NationStates Jolt Archive

After reading and being inspired by this site: http://www.zompist.com/amercult.html I thought this is a good idea to get a feeling about the culture of your NS nation. Also it's a good thing to link to in NSWiki.

To make the beginning:

If you're Rejistanian

You believe in two contrary forces in the world, but the name you give them differs depending on where you are from.
You're familiar with High-Priest Haxada (Head of State), SyLy, SyMy, Nana Daki, Visnu Kanavan, "SeKa", Linux Raju (soccer players), Teke Daran (president of the ASR), Hank~hila Sede (first head of state and government), Kansu Iknel (actor), Jdesi Syku (actress), Idine and Hekure Sala (radio speakers) and Kekeken and Nininin (famous comic)
You however are not sure who your current head of government is
You know Soccer (which is very important in the nation), field hockey and mjinen, you might know ice hockey and baseball and american football exist, but that's it unless you're in a kalesa with foreigners
Three to six weeks of vacation are normal

If you died tonight...

You expect to be reincarnated, your status in the next life depends on your simu
You think Fast Food is sold in small stands at public places
You probably own a telephone, if not, know many public telephones in your area, you most likely own a radio and a TV. You do your laundry in a machine, even though it might not be your own. You don't kill your own food. You don't have a dirt floor. You eat at a table, sitting on chairs.
You don't consider dogs, cats, monkeys, or guinea pigs to be food, some insects are tasty however
A bathroom may not have a bathtub in it but has a toilet.
It is normal that railroads, the telephone system, internet infrastructure and public transport are run by the government and competing companies (jasika'ny), power plants are run by the government
You expect telephones to work, getting a new phone is routine unless you are in the middle of nowhere.
The train system is excellent. A train is faster than a car
Flying domestically is for those with too much money
You expect more than a dozen parties natural, the idea of a constant-sized parliament however isn't since every candidate who gets more than 3% of the votes advances into parliament. However not everyone's vote counts as much.
'Black' and 'foreign' are skin colours
You think most problems could be solved if only people would start working more efficiently for a change.
You are not likely to sue anyone or be sued
You know foreign languages, as well as rejistanian, which is a foreign language to you
You wonder what income tax is but think sales tax of 100% is normal
Education is free (at least as option)


Everybody knows that

Shaving cream comes in cans, milk comes in bottles, mustard comes in jars but no one buys it
The date is YY/MM/DD
The decimal point is a dot or a comma in mid height
A thousand million is "jeory", not billion
You do not need to write trailing zeros since writing 2ke for 20, 2ry for 200, 2xi for 2000 is less easy to misread.
You expect marriages to be made out of choice or reason, but not against the consent of the couple. The marriage is confirmed by a government official, religious ceremonies are optional but common
If a man has sex with another man, he is homosexual and you do your best not to notice
You call people by their last name followed by a 'he if showing respect and by their first name or nickname is being colloquial
If your a woman, you can go to the beach topless or nude, but you probably will not
a hotel room has a shared bathroom, unless it is high-class
you watch foreign films preferably dubbed, but quite often they do not exist in your first language so you watch a dubbed rejistanian version
Transacting business and dealing with the government works best with 'ymeti rejistaniha' (private transactions, which are not necessarily legal)
If a politician has been cheating on his wife, you don't care much. No one is perfect, su?
You transfer money by cheque but from one account to another via the banks.
You don't own a credit card, but probably a ATM card. Stores only accept cash.
A company can fire an individual only for a reason and a larger group of people only after discussion with the trade unions
You like your bacon soft

"It is a deal, su?"

If you are plumber than average it does not improve your looks, being taller however does.
You're used to having a wide variety of choices for almost anything you buy-- if you can afford it, of course.
You were forced to use imperial and developed a hatred against it. First thing after independence was to start using metrics
Chances are high that you are working in a factory, in the tourism-sector if you live near the beach of for the government if you live in Sike kali. You might be a farmer
The people who appear on the most popular talk shows are mostly entertainers, musicians and sportsmen, politicians appear on less popular shows
You think the VW Beetle would be a medium sized car if it existed ICly
You drive on the right side of the road, you only stop at the red light if there are people around, this also determines with how much fear or lack of it pedestrians cross the roads
Policemen are armed, but not with submachine guns or the like, we are a civilized country, su?
There are areas you want to avoid, but that depends on which team won
Inflation is lowish, and unemployment 'a bit too high'
You care about what ethnic group someone comes from, the family is less important
Opera and ballet are rather elite entertainments. It's likely you don't see that many plays, either. You do see soccer matches live however.
Christmas is a marketing ploy, period! You do not care about it (unless you are part of the christian minority)
Televangelists seems like a strange concept to you
Lawyers seem like a strange concept to you as well. Law is either 'arranged' or obvious.

Space and Time

If you have an appointment, and come five minutes too late, no one expects you. Everyone knows that appointments have quite a delta t
If you're talking to someone, you get uncomfortable if they want any kind of body contact like shaking hands, but on the other hand, foreigners will think you approach too close.
Bargaining is a game at every expensive buy
It is common that people from the same kalesa visit each other, also without invitation
When you negotiate, you are polite. This sometimes means not stating clearly what you mean, but you are okay with that.

You would not eat Cow or Ox. (it is forbidden by religous law).

You can go to any College or University you want, but you have only 3 years to get your degree or else you have to pay for it.

You hate anything that tastes like, feels like, looks like, smells like, sounds like, or is a Wombat. (they are evil burrowing creatures of the night).

You Know the the Holy Oxen is only a Figure Head in politics.

You would know that our Independence Day is July 2nd and that our founder was Goran Oxfield and his pet Ox Joe.

You would know that things like teleo-phones, teleo-visions and interweb are strictly controled by the government, but porn is availible 24 hrs a day on channel 340, for Free!

You have to vote, must get married, can be homosexual, you can eat only Grass on May 9th, marijuana is legal only in your house, kids are routinely paddled in class and that Ox is NOT a funny word despite anything those heathens in Green Wombat say on channel 872.

You cannot drive slower than 95 Mph on the highway or else your license will be suspened for 6 months, people over 70 cannot legally drive at all, and the Bump Draft is legal on the Interstate.

You will be forced to retire at age 59, must be in school from 8 am until 5pm, and ice cream is free but only on fridays.

You would know that the President can be Female, but the Holy Oxen must only be Male.

The Qazian Ox is the only animal that cannot be killed unless they eat your rutabegas, and even then you need permission from the Holy Oxen.

You would turn around and go back to your own country unless you wanted to be constanly harassed by our special forces. (they only leave you alone once you have been baptixed a Qazoxian Oxen of the 1st degree.)

You would Know that there are 20 Degrees of being a Qazoxian Oxen. The 21st degree is the Holy Oxen himself.

If you're Scolopendran

You believe in "sentient ['human'] rights" as ideals but intellectually understand that realistically, they are constructs of "enlightened" society with no natural, inalienable basis.
That being said, you would be exceedingly angry if your rights to free speech, free association, and bearing arms were threatened in the slightest.
Freedom of speech trumps respect of religion (those who prefer respect of religion are free to complain and debate against blasphemers).
You play football by international rules, and oblongball is a 'backyard' (i.e. extremely unorganized) sport. If you're human, you will generally be worried about letting a Kzin play. If you're kzinti, you will generally be worried about playing with humans. That being said, everyone performs Le Parkour ("urban freeflow").
Everything is a matter of equivalent exchange. There are no truly "free" rides in society, culture, economics, personal relationships, and ecology.
You expect one to two months of vacation time a year--the more stressful your job, the more you expect with two months being the limit.
You naturally think your religion/non-negotiable political views/artistic preferences are better for you than anyone elses. You also realize that everyone else thinks this too.
The concept of nobility being either genetic or otherwise passed down through an elitism of blood or nepotism is inherently offensive to you. The only exception to this rule is the tradition of the family head, which has no choice but to be genetic (or else it wouldn't be family, now would it?).
The concept of nobility being a matter of being earned is natural to you, especially if you are a kzin.

If you died tonight...

Some sort of priest or other spiritual figure would be there and you would greatly appreciate it.
Fast food comes from either vending machines or robot assembly lines.
Your cellular telephone also serves as a personal data assistant, music player, videophone, compass, multitool storage pack, and more like than not a bludgeon. The concept of a static, single-purpose telephone makes little to no sense to you except as an intercom.
You know what an envelope is from iconography. You've probably never used one except as part of a greeting card or an invitation.
Food comes from a supermarket, and prices tend to fluctuate slightly. Depending on where you are, the selection can vary widely depending on what the local area can actually grow. Commonly-used fruits and vegetables, like apples and tomatoes, usually come from your rooftop garden plot if you're lucky enough to have them.
Gardening is a Zen-like, spiritual hobby.
If it's CHON, nontoxic, and fails the Turing Test, you'll probably try it at least once.
A bathroom is for baths. A restroom has a toilet and a sink.
You plan your day around government public transit schedules if you need to move around in the city. Long-distance travel is either a matter of maglev or personal shuttle, depending on how far and how long.
You expect nearly everything to work. If it doesn't, then usually beating it around a bit will make it work long enough until you can get it repaired.
The train system is excellent. Cars are for inner city public service and emergency duties. Flying cars inside cities are right out.
Flying domestically is a physical must if you're going from one Segment to another.
Political parties are generally alien to you, but 'alignments,' 'concords,' and especially 'platforms' aren't. You pride yourself on keeping up on the political situation of the nation, but get confused by the details.
You generally respect the government and military (being a veteran) but at least mildly distrust them, being authority. You know the proverb "Respect authority, but always question it."
You don't trust lazy people. You especially don't trust people so lazy that they put no effort into their citizenship.
You respect those who refuse to earn their citizenship if they do so out of some sort of strongly held belief, but generally think them closed-minded or, if you don't like them that much, secretly lazy.
Racial slurs are everyday language. You would be surprised if someone was offended by your use of one; first you would apologize profusely and then you would ask politely if they're foreign.
You think most problems could be solved if only people would communicate better and persevere through them.
You are not likely to sue anyone or be sued
You are probably trilingual: Global English (a mixture of International and American), Arabic, and whatever language your parents know.
You know you could be taxed for absolutely everything... but only if you use it. You find it amusing that everyday commerce is classified as "Grey" by the UN.
For that matter, you don't trust the UN at all, as a matter of national pride.
Education isn't free; it's paid for by taxes (duh). That being said, everyone is taxed for education so you may as well take advantage of it.

Everybody knows that

Most everything you can think of comes in some sort of KCTS aerosol can form. That's pretty much the lowest-common-denominator, though.
Milk, shaving cream, and mustard all come in recyclable plastic containers (jugs, canisters, and squeezybottles respectively).
The date is always DD/MMM/YYYY (20 FEB 2006)
The decimal point is a period, but you're smart enough to use context if someone uses a comma.
A thousand million is a billion.
When you are introduced to someone, they are "Title Lastname (Mister Jones, Police Officer Al-Samakah." If they are older than you, they are "sir" or "ma'am." If you wish to compliment them, they are "sir" or "ma'am." First names are reserved for people you see every day. You give preference to the 'real name' part of kzinti names and, from their influence, refer to someone as "Title Firstname Lastname" if you really want to honor them.

All of the above also have sarcastic and insulting uses as well, but you use them sparingly.
Marriage happens. The government has nothing to do with it.
If a man has sex with another man, he is a homosexual and you probably could not possibly care less.
If it's hot outside, you're going to go out topless no matter your gender unless either you need the additional pockets a vest can provide or you're a religious conservative that frowns upon personal nudity.
Hostel rooms have communal showers and individual restrooms. Hotels have individual bathrooms.
You enjoy foreign films and you prefer them with subtitles. If you can't get it in subtitles, then you get a friend to translate for you.
You are insulted by the idea of having to bribe someone to do what they're already paid for. You are even more insulted by the idea of someone bribing you to do what you're already paid for.
If a politician has been cheating on his wife, it could go one of two ways: if he admits it, then he's a joke for a month or two. If he lies, then you cry for his blood.
Money exists in card, biometric credstick, and metal coin form. You don't trust paper notes because of the ease of counterfeiting. You don't trust metal coins or plastic notes because you can't safely run them through a microwave to burn out any RFIDs that the government you don't trust implicitly could've put in them.
You don't trust credit cards or banks because they get their profits primarily by hoping you break their rules. You have a bank account to store money; you have a credit card to cover emergencies. You do your damndest never to spend beyond your means.
A company can fire anyone for any reason... but should expect to help defray the cost of unemployment for six months and deal with any negative publicity.
You like your bacon soft, unless you're a religiously conservative Muslim at which point you like your bacon turkey.
You wear a weapon, unless you are an avowed pacifist or are just bad with one. On very hot days it may be the only thing you wear.
You don't accuse anyone of shirking of any caliber unless you can back it up, including fisticuffs.
Scolopendra victuallis centipedes are damn tasty roasted with garlic butter or boiled in rose water. It's like lobster.
Only foreigners or weirdos peel their centipedes before eating them.


Space and Time

Punctuality is the key to airpower. You do your best to arrive at least five minutes early to any appointment, and you expect others to do the same. You tolerate excuses, but are deeply offended if the person who made the appointment as a superior delays it.
If you are talking to someone, you're going to get as close as you can before they start looking nervous (usually thirty centimeters for fellow 'Pendrans, farther away for foreigners). Arms are standard touch-zones; torso is out. Below the waist is call for self-defense.
You point with your whole hand, thumb tucked in to your palm. Pointing with fingers, any number or combination of them, is bound to insult someone mildly.
Haggling is a social function. You haggle everywhere except where said social function is invalid (fast food botaurants, supermarket checkout lanes, crowded bank lines, and so on).
You commonly drop in on your friends uninvited, but you always bring something to make up for it (usually food; sometimes an activity everyone's wanted to do for a while). Of course, they do the same to you.
When you negotiate, you are polite but straightforward. You always tell the truth, but oftentimes not the whole truth. You get more loquacious the further you stretch it; foreigners often mistake it for speech in the style of "good breeding."
You time your day by the Islamic prayer cycles as naturally as others use "morning," "noon," "afternoon," "evening," and "night;" even if you are a Muslim you find any suggestion of a religious connotation surprising at first.

If You're Aumanii...

-Your temper is short, especially with foreigners.
-Losing your cool is alright in Auman, it proves that you're human and gets negative viewpoints out in the open so that they can be solved quickly.
-You own more guns than Charlton Heston, and you've probably used them...and I mean in a combat situation.
-Foreigners have no idea what you're all about.
-You have no clue what foreigners are all about.
-You're not apathetic to world conditions, though you're not about to get up and do something about them. Contradictory? A little.
-Contrary to popular belief, Violence is not the only answer. Most Aumanii at least try to talk their opponents down...(continued)
-No one will ever talk you down.
-If you're a woman you have no official rights, though you really run the show as you have your husband/children, terrified of you...respect through fear, first rule of the Aumanii Shock Trooper, cheerfully adopted by the Aumanii wife.
-You don't believe in god. You don't realize the difference between races and most importantly, if someone's bigger and better armed than you, it just means their kit is more prone to breaking down.


If you died tonight...

-You're dead. You're not going anywhere. You're not coming back, probably because god aint fit to wear your uniform, and he knows it.
-You wear multiple knives and handguns on your day to day attire, mostly for show, rarely for practical use.
-Your cell phone has shitty reception, doesn't matter cause you always have it turned off.
-Your unit commander would expect a full briefing, from you, on why you allowed yourself to die...then demand you ask permission before doing so, sir.
-There are three things you'd miss. Your dog, your kids and your guns. The wife, well, I'm sure the feeling is mutual.

Everybody knows that...

-You're probably a complete asshole. What they don't know, is that when you treat them like shit, it just means they see you as an equal.
-When you're being polite to them, it probably means you're planning on planting a knife in their back.
-Aumanii TV is awesome, as long as you like melodramatic, overly detailed, war sagas which account for every second the characters live through on screen.
-They've served in the Army, unless they're a woman - If they are a woman, they hate the army with a passion. If they are a man, they constantly remind civilians and women alike that they have no clue what military life is all about and ignore their opinions.
-Your clothes are bullet proof.
-Aumanii like cheese, beer and woodchips...don't ask why.
-They will constantly inform foreigners of their war record, no matter how minor.

The Difference between North and South...


-Up North, you press a button. Down South, you can't press a button if you have a knife, IN YOUR HAND! ~Courtesy of Seargant Zim.
-Up North, you use the internet to slander others, write endless blogs about nothing of particular interest and surf for porn. Down South, you perform DDOS

...To be continued...

If you're from the Federation of Allied Anime Worlds...

-Your greatest desire is to see the Federation return to the stars.
-You revere the memory of the Empress.
-You're genuinely happy with the rule of President Endymion.
-You are a registered member of the Imperial Party.
-If you are male, you may have settled a personal dispute at some time with a formalized brawl. If female, it's rare but not unheard of. If in the military, male or female, you almost certainly have. Brawls between people of different ranks are classified as "training sessions."
-You may be jealous of a younger brother or sister who has passed the General Test of Political and Life Skills, and has hence been granted full citizenship.
-You know you're an accident if you're less than four years or more than ten years in age apart from your closest sibilings.
-Couples space children more than four years apart to prevent sibiling rivalries.
-Your education has/had a heavy emphasis on competition, both individually and in groups.

Everyone knows that...

-It's not abnormal for there to be factions or divisions in a political party. After all, there's only one worth mentioning.
-FAAW is pronounced as one syllable, with the second part pronounced like "awe"
-There is no standard way of writing the date.
-The moral and legal equality of men and women is a simple fact that only young children even think to question.
-Some sort of demonstration of merit is imperative before being selected for any job.
-Belief in a god is as silly as belief in invisible rainbow-striped unicorns.
-People averse to fighting settle disputes with some kind of sporting competition. Those averse to sporting competitions settle disputes with some sort of mental competition. Those averse to even that just do what they're told when persuasion fails.
-A "thousand million" has no name of its own. Numbers of a higher order of magnitude than a hundred million are written and spoken in scientific notation. (ie, 1*10^9 or "One times ten to the nine/ninth", or "Ten to the nine/ninth")
-EVERYTHING can ultimately be explained in terms of quantum mechanics.
-There are many things for which a quantum mechanical explanation would be useless and maybe even counter productive.
-Use of some sort of CAD program is an essential life skill. How else are you going to design and order, say for example, custom furnature? Or anything else custom for that matter?
-People brawling in the streets are first warned to move their fight to a "designated conflict resolution center" before being thrown in jail, assuming no one outside the fight has been hurt yet.
-Words end in "er" not "re"
-When chosing among a group of people to fill some sort of job, the closer the "demonstration of merit" is to a direct competition, the better.
-If someone can do the job better than you can, you stand aside.
-All forms of domestic travel are handled by either a personal device or special power.

If you died tonight...

-You would be surrounded by your family and friends if there was any warning.
-You would have at least part of your body, typically your hand, cremated to be kept in a family shrine.
-You would have a wide array of choices in obtaining consumer goods, ranging from going direct to a manufacturer/farmer to going to a retail store.
-It would be much more convenient, but slightly more costly, to go to a retail store.
-You would have your favorite songs playing on continuous loop if you know the end is coming.
-You would own several custom items, and if "familiar with computers," a piece of custom electronics or two.
-You would be unsure if you're merely going to be merely worm food or going to be reunited with the Empress as a citizen in the Eternal Empire.
-You expect things to work. If things don't work, you're expected to know enough to at least attempt a repair without completely breaking it.
-You have probably challenged a politician for his job by political simulation game.

If you're Relorian...


You have a deep-seated belief in freedom and democracy, but you may also have some old-fashioned social beliefs.
Entertainers aren't particularly important to you. Authors, scientists and, to many, fashion designers are far more interesting to you.
You probably know how to play tennis, and swimming is a major competitive sport. Most people know how to swim, and the annual Jealia Open Water Championship is a major event.
Everybody is entitled to five weeks worth of holidays per year, by law, in addition to four national holidays.




If you died tonight...


You're very likely to believe in the Goddess; as far as you are concerned you will be going to the blissful Otherworld to join Her.
If you are religious, women are typically preserved and either buried in a crematorium or sealed in one of the enormous catacombs that each major city maintains. Men, on the other hand, are usually cremated. The few atheists in the country, on the other hand, can do whatever they want -- most donate their bodies to science, some make no plans at all.
'Fast food' never made it to Reloria. You may eat out at restaurants often.
You probably own a telephone and a TV. Your place is heated in the winter and has its own bathroom. You do your laundry in a machine, often at a laundromat. You don't kill your own food. You don't have a dirt floor. You eat at a table, sitting on chairs.
You are likely to be a vegetarian. For those who aren't, it is really only acceptable to eat cows, pigs and a small assortment of poultry. Fish is popular.
'Washrooms' and 'restrooms' are two entirely separate things. Bathing next to your toilet? Bleh!
It seems natural to you that some services are publicly-owned; the rail system, the power grid and the health system all being vital services.
You expect, as a matter of course, that the phones will work. Getting a new phone is routine. Internet connections are fairly standard.
The train system is undergoing radical changes to make it competitive with automobiles; generally trains are regular, clean in every sense of the word, and run on time. Stations are quite common, and you can catch a bus to the nearest station if it is too far to walk.
You find a two-party system natural. Democracy is still new here, and the other parties simply aren't viable or organised. Most are one-policy parties. Even the opposition party, the Conservative Traditionalists, aren't too popular.
Communism isn't universally hated. Very little is universally hated, in fact. It is most often dismissed for practicality reasons, however. You are likely to view a combination of regulated capitalism and common-sense socialism as the 'perfect' blend.
There is very little ethnic diversity in Reloria. Although it is strange to see a non-Relorian wandering the streets, strange enough to notice, you probably wouldn't care all that much -- everybody was created by the same Goddess, after all.
You think most problems could be solved if only people would put aside their prejudices and work together.
The court system is currently being reformed after it was corrupted by the occupying Empires for all those years. It is strong and largely fair now, but you prefer to settle your differences over a glass of wine in a rational manner.
Relorian is the language of choice, but all schools have been teaching English since the country was first occupied, as a matter of practicality.
Although you know English very well, you will rarely use it within the borders of Reloria.
You think a tax level of 30% is ideal. 40% is pushing it a bit, but acceptable.
Primary school, high school, college and university are all free. There cannot be a price on knowledge.
Primary school lasts for six years. High school lasts for ten years. College lasts for two years. University can last from anywhere between two and six years, depending on your course.




Everybody knows that...


Mustard is disgusting. Milk comes in glass bottles and recyclable cartons.
The date is 'proper' -- DD/MM/YYYY.
The decimal point is a dot. Certainly not a comma.
A billion is a thousand times a million.
War is the most obscene thing humanity has ever conceived.
Marriages are deep spiritual and emotional acts, rarely taken lightly. All marriages are performed by priests in Shrines to the Goddess -- there is no government alternative, as marriages receive no government benefits. Marriages are certainly proposed by the woman, not the man. Women can have more than one husband, but most choose not to. It is men who change their surname, and will usually adopt a new title -- instead of 'master' they become 'mister'.
Bisexuality is not uncommon in either gender.
Women can call men and women by their first name. It is frowned upon for men to address women without a title, but they can address other men by their first name.
Female nudity is reserved for the home and the shrine, unless there are no men around. Male nudity is considered 'unpleasant' in most cases.
A hotel room has a private bath.
Foreign movies rarely make it in Reloria. The cultural differences are generally too strong for Relorians to feel connected to them.
You seriously expect to be able to transact business, or deal with the government, without paying bribes.
The private lives of politicians, provided they are legal, remain just that -- private.
Debit cards are the norm and accepted everywhere, but credit cards are also accepted. You will probably prefer to use cash, however.
Companies are under strict employee protection laws. They can fire an employee only for misconduct and inefficiency, both of which must be proved. Redundancies must be proved to be necessary, and redundancy settlements must be provided.
Bacon isn't all that common. Meat portions are small in most meals, if present at all.
Each season is preceded by a religious holiday, which are also granted as national holidays. Carnivals and other festivities usually mark the days.




Contributions to world civilization...


Relorian movies are often critically acclaimed, but rarely are they exported. Musically, a bizarre blend of classical and popular music is popular.
You count on excellent medical treatment. You know you're not going to die of cholera or other Third World diseases. You expect very strong measures to be taken to save very ill babies or people in their eighties. You think dying at 70 would be a tragedy.
Relorian history, the pre-occupation years especially, is a matter of some pride. You will also have in-depth knowledge of the Occupied Years, so you will understand the benefits of freedom.
You expect the military to be defensive in nature. They must answer to democratically-elected politicians such as the Matriarch at all times.
Your country has been conquered three times in succession over the past six centuries, but your culture has remained as strong as it ever was despite this. Now that the country is free once again, it is as though nothing happened.
You're used to a wide variety of choices for almost anything you buy.
Metric measurements are the norm. Few people understand why Imperial measurements remained popular anywhere.
You are not a farmer. Textiles, advanced technologies and most of all, retail industries are the largest employers.
Newspapers are numerous, and national newspapers are valued. The 'big three' are generally regarded to be unbiased and serious, though there are several taboids out there.
The people who appear on the most popular talk shows are mostly politicians, authors and fashion designers. Entertainers do appear, but less frequently.
You drive on the right side of the road. You stop at red lights even if nobody's around. If you're a pedestrian and cars are stopped at a red light, you will fearlessly cross the street in front of them.
You consider the Volkswagen Beetle to be a mid-sized car.
The police are not armed. Neither are the criminals.
The female form was created in the image of the Goddess, and should be revered in any incarnation.
The biggest meal of the day is in the evening.
The cities are largely safe, day and night. Crime is kept low through a combination of welfare, good policing and cultural traits.



Outside the Capital...

You feel that your new democratic government is the best thing since sliced bread, your confidence couldn't be higher. Compared to being occupied by an empire, it is refreshing to think that the leader of your country was put into place by the people of your country.
You wouldn't expect both inflation and unemployment to be very high (say, over 15%) at the same time.
You don't care very much what family someone comes from. Gender, however, is still quite important.
The normal thing, when a couple dies, is for their estate to be divided equally between their children. Inheritance tax does exist, but it is marginal.
You think of opera and ballet as elegant displays of cultural greatness, and will enjoy the opportunity to see them. Ice skating is also popular.
Christmas does not exist. Instead, the first day of every season are considered to be days of great celebration and festivities. Each one has slightly different traditions.
You are aware of the fact that the government deliberately distances itself entirely from the Nalist Order, even to the point of not granting any financial benefits to marriages. This does not change the fact that your local shrine will usually be of great importance to you, although if you are a man you will not be allowed to enter the main areas of the shrine.
You'd be hard pressed to name any figures beyond Relorian borders, simply because your country has been in isolation for the past few centuries.
The preferred method of communication is face-to-face; leaving a message on an answering machine is only socially acceptable if it is work related, or if it is an emergency. You will usually only telephone somebody to arrange a meeting. Letters are highly regarded.
Taxis don't enjoy a lot of popularity in Reloria due to an efficient mass transit system; the few that do exist are generally reliable, honest and know their way around. Mukasus taxis are typically blue, to match the national colours.
You believe that the poor and less fortunate should be provided for, and encouraged to succeed. You believe that health-care is a basic aspect of a modern civilisation, and to privatise it would be uncivilised.
If you want to be a doctor, you need to study at university first.
Lawyers aren't as common as other countries. Typically, you will represent yourself in court.



Space and time

Punctuality is important. Being ten minutes late for an appointment is quite insulting if it is not met with an apology. Regularly being so late for a job is grounds for inefficiency-motivated dismissal.
Physical interaction with other people is quite common. You are mostly comfortable being close to other people, even strangers, and physical contact is not something you consciously avoid. Hugs and kisses, sometimes even intimate kisses, are normal methods of greeting.
A man commenting on a woman's appearance, unless the woman has stated her intentions for him, is considered an insult. Especially if it happens in public. The reverse is perfectly acceptable, however.
Small independent retailers operate in large numbers in open markets in some cities. Haggling is common there.
Friends often visit each other unannounced. A distinct sense of community is present in many areas, and visits are usually welcomed. Close friends are often given keys to your house, as you will trust them quite strongly.
It is normal to be considerate of other people's feelings. Even in debates, insulting other people is very strongly frowned upon. There are also distinct, unofficial social interaction rules that one must follow to avoid causing offence.
If you have a business appointment or interview with someone, you expect to have that person to yourself, and the business shouldn't take more than an hour or so.

If you're Wakenfieldian...

* All Religion is outlawed.
* You're familiar with Jack Cromton, Premier of Wakenfield, Joshua Robinson, head of the war cabin and the Navy, Mark Bobson, head of the WBS (Wakenfieldian Broadcasting Service) and Claire Hartson, head of the WNP (Wakenfieldian Nuclear program)
* You are sure that Jack is your leader.
* There isn't really a national sport, though Cricket is the most popular.
* Five weeks of holidays are normal

If you died tonight...

* You expect that the would be it.
* You wouldn't blame it on fast food, as fast food is outlawed.
* What you own depends on how well you've done education wise.
* You don't consider dogs, cats, monkeys, or insects to be food, as they are unhygenic.
* A bathroom is well equiped.
* It is normal that railroads, the telephone system, internet infrastructure and public transport are run by the government, power stations, which are mostly nuclear, with a dash of hydro and gas, are run by the government
* The train system is good. A train is slightly faster than a car.
* Flying domestically is for those with a good education rating.
* They is only one party
* You are not likely to sue anyone or be sued
* You know a lot of foreign languages, and Wakenfieldian is English mixed with Russian and Icelandic.
* A income tax is 100% is normal, as the government is a meritocracy.
* Education is free, and mandatory.


Everybody knows that

* The date is DD/MM/YY
* Cheese is the national dish.
* The Dutch never killed off the Dodo, as there is one in the garden.
* The Soviets are friends.
* The environment isn't the goverment's priority.

Space and Time

* If you have an appointment, and come five minutes too late, you'll probably get chastered.
* Personal space is almost as bad as it is in England.
* When you negotiate, you are polite, but clear.

If you're Tsarainese ...


You don't believe in "human rights" - the government is there to help you, but intellectually you think sometimes you have to "take one for the team". You'd be upset if it happened to you, though.
If you don't badmouth anyone, nobody will get upset. If you do, of course someone's going to be unhappy with you. There's no excuse for rudeness, after all.
Foreigners don't count in the above; they're all insane, after all.
You know all the rules to Kzetraisha*, and follow your local team religiously. You know someone who's a common-league Kzetraudhanhar (what foreigners would call a coach) and you may be a common-league player yourself ... but you have to book courts for practice sessions weeks in advance.
You think more foreigners should play Kzetraisha, but you wouldn't want the government to fund foreign tours - that's money going out of the country, after all. Can't they see how excellent your sport is and start playing without your help?
Vacation? You're glad your job isn't so stressful that you need it. You expect low working hours and plenty of bonus khoi, though.
You think a lot of problems could be solved if only foreigners would get themselves a proper system of government, like yours.


If you died tonight ...


You might believe in reincarnation or you might not, depending where you are on the spectrum between Rukine and hardline atheist you are. Or if you were some strange religion you might expect something else, but everyone you'd predeceased would talk as if you'd reincarnated.
When you die, the government will harvest your organs and turn the rest of you into fertiliser; you think this is a good thing. You won't need them, after all, and someone else might.
What do you mean, cheap food? It's free! It's also formulated to be non-allergenic to anyone, and to be avaliable in plentiful amounts. This means it's formulated to taste pretty bad, but you don't mind.
Actual cooking is the hobby of people with lots of bonus khoi, a permit, and the foresight to order supplies weeks ahead of time.
Your apartment is wired for fiber-optic visual and audio two-way conversation, as well as about a hundred television channels and computer access. It's nothing special - so is everyone else's.
Two of your friends have Direct Network Interface implants; the third is thinking about getting it.
You know the news is doctored, but you also know a guy who knows a guy who knows a Hacker who can get you real news in between spamming your networks with porn.
Bugs are not food. Neither are dogs, cats, or people. Add fish if you're a hardline Rukine, but good luck finding non-fish food; it's the cheapest sort of meat, which means it's everywhere.
A bathroom definitely has a toilet and a shower, but an actual bath is a rarity. You live in fear of exceeding your water quota; extra water cuts into your bonus khoi.
Of course all the infrastructure is run and owned by the government! You wouldn't trust a corporation, or foreigners, to run things in your interest.
You do trust the government; it's likely you have a family member working in the burecracy, after all, and doesn't that make the government like an extension of your family?
You expect things to work, and to keep working for at least three years. If it doesn't, call a maintenance technician.
You can get anywhere on foot or by train. The trains are fast, clean, and always arrive on time, but they're rather crowded.
You don't own a car. If you're a paramedic, firefighter, or government officer you might drive a government car, but it's not like you own it.
Driving is something which happens in seperate tunnels, mostly directed by computers; the main differences between driving and taking a train is the fact that you can choose where to go, and that you don't have to squash up with other people. Not to mention cars are slower.
Political parties are amusing foreign things. You have the burecracy, and you might sign every second petition which comes around, but you don't expect much to change unless someone high-up dies. Generally you ignore the running of the government, even if you're peripherally involved in it.
On the other hand, you enthusiastically support and follow corruption hearings. The government may occasionally do bad things for the sake of the general populace, but corruption is just evil.
The military doesn't get involved in politics ... in fact they don't really do much of anything. You think they're there mainly to deter crazy foreigners from making them necessary ... but there are enough crazy foreigners nearby to justify them to you.
Everyone has an ethnicity, even if they look, act, and speak the same as all the other ethnicities, and they're all obscurely proud of it. Actually having features in accordance with your ethnicity is a good thing ... but there's no ill-feeling, even if their ancestors did burn and pillage your ancestors' villages twelve hundred years ago.
Exceptions to the above are the Ktrazirha, who are overly proud of the fact that they nearly conquered your ancestors a thousand years ago, and the Amrasenatj, who were quietly annexed by your goverment a few decades ago.
You speak Sekhel, and a little of whatever your ethnic dialect is.
Education is free for all, but you don't expect to be able to study anything really esoteric except informally.


Everybody knows that ...


Mustard comes in a tube, as does shaving cream and peanut butter. Milk comes in throwaway psuedoceramic vacuum flasks.
You refer to strangers as esar or esen depending on their gender; Kuirau esar or Kuirau esen if you want to be respectful, in which case you'll generally add their titles.
Since all the government cares about is who your partner is, they have nothing to do with weddings. You could get married in a temple if you really wanted to, but generally you'll just have a more formal party with speeches.
If a man has sex with another man, it's none of your buisness. If someone has a relationship with more than one person at the same time, though, they're some kind of libertine pervert.
Public nudity is something those crazy Federals do. You suspect they have either no morals or no dress sense.
You expect to be able to do anything you want without bribery. If someone offers or requests a bribe, it's time to call the Subcorps for the Elimination of Corruption.
An administrator cheating on his wife is probably still a capable official, but he's immoral and probably corrupt to boot.
Money exists electronically, on your card. Who wants to carry around coins anyway? You get money only if you exceed your quota, however it's defined - anything below that is paying for government services.
The government will always give you a reason if they fire you ... they'll also rehire you elsewhere. You've heard stories about working for corporations and are glad there aren't any in Tsaraine.
You like your bacon crispy, and preferably served in some way associated with cheese.
Wearing a weapon is a good way to get arrested or shot, unless you've got a card proving you're the head of a Tsakh or Ktrazirha clan, in which case you get to wear the family swords.
Women (and men) are supposed to be tall and thin, but who bothers dieting when everyone has such high metabolic rates?
Everyone wears their hair long, even though it's been centuries since anyone had to contribute it for catapult ropes. People cutting their hair are probably anti-Tsarainese counterculturalists.


Everybody knows that ...


You will arrive at least five minutes early to an appointment. Being late would be unconscionable; you'd be wasting some busy person's time!
If you're talking to someone, you find it uncomfortable if they approach within a meter.
Bargaining over prices is repulsive; it's like implying that somebody's not been honest with their pricing. You don't need to buy the things you need, anyway, only the things you want.
Showing up at somebody's house unannounced and uninvited would be terribly rude; you always call first to make sure it's OK.
As in all things, you must be polite and honest when negotiating. You trust other parties to be honourable enough to bargain fairly, and they should be able to trust you to do the same.


If you're offworld ...


You worry about all the heavily-armed crazy foreigners nearby, especially if you're on Mars.
Your diet consists mostly of fish.
Unless you're on Mars, you probably work for the Star Command. If you're on Mars, you might even work for a foreign corporation - they have agreements with the government so they have to treat you fairly, though.**


If you're extrasolar ...


You arrived here within the last decade, and you're still getting used to having sky overhead.
You eat a lot less fish, and a lot more beef.
You worry about dangerous alien animals.
You still don't own a car, but you do own a bicycle - and you need it, because the trains are less frequent and the cities are more spread out.
Environmentalism isn't some crazy foreign thing - it's common to see petitions about preserving the prehuman environment.
All of a sudden there seem to be a lot of weird little religions. You don't take them very seriously, though.


*Kzetraisha is the national sport of Tsaraine, something like polo played on foot with rackets, or team contact badminton.
**It's obvious that the Tsarainese distrust corporations, as well as foreigners; given that Tsaraine is a command economy, the two are often blurred.

If you're Britmattian :

* You don't think of yourself as "Britmattian". You're a citizen of the Kingdom. There's only one worthy of the name and you live in it.
* You believe in that no matter what lies the UN tells, you're doing pretty good comparative to the rest of civilisation.
* Even so, you still enjoy indulging your right to complain to your liege lord about pretty much anything..
* Freedom of speech is a priviledge, not a right. Anyone abusing it for their own purposes is probably regarded as a bit suspect.
* You play rugby, ice hockey and any other game which allows you to vent stress publicly. Games where no one gets hurt are for weedy foreign types.
* You pay for your liege lord to earn money, which he then spends on your education and healthcare. No one else understands why you constantly complain about his or her stinginess, yet threaten anyone who criticises them.
* You think "vacation" is a dirty heathen concept, and instead substitute various festival-holidays...which happen to fall around various chunks of the year that're good for vacationing.
* You find the idea of discussing religion or politics with people outside of your family/social circle more than a little odd. People who do indulge in this are regarded as amusingly weird varying to downright creepy.
* Nobility as a concept is one you enthusiastically support. You've probably travelled overseas and seen how the rest of the world does it, if you liked it, you stayed. If you came back, well, you probably realised generations of weeding out anyone who couldn't administrate fairly and manouevre the Court adeptly is a pretty good method of ruler selection.
* However, you regard non-merit based selection as a weirdo foreign idea, suitable only for wogs living in places with silly formality and idiotic titles. If they can't rise to the head of the family on their own, how the hell can they look after your interests?

If you died tonight...

* Some sort of priest would turn up, probably more to look after your grieving family than you, you know you've done alright, you're a Britmattian after all.
* Fast food? What's fast food? If you want a rapidly prepared meal you go to a tavern.
* Telephones are what your grandparents used in the Civil War. You've got wetware, nicely subsidised by CentGov.
* The post is delivered by a postman, notable because he's the only person driving a vehicle larger than a sedan. However, all it contains are bills and official letters, so you try to avoid him, shiny uniform or not.
* Food comes from a market, or for Bathamers, from a supermarket, where it's been imported from the south and been doubled in price at that. You buy it anyway, it beats living on reindeer and moss.
* Gardening is soothing but can also be a nice cost-saver.
* You probably tried all sorts of odd foreign foods in your youth, and if you're in the city, still eat them, but if you went back to the deep duchies, you live on meat and mixed greens.
* A bathroom has a bath, a sauna and a shower. Possibly all in the same space. Toilets go out the back of the house, and if you're really rural, outside.
* You take an unhurried attitude to travel. Nearly everyone will be on the bus or train in the cities, cars are for people who need to be somewhere quickly, not the daily grind. If you're in the country, the jeep/horse/ute will probably take you anywhere you need to go.
* If it doesn't work, you should probably hit it harder. Never underestimate the perversity of objects.
* You can choose not to fly domestically. Or you could choose to reach your destination this side of next month.
* Politics is what you have a lord for. If he's not doing his job, you wander down to his seat on a consultation day and let him know in fairly earthy terms. He'll respond or you can go over his head until you hit the King.
* You have a quiet affection for your government, given you're probably related to at least one of the noble families. The military probably paid for your education, so your duty-orientated mindset likes them too. Still, it doesn't hurt to remind them they need you too.
* If you don't want to earn citizenship via service, don't. It saves the local authorities money not paying for your education or healthcare. And the taking your children into care doesn't really bother them either.
* Racial slurs are descriptive. You have a grudging respect for some foreign nations. Ethnic differences are pretty much ignored, apart from the occassional argument between friends.
* You think most problems could be solved if those in charge used more stick and less carrot.
* Laws are serious, so are their penalties. Frivolous law suits will probably get you laughed out of court.
* You speak Multiversal, high-school standard Latin and whatever other ethnic tongues you've picked up/are important locally. If you're in the aristocracy you speak all of the Kingdom's languages and have done since your early childhood.
* You know what you consider taxes would mystify most. This is a matter of quiet national amusement.
* The UN is a heathen foreign institution dominated by communists and the lopears. That these two don't get along at all never occurs to you, you know the UN is commie and you don't like them at all.
* Education is free, it bloody ought to be considering how much you pay in tithes for the lord to send to his Clan to invest to earn money to pay for education and healthcare.


Everybody knows that

* Nothing comes in damn aerosol cans. They've been banned since the incident with the last Earl of London and Durotai Warwick's slingshot.
* Plastic containers? What're you, some kind of retro freak? We use disposable crumbleglass imported from Tsaraine.
* The date is "On this day, this month, in this year of our creator"
* Decimal points indicate exactly that, a bloody decimal. Figures in the thousands have commas and that's that.
* Any other maths make you vaguely uncomfortable and hand the problem onto your dwarvish neighbours.
* You are Goodman/woman or Mistress/Master $Lastname. Unless you're of the aristocracy, in which case you could be any number of titles.
* Marriage happens. The government has nothing to do with it.
* If a man has sex with another man, he is a homosexual and you probably could not possibly care less unless you're one of those immigrant weirdos who protest outside the Spire and provide occasional practice in crowd dispersal for the Queen's Own.
* It's almost never hot outside, but if you want to chance frostbite, you're welcome to do so.
* Foreign culture is fairly interesting, but the traditional criticism is "weirdo sodding foreigners." Reich propaganda films are regarded as the most hilarious things possible.
* If anyone offers you a bribe you take the money. Then you report him to your supervisor and carry on, probably enjoying his look of shock and horror when the red and blues arrive and take him away.
* A politician cheating on his wife is his business. If it's a problem, his boss will step in.
* Money is completely electronic and has been since the counterfeiting issues during the Civil War.
* Banks are kept a very vigourous eye on by the Bureau of Internal Observation, any profiteering is slapped down.
* A company can fire anyone for any reason... but is very answerable to the local Lord. Corporate life in the Kingdom has been remarkably restrained since the previous head of Kipling Massiv Industries was beheaded for treason and general misbehaviour.
* You like your bacon in any shape or form. Pig is pig.
* You wear a melee weapon from fourteen on and carry some form of bow from even younger. Handguns are for sissy foreigners.
* You'll probably never use the melee weapon, but you're very good with it anyway.
* You're better with the bow, but that's not a weapon, it's like your wallet or your keys, you don't leave home without it.

Space and Time

* Punctuality is only a big deal if it's necessary. Mostly timekeeping works on a "close enough" system. Clocks are for uptight foreigners.
* How close you get to your fellows depends on your home duchy, but most of the population feel ok at half a metre. Touching is for friends and relatives and those damned grabby Gaullois in Birmingham.
* You point with your index and middle finger.
* You argue over prices to fill in time, but only at a personal level. If you're dealing with a chain, it's too much effort.
* You probably see your friends and family enough that visiting is more formalised, an outgrowth of not wanting to eat peoples' food reserves in tough times.
* When you negotiate, you are generally as truthful as possible, except if you're from Birmingham Duchy. This is why they deal with most international commerce and diplomacy.
* Your day pretty much ignores clocks You get up when it's light and go home when it starts to get dark, allowing for seasonal variation.
* You are as close as possible to a caricature of an "Internationalist Isolationist."

If you're a Hacker...


First of all, you get pissed when people call you a Hackian...
You take human rights for granted. There's not really anybody to take them away from you, so you don't much think about them.
On the other hand, everyone else had better keep their grubby fingers off your stuff. Property rights are not taken for granted.
You aren't sure what's wrong with everyone else, but you're a big fan of baseball. You've probably never been to a game, but you certainly make time to watch the tape from last night's game.
Vacations rather depend on how important you are. If you head a corporation, you get as much as you want. If you vacuum out port-a-potties? Well... you'll probably get a week.


If you died tonight ...


Well, you might get representative from one of The Big Three monotheistic religions, but you might also just get some creepy guy in a black robe lighting a disturbingly black candle for you. Depending on your beliefs, you'll go to Heaven/Hell/Cthulhu's Stomach.
When you die, your relatives will (probably) sell your organs to the nearest hospital, donate your body to the nearest medical school, or have your body rendered into oil or compressed into a diamond. Some people still do that burial or cremation deal, but they're "quaint".
McDonalds doesn't exist, you weirdo. You go to Hackburger.
For fine dining, you have numerous choices, including (oddly enough) certain outlets of Hackburger. There are, of course, numerous nice restaurants to choose from depending on your dining style: clothing mandated, clothing optional, nudity mandated (single sex and mixed sex options exist for the last two).
If you want to cook at home, go for it. Restaurants are either for nice occations or a quick bite to eat. Consequently, the supermarket is your friend, and home delivery more so.
Video phone? Holographic displays? Virtual reality? Unless you're in the bowels of the Warrens or sleeping in a coffin, you've got all that stuff.
Biometrics are exceedingly common. Credit cards are "quaint". Physical currency is "that stuff they use up north."
Direct connection to the Neural Network is increasingly common, as are wireless plugs for the back of your neck. You've heard they're thinking of making marquee displays that superimpose images over your field of vision are coming soon. And you can't wait.
You trust Chiba City News and know that North Hack News is a trashy rag. That said, North Hack News is much more fun and the one you enjoy reading. Especially after their offices "accidentally" get firebombed.
You're willing to try most any kind of food these days. You used to think that bugs weren't food, but then you started dating that cute Segonune, and realised that yes, bugs are food.
A bathroom has a toilet, sink, mirror, shower-and-tub, flat screen television, phone (not video, perv), and quite possibly an attached full-body drying unit; fur is such a pain to dry with towels.
The government doesn't own a damn thing aside from a staggering number of patents. Which are classified. Actually, you're not quite sure how all that works out, but it does.
You trust the government, you guess. I mean, when was the last time you interacted with it at all?
You expect things to "work" when you buy them. After fiddling with it, it will either truly work, or need to be replaced.
You could probably walk, but it's usually too cold. You take whatever method is easiest and probably cheapest. If that means parachuting, you'd consider it. You might consider it anyway, now that you think about it.
You probably own a car unless you're poor or something. It's sleek, sexy, and floaty.
Driving is something that takes a lot of training these days, what with the multi-level travel lanes. Luckily, you can let the car drive itself. Consequently, some cars are more like flying couches or beds then actual cars.
Political parties? What are those?
The military?
Nobody cares about ethnicity. What difference does it make if you're white and the other guy is black when that dude over there is eleven feet tall, covered in fur, and able to throw a car through your front window? Couple that with the fact that he's dating a Naga, and suddenly the color of your skin doesn't much matter.
You speak English, or common, or whatever those crazy kids are calling it these days. You probably also know some other language you've picked up, as well as a couple programming languages. If you're exceptional, you know Xothic.
Education, now that you think about it, is something the Oligarchy provides. Schooling before college is free (private is expensive, and better) and you can get a loan for college.


Everybody knows that ...


Mustard, shaving cream and peanut butter come in whatever is most convenient, depending on size.. Milk comes plastic jugs or bottles. Who cares about garbage? That's what the sun's for.
The date is written thusly: YYYYMMDD, ie: 20060221. Spaces just waste space.
It's called a decimal point and not a "decimal comma" for a reason you know.
"Milliards" is a mispelling of a type of duck, you long-number using freak.
The government doesn't give a rip about who you marry unless someone changes their name. Marriage is a civil affair, so find a priest or something..
If a man has sex with another man, nobody cares. Unless, you know, they're doing it in the middle of Hackburger.
Public nudity is just fine unless it's too cold out, in which case you've got a nice, heavy longcoat. Of course, you don't act like a jerk about it. If someone's uncomfortable, you put the coat back on.
You don't bribe. You offer monetary incentive.
An administrator cheating on his wife is probably just out with a co-wife and is being accused of something by some uptight idiot.
Money exists electronically. As mentioned before, cards are quaint and can be stolen. Your money is tied to your thumb print.
While you can be fired for most any reason, you probably won't be unless you fuck up or try to form a union.
You like your bacon on your Hackburger. Or most any other way. It's good stuff.
Carrying a gun is pretty common, what with GMC's mandatory conceal carry. It kinda bleeds over.


Time and Space...


You're usually early. Not out of some sense of duty, but you figure that if you're consistant early, people will forgive you that time you oversleep and are two hours late.
You like your space. About 3 feet is good.
Haggling is for grubby people at flea markets. Proper people pay whatever the list price is and then tip if the clerk was helpful.
Showing up at somebody's house unannounced and uninvited is reasonably common. Just don't be surprized if you're told to bug off because they're busy.

If you're Angstian...


You believe in... Actually, you don't really believe in anything. There are statistical probabilities, though.
You're familiar with very little - But the things you are familiar with, you know in every detail, crossing the border to voyeurism
Sports? What's that?
Technically, you can rant your brains' processing capacities, and live year-long vacations - But if you want a decent standard of living, you tend to go with less

If you died tonight...


You don't really believe in a god (Exceptions prove the rule), but as your mindstate-backup is going to be activated, the afterlife doesn't matter, anyway - You'll live in the present
You don't touch 'Cheap' food. Food is either expensive or not good enough
This is true for everything else, too. Including your networking implants and the wiring in your apartment
Everything can be food - But there's no need to prove this
Especially when you're a drone
Technically, everything is 'Private'. Including the government. Which means that everything is the government. They're doing courses about the system and how it works at University - Usually they're saying that it doesn't
You don't expect the phone to work. After all, it's an antique artifact. Your implants on the other hand...
Trains are wonderful (But crowded) - Cars aren't really useful in the megacities. And if the trains aren't as good as you thought, well, where else would you go for transport?
Everybody considers him/her/itself a political party, and everybody voices his or her (Or its) opinion about just about everything - Constantly, audibly, and considerably angry or outright insulting
Socialism is silly. oddly enough, your nation has a pseudo-socialist touch. Nobody really knows why, or how, though
Ethnicity is notable, but nobody really cares. Now, the drow a kilometre underground are creepy...
Problems shouldn't be solved. If someone solved them, you wouldn't have anything to complain about
Courts?
You speak three different dialects of modern Angstian, at least one form of classical Angstian (But rarely all three: They were subjugated by your ancestors and their language and culture assimilated, no need to learn this loosers' cultural herit- Wait, a fourth of you IS native Angstian... Damnit), there's a good chance that you're also speaking Latin, English, German, French and Japanese, maybe even Russian and Chinese
But the latter six are usually 'spoken' in a corrupted form, and native speakers would have serious issues understanding you
School can be free (except if your parents want to pay) and not particularly taxing
University can also be free, tends to be three or six years long, and isn't particularly taxing, either

Everybody knows that


Mustard, shaving cream and milk come in whatever pleases them
Whatever they may come it, it's likely to have LED displays and a smallish computer included. It's shiny
Some people count the date in seconds-since-refounding... And it's annoying when they ask for you to show up at 2603448000
There are no decimal point. If you can't read a number without this kind of assistance, you're beyond help
A billion is the cubic root of 1e27
You wonder why your nation always ends up supporting the wrong side in a war - Ienotheisa, Knootoss...
Marriage is a personal choice - But can become fairly complex when it's the choice of three women, two men, and a drone
If a man has sex with another man, he's probably bisexual - Hardly unusual
If you're a woman, you wouldn't mind beign topless - Nor would anyone else - but the weather suggests wearing a coat as the better option
All films that aren't in your native language a subtitled - dubs suck. However, it's generally considered bad taste when you don't learn the language the film's in before watching
The UN claims that there's as good as no corruption whatsoever in your country - Clearly, the UN's corrupt, too
Politicians don't cheat on their wifes - You research the public opinion
Frequently
Oddly enough, you love physical currency. It has style, character, and everything computerised money transfers don't
Of course everybody can be fired at will - But usually people just leave on their own
You love mindstate-altering devices

Contributions to World Civilisation


History is... Complex. It's to be expected, given 100000 nations and fractal reality
The military is involved in politics. This is alright, they're citizens.
The military is also full of pacifists. Britmattians call them 'Disgustingly Neutral'
In turn, you call them Britmattians, not Kingdomers
The military is also into non-lethal warfare. Killing people is bad
Except when they're shooting Thelasi, Tannelornii, and the likes
Your country has been conquered so often, going through Angstian history at school is depressing
Of course, there's a good chance that you're partially descendant of the conquerors. Makes it less depressing
You buy everything you can. Saving money is stupid - The inflation would kill it. Besides, you can always 'Make' money. Hence the inflation
Why the hell the economy works regardless is beyond mortal understanding
The metric system is the only system. Though some freaks advocate adopting Planck Units...
Comics are surprisingly popular, despite their 'Vintage' feeling (2D...) - They're also considered literature
Talk shows? Unextant. If eople are interested in you, you might run a real-time vidfeed blog or something
You're unlikely to drive a car. You either walk, use the train, or transfer your mindstate
As a result, pedestrians live a wonderful life of unthreatened 'I walk wherever I want'-ness
You think of your fellow Sisgardians as either hippies, creepy, or feudal backwaters and wonder why they don't join your culture
Well, the pesticide levels might have something to do with it...
You consider cars valuable and very neat - You just don't have one. Computers are more important
Police?
Woman tend to look good. So do men. Also, surgeons tend to make fortunes
The biggest meal of the day tends to be at midnight - You like to sleep during the day
It doesn't make much of a difference, though. All the clouds...
There is no nationality people don't make jokes about
You can go everywhere without fearing to be robbed. The city's safe
Well, you might be robbed, but it'll be a teeny hacking into your bank account. White collar crime isn't a crime, though - It's an art
You forgive the teeny after stealing your money back

If you're off-world


You're lonely - There are very few people with you
Which is why you really don't have much to say
Except if you're a shipmind - Then you make big politics
... Without having the necessary skills for it

Space and Time


You may be late, or you may be early - You'll never be there in time, though. That'd be creepy
If you're talking to someone, you're surprised when they're closer than a hundred kilometres
This is because you've issues socialising, the closer the person in question is
Bargaining is an art
Or utterly pointless, depending on who raised you
You've no problems when someone shows up uninvited - Except that you've socialisation issues when they're that close to you
You're very polite when negotiating - If you're negotiating with foreigners

If you're Sarzonian...

Your idea of "extreme right wing" passes for centrist in many other countries.
You most likely consider anti-homosexual genocide a legitimate reason to invade another country.
Your country's reactionary politics are considered par for the course.
You consider the word "surrender" a profanity.
You think the consumption of lima beans is covered under "cruel and unusual punishment" in the U.S. Constitution.
You can't remember the last time you forgave someone.


If you died tonight...

You don't believe in an afterlife, so as far as you're concerned, death is a black void.
Desktop computers are for the very poor. If you're over 10, you have a laptop.
If you ground your kid, you have to take away his television, his mobile phone, and his laptop.
Using dialup is considered a common low level punishment.
You think the age of consent should be lowered from 18, but the government refuses to because that would mean the age of majority would be lowered with it.
You hope you're never convicted of a capital offence because you know you'll forfeit your voting rights if you do.
You're born with a love of the sea and bedtime stories include the old sailor's yarns of long-ago conquests and recent naval victories.
You still think Sarzonia's 5-2 loss to Legalese in World Cup XVIII qualifying was bull[expletive].

Everybody knows that...

It's not "football," it's "gridball." And it's not "soccer," it's "football."
There are no women's sports leagues in Sarzonia because women and men play on the same teams.
Hugging someone in public is license for anyone to yell "get a room!"
Military history is a separate subject from general history.
Badmouthing Stevie Nicks in front of the President can get you in serious trouble.
Burning a flag is protected by statute.
You are fully aware of what the musical references in your nation's capital mean.

Time and space...

Punctuality is considered expected. Being late is considered rude.
Standing too close to someone is considered rude.
Employees are expected to not work at home or stay past their work hours unless they have cleared their overtime with their boss.
The academic year in Sarzonia runs from August through June. July is the month for holidays.
Workers are given a minimum of four weeks of vacation time with the chance to earn up to two months off with good behaviour.

If you are Vegan

- You are not sure what ethnicity you actually are. Most true Vegans are a mixture of many different races.
- You believe in the Prince, even though he now calls himself Presidente Commandante
- You grow up with a basketball in your hands, but those crazy people that kick around that other ball are becoming almost as crazy about their sport.
- You also know that one day skateboarding will pass both as the largest sport. Some crazy idiot in te goverment keeps commissioning new skateparks.
- You are extremely competitive and anything can be viewed as a competition.
- You know the Sea Dragon as a national icon. And one day you might be able to afford it in your favorite restaraunt.
- You can soeak at least 3 languages. Mostly due to neccessity.

If you died tonight

- All your friends would throw you a farewell party, get drunk, and pour tons of beer down your throat.
- You would hope that you chose to follow the right religion of the 500+ practiced in the nation
- Your wife/husband would spend the night with your best friend to show what you meant to each of them.

Everybody Knows

- Anumia,Cuation, and Hypocria are respected as international brothers.
- Spaam is consider a slanderous insult.
- The language is very complex and until recently, thought to be unique. Now most people are awaiting results from Vegan and Starblaydi linguists as to the possible connection of their languages
- If you are from Qazox or Green Wombat, you probably would get thrown to the Sea Dragons unless you managed to coexist peacefully - or at least with civility.

(OOC: Well this looks like a good way to introduce my new nation, so ...)

If you're Ecclesian ...


Church and state are one and the same entity to you (the Ecclesia), and you wouldn't understand why anyone would want them separated or how such a thing might be accomplished.
You've spent more time in law courts, payed more fines, and signed more contracts than you can count.
You know that rigid application of the law is the cornerstone of a stable society, but you still try to bend it in your favor at every opportunity.
You would have difficulty explaining clearly what your religion is all about, but you feel that you understand it intuitively.
You probably live adjacent to a plaza surrounding a 40-foot statue of a saint who you revere despite not knowing his name or his story, and yet never favor the thing with a second glance while going about your daily business.
You don't own a telephone or television, though you may own or have access to a radio.
Your home is made in a crumbling, ancient, enormous stone structure the original purpose of which is long forgotten, and your plumbing and electricity are either unreliable or nonexistent.
You travel by foot or on a cart drawn by horse, ox, or mule.
You are illiterate, unless a member of the clergy or one of their upper servants.
Though you have likely never encountered a foreigner, you would be accommodating and tolerant of the ways of any who belonged to the Ecclesia so long as they obeyed its laws, and would shun any who did not belong albeit without animosity.
You spend as much time in church services and in court as you do working (probably either at a trade or in a mine or factory), and between the two have time for little else.


If you died tonight ...


You would be attended by a high-ranking prelate who would perform lengthy, elaborate, and expensive dying rites in an unfathomably ancient tongue that neither you nor he could translate, but the meaning of the ceremony would be generally understood.
You would be dreading the possibility of your soul passing into the Realm of Light, where there is no physical existence or individuality, where time has no meaning, and where all is distilled into its purest ideal form, as this would be a dreadfully boring place to spend eternity.
You would be fervently hoping and praying that the rites would bind your soul to the earthly Realm of Shadow, so that you might retain your self-awareness and get some vicarious thrills watching the living do their collective thing.
You would have a great deal of debt to the Ecclesia, and would expect your wandering soul to be called back to service to help work it off at some point in your afterlife.
Your body would be embalmed and preserved in the catacombs beneath one of Ecclesia's cathedrals, though your organs might be removed beforehand and sold to someone who needed them more.


Everybody knows that ...


Possession is nine-tenths of the law.
The law is sacred.
Shaving cream and condiments are luxuries only the clergy can afford.
The date is "the Xth day of the Xth month of the Xth year of the beneficent ministry of the Holy Synod in Ecclesia Legis".
Decimals are unnecessary because it is only proper to spell numbers out in full.
Sex in any form is always morally acceptable and legal, so long all parties are consenting adults.
The main purpose of marriage is economic or social advancement, and those who neglect such considerations to marry for love are likely condemning themselves and their unfortunate progeny to lives of indentured servitude.
Money is for paying tithes, fines, or fees and greasing palms; barter is usually more efficient for any other purposes.


Contributions to world civilization:


The sprawling city (which also comprises the state) of Ecclesia, seeming to consist of nothing but magnificent cathedrals, monuments, and plazas, though many have fallen into disrepair: With architecture ranging from megalithic to Roman to gothic to baroque, it is of great interest to those archaeologists and historians who can tolerate its oppressive gloominess, eery silence and that constant sense of being watched.
An apparently indecipherable language which may be among the oldest in the world, preserved in sacred texts and spoken by Ecclesian priests in some special services.
A religion the actual doctrine of which remains a complete mystery to the uninitiated, and, some speculate, to its members as well. The Ecclesian faith is known to be very, very old and is speculated to have become so warped over the ages that nothing of its original teachings remain, save for those fragments of scripture written in an alphabet which most scholars hold to be unreadable even to its highest-ranking clerics. The Ecclesians insist that this is not the case, but are also completely unwilling to give the details necessary to support their claims: Truly, one of history's compelling enigmas.
Some of the world's best lawyers, who generally find foreign legal systems to be childishly simple after learning to navigate the immensely (and probably unnecessarily) labyrinthine Ecclesian law codes.

If you are Menelmacari...

Your ears are most likely pointy, and you wouldn't have it any other way.
You're likely over a thousand years old, possibly much older, and don't expect to die anytime soon.
You probably enjoy hunting, swordplay, archery, and skiing, and most 'outdoor' pursuits. If you're camping out you'll bring most of the comforts of home, though. You probably enjoy watching American football, particularly if you're younger, but aren't overly likely to have actually played it.
You enjoy artistic pursuits and have some natural talent at least one sort of them. Particularly popular are music (especially song), painting, crafting of just about any sort, and gardening.
You've got at least some rudimentary skill at magic, and possibly much more. Technology seems to be more effective in many respects, though.
You have a robust respect for the Elentári but don't quite get why billions of foreigners worship her as a goddess. Still, you're not going to complain about it.
You've got a wide range of freedoms guaranteed by the government but see no particular pressing need to write them down in a constitution.
You believe freedom of speech includes the freedom to say "You're a dumbass." or "Your god is insane." You'll usually try to be polite about it, but some things just need to be said.
You know the world you live in has walls, and the walls have to be guarded by elves with guns. It's a fact, and the people who disagree can shut up or stand a post.
Freedom of speech beats freedom of religion.
You can count on three to six weeks of vacation a year but don't particularly expect to be paid for the time.
You've got a comm and a holoprojector and most likely several of each.
Your home is air-conditioned and heated, but you don't particularly need either.
Your comm also serves as a PDA, music player, GPS, holocam, and video screen. The notion of buying all those things separately is pretty backwards.
Laundry's done in a machine by a foreigner.
You don't kill your own food, weekend hunting expeditions excepted.
A bathroom will have a toilet and a sink but not necessarily a bathtub - though there will certainly be at least one bathtub and shower in your house. You probably have a sauna and hot tub, but they're not in the bathroom.
The comm system works as a matter of course, and offers ridiculous bandwidth. Getting a new comm is routine.
You've worked in a score of different fields, and took years off between careers.
You know what a political party is, but have little use for them.
Defending socialism is a really great way to lose all credibility, really fast. Communists are openly mocked, and the number of people that openly admit to being one can probably be counted on the fingers.
You're not especially offended by supposedly derogatory terms like 'tinkly', 'lopear' and 'sharp-ear'. You're supremely confident in the knowledge you're better in every way than the people insecure enough to use them.
You don't much care about 'black' and 'white', though pretty much everyone you know is closer to the latter.
You think most problems could be solved if your people were running everything, but in foreign company you'll usually keep that to yourself.
You can speak Quenya, English, and Sindarin and probably several other languages as well. You're good at learning them.
You say 'my lord' or 'my lady' where most foreigners would say 'sir' or 'maam'.
You can protest policies you don't like. As long as you're not harassing anyone or blocking traffic.
You feel safe pretty much anywhere in town. Crime is low and the plaspistol in your pocket doesn't hurt.

If you died tonight...

It would have been accidental or, unlikely but possible, violence.
You know you'll be back at some point anyway.

Everybody knows that...

Ketchup, mustard, and anything else goopy come in squeeze bottles, usually with shapes, detailing, and colors elegant enough that humans would think they'd look good on the mantelpiece.
Anything worth making is worth making pretty, and anything worth doing is an art.
The years are counted from founding, and are coming up on thirty-two thousand.
The date comes first. 47 Yávië 31862.
There are six months in the year, each with either 54 or 72 days. New Year's is in the springtime. Leap years are every 12 years and add three days.
There are words in the language for counting in base twelve, but nobody actually does it anymore.
A billion is a thousand times a million, and Knootians look silly when they claim otherwise.
Your rights end where the other guy's begin.
It's best to buy domestic, even if it's more expensive. Menelmacari products are light, durable, elegant, easy to use, and can be relied on not to break.
You can throw stuff away on the rare occasions it does break. Most everything can be dismantled, broken down to its source materials, and recycled. The very few things that can't are typically just loaded on a freighter and dropped into a random gas giant.
It's normal for both genders to have long hair and wear robes, though neither is universal.
Police have many of the same guns the army does, but rarely needs to use them.
Hate crimes are a stupid notion. A crime is a crime regardless of the motivation behind it.
The United Nations is not to be trusted, and should be viewed with derision, suspicion, and contempt.
Menelmacar votes in the UN through VUNO but is not itself a member. UN resolutions are, at best, the fodder of late-night comedy shows.
What few taxes there are are not to be viewed as the government's money. It's the people's money, in trust.
It's illegal to lie in a documentary. Politically motivated films should be labeled as such. The pertinent laws are termed the 'Moore Statutes', after the first fellow prosecuted under them.

Contributions to world civilization:

Two words: Flying ships.
Pretty much every building is attractively constructed and ladnscaped, and possibly even palatial. Even if it's a sewage treatment plant.
You were taught how to use a sword and fire a gun in school. If you're not in the military, you're still at least decently skilled at both, but don't generally delude yourself into thinking that makes you a soldier.
The government isn't in the marriage business. Marriages are for love and never arranged.
Premarital sex was unknown until relatively recently.
Your country has never been conquered, and a few thousand gravitic warships stand in the way of anyone foolish enough to try.
You're used to vast product choice; with pretty much every sort of product, though, there's at least one brand manufactured by Fëanor Holdings Group.
The government pays for defense, infrastructure, education, and little else.
You probably didn't pay for school until after you had your first degree. Now you've got, on average, half a dozen of the things, likely in wildly disparate fields of study.

Outside the Pelóri...

McDonald's is freakin' nasty. Porkwich's... now that's good fast food.
You're pretty confident the government both has your best interests in mind and will listen to your concerns. Perhaps this is because the government, likewise, trusts you to have your own best interests in mind and make competent decisions accordingly, without the need for onerous regulation of most things.
You can get fired for just about any conceivable reason, but if it wasn't because of your performance you'll get paid for half a year or until you find another job, whichever comes first.
Inflation and unemployment are usually both pretty low.
You don't much care what family someone comes from. You do, however, respect nobility.
Taxis are operated by foreigners, who also tend to sweep the streets, work the fields, clean your house, and mow the lawns.
Tall, slender forms are most pleasing to the eye. Long hair is a turn-on, provided it's well-kept. Still, pretty much everyone looks good.
You can sue someone but doing so frivolously will get you laughed out of court and sent home with the other guy's legal bills.
You'll arrive at an appointment five minutes early. Interruptions on either side are usually considered rude.
Most products have set prices... you can haggle for most things, but in most cases, particularly smaller purchases, it might not be worth bothering over.

Well, Siri covered a lot of points. Most of them apply equally to me, so I'll cut it down to the ones that aren't covered.
If you're a Necrontyr citizen...

You believe deep down that there is such a thing as 'evil' or close enough and it must be fought.
You're familiar with a whole host of celebrities who've never been covered in any OOC detail. Do I look like I have that kind of time? Well, do I?
You don't know very many sports. They certainly vary depending on preference.
You consider public protest to be a pointless excuse to go out in the cold and look like an idiot. You are a legislator, after all.

If you died tonight...

You'd be totally astounded. And one way or another, you'll be back.
If you're a necron, you'll not be as astounded, but will be plotting immediate revenge on those who killed you last time.
Donating your body to medical science seems perverse - what could you possibly have that isn't known about already?
If you're actually a necrontyr, your body is probably going to be compressed into a diamond or some other gemstone, and archived on your homeworld's catacombs.
Where there are quadrillions more, from past generations.
No matter who you are, you expect the event to make the national press. And to be avenged where appropriate.
You eat out a hell of a lot, but usually at smaller non-chain-restauraunts.
You have all sorts of internal augmentations for communications.
And don't consider them remotely special. Or even use them all that much. Tactile feedback's fun.
Such implants are rarely replaced. They're designed to run for hundreds of millennia.
You have various vehicles, but rarely use them.
You are astonished when an 'electronic' device breaks. Chances are, it's never happened to you.
You think a political party is temporary. And elect your senators based on their membership of two dozen parties.
Human races are a waste of time. They're either citzens or inferiors.
You take a strong court system for granted, even if you don't use it.
If someone 'deserves the death penalty' then giving them it would be going easy on them. A few millennia imprisonment, on the other hand, is far more dissuasive.
If you want to learn a language the easy way, it takes seconds.
And if you're a necron, you'll probably find you're already able to speak it.

Everybody knows that

The date is a truly messed up thing. Technically the year's something like: B320, or even, 612,283,294.
Billions and millions are annoying, stupid foreigners. You count in a non english language to avoid that nonsense instead.
Anyone who claims to know how many warships the nation has is probably lying. Most people think it's around one hundred and fifty.
Marriages are a matter of personal prefence. Ceremonies, fidelity, and numbers are optional.
If a man has sex with another man, he's normal. Hasn't everyone tried it at least once?
If a man says he'd categorically refuse to have sex with another man, he's some sort of weirdo.
Mephet'ran's fairly nice, and can be contacted easily. Asirnoth's a lunatic who lives on Venus and spends all his times building things that go bang in new and original ways. It's hellish trying to get to talk to him.
If you're a necrontyr, it's cold out. It's always cold out.
You seriously expect to be able to transact business, or deal with the government, without paying bribes. On the other hand, you're not surprised if employees use company/government funds for private ends. In moderation, it's a perk of the job.
If a politican has been cheating on his wife, she's probably 'cheating' on him too. They probably share partners too.

Contributions to world civilization

None. We import the culture of others. They rarely take after us.
You count on excellent medical treatment. You know you're not going to die. You think dying would be a tragedy, or at least a pain in the ass.
You know very little necrontyr history beyond a few centuries back. This is because, after that, there's far too much of it to learn, so you just skip to the amusing bits.
You expect the military to fight wars, and get worried if it goes too long without winning one. After all, that's what they're there for, if they're not destroying something, or preparing to, they're being lazy.
You can leave your door open at night and not worry in the slightest.

Other:

You think that religion's kind of quaint. Unless you're an elf, you're probably some shade of atheist.
If you have an appointment, you're mostly punctual or early. It doesn't do your image any good to be late.

If you're Kajali...

You believe in two finite figures - Iu and Solus - as well as a third, undefined entity that keeps the two from breaking the universe.
Your ears are pointier than a human's but less so than the Menelmacari.
You are probably at least two hundred years old.
You are quite fond of night clubs and pulsating dance music. So much so, in fact, that it's probably one of the few reasons you leave your home.
You spend several hours a day working out to stay in shape before practicing dance moves to impress the other people at the clubs.
After impressing the other people at the clubs, you usually wind up in bed with three other people, regardless of gender.
Magic is not something you are particularly knowledgeable or interested in.
Telepathy and Telekinesis are something you are interested in, but those aren't 'magic'.
Your head of state is the Imperatrix, but the nation is run by a parliamentary democracy, and you don't see anything odd about this.
Freedoms are something the government only recently thought you should have.
Your home does not have any sort of heating apparatus at all. That's what the sun's for.
Your home does have a rather powerful air conditioning unit, though you never use it.
Vacation time? You never work weekends. Heck, sometimes you never _work_.
Politics is the realm of supermodels and porn stars.
A bathroom will have a toilet, sink, and shower. Bathtubs are indulgent.
You speak at least three dialects of Riikan, as well as English and possibly Necrontyr. You find Quenya overly dramatic.
Currency is issued in paper and coin form, but it's all just a pretty coating over a boring credit chit.
Arabic numerals? Riikan numbers look like _sentences_, and convey positional data in 4 dimensions.

If you died tonight...

You'd probably have been in orbit over Mars.
You wouldn't particularly expect to be reincarnated.
Your body would be cremated, or donated to science, but most definitely not made into snack food.

Everybody knows that...

Ketchup, and mustard are what Laediv call 'condiments.' You don't particularly care for either.
Laediv are usually humans, but the term applies to anyone from Sol.
Sol would not be particularly interesting if it wasn't so militarized.
Anything worth making is worth making fast. Anything worth making fast is worth making fun.
You have a personal shuttle that has an average cruising speed of mach five in atmosphere, before the gravitics kick in.
Gravitics is a fancy term to describe repulsorlift, which is something that you've had on your car for centuries.
Your car is almost as old as you are.
The years are counted either from the founding of the Imperium, or from Federation, and neither have exceeded 1000 yet.
Federation occurred on Sansu Celay. The current date is Cela Dan.
There are eight months, each with 39 days and three hours.
New Years is New Years, but it happens sometime in the Laediv summer period.
Internal Security has needlers, and no one wants to be on the business end of one of those.
The UN is simply not something you know of.
The Kajali Navy is far larger than it could ever reasonably need to be.
IRC is often frequented by the minds of warships between assignments, and trigger happy would be an understatement.
SYSNET is the brainchild of an insane dead man, but you're happy to have it. Even if it does cost a fortune in maintenance.

Contributions to World Civilization...

SYSNET has evolved into something of a toned down version of GLONET, and the actual defensive platforms comprising it have become largely unimportant.
Nightclubs. They're only a little odder than what would result from marrying Japan to Madonna.

Space and Time...

You're only on time if you have a license to kill. Usually this also means that your 'body' is a warship several hundred meters long. Otherwise, you're up to half an hour late or early all the time.
Appointments are made by defining the hour within which you're expected to show up, with the actual appointment time in the middle.
Personal space is something for foreigners. Most of the time when you're out at a club you'd be 'intimate' with at least two other people, regardless of gender.
Haggling is something that only Solannans do, since they don't use proper currency for some odd reason.
The Aumanii are always in more places than you think they should be.

If you're a Freethinker

• You believe in the constitution but know that it is subject to change as the world itself changes. You have more faith in the public plebiscite.
• Freedom of speech and assumption of innocence in trial by your peers are your core values. You also severely oppose the death penalty and view any state retaining it as uncivilised.
• You play football by international rules; you also know the basic workings or hockey, rugby and cricket. You also know how duels work in the vampire community and have watched a fair few of them. You know the domestic leagues and teams suck quite badly.
• You’ve been legally able to smoke, take drugs, drink, have sex and drive a car since the age of sixteen. You will most likely do all of these things within a short period of time.
• You won’t usually have a religious denomination, instead you generally think its impossible to know the unknowable.
• You expect six weeks of vacation time a year as a minimum, plus a generous allowance for travelling.
• You spent two years of your life in the military doing National Service, though you probably only fired a gun once and spent most of the time jerking around the barracks after the eight weeks of hell that was basic. You do not consider this unusual and you do not consider yourself a soldier accordingly.
• You probably own a rifle and a handgun, and are reasonably proficient at both. You do this not for overthrowing the government but for sport and self-defence.
• You are generally a fan of moderate government, and know enough basic Game Theory to understand why any politically extreme system of government fails. You generally laugh at libertarians and communists alike and usually remember enough from school to explain why.
• Everything should be earned, including respect. You have little time for idiots but are willing to give people leeway when appropriate.
• You tend to view foreigners with a friendly but slightly patronizing attitude. You are more than happy to explain why the Freethinker system of government is better than theirs. You also always buy the first drinks for them as a means of apology.

If you died tonight...

• You would not expect anything to happen, given that most likely you don’t believe in any particular deity. You would be most likely buried alongside the remains of your ancestors.
• Fast food comes from street vendors and the occasional chain restaurant. However, you and most of the people you know like to find a proper sit-down place for lunch. Employers willingly give you time for this.
• You drink beer at breakfast or lunch and no-one raises an eyebrow.
• If you’re human, you stick to ‘white’ alcohol, if you’re a vampire; you stick with ‘black’ stuff.
• Your cellular telephone is a mini-computer, but probably won’t work in half the country. For some reason you are always losing yours.
• The written word is an art form; a handwritten letter to someone is a sign of deep respect or affection.
• Food comes from a supermarket, the corner shop and the occasional street market, and prices tend to stay stable. What you can buy depends upon where you live.
• You may have a small patio garden, at best. If you’re an Outbacker, you probably have a ranch with an area greater than many sovereign states.
• A bathroom is for baths, along with a toilet, sink and shower. Toilets have just a toilet and sink. Your toilet and bath probably have filters in the exit flows to stop sewer worms swimming up and surprising you on the toilet.
• The roads inside a city are designed for public transport, logistical vehicles and pedestrians. Cars are generally frowned upon and congestion charges are common and high.
• From town to town you either fly or go by boat. The roads are excellent but the power sometimes fails. In the desert you do not want this to happen.
• There are dozens of different political parties, though you can probably name only three or four of them as well as the three main coalitions. You will generally vote for the party and its policies rather than its leaders, and you know given the low thresholds for seats that every vote does count.
• You have a general respect for the military from doing National Service, but don’t expect it to do anything but defend the country and protect people like you. You can only name a couple of higher ranking figures from the news.
• Unless they’re recent émigrés, you don’t grasp why people don’t become citizens as soon as possible.
• Racial and religious slurs are uncommon, but you won’t make an issue so long as the context is acceptable.
• You think most problems could be solved if everyone thought like you.
• You are not likely to sue anyone or be sued. You may have some sort of duel though. You will visit a courtroom for something in your lifetime.
• You will raise uproar if they increase taxes, but to be honest you won’t do much more than mutter so long as the bins are collected and the doctor’s bills covered.
• The UN is an organisation with its heart in the right place but is subservient to capitalist/communist interests of its member states, depending on your political persuasion.

Everybody knows that...

• If it’s a sauce, it comes in squeezable plastic containers, if it’s a drink in glass bottles or cartons.
• The date is and always has been DD/MM/YYYY. Foreigners who use something different are mocked.
• The decimal point is a period, period.
• A thousand million is a billion, or maybe it’s a million million, you’re not quite sure. You know most people use the former but your school teacher insisted on the latter.
• Marriage is something defined and decided your particular denomination or local church, if you have one. Otherwise a government union works just as well for tax purposes. The time, ceremony, number and sex of participants is limited only by your bank account and social skills.
• If a man has sex with another man, that’s normal, given that you have no real idea about homosexuality as a concept. You should be intimate with whoever you care for. You thank the vampires for this.
• Public nudity is fairly common, but you have to remember to wear lots and lots of sun cream and to at least wear sandals if walking anywhere without shade.
• You enjoy foreign films (usually because of better production values and plotlines) and you prefer them with subtitles to dubbing.
• You don’t expect to have to bribe anyone. You always suspect your competitors of it, however.
• Your opinion of a politician caught cheating depends upon what sort of job he’s been doing in his position and his subsequent openness. That said, few of your elected officials are married in the first place.
• Money is in coins and notes, credit cards and digital bits in computer networks. You probably have a huge pile of it stashed safely in a hole or a safe in your house and garden. In the Outback, however, bartering markets are still to be found and being a city boy this means having little of value to sell.
• Outside a city, you carry a powerful hand weapon because you know what lives there. Inside, you generally don’t bother. You’ve seen what vampires and ghouls do to trigger happy criminals and you are quite happy with that deterrence.
• You will eat anything offered on a menu, dogs, cats, bugs and even occasionally troll and dragon. You probably think dragon meat is tough and chewy, however.
• You never leave the secure city perimeter. Ever. You generally advise tourists to do the same.
• You learnt in school what to do when attacked by a variety of nasty desert creatures. You made to sure to learn this off by heart. You probably will have the opportunity to put this knowledge to good use in the future.

Space and Time

• Punctuality is generally the rule, though being a few minutes late in the morning is to be expected. You’re only at work to earn money after all.
• You always give someone a yard of space until you get to properly know them. From then it’s whatever you both are comfortable with.
• You don’t point, you nod. Never point.
• You often drop in on your friends uninvited, and they don’t mind so long as you bring the drink or get the first round in.
• You can never get your head quite round the idea how big the country is.
• When you negotiate, you take a reasonable position and stand firm. If they want something badly, they will come down to your level.

In Navarre…

• Which level you inhabit is the most important part of your address.
• Every house has stunning views of the Navarre basin. You know you will never see a more beautiful or impressive sight in your life.
• You can buy anything in the harbour markets. You know they’re allowed to because the intelligence services need the source of undocumented equipment and information.
• Anytime, day or night, there’s a party going down somewhere. Bring the booze and you are always welcome.
• Everything has been made to be beautiful and awe-inspiring, and it pretty much succeeds.
• Weekends can be spent on a rooftop with a six-pack, watching the orbital bombardment in the army ranges to the south of the city.

If you are a Vampire…

• Your clan is your pride and you are honoured to be part of it. The other clans are nice enough but they should understand that yours is the greatest.
• A restaurant that doesn’t serve meat raw is not worth your trouble.
• You’re getting sick to death of silly tourists waving crucifixes and garlic at you. You’re also sick of explaining why they don’t work.
• You are far stronger and faster than any sentient species you know, and are probably older and wiser than any other race apart from elves.
• You hate elves accordingly.
• You hate ripping your best clothes when you transform, and you also hate misjudging the space available to do so, especially in small places.
• You own a heavily used steel scratching-post and a walk-in freezer with half a cow hanging up in it in your home. Your bed and chairs are steel-reinforced accordingly.

If You're Valerian

You know about free speech, although you believe in more of a 'nominal' free speech in Magnus Valerius.

You drive one or more car(s) made in Magnus Valerius, which are just as reliable, classy, and efficient as Japanese cars anyway. At least, you believe so.

You tend to use the phrases "What Would Jesus Do?" and "WWGtGD?" (What Would George the Great Do?) interchangbly.

You believe that whomever sits on the throne has been granted power to rule by God, although you also believe that this power can be taken away and given to another man fit for a monarch.

You watch the news on TV and believe everything that is on it, although you prefer to watch some tabloid show on the stars or people in power or of some scandalous events elsewhere in the world.

You believe that football, American football, baseball, and basketball are the penultimate diversions, whereas bowling is for lazy drunkards, badminton and table tennis are for "effeminates" and golfing is for undeserving nobles. Badminton and table tennis are also associated with east Asians, but east Asians are considered effeminate in the nation anyway.

You feel democracy will make a mess of the nation. After all, the nation pulverized dozens of democratic states in its history.

You are culturally connected to Russians and other Slavs yet do not want to associate with them.

You believe that everyone in the world should know what goes on in your country, and you are shocked that most foreign people don't know where Magnus Valerius is on a map, let alone that it even existed.

You get a decent amount of vacation, often three weeks at average, although society often wants you to work hard. Besides, wages are good and the economy is booming, so why not work now before the markets for cars, steel, and computers crash?


I Bet God Rides In A Limo Too

You believe in God, even though you believe in him nominally.

You have a tendency to make the sign of the cross when in doubt.

You are likely a nominal Christian of the Valerian Orthodox Church, although there are Catholics and a few Protestants scattered about the nation. It's quite possible that you are either Jewish or Zoroastrian too.

You know that there are Muslims in Valeria, living in Isangrad and you know they are best known for being talkative taxi drivers, sanitation workers, and mail carriers in that city. There are also a few that practice what the government calls "Elentarianism", although you know that these people consist of a bunch or crazy nuts or elves living in the middle of the vast northern forests.

You wonder why the Valerian Orthodox Church and its clergy have a lot of land and money, but then you think it is because of their hard work. In fact, they have a lot of money... you might think it was an act of God to make them wealthy. You also know that they cruise around in "sanctified" limos, adorned with gold crosses.

You wear a crucifix in order to make sure that, if God exists, he is watching you favorably; even if you don't God still forgives. You view Protestants and fundamentalist Christians with suspicion and mistrust.

You are familiar with all of the rules of football, hockey, and basketball. You sometimes wonder why people even bother with such "trash sports" like cricket, rugby, or tennis.

Never Learn Quenya...


You know at least English, which is the trade language and useful in virtually every other country, and Valerian, even though your English skills will never be as good as a native speaker; it's only useful if you're chatting it up with foreigners and tourists. Some may learn Russian, although it has as much use as Quenya, since not too many people use it. You may or may not know other languages,

Depending on which region in Magnus Valerius you are from, you may also speak French, German, Gothic, Japanese, Gaelic, Greek, Latin, Farsi, Magyar, or Syl'vanian Elvish. You tend to forget which state uses which...

Your bathroom consists of a sink, shower, bathtub, or shower-tub. Often, the toilet is in a side room or partition, called the kommodei or simply a "water closet", especially if you are wealthy. Often, the rich have indoor saunas and spas, in a room right next to the bathroom.

Your mom washes your clothes in a washing machine, which is often at the end of a hallway.

You view the privatization of companies with ambivalence; it will be good for the economy, but corrupt officials will likely make profits disappear into their slush funds.

You expect phones to work -- and they do. However, getting a new phone is a hassle, as it may take as long as a filibuster. People often resort to cell phones, which are reliable, and often buy a new one once the old one goes out of style.

You take pride in your country's well-designed train system, since flights are very often delayed and the highway system is confusing. Buses are somewhat unreliable, so you settle for the underground, if your city has a subway. You may have to travel by boat or ferry (or rely on planes) to reach another part of the country, since many states lay across the mainland into the sea.

You often wonder why nothing is done about the horrible airplane food and terrible reliability of flight schedules. In this case, you believe that the government should nationalize such a business for once.

Food Depends on Where You Are At

You believe that food is where the heart is, and often a good meal is a great way to try and win someone's heart. You eat at a table on chairs.

Mustard, ketchup, and various other condiments comes in over-labeled, gaudy glass or plastic jars and bottles, shaving cream in cans, and milk comes in jugs, carton boxes, or bottles.

McDonald's, Burger King, and KFC are cheap and inexpensive, although not many people particularly like them. They often go for other fast food joints like Tsar George's American Fried Chicken or In and Out instead.

You don't consider insects, dogs, cats, or monkeys to be food, although guinea pigs are often a delicacy in Gothania. Snails and frogs are also quite popular in French-speaking areas of the empire. If you are an ethnic Valerian, you will love all sorts of wierd seafood (and seafood in general) like eels, sea urchins, octopus, squid, seaweed, and occassionally the whale or dolphin that gets caught up in fishermen's nets. You also like beef, chicken, bread, a host of different fruits and vegetables (which may or may not disgust foreigners, such as mustard greens, celery leaves, or lima beans).

You remember stories about peasants eating only beans, leeks, and bark, but those days are long gone.

You may or not be a farmer, depending on in which state you live. If you live in Gothania or East Valeria, you are likely to be a rancher or a herdsman, with varying amounts of llamas, cattle, and sheep outnumbering your family and your neighbors. If you live in Romanovna or Valeria, you might be a farmer, or have relatives who are farmers.

You are likely to have a large number of relatives/children/siblings. This can get confusing, especially at family reunions where you will have to remember who's who.

Those Silly Germans

You don't understand why some countries have so many political parties. You believe that if they centralized power more, their governments wouldn't waste so much tax dollars on politicians. There is only a few parties, although they don't have much sway; the emperor is the state, after all. Communism and Fascism are viewed as radical perversions of someone's twisted mind.

You believe there is no such thing as race in Magnus Valerius, but you believe in different ethnicities and making fun of them.

You believe a tax rate of 50% is outrageous.

School is free, and college lasts four years (unless you want to; college is also heavily subsidized.

Badenese German Valerians are viewed as incompetent, untrustworthy fools who always want to secede from the Empire, even though it (maybe) will not happen. They are often joked about being drunk and rather delusional.

French Valerians are viewed as overly fond of garlic and strange foods. They also do not care if you mispel a word so long as you pronounce it right. They seem to have made all of their cities close to the fanciest ski resorts.

Gothic Valerians are deemed as trustworthy friends, even if a bit stupid and backwards. You speculate why they like keeping furry, fluffy animals around -- like sheep.

Japanese Valerians are renowned for their competitiveness in sports and videogames. Sometimes they are viewed as brothers for the Frenchies, since they are so damned chauvinistic, too.

Greek and Roman Valerians are viewed as lazy, often drunk slobs. The former are joked about for their immense inability to keep a schedule, while the latter are joked about their overemphasization of minor details. They all smell like fish and are bad to barter with, since they will own you.

Gaelic Valerians are mocked for their love of bagpipes, skirts that they insist on calling kilts, drinking issues, and mere oddities.

Ethnic Valerians (for those who aren't an ethnic Valerian) are viewed as pompous, sometimes secretive, overly proud individuals who work hard and breed too much (although all ethnicties in the country have rapid growth rates). There are jokes on the vodka-fueled antics of Valerians throughout the empire. Valerians also tend to be bad dentists, since tedious work bores them.

Let's Just Hope You Were Young and Drunk

You prefer foreign coffees, even though domestic coffee is cheaper. On the other hand, you prefer domestically grown tea.

Inflation and unemployment are usually low. If they rise pretty high, it is a good time to unseat the current monarch and put a new one on the throne and hope for the best.

The date comes first in DD/MM/YYYY format (in Years AD): 28/4/1347 (and you should know what happened on that date).

If a man were to have sex with another man, he is a homosexual. If he was young, were drunk, or both, it is a forgivable subject, but if he was older and was not drunk, he is immediately ostracized and shunned.

Speaking of homosexuals, you once heard tales of the old inquisitors and emperors slaughtering them, but all of this sounds archaic and distant to you.

You often go out to marry for love, although sometimes your family will introduce you to desired mates and hope for a lasting relationship to spark. You are often wed by the church or a civil servant; either way is acceptable.

Hotels always have private baths.

On television, foreign films and shows are dubbed, while in the theatres, they are mostly subtitled; you would like TV to subtitle shows too, since dubbed shows are usually dubbed terribly and mistranslated.

If a politician has been cheating on his wife, you would question his ability to govern. Sometimes bribes are necessary to get your voice heard.

If you live in the city, just about any store will take your credit card. Even some rural areas see credit card usage, but not much.

A company can fire just about anybody it wants. But it will also hire anybody. Often, you are granted compensation for being fired that will last until you get a job; you may get hired pretty quickly, by the way.

You're not going to die of third world diseases such as cholera, but you hope you will not fall ill; if you don't have health insurance, you won't be able to see a doctor for a week and will be forced to wait. Health insurance is also not covered by the government. Dying at 65 is a tragedy, but you believe saving sick babies is more important than a dying, 80-year-old geezer.

The government mostly pays for education, infrastructure, defence, and law and order. Magnus Valerius lacks any social welfare, so you'd better hope not to get sick or become unemployed for a long period of time.

You study Valerian, East Asian, and European History, although you don't really bother with American or Latin American history. You think African history is an endless series of bloody regimes and European decadence. You understand Valerian History as the obliteration of many different minor kingdoms, duchies, and republics by Valeria.

Valerian women always go to beaches topless... that is, if they can drive from all the inland cities to the overcrowded, smelly beaches on the southern shore of King William's Sea.

Girl, Have Some Cheese!

If you are a traditional male, you will believe that a woman slightly plumper than average is okay. It is all the better. Many women, though, are average in weight.

Women in Valeria are generally good-looking. You believe foreigners from places such as Turkey or Walmingtonia come to Magnus Valerius to rape or steal women. If you are a woman in Valeria, then you'll also have a selection of decent men as well. Regardless of your sex, you are likely to have an attraction towards east Asian and Slavic men and women.

The people who appear on the most popular talk shows are mostly talentless entertainers, singers, or sleazy models. Occassionally you get classical pianists or painters as a sort of "dose of culture". No one wants to watch authors or nuclear physicists on TV, since they are considered to be boring.

You have a large selection of things to buy, although in some places there are better quality items to choose from. Often, there are many brand names from "trustworthy" Valerian groups such as Valeririjk, Inc. and The Duma Holdings among the other brands from other nations.

You measure things in liters, grams, and meters, although in terms of heights, weights, and meteorological temperatures, you use inches/feet, pounds, and degrees Fahrenheit respectively.

You drive on the left side of the road, although sometimes you will have to drive on the right side if you are in a backwards state like Kydonia. You don't stop at red lights, even if there are people around. If you're a pedestrian, you will fearlessly and nonchalantly cross the street, anywhere you please, whether the light is green or not.

You consider the VW Beetle to be a smallish car. Usually, though, you drive domestic cars or other cars than the Beetle, which is fondly referred to as the "The VW Roach".

The police have submachine guns -- and swords and hanguns. They usually carry truncheons too, and use those before whipping out the heavier artillery.

The biggest meal of the day is in the evening, or whenever you desire. If you are under 20, it is usually when your mother/sister/aunt/wife/granny decides to cook.

Those Elves Surely Screwed Up...

Your country has never been conquered by a foreign nation, although about half of the states north of Valeria were onced ruled by a large, no -- gargantuan, elven empire that now ceases to exist.

In some cities, such as Isangrad, Alexandria, or Zellburg, you will not want to be on the streets at night. Rape usually isn't a problem, but organized crime and angry drug addicts are.

You feel that the emperor is looking out for you, although you sometimes think that he should be more in touch with the people.

You don't really mind what family someone comes from (unless they're Badenese or you're Jewish), and nobility always deserve envy or respect.

There are many lawyers in Magnus Valerius, but they are not high in stature or power.

The military is there to protect the nation, although they have involved themselves in politics in the past.

Time and Space

It is inexcusable to be more than an hour late to an appointment. Usually, you are to be on time, although if you're ten minutes late, it is usually overlooked.

If you're talking to someone, it is a good idea to stay within one to two feet. Any further will feel awkward.

You have a tendency to use phrases, and you praise (or condemn) either God or one of the Tsars depending on certain situations.

Every building often is accompanied with landscaping, and each building in itself is an artform (unless you are talking about tract homes or building styles from far-flung regions of the empire).

You are expected to know how to use a sword by age 12, and a gun by 18. It is for "self defense", but you know that these guidelines are used to make sure that Valerians have some weapon skills if they are drafted into the army for some pointless conflict.

The United Nations is seen as a mockery of international politics and is rightfully ignored in Magnus Valerius.

If you aren't understood at first, you rephrase whilst raising your voice.

If you have guests, you will serve them tea (usually green tea) and some sort of pastry, usually a danish.

You will try to bargain for everything, mainly because you believe vendors and merchants are trying to rip people off. There are limits, though.

If you have a business appointment, it is proper to be on time, although in reality it is likely that the other negotiator will be half an hour late. The meeting may or may not be interrupted several times.

I went a little crazy on all this... I can't believe I wrote so much. :D

If You're Maraquen...

* You're not fat, you're American.
* You drive a full-size SUV and proud of it!
* You're deeply insulted when you're called a monkey because no one looks like George Bush. Period.
* When someone mentions income taxes you cringe.
* You think every other country is 3rd world.
* You think religion is a waste of time.
* You think 6 hours of work a day is too much.
* You think $52.74 an hour is an unacceptable minimum wage.
* When you see $2.80 for a gallon of fuel you know you're dreaming.
* Seeing leather-clad people being walked on a leash in your local park is just a normal sight.
* You have a heart attack when someone assumes you're anything but a Maraquen.
* There is no such thing as a lazy Maraquen. You're just out of shape.
* You've never heard of a drive-thru anything.
* You're considered poor if you have less than 5 acres of land in the suburbans, and 5,000sq ft of space in the city.
* Foreign goods are inferior. That's why the average Maraquen only spends $12 in foreign goods a year, and it's usually by accident.
* You're confused as to why people in other countries have to be accepted into college.
* You use debit or cash.
* You think anything less than a 7-seat vehicle is small.
* You love a good protest.
* Dispite all your protests you believe you live in the best country in the universe.
* You beat the crap out of anyone who refers to you as a member of a specific ethnic background or race. You're Maraquen and nothing else.
* You think flying is odd.
* Children as young as five using profanity in public is a common sight.
* You slap anyone who insults the national animal.
* Flag burning is permitted, but be warned; this may result in a fist to the face.
* You don't like clean cities.
* The invention of spinning rims makes as much sense to you as the invention of the spork; no sense at all.
* You don't care about traditional things. You do them your own way.
* You think Wyoming is a waste of inhabitable space, and thank the King it isn't a territory of your great nation.
* You consider Christians "the terrorists," not Muslims.
* You don't shop at a grocery store. You shop at a specialty store.
* You can smoke, drink, and use drugs at 18. Drugs are free for anyone over 52.
* You can vote for local government at 14.
* The only sport you care about is track, wheelchair basketball, and tennis.
* You recieve four to eight weeks of vacation.
* Your life would be disorganized without your cellular.
* You consider venders and vending machines to be "Fast Food."
* You own atleast one television set if you're single, two if you're not, and three to five if you have children. Same applies with personal computers and laptops.
* You don't think trains are safe.
* Seeing a white person makes you suspicious.
* You don't mind sales tax even though you'd have more money if they taxed your income instead.
* You think education you have to pay for is immoral.


If you died tonight...

* You would most likely be placed inside a mausoleum.
* Family and friends would gather at a large banquet to honor
and remember the person who passed away.There would be no time during this period where a viewing of the body takes place.

Everyone knows that...

* Crunchy peanut butter is just wrong.
* The date is PP/DDD/YYYY (01/053/2006.)
* A year is 13 periods and 391 days.
* Walmart and Kmart suck. Target and Costco is where it's at.
* There are no such things as pet stores. You buy your pet from an authorized breeder. This applies to all animals and not just cats and dogs.
* Cheques are a waste of paper. You're paid through an account you open before you are hired.
* There is no such thing as a true democracy.
* Prejudice and racism is a federal offense and can result in life in prison or death depending on which degree you committed.
* You pay the price on an item and don't complain if it's too expensive. You're not a stupid American.
* Nudity isn't a big deal.
* You don't understand why foreigners pay for someone to massage them.


Space and time...

* You're never late to an appointment - ever.
* You believe if you can smell someones breath they are too close.
* You usually get ready to go somewhere two hours before you need to leave.
* You take offense when someone comes over unannounced or when someone invites themselves over without asking you first.
* You accurately calculate how long it will take you to get somewhere by the average speed of your vehicle, the amount and time of all traffic lights on the way, and the distance from departure and arrival.You're usually off by four minutes.

If Your Turkimenese

- You believe in your King first, and your representative second. Espeically if your representative is from the United Capitalist Party. They tend to be rather scandalous.
- Your familar with many cultural icons from many different countries, and more then likely have studied at least one on up to ten in depth in your years in the school system.
- Sports, however, elude you. Except for rugby, now theres a manly sport.
- You count yourself fortunate to be living in one of the richest countries you know of.

If you Died Tonight...

- You'd wonder if Frederian IV ever married.
- If your poor, your apartment would be cleared out of all of it's things so that the next tenement may move in, your things sent to your family respectively, whom would consider it not the least bit offensive in the slightest.
- You've always found gourmet food to be weird, and at your funeral there would just be the stand-bys of Turkimen culture. Some meat (Findlehoop if your lucky) a green or two, and plenty of starches.
- Your funeral would more then likely be Christian sponsored, a pastor presiding.
- That said, the guests may not all be religious, and some may question why a pastor is there.
- If your old enough you'd remember the debacle that was the community income tax. If not, you've heard of this debacle, and wondered how they lived. Hell, your not sure how you get by with this "New Plan" they insist on.
- You've laid eyes on at least two other foreign countries, yet that doesn't mean you had to like either of them.
- Your confident that the Turkimen Civil War was the last war between the Turkimen people. The government is stable enough, and besides taxes it seems to be doing things right.
- that said you also aren't sure if it was the propaganda of your early school life that made you think this.
- While you know at least three people who can speak other languages besides English, and don't think your government should adopt only English as its official language... you silently wish they speak your language more often.
- School is always free, and you think it should stay that way. Even if it does mean you have to pay for it eventually through taxes.

Everbody Knows That...

- The current King is Frederian IV, but your may not be so sure who or what this new regent guy is all about.
- The date comes second.
- School is the most important part of your life, and being homeschooled is unthinkable. However, that doesn't mean everybody likes it.
- If a man had sex with another man, you'd probably not notice or care. After all, whats a few gay men when close by you see leather clad lovers in the same park?
- Topless or not, beaches aren't something you go to for "fun." The whole feckin' country is sandy, and going out without any shade is a guaranteed way to get burnt, or even cancer.
- If a politician was caught cheating on his wife, I'd be handled just like a civilian case... between the two peers. You'd expect nothing less, though you 'd be hard pressed to support him in his next election.
- More importantly, curroption would lead you to believe that a politician not only be impeached, but jailed for a good long time. Curroption, after all, is an insult to your forefathers who brought this government up.
- You'd suspect that if you went to go get a job, the main thing they'd be looking at would be credentials. Not your race.

Space and Time


- Haggling is natural when the government takes so much in taxes. Trades, bargaining, all that you've at least done once, and may do it as your main source of income.
- Being late for an appointment is acceptable as long as you apologize quickly and give the truth. Forgetting an appointment however is unacceptable, espeically if it's formal.
- If your talking to someone you know, getting close is only natural. You shouldn't have to yell to a person your talking too casually. However for someone you don't know, you always let the other person set the distance... normally leading you to yell.

Everyday Life and Culture

- you think of plays, operas, and or ballet to be a splendid night out... and you don't understand those traditionalists that want to go back to the old nomadic rituals. You also are either a part of, or mildly envious of the rising youth and their dance clubs.
- you are not a farmer, as it's impossible to grow too much in the desert. You've heard of farmers, but you've more then likely never really met one. You also have heard most of there jobs are done by machines now, which you think is a good step forward.
- Your used to the sort of restricted capitalism your given. You have a lot of brands, and are proud of Turkimen's famous autos.
- You expect some involvement of the army in politics, but any parties that are too militaristic or radical aren't appealing. You like stability and are afraid of change, and radicals bring downfall to the first and bring the second in spades.
- You don't expect to see a homeless man, and if you do you definitely don't give him any money, or go anywhere near him. If they've been rejected from the shelters, they should be reported as they are more then likely known criminals.

If you are Iansislean:
You believe that the Revolution was the best thing that could have happened to the Shield, and if someone doesn’t proclaim such loudly at every possible opportunity, you’re at least a little suspicious of them.
You’re familiar with Captain Diamond: Man of Right, Real Adventures of the First Lancers, and other fine IanCorp-produced radio and moving-picture serials.
At least one of your children is named in honor of Jeff Williams.
Baseball and ice hockey are the only sports worth following. You’re dimly aware that the quality -- who should be struck down by the hand of the people! -- prefer sports such as polo and golf, but those really aren’t very interesting. You may even remember the brief period when a national football team was fielded, but mostly that they lost a lot of games to Audioslavia.
You know at least one person that either enlisted or was drafted to fight on the Effitian front.
Chances are that your local pub has a pennant proudly supporting the Cherry Cup VII Champion Iansisle Gulls. You were probably not alive when those games were played.

If you were to die tonight:

The local parish priest would administer last rites.
The Church is basically a good institution, but they do own a lot of land, what with this being a time of national crisis and all. Their relationship to the government is good and natural, and you’re not really sure why the Yanks would want to separate them at all.
You 'do your business' in a water closet (often shortened to 'closet') and bathe in a bathroom, unless you're too poor to afford seperate rooms for them. In that case, you probably do both, as well as sleep with five or six roomies, in your single-room apartment on the wrong side of the tracks.
“Fast food” is served from little carts on the side of the street by greasy-looking foreigners. Unless you’re working-class, you’d never eat there except under considerable duress.
Having an income tax at all is certainly unwelcomed, but needed in this time of national crisis.
School (up to university) is free but not required. Better (much better) education can be had at expensive prep schools.
You’d be buried, but never cremated.
Chances are high that the disease you died of is easily preventable in most other countries. Making it to 65 would be seen as a good, full life as the national LE hovers in the low 50s.

Well, it is the Gull Flag Republic and all:

Most of your information comes through a newspaper, radio-program, or newsreel owned and operated by the Iansislean International Telegraph Corporation (IanCorp), which is fully owned by the government. This doesn’t bother you -- why should it?
Taxicabs are expensive, slow, and generally unreliable. You either own a car, take the streetcar, or walk where you need to go. If you live in Ianapalis and are particularly adventurous, you may even try the “underground”, although that breaks down nearly even mile.
Political parties are an antiquated part of the ancien régime that was swept under the carpet. That being said, however, you quite often speak in terms of those who follow Charles Bradsworth (‘Gull Flaggers’), those who follow Lawrence Madders (‘Grand Streeters’), and a few loonies (‘Royalists’). None of these are political parties. Certainly not.
Chances are VERY slim that you own a television (and, if you do, there’s only one or two channels available in your area and the programming is probably terrible). You more than likely use the radio as your primary means of entertainment, though a trip to the teneral theater to see the new Kirk Valoon picture. Chances are about even whether or not you own a telephone, and worse than that that it will work on a predictable basis.
The electricity usually works in the cities, but there’s a government-ordered blackout at night anyway.
You think that welfare, universal health care, and the other trappings of socialism was a damn good innovation! ...it's almost worth paying that income tax. Almost. Communisim is still a no-no, however -- that's what those Beth Gellens do, and a stand-up Shieldian would never be associated with them!

The only thing that separates us from the savages:

If you’re introduced to someone, “Mr / Mrs / Miss / Citizen [Last Name]” is the only proper way to refer to them, unless the specifically ask otherwise.
Labor Day is lumped in with the other festivities during Gulleria.
Dates are in the format DD.MM.YY, as in 21.3.IV. And you know what happened that day. Anyone not using the revolutionary calendar is probably a royalist reactionary and should be reported to the local constable.
Mustard comes in jars, milk in bottles, and shaving cream you make yourself. Ketchup (or Catsup) comes in jars as well, but no one buys it.
A billion is still a million times a million, but no one ever seriously uses that number.
You'd be hard pressed to name the capital of Walmington on Sea, Iansisle's closest ally, much less anywhere else.
You've probably never traveled more than 50 miles away from the place where you were born.
The government has just started issuing paper money, but it’s notoriously worthless and anyone with a few coin generals can buy more than a person with a million paper ones. No one has any idea what a credit card is, though some upscale places might accept a cheque.
If a man has sex with another man, he’s a homosexual. However, no one outside that bedroom will ever know about it and he will probably marry a woman anyway. Most likely you aren’t even aware that homosexuality exists.
In theory, at least, marriage is about love. The damn aristos married for convenience, and they got what they had coming, didn’t they?
It’s conceivable that you might be a farmer. If you’re not, then you should be planting a Victory Garden, for heaven’s sake. Do you want Effie to win?
The train is the only way to get around. There are only a few domestic flights and few paved roads outside the cities.
Christmas is in the winter, and anyone who doesn’t celebrate it better have a damn good excuse. Being non-Christian isn’t good enough.

Why we’re plum better than everyone else:

Your history textbook probably covered Iansislean history post-unification and maybe a bit of post-Enlightenment Europe. You more than likely know next to nothing about other countries.
You’re dimly aware that the rest of the world does not fully appreciate Kirk Valoon’s talent on the silver screen. A pox upon them!
You may have dim memories of one boring teacher or another talking about the Battle of Dalenford and the overthrow of the Sentrians. You can’t think of a time since then, however, that the Shield has ever been seriously threatened.
The military exists to defend the Republic, both from those dirty foreigners outside and those traitorous reactionaries within. You are probably familiar with names like Nicodemo Ranalte, James Redford, and Sir Richard Tri, though your knowledge of the high command is foggy.
You measure everything in feet, yards, pounds, and other imperial units. Anyone who doesn’t is probably a shifty-eyed foreigner.

Other people tend towards unusual smells:

Effitians should be spat on if met in the street.
Walmies are our cousins, even if they live really far away and were probably a bit rash in dropping Antananarivo on the Yanks. Still, they havent’ *quite* figured out the evils of a hereditary monarchy and should be treated with suspicion.
Your average Larkinian has a lot of money and should be pandered to at all costs. If it’s Jeff Williams, you should try to get an autograph too - chance are it’s worth more than your house.
Roanians are pompous, but they really have nothing but empty threats. Everyone knows the Navy would blow them out of that water they hate so much.
People from the Western Shield are slowwitted (as evidenced by their drawl) and best suited for manual labor.
People from the Eastern Shield are arrogant and inherently untrustworthy.
People from the Northern Shield are illiterate peasants, don’t bathe properly, and like to raise rebellious armies.
The police are part of the military -- of course they have to carry firearms!
You hate Dwarves and Inuits with an equal passion.
Gallagans (and the other colonized people. They’re hard to tell apart, what with them all being brown and all) are childlike savages who need to be taught about God and the democracy before they’re ready for independence.
Very few jokes are made about the Effitians. They’re the Mortal Enemy®, after all. It’s much better to make a joke about the Tharians, who don’t really have a military.

Time and Space

Everyone knows that unwanted pregnancies result from standing closer than three feet from one another.
If you’re ten minutes late for an appointment, you mutter apologies. If you’re twenty minutes late, you apologize profusely. If you’re thirty minutes or more late, you blow off the appointment and go have a pint.
The most important meal is in the evening, and it’s known as ‘supper’, never dinner.
Touching each other, outside of handshaking (for men) or hand-kissing (for women), is strictly out of bounds.
Just as men and boys should never venture outside without a hat, women should never go in public unless their ankles, wrists, and necks are properly covered. Similarly, swim wear that reveals the knees or the elbows will probably result in a fine for indecent exposure.
Men should always remove their hats, open doors, and walk on the outside of the sidewalk in the presence of a lady.
The art of haggling is widely practiced. Only the aristos had enough money to buy something at face price, and they got what was coming, didn’t they?
Business always follows at least ten minutes of small talk, during which time tea should be offered. Getting straight to the point is very rude.

If you’re a citizen of the Federation…

- You believe in all manner of rights, as long as the Government isn’t bothered by you having them.
- You’re familiar with a lot of science fiction, but not on a first name basis. Of course, that science fiction really just looks a lot like reality. The longest running entertainments are news broadcasts.
- You do not question the sanctity of baseball, but you’ve never met anyone who plays it since you left school, unless you have children. Professional sports are a joke (except for baseball) anyways. Everyone knows college sports are where it’s at.
- Your vacation time increases as your responsibilities increase. Which means you get to use even less of it, not that there was much to begin with.

If you died tonight…

- There would be someone there, and they would say something. Of course, you can never predict who they are and what it would be, though you’d like it to be your friends and family, with something nice to say.
- Fast food exists. You eat it when you need to.
- Machines exist that will do just about anything you need for the mechanics of living. The more money you have, the smarter they get, too.
- Food is a matter of personal preference. After all, that guy over there likes to drink blood, so why should anyone complain you like to eat people?
- A bathroom has a toilet and a sink at a minimum. Sonic showers are common.
- Everything is privately run. Except the government has absolute control. The government has absolute control over everything, so this is natural.
- A holocomm is standard, and buying one is easy, but you rarely replace it. Of course, you can always talk to people through FedNet in your head, too – unless you’re dirt poor and don’t want to work for the government and become a Citizen.
- Maglev trains are efficient, but you would be just as comfortable driving or hopping a shuttle flight. Depends on how much you like traveling, your time requirements, the amount of cargo you have to move, and which you like better.
- Political parties are pointless. Holding to a rigid ideal is crazy, since all situations are dynamic. Besides, the President runs everything anyway. But you still like to vote for the Legislature.
- People argue for different political systems all the time. They aren’t taken seriously. Ours works here. If something else works better for someone else, they’re welcome to it.
- As long as the Federation Science Council says it’s sentient, you don’t really care what it looks like. Admittedly, some things are just ugly, though.
- Most problems could be solved if people would stop resisting.
- There is a court system. There is, in fact, a holo-channel that does nothing but broadcast court proceedings. There’s no point in suing someone for breach of contracts. If you were smart, the penalties are already in place. If not, sucks to be you.
- Language is an unfortunately necessary tool. You can learn to speak anything you need through hypo-education or downloading it. But you’ll still need to practice before you become any good at it. You grow up speaking Common, and learn at least two other languages the old fashioned way in school.
- The government needs money to adequately defend the rights it chooses to give you this week. And do whatever else it is the government does. As long as you get what you pay for, you don’t complain.
- Schooling is one of things you pay the government for. Unless you have way too much money.
- It is entirely likely you’ll never attend college or university. Technical and trade schools are a must, though.

Everybody knows that…

- Condiments come in whatever is convenient. So do drinks. If you have a preference, you buy that brand.
- They taught you to put the date second in school. You do it however you like.
- The decimal point is a dot. Commas are for making run-on sentences.
- A billion is a lot of money. If you need to be technical, though, it is a thousand millions.
- Marriages are arranged however you want, between however many and whoever you want. Legally, you can marry your toaster if you’re into that. But it would have to be a sentient toaster to count as a marriage for tax purposes.
- If a man has sex with another man, he’s engaged in homosexual activity. So? Just wait until tomorrow night, when he goes home lonely to his toaster…
- If someone has a title, you call them that. Unless they tell you to call them otherwise. Unless you don’t think they deserve their title.
- Nudity is legal in public, but what’s the point? It might be cold or raining. Then again, it might be sunny. Besides, clothes are a statement.
- A hotel room has a private bathroom that will always include a non-sink-involved method of cleansing one’s body. The more you pay, the nicer this gets.
- Foreign films are fine. Most everyone uses Common anyway. And if they don’t? Download the language.
- Most business with the government is done through a computer. How do you bribe a non-sentient computer?
- If a politician cheats on his wife, you would wonder why he was silly enough to sign a marriage contract that made it so he’s cheating. But as long as it doesn’t affect his work, what’s the big deal? And if it does, his superiors will sack him.
- Money is connected to your identification implant. So is everything else in your life. You would feel really bad if you lost your right arm. Fortunately, if you do, that’s what DNA tracing is for. But people behind you in the line might get impatient and wonder why you haven’t replaced your arm yet.
- If a company fires you, hopefully it gave you a reason. If it didn’t, you should ask for one. But at least you’ll get to live off the government for ninety days while you find a new job.
- Bacon is crispy. If not, it’s undercooked. If someone tries to tell you ham is bacon, you laugh at them.

Contributions to world civilization…

- Mass extra-planetary deportation of the Khristatatan people.
- Occupation of Allanea.
- Destruction of major cities of The Atheist Reality.
- Destruction of the Confederacy of Lost Americans.
- Everyone’s seen that movie, haven’t they?
- Medicine is nice, but it’s nicer not to have to take much. Health care is wonderful.
- Fractal reality makes history confusing. You learned your own history, though. That’s not so bad. But again, names and dates can be downloaded off FedNet.
- You expect the military to win when it fights. You expect this to be often, just due to the instability of reality, though you would rather it be less.
- Foreign nations are just that. Foreign. Which means they aren’t here.
- There had better be plenty of choices in things to buy.
- You prefer metric measurements, but thanks to FedNet, you can measure in anything FedNet knows. Which is a lot.
- You are a farmer. At least in the sense you probably have some live plants somewhere. And it’s a good bet where you live has a hydroponic farm or two.
- Comics are people who tell jokes. Graphic novels are nice, too.
- You drive wherever the city’s controlling intelligence puts you. Unless you’re authorized for independent movement. Then you drive wherever you want. Fortunately, pedestrians don’t have to worry about you, since you’re two hundred meters over their heads.
- The police are most assuredly armed. Heavier than you are. After all, you can’t buy powered battle armor and stingships.
- People look however they want. Body-sculpting is rather pointless, unless you need to look good for your job. And by look good, that means looking healthy and fit. There is no social stigma to being overweight, but you’ll probably find it harder to get casual sex, mainly because you don’t look like you’d enjoy it. It’s supposed to be fun, not work.
- The biggest meal of the day is when you’re hungriest.
- The nationality people joke the most about is whichever got its ass kicked publicly the most recently.
- If you avoid parts of the city at night, you have a reason – but it has nothing to do with crime.

Outside of Griffin…

- If you don’t feel people are listening to you, you talk louder. Or you wave a sign. Or you start a petition. Whatever you do, you don’t bother people who don’t want to be.
- The only reason to care what family someone comes from is to be sycophantic. And you shouldn’t do that, it’s annoying. Though sometimes, you might want their family’s money.
- When people die, their money goes where it’s supposed to go. It’s none of your business unless it goes to you.
- Opera, ballet, and theater are nice. Everyone should go at least once. After all, you can’t find it prissy and stuck up if you’ve never been. For that matter, you can’t like it either.
- Christmas is in winter, which, despite being in the Southern Hemisphere (as much as one can be in fractal reality, anyways), occurs in December through March.
- Churches are usually nice, and have good ideals. They’re probably wrong, though, though maybe not about everything.
- Why would you want to memorize something like foreign capitals? You can find it on FedNet.
- Foreigners generally get employed. Everyone does. What they do depends on how good at it they are.

Space and Time…

- If you’re five minutes late, have a good excuse. If you’re ten, reschedule. Ahead of time. There’s no reason for being that late.
- Personal space is matter of preference. Generally, it’s about two thirds of a meter, unless you’re big, or talk with your hands a lot. Scientific studies have shown it to be 64.57 centimeters, but no one really cares. People will back away if you get too close. If you get too close too much, they’ll take exception.
- Bargaining is pointless. Unless you think you can get it for cheaper, and won’t piss everyone off while doing so. It’s never done if there’s a line, though. That would be rude.
- Showing up unannounced is pointless. How do you know they’ll be there? Unless you’re the police or some other branch of the government. Then it’s expected. Most people have little objection to friends dropping by, though, and will generally invite them to stay for meals. Expect the favor to be returned, though.
- Negotiating should be done in good faith, and tactfully, though truthfully and directly. Trickery means you aren’t secure in your position.

If you're Nouveau Montréalais

* You have complete freedom of religion, but more likely than not you're Orthodox Christian.
* You're familiar with Chief Paladin Frog (head of government), Patriarch Vyacheslav I (head of the church), William Branstone (coach of the national football side) and Rejean (national hero from the war against IN)
* You know Soccer (which is very important in the nation), ice hockey, baseball, and gridiron. Maybe basketball if you're really into sports.
* About two weeks off at Christmas, three in summer, and one in spring if you're lucky

If you died tonight...

* You expect to be judged by Christ and sent to heaven or the Anathematic Republics
* You think Fast Food is everywhere, especially poutine
* You live in one of the richest nations in the Midlands, and you've got every single bit of electronic crap you can afford. At the least, a cell/mobile phone, a nice TV, and a computer.
* Cows, pigs, sheep, lamb, chicken and so forth are food. Household pets and vermin are not.
* A bathroom may not have a bathtub in it but has a toilet.
* The government agressively backs businesses in every field, subsiziding them at what is probably an unhealthy level.
* Phone, electricity, water etc. are throughly modernized and completely reliable.
* Most cities have subways, and trains link the nation, but people still prefer to drive unless they live in the middle of a city
* Flying domestically is taken for granted. Major cities are four hours and $89 away, and long weekends are usually spent in some other city.
* The Council of Paladins holds the real power, and the Council of Commons holds the loonies. You vote for them anyway, since entertainment like that can't be had anywhere else.
* Drugs are legal and readily available.
* Problems are solved by the union of money and brains.
* Lawsuits are fairly rare.
* You know English and French, and probably one or two other languages. Bilingual signs and announcements are the norm, and radio broadcasts are frequently bilingual.
* Fifty percent of your money is gone as taxes, but you get what you pay for.
* Education is free 'till college, and pretty good all around.


Everybody knows that

* Gravy and cheese curds were created to go on french fries.
* The date is MM/DD/YY
* NMS 1, Bedistan 0
* Public nudity goes in and out of style just like actual clothing
* Monasteries are located in the top two floors of most skyscrapers so that stressed-out workers have someplace to comfort their spirits after a long day.
* Marriage must involve another human being, at least in the eyes of the state. Religious marriage is common, but not mandatory.
* Personal scandal is no disqualification from political office.
* Crime is everywhere, but that's the price you pay.

"C'est acceptable?"

* You're used to having a wide variety of choices for almost anything you buy, and the cash to buy it.
* The imperial and metric systems mix freely.
* Politicians lauch campaigns on comedy shows between interviews with members of the Paladins and actors hyping movies.
* You drive on the right side of the road. Pedestrians are fair game, which doesn't stop them.
* Policemen are armed, armored, and still scared out of their minds.
* Riots are the inevitable consequence of a Paladins game.
* Inflation is lowish, and unemployment is holding fairly steady at about 5%
* It's not where you came from, it's where you are now that counts.
* Opera and ballet are seen are rather dull and snottish. Plays, musicals, movies, rock concerts and sports are the main sources of entertainment.
* Christmas is a welcome chance to see family, celebrate the birth of Christ, and yes, give some gifts as well.
* Televangelists are banned. Theological debate talk shows are legal and have a decent audience.

Space and Time

* If you have an appointment, and come five minutes too late, no one expects you. Everyone knows that appointments have quite a delta t
* You shake hands at the start and end of meetings, and keep a fairly large amount of personal space in between.
* Bargaining is acceptable for major purchases, such as TVs and cars.
* When you negotiate, you are honest, bordering on blunt. Speaking your mind is considered to be an encouragable form of honesty.

If you're Pschycotian...


you've never left the region
you've probably practiced sword fighting at least once
you've gotten lost in Honimishu at least 5 times
you've experienced Halloween in Magma City at least once....
and have almost been thrown into the magma by a friend
you've shot a gun
you've seriously considered military duty
you've run from the cops
you've attended at least one boring seminar


If you died tonight...


you'd be judged at the gates of heaven
you'd have a nice, formal funeral
you'd be missed
you'd have your organs removed to benifit someone who still has a chance


Everybody knows that...


the AC calendar is followed
surfing the Magma River just doesn't work
or going over Magma Falls in a barrel
Shinotara Mountains have the best skiing in the region
insulting the Shogun is a big, big mistake
so is insulting a samurai
wearing a sword in public is cool
insulting the government is a no-no
the Black Knights don't exist


Space and Time


If you arrive five minutes late, it's to empty your desk
In Honimishu, expect five miles to take half an hour
Or just take the subway and get a halfinch-by-halfinch standing space
The Pizza Delivery Guy will be on time, or your next pizza is free

any other posts about their culture?

I'll try to get something posted after work.

If you're Romanarian:

You believe in freedom of speech.
You get 2-4 weeks of vacation a year, but you don't always take them.

If you died tonight:

You consider yourself a good Christian, and you expect to go to Heaven.
You own a telephone and a computer. Your place is heated in the winter and you
have indoor plumbing. You don't normally kill your own food, but you do
occasionally go hunting. You don't consider insects, dogs, cats, monkeys,
or guinea pigs to be food.

You expect your phone to work.

You have good public transportation, but you still prefer to drive.

You go to the gym often. Fat people are ugly, but tall people are successful.

You don't expect to hear socialism or communism defended. It's obvious that
private business is better than government.

You learned several languages in school, but you've forgotten them. Unless
you're an international businessman, you don't really need other languages.

Everybody knows that:

Dates are written YYYY/MM/DD

You expect marriages to be made for love. Your parents and hers, have input,
but it's really between you and her.

Homosexuality is a sin.

You expect excellent medical treatment. You expect to live to 70-80.

Crime isn't a problem, at least not where you live. You do hear about crimes in
the poor part of town, but you don't go there anyway. You see quite a few
panhandlers downtown.

If You're Kanamian

You have a deep belife in Democracy

You likely have three diffrent bloodlines

You can't drink or smoke

You know at least Four Languages

You are in Pursuite of the American Dream

You think you might be a decendent of Yasashii Himura

You look at big corperations with suspicion

Commies are your sworn enemy

You know more about the history of the nation, and it's customes than anyone in else in the world in A.P. World History

You wear a school uniform

You are in a Model U.N. Club, or LON Club

You freely where a Kimono on special occasions or causually

If You Died Tonight...

You're porbably in the Military on a Humanitarian Missions

Your house/appartment is well heated

Even if you are of Asian decnent, You don't consider insects, dogs, cats, monkeys, or guinea pigs to be food.

You own a T.V. Radio, Car and Bike

You said your prayers

Most things are controlled or regulated by the Government, which benefites mostly everyone, and you can't see things any diffrent

You would be missed

You find a mulit-party system natural. You expect the politicians of both parties to be responsive to business, strong on defense, and concerned with the middle class, and lower classes

You would likely have a nice funneral

School is free through high school (at least, it's an option, even if you went to private school); college isn't, unless you get a scholarship, or you are speciall Ed.


Everybody Knows That

Dictatorships are inheritally Evil, Un-Regulaed Corperations have No Morals, and steal form the working man, smoking, drinking, and drug use is strictly banned

War is just when it benefits the world, other people, saves hummanity, and makes the world safe for Democracy

Public Nudity is frowned upon, but not forbidden.

Public Bath Houses are only in the west

Marriage is a bond of love, and is rarely made my 3rd parites



Contributions to the World

Yasashii Himura's Democratic Theory may have formed your constitution

You could name several interventions done by Kanami

You count on excellent medical treatment

Police are armed but not with Machine Guns

You may be a farmer

You are educated in any feild you desire, even arts and Agriculture

Outside Carmina Gadalica

You feel like you have equal notice in the Parliment

Christmas is in December, but not in the snow. You'll spend it with freinds and family, Christan or not Christian

You don't mind Welfare, but you still will work for your living


Space and Time


You keep to your appointments, if you're late, you will give an apology and move on

The Pizza Delivery Guy will be on time, or your next pizza is free

Shaking hands is custom for strangers. Hugging for good freinds

If your A Kuronan

You've left the region more than once

You probably live on a Farm

You may have tried sword fighting

Family is the most important thing to you, and you hate how so many take it for granted

You are excited and enthusiatic to take the farm from your parents.

You fell in love and started dating at 13, married at 17, had kids at 19

You have no knowledge of Electricity, or many other modern conviences

You anticpate the next bad storm

Your either Catholic or Shinto. If you are another religion, you are likely to be outcasted by your peers

You may weare a Kimono, or wear Farm Clothes.

If You died Tonight

You didn't own a TV, Radio, Phone, have electricity

You may have drowned at Sea

You might be surrounded by your family

You we're a banker that had to collect the morgage, and you don't have a clean conscious


Everybody Knows

It's best to keep your raincoat handy at all times

If your crops are wipped out, you have to figure out what to do

All Boats are wind power

Farming is the best choice option to be humble before God

Sleeping with your boyfriend isn't necisarly considered sex.

Running Water is the greatest thing since sliced bread

Drugs are illegal

Nudity is only permitted in rurual areas (your own farm) or very hot days, and in art

Contributions

The Princess ending isolationism

Few People are armed, excpet for police. Even farmers aren't usually armed

No lights, furnaces. Very old fassiond

Only the Government has ways of modern communication, but even that is pretty old fassiond

High Morality

High literacy rate

Outside Sonomi

People (men and woment, boys and girls) are morelikely to wear modern clothes (Overalls, Dresses, Pants, t-shirst, tanks jeens etc) as opposed to the Kimonos

More skimpy clothes becuase of the hot weather

Small towns here and there

More Children

If you're Iluvauromen

You believe in equality, freedom - and even more, responsibility and honour.
But you don't necessarily always follow your beliefs.
You buy, on average, two and a half pounds of cheese a month.
Your children will all become soldiers.
Your children will also be proficient in swordsmanship by the time they're nine years old - or be considered very weird by all the other kids.
If you're Human, you'll complain regularly that Nenyar take the 'best jobs'.
If you're a Nenya, you'll complain regularly that the Humans take all the jobs.
If you're Tharash, you don't care about either of the above two complaints, since you don't quite get why you'd need or desire a 'job'.
You don't even flinch at the sight of the Telepathic Eye above shop windows, and are thrilled at the prospect of the shopkeeper knowing precisely what you desire and need.
You consider knives to be dishonourable unless used to butter bread.
You see that a politician slept with his secretary and wonder why the newspaper editor still has a job.
You get out of bed in the morning, shower, cleanse yourself, and then walk to work without any clothes on... and nobody notices.
You think 'obesity' is something that 'those foreigners should do something about'.
Meanwhile, you complain about the massively-voted-for legislation which requires all citizens to exercise every day, and requires gyms to provide facilities free of charge.
You think socialism and capitalism are perfect in unison, but disastrous singularly.
Or you might think something else.
You feel comfortable knowing that those amber-eyed ladies and gents know when you're lying and when you're telling the truth.
But you might be of House Dth'gar if the reverse is true, and you secretly wish you could bring something awful into their existance. But not kill them.
You believe in non-lethality and justice rather than revenge and barbarism. And you wonder why those odd foreigners are so annoyed when you tell them so.
You drool at the thought of Nenya Cheddar.
You are aware but remain blissfully ignorant of the fact that small quantities of opium can be found in sixty percent of all Nenya Cheddar.
You refer to anyone from Arda as 'The Enemy', while maintaining friendly relations with them, and buying the latest album of X Ardan musician.
You see no problem with the above.
You devoutly believe that clothes are for formality and nudity is for relaxation.
You've ever been disgusted when visiting a foreign beach where there is no nudity.
You've ever been bitten by the now extremely-rare indigenous oila (pronounced 'walla') bat (which is in fact a flying insect the size of a fly) and survived.
You're still reading this.


If you died tonight...

You would either believe in an afterlife or not, if Human, varying in all the ways that Human philosophy does on that subject. Most likely, you would believe that you don't know what happens, but it's rather good, and you'd praise Eru for it.
If you were Nenya, you'd similarly have no idea what was coming, but have some vague suspicions about the Halls of Mandos.
If you're an Elf, then you know where you're going because you probably already went there before - even if you don't know it right now. And you'd probably be a bit pissed at whoever killed you, too.


Everybody knows...

That Bao Ling is the greatest mathematician who ever lived. Nobody, however, knows why.
"The how is obvious but the why is needed."
"Two chickens do not make a turkey."
"A screwdriver is a screwdriver is a screwdriver."
A slow, hard, comfortable screw is not a drink. It's the nickname of a fixative used in avionics.
Newspapers always lie about something. The trick, in Iluvauromen, where printing laws are fantastically strict where the truth is concerned, is figuring out which part.
Swords are better than knives.
And swords are better than guns in enclosed spaces.
Arrows are never infinite.
"You can lead a sheep to a goat, but it'll never shag it."
Cheese is the greatest dish known to... any species. Ever.


Contributions
Depending on who you ask...

Nenyatti Script - an easy-to-learn, beautiful alphabet constructed alongside the largely-derived but deeply manipulated High Nenya spoken tongue.
Magnetic impetus - the first and most successful manipulation of magnetic fields to produce an accelerative or decellerative effect.
Twenty thousand dead to save Knootoss.
Arrogance and anger, blood and tears, fear and retribution; hope and joy, smiles and laughter, dreams and desires.
A really, really big ship. Called Valiant.
The ever-growing Sol Stellar Transit Network.
Headaches.
Diplomatic lunacy.

If You're Syskeyian...

You believe in God. You're very likely to be a practicing, orthodox Roman Catholic. Unless you live in the New Nicaea area. Then there's a small chance you are an Orthodox or Conservative Jew, and a smaller chance that you're something other than the aforementioned religious denominations.
You're familiar with Benedict Michael Sukothai (President and First Consul of the Republic), Vincent Ferrer Chalermchai (Strategos Strategôn of the Armed Forces), General Supija (the general who led the Syskeyian Forces in the liberation of St. Peter Claver Island), His Eminence Theophilius Cardinal Sangworn (Archbishop of Syskeyiapolis and Primate of Syskeyia), the Senators from your province (or Commonwealth, if you're from Syskeyian Mars) and various other notables and celebrities.
Your first name is the name of a canonized saint, and your surname is from God knows what Oriental/Indochinese influence (and still, after centuries, your family still can't agree on how to decline its name. Better just leave it "indeclinable.")
More likely than not you're of Oriental stock, and your skin color is somewhere between "yellow" and "brown" ("dark brown/black," if you've got Indian blood in you)
You believe in republicanism, whether it's "mixed government" or "democratic." You've got nothing against other countries having monarchs, but God forbid if someone try to revive the Syskeyian throne.
Your TV viewing habits include cop shows where police chase Knootian drug lords through New Nicaea, various WWII-based and kung-fu action shows, some stuff imported from places like Pantocratoria, Chimaea and Lavenrunz. and a select number of *good* Disney cartoons. (Jake Long is a disgrace to all who live west of Jerusalem.) On a related note, you have very firm views on who characters such as Gadget Hackwrench, Rebecca Cunningham and Ron Stoppable (who is, incidentally, the only Reform Jew, fictional or otherwise, that you've ever been familiar with) should romantically wind up with. But it's no big deal; I mean, it's not like were talking matters of faith, is it?
You've attended shooting festivals ever since you were a little kid, and are quite adept at handling a gun. But you're not a gun nut, no - it's strictly one rifle per person (handgun is optional), and everything is standardized. Not like those Allaneans - they're gun nuts, with all their diversity of firearms and everything (still, they are willing to trade with us, and you can always have a nice chat about shooting, ballistics, and other firearms miscellanea with them.)

If you died tonight...

The local parish priest (or your personal confessor) would give you last rites. You'd go to either Hell, Heaven, or Purgatory (the third of which means you're ultimately going to Heaven.) You're really, really hoping it's one of the latter two.
Fast food... has its ups and downs. One one hand, it is a culinary invasion of the Republic's dining culture and is probably some nefarious method of white ecnomic colonial imperialism. On the other hand, McDonald's fries are the best of their kind, and Pizza Delight is to die for. (Well, not literally...)
Syskeyian pasta is eminently superior to that watery, toned-down stuff they serve in places like Italy and Dread Lady Nathicana (the nation, not the person). Of course, Syskeyia had a head start: your ancestors were learning pasta from the Chinese before Marco Polo ever thought of leaving Venice.
Food nowadays comes from the supermarket, though you can remember there once was a time it came from an open-air market in the village/town/city Forum. You either look back at this nostalgically, or are thankful that the jungle bug aren't eating the produce. Or both.
A restroom has a toilet. A bathroom does too, but it also may have a bath.
You might take the trains somewhere, but more often than not you drive a car, usually from Peacock Motors, Gistalt-Fabricken [That Lavenrunzian company], or some Chimaean company.
You're bilingual: English and Latin. English is the language of international commerce, diplomacy, et cetera, while Latin is the language of the Church, of the scholarly community, of Parliament and the law, and of pop songs. Which tongue you choose to use in conversation is a matter of personal preference. You find it ridiculous when Pantocratorians insist on the superiority of a tongue which is, when you come down to it, very, very bad Latin.
Economic debate boils down to regulated capitalism vs. distributism. Socialism has been DOA ever since Pope Pius XI said that "no one can be at the same time a good Catholic and a true socialist", as has been Communism. You have no problem with Communists as people, as long as they're nice and democratic, like the Constantians, and not tyrannical like the Stalinists and Eurusea, or anti-religious like Lenin and Hogsweat. You wish the Constantians and the Menelmacari would stop hating each other.
Political parties come and go, but there will always be the "government" (the people supporting the President/First Consul) and the "opposition" (those opposing the President/First Consul)...

More to come later...

You are probably not very political, the whole country is armed and the government keeps it's nose out of the affairs of other countries and private citizens except in extreme circumstances.

You're familiar with the band Voodoo Death Syndrome, the Archduke V. Delacroix, His immediate family, the Right Reverend Kamatari Kojiima, Jack Keroac, the Cultured Comedy Communique (a popular tv program that runs most of the night on SPBI 7 and includes standup, sketches, a brief comedy quiz show and light hearted celebrity interviews)

You know how Football is played, Football being Soccer. Ice Hockey is also popular and Rugby has a cult following

You get 3 and a bit weeks off a year, Sundays off are nearly universal except in essential work, and "Head days" or infrequent days off when you feel very down are tolerated.

If you died tonight...
Htere's a 50/50 chance you believe in some form of higher power ; Evangelism is not as prevalent as in other societies however the minority make up for it in perseverence

Fast food is mostly seafood with the odd burger place.

You probably own a telephone, a TV and a computer, Photography is a very common past-time. Your place probably has a fireplace rather than central heating because central heating is unfashionable. You are almost certain to have your own bathroom. You do your laundry in a machine. You don't kill your own food. You eat in a circle, either at a circular table or sat on the floor on cushions.

The train system is fantastically precise and well organized by the government. Cars are therefore not essential and are mainly reguarded as a hobby.

The country is multiracial and people are usually treated on an individual basis, however what might be called "Positive stereotyping" Is surprisingly common, at least in language. People might expect people of a certain race to be better at sports or with money than their own, for example. Newcomers are often surprised by this. People are fascinated by heratige and racial mixing is a matter of course.

You'd probably look down on a skiitian who speaks only spanish and gaelic, maybe even a citizen who speaks only spanish, gaelic and english but not a monolingual foreigner.

School is free. All of it. However academic courses beyond high school are notoriously tough so you probably took something technical, learned a trade.

Mustard comes in jars. You shave with a bar of soap designed for shaving. Milk comes in Bottles or cardboard boxes.

day month year

The decimal point is a dot. It is higher than a full stop, in the middle of the line

A billion is a thousand times a million.

Marriages are legalized by a marriage certificate signed by both or all parties and an ajudicator, usually a religious minister or a civil servant. This may be polyamarous with the permission and foreknowledge of all partners. It may also be homosexual or bisexual. Divorce takes two years and must have a valid reason.

If a man has sex with another man, he may be homosexual, bisexual, or generally heterosexual but in love.

Once you're introduced to someone you can call them by their first name, if they are important, you might call them by their title and first name, "Padre Steven" for example.

If you're a woman, you may well go to the beach topless.

A hotel room has a private bath and/or shower.

You'd rather a film have no subtitles or dubs, but is in it's original language, unless you don't speak a word of the language, which is quite rare. In that case it's subtly subtitled. Dubs are almost unheard of.

You seriously expect to be able to transact business, or deal with the government, without paying bribes. However if you treat someone in a disrespectful manner, you will probably find they won't deal with you at all.

If a politican has been cheating on his wife, you would laugh.

Most transactions are done in cash, cards are usually just to withdraw money from the omnipresent cashpoints

A company can find itself in deep shit by firing someone without a valid reason.

You like most of your meat roasted till it's at near-shoe-leather consistency.

Contributions to world civilization
You've probably seen Phantom, Donkey Brother, Do Thrice, Counting Coins,
You know Voodoo Death Syndrome, Posh Wank, Silk Cut, Western Civilisation, Pacman Warriors, Hive Mind, and Jimmi Jimmi.

You keep good care of your body. You expect very strong measures to be taken to save very ill babies or people in their eighties. You think dying at 65 would be a tragedy.
You got a well rounded education in world history.
You expect the military to defend the territories, Not get involved in foreign wars except in circumstances such as mass genocide.
Comics and graphic novels range from disposable pulp fiction or lowbrow humour to high literature.
The people who appear on the most popular talk shows are generally athletes, singers, movie stars, authors and comedians.
You drive on the right side of the road. You stop at red lights even if nobody's around. If you're a pedestrian and cars are stopped at a red light, you will fearlessly cross the street in front of them.

the Avoided Islands used to be an independant nation consisting of many small islands conected by bridges to the south, however after severe unrest the country eventually ceceded to Skittletopia.
if a VW beetle were ever brought to Skittletopia, it would be considered an ugly small car.
The police are armed with compact BULPUP automatic rifles, because the citizens are so well armed.
Obesity is really rare, the few obese people usually have a medical condition.
The biggest meal of the day is breakfast. It is normally a fried or grilled affair with fruit juice and coffee.
There's parts of the city you definitely want to avoid at night. Not because you might get hurt but because you might see something weird.
Outside the Beltway

You don't care very much what family someone comes from.
The normal thing, when a couple dies, is for their estate to be divided equally between their children.
You think of opera and ballet as rather elite entertainments, You may watch the odd play.
Christmas is in the winter. If you are an athiest you probably don't celibrate it and instead have a bigger new year's party.

You are not a vegitarian.

Taxis seem decadent, the train system works great.
You accept welfare and temporary out of work payments as facts of life
If you want to be a doctor, you need to get a bachelor's first.
Space and time
Appointments are a lot rarer than informal meals together except for medical appointments.
Simply showing up at people's houses is not uncommon but people generally invite each other over-- especially if a meal is involved.
When you negotiate, you both aim to trade fairly and as equals.
If you have a business dinner with someone, you expect to have that person's attention as far as possible, and small talk takes place before and after business.

If you were from Fourhearts


You would have a deep longing for the Sky
Your at home on an airship
Your patron saint is Saint Tiffany, Patron Saint of Skyward Travellers
Even if you're Protestant
You feel in love with the Region of Texas as soon as you tried the food
Your highly involved in local politics and have your own opinions on how the national government should be run
You have a certain disdain for helicopters and jets. They are inferior to Airships
You listen to your intuition
If you're male, you served at least two years in the Airship Fleets.


If you died tonight


You would go to Heaven, unless your not Christain. Then most Heartsmen are openminded enough not to ask where you're going
Your ashes would be scattered on the next windy day
If you served in the military, you're family would have the Fourhearts Flag presented to them.


Everyone knows

You pay for your fajitas in Credits
That you drink your tea cold and you put cherries in your cola, not lemons
That if you want to win the ladies, you need to know how to use a sword
If your flying, take your jacket
The UN needs some serious reform in respect to NatSov
Prince Drake is the World's Most Eligible Bachelor
Which is why he spends so much time on the airships (to avoid the mob).
Psycics don't exsist, but other nations seem to think that you can predict the future.
The most common response to this, is that "By the SKY! What do you mean you didn't see that one coming!"



Contributions

Perfected Airship Design
World's leading developer of wind based power


Space and Time

You arrive to an appointment 15 min early, even if you're just drinking a soda
Airships use the tradewinds to get to thier destinations faster
There's Juliana, and then there is the countryside

If you're from Aqua Anu

You know who the Queen and who the Princess are

You know Water Polo is the Sport Aqua Anu plays; you know it is done in the pool, and in the water. If you are really daring, in the open ocean.

You think the Government is too flip-floppy.

You most likely belive in God, or something of that nature

You Likely work in relation to the water

You are likely a nudist

You're rain coat hangs out day and night

You live in an apartment.

If you died tonight...

You're fairly likely to believe in God; if not, you've certainly been approached
by people asking whether you know that you're going to Heaven.

You think of fish as cheap food

You probably own a telephone and a TV. Your place is air conditiond year round, and has its own bathroom. You do your laundry in a machine, hang them to dry in the breez.
You eat at a table, sitting on chairs.

You don't consider insects, dogs, cats, monkeys, or guinea pigs to be food.

A bathroom may not have a bathtub in it, but it certainly has a toilet.

It seems natural to you that the telephone system, and power companies are Governmently ran; indeed, you can hardly picture things working differently.

You may have saild the ocean more than 100 times

You find the Duocratic-Parliamentary systems (Dominated by the Queen and Princess) efficient.

You think most problems could be solved if only people would put aside their prejudices and work together.

You take a strong court system for granted, even if you don't use it. You know that if you went into business and had problems with a customer, partner, or supplier, you could take them to court.

You'd respect someone who speaks any language and the schools should teach kids More

You think a tax level of 100% is scandalously high.

School is free through high school (at least, it's an option, even if you went to private school); college isn't, unless you get a scholarship.

College is (normally, and excluding graduate study) four years long.


Everybody knows that

Water has to be filterd and purfied, before it can be ran through the cannales, or the faucets.

The date comes second

The decimal point is a dot. Certainly not a comma.

A billion is a thousand times a million.

You expect marriages to be made for love, or arranged. Getting married by a judge is an option, but not a requirement; most marriages happen in church, or along the beach front. You have a best man and a maid or matron of honor at the wedding-- a friend or a sibling. And, naturally, a man gets only one wife at a time.

If a man has sex with another man, he's a homosexual.

Once you're introduced to someone (well, besides the President and other lofty figures), you can call them by their first name.

If you're a woman, you can go to the beach topless.

A hotel room has a private bath.

All High Schools are Unisex, bathrooms, lockers and showers in all.

Hurricanes are year round

You'd rather a film be dubbed than subbed. (if you go to foreign films at all).

You seriously expect the Water Plants to be top noch

If a politican has been cheating on his wife, you would question his ability to govern.

Just about any store will take your Aqua Coins.

A company can fire just about anybody it wants, unless it discriminates by doing so.

You like your bacon crisp

Princess Subaru is a Pacifistic Catholic, but her mother (the Queen) is an Agressive Agonist.

Contributions to world civilization

You've probably played Aqua Polo, have seen the lax nudity laws You know Princess Subaru, and.

You count on excellent medical treatment. You know you're not going to die of cholera or other Third World diseases. You expect very strong measures to be taken to save very ill babies or people in their eighties. You think dying at 65 would be a tragedy.

You went over AA history, and some World History.

You expect the military to fight wars, not get involved in politics. You may not be able to name the head of the Defense.

Your country has never been conquered by a foreign nation.

You're used to a wide variety of choices for almost anything you buy.

You still measure things in feet, pounds, and gallons.

You are a fisherman

The people who appear on the most popular talk shows are entertainers, politicians, strange individuals, and authors.

No need for cars when you have Cannales and boats. If you're a pedestrian

You don't want to fall into the cannals

The police are armed, but not with submachine guns.

If a woman is plumper than the average, it doesn't improve her looks. ALhtough most are thin

The biggest meal of the day is in the evening.

There's parts of the city you definitely want to avoid at night.

Outside the Capital

You feel that your kind of people aren't being listened to enough in Mac Anu

You wouldn't expect both inflation and unemployment to be very high (say, over 15%) at the same time.

You don't care very much what family someone comes from.

The normal thing, when a couple dies, is for their estate to be divided equally between their children.

You think of opera and ballet as rather elite entertainments. It's likely you don't see that many plays, either.

Christmas is in Dec. Family, give presents, and put up a tree.

You'd be hard pressed to name the capitals or the leaders of all the nations of Europe.

You aren't familiar with Mafalda, Lucky Luke, Corto Maltese, Milo Manara, Guido Crepax, Gotlib, or Moebius.

You've left a message at the beep.

If you want to be a doctor, you need to get a bachelor's first.

There sure are a lot of lawyers.

Space and time

If you have an appointment, you'll mutter an excuse if you're five minutes late, and apologize profusely if it's ten minutes. An hour late is almost inexcusable.

If you're talking to someone, you get uncomfortable if they don't approach closer than about two feet.

About the only things you expect to bargain for are apartments, boats, and antiques.

Haggling is largely a matter of finding the hidden point that's the buyer's minimum.

Once you're past college, you very rarely simply show up at someone's place. People have to invite each other over-- especially if a meal is involved.

When you negotiate, you are polite, Some foreigners pay excessive attention to status, or don't say what they mean, and that's exasperating.

If you're Oliverrian

You believe that attacking is the best solution to everything.
You know Olivier Turcotte, Jean-Alan Bellemort and especially virtually every hockey player in the world.
You believe that surrendering is a good thing for humanity
You think that 2 things exist in the world: Hockey and French language
You're most likely to speak French. If you don't, you speak English. If you don't, you're thrashworthy.
Your main religion is Catholicism aka... "Speaking French and saying swear words such as calisse, tabarnac and hostie"
Your neighbour is most likely to be communist and loving hockey

If you died tonight...

You expect to surrender to death
You think Poutine d'Aréna is the best food ever.
You own a TV, a Radio, a Computer, a poster of any hockey player, a table in form of a fleur-de-lys and a book intitulated "Comment sacrer en 30 mots"(How to swear correctly with 30 words). You eat at a table, you don't kill your own food, unless you want to eat some Limbrogidlian ribs
You don't consider dogs, cats, monkeys, insects or guinea pigs to be food
A bathroom has a toilet, A toilet room has a bath
It is normal that everything is owned by government-owned companies, excepted for cities.
You expect phones to work. If they don't, you surrender because you don't want to spend money on it.
You use a fleurdelys car to go everywhere
You think the Neo-Democratic party (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Parti_Neo-Democrate_de_Oliverry) is far right and the Communist Party (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Parti_Communiste_de_Oliverry) is far left
English, Limbrogidlian and Foreign are nationalities
You think most problems could be solved if only people started to speak French.
You are likely to surrender before being able to sue someone
You know how to speak French, Franglish and Ençais
Paying for Education is criminal


Everybody knows that

Shaving cream comes in cans, Milk comes in a pint and Toothpaste comes into an unbreakable jar
The date is DD/MM/YY
The decimal point is a comma
A thousand million is "milliard", not billion
You expect marriages to be celebrated in front of a justice, which are usually priests dressed up as justices.
If a man has sex with another man, you're walking to him to wonder how interesting it is.
You call people by their first name, even if the person is very important.
If your a woman, you will probably be topless everywhere, but no one tries.
A hotel-room is usually very crowded.
You watch foreign movies. They usually are in your language, but, when they're not, you take the Hockey Canadian version.
Transacting business is usually done with Totally Inflated Yens, especially bribes.
If a politician has been cheating his wife, nobody cares as we all know he's gay.
You try to transfer money from an account to another, but no bank want you to do so.
You own a credit card with a limit of 500 oliver dollars. You pay everything in Totally Inflated Yen
You like your bacon crusty

"On le prend-tu hostie?"

If you are fatter than average, people will look at you strangely, if you are taller than average, you knock your head everywhere.
You're used to buy anything you want... as long as the Totally Inflated Yens you got are not completely devalued by the time you buy it.
You use metric everywhere... excepted for height and weight
Chances are high you work for a private company. If you live in Côte-Ouest, you might be a prostitute.
The people who appear on most popular shows are people with no lives, which means Rejistanians usually are on those shows.
You think a Ford is reliable, but you think a Peugeot sucks.
You drive with a can of beer between your legs
Policemen are armed with surrendering arms and things that hurt(like Windows ME)
There are areas you want to avoid, but they're not on a girl for sure
Inflation is lowish, and unemployment is 'unexistant'
You care about the language of the person you're talking about
Raves and Discotheques are classy places. But you wonldn't miss a hockey game for anything.
Christmas is so important for ya that one of your children gets disguised as baby Jesus.
You want to kill every religious show hosts
Watching lawyers at the TV is very usual.

Space and Time

If you have an appointment, you're going to come by late because of the 1000th repeat broadcast of the Cherry Cup 9 final
If you're talking to someone, you are thinked as an uncultured person, but you tell them the UN did not put forward a motion forbidding Oliverry to have a culture.
You can't bargain as surrendering is part of your culture.
It is very common that Jehovah's Witnesses are getting lynched... in your house
You are not likely to negociate as you are most likely to surrender in the next five minutes.

bump

If you are from Emerald Springs

You belive you are un-oppresed

You know who the royal family is

You are very likely to be religious

You speak your native toung mostly, though you may learn a language or two

You either fish, farm, or do business. Only the excpeptionally talented do things such as compose, or make movies

Hot springs are where it's at

You or your family may not be fully modernized,

You are likely to marry very young

You see atheists and agonists as immoral and corupted people.

If you died tonight...

You would have a day of mourning and a day of conservative celebration (Family party, for reflection and stuff) and you would be greatly missed

You probably died at sea

You may have been stupid enough to fall asleep in the hot springs

You may/may not own a TV, or radio. You may/may not own a Computer, or fancy gizmos

You may have died from old age

You mostlikey attended Church

Everybody knows that....

The royal family has the final say, but it never hurts to express your opinion

You won't have your head chopped off for criticizing the king, nor will you be incarsirated

Full Nudity is not allowed, just partial

Their are 10 children in the Royal Family

The king adopts a new name (Ex. King Ludokai was Robert Lamante)

Hot Springs Are Desulferized, and cold springs are for summer

Christmas is in December, w/ or w/o snow

You like your Bacon Crisp

You don't eat meat raw

Homosexuality is considered odd, and unnatural

You can't chose your king, but you can chose your senators

Out Side the Capital

Your senators do all the talking

You think the world could care less about some tiny island that is finally catching up to the modern world

You see more Torandos

You use the Standard System More often

You drive a truck

You dress more skimply



Space and Time

Hugs are for family and good freinds. Otherwise a hand shake will do.

You don't mind being close to people, unless they ask you to please move away

The only thing you can haggle for is farm land and boats

Girls and Boys don't mind sharing a hot spring

Once you're past college, you very rarely simply show up at someone's place. People have to invite each other over-- especially if a meal is involved

When you negotiate, you are polite, of course, but it's only good business to 'play hardball'. Some foreigners pay excessive attention to status, or don't say what they mean, and that's exasperating.

If you are more than a half-hour late, and don't have a damn good excuse, you are in trouble

If you're Undershi...

- You're either an atheist or pretending to be one while practicing your religious beliefs in secret.
- You know all about soccer, football, basketball and hockey, but not so competitive sports aren't that popular - baseball, for instance, has almost no following.
- There's a one in four chance that you are a two meter tall super-human genetically altered True Undershi.
- If you're a True Undershi, you get one vacation day a year. If you're not, you get five days.

If you died tonight...

- There would be a secular remembrance ceremony, and then you would be cremated.
- If you are rich or middle class, or True Undershi of any social status, then your family likely owns a radio, a telephone, a TV and a computer, although what content is accessable is strictly controlled. Even poor people have at least a phone and a radio.
- Rich people have individual bathrooms and live in large houses, middle class families have, on average, one bathroom for the family (of two in the case of True Undershis), and live in either small houses or large apartments. Poor people, on the other hand, none of which are True Undershis, live in small apartments, with one bathroom for every two-to-three families.
- The government runs the infastructure, public services, most heavy industry, and, through its rationing system, most shops.
- If you are a True Undershi, you don't just expect things to work, you know they'll work. If you're not, then you expect things to generally work, although you won't be suprised if they occassionally fail.
- Train travel is free, and the train system is excelent, allowing for faster trips than car rides would.
- The High Command runs the entire country like everyone was a member of the military, and they were the generals.
- The phrase "norm" is used to refer to anyone who has not been genetically altered, and is an accepted phrase - although it does have some insulting conotations.
- You are likely not to have anything to do with the legal system at all unless you commit or witness a crime.
- Education is free and compulsory.
- The government pays you mostly in Ration Cards, which it uses to control the market without bothering to centralize production.

Everyone Knows That:

- Milk, juice, mustard, ketchup, shaving creme and most other consumer products come in recyclable plastic containers.
- The date is DD/MM/YY.
- Homosexuality is as legal as non-reproductive heterosexual sex - that is to say, it is not approved of, but it is legal.
- All True Undershi women are expected to have at least four children. (who are then taken away, surgically altered and raised by the government).
- All True Undershi children are taken from their parents at eight weeks of age, to be raised in "Boarding Boot-Camp".
- It is impolite, for both men and women, to show skin above the ankle, above the elbow or below the neck - no matter how hot it is.
- Everyone has a uniform with insignia showing their rank that they are to wear, although "civilians" also have insignia-less versions that they can wear to informal events.
- If someone outranks you, you refer to him/her as sir/mam.
- Flogging is a common punishment.
- If a politician was cheating on his wife (governmentally assigned mate), the scandal would be that he was having sex for a reason other than reproduction, but it would only be about as big a deal as it would be in most other countries if that same politician ran a red light. The same would hold true if it were a homosexual affair.
- Only prostitutes wear high heels.
- The police are armed with the same gear as the average soldier would be.
- Weapons ownerships is not only legal, but compulsory - it's like a cross between the Swiss militia method and the National Guard, with the heavy weapons being kept in armories while each household would have infantry kit and weaponry stored in boxes under their beds.
- Foreigners are silly.

If you're ESFian

You believe that a life should be lived as pure as it can be and that not to do so is a waste of life.
You're familiar with the Great Leader Tobias Raynor (Head of State), Zacharius, Kyla Night, Martin St. Louis, Dwier Titenburg(football players), The High Priestess (controls all relgious cermonies), Jas Hatire(first hero), Ron Santapa and Marcus Reven (sports columnists), Jennifer Sar (former actress, footballer, and current head coach of the Womens Football squad), The Raynor and Angelotic families (prodominiant ruling families over the last 5,000 years) and General Duke and Admiral Demot (last surviving member of the Military Council)
You however are not sure which family is ruling the nation at any given time
You know Footbal l(which is very important in the nation) and ice hockey, you might know basketball, baseball, and giridiron exist, but that's it unless you have come from another nation.
Three to six weeks of vacation are unheard of

If you died tonight...

You expect that your spirtual energy will move on to the Grey Havens
You think Fast Food is sold in small stands at public places
You probably own a telephone, if not, know many public telephones in your area, you most likely own a radio and a TV. You do your laundry in a machine, even though it might not be your own. You don't kill your own food. You don't have a dirt floor. You eat at a table, sitting on chairs.
You don't consider dogs, cats, monkeys, or guinea pigs to be food, some insects are tasty however
A bathroom must have a bathtub and sink in it but not a toilet.
It is normal that roads, internet infrastructure and public transport are run by the government and competing companies power plants are run by the companies that own them.
You expect telephones to work, getting a new phone is routine unless you are in the middle of nowhere.
The train system is non-existant, in fact you have nop idea what a train is.
Flying domestically is perfectly normal
You expect that the Great Leader will do what is right for the nation, the Senate will make laws that suit current circumstances, and the Military Council's actions are complete secret.
'Black' and 'foreign' are insulting slurs
You think most problems could be solved if only people would start working together for a change.
You are not likely to sue anyone or be sued
You know no foreign languages, only ancient elvish and english
Education is free until college level(at least as option)


Everybody knows that

Shaving cream comes in cans, milk comes in bottles, mustard comes in jars but no one buys it
The date is DD/MM/YY
The decimal point is a dot not a comma in mid height
A thousand million is billion
You need to write trailing zeros
You expect marriages to be made out of choice or reason, but not against the consent of the couple. The marriage is confirmed by a government official, religious ceremonies are optional but common
If a man has sex with another man, he is homosexual and you could care less about other peoples private lives
You call people by their last name followed in formal situations, but by first in casual
If your a woman, you can go to the beach topless or nude, but you probably will not
a hotel room has a seperate bathroom
you watch foreign films if time allows for it, but it usually doesn't
You don't own a credit card, or a ATM card. Stores only accept silver coins.
A company can fire an individual only for a reason and a larger group of people only after discussion with the trade unions
You like your bacon soft

Space and Time

If you have an appointment, and come five minutes too late, no one expects you. Everyone knows that appointments have deadlines
If you're talking to someone, you do not get uncomfortable if they want any kind of body contact like shaking hands.
When you negotiate, you are polite. This sometimes means not stating clearly what you mean, but you are okay with that.

If you're HotRodian...

You believe in liberty, responsibility, money, and maybe even a deity.
You have gasoline in your veins.
You have been to a race by the time you were 10 days old.
You treat everybody with the same degree of respect (or lack thereof).

If you died tonight...

It would probably be peacefully in your sleep.
If not, then it was probably spectacularly violent and involving a car.
And you're an adherent of Combustianism, you'll be going to the Great Car Show in the Sky.


Everybody knows that

Sex is never free, though you may not have to pay money for it.
Life is like a race series, there are very few leaders and a hell of a lot of followers.
Science is great, but not a substitute for a genuine understanding of life.
Religion, poorly understood, will get your ass kicked.
Marriage is something they take very seriously in other nations, but here it's just another religious ceremony.
If a man has sex with another man, you make fun of him for only having one partner.
You say "howdy" to everyone, unless you know their native language, and then you use the equivalent.
Nudity is common among the few rich who can lay around all day, but for the vast majority who have jobs, clothing is a practical necessity.
You don't blink an eye when working with an AI or non-human.
You think of the entire economy as a black market.
If a politician has been cheating on his wife, you wonder when the hell HotRodia got politicians.
A company can fire an individual whenever they want, but firing is rare because HotRodians generally have a good work ethic and get along well with their employer.


Space and Time

If you have an appointment, you sure as hell better keep it, and if someone has an appointment with you they're not going to wait for you even if you're royalty.
If you're talking to someone, you're probably just being friendly or you want something from them.
When you negotiate, you are as polite as you can be, and as harsh as necessary. Negotiating with force is always an option.

If you're Istibelstin

* You believe in no god(s) forbidden by federal law
* You're either a support of INC(Istibelstien National Council), CFI(Coalition For a Free Istibelstien), or the Traditionalist Party
* You touch the top of every door you walk into
* You know Football(soccer), Aussie Rules Football, Rugby, and Cricket
* You probably work more than one job

If you died tonight...

* Your family would inform a body disposal task force and they would take it to a cremation site, where a small funeral of only immediate family would be held.
* You think Fast Food is sold in small stands at public places
* You own a LAN line phone, cell phones were banned after the second Terror War.
* You where a neck band to hide your bar code at all times
* Men and Women use the small bathrooms
* Cars are banned, there is a high speed train system that goes across the nation, you use those walk or bike.
* Most citizens own guns in case of another war or a CFI revolution
* Planes haven't been used publicly for 3 1/2 although members of the INC use them
* You don't vote. INC and CFI met once every three months and discuss the goings on of the nation
* Populations skin color: 74% Arabic(AKA:NATS) 12% Black(AKA:Poppers) 13% White(AKA: Traits) 1% Other(AKA: Mutes)
* Most people know how to duel
* The court system is efficient and strong, but has flaws.
* You are required to know 3 languages before entering the work force, preferably: Istibelstinian, Zachestienian, Ero(used mostly in Central Istibelstin)
* Taxes go straight to the Government, you get no refund of any kind
* Public and Private schools are banned, everyone is home school


Everybody knows that

* Traditionalists suck
* The date is DD/YY/MM
* A=B B=C A=C
* There is no number beyond 1,897,458.
* You use lines to depict numbers: 1 is | 2 is || etc. Until ten, ten is \
* You can not be married unless you get it signed off by parental units of both families, a government official, a military official, and a Tax Supervisor
* Homosexuality is completely normal
* AIDS is a myth invented by the Traits and the Mutes
* Both women and men are required by law to swim naked
* Sex is talked about and done casually.
* All movies are in Istibelstinian, any not in Istibelstinian is banned until translated
* Most boys will go into Arms manufacture, business or politics and most women into Trout farming, Basket weaving or Transportation
* You don't carry cash around, you carry it all of little cards called CRDC
* If you are fired from a business, you have the right to challenge the CEO to a duel, if you win you take his job
* Bacon is illegal throughout eastern ISB(Istibelstin)

"It is a deal, su?"

* The more you get paid, the more you pay taxes
* Most people live in poverty. Except those in high power at INC
* If you don't like INC you have three choices: 1. Join CFI, 2. Join Bel' Devourer(a terrorist group that has attacked INC many times)3. Flee for Zachestien
* If you make friends with a high ranking politician, you social status is bound to increase
* There are only four channels available for the general public
* There are no traffic laws, most of the time the streets are very crowded
* Policemen are armed with guns and have permission to kill unruly criminals
* The west is where the INC supporters are, The Central regions the CFI, and the east a mix of CFI, Traditionalist and Bel' Duvure
* Ethnic scruffies are common, especially among Nats and Traits
* Opera was banned in the early years of the INC because they don't like the sound
* All religious groups are banned


Space and Time

* It is possible to travel through time. The scientists just haven't figured out how yet
* The space program is practicly unexsistant

bump

If you're a resident of the Holy Monastic Republic


You believe in Christianity as defined by the teachings of the Orthodox Church (technically you believe that the Orthodox Church is the only Christian church, but you are sadly aware of the existence of hell-bound heretics)
You're at least familiar with The Archregimand (the representative of the Basileus in the Monastic Republic) and the members of the Holy Synod (the actual government)
Any other knowledge of famous residents of the Monastic Republic depends on whether you're a hermit or not.
Despite your devotion to a life of prayer and the search for theosis - or unity with God - you have a strange interest in football/soccer, though largely as a missionary opportunity
Any losses in football by the national team are probably the result of a Catholic conspiracy.
weeks and weeks of fasting are normal
you haven't seen a woman in years - women aren't permitted into the Holy Monastic Republic except under exceptional circumstances.

If you died tonight...

While recognising that you are an unworthy sinful wretch of a monk, you would nonetheless hope that the Lord in His infinite but unknowable wisdom would save you from eternal damnation in the firey pits of Hell and permit you the eternal bliss of union with God through His energies (though not, of course, through His essence).
You think Fast Food is mushrooms rather than lentils.
Telephones? Aren't they demon-possessed modern technology?
Bathrooms? Only sinners wash.
You think most problems could be solved through conversion of heretics and heathens to the Orthodox Church
You wonder what income tax is as all 'property' is held communally by your home monastery. It worked for the early Christians of Antioch as described in Acts, didn't it?

Everybody knows that

The date of the Second Coming is known only to God
Noon is at sunrise, midnight is at sunset.
The Gregorian calender is for heretics (though the revised Julian might just about be permissable under certain circumstances)
You expect marriages to be a sacred union between man and woman - though since humans are sinners and err, you're not as hung up on divorce as those Catholic schismatics. But as you're unlikely to ever see a woman, this is a bit of a moot point, isn't it?
If a man has sex with another man, he is a sinner, and no monk.
foreign films are probably demonically-inspired
You only eat bacon out of the various fasting seasons.

"May our Lord and Saviour bless this deal"

Who wants to use these 'metric' measurements? Cubits worked for Noah, didn't they?
Chances are high that you are praying in a monastery, tending the fields, working in the library, or eating in a refectory. Though not all at the same time, obviously.
Cars? Side of road? You walk down the middle of the path, with gratitude to the Lord for showing you the Christian way.
You don't care about what ethnic group or family someone comes from, as faith in Orthodox Christianity is far more important
Opera and ballet involved sinful displays of flesh, and you'd never go near either.
Christmas is a joyful celebration of the Nativity of our Saviour, but not nearly as important as Pascha [Easter]
Televangelists seems like a strange concept to you - one of the few things Orthodox monks and Rejistanians agree on.
Lawyers seem like a strange concept to you as well. If one lives a true Christian life, they're surely unnecessary?

Space and Time

Liturgical appointments in one's home monastery are rigorously kept; other appointments less so.
It is common that people from neighbouring monasteries visit each other for intense theological debate
No one visits hermits, however - they visit you. If and when they feel like it.

If you're An Esteemed Resident Of The Darajisou Orbital

• You believe in truth, beauty, freedom, love and pretty anything else you want, business is usually one of the more prominent beliefs, aside from your religion which could be one of an innumerable and sometimes bewildering selection.
• You're familiar with your neighbors and the Children Of The White Eye, who as your hosts you regard with a mixture of suspicion and respect.
• Vacation time is taken whenever you damn well please, and for as long as you want, so long as you’re not too committed to that whole eating lark.
• As a resident you were probably attracted by its anarchistic business opportunities or its libertarian spirit of discovery, either way any style of government would seem very out of place to you, no matter what you experience back in the Father/Mother/Birth-Unit Land
• You're familiar with a wide range of shows and entertainments which percolate down to you, though you are often out of touch with the fashions of the wider galaxy.
• Sports are often difficult to play due to space limitations, board games can be taken very seriously, in recent years Chasok’ Khars’ Passage Through Yert has become quite popular, though no-one seems to know where Yert is.

If you died tonight...

• You expect to be reincarnated/raptured to heaven/speared on the great toasting fork of Holy Lammask/Sold for scrap or some other quite possibly unhinged belief you happen to hold. Religion being both omnipresent and diverse.
• You think Fast Food is a reasonable but not terribly promising profession.
• You probably own all number of communication devices, but think that a universal grid for such things is a dangerous idea.
• You consider anything that doesn’t melt metal, and possibly even then, as food, though checking that it isn’t a fellow resident is sometimes necessary.
• A bathroom may not have a bathtub, but then it might have a hydraulic steam well or a mud loosening gourdbird, there’s really no telling it depends on how much space you’ve managed to secure for yourself.
• Infrastructure as a whole is a mishmash serviced by whoever has taken it upon themselves to do such a thing, certainly not run by the White Eyes, though towards the core a very efficient train service appears to be under their control.
• Transit is usually conducted on foot, or by small rickshaws manpowered or otherwise, though cable cars and monorail trains have been put in place in some of the older parts of the orbital.
• Flying domestically is a necessary part of getting to one of the satellite instillations not yet absorbed into the super structure.
• You expect more constant debate about the proper forms of government one should adopt, and some pretty strong views on the government, but you wouldn’t dream of enacting any of them right now, best to wait until one of the generation ships launch, that’s what they’re for after all.
• Skin colour can be anything imaginable, though its not always kind on the eye.
• You think most problems could be solved if only the next influx of residents had something you could barter for this time.
• You are not likely to sue anyone or be sued, but you may well hire someone to make your grievance known, killing them would be considered rude though.
• You know foreign languages, though some know the language of the White Eyes its not commonly spoken, you largely have to rely on translators.
• Tax is an anathema to you.
• Education is often a conducted by computer software or the members of a community sub group respected enough to carry out such a task.

Everybody knows that

• Shaving cream comes in once a month from the eat dock or you’ll have to make it yourself. Milk, especially from larger animals can be quite rare and usually arrives in Barrels, hopefully not previously containing anything toxic. Mustard is home grown.
• The date is DD/MM/YY, though what year it is exactly can be a point of contention, the day and month is set by the White Eyes.
• A tricksy little fellow you should watch out for during a business transaction.
• A thousand million is a larger number than you hope you’ll have to deal with.
• You expect marriages to be raucous and entertaining, you see little point in arranged marriages as there’s no legal backing to them anyway.
• If a man has sex with another man, he is homosexual though you may often find it difficult to establish the gender of a couple anyway, or even another member of your own species in some cases.
• You call people by whatever they introduce themselves as, no questions asked.
• If your a woman, you can go to the beach topless or nude, but as there are no beaches the option remains largely academic, anyway with some of the more frondy residents its difficult to tell which bits are clothes and which and organ.
• A hotel room is a luxury, shouldn’t you be staying with friends?
• You watch foreign films, subbed or dubbed, you’ve seen some pretty strange films pass through in your time.
• Transacting business is a matter of barter and a firm exchange of views, bribes oil the wheels of your progress.
• If a prominent social figure has been cheating on its mate, you hope for their sake that their mate doesn’t have sharp claws or poison sacks.
• You don't own a credit card, such things seem like a lie in plastic form.
• A company can fire an individual if they wish, but if its terribly unjust, or the individual is terribly popular they might except some expensive resistance.
• You like all sorts of meat, and any way you can get it.
• You’ve never heard of Labour Day, but any excuse for a party right?

"I’ve heard two tons of the stuff are coming in on the fourth."

• If you are plumper than average, your doing well for yourself.
• You're used to having a wide variety of choices for almost anything you buy-- if you can afford it, of course.
• You often use some entirely inscrutable measurement system in private, in public people largely favour metric.
• Chances are high that your either an artist, self styled visionary, or entrepreneur, if you really can’t make it in the business world the White Eyes will give you a job but its seen as defeatist by many.
• Talk Shows often arrive several months or years late and may involve anything from a famous person to a painting of a small rock.
• You think the VW Beetle is a rain God, a type of hand lotion and cure for a liver disease, for those possessing a liver. However as a car you would consider it unnecessary bulky, and certainly bad for health.
• You drive on any side of the road you life, though streets are often so narrow only one way is permitted by the residents, whichever way they happen to be going when they meet you.
• Policemen are unheard of, crime can be a problem but vigilante groups and in extreme cases the White Eyes keep it from becoming too bad.
• There are areas you want to avoid, often because the breath an atmosphere toxic to you.
• Inflation is something Guldin Expanding Tree Snakes do.
• You care about what species someone comes from, though usually more for convenience.
• Opera and ballet are unheard of, though a huge number of public and private forms of entertainment are practiced.
• Christmas is a good chance to less some stuff you’ve been trying to shift for month, and an excuse to throw a noisy party and wake up the local hibernators.
• Televangelists are common but largely ignored.
• Lawyers seem pointless to you.

Space and Time

• You get uncomfortable any time someone famous in the outside galaxy visits, and don’t like the attention it attracts.
• There is a rumbling worry that one day some upstart government is going to try and get a cut of the profits.
• Slavery is frowned upon by most communities as it disrupts the labour market, but is still often conducted discreetly in the satellite instillations.
• Even if you came just for the chance to make some money, or for the good trade, every time one of the generation ships sets off to found a new civilization you can’t help but get swept up in the atmosphere of it and be tempted to go on the next one.
• You have no idea who the White Eyes really are, or who their mysterious leader or teacher is, but you don’t really feel threatened by it as they don’t interfere with you.
• Despite the trials of living in the orbital you often take comfort in the fact that there’s rarely a dull moment.
• You have learnt to be very careful about what you put in your mouth.
• You’ve also learnt to be very careful about what you judge to be the mouth of someone else.
• Your life expectancy is quite good as your food is usually quite healthy and exercise is plentiful, chances of a violent death are not intolerably high.

If you are a Believer in the Lord of Hosts (we have no non-Believers, Thank God):

• You believe in the Lord of Hosts and follow His Laws as related and interpreted by the Prophets/Rabbis.
• You are familiar with the names of Moshiach Tzidkeinu (head of Government), Rabbi Shalom Yosef Eliashiv (Head of the Sanhedrin, our High religious Court & Legislature), and your local Rabbi.
• You pray 2-3 times a day, every day. You study our religious texts and traditions in your free time, on a regular basis.

If you died tonight…
• You'd stand to trial before the Heavenly Court, sent to Purgatory for a duration depending on how well you conducted your life and followed the Law and Customs, and then enjoy Paradise till the Resurrection in the End of Days.

• You may have heard that TV is some screen similar to a Computer Monitor, but where you only have a limited number of Channels to choose from, all of which show Immoral Things, except when they show News.
• You own an Internet-connected Computer, which also serves for VOIP telephone, videoconference & radio Internet access outside LOH is reserved for very few Officials. You own a cellular phone only if it is deemed necessary for you by your local Rabbi.
• You eat only Kosher ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kashrut ) food.
• You have a toilet in your home bathroom and a water reservoir in your backyard, that fills up every winter. You have a thorough shower & bathe in a Public Mikveh ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mikvah ) or Hamam ( http://www.allaboutturkey.com/hamam.htm) at least once a week, and use a pile of water Solarly heated to wash yourself on a daily basis.
• There are no railroads. Most people ride a donkey, a horse, or a cart driven by one or more horses, donkeys or mules. Rabbis in Official Buisiness use solar-powered winged chariots.
• You expect Electricty & the Internet to always work.
• There are no elections and no Political parties. Believers of Jewish, Arab and Other origin enjoy full citizenship and there is no discrimination based on race, gender etc. (See http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11700988&postcount=33 for a list of our Government members).
• You think all problems can be solved by Divine Providence.
• You don't sue anyone or get sued; you go to your local Rabbinical Court for Arbitration. There are no Lawyers, only Legal advisors.
• You don't shave unless you are female; if you are male, you grow a beard, a small moustache and long sidelocks, all of which you trim regularly.
• You know Hebrew, English (as a second language) and maybe Arabic (it's optional for non-Arab Believers).
• Income tax is high for the rich, low for the poor, and 51% average.
• Education (mostly Religious, but also basic language, arithmetic & Computer-using skills) is free and compulsary.

Everbody knows that
• Milk comes from the local farm, in whatever sort of container the farm finds convenient and hygienic to use.
• The date is DD of MMMM, YYYY (Today is Wednesday, the 27th of Ellul, 5766), but reckoned according to the Hebrew Calendar. Your computer easily converts dates to and from any other date format. System is Metric, Decimal point is a normal dot, plus sign looks a bit similar to _|_ (to avoid using the cross).
• A thousand million is a "milliard," a thousand milliards a "billion."
• Marriages ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jewish_view_of_marriage) are only conducted by a Rabbi, and have no effect other than a religious one. Same-sex marriages are non-existent. Homosexuals keep their sexual practices in the privacy of their homes, and are not prosecuted or otherwise discriminated against.
• If you are a married woman, you wear modest ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tzeniut) clothes and a head-cover, but do not cover your face.
• Corruption and Imorality by Spiritual and Political leaders is unheard of.
• You tranfer money by a Credit Card. There is only one National Bank, with branches everywhere.

"In God we trust – all others pay cash"
• If you are a plumber, you earn a lot but have a very low IQ.
• You have a small variety of choice – you buy your food from the nearby farm, and other stuff in the Town Center.
• Chances are high you are a Yeshiva student ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yeshiva) or a farmer
• The people who appear in radio talk shows are Spiritual leaders. Singers, entertainers, musicians, sportsmen, artists & politicians are anonymous to the public, who enjoy their work but don't care about their personal identity.
• You ride on the right side of the road, and give right of way to the other driver if he's of a higher social rank, if he was there first, if he drives faster, and frequently otherwise too. Cases of drivers both waiting for each other until one is persuaded to move on are not uncommon.
• Policemen are armed with truncheons & robber bullets but very rarely use them. Guns are unheard of except in the Military, service in which is compulsive between ages 21-25.
• You avoid travelling outside your town or village unless you have business elsewhere.
• Inflation is low. Anyone who is unemployed either studies or volunteers somehow. Social Welfare is high on the Governement's agenda.
• You care about the social status and religious level of the family you wanna marry into, but not at all about their racial origin.
• Entertainment is local and limited. All families spend the Sabbath together, and the Sabbath meals involve drinking a little wine, singing and engaging in all kinds of pleasurable Debates & Discussions.
• Christmas is some heathen holiday. Everyone celebrates the Jewish holidays and Moshiach's Birthday, which is on the url= http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tisha_B'Av]9th of Av[/url] every year.

Space and Time
• If you have an appointemnt, you are never early or on time. A half-hour delay is normal.
• Body contact, including shaking hands, hugging, kissing on the cheek etc. between members of the opposite sex is reserved for spouses and relatives of the 1st degree. Between females it is normal, between males it is reserved for close friends and only on special occasions. Congregants either shake or kiss the hand of their Rabbi in the Synagogue upon leaving on Sabbaths & holidays.
• Bargaining is uncommon. Sellers always charge fair prices.
• People & families from the same village often visit each other, but never without an invitation.
• People are always polite and correct when negotiating or otherwise arguing, but also quite direct and blunt.
• Alcohol and Marijuana are allowed in moderation. Any other drugs are reserved for special Medical use.

TG me if you have any other cultural issues that interest you about our Theocracy and I'll add it here.

Rabbi Novartza Mahershallalchashbaz,
Minister to the Lord of Hosts,
In charge of Foreign Affairs & Public Relations

If you're Nicksyllvanian...
You believe deep down that any nation that is not under Nicksyllvanian Control is barbaric and inferior.
You're familiar with various firearms of all types, as well as armoured vehicles
You know how to create trenches, tank traps, lay mines and barbed wire. You will also likely have understanding of Infantry and combined arms tactics, you will be apathetic towards sports, besides combat based ones.
You Give your sincere thanks to the Emperor for a 2 weeks vacation.
If you died tonight...
You're fairly likely that you will be honourably revered by your country if you had died in battle, fighting for the Imperium.
You think food served at Privately owned restaurants are a luxery.
You probably own a telephone and a TV. Your place is heated in the winter and has its own bathroom. Your laundry is taken care of by the Laundryworkers. You usually don't kill your own food. You don't have a dirt floor. You eat at the local Government Cafeteria, while interacting with your comrades.
You consider insects, dogs, cats, monkeys, or guinea pigs to be emergency food, to be consumed when food is scarce.
A bathroom does not have a bathtub in it, but it certainly has a toilet and shower limited to 5 minutes a day.
It seems natural to you that the telephone system, railroads, auto manufacturers, airlines, and power companies are State controlled, as well as almost all other industries.
You expect, as a matter of course, that the phones will work. Getting a new phone means you screwed with it.
The train system, is efficient, precise, and free. Usually the only cars around are owned by those in the Armed Forces, or those delivering goods.
You find a Autocratic, one party system natural. You expect the politicians of both parties to be Pro-Industry, strong on defense, and concerned with the masses. You find Democracy inefficient and comic.
You don't expect to hear Socialism or Democracy seriously defended. Communism, Capitalism and Anarchy? fuhgeddaboudit.
There is only one skin tone, those who look different are clearly immigrants coming to join our Glorious Nation.
You think most problems could be solved if an intelligent and efficient individual took charge.
You do not have to rely on courts to solve disputes, a GPS tracking chip implanted on all citizens, and the excellent police force solves most, if not all crimes before the trial.
You don't respect someone who speaks French, German, or any other language-- English should be the only language in the world.
It's not all that necessary to learn foreign languages anyway. You generally don't visit other countries, unless your invading them.
You do not know what taxation is, as all property and persons are belongings of the Emperor.
School is free, period. Of course only the top 15% get to advance beyond Junior high, since everyone starts working when they are 12.
Everybody knows that
Mustard and Shaving cream comes in barrels. Milk comes out from dispensors located in the cafeteria.
The date comes second: 11/22/63.
The decimal point is a dot. Certainly not a comma.
A billion is a thousand times a million.
You expect marriages to be arranged between an man and a woman, although marriage is only a ceremonial title without any real meaning. You simply submit an application to a bureaucrat to get married. And, naturally, a man can have as many wives as he wishes.
If a man has sex with another man, he's a queer.
Even if you're introduced to someone, you cannot call them by their first name. First names are for those whom are close friends or lovers.
If you're a woman, you don't go out in public topless, even if it is legal.
Hotel's don't exist.
You'd rather a film be subtitled than dubbed (if you go to foreign films at all).
You seriously expect to be able to transact business, or deal with the government, without paying bribes.
If a politican has been cheating on his wife, you root for him.
Just about any store will take your ID card.
A company can fire just about anybody it wants, but the fired individual will be given another job by the State.
You like your bacon crisp.
Labor Day is everyday you work.
Contributions to world civilization
You've probably seen multiple Domestic Films.
You know Domestic Bands.
You count on excellent medical treatment. You know you're not going to die of cholera or other Third World diseases. You expect very strong measures to be taken to save very ill babies but not people in their eighties. You think dying at 65 is a good time to go.
You went over Nicksyllvanian history, as well as an extensive history of warfare around the world.
You expect the military to fight wars and be a main force in politics. You are able to name most generals in the Armed forces.
Your country has never been conquered by a foreign nation.
You're used choosing between a cheap Government made product, or an expensive privately made product for almost anything you buy.
You measure things in meters, Kilograms, and litres.
You are most likely not a farmer.
Comics basically come in two varieties: newspaper comics and soft cover books. They cover virtually every genre.
The people who appear on the most popular talk shows is the Emperor, Generals, and politicians.
In the event that you drive, you do so on the right side of the road. You do not stop at red lights if nobody's around. If you're a pedestrian and cars are stopped at a red light, you will fearlessly cross the street in front of them.
You consider the Volkswagen Beetle to be a miniscule vehicle.
The police are armed, usually with submachine guns.
If a woman is plumper than the average, they are completely undesriable.
The biggest meal of the day is in the evening.
The nationality people most often make jokes about is the Calassians.
You wouldn't leave your home at night due to the curfew.
Outside the Beltway
You are apathetic to politics, and blindly support anything your Government does.
Inflation and Unemployment are never an issue, as everyone has work, and Currency is controlled by the Government.
You would be interested what family someone comes from.
The normal thing, when a couple dies, is for their property to be given back to the Government.
You think of opera and ballet as rather bland entertainments. It's likely you don't see that many plays, either.
Christmas is in the winter. Where you burn images of Religious icons and sing insulting carols.
You think Religion is a load of Crap, the closest thing to divinity on this planet is the Emperor.
You'd be hard pressed to name the capitals or the leaders of any nations, unless you are at war with them.
You've left a message at the beep.
Taxis are operated by professionals, and are used only in emergencies.
You are disgusted of how other countries provide welfare. But you are proud of your excellent free medical and dental coverage provided to all citizens.
If you want to be a doctor, you need to be in the top 15% in School.
What's a Lawyer?
Space and time
If you have an appointment, you are expected to arrive 10 minutes early, even being seconds late is inexcusable.
If you're talking to someone, you generally comfortable if they speak 2 feet away.
Bargaining is only for Greedy Capitalist Pigs, besides prices are controlled by the Government.
You generally meet people in the Recreation centers, houses are generally the same for all people, and usually only close friends or lovers visit each others homes.
If you have a business appointment or interview with someone, you expect to be interrogated by at least 3 bureaucrats.

If you are Swilatian:

- There is almost no chance that you believe in god, even deep down.

- You're familiar with most of the country's football players, actors, radio speakers, comedians, etc.

- On the other hand, you don't know little about the government excpet the President prime minister, and your city's representative.

- You know about Football, and proably watch lots of matches. You might know other sports, and watch their national tournaments as well, but it's not that likely.

- Two to Four weeks of Vacation are normal

- You consider fast food to be cheap, but not tasty or healthy. Somehow, when you do go to a fast food store, the queue to buy this "food" is really long

- Except in the countryside, fast food stores don't have any place to sit down and eat. You go in, buy the food, leave, eat it some-where else, like a park bench.

- You probably own a telephone, TV, and a computer with internet access. Your place is heated in the winter and has it's own bathroom. You do your laundry in a machine, either your own or shared by the whole building. You don't kill your own food or have a dirt floor. You eat in a restuarant.

- You live in an apartment.

- You don't consider insects, dogs, cats, monkeys, or guinea pigs to be food.

- You refer to the smallest room as the 'toilet'. The term 'bath' is used for the room, usually separate, which actually contains the bathtub. Note that the are no "bathrooms" in Swilatia.

A government has no place in its country

- It seems natural to you that the telephone companies, railway companies, auto manufacturers, airlines, and power companies are privately run; the goverment has no reason to mingle in their affairs.

- You expect, as a matter of course, that the phones will work. Getting a new phone is routine.

- The train system is good, with trains going much faster then cars. In fact, the idea of using cars as a long-distance transport is consider to be ridiculous by most Swilatians.

- Flying domestically is for those who have too much money or aren't paying with their own money.

- You find your country's multi-party democracy to be inefficient and comic, but still better then all the alternatives.

- While there are some chances that Socialism might be seriously defended, you can completely forget about defending Communism.

- The terms "white" and "black" describe skin colour, not race, the wo being completely different things.

- You think most problems could be solved if only people would start working more efficiently for a change.

- In theory, you can sue a customer, partner, or supplier you have problems with if you go into business. However, this is not that easy consideiring the rather weak and inefficiant courts

- You'd respect someone who speaks a foreign language, but you probably would be afraid to speak monolingual foreigner. You think the kids should be multilingual.

- You know at least one or two foreign languages.

- You think a tax level of 10% is scandalously high.

Every-one knows that

- School is not free at any level, except in special circumstances. Some schools can be really expensive.

- Mustard comes in jars. Shaving cream comes in cans. Milk comes in cardboard boxes; it used to come in bottles.

- The date comes first: 26/4/1924 (Buy you probably don't give a damn about what happened on that date)

- The decimal point is a comma, even in English.

- A billion is a million times a million. There is no such thing as a "milliard". Thousand times a million is a thousand million.

- You expect marriages to be made for love, not arranged by third parties. Marriages are secular in nature, and people get married wherever they want. A person van be married to as many people as they want, of either gender.

- If a man has sex with another man, he's a homosexual. As if that means anything though.

- Once you're introduced to someone, you can call them by their first name.

- Women can at least go to most beaches topless.

- No matter how small a hotel room is, it has a private bath.

- Foreign films are always subtitled, never dubbed, whether it's Cinema, Television, or DVD. The translation used to to be done by an announcer reading the translated script over the actors. Most Swilatians are glad this was stopped, as it's just plain silly.

- If a politican has been cheating on his wife, it would not matter. You're probably already questioning his ability to govern.

- In the city, pretty much every store will take your credit card besides the convenience store. Elsewhere only a big store will.

- A company can fire just about anybody it wants, unlees they are afraid they'll get sued.

- You don't really care that much for bacon

- Labour Day is used to mean monday, for obvious reasons.

Ourselves and the world

- You count on excellent medical treatment, assuming you can actually afford it. You know you're not going to die of cholera or other Third World diseases. You expect very strong measures to be taken to save very ill babies but not people in their eighties. You do not think dying at 65 would be a tragedy.

- You went over world history and Swilatian history in school. Assuming you went, of course.

- Due to your country's definition of neutrality, you don't expect your country to have a millitary.

- Your country has never been conquered by a foreign nation, unless Khenas splitting off counts.

- You're used to a wide variety of choices for anything you buy.

- you measure thing using the metric system.

- You are not a farmer.

- Comics basically come in two varieties: newspaper comics and books; the latter are petty much all for children.

- Unless you live in the countryside, you don't drive very often.

- You think of Khenas as a joke, and a terrible country. Even more so after the recent political disaster. You have no idea why they still have a monarchy.

- Anything with more then 4 seats is a large car.

- The police are armed, but don't seem to ever use their weapons

- The biggest meal of the day is after coming back from work.

- The nationality people most often make jokes about is the Wijaskans.

- There's parts of the city you definitely want to avoid at night.

You call that a deal?

- You feel that your kind of people aren't being listened to enough in Vilvek, even (if not especially) if you actually live in Vilvek.

- You wouldn't expect both inflation and unemployment to be very high (say, over 15%) at the same time.

- You don't care what family some-one comes from. For that matter, Swilatian surnames have nothing to do with family.

- Opera and ballet are seen are rather dull and oudated. Plays, musicals, movies, rock concerts and football are the main sources of entertainment.

- Christmas is on the 24th of December.

- The state and church both have almost no power, and you consider that a good thing.

- You'd be hard pressed to name the leaders of foreign nations. You will know a lot of capitals, though.

- You've left a message at the beep. You write SMS messages like crazy.

- Taxi drivers are usually deplorably ignorant about the city, and care only about money.

- You are not familliar with the concept of welfare.

- If you want to be a doctor, you need to study at university first.

- There sure are a lot of lawyers. Not so many cases in which you'll see one though.

Space and Time

- If you have an appointment, you'll mutter an excuse if you're five minutes late, and apologise profusely if it's ten minutes. Twenty minutes late is inexcusable, no-one will expect you.

- If you're talking to someone, you get uncomfortable if they approach closer than about one meter, but this will drop to 50 centimetres (or even less) if it's some-one you know.

- You bargain for just about anything priced higher then 30 Swillas (about 62 dollars).

- You very rarely show up at some-one else's place, unless they are close friends or lovers. Most of the time it's better just to meet in a public place.

- If you have a business appointment or interview with someone, you expect to have that person to yourself, and the business shouldn't take more than an hour or so.

If you are from Kura-Pelland...

- You're probably more likely to be spiritual than religious, and may well be prone to musings over the nature of religion. Failing that, your main contact with religion is probably the multi-cultural Shiny Season between Diwali and Epiphany, complete with religious and secular light festivals.
- You're familiar with the plots and characters of popular soaps (The Square, Some Kinda Home, Harrington Street), you probably watch the odd crime drama (Chasing Shadows, City Chill, Private Investigator Rogers), and you almost certainly watch at least some game shows (Deal or No Deal, Estimate, Wheel of Fortune, Get 100). You adamantly refuse to accept Get 100 is a format from RL.
- You'll definitely know about soccer, which is called football, and if male you'll probably engage in intricate debates over it; there's a very good chance you'll know about several other sports, but which ones - and to what extent - vary with demography.
- However many days you work in a year, you can expect to take one in ten of them off, as enshrined in Rule 90. There are seven public holidays in a year, when all banks and shops close, and if you work on those days (e.g. in a hospital) you can expect notably increased pay.

Life, that's how it is for us...

- You think of takeaway restaurants - they tend not to be chains - as fast food. They aren't that cheap when you consider the price of buying the same food to heat up at home.
- You may still own a separate telephone, TV and computer, but the latter has probably taken the role of all three, and you likely play games on it too. Your place is heated in the winter and has its own bathroom. You do your laundry in a machine. You definitely don't kill your own food or have a dirt floor. You eat sitting on chairs, either at a table or by the computer.
- You don't consider most animals to be food, and you probably know at least a few vegetarians; if you're not one yourself your main meat intake is probably in the form of chicken, turkey or fish.
- You might refer to the smallest room as the 'bathroom' occasionally, but usually you just say you're going into either the toilet, bath or shower
- It seems natural to you that airlines and car manufacturers are privately run but railways and most other infrastructure is nationalised. You wonder how other countries deal with multiple providers for Internet and television when Media2U have enough confusing price options themselves.
- You expect, as a matter of course, that the phones will work. This includes mobile telephones, which are very often mini-computers with email clients and QWERTY keyboards although kids and 'trendies' prefer flimsy miniscule devices - until they break one of them or discover IM.
- The train system is superb, a mixture of maglev and conventional high-speed rail, and you may well believe that cars should be banned. At the least you probably support the tight new emissions standards.

...that's what they say it is...

- You find a multi-party system natural, although the National Democrats and the Liberals (who are liberal in the anti-authoritarian sense of the word, but you have no idea what they think on the economy) tend to be the biggest players. You probably vote National Democrat if you're in business or science or just generally like their careful approach, or aren't sure what to do and don't want to rock the boat; you probably vote Liberal if you're fed up with little regulations on what you can and can't do, or are impulsive and want things to change quicker than the National Democrats allow; socialists vote Workers' Party, authoritarians and the proudly religious vote Morality, hippies and hikers vote Green, and nobody takes anyone else seriously.
- Socialism gets debated, and you sense it's creeping in. You probably have a soft spot for it but fear that too much change will destabilise the country.
- You think most problems could be solved if only people would put aside their prejudices and work together. You proudly point to the end of the Kura-Pelland War and the creation of a unified nation as justification.
- You take a strong court system for granted, even if you don't use it. You know that if you went into business and had problems with a customer, partner, or supplier, you could take them to court.
- You respect speakers of foreign languages - though you rarely encounter them in everyday life as everyone speaks English. If you learn them yourself, it's likely that you're a traveller and/or an opera singer.
- You think that an overall tax burden above 40% is excessive, but a high progressive tax beats a low flat tax.
- School is free up to the age of 18 and private schools are almost unheard of; university isn't, though they're subsidised and there's enough targeted support to stop finance deterring most students.
- University is generally three years long for the first degree, but second degrees are increasingly common.

...and everybody knows...

- Mustard comes in jars, but isn't popular. Shaving cream comes in cans. Milk comes in plastic bottles or cardboard cartons.
- The date comes first: 01/10/06 is October 1 2006, and you know what happened that day.
- The decimal point is a dot. Certainly not a comma.
- A billion is a million million (1x10^12); a thousand million (1x10^9) is a milliard.
- You expect marriages to be made for love, not arranged by third parties. Marriages tend to be secular in nature and can - and do - happen just about anywhere. A man only has one wife at a time.
- If a man has sex with another man, he's homosexual.
- If you're a woman, you can go to the beach topless, but you probably won't.
- A hotel room has a private bath.
- You'd rather a film be subtitled than dubbed (if you go to foreign films at all - but there's a good chance you do).
- You seriously expect to be able to transact business, or deal with the government, without paying bribes.
- Cards are accepted for payment just about anywhere and increasingly there is talk of a 'cashless society'. If you're over 50, you're suspicious. If you're in your 20s, you're virtually in a cashless society anyway.
- A company can fire who it wants, on condition that they are relatively fair in doing so as ensured by legislation.
- You don't tend to eat bacon but if you do you probably like it moderately crisp.
- Labour Day is the first Monday in November.

...this is what we do!

- You've probably seen Dip Below The Clouds and Soar Above The Clouds (cop spoofs), the Jeannie trilogy and Life In The Limbo City, the story of Trilan during the war.
- Among your country's artists, you know Zoe Henshall (whose song 'Life' is quoted in the section headings), The Burpees, Alicia Edwards, James Phillips and others depending upon demographics. Among RL arists, you know Alanis Morisette, Embrace, Kelly Clarkson, Beverley Craven, My Chemical Romance, and without realising it you probably know Sigur Rós and Secret Garden because their instrumental music is on the TV a lot.
- You count on quality medical treatment in emergencies, though the rest of the health service is somewhat underfunded when it comes to curing people; preventative measures are far better funded, and as a result you know you won't die of cholera or the like. You think dying at 65 would be disappointing; average life expectancy is in the low 70s.
- You are still trying to work out the role of the new combined military but you probably think it should be primarily a peacekeeping force.
- You're used to an excessive variety of choices for most things you buy, but fortunately there's lots of consumer advice to turn this into a positive.
- Talk shows typically feature entertainers, sportspeople and politicians though this is by no means a rule.
- If you drive, and there's a fair chance you don't, you drive on the left and stop at red lights even if nobody's around. If you're a pedestrian, you probably run across streets.

Beyond Trilan...

- There's a chance bitterness over the war still remains but you're glad that at least the other side didn't consume you, except you probably think they did.
- You wouldn't except double-digit inflation and double-digit unemployment at the same time. The former in isolation is rare enough, the latter is somewhat more common and can easily bring down governments.
- Christmas is in the winter. It's the Christian part of the Shiny Season, and usually the height of it. You probably spend it with your family, give presents, and decorate your house in some form - a tree is common in larger houses, but many simply add lighting.
- The normal thing, when a couple dies, is for their estate to be divided equally between their children, though usually a non-trivial amount of large estates is taxed and/or given to charity.
- You think of ballet as a somewhat elite entertainment, but opera is quite popular and to some extent so is theatre.
- You know most of the countries in Atlantian Oceania, but not many of the leaders.
- You've probably not left a message after the beep - you've sent an email instead. Almost everyone's phones are email-enabled now anyway.
- If you want to be a doctor, you need a second degree in medicine.
- Being a lawyer is a respected and to some extent honourable profession. Gowns and wigs are uncommon, instead the general uniform is a suit and tie.

If you're Cameroi, Carlemnarian, or from the planet Lananara.

* you know that conflict is a gratuitous paradox created by language and syntax.
* you have probably heard of the goddess elxtia and may have immagined sleeping with her. or were you really just immagining?
* you know that hierarchies are only useful as a means of coordinating infrastruture, keeping it environmentally harmonious, and keeping people from starving, freezing, or beating each other over the head.
* if you're over the age of 12 you've almost certainly voted for members of the local council where you live, and there's even a fair chance you may have served or are serving on one.
* work is something you do for fun, just like everything else.
* You don't pretend to know what no one possibly can, but are unlikely to dismiss out of hand even the most unusual of possibilities, knowing as you do, that diversity is the nature of reality.
* temples are quiet places you go to be alone, meditate, fanatacize, read, or even share quiet intimacies with young volunteer priestessess
* if you live alone, as nearly half the population does, there is probably some sort of computer with a network connection that serves as both entertainment and communication.
* if you don't live alone, you probably live with more then two other people of multiple genders and species who share one or more of your interests in common.
* you consider all living creatures to be people, along with inanimate and even immaginary objects. this is actually the safest course, owing to the diversity of people and the worlds they or their ancestors migrated to lananara from.
* you take for granted that local transportation, like the land itself, is both sacred and free. but how you use ether is a matter of constant environmental concern and self-dicipline.
* infrastructure, like everything else, is created and maintained by volunteers. what no one does, everyone lives without.
* when something doesn't work, no one stops you from attempting to fix it yourself, unless they can see you are botching it up worse. then they either politely ask to let them take over, or shrug their sholders and turn away, leaving you to continue doing so or give up as you see fit.
* if you try to destroy something someone else may wish to enjoy or need to use at some point in time the will psionicly call the volunteer constablry who will arrest you and hold you for review by the local council who will then togather determine your fate.
* publec transport tends to run on rails or some other form of guideway, be built to very dimunative form factor, and provide excellent and usually automated service, where there are such things, which is most places. paved roads for the most part do not exist. nor do private vehicules, nor places to fuel them.
* there are no laws against possessing anything. mass production, exchange or large scale importation of some items is however banned. these include automobiles and balistic fire arms.
* there are no political parties nor lobiests. local councils have VERY local jurisdictions. local enough for everybody to know everybody personally.
* education is universally available and even the lower grades are aptitue tracked, based on freequent no-fault surveys. lower school begins at age 3 and continues for 9 years. at age 12 you are considered equal to any adult and are required to take an at least two year sabatical before begining upper school, which is the equivelant of university or trade college. which may also be from five to nine years but classess may also continue to be taken for the remainder of you life. there is no graduation as such, but rather certifications for demonstrated abilities.


Everybody knows that

* gods are invisible, not infallable. how powerful they are is anyone's guess. big enough not to armwresle over the seating arraingements certainly, but seldom if ever taking a direct personal hand in mortal affairs.
* gods arn't the only invisible friends though. little furry invisible creatures are good friends too.
* all of each are mostly harmless.
* none of these invisible folks running arround have diddily to with it being up to us to avoid messing everything up for each other.

* government is allowed to play no role in who you may or may not see fit to live with nor for how long.
* people have only one name, generated randomly using a combination of 8 and 4 sided dice. if two people happen to come up with the same name the distinguish themselves from each other by place of birth or living. parents roll up their children's birth names, but arround the time of their leaving lower school they participate in naming cerimonies where they roll up their own that they will carry for the rest of their lives.
* there is no such concept as statutory, but voluntarily empared judgement is uncommon as it is generally recognezed as ungratifying.
* even the smallest villages have free public shelters. most people only remain in them when travelling or until they can build a shelter of their own.
* entertainment is more often something you participate in then merely spectate. if you just want to watch/listen to someone else act or play music, can always do that on the net. music festivals are common, but they are commonly participatory.
* cheating is in the eye of the beholder and entirely dependent upon what the parties involved have or have not agreed to. but the thoughlessness of causing suffering is generally looked down upon.

* Policemen are armed with effective non-lethal force and psionic amplifiers and teleportion devices to show up instantly when and where needed, with backup as needed. everyone takes their turn volunteering to be one. physical strength or agility is not a requirement. (VERY effective non-lethal force takes care of that)
* the terminology of monetary economics is in most places and contexts meaningless.

* small form factor NON-anthropomorphic robotic devices are quite common. most construction and agricultural work is performed by them.
* all energy is generated, and transportation propelled, by noncombustive means.
* gravity modulation and ftl space travell are available, but most people prefer to ride the little trains and enjoy the scenery close up. and avoid any kind of situations that would otherwise require them to be in a hurry.

* there are no fences except to control domestic livestock, or keep wild creatures out of vegetable gardens. they are not allowed to enclose too large an area, nor for such inclosed areas to abbut and interfere with free passage.
* no one enters an enclosed space they can see someone else is already living in without the permission of those doing so. this is why keep out signs are generally unneccessary and extremely uncommon, being employed only where there is real and immediate danger to life and limb.

* it is considered impolite to attract, let alone demand attention, especially of someone already visibly engauged in some activity or likely to be in some mental one.

* there are no building codes as such, other then in densely populated areas, but environmental considerations are always the dominant concern. where they do exist, they are entirely a local matter, at the discreation of local councils.

=^^=
.../\...

If you're an Akimonadite...

* You believe deep down in God.
* You're familiar with several TV personalities, but more likely with Commodore Heusen, the leader of Akimonad, due to nonstop exposure in the media.
* You know how baseball, basketball, and football are played.
* Vacations vary on your job position and possibly your standing with the government. If you're a dissenter, you will likely not receive vacation.
* All you really know is that, despite having a dictator, life is pretty free.

If you died tonight...

* You believe in God, and a priest or pastor is definitely present.
* You think of fast food as delicious, but you don't eat it often, because traditional cooking is much better.
* You have the latest stuff. Your living room is situated around a small box the projects holographic programming. You generally have a portable computer that does the work of a phone as well.
* A bathroom has a bath, if not a jacuzzi. A bathroom also has a toilet, separate shower and possibly entertainment, such as a television.
* A lot of things are publicly run, and the government does a wonderful job, as far as you can tell
* You expect that all technology will work. If it doesn't, it'll likely be replaced by something newer and better anyway.
* The train system is fanatical and it works well to get around the three islands.
* The only democracy you know is that of parliament, which seems to be the only nonworking part of the government, which makes your admire Commodore Heusen more.
* You don't expect to hear socialism mentioned. You're not quite clear what it is anyway.
* There are a whole lot of ethnicities and races, and either no one is discriminated or everyone is.
* You think most problems are solved by Commodore Heusen
* The court system seems like an affair for mediation. You've heard of courts being used to judges crime, but crime is unknown in Akimonad anyway, what with the police.
* You greatly respect the police, who are outrightly kind to everyone who is not breaking the law, which rarely happens, because being favored by the police can lead to better social status.
* You speak English and some other language at the least. You consider English superior, though, and everyone should use it.
* It's highly regarded to know many languages, and there is always a quest to learn more. Fluency in four-plus languages is not uncommon.
* Though most of everything you give goes to the government, it's alright with you, because they aren't corrupt.
* School is generally free, including higher education.
* College is normally eight years if you want a favorable job.

Everybody knows that

* Shaving cream is pumped to your house, much like water. Milk is the same. No one eats mustard, because the strange glass containers they come in when they're imported are considered archaic.
* Always us the format DD MMM YYYY.
* The decimal point is a dot. Certainly not a comma.
* A billion is a thousand times a million.
* You expect marriages to be made for love, not arranged by third parties. Marriages are generally not celebrated in large ceremonies, which are considered wastes of time and money, but if they are, they are always in a church.
* If a man has sex with another man, he's a homosexual and deserves a stoning.
* You can generally refer to friends by their first name. People in government are regarded with more respect.
* Public nudity is common in the northern, warmer areas, but uncommon in the southern, antarctic regions of the country.
* A hotel room generally has a private bath.
* Biometrics are in heavy use. Credit card acceptance is moot.
* A company can fire just about anybody it wants.
* You like your bacon crisp.
* Labor Day is in the fall.

Expectations

* Excellent medical treatment is taken for granted, as it is provided by the government. You expect very strong measures to be taken to save very ill babies or people in their eighties. You think dying at 65 would be a tragedy.
* You went over Akimonadite history heavily. You also went over regional history where there was some. The world, by and large, is just too big to study all of its history.
* The military is heavily involved in the politics and governance of the nation. After all, the leader is a Commodore.
* Your country was conquered once by a foreign nation. You're spiteful of anyone from that country. They are traitors.
* You're used to a wide variety of choices for almost anything you buy.
* You still measure things in feet, pounds, and gallons.
* You are not a farmer, unless you live on the plains.
* Comics come from newspapers and the internet.
* The people who appear on the most popular talk shows are mostly politicians, pundits or authors. Smart people and the like. You consider entertainers' opinions as stupid.
* You drive on the right side of the road, if you do drive. Public transport is much easier.
* The police are armed with whatever, but you don't consider them a threat, since breaking the law is out right.
* If a woman is plumper than the average, it doesn't improve her looks.
* The biggest meal of the day is in the mid afternoon.
* The ethnicity people most often make jokes about is the Schvinite natives. They're a strange neopaleolithic group.
* You can go anywhere in the city that isn't restricted at any time of day. Crime is unknown.
* There are not many travel shows. You've been to many places, and your country is a large tourist attraction anyway.

Society

* You feel that your opinion is recognized.
* You expect unemployment to be low. There's always a job for someone.
* Family heritage has some influence, but not too much.
* The normal thing, when a couple dies, is for their estate to be divided equally between their children.
* You may see many plays. Opera and ballet are seen as esoteric, perhaps dull.
* Because you're Christian, Christmas is in winter.
* Church and state are separated.
* You can name many of the capitals of the nations in your region.
* You leave messages for people always, but you can generally contact people directly, so leaving messages is rare.
* Taxis are seen as a dirty, greedy form of transportation and they are rare. Public transport is much better.
* The government hands out money to poor and elderly people, and it seems fine, seeing as everyone ought to have some money.
* If you want to be a doctor, you need to get a bachelor's first.
* There are lawyers, but not as much as other nations.

Space and time

* If you have an appointment, you try your hardest to be on time. Being too late is seen as disrespectful and rude.
* Your "personal bubble" extends about two feet from you. People who violate it are seen as queer.
* Haggling is seen as somewhat normal. You haggle at any place that isn't a big box store.
* Invitations are polite but there is a sort of casualness. It's generally okay to show up.
* When you negotiate, you are polite, unless the person is really screwing around. Then you lose all pretense of being nice.
* If you have a business appointment or interview with someone, you expect to have that person to yourself. Having another person in the room who isn't involved is seen as an unforgivable offense.

If you're a Maineiac:


Your car runs on hydrogen fuel cells, your electricity comes from the local fusion plant, and your food comes from a hydroponics farm or a replicator.

You never complain about taxes, because you're afraid that without government programs, unemployment would skyrocket as companies ran amok.

You eagerly await the day you tax refund check arrives.

Your medical care is free

You paid only for the comfort upgrades in your home, not the house itself.

You show up for work high at least twice a week.

If the weather's nice, you'll also (depending on the job) show up naked.

You've never held money in your hand, because all transactions are done electronically.

Everybody knows that...


Lemurs make great pets.

Jimmy has two mommies, Billy has two daddies, and Tommy feels left out because he only has one of each.

Nothing, absolutely nothing, is as important as Hockey Finals.

The current President has a nice rack.

A computer that doesn't talk to you isn't worth having.


If you died tonight...


The funeral would be very nice.

The wake would get out of control, as the guests drank to your memory... repeatedly.

They'd miss you, but most would assume they'd see you again in the next lifetime.

"Mommy, why do other countries like war so much?"


One of the first things children learn is that they are special... and so is everyone else.

If everyone held the same beliefs, life would be incredibly boring.

The thought of even handling a gun gives most people the willies.

No dispute is so serious that it can't be talked out.

Other countries are nice enough to visit, but they just don't get it, do they?

Space and time


Appointments are made with the understanding that you'll be there 30 minutes later than the scheduled time.

The idea of the Multiverse really freaked you out at first (probably because you were high at the time), but now you just take it for granted.

The choice retirment package involves moving off-world to an orbiting city.

If you're Zwangzugian:

That woman down the street believes in God, but she wouldn't tell you because she thinks you'd laugh at her.
You're familiar with Dila10, Bigtopians Say The Darndest Things, The Brash and the Backstabbing, and Ricelands and Nicelands.
Regardless of your gender, you understand sports like debate, math team, and extreme foosball. You follow the Third Grade League. "Football" means soccer, and you're vaguely aware that that is foosball for idiots. Elizabeth back in Noh Weir had a son who got into that, but we don't talk about him. You have a fair understanding of baseball.

You own a computer and earlier forms of technology.
You consider yourself better than other species (among other things) and have no problems with eating meat.
Trains go everywhere.
The parliamentary system is an okay form of government, which is to say, you don't concern yourself with it. When it comes to parties, the more the merrier.
National socialism is left-wing and the order of the day. Communism is a bit dicey, but capitalism is for lunatics.
A tax level of 90% is scandalously low.
Your native language is either Descriptive or Algebraic English, but understand the other well enough to get by.
School is free through college and beyond (it kind of has to be, considering the economy).
Everyone goes to college for four years. Many go to graduate school.

Everybody knows that:

The date comes second: 6/23/95. (1495 right now.)
The decimal point is a dot. That's why it's called "point".
"Its" is a possessive, "It's" is a contraction. The Party has gotten its job done.
"Z" rhymes with "E".
1,000,000,000 is a billion. Unless you're counting in binary. Then it's five hundred twelve.
There might have been some sort of war several decades ago, but if you try to remember learning about it in school your head hurts.
Marriage is for love, and comes between two people of whatever gender they so desire.
Nudity is a no-no.
Church and state are separate. Period.

Contributions to world culture

You know Red Knight, Hell's Irate Puppies, The Destroyinators, and Taylor Steele. Otherwise, you know Benny Angle and Teresa Coyne.
You played at least one instrument in school and/or sang in the choir, and quite possibly still do.
You count on excellent medical care.
You have never studied any history.
War is only for idiots. "Symbolic negotiation" is for intelligent people.
You may know who your representative is in Parliament, but no other district's. You didn't vote in the last election for Composite Minister. However, now that Parliament is always tied and the Composite Minister gets to break all the ties, you will in the next one.
You might be able to label a map of Starways Congress correctly. You could not identify any other nation.
Guns are illegal.

Space and time:

You aren't used to making eye contact.
Six feet tall (yes, you use the imperial system) is abnormally large.
You expect appointments to be kept to the minute.
You measure in binary time.
It's natural to give distances in terms of the time it takes to get there.
You are literal and not given to sarcasm or body language to express a point.
If you died tonight, you're not sure where you'll wind up. However, you've spent a great deal of time trying to be humble because it's "the right thing to do", and might bring reward in the afterlife. Unfortunately, this brings you pride, and pride is bad. So you feel guilty again. This vicious cycle is a fairly normal emotional state.