NationStates Jolt Archive

Pre-World Cup 28 Baptism of Fire Cup in Legalese and Bazalonia
Rosters, RP and Scores Thread

The Baptism of Fire is a pre-World Cup tournament for debutant teams to send their World Cup squad to their first warm-up competition to gain vital experience (and crucial KPB-ranking points). For instance, the BoF17 runner-up, Aquiliana, jumped from rank 200 (new nation status) to rank 69, and made it to the Quarter-Finals of the 17th World Cup. This unbelievable performance just shows you what RPing can produce. Consider, also, that a nation that played in the same BoF without RP'ing merely went from 200 up to 183, and finished last in their World Cup Qualifying group.

Unlike the proper World Cup, RP bonus is extremely important in the BoF, as all teams start off equal. This means that if one nation has a better RP bonus than another, they have a better chance of winning. Roleplaying your matches gives you a better chance of winning your matches. RP Bonus will be the only separator in the pack. We hope that the non-participating nations will be weeded out or at least noted prior to the start of the World Cup, as we like to feel special by you RPing in our tournaments, so we give you bonuses to help you win.

There will be two regions in the competition, The Legalese Region, and the Bazalope Region, which will then each be divided into groups. Each team will play one match against the other teams in their group, followed by Quarter- and Semi-Finals within their own Region. The Champions of the respective regions will meet at the 91,523-seat Titanplex in Francopolis, Legalese, for the BoF Championship.

The Draw was held after the close of signups, and the results and schedules are as follows:

Legalese Region
Somalialand Group
Aigosthena
AwalKB
Dicuban
Good Happiness
Warrior Treblah
Mahaliastan
GarfieldtheFat

Tonissian Group
Bothen
Tessan
Ashterrus
Sovietry
Ozzelia
Sativaville
Marceau State

Bazalope Region

Hockey Canadian Group
Spindomia
Danskmark
Horzel
Krajkovia
Mrkvejina
United Island Empires
Third England

Shearer Hell Group
Kedalfax
Tecpatl
Dingzanwa
The NSSR
Ulyanovia
Intyny
Benlandngdo



Schedule: The first matchday shall be on Tuesday, June 6.
MD1: 1v2 3v4 5v6 7 off
MD2: 3v1 2v7 4v5 6 off
MD3: 1v4 6v2 7v3 5 off
MD4: 5v1 2v3 6v7 4 off
MD5: 6v1 2v5 4v7 3 off
MD6: 1v7 3v5 4v6 2 off
MD7: 2v4 6v3 5v7 1 off




N.B.: The groups are named after infamous n00bs, namely, the certain nations one would wish not to emulate. Though to be fair, HC and Tonissia have been around a long while in longevity, and that's not a bad example

<a herald comes forth from the Royal Palace with a document in hand>

"By order of His Most Noble, Righteous and Benevolently Beloved Majesty King John IV the following Lords and Knights of the land shall represent the honor of Tessan against the best the world can offer. No doubt these brave and virtuous men shall bring glory and renown to our kingdom and His Majesty.

Style 2-1-7 (maximum Positive/attacking modifier- you didn’t list a range)

Coach- Duke Anton Conway age 55 a very respected man in Tessan, ruler of the second largest duchy in Tessan. His actual knowledge of soccer is suspect however.

F- Sir James Kenmore age 28 the epitome of knighthood and actually knows how to play
F- Baron Kyle Artest age 22 poor sport and bad tempered to go with a lack of skill means many yellow and red cards in his future. His father was one of King John’s best friends so he is on the team
F- Prince Daniel Convay age 19- son of Duke Anton and the only reason he is here
F- Royal Prince Jeffery Pierson age 20- second son of His Majesty, plays well
F- Sir Garrad Colton age 28- first mentioned to the king about the sport and got a spot on the team as a result
F- Sir Brian Dallas- age 30- probably the most skilled of the forwards
F- Sir Dashon Boonermann age 27 – Prince Jeffery’s personal guard and stays on the team to keep an eye on him
Reserve F- Goodman Fredrick Lee age 29 the token commoner who is not expected to play much if at all
Reserve F- Squire James Pierce age 18- the King’s squire and thus his spot on the team

M- Baron Gordon Kingsfoil age 25 has built his own soccer field on his lands at the king’s command which has served as the team’s training area and was given a spot on the team as a result.
Reserve M- Baron David Jenkins age 33 A new devotee to the sport and now obsessed with it, has enough rank to make the knights actually listen to him but the higher ranks tend to ignore him and made him a reserve
Reserve M- Squire William Kendricks age 19 best ballhandler of this team but too junior to be a starter

D- Sir Jacob Allensworth age 30- picked up the sport very quickly and is a very good defender which leads to some mocking by the younger knights who prefer the flashiness of goal scoring
D- Baron Justin Crey age 25 actually knows what’s he’s supposed to be doing out there on the field and ironically this means the defense is probably the strong point of the team
Reserve D- Sir Thomas O’Toole age 28- won a jousting tournament for the right to be on the team
Reserve D/M- Sir Milton Worth age 27- the Crown Prince’s personal bodyguard and therefore also on the team

Keeper- Crown Prince John Pierson age 25- heir to the throne- an average keeper but rank not skill matters in Tessan so he is starting
Reserve Keeper- Yeoman Carl Martin age 26- a far better keeper but lacking the rank to make the starting lineup

Bazalonian Federation of Soccer Associations Welcomes New Footballing Nations

Performing it's first official hosting of a World Cup-affiliated tournament the Bazalonian Federation of Soccer Associations (BFSA) welcomes the soccer teams of all the nations entered in the Bazalope Region of the Baptism of Fire.

Bellow is a list of the Groups as well as the Stadiums that will be used during the process

Hockey Canadian Group
Spindomia
Danskmark
Horzel
Krajkovia
Mrkvejina
United Island Empires
Third England

SeaBazalope Arena which is in the city of Cantinople boasts a total of 40,000 seats, and will be used for all group matches. Sitting in an ideal location, right in the centre of Cantinople and what seams only metres away from the cities famous beaches the SeaBazalope Arena is certainly a nice place to visit

Drago Soccer Field(DSF) situated in the city of Drago containing a total of 39,000 seats. The DSF is the only 'field' that is managed by the BFSA. Actually containing a fully equiped stadium around it the DSF has been a sporting institution in Bazalonia for as long as anyone can remember

Stadium Verona situatied in the idealic city of Hughestown which was founded on a plataeu near an ancient, now dead, Volcano - Mt Hughes, Stadium Verona boasts a 45,000 seat capacity and is the highest major sports field in the nation. Stadium Verona is also a multi-sport stadium that is constantly re-marked to contain whatever sport is comming. So players may get confused. Stadium Verona is sponsored by Verona Inc. Makers of fine quality Bazalonian cars. Check them out.

Shearer Hell Group
Kedalfax
Tecpatl
Dingzanwa
The NSSR
Ulyanovia
Intyny
Benlandngdo

Via Voleta Dome was the nations biggest stadium until TeleBaz Stadium and CBBC Dome. It is located in Pinksford and has 55,000 places for the crowd to park their behinds and watch the game. Pinksford is a very frindly town but also have very strict ideas about what is acceptible behaviour. Expect to end up the night in jail if your celebrations get too boistrous.

Trevton City Enclosed Field as the name suggests is in Trevton city, it contains a total of 30,000 seats and is the only stadium/arena/dome/field that is not directly controlled by the BFSA however Trevton city does a great job at making sure this field is up there with the best that this nation has to offer.

CBBC Dome in Woolgolga was constructed especially for the Baptism of Fire and was financially supported by the Allanean-based firm Cute Bunny Burgers Corp, which has CBBC markings plastered all over the walls and on the field of this stadium. In addition the Bazalonian arm of the companies security division will be responsible for security once inside any and all stadiums used during the BoF. It contains a total of 75,000 seats and is only outseated by the nations crowning glory of a stadium. The TeleBaz Stadium.

TeleBaz Stadium will not be used during the group stage and more information will be provided at a latter stage.

We recommend that you familiarise yourself with local customs and laws. A website has been set up to help fans and the teams coming to Bazalonia to get all the information they need. It has been set up in conjuction between the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade along with the BFSA. It can be found at www.footballingBazalonia.gov.bz. Thank you

[ooc]
THERE ARE NO STYLE MODIFIERS

For ease of RPing please post the following in your roster. This ensures that no steps on anyone elses toes. If nothing is posted Yes is to be assumed for everything.


If posting before me my opponents may:
Choose my goalscorers: Y/N
Godmod Scoring Events: Y/N
RP injuries to my players: Y/N
Godmod injuries to my players: Y/N
Hand out Yellow cards to my players: Y/N
Hand out Red cards to my players: Y/N
Godmod Other Events: Y/N

The Arbuckle Sportsman


Claw Clan Announces Roster


LEGALESE- The GarfieldtheFat Claw clan roster has been announced for this years BoF and WC29. We run a 4-2-4

Forwards

10. Justin Long (Odie FC)*
3. Bobby Hanson (Arbuckle United)*
22. Jake DeMassioz (Arlene Cove FC)*
4. Randell Gottlieb (Green-Ville City Blazers<Green-Ville>)*
9. Adrian Gondloxa (Arbuckle United)
29. Jack Sauer (NNFC<Virginia Nova>)
17. Chris Daniels (St Pookie Bears)
45. Caleb Hawkins (Captian Jacks)

Midfield

13. Ian Jessup (Captian Jacks)*
78. Lance Huideero (Lasgania City)*
4. Henry Dove (Guidoville Giants AFC)
25. Paul Doogle (Feline Fedral)

Defenders

1. Hugo Fasten (Lasagnia City)*
29. Burke Isler (Captain Jacks)*
30. Larry Dove (HVFC)*
87. Aaron Jones (Binkiesville Interscope)*
20. Chuck Amarro (Arbuckle United)
44. Owen Nagaro (St Pookie Bear)
9. Ken Davis (Arlene Cove FC)
26. J.J. Benson (Feline Federal)

Goal

0. Dusty Randolph (Arlene Cove)
00. Garry Thyson (Guidoville Giants AFC)


Opponents


Aigosthena
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/romania.jpg

AwalKB
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/Grenada.jpg

Dicuban
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/Brazil.jpg

Good Happieness
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/north_korea.jpg

Warrior Treblah
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/Liechtenstein.jpg

Mahaliastan
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/mahaliastan.jpg

The Krajkovia Bears - Baptism of Fire Squad


Staff

General Manager - Konstantin Eshtrekov (52)
An experienced coach in the domestic league who was appointed by the FFK to advise the new national head coach on Krajkovian football. He stays with the squad as general manager and handles much of the media work.

Head Coach - Daniel Gurchev (48) (Tadjikistan)
One of the best goalkeepers of his generation, starring for both Vaksh Qorgontheppa and the Tadjik national team. Gurchev represented the Tigers at four World Cup finals, finally retiring at the age of 40, and was their assistant coach at the last tournament. Appointed as Krajkovia’s first national coach eight months ago. An excellent motivator.

Assistant Coaches - Alexandr Pareiko (41) & Vasily Semakin (38)

Team Doctor - Doctor Yuri Zolin (55)


Starting Eleven


1. Vitaly Andreev (24, GK) - Spartak Tzaragrad
Andreev is arguably the safest pair of hands in the premier league so it is no surprise that he wears the number 1 shirt. But he, like the other keepers in the squad, has looked nervous during the preparations. Possibly something to do with having a former keeper of Gurchev’s quality as their new coach.


2. Maxim Datsenko (25, D/DMR) - Dinamo Bezigrad
A marauding right wingback from the troublesome region of Berezina. Some believe that the inclusion of a number of Berezeans in the squad is more a political gesture than a sporting one but Datsenko is in purely on merit.

3. Leonid Milevskiy (28, D/DML) - Spartak Tzaragrad
Left sided defender who lends a nice balance to the side. His left foot is a potent weapon in the Bears’ arsenal and he takes all the set pieces from that side.

4. Ivan Bulyga (23, DC) - FC Kairat
A big strong defender from Norska. Some would describe Bulyga as uncompromising, others might say vicious. He had the worst disciplinary record in the league last season but his defensive qualities meant he could not be left out.

5. Dimitry Kolodin (30, DRC) - Dinamo Tzaragrad
An experienced campaigner and an excellent organiser of the defence. No one in the squad can time a challenge quite like Kolodin. Recently left Spartak Tzaragrad for city rivals Dinamo.

6. Vladislav Perov (26, DLC) - Traktor Burukan
Gurchev prefers Perov on the left of his three centrebacks as Perov is naturally left sided. But the defender has his critics.


7. Andrey Tursunov (25, DMC) - Iskra Zaranya
A classic midfielder enforcer who rarely crosses the halfway line. Tursunov has no skill to speak of but his pretty damn good at what he does.

8. Sergei Petrenko (32, AMC) - Zenith Tzaragrad
Ask any fan to name the best Krajkovian player of recent years at you’re almost guaranteed they’ll say Petrenko. He may be the wrong side of 30 and lacking the pace of his youth but the playmaker is still capable of unlocking any defence with his range of passing. He takes a mean freekick too.

11. Vadim Baltiev (22, DMC) - Shakhtar Zaranya
A young and talented midfielder player. Like Tursunov he will sit back to allow Petrenko and the wingbacks to drive forward at will.


9. Alexei Arvashin (18, SC) - Spartak Tzaragrad
Arvashin burst onto the scene at the back end of last season with 8 goals in the final 10 games. He’s followed that up with 24 this season which won him the golden boot. With that record Arvashin is a first choice striker despite his tender years.

10. Ruslan Bairamov (27, SC) - Dinamo Viraspol
An experienced striker who doesn’t have the best scoring record in the squad. But Gurchev values the strength in the air Bairamov offers and sees him as the best foil for Arvashin.



Reserves


12. Andrey Kechinov (28, DRC) - IAK Tzaragrad
13. Nikolay Sokolov (24, GK) - Traktor Burukan
14. Renat Gusev (25, AMRC) - Dinamo Tzaragrad
15. Oleg Kornilenko (21, SC) - Shakhtar Zaranya
16. Victor Kovalchuk (24, AMC/FC) - Dinamo Viraspol
17. Georgi Khmaruk (25, MLC) - Dinamo Viraspol
18. Vitaly Yermilov (27, DLC) - FC Krovlador
19. Mikhail Ashvetia (23, MC) - Spartak Tzaragrad
20. Levan Barasa (23, AML) - Zenith Tzaragrad
21. Sergei Shiskin (21, DRLC) - Dinamo Viraspol
22. Igor Khomich (26, GK) - IAK Tzaragrad
23. Dimitry Klyuev (28, MRC) - Neftchi Bezigrad
24. Roman Sharonov (24, FC) - Dinamo Bezigrad


Style

A quite attacking +3


Formation

Arvashin Bairamov





Petrenko

Baltiev Tursunov


Milevskiy Datsenko




Perov Bulyga Kolodin (C)




Andreev

Kit (Supplied by JMC)

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/KRJ33.png

And . . .

My opponent if they RP first can do the follow . . .
Almost anything you like. Just no crippling injuries. Oh, and no killing m'kay.

AwalKB National Team Announces Final Roster

AWALKB:At approximately 4:30 yesterday afternoon Coach Frap Pachino announced his final roster after much pressure from AwalKB's "Prime Minister," Dunkin Do Nut. The roster is shaped around a main 4-3-1-2 formation, as the teams primary center midfielders have trouble running a regular 4-4-2 formation with a offensive center-mid and a defensive. Pachino has been quoted to saying of his two center midfielders as "complete idiots, run [like] chickens with their heads cut off." The roster is reported as follows:

AwalKB Sex Gods
Style 4-3-1-2

Head Coach: Frap Pachino 41 *--* DECEASED *--*
Head Coach: Alfred Flatt 37
Asst Coach: Cameron Bleu 63

Starters

Pos Num Name Age Description
GK 99 Taylor Johnson 23 Starting Goalkeeper on AwalKian First League for Fairy-Town Land-Rovers.
RD 13 Alfred Sheer 18 Rated as the Top Rookie Defender in AwalKian First League this past season.
LD 16 George Labal 28 Rated as the Top Overall Defender in the AwalKian First League this past season.
ST 11 Kedzie Tomario 25 Acclaimed Stopper for great speed and brute strength.
SW 05 Ninja Louis 27 Small and agile sweeper, little footskills, but incredible speed.
RM 02 Andrew Wilson 28 Current Captain of AwalKB Sex Gods with 10 years of AwalKian First League experience under his belt.
DM 09 Matthew Bowdo 20 Incredibly quick footed midfielder, invited to tryout after being seen on the U-21 National ChampionshipTeam.
LM 01 Andre Rico 19 Strong and fast outside midfielder for the Fairy-Town Land-Rovers with a bright future ahead of him.
OM 04 Andrew Jalisanzo 27 Steady and calm Offensive Midfielder, accustomed to setting up Strikers with near-perfect passes from the middle
ST 10 Jeffery Sanzo 26 Acclaimed as the best player in AwalKB for his huge arsenal of moves astonishing the best of defenders all over the nation.
ST 06 Jonathan Calzone 26 Right-hand man of Jeff Sanzo, the pair have been linked together since playing on the same U-16 Team 10 years ago.


Reserves:

GK 98 Colin Nosefed 20 Solid Goalkeeper, almost equivelant in skill with Johnson, yet lacking experience.
SK 97 Albert Walker 22 The lone Sweeper-Keeper on the 23-man roster, acclaimed for great footskills as well as keeper skills in tight games.
DF 21 Landon Fromdondo 15 Solid Defender yet small at such a young age, astounding footskills.
DF 24 Zachary Cruz 21 Top defender on the U-21 AwalKB National Team
MD 22 Alessandro Ramirez 24 Starting Midfielder for Walksburgh Tigers
MD 25 Albeit Kien 25 Starting Midfielder for Gahnese Thorns
MD 23 Poncho Pavlo 19 Top Midfielder for the U-21 AwalKB National Team
MD 26 Zindale Kennedy 31 Former National Starter, yet past his prime.
MD 27 Chuck Memorex 24 Son of famous computer manufacturer, some speculate on team because of fathers economic influence.
ST 29 Hitch Hiker 26 Believed to have hitched a ride to team tryouts.
ST 42 Daniel Foreman 22 Striker upon which we've never heard of...
ST 28 Buck Blacksmith 14 Youngest Player ever to make the AwalKB National Team at such an astounding age.


Hopes for the first game against Aigosthena are high as the AwalKian First League has gained prominence throughout the Region. A television turnout of over 60% of AwalKB's 1.8 Billion Person population is anticipated, and the "Prime Minister" has warned that any riots or feelings of non-patriotism during the Baptism of Fire will result in the "Police" taking drastic measures.Francis Longhorn


[OOC] Opponents may(if post before me):
Choose my goalscorers: Y
Godmod Scoring Events: Y
RP injuries to my players: Y (Don't kill them, that's what the death penalty is for...wahah)
Godmod injuries to my players: Y
Hand out Yellow cards to my players: Y
Hand out Red cards to my players: Y
Godmod Other Events: Y

SATIVAVILLE STONER
"We tell you where the Doritos are!!

Head Coach Ivan Schtuldz of the Sativaville Fritos, as the men's national team will be called, announced today the starting lineups for the Baptism of Fire. The team will play a mildly agressive +2. and have a 3-3-4 formation

(starters marked in green, captain marked with an *)

1. Billie Queenan-GK
2. Stephan Kampmann- LD
3. *Efrain Strauf- MD
4. Jess Foo- RD
5. Stacy Ragains- LM
6. Edmond Gainor- SW
7. Teddy Terada- RM
8. Miles Wecker- LW
9. Teddy Mintey- LF
10. Vicente Penas- RF
11. Humberto Pellecchia- RW
12. Louie Casten- GK
13. Micah Masterman- DEF
14. Stephan Sabatelli- MID
15. Dewayne Virginia- FOR/WNG

Schedule for Sativaville who will compete in the Legalese Region and the Tonissian Group.

MD1- Ozzelia
MD2- BYE
MD3- Tessan
MD4- Marceau State
MD5- Bothen
MD6- Sovietry
MD7- Ashterrus

Since these teams, alons with sativaville are newly competing squads, not much is known about our fellow baptismees. Following the team and reporting on the matches for the STONER will be intrepid reporter Monty Python.

[OOC] Opponents may(if post before me):
Choose my goalscorers: Y
Godmod Scoring Events: N
RP injuries to my players: Y (Don't kill or maim them, they are potheads not crackheads)
Godmod injuries to my players: N
Hand out Yellow cards to my players: Y
Hand out Red cards to my players: Y
Godmod Other Events: N (unless it weather-related or your team got a buzz off the fumes)

[rememebr these guys are pot-heads they won't remember anything you do to them so have fun!!!]

FORZA!

Los Lupe (The Wolves) of the great nation of Ozzelia are set to participate in their first international football tournament! The Federazziono Ozelano di Gioco Padoballo have announced their first manager and squad, as well as kits kindly provided by Eccipa Baldini.

OOC: Bold denotes starters, formation 5-3-2, style mod 0.

Manager: Stefano Larini (38)

Goalkeepers (costode): Paolo Robbini (27), Roberto Verdi (19), Ecoso Carizzi (20)

Defenders (protezze): Luigi Coloni (25), Gianni Terezzi (25), Giacomo Calighieri (28), Viando Di Rio (29), Gaviolo Neffole (32), Viando Ponte (21), Jarno Agrisetti (23), Simeone Campobasso (29), Cristiano Pavelli (34)

Midfielders (centrite): Giuseppe Coloni (27), Francesco Lumi (23), Stefano Girardelli (26), Dario Buscemi (30), Giancarlo Destri (20), Luca D'Aranello (17)

Attackers (percusse): Michele Jarnizi (26), Viando Ronaldi (21), Tiocado Valciotti (20), Pietro Anatro (23), Germano Fozzi (22)

Kits (eccipa):
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/OZZ3.png

http://www.imgcity.net/server/primary/SLAMMRW29C.GIF
The Official Newsletter of Marceau International Soccer

Marceau est fier pour annoncer le Tableau de thier pour le Baptisim de Défi de Feu avant qu'Ils vont sur WC 29 ceci sera un bon air en haut pour la Jeune Escouade.

Marceau is Proud to Annouce their Roster for the BoF for WC 29


Marceau
Formation:3-4-3-1
Style:+4
Head Coach:Alain Vignault

The Starters
GK: Mark Cossile (Marceau FC) – 26(Starter RV National Team WC27,WC28)

LB: Jaques Mallar (1922 Marceau) – 32(Starter RV National Team WC27,WC28)

CB:Jean-Simon Allard(PSV Marceau)-20

RB: Yvon Lafluer (1922 Marceau) – 23(RV National Team Sub WC28 Reserves WC27)

LM:Vincent Zaore-Vanie (Laval FC)-22

LCM:Marc Myre(Dorval FC)-24

RCM:Alexandre Imbeault ( Rouyan FC(RVFA DIVII))-21

RM: Jean-Sebastian Cousteau (PSV Marceau) – 23(Starter RV National TeamWC28 Sub WC27)

LF:Martin Fréchette (Ile Du Lac PSV(ITTL))-25

CF: Vincent Lezclair (PSV Marceau) – 22(RV National Team Sub WC28 Reserves WC27)

RF:Maxime Fréchette (Lacroix Island SV(ITTL))-23

Substitutes
GK:François Ouimet (PSV River City(RVFA DIVII))-20

DB:Philippe Roberge (PSV Marceau)-24

DB:Marc-André Sauvé (AS Prince Charles(Islands League))-20

SM:Frédéric St-Denis(Kingston FC)-23

SF:Olivier Lajeunesse (RV Celtic FC)-20

SF:Rafaël D'Orso (Twin Cities United)-21

Reserves
GK:Jean-Philip Chabot(Rouyan FC(RVFA DIVII))-23

DB:Jean-Christophe Blanchard (York FC)-25

DB:Pierre-Alexandre Vandal (Canton United)-22

RSM:Jean-François Losier (Polaris SV)-25

RSM:Peter-James Corsi (Ile Du Lac PSV(ITTL))-27

RSF:Jean-Philippe Levasseur (FC Rimouski(RVFA DIVII))-28


Marceau's BoF Schedule
MD1: BYE
MD2: Tessan
MD3: Ashterrus
MD4: Sativaville
MD5: Sovietry
MD6: Bothen
MD7: Ozzelia

and thier Kit
http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/6458/marceauinternationaljerseysnik.png

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers Y
Godmod Scoring Events Y
RP injuries to my players Y(No Killing)
Godmod injuries to my players Y
Hand out Yellow cards to my players Y
Hand out Red cards to my players Y - within reason
Godmod Other Events Y

OOC: Quick announcement, actually. Style modifiers will not be used, for various reasons, despite what my co-host said. I do apologize for the confusion, it was a communication error on my part.

OOC: Information in post has been updated... There will be no style modifiers used Thanks for all those that have put them in but they won't actually affect the scores generated. I would also like to apologise for my part in this bit of confusion.

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/AKB3.png

AwalKB National Football Club Announces New Uniforms

AWALK CITY, AwalKB -- An AwalKB National Football Club Spokesperson annouced this morning that the Sex Gods will be traveling to Legalese in brand new uniforms sporting the National Colors of Blue, Yellow, and White as well as the nation's symbol for the sword, the black cross.

The AwalKB Squad is very new to the international stage. Although many of it's star players hail from well-known club teams from inside and out of the nation. Star Midfielder and Captain Andrew Wilson was quoted with saying that he feels "confident with the teams' experience, and [that] all nerves leading up to the upcoming international events have been wiped away with these new uniforms and the rising national support."

"It's fantastic," says Wilson, "the team is finally getting some freedom and respect, much better than the beati--err rigourous training we have to go through at camp."

Clearly, expectations for the Sex Gods are very high and a poor showing could very well doom Football pride for the people of AwalKB. By Francis Longhorn

"And now we bring you the scores for the Bazalope Region of the Baptism of Fire.... brought to you by Cute Bunny Burger Corp. 'Hop to it'. We'll start with the Hockey Canadian Group...."

"Spindomia and Danskmark played to a 1 all Draw at SeaBazalope Arena in Cantinople"

"Horzel beat Krajkovia in a 1-0 affair at Drago Soccer Field"

"Mrkvejina beat United Island Empires in a 2-0 thrasing at Stadium Verona"

"Third England had a bye today."

"And now onto the Shearers Hell Group..."

"Kedalfax lost against Tecpatl at a 1-3 scoreline at Via Voleta Dome"

"Dingzanwa and The NSSR went to a nil-all draw at Trevton City Enclosed Field"

"Ulyanovia and Intyny went to a 1 all scoreline at CBBC Dome"

"Benlandngdo had a bye today"

"So let's look at the tables for the first matchday of the BoF..."

Hockey Canada Group Bazalope Region

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Mrkvejina 1 1 0 0 3 0 3 3
2 Horzel 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3
3 Spindomia 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
4 Danskmark 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
5 Third England 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
6 Krajkovia 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0
7 United Island Empires 1 0 0 1 0 3 -3 0

Shearer Hell Group Bazalope Region

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Tecpatl 1 1 0 0 3 1 2 3
2 Ulyanovia 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
3 Intyny 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
4 The NSSR 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 1
5 Dingzanwa 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 1
6 Benlandngdo 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
7 Kedalfax 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0


Next Matchday:

Danskmark vs Third England at SeaBazalope Arena
Horzel vs. Spindomia at Drago Soccer Field
Krajkovia vs. Mrkvejina at Stadium Verona

Tecpatl vs. Benlandngdo at Via Voleta Dome
Dingzanwa vs. Kedalfax at Trevton City Enclosed Field
The NSSR vs. Ulyanovia at CBBC Dome

"Thank you this has been a BazSports Baptism of Fire update, thanks to our sponsor Cute Bunny Burger Corp... 'Hop to it'"

NEWS UPDATE: UIE has been expelled from the Baptism of fire, Mrkvejina's win against UIE will be extended to 3 goals

Legalese Region
Matchday 1 Results

Somalialand Group

Aigosthena 3-1 AwalKB
Dicuban 3-2 Good Happiness
Warrior Treblah 0-0 Mahaliastan

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Aigosthena 1 1 0 0 3 1 2 3
2 Dicuban 1 1 0 0 3 2 1 3
3 Warrior Treblah 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 1
4 Mahaliastan 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 1
5 GarfieldtheFat 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
6 Good Happiness 1 0 0 1 2 3 -1 0
7 AwalKB 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0

Tonissian Group

Bothen 1-2 Tessan
Ashterrus 1-1 Sovietry
Ozzelia 2-1 Sativaville

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Tessan 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3
2 Ozzelia 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3
3 Sovietry 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
4 Ashterrus 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
5 Marceau State 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
6 Sativaville 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
7 Bothen 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0

Sex Gods Lose Control After 45

Legalese -- The Sex Gods lost big in the Legalese Region opener in a shocker at tonights opening of the pre-World Cup Baptism of Fire.

The AwalKBians took dominant control of the first half, highlighted by a marvelous goal in the 33' by Striker Jeff Sanzo after recieving a perfect cross from midfielder Andrew Wilson to take a 1-0 lead. Going into the locker room the message was clear, that the Sex Gods were here to win.

However, coming out of the locker room was a completely different story. "Our guys just didn't show up the second half, we should up the first and dominated, but coming into the 45' it just wasn't the same team," says Head Coach Frap Pachino.

In fact, it was a different team. At the half Pachino showed much confidence in his team as he substituted goal scorer Jeff Sanzo out of the game for 14-year-old Buck Blacksmith, as well as the star defender George Labal for 15-year-old Landon Fromdondo.

When questioned about his actions Pachino said, "They're young, they need the experience. Our loss has nothing to do with the fact that we removed our most vital assets from both the front line and the back line. It was a team effort, whether we had a defender on the left side shorter than 5'3" or not."

Whatever his reasoning, the weak left side was exploited by the Aigosthena team and ultimetely lead to two of the three goals finished by the team.

The third goal came off a Penalty Kick after the huge stopper Kedzie Tomario was sent off for denying and obvious goal-scoring opportunity by charing the striker in possesion of the ball at top speed near the six-yard-line.

Clearly, questionable coaching tactics, as well as inexperience on the international stage were the key factors in AwalKB's defeat on Matchday 1.

The Sex Gods take on the fresh GarfieldtheFat Claw Clan tommorow night in what many fans hope to be a better representation of AwalKB on the international level. By Francis Longhorn

SATIVAVILLE STONER
We tell you where the Doritos are!!

This is intrepid reporter Monty Python, reporting from Legalese on how the Sativaville Fritos fared today. Against Ozzelia, the Fritos lost 2-1. What do you mean they didn't lose? Of course they did. They ceased to win. They are an ex-winner. What do you mean they were pining for the fjords? There's no fjords in Legalese. Any way Ozzelia won 2-1 as both goals where scored by players who had no names or numbers...oh wait they did? Damn. As I was saying.. No you can't do the rest of the report.. it's my turn you can do it tommorrow. Yes I promise. Where was I.. The Ozzelia goals...Yes that's how you say it...now quit it or else i'll take the damn pills again...yeah you remember the pills, they make you go bye-bye. i let you out becuase i felt sorry for you and this is the thanks i get??? Ozzelia scored 2 goals one by Michele Jarnizi in the 35th minute and one by Francesco Lumi in the 67th. The lone goal scored by Sativaville.. YOU SHUT UP!!!!! That's it i'm taking the pills bye you go.....OK OK OK!!!! If you just left me finish I won't take the pills. Sativaville's lone goal was scored by Humberto Pellecchia in the 28th minute of the match. Until next time this is you intrepid Reporter Monty Python saysing good bye and thanks for the fish.

ooc: i must say good luck to everyone involved , i was in the previous Bof and am now ranked 75th i think it is, so dont give up

<a messenger enters the throne room where King John IV is sitting with a couple of his wives>

“Your Majesty wonderful news we were victorious in our first soccer match!”

<King John blinks in confusion briefly before nodding to himself> “Ah yes the sport where you kick that ball around.” <eyes narrowing> “Why do you seem so excited? Did you think we were going to lose?”

<eyes widening fearfully the messenger stammers> “No Your Majesty not at all, I was overcome with joy that’s all.”

“I see, so tell me the details.”

“Yes Your Majesty, we defeated Bothan 2-1 and…”

“Bothan what are they? And what is this 2-1 about, are you implying the Corwn prince surrendered a goal?”

“Another country your Majesty, newly independent or something and well yes a goal was scored by them against the Crown Prince.”

“HOW DARE THEY! Have war declarations been sent out yet?”

“Um no your Majesty, its been said that, everyone will have a goal scored against them. Prince Daniel tried to challenge the offender to a duel after the goal but the officials would not allow it and gave him a yellow card.”

“A what?”

“Yellow Card Your Majesty, a warning against unacceptable behavior, if he gets a second he will be forced to sit out a match.”

“How dare they who do these officials think they are handing penalties to their betters. I hope Duke Anton lodged a protest at this treatment.”

“I believe he has your Majesty but it was dismissed because ‘that’s the rules’ according to the head of officials.”

“This is an outrage I’ll not stand for this! Did anything good happen out there?”

“Yes your Majesty, we won, Sir Garrad and Sir Brian both scored for us. We lead our group at the moment because of this win.”

“Well of course we should be in first, Tessan should be seen in all its glory. Now come here and I shall inform you how to have the royal heralds break the news to my people.”

“As you wish your Majesty.”

<Later, trumpets announce the arrival of the Royal Herald to the castle walls where much of the populace waited below for the announcement>

“Let it be known that our champions have triumphed over the first of many foes of His Most Noble, Righteous and Benevolently Beloved Majesty King John IV by a score of 2-1. His Majesty’s team far outplayed their inferior opponent and it was only through a magnanimous gesture on the Crown Prince’s part that allowed the other team to score as he gallantly stepped aside to allow the other team to score and salvage some scrap of pride in not being shut out. His Majesty is most pleased by this show of chivalry from his son which shows that Tessan deserves its rightful spot atop the standings in this contest. The team now stands ready to gain further glory for King and Kingdom!”

<crowd cheers as the Herald walks away>

((OOC- obviously the royal herald is not going to be strictly accurate with any of his announcements to the populace so anything he says should be taken with a few grains of salt))

and now back to Football Special on RadiOz, Ozzelia's only English-language broadcast station, with Scoleo Lombardi and Aldo Verdi.

SL: A beautiful day for a game of football in the far-off land of Legalese, and we're here for the kick-off of Ozzelia versus Sativaville.

AV: Yes Scoleo, there's a lot of anticipation here from the Ultras Pacholupe in the stands, and let's hope the Wolves don't disappiont.

*** 28' ***

SL: Here comes Pellecchia...

AV: Name like that, he sounds Ozelan...

SL: Good run here, speculates... MESSA*! Messa for Sativaville!

*** 35' ***

SL: The Savitan defence looks sluggish again here - Girardelli making a good run into the middle...

AV: Jarnizi's in space...

SL: Perfect pass....MEEEEEESSSSSAAAAAA!

AV: Absolute peach of a finish! Not even the Starblaydis would have had an answer to that!

*** 67' ***

SL: Jarnizi here...beats the defender...shoots!

AV: Cracking save! Got his fingertips to it and pushed it away!

SL: Corner then from Sep Coloni....Headed to safety....or not! MEEEEEESSSSSAAAAAA!

AV: What a volley! Keeper couldn't do much about it - that screamed in!

SL: Lumi puts the Wolves two-nil up!

***

MESSINO FINALI:
Ozzelia 2-1 Vilasativese

*Messa: Ozelan word for "goal".

TERROR IN THE STREETS OF AWALKB

AWALK CITY, AwalKB -- All across AwalKB people have taking to the streets demanding the head of AwalKB Football Club Coach Frap Pachino. After gaining no response to their demand, the citizens of AwalKB have resorted to rioting, destroying many streets and in particular set aflame the 1.5 million dollar home of Pachino.

Due to these riots, Prime Minister Dunkn Do Nut has declared war against the rioters. "I have stated before this tournament even started that any riots will results in full-scale militar--police action," said Nut, "I will not stand for the destruction of m--the peoples property!"

Although the people are demanding Head Coach Frap Pachino dead, there has been some speculation that this may already be the case. Recent reports have concluded that Frap Pachino has gone missing from the Sex Gods camp in Legalese. This is suspected to be a AwalKB Secret Service (ASS) operation ordered by the Prime Minister himself.

"The Prime Minister has said before that any slip-ups in our international sporting events will not be tolerated, and he has been known to go to the extremes in staying true to his word," speculates Political Analyst Ricky Manuel.

For the time being, Assistant Coach Alfred Flatt has taken the reins of the Sex Gods and says that he is not worried and expects Pachino to be back in time for their next game tonight. By Francis Longhorn

Anatoly Shalimov turned his television off in disgust. Too much work had gone in to preparing for Krajkovia’s entrance into international football for the players to play like that. Horzel. Who the hell were bloody Horzel? Well they were the side that had just handed the Bears a defeat on their debut and the chairman of the FFK was not happy about it. Quite frankly there was too much riding on the team for them to play so poorly. There were seen as the answer to the Dominion’s problems. How long had it been? How long ago did that shock summons to the Imperial Palace arrive? The Tzar himself had demanded Shalimov’s presence and in a meeting had outlined his plan to unite the regions.

The problem all stems from the fact that Krajkovia is a nation divided. For centuries there has been insurrection in the nation. Ever since Nikolay, ruler of the Kingdom of Krajka, had invaded and conquered the neighbouring realms of Moldavia, Norska and Berezina to form the Dominion of Krajkovia the cracks have been visible. The situation had improved slightly upon the accession to the throne of Tzar Andrius III four years ago. The young Tzar promised to drag the Dominion kicking and screaming into the modern era and he was as good as his word. The nation’s long history of isolationism finally came to an end. With it came foreign imports and investments. The economy flourished, taxes were lowered and for a time the nation was at peace. But it was not long before the same old sectarian divides appeared once again.

But the Tzar had a plan. Sport, sport would unite his nation’s fractious peoples. Which is why he had summoned the chairman of Krajkovia’s football federation to his palace. The premise was simple. The people would unite behind a Krajkovian national side competing against other nations. All Shalimov had to do was make it happen. And he did just that. He agreed a deal with Krytenian sportswear giants JMC in regards to a supply of kit. He combed the globe for a suitable candidate to coach the national side as the delicate political situation at home effectively ruled out all domestic coaches. And he commissioned the construction of the new national stadium, a 100,000 seater arena that would hopefully one day be filled with fans from all over the Dominion.

But central to this whole concept, and something that Shalimov could do little to control, was the success of the team itself. They would need to improve. And quickly.

"And now we bring you the scores for the Bazalope region of the Baptism of Fire... Brought to you by Cute Bunny Burger Corp... 'hop to it'. We'll start in the Hockey Canadian group."

"Danskmark just edged out Third England in a 3-2 match at SeaBazalope Arena"

"Horzel was dominated by Spindomia in a 0-3 whitewash at Drago Soccer Field"

"Krajkovia failed to get over the line against Mrkvejina at a 1-2 scoreline at Stadium Verona."

"United Island Empires had a bye."

"And now onto the Shearers Hell Group."

"Tecpatl beat Benlandngdo in a 2-1 scoreline at Via Voleta Dome"

"Dingzanwa dominated Kedalfax in a 3-1 scoring match at Trevton City Enclosed Field"

"The NSSR got oover the line against Ulyanovia in a 1-0 affair at CBBC Dome"

"Intyny had a bye."

"So now lets look at the table after the 2nd matchday of the Baptism of Fire."

Hockey Canada Group Bazalope Region

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Mrkvejina 2 2 0 0 5 1 4 6
2 Spindomia 2 1 1 0 4 1 3 4
3 Danskmark 2 1 1 0 4 3 1 4
4 Horzel 2 1 0 1 1 3 -2 3
5 Third England 1 0 0 1 2 3 -1 0
6 Krajkovia 2 0 0 2 1 3 -2 0
7 United Island Empires 1 0 0 1 0 2 -2 0

Shearer Hell Group Bazalope Region

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Tecpatl 2 2 0 0 5 2 3 6
2 Dingzanwa 2 1 1 0 3 1 2 4
3 The NSSR 2 1 1 0 1 0 1 4
4 Intyny 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
5 Ulyanovia 2 0 1 1 1 2 -1 1
6 Benlandngdo 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
7 Kedalfax 2 0 0 2 2 6 -4 0


3rd Matchday:

Spindomia vs. Krajkovia at SeaBazalope Arena
United Island Empires vs. Danskmark at Drago Soccer Field
Third England vs. Horzel at Stadium Verona

Kedalfax vs. The NSSR at Via Voleta Dome
Intyny vs. Tecpatl at Trevton City Enclosed Field
Benlandngdo vs. Dingzanwa at CBBC Dome

"Thank you, this has been a BazSports Baptism of Fire update... thanks to our sponsor, Cute Bunny Burger Corp. 'Hop to it'"

NEWS UPDATE: UIE Expelled from BoF, updated table to give Mrkvejina a 3 goals, due to the decision reached jointly by the BFSA and LAFF in regards to UIE explulsion.

(Please note I put the style thing in for the actual WC thread, so I wouldn't have to change anything)

Ashterrus Football Association
Fact Sheet
The Storm

Roster (* denotes starter)

*1. Jacobus Mazarus - GK (SF Tranquilitum)
*2. Peter Marcallus - D (IK Roslustgård)
*3. Markus Solis - D (Rolondum Nova)
*4. Stellan Olofsson - D (IK Roslustgård)
*5. Paulus Crassus - D (SF Tranquilitum)
*6. Johannes Natrus - M (Levantus)
*7. Andreas Nilsson - M (Rolondum Nova)
*8. David Caulus - M (SF Gravitas)
*9. Samuel Sjöström - M (SF Tranquilitum)
*10. Jeremiah Angelus - F (SF Gravitas)
*11. Gustavus Lensis - F (IK Roslustgård)
12. Olof Larsson - GK (Östland)
13. Mikael Istrasius - D (Levantus)
14. Tomas Samuelsson - D (SF Tranquilitum)
15. Alexandrus Terrisus - D (SF Terra Sancti)
16. Wilhelm Lärbäck - M (IK Roslustgård)
17. Anders Näslund - M (Rolondum Nova)
18. Callus Yarisus - M (SF Gravitas)
19. Mikelsis Nensis - M (Montis Nimbi)
20. Torsten Perlund - F (Levantus)
21. Fredrik Samuelsson - F (Östlund)
22. Janus Elesitus - GK (Rolondum Nova)

Manager: Ibrennes Amicus
Asst. Manager: Thomas Sinopae
Trainer: Henrius Tomiorus

Style: 4-4-2, with emphasis on wing play (+1 modifier)

Kit: Home kit is dark blue with white numbers and names, gold

lettering. Away kit is white with dark blue lettering.

Pitches:

Stadia Tranquilitum - Tranquilitum, Ashterrus
Stadia Rosa - Roslustgård, Ashterrus
Östland Idrottspark - Östland, Ashterrus

If posting before me my opponents may:
Choose my goalscorers: Y
Godmod Scoring Events: Y
RP injuries to my players: Only minor ones
Godmod injuries to my players: N
Hand out Yellow cards to my players: Y
Hand out Red cards to my players: Y
Godmod Other Events: Y

Ashterrus Libertum

STORM BEGIN WORLD FOOTBALL CAMPAIGN
Johannes Kersus

LEGALESE(AP) - Today marked the opening day of the Ashterrus
international football campaign. Representatives of the ASF have
expressed their delight in winning associated status with the NS World
Football governing body, and hope to provide the rest of the world with
competitive matches and provide the citizens of Ashterrus reason to
celebrate glorious victory, with the help of Our Blessed Holy Mother.

The Storm undertook their first task today in the Baptism of Fire, a
cup tournament set up for new nations to the world of football prior to
the World Cup qualifiers themselves. Their first opponent was Sovietry,
and the first ever match led to a 1-1 draw. The Storm took play to
their opponents, showing some of the speed and skill blessed onto these
players by Our Blessed Holy Mother. A goal from captain and midfielder
Johannes Natrus in the 47th minute gave the Storm hope for a win, but
unfortunately Sovietry notched a goal with 5 minutes remaining. Hope is
for victory in the next match with Bothen.

Sleeping Epidemic hits Legalese!
12-hour nap throws off nearly entire nation

Authorities are scratching their heads at the odd events that occurred yesterday, as nearly the entire nation of Legalese fell asleep. The cause of the massive exhaustion epidemic is currently unknown, according to health officials.

As a consquence of the "sleep-in", the second day of matches for the Baptism of Fire tournament were postponed, and will be played today.

OOC: Yeah, I somehow crashed last night without even realizing it. My apologies to the teams involved. Legalese Region MD2 will be scorinated tonight. If there's any further change to the schedule, I'll let you know at that time.

Another Day, Another Loss


Krajkovia 1 - 2 Mrkvejina


Following the disappointing opening day defeat to Horzel, Krajkovia went into matchday 2 in need of a good performance. Didn’t happen. If only the Legalese sleeping epidemic had spread to Bazalonia too.

Okay, maybe that’s slightly unfair. It’s not as if the Bears played badly, far from it. They played well but found in their path a defence that steadfastly refused to buckle, stopping everything that the Bear’s attackers could fire at them.

The first half was a quiet affair as players on both sides adjusted to the pressures of only their second international match. A low drive, just wide, from Arvashin and a long ranged Baltiev effort, well saved, were the only Krajkovian efforts on goal in the half. At the other end Andreev had nothing to do as Mrkvejina didn’t register a shot.

Clearly not thrilled at his side’s performance coach Gurchev made a switch at the interval, bringing on Renet Gusev for Tursunov. The new man adding a more attacking thrust in midfield.

The second half had a much faster tempo and Petrenko forced an excellent save from the keeper shortly after the restart. But the Bears were caught out at the back when an oppostion forward burst forward and squared the ball across the area for his strike partner to side foot into the back of the net.

With 20 minutes left on the clock the coach the Bears poured forward and finally levelled the match when Arvashin‘s shot was only parried and Bairamov headed home the rebound. The joy was short lived however. Krajkovia’s players could sense the win and drove forward even more only to be caught out by a sucker punch in the 85th minute. Even then they could have snatched a share of the points when Arvhasin latched onto a Petrenko through ball and curled a right footed shot past the advancing keeper only to see it clip the post and go wide. It just wasn’t to be.

That result left the Bears second bottom in the group with a mighty zero points. A good result against Spindomia is now a must.

The Schiavone Scribe
Scandal at Baptism of Fire!

The Schiavone Scribe have uncovered a scandal at the Baptism of Fire, as the hosts have allowed a nation that has already played in World Cups in.

United Island Empires, who currently sit at the bottom of the Hockey Canada group taking place in Bazalonia, played in qualifying Group 11 at World Cup 26, picking up fifteen points and playing the likes of Bedistan, Cataduanes, The Archregimancy, Oglethorpia and Anathematic Republics.

"That's what you get for letting the vice-president of the WCC to run the thing!" fumed one fan of Krajkovia, one of U.I.E.'s scheduled opponents. "Twelve years old is no age to let somebody run a tournament on this scale."

The SFF's Harvey Alfredo commented that he would offer to host the next one, but he didn't want Schiavonia to be coming across as being "too TBF."

Sleeping Epidemic hits Legalese!
12-hour nap throws off nearly entire nation

Authorities are scratching their heads at the odd events that occurred yesterday, as nearly the entire nation of Legalese fell asleep. The cause of the massive exhaustion epidemic is currently unknown, according to health officials.

As a consquence of the "sleep-in", the second day of matches for the Baptism of Fire tournament were postponed, and will be played today.

OOC: Yeah, I somehow crashed last night without even realizing it. My apologies to the teams involved. Legalese Region MD2 will be scorinated tonight. If there's any further change to the schedule, I'll let you know at that time.


[OOC] I'm sorry but...HAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHA good cover up ;)

The Schiavone Scribe
Scandal at Baptism of Fire!

The Schiavone Scribe have uncovered a scandal at the Baptism of Fire, as the hosts have allowed a nation that has already played in World Cups in.

United Island Empires, who currently sit at the bottom of the Hockey Canada group taking place in Bazalonia, played in qualifying Group 11 at World Cup 26, picking up fifteen points and playing the likes of Bedistan, Cataduanes, The Archregimancy, Oglethorpia and Anathematic Republics.

"That's what you get for letting the vice-president of the WCC to run the thing!" fumed one fan of Krajkovia, one of U.I.E.'s scheduled opponents. "Twelve years old is no age to let somebody run a tournament on this scale."

The SFF's Harvey Alfredo commented that he would offer to host the next one, but he didn't want Schiavonia to be coming across as being "too TBF."

"United Island Empires... I knew they sounded familiar! We played them in the BoF pre-WC 26, How could we have missed it?" said James Gaines President of the BFSA and then he continued... "well that's not important now, I've got to figure out what to do." oh, and by the way hee's talking to himself. "Oh, I know, Blame Legalese. I mean they do seem to be the fall guys for now... and they'd probably be too tired to counter... perfect."

The official statement was released


UIE so called scandal; we blame Legalese


another pre-release

Due to this entire "sleep in" the nation of legalese won't be able to play the 3rd matchday until the next scheduled day so all 3rd Matchday matches will be postponed until next matchday.

Legal*yawn*ese Region
Matchday 2 Results

Somalialand Group

Dicuban 1-0 Aigosthena
AwalKB 3-0 GarfieldtheFat
Good Happiness 1-0 Warrior Treblah

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Dicuban 2 2 0 0 4 2 2 6
2 AwalKB 2 1 0 1 4 3 1 3
3 Aigosthena 2 1 0 1 3 2 1 3
4 Good Happiness 2 1 0 1 3 3 0 3
5 Mahaliastan 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 1
6 Warrior Treblah 2 0 1 1 0 1 -1 1
7 GarfieldtheFat 1 0 0 1 0 3 -3 0

Tonissian Group

Ashterrus 1-2 Bothen
Tessan 2-1 Marceau State
Sovietry 1-1 Ozzelia

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Tessan 2 2 0 0 4 2 2 6
2 Ozzelia 2 1 1 0 3 2 1 4
3 Bothen 2 1 0 1 3 3 0 3
4 Sovietry 2 0 2 0 2 2 0 2
5 Ashterrus 2 0 1 1 2 3 -1 1
6 Sativaville 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
7 Marceau State 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0


Other News from Legalese:

LAFF Addresses UIE Scandal, Removes UIE from BoF

Addressing the claims made by the Schiavone Scribe, a spokesperson for the LAFF confirmed the paper's suspicions. "We regret the error by our organizing committee in this matter", he said. "As a result, after consulting with our Bazalonian counterparts, we have decided to remove the United Island Empires from this Baptism of Fire. All opposition, including their first matchday opponent, Mrkvejina, will receive a 3-0 victory in lieu of the match."

The spokesperson also clarified the WCC Vice President's role in the issue. "While Master Comienze is a member of the BoF organizing committee, he is neither in charge, nor enabled to make any unilateral action, save those he is delegated in his capacity with the World Cup Committee."

However, it has been rumored that the Executive Committee of the LAFF will be meeting tomorrow, which was not confirmed by the spokesperson. What will be discussed is unknown, but the BoF is sure to be a topic.


Evidence found in Sleep Epidemic Investigation

In other news, a foriegn canister was found near the site of a water treatment facility in Pt. Diem. Authorities refuse to comment on the contents of the canister, or its connection to the "Sleep-In." However, an unnamed source did reveal that residue of the canister, which contained foreign markings, were being tested for its contents.

The AwalKB Times
SEX GODS DOMINATE WITH NEW LEADERSHIP

Legalese -- After the sudden "dissappearance" of Head Coach Frap Pachino after an embarrassing debut against Aigosthena, Assistant Coach Alfred Flatt assumed the role of Commander-In-Chief, and thank god he did.

In today's game against GarfieldtheFat, played after yesterdays bizzare sleep-in, Flatt stuck to his teams strongest, save Stopper Kedzie Tomario, who was sent off last match for a brutal tackle against an Aigosthena striker, and he was rewarded quite nicely.

In the 20th minute Offensive Midfielder Andrew Jalisanzo layed off a perfect give-and-go pass to Striker Jonathan Calzone who just barely skated onsides and finished with a stunning display of finess as he hooked the ball around the unsuspecting Goalkeeper, Dusty Randolph, and into the back of the net.

Approximately 2 minutes later the Sex God's recieved a scare in a huge scramble in the box resulting in an astounding 25 saves by star keeper Taylor Johnson. Said Striker Justin Long of GarfieldtheFat, "I cannot believe it, 25 shots, and 25 saves. I must've taken seven of those shots, it was as if he couldn't mess up, it was astounding."

In the 23' minute on a counter-attack after all the GarfieldtheFat defenders were caught trying to get a goal, Captain Andrew Wilson broke off from the pack for an easy 1 v 1 with Dusty Randolph to put the Sex God's second goal on the board.

The second half was highlighted by a complete domination of the pitch by the AwalKB team, it was calculated that 95% of the 45 minutes in the second half, the ball was in the Sex God's attacking half of the field.

Incredibly the AwalKB team only managed to score one goal in the second half with a bending cross from Andre Rico finished by a beautiful volley into the upper corner from Andrew Wilson.

Aside from a caution for Sex God Matthew Bowdo for wreckless play, the game was played in a respectible manner by both teams. However it was clear that AwalKB was the dominant side in this match-up.

The Sex Gods will play Mahaliastan tommorow afternoon in what many AwalKB fans hope to be the second step on a path to continued glory. By Joe Lohos, Filling in for Francis Longhorn after his seemingly random dissappearance after his article reflecting the Great Prime Minister in a negative light

UIE Expelled in Disgrace

United Island Empires a previous entrant into the World cup has been expelled from the Baptism of Fire in disgrace after an expose by the Schiavonian Scribe. Apparently the documents used where easily available and the BFSA had those records on file. Why no one considered looking them up is something that has yet to be determined.

Minister for Sport & Recreation, Ferdinand Truely, stated "I'm going to institute a coronial inquest into how the BFSA failed to notice and/or report on the fact that UIE where in the 26th world cup." Well, despite the BFSA's statement passing on blame to the LAFF. It seems the government thinks that the BFSA should have at least some responsibility and I certainly would not like to be in James Gaines position as President of the BFSA.

SATIVAVILLE STONER
We tell you where the Doritos are!!

Yo, Yo, Yo, it MC MP in da Hizzy talin with; the HC of Free-toes, Ivan Schtuldz, about how da Free-Toes can win. What up Dawg?

Schtuldz- What, Who the hell are you??? I thought I was supposed to talk with Monty Python.

MC MP- Yeah, Dat Cracker ain't here ifs you knows what i mean.

Schtuldz- Ok.. We got to cut down on our lackadaysical defense and counterattack more.

MC MP- Yeah, I see whats you sayin. How's about you break one free-style?

Schtuldz- What? I don't get what you mean.

MC MP- Never you mind then cracker boy. Up next for the Free-Toes is Tessan, What up wit' dem?

Schtuldz- They are a new team, like us and anything could happen.

MC MP-Ok, WhaaaaaaaT?

Schtuldz- You're freaking me out... this interview is over.

MC MP- A'ight Dawg, I'll sees ya later. for the Stoner this has been MC MP for that lazy ass Cracker Monty Python. Peace!

(After the interview, MC MP sees a drink of Henessey and takes a swallow.)

MC MP- That Shite was tight. I need 'nother hit of that shit. What? You Sneaky Cracker.. You know it's only a matter of time before I's out again. yeah, yeah, yeah, my 24 hours is up... see you later chump. (MC MP's body shakes for a minute or so and is replaced somehow with Monty Python's)

Monty Python- I need some stronger pills, that time i had to use 2 pills to revert back.

(ooc- Monty Python is a modern Dr. Jeckyll/Mr. Hyde, only instead of a maniac, a Lil' Jon Wannabe takes over... this should be fun)

The Official Newsletter of Marceau International Soccer

The Fleur De Lys Drop thier First International Match 2-1 to Tessan This Match was a well played one. Tessan Opened the Scoring at the 34min mark with a beatifull shot by Sir Dashon Boonermann that beat Cossile to the top right Corner. MArceau would answer after the Start of the Second half as Vincent Lezclair Found his way through the lone Midfielder and split the two defnders with that he wired a shot at the Lower left Corner and beat Crown Prince John Pierson The game would stay notted up until a corner kick by Sir Garrad Colton found the head of Sir James Kenmore and found the back of the twine as a stunned Marceau team could not believe that they let that one by. The Game would end with the the score 2-1.

"Well for the first match nit bad at all I hope thses boys pick up thier play the expierenced players who've been here before knew what to expect and played like it as well I though Cossile was outstanding and Lezclair was the best player on the pitch tonight.Our next oppenent wil be a tough one as we face Ashterrus."--Coach Alain Vignault after the match

Marceau's BoF Schedule
MD1: BYE
MD2: BYE
MD3: Tessan L 2-1
MD4: Ashterrus
MD5: Sativaville
MD6: Sovietry
MD7: Bothen
MD8: Ozzelia

Tonissian Group Scores from MD 3
Ashterrus 1-2 Bothen
Sovietry 1-1 Ozzelia

Tonissian Group Standings

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Tessan 2 2 0 0 4 2 2 6
2 Ozzelia 2 1 1 0 3 2 1 4
3 Bothen 2 1 0 1 3 3 0 3
4 Sovietry 2 0 2 0 2 2 0 2
5 Ashterrus 2 0 1 1 2 3 -1 1
6 Sativaville 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
7 Marceau State 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0

Marceau's BoF Schedule
MD1: BYE
MD2: BYE
MD3: Tessan L 2-1
MD4: Ashterrus
MD5: Sativaville
MD6: Sovietry
MD7: Bothen
MD8: Ozzelia



OOC: It's MD2... not MD3

“Your Majesty! Your Majesty!” the herald cried as he spied King John IV strolling in his private garden.

“What is it?” demanded the King a bit annoyed at being disturbed.

“A second glorious triumph your Majesty. Your team defeated the team from some place known as the ‘Marceau States’ or something like that by another 2-1 score!”

“I see. That is good but yet I see you seemed pleased that my son allowed a goal yet again. I fail to see what is good about that.”

Gulping nervously the herald replied “I was merely thrilled about the win which the noble Crown Prince led us to. We now lead our group by ourselves and remain undefeated. The goal was unfortunate, a fluke I’m sure but Sir James made sure we remained on top by getting the winning goal.”

“And the first?”

“Um that was Sir Dashon, your son Prince Jeffery selflessly allowed his personal guard the chance for glory by passing the ball to him instead of taking the shot himself.”

“And what of Sir Milton? Did he let the insult to my son’s goal keeping stand?”

“No your majesty, he protested to the officials as well and was given a yellow card for being on the field when he was not supposed to.” The messenger assured his sovereign secretly wondering if the King realized that the Crown prince fared so well in the country was because no one but the highest nobles, or his siblings he added after a moment, would dare to risk the wrath of either father or son by putting a goal past the Crown Prince. This of course led to an inflated sense of the Crown prince’s skills in both father and son alike.

“Very well then he shall avoid a flogging now this is what you shall tell the people.”

<the Royal herald comes to the balcony once more with the another announcement.>

“Hear ye! Hear ye! His Most Noble, Righteous and Benevolently Beloved Majesty King John IV wishes you to rejoice that our undefeated soccer team has triumphed once more. Sirs Dashon and James both gained glory by defeating their foes defenses and striking a blow home for king and kingdom! Crown Prince John was a stonewall in defense stopping nearly fifty shots by his foes until finally four of them, all elite champions of their land, by treacherous means snuck past his brave defenders made a joint attack. Even the Crown prince’s amazing skills proved no match for four as their combined efforts barely managed to trickle one just off the fingertips of our brave Crown Prince who even then was upset at letting so few best him, the mark of a true royal. But fear not, our undefeated ways keep us in first where His majesty assures us we will certainly finish. For king and Kingdom the glory will be ours.”

<crowd applauds wildly as several young maidens wept over the through of their beloved Crown Prince being bested once despite the victory>

Ashterrus Libertum

PHANTOM HANDBALL SPELLS DEFEAT
'Ridiculous!' exclaims manager Amicus
Johannes Kersus

LEGALESE(AP) - A questionable call capped off what has to be considered a subpar performance by the Storm tonight against Bothen in the Baptism of Fire competition.

Ashterrus opened the scoring against the run of play, surprising those in attendance. Gustavus Lensis was sent in unopposed by Andreas Nilsson, and Lensis managed to slot it past the Bothenese keeper. That was the Storm's only shot of the half, and they were indeed lucky that Our Blessed Holy Mother saw it fit to only punish their dismal performance with one goal against: a corner kick saw the Ashterran defenders confused and flatfooted, leading to an easy header past Mazarus in the Storm goal. All was level on halftime.

The second half saw much of the same play, and only the stunning performance by keeper Jacobus Mazarus saw the Storm keep the teams level. Controversy struck however, when, in the 77th minute, a suspect penalty was given to Bothen. Markus Solis was judged to have handled the ball in the box, while replays showed that it clearly hit his chest. Nevertheless the penalty was converted and it spelled defeat for the Storm. Manager Ibrennes Amicus was unavailable for comment, only exclaiming that the call was 'ridiculous!' on exiting the pitch. Next up for Ashterrus will be a difficult test from Marceau State, with the Storm still looking for their first international victory.

Njuselyttr dz Fuutbjalkov Mrkvejnia!

For those who don't understand Mrkvejnian, the following has been roughly translated by Mrkvejnias only government approved translator, Zvonimirk Jzerkov.

Glory Mrkvejnia for the Baptism of Fire! Record of perfectness continues have!

Record of perfectness scoring has been achieved by Mrkvejnia! Points total 6 of and hoping we more have to lots score! Zvonimirk Jzerkov from Baptism reporting access to Mrkvejnian team of National, excluzive!! From Zvonimirk now comes to you EXCLUZIVE!! interview!

Zvonimirk: Brvoshka Shlambovk to you coach Schvlotcic!

Coach Schvlotcic: Brvoshka Shlambovk Zvonimirk, guessing to talk about successes wanting you are?

Zvonimirk: Yes! Guess well you have! So telling me Coach Schvlotcic, how you have to got Mrkvejnian National team perfect record?

Coach Schvlotcic: Hah hah, well Zvonimirk government of Mrkvejnia very generous to players for Vlatchiks, training facilities of the great Mrkvejnian quality of the world renowned! Also Zvonimirk very luck Mrkvejnia is with talent and injuries lack of to players.

Zvonimirk: Players yes? Many players of team yet of Mrkvejnian team a well oiled Mrkvejnian quality machine they function of?

Coach Schvlotcic: Striker star Svelranj Svoltcic of team Grykstars FC form carrying from league into Baptism is yes, goalkeeper Brynrjk Skunj form of the good yes is so form carrying on yes I see Mrkvejnian National team climbing up how you say; "Ladder of football" and we prove yes that we are of the quality high!

Zvonimirk: Decided yet on team for match next?

Coach Schvlotcic: Yes! Here of it is:

GK: Brynrjk Skunj (http://www.mugs.net/~lance/images/gallery/idiot.jpg)
RB: Grjswald Votcic (http://www.decadentplace.org.uk/photos/19990731-CCDE/Dog-village-idiot.jpg)
LB: Dzervic Dzodic (http://www.thorubio.org/cms/space/mark/idiot+mark.jpg)
CB: Gyrorik dz Tjalkic (http://vision.york.ac.uk/articles/149/thesketch/images/idiot.jpeg)
CB: Alexandr Sveltcic (http://idiot.se/bilder/alexander_emelianenko_01.jpg)
RM: Dzelvic Vorst (http://www.rezal404.org/photos/galleries/rezal404/REP-vrac/l-idiot-du-village.jpg)
LM: Vasko Ljubicic (http://www.justmorons.com/images/2002/moron.jpg)
CM: Cjercic Vz Dlotkov (http://www.essex.edu/student/athletics/soccer/men/2004-2005-roster/carlos.moron.jpg)
CM: wang Dzlov Tzeksk (http://www.djloo.com/blog/uploaded_images/DSCN1163-786669.JPG)
SC: Svelranj Svoltcic (http://www.deadbodiesinc.com/photos/pigeon_attack.jpg)
SC: Vloslav (http://www.ideagrove.com/blog/uploaded_images/ChuckNorris2-793901.jpg)

Zvonimirk: Yes yes! do well we shall do. All luck best of is wished for Mrkvejnia! Zvonimirk Jzerkov out for Njuselyttr dz Fuutbjalkov Mrkvejnia!

<"Prime Minister" Dunkn Do Nut sets aside AwalKB Times and smiles at his Secret Service Chief>

"Do you dissagree with the termination of Frap Pachino now?"

"No, sir. You proved me wrong yet again, I apologize."

"No matter. These riots against our involvement in the Baptism of Fire, what have you done about them?"

"All dissenters have been silenced at your request sir."

"Make sure that Alfred Flatt gets the word that if he slips up like Pachino did, he'll end up like Pachino did."

"Yes, sir, I'll have the message delievered anonomously right away."

"Good, you are dismissed."

Legalese Region
Matchday 3 Results

Somalialand Group

Aigosthena 2-1 Good Happiness
Mahaliastan 0-1 AwalKB
GarfieldtheFat 1-1 Dicuban


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Dicuban 3 2 1 0 5 3 2 7
2 AwalKB 3 2 0 1 5 3 2 6
3 Aigosthena 3 2 0 1 5 3 2 6
4 Good Happiness 3 1 0 2 4 5 -1 3
5 Warrior Treblah 2 0 1 1 0 1 -1 1
6 Mahaliastan 2 0 1 1 0 1 -1 1
7 GarfieldtheFat 2 0 1 1 1 4 -3 1

Tonissian Group

Bothen 2-0 Sovietry
Sativaville 1-1 Tessan
Marceau State 1-1 Ashterrus

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Tessan 3 2 1 0 5 3 2 7
2 Bothen 3 2 0 1 5 3 2 6
3 Ozzelia 2 1 1 0 3 2 1 4
4 Ashterrus 3 0 2 1 3 4 -1 2
5 Sovietry 3 0 2 1 2 4 -2 2
6 Sativaville 2 0 1 1 2 3 -1 1
7 Marceau State 2 0 1 1 2 3 -1 1

The AwalKB Times
SEX GODS EDGE OUT MAHALIASTAN IN STOPPAGE TIME

Legalese -- AwalKB beat out Mahaliastan in the final minutes in what nearly everyone in the stadium presumed to be a scoreless draw.

However, in the 90th minute AwalKB Stopper Kedzie Tomario in his first game since being ejected in the Baptism of Fire opener, fired a rocket from nearly 30 yards out and over the unexpecting Mahaliastan keeper who was caught off his line.

Prior to that, the game was mainly controlled by both teams midfields, as the defenses of both seemed unbreakable. The nearest either team got was a Penalty Kick awarded in the 53rd minute to Mahaliastan, after sweeper Ninja Louis was called for handling on the outside of the penalty area.

Fortunately for the Sex Gods the Mahaliastan striker had never kicked a ball before and kicked a weak dribbler into the histerically laughing clutches of Taylor Johnson.

This pace remained the same throughout the game. Prior to Tomario's goal, both teams had a combined total of 3 shots on goal.

The Sex Gods are currently tied for Second in the Somalialand Group with Aigosthena, with six points. Both teams trail leader Dicuban who currently presides with seven points.

The Sex Gods will play tommorow night against Dicuban in competition for the top spot. Tensions in both camps will surely be heating up as both dearly wish to establish football as a very big sport within their boarders. By Joe Lohos

The Official Newsletter of Marceau International Soccer

Marceau Earns First Point in International Competition. Unfortunatly it wasn't a win but none the less a draw is still good Marceau Managed a drwa with Ashterrus 1 all. The game was decently played Let's see some of the recap. Marceau Came out with a chip on thier shoulder as they had 2 chances in the first 15 minutes the first one was by Jean-Sebastian Cousteau as he bent a shot off the crossbar suprising everyone in the stadium. the second chance was a Run by Vincent Lezclair the shot released by Lezclair was stopped by the Ashterrian Keeper Jacobus Mazarus. Ashterrus would answer this pressure with a goal at the 20th minute as Jeremiah Angelus Broke in past the Marceau Defender and Rifled a shot for the far corner it bent in right past Cossile. The game would go into the half 1-0 Ashterra. Marceau would not the score with a Shot by Martin Fréchette that found it's way through the crowd and into the back of the twine. The match would end up at 1 all.

"Well they played good at times I think this team needs that energy that we had eary in the game and Second Half.It'll be interestingf to see what takes place against Sativaville "--Coach Alain Vignault

Marceau's BoF ScheduleMD1: BYE
MD2: Tessan L 2-1
MD3: Ashterrus D 1-1(ASH-MAR-
MD4: Sativaville
MD5: Sovietry
MD6: Bothen
MD7: Ozzelia

Tonissian Group Scores from MD 3
Bothen 2-0 Sovietry
Sativaville 1-1 Tessan
Tonissian Group Standings
Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Tessan 3 2 1 0 5 3 2 7
2 Bothen 3 2 0 1 5 3 2 6
3 Ozzelia 2 1 1 0 3 2 1 4
4 Ashterrus 3 0 2 1 3 4 -1 2
5 Sovietry 3 0 2 1 2 4 -2 2
6 Sativaville 2 0 1 1 2 3 -1 1
7 Marceau State 2 0 1 1 2 3 -1 1

SATIVAVILLE STONER
We tell you where the Doritos are!!

This is Monty Python, reporting from Legalese where the Fritos have earned their 1st ever point a 1-1 draw with Tessan. Tessan opened the scoring in the 34th minute on a curving kick by Sir James Kenmore, that just deflected in off the far post giving the lead....OH YEAAAAAAAH..... to Tessan. Sativaville countered....WHAAAAAAAT?!?.. NO GODDAMN IT... MC MP you'll just have to wait a bit on that Henessey.. No i'm not drinking it.. it tastes like dog piss to me... where are those pills....WHAT! you flushed them down the toilet??? great... i'm not going to finish this report and you'll.....(MC MP suddenly takes over) YEAAAAH Bitches. I'm back in da hizzy!!!! da Free-Toes tied it up like my old ho likes it, when my man THE Humberto Pellecchia, or P-Dawg as i call him in the 60th minute on a penalty kick as that cracker Baron Gordon Kingsfoil, tripped my man up in da box. up next for the Pot-smokin', bong-tokin, Dorito eating Free-Toes is Marceau State. That just happen' to be where my boi Droop Snog is at. Yo Droop... Word to you mother....I smacked dat that nite HEEEEEE YEAAAAAAAh!! BYe Bitches

"And now onto out coverage of the Bazalope Region of the Baptism of Fire, brought to you by Cute Bunny Burger Corp, 'hop to it'. Let's start at the Hockey Canada group"

"Spindomia failed to score against Krajkovia in a 0 - 1 match at SeaBazalope Arena."

"Fauxhan United took UIE's place and they managed to beat Danskmark 2-1. however Danksmark will be awarded a 3-0 nil win in the table rankings at Drago Soccer Field."

"Third England trounced Horzel 3-1 at Stadium Verona"

"Mrkvejina had a bye."

"And now onto Shearer Hell Group..."

"Kedalfax drew The NSSR in a 1 all match at Via Voleta Dome."

"Intyny drew ahead of Tecpatl in a 2-1 match at Trevton City Enclosed Field."

"Benlandngdo drew Dingzanwa in a boring nil all match at CBBC Dome."

"Ulyanovia had a bye."

"Unfortunately we are having trouble with our graphics so we are going to have to ust give you the order of each region. In the Hockey Canada group."

"Spindomia with 7 points"
"Mrkvejina with 6 points"
"Danskmark with 4 points"
"Third England with 1 GD and 3 points"
"Krajkovia with -1 GD and 3 points"
"Horzel with -4 GD and 3 points"
"UIE HAS BEEN EXPELLED"

"And now Shearers Hell Group."

"Tecpatl with 6pts"
"Dingzanwa with 2 GD and 5 points"
"The NSSR with 1 GD and 5 points"
"Untyny with 4 points"
"Ulyanovia and Benlandngdo both with 1 Goal For, -1 GD and 1 point"
"Keldalfax with -4 GD and 1 point."

"That is all we have time for, see you next matchday."

“HOW DARE THEY!” King John thundered as his messenger groveled on the throne before him. “A DRAW!?! SOME GOOD FOR NOTHING SPECK IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE A WE WERE NOT TRIUMPHANT!?!?”

“I’m sorry your majesty, but at least we did not lose.” The messenger quivered “A 1-1 draw isn’t the worst thing possible.” He ventured

“How can you say that not achieving victory is not the worst thing possible?” the kind demanded dangerously.

“We’re still in first place Your Majesty, Sir James has gained quite a knack at this sport. He scored again for us.”

“Yes he IS the epitome of our knightly order, naturally he would excel at all sports. But I am more concerned that for the third straight match my son has allowed a goal. What excuse do you have this time?”

“It was a penalty kick Your Majesty. There were no defenders on the play. Baron Gordon tripped the other player and the officials called this shot.”

“The nerve of these so-called officials. Send word that Baron Gordon will be exiled to the bench until further notice and place Baron Davis in his place.”

“As you command Majesty. I shall inform his Grace the Duke immediately”

“Are you certain we can not invade this ‘Legalese’ place? These officials need to be set straight.”

“I’m sorry Majesty, its impossible.”

“Bah, away with you and send in the royal herald so i may inform him what to tell the populace.”

<later the Royal herald steps forth to the balcony.>

“Hear ye! Hear ye! His Most Noble, Righteous and Benevolently Beloved Majesty King John IV wishes to announce that Tessan remains undefeated against the foreign ilk after a third day of matches. Sir James the Righteous once more struck a mighty blow for king and kingdom besting the opponent once more. The Crown prince likewise played a most skilled match again keeping the foe from defeating your chosen champions. We remain in first as we have throughout this event.”

Ashterrus Libertum

STORM STILL LOOK FOR FIRST WIN
Unable to Play a Full 90 Minutes
Johannes Kersus

LEGALESE(AP) - A tough game against a spirited Marceau State side led
to further disappointment for the Ashterran National Side earlier
today. The 1-1 draw leaves the Storm still looking for their elusive
first victory of the tournament and of their international career.

Indeed, Ashterrus was lucky to not be down a goal after 15 minutes due
to 2 strong chances from Marceau State. Strong plays led to chances
from Marceau State forward Vincent Lezclair, and midfielder Jean-
Sebastian Cousteau. Only the Blessed hands of Jacobus Mazarus kept the
score level. The Storm took an undeserved lead after Jeremiah Angelus
broke free and put a well placed shot past the Marceau keeper. The
score was level at half-time, but Ashterrus was on the backfoot for the
majority of the half.

A lack of concentration led to the tying goal, as a powerful shot from
Marceau State player Martin Fréchette found its way through a crowd and
past Mazarus, who really didn't see the ball until it was too late. The
second half stuttered along with neither side really getting any
opportunities, and ended 1-1.

Prospects for Ashterran victory in matchday 4 look low, as it will take
a large effort to beat the nobility of Tessan. Should Ashterrus win, we
should look out for the armies of King John IV marching on our borders.

Legalese Region
Matchday 4 Results

Somalialand Group

Warrior Treblah 2-1 Aigosthena
AwalKB 3-0 Dicuban
Mahaliastan 1-0 GarfieldtheFat


Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 AwalKB 4 3 0 1 8 3 5 9
2 Dicuban 4 2 1 1 5 6 -1 7
3 Aigosthena 4 2 0 2 6 5 1 6
4 Warrior Treblah 3 1 1 1 2 2 0 4
-----------------------------------------------------------------
5 Mahaliastan 3 1 1 1 1 1 0 4
6 Good Happiness 3 1 0 2 4 5 -1 3
7 GarfieldtheFat 3 0 1 2 1 5 -4 1


Tonissian Group

Ozzelia 5-2 Bothen
Tessan 3-1 Ashterrus
Sativaville 3-0 Marceau State

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Tessan 4 3 1 0 8 4 4 10
2 Ozzelia 3 2 1 0 8 4 4 7
3 Bothen 4 2 0 2 7 8 -1 6
4 Sativaville 3 1 1 1 5 3 2 4
-------------------------------------------------------------------
5 Sovietry 3 0 2 1 2 4 -2 2
6 Ashterrus 4 0 2 2 4 7 -3 2
7 Marceau State 3 0 1 2 2 6 -4 1

The AwalKB Times
AWALKB TOPS SOMALIALAND GROUP IN 3-0 VICTORY

Legalese -- The Sex Gods ascended to first place in the Somalialand Group today after surely defeating Dicuban in a 3-0 upset.

The action was headed off early during the 11th minute by young Andre Rico with an astounding 80-yard shot that was carried with the huge winds circulating throughout the stadium.

"I didn't actually intend to shoot it," says Rico, " It was really suppose to be a long ball for Sanzo, but the wind just took it and went, it was rather incredible actually."

During the 50th minute AwalKB's starting Goalkeeper, Taylor Johnson, was sent off after he was shoved in the box and slammed one of the Dicuban Striker's head into the goalpost. Despite this, the Sex Gods went on to dominate the game and score two more times.

Once from a short pass from George Labal to Matt Bowdo who took a rocket of a shot from 30 yards out into the back of the net. The next off a perfect cross from Andrew Jalisanzo to fresh substitute Hitch Hiker who headed the ball cleanly into the bottom corner.

The Sex Gods will take on Warrior Treblah tommorow afternoon in what many AwalKB fans hope to be their fourth win in a row. By Joe Lohos

SATIVAVILLE STONER
We tell you where the Doritos are!!

YO.. its da M to da C to Da M to the P.. MC MP in the HOOOOUSE!!! The Free-Toes- Finally won whuppin those lame-ass Marceau State Wannabe-pimps, 3-0. And that lame ol' Cracker Monty aint nowhere's to be found as i flush his magic pills down the drain... just like my ex-bitch Shaquira did when she aborted those kids we coulda had. The Free-Toes scored early and often as my boy P-Dawg scored two goals one in da 33rd minute and another in the 42nd. Lil' V, Vicente Penas, got the other one in the 76th. (MC MP starts to shake uncontrolablly)..No.. how can dat cracker do dis? he ain't gots dem pills...(Shudders once more and Monty Python emerges again). Wha? huh? the Fritos won 3-0 and Humberto Pellecchia continues his good start with his 4th goal in 3 matches. got to go for now, before you know who takes over again i found a place here in Legalese that may help me control this.. i hope to god it works.

BazSports Correction:


"Spindomia with 7 points"
"Mrkvejina with 6 points"
"Danskmark with 4 points"

Points that had been counted towards Spindomia should have been counted towards Danskmark according to the 3-0 win awarded to Danskmark

It should have been

"Danskmark with 7 points"
"Mrkvejina with 6 points"
"Spindomia with 4 points"

The official table maintained by the BFSA was mis-read by a certain editor and the person responsible for the mix-up has has a talking to... now onto the result for the Bazalope Region of the Baptism of Fire. Hobkey Canaday Group. Brought to you by Cute Bunny Burger Corp. 'Hop to it'."

"Mrkvejina beat Spinomia, 2 against nothing at SeaBazalope Arena"

"Danskmark beat Horzel with Danskmark scoring the only goal in a 1-0 affair at Drago Soccer Field."

"Fauxhan Utd beat Third England 2 to 1, Third england despite the loss will be warded a 3-0 win at Stadium Verona.

"Krajkovia had a bye."

"And now onto Shearers Hell Group."

"Ulyanovia failed to score against Kedalfax who won at a 0-1 scoreline at Via Voleta Dome."

"Tecpatl drew Dingzanwa in a 1 all draw at Trevton City Enclosed Field"

"Intyny beat Benlandngdo in a 2-1 scoreline at CBBC Dome."

"The NSSR had a bye."


Pos Team Pts
1 Danskmark 10
2 Mrkvejina 9
3 Third England 6
4 Spindomia 4
5 Krajkovia 3
6 Horzel 3
7 UIE 0

Pos Team Pts
1 Tecpatl 7
2 Intyny 7
3 Dingzanwa 6
4 The NSSR 5
5 Kedalfax 4
6 Benlandngdo 1
7 Ulyanovia 1


Next Matchday:

United Empire Islands vs. Spindomia at SeaBazalope Arena
Danskmark vs. Mrkvejina at Drago Soccer Field
Krajkovia vs. Third England at Stadium Verona

Intyny vs. Kedalfax at Via Voleta Dome
Tecpatl vs. Ulyanovia at Trevton City Enclosed Field
The NSSR vs. Benlandngdo at CBBC Dome

OOC: I'll put my RP here later when I get a chance to make it, but I was just wondering on how big a bonus RPing provides in the score generating. I understand that part of it is random but I've RPed following every match yet it doesn't seem to be helping at all. Kind of discouraging seeing two teams who haven't posted a thing above me, and then one team who has only posted once in second place!

“Rejoice Your Majesty once more we have triumphed over our foes in this odd sport! This time your nobles scored three goals while the Crown Prince only allowed one!”

“ONLY ONE!?! Is this supposed to please me? The Crown Prince never allowed a single goal since this sport was introduced and yet he can not shut out these lowly foreigners?”
“But Your Majesty, it was just one goal and we have increased our lead, now even if we were to lose our next match we would still be in first!”

“So you wish for us to lose?” King John demanded dangerously.

“Not at all Sire!” the messenger insisted having gone pale. “I’m just saying that is how big a lead we have right now. In fact we have nearly clinched a spot in the next round even though we still have two more matches left.”

“I see. Who brought glory to me and the kingdom by defeating the efforts of the foe?”

“I am pleased to say that Prince Jeffery scored twice this match and that Sir James struck home the final one.”

“Good, my sons need to be more forceful, I’m glad to see he is seeking the glory for himself rather than sharing it with the others. Send in the Royal herald, I must discuss this with him.”

<The royal herald appears on the balcony with the latest royal announcement.>

“Hear ye! Hear ye! His Most Noble, Righteous and Benevolently Beloved Majesty King John IV is pleased to announce that Prince Jeffery struck valiantly against the foe besting them twice as our undefeated team was victorious once again. Sir James again added a goal to support the glory of the king and kingdom. Crown Prince John was invincible in goal stonewalling the foe. Then graciously he stepped aside to let Yeoman Carl play for the first time. No doubt unnerved by the situation the Yeoman surrendered a goal quickly but played adequately for a mere commoner it has been said. Advancement is within our grasp as we remain alone at the top of the standings as is only proper. All praise King John for sending forth such a mighty team!”

<crowd cheers>

The AwalKB Times
FLATT OFFICIALLY NAMED AS NEW HEAD COACH OF SEX GODS

Legalese -- Following the dissappearance of former Head Coach Frap Pachino after an embarrassing loss to Aigosthena after making rash decisions during the game, Alfred Flatt, former Assistant Coach, has been named Head Coach of the AwalKB National Squad.

"I am highly honored to have been named to this position, however deeply sorrowed by the loss of Frap," said Flatt, "I can only hope for our continued success throughout this tournament and within the World Cup."

The official declaration came in a statement today by the head of the AwalKB National Football Association, Prime Minister Dunkn Do Nut. "With the "unfortunate" loss of Pachino, I find it in the best interests of the Association and the Nation to appoint Alfred Flatt as Head Coach of the Sex Gods," stated Nut.

And the world can only agree with him. In the absence of Pachino, with Flatt in command, the AwalKB team is currently on a 3-game winning streak and topping the Somalialand Group, despite the early loss in the tournament.

With only two matches left in Group play against Warrior Treblah and Good Happiness, AwalKB is in a prominent position to advance to the Quarterfinals in the Legalese Region. By Joe Lohos

Legalese Region
Matchday 5 Results

Somalialand Group

Mahaliastan 3-0 Aigosthena
AwalKB 3-0 Warrior Treblah
Good Happiness 2-2 GarfieldtheFat

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 AwalKB 5 4 0 1 11 3 8 12
2 Mahaliastan 4 2 1 1 4 1 3 7
3 Dicuban 4 2 1 1 5 6 -1 7
4 Aigosthena 5 2 0 3 6 8 -2 6
---------------------------------------------------------------
5 Good Happiness 4 1 1 2 6 7 -1 4
6 Warrior Treblah 4 1 1 2 2 5 -3 4
7 GarfieldtheFat 4 0 2 2 3 7 -4 2

AwalKB has secured a spot in the regional quarterfinals. No team is out of contention for one of the 3 remaining spots in this group.

Tonissian Group

Sativaville 4-0 Bothen
Tessan 1-1 Ozzelia
Sovietry 0-5 Marceau State

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Tessan 5 3 2 0 9 5 4 11
2 Ozzelia 4 2 2 0 9 5 4 8
3 Sativaville 4 2 1 1 9 3 6 7
4 Bothen 5 2 0 3 7 12 -5 6
----------------------------------------------------------------
5 Marceau State 4 1 1 2 7 6 1 4
6 Ashterrus 4 0 2 2 4 7 -3 2
7 Sovietry 4 0 2 2 2 9 -7 2

Tessan has clinched a spot in the regional quarterfinals. No team has been mathematically eliminated from contention for the 3 remaining spots.

(We join Monty Python in a doctor's office somewhere in Legalese)

MP- So doc, its there anything you can do for me and my...um....problem?

DOC- Well, we've tried hypnotherapy, medication, past-life regression, future-life progression, enemas, electroshock, hydroshock, hydro torture, and hitting you with a wet noodle. And they all failed.

MP- DAMN IT... glad my insurance is paying for this.... What about hypno-transference?

DOC- Hypno-Transference? Hmmmm... it hasn't been offically declared fit for human use, but there's no other option at this point. Gimme a few days to find a suiable host for your problem and come see me then.


(Back at Work.....MC MP has once again taken over)

YEAAAA BIznitches. MC MP is here to drop the four-one-one on the match today! Against 'dose player-haters from Bothen, we whupped dey' Ass 4-0. My man, P-Dawg scored two times, in da 23rd and 37th minutes. But a Bothen Player-hater in da 40th minute kicked him in da Nuts and P-Dawg (Humberto Pellecchia) had to be subbed with Dewayne Virginia. Dirty D, tehn proceded to score on the penalty in the 44th minute givin' da Free-Toes a huge 3-nuthin' lead at half. Miles Wecker, the goal sneaker, scored the last goal in the 78th minute to finish off dem Bothen haters. P-Dawg is cool and will paly tommorrow against the White Trash Commies of Sovietry. So far after 4 games, we's in 3rd place and in a good spot to advance wit' a win against dem Commie bastards. Ai'ght? Peace Out ya'll.

Ashterrus Libertum

DO OR DIE TIME FOR ASHTERRUS
Need full points to qualify
Johannes Kersus

LEGALESE(AP) - A string of disappointing efforts from the Storm has left the team headed by Ibrennes Amicus in great danger of not qualifying for the quarterfinals.

The Storm had a bye in the latest matchday 5, following a disappointing 3-1 defeat to Tessan. A victory by Sativaville has left qualifying hopes slim, as the Storm will need to take full points from the next matches and hope that Bothen does not gain anymore, which is the simplest scenario facing the Storm in order to qualify. Unfortunately, those next two matches are against a strong Ozzelia tomorrow, and a surging Sativaville on the final matchday, teams that will likely be looking to go into the next round with momentum and therefore will not be easy opponents. The national side must also hope that Marceau State falter as well, leaving many to believe that the side will not qualify.

"Obviously, we believe that we can win the next two matches," team captain Johannes Natrus told reporters. "We've been undone by some sloppy moments and a bit of bad luck, but we are confident in winning. The only things we cannot control are the results of our competitors, and we can only pray to Our Blessed Holy Mother that we will come out victorious."

Should the side not qualify, manager Amicus would like to see his side put in a bit more of an effort. "The possibility of not qualifying for the quarter-finals is there, sure," he said. "But we would still like to finish strong, if only to give us some confidence going into World Cup qualifying. Our hopes are realistic for that, but we would like to make some sort of impact."

Here's hoping Ashterrus can pull it off.

"And now we look at the Baptism of Fire results from the Bazalope region. Brought to you by Cute Bunny Burger Corp.. 'hop to it'. Let's start with the Hockey Canada group.

"Fauxhan Utd failed to score against Spindomia in a 0-1 match at SeaBazalope Arena. A 3-nil win was awarded Spindomia for their troubles."

"Danskmark failed against Mrkvejina in a 0-1 match at Drago Socer Field."

"Krajkovia beat Third England 2 against nil at Stadium Verona"

"Horzel had a bye."

"And now onto the Shearers Hell Group.

"Intyny went scoreless against Kedalfax in a 2 nil match at Via Voleta Dome"

"Tecpatl lost against Ulyanovia in a 0-1 scoreline at Trevton City Enclosed Field"

"The NSSR failed to score against Benlandngdo which ended in a 0-1 at CBBC Dome."

"Dingzanwa had a bye."

"Let's have a look at the tables..."


Hockey Canada Group Bazalope Region

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Mrkvejina 4 4 0 0 8 1 7 12
2 Danskmark 5 3 1 1 8 4 4 10
3 Spindomia 5 2 1 2 7 4 3 7
4 Third England 4 2 0 2 8 4 4 6
5 Krajkovia 4 2 0 2 4 3 1 6
6 Horzel 4 1 0 3 2 7 -5 3
7 United Island Empires 4 0 0 4 0 12 -12 0

Shearer Hell Group Bazalope Region

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Tecpatl 5 2 1 2 7 6 1 7
2 Intyny 4 2 1 1 5 5 0 7
3 Kedalfax 5 2 1 2 6 7 -1 7
4 Dingzanwa 4 1 3 0 4 2 2 6
5 The NSSR 4 1 2 1 2 2 0 5
6 Benlandngdo 4 1 1 2 3 4 -1 4
7 Ulyanovia 4 1 1 2 2 3 -1 4


Next Matchday:

Krajkovia vs. United Island Empires at SeaBazalope Arena
Horzel vs. Mrkvejina at Drago Soccer Field
Spindomia vs. Third England at Stadium Verona

The NSSR vs. Intyny at Via Voleta Dome
Dingzanwa vs. Ulyanovia at Trevton City Enclosed Field
Kedalfax vs. Benlandngdo at CBBC Dome

“Your Majesty! Your Majesty! I’ve just received word that your team has qualified for the next stage of the tournament after their last performance!”

“Ah another glorious victory over our foes excellent news.”

“Um..”

“Yes?” the King asked his eyes narrowing impaling the messenger with his gaze.

“It was another draw your Majesty 1-1 against the team closest to us. We still lead with one more match to play though they have two yet. But at worst we will be no lower than third no matter what.”

“THIRD?!? How dare these teams think they can surpass my noblemen. I expect a list of assassination targets if this is the case.”

“Yes your majesty. Oh and Baron Kyle was given a red card. He will not play in the next match.”

“What?!? How did this happen?”

“It seems the Baron took offense that the other team dared to score first. He told the official that the goal should not count because he was busy scanning the crowd for a suitable female companion for the evening when the other player ran by him. The official disagreed so he punched him.”

“The Baron is a fool, send word he is exiled to the bench until I say otherwise, making ME look poorly. He’s lucky I let him keep his head. Let Squire James take his place…no even better let the commoner take his place. Perhaps being sat in favor of an insignificant commoner will teach the Baron his duty.”

“As you wish Majesty. Shall I summon the Royal herald?”

“Yes do so.”

<The Royal Herald appears on the balcony somewhat later.>

“Hear ye! Hear ye! His Most Noble, Righteous and Benevolently Beloved Majesty King John IV proudly announces that our still undefeated team has clinched a spot in the next round rendering any remaining games useless to us. To show his just and wise nature he has decreed that the commoner Goodman Frederick be placed in the starting lineup to prove that even a common Tessan can best what these other foes have to offer. For king and kingdom shall we continue on unbeaten quest to conquer all who have netered this tournament.”

<crowd cheers>

Njuselyttr dz Fuutbjalkov Mrkvejnia!

For those who don't understand Mrkvejnian, the following has been roughly translated by Mrkvejnias only government approved translator, Zvonimirk Jzerkov.

Great we are! Proud team Natzional dz MRKVEJNIA!!

Zvonimirk Jzerkov reporting for Njuselyttr dz Fuutbjalkov Mrkvejnia! after National team Mrkvejnia impressive vicory yet again has achieved! Score of 1-0 National Mrkvejnian heros have made for Zvonimirk and Mrkvejnian population!
Reporting LIVE! at Baptism Zvonimirk yes, EXCLUSIV report of match I have to found bringing to you Mrkvejnians pride of National team Mrkvejnia! After 1-0 impressive VICTORY! over National team Danskmark striker Svelranj Svoltcic (http://www.deadbodiesinc.com/photos/pigeon_attack.jpg) has hero status achieved as National team Mrkvejnia! almost certain to next stage advance! Vlatchiks and many many young women for National team Mrkvejnia awaits should further in competition we go, Zvonimirk hardly can his excitement containing! Coach excited is? Zvonimirk has yes another Exclusiv! interview!

Zvonimirk: Brvoshka Shlambovk Coach Schvlotcic, sun God shining brightly on Mrkvejnia is yes?

Coach Schvlotcic: Brvoshka Shlambovk Zvonimirk, many thanks for greatness of praise, yet owing much to am I of Brynrjk Skunj, (http://www.mugs.net/~lance/images/gallery/idiot.jpg) who many saves has made keeping Mrkvejnia with strength of a thousand Peasants!

Zvonimirk: Many Peasants rejoycing in forests will be yes, also many in Gryk from where is Svelranj Svoltcic. (http://www.deadbodiesinc.com/photos/pigeon_attack.jpg) Have you weapon of secretness or well oiled machines generally Mrkvejnian team are?

Coach Schvlotcic: Hah hah, well Zvonimirk weapon of fright yes we have! Vloslav (http://www.ideagrove.com/blog/uploaded_images/ChuckNorris2-793901.jpg) rumoured when to do press up, not himself to push up but world to push down he does. Fright installing into opposition yes! Proud I am of National team Mrkvejnia!!

Zvonimirk: Good good! Yes yes! Words have you next for match?

Coach Schvlotcic: Zvonimirk yes. Although perfect we yes so far are being, even most fertile donkey sometimes impotence may show, nothing take for granted we do here at training camp for NATIONAL TJJEEM MRKVEJNIA!!11!!1

Zvonimirk: Wise words of yes, untill next time our meetings cross, Zvonimirk Jzerkov for Njuselyttr dz Fuutbjalkov Mrkvejnia! reporting!

The AwalKB Times
SEX GODS CONTINUE WIN STREAK TO SECURE SPOT IN QUARTERFINALS

Legalese -- Last night, the AwalKB National team swiftly defeated Warrior Treblah in a 3-0 victory, making them the first team in the Somalialand Group to secure a sport in the Legalese quarterfinals.

The Sex Gods came out on fire, as Andrew Wilson took the ball up the line in the first minute and centered the ball to the idly waiting Jeff Sanzo who headed the ball perfectly into the upper corner for the fasted goal in AwalKB history in the 15th second.

The AwalKB defense held up very well throughout the game allowing a total of 3 shots, one of which was on goal. However, defender Alfred Sheer was given a caution after making a wreckless tackle in the 25th minute.

In the 64th minute AwalKB defender Kedzie Tomario layed off a pass down the line to Andre Rico who fired a 30 yard shot to secure the second goal of the game. In the 86th minute Jeff Sanzo got his second goal after a misplayed ball by a Warrior Treblah defender landed at his feet on the 6-yard line.

The Sex Gods will get their first break since the tournament began today and will take on Good Happiness for their final game of the group stage. By Joe Lohos

Legalese Region
Matchday 6 Results

Somalialand Group

Aigosthena 1-0 GarfieldtheFat
Dicuban 2-3 Warrior Treblah
Good Happiness 0-7 Mahaliastan

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 AwalKB 5 4 0 1 11 3 8 12
2 Mahaliastan 5 3 1 1 11 1 10 10
3 Aigosthena 6 3 0 3 7 8 -1 9
4 Dicuban 5 2 1 2 7 9 -2 7
-----------------------------------------------------------------
5 Warrior Treblah 5 2 1 2 5 7 -2 7
6 Good Happiness 5 1 1 3 6 14 -8 4
7 GarfieldtheFat 5 0 2 3 3 8 -5 2

AwalKB and Mahaliastan have secured spots in the regional quarterfinals. The group's remaining two spots are up for grabs between Aigosthena, Dicuban, Warrior Treblah, and Good Happiness.

Tonissian Group

Bothen 0-5 Marceau State
Ashterrus 0-1 Ozzelia
Sovietry 1-3 Sativaville

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Ozzelia 5 3 2 0 10 5 5 11
2 Tessan 5 3 2 0 9 5 4 11
3 Sativaville 5 3 1 1 12 4 8 10
4 Marceau State 5 2 1 2 12 6 6 7
----------------------------------------------------------------
5 Bothen 6 2 0 4 7 17 -10 6
6 Ashterrus 5 0 2 3 4 8 -4 2
7 Sovietry 5 0 2 3 3 12 -9 2

All four spots in the regional quarterfinals from this group have been secured. The last match will determine position.

"And now onto the Baptism of Fire Bazalope region results, Brought to you by Cute Bunny Burger Corp. 'Hop to it'. We'll start with the Hockey Canada Group."

"Krajkovia absoltely demolished Fauxhan Utd dominating the entire match with a 5-0 win. A 3-0 win will be awarded to Krajkovia against United Island Empires at SeaBazalope Arena."

"Horzel fell to Mrkvejina in a 2-5 scoreline at Drago Soccer Field"

"Spindomia fell Third England in a 0-2 scoreline at Stadium Verona."

"Danskmark had a bye"

"And now onto the Shearers Hell Group."

"The NSSR dominated Intyny with a 3-0 scoreline at Via Voleta Dome."

"Dingzanwa drew Ulyanovia in a 1 all match at Trevton City Enclosed Field."

"Kedalfax drew ahead of Benlandngdo in a 2-1 match at CBBC Dome."

"Tecpatl had a bye."


Hockey Canada Group Bazalope Region

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Mrkvejina 5 5 0 0 13 3 10 15
2 Danskmark 5 3 1 1 8 4 4 10
3 Third England 5 3 0 2 10 4 6 9
4 Krajkovia 5 3 0 2 7 3 4 9
5 Spindomia 6 2 1 3 7 6 1 7
6 Horzel 5 1 0 4 4 12 -8 3
7 United Island Empires 5 0 0 5 0 17 -15 0

Shearer Hell Group Bazalope Region

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Kedalfax 6 3 1 2 8 8 0 10
2 The NSSR 5 2 2 1 5 2 3 8
3 Dingzanwa 5 1 4 0 5 3 2 7
4 Tecpatl 5 2 1 2 7 6 1 7
5 Intyny 5 2 1 2 5 8 -3 7
6 Ulyanovia 5 1 2 2 3 4 -1 5
7 Benlandngdo 5 1 1 3 4 6 -2 4


Next Matchday:

United Island Empires vs. Horzel at SeaBazalope Arena
Danskmark vs. Krajkovia at Drago Soccer Field
Mrkvejina vs. Third England at Stadium Verona

Intyny vs. Dingzanwa at Via Voleta Dome
Tecpatl vs. The NSSR at Trevton City Enclosed Field
Ulyanovia vs. Benlandngdo at CBBC Dome

(we now join our intrepid report already in progress during his hypno-transference session with Dr. @#$%^ (name edited due to legal reasons)

DOC- I can't believe it. It's working!!! The transference seems to be working.. but I must warn you that not all of your problem will disappear from you and the your problem may recieve some of your memories.

Monty Python- I don't care i just don't want him in me anymore.

(a few minutes later)

DOC- Done!! a complete success. the new body for your problem is still under sedation. what would you like me to do with him?

Monty- i don't care just get rid of it far away from me. i don't wanna see it ever again.

(2 days later at the Sativaville Stoner studio..)

Hello once again, this is Monty Python, reporting live from Legalese where the Fritos have clinched a Quarterfinal spot today with an exciting 3-1 come from behind win over Sovietry. Sovietry scored first in the 43rd minute and lead at half 1-0. the Fritos looked beaten until a goal in the 78th minute by Vicente Penasheading a corner kick right past the keeper from Sovietry. That goal seemed to spark the Fritos as only 5 minutes later Teddy Mintey scored his 1st goal on a 24 yd blast. The scoring didn't end there as in the 2nd minute of a 4 minute stoppage time, Humberto Pellecchia kept his scoring streak alive with his 7th goal in 5 matches. What NOOOOO IT CANT BE YOU!!! I TOLD THE DOCTOR TO GET RID OF YOU AND>>>>> (transmission ends)
(ooc: yeah i kinda stole how the Aussies came back and beat Japan... I'm just bummed that the USA got KILLED 0-3 by Czech Rep. now we have to beat Italy..FU__ [fillin the blanks...lol])

"Enter messenger" King John commanded, "Tell me of our latest triumph on the field of battle."

"Um, there was no win your Majesty." seeing his monarch's eyes narrowing dangerous he quickly added "But that's because we had the day off."

"I see, but we are still in first as we have been throughout correct?"

"Not quite majesty, we're tied for the most points but the other team has a better goal differential than us so they are technically in front."

"What an outrage! Gather the troops and prepare for battle to smite this ursurpers of our spot once and for all!"

"Well we don;t really know where their country is so i don;t think your knights will be able to reach them."

"Bah cowards hiding their country from our righteous wrath. No matter then we shall avenge this slight our next match or else..."

"Yes Majesty."

Legalese Region
Matchday 7 Results

Somalialand Group

AwalKB 2-2 Good Happiness
Mahaliastan 1-0 Dicuban
Warrior Treblah 0-4 GarfieldtheFat

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Mahaliastan 6 4 1 1 12 1 11 13
2 AwalKB 6 4 1 1 13 5 8 13
3 Aigosthena 6 3 0 3 7 8 -1 9
4 Dicuban 6 2 1 3 7 10 -3 7
-----------------------------------------------------------
5 Warrior Treblah 6 2 1 3 5 11 -6 7
6 GarfieldtheFat 6 1 2 3 7 8 -1 5
7 Good Happiness 6 1 2 3 8 16 -8 5



Tonissian Group

Tessan 3-0 Sovietry
Sativaville 2-0 Ashterrus
Ozzelia 0-1 Marceau State

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Tessan 6 4 2 0 12 5 7 14
2 Sativaville 6 4 1 1 14 4 10 13
3 Ozzelia 6 3 2 1 10 6 4 11
4 Marceau State 6 3 1 2 13 6 7 10
-----------------------------------------------------------
5 Bothen 6 2 0 4 7 17 -10 6
6 Ashterrus 6 0 2 4 4 10 -6 2
7 Sovietry 6 0 2 4 3 15 -12 2


Legalese Regional Quarterfinal Matchups:

Mahaliastan v. Marceau State
Sativaville v. Aigosthena

Tessan v. Dicuban
AwalKB v. Ozzelia

The winners of the matches grouped together will meet each other in the regional semifinal round.

"And now onto the Baptism of Fire Bazalope region results, Brought to you by Cute Bunny Burger Corp. 'Hop to it'. We'll start with the Hockey Canada Group."

"Fauxhan Utd fell to Horzel in a 0-2 win at SeaBazalope Arena, a 3-0 win was awarded to Horzel. Despite this they failed to make it to the regional quarter finals."

"Danskmark lost against Krajkovia in a 0-2 scoreline at Drago Soccer Field. Both teams have made it to the Quarter finals."

"Mrkvejina trounced Third England in a 4-1 match at Stadium Verona, both teams make it to the quarter finals."

"Spindomia had a bye and fails to make it to the Quarter Finals"

"And now onto the Shearers Hell Group"

"Intyny lost to Dingzanwa by one goal in a 0-1 scoreline at Via Voleta Dome. Dingzanwa makes it to the Quarter Finals Intyny does not."

"Tecpatl dominated The NSSR in a 3-0 trouncing at Trevton City Enclosed Field, both teams make it to the Quarter Finals"

"Ulyanovia lost to Benlandngdo in a nail biting finish, neither team made it to the Quarter Finals."

"Kedalfax had a bye today but despite this still managed to get into the Quarter Finals...."

"And now onto the tables..."


Hockey Canada Group Bazalope Region

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Mrkvejina 6 6 0 0 17 4 13 18
2 Krajkovia 6 4 0 2 9 3 6 12
3 Danskmark 6 3 1 2 8 6 2 10
4 Third England 6 3 0 3 11 8 3 9
------------------------------------------------------------------
5 Spindomia 6 2 1 3 7 6 1 7
6 Horzel 6 2 0 4 7 12 -5 6
7 United Island Empires 6 0 0 6 0 18 -18 0

Shearer Hell Group Bazalope Region

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Tecpatl 6 3 1 2 10 6 4 10
2 Dingzanwa 6 2 4 0 6 3 3 10
3 Kedalfax 6 3 1 2 8 8 0 10
4 The NSSR 6 2 2 2 5 5 0 8
------------------------------------------------------------------
5 Benlandngdo 6 2 1 3 5 6 -1 7
6 Intyny 6 2 1 3 5 9 -4 7
7 Ulyanovia 6 1 2 3 3 5 -2 5


Baptism of Fire, Bazalope Regional Quarter Finals:

Mrkvejina vs. The NSSR at SeaBazalope Arena
Dingzanwa vs. Danskmark at Drago Soccer Field
Tecpatl vs. Third England at CBBC Dome
Krajkovia vs. Kedalfax at TeleBaz Stadium

The AwalKB Times
AWALKB TO PLAY OZZELIA IN QUARTERFINALS

Legalese -- After tonights 2-2 draw with Good Happiness, AwalKB secured second place in the Somalialand Group, but only by Goal Differential, due to Mahaliastan's 7-0 victory over Good Happiness yesterday.

Tonights draw was highlighted by solo goals from AwalKB strikers, Jeff Sanzo and Jon Calzone in the 39th and 55th minute respectively. However, the Sex Gods hopes of a five game winning streak were dashed as the Good Happiness team rallied and scored in the 73rd minute and then again in the 82nd.

With this seeding the Sex Gods are set to play the tough team from Ozzelia tommorow afternoon in the Quarterfinals of the Legalese Region. Sex Gods' fans around the nation of AwalKB bite their fingernails in anticipation of their first match ever in an elimination round.

With this newfound success many have questioned whether the AwalKB team is ready for such pressure as in the next stages. "Sure, we played very well in the past 5 games, but do you remember our opener? We lost 3-0! And I wouldn't doubt that nerves had something to do with that," say's skeptisist Michael Andrews in hiding from the government at some 40 Parkway, AwalK City, AwalKB.

The Sex Gods are likely to come out with their usual strong line-up with no injuries or ejections to worry about. "I'm very confident for this next game, as our team's health is at an all-time high and, believe it or not, we don't have to have any of our key players sitting out the next match," announces Head Coach Alfred Flatt.

This next game will be yet another pivitol performance for the Sex Gods, should they win, it would seem likely to be a run to the finals for the AwalKB side, however should they lose, it is likely that the support of the team nationally in the upcoming World Cup will diminish. By Joe Lohos

(continuation of the last post..somewhat)

Monty: What are you going to do with me???

MC MP: Bitch, I'm gonna kill you.

Monty: For the 4th time.. i just asked the doctor to send you to country far away from me. You shouldn't even exist!!!

MC MP: Bullshit.... no one forced you to re-create the Hyde formula and no one held a gun to your head and made you drink it.

Monty: I just thought the whole story was fiction not real.

MC MP: (after taking in a breath).. It's very very real now don't you think? Now that somehow you separated us permanently, I guess i ought to tahnk you.

Monty: Thank me... for what?

MC MP: the drawback to the formula is that eventually the drinker would go insane and kill himself, there-by killing the "Hyde' part as well. But thanks to you, I can live my life of debauchery and i don't have to worry about you killing "us". For that... I'm going to let you live... but if you try to come after me...all bets are off. (Turns around and leaves the room).

SATIVAVILLE STONER
"We tell you where the Doritos are!!

Monty: Thank you Joe. I apologize for what happend yesterday. I had a nervous breakdown after being stuck in Legalese for the last 2 weeks. In BoF action, the Fritos won 3-0 over Ashterrus. Clinching 2nd palce in the group, just behind the Nobles of Tessan. Goals were scored by the following: Humberto Pellecchia(8th) 20th minute, Teddy Mintey (2nd) 56th minute and Stellan Olofsson of Ashterrus (Own Goal) 77th. Up next for the Fritos are the 3rd palce team from the Somalialand Group, Aigosthena. Sativaville is favored to win as they scored 14 goals in 6 games and only gave up 4 for a +10 goal differential, whereas Aigosthena has scored 7 times in 6 matches and has a -1 GD.
Over including the Bazalope Region, Sativaville has the 2nd best offence behind only Mrkvejina and is tied for the 4th best defense. A strong run into the Regional finals is expected.

http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/6891/slammrw29c8wd.gif
Marceau's Official Newsletter of International Soccer

Marceau is on to the Quarterfinals where they will face Mahaliastan . This is going to be a great Match Marceau is on a roll of sorts lately and is really starting to look like the team that we thought they could be. Mahaliastan Finished first in the Somalialand Group with a record of 4-1-1 and coring 12goals while allowing a mere 1goal against. This will be the toughest challenge for Marceau is to get a goal on that staunch defense but Marceau's Offensive attack of the Fréchette Brothers a suprising Duo from the ITTL centered by Lezcliar a sub on Rorysville's Last Cup squad this Trio has scored all but 1 goal for Marceau.Maxime Fréchette Notched 4 goals against Bothen. Mean while his Brother Martin has quietly scored in the last 3 games including a Hat trick against Sovietry on Matchday 5. Martin Now has 5 goals while Maxime has 5 and Lezclair has notched a pair in his campaign the only goal, not scored by the Forwards was in todays game it was wired into the net by Jean-Sebastian Cousteau who managed to find his way onto the scoreboard. the Veteran Leadership of the 5 Rorysville Team Players is really what is solidifing this group of Players and turning them into a Great team. The game against Ozzelia Meant very little to marceau and they played with that relaxed attitude and it seemed to create a great oppertunity and they won the match 1-0.
"Well as for our Quarterfinals oppenent they have a sound defense I will be spending alot of time watching tape to see what I can expolit in it. Soemone asked me If I was worried about their Offense And I have this to say they have a great offense but so do we they only scored one more goal than us in the Group stage so the biggest diffenerce in our teams is thier defense.I really think the core of five has alot to do with our success and for the first International Tournament I think this will go for a long way with this team especially in our run for the World Cup.The Fréchette Brothers are amazing and to think we were critized for selecting a pair of players from the Island Territory Territorial League. Well if there are more like them in that League I will be scoring the Islands for them....come to think of it sounds like a great excuse for a vacation eh!.....nah forst things first the Quarterfinals then the World cup after this Tournement."--Coach Vignault


Marceaus BoF Schedule(marceau Goal Scorers)
MD1: BYE
MD2: Tessan L 2-1(Lezclair)
MD3: Ashterrus D 1-1(Mrt.Fréchette)
MD4: Sativaville L 3-0(NG)
MD5: Sovietry W 5-0 (Mrt.Fréchette(3),Lezclair,Mx.Fréchette)
MD6: Bothen W 5-0 (Mrt.Fréchette,Mx.Fréchette(4))
MD7: Ozzelia W 1-0 (Cousteau)
QF: Mahaliastan

Marceau Goal Scoring Leaders
1-Martin Fréchette - 5
2-Maxime Fréchette - 5
3-Vincent Lezclair -2
4-J.S. Cousteau - 1

Final Group Standings
Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Tessan 6 4 2 0 12 5 7 14
2 Sativaville 6 4 1 1 14 4 10 13
3 Ozzelia 6 3 2 1 10 6 4 11
4 Marceau State 6 3 1 2 13 6 7 10 -----------------------------------------------------------
5 Bothen 6 2 0 4 7 17 -10 6
6 Ashterrus 6 0 2 4 4 10 -6 2
7 Sovietry 6 0 2 4 3 15 -12 2

Scores from Tonissian Group Matchday 7
Tessan 3-0 Sovietry
Sativaville 2-0 Ashterrus

Baptism of Fire Quarterfinal Matches
Legalese Regional Quarterfinal Matchups:
Mahaliastan v. Marceau State
Sativaville v. Aigosthena

Tessan v. Dicuban
AwalKB v. Ozzelia

Bazalope Regional

Mrkvejina vs. The NSSR
Dingzanwa vs. Danskmark

Tecpatl vs. Third England
Krajkovia vs. Kedalfax

for all Fans attending the Quarterfinal Match,Marceau is asking you to wear Fluer De Lys Blue as we are going for the Blueout effect with the Marceau Fans. Be sure to so up early and Cheer the boys on with pride.

“Your Majesty a tremendous triumph! Your son the Crown prince recorded his first shutout of this tournament and because of it Tessan has finished its run in its rightful place at the top of the standings where we shall face some lesser squad from one of the other groups.”

“I knew my son would prevail against the blatant favoritism the commoner officials showed the rest of their ilk.”

“Speaking of which Your Majesty. The commoner actually did well today?”

“Commoner what commoner?” King John demanded.

“Remember Sire, Goodman Frederick Lee, the one you ordered to play to teach Baron Kyle a lesson about his temper?” the herald helpfully supplied.

“Ah yes what of him?”

“He scored a goal for us Your Majesty to give us the lead. Later Sir James and Sir Garrad both scored to allow us to win 3-0.”

“A commoner scoring? Bah these foreigners must be easy prey if our common folk can do well against them. Let the commoner play again, if he continues to do well perhaps we will find some token title for him as a reward to show my people how generously I reward those who do well for me and the kingdom.”

“As you command Sire, shall I send for the royal herald?”

“Yes of course, remain here and I shall instruct him as always to his duty.”

<the Royal Herald steps up to the balcony some time later and declares>

“Hear ye! Hear ye! His Most Noble, Righteous and Benevolently Beloved Majesty King John IV is pleased to inform you that the Crown Prince today rendered our nation’s foes unable to defeat his amazing skills as Tessan finished its first round of play at the top of the standings as is fit for such a great nation. The King wishes to acknowledge Sirs James and Garrad as well as the commoner Goodman Lee, all struck a blow against our foes today proving that even the least in Tessan is better than the best of these other lands. Next we begin our official run for the championship which for king and kingdom shall belong to Tessan!”

<crowd cheers>

<In his private study Prime Minister Dunkn Do Nut places the latest article of the AwalKB Times down on his desk and calls for his Secretary of Foreign Affairs to come.>

"Yes, sir?"

"I heard you attended the lasted AwalKB Football game?"

"Yes, sir. I did..."

"What are your opinions on how the team played?"

"I thought they did alright, not as well as they could've but-"

"What do you me not as well as they could have?"

"I mean, well, they just seemed kind of lazy and comfortable, not attacking, midfielders lazy coming back on defense."

"Then make sure it doesn't happen again. Call Flatt personally and tell him that if this EVER happens again he'll have signed himself a seat next to Pachino."

"Yes, sir. Is there anything else?"

"Yes, this," <Nut picks up AwalKB Times> "Michael Andrews, have him taken care of for conspiracy against AwalKB. He is most likely at, 40 Parkway, AwalK City, AwalKB."

"Yes, sir."

"And make sure that this editor," <Nut motions toward the Sex Gods Article> "is rewarded quite nicely for his fine work and support of AwalKB."

"As you wish, sir."

"Away with you!"

<The secretary bows and exits the room, wondering why he's helping such an evil man, but then looks down at his diamond encrusted watch and suddenly remembers...>

Legalese Region
Regional Quarterfinal Results

Mahaliastan 0-5 Marceau State
Sativaville 3-0 Aigosthena

Tessan 1-0 Dicuban
AwalKB 1-0 Ozzelia


Regional Semifinal Matchups:

Marceau State v. Sativaville
Tessan v. AwalKB

"And now onto the Coverage of the Bazalope Regional Quarter Finals of the Baptism of Fire. Brought to you by Cute Bunny Burger Corp. 'Hop To It'. We start at SeaBazalope Arena."

"Mrkvejina won against The NSSR by a 2 goal difference with the Scoreline of 3-1."

"And at Drago Soccer Field Dingzanwa and Danskmark had to go into extra time as no one scored but Danskmark scored a goal and prevented Dingzanwa from scoring ending in Extra Time with 0-1."

"At CBBC Dome, Tecpatl beat Third England 2 to nothing."

"Meanwhile at TeleBaz Stadium, Krajkovia embarresed Kedalfax with a 5-0 white wash."

Regional Semi Finals:

Mrkvejina vs Danskmark at CBBC Dome
Tecpatl vs Krajkovia at TeleBaz Stadium

The AwalKB Times
AWALKB DEFEATS OZZELIA IN QUARTERFINAL THRILLER

Legalese -- Today, doubters of the AwalKB National Team were silenced as the team was victorious over the squad representing Ozzelia.

The Sex Gods dominated the entire match for the first 80 minutes with 15 shots 8 on goal versus the Ozzelia team's 4 shots 1 of which was on goal. Soon after, Coach Alfred Flatt started to make tactical substitutions in anticipation for an overtime putting in the experienced legs of Zindale Kennedy and Hitch Hiker.

Although his idea may have been to utilize them in the extra time, his substitues came in handy in the 88th minute when Andre Rico made a fantastic cross which was finished by the head of Kennedy to score the lone goal and game winner, putting AwalKB's BoF record to an impressive 5-1-1.

This marks AwalKB's first ever elimination-round win in any international tournament. However, despite the Sex God's continued success this can very easily be barred by their next opponent, the very strong Tessan National Team.

With news of the chance to face the nobility of Tessan, AwalKB national team players began to make jokes that a win for them could start a war between the two countries. As the Tessan king has been known for his ever increasing pride. However AwalKB Prime Minister and Head of the AwalKB National Football Association, Dunkn Do Nut, has said, "I am in no way worried about winning this upcoming match. Should the nobility of Tessan touch one of our players or go so far as to act as though one is inferior, I have already written up a declaration of war that need only be signed."

The upcoming semi-final match is very highly anticipated, but as most experts say, "Up in the air". "Anyone can win it, it will most likely come down to who wants it more, I wouldn't be suprised if this one came down to extra time or even penalty kicks," says Chief Football Analyst of The AwalKB Times, Joe Malone.

The match is set to kickoff at 18:00 Legalese Time, and be yet another BoF thriller for the AwalKB side. By Joe Lohos

http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/6891/slammrw29c8wd.gif
Marceau's Official Newsletter of International Soccer

Marceau is On to the Next Round in the Baptism of Fire for Word Cup 29 as they Dominated a good Mahaliastan squad and won 5-0 the five nill win is the sign of how good this team is.Maxime Fréchette again scored a pair and Martin Fréchette Scored another the other two goals came from the boots of J.S. Cousteau and Alexandre Imbeault this is Cossile's 4th Straight Shutout and it was Marceaus 3rd 5 nill win of the tournament.
"Well the Ball just keeps on bouncing our way and the Fréchette Brothers are simply amazing. Alexandre Imbeault's Goal was the thing that really set us off as he booted a great shot on a free kick. The only shame of the match was the referee's Idea that Marc Myre being as tall as he is means he automatically gets a penallty the instant he went for a header deserved or not he must have been fouled at least 12 times luckily no cards but still the refs made some bad calls and in a closer game it could ended up costing us the game"--Coach Vignault
Marceau's next oppenent is who they last lost to and the only tiome Marceaudidn't core a goal. They Will be looking for revenge as Saitavaille shut out Marceau 3-0 back on matchday 4


Marceaus BoF Schedule(marceau Goal Scorers)
MD1: BYE
MD2: Tessan L 2-1(Lezclair)
MD3: Ashterrus D 1-1(Mrt.Fréchette)
MD4: Sativaville L 3-0(NG)
MD5: Sovietry W 5-0 (Mrt.Fréchette(3),Lezclair,Mx.Fréchette)
MD6: Bothen W 5-0 (Mrt.Fréchette,Mx.Fréchette(4))
MD7: Ozzelia W 1-0 (Cousteau)
RQF: Mahaliastan W 5-0 (Imbeault,Mx. Fréchette(2),Mrt. Fréchette,Cousteau)
RSF: Sativaville

Marceau Goal Scoring Leaders
1-Maxime Fréchette - 7
2-Martin Fréchette - 6
3-Vincent Lezclair -2
4-J.S. Cousteau - 2
5-Alexandre Imbeault-1

Legalese Region
Regional Quarterfinal Results

Sativaville 3-0 Aigosthena

Tessan 1-0 Dicuban
AwalKB 1-0 Ozzelia

Regional Semifinal Matchups:

Marceau State v. Sativaville
Tessan v. AwalKB

“Your majesty, another victory for your champions. The Crown prince shut out the foe once more 1-0 and Sir Brian struck home with the victorious blow against the foe! We’re onto the final eight now!”

“That is good,” King John replied pleased, “Have you learned who we’re facing next herald?”

“Yes Your Majesty but…” the herald paused uncertainly.

“Spit it out man! I didn’t cut your tongue out yet have i?”

“No Majesty its just that…we’re facing a team calling themselves the ‘Sex Gods’.”

The herald blinks in shock as King John begins laughing hysterically.

“Majesty are you well?”

“Oh quite well herald. Don’t you see? The greatness of our team has frightened these ‘Legalese’ people who have set obstacles in our righteous path of triumph throughout this tournament. Fearing our total and utter domination of their little tournament they have summoned forth living gods to try and stop our quest. Oh this will be a mighty battle, gods against men, at last a foe worthy of my team’s greatness. No doubt after even these living ‘gods’ fall before us they will just hand us the trophy right then and there out of respect for our superiority that they will be forced to acknowledge.”

“I don’t think they are REALLY gods…” began the herald before he was cut off.

“Nonsense, if these were not gods then they would have been struck down for their arrogance. No these are indeed gods walking among us. But fear not loyal herald I have a plan to deal with these gods.”

“Shall I send forth the Royal herald your majesty?”

“Yes and send for Madame Lissome from the Golden Swallow spa as well.”

“As you wish Majesty.”

<the royal herald steps out to the balcony some time later>

“Hear ye! Hear ye! His Most Noble, Righteous and Benevolently Beloved Majesty King John IV wishes to inform his faithful people that once more the Crown prince has rendered our foe impotent in the field of battle as we have triumphed once more. Fearing our inevitable triumph, the foul organizers have summoned living gods to face us next in the hopes of defeating His Majesty’s champions. But worry not good people, Duke Anton himself has assured us that neither god nor man shall make them stray from their quest of victory for king and kingdom!”

<crowd cheers>

<meanwhile at the lobby of the hotel the AwalKB team is staying at the desk clerk’s jaw drops as a dozen scantily clad women stroll to the front desk>

“Is this the hotel the Sex Gods,” <giggles> “are staying at?” the first one asked.

“Um…yes it is…miss.” The clerk stammered.

“Oh Good!” the woman beamed clapping her hands together excitedly as the clerk’s eyes were drawn to all the other things that were also moving around. “Could you tell us which floor we could find them on?”

“Um, uh, their floor is off limits I’m afraid…” he stammered

“Do you think they would mind if we went to visit them? We did come all this way to see them…” she replied pouting. “Are you suure they don’t want to see us? They’ll be real mad if they find out we came by and you didn’t let us in..” she finished leaning forward towards the flustered clerk.

“Yes, I mean no I mean…sixth floor, they have the entire floor rented out, the penthouse.” He answered sweat forming on his nervous brow.

“Thank you” the woman replied with a dazzling smile before looking back to her companions. “This way girls, the gods are waiting.”

SATIVAVILLE STONER
We tell you where the Doritos are!!!

Big day for the Fritos as they continued their run for a BoF title with an impressive 3-0 win over Aigosthena yesterday. This is Monty Python and here with me in the studio is the Fritos star striker, Humberto Pellecchia, who scored all three goals, one in the 34th minute and the other two in the 67th and 82nd minutes; for the Fritos yesterday giving him an impressive 11 goals in the 6 matches the Fritos have played. Humberto, to what do you attribute your skills?

Humberto (through a translator): God, Doritos and Burrito King.

Monty: Ok... How does it feel to be the 1st Sativan to score a hat-trick in international play?

Humberto: I feels good. I need to score or else family die.

Monty: I'm sorry what did you just say??

Humberto: I say nothing. i got to go practice time for next match. Thank you for talk. bye now. (leaves room w/ interpreter following, who's yelling at Humberto)

Monty: well that was weird. Any way up next for the Fritos is Marceau State, who beat Mahaliastan 5-0 in the upset of the Quarterfinals. Even though Sativaville beat them 3-0 in group play, this semifinal match should be a nailbiter. For the Stoner, I'm Monty Python.

Njuselyttr dz Fuutbjalkov Mrkvejnia!

For those who don't understand Mrkvejnian, the following has been roughly translated by Mrkvejnias only government approved translator, Zvonimirk Jzerkov.

Semi-Fjnal for NATIONAL TEAM MRKVEJNIA!!

National Team Mrkvejnia triumphed has at stage of first knockout! Display superb from team enough to KO enemies! Danskmark to face Mrkvejnia next in round, Mrkvejnians National Team game to approach with fires in hearts of plajers!! Reporting from Baptism as always having we Zvonimirk Jzerkov live at Baptism for Exklusiv!!! National Team Mrkvejnian news!

Zvonimirk: Brvoshka Shlambovk Coach Schvlotcic, rays of light glorious shining are onto team yes?

Coach Schvlotcic: Brvoshka Shlambovk to you Zvonimirk, Coach Schvlotcic is how you call 'Really excited!' (Coach Schvlotcic gives a thumbs up to Zvonimirk) Team performing incredible is yes, and goal difference to Mrkvejnia mainly due to hard rock (http://www.shetland-heritage.co.uk/amenitytrust/archaeology/painted%20pebble.jpg) defence from Gyrorik dz Tjalkic (http://vision.york.ac.uk/articles/149/thesketch/images/idiot.jpeg) and Alexandr Sveltcic (http://idiot.se/bilder/alexander_emelianenko_01.jpg).

Zvonimirk: Yes yes, Zvonimirk will be sacrificing fifty newts to National Team Mrkvejnia when next I in Mrkvejnia next! Goalscoring record superduper is yes? How motivate team you do since working well seems to be doing?

Coach Schvlotcic: Hah hah Zvonimirk National Team Mrkvejnia very good teamwork has, also having we mighty Vloslav (http://www.ideagrove.com/blog/uploaded_images/ChuckNorris2-793901.jpg) intimidating to our players is so option of failure is not. Saying it that life exists not on Mars because Vloslav (http://www.ideagrove.com/blog/uploaded_images/ChuckNorris2-793901.jpg) already been there has! Fear to strike into hearts and how you say, 'cojones?' of opposition everywhere of Mrkvejnia!

Zvonimirk: Are you of words for Danksmark having next game to prior? Must be of shivering in boots yes?

Coach Schvlotcic: Having of words yes! Like efficiently hand made Mrkvejnian Battleship (http://www.satellitebeach.org/images/PhotoAlbum/Recreation_Abounds/Dinghy-Vazquez.jpg) operate we do, cogs all of high Mrkvejnian standard are of being yes. Yet small crack can of having large effekt, Danskmark Mrkvejnian National Team has been in locally produced elm tree oil marinaded that to mean crackproofing!

Zvonimirk: Words wise of yes from almightyness Coach Schvlotcic! Zvonimirk is understanding love lost of none between nations although Zvonimirk believing Mrkvejnia can winning Baptism! Gryshkit dz Vorzirk jerzstic Mrkvejnia! Luck of a thousand having you! Zvonimirk Jzerkov reporting exclusiv!! for Njuselyttr dz Fuutbjalkov Mrkvejnia!

On of coming National Team Mrkvejnia!!!!!111!!11

"What?! They think my players are what?!"

"Gods, sir."

"Gods..as in Sex Gods?"

"No, sir, real gods..."

"You're kidding right?"

"No, not at all, they came out of the elevator, and when we told them to stop they started jabbering on and on about the highness of Tessan announcing us as gods..."

The assistant smiles mischieveously as Alfred Flatt lets out a howling laugh.

"GODS! Oho this is wonderful. What do ya say, time to give the players a break? I know Wilson hasn't had some for quite a while..."

"Well, sir..."

"Nevermind you, get all the guys in here pronto, I'll fill them in, and then you let the girls by, alright?"

"Well, alright, sir."

"Oh what a wonderful suprise the great royalty of Tessan has brought for us tonight, I hope we don't let those ladies down. Oh and, please sent word of this to the Prime Minister, I'm sure he'll have a great laugh at this one."

"And now onto the Baptism of Fire, Bazalope Regional Semi Finals, brought to you by Cute Bunny Burger Corp. 'hop to it'. We'll at CBBC Dome."

"Mrkvejnia dominated Danskmark preventing a single goal against them while scoring 2 themselves. 2-0 at full time."

"and now to TeleBaz Stadium.."

"Tecpatl lost by 2 to Krajkovia in a 6 goal scoring extraveganza, 2-4 was the final scoreline."

"The Bazalope Regional Final will be held at TeleBaz Stadium with Mrkvejnia facing Krajkovia."

Legalese Region
Regional Semifinal Results


Marceau State 1-4 Sativaville
Tessan 1-0 AwalKB


Regional Final Matchup:

Sativaville v. Tessan

“Brilliant your Majesty just brilliant!” the herald exclaimed jubilantly.

“Be a bit more specific herald, all my decisions are brilliant, which one are you referring to this time?” King John modestly replied.

“Sorry Your Majesty, the one about sending Madame Lissome’s girls to the hotel the gods were staying at. The ladies wore out the Gods allowing the Crown prince to once more shutout these divine beings while Sir James once more defeated the foe’s final defense to give us a 1-0 triumph over the Sex Gods.”

“Naturally the plan worked, if the girls did not perform their duties correctly and we lost it would have been a shame to have them all executed. It would have clearly not been through any flaw in my own plan.”

“Of course not your Majesty.”

“I suppose I should send a donation to their spa. Is that school fund still around?”

“Yes Majesty.”

“Excellent take a hundred gold coins from its funding and send it to the spa as a token of my esteem for their performance.”

“As you command Your Majesty.”

“So who shall we vanquish next? If living gods fall to my nobles then surely mere mortals will prove no trouble.”
“I believe it is that it is Sativaville. One of the teams that dared to tie your team in the early rounds, they have joined us in what they call the ‘regional finals’ we have reached the final four as it were.”

“Excellent, how better than to avenge their arrogance in tying my unvanquished nobles than smiting the foul villagers in this rematch to crown ourselves the champions of this ‘Legalese’ region. I expect Duke Anton knows I demand nothing less than an avenging triumph in this chance to remove the stain of this draw from his honor.”

“Yes Majesty he has already sent word that the dishonor shall be washed away this time and again offers his apologies for not conquering them last time.”

“Very well, I shall hold him to it. Now send for the royal herald.”

<The Royal Herald appears atop the palace balcony shortly thereafter>

“Hear ye! Hear ye! His Most Noble, Righteous and Benevolently Beloved Majesty King John IV wishes to inform his faithful people that even the living gods themselves were no match for the unconquerable will of the Crown Prince who turned aside their every effort once more. The King is pleased to note that since the next round of play has begun, the Crown Prince has ended his gracious ways of allowing other teams to score to salvage their pride and shut out both opponents in these final rounds. The gallant Sir James ensured the efforts did not go to waste by striking home our triumphant goal with a shot no mortal or immortal could stop. Next we shall avenge ourselves against Sativaville, a place of minor importance who dared not lose gracefully against us last time. Two more victories and His majesty’s team shall have conquered all foes in this tournament for the glory of king and kingdom!”

<crowd cheers>

"I WANT FLATT'S HEAD NOW!!!!"

"Sir, we believe he is currently hiding out somewhere in Legalese, we cannot seem to find him."

"WELL THEN MAYBE I SHOULD JUST TAKE ALL OF YOUR HEADS IN HIS PLACE!!!"

"No, sir, we think we know where he is, we just need the Legalese Police to cooperate with us."

"THIS IS RIDICULOUS. HOW COULD THE STUPID SOME OF A GUN FALL FOR SUCH A BLATANT TRICK! GIRLS! FOR GODS SAKE THAT FOOL. I WANT HIM BROUGHT INTO MY OFFICE BEFORE THE START OF WORLD CUP QUALIFYING...AND MAKE SURE I HAVE A KNIFE WITH ME!"

"Yes, sir, we'll be right on it, sir."

"AWAY WITH YOU, YOU ARROGANT FOOL!"

The secretary quickly walks away and hear's the destruction of the Prime Ministers office along with the muffled yells of his...but dares not look back...

<Meanwhile in Legalese...>

"No, please no don't tell them I'm here, please they'll kill me!"

"I'm sorry, sir, but we have to respect their laws or else we'll be on the brink of war."

"No please no!"

"I'm sorry, sir-"

Ten AwalKB soldiers burst into the room and point 10 loaded rifles on Alfred Flatt.

"PUT YOUR HAND IN THE AIR."

"PLEASE PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!"

"PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE F***ING AIR"

Flatt puts his hands over his head and whimpers to himself.

"Cuff this bastard, lets get out of here before these slimey police change their minds."

"Please, don't kill me"

"Not our job, buddy. We'll leave that to the Prime Minister..."

http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/6891/slammrw29c8wd.gif
Marceau's Official Newsletter of International Soccer

The Run is done as Marceau Losses to Sativaville 4 to 1 This loss marks the end of the Baptism of Fire for Marceau they will however continue on to the World Cup and with this experience this team will be a handfull. Some rumors lately of the Fréchette's bolting the RVFA Structre to play in Lisburn Mateys have started heating up and with this loss I'm sure we'll find out soon.Both Brothers are Free Agents and are expected to be in the Priemer Division for one of the Marceau Clubs or even RV Celtic has inquired about them.Only time will tell.
"Well Sativaville managed to shut down the Fréchette scoring machine and with that we are out. I will be looking at ways to improve our offensive output from more than just the brothers.I think twords the end we started to see more offense from more players especially Cousteau and Imbeault We will now focus on getting ready for the World Cup."Reporter blurts outr a question"Well as for teh Fréchette Brothers being ready for the Priemer leagues I think they are in my twelve years at Marceau FC I never saw a more talented duo Martin's Finishing ability is amazing and Maxime all around skill is one that will generate many plays in either the RVFA or in Lisburn Mateys League. I think Martin and Maxime would be a great fit in the RVFA and a great way to promote it but if they do leave they will be the first players to leave Roryville's Football Structre and what a great thing for them and all of the RVFA community"--Coach Vignault
Marceau's next oppenent is undetremined it wil more than likely be some warmups against Marceau FC,PSV Marceau,1922 Marceau and possibly some of the other Clubs in Marceau and the RVFA Marceau is slated to play Rorysville in a week at National Stadium in Downtown Rorysville City as a way to promote the World Cup for both teams.


Marceaus BoF Schedule(marceau Goal Scorers)
MD1: BYE
MD2: Tessan L 2-1(Lezclair)
MD3: Ashterrus D 1-1(Mrt.Fréchette)
MD4: Sativaville L 3-0(NG)
MD5: Sovietry W 5-0 (Mrt.Fréchette(3),Lezclair,Mx.Fréchette)
MD6: Bothen W 5-0 (Mrt.Fréchette,Mx.Fréchette(4))
MD7: Ozzelia W 1-0 (Cousteau)
RQF: Mahaliastan W 5-0 (Imbeault,Mx. Fréchette(2),Mrt. Fréchette,Cousteau)
RSF: Sativaville L 4-1(Cousteau)

Marceau Goal Scoring Leaders
1-Maxime Fréchette - 7
2-Martin Fréchette - 6
3-J.S. Cousteau - 3
4-Vincent Lezclair -2
5-Alexandre Imbeault-1

Regional Semifinal Results:
Tessan v. AwalKB 1-0

Regional Final Matchup
Tessan v. Sativaville

"And now onto the Baptism of Fire Regional Final, Brough to you by Cute Bunny Burger Corp. 'Hop to it.' At TeleBaz Stadium."

"Mrkvejnia eeked out a win against Krajkovia with Mrkvejnia winning 3-2 on Penalty kicks with the scoreline being nil all after extra time."

"Mrkvejnia will go onto the finals at Titanplex in Legalese while Krajkovia will stay in Bazalonia and play against the loser of the Legalese Regional final for the 3rd Place Play Off at TeleBaz Stadium."

"This BazSports Baptism of Fire update has been brought to you by Cute Bunny Burger Corp. 'Hop to it'"

Sativaville Stoner
We Tell You Where the Doritos Are!!

Monty Python once again here live in Legalese as the Fritos have continued their amazing run in the Baptism of Fire as they best Marceau State in the Regional Semis 4 to 1. Goals scored by Humberto Pellecchia in the 23rd and 34th minute gave Sativaville a lead they would not relinquish. J.S. Cousteau of Marceau State scored in the 1st minute of stoppage time in the 1st half to cut the lead to 2-1, but a goal only 2 minutes later by Miles Wecker, gave the Fritos a 3-1 half lead. The final goal of the match wason a penalty kick by Teddy Terada, scoring the 1st goal by a midfielder in the tourney for Sativaville. The team was not availible for comment after the match. Up next for Sativaville is Tessan who drew with the Fritos 1-1 on the 2nd day of group play. Which is stronger? The unresistable attack of Sativaville or the Unstoppable force of the Tessan Defence? Coverage of the Legalese Regional Finals will be carried live to all of Sativaville on Channel 420, the Soccer Channel for the Stoner, this has been Monty Python.

"Sheriff? Urgent call on line 1."

Sheriff Bruno P. Cunningham of Bekk County picks up the phone.

"Sir, Deputy Lamont here. We have a situation at the Hospitality House, involving the AwalKB National Team."

The Sheriff grumbled. Damn foriegners. "Go on, deputy. What's going on?"

"Well Sir, it appears there are members of their military attempting to crash one of their rooms in."

"What!? No armed personnel were given permission to enter the country. Hold for backup, I'll be down there as quickly as possible, with reinforcements."

The forces arrived, including a unit of the armed defence milita stationed in the city. They closed in on the foriegn soldiers, who were dragging a man, wearing a windjacket identifying himself with the AwalKB national soccer team, in cuffs."

Sheriff Cunningham got on the megaphone. "Gentlemen, you are now surrounded. Lower your weapons, and release the man in cuffs, or you will be charged with tresspassing, as well as false imprisionment."

Legalese Region
Regional Semifinal Results


Sativaville 2-1 Tessan


Third Place Playoff:
From the Telebaz Dome in Bazalona:

Krajkovia v. Tessan


Baptism of Fire Championship

From the Titanplex in Francopolis, Legalese

Sativaville v. Mrkvejna

Sativaville Stoner
We Tell You Where the Doritos Are!!


WHAT A MATCH... WHAT A MATCH!!! Sativaville upsets the previously unbeaten Tessan 2-1 in match that saw Humberto Pellecchia's amazing goal scoring streak end, but the Fritos won to advance to the CoH finals!! Tessan's Baron Kyle Artest scored in the 30th minute to give the Lords and Knights the lead, one they usually didn't relinquish. However, Crown Prince John Pierson gave up a tying goal scored by Vicente Penas in the 40th to tie the match at 1-all. Both sides came out of the half attacking and countering trying to score the winning goal, but a misplayed cross by Sir Brian Dallas, was taken by Penas and the Crown Prince was dead to rights as Penas scored in the 73rd minute to give the Fritos a 2-1 lead. Head Coach of Tessan, Duke Anton Conway, made a sudden change going from the 2-1-7 to a 1-1-8, moving Goodman Fredrick Lee into the match to try to tie the match once again. But the Sativaville defense, so vastly underrated during the tourney, held firm led by Captain Efrain Strauf's diving header to keep Fredrick Lee's shot on goal out of the net in the 87th minute and by Billie Queenan's 13 saves.

Up Next for the Fritos is a match against Mrkvejna, for the BoF title. Mrkvejna has had an impressive run as well going 6-0-0 in group play and 3-0 during the regoinals. A team that has never tasted defeat vs. the best defense in the BoF.

SATIVAVILLE--23GF/6 GA +17GD
MRKVEJNA--24GF/7GA +17GD

This could go either way. Expect this match to go to penalties, with Sativaville winning, 2-1 (3-2 PK). For the Stoner, this is Monty Python.

The royal heralds were all gathered together outside the throne room nervously looking at each other as none wished to go inside.

“You tell him.” One demanded to the herald next to him.

“Are you nuts?!? He’ll kill me, why don’t you go, he likes you better.” The second replied gesturing to the third.

“Not when its about something like this, no way.” The third insisted as unnoticed to them all King John’s youngest child, the three year old Princess Donna toddled happily past the arguing heralds and into the throne room as the guards let her past.

“PAPA! JOHN LOSE!” the princess declared in a loud child’s voice as she ran smiling to her father.

“WHAT!?!?!?!?!” the King roared as the heralds flinched as one as they wondered who told the princess. “WHERE ARE MY HERALDS!?!?!” he bellowed.

Tripping over themselves in their haste to arrive, the heralds tripped over themselves in their haste to arrive and promptly fell to their bellies in respect as they trembled fearfully before the king who was busy smiling and bouncing his happy daughter on his knee. Looking at his underlings the king asked. “So my heralds, why is it I hear of this first from my little angel. Did we lose?”

“Yes your majesty.” One of them replied “For the second time we could not beat Sativaville, 2-1 was the score.”

“The Crown Prince allowed not one but TWO goals this time?”

“Yes Majesty, we could only score once. Baron Kyle scored our goal.”

“WHAT? Did I give Duke Anton permission to put him back onto the field?”

“No Majesty, you didn’t but Duke Anton felt it was not proper to have the commoner on the field in a match like this. But then the Baron got another red card for punching an official after he was called offsides. He will not be able to play tomorrow. The commoner almost tied the goal but being a commoner he messed it up. Squire James was in the game as well in the end.”

“This is an outrage! And let me guess, my royal mapmakers have no idea where this place is either so I may unleash my knights against them?”

“Correct your Majesty.”

“I see, send word that the Duke is to be given 10 lashes for his disobedience to my will and for allowing the Crown Prince to fare so poorly. Now send in the Royal Herald we have much to discuss. As for you cowardly lot, all of you shall receive 10 lashes for your cowardly nature.” The king demanded in an icy tone before suddenly he smiled and looked down at his daughter who had reached up and taken the crown off his head as he made his announcements. “Give daddy his crown back princess.” He said playfully as he began tickling the princesses who squealed with laughter and dropped the crown as the heralds took their chance to vanish before the king noticed.

<some time later the Royal herald stepped forth to the balcony>

““Hear ye! Hear ye! His Most Noble, Righteous and Benevolently Beloved Majesty King John IV wishes to let his people know that His Majesty has declared in the interest of fairness, given the superior nature of his team that it is only right that we step aside in this tournament to allow the lesser teams some chance of winning. Knowing that our triumph was inevitable His Majesty felt it would not be right to take further advantage of these poor nations by continuing to demonstrate our dominance on the field. So he has graciously ordered the team to step down and play a meaningless exhibition match to help the poor and downtrodden in the host countries knowing that having our team there will increase ticket sales 300% to aid these poor unfortunates who do not have the fortune of living here in Tessan. His Majesty has also announced that we shall instead save our initial triumph for the World Cup proper for an epic triumph more worthy of king and kingdom.”

<crowd cheers>

(ooc to Tessan: Got ya back for WC27 BoF loss....lol)

((ooc- yeah stop doing that already ;)

"and now onto the 3rd place play off for the Baptism of Fire, Brought to you by Cute Bunny Burger Corp. 'Hop to it'."

"Krajkovia fell to Tessan with only 1 goal in the entire match. 0-1 was the score at Full time at TeleBaz Stadium."

Tessan was 3rd in the Baptism of Fire and Krajkovia is 4th. And thus ends our Baptism of Fire coverage. We'd like to thank our Sponsors Cute Bunny Burger Corp. 'Hop to it'."

Baptism of Fire Championship

From the Titanplex in Francopolis, Legalese

Sativaville 2-1 Mrkvejna


Congrats to Sativaville, the winner of the Baptism of Fire Cup! Thanks to all those who participated, and best of luck in qualifying.

Baptism of Fire Championship

From the Titanplex in Francopolis, Legalese

Sativaville 2-1 Mrkvejna


(to the tune of Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffet)
WINNING AGAIN IN SATIVAVILLE
AND IT'S ALL MRKVEJNA'S KEEP'S FAULT
THEY LOOKED TO THE REFS TO BLAME
BUT HUMBERTO IS WORTH HIS SALT!!

Sativaville yesterday completed one of the more impressive runs ever in the Baptism of Fire as they beat Mrkvejna 2-1 on a last minute goal by Humberto
Pellecchia. All though replays showed his was offsides, the linesman didn;t raise the flag and he scored, lobbing the ball just over Mrkvejnan keep, Brynrjk Skunj (i don't know how to even try to pronounce it) and ending a classic Final. Mrkvejna scored first in the 43rd minute as Vloslav, scored on a penalty kick caused by Stephan Kampmann's red card which put the Fritos down a man at half. The Fritos were not to be denied and in the 66th minute, Edmond Gainor, off a corner surprisingly deflected the bal into the net tying the match at 1-1. the next 22 minute saw both teams pull out all the stops to score and until Humberto's goal neither side blinked. With this win, Sativaville knocked off 2 consecutive unbeatens and both times came back from 1-0 half time deficits.

Sativaville takes it place in history with the other 15 BoF winners. the big question is will they be like Cuation, the Islands of Qutar, Bettia, Tutori, Dance 2 Revolution and Sarzonia, teams that have gone on to play and win in the World Cup or will they be like Liamist States, Eystrck, South Ossetia or Hurfordia and slip back into the great muck of international play? Hopefully with time Sativaville can compete consistantly with the best the world has to offer. For the Stoner, on my way to WC 29 qualifying, this has been Monty Python.