NationStates Jolt Archive

Welcome to Lancre Cup XIV

The Lancre Cup is a monthly football tournament competed in by nations in the region of Lancre.

The Lancre Cup is easy enough to take part in since the amount of involvement you want is entirely up to you. Every nation in Lancre is entered into the Cup automatically but those not wishing to take part are free to quit if they wish. All nations are drawn against each other randomly into heats. The winners of these heats progress to the quarterfinals, then the semi-finals and so on and so forth.

For an example of a past Cup, XIII can be found here http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?threadid=456643 . We also have a NSwiki about the Lancre Cup series, found at http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/The_Lancre_Cup .

Nations who want to post rosters should put them here, in this thread.

The LCOC(Y) would like to welcome the new nations Raging Penguins, Schwarland, Wyeth, and give a moment of silence for those nations dead of gone since the last Cup: EDCL. Frederick Mickinson, Pugna, Jamiezomonia, Milktea, RB

First Round Draw {final version}

Heat One
Lostlotheria vs. The Harlot of Babylon
Tonca vs. Culdado
Determined cows vs. Moth Balls
Roscco vs. SAF
Yesnono vs. Soyuz 1
Anyland vs. Dregruk
Mu-Muu vs. Jamiezomonia

Heat Two
Sulfamic vs. Heiligkeit
Zamboni Island vs. Sliponia
Jothopolis vs. Froggity
Bongostan vs. Mother Culture
Pazdom vs. Gandhi Followers
Rachels Insanity vs. Umgullia
Ravenclawesome vs. Amemhotep

Heat Three
Raging Penguins vs. Crista West
Schwarland vs. Sunstate
Andrewmania vs. Avenfield
Troon vs. Sirocco
Wash Baskets vs. UCI
Ultana vs. GNY Embassy
Villastan vs. Arniella

Raging Penguins Team Roster:

Strikers: ABSOLUT LUNATIC, Furious Porridge, The Penguin
Defenders: DMYS, Arnold Flitchy, The CHAMPION!!!!!, Fnab-Fnab
Midfielders: Mrs. Tweezly, Mostly Mouths, Derek Snaddly
Goalkeeper: Willie Dee and his Extremely Dangerous Hair


Breif Bio's of the Wierd, Inept and Insane team:

ABSOLUT LUNATIC - Escaped from the Raging Penguin Asylum for the Dangerously Disturbed, and the Asylum refused to let him back in, so he was naturally placed in the football team. He regularly drinks a mixture of vodka, crude oil, and tar.

Furious Porridge - Probably the most mentally-stable, normal person on the team, Furious Porridge is an excellent Football player, and thus recieves the lowest paycheck.

The Penguin: Not a penguin at all, The Penguin is a mentally unstable, human ex-marine, who left the Rage-Peng Army Vet Center and joined the team. He stole the team mascot's costume, which he wears at all times. He even puts his jersey on over it. The captain of the team, The Penguin often orders bayonet charges, and as such, the entire team carries spears, rifles, or extendable poles on their persons during and in between matches.

DMYS - Dubious Mobile Yellow Slime(DMYS for short) is an extremely mobile, somewhat intelligent slime mold, mutated by extremely common chemical spills, and uranium feul rods carelessly discarded in the nearest swamp. Stretched out, DMYS can form a two foot high wall from one side of the pitch to the other(the width, not the length of the pitch). Originally chosen as the Goalkeeper, DMYS has instead been moved to Defencive position due to its ability to make opponants trip, slip, and lose the ball(or their legs).

Arnold Flitchy - Arnold Flitchy is a long-standing member of the team. Having originally been the Mascot, his Costume was stolen by The Penguin, and Arnold was replaced as Mascot by seven real Raging Penguins. His contract to the team, however, was still in effect, and he was givin the choice of becoming a player or a ball, and has been playing ever since.

The CHAMPION!!!!! - The CHAMPION!!!!! is an over-wieght man who joined the team to be a “Blocker”. After signing the contract, he found out that Football in Raging Penguins was not played with an oblong ball, and that you did not tackle your opponents. Much to his chagrin, he realized too late that it was a round ball that was being played with and that you shot, stabbed, and strangled your opponants. He still, however, is used as a blocker by other players. His real name is unkown, as he insists upon being called "The CHAMPION!!!!!".

Fnab-Fnab - Fnab-Fnab was once the Iron-Fisted, Tyrannical Dictator of a small, smelly, and utterly foriegn country. After a week of vacation in Raging Penguins, he boarded a small private jet which was supposed to send him home. However, it was not his small, private jet, but was instead the Football team’s jet, and Fnab-Fnab has been with the team ever since.

Mrs. Tweezly - After living most of her adult life as a School teacher in a Middle School, Mrs. Tweezly retired - and joined the Football team. She is one of the more tempermental members of the team, and will go berserk at the thought of students chewing gum during a game. A formidable sight on the field, Mrs. Tweezly has a meter-stick in her right hand at all times, and is armed with an extremely severe Look, which can strike an organism down at twelve paces.

Mostly Mouths - Mostly Mouths, or MM, as he is known, is a product of the over-breeding of large-mouthed Troglodytes, a commercial race living in the mountains of Raging Penguins. Mostly Mouths is an inatriculate Mouth on short, stumpy legs. He has two eyes, although nobody knows where they are, no ears, no nose, no arms, no vital organs, and like most Troglodytes, no brain. He does have an enourmous mouth, however, and eats almost every football kicked towars him.

Derek Snaddly - Derek Snaddly is a door-to-door salesman; cunning, dangerous, and not to be trifled with. He plays Football for the team as well.

Willie Dee and his Extremely Dangerous Hair - Willie Dee was once a regular boy, playing football on weekends with his mates. Then, one fateful day, he applied a radioactive hair-gel to maintain his large afro, and overnight, it gained a violent and carnivorous mind of its own. Utterly immune to scissors, fire, or hats, his hair has stayed put, and has grown. Currently, his Hair is out of jail on bail, after being jailed-along with the innocent Willie Dee- on charges of Assault and Battery, resisting arrest, and devouring a policeman. The no verdict has been issued, as the bodies have not been recovered yet. His Extremely Dangerous Hair was hired to play as Goalie, due to its agility, and ability to deflect - or devour - incoming balls. Willie Dee just happened to come with the deal.

Yes...Brief bios...Not long at all...

The Siroccan team stands thus:

Strikers: Snazzy Buggum, and Frisko Blootzer.
Midfielders: Peabo, Wilfred Bash, Mork, and Mindy.
Defenders: Crusher, Bruiser, Smasher, and Cecil Smart.
Goalkeeper: A brick wall.

Anyland -
But crap, Dreguk in the first round? Oh well, my new weapon should work well on that. Announcing the main players for my team, in any position you'd like them in: the killer bunny from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, the long ago mentioned satellite defense system named Sam capable of firing balls or lasers, Mecha Godzilla, and finally, last but DEFINETELY not least, God. (I don't care if you're atheist or don't believe in God, I've hired him and at least in the Cup, he's real) One, I refuse to talk about the claims that spies have infiltrated the Dregruk embassy and have began to sabotage their artillery guns. Also, my goalie is a foot thick titanium wall. That is all.

Culdado -
This is really not my year.. last cup, i was againsts DC in the first round where i lost! and now, i'm againsts tonca, the winner of the last cup!! this is not good.. maybe you can name me "the nation who never made it past round 1"!! well, i'll just hope everything's going to be different this cup.. good luck to everyone..

Dregruk -
Anyway. Our team this year will feature the recently developed, "Slimy Stabby Thiing #19" as well as an updated George (this Cup sporting a rather magnificent hat and heavy machine-gun). Also, we refuse to respond to claims that we've been setting up artillery on the roof of the Dregruk embassy in Yesnono that have been loaded with footballs... And, yes, it IS "Slimy Stabby Thiing" with two i's in "thiing". It reflects upon its impressive nature.

Raging Penguins -
Whomever plays the Raging Penguins Team, Please, PLEASE find a way to kill them all. They are a major drain on the federal budget, and our team is also the reason our armies' technology dates back to neolithic eras untouched by archaeologists...
But be careful of the goal keeper, or rather, be careful of his hair, it Bites, and is currently out on bail after devouring a policeman, and several unlucky hobos...

Sulfamic -
I'm still disappointed with our team's effort the past cup.. for this cup, we will be back with revenge.. we will not use kittens, but full grown tigers as our team's back-up..

Wash Baskets -
No-one can take on the rebuilt robot rebels....or something. New improvements include catepillar tracks for rough terrain and eyes on the back of thier heads. Unfortunately our goalkeeper is experiencing issues with the sucker pods that come as standard issue with the army bots, i mean custom built footballing machines but that should be sorted by the matchday.

The Determined Cows roster looks like this:

Strikers: Old Macdonald, Pea Mushyson
Midfielders: The 4 killer robots
Defenders: Larello (brought back from the dead), Sonny Jim, Jonathon Woodward, Mr Diamond
Goalkeeper: Your mom

Needless to say, this year we cannot lose.

Needless to say, this year we cannot lose.
We'll See! :sniper:

Roscan team:

Strikers: Hydrogen, Oxygen.
Midfielders: Neon, Helium, Argon, and Rocky Balboa.
Defenders: Sodium, Cobalt, Nickel, Zinc.
Goalkeeper: Platinum.

The world was stunned last week as the RI team managed to win one of their warm up games for the first time in a decade. The team stalwart Crazy Pete, familiar from so many Lancre Cup matches of yore, was ill with a bad case of the Raging Gnabbles and missed the match. The remainder of the team bravely played on, and achieved a monumental one-nill victory against their usual opponents, a small troupe of red traffic cones.

Happily, Crazy Pete has now recovered from the Raging Gnabbles and infected the rest of the team, so the RI team for the Lancre Cup will consist of the following formiddable lineup:

Crazy Pete
The man who paints lines on the pitch
The spotty kid who sells pies at half time
Janine from the ticket booth
A passing streaker
And a selection of red traffic cones

With this lineup, how can we fail to win against the assorted cartoon characters, walls, deities, mutated organisms and cybernetic death engines the other teams are fielding?

RACHEL'S INSANITY FOR THE CUP!!

Deep in Transcentral, High Mystic Wynette gathered together her eleven men, the chosen undeca of mystics who would compete in the Lancre Cup. Each was wearing a shroud of white and black, with their name and number on the back.

There was Nivek, the goalkeeper with a knack for levitation; Kin, left back and occasional human flamethrower; Leacim, right-back and hypnotic maestro; Semaj, the man with the power of stone; Oel, who's...well...big; the telepathic midfield line - Knarf, Nevets, Noj, and Evad; and finally, the strikers who shoot by telekinesis - Sined and Trauts.

Off they went to the first match, travelling, as always, in their ice-cream van.

Our line-up stands as:
DEFENDERS: a seal clubber, a turtle tamer [these two have excellent brute force and large muscles, eventhough their labels are a little gay], a attention-deficit demon, and a Jill-O-Lantern
MIDFIELDERS: a pastamancer, a sauceror, and a naughty sorceress [these three have all magical and mystical powers, especially serving distracting and mind controlling foods for the foes]
STRIKERS: an accordion thief, a disco bandit [these two are very good at evading defenders due to their high moxie level], a spooky pirate skeleton, and a super sexy harem
GOALKEEPER: still Patrick Star, our flag mascot

NOTES:
*the seal clubber and turtle tamer can summon the animals they control to help them defend the opposition
*a disco bandit can dance his way around defenders while stealing their shoes
*the harem is one of the personal harems of King Mark
*the demon is one of the unknown players of Culdado since the coach was so afraid of him that he immediately accepted him when he tried out for the team

CULDADO will rock the Cup this time..

LostLotheria vs. The Harlot of Babylon

Both veteran teams on the Lancre Cup decided to start things off right, with flamethrowers. The LostLotheria Team had new customs ones made just for the Cup. They shot alternating Black and Red flames, bringing a touch of national spirit to the carnage. The Harlot of Babylon had gone with a spare looking, utilitarian, military model, which had much better fuel economy, a fact which became very apparent partway through the second half.

LostLotheria 2, The Harlot of Babylon 7

* * *

Tonca vs. Culdado

The Toncan team seemed sluggish on the field. Perhaps it was the short break between the cups, with little time to recover from the grueling play, the all night celebration of the win, and the press circuit back home in Tonca afterwards. They seemed content to let one of Culdado's defenders, the demon, score 10 goals in a row.

The Toncan Captain noted later to the press "After he got bored with running all the way to are goal, he just started scoring on his own team. We weren't going to stop him."

Tonca 9, Culdado 1

* * *

Determined cows vs. Moth Balls

After the game, the Captain of the Determined Cows Team Gave the following statement: "We, as a team and as a nation, regret the damage done to the Moth Ball Team and National Morale. It was a mistake, and we acknowledge it as such. You weren't suppose to know about the secret explosives until round two, at the very least. Those robots just don't understand the meaning of secret weapons."

Determined cows 7, Moth Balls 0

* * *

Roscco vs. SAF

Few people pay attention in chemistry. The SAF football team was apparently not part of the select exception to this rule. Later, One of the doctors at Yesnono City Hospital explained what had happened; "When you scored your first goal, you knocked Sodium about a bit, and there were bits all over the field. Then you got the ball back again, and Hydrogen tried to tackle from one side while Oxygen tried to steal it from the other side. There was a 'splat' and we had water all over the field."

"What's so bad about that?" asked a concussed SAF player.

"Sodium's an alkaline metal. When mixed with water it produces flames. Lots of flames. Kind of like an explosion."

Roscco 4, SAF 1

* * *

Yesnono vs. Soyuz 1

In a set of rather shocking events that no one really understands, the Yesnono team won a game.

After the game, a foreign commentator exclaimed "you scored more goals then they did. How hard is that to understand?"

Yesnono 4, Soyuz 1 0

* * *

Anyland vs. Dregruk

Dregruk's Slimy Stabby Thiings (SSTs) seemed rather outclassed, going up against a platinum wall named Tim, an ion cannon enabled Mecha-Godzilla, a Defense Satellite named Sam, God, and a fleet of killer bunnies, with only a gerbil powered Tank named George (v2).

The game started as a series of unfortunate events for Anyland. The bunnies had a run-in with the tigers Sulfamic brought. The soccer balls fired by Sam didn't survive reentry. Godzilla shot himself in the foot, becoming a stationary part of the debris on the field. At halftime, The Anyland coach was still cautiously optimistic, saying "Well, at least we still have Tim and God."

In the closing minutes of the game, the two teams were tied with one point each when one of the SSTs pointed out to the Referee that there were 6 ball back behind Tim. The Ref. ruled that Dregruk must have scored 6 more times while he had been looking the other way. God attempted to argue the point, saying that he was all-knowing, and he knew they hadn't scored those goals legally. Apparently, the referee took offence to God's omnipotent attitude, especially the part where He shook him upside down saying "How dare you argue with Me?" because he red carded Him.

Anyland 1, Dregruk 7

* * *

Mu-Muu vs. Jamiezomonia

The Jamiezominia team, being veterans of the Lancre Cup, had a slight advantage over Mu-Muu in their experience playing around the craters in the surface of the pitch.

Everyone agreed that the coolest part of the game was when Nivek, the Mu-Muu keeper, levitated his teams ice cream van into the goal to block shots, but they only said that because it had come open upside down over the stands, providing enough ice cream for three sections of football fans.

Mu-Muu 5, Jamiezomonia 3

* End Heat One *

* Start Heat Two *

Sulfamic vs. Heiligkeit

The game started in legal manner, but both teams had large boxes prominently labeled "Top Secret Weapon" on their sidelines. The Heiligkeit box was even labeled "You don't see this box; you are hallucinating!" which caused significant confusion in the stands. "If I'm hallucinating the box, then the sign isn't there, right. And if the sign isn't there, than the box is real. But, than…"

On the field, as the game neared it' end, the teams were matched 1 to 1. Both teams went for their weapons. Sulfamic revealed a large group of hungry looking tigers. The Heiligkeit players brought out a pile of steaks and a few strange looking contraptions. They looked like macramé gone wrong.

Their purpose soon became clear. A player would lure a tiger with a small pile of meat. While it was occupied, the football would be scooped into the harness, and then attached to the tiger. Another Heiligkeit player ( an ex-baseball pitcher) would then toss a steak in the direction of the goal, giving the Sulfamic goalie the choice of facing the tiger, or letting the ball in.

Sulfamic 1, Heiligkeit 5

* * *

Zamboni Island vs. Sliponia

The Zamboni Island went with an old standby strategy for this round. They kidnapped the other team and replaced them. Normally, ones uses cats for this, as the smaller uniforms are cheap, but the Zamboni Island coach is allergic to them. Instead, they got cute little dogs. Cute little dogs that really liked to play with the nice black and white balls.

"It was the drool!" All that drool!" yelled the Captain, trying to explain his lost to the canines he picked himself.

Zamboni Island 4, Sliponia 6

* * *

Jothopolis vs. Froggity

Due to the disapperence of Jothopolis, Froggity will continue in the Cup.

* * *

Bongostan vs. Mother Culture

Bongostan, embarrassed by their defeat in Cup XIII, went all out this time. The forwards spent the whole intervening period finding the perfect type of explosives to plant around the goal (radios control, army infantry grade 4). The keeper was in charge of gluing cleats together. Unfortunately, he was color blind, and couldn't tell his team's special ordered red shoes from the opponents blue ones, so he just glued them all. Bongostan voted him off the team before the match, and replaced him with a broom, which was not the smarted idea.

Bongostan 3, Mother Culture 5

* * *

Pazdom vs. Gandhi Followers

No one paid any attention to this game. Crazy Pete was warning up on the sideline, and the spectators were hiding under their seats for safety.

Pazdom 2, Gandhi Followers 3

* * *

Rachels Insanity vs. Umgullia

In a pre-match interview, one of the interviewers asked the Umgillian captain if his team was motivated for the match. He replied, "the Higher-Ups have told us that, if we fail to beat the self-defeating clown and his accompanying plastic traffic cones, we will be permanently assigned to the elephant waste management division. We really don't want to lose. Still, we are worried about those cones."

Rachels Insanity 3, Umgullia 4

* * *

Ravenclawesome vs. Amemhotep

The two new teams played a good game. They were evenly matched, and if the Ravenclawesome keeper hadn't slipped on the custard left by Crazy Pete (Rachel's Insanity) and broken his leg, they were still reading the tournament tiebreaker instructions.

Ravenclawesome 3, Amemhotep 5

* End Heat Two *

* Start Heat Three *

Raging Penguins vs. Crista West

Crista West had a grand plan to reach the second round. It was grand because of it's simplicity. They called the Yesnono City police, and asked them to watch the Raging Penguins team practice. The Police were hesitant to get involved in the Cup, but once they recognized the one called "ABSOLUT LUNATIC" (striker) as the perpetrator of a raid on a bar / mechanic's shop they checked the rest against the most wanted list.

Raging Penguins ended up fielding a team of three; the two innocent players Furious Porridge, Arnold Flitchy, and the Slime Mold, which hadn't fit into the handcuffs. The rest were handed over to the Raging Penguins' Ambassador, who tried to refuse to take them.

Raging Penguins 1, Crista West 5

* * *

Schwarland vs. Sunstate

The Schwarland vs. Sunstate game is notable only for containing the only two known goals scored by a penguin in tournament play.

Schwarland 1, Sunstate 3

* * *

Andrewmania vs. Avenfield

The Andrewmania team, learning from the mistakes of the Zamboni Island, picked a really small animal with which to replace the other team. When they realized there were no cats to be found in Yesnono City (it's national adopt a cat month) they picked hamsters, figuring they'd be lucky to move the ball at all. The Avenfield team was later found 'kidnapped' at the bar across the street from the stadium, charging their drinks to Andrewmania and watching the game on TV.

In an alarming turn of events, the Avenfield hamsters and the remaining Anyland killer bunnies were seen after the game sitting in a corner with a book called "Rodent Coups For Dummies." The Yesnono Department of Defense would be concerned, if it existed.

Andrewmania 5, Avenfield 0

* * *

Troon vs. Sirocco

This game seemed normal enough (given a certain definition of normal) until the Siroccan players Mork and Mindy started up their comedy routine. It was too much for the Troon players, who sat down to have a good laugh in the middle of the field. Unfortunately, rolling on the field laughing (rofl) is hard on your defense.

Troon 1, Sirocco 4

* * *

Wash Baskets vs. UCI

The game started with the scoring heavily in Wash Basket's favor. The modified army robots were good at football, although the occasional ball was popped after being run over by their caterpillar tracks. When the referees ran out of new balls, UCI generously offered one of their own. A later dissection revealed it contents; a magnet big enough to disable the lower half of the bots, leaving the field covered in annoyed statuary.

Wash Baskets 5, UCI 6

* * *

Ultana vs. GNY Embassy

Test are currently being preformed at Yesnono City Hospital to determine the accuracy of claims that the Ultana team was poisoned. The doctors are being non-committal until they have proof, but one admitted, off the record, that neon green is not a normal skin color.

Ultana 1, GNY Embassy 6

* * *

Villastan vs. Arniella

Due to the state of the field by this point in the Cup, both teams lost players during the game. The grounds crew has sworn that they will find them before they re-level the field and paint it green for the second round.

Villastan 1, Arniella 4


Second Round Draw

The Harlot of Babylon vs. Tonca
Determined cows vs. Roscco
Yesnono vs. Dregruk
Mu-Muu vs. Heiligkeit
Sliponia vs. Jothopolis
Mother Culture vs. Gandhi Followers
Umgullia vs. Ravenclawesome
Crista West vs. Sunstate
Andrewmania vs. GNY Embassy
UCI vs. Sirocco vs. Arniella

The Harlot of Babylon vs. Tonca

The winners of the last Cup, the Toncan team, appeared to be in good form and ready to prove it wasn't a fluke. However, a fluke rain of baboons and their keeper's phobia regarding primates conspired to prevent a repeat winning performance.

The Harlot of Babylon 6, Tonca 4

* * *

Determined cows vs. Roscco

The game looked like it would be close until Pea Mushyson, a DC forward started explaining chemistry to the Roscco team. He explained that some of them weren't dense enough, and should float up into the atmosphere. And others, he said, weren't stable in their current form. He convinced the entire team that they couldn't exist, including Rocky Balboa who was confused and just nodded with the rest. And, because they thought they didn't exist, they no longer existed. They went poof, leaving only a lingering smell of smoke.

Determined cows 6, Roscco 2

* * *

Yesnono vs. Dregruk

The Yesnono Parliament sent a message to the Glorious Leader(s) of Dregruk saying only "Please don't kill us."

Yesnono 4, Dregruk 3

* * *

Mu-Muu vs. Heiligkeit

The Mu-Muu team got kidnapped before the game, but not by the opposing team. The kidnappers were a loose alliance of ultra secret religious organizations. Their purpose was to prevent the discovery of proof of ESP. It might have worked if they had acted before the first round; instead, they only proved their own existence. And helped Heiligkeit advance.

Mu-Muu 0, Heiligkeit 3

* * *

Sliponia vs. Froggity

This was an exceptionly close fought and well played game, and everyone agreed that Sliponia would have won, if only their goal hadn't magnetized during the second half.

Sliponia 3, Froggity 5

* * *

* * *

Mother Culture vs. Gandhi Followers

The fans watching this game were mesmerized by the rally at the end, when Mother Culture scored 5 goals in 20 minutes. Apparently, the Mother Culture team can be whipped up into a fury of energy and spirit by the sound of a lone accordion playing the Mother Culture anthem backwards in a minor key.

The commentators suspect Pavlovian training.

Mother Culture 7, Gandhi Followers 2

* * *

Umgullia vs. Amemhotep

The Umgullia team prepared for this game by growing moustaches - really big moustaches. They were so big that any time an Amemhotep player saw them, they laughed so hard they cried, and thus couldn't see the ball. There was an unfortunate incident during the first half in which two of the Umgullia defenders saw each other and Amemhotep managed to score twice before the team recovered.

The team manager later vowed "I'm going to get the team horse blinkers... blinders... those things they put on horses so they don't get distracted..." before their next game.

Umgullia 2, Amemhotep 0

* * *

Crista West vs. Sunstate

The Crista West team manager used to be a locksmith. The significance of this will be clearer when you are told that the Sunstate team went into this game sleep deprived (they claimed their hotel keys suddenly stopped working), tired (from walking to the stadium because they couldn't get into their team bus), and dressed in their street clothes (they hadn't even tried to get into their lockeroom).

Crista West 3, Sunstate 0

* * *

Andrewmania vs. GNY Embassy

The Andrewmania team stole all of the GNY Embassy team's luggage, in an attempt to repeat Determined cows embarrassment from the last Cup. It seemed too easy, and it was. They had stolen the bits of Anyland's goalkeeping wall that had been planted on the GNY team. The GNY Embassy team had been glad to be rid of them. The Andrewmania team didn't play at their top speed, as they had spent a terrified night getting rid of the evidence before anyone (or Anyland) noticed.

Andrewmania 4, GNY Embassy 5

* * *

UCI vs. Sirocco vs. Arniella

The plotting before this game involved a skewered rubber chicken, a fake taxi and a video projector hidden high above the field. The Yesnono Times estimates that there were more foreign intelligence agents involved than there were players in the whole cup, which would explain why no one, no even the players, has any clue what happened on the field. Since the guy running the scoreboard insists that he got it right, his totals have been adopted so the game won't have to be played again.

UCI 5, Sirocco 3, Arniella 2

* End Round Two *


Third Round Draw

The Harlot of Babylon vs. Determined cows
Yesnono vs. Heiligkeit
Froggity vs. Mother Culture
Umgullia vs. Crista West
GNY Embassy vs. UCI

The Harlot of Babylon vs. Determined cows

Two teams came to play
Both teams scored a lot of times
D C just scored more

The Harlot of Babylon 6, Determined cows 8

* * *

Yesnono vs. Heiligkeit

The Opinion page of the Yesnono Times once compared the Yesnono football team getting to the semifinals with Our Queen Anne climbing all the peaks in the Himalayas. After the game the paper presented the Queen with a nice set of climbing ropes and cold weather gear. She declared that she intends to start small, which is hard to do in Lancre.

Yesnono 3, Heiligkeit 2

* * *

Froggity vs. Mother Culture

When the Froggity team took the pitch, their attire seemed very odd. No skin was visible, and there seemed to more padding then usual, even usual for Lancre Cup. Just before the game, they started spraying aerosol cans of something all over the pitch. As a nutty smell permeated the stadium, the sound of stampeding squirrels could be heard approaching from all sides. The Mother Culture team fled, in accordance with Froggity's plan, however, a discrepancy with the plan emerged when the sheer volume of rodents became apparent. The field was literally buried in pouf tailed critters.

As the smell dispersed and the squirrels realized that they'd been duped, they moved off, doing what bits of mischief they could. They left a bruised and traumatized Froggity team in their wake, allowing Mother Culture the opportunity to move on to the next round.

Froggity 5, Mother Culture 6

* * *

Umgullia vs. Crista West

Yet another game
There have been a lot of them
Two are in haiku

Umgullia 2, Crista West 5

* * *

GNY Embassy vs. UCI

UCI somehow managed to acquire a large fan made from parts of a retired jetliner. GNY Embassy somehow managed to find the 'reverse' switch.

GNY Embassy 7 vs. UCI 3


Semifinal Draw

Determined cows vs. Yesnono vs. Mother Culture
Crista West vs. GNY Embassy

*bravo to the haiku*

My gosh, semi-finals and I never even announced my line-up. *introduces self and his 8 clones that make up his team*

the Semifinal Draw
Determined cows vs. Yesnono vs. Mother Culture
Crista West vs. GNY Embassy


Semifinals

Determined cows vs. Yesnono vs. Mother Culture

To start Yesnono kick'd the ball twice
Mother Culture then scor'd that thing thrice
But then DC got four
And then got four more
Violent as the game played on ice

Determined cows 8, Yesnono 2, Mother Culture 3

* * *

Crista West vs. GNY Embassy

Crista West is now lauded
Sportsmanship, grace, humility
They'd rather have five

Crista West 0, GNY Embassy 4


3rd Place Draw
Mother Culture vs. Crista West

Final Draw
Determined cows vs. GNY Embassy