NationStates Jolt Archive

You know you are... (NS Humour)

06-02-2006, 01:46
To revive this idea in a new thread:

You know you are Rejistanian if... know the names and positions of all 72 H1SR teams know at least 2 languages: your native language and rejistanian take a day off for important matches can pronounce "slani" correctly do not trust the government when it says that one can be non-karelan and still does not disappear think defensive soccer can be inherently beautiful were named before birth and your name does not reflect the gender
...and has a tilde in it
...your hairdo is best described as 'complex' know soccer is the national religion (field hockey, handball and mjinen are tolerated) look up to most foreigners (and it has nothing to do with having respect) know why the rejistanian capital doesn't appear on all maps of 'the Rejis' don't see anything wrong with being corrupt you do not even realize it is wrong, but call it 'effective' think the selekens are no real rejistanians but accept them in the country due to their cuisine know 5 different Operating Systems, but no closed source software you internet means modem-connections, and 28.8 kb/s means fast
06-02-2006, 02:05
You know you are Bazalonian if...

- You can walk down a deserted alley at night and still know there is a police camera watching you
- You enjoy participating in sport, any sport, even the occasional chess tournament
- feel comforted by a myriad of regulations and rules to protect you from yourself and others
- Broadband access is only in the cities and even then no guarantees you can get it
-if know know there is no average Bazalonian
-If you get annoyed by a certain tourism ad that states "We'll put another shrimp on the barbie for ya"
Draconis Nightcrawlis
06-02-2006, 02:21
You know you are Draconian if...

-You have a barcode on the back of your neck while serving in the military
-You see nothing wrong with your King being blue and furry
-You little to classical and heavy metal at the same time.
-You call American football pansy rugby
06-02-2006, 02:26
You know you're an Ardchoillean if --

You see giant talking cats even when you're sober;

You appoint people to public office as a punishment, with the Presidency being the most severe punishment of all;

Your most important spiritual leader/scientist is currently trying to turn tanks into apricots;

Your most important spiritual leader is your most important scientist;

You know the difference between whisky and whiskey, but you'll drink either, anywhere, anytime, and probably sing.
Aqua Anu
06-02-2006, 05:14
You Know you are an Aqua Anuien when...

The Ocean and everything about water is your life and passion

Your Rain Coat hangs out day in and day out

You have no winter clothes

Two Words Public Nudity

You wear skimpy clothes, even if you are Religous or belive in modesty

You love Humidty

You take cold showers

You bath in the ocean

Hurricanes are your greatest fear

You live in Mac Anu but you work on Aquatica

You work at the Hydro Processing Plant in Mac Anu

You fish

Your Romantic Date is sitting on the beach watching the waves roll in

Other Romanitc Dates include: Watching Thunder Storms go by, setting sail in a storm, fishing

Your idea of extreem sports is surfing and wind surfing
The Archregimancy
06-02-2006, 05:54
You know you're a monk of the Archregimancy when:

- Nightlife means vespers

- Your icon collection blocks all exterior light from reaching your cell

- Football is your greatest missionary venture to the non-Orthodox

- Your last holiday was spent fasting for 40 days and 40 nights in a vast, empty wilderness while fending off the baying pack of wolves

- A day without criticising a Catholic for schismatic heresy is a day wasted

- Unless it was spent criticising Pentacostalists for Sabellianism

- Or demonstrating the Godlessness of Freemasonry

- Or maybe spitting on communists

- You dream in polyphony

- Standing up for three consecutive hours during the liturgy is your favourite form of relaxation

- You lost count of the number of times you've repeated the Jesus Prayer at 6,791

- Fr. Seraphim over in the next cell keeps seeing the Divine Light of the Transfiguration from Mt. Tabor whenever he contemplates his navel
06-02-2006, 06:03
You know you are Vilitan if:

- You read "To revive this idea in a new thread:" and wonder why it had to be re-posted in a new thread if it's already in an existing thread
06-02-2006, 06:11
You know you're Sarzonian when:

You see people wearing naval uniforms even if they're not in the Navy.
Your heart beats faster every time you see a sailing ship. Hearing a carronade fire gets you excited.
Even seeing the Stars lose a friendly match with their eighth choice side against the world's second ranked team gets you worked up.
Saying "Inkana" gets you dirty looks from veterans.
Saying "Pantera" draws a smile from a grizzled veteran.
You wonder if you should salute the Praetonian flag as well as the Sarzonian flag.
You're requried to take Latin to communicate both with your closest ally and understand your most bitter enemy.
Stevie Nicks wrote every important song in your nation's history.
Your nation's capital was named after a hippie music festival.
06-02-2006, 06:20
You know you are Ri-an if:

-You've ever raced a treant in its early stages.
-You know why a walk in the woods is capital punishment.
-You've ever had the wind talk to you.
-You know what a slypher is, and why their a threat.
-You've ever taken a ship to the upper atmosphere to go fishing for space mambos.
-you know what a space mambo is.
-you've ever seen the great Guardian Wurm Laeviathane
-you've ever heard of Remora
06-02-2006, 11:39
You know you are Vilitan if:

- You read "To revive this idea in a new thread:" and wonder why it had to be re-posted in a new thread if it's already in an existing thread
It was in pre-Jolt era and therefore no longer searchable!
06-02-2006, 11:58
You know you're Nedalian if your blood pressure rises tremendously at the mention of the Lions attempting a Karelan style of play. :P
Kasim Sul Nahr
06-02-2006, 12:17
You know you're Kasimian when...

You feel more at home in space than on the homeworld.
You know what a Gabbleduck is. And why it's best to avoid them.
You know what a Heirodont is. And why it's best to avoid them.
You know what a Hooder is. And why it's best to pray that you'll never. Ever. See one.
You can lie to your neighbours effortlessly.
You go to sleep in your bed and wake up in prison.
You like it when the Seperatists appear. And blow shit up.
You throw rocks at Imperial Marines.
You throw rocks at Aristocracy Representatives.
You can say Masada and earn a dirty look from anyone nearby.
You can say Soter and elicit a grin and a wink.
Security Cameras are more prolific than cockroaches.
The Most Glorious Hack
06-02-2006, 12:41
It was in pre-Jolt era and therefore no longer searchable!Actually it was locked because it quickly became A) thinly veiled flames against other players and B) pathetic retreads of the same unfunny crap that other people had written and C) pathetic godmoddish crap by people who had their entire post-history in that very thread.
06-02-2006, 14:10
You Know you are an Jeruselemite when...

Your national leader wears shorter skirts than Anna Kournikova
Industrial polluters get thrown into their own waste by the EPA
Goose-stepping and other Nazi-like behaviour is rewarded by stoning from the local Hebrews
You know who plays in Nedalian and Jeruselem Premier League by name
The minister for Sport and Recreation was a World Cup 13 player
The local Crusader castles have chain-guns in their turrets
You have to speak Latin to church, Arabic to local Palestinians, Hebrew to the local Jews, French to the government and English for trading.
GMC Military Arms
06-02-2006, 14:14
It was in pre-Jolt era and therefore no longer searchable!

Wrong. It's even still open. Lock'd.

Hack's got it confused with Syskeyia's 'Things NS nations would never say' thread.