet-on-a-scateb.gif) for those fans who don't want to risk losing any precious footballing time. Also for those fans who like to 'live life in the fast lane,' Hjaldiks Bljech Kumpanij also provide the Tjurboluu 1900 (http://www.reallyusefulpeople.co.uk/newsdata/LooRace1.jpg) available in 90CC and 150CC for the true daredevil!

Hi, I'm from Earth II (a mini community within NS), and we want to run our own WC, but have no idea how it works. Could someone tell us how you generate your scores and yellow cards etc.

Hi, I'm from Earth II (a mini community within NS), and we want to run our own WC, but have no idea how it works. Could someone tell us how you generate your scores and yellow cards etc.

OOC:

1) Don''t post this question here, because we don't like OOC things in our IC threads.

2) Post it here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=293066) instead

3) Read the World Cup Wiki page (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/World_Cup), including the FAQs (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/World_Cup_FAQs) article.

Starblaydia
World Cup Committee President

OOC - Ta

Two Fmjphoenix companies step up for sponserships

Two major companies out from Fmjphoenix have decided to step forward to head the lines.

Fony Co. has stepped up again to go for its second World Cup sponsership in the technological department, again offering excellent and superior computer equipment for better studying and collaberation are also bringing in new monitering systems. They have been developing camera techniques that get cameras into some in dept closeness that you almost feel like you are out there playing.

Draylorn Food Inc. mostly know for their takilan brownies that are hits in multipule nations around the world, have stepped up with a better alternative. They wish to provide full catering service to all nations in competitions with some of the most healthy fruits and vegitables and most lean meat to provide top notch healthy meals to all players and coaches involved.

While noone wants to say on their chances of gaining sponsership as great or not, every expresses that the chance to provide anything to some of the best footballing nations in the world is just an amazing expierence, one that anyone would love to have. More news will be released about their applications later when the qualifications come near.

THE MONASTIC TIMES

MFA DISAPPOINTED IN LACK OF REACTION TO ICON SPONSORSHIP OFFER
Team Unveil Official World Cup Hymn

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

The Monastic Football Association was said to be disappointed this morning at the total lack of reaction to the Archregimancy's offer to provide the official Holy Icons of World Cup 29. "We don't understand it" said a senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity. "We thought that no one could fail to be moved by these exquisite objects of devotion", though the spokesman did later concede that the lack of response could just possibly be related to a similar total lack of requests for icon sponsorship by the hosts.

In the meantime, the squad today revealed their official World Cup Hymn for the tournament. "It's Rachmaninov's setting of the Hymn to the Mother of God from vespers!" said team captain Fr. David the Water-Drinker, though some more traditional monasteries are said to have protested at the choice of such a dangerously modern musical setting.

"O Virgin who leadest the angel host,
We thy servants raise Thee hymns of victory
And give Thee thanks that thou hast delivered us from the wicked.
O Thou with Thy all-conquering power,
Deliver us from all evil,
That we may proclaim Thee
And say: Rejoice, O Virgin unwed
And celebrate our winning goal against the heathen opposition"

There are concerns that the final line of the World Cup hymn may be an uncanonical recent addition.

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9163/starlogo2ti.jpg
Jonathon Bell to be dropped??

Its nearly here, world cup 29 and with a little break in the local football calendar, Mateys manager Paul Kirk decided to arrange a few friendlies in order to fully decide upon his squad.

The first friendly played against the under 21 side which included Chris Reims although he is on the full squad was much tighter than many people anticipated, 4 -1 which seems convinving but the scoreline hides the excellant display put in by the countries future stars.
Kirk started with what looked like the full squad except for B Livingston who's league campaign was still on going in Qazox. The other change was at the back with the absence of Bell. Bell who had played with Lower Maze the week before and had been training with the squad was in perfect condition so this seems to suggest that Gucho is now a member of the starting eleven. This will be a big blow to Bell who has not had the best of season with Lower Maze who are currently languishing in ninth position in the Primerio Liga

The goals where scored by Bellucci after Aaron Mc Cann completly ripped apart the defence, with Patton scoring two and Amusi Akobyi the other who is trying to find goal scoring form again. Hillsborough Boys' striker Niel Livingston scored the goal for the under 21 side who is a cousin of the other two Livingston's on the senior team.


The second game was played against Cheesy Mc Cheese's league champions, Lisburn Rangers. This time the team was more of a B -side as Lisburn Rangers are only a semi professional side, but again Bell was missing and only appeared for 20 minutes in the second half when Reims was taken off.
The match itself finished 7 - 0 showing the class between players from the first and second leagues in the country.
Goal scorers where - James Curry (3) , Scott Mitchell, Richard Dougherty (2)and Higgenbottom

We wait to see if Bell will start in the first game

"Elrichian re-entry to cause problems for Bazalopes?" by Nev Gould

Previously in the first Draggonnii Invitiational and World Cup 27 Peter "Wolfie" Hobble, was bitten by an Elrichian Werewolf in the team. This caused alot of angst in the team, especially in Hobble who turned into a werewolf as a result. He dissappeared from the international football scene. And turned up in Elrich for the start of the 27th World Cup. A BFSA complaint to the WCC was upheld as Peter Hobble started his international career in Bazalonia.

However when he was to be told by the Elrichian manager Mike Basset both Peter Hobble and the Elrichian Manager disappeared. It was not until very late iinto the World Qualifiers that the Bazalonian Federal Police managed to locate Peter Hobble, however Mike Bassett was still missing.

Thanks to the Archregimancies monks, who the Bazalopes faced as their last match in the 27th World Cup, Peter Hobble was excorised and was cured of his Lycanthropy... however Mike Bassett was never found. He is presumed to have been killed.

Now that the Elrichian FA is back on the international scene and have once again made claim to Peter Hobble as player number 99. Who knows what the Elrichians have up their sleaves.

Chi Sun-Times-Tribune-Domestic-International-Star-News-Today

Sports Section

Milchama applying to be the official nation of WC29

The Warrior Peoples of Milchama has done something unique in World Cup history. The Great Leader Tim Gonnenberg and MFA President Calvin Chintermantomantomantoman announced today that Milchama is applying to be the official nation of World Cup 29. Gonnenberg said, "The Casarans have wanted unique sponsorship applications and we thought that having an official nation would be quite unique."

As the official nation, Milchama will hopefully be able to generate extra tourism which will allow us more people to conscript into the army and more money to allow our kibbutzim to grow. They will also see how the unique way Milchamian society is structured is much much better than their home governments and maybe either move here or bring that type of government back home to their own countries.

In the interest of finally naming sponsors, the deadline for applications will be THE SAME TIME AS THIS POST THE DAY AFTER I POSTED THIS POST. So you have 24 hours left, people!

The Schiavone Scribe
Party time!

In an unusual move, a Schiavone political party, the Party Party, have applied to become the official political party of World Cup 29.

Their leader, Mike Toby, announced to gathered members of the press that the organisation's ambition was to get their beliefs out to the people of the world to make it a better place for everyone.

He said, "I know it probably isn't usually in the interests of a major international sporting event to put itself out as a political propeghanda tool, but we hope that they will hear us out and listen to what our beliefs are."

"We in the Party Party believe in the same thing as all Schiavone people do - that life is one big party to be enjoyed. Our policies are aimed at trying to make people that they're here for a good time, not a long time."

When asked about their basic economic policies, Toby replied, "Uh... we would spend more on making the people enjoy themselves, however that may be."

The Party Party have no seats in the Schiavone parliament, but have vowed to also support Jungle Rum Ltd.'s bid to sponsor the World Cup. However, Toby refused to confirm or deny that he was linked to the alcoholic beverage makers in any way, shape or form.

Wilson Graham stood in front of the various media reporters arrayed in the room before him. Off to the side of the room, The team's manager, Vivica Hill, was waiting quietly.

"We're here, as we all know, to finally reveal the names of the offical sponsor companies-"

Hill laughed from the side of the room.

"Shhh, you'll ruin another of my press confrences. We're here to name the offical sponsor corporations and groups of the Twenty-Ninth World Cup. A deep thanks to all who entered, but some had to lose, after all."

"Yumbo Jumbo will once again be the offical Candy of the World Cup, and the Starblaydian sportswear company eidraf will, after some complants by Krytenian company JMC, be the Cup's offical provider of officals' jerseys for the Casaran Groups and matches as well as the offical sportswear provider. Under the condition that they won't Karelize us all into mindless defense-loving zombies, Desnike'tes JSK of Rejistania will be the World Cup's offical Soft Drink Provider. Bastille Drinks of Kelse, making the correct assumption that Soccer is always, always better when you're drunk, will be the Cup's offical provider of booze!"

Graham waited for the applause to stop, and continued. "The worldwide fast food company from Allanea, the Cute Bunny Burger Corporation, has been named the World Cup's offical Fast Food location, and the New Montreal States' NMSoft has been named the Cup's offical Technology provider, along with World Cup Football being given the offical World Cup 29 license and the title 'Offical Game of World Cup 29: Krytenia/Casari. Just so you know, the game is fan-tast-eek."

Hill mumbled. "You'd know, you stole my copy of it, you bastard."

Graham brushed off the comments. "After their kind offer, and realizing that the niche market of Holy Icons is a valuable one, and to cater to our small, but fiercely loyal Orthodox fanbase, The Archregimancy is World Cup 29's offical provider of Holy Icons. In the same vein, the applications of Milchama, and particularly the Party Party, who expresses a spirit we should all embrace while drunk and watching people chase a ball, are the World Cup's offical Non-Host Nation and Political Party!"

Graham blinked. "And, lastly... apparently... hmmmm. Well... it seems that... The Elrichian Flying Bike Association... I'll have to check on that... will be the Offical Transport Provider of World Cup 29." Graham said, looking slightly flustered.

"Thank you, Ladies and Gentlemen."

Graham stepped off the podium and caught the eye of Hill. Quietly, he asked, "How's the flying bike?"

Hill scowled. "Go to hell, You're not stealing that too."

THE MONASTIC TIMES

NATION APPOINTED OFFICIAL SUPPLIER OF HOLY ICONS TO WC29
There is Much Rejoicing

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

The Archregimancy was today named the official supplier of Holy Icons to World Cup 29, thereby demonstrating that co-hosts Casari have unusually well-developed taste for a bunch of Catholics.

There was much rejoicing throughout the Monastic Republic today as concerns that less Christian nations - such as the foul excelite Progressans, virgin-sacrificing heathen Rejistanians, militant communist Hockey Canadians and, well, Atheistic Right - might not be as welcoming towards the decision were temporarily brushed aside.

This morning the Holy Synod and Monastic Football Association blessed the Official Holy Icon of World Cup 29 - one which be familiar to all monastic football supporters - the Theotokos Nikopeia, or the Mother of God Bringer of Victory


http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a319/vakraas/theotokos_of_nicopeia2.jpg


This particular version is modelled on the icon so bloodily looted from Haghia Sophia by the vile schismatic Catholic crusaders of 1204, and which is now so shamelessly displayed in St. Marks, Venice.

Archregimancy iconographers are now hard at work producing a pre-blessed copy of the Official Tournament Icon for each participating team.

The Holy Synod and MFA have announced that they welcome requests from participating nations for an official team icon. In a sure to be controversial decision, the Holy Synod has announced that they will even honour requests from non-Orthodox nations. However, only Orthodox iconography, saints and events will be provided - there's no point in requesting one of those new-fangled Catholic saints post-dating 1054 (new-fangled Orthodox saints post-dating 1054 will, however, be cheerfully considered).

Should participating nations be unsure of which Orthodox saint or event best represents their nation, their football association should contact the Archregimancy via telegramme, and the MFA will respond at their earliest convenience.

The following was an Official Release from ARFA.


When we heard that those Murderous Monks made a proposition for providing official religous icons we laughed. Why would the monks even contemplate putting a sponsorship application for the 29th world cup. And now that Casarians have announced they have actually officially created a sponsorship place for the icons but have choosen those.... monks to provide it can only mean that we can only be dissappointed not only by the Casarian football association but by the whole World Cup Committee that allows religious extremism to foul such a great tournament as the World Cup. This is an official letter of protest.

Liverpool England Government expresses "concern" over "official holy icons" sponsor

"The Liverpool England Government has officially written to the hosts of World Cup 29 to express its concern over the selection of a "Holy Icons" sponsor for the tournament. The tournament is a strictly secular one, and this should be condemned. While Liverpool England allows everyone the right to religion, we cannot allow this to happen in an international tournament. The Government will also be writing to the government of The Archregimancy to voice our concerns," a statement read.

Wilson Graham read the press releases quietly. This sort of thing required some sort of offical reply.

"Miss Loretti, please take a letter for me."

"Go ahead, Sir."

"To the Football Association of Athestic Right:

While we appreciate your differing opinion, an attempt is being made to offer as wide a range of sponsorships as possible so fans don't have to think and can buy expensive liscensed merchandise while drunk. So, in an effort to placate you, please accept one (1) copy of World Cup Football 29.

Sincerely,
Wilson Graham,
Casari Soccer Authority.

That's all, Miss Loretti."

"Sir, Manager Hill is-"

"Damnit, Wilson, quit trying to give away my copy of that damn game!" Hill screamed into the loudspeaker.

Hill stomped in and stared. "Next thing you know, you're going to try and give Liverpool England my flying bike."

"I don't see what the big deal is. Hell, we have an alcohol sponsor, which is the direct cause of thousands of deaths. There's fast food and soft drink sponsors, which are rather unhealthy. Then we get a sponsorship that saves people from eternal damnation, and everyone gets bent out of shape."

In a stunning move today, Qazox would like to announce that the bid for the Offical Ox of the 29th World Cup be.... The Qazian Ox.

The Qazian Ox stands 5 feet 6 inches to the shoulder and weighs an average of 1500 lbs. (or 681 kg). They range in color from black to white with dark brown being the dominate color. A Qazian Ox's main source of food is grass, but have been known to eat rutabegas once in a while. If caught behind a Qazian Ox after it eats a rutabega, please stand at least 50 yds (45m) behind as the Qazian Ox has the foulest gaseous release in nature.

To: the Archregimancy Government/FA
From: Milchama Government/FA
Re: Holy icons

The Milchama Warriors soccer team would like a holy icon done. We would like it to be of any Orthodox saint that was either Jewish himself or friendly to the Jews. Whoever it is doesn't really bother us.

Signed,
Calvin Chintermantomantoman and Marc J. Floren.

The Isangrad Times
Valerians Disappointed at the Turndown of Tsar George's American Fried Chicken, Inc. For World Cup Official Fast Food
However, Valerians Hail the Archregimancy as Official Makers of Holy Icons

SANKT VALERIAN, MAGNUS VALERIUS --- Although dismayed that TGAFC was turned down to be the official fast food for the World Cup, Valerians decided to celebrate in the honor of The Archregimancy's new status as the official maker of Orthodox Holy Icons. Already, Valerian shopkeepers have sent in orders for icons, along with team photos of their national team dressed in their full monastic robes.

"We congratulate our Orthodox brothers in The Archregimancy on their approval as official Holy Icon manufacturers for World Cup 29," said a Valerian casually strolling down the street.

CEO of Tsar George's American Fried Chicken, Grigor Ippolitov, took the rejection of his company a little more harshly. He has since been seen hunting rabbits and 'cute bunnies' with a cannon on the outskirts of Sankt Valerian. Other Valerians, including the national team, plan to boycott the Cute Bunny Burger corporation. Head Coach Ilya Pavlov of the national team explicitly said, "We will not be eating anything that reeks of the Cute Bunny Burger Corporation. In fact, the team instead will be catered by Tsar George's American Fried Chicken instead. At every match, they'll dig into all the fried chicken feet they could ever savor."

Tsar Alexander III of Magnus Valerius has sent a request to the Archregimancy to manufacture an icon for the Valerian team, the Boyars. "Personally, I like Saint John of Damascus," the emperor mused in a private speech with one of our journalists. "But, the Archregimancy shall choose any saint or icon they wish for our team."

Sativaville would like to ensure its Ganja-Vodka as the offical Vodka of the World Cup by offering the following to the hosts National Leaders:

1- A free case of Ganja-Vodka (12 750ml plastic bottles).

2- An all expense paid trip to the country of their choice.

3- A 2.5 kilo bag of "Stuff" we just happen to grow in our fine country.

4- All the above plus a "Lady or Gentleman of the Evening" ;)

Thank you in Advance for making Ganja-Vodka the OFFFICAL WORLD CUP XXIX VODKA and remember, Ganja-Vodka will leave you hungry for more.

[OOC - because some of these images are potentially quite large, from now on I'll post icons as hyperlinks to the relevant image in my photobucket account rather than as embedded images. Those of you with dial-up will no doubt be grateful. Though as far as I'm aware they are not under copyright restrictions, I would also like to formally acknowledge that all subsequent images of icons (not including the Theotokos Nicopeia) are originally from the web site of the Orthodox Church in America, www.oca.org ]

MONASTIC FOOTBALL ASSOCIATION PRESS RELEASE
Official Milchama and Magnus Valerius Icons Blessed

The Monastic Football Association and the Holy Synod of the Archregimancy are pleased to unveil the blessed Holy Icons of the football teams of Milchama and Magnus Valerius.

We will admit that Milchama caused us a problem or two as we pondered potential saints that were both Jewish and Orthodox Christian. Getting pedantic and pointing out that Our Saviour and the Twelve Apostles were all technically Jewish didn't really seem to be what Milchama was looking for. But this led to a brainwave.... James the Brother of the Lord and Joseph the Betrothed (Husband and Protector of the Ever-Virgin Theotokos) are both commemorated on the same day as....

The Holy Righteous David the King (http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a319/vakraas/David.jpg)

The second (but best-known) King of Israel - and Orthodox Saint - thus becomes the official Holy Icon of the Milchama Warriors in WC 29.


Magnus Valerius was a lot easier. A preference for St John of Damascus (a theologian and a zealous defender of Orthodoxy, his most important book is the Fount of Knowledge. The third section of this work, "On the Orthodox Faith," is a summary of Orthodox doctrine and a refutation of heresy) was expressed so....

St. John of Damascus (http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a319/vakraas/JohnDamascus.jpg)

is the official Holy Icon of the Magnus Valerius Boyars in WC 29.

"You wanted to see me?"

"Come in. Shut the door behind you."

Brett Hancock nervously complied with his now-former boss, at least as far as coaching the national team was concerned. He walked slowly toward the seat directly in front of Dave Wilson's desk and looked evenly at the septogenarian chairman of the Incorporated Football Federation.

"Have a seat please."

Hancock stiffly lowered himself into the seat, trying hard to show a poker face, but Wilson knew Hancock was nervous. All of a sudden, a pop exploded into the room and Hancock's back side was wet. Wilson cracked up.

"Gotcha!"

"You son of a..."

Wilson turned serious for a moment after Hancock cleaned his posterior off.

"The results that have come in have been, quite frankly, not up to snuff," Wilson said. "Ninth place in the Draggonnii Inviyattii? After we won the tournament the first two times? A second round knockout in AOCAF? Frankly, it's all I can do to keep Doug from blowing everything up and starting over."

Hancock sank back into the seat, now not even bothering to hide how nerve-wracking the steely glare of Wilson was to the young coach.

"Of course, the last two World Cups have not been where we expected our team to perform," Wilson said. "It's your job to reverse this decline and get the team back to playing at a high level in the World Cup proper. Or I can no longer justify keeping you on board as the coach."

Hancock nodded his head. He knew that was coming.

"However, until such time as the IFF is convinced you're ready to take over all aspects of the national team, we are going to hire a technical director. You will need to work closely with him to make sure you get the right mix of players. Understand?"

Hancock responded with a look of disappointment and anger over a major aspect of coaching the Stars being removed from his job description. He thought Wilson was showing a complete lack of confidence in him. However, if he were able to talk with new assistant coach Brian Wilson, he would have learned that Dave Wilson remembered having to fill essentially three roles with Sarzonia. Now Wilson stepped down from two of them.

"I have no doubts that you're an excellent manager Brett," Dave Wilson said. "However, most teams have a technical director and a manager. They don't usually require their coaches to fill both roles. It's going to be something we ought to try."

"I understand," Hancock said, even though he really didn't. That would be time for another discussion down the road.

"These jerseys are a bold step forward in the construction of football kits!"

"Mm-hmm."

"Are they?"

"Oh yes." The Mercury Sports executive handing out jerseys for the official roll out of Becquerelia's brand-new World Cup uniforms was almost in ecstacy concerning these brightly colored fabric wearables. "The patented tight weave mesh construction allows for a smooth finish, easy breathablility, and unimpeded movement on the field. Plus, these uniforms will not retain sweat, making them..."

"What are these?" The Mercury Sports lacky was stopped in mid-roll by Gregory Conveniencia, wearing the lovely all-yellow away kit (http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/Becquerelia2Light.gif).

"What's what?"

"These logos on the sleeves (http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/NoRetreats2.gif)."

"Yeah." added Daniel Abigantus, sporting the all-black home jerseys (http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/Becquerelia2Dark.gif). "They look like...cats."

"Black cats, yes." Said the lackey. It looked as if he was impatient to get on with spouting the wonders of the outfits.

Ambrose Wainwright had taken off the shirt to his Society of the Orange Banner orange alternate jersey (http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/Becquerelia2Third.gif) to look at the logos. "No retreat? What is this?"

"It's a slogan."

"Why?" asked Wainwright.

"It's to show the new attitude to the team."

"No retreat. And a black cat. What is this all supposed to add up too?" asked Abigantus.

"It's so that all opponents recognize that Becquerelia will not be a pushover in international play!" The conversation had drifted back to the internal sales pitch that he was in love with so very, very much, and Mercury lackey was instantly returned to his almost buoyant state. "There will be no retreat for our boys, and the black cat symbolizes the bad luck that will befall the teams that face us! It's really clever."

Tyrannio Licausi, wearing the blue goalie uniform (http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/Becquerelia2Goalie.gif) seemed impressed enough. "I suppose it is. But, won't this give people the impression that the team should be known as the 'Black Cats?' It seems weird to have a nickname hoisted on us."

"It's just symbolism, it's not the team's nickname." said the lackey, with a face that said he believed within the very core of his being that it was the case.

--

At the Mercury Sports World Cup Uniform Roll Out Event, Mercury Sports headquarters, Roentgen:

"The patented tight weave mesh construction allows for a smooth finish, easy breathablility, and unimpeded movement on the field."

Gregory Conveniencia rolled his eyes. Daniel Abigantus chuckled to himself. Wainwright tried to figure out how he roped into being a model. Tyrannio Licaussi just basked in the glorious press attention.

--

4 minutes later, at In The Loop, intheloop.bq, from "New Becquerelia Kits" by "David":

"...most interesting was the debut of a mascot, some sort of black alley cat it appears. They didn't dwell on it much. I like it though."

--

1 minute later, at In The Loop, intheloop.bq, comment to "New Becquerelia Kits" by "Peddler"

"I don't know. That cat looked like it was aobut to keel over due to hunger."

--

3 minutes later, at Square Room, blogsquareroom.bq, from "World Cup Uniform News" by "Mordechai Gershon"

"While I prefered the 'first generation' uniforms (designated 'Chemtrail style' by Mercury Sports), these new style uniforms have a understated elegance to them on first look. Alas, there are those hideous Black Cat logos on the side. Of all the animals in the world, a cat? Why not a white stallion, like for the Orange Banner. That makes more sense."

--

7 minutes later, at intelligent days, becquereliablog.bq/~intelligentdays, from "mercury sports" by "firedog"

"it looks as if the corrupt corporate masters at mercury sports have thus spoke, and made the national team the black cats. theres something racist about this."

--

6 mintues later, at Cointelpro Blog, cointelpro.bq, from "More Idiocy From 'firedog' " by "Thomas Quilici"

"Firedog, who makes all the Social Reformers look like absolute dolts, attacks Mercury Sports of all people. Why? Because he thinks the nickname "Black Cats" for the national football team is racist. I mean, what is going on in his little brain? It's not the nickname I would have picked, but racist? Moron."

--

2 minutes later, at Cointelpro Blog, cointelpro.bq, comment to "More Idiocy From 'firedog' " by "firedog"

"look here you stupid intergralist, just because your racist catholic masters and their corportate lapdogs plus the slavemedia dont want to recognize what is obvious to everyone whos head isnt in there -censored-, doesnt mean its stupid.

--

4 minutes later, at February Star Fans, februarystars.bq, from "Wither February Stars?" by "Celestine Abrell"

"Yeah, I'll be the first to admit, February Stars wouldn't have made a very good 'official' nickname, but it will still live in our hearts. Even while we support the Black Cats, hopefully to victory in Krytenia/Casari."

--

30 minutes later, at Bequerelian National Football Federation headquarters, phone call from Mark Crescentini to CEO of Mercury Sports Rogation Morrara

"Who in the world picked Black Cats of all things? I want to know who he is and where he is so I can send Ambrose down there to kick his scrawny little..."

--

6 hours, 19 minutes later, at King of Diamonds, kingofdiamondshq.bq, comment to "No Retreat" by "Spurwing Plover"

"KHALIF,ANNUNZIATE, DENEEN,AL ABTAH,FULLBRIGHT,ABIGANTUS,DENEENE,and then all those players who had played like REJISTANIA had a ORANGEBLUES,and AN EGG had the EGGS better than a name like LIBERALS or LIGERS,"

--

11 minutes later, at King of Diamonds, kingofdiamondshq.bq, comment to "No Retreat" by "Tedwing Plover"

"JEREMY JAFFACAKE"

--

[OOC]: Much thanks to Croatia's incomparable Luka Juras (http://free-zg.htnet.hr/luka1/), who's work was shamlessly ripped off without permission for the "No Retreat" black cat and burst.

In Desnike'tes JSK, no one really believed that the hosts would make the company which makes Coffee Desnike would have a chance to become world cup sponsor, but to the surprise of everyone, the hosts decided to not mind the fact that Desnike'tes beverages can be a bit karelizing. Or it was the fact that the rejistani company offers takilizing beverages as well. The rejistani Desnike'tes employees were celebrating the winning of the sponsorship by a reduced worktime. CEO Lyku I Syku decided to show the nonkarelaness of the beverages by sending the casari officials, who decided the sponsorship cans of different non-karelizing and takilizing beverages.

NMSoft awarded official sponsorship

Massive corruption scandal to be brushed aside

NEW MONTREAL - Amidst rejoicing at corporate headquarters over being selected as official technology sponsor of World Cup 29, NMSoft's "World Cup Football 29" shipped throughout the States today, with "Official Game of World Cup 29: Krytenia/Casari" stamped promenently on the packaging. The high spirits were somewhat dampened, however, when our sources revealed that these packages were prepared several days before the sponsorships were made public.

In addition to that, reports that various Casarian officials had recieved copies of the game pre-release, as well as new big-screen TVs and NMSoft's new 512 consoles, were swept under the carpet as the technology conglomerate prepared to go global. Reports that the company was considering promotional giveaways with the Cute Bunny Burger Corporation were neither confirmed nor denied, and it appears that the company is waiting word from Allanea whether or not the promotion will go ahead.

Rumors that several leading company official, suffering nervous breakdowns, had snuck into the Archregimancy through the Parc Louis-Marcel Jerome portal in New Montreal to commission various icons for a company chapel to be built on some unused property owned by the company in the East End of New Montreal in a effort to make up for their corruption were also denied. Reports that the chapel was to be devoted to the apostle Matthew, the sinful tax collector who was redeemed through following Christ, and would feature elaborate mosaics probably worth several million ounces of marijuana were also denied. Stockholders filed a protest over this "inappropriate use" of corporate profits, but were told by several visibly guilt-ridden executives to "go save themselves from the spirit of greed."

More will follow later, and we're sure this will just get odder and odder.

Fort Boston Castle, Fort Boston, Bostopia

Emperor Boston is sat in his 5th floor office, the one conveniently connected to the state bedroom and the rather nice balcony in which he liked to appear on and wave joyfully to his subjects. However, today appeared not to be a good day for waving joyfully at his subjects. The Empress and his credit card had disappeared in one mysterious foul swoop, and a semi-articulated lorry (truck) had just appeared outside the castle emblazoned with the name of a local shopping mall.

His Chief Aide, Haelwen, walks in the door.

[Haelwen] Morning, sire.
[Boston] Is it?
[Haelwen] Yes...that's why it says AM on your Thomas the Armoured Personnel Carrier Engine alarm clock.
[Boston] Ah...yes...what a clock! What news do you have for me?
[Haelwen] Well, the sponsors for the World Cup were announced just a few hours ago!
[Boston] Really? What did we get? Official Endzone painters?
[Haelwen] Wrong sport...
[Boston] Wait, you're talking about REAL football? There IS a God!
[Haelwen] Yes...indeed...well, we didn't actually get anything, we didn't enter anything for that matter, but I've spotted the opportunity for freebies!
[Boston] Free-bies? As in...free? For us?
[Haelwen] Yes! Now, my reckoning is, if we send a stamped addressed envelope to the World Cup heads...
[Boston] Why not a crate?
[Haelwen] Hmm...that works. Anyway, if we send a stamped addressed crate to the World Cup heads, saying how nice they are and how much we'd love to have some promotional "World Cup goodie bags" to hand out "to the Bostopian children, but not those dirty Laquaris who keep calling for independence", then they might send us quite a fair bit of the sponsorship material!
[Boston] Like what?
[Haelwen] Well, there's coffee for turning people into zombies!
[Boston] That's caffeine for you, yes.
[Haelwen] And flying bikes!
[Boston] They sound more fun than a trampoline mounted on springs!
[Haelwen] And BEER!
[Boston] Beer?
[Haelwen] YES!
[Boston] What about that football game? The official one?
[Haelwen] You know about the sponsors?!?
[Boston] Well, yes, but you seemed so excited, so I let you carry on. Anyway, get going with the crate!
[Haelwen] *Sigh*...yes sire.

There follows a Party Political Broadcast on behalf of the Party Party...

"Hello, Mike Toby from the Party Party here. You might well have seen that we recently became the official political party of World Cup 29. And might well think that we, as a relatively small party, are using it as a cheap propeghanda tool.

"Well, of course we are. I would have thought that would be blatantly obvious. But aside from that, it is a position that we also take great responsibility in holding. There are bound to be a lot of issues that spring up throughout this World Cup that need a political voice to... er... voice them. And that's what we intend on doing. Officially, too.

"For starters, there has been the controversial appointment of official Holy Icons of the World Cup. I know, not everyone would be in favour of such a move, but the truth is, they're there if you want them. If you don't want one supplying, don't get one. Like, duh!

"Anyway, that's it from us for now. We're off to discuss how best to organise parties with those lovely people at Bastille Drinks. But remember, we at the Party Party have responsibilities, so make sure you don't overdo it. Anything over the recommended 21 units of alcohol per day is bad, OK?"

In response to the announcement of the upcoming World Cup's official sponsors, the Ariddian Football Association wasted little time before stating its position.

"We understand that capitalist nations may see these sponsors as a positive contribution to the Cup," AFA President Anna Teals said in a special broadcast. "It's a matter of opinion, and capitalists often have a strange way of looking at things. For our part, our position is quite clear. Our players will continue to wear suits without any sponsor logos whatsoever, and all matches played in Ariddia will be in stadia without any advertisement boards. I find it regretable that a company such as CBBC, notorious for its unethical treatment of animals, should be given such recognition and opportunities. I call upon my fellow Ariddians to boycott their fast food restaurants when travelling abroad, although obviously it's up to them."

When asked about the inclusion of Archregimandrite Holy Icons as an official sponsor, and the controversy around that decision, Teal shrugged.

"I don't think that bringing religion into the Cup is a particularly good idea. Nor is bringing politics into it, even if it's the Schiavonian Party Party. I know some fans here in Ariddia have been asking us to request a Holy Icon for our team, but I don't think that would be appropriate."

No sooner as NMSoft's World Cup Football 29 had reached Atheistic Right than it had been reverse engineered by the many hackers there-in... Unofficial World Cup Bloodbath, was the result. It is more of a FPS set on a soccer field. The Atheistic Right programmers had added weapons and physical attacks. The game had a plot...

essentially Atheistic Right where the good guys and they had to stop the insidious plans of the Archregimancy Monks where where always dripping in blood and muttering in dark, almost occult undertones. The game revolves around the player using violence to kill or maim their opponents (who also had the ability to fight back) which allows them to accually win the football match. They face the monks in the finals and reclaim the World cup from the religious extremists within the Archregimancy.

As well as the system changes, there have been a number of model changes, The Archregimancy have bkacj robes that blood seems to ooze out of blooding the ground as they go past. Milchamian and Magnus Valerius players had their religious icons protuding unconfortably out their rear-ends. The Bazalonian players all had Bazalopes for heads, A Starblaydi players all Had shirts that said "I Had some brains, but then I ate them." and where very much zombie like... as a result their abilities where toned down to the point where they where the easiest team to beat... even an unranked team could beat them. And Rejistania players are very attacking agressive with their soccer and their 'stabity stab'.

The game has just started to be sold in Atheistic Right and consumers are buying up copies. The Atheistic Right official producer EvoSoft stated "It gives us a chance to get back for all the religious conspiracies purportrated on us by the Archregimancy and their New Montreal States lackeys. Using NMSoft's World Cup Football 29 as a basis for this was just the icing on the cake for me."

The game in question is not being officially being distributed to other nations but international payment options are available at the games website, www.uwcbb.co.ar

Officially, no notice was taken of the Atheistic Right modified version of NMSoft's World Cup Football 29, except a brief press statement saying: "Well, what were you guys expecting from them?. But buyers of the second and later releases of the game, which is to say the international market, noticed that, upon the entry of a certain fairly-easy-to-guess code, the AR side never seemed to win a game, or even come close. Forwards tripped over their shoelaces. Midfielders would have their shorts spontaneously fall to their ankles as they pursued their opponents. Defenders chasing the ball would smack into each other and fall unconscious while the ball slowly rolled into the net. The keeper was affected by a nasty case of narcolepsy. In lieu of substituting players normally, the AR coach would hurl a molotov cocktail at whomever was coming out, and then bodily throw the late player's replacement onto the pitch. And the monks of the Archregimancy were able to use their crosses to cause their opponents to flee in fear.

Fort Boston, Bostopia

[Griffis] ...the cat was again rescued by local firemen sporting catnip hats. And now to our next story tonight, citizens were today disappointed as the official World Cup 29 game was not released in stores across Bostopia. The game's developers have pointed out that Bostopia does not yet feature, being only a first time entry into the World Cup, yet Bostopia's consumers are still unhappy. I went onto the streets of Fort Boston to guage the thoughts of some citizens.

[Mark, 13, Fort Boston] It's not released! Gah! I'm sure there's a create-a-puppet mode on there! Or we could at least play as someone out of the NSF1 GP! Like Liverpool England, or Casari!
[Mrs.Tibbles, 74, Squigg, PFRD] My cat's just been rescued from a tree and this is what you ask me? I should handbag you here and now young man! Stop running away, you coward!
[E.Mperor, 19, Fort Boston Castle] This is one of the worst days of my life. I was so looking forward to playing it, but my stamp addressed crate seems to have got lost in the post!

As you can see, contrasting thoughts there. However, the Bostopian Government has contacted the game's developers, offering a sum of cash for them to develop a version of the game specific to Bostopia, featuring the Bostopian National Team. Ok, that's all the news we have time for, have a good evening, Bostopia.

"...and in other news, the Harakian national football team, the Hawks, this afternoon made a large splash when they took over Atherlon's main street in order to play an impromptu game of football, shutting down the street and forcing large traffic detours. The game was covered from twenty minutes in by a Haraki News Network team, and the footage of it will play uninterrupted for forty minutes immediately after this broadcast.

"The match was not announced beforehand, but the city, already launching into a World Cup frenzy, managed to scournge together a crowd of at least a thousand people to watch, many from rooftops or windows, with people with apartments or office space overlooking the game spontaneously charging ten dollars for people to enter and watch from their ideal viewpoints.

"Many have already begun criticizing the game as a publicity stunt, and if it was so it was a very good one. Television ratings and polls have shown a sixty percent increase in interest in the world cup even just four hours after this impromptu game. The ball used was one from a local sports shop, Sports And More... whose sales have skyrocketed since. The new game NMSoft World Cup 29, which was released in Haraki earlier this week, had sales per hour triple in the four hours following the game.

"Although the Hawks technically do not have enough players to make two full teams, they managed to field the entire starting group on one side and all the reserves plus tertiary goalkeeper Susana Hamilton as a defender and coach Lloyd Vargas as a midfielder. I won't give away the final score here, I'd rather let you watch the footage of it, shot from multiple cameras around the street. Forgive us for shaky or unreliable video quality, as all cameras were handheld and not automated in any way."

Smiling, Sam Sherman cued the video. The game itself had lasted nearly an hour, with the first twenty minutes missed by the camera crew. Joining in at wenty minutes, the score was still no goals. The goals themselves were made out of the space between backpacks, with several blankets laid down between them to let the keepers make dives on the pavement without hurting themselves. The players distinguished themselves with tucked and untucked shirts, with Haraki's starting eleven on one side and all the reserves plus the coach on the other. A massive crowd formed the edge of the field by the curb of the six-lane street.

The eventual score, forty minutes later, when they stopped playing amidst deafening cheers and mobbing fans, was 3-2 for the starters. Football star Mike Zendar had scored one on U21 goalkeeper Chris O'Hara, with midfielders Richard Weber and Luke Ford adding the other two. For the other side, coach Lloyd Vargas, once an all-star player for North Susa FC, scored a goal at forty minutes, with three-cup reservist Alicia Ribald having scored the first one. The team, sweating and looking happy, walked their way back to theit practice stadium, the crowd parting for them, almost in reverence. A few spectators tried to surge forward to grab the players, only to be held back by the rest of the crowd.

As they walked away, Mike Zendar, holding the game ball, turned around and tossed it high in the air, volley kicking it far away and into the crowd. It was caught by a young boy, only twelve years old, who was wearing a Kiros Tigers Mike Zendar shirt, and seemed overjoyed.

Manuel Cortes was also spotted in the crowd, and at one point even joined in the game for a short time on the substitute team. The Atherlon United offensive midfield, usually a starter for the Hawks, was banned from World Cup 29 thanks to getting in a fight in the late season. He was ejected from Harakian football for the rest fo the season and all of the playoffs, and disallowed to participate in the Cup.

Motivation for the apparently random game will most likely be revealed in later HNN sports segments, in interviews with team members.

Vanishing Bostopia boggles designers

"It was there when it left the factory" - spokesman

NEW MONTREAL - NMSoft today vehemently denied that they had failed to include the nation of Bostopia in the recently released World Cup Football 29.

"We got everyone, from Starblaydia and Bedistan to the smallest new nation that will be participating in this Cup," said Hughes St-Jean, company spokesman. "We could hardly call it official otherwise."

Bostopian clients who cannot find their nation should take their game to their retailer to demonstrate the problem for a free replacement copy.

Elven Times

With the announcement of the official sponcors for World Cup 29, consumers have been flocking to their local entertainment and computer stores to secure their copy of the official World Cup 29 game. Many have complained about the diffuculty that it takes to get the Marauders to advance. A petition has been made for the release of cheat codes by NMSoft so that the gamers could have an easier time.

In other news, the Marauders continue their training today after the players played with their respected clubs yesterday. Coach Florinitine will allow them to play next weeks matches, but refuses to let them continue on in the Leagues afterwards dispite numerous complaints from some of the star players.

With the latest from the pitch, this is Ron Santapa signing off.

Oliverry only gets English copies of the new game

Yesterday, in stores such as "Le Magazin électronique" and "Soft-wall-mart", the new NMSoft game "Coupe du Monde de Soccer 29" was seen everywhere... in English. "The law is clear: Half of the copies have to be in French. said Jean-Marc Jodoin, Minister of leasures of Capitale. It was a chart signed by the Prime Ministers of every provinces of Oliverry." he concluded. The official Oliverrian supplyer of the game, Jonsoft Co., said that they already sent a letter to NMSoft to tell them about the situation. "Coming from a nation where French is an official language, I thought they could have been able to send some French copies of the game" said John Gregory, official spokesperson at Jonsoft Co. Let's hope this problem will be ruled soon!

Diane Harley, TNN

Fort Boston, Bostopia

[Griffis] This is Greg Griffis, reporting LIVE on Channel 9 Griffwitness News, Bostopia, bringing YOU a special update, at 1:24AM! Propaganda and revolutionaries today appear to have got in the way of football, specifically the World Cup 29 football game. This station was earlier mis-informed as to the reason for the game not being released across Bostopia today.

Communist revolutionaries in the Bostopian Arbad Isles somehow managed to sneak onboard the plane carrying the games while it refuelled at the Arbad City airport, stealing the games, and then issuing false reports that the game had not been released as NMSoft had failed to include Bostopia.

The Bostopian Government is committing itself to recovering the games, and shipping them out across Bostopia as soon as possible. This station apologises for the mis-information handed out. We now return to 'HELP! I've been trodden on by a Geesemonkey during a rather bad stunt but somehow it's still funny and I'll make millions in t-shirts!'.

Unofficial World Cup Blood Bath had received an update... Firstly the Bostopian tean continuely fades in and out of reality.

Oliverians spoke in a language that no one understood even Oliverians, totally removing any chance of organisation

The Elven Mauraders consistantly squabble internally

And New Montreal States have their position of the Archregimancies lackeys upgraded to the Archregimancies bumbling, idiotic lackies. Something every supervillian needs.

Yet Another Screwup Occurs

One million bilingual copies sent to Cockbill Street

NEW MONTREAL - In yet another screwup for the error-plagued World Cup Football 29 game released by NMSoft, it was revealed that one million copies of the game, packaged in French that was 2.3 times larger than the English, and dubbed in French that was 2.16 times louder than the English, were mistakenly labeled for shipment to Cockbill Street instead of Oliverry.

"Calisse! Pas un autre de ces maudites problèmes," shouted a spokesman with two mysterious figures with "OLF" badges looking like they had just stepped out of an Aislin cartoon. He continued: "Nous regrettons de vous informer que les copies bilingues que nous avons preparé pour nos clients Oliverrien et qui ont été declaré pure laine par ces agents de l'OLF ont été envoyé a Cockbill Street. Nous sommes en train de preparer de nouveaux copies, et ceux qui ont acheté les jeux seulement en Anglais pourront les exchanger a leurs aise."

Critics of the company had noted that not only was this a really dumb thing to do, but that Cockbill Street vanished from existence many years ago. No further comment was offered by NMSoft.

[OOC: Sorry if my French is a wee bit off; haven't had to write something that long in a while]

Bicycle Sales soar after WC Sponsorship confirmed

The Elrichian Flying Bike Association yesterday announced their glee at securing WC Sponsorship, and revealed that they had already enjoyed a huge increase in sales.

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b274/John_Spinks/bike.jpg

"It's been incredible," said EFBA President Sonya Bike, "We're so happy the WC have chosen the environmentally friendly path - and we're delighted with the response from the public."

Sonya went on to state that in the last week alone, The EFBA had sold 21,000 models, 4,000 more than in their whole previous financial year. Among celebrity buyers include Centre-right opposition leader David Chamelion, who now flies his way to work, taking his helmet off at the site of cameras.

It appears that the Elrichian national side themself have got involved. The Elrichian Football Association confirmed reports that they had purchased 30 bikes to assist with the training of their WC 29 squad. "The EFBA offer a good, clean product and we intend to "fly Elrich" to all away games this campaign" stated EFA spokesman Mike Garry.

Retailing at only 1000 TicTacs, the EFBA expect even more sales, and with the international market taking notice, they can only rise higher.

"Xamjona'het Tekne 29'het" available

Rejistanians will not be able to play the official World Cup game due to legislation, which outlaws closed-source software in Rejistania. This again led to a movement to legalize it at least partially. However, rejistanian hobbyist programmers made a program, called Xamjona'het Tekne 29'het, which is basically an Open Source World Cup soccer game for different rejistani computer platforms as SI, ADVANSID, VIKI and SI-X. Hobbyist, OpenSource evangelist and programmer for this game, Teke I Daran, commented to reporters of the KaMaRi Update: "You see, we have this laws and they exist for a reason. This of course means that if we want software, we are responsible to make it. I mean, the price for freedom is coding days and nights long. I consider XT29 a great game and surely as exciting as the NMS game."

OTC celebrates his involvment in International jersey making! Get a jersey done by OTC and get it for 50% of its real value! An offer to not miss! Click here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=488021) to not miss the frenzy of this!!

The following is an official advertisement of the Bastille Alcoholic Beverage Company. Warning: Commercial contains teenage drinking and slang. Commercial may not be suitable for children and may be offensive to others.

The camera turns from a quite residential street in Kelse to an upstairs bedroom, where two teenage Kelsian girls sit, laughing and watching the television (http://www.celebritywonder.com/mp/2003_Scary_Movie_3/2003_scary_movie_3_001.jpg). The cheery atmosphere, however, is disrupted when the channel is actually changed to a repeat from the Baptism of Fire. "Eww, gross! I hate football, turn it!" one says to the other as the other quickly changes it to a hockey match. "Oh, my, gosh! I hate sports! Icky!" she says as she changes it once more, this time the screen flashes to the NS F1GP. The two scream in horror as they quickly run out of the room and downstairs to a kitchen.

"Ew, gross. Television is so scary these days!" one says as the other is fixated on a large bottle of Bastille that sits on the kitchen counter. The camera zooms in onto the logo and the bottle as the girl grabs it, opens it, and takes a sip as the camera angle changes so that it is looking down on her. "Aaah! I love Bastille!" she says as the other pushes her out of the way and drinks her share of the beer. "Bastille is officially sex!"

"So, what do you want to do now?"
"I don't know... let's try the tele."
"You sure?"
"Positive."

The two head into the living room and sit down around a large television and begin flipping channels once more.

"NSVision Song Contest?"
"Boring!"
"Montréal Film Festival Coverage?"
"Yawn!"
"Music Videos?"
"As If!"
"Generic teenage drama about Kelsian Teenagers looking for love in all the wrong places?"
"Yuck!"
"World Cup 29 Qualifiying Coverage?"
"World Cup 29? I love the World Cup!"
"I love football!!!!"


The screen turns back onto the quiet residential streets where the Bastille Logo (http://img146.imageshack.us/img146/2466/bastilemain3vs.png) zooms into the screen. A voice, recognizable as one of the girls, announces "Bastille Drinks, official sponser of the 29th World Cup!" A small message quickly flashes, and the commercial ends.

The Bastille Alcoholic Beverage Company advises you drink responsibly and within local laws. Bastille beer may not enhance ones interest in football - but anything can happen when your drunk or under the influence. Models used in commercial were not harmed in any way before or after the shoot, and were 16 years-of-age and over during the shoot. Please remember to enjoy Bastille!

Official BFSA Press-release

We have decided upon a national team sponsor, something that has not happened before in the Bazalonian World Cup tradition. Despite Elrichian Flying Bicycles being the official World Cup transport provider. We wish to announce that we have decided to take Verona Inc's and BazAir's up on their joint sponsorship offer under the name of their joint venture Baz Road & Air,"Whether by Road or Air, We'll get it there".

We are pleased with Verona's and BazAirs joint submission. In our opinion it was the technically best offer that was provided to Casari but for some reason they went with the Elrichian Flying Bicycles. Either way where ever you see the Bazalopes you will see a Verona Bus and flying to their destination in a BazAir plane.

.................................................

"Bazalonia Condemn's Unofficial World Cup Blood Bath as 'Propoganda'" by Nev Gould

In a recent discussion with the BFSA president James Gaines, and backed up by the Minister of Foreign Affairs and Trade, Richard Menszae. The Unofficial World Cup Blood Bath is nothing but Darwinist propoganda. The Archregimancy is nothing like as projected in the game and neither is Athesitic Right. Also the extreme violence in the game is something to be denounced. Any attempts to import the game into Bazalonia will result in the games being destroyed.

James Gaines was particularily un-happy with the Bazalope-headed Bazalope team. This is an insult to our team. We await the draw of the World Cup so we can wipe the smile of those nutters with a sound drumming.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v338/Oli55/logoAOS.png http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v338/Oli55/OTClogo.gif

Oliverry unvails all-new jerseys from OTC!

You've read right! Oliverry, which already had kits, asked OTC to make new ones in case they could be better. The old kits were not popular amongst the fans and the players themselves, so a change was needed. Well, it happent! Here are those new kits:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v338/Oli55/olisoccerwhite-1.pnghttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v338/Oli55/olisoccerdark-1.png

"By doing these new kits, we hope to get publicity and to get the chance to go many kits in the next years" said Jean-René Tellier, president of OTC

Elven Times
Marauders Have New Kits

Today the ESC recieved their order from OTC Football/Hockey Storefront. Inside were the brand new uniforms for the Marauders. Made of high quality, and a professional design, the Marauders will be looking decent in their attempt to qualify and move on in this World Cup.

Home
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v338/Oli55/ESFsoccdark.png

Away
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v338/Oli55/ESFsoccwhite.png

Article by Ron Santapa

MONASTIC FOOTBALL ASSOCIATION PRESS RELEASE
Official Holy Icons Blessed for NMSoft and Atheistic Right

The Monastic Football Association and the Holy Synod of the Archregimancy are pleased to release two new Official World Cup Icons.

The first of these is of the Holy Apostle and Evangelist Matthew, the tax-collector who was redeemed by following Christ. Following a recent incident in the Archregimancy about which we will say little - but seems to reveal a certain enthusiasm for the writer of the first gospel on the part of the company's employees - Saint Matthew is the Official Holy Icon of NMSoft, developers of the Official World Cup 29 computer game.

Holy Apostle and Evangelist Matthew (http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a319/vakraas/Matthew.jpg)

However, the Monastic Football Association would like to remind NMSoft that "Matthew, acknowledging his sinfulness, repaid fourfold anyone he had cheated, and he distributed his remaining possessions to the poor". A lesson that the NMSoft board will no doubt find inspiring.


The Monastic Football Association meanwhile feels little need to respond to the increasingly deranged ramblings of Atheistic Right, but are happy to nonetheless announce an Official Holy Icon for that unfortunate nation:

The Sunday of the Blind Man (http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a319/vakraas/BlindMan.jpg)

One is reminded of how our Saviour opened the eyes of a man "who was blind from his birth" (John 9:1). Something which seems somehow appropriate in this case, though we shan't be holding our collective breaths for a modern repeat of the miracle.

OOC: I just feel like annoying the Archregimancy, if you think I crossed a line with this just say.

Collonie would like to ask the Archregimancy for a religious. However as a lot of Collonians have started to adopt Gnosticism and other rejected parts of Christianity including our star striker Clyde Misterson. As such we believe that our best Holy Icon would be the wrongly condemned Judas Iscariot. If you could help us with this it would be very helpful.

Sincerely,
Claude Moshen

An official ARFA Tirade against the Archregimancy Icons

It is not us that are blind, it's you, you whacked out, blind to the truth, murderous monks of deception and trickery. But your false beliefs in a god or even belief in a relgious system will all come to nothing. You will spend your days trying to appease a non-existant diety for what? It will all come to naught. We do not accept this icon as it is an acceptance of religion and no person who is in their right mind would ever accept religion as a solution to anything. Have fun with your delusions and false icons. It's at least something that can make your miserable life worth something. Granted it has a very miminal worth now but at least it's there compared to nothing.

Konigseifert Chronicle
Surprises and Controversies... It Wouldn't Be The World Cup Without Them

When the Geisenfried national team walked onto the pitch of Crown Stadium for practice, they'd have a few surprises for the fans watching them, some more controversial then others. The first, most notable surprise was the kits they were wearing... widely expected to go through World Cup 29, fast approaching, with the same kits that they did during World Cup 28. However, today they came out wearing something totally different. The new kits were generally well recieved by fans, and once available, sales are expected to be humongous. Here's a look at the new unis:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v643/Siegreich/WC29KitII.gif

The next surprise was the announcement that the Golden Eagles were going to accept the Archregimancy's offer of a holy icon to all World Cup teams. The decision came under fire from various sides, but it was stated by the GKBF that it was to be 'a sign of goodwill.' The Orthodox faith of the Archregimancy is seen to be at odds with the Protestant majority in Geisenfried, as well as the large nonreligious minority, but the GKBF stated that they had tried to make the figure selected to be acceptable to most. As for who that figure is, the ones most mentioned in rumors are Saint Methodius (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Methodius) and Saint Cyril (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Cyril). Any other reasons why these two were possibly chosen are unknown.