NationStates Jolt Archive


Secession and Civil War

Zigman
25-02-2006, 06:03
OOC:This is my first stab at role-playing my own little story. This is a small way to introduce my nation.

IC:

It was fall, and the trees were beginning to change color. From green to red to gold to brown. The brownish-gold of the maple was sticking out especialy. General McKrown thought it might make a good National Tree. He had never been in the eastern part of the States, and now wished he had come at a different time. If not for the sound of his armor and calvalry coming in and about 60,000 men marching and setting up camp in the beautifuly epic woods, he might have been at peace. But there were more improtant issues at hand.

He still remembers the anticipation he felt when first handed the instructions of this most dangerous assigment. All he had done at the Chief of Staff meeting was say that the rebels had been in the east plains and that if we hit them there, they would crumble. All he could remember now was saying something he knew he would later regret.

"All we need to do hit the plains! If we win one battle there, they'll just give up. We will have there life basket!"

It wasn't a complete lie. The plains were there life basket. Even now the General could see the hills and slopes covered with corn and beans. It went on forever. But out of the Secretary of State Colin Orver's mouth next was something not expected.

"Then YOU take the it"

He had hope that Orver would have shut up and let General Zarroff take it. But instead he convinced President Sheit to look at McKrown instead. That damn SOB may be the President's right hand man on the nation, but as soon as Zarroff tried to contact the Sheit and tried to get Orver in some trouble, Orver steped in and wanted Zarroff demoted. It didn't work, but things have been stedily worse scince then.

But another split in the nation was the last thing the Allied States needed. Those communist bastards from the east, where the General was standing, had torn the small nation into a bloodbath of political strief. Not even a war of good reason. They just said "We want to be socialist!" and left it at that.
No trumpets sounding. No 21 gun salute. No nothing just blood in the streets.

Now, however, he had the advantage. Now, here was the Communists last stronghold.

Beyond a hill to the north lie a large stone building. It was 50 yards by 20, give or take. But one thing stood out, on the south side, the side McKrown and his forces were faceing, had a feature that none could see. A bomb. The bomb. 1200 yards high, the rocket was being aimed, according to Zarroff's intel, at Cabor, the capital. This was his mission. To take the bomb and make sure that he killed ALL of the commie SOB's inside. The corn and beans were a major factor, but this was the target

Now, with his battalions geared and ready, they moved. Silently the trees swayed as he had his tanks moved forward. They bombardedthe building and the Reds countered by fireing Anti-Tank Rockets at his calvaly. To make sure that all of the rockets were a non threat, the General ordered snipers to kill the Rocketers.

They fell within a matter of moments. All of them. All of his snipers were the best, and he was glad that the taxes of the Allied States had provided them with the most technologicy advanced rifles.

Presently, McKrown moved his infantry forward and had the taks move the the east, provideing a lefthand side advantage and there fore a left flank. The armor pounded the Rebels with shells while most of the infantry moved into the fortress. The tanks only stoped fireing when there was a danger of hitting there own forces.

Now, he sent in the Commandos. They went into the launch pad of the missile and all they did was cut a wire. Cut a wire. Even Sheit wont belive that, General McKrown thought.
Zigman
25-02-2006, 23:56
OOC: is this a good RP story or not? i think its kind of short. would like feedback
Haraki
26-02-2006, 00:34
OOC: Only one problem I can find. You didn't leave any openings for people to step in. If you had requested foreign aid or something, it would have been much easier to get replies. Also, you left off in the middle of a scene. When that happens, people feel they are interrupting something. If you had finished the scene, resolved the battle, and then said "Okay, we defeated the rebels once, but they're still strong in the hills" and out lined the situation, then requested foreign aid in defeating/capturing the rebels, I think that would work out better.

Key is to leave an opening. Leave a way for people to get in easily, because most people are lazy.
Zigman
26-02-2006, 01:49
that was the idea. it was just an introductory story for a small nation which had some plains in the east.
The Zombie Alliance
26-02-2006, 23:56
A) Is General Zarrof named after the villian from "The Most Dangerous Game"?
and
B) Who are the rebels, the communists or the guys who cut the wire on the bomb?