NationStates Jolt Archive

http://www.thirdgeek.com/wc26logo.png
After eighty years of struggle, a seemingly-unwinnable fight that outlasted both governments and football associations, the World Cup will finally come to Commerce Heights for its twenty-sixth edition. Oh, yeah, and Oliverry fits in there somewhere. :p

After Starblaydia’s stunning defeat of four-time champions Rejistania in extra time, five score and seven nations will compete for the honor of playing for the World Cup in front of four hundred thousand at the Sokojito Überdome, one hundred years to the day after Crosshill quietly defeated Europa Brittania 1–0 on penalty kicks in a small stadium in Ariddia. A new chapter in Cup history is about to be written. So go write it already! :p

Links:
WC26 Signups (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=454490)
WC26 Rosters (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=461593)
WC26 RP (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=463733)

OOC: It's 1:30 a.m. so I apologize for all sloppiness, misspellings, or any other misinformation in this report

IC:
Chi Sun-Times-Tribune-Star-News-Press-Yesterday-Today

Sports Section

MFA officially fire Fairbanks

Finally after 2 cups and a very rocky tenure which had seen many ups and downs Milchama Coach Jonathan Fairbanks has been sacked. Many said this should have happened long ago right before the beginning of WC 24 when a struggling Milchama barely were above Pedriana. They rebounded in the second half of qualifying and got eliminated on a hard fought 1-0 loss to Nova Brittanicus. This momentum propelled the Warriors to the quarterfinals of the Cup of Harmony where, after winning their group, they lost to Kaze Progressa. In WC 25 the Warriors again got off to a pretty poor start but came on strong in the end to finish a solid 5th in their group of 10. The problem was the Cup of Harmony where the Warriors did not even qualify out of their group despite beating a highly rated Commerce Heights squad. This lack of performance, combined with the U21s advancing in the hardest group of the local AOCAF tournament, and with the added public pressure, forced the MFA to get rid of Coach Fairbanks.

This firing leaves a vacancy for who will be the Milchamian coach. The MFA will be looking for applications (i.e. TG me if you have an available coach) and will also be seeking applicants (i.e. Vil, Bedi, etc. expect TGs about available coaches).

Former Coach Fairbanks, during the press conference today, said, "I didn't perform up to the expectations that were given to me. I was expected to do a minimum amount and when I did not fulfill this minimum amount they had no choice but to fire me." MFA President Calvin Shintermantoman said, "We here at the MFA appreciate what Coach Fairbanks did for us, but we believe we need a different to take us to the 'next level.' The MFA does not believe that Fairbanks was that coach and thus were forced to fire him."

Milchama's record under Coach Fairbanks:

M W D L
43 17 8 18

That is a total of 59 points out of a possible 129

Today's Date: November 16, 2139
Today's Weather: Sunny in desert; rainy elsewhere
Other: No active tropical cyclones

SPORT
Confusion over date of World Cup 26 reigns in nation as people go half a century back in time

People in Liverpool England have expressed their frustration about needing to go fifty years back in time for travelling to Commerce Heights and Oliverry for World Cup 26, when the cup starts next July if the team qualify.

"It's psycho, eh? Tr'v'ling so many years back just to watch the footy," was one fan's response. The FALE have assured all fans that the date difference was due to use of different calendars, and they wouldn't really be going 50 years back in time.

Rejistania changed in the course of time, the revolution allowed free elections, in which the karelan party had their worst result ever, gaining only 50% of the votes. The other 50% are made up by a large group of smaller parties: imdilaists, communists, neoliberals, takilists - even the anarchist party gained one seat in the parliament it wants to abolish. A slow process of dekarelization started. In this process strange truths about the work of the temple came out, the most severe was that former national coach Siki Rej was not send to psychiatry for overdosing caffeine and only talking in GNU/SI*-commands. He was sent to the psychiatry because his simulations did not always show a superiority of System Karela and he published this. When we was released from psychiatry, he told reporters never to work in the focus of public interest again. Since Hatime I Ra~e was fired after financial transactions between him and foreign takilanists became public, this leaves a vacancy in the position of the coach and for the first time in rejistanian history, the ASR is considering foreign applications. The requirements are:
* international or First league experience
* knowledge in Rejistanian or the will to learn this language
* being defensive-minded and able to work with highly karelized players (it will be difficult to get the players to play more attackingly after the brainwashing of the temple)
Mail to: (ooc: or TG Rejistania)
ASR, FAO Teke Daran
12 yjik Hank~hila Sede
502 Sike

* SI is a rejistanian operating system, partly based on Unix. Think of Minix with virtual memory.

Hiiraan Times
Møgädishu, Šomaliø

Hiiraan Cleared for WC26 Officials say

Official came with the suprising news thast Hiiraan has been accepted and cleared to start qualification process for WC26,The Hiiraanese Football Association said. "We have recieved news from the chairman after being denied 2 times that Hiiraan has been accepted to take part in the qualification process along side the 100s of other teams that will enter the qualifying rounds." Said the teams coach Mohamed Luure.

The team has been practicing at the Mogadishu National Field when news came that the team may have the chance to enter the World cup. No reaction has been got from the team but the teams Captain and Forward, Zakariya Mohamed yesterday said that "National Team was ready and prepared to comepete Internationally."

Meanwhile the Šomaliø Super league came to a close this week with the Mogadishu United coming second again this year. Bosaso FC edged out Mogadishu United again with 3 point Lead. Malindi also was a favored 5th place winners this year, but they have come out on top of that, making 3rd this year, 5 points behind Mogadishu United.

Fbrenia to compete for the first time

Marcelo Pachi, President of semi-official Fbreni Football Association (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Fbreni_Football_Association), confirmed today that his country would be competing in the twenty-sixth edition of the World Cup.

It's been an uphill struggle for the tiny team, based in Ariddia rather than in their home country. Coming from a country whose government fled decades ago, they haven't even got a full squad, and their suits have been provided by Ariddians.

"It's time for Fbreni citizens to appear on the world stage once more," Pachi said. "Our competing in the World Cup will ensure that our nation's plight will no longer go unseen and forgotten. And if we actually win some matches, we hope to make Fbreni people everywhere proud of their team and homeland."

Fbrenia will be playing with only three substitutes, and no substitute defender at all. The team's home games will take place in Ariddia, due to the lawless chaos in the Fbreni homeland.

"These are brave, dedicated men and women," said Anna Teals, President of the Ariddian Football Association (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ariddian_Football_Association). "We wish them well."

Pachi also confirmed that Fbrenia would be using its old anthem, dating from before the government's collapse, rather than creating a new one from scratch.

"We're not out to rewrite what our country is. We want to connect with its roots, and make our compatriots proud."

The Kazoo Peoples will enter the granddaddy of all sporting events, the World Cup for the first time.

When asked for comment of what the national team was doing to prepare for the competition, Coach Manni Aka was heard to say, "You mean there's another one of these things?"

For Manni Aka this is not a suprise. Shocked a few days ago about multiple games in the Baptism of Fire, Aka's ignorance could cost him his job. However, his team is currently first in Region 2 in the Baptism of Fire, so no one is complaining too loudly.

However, a group that calls themselves Ignorance: Deadly Inside Our Top Officials (IDIOTO), seeks to change that.

The leader of the group, Jenny Taylor, at a local rally of IDIOTO, said that "Leaders who have no idea what they are doing or what is upcoming should be removed immediately! Aka is representing our entire nation of 143 million strong! It makes the rest of us look like complete morons!"

Joe Schmo, superintendant of the Kazoo City School Board, relaxing in his nice Ramani suit, said that Aka's ignorance and lack of knowledge isn't suprising. "Our school system is in its worst budget crisis in the history of the Incorporated States of the Kazoo Peoples! We have 51 students per teacher, and kids are playing with deflated playground balls!"

Taylor shot back from a local picket line, "How'd you manage to spend K$83,000,000,000 then?" She took the stony silence to start a chant: "Where does all the dough go?, we wanna know! Where does all the dough go?, we wanna know!" Fellow protesters took up signs and spent the next 14 minutes chanting this until a policeman gave them K$1 to leave. They took the money, and promptly spent it on new playground balls.

The Kazoo national team sports a 4-4-2 offense, accented by the four Johnsons on the team, all brothers. See the roster thread for more details.

With a crack, Elena's foot connected with the ball, splitting its seams but still sending it hurtling towards the Lovefest net. The woman in blue reached for it as it hurtled towards her, but her leftward jump fell short: the ball glanced off her fingers. Enough for the save? She prayed so.

In the stands, thousands more said a different prayer. The ball seemed to hang there, in the air, time slowing: each breath took an hour as the crowd watched. "St Jude, let it go in," shouted Brother Locatelli, loud enough that Elena could hear him even among thousands of other shouts.

Behind the net, the red light went on. Goal! Cheers erupted. Elena felt an air of unreality come over her: had she really scored the winner? It seemed impossible, so she reflected on how much she hated the red light. Such gimmicks belonged in hockey, not in the open spaces of the beautiful game.

Fans swarmed the field, and carried her up on their shoulders. She ripped off her shirt and threw it towards the Lovefest captain. Hurriedly, Brother Locatelli threw a blanket over her shoulders.

---

Church Times

Paolo Freire Catholic University of Loro Sae province will represent Tanah Burung in the centennial World Cup.

PFCU won the rights to play at the highest level with a 4-3 (AET) win over favourites Lovefest University. The small school had been lightly-regarded, thought to have only one asset: its nickname, the Crocodiles, was the same name that Tanah Burung teams used in 15 World Cup runs a few decades ago.

The new Crocodiles began their run by taking top honours in Loro Sae, winning the right to play in the Six Nations Cup against such powerhouses as Lovefest and Black-and-Red Army. Throwing defence to the winds, they relied on an occasionally brilliant trio of strikers and the prayers of their devout following.

Brother Locatelli of Findabaya, the self-proclaimed Praying Fan and organizer of the Croc-Boosters cheering section, said the triumph by PFCU was entirely the result of the "mystical intervention of Saint Judy, patron of hopeless footballers." The Crocs, now representing their country, are expected to each carry an icon of Saint Judy somewhere on their body as they enter World Cup qualifiers. With other countries far more experienced and talented, they'll need those prayers if they are to advance far.

NMSOFT TO RELEASE WORLD CUP 26 GAME

Followup to World Cup 25 game expected "to make even bigger amounts of money" - NMSoft President

NEW MONTREAL - Emile Tremblay, president of leading software company NMSoft, announced the release of World Cup 26 Football (or soccer, depending on which market you live in) for every major modern gaming system in participant nations.

"Calisse, this was a bitch to work out," said Tremblay in the press conference that announced the launch. "But we have experience in this now, and we think we've got it down now."

Tremblay was pleased to announce the release of the "build your own nation" mode, in which you pick everything from national colors to coaching style, and try to lead your nation from the Baptism of Fire to the World Cup Championship.

"This thing's my baby," he said. "I actually helped program some of this stuff," under the Understanding Acts, which require all CEO to spend at least two weeks working at the levels of their business "that actually produces some kind of product or service." He took reporters through the nation-building process, setting up a mildy karelan systems and hiring a Sarzonian assistant coach to serve as the head coach. He then demonstrated the improved multi-player service by playing an almost completely lag-free game against his second-in-command at the Sorel office, losing 3-0.

"All work and no play has made me suck at this," he joked afterwards.

The game itself goes on sale today across NMS and the Midlands, with other regions getting the game anytime from next Wednesday (AO) to a month (the part of Hell that contains Anathematic Republics.)

New NMSoft game expected to be popular in PDSRA

With the centenial World Cup fast approaching, following up on the competition's Silver Jubilee four years ago, football fans in Ariddia are getting excited. But it's not just the idea of supporting the national team. Ariddians have begun wondering how soon the new NMSoft game, a special edition for World Cup 26, would become available in neighbouring, "enemy" West Ariddia.

"It's the same every time," one young fan explained. "Since money doesn't really exist over here, we can't buy foreign games. But everyone knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who's got a relative in West Ariddia. So games get sent over as gifts from West Ariddian relatives, and people here share them, of course."

Few Ariddians say they would wish to live in capitalist West Ariddia, but many are thankful it's there to provide them with fancy foreign goods that would otherwise be virtually inaccessible.

HOLY EMPIRE HERALD

IMPERIALS TO USE CoH DREAM SIMULACRA IN WORLD CUP
Even harsher restrictions on contact with ordinary reality come into effect

By Constantine Ducaso
Archregimancy Correspondent


The Holy Empire Football Association today announced that the Imperials would continue to use the dream simulacra team successfully trialled in the recent Cup of Harmony for the forthcoming World Cup. Once again the Holy Empire will be represented by a single human goalkeeper and 10 outfield dreamed simulacra of World Cup Hall of Fame legend Juan Tzimisces, temporarily dreamed into existence for the duration of the match by a group of monks on loan from the Archregimancy. All home qualifiers will, for the second tournament in a row, be played in the Archregimancy.

A senior HEFA official, speaking on condition of anonymity, blamed the use of the unusual tactics on the Basileus' introduction of even more stringent restrictions on contacts between the Holy Empire and ordinary physical reality following the break-out of the pre-WC25 'Ariddian Plague'. Indeed, moves are afoot to replace the team's single human goalkeeper with a dream simulacrum as soon as technology permits. HEFA believe that this would permit the team to continue to represent the Holy Empire in international tournaments while simultaneously guaranteeing that no Imperial citizen has any contact whatsoever with the diseased and corrupting influence of ordinary reality.

What the other nations of the world will make of this unorthodox (with a small 'o') tactic is anybody's guess, but trials in the recent Cup of Harmony suggest that the opposition is often initially unnerved by facing a team which, technically, doesn't in fact exist.

thsd:NEWS

Nation Mourns Legendary Manager

A BLACK cloud hung over Krytenia today as the nation learned of the death of former national team manager Karim Isserson at his home in Bromham. He was 107. His grandson, former Bromham and Krytenia midfielder Hassan Isserson, found him dead on his settee; it is believed he suffered a heart attack.

Tributes have already begun to come in, with stadia in Krytenia and Isserson's native Tadjikistan awash with bouquets of flowers. Leading the tributes was current Aces manager Dave Van Staveren, who played under Isserson in his younger days.

The Krytenian FA have announced that the Davis Memorial Stadium will be renamed Isserson Park in honour of the man who was, in effect, the adoptive father of Krytenian football.

ISSERSON FACTFILE
1929: Born in Dushanbe, Tadjikistan.
1980: Named as the Tigers' first manager, aged 51.
1990: Leads Tadjikistan to their first finals; leaves post after the side is eliminated.
1996: Aged 67, becomes Krytenian manager.
1998: Leads the Aces to first World Cup Finals.
2014: Retires aged 85 after Krytenia reach their third finals.
2030: Special guest at Krytenia v Tadjikistan match at World Cup XXIV.
2036: Dies in Bromham, Krytenia.

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Casari sets up a home-and-home friendly series against The Second Empire of the Golden Throne
That's the Macabees for the layman

Eager to get international play going as soon as possible, the day after the national team was revealed to the public Coach Hill and the team left for the Second Empire of the Golden Throne for the first of two friendlys between the nations.

In the first match, at Choybalsan in the Second Empire, the considerable travelling following of the Confed Tigers crowded into the away side of the stadium and began singing well before the start of the match. Both teams started off slowly and strategically, working their way into a workable rhythm. An early breakout by the offensive trio of Ronalo, Newberry, and Saienz proved fruitless in front of the away fans, with the teams almost taking turns at flinging themselves at the opposition's defense. Both sides held up well until the 42nd minute, when Casari's offensive trio finally worked the ball to Saienz in the open who put the ball in the net.

The backups came out in the second half, playing a back-and-forth game which ended up with no more goals for a 1-0 victory for the visitors. Next up is an Imperial visit to the 102,896 capacity Casaran National Stadium for the second leg of the series.

Friendly Foreshadows National Team's Presence in World Cup XXVI


CHOYBALSAN, Second Empire of the Golden Throne - The stadium of Choybalsan, the grounds for national first division team Port Tenacious, was full at seventy-three thousand seats, being one of the minor national stadiums. Nonetheless, the crowd that had gathered had expected to see some form of success which would highlight the entrance into World Cup XXVI. But no matter the crowd and the wonderful array of Dienstadi, Macabee and Fedalan flags, the Empire could simply not pull off a victory. In fact, the day ended with a score of one and zero, ceding the victory to Casari. The crowd had expected more, watching a team who's roster had stayed exactly the same as it was in World Cup XXV, relying on the increase in experience. Obviously, it wasn't enough. Not even the greatly improved goalkeeper Hans Kahn, who had ironically changed teams on the national level to Port Tenacious, could stop the goal from going in.

The way defender Franz Xavier put it:

The Casarian team continued to pressure us, and although we held out, I don't think our offense was really up to it. I don't want to say that we rely on a player too much, but I think the fact that Otto Mannerheim, our top scorer last time, wasn't put it, really hurt us a lot.


Unfortunately, Otto Mannerheim will not be put in the next friendly either. Coach Leo Benz relates that is far too risky putting his lead players into a friendly. In fact, Hans Kahn will be replaced by Derik Vander in the friendly in Casari. Indeed, the national team will be travelling to Tyrellia for a second friendly against the team, hoping to seal the two friendlies with an uneasy truce. Nonetheless, many are not putting their money on the national team, knowing that the game at Casari will be more difficult than the game in the Empire, especially with Casarian referees. Not too many are hoping for a victory, and the gloomy end of today's match had sent many fans home with second thoughts on the Empire's progress over the time span between the two world cups.

Cuation team only good for cups?

It has been an interesting time for Cuation since they tried their hand at international football. Taking a gamble, Warlord Jude Takerath took control of the team as manager. In the Baptism of Fire, Cuation lost their first game to the Macabees, 3-1. The team struggled but managed to get out of the group and into the knockouts. Gaining momentum, the team fought their way to the final where they beat the Sea Dragons 2-1 to win the cup.

Cuation entered the World Cup with hopes of doing well but a run of defeats saw the land plunged into civil war. With a few games left, Cuation had slipped to bottom but a late surge carried them into 7th place, only two points behind Nanakaland.

Cuation's problem had been failing to beat the little teams, like Athestan, losing both games 1-0, while somehow managing results like a 3-0 win over the Weegies. The team could rouse themselves for the big games but in a qualifying group, it ensures Cuation can not get out but hope for 5-7 position and be a middling team. Cuation needs to find some consistency to go with their talent.

Onwards into the Cup of Harmony where Cuation got an easy group and sailed through, 2-2 draw with Ariddia apart. Cuation staggered through into the semi finals, thanks to a shock win against Nedalia but lost to Yafor and then where well beaten by Praying2God in the play off match.

With a cup win under their belt, fourth place was a proud achievement for this team but this time, the goal is simple: Be Consistent and beat the lesser teams.

Team News: Two old legends played their testimonials at the Sky Peak Stadium as they retired from the game. Goalkeeper Neville Clarkson and winger Stanley Edwards played vital parts in the Cuation teams first season and will be missed. Taking the missing space on the bench will be middling winger, Steven Milnar.

This year will be Abel Robinson’s last, the experienced holding player has been a rock for the team to form around. More often then not, the opposition are forced to play long or go out wide as Abel blocks any attempt to go through the middle.

BFSA Formed at Prime Minister's Request

Prime Minister, Stephen Hawdon, has instructed his Sporting and Health Minister, James McClean, to unite Bazalonia's three soccer Associations, The Bazalonian Soccer League (BSL), Super Soccer Bazalonia (SSB) and the FreeForm Soccer Association (FFSA) and form one national soccer association. This new soccer association, The Bazalonian Federation of Soccer Associations (BFSA). This new association will replace all three soccer leagues. The details will be finalised and the old leagues will be shut down and replaced with the new one. The consequences of this is that for the next year Bazalonia for the first time will be elligible to apply to participate in the 26th World Cup. When interviewed the Prime Minister denies that this move was done at the request of his cousin Caine Hawdon, the best coachin the BSL.

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Bazalonia in WC Tournaments

For the first time, Bazalonia has entered into the world cup, the 26th World Cup to be precise as well as the pre-cursor Baptism of Fire tournament. The BFSA has yet to announce a player roster but the coaches for whatever team takes the field has been announced... The Prime Ministers Cousin has been announced as the lead coach for the team who has just been tagged as the Bazalonian Bazalopes. Caine's assistant coaches are to be Malcolm Frost from the old Super Soccer Bazalonia league and Jayne Heart from the old FreeForm Soccer Association and Caine rounds the trio being from the old Bazalonian Soccer Federation.

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The coaching team for the Bazalonian national soccer team, The Bazalopes, have published the following press release.

"With the rapid approach of the 26th soccer world cup and 2 wins out of 2 matches for the Bazalopes in the introductory "Baptism of Fire" tournament. We beleive that the Bazalopes are ready to face the best out there. Nations like Sarzonia, Rejistania & Starblaydia. We see no reason that we can't take Bazalonia to the highest ranks of International soccer. We are ready to explode onto the international scene and disturb the cart for the more established teams. Watch out, for the Bazalopes are coming your way!"

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

The Holy Synod's Christmas message to the football fans of the Archregimancy
(Old Calendar December the 25th falling on New Calendar January 7th this year)

"Beloved in the Lord your Graces the archpastors, the honourable priesthood, the diaconate in Christ, God-loving monks, pious laity – faithful children of the Orthodox Church! On this holy and all-joyful day with love we congratulate the Archregimancy squad on finishing as runners up in the most recent Cup of Harmony. Even though they wuz robbed.

But was losing the final such a terrible burden?

The world around us calls us ever more often to worship the idols of fame, power, abundance and pleasures. Yet the Church knows that this path leads to nowhere. In following it we receive not freedom but slavery, not joy but disillusionment, not strength but destruction, not life but death. Yet in following Christ, the wise men and the shepherds, who trustingly believed in Him, we not only ourselves acquire the true good but can also enlighten the whole world with what we say and do and through our prayers. I call upon all of you on the squad to this, whether players, coaches or support staff. Come, my beloved, and together we will venerate the Infant God, offering to Him the gift of our lives, our faith, our resolve to labour boldly and untiringly in His name, and maybe win a couple of football matches, for the good of the Church and all people who need our help.

So in preparing for the forthcoming World Cup, the 26th edition of that famous tournament, let the team follow the precepts of St. Ambrose of Milan and ‘in greeting the day of the Lord’s Nativity, cleanse ourselves, brothers, from all impurity of sin, let us fill His treasure trove with varied gifts so that on this holy day there is something with which we can give comfort to strangers, lighten the burden of widows and clothe the poor’. So then let us combine our efforts so that the joy of the Nativity of Christ enter every home and touch the heart and soul of every person.

In other words, winning ain't everything so long as you play in the correct monastic spirit - which given the qualifying format for this year's tournament, is probably just as well"


(OOC: The above is largely edited from extracts from Patriarch Alexy II of Moscow's 2005 Christmas address. I'm going to hell for this one, aren't I?)

(OOC: The above is largely edited from extracts from Patriarch Alexy II of Moscow's 2005 Christmas address. I'm going to hell for this one, aren't I?)

"And now, we bring you Theology This Week, with Brother Andreas the Greek, Archpriest Vyacheslav the Russian, and special guest His Grace Michel, bishop of Laval. I'm your host, André Parizeau. We'll be coming to the mail-in questions in a few minutes, but first tonight we want to talk about the above question. Is The Archregimancy going to Hell for that one?"

Michel: "I'm fairly sure that's the case under canon law, but you can also burn in Hell for marrying an actress. So I think this will be a case for God's subjective judgment."

Andreas: "I concur. I think the basic question is whether or not it advances the faith enough to balance out the plagarism, and that question can't really be answered at this point."

Vyacheslav: "It's still up in the air, and God alone knows where it will fall down. But I think it will be swallowed up in the great issue of the legitimacy of the Archregimancy's football squad itself."

André: Thank you. Coming up next: North Americans wishing their Metropolitans could turn a phrase like that! Stay tuned.

L'association de soccer de Oliverry signs a new contract for their WC26-27-28 kits with OTC!

To celebrate the centennial of the World Cup, that will be held in Oliverry, l'association de soccer de Oliverry agreed to change their jersey. For this, they hired OTC, notably known to have done the jerseys of the Oliverrian Hockey League for over 8 years. The jerseys have been unveilled as well, here they are:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v338/Oli55/oliverrysoccerkithome.gif
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v338/Oli55/oliverrysoccerkitaway.gif

Everyone knew Pepsioli would be the official sponsor of World Cup 26 in Oliverry. So, Pepsioli is the official sponsor of the Oliverrian soccer team as well.

"This is a great achievement for our association", told Jimmy Lejeune, the new president of l'association de soccer de Oliverry. "We needed to get some new uniforms and it seems we got them. Very nice kits and we hope we will be going very far with them" he finished. Now, l'association de soccer de Oliverry is waiting for other associations for some practice games. Anyone interested can call Jimmy Lejeune about this.

Theology Today - Monastic TV's most popular show!
with Fr. Seraphim the Occasionally Dangerously Free-thinking Theologian

"Welcome to Theology Today. I'd like to bring you a fascinating clip of a recent discussion from the TV of our Orthodox Friends in New Montreal States:

"And now, we bring you Theology This Week, with Brother Andreas the Greek, Archpriest Vyacheslav the Russian, and special guest His Grace Michel, bishop of Laval. I'm your host, André Parizeau. We'll be coming to the mail-in questions in a few minutes, but first tonight we want to talk about the above question. Is The Archregimancy going to Hell for that one?"

Michel: "I'm fairly sure that's the case under canon law, but you can also burn in Hell for marrying an actress. So I think this will be a case for God's subjective judgment."

Andreas: "I concur. I think the basic question is whether or not it advances the faith enough to balance out the plagarism, and that question can't really be answered at this point."

Vyacheslav: "It's still up in the air, and God alone knows where it will fall down. But I think it will be swallowed up in the great issue of the legitimacy of the Archregimancy's football squad itself."

André: Thank you. Coming up next: North Americans wishing their Metropolitans could turn a phrase like that! Stay tuned.

"Now, the basic question here is whether the Holy Synod of the Archregimancy is going to Hell for plaigarising His Holiness Alexy II, Patriarch of Moscow and All Russia.

New Montreal States' panel make an intriguing reference to Canon Law, though of course, as noted by the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of North America: 'Unlike the canon law of the Roman Catholic Church, the canon law of the Orthodox Church has not been codified. Neither is it prescriptive in character, anticipating a situation before it actually takes place; instead, it is corrective in nature, responding to a situation once it has occurred. Because of the absence of a universal codification binding upon all autocephalous or self-governing Orthodox Churches, great importance is attached to the local legislation of each of these Churches.'

Now, I think we can safely assume that the Seven Ecumenical Councils never had to deal with nations whose very reality some have questioned mangling the Christmas address of the fifth-ranked Patriarch of the Orthodox Church (excluding that heretical schismatic in Rome) after pushing 'ctrl-c', then 'ctrl-v', and adding a few choice references to football. Therefore it is of vital importance to ask whether the local legislation of the Holy Synod of the Archregimancy legislates against the act of plaigarism. It clearly does not, or they wouldn't have done it. And as this is a situation not previously foreseen by a council of the church - whether local or Ecumenical - it arguably does not break Orthodox Canon Law.

Unless, of course, one considers the very act of plaigarism stealing. Which is a very bad thing indeed. And it is precisely to address this very point that I have been authorised to provide a link to the Patriarch's original full message, so that watchers of this show can share the Nativity Message: http://www.mospat.ru/index.php?page=29063 (http://www.mospat.ru/index.php?page=29063)

As to the broader point NMS's panel makes about advancing the faith and the very legitimacy of the Archregimancy's football team, I will admit that I have suffered much doubt on this very point over the past few months myself. Could the very existence of a team of footballing Orthodox Monks be seen as somehow illegitimate or sacriligeous? I take great comfort in something my friend Fr. John the Golden-Throated said to me just the other day.... 'Whatever satirical elements exist in the reporting of Archregimancy matches are clearly done with affection - a faith that cannot laugh at itself is a faith that lacks a crucial element of love. And besides, I bet you more people have learned more about Orthodoxy through the actions of the Archregimancy and New Montreal States than they would have done had the teams never been formed.'

Wise words, my brothers.... wise words indeed....

Next week we bring you a discussion on the heretical Nestorian refusal to refer to the Ever-Virgin Mary as the Theotokos, but until then, I've been Fr. Seraphim. Goodnight, and God bless."

Sea Dragons Ready for 2nd WC Experience!

This is Kellan Kildan of the new ASMV Football News Network with a special report.

There is much buzzing through sources close to the squad. It seems that a new style of play will accompany the new faces and old ones alike to WC26.
The new "Tidal Surge" strategy should throw a few wrinkles for squads that have faced the Sea Dragons before. This sytem makes use of the talent available in ASMV as football is stil relatively new, but now is gaining some great momentum. More Information on this "Tidal Surge" will follow as we get it.

Expect the hard, physical defense to be back this time around. Unami Banta-N'bai is joined by younger brother Unori and standout keeper, Shaun Conarky will be there to keep the scoring to a minimum. Evan Evans and Malachi James both have moved to the midfield for this new style. The position suits both players rather well. The lightening quick attack shall return as well with both Pablo Iglesias and Porche Alexander returning to wreak havoc on opposing keepers. With some experience now, expect Porche to make a real name for herself.

All in all, this should be a great cup for the Sea Dragons. We can expect fewer of those haunting 2-1 losses that plagued the squad since Cuation pulled the upset in the WC25 BoF. We have always competed with the higher ranked teams and made them earn their victories. Now the squad has to learn how to finish lesser opponents.

In other news surrounding WC26, Sea Dragon fans everywhere are preparing to support the nations adopted brethren, Cuation. Also, the Hyppos of Hypocria have made some fans in ASMV as well. Expect to see some blue and yellow in the stands when those teams take the field.

It is also rumored that Yumbo Jumbo will unveil this years version of the controversial gums that caused much debate in WC25. We can hardly wait to see what comes out of this sticky topic this go round.

This has been Kellan Kildan of the ASMV Football News Network.
Until next time....

Friendly matches arranged
The FALE have confirmed that friendly matches have been aranged pre-WC26, and that there were still spots open for teams to approach for a friendly.

-> Liverpool England v Liverpool England under 21s, Jan 7, 2140; first leg
-> Liverpool England under 21s v Liverpool England, Jan 10, 2140; second leg
-> Slot open, Jan 14, 2140 [OOC: Jan 5, 2006]
-> Slot open, Jan 18, 2140 [OOC: Jan 6, 2006]
-> Liverpool England v Liverpool England league select, Jan 22, 2140; first leg
-> LE league select v Liverpool England, Jan 25, 2140; second leg.

The coaching team for the Bazalonian national soccer team, The Bazalopes, have published the following press release.

"With the rapid approach of the 26th soccer world cup and 2 wins out of 2 matches for the Bazalopes in the introductory "Baptism of Fire" tournament. We beleive that the Bazalopes are ready to face the best out there. Nations like Sarzonia, Rejistania & Starblaydia. We see no reason that we can't take Bazalonia to the highest ranks of International soccer. We are ready to explode onto the international scene and disturb the cart for the more established teams. Watch out, for the Bazalopes are coming your way!"

Cuation manager rebukes The Bazalopes

After reading the press release, young manger Jude Takerath felt moved to issue his own press release to all those involved in the Baptism of Fire and to one team in particular

"I would like to wish all the teams in the Baptism of Fire the best of luck. Hopefully this one will not suffer from the murder of the match official or a successful coach. However each team does, the experience will prove useful for all."

"I fear however that The Bazalopes should be careful, they have only won two games, they have not even won their group or won the Baptism of Fire. Then there is the matter of the World Cup being much harder then anything they can expect. My team won the last Baptism of Fire and have been watching this cup carefully and while the quality is better this time around, we only just avoided finishing bottom of our group. I think that the step up will be a shock for all the teams involved. If any team wishes to test themselves against the Cuation team after they are finished in the cup, we will gladly play them in a friendly, home or away."

In other news, the team has enjoyed the rest they so deserve after a hard year but when they have trained, many fans have turned out in the new kit with the away kit seeming to be a fan favourite. The Sea Dragons again have high support among the Cuation fans, the media promising to cover both Cuation and the Sea Dragons in this coming year.

The lads at Cuation star wonder what gum we will get this time.


WC26 Game Most Wanted Gift

Millions of people have already attempted to preorder it as the memories of many happy hours on the last game has resurfaced. Last year the Cuation team had it play out thier matches to see what the game thought would happen. NJow with an option to create your own team, the goverment is going to close schools and places of work for a week as nobody turned up for the first three days of release.

Isserson Dies

Although at his age(107), death is to be expected, Karim Issersons death still came as a shock to everyone, despite the fact that Isserson emigrated to Krytenia years ago. Isserson was the coach who organized and prepared the Tadjiks for the World Cup many years ago and everyone who has known him will agree that he was essential in the early years of Tadjikistans international career.

President Kolchak announced a day of mourning today as he heard the news. Fans brought flowers to Dushanbe, and laid them down either at the Krytenian embassy or the Stadion of SKA Pamir Dushanbe, which will from now on be known as the 'Isserson' Stadion. Michael Frunze, president of the Football Federation, sent his condolenses to the family of Karim Isserson in Krytenia and hopes to visit them as soon as possible.

Isserson joined SKA Pamir Dushanbe's(then known simply as the 'Pamir Team') youth team in the late fourties while he worked in a factory to provide for his large family. He never really impressed as a player but appeared to be an able organizer when he was accepted to coach that same youth team years later. within four years he rose up through the ranks and became the coach of the main team leading it to victory in the Tadjik first division. After repeated victories as national champion, he was accepted as first coach of the Tadjik Tigers(the name had not yet been chosen at that time).

Building up a team and staff from nothing isnt easy, but certainly not impossible, as Isserson proved during the qualifications of World Cup 13, where he managed to hold of Eauz with a 1-1 draw; A legend was born. His death is undoubtedly a great loss to Krytenia as well as Tadjikistan.

[OOC: Please forgive this tag, but Jolt is slaniing and absolutely will not let me subscribe to threads in the normal fashion this morning on either my Windows machine or my Linux machine. My apologies.]

TO: M. Frunze, Tadjikistan Football Federation
FR: M. Warzycha, Krytenia FA

We thank you for your kind comments, and wish to extend the same for you. We also have a proposal. As football (for both our nations) was Mr. Isserson's greatest passion, we feel his memory should be commemorated with a pair of friendlies, one at the Isserson Stadion in Dushanbe, the other at the Isserson Stadium in Everton City. These friendlies would be played before the qualifiers of World Cup 26, with the gate receipts going to charities in the two nations.

We would also be interested in having you visit Everton City later this month, where Hassan Isserson shall be unveiling a statue outside the stadium in memory of his grandfather.

Yours,
Marshall Warzycha
Chairman, KFA

Transcript: "The Scott Patrick Show", 103.8 FM CasariRadio4

Patrick: Now, we're going to move to the upcoming World Cup. While the Baptism of Fire is going on right now, we can't speculayte about the newcomers. But noone on top is going to change, therefore we can speculate until the cows come home about our chances. Personally, I'm not thrilled. The Special Inquiry analysis showed clearly that teams trying to break through are throughly repulsed. Hopefully, with a good draw and a good home crowd, that won't happen to us. Now, I can see we have lots of people calling in over this, so let's go to the boards, shall we? Eddie from Tyrellia, you're on the air.

Caller 1: Thanks, Scott. I was wondering, who do you have winning it all this year?

Patrick: That's a heavy question, to be honest. There's a lot of soccer to be played before we get anywhere close to the final. But, because it's what I do, I'm going to pick a winner before any draws and any games are played. I'm going to take Bedistan to win. If anyone's due, they have to be. Next caller is James, from Dixon.

Caller 2: What would you say about complaints over the recent actions of Coach Hill playing the starters in friendlies?

Patrick: This has been a big topic of debate around the offices. While the risk of injuring the stars before the show even starts is there, there's a definate argument for starting the starters. Without a rhythm built up between the members of the team in actual game action, we'll be off for a start like the last World Cup. Instead, we want it to go like the end of the World Cup. Next we have Will from Netsuoka.

Caller 3: What do you think of the Synod's using elements of the Patriarch's address?

Patrick: Well, there's nothing wrong with it from my point of view. I know I've adapted some of the Pope's saying for my own use, and as far as I know, his Holiness hasn't had me condemned. It's all well and good in the end. Andy from Tyir, you're next.

Caller 4: Ronalo and Roe scored in a 2-0 win against the second leg against the Second Empire today at National. Did you get a positive feeling from the game?

Patrick: I did. I think it showed the team is developing well and is only benefiting from these Pre-Cup competitions. I hear the feeliers are out on lining a few more of these up before the competition starts. All right, This is our last caller before we have to go to commercial. Scott from Arcadia?

Caller 5: I heard there were plans in the work for building a new, modern National Stadium. What have you heard?

Patrick: There have been a few rumblings, but I don't think anything is definate yet. Now, after these messages, we'll be back to talk more about the World Cup and the apparent lack of Pre-Cup competitions, regardless of not knowing about any that would have existed.

FALE confirm friendlies against Commerce Heights, Oliverry, Gaian Ascendancy

The FALE has confirmed that three full international friendlies are to be played by the Liverpool England World Cup squad before they embark on their World Cup qualifying campaign. This pre-WCQ round of friendlies, which include two two-legged ties against the national under21 squad and a league select of best players from the league, comes as the FALE pushes for a third World Cup triumph.

In the first leg of the tie against the national under-21 squad, the national side soundly thrashed their junior team 5-1 in a one-sided match. The only under-21 goal came courtesy of a deflection off Nicholas Thompson.

-> Liverpool England 5-1 Liverpool England under 21s, Jan 7, 2140; first leg
-> Liverpool England under 21s v Liverpool England, Jan 10, 2140; second leg
-> Gaian Ascendancy, Jan 14, 2140 [OOC: Jan 5, 2006]
-> Oliverry, Jan 18, 2140
-> Liverpool England v Liverpool England league select, Jan 22, 2140; first leg
-> LE league select v Liverpool England, Jan 25, 2140; second leg.
-> Commerce Heights, Feb 1, 2140

Cuation manager rebukes The Bazalopes

After reading the press release, young manger Jude Takerath felt moved to issue his own press release to all those involved in the Baptism of Fire and to one team in particular

"I would like to wish all the teams in the Baptism of Fire the best of luck. Hopefully this one will not suffer from the murder of the match official or a successful coach. However each team does, the experience
will prove useful for all."

"I fear however that The Bazalopes should be careful, they have only won two games, they have not even won their group or won the Baptism of Fire. Then there is the matter of the World Cup being much harder then anything they can expect. My team won the last Baptism of Fire and have been watching this cup carefully and while the quality is better this time around, we only just avoided finishing bottom of our group. I think that the step up will be a shock for all the teams involved. If any team wishes to test themselves against the Cuation team after they are finished in the cup, we will gladly play them in a friendly, home or away."

In other news, the team has enjoyed the rest they so deserve after a hard year but when they have trained, many fans have turned out in the new kit with the away kit seeming to be a fan favourite. The Sea Dragons again have high support among the Cuation fans, the media promising to cover both Cuation and the Sea Dragons in this coming year.

The lads at Cuation star wonder what gum we will get this time.




After being shown Cuation Press release Caine Hawdon the Chief Coach as well as Malcolm Frost and Jayne Heart his Assistant Coaches had organised an impromptu press conference and this is what they had to say.

Caine Hawdon started this press conference...

"While we appreciate the best wishes from the Cuation management. I think they should only really worry aboutwhat they say and not what some "upstart" new comer that is currently only in the Baptism of Fire...

What is wrong with expressing confidence in our team? What is wrong to aim to be the best? What is wrong to have pride in what our team has so far achieved? Nothing. We also have a number of issues, when your press-release was issued we had won three out of three matches and our next match was up against the lowest ranked team in our group, we where virtually guarenteed to win it and win all 4 of our matches, which by the way as of this morining we had. And gain a perfect 12 out of 12 point score against thhe second placed Qutar which had a bye on the last match day. So as you can see we are and where almost guarenteed to have the top position within our group. As of what happens in the Knock-out rounds and in the World cup. Does it look like we have a crystal ball... " Caine whispers something about finding a crystal ball to Malcolm. "... No we don't we don't know what is going to happen in the World Cup or in the knock out round of the Baptism of Fire but the Bazalopes are not the Cuation team and we greatly believe in our team and we believe that we will not fail like the Cuation team did in the World Cup after wining the Baptism of Fire. Thank you for coming. That is all."

The assistant Caoches nodded and left with Caine Hawdon leading the way

(OOC: the opinions of mycoaching team are not mine)

Dutch Times

Jeruselem has officially made Guus Hiddink it's official coach for the World Cup 26 team. Us Dutchies don't get much press about our folks here, but in the Holy Land they have appointed one of ours to lead the World Cup 26 team.

The Assistant Coach is Park Jee Wan, a South Korean. It will be interesting with an Asian and Dutchman coaching a mixed team of Arabs, Europeans and Jews. However, we believe Guus will lead Jeruselem to group stage again like past great coaches of Jeruselem.

The current team is effectively the U21 team which hasn't played a U21 game as no U21 championships have occured recently. All the previous players have retired or moved to coaching.

The Rolatian Telegraph
The number one Rolatian broadsheet since 1864
August 28th 2006
Rolatia win friendly
The Rolatian football team, after their abysmal showing in Baptism of Fire 26, have today won their second match - a home game against the nation of Armed Riches - thanks to a 90th minute goal by Oliver Morgan, former substitute a few months ago who's quickly rooting himself in the main team with the poor performance of Ian Jasofiah, who didn't even make the bench this game.

The game was played in The Den, stadium of reigning domestic champions New Millwall - it could not be played in Armed Riches on account of the fact that the government do not personally own any stadiums. 95,000 Rolatians and 30,000 Armed Richians turned out for the game which contained many top players from both countries.

The action started slowly, with the first twenty minutes yielding just three shots on goal - the three were easily saved, two by Ramar and one at the other end was headed away by Rifkin. The pace speeded up, with an all-out assault starting on Rolatia towards the end of the first half. The only substitution in the game was made around this - Thieson, the armed Richian striker, was taken off after an awful performance ivolving precisely zero shots on goal.

In the second half, the pace started to turn away from Rolatia and both teams started to defend fervently, determined not to concede a goal - Armed Riches doubly so, since this was their first international game. However, Rolatia managed to breach Armed Riches defences several times, striking in a goal in the 78th minute only for it to be declared, before Oliver Morgan managed to hit a magnificent strike in extra time to end the game at Rolatia 1, Armed Riches 0. There was cheering from the Rolatian fans, but they know that the World Cup qualifying in a couple of years will be tougher.

Rolatia (4-3-1-2):Ramar 8, Arast 7, Raksi 6, Jojuifag 7, Vokisp 7, Safalan 7, Dunkel 8, Kasfuh 7, Saloir 9, Verres 7, Morgan 10 (MOM, gl 90)
Unused Subs: Rogers, Clarke, Koiraj, Koigda, Stephenson

Armed Riches (4-4-2):Jefferson 4, Rifkin 6, Dodinas 5, Black 6, Longfellow 6, Washington 6, Fellow 6, Shiomi 5, Hendrikson 5, Thieson 3 (sub 35 Bush 6), King 6
Unused Subs: Smith, Trax, Mombota, Gutenburg

TO: M. Frunze, Tadjikistan Football Federation
FR: M. Warzycha, Krytenia FA

We thank you for your kind comments, and wish to extend the same for you. We also have a proposal. As football (for both our nations) was Mr. Isserson's greatest passion, we feel his memory should be commemorated with a pair of friendlies, one at the Isserson Stadion in Dushanbe, the other at the Isserson Stadium in Everton City. These friendlies would be played before the qualifiers of World Cup 26, with the gate receipts going to charities in the two nations.

We would also be interested in having you visit Everton City later this month, where Hassan Isserson shall be unveiling a statue outside the stadium in memory of his grandfather.

Yours,
Marshall Warzycha
Chairman, KFA
TO: M. Warzycha, Krytenia FA
Fr: M. Frunze, Tadjikistan National Football Federation

There is no need in thanking us for remembering a man who put our nation on the map, he was as much a hero to us as he was to you.
And just because he was such an important element in the history of both our nations, playing a couple of friendlies in memory of Mr Isserson is considered essential to honour him.
We will start preparing the friendly match in Dushanbe, inviting all people who knew or worked with him. Tickets to this match will be sent to all Krytenians who played a role in his life; his relatives, ex players and collegues, etc. Our receipts will probably be used for the improvement of our soccer youth organizations and teams. It was one of the things he always wanted to see improved, it is how he would have wanted it.

Furthermore I would consider it an honour to meet Mr Issersons grandson and be present when his statue is unveiled. Please notify me when this ceremony and meeting will take place.

After being shown Cuation Press release Caine Hawdon the Chief Coach as well as Malcolm Frost and Jayne Heart his Assistant Coaches had organised an impromptu press conference and this is what they had to say.

Caine Hawdon started this press conference...

"While we appreciate the best wishes from the Cuation management. I think they should only really worry aboutwhat they say and not what some "upstart" new comer that is currently only in the Baptism of Fire...

What is wrong with expressing confidence in our team? What is wrong to aim to be the best? What is wrong to have pride in what our team has so far achieved? Nothing. We also have a number of issues, when your press-release was issued we had won three out of three matches and our next match was up against the lowest ranked team in our group, we where virtually guarenteed to win it and win all 4 of our matches, which by the way as of this morining we had. And gain a perfect 12 out of 12 point score against thhe second placed Qutar which had a bye on the last match day. So as you can see we are and where almost guarenteed to have the top position within our group. As of what happens in the Knock-out rounds and in the World cup. Does it look like we have a crystal ball... " Caine whispers something about finding a crystal ball to Malcolm. "... No we don't we don't know what is going to happen in the World Cup or in the knock out round of the Baptism of Fire but the Bazalopes are not the Cuation team and we greatly believe in our team and we believe that we will not fail like the Cuation team did in the World Cup after wining the Baptism of Fire. Thank you for coming. That is all."

The assistant Caoches nodded and left with Caine Hawdon leading the way

(OOC: the opinions of mycoaching team are not mine)

OC: in no way do any of my posts reflect my real views

With the team taking shots at Gary Jens, the manager Jude clearly had not been expecting the press to pressure him into a reply. As one reporter waves the press release under his nose, Jude read it though he seemed unhappy at the last but one line.

"All I was trying to do was give due warning that they might find the step up hard and not be too confident or the shock may cause them problems. Pride, confidence is good but while they have played well to go unbeaten so far, they have not faced the likes of the Weegies. Expectations may rise if they do well in the BoF and that can damage a team who might find the step up hard."

"Failure? True, we failed to beat the lesser teams and finished seventh in our group but we won the BoF, beat the Weegies 3-0 and got to the semis of the Cup of Harmony, all in our first year. I would say that is quite successful but if they believe they can match us, I would enjoy a friendly with The Bazalopes between the BoF and the World Cup."

This is Kellan Kildan of the ASMV Football News Network.

It seems that there is much ado concerning yet another BoF participant. Bazalonia appears to be following the same path that our very own Sea Dragons took when in the WC25 BoF. Great early play against similar opponents has resulted in their media issuing statements that the Kings and Queens of football had better take notice. Sounds very much like our own team had done.

Now I would like to fill Balazonia in on the rest of the story.

ASMV entered the BoF final undefeated, with only one match having been really competitive. A great Cuation effort handed the Sea Dragons their first ever international defeat.

Still riding high hopes, The squad entered the JJJ only to fall just short in every single match. 2-1 being the predominate score of each. Only a fluke in the very last matched saved the Sea Dragons from being completely shut out of the win collumn.

Then came the WC25 qualifiers. 18 matches against primarily far superior squads. The Sea Dragons managed only 3 points in the first eleven matches before pulling it together with a late run. 2-1 losses still plagued the squad. The only saving factor being that much higher ranked squads only managed to scratch out victories rather than destroying us.

And finally, the Cup of Harmony, where the 2-1 losing curse continued.

Doing well early in the BoF is a great thing and ASMV wishes Bazalonia nothing but the best of luck, unless you face us. But the competition level in the WC proper is something that you will find to be much more difficult to deal with. Get used to finding creative ways to vent frustration.

In other news ASMV will be competing in a friendly with the Hyppos in Hyppocria. Excitement is rather high, but some small voice must predict for us to be on the wrong end of a 2-1 score.

Yumbo Jumbo announced today that the new bubble gum flavors will be announced sometime on Friday and may cause more of last campaign's controversy and discussion.

This has been Kellan Kildan of the ASMV Football News Network.

The Elrich Emerald

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b274/John_Spinks/Elrichlogopaint.jpg

THE MAN WHO CRIED WOLF
Controversy as Bassett calls "the Wolfman" into World Cup Squad

Religious leaders and many of the Elrichian public are up in arms after the Badgers manager Mike Bassett included the fearsome Wolfman in his World Cup squad.

The Wolfman, who "plays" his club football in Elrich for the Circus Bohemians is renowned for his feroicious and demonic behaviour both on and off the pitch, having been dismissed in every league game he participated in and being suspected of night attacks on the Elrichian public. At the centre of defense his strength and power is unquestionable, but many Elrichians are disgusted that he has been included in the squad.

"The Wolfman is a beast for christs sake," said mother-of-two Marian Dumpling, "The children of Elrich look up to the national players, what kind of a role-model is a barbaric monster!"

Leader of the Elrichian Catholic Church, Arch Bishop Brian was also disgusted at the announcement, "THE CREATURE IS THE SPAWN OF SATAN!!!" shouted an enraged Brian, "He has chosen the number 666 for the love of god! How can we allow this to happen!"

Fanatical Elrichian football fan Andy James, member of the famously passionate Elrichian "Yellow Army" was also disheartened at the selection, but purely on footballing abililty. "The guy's a liability! Sent off in every league match this season? He'll probably endanger our players as well! There's no way Bassett can control him! He'll be an embarrassment to Elrichian sport".

There were however a minority who were delighted with the Wolfman's selection, with the Werewolf minority delighted and "partying" into the night, as the fearsome centre-back becomes the first Werewolf to represent the country. The circus community also support the move, but it is a deep issue in Elrich at the moment. The reaction from the international community could be extrememly interesting, with holy nations such as Praying2God or The Archregimancy bound to be amongst a huge selection of nations against Wolfman's involvement. The Wolfman has chosen number 666, but it is yet to be confirmed that the organising committee will allow a three-digit squad-number to be issued.

Mike Bassett had this to say on the issue,
"I really don't see what the fuss is about! With Vinnie Jones retiring I needed to include someone to give that aggression, that extra bit of bite to the team. The Wolfman disciplinary record has been maybe not the best but I'm sure I can control him, remember he's not been sent off before........ at international level!"

Bassett refused to comment on Tabloid reports that the Wolfman had been involved in a training ground clash with Gez Murphy, stating that Murphy's gashed neck was a run-of-the-mill training ground injury.

Has Bassett unleashed a Howler? Please send in your views.

The Wentair jumbo touched down at Loaph International Airport to raucous and rapturous cheers. So near yet so far. But the Wents had been captivated by their team's attempts in the Baptism of Fire Tournament and the extraordinarily cruel fortune inflicted on them.

The team, still distraught, were mobbed as they passed through the airport and coach Edgar Bluff had to deliver an impromptu press conference in order to still the feverish demand for comment.

"Edgar, how disappointing is it that we were knocked out on a tie-break?"

"Hugely. Yes, we were unfortunate. However that's the way it goes. We knew the rules at the start and we just did not get going in our first match. That has effectively cost us."

"You don't think it was a mistake leaving Frankie T on the bench for so long against New Historia?"

"No, the lad was exhausted after the first three matches. I thought he needed a rest before the big game and brought him on with 20 minutes to go when the Historians' defence was tired. Especially as we had taken the lead a couple of minutes before, another psychological hit for them; they knew they were going out barring a miracle and only had one goal all tournament, so we just threw caution to the wind."

"What about the penalty late on?"

"I thought at the time it was a definite penno. Seeing it on the replay I am even more sure. But if you look the ref can't see the handball, there are too many bodies in the way. The assistant should have seen it but I think he bottled it."

"What are you taking forward into the World Cup?"

"We have a decent squad. Their baptism of fire has hopefully forged them in the white heat of competition and we can mould them into a formidable unit. There may be some tinkering to do but we'll wait for the draw.

"The annoying thing is that the luck of the draw went totally against us. No other group had former World Cup finalists in them. And we had the crucial game with Majeristan right after playing them - I had to pick up the squad off the floor, they were so exhausted. Look what the Majeristanis did to the Bunungs, we gave them a far tougher game than they did."

"Tactically, did you get it right?"

"I think so. What we did not get right was the preparation. We were shell-shocked in the first match, we did not know what to expect, and that is what cost us. Had we just nicked a point there we would be through. Even if we conceded one less we'd still be out there. But I am pleased that we kept going and going and going and stole a goal there; it nearly proved crucial.

"You have to remember that we need to play in systems we know. No point in tinkering with the formation when everyone against us is an unknown. But we gave it our best shot. Had we got into the knockouts I think we could really have done something, we had a tough group and I bet our opponents will make it very far in the last 16.

"Can I say a word for our fans over there. They were bitterly disappointed at going out in such a rancorous manner but they did not cause trouble. Indeed I've heard a load of them are staying to support Majeristan, who did not roll over and die in the last round of matches and play for a safe draw."

BoF Hopes ALIVE! But at What Cost?
Northern Voobaha advances to Elmination Round


For Blue Candle coach Andre Patteson, it's not the most comfortable situation. Trying to pace his players for he upcoming World Cup, while wanting to keep up the high tempo game that has advanced them out of the group stages of the Baptism of Fire. And the first elimination match may end his concerns.

First round opponent Apologetic Kittens story parallels ours. They also had the 5th game bye, and also knew they were advancing, but neither knew if they would have the number one or two slot in their group.

"If there's one team in the knockouts I'm afraid of, it's the Kittens.", Paterson said, "And in typical tournament slani, we draw them right off the top. Honestly, whoever comes out of this match, I think they have a good shot at winning the BoF".

"There's no question they're good.. you don't get out of group by playing like crap," Jean-Michel Melby said about AK. "They may not score in bunches like we tend to do, but they use a good defense and solid net play to win 1-0 or 2-1.. like that."

The key matchup: Northen Voobaha's attack (10 goals in 4 matches, lead by Kendara's 3g, 3a) against a stingy Apologetic Kittens defense that only allowed 3 balls into the net in their 4 matches.

" If we score first, I think we can dictate the game," MF Willie Garrett said," that will put pressure on them to score.. and that's not their strength. If we fall behind, they'll just turtle up in that 5-4-1 Coach Moore likes, so getting first blood is our plan."

The match will both be televised NVNN and simulcast on RNV2. Voobahian language coverage is on NVNN Atletik and RNV Voo.

The year 2088 was only four days old and already the entire Bedistan Football Association was wishing it was over. Continued mechanical failures at the BFA were making it nearly impossible to get anything done. Particularly troubling was the fact that the BFA mainframe had been down for nearly sixty-four hours and counting. The whole IT department was apparently taking an extended holiday vacation - they were supposed to be back to restart operations on Friday, but it was now Sunday and nobody had shown up.

BFA president Sam Bacon sat at his desk, waiting angrily for the computer to start up. It was a very old machine, built back in the seventies. The 55 EHz* processor was agonizingly slow by today's standards, its 8 EB** of RAM was woefully inadequate, and Bacon couldn't think of anybody who would be able to fit everything he or she needed on a piddly little 64 WB*** hard drive. Still, it was the only computer he could use in the current situation.

"Sir?" The speaker on his desk crackled to life. It was his secretary, Vanessa. "I've got some members of the press on the line wondering why we haven't made any sort of statement about preparations for World Cup 26." Bacon suddenly became enraged. "Because we've got too much more bloody important stuff to be worrying about! If these guys don't get our computers fixed tomorrow, we might not even be able to organize our domestic competitions for the year, let alone international competition. Tell them they can go ---- themselves."

At the front desk, Vanessa sighed. Happy new year indeed...

* exahertz; 1 EHz = 10^18 Hz = 1 billion gigahertz
** exabytes; used in the binary sense to mean 2^60 bytes
*** wekabyte; "weka-" is a proposed prefix meaning 10^30, used in the binary sense to mean 2^100 bytes

OOC: Note: This is being RP'd to occur just after the Baptism of Fire Cup.

Coach suffers heart attack
Team left scrambling

Majeristan's national team coach Avid Mashoda was rushed to hospital late last night after suffering a heart attack minutes after his team completed a training session before the kickoff of World Cup XXVI.

Mashoda, 71, previously served as the Talzecki Tides coach when the would-be breakaway colony of Sarzonia established its own "national" side even though the parent nation of Sarzonia didn't recognise its independence. He was discovered by assistant coach Roger Taylor after Taylor arrived in Mashoda's office to discuss the team's practice.

"At this time, Avid Mashoda is in guarded condition," a hospital spokeswoman said. "He is being given the best care available to him and we are praying for his speedy recovery."

Taylor will serve as the team's acting head coach until Mashoda's status can be determined. The Majeristani Football Association has placed a call to "any available coach with World Cup experience" to serve as the team's full-time interim coach.

"This is a devastating moment in the early history of Majeristani football," Taylor said at a press conference. "Avid was dead set on coaching the team in its first game and he's hoping the team can rise up and overcome this terrible circumstance and rally together as a team."

Doctors have said the signs point to a "major" heart attack, but say that Taylor "saved his life" by calling 911 straight away.

Mashoda is reported to be at least 15 kilograms overweight and is eating a diet high in animal fats and low in fruits and vegetables. Akbar Mashoda, Avid's son and a former assistant coach for his father, said the heart attack "should be a wake up call" for his father.

"He's going to have to undergo a new programme of diet and exercise," Akbar Mashoda said. "For him to keep up the frenetic pace of a national team coach, he's going to have to watch his health."

Mashoda said before the World Cup that he intended to step down after the World Cup finals and turn the job over to Taylor, saying "managing in the World Cup is a young man's game." However, he said he wanted "one last go of the World Cup" because he thought the Falcons had talent.

"I want to see this programme prosper before I hang up my coaching credentials for good," he said in an interview conducted just two days before his heart attack.

<snip>Mike Bassett</snip>
OOC: Will you be playing FOUR-FOUR-*******-TWO? :P

To: BFA, Bedistan

The ASR offers the BedistanFA assistence by using more efficiently written software to oraganize the leagues, which can work on really low hardware-requirements (even though it has no graphical user interface of any kind). we can also offer an outdated SI computer which was catching dust in the cellar in case your computers can not handle our 'advansid'** hardware requirements. Unfortunately, the programs consume much RAM: entire 2 Megabytes! It's source also does not fit on one L1* Disk, so we would send it in a multidisk tarball on 3 L1s. You also need a text editor for the input files: We recommend "vi" for this since emacs is too bloated, it even swaps with 8 megabytes of RAM. To compile, you should have the Unix tools gcc, make, ld and some more. The source code is well documented.

*L1: Level 1: Floppy disk with additional error correction routines, it has 460 kilobytes of usable space.
** for rejistanians, avdanced and advansid would be pronounced alike. Advansid is a hardware manufacturer.

Leader of the Elrichian Catholic Church, Arch Bishop Brian was also disgusted at the announcement, "THE CREATURE IS THE SPAWN OF SATAN!!!" shouted an enraged Brian, "He has chosen the number 666 for the love of god! How can we allow this to happen!"

Dear King Elrich,

It has come to the attention of the Monastic Football Association that you plan on fielding a werewolf in your nation's World Cup qualifiers.

While reluctant to agree with heretical schismatic Catholics, the Holy Synod of the Archregimancy concurs with Archbishop Brian and would like to ask you to reconsider this decision. Werewolves have previously been common in many Orthodox countries, notably Romania, Ukraine, and Russia, and the Holy Synod therefore has some experience of these foul beasts.

Indeed, so do your co-religionists. Olaus Magnus, the last Catholic archbishop of Uppsala, wrote about werewolves secret societies as follows:

"On the feast of the Nativity of Christ, at night, such a multitude of wolves transformed from men gather together in a certain spot, arranged among themselves, and then spread to rage with wondrous ferocity against human beings, and those animals which are not wild, that the natives of these regions suffer more detriment from these, than they do from true and natural wolves; for when a human habitation has been detected by them isolated in the woods, they besiege it with atrocity, striving to break in the doors, and in the event of their doing so, they devour all the human beings, and every animal which is found within."

Given that we're in the middle of the festive Nativity season (25 Dec old calendar isn't until this Saturday, remember), is this really the sort of behaviour you wish to encourage in your fellow national team players?

Frankly, if the Archregimancy and the Kingdom of Elrich are drawn in the same qualifying group, we will be forced to refuse permission for the wolfman to enter our nation for the relevant qualifying match.

Have you perhaps considered shooting him with a silver bullet and allowing the Anathematic Republics to field the lycanthrope in question following his timely demise?

Yours in Christ,

The Holy Synod of the Archregimancy

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/4sport.png

Nomination of a Werewolf to Elrich National Team appears a source of controversy
CSA officals use chance to trash talk opponents as well as promote tolerance

"This is absolutely contrary to the messages of tolerance and understanding that we should be urging using such a national stage. I'm quite disturbed at the reaction, especally from the fellow people of God from the Archregimancy." Casaran Catholic Bishop Willham Fordham said to the press today. "Particularly suggesting that he be shot."

Backlash raged among many Casarans today at the blasting of "The Wolfman" being allowed on the national team from Elrich.

"The Manager's job is to get the team to win. That is all. If having a warewolf on the team is going to help them, godspeed and good luck." Coach Hill said on the matter to 4sport. "If I needed to name a Lion to the team to win, I would. Winning has to be the highest priority for any manager."

The Drunk fans had a different viewpoint. "Let them put whoever they want on the team, we can kick their a*s anyway!" One fan said, before lapsing into terrace songs being sung by the rest of the pub's patrons.

Other suggestions are that he be kept in a cage while not playing, or just a ritual blessing by local religious officials.

"If he's actually a werewolf, he should have a human/non-werewolf form. If he plays in that, it should be fine. If he doesn't, he might actually be a new species or some kind of Mutant." Said the Professor of Human Studies at Theodore University in Corneria.

THE MONASTIC TIMES

WOLFMAN CONTROVERSY GROWS
Spawn of Satan Defended by Casaran Schismatics

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe


Controversy over the Kingdom of Elrich's decision to field the Wolfman - wearing the shirt number 666 - in the forthcoming World Cup qualifiers continued to grow overnight as schismatic followers of the Pope of Rome in Casari attempted to defend the evil Hell-spawn.

"Given that the Casaran bishop doesn't even agree with the Elrichian bishop, we might respectfully suggest that the Roman Catholics get their own theological house in order before they start lecturing the Orthodox Church." Said a senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity. "First they insert words into the creed, next they claim monarchial rights for the Pope of Rome over the Eastern Patriarchs, now they can't even agree over whether the Wolfman is the Spawn of Satan (according to Elrich) or a human entity worthy of the Grace of the Church (according to Casari). Personally, while once again I stress my reluctance to concede that a Catholic might have a point, I would suggest that the opinion of the Archbishop Brian of Elrich - as someone who presumably has more direct personal experience of the Wolfman in question - carries more weight than that of Bishop William."

While a poll in yesterday's newspaper suggested that 82% of Archregimancy citizens agree with the Holy Synod, a rare dissenting voice came from Fr. Seraphim the Occasionally Dangerously Free-Thinking theologian, who stressed the need to understand the nature of the Wolfman's specific malady.
"Is he indeed a werewolf, or is he simply some sort of wolf-like human with anger-management issues? That's what I'd like to know" said Fr. Seraphim. "If the former, then I agree that the 6th Commandment doesn't necessarily apply, and that he should be humanely dispatched as quickly as possible before his evil can infect others. Perhaps if the silver bullet is blessed ahead of time, the soul of this unfortunate can still be saved even while the mortal flesh dies - always assuming that he didn't actively seek out his condition. On the other hand, I'm no expert on lycanthropy, so don't take that as an official theological opinion. If, however, this so-called 'wolfman' is merely a very hairy human with sharp fingernails, filed incisors, and an insatiable blood-lust, then I cannot condone his killing. We should hold out the possibility that God's infinite capacity for love and forgiveness applies to him as much as it does any human being - though I shan't personally be volunteering to baptise him before kick-off".

A spokesman from the Synodical Office For The Elimination of occult Evil, or SOFTEE, refused to comment about the specifics of the controversy, except to note that it was all well and good for Casaran academics to suggest that the Wolfman play in his human form, but how would the Casari national team feel about facing Elrich during a full moon? He then showed your humble reporter his brand new, and recently blessed, silver bullet-firing semi-automatic.

Sam Bacon's computer made a noise indicating that he had just received new e-mail. He clicked on the notification and was taken to it.

From: kansu.syku11@asr.esv.rj
To: president@bfa.co.bd
Subject: (no subject)

The ASR offers the BedistanFA assistence by using more efficiently written software to oraganize the leagues, which can work on really low hardware-requirements (even though it has no graphical user interface of any kind). we can also offer an outdated SI computer which was catching dust in the cellar in case your computers can not handle our 'advansid' hardware requirements. Unfortunately, the programs consume much RAM: entire 2 Megabytes! It's source also does not fit on one L1 Disk, so we would send it in a multidisk tarball on 3 L1s. You also need a text editor for the input files: We recommend "vi" for this since emacs is too bloated, it even swaps with 8 megabytes of RAM. To compile, you should have the Unix tools gcc, make, ld and some more. The source code is well documented.

Bacon scratched his head - he couldn't recall any time when 2 megabytes constituted "much RAM", and also didn't have a clue what on earth an "L1" was. Were the Rejistanians really living about a hundred years in the past? He honestly couldn't think of anything to say in response to the offer, so he forwarded it to the IT department, momentarily forgetting that there was still nobody there to handle it.

* * *

"The Manager's job is to get the team to win. That is all. If having a warewolf on the team is going to help them, godspeed and good luck." Coach Hill said on the matter to 4sport. "If I needed to name a Lion to the team to win, I would. Winning has to be the highest priority for any manager."

http://bellsouthpwp.net/h/a/harleyt_1387/bsd_banner.png

English applauds Hill

PORT LUSAMBO -- At the Bedistan Lions training ground in Port Lusambo, starting forward Billy English was asked what he thought about Casari manager Hill's statement regarding the "Wolfman" controversy in Elrich.

"Well, I really couldn't care less whether the people in Elrich let him play or not," he stated. "Provided they're not in our qualifying group. If they are, then I'd rather not have to face him. But I must say I fully agree with Coach Hill's acknowledgement of Lions helping a team to win. 'Cause believe me, the Lions have had their share of wins over the past eighty-five years and then some, and we're gonna keep that trend alive in World Cup 26. Say what you will about the Wolfman, but Coach Hill is spot on there."

OC: in no way do any of my posts reflect my real views

With the team taking shots at Gary Jens, the manager Jude clearly had not been expecting the press to pressure him into a reply. As one reporter waves the press release under his nose, Jude read it though he seemed unhappy at the last but one line.

"All I was trying to do was give due warning that they might find the step up hard and not be too confident or the shock may cause them problems. Pride, confidence is good but while they have played well to go unbeaten so far, they have not faced the likes of the Weegies. Expectations may rise if they do well in the BoF and that can damage a team who might find the step up hard."

"Failure? True, we failed to beat the lesser teams and finished seventh in our group but we won the BoF, beat the Weegies 3-0 and got to the semis of the Cup of Harmony, all in our first year. I would say that is quite successful but if they believe they can match us, I would enjoy a friendly with The Bazalopes between the BoF and the World Cup."

The Bazalonian Bazalopes Coaching team after discussing the issue of a friendly with Cuation has issued a press release.

"After receiving an invitation by the last BoF winner, Cuation, to participate in a friendly match. The Bazalonian Bazalopes regret to announce that due to the Teams Baptism of Fire tournament commitments and rigorous lead up to the 26th World Cup we will be unable to field a suitable team for the friendly and will have to decline the invitation."

The following message was the body of an email sent as a private communication from Caine Hawdon to the Cuation Team Manager.

"Let our results in the 26th World Cup speak for themselves... Whatever they may be."

Qutar Sports News Network

Good Morning Qutar, we're here at Estadije Najajara Ynu in Najajara kali for Qutar second round match against Gruenberg. The fans are all looking foward to this game, and they are expecting, after that 5-0 demolition of United Island Empires. It looks like the players are coming onto the pitch and lining up for the anthems. Both teams seem to be full of pride, this should be an interesting match.

It looks like Gruenberg have won the toss and are going to start the match, Geff spotting Treth making a run down the wing, oh he's got it, but nice tackle there from Nick Saunders, who starts making a move up the pitch, sees his brother and passes to him, and Chris starts a run through the midfield, jumps over Peen's tackle, sees Thomas making a run through, passes, he's not offside, he shoots, oh great save there by Poschelkin just managed to get his fingertips onto that one. It's Tomlin to take the corner he whips it in, meets the head of Ali, oh what a goal!! He scored and Qutar take the lead 6 minutes into the match!! 1-0! The crowd have gone wild!!

As Gruenberg start the match off again they drive forward, with Geff passing to Brebst, making a run down the centre of midfield, he passes back to Geff and Lemkes comes out to challenge him, but Geff passes back to Brebst who continued his run, he's on goal he shoots, oh what a fantastic save! He had to really stretch to get that one, it gone for a corner. Coccilianata is to take it, he puts it in the box, but Stone safely claims it as his own. And trys to get things moving again, getting it out to Gordon, who tries to get through the midfield, but its blocked by Urga, who takes possesion back, spots Brebst making a run, passes to him, and Brebst goes for the shot, straight into row Z I think. There are chants of "How high do you want the goal?", and I don't think he's two happy about that.

Its half an hour in and neither of the teams have been able to break the deadlock, with the action being in the midfield, but it looks like Gruenberg have been awarded a free kick with a yellow card going to Gordon, obviously frustrated, the free kick is going to be taken by Coccilianata, who swings it over the wall, oh its hit the crossbar, and Stone is stranded from the dive and Geff has just managed to scramble it in, oh no 1-1.

With ten minutes left of play in the first half, Qutar are to kick off and seem full of fire, to get a goal before half time. Thomas starts things off, as Ali makes a run down the centre of midfield, gets past Coccilianata and Urga, gets past Plofton and Peen, he through on goal, he goes roud the keeper, oh he's been brought down!! Penalty surely. WHAT!!! Ali has been booked for diving, the Qutar players are running in, they're protesting his decision, and oh Tomin has been booked as well for dissent, oh what a travasty. Its a free kick to Gruenberg then, he boots it up the pitch harmlessly to Lemkes, who starts trying to make a move up the pitch before the half time whistle, but to no avail, the whistle has just blown.


The Islands of Qutar 3 (1) - (1) 1 Gruenberg
Ali, 6, 48
Thomas 87


*OOC. Would RP the rest but have to go work*

ooc: Wrong thread, eh?

FORD SUES REJISTANIA

SFF Chief Michael Ford has hit out at the Rejistanian governemnt, claiming that they are influencing games using weird glowing balls the locals call va'karela.

"Surely it must be against some UN resolution somewhere to use these things against the subject's will!" Ford claimed on a trip to his lawyers in Kingsbury.

The theory behind the va'karela works like this. It's blue glow hypnotises you, and you think that defening is good. The only antidote has a side effect just as crazy, and if we told you it, you would just throw away your newspaper thinking we were making this up.

There is already evidence that forces are at work. Results from the last World Cup hosted by Rejistania led to a record number of goalless draws, and one Atlantian Oceanic newspaper to hold a competition to see who would get the most 0-0s. The winners, Spruitland, had half of their games finish that way, a record that Schiavonia only wish they could have this time around!

Lowe's only two problem will be tying it down to a particular UN resolution and the stern defence that the Rejistanians will put up. "There's piles of the things to be getting through, so I best be getting on."

Other news, Schiavonia will be sponsored by Sleepeeze sleeping pills for the rest of the Baptism of Fire tournament, in a hope that the association will boost their flagging sales. However, warnings about overdoses will also be highly prevelent.

Finally, only one entry has come in for the Schivone nickname competition, the suggestion of "Lines" from Collonie. However, it has been instantly rejected for it's obvious links with Ford's court case against Rejistania. Entries are to be sent to the Schiavone Football Federation (SFF).

"My Lord," the aide pleaded as his country's leader left his chair and headed for a large comfy leather sofa, "these documents require your signature, urgent matters of state are at hand..."

"Be. Quiet." Lord-Protector Tiberius Starblayde (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Tiberius_Starblayde) was a man who's word was law, quite literally. "There's a World Cup Preview on telly, and I want to see it."

"By you could just save it to a hard drive, my Lord, watch it after."

"No," Tiberius was adamant, "I want to watch it live. Now be off with you, make yourself useful somewhere else."

Grabbing the remote, Tiberius flicked on the large television screen and selected SCB:Sports (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Starblaydi_Combined_Broadcasting).

"...I'm Javi Hierro, and with me is the ever-lovely Saianne DeJardon who, I believe, has something rather special in her grasp. Saianne?"

"Yes, Javi, as you can see from the two burly security guards behind me, I'm holding the World Cup itself, the very one lifted in Kaza by Nunzio Gre those few short years ago. Let's take a look now at how this came in to Starblaydia's possession during the twenty-fifth World Cup."

From the studio the image cut to something Tiberius always loved to watch: a highlights package of a World Cup Campaign following Starblaydia's progress, with appropriate music and voiced by a charismatic celebrity. In this case, it was Armando Gomez, who's deep, baritone voice could carry both elation and sorrow in equal measures.



'Starblaydia's road to eventual glory was, as always, a long and troublesome one. Nikola Lazerevski's first challenge was to hold off the likes of Vilita, Tadjikistan and Lethislavania to make sure of qualification to the Cup, to be held in Kaze Progressa and Audioslavia. Though Starblaydia were in the first pot which containing the top seeds, they soon drew Tadjikistan, just three places below them in the World rankings, as well as former-Champions Vilita, ancient rivals of the men in white-and-purple, who won the World Cup when Starblaydia co-hosted with Druida some twenty years earlier.'

Scenes from the World Cup Qualifying Draw are shown, with World Cup Committee President Simeone Di Bradini and Starblaydia Manager Nikola Lazerevski smiling through gritted teeth at the prospects before them, the Tadjiks and the Vilitans.

'Certainly not the fabled 'Group Of Death' that pundits look for at every turn, Starblaydia's would be one of the harder Qualification routes from among the top seeds. Though it didn't look that way to begin with.'

Dejected men in teal, orange and navy kits look on as Starblaydia put three goals past them for a three-one Victory. The green of Lethislavania see another three past them, while on a cold night in Kudlastan it is the Number Ten, Raphaelo, who grabs victory.

'With the pair of Dwarves Garahildim and Tumunzahar both sent off against Da Philelfya Emipya, Starblaydia lost their hundred percent record. That, however, was merely time for Menecrates to come to the fore with a hat-trick against Kericia. Finally the Dwarves came back from suspension but even two goals from Zhorin Tumunzahar in two games couldn't win Starblaydia more than one point from six and they fell to Tadjikistan.'

A despairing Angelos Prokopsis claws at the air in a futile gesture as the ball sails past him, wrongfooted. The music becomes slow and pondorous, Starblaydia fade to black. Armando's voice speaks loud and clear, a stern rallying cry before heavy electric guitars accompany the scenes.

'Then it was time for the Viltans again.

Starblaydia exploded into the second half of qualifying with eighteen goals in six matches. Four-one against Vilita, in Vilita, four-one against Kudlastan, four-three against Lethislavania, two-one against the Empiya, two-nil against Kericia and two-one against Metfield. Tumunzahar with a hat-trick, Itechton Matranga with his thirteenth career goal for his country, Jaime Oberlander and Roberto Vega's first. Starblaydia were free and scoring until a nil-nil at Rordia finished the run.

All Starblaydia needed to do was beat Tadjikistan at the Jader Barbahlo and they qould take the first qualifying position. But it was not to be. The Tadjiks did the Qualifying double over Starblaydia, and the men in white-and-purple were left second in the Group they could, nay should, have won.'

Sani Luvo draws balls from a bowl and the first all-AO Group in a World Cup since anyone can remember is created.

'Starblaydia. Turori. Druida. Nova Britannicus. Three nations from around the mighty Bekk Lake, along with those from a small island just a stone's-throw to the west. All of Atlantian Oceania would be glued to Group G. And boy, was it tight. Starblaydia started with a bang, destroying their local rivals by four goals to one. FIFA was the staging ground, but this was an Atlantian Oceanian civil war. Turori came next and the honours were even, but it was left to Nova Britannicus to spoil Starblaydia's mood, beating them 2-1. But when the results came through, Starblaydia were through too, snatching second place in the Group.'

Scenes of complete jubilation on the pitch. Men in Navy embrace their newly-beaten friends, while the men in white celebrate their progression to the Knock-out stages. Somehow the two countries that share a single league had managed to send Starblaydia through.

'It was arguably the easiest of Second-Round matches ever, Starblaydia against the newly-qualified Casari. There are no easy games in international football, remember, and this proved that theory. It was the tightest of margins, a two-one win. The Quarter-Finals came and went. Bettia sunk by a single goal by Surachai Buathiang. Now Starblaydia were in uncharted territory, this was the last-four and, whatever happened now, Starblaydia would have two more matches to play. The first was a Semi-Final against Squornshelous and, somehow, Starblaydia emerged victorious. Zhorin Tumunzahar's forty-first goal and a winner from Giovanni Lopez gave Starblaydia their first ever final, and the winner would be from the Big-Two of Sarzonia and Rejistania.

Navy and white plays Orange and blue and, finally, it is the Orange-Blues who emerge victorious. Starblaydia's opponents are known: Rejistania.

'After the Civil War, Atlantian Oceania now took the battle to FIFA on its own soil. Four-Time World Champions Rejistania, in Kaza, Kaze Progressa. The Rejistanians had just beaten off the challenge from the most-recent AO winners of the Cup and now the young pretenders faced them. The team often given an outside chance, their two allies being a wing and a prayer. Surely this wouldn't be the upset three billion Starblaydis wanted.'

The muted line-ups for the national anthems fade to black, replaced with a single, gutteral sound of joy:

"Xxxxxkoooooraaaaaaaaaaaaaa....!!!!!!"

"Goal!" It's Sven Motsonsson's unmistakable voice. "Rejistania have scored! Garahildim, the right-back, was undone by the Orange-Blue passing and Lati fired it across the face of goal. Angelos Prokopsis was counting on his near post and the ball flew in past his desparing hands and into the back of the net. Rejistania one, Starblaydia nil..."

Garhildim looks so shameful that he might shave off his beard. Prokopsis picks the ball out of the net as captain Nunzio Gre tries to gee up his players.

"...what's the betting it'll be ten behind the ball for the next hour?"

'And that's exactly what it was. A succession of STarblaydia attacks were defended like the very soil of Rejistania was under assault. Again and again a tide of white shirts rushed over the Rejistanian defence but each time they were repelled. Starblaydia were throwing absolutely everything at the Rejistanians, including a notable substitution that brought on the man who had won the Semi-Final with a late goal, Giovanni Lopez.'

"Garcia. Down the line to Giovanni Lopez but he's smothered by Orange shirts. What a lovely piece of skill, though, he's come away with the ball, he's in the area, being closed down... lays it back to Menecrates..."

The image freeze-frames. A yard back from the penalty spot stands the foil of Starblaydia's attack throughout the entire game, Menecrates. His number-9 shirt caught by a gust of the breeze as he opens his body to shoot on his right foot. He's all alone, just him versus the goalkeeper. Eighty-One minutes have passed on the clock. Rejistania 1, Starblaydia 0.

"It's there!"

'With eight minutes to go, Menecrates finally scores Starblaydia's equaliser, a move which sends the game into Extra Time.'

"I think Menecrates is under that pile of players somewhere but Starblaydia have scored in the World Cup Final... What an incredible turn of events, Trefor!"

'Fifteen minutes of a tense first-half is played, but still the scoreboard shows us Rejistania 1, Starblaydia 1. With aching bodies, Starblaydia prepare for one last burst at the men in Orange-Blue. Just a quarter of an hour before the deadly prospect of facing Rejistania in a penalty-shootout.'

Starblaydi fans stand and sing their national anthem, arms raised, hands pleading to the sky. One last time, if ever they were going to inspire their team to a goal, this would be it.

'Nunzio Gre bleeds red for his country after a collision with Linux Raju. For a few short minutes Starblaydia are without their defensive talisman, but his return signals the death-knell for Rejistanian hopes.'

"Back on comes Nunzio Gre, his head bandaged up and listen to the cheer from the Starblaydi fans, they love him here..."

He marshalls the team, shouting and pointing.

"Menecrates, on the right. Nicked inside to Matranga, back out to Menecrates."

A lovely one-two by Starblaydia's two foremost playmakers of their respective generations. Menecrates is under pressure though.

"He's forced out wide by the defence, knocking it to Garcia."

With her pony tail flowing behind her like a silken banner as she runs, Starblaydia's first female player darts down the right-hand side with a deft touch of the outside of her right boot.

"Cherry Garcia, takes a touch towards the line and sprints away! She's left Lati for dead once again and whips in a cross..."

From just outside the right-hand-side of the penalty area, up against the line, Garcia puts in a trademark cross. A despairing foot from Lati doesnt reach it, neither does a centre-back, sticking his leg out to stop it. One man in white is headed to meet the ball, being manhandled by a Rejistanian. Seemingly in slow-motion he dives for the ball, head first.

"...that's met by the head of GIOVANNI LOPEZ!"

Motsonsson's voice turns into a patriotic scream a moment before he is nearly drowned out by the insane cheers of the Starblaydi fans in the stadium, never mind those watching at home.

"STARBLAYDIA HAVE SCORED! Lopez with a brilliant diving header from seven yards out! He's taken Starblaydia into the lead for the first time in the whole match! Nearly two hours of football and Starblaydia are Two-One up! Just look at these incredible scenes"

'Just six scant minutes remained, but Starblaydia held out, they were the Champions of the World.'

Jubilation that hadn't been seen for many a year erupts on the pitch. Cherry Garcia cries, Surachai Buathiang dances and the players and staff of Team Starblaydia invade the pitch. Finally we see Simeone Di Bradini, President of the world Cup, ready to hand the Cup itself to Starblaydia.

Nunzio Gre lifts the cup and an explosion of purple, white and black ticker tape nearly envelops the players. Starblaydia are on top of the world, a feeling shared by anyone watching this highlights package. Slowly the pictures fade into the gleaming Cup itself, sitting on a studio desk in Starblaydia.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/4sport.png

Archregimancy continues to argue over werewolf
Casaran Academics, Religious, tend to view as oppertunity

"We have an unprecidented oppertunity for learning. We could get ideas into what happens to people when they become werewolves and such. The fact remains that we cannot just give this man/creature a death sentence with no firsthand experience. Besides, are we even truly sure he is one in the first place?" Said several of the assembled staff of Theodore Univeristy, who for the first time today expressed their interest in performing an examination on behalf of the International Soccer Community to see exactly what the "Elrich Wolfman" is.

Their stance is supported by the Casaran Bishop Willham, who appeared a bit miffed over being blasted for not agreeing with another Bishop on the other side of the world. "Although the concern of the Orthodox Church on the matter of their Catholic counterparts is touching, Their arguments for killing this person without a second thought while in a similar position as me, without having any firsthand experience, seems somewhat hypocritical. And while I feel slightly insulted by some of the things said about the Catholic Church by our brothers in Christ, I will forgive, as we were taught to do.

On the matter of playing the members of the Elrich National team during a full moon, the team followed Casaran Tradition by going to extreme lengths to prove a point out of spite. "We would play." Ronalo said while at practice. "It would be kind of interesting to see what he could do, in fact." These sentiments were reflected among most of the team, one of the holdouts being Goalkeeper Salvidore Rooney. "Playing a team with a werewolf on it to make a point? This is stupid." Coach Hill was the capstone on the matter. "We'll play, we just need a date and a place. Although, it seems that William will be playing in goal instead of Rooney."

Training going well at Liberty training base for team
No injuries, team progessing

In more mundane news, the search for more friendlys continues as the players play top Casaran Sides and scrimmage against themselves.

"We're developing well. The offense is performing as well as it ever has, and the defense continues to be stellar." Coach Hill said at one of her daily press appearances.

"The Midfield, however, is failing to improve. This will probably be the core of our work during the rest of the run-up to the cup."

In Other News...

Milo the Cat sightings up
How the cat gets around noone knows

"Did you know" song voted most popular among fans
Followed closely by singing random notes

Cell Phones continue to fail to proliferate
"Hell, I don't want to talk to people when I'm home. I sure don't want them to be able to call me wherever I am."

OOC: Will you be playing FOUR-FOUR-*******-TWO? :P

OOC: Do you not read the roster thread? They have been for a good three cups.

:p is brought to you by the hosts of WCXXVI.

From the Palacetonia Football Association

This press release is to give an update to the squad lists.

After the Baptism of Fire tournament, it was agreed that Ros Angel will be dropped and replaced by Charles Marky due to her below par performances and a post BoF training ground row.

David Fraser has broken his leg leading to a six month layoff and will be replaced by Steve Trave.

Please note final statistics from the BoF tournament


Coach Iain Corder 52
G 1 Wes Tray 32 4
D 2 Clive Arty 24 1
D 3 Trev Park 26 2
D 4 Virgil Claus 26 3
D 5 Corrie Mears 24 (1)
M 6 Philip News 30 (1)
M 7 Wayne Owen 29 1
M 8 Johnathan Camry 26 1
S 9 Pip Wallis 29 4 2
S 10 Iain Williams 19 4 1
M 11 Ben Cleaves 23 4
G 12 Scott Antar 29
D 13 Matt Theat 25 (1)
D 14 Michael Camry 31
D 15 Alex Canady 27 3
D 16 Mark Kennedy 28 4
M 17 Simon Weeder 25 3
M 18 Ros Angel 27 1
M 19 Xander Giles 22 1 (1) 1
S 20 Ed Parker 24 (1) 1
S 21 David Fraser 25 1 (1)
M 22 Jim Berger 29 4

(the first set of numbers are squad numbers, the second set their age, the third set, number of competitive appearances, appearance as substitute in brackets, fourth set is number of competitive goals)

Regional Champions Looking to Shine on the World Stage



It doesn’t happen very often but at the moment Hypocrian football fans are loving life. Winning a trophy can have that effect and since that crazy night in Gabalfa when Marcus Baxter hit the extra time winner against Sarzonia in the final of the AOCAF everyone involved with the Hyppos has been riding the crest of a wave. With another World Cup just around the corner confidence is high that Dave Wilson’s side will finally make the step up from Cup of Harmony underachievers to World Cup finals underachievers.

This new sense of confidence is testimony to the good work being done by national coach Dave Wilson since his appointment four years ago. Amazingly there had been doubts raised over his appointment after the Hyppos were turned over 5 - 1 in Giant Zucchini early in the last campaign but those few doubters have long been silenced. A qualification points haul that would have guaranteed a World Cup place in a number of other groups, a highest ever finish in the Cup of Harmony and of course being crowned champions of the Atlantian Oceania region all followed to confirm that Sarzonia’s World Cup winning coach is a class act.

The fans were even happier when the HFA announced the opposition for the Hyppos’s World Cup preparation matches would be two of the nation’s favourite “other” teams. First up is a return trip to Bettia, the site of our AOCAF triumph. To be closely followed by a home fixture against the talented Sea Dragons of Andossa Se Mitrin Vega. The matches will provide an excellent opportunity for the coach to blood some new players as he seeks to replace some the older players in the squad.


Hyppos Impress in Warm-up Games

Akani Sands’ Shubunkin Park provided the backdrop for an entertaining local derby between the two neighbours. The yellow and green army gave the Aroras their usual vocal support but there was plenty of blue and white present to cheer on Hypocria’s finest.

Judson York once again showed why he’s the scourge of Hyper League defences when, twenty minutes in, he cut inside from the right and curled an unstoppable shot past the diving Ricardo Kindelan. Ashley Deucher headed in the equaliser from Bercali’s centre fifteen minutes later to send the teams in at the break with the scores level.

Thirty one minutes, and a number of substitutions, into the second half veteran striker Andrei Shirko showed he still has an excellent eye for goal with a sharply taken low drive from Baxter’s pass. That set up a rousing final few minutes and the Aroras surged forward in waves but just couldn’t find that final telling touch. The Hyppos hung on to record an impressive away win.

Final Score:

Bettia 1 - 2 Hypocria


The Hyppodrome was packed to the rafters for the first ever visit of Andossa Se Mitrin Vega and as many as ten thousand Sea Dragon fans had made the long journey south to get behind their side.

Despite being outnumbered seven to one it was the blue and yellow clad supporters from ASMV who were cheering loudest after Pablo Iglesias rounded off a flowing passing move with a delicate clipped finish over keeper Alex Derevko to put the Sea Dragons in front. A combination of missed chances and stout ASMV defending kept the Sea Dragon’s clean sheet intact until the fifty first minute when young striker Carlo Molinari latched onto Rytter’s through ball and slotted confidently past the keeper. Despite excellent chances at both ends neither side could find another breakthrough and the match ended with the sides deadlocked. Not that the fans minded too much.

Final Score:

Hypocria 1 - 1 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

***meSSage from dorEl***

"Who's Dorel?" asked the Wentland Home Secretary.

"One of our lads in Elrich, Minister," said civil servant David Moores.

***volf! VOLLLFFFF!!!***

"How much are we paying him?" asked the Minister.

"Too much, I think."

***bell////a///donn...AAA!!!***

"Hm, has he been taking it?"

***AWOOOOOO!!!!!!***

"I do not think we need to listen to any more," said the Home Secretary.

________________________

Somewhere in Akbaria, Edgar Bluff was concerned. He was preparing the Wentland squad for their World Cup debut. An easy 7-0 friendly win over Walled City demonstrated how far the Wents had improved. And the Baptism of Fire tournament showed that Wentland could at least win the odd match at global level.

But the World Cup itself was an entirely different kettle of fish. Indeed, almost a different fish of kettles, as Minister of Surrealism 15Kerdn14 would doubtless have put it. There were all sorts of rumours about whom Wentland would face, different philosophies, different opinions, different - just different.

And now there was a rumour that one of the countries was to play a werewolf. What on earth was that about? They do not exist, do they? Is it against FIFA regulations?

Edgar watched his team training, the national season over for the time being, brooding.

And somewhere unknown letrasetters were placing letters on small yellow strips of paper and sealing them in plastic marbles. The letters W, E, N, T, L, A, N and D went on one. E, L, R, I, C and H on another.

PRESS RELEASE

SYNODICAL OFFICE FOR THE EXTERMINATION OF OCCULT EVIL
(SOFTEE)

While conceding that most citizens of the Arcregimancy wouldn't know what to do with a lycanthrope if it bit them on their posterior, SOFTEE would like to assure the heretics in Casari that they have considerably more firsthand experience in dealing with the occult than your average Casaran Bishop - here, for the sake of argument defined as 'Bishop Willham'.

'Why, he even admits he doesn't have any firsthand experience!' said Fr. Simeon the Vampire Slayer, while sharpening a wooden stake sent to him from the Holy Empire by a mysterious layman known only as 'Giles'. 'Us lot, we're huntin' vampires, werewolves, an' minor demons on a daily basis, and then some schismatic comes 'round and says we ain't knowin' what we're doin'.

SOFTEE continues to support the Holy Synod in demanding that Elrich remove the wolfman from their squad, further noting that the previous news release from Elrich over the reaction within their own nation to the wolfman's appointment specifically mentioned the word 'werewolf'.

SOFTEE would furthermore like to take this opportunity to deny the persistent - yet utterly false - rumours that they have petitioned the Holy Synod to have Sarah Michelle Gellar named among the saints.

Stars hope to quiet summer of discontent

After one full campaign as the head coach of the Sarzonian senior national football team, Barry Owens sat with newly-minted assistant coach Brett Hancock to discuss the team's fortunes in World Cup XXV and AOCAF XI. The team had a mixed bag of results from the two tournaments, falling 2-0 to Squornshelous in the World Cup third place match after running into a Rejistania buzz saw yet again and losing in extra time against their former field boss, Dave Wilson, in the AOCAF finals.

Following the second choice national team's relative success in the regional tournament, the Incorporated Football Federation promoted Hancock, their field boss, to serve as the top assistant to Owens, while sending Cal Trottier, the longtime Under 21 coach, to coach the second choice team. IFF chairman Terry Mangione described the move as "gromming" Hancock.

"Brett showed he has a great future as a national team coach," Mangione said. "Cal has long demonstrated an ability to teach young players and he was invaluable to Barry in his first World Cup as the Stars coach." However, "Barry's now going to have to be the teacher."

"I'm ready to assume that role," Owens said. "I served as the Legalese coach once upon a time, but now I'm looking forward to putting my own stamp on this side."

Hancock, who just turned 40 years this Wednesday, may be young, but he gained the respect of his side when he mixed it up with Starblaydi goon Francisco Ibanez, drawing a red card and a one match suspension during AOCAF group play.

"He doesn't take any [crap] from anyone," forward Brian Wilson said of Hancock. "That much was clear from watching the tape of the match," a 2-2 draw between Sarzonia and Starblaydia.

"Brett Hancock will go to war with you," defender Ettore Salivani said. "He's fiery. That should come in handy if we look like we're going to sleepwalk through any matches."

For their part, the Stars team that will take to the pitch for World Cup XXVI is largely the same team that advanced to the World Cup semifinals for the fourth straight World Cup. The team said goodbye to defender and former team captain Trevor Crenshaw, who retired after the 2-0 loss to Squornshelous. But goalkeeper Horace Sandt returns and has been given the captain's armband.

"Hor has been the vanguard of this team since World Cup XXI," Brian Wilson said. "[His getting the armband] is sort of a validation of his career to this point."

"Six-nil, Pat? Come on, I could do better than that." The woman standing over Pat's shoulder giggled.

Bedistan Lions midfielder Pat Romano was unwinding after a long day of training by parking himself in front of the video game console and playing his newly-bought copy of the new World Cup 26 game from NMSoft. Fellow midfielder Tara Stalls was smirking as she looked at the screen, proudly displaying the results of the match Romano had just played: Bedistan 0-6 Sarzonia. "For heaven's sake, I got red carded?" she asked incredulously. It was a well-known fact that she was the least likely player on the team for that to happen to, in reality at least.

"What, you wanna try to beat the Sarzos?" Romano's thick Hamptonian accent gave his statement an air of dismissiveness.

Stalls sighed and spoke to Romano in a mock scolding voice. "You know, you've really gotta keep your reflexes in top shape to be an effective midfielder..."

"Oh yeah, sure, like I can really use my hands during a real game."

"You're just afraid I'll kick your butt."

"Oh-ho-ho, gettin' a little uppity there, aren't we, miss? Grab that controller over there and we'll see who's boss."

Hiiraan Flares Tempers, Prepares for WC
By Mohamud Ahmed Jamaa

Hiiraanese players Mustafa Farah and Warsame Mohamed today called on the hosts, Oliverry to face up and accept a friendly challange set up by Hiiraan;s Coach Mohamed Luure. The Coach of Hiiraan's senior side did not seem any less enthustiastic. "We put out a formal challange and we accept an answer from Oliverry soon, but we should be honest with them as Hiiraan's arrival in Oliverry for pre-WC visit will be soon and we want a game before we leave to go to Commerce Heights" said the coach in a press release given to reporters late this afternoon.


Warsame mohamed, one of Mogadishu United's top defenders and the national team fastest and most determined young stars said "he was up to the challange" and "expected a good match up if it ever happened" on his side, Hiiraan's other young stars and Bosaso FC's top players, Mustafa Farah along side his friend Warsame Mohamed said "He was knew how good the team in Oliverry was and he knew how challanging and buildup it would be for Hiiraan, even if we lost" however the two players gave no chance in the depature pree conference for the team as they were heading to oliverry for a pre WC visit.

Meanwhile, the team has staked out a good pitch in Hiiraan's upper northside for the qualyfyinh training ground. "The ground is a standard professional pitch for training with all the things we need" said the coach when the announcement came from his office. "the government has subsidized the land for us, but we will pay our fare share of money" he told reporters. the pitch has full medical and professional support, the players also have several items and other materials on the pitch to help around the pitch, from water coolers to resting areas.

(OOC: Okay, Internet Explorer is doing some weird things right now, and as a result Anathematic Republics cannot post. This IC post is the Anathematic Republics talking. The NMS wishes to deny any connections with Satan, lycanthropy, or Cher. Thank you.)

Satan sat in his comfortable chair, examining the latest press reports from the Archregimancy and Casari.

He turned to Phillippi. "How's progress on the Ragin' Pagans coming along?"

"Coach Filon is filling out his roster through tryouts as we speak. He claims to have his defense and keepers pretty much iced, but the forwards and midfielders will take a bit."

"Do we have any werewolves on the team?"

"I'm not sure I follow you, sir."

"WEREWOLVES, you twit. Men, corrupted by dark power, turn into wolves at the full moon, attack people, kill, maim, corrupt, and so forth. THOSE werewolves."

"Umm, not that I'm aware of, sir, Coach Filon..."

"Go find some and ask Coach to give them a tryout. Tell him it might be a good idea in the present situation."

"Yes, sir! Of course, sir! You got it, si-"

"SHUT YOUR BLOODY MOUTH AND GO GET THEM!"

The minion bolted from the room. Werewolves would be added. Satan picked up the paper.

'Us lot, we're huntin' vampires, werewolves, an' minor demons on a daily basis, and then some schismatic comes 'round and says we ain't knowin' what we're doin'.

He put it right back down and picked up the phone.

"Morseley, Demon Dispatch, how may I help you?"

"This is Satan. Send three one-size-bigger-than-minor demons to the premises currently occupied by Fr. Simeon the Vampire Slayer."

"Any in particular?"

"Whatever's handy."

"Yes, your Unwholesome Maximum Evilness, sir."

"Cheeky bastard."

"Absolutely, sir."

"Would you like me to make your existance much worse?"

"I'm already answering telephones in Hell, sir." And with that he disconnected the line. Random disconnections were a hallmark of the Infernal telephone experience, but they weren't supposed to happen to the big man in charge.

Satan picked the phone back up.

"Morseley, Demon Dispatch-"

"Go soak your head."

"Yes, sir." There were brief sloshing sounds coming from over the line, then the sound of Cher blasting at maximum volume as Satan got put on hold.

"Blasted minions." And with that, Satan hung up the phone and resumed reading his paper.

Bazalope Fans Spited by NMSoft by Nev Gould

With the performance of the Bazalopes in the Baptism of fire tournament many soccer fans have been buying up copies of NMSoft's WC 26 Soccer game for their computers and gaming consoles. Mark Crusz, CEO of Games'n'Things, Bazalonia's leading games retailer has said, "As soon as NMSoft's title [World Cup 26] hits the shelves rabid Bazalope fans snatch up theor copy and head home." Unfortunately he goes on t6o say the following.. "Soon after, however many of them try to return the game. Not because of any technical problem or bug. But simply the Bazalonian team is not incliuded. Of course we don't givve refunds for these." When Approached with this news the coaching team was irrate... "What do you mean the Bazalopes aren't in the World cup game? Why have a world cup game if you can't play all of the nations in the world cup? " said Caine Hawdon... he had some more to say about it as well but we'll leave that for now. The BFSA president, James Gaines had this to this about the game and the coaches response.
"We can't expect NMSoft to include all nations, particularily those just starting in the World Cup, like Bazalonia. We will have discussions with the coaching team about a number of issues regarding toning down their ... 'National Spirit' We do not want to allienate other nations."

NMSoft has declined to comment on the lack of the Bazalopes in the World Cup 26 video game.

Bishop Replies to interesting blast by obscure Orthodox group
Interesting accent leaves most people wondering what is actually beign said

"Clearly I have oversteped by bounds by doubting these... obviously experienced killers. I mean, they're so well trained to kill vampires, Werewolves, and other minor demons that they haven't had the time to complete their education in language. But we are quite relieved that such experienced individuals are around to kill those deemed to be evil." Bishop Willham said in his continuing minor debate over the nomination of a Werewolf to the Elrichian national team.

When a random person on the street was asked to reply to the recent comments, they replied, "... Who cares? It's not in our country." Another passerby said, "Aren't the Silver Bullets thing a myth anyway?"

But by far, the most useful comment came from William Harms, who was on his way home from work.

"Don't these people have something better to do? You know, like Church or something?"

BAZALOPE EXCLUSION BAFFLES NMSOFT

Exclusion of new nation rapidly remedied

NEW MONTREAL - NMSoft has issued an apology in light of the apparent exclusion of the Bazalonia Bazalopes from their World Cup 26 game.

"We're really, really sorry," said Paul Desjardins, spokesman. "We're trying to fix it right now."

According to Desjardins, the graphics, statistics and programming for the Bazalopes were included, but the team itself failed to compile. Compounding the problem is that the people in charge of fixing this have been awarded two weeks time after the launch, and were "mostly out of town," said Desjardins. "They deserve it, even with this mistake. I mean, 106 out of 107 nations isn't bad."

A patch will be "made available over the next couple days. We've figured out most of what was missing, now we just need to add and test it." In addition to that, Bazalonian customers will receive a free copy of the "extinct nations plugin" currently for sale off the NMSoft site. This plug features such nations as The Belmore Family, Evisceratomatoes and Nikea, as well as a half-dozen other former participants. The patch retails for 5 ounces of marijuana, or about 9.50 USD. "It's not much, but we hope it will help some Bazalope fans feel better about the slight," said Desjardins.

Bazalopes Implode by Nev Gould

After a nail-biting win in a penalty shootout in their first knockout match the Bazalopes have imploded. After shocking defense allowing 2 goals through in the first 30 minutes the Bazalonian soccer team had turned on itself with every player involved in an onfield brawl. However this brawl is unique as none of the Qutari team, their opponents where not involved ity was Bazalopes against Bazalopes. As a result the team was disqualified and their hopes of a clean sweep of the Baptism of Fire. The coaching team had this to say about the incident "We don't know what happened, I think just the disappointedment of their performance caused them to do strange things." said Cain Hawdon. James Gaines, head of the BFSA had this to say. "I don't know why Caine has his head in the clouds but the situation is simply a result of 2 things... Over-confidence of the coaching team... He should have taken the advice of the Cuation management.. Oh.. and the second thing... The old league rifts are still strong if we are to be real contenders on the international stage then we need to be one team.... not three with a similiar goal. We the BFSA are putting you coaches on notice shape up or ship out."
This is the BFSA's warning to the coaching team. It is their responsibility for dealing with player rifts as such was embarrisingly displayed today. Hopefully this will be the end of such incidents.

-------------------

The Bazalopes back in the Game by Nev Gould

After revelations of the Bazalopes not being included at the release of NMSoft's World Cup 26. NMSoft has announced that a patch enabling the Bazalopes will be released soon and all Bazalonians that have purchased the Bazalope-less game will also gain the 'extinct nations' plugin for it. After talking to a number of fans after todays woeful performance and incident. "Yeah.. Um.. thanks... " said one person on the street Another person said... "I'm not really sure if I want to play the Bazalopes now." A young fan said "cool... Can we get into fights?". Unfortunately such questions can only be answered by NMSoft. but eye for one thank NMSoft for dealing with the problem in a professional and quick manner.

WARRIORS STARS WED IN PRIVATE CEREMONY

Yes, you're reading correctly. Praying2God Warriors stars Thomas Larson and Sarah Walker were wed in a private ceremony sometime since the Warriors finished 3rd in CoH XVII. The couple had long been the talk of the Praying2God tabloids, but there had never been a confirmation that the two of them were more than just friends...until now. Everybody around the couple is keeping extremely tight-lipped about the couple, so wedding details and such are unknown. They have said that neither of them plan to retire in the near future, like so many of their former married teammates have done, but they will likely start a family sometime between WC XXVI and WC XXVII. Needless to say, we will attempt to dig up more details on this stunning development, and will report them when we get them.

***WENTLAND FA LAUNCH FORMAL PROTEST***

No sooner had the Wentland team returned home from the Baptism of Fire contest came news that Beleminares had been expelled from the tournament on the basis that they did not exist. Notwithstanding that a blank space had comprehensively beaten a bunch of other teams, it was those other teams that were advanced in the tournament.

"We are disgusted," said FA head Sir Frederick Head. "There is nowhere in the by-laws that states that you put the next team along through. We were given no opportunity to state our case for going through to the next round."

"And that case would be?" said faux journalist Ian Head, under a pseudonym of John Heal.

"Well, we had the best record of any non-qualifying team. We were the 17th best team in the tournament. Remove Beleminares and we were 16th best. Yet we were not allowed into the eighth finals.

"The real concern is we were not allowed to make a pitch. The possible ramifications are enormous. Nations could invade other nations in their qualifying groups. Unfortunately this means a ramping up in defence spending."

Perhaps fortunately for the world Sir Frederick Head is widely believed to be suffering the advanced stages of dementia and has a tendency to grow handlebar moustaches. But there are many Wents who consider he had a point.

The draw is awaited with anticipation, especially by James St John, whose wife is called Anticipation.

GRAHAM CITY SUN
Infusion of Young Blood Sparking Hopes of Resurgent Stars

LONDON, ENGLAND - At ASFA headquarters, the morale is high, and the employees excited. Why you ask? Because of the announcement of the World Cup 26 roster. "Quite simply, this team is exciting to watch, with great control of the midfield and ballhandling skill," said ASFA head George Gardner. Clanners haven't had much to cheer for in the last few years, despite the resurgence of the Stars at the end of the last World Cup, who went on a six game winning streak after placing then captain Westley Stjepan in charge of managing the team.

This time around, he'll be able to focus solely on managing the team, and has already begun a series of team bonding exercises focusing on bring the group together as a strong whole. "When I was captain, I felt that management wasn't doing enough to make us a team. This I want to fix." Already, he is winning support of the new members of the team. Ryley Bloudin, a native Portugese and youngest man on the national team, said that on many of his pro teams he felt unwelcome because of his age. "But now, I feel like I've really bonded to this team."

Newly minted captain and starter Iason Spyridon said that he had seen a marked improvement from last cup's team. "We've been flowing much better then last year. We've been playing much smoother football, and I think the new formation and teamwork drills and sessions have really been helping." Fans though, are a little skeptical, and not without reason. After missing one cup, the Stars went from the top twenty ranked teams in the world to fourtieth, and after a miserable qualifying return, they were unable to secure a spot for the second round in the Cup of Harmony.

The next cup, the silver jubilee, was no better for the Stars, resulting in the same finish. In the hugely popular NMS import WC26 Football, the Allied States have repeatedly failed to qualify for the World Cup, often missing by 2 or 3 points. "Personally," said one fan, "I don't think this squad will be much different. We consistently fail to perform against teams we should beat, and then beat teams we shouldn't, and there are more of the former."

The office here in Graham City ran a few simulations with the new lineup, and we're impressed by the Stars performance. "We managed to qualify 4 out of 10 times, and 3 of those non-qualified times we managed to win or place second in the Cup of Harmony," said staff reporter Jamie McCarran. EIC Jeff Jonson noted the powerful performance of Iason Spyridon and Jerry Carrol, saying, "Despite some of the team's sub-par play, Iason and Jerry managed to impress even against Sarzonia and Bedistan, across multiple simulations."

With the holiday season over the nation of PopularFreedom now looked forward to the upcoming sports year. First up was soccer with both a tournament in the Heartland region, plus the World Cup 26 to take place. Locke Harbour was to represent the nation at this year's World Cup. Surprisingly they had done well at the recent Heartland regional olympics, winning a silver medal, so it was hoped they might do the nation proud after their recent dismal showings at World Cup 24 and 25.

St. Mark’s Herald - Sports

Countdown to the World Cup

With the league and cup season all but decided - the one game left is the Lion’s Head National Cup Final, to be played between King’s Lane United and Lancaster City (interestingly, this is the first time in over fifty years that an LHN Cup final is contested between any United and City) - the footballing community looks forward to World Cup 26. As it’s the first time McPsychoville has participated in an international event of this magnitude, anticipation and tension is running high.
That said, the McPsychoville Machines camp has remained remarkably quiet about the players chosen to take part. Manager Christian Delaney has said that he will be announcing his squad soon. However, we can assume straight away that the team will continue the Machines’ trend of fast-paced attacking football (in other words, the Machines will be playing a +1 formation)


Controversial decisions as Delaney announces his squad for the finals

Christian Delaney yesterday sparked off a heated argument when he revealed that one of the players flying to the World Cup in WHEREVER was to be Eric Sullivan. Sullivan will need no introduction to football fans; in 2002, Sullivan was with Lancaster City, playing against Rock Island FC, when he was caught by a harsh tackle from a Rock Island defender. The defender apologised, but when he made to help Sullivan to his feet, Sullivan kicked him in the face. The studs on his boot came within an inch of blinding the defender forever, and even then he was still knocked unconscious. Sullivan was banned from playing for four months as a result, and was also fired by Lancaster.

However, since then Sullivan has made a number of public apologies for his actions - which even he describes as ‘nothing short of vile’ - and there is a growing number of people who are calling for the MFA to end his ‘exile’, of sorts, from the McPsychovillian league


McPsychoville Machines
Founded: 1809
Manager: Christian Delaney
Captain: Bill Morrison
Vice-Captain: Basil McCabe
Best World Cup Showing: This will be the first World Cup entered by the Machines
Kit: Dark blue and grey striped shirts, dark blue shorts, dark blue socks
Away Kit: Red shirts, white shorts, red and white striped socks.


My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers Y
Godmod Scoring Events Y (just make it credible on both sides)
RP injuries to my players Y
Godmod injuries to my players Y
Hand out Yellow cards to my players Y
Hand out Red cards to my players Y
Godmod Other Events N

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b274/John_Spinks/Elrichlogopaint.jpg

BASSETT ON THE EDGE OVER WOLFMAN INCLUSION
FA "Your choice, your responsibility"

The debate over national football manager Mike Bassett's controversial inclusion of the Wolfman in his World Cup 26 squad has now reached an international stage. After the initial news was greeted with a "mixed" reaction from the Elrichian citizens, the international reaction to the news has been astounding. Although there have been some nations supporting Mike Bassett's decision, the overall impression of the reaction is one of anger and horror. Confusion reigns as it appears few nations know the actual personalities of the Elrichian werewolf, with mixed stories being passed around. Some nations have even called for the Wolfman's death!

Bill Murray, Chief Executive of the Elrichian FA released this statement today in an attempt to clear up international confusion,

"In response to the International reaction to the Wolfman's inclusion in Mike Bassett's World Cup squad the Elrichian FA, and nation as a whole, would like to release this information in an attempt to clear up some confusions.

Firstly, we would like to firmly flatten rumours that the Wolfman is the contestant-chasing, sign-eating, muscle-flexing, Hang-Tough Specialist from the popular TV Show "Gladiators". That is simply not the case. The Wolfman is an Elrichian Werewolf. The Elrichian Werewolves are a small ethnic minority in our kingdom, who, although renowned for their hairy exterior and pointed features, share the same rights and laws as ordinary Elrichian citizens. They are in no way shape or form "human-eaters" and the infection of non-werewolf persons has been strictly forbidden in Elrichian Law for centuries. The Elrichian Werewolves do become more wolf-like with the full-moon, although remained closely monitered by the Elrichian Police at this time. The majority of Werewolves speak some form of the Elrichian Tongue, and can be likenened in their usual state to the appearance of the internationally famous "Wolverine" from the X-Men films. We do acknowledge that acceptance of the Werewolf community from some members of our society is far from complete, as the comments from Archbishop Brian reflected.

In conclusion, the fact that a werewolf included in Mike Bassett's squad is of irrelevance to the FA committee. However, the fact that the Wolfman included in Mike Bassett's squad happens to be a most notorious and aggressive Werewolf, suspected of Human attacks was more than slightly worrying. After an emergency meeting we have decided that because the Wolfman was ionly question and not charged with any law infringement, he will be allowed to represent Elrich in the Wolrd Cup Qualification stages. However this is only under the condition that manager Mike Bassett takes full responsibility for his choice, and will be held accountable for any problems which may arise from his inclusion."


SURELY THE END FOR BASSETT?
BASSETT STANDS BY WOLFMAN DECISION

Remarkably, Mike Bassett has placed his job on the line by sticky to his decision to include the notoriously aggressive "Wolfman" in his World Cup Qualifying Squad. After the National FA released a statement earlier today, basically telling Bassett that if (when) problems arise as a result of the Wolfman, Bassett will lose his job. The Elrichian Manager was firmly expected to immediately remove the ferocious central defender from his squad but has instead surprisingly stuck by his decision to include the Wolfman. Bassett's decision to include the "player" who in the last year has been twice questioned over a brutal attack and illegal infection in Elrich City last year is nothing short of controversial, and his decision to cast his job on the line in the hope that the most aggressive footballer in Elrichian History will do nothing wrong seems nothing short of madness. Bassett had this to say in this afternoons press conference,

"I stick by him. I made the choice and I'll support it. I still believe that the Wolfman, or "Wolfy" as he's known to the players, is this nations best hope of qualification to the World Cup. We needed to replace Vinnie Jones with an equally formidable defender and I think I've done that. No pressure from the FA or international community is going to make me change my mind. My job is to take Elrich to the World Cup Finals. If I don't do that then I was wrong and I shall offer my resignation."

When questioned by reporters over the Wolfman's choice of 666 for his National squad number Mike Bassett responded resolutely,

"No, Wolfy is not sadistic! Certainly no more than Vinnie Jones! 666 is his lucky number, nothing more! Would you ask Alan Shearer to hand over his number 9 shirt? I think not!"


Elrich stands by Manager Bassett

The legendary striker had the following opinion on the Wolfman's inclusion

"Mike Bassett is a fantastic football manager. He has been brave to make this decision, and I admire him for that. Having played against the Wolfman before I know he will certainly make a big difference to our team, although hopefully his aggressive streak can be controlled. I, along with the rest of the squad, remain thoroughly behind Mike Bassett."

On receiving a personal letter from The Holy Synod of the Archregimancy, Elrich had this to say,

"I was honoured to receive communication from the Holy Synod and respect his views. However I have responded informing him that, as player, I abstain from any Team Selection issues as this is not my job. Likewise all political correspondance should in future be sent not to me, but to the democratically elected Prime Minister Mr Duncan Doughnuts (whom I have forwarded the letter to). Yes, I am King, but the real rulers are the people, and the ones chosen from them to lead."

With the Wolfman around will Bassett survive the week? And if he does will he keep his job?

Please send in your views

OOC - Oh and yes Bassett will be continuing with Four Four F**** Two, as he has done in our previous competitions.

The Government is of course is limited to national laws and a certain Freedom of Information law from the pre-Karelan time made it possible for the Lawyers to request certain files about financial transactions during the karelan era. Of course the rejistanians read about the plans to sue the nation of Rejistania. So when Ford'he's lawyers requested the information, they did two things: first: inform that the information will be provided as late as legally possible officially to translate the requested information, second: prepared a thick folder full of text and tables in English. The folder was made of a thick plastic. Every cover was half a centimeter thick and the folder itself was locked (of course the key was sent in a second letter). The thick material of the cover had not only the reason to secure the data against manipulation, even though that was officially stated: The cover of the folder had a tiny, slowly working va'karela in it as well as enough batteries to power it long enough to karelize the persons reading it highly, provided they spend hours and hours reading it.

Michael Ford is at his solicitors, Marshall & Law, talking over the case he has filed against the nation of Rejistania.

"So... what can we do them on?"

"Well... Resolution #53 Freedom of Choice."

"Meaning..."

"These va'karela that they use control people's minds into thinking that defence is beautiful, even though it quite clearly isn't."

"Great! So let's get onto them!"

"Now hang on, you can't rush into these things like that!"

"Well, whyever not?"

"Well, first things first. Schiavonia isn't actually a UN member state. The resolution states that it is relevant to a populace."

"And?"

"Well, that kind of means that if the Schiavone team were Rejistanian, it would be OK. But they aren't."

"But can't we get someone who is in the UN to be on our side?"

"They would have to put the case forward themselves. Now we have contacted a few people, and the government of Fmjphoenix said they would help if they could, but when we told them the complexities of the whole thing, they backed down."

"Complexities?"

"Well, for starters, Rejistania is the home of defence. Therefore the defence lawyers there are among the best in the world. Even more get their education there."

"Oh."

"So there wouldn't be much chance on that front. Then there's the actual workings of the va'karela. They don't actually take over the mind, just subliminally alter the way it thinks temporarily."

"But that's what mind control is!"

"I'm afraid that mind control is slightly different. Any lawyer worth his salt would pick up on that."

"Are you trying to defend them?"

"What?"

"The way you're going on. Are you... on the Rejistanian's side?"

"Oh, don't be so ludicrous. I mean, you're paying us, not them. We're just advising you best we can. And our advice is that you drop the lawsuit."

"WHAT?"

"Drop the lawsuit. You'd rather make a slight fool of yourself backing down now as you're looking at the evidence than afterwards, when you've gone in with a load of useless evidence that doesn't hold up and been absolutely humiliated. Wouldn't you?"

"I... suppose..."

"Right. Well we'll write back to them to tell them that they've no case to answer and that it has all been a grave misunderstanding, OK?"

"Yes. I suppose it's for the best."

Ford stood up and shook the hands of Marshall, then the silent Law. "Well, thanks for your help. The cheque will be in the post in the morning."

And with that, he left.

Kabaofo Alanila was rather inebriated. The qualifying draw for World Cup 26 was just four hours away, and he'd been out on the town with a few of his Audioslavian team-mates. Partly to welcome the new World Cup run, but mainly because, well, week-long training sessions for the national team could take it out of a man, especially after a gruelling season in the Stellar division. A week away from Vilita had also made Mr. Alanila rather homesick. He was, after all, born and raised in Vilita to what appeared to be Vilitan parents. His mother, however, was of Audioslavian descent, and it was this blood-line which helped him originally, and rather controversially, break into Audioslavia's national squad.

The hoo-har surrounding Alanila's inclusion into Audioslavia's national team had died down considerably, especially after Helmut Vilkaous' dismissal halved the Vilitan contingent in the side. However, many Audioslavians still harboured ill-feelings for the talented 'Viltiaslavian'. Some were conspicuous of Kabaofo's reluctance to sign for any Audioslavian clubs despite interest from a few of the country's top teams. The fact that he still wasn't able to conduct an interview in anything other than his native Vilitan was also a sign, according to his detractors, that Kabaofo really wasn't taking his new found nationality seriously. It was as if the midfielder saw his place in the Audioslavian team as simply a job, and as if he was only playing for Audioslavia because he didn't break into the Vilitan national side early enough. A few others believed that Alanila simply wasn't good enough, and only served to keep younger players from coming up into the first team, like Jari Saikkonen and Robbie MacConacher.

All of the above had bothered Kabaofo, but it wasn't bothering him right now. All that he cared about was where his next piss was coming from; or more accurately, going to. Alcohol does that to you.

He trotted up the driveway of Didi Mussorgsky's house. This was a rather easy thing to do, as Mussorgsky's house was - dissappointingly for the pretentious fucks of the world - not on a cold mountain. Didi was one of Kabaofo's better friends. He was more or less in the same boat, with his foreign sounding name (a trait perculiar to Machinegradians) and the fact that he played his football abroad for Iskara Daii of Starblaydia. He also spoke Vilitan, which helped. Didi had invited him round to knock down a few beers and watch the qualifying draw. Kabaofo knocked on the door and did the twenty-nine year old version of the potty dance. No answer. Apart from a dull crack of someone stepping on something, and the resulting cry of 'aarghyabastid'. A few seconds later, Didi opened the door.
"Hey...... heya fellur... sorry, i started without you". Didi showed him his half-empty bottle of lager, and pointed to the dozen others surrounding the television.
"Ah, who's playing?" Kabaofo asked. Didi didn't answer, instead choosing to mark out the path to the sofa amongst the junk. "Who's playing?" Kabaofo repeated.
"Ugh... playing what?"
"On the telly you stupid fuck, the football"
"Ah, ah harrr" Didi chuckled and sat down on the sofa beside Kabaofo. "Thats not TV mate, its World Cup 26: The Computer game. Fancy a game?"
"Ah, i don't really play computer games"
"Agh come on its easy, the kilogram button is to shoot, the ounce button is to pass, the miligram button does a long ball an the pound button does a through ball"
"Whats with the weird button names?"
"Its a Sony Weighstation"
"Ah"

possibly to be continued

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New information clarifies who/what the Elrich Wolfman is
Placement of responsibility leaves many who protested to go on with their own lives

The revelation of details about the Wolfman out of Elrich have put the qualms of those few in Casari who complained about the Wolfman's position to rest. While majority sentiment skewed towards the positions of "I don't care" and "Whatever it takes to win", a growing minority of people afraid of the Wolfman had their fears put to rest.

"There are all sorts of people around to protect us, from Police to Army Commandos to members of obscure religious sects."

BSFA - Press Release

Injury update on the Bazalopes

The injuries sustained during the incident in the Bazalopes Knock-out match with the Islands of Qutar in the Baptism of Fire Tournament are as follows...

No injuries

Irchov Michael
Victor Boney
David McMahon
Shane Smith
Kevin Balsom
Paul Kanga
Michael Clarks

Minor injuries...

Peter Hobble - Broken nose, black eye, general bruising
James Kantwell - Strained Calf muscle, general brusing
Colin Neil - broken nose, general brusing
Victor Boney- Black eyes, general bruising
Keith Gilmore - general gruising
Benjamin 'Benny Boy' Peters - general brusing
Fjord Perts (Arthur Bindley's replacement) - black eye, dislocated shoulder
Steve Conne - black eye, Broken nose
Malcolm Halliwell - Information on injuries withheld due to request
Hayden Peterson - Calf and groin injuries
Jeffery Constantine - Hand injuries

Major Injuries - Details withheld due to privacy of the players

Anthony Creek
Andrew Creek
Lucas Reaver
Shane Smith

The Minor injured players will be fine for the first qualifying match of the World Cup but it is still too early to tell if the Creek brothers, Lucas Reaver or Shane Smith will be fit to play in the World Cup. An announcement will be made closer to the world cup.

Friendly: Liverpool England 2 Gaian Ascendancy 0

A select of 35 players were called up to the national squad for the pre-WC26 friendly tournament. Of this 35 only 23 will make the final squad. Nicholas Thompson has already shown some good form, despite scoring an own goal in the first leg against the under-21s.

Thompson scored both goals in the friendly against Gaian Ascendancy yesterday; the 2.01 metre-tall defender managing to net twice by heading the ball home from corners. According to manager Sir Douglas Freech, Thompson will definitely be part of the 23-man squad for the qualifiers for WC26.

-> Liverpool England 5-1 Liverpool England under 21s, Jan 7, 2140; first leg
-> Liverpool England under 21s 1-1 Liverpool England, Jan 10, 2140; second leg (Liverpool England win 6-2 on aggregate)
-> Gaian Ascendancy 0-2 Liverpool England, Jan 14, 2140
-> Oliverry, Jan 18, 2140
-> Liverpool England v Liverpool England league select, Jan 22, 2140; first leg
-> LE league select v Liverpool England, Jan 25, 2140; second leg.
-> Commerce Heights, Feb 1, 2140[/QUOTE]

Qutar Sports News Network

The Islands of Qutar have gone football crazy after their triumph in the Baptism of Fire, and many young kids have been signing up to youth programmes all around the country, the QFA called a press conference to discuss the future of the sport and the upcoming World Cup 26 Qualifiers.

On the question of the upcoming World Cup 26 Qualifiers Paul Dove had this to say;

"We're feeling confident going into the World Cup Qualifiers on the back of our win of the Baptism of Fire Tournament, but we also know that the World Cup Qualifiers are a different ball game in many respects, but if we play the football we've played so far, I think we have a good shot. All the players are in high spirts and Thomas is recovering well from his injury."

And on the question of the future of football in The Islands of Qutar the President of the QFA had this to say;

"It is very exiciting to see interest in the game go up so much, football was always a big part of life in The Islands of Qutar, but during the period of the coup, the game lost some of the sparkle, I mean will millitary posted all over the stadium it was quite hard to enjoy a game, but now football is back, and its here to stay"

OOC:: What year did the Baptism of Fire take place, 2087??

OOC:: What year did the Baptism of Fire take place, 2087??

OOC: There is no standerdized years. The years that are on the WC 26 to celebrate the 100th anniversary are Bedistani years. You can choose when the BoF took place.

IC:

Alexandria Times-Tribune-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Journal-Enquirer

Sports Section

Co-Coaches?!

To the suprise and shock of all involved the Milchama Football Association today named two coaches to coach the Milchama Warriors in WC 26. The coaches were Patrice Thibault, the former Milchamian U21 coach, and Jaime Smith, the coach who led The Weegies to a birth in WC 23. According to MFA President Calvin Chintermantomantoman the two coaches were a, "Temporary thing. We could not decide who was the better coach for Milchama so these two are going to coach this cup and if either of them have a drastically better record then we will have them coach Milchama in WC 27."

The roster for Milchama will be decided tommorow according to both Thibault and Smith. The roster had been delayed so that Milchama could find a new coach. Many people expect this roster to be laden with many former or current U21 players, much like Fairbanks first World Cup team with at least 5 or 6 old U21 players. Expectation for this Milchama has now risen significantly.

thsd:NEWS

Puck The Footy

With the Cherry Cup being held in Krytenia, the World Cup could be taking a back seat amongst fans with a feast of ice hockey in the nation. But the original Aces will be trying their best, with two matches against the Tadjiks before the real fun starts.

[OOC: CH/Oli, can one of you scorinate these matches on Tue and Thur and send to me and Tadjik? Thanx.]

Mashoda returns to sidelines

After suffering a heart attack, 71 year old coach Avid Mashoda has returned to the sidelines just two weeks after being rushed to hospital in Rejistania. Assistant coach Roger Taylor was running the team's training sessions until Mashoda's return against doctor's orders.

"My team needs me on the sidelines," Mashoda said. "We don't really have anyone else to help Roger so I have to be there to help this team."

The Majeristani Football Association would not confirm reports that they have contacted Sarzonian national team assistant Cal Trottier to serve as interim coach for the first year of the World Cup qualifying efforts. However, a source close to the Incorporated Football Federation said Trottier was contacted.

"Cal's currently in Woodstock training the second choice side for the AOCAF competition, so getting a chance to coach a full on national side in the World Cup would be a great opportunity for him," the source said. "The state of Sarzonian-Majeristani relations may not be great, but getting the chance to coach a senior national team is hard to ignore."

"Mashoda needs to spend time at home recuperating from his heart attack," a spokesman for the Rejistanian doctors said. "I am fearful for what may happen to him if he hasn't had a chance to fully recover."

The team said they're focusing on one thing: The World Cup.

"We're in it to win it," one player said.

FAF cuts deal with Ediraf for new World Cup kits

Earlier today, FAF chairperson Kyren Schwen agreed to terms with the Starblaydian creators Ediraf to produce the Fmjphoenix Vikings new kits for World Cup 26 and to continue to provide kits until at least World Cup 29. Although Mrs. Schwen did not go into details, she said that they are going to be quite unique.

"It has been a long time since the Vikings have had a new look, and so we thought it would be nice to go to a look not seen by other teams. We will unveil the new kits later, but I will tell you that it is something that you have not yet seen before." Kyren said during a minor press release.

It is expected that the new kits will be unleashed within the week.

Qutar Sports Media

According to our sources within the Qutar Football Association, they are confused over when they will know the draw for the World Cup Qualifiers, leading to calls for the QFA to be revamped.

We tried to interview the QFA President, but all he had to say was;

"Get out of my way, the organisers of the game will inform us of the draw when it is made"


Qutar Sports Media rated the 38th Sports Media Outlet in Qutar

The Schiavone Scribe
KIT DEAL ANNOUNCED

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y2/NEWI/SFFsmall.png http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/ediraflogo.jpg

Schiavone Football Federation chief Michael Ford today announced that they had done a deal with Starblaydi sportswear firm Ediraf for the making of Schiavonia's kits for the next two World Cups.

"Well, we say that, but the truth is that we don't want to short change the fans," Ford told the gathered reporters. "So we'll be keeping the same kit for both cups."

The kits themselves will be in the main colours of the Schiavone flag, while they will also undoubtedly feature Ediraf's trademark side panels. The kits are likely to be unveiled in a few days time.

Other news from the SFF: Ford's legal case filed against the nation of Rejistania has been dropped on the advice of his lawyers, while the SFF have decided upon a nickname for their team, which they will unveil in the coming days, probably as they reveal the kits.

"Bazalopes in a Canoe without a Creek" by Nev Gould

With the Bazalopes staggering amount of injuries the BFSA has made an announcement concerning the make up of the Bazalonian team for the 26th World Cup. James Gaines had this to say in a recent press conference.

"Well The good news is that the vast majority of our players injuries have healed to the point where we are confident in their abilities to play soccer. However both Andrew and Anthony Creek have sustained injuries that will rule both of them out for the entire World Cup.... Lucas Reaver and Shane Smith look like they may not make the first match but will make a good enough recovery to return sometime midway through the World cup."

Do the Creeks add to the team more than tey take away with Andrew's frequent yellow and red carding? Well Let's see how the team goes with out the Creeks... Hopefully the Bazalope Canoe moves past the creek of mediocrity and onto the river of success.

MONASTIC TIMES

HOLY SYNOD REMAIN UNCONVINCED OVER WOLFMAN
Coach Kyrill takes 'wait and see' approach
Attack on Fr. Simeon the Vampire Slayer also linked to World Cup

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe


Senior Bishops on the Holy Synod [which, OOC, is a conference of Bishops, not an individual] remained unconvinced last night over whether to permit the Wolfman to enter the Archregimancy should the nation be drawn in the same qualifying group as Elrich, despite the latter kingdom's assurances that werewolves are a protected and closely-monitored minority within Elrich's borders.

"I dunno" said Metropolitan Theophilus of Simonopetra "sounds awfully fishy to me. How do we know this isn't some sort of Satanic plot to undermine our Holy Monastic Republic?"

The Holy Synod and Monastic Footballing Association have both, however, stopped short of officially demanding the execution of the Wolfman, amidst concern that this would simply send the Wolfman's soul straight to Hell, where he would be immediately snapped up by the Anathematic Republics as their new midfielder.

"That's the last thing we want" said Coach Kyrill, Metropolitan of Solovetsky. "Helping Satan win football matches is not what we do". Coach Kyrill is said to have joined Fr. Seraphim the Occasionally Dangerously Free-Thinking Theologian in asking the Holy Synod and the Archregimand to adopt an official 'wait and see' attitude. Fr. Seraphim in particular is said to have forcefully argued that if Elrich are drawn into a different qualifying group, then any further demands from the Holy Synod relating to the Wolfman would be seen as an irrelevant attempt to meddle in the private affairs of a sovereign nation, and that this would more likely cause resentment towards the Orthodox Church than encourage conversion and missionary activity.

Meanwhile, the attack on Fr. Simeon the Vampire Slayer by three one-size-bigger-than-minor demons has also been linked to the World Cup. Senior sources, speaking on condition of anonymity, believe the attack to have been directly ordered by the Prince of Darkness himself in a fit of pique that the servants of God can field a much stronger team than the humiliatingly weak Damned of the Anathematic Republics. Further comment was not forthcoming as the same senior officials did not want to encourage Satan. Fr. Simeon himself survived the attack thanks to the immense, yet typical, stupidity displayed by the demons in attacking Fr. Simeon while he was cataloguing the contents of his private holy water store cupboard.

[[OOC: Once again, this IC post is on the behalf of the Anathematic Republics, currently inaccesible owing to computer troubles. We apologize for any inconveniences.]]

It had been a good week and a half, and the copy of the Monastic Times detailing the demise of the three one-size-larger-than-minor demons had finally arrived at Satan's desk, in spite of concerted efforts by various underlings to keep it away from him. Satan, in a fit of apoplectic rage, picked up the phone and prepared to light into the first person who picked up the line.

"Morseley, Demon Dispatch, how may I help you?"

"YOU BASTARDS! YOU ABSOLUTE BLOODY BASTARDS!"

"Yes, sir. Is there anything I can do for you today?"

"You can track down those ABSOLUTELY FLAMING MORONS who sent three demons calling on a man with a cupboard full of holy water, for starters. You can then send his ragged arse to my office and cancel all his appointments for the next 5000 years. Tell him he's going to go run the yeshivah we stuck all those Nazi commanders in."

"One second, sir, let me check out records to find out who placed that order..."

At Satan's request, Cher had been removed as the "on-hold" music, replaced by the sound of a drunk man jackhammering a pipe organ accompanied by the Colicy Baby chorale. It was, Satan supposed, progress of a sort.

Morseley cut back in. "It appears that you originally issued the orders, sir."

"Me?"

"Yes, you. What, you can't hear me?"

"Why, you cheeky little...weren't you supposed to be reassigned to the worst job in Hell?"

"They thought about it for a couple days. Then they stuck me back here. It doesn't get much worse than this, they said."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, I have to deal with your anger-control-challenged self, don't I?" With that, he disconnected Satan.

Mashoda steps down as coach

Team denies 'karela' shift

In a move that surprised many observers of Majeristani football, the Holy Republic's inaugural team has edged aside Avid Mashoda, the man who was their first-ever national team coach, naming Hatime I Ra~e, the coach of Rejistania's World Cup XXV finalists as the new field boss.

"I'll be honest, when we cast about for a head coach, the last thing we expected was to have the coach of the World Cup XXV finalists applying for this job," said Tirahimi al Haseweji, Chairman of the Majeristani Football Association. "We were looking for a proven leader and Ra~e definitely fits the bill."

"I will bring a strong defence to the Falcons," Ra~e said in his first press conference at the team's training facility outside National Stadium in the Majeristani capital of Tikira. "I look forward to putting my past in Rejistania behind me."

The Orange-Blues fired Ra~e due to financial transaction problems when the Orange-Blues were well on their way to qualifying, but al Haseweji said that would not present a problem for the Falcons.

"First of all, the FA will control the purse strings, and [Falcons assistant coach Roger] Taylor has been handling the financial end since Mashoda took over," he said. "Ra~e will be excellent for this team."

Published reports suggested that former Milchama head coach Jonathan Fairbanks was also under consideration and al Haseweji said "we had several very viable candidates emerge after Mashoda's heart attack."

For his part, Mashoda was not relieved of his duties voluntarily.

"I thought I could still coach the team, but obviously, the FA had other ideas," he said in a press conference after Ra~e was named head coach. "I guess I'll never know what I could bring to this team with a full six matches of play against strong competition prior to the World Cup."

"Avid Mashoda is still an important part of the Falcons," al Haseweji said. "He will always be known as the architect of our national football programme. But we've got to make sure that he's going to be healthy enough to be around for a long time to come."

Get Your Kits Out For The Lads

Hyppos' New Kit Released

Hypocrian football’s governing body has a reputation within the nation for being rather underhanded at times in their dealings and that has come to the fore once again with the revelation that the HFA had been negotiating with two of the largest sportswear companies in the world at the same time.

It had all seem so straight forward to begin with. Prior to World Cup 25 the football association had agreed a four year deal with Krytenian firm JMC with which JMC would be the official kit suppliers to Hypocria’s national football team. With that deal now expired the HFA had been expected to renew their ties with the Krytenian company for another four years and indeed association chief Alex Scott had been in contact with JMC in regards to an updated kit deal. But then events got a little complicated.

Mainly when Starblaydi sportswear giants Ediraf posted on their website (or NSwiki as it’s sometimes known) that they, and not JMC, would be supplying the nation’s national team. This development prompt Scott to come clean and admit that he had agreed a deal with the Starblaydi firm. Ediraf, who have recently added Spaam, System Karela and Schivonia to their client base, also supply reigning world champions Starblaydia and clearly the lure of being in such illustrious company appealed to the HFA’s hierarchy. In fact it’s rumoured that Ediraf also lured away the Fmjphoenix contract after the Vikings’ management had been in contact with JMC.

And after all that the Hyppos’ new, and Ediraf designed, kit was finally unveiled at a press conference in Hypocrium today.

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a359/Hypocria/HypocHome26_.pnghttp://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a359/Hypocria/HypocAway26.png

FROM THE OFFICES OF UONGA, KASH AND MULAH

Legal Department
Ediraf Ltd
Ediraf House
Brady Street
Vecchio
Starblaydia

OUR CLIENT: JMC SPORTSWEAR PLC
OUR REF: Not bribed, yours?

We believe that your company acted unethically in the procurement of the Hypocrian national team contract. We also have reason to believe you used both subterfuge and blackmail to your own nefarious ends. We do not take this kind of bullying tactic lightly, and will see you smegheads in court.

Miles O. Redtape
Incident Administrator
Uonka Kash & Mulah Solicitors

Qutar Computer Magazine Issue #092

Today a small bunch of programmers from Bembridge University, released their first game for the open market. Following up on the football fever that The Islands of Qutar has seen since their triumph in the Baptism of Fire, they have released; Road to the World Cup. This includes the Pre-World Cup tornament Baptism of Fire as well as the World Cup itself, you can sit back and just be the manager and watch the game unfold or be part of the action, or even both. The graphics on the game I have to say really impressed me, and the gameplay was challenging enough but just right for the amatuer gamer aswell. Since its release the publishing rights have been bought up by Qutar's largest software manufacturer QLOGIC. With this the game will be able to reach nations across the world and spread football fever. There will be stiff competition from the NMSoft's game, but James Ball the lead programmer just said that he was happy with its success here

Bazalonian Youths Arrested For Piracy by Jonah Ron

In raids carried out by the police today police have arrested an unreleased number of Bazalonian youths after the discovery of a Bazalonian-based website offering free downloads of both the Official NMSoft World Cup 26 game and the newly released unofficial Road to the World Cup published by QLogic. The website was traced back to these individuals and a Search and Seize warrent was executed in the homes of these youth this morning. Police say they have enough evidence to put them away for life... That is if the sentence for life was allowed for this charge. The police have contacted NMSoft and QLogic and wish to see if they will press for charges on the youth. The Website has been taken down. One of the youths has been reported to have said... "With the Road to the World Cup... Bazalonia could easily have won the World Cup...." Some people are sceptical howeever and make accusations against Caine Hawdon, The Prime Minister's cousin for being involved. However we have yet to see any evidence that supports that speculation and it is not the view of this reporter.

The Weegie Star
Silver Boots Issued To Weegie Side As "Precautionary Measure"

by Ronald Maldaich

With the World Cup not far away, the Weegie national football team have begun training in earnest together at The People's Stadium in Mackintosh. Frederick Persson, the man who divides so many Weegies as to his talents as a manager, has got together his side with a quite and unassuming humility coupled with pride and unquestioning optimism in his side. The side look happy under Persson, although slightly nondescript, just like any other football side.

Then you notice the glint of the boots in the afternoon sun. The boots look strangely... shiny.

"Oh, that?" says the gaffer, when questioned, still with a trace of Svea Rigan in his voice (Persson wasn't born here; he is a Rigan emigré from when he was a small boy, son of a wealthy Rigan industrialist who came here to get out of the cold of Svea Riga, one of those who propped up the old regime here in the Weegies, but of course, none of us can help who we are related to - Persson himself protested as a student against Weegie discrimination by the Rigans) "The boots are silver."

Did I hear him right? Silver boots? Isn't that a little... well, heavy?

He chuckles slightly. "Oh, no. No no no. You misunderstand. The boots are covered in silver leaf. Of course the boots are not made entirely of silver. That would be rediculous. And despite what I have heard from some quarters, I am not that bad a tactician. The tips of the studs are also silver. They were flown here from Celdonia - excellent workmanship, excellent balance on the boots, quite remarkable."

So why the flash design? Merely a makeover to make all the Islanders feel good about themselves?

"Not really. I take it you have heard of the Wolfman of Elrich?"

I swallowed slightly. Of course I had heard of the Wolfman. I'd seen a few pictures of him, a great, hulking brute. Of course, I had met werewolves before when I had covered Lobisonian football, but this guy was something else, something that seemed a little more slavering and primal, even for a defender. I wouldn't like to be the striker that comes up against that guy.

"Well, everyone knows werewolves are somewhat... allergic to silver. You see where I am going with this, do you not?"

Well, pi'ail na chlan. The little Rigan genius looked at a problem and just took it from the best angle - completely askew, sideways. Whilst others were complaining of the Wolfman being "unholy" and other such hollow pieties, Persson was getting the job done to totally neutralise the threat that the Wolfman posed. However, there was a nagging doubt about the boots. I asked him if that was legal.

"I see no reason why it is not. These are perfectly ordinary boots apart from the fact that the metal used in the studs is silver rather than a more base metal. I can't see anything in the rules of the game that would prevent these boots from being used."

Fair enough, I said. Of course, surely our own Haldair isn't afraid of a wolfman?

"Oh no. Ha, I'll let Haldair speak for himself." The man-mountain comes rumbling over as Persson calls for him. A huge hand is thrust in my direction as I shake it, or rather, it shakes me. A giant grin is what can be mainly seen from Haldair, a boyish wink completing the picture. "Aye, thur's nae bother wi' yon doggie. Ah'll get yon biscuits oot an' ah'll hae tha' boy fur tea masel, ye ken? He'll be whimperin' away when ah puts the leash oan. Muzzle that boy. Ah've eaten bigger stuff, and s****d it oot afterwards.", he rumbles genially.

Isn't this all a big cost, though?

"The WFA have alwas spared no expense for the Weegie side, and of course they've had a surplus since the revenue from the CoH came through."

But they are only one team, Elrich. Won't it just be a huge waste of money if we're not drawn with them?

"Well, they still do look rather excellent."

I have to admit that he is entirely right in that respect.

Cataduanes go into isolation

After the Islanders plucky yet ineffective participation in the Baptism tournament the Cataduaño coaching team headed by Jose Manua have taken the team into isolation to train in a secret location in the mountains of central Cataduanes. Rumors have circulated that drill instructors from the Cataduaño armed forces are helping in improving the fitness of the squad.
Manua has maintained a press black out except to confirm the call up of the younsters Armando Ribera and Mattias Lopez Cerro. The team are scheduled for frtiendly with neighbouring 'New Cataduanes' next week.

Tadjik I'net Police alerted

The recent succes of such games as NMS' World Cup 26 game and 'Road to the World Cup' has led to the mass infestation of computers in Tadjikistan and is said to be spreading to neighbouring states as well. The problem causing the this infestation is a new virus that may get on the gamers harddisk in many different ways.

Budimir Loncar, chieff of Tadjikistans internet crime department said: 'Appearantly we have a group of hackers who have been putting the virus on servers in Tadjikistan and spreading it through chatrooms as well as during multiplayer gaming. The virus was discovered for the first time on a Tadjik server, used only by Tadjiks for Tadjiks in a local language. The creator or creators of the virus have to be a Tadjik and we are currently investigating all possibilities in this direction.'
'We must advise all gamers to be careful when downloading patches or files related to iether one of these two games. They should also update their anti-virus programs. We hope to solve the problem soon.'

QLOGIC Patch Update

After a recent spate of viri in Tadjikistan, with users thinking they have downloaded a patch for "Road to the World Cup", QLOGIC have set up a website in all languages were patches will only be able to be downloaded from, they are free so there is no need to download from other sources

The Schiavone Scribe
INTRODUCING THE SLOTHS!

SFF Chief Michael Ford and Schiavonia national team manager Rodney Lowe spoke to the press yesterday about how Schiavonia's new nickname - The Sloths.

"After our performances in the Baptism of Fire, it was an obvious choice!" stated Ford. "Seeing as we spent most of the time asleep, it fits perfectly! And the alliteration is good, too."

Meanwhile, Gareth Marsden and Filipo Schiavone modelled the Sloths' new kits, made by Starblaydi sports giants Ediraf. They seemed happy enough, but then, so did the two female model that they were sharing the stage with.

Anyway, here's the kits they'll be wearing. The home kit is based around the Schiavone flag's colours, while the away is designed on the basis that white is always a good alternative option.

http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/SchiavoniaHome26.pnghttp://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/SchiavoniaAway26.png

They seem popular with fans. Over 300,000 replica shirts were sold on the opening day of sales!

The Weegie Star
Smith Becomes Milchama Co-Boss

by Andrea Spall

It was entirely unexpected, a shock for most Weegies hearing a name of legend suddenly drift back into the public conscience. Today it was announced that Jamie Smith, legendary Mackintosh Thistle Celtic striker, Weegie national squad captain, and World Cup Hall of Famer, was appointed co-manager of the Milchama national football team along with former U21 Milchama coach, Patrice Thibault.

Jamie Smith, of course, is one of the two Weegies to be inducted into the World Cup Hall of Fame, along with former Buchanan LFC midfielder Peter De Bruis, now sadly deceased. Smith remains the highest scoring player for Mackintosh Thistle Celtic of all time to this day.

But he has also had a competent managerial career at MackintoshThistle Celtic, winning four out of seven titles for the River Jags, as well as five out of seven Weegie National Cups. He caretaker-managed the unsuccessful attempt to qualify for the 17th World Cup, although he did make it to the playoffs. And he sent every Weegie football fan into ecstacy when, as caretaker manager during World Cup 23, he took the Weegies into the World Cup Finals for the first time since World Cup 10 - a gap of 52 years.

But Jamie hasn't been in football circles since then, if you don't count the occassional article for the Star. He's been in a sort of semi-retirement in Mackintosh, and still attends every Mackintosh Thistle Celtic game when the River Jags are playing at home. It's a quite relaxing life, no doubt, and no-one doesn't think he deserves it.

So why the sudden change of heart, and why an application to the Milchama squad? It's all been done very secretive. We asked Jamie at the press conference where this was announced, and he looked animated and alive.

"I just felt like I was wasting my time, really. I know I'm an old man by now but by God I've still got some fight left in me. I'm not just going to sit there crumbling into a colostomy bag like some of those oldies you see. I wanted to get right back into the game, right back into football, and I didn't think there was anywhere better than the World Cup. So I just applied for the Milchama job. I wanted to get right back in the game at the top. Hell, I would have applied for the Rejistania job if I thought they'd accept me and they weren't so damned defensive. So I saw Milchama's plea for a coach, and I saw them a good attacking side, and I thought, why not? And here I am."

Of course, what we wanted to know is, what if Milchama are drawn with the Weegies?

"Of course it's going to be hard if Milchama are drawn in with the Islanders. Of course it is. But, you know, I'm a professional, and I'm going to work hard, and work to win, no matter who my opponent is. I'll be heartbroken if we knock out my country's side, directly or indirectly, that's true. But that's not going to stop me from doing the best job I can here."

So will Jamie be flying home each week to catch the River Jags in action still?

"I'm afraid not." He grimaces. "I'm going to have to catch it on telly. I've got too much to do here working with Patrice. By the time I've finished working with these lads, they'll be a well-oiled machine. Thinking football. Eating football. Dreaming about football. That's what makes a winner."

Daily Herald

Our reporter managed to gain an exclusive interview with Iain Corder ahead of the World Cup 26.
Reporter: So what are the prospects for the qualifying campaign then?
Iain: It should be interesting, as of this time we do not know who we will draw against
R: Is there anyone you fancy playing?
I: Liverpool England, Sarzonia and Starblaydia have reputations that precede them, it would be lovely to play against teams of such distinction. Though not all in the same group obviously!!
R: Do you have any squad news?
I:Steve Trave has recently joined the squad. He is looking sharp in practise. It is possible that my team for the first game will be a 4-4-3 and Trave will play.
R: Do you know your best side yet?
I: I have been trying out various combinations in practise, mix and match etc. I am fairly close to knowing. There are still a couple of places to try for in the starting line up but as I want to keep everyone on their toes to avoid complacency
R: Thank you very much for your time. Good luck!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v419/msarzo/MAJ.png

Falcons unveil new kit

Assistant Coach Roger Taylor took a break from his duties at the team's training facility at National Stadium to unveil the team's new kits, designed by the renowned Krytenian manufacturing company JMC.

The home kit features the team's falcon mascot in green and gold with the uniform number in the upper left hand side of the player's front shirt. The away kit is a combination of green and white, with the falcon and number in green as opposed to the gold of the home kits.

"We believe these kits to be both excellently-styled and a strong representation of the Holy Republic of Majeristan," Taylor said at the conference. "We believe we will be well-served in the World Cup throughout our stay there."

Taylor asked supporters to be patient and "realistic" about the team's chances of advancing past the qualifying stage, saying "it's extremely difficult to advance unless you had great success in the Baptism of Fire Cup. Even then, that success is not always a guarantee you'll do well your first time out."

He said the team would play "hard-nosed football," and "no one will out work us." He added that with Registanian Hatime I Ra~e setting the tactical direction for the team, they would play defence-oriented football, but "not karela."

"We want to minimise scoring chances for our opponents," Taylor said. "The best way to do that is to play within the confines of a defensive system, at least until we get our legs under us internationally. Perhaps we'll play more aggressively on offence some time in the future, but right now, we need our defence to be strong."

The team said that with Ra~e taking over, he would adopt a 5-4-1 formation, though with Taylor's influence, he said a 4-5-1 was possible "somewhere in the near future.

"That's going to depend on how well we play as a team in this World Cup," Taylor said. "If we're doing well with the 5-4-1, we're not going to fix something if it ain't broken, but if we're costing ourselves scoring opportunities when we don't need to be, we can play a little less defensively."

Ra~e said the team would face the World Cup as "the great unknown.

"No one knows what this team can do against world-class competition. We'll find out together, won't we?"

NMSOFT TO SUE QLOGIC

"Road to the World Cup" alledged to be "total and complete ripoff" of bestselling footie game

NEW MONTREAL - NMSoft announced their intentions of suing QLogic for copyright infringement and theft of intellectual property for their release of "Road to the World Cup" - another World Cup 26 simulation.

The suit alleges "multiple breaches of various international copyright and intellectual-property laws." Although the specifics were rather arcane, the gist of the suit is that NMSoft demands royalties and punitive damages of about USD 20 per copy sold. A specific tally was not yet available at press time.

Lawyers for NMSoft have vowed to hound QLogic "'till we run out of money, and that'll be a while." A private source in the upper ranks of NMSoft stated that various compromises were being suggested, most promenently a buy-out of QLogic. "Hell, we can afford it," said the source, "and it'd make more sense that pissing away our profits on legal action."

VIRUS DENTS NMSOFT PRODUCTS

Company to release corrective patch

NEW MONTREAL - After recent efforts by Bazalonian and Tadjikistani hackers to attach viruses to bootleg patches of "World Cup 26 Football" proved successful, NMSoft officials announced that they had readied patches for most major operating systems. "We'll get the rest by Friday," vowed the official. These patches will be available for download off the NMSoft site within the next 24 hours.

BAZALONIAN PIRATES NOT PURSUED BY NMSOFT

"Local authorities seem to have it well in hand," - spokesman

NEW MONTREAL - NMSoft has decided to not pursue civil suits against various Bazalonian computer pirates who made illegal version of "World Cup 26 Football" available for download.

"The local authorities seem to have the situation well under control," said the same haggard-looking official we quoted in our other two articles. "Also, we believe that the entire networth of the pirates is a half-dozen souped-up computers, a large collection of illegal files, and a pile of unlaundered clothing. Hardly worth the time and money. Finally, we've got enough on our plates to deal with right now. Now excuse me, I need some sleep." With that, he passed out right there on the podium, and was carried off to a couch somewhere before going home.

Oliverry Says NO to challange

The Hosts and one of the best teams in the world cup this season have said "NO" to mohamed Luure and the young and dominatable Hiiraanians. The Coach did not even mention a word about the rejection, but sources close to him have said he was not sad at all, matter fact some of them said the coach was relieved that the French did not except his challange.

However, the Players could not keep their up and down lips shut. Warsame Mohamed, Mohamud Khallid, Mohamed Nuur, Zakariya Mohamed and Michael Nuur all said they were disappointed, some however went even further. Players like the Abdul-Hakeem Naasih and Barre Mohamud all said that there was something further happening, even one of them, Barre Mohamud said that oliverry chickened out.

Nothing as of yet have happened though, the training ground has been locked all to but special access reporters only and the team has been last seen 3 days ago. the players have also been reported to be watching the end of BoF, scouting on future opponents.

"The Rankings and the Group" by Nev Gould

In the stage of international soccer, today has been a busy day... Firstly the release of the KPB Rankings. This is the first Rankings that Bazalonia has been involved. A ranking of 126 in the world, we could have done better but now we need to move on from our semi-successful Baptism of fire. As well as the incident involved during our loss to the islands of Qutar. James Gaine, president of the BFSA had this to say about the ranking.

"It is better than we had expected but not where we had hoped to be after a clean-sweep through our group round."

What will be Bazalonia's position in the world rankings after the world cup? Well no one can really tell... It will depend on a lot of things... One of the things it depends upon is our group in the World Cup Qualifier round. Which just happens to be our second piece of news from international soccer. Just hours after the official release of the KPB Rankings the hosts for the 26th World Cup Commerce Heights and Oliverry drew the groups. Bazalonia was drawn into the 9th group for the Qualifiers... Other members of their group with their rankings in brackets after them are as follows: Squornshelous(4), Nedalia(35), Harlesburg(39), Nanakaland(59), Wentland(161), Collonie(184). After receiveing news of the draw the Bazalonian Cheif Coach, Caine Hawdon has said...

"We have a hard draw we do not have the international experience to get anywhere near Squornshelous, Nedalia or Harlesburg, we need a miracle against Nanakaland, but should be able to handle Wentland and Collonie, fellow Baptism of Fire competitors, however we have not met any of our opponents before and this is going to be an interesting World cup campaign."

The BFSA has yet to confirm a new roster due to the various injuries, but we should be expecting one any day now as the World Cup comes closer every day.

Qutar Sports News Network

Officials from the QFA have annouced today that the Stadium of Light is completely ready for the World Cup qualifiers, concerns had been raised as to wether the stadiums new expansions would be ready in time, but thankfully Qutar will be able to welcome nations into the new 80,000 all seated stadium. The QFA also spoke of the matter of away tickets, that each nation will be guarenteed 12,000 tickets to be sold to their fans, and that up to a limit this may be extended if an offical request is made to them. The QFA said that there will be a police presence at all the games, but Qutar hasn't seen football hooligalism since the eighties and is expecting no trouble. If however away fans behave in a manner that is deemed against our laws we will have no choice but to escort him to his embassy.

Cuation manager backs Bazalonia.

Cuation Herald

It has been a nice time for the Cuation team as they train for the World Cup. It however has been rather unkind to Bazalonia, a good start got them confidence but alas they fell in the quaters to Island of Qutar, the eventual winners. Rathern then praise the staff for a good job, the FA seemed to be focus on a minor punch up.

Just to add to the poor staffs problem was a high injury list which made the loss of Gary Jens in the last cup seem minor. The first year is always tough but under pressure and with a huge injury crisis, the task is near impossible. This is perhaps why the young manager Jude decided to speak in the defence of the unlucky staff.

"Most sides would be happy to do so well in thier first cup yet becuase of a few fights, the FA slams the staff. How is the team meant to prove themselves when injury hit? The staff should be left free to do thier jobs and I'm sure the team will do itself proud, no matter who they draw in this cup or the Cup of Harmony afterwards. I expect them to be ranked close to our 104 of last year."

The Cuation FA has decided not to release the team's new ranking yet though it is expected to be better then 104 that they started with last time and we still have not been given the groups though some other nations press do know thiers. We got a decent group last time and managed seventh, partly due to the teams inability to play against the lesser teams.

Stars face 'Hero'ic challenge

WOODSTOCK (ASP) -- After a wait that seemed to be much longer than the four year waiting period that is suppposed to come between World Cups, the Sarzonian national football team finally received the group draw.

Sarzonia will be playing against EL CID THE HERO, Kericia, Apologetic Kittens, Star Signs, County Islands, and Montrique in Group 1 in World Cup XXVI qualifying. The Stars have a streak of advancing to the World Cup seven consecutive times, while they have advanced past the groups stage five straight times.

"This looks on paper like a group that we should be able to advance from," Coach Barry Owens said. "However, we know there's a definite folly in obsessing over the world rankings of the teams we play against. Any team in this bracket can give us a world of trouble."

The Stars hope this time they will be able to concentrate on football after facing distractions the past two World Cups. The qualifying stage of World Cup XXV witnessed the invasion of political controversy into the football realm when Sarzonia and Euroslavia played their "home" and "away" legs.

Commerce Heights and Sarzonia battled back and forth during World Cup XXIV over Sarzonia's insistence on playing at a neutral site during the Panteran War, not to mention the controversy surrounding former Coach Dave Wilson changing his mind over retirement and becoming coach of the Hypocrian national team.

"We're hoping those controversies are behind us," goalkeeper and team captain Horace Sandt said. "We advanced to the semifinals each time; in fact we've advanced to the semifinals four straight World Cups, but it'd be nice to get away from the outside controversies."

Sandt takes over as the team captain for a national team that saw its previous captain, defender Trevor Crenshaw retire after the team lost to Squornshelous 2-0 in the third place match of World Cup XXV. The Stars managed to retain their number one ranking despite the disappointing finish because Starblaydia pulled off an upset of Rejistania in the finals.

"We're going to have to do a lot better than fourth place," forward Brian Wilson said. "This is going to be my last World Cup and probably Hor's and we want to go out with a World Cup trophy."

Le Quotidien de Marshalliston, 7 Décembre 2015
The Association Oliverrienne de Soccer's president, Jimmy Lejeune, answers to Hiiraanian Soccer Association's sayings

MARSHALLISTON: CENTRE, Capitale: "I never refused any kind of challenges, he told us. I didn't even receive one, excepted from Liverpool England, which they accepted. If they want to challenge us, they have to send us the proper invite, not just cry and whine in newspaper. That tells us many things about their reputation." he completed. Sure, he is not happy about this and will write to the president of the Hiiraanian association to rectify the situation.

Falcons draw brutal group

If Majeristan is to buck the trend of debut sides missing out on the World Cup finals, they will have to do it against a Group 12 that Coach Hatime I Ra~e described as "brutal."

"This will be a difficult draw for these lads," Ra~e said. "One Red Dot have proved themselves through this tournament as a tough side to deal with. Oaker Sharks have made a World Cup championship final, Hypocria is coached by that Sarzonian [Dave Wilson] and they're probably going to make it to the knockouts stage sooner rather than later under him.

"System Karela are probably the best chance among the higher-ranked sides for us to earn some points," Ra~e said. "I'm personally familiar with them and I think I can figure out how to beat Karela." Palacetonia and Hurleyland are "relatively new football programmes like we are, so we'll have to fight our way through them to earn a good place in this Cup."

The Falcons expect little but a lot of hard work in the days ahead.

"This isn't time for us to talk about winning World Cups or even making the finals, but as long as we work harder than any other team in the world, we should be all right," assistant coach Roger Taylor said. "That's going to be hard with Hypocria under Dave Wilson, but we're sure as hell going to try."

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/4sport.png

Group Draw leads to the traditional post-draw optimism
Who knew we were in the second pot anyway

"Turori, Yafor 2, Swilatia, The Kazoo Peoples, Rolatia and Hiiraan." Hill announced, looking at Casari's opponents in World Cup Qualifying. "We're not going to be in a safe position for a while. Until we can come out of the gate and win our first few matches, we're going to be in a fight."

Casari was drawn into group 6 for the second consecutive year, but stumbled badly out of the gate, forcing them to fight back to earn the third Qualification spot.

"We are in the best position we've ever been, and this should be a WC to remember."

The World Cup 26 RP thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=463733) is now up. Qualifying should begin in the next 1–2 days.

After reading the latest press release from the Cuation management James Gaines has organised a press conference to discuss.

"Thank you, everyone for coming."he starts, "First of all we want to say that he have always supported our players. If we did not think we had a team that we could be proud of then I'd very serious doubt if we would have entered our team in the competition. However we are currently unhappy with our coaching team's, and one coach in particular, lack of ability to keep old league rivalry's in the cooler. The fracas in our loss to the Qutar team was only an ugly symptom of an underlying disease, a fractured team. This is the coaches duty to forge the team into a co-hesive unit and we just do not currently see that. On a more positive not we are also able to announce the players that will replace the creek Brothers in the team. Johanes Bask and Nathan Iglacious.. Just after this press conference will update our official World Cup Roster. Does any one have any questions?"

A female news reporter stood up and asked "This is the second time that cuation has seemed to attack the leadership of the Bazalopes, What is your opinion of the Cuation Management?".. and then sat down again

"I have to say I agree with the sentiment that the cuation management has given us both times. It will take many world cups for us to be in a position where we can truely be competition against the worlds top 10 nations, and statements like the ones Caine Hawdon said that prompted the first comments are just not helpful in any way. The recent comments however are right, the Bazalope players have done a wonderful job in getting as far as they had in the Baptism of fire, but their coaches had failed them. We have had some discussion with the coaches and beleive that the issues raised have been taken on board for the teams preperation."

A male reporter stood up and asked "We have yet to hear anything about the stadium to be used for Bazalonia's home games during the qualifiers. What's up with that?" ... then satdown again.

"Ah... We will be using the TeleBaz Stadium in Fauxhan for the qualifiers... We have a special secret that has just been finished installed in the Stadium. I am not going to tell you anything more... you'll just have to wait and see... Well thank you for attending... I've got a meeting now, so that is where we will have to leave it."

James left the conference and headed back to his office.