NationStates Jolt Archive

Thomas wasn't sure if he could do it. He knew that Prime Minister needed to be taken out but he didn't like the plan. Could you really trust a cat? That's what the whole plan depended on. Could they really trust Socks, the pet cat of some drunk in the nation of Casari, to carry out this plan. They had been training it for months to be able to scratch out Horowitz's eyes and then bite out his jugular vein. Thomas still could not believe that it would work.

Thomas let the cat in at midnight with Horowitz already asleep. He heard the screaming and then it stopped. He realized it had just worked, thru the chaos Thomas quickly picked up Socks and left the scenes.

The next day the papers looked like this:
Alexandria Times-Tribune-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Journal Enquirer

Front Page

Liam Horowitz assinated, contested elections to begin

This meant one thing to Thomas and his Tashmovitz party, it was time to form their army...

OOC: Quickly a recap of the last contested election in Milchama:

It took two years, they were 5 assinations and over 6500 casualties of all sides in the elections. The former leader Prime Minister Liam Horowitz won by only 102 votes in what many thought was then a rigged vote (later proved false). There was also the formation of no less than 10 paramilitary groups along with the actual military taking sides.

You can RP this however you want. Just let me do the official assinations of leaders

Here is my wiki article with the parties:
http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Milchama#Elections (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Milchama)

The leader of each party of importance other parties might be introduced later:
Limad: Eli Gohel
Communist International: Tim Gonnenberg
Tashmovitz: Amit Mickwe
Conservative Milchama: Johnson Thomasson
Jewism: Rabbi Schlomo Mital
Warrior: Barney Keller
Telan: Marcos Malen
Eagle: Kent Wintern

((OOC: WTF. Thats messed up, A cat could not muster up enough danger to kill a man, unless he died from an infection, and that is easy to counter. I've been bit by many a cat, and no normal house cat could do such a thing.))

((OOC: WTF. Thats messed up, A cat could not muster up enough danger to kill a man, unless he died from an infection, and that is easy to counter. I've been bit by many a cat, and no normal house cat could do such a thing.))

OOC: Yeh I realize this but it doesn't matter. I just wanted a creative way for my leader to die and decided that using Casari's pet cat Socks was the best way I got.

Anyway the assination really doesn't matter as much as the actual election campaign.

OOC: Yeh I realize this but it doesn't matter. I just wanted a creative way for my leader to die and decided that using Casari's pet cat Socks was the best way I got.

Anyway the assination really doesn't matter as much as the actual election campaign.
((OOC:OK I just wanted to make sure you wren't being serious))

Tel Morlin Dispatch-Moon-Telegram-Update-Sun-Star-Picayune-Times

News Section

Eagle party makes first move in election

The Eagle party has made the first move in the elections today as they officially called for support from the Telan and Tashmovitz parties. They also debuted a new headquarters for their party for the election. Both the Eagle and Telan parties have no seats in parliament as of the last election of parliament. With the contested elections, they and every other little party are trying to win seats. The Eagle and Telan parties have the best chances of gaining seats according to many pundits because they have either charismatic politicians (Telan) or an obscenely rich leader (Eagle).

Outside of this announcement the election front was surprisingly quiet. It seems that the major want to bide their time and wait for the aftermath of Horowitz's death to sink in.

It was also decided after an autopsy that Prime Minister Horowitz died of natural causes. The funeral for the Prime Minister will be held Wednesday at the Alexandria National Synagogue, there are expected to be about 10,000 people in attendance.

((OOC: WTF. Thats messed up, A cat could not muster up enough danger to kill a man, unless he died from an infection, and that is easy to counter. I've been bit by many a cat, and no normal house cat could do such a thing.))

[OOC: It could, if it used a sharpened banana.]

IC:

"The Commonality is curious as to whether international observers will be allowed to... well, observe... the Milchaman elections."

~ 2nd Ambassador Neurat

IC:

"The Commonality is curious as to whether international observers will be allowed to... well, observe... the Milchaman elections."

~ 2nd Ambassador Neurat

Ambassador Neurat:

Come, observe, take a seat, and watch the election campaign unfold.

Sincerely,
current Vice Prime Minister Eli Gohel

Tel Morlin Dispatch-Moon-Telegram-Update-Sun-Star-Picayune-Times

Front Page

Horowitz's Funeral attended by over 15,000

The funeral of Prime Minister Liam Horowitz, today, was attended by over 15,000 mourners, from all walks of life. The service, held at the Alexandria National Synagogue, was a solemn 2 hour event where there were 10 eulogies with people ranging from the King John Fishhook of Collonie to Horowitz's brother Michael. The best speech was by the Vice Prime Minister Eli Gohel who called Horowitz, "A champion of the people." and urged them to continue the great work that he started, and vote Limad in this next election.

This next election, the first contested election since Horowitz was voted into office in 130 A.C., will be an important one for the Limad party who are expected to be led by Eli Gohel. The primaries for the Limad party will be held next week. The current polls show Gohel with 66% of support with his nearest contender, Martin Weesh, with only 15%.

This service begins the shivah period (for our international readers the period of Jewish mourning) for the Horowitz family. The shivah services will be held at 6 in the Brick House. All are welcome to come and help the Horowitzs get past this tragic loss.






Page 2

Current poll numbers for the Limad, Communist International, and Tashmovitz primaries

Limad:
Eli Gohel 66%
Marcus Weesh 15%
Tanner Miller 9%
Alan Keys 6%
Other 4%

Communist International:
Tim Gonnenberg 50%
Steve Klasmy 45%
Nat Schoon 3%
Other 2%

Tashmovitz:
Amit Mickwe 33%
Thomas Walt 30%
Piece of Wood 20%
Shoelace 15%
Other 2%

Tel Morlin Dispatch-Moon-Telegram-Update-Sun-Star-Picayune-Times

Front Page

Primaries to be Held Today

The all important primaries will be held today across the country of Milchama. The Warrior Peoples, are expecting two tightly contested primaries while the third big party will probably be a blowout.

Eli Gohel has seemed to lock up the Limad's party nomination, with 66% of the vote coming into yesterday it would take a minor miracle for him not to get the nomination. The other two parties though, are much closer. The Communist International Party could have its nominee swing either way, with Tim Gonnenberg and Steve Klasmy getting a total of 95% of their constituents vote. As of one week ago Gonnenberg had a 5% lead in the polls but he has seen that lead shrink to wear now its 48% for Gonnenberg to only 47% for Klasmy.

In the other big pary election the Tashmovitz Party has a tight race going between Amit Mickwe, Thomas Walt and Piece of Wood. This is the Tashomvitz Party's first contested election. Every election up till now they have had an innanamate object run for Prime Minister. With this being a contested the parties leaders have decided to actually have humans run for the first time. This however has not sat well with many of the party's rank and file which have had 3 innamate objects in the running to be the party's leader. While one of the innamate objects, a book cover, decided to withdraw from the race, the other two objects a Shoelace and Piece of Wood are still there and many believe that they can throw the race either way. As of yesterday the polls had Mickwe with 30%, Walt with 30%, The Piece of Wood with 27%, and 12% with the Shoelace.

In the other parties primaries, the Eagle party has finished their primaries with Kent Wintern being their candidate. The Telan party has one man, Marcos Malen, running unopposed. As usual the Jewism party just had Rabbi Schlomo Mital, running for the position of Prime Minister. Conservative Milchama has 5 candidates running none with over 22% of the vote and none with less then 18%. The Warrior Party, which had faded in recent elections after getting a high of 23 people 16 years ago, now looks to make a revival under Barney Keller who is also running unopposed. The results for the elections will be here tommorow under the title, Dewey Beats Truman.

To: The Government of Milchama

We will help your nation, but only if you join The Northern Sushi Commonwealth Union Society. We will offer military protection and advice, but you will be required to trade some goods with our nation, and citizens must add on a small .25% sales tax to all items under $75. The nation must tell the NSDIA of all binding decisions prior to making them and all non-binding decisions after. The nation would have to recognize itself as a Protectorate of Northern Sushi also. You will be able to create your own internal laws, and will be able to have an unrevokeable embassy in Northern Sushi.

The Northern Sushi Dept. of International Affairs (NSDIA)

MILCHAMA, SUNDAY - IDOC personnel have entered Milchama and begun work after acceptance of their observation of the elective process in that state. IDOC, the Iluvauromeni Democratic Observers Corps, is an independent organisation that was set up seventy years ago by disgruntled Commonwealth of Ma-tek citizens. The old Commonwealth of course never accepted their validity, but the Commonality Unified Government often receives - and engages in debate on - various suggestions made by IDOC.

The IDOC personnel were flown in on old DX-13 double-prop aircraft supplied for free by Rivette, and arrived early Sunday morning. Sally Dezhvi-Rihad told INN Solar: "First impressions are that this is a country."

IDOC refused to give any further statement beyond insisting that it's failure to do so was intended as a "display of neutrality and reassurance to the Milchaman People."

~ excerpt taken from Nenya Today electronic broadsheet (original story source: INA [Iluvauromeni News Association])

[OOC: If you have anything in particular you want them to find out or scenes for more character-based roleplay in mind, drop me a telegram so we can discuss it. :)]

To: The Government of Milchama

We will help your nation, but only if you join The Northern Sushi Commonwealth Union Society. We will offer military protection and advice, but you will be required to trade some goods with our nation, and citizens must add on a small .25% sales tax to all items under $75. The nation must tell the NSDIA of all binding decisions prior to making them and all non-binding decisions after. The nation would have to recognize itself as a Protectorate of Northern Sushi also. You will be able to create your own internal laws, and will be able to have an unrevokeable embassy in Northern Sushi.

The Northern Sushi Dept. of International Affairs (NSDIA)

Help, What Help! We don't need any help, espiecially, if we are just going to be the colony of some other pathetic country! We soundly reject your offer and say, Milchama LeOlam!

Acting Prime Minister Eli Gohel

This was a nerve racking time for him. Sure Eli Gohel knew he was going to win the primary, he had no doubts about that. Everybody and his brother showed him his overwhelming lead in the polls. The highest numbers had him at 70% while the lowest had him at "mere" 62%.

Gohel though had more worries, he was worried about the election afterward. He still did not understand what Horowitz did to win it. Every poll had Fearlen winning, everybody thought Horowitz's bid would fail but he won. The Communist party was still strong, both Tim Gonnenberg and Steve Klasmy were capable leaders. He also knew that they had learned from last time. Gohel expected a bigger fight, and even more problems. Now came an important decision for him, what should he do with his headstart. Should he a) start the smear campaign, b) start the Liam Horowitz was the greatest Milchamian leader ever, but he never saw his goals thru c) form the Limad paramilitary group. Or should he perm (do both) those choices. He wasn't sure yet but he knew that he could not do c yet, so it came down to a and b.

Gohel then called in his advisor. The advisor, Mr. Jerry Fullmer, came in and sat down. Gohel then told him what he thought his only options were and Fullmer added to them he said that Gohel could also d) Talk about his political service for Milchama e) talk about how communism would not work in these times. After a time (about an hour), they had made their decision. The first commercial would be a perm of b and d. Then a new question arose, what's the best way to expose these things to the public...

Tel Morlin Dispatch-Moon-Telegram-Update-Sun-Star-Picayune-Times

Front Page

Gohel, Gonnenberg, Walt sweep thru primaries

The primaries for the Milchamian Prime Minister are over. There were winners and there were losers. Some of the winners were expected and some not. The big winners in the primaries were Tim Gonnenberg and Thomas Walt, who both went thru pretty heated primaries to get the seats they needed. Eli Gohel, on the other hand, romped thru his primary garnering, by some estimates, over 65% of the vote in the Limad party.

The other primaries though were much more interesting. In the Communist International primary, Tim Gonnenberg squandered a 5 percentage point lead to Steve Klasmy, to where he was ahead in most polls by 1% if ahead at all. In the end, apparently, Gonnenberg did enough to win as Klasmy declared defeat at 1:30 a.m. this morning. There is still more to be decided though as despite early gains from Gonnenberg in the south and west. Since the evening though Klasmy has made substantial gains all around, culminating with his overwhelming support in Port James in the far east. Further results may indicate a change but for right now, Tim Gonnenberg is the candidate for the Communist International Party.

The most anticipated, and most constested primary, was the Tashmovitz Party primary. This party had seen 3 things (I can't call a piece of wood human) with a legitimate chance of winning the primary. Amit Mickwe and Thomas Walt were neck and neck, according to polls, coming into today with a Piece of Wood being only 3% and gaining fast since the Shoelace decided to withdraw from the race. The majority of the Shoelace's 12% has gone with the Piece of Wood and it looked like, for a while, in the mid-afternoon that the Piece of Wood had won the race. But, unfortunately for the Wood, Thomas Walt had also garnered up a substantial of the Shoelace's supporters and had rallied under the slogan, "Its time for a human to lead." Most have found this slogan very appealing and now with the incumbent (the Shoelace) out of the way many voted for Walt. Amit Mickwe withdrew himself from consideration at about 11 p.m. and asked for his supporters to support Walt in the race. If Mickwe garners enough percent of the vote their could be a run off election to be held next week. Many expect Walt to win the run off if he does not win this primary.

Something else worth reporting on during primary day was the closeness of the race being run in the Conservative Milchama Party. The small Conservative Milchama party, which is on the far right of Milchamian politics (about as far left as the Democrats in the U.S.), had the closest of all the parties in their primaries. As of yesterday they had 5 candidates who were all within 4 percentage points of each other. The leader of the 5, Johnson Thomasson, fared poorer then expected today as the other leading candidate, Keith Essaslall, made some gains last night after a couple of riveting speeches about how the military is not being used effectively today. This speech, one of the most memorable so far in the election campaign, has been used by Essaslall to make up for lagging at the polls. As of our printing, Essaslall leads Thomasson but only by about 100 votes.

We promise to have the true winners, losers and interviews by tommorow.

The wide boulevards surrounding imposing Hall of the People's Council were thronged with activists, vying for the attention of the crowd at large with shouted slogans and homemade signs or flags while simultaneously seeking paths to the Hall's collonaded, white marble facade. The vast majority of the Council's meetings were open to the public, and there was never a shortage of strong-willed and opinionated Obdurans competing to squeeze into the Council Chamber and cry out their demands. Of course, the present Councillors, having endured dozens of sessions already for the current term, had largely schooled themselves to endure the raucousness stoically and keep their thoughts on official Council business.

The Chamber itself was immense, a public gallery surrounding descending rows of seats, one thousand in all, arranged to encircle a single podium. The vaulted cieling was brilliantly painted to depict scenes of the glorious victories of the Revolutions and past triumphs of comrades in Catalonia, Stalingrad, and a half-dozen other battlefields. The wall was hung with the red, black, and golden banners of the many union militias and other volunteer units that had fought to overthrow fascism in Obdura.

John Stuart Owen, Chairman of both the Communist Party of Obdura and the People's Council, was cheerful and confident. It showed plainly in his carriage and his voice as he mounted the steps to the central podium and addressed the Councillors:

"By the will of the people of Obdura, the 152nd session of the People's Council is hereby called to order."

The economy was improving rapidly, crime was all but non-existant, the people were happy, free, and equal, all educated and supported in every need, each by the work of all the others. The dream of the Revolutions was coming true. After the opportunity to make free statements was offered and passed over, Owen removed the first sheet of a the sheaf of paper before him and symbolically held it above his head and turned to face each Councillor, "displaying" it for all to see even though none could have read it at such distance. Of course, each possessed his or her own copy.

"The first matter at hand is the proposed act by Councillor Zhukov of Jefferson, which addresses the upcoming elections in Milchama."

If there was anything vexing Owen, it was the knowledge that the majority of the world's workers were still bound as wage-slaves, whether their chains were guilded or of base iron, and that there was so little to be done.

"If approved, this act will authorize the expenditure of 250 million credits for the purpose of supporting the Communist International Party of Milchama, and also the delivery of other forms of aid, such as direct assistance in the dissemination of political literature." ... not to forget military advisors and materiel, if that should become necessary. Milchama's elections had historically been ... chaotic.

Of course there were objections, especially over the non-monetary aid clauses, but Owen had pushed hard for this and had ensured the support nearly the entire Communist Party, enough for a quorum. At least we have a chance, Owen mused as the votes were tallied, after all these years, to be true friends to our comrades who lack the strength to win their freedom alone.

Esteemed Comrade Tim Gonnenberg of the Communist International Party of Milchama:

The people of Obdura, who have not so long ago succeeded in a long and bloody struggle to shatter the bonds of capitalist oppression that held them in poverty and subservience, are firmly resolved to ensure that our dear comrades in Milchama's Communist International Party and elsewhere may similarly triumph over the exploitive and tyrannical bourgeoisie, who care nothing for justice, equality, and freedom, and who suppress all love and compassion in their hearts to blindly seek profit above all else in all matters. To this end, the People's Council of Obdura, voice and arm of the Obduran proletariat, has authorized financial aid to your party totalling 250 million Obduran credits, given freely and without condition to be spent in whatever manner you feel will most benefit your campaign. In addition, Obdura stands ready to deliver other forms of assistance should you require; simply contact our Secretariat of Foreign Affairs with any requests. We cannot overstate our desire to see your party victorious in your nation's upcoming elections and must impress upon you that we do this only out of our absolute conviction that international socialism is the only just social order, and must emerge as the pre-eminent socio-economic system in every nation and for every people. We most fervently wish you a swift and sure victory, beloved comrades of Milchama!

Emma Reed (Communist Party of Obdura)
First Secretary of Foreign Affairs
People's Republic of Obdura

Tim Gonnenberg could not believe the telegram he just got. An entire country had just given him 250 million credits. Obdura, whoever they were, were clearly the greatest that had happened to the Communist International since Tal Fearlen died back in 150 A.C.

Gonnenberg now knew what the strategy was, pump the Obdurans for as much money as possible. They had to have weapons, money, and a support for communism which he had rarely seen before, even among communist countries.

Now Gonnenberg asked his aides to check the background of who Obdura were, and how much 250 million credits were actually worth. The report was not good, "217.5799 credits = $1" which means that it was worth about 217.45 credits to the bob. Well at least they have weapons Gonnenberg thought, and typed his telegram:

To:Emma Reed and the Government of Obdura,
Dear Sirs (and Madams),
OOC: All things in parathases are not to be read by the Government of Obdura its just Gonnenberg's thoughts while writing the telegram.

The Communist International Party of Milchama greatly thanks you for helping us win our bloody struggle against the Capatalists that has so plagued Milchama. (What Capatalist oppression? Milchama has always been at least socialist at least until recently) While we have tried and tried to win this struggle, our own support has not been enough. This support from our esteemed shall not be wasted and soon another Communist leader will rise to be the King/Emperor/President/Prime Minister of Milchama.

Sincerely,
Tim Gonnenberg, Communist International Party candidate for Prime Minister of Milchama and current Conesset member.

P.S. Can you please keep your support of our party as quiet as possible. If other parties know we are getting support from a whole government then they will try to start aligning themselves with other countries. Thank you in advance.

OOC: I apologize that the "NS Economy" site hasn't been working for me, so I didn't know what "objective" value the Obduran credit would have, but I intended it to equal the dollar for the sake of convenience. Since Obdura's economy is controlled anyway, the value of the credit can be set to whatever the government wants it to be domestically; in this sense and others it's a weird currency. It's used only for luxury goods, everything else being provided freely, and everyone is allocated the same number each month. How many are given and how much luxuries that may be purchased with them cost is entirely up to the People's Council. I don't know how the heck this would work in terms of international exchange rates; I guess whatever tool you used is as good a guide as any.

At any rate, consider the Communist International Party to have recieved the equivalent of 250 million U.S. dollars, however many credits that is; that was my intention.

As to the "capitalist oppression" remarks, I wasn't referring to Milchama's history or anything, just the fact that capitalism is inherently oppressive and I assume that the Communist International Party struggles against it. There is a threat in that a government which supports capitalist policies may come to power in Milchama, if I understand correctly.

IC:

Esteemed Comrade Tim Gonnenberg:

The people of Obdura wish to assure you that you are most welcome for our support and that we shall ever be true and faithful friends to all the workers of the world fighting to secure their freedom from detestable wage-slavery.

We have stated that our aid was given without condition, and this is the absolute truth, yet Obdura and it's people have always stood staunchly for democracy and we express our hope that, should you be successful--for the sake of social justice and economic freedom, may it be so!--you will foster a representative system of government in your home nation. We must confess your comments regarding "kings" and "emperors" give us some pause, but we may discuss this in more detail in the future.

At any rate, you may rest with complete assurance that Obdura will do all in it's power to guarantee your victory, and you need only speak the word if you wish for us to provide more funding or other forms of support. (OOC: This is a *wink *wink to Comrade Gonnenberg about requesting weapons and such, but Obdura can hardly just drop off crates of rifles without him asking and assisting in smuggling them into Milchama).

Of course we will be discreet in our dealings and take all necessary steps to maintain secrecy in these matters, as per your wishes.

Until we speak again, maintain your fight with conviction and pure motive, and know that you have real friends in the people of Obdura, your devoted comrades!

Emma Reed (Communist Party of Obdura)
First Secretary of Foreign Affairs
People's Republic of Obdura

Tel Morlin Dispatch-Moon-Telegram-Update-Sun-Star-Picayune-Times

Front Page

Ten die in riots in Alexandria

The Milchamian election has finally started to heat up today, after weeks of quiet. Since the primaries the election front had been unusually quiet as the parties seemed to just be getting everything in order to make a run. The first political rallies for parties came only yesterday as a start to the Limad election campaign. The Limad party had been the first to figure out their strategy, and according to party head Eli Gohel, "This campaign will not involve any violence, this campaign to be about media attention and commercials."

Unfortunately for Gohel's lefty promises, yesterday's rally at the Hannibal Square, did nothing to keep his promises. While Gohel was not personally at the rally, his supporters in the Limad party including his number two Marcus Weesh. Weesh and his counter Tanner Miller, stirred the crowd into a friendzied state until one of them yelled Leh Olamut Communism. This brought the frenzied crowd into the streets and the political rally turned into a riot. The rioting Limaders ran thru the streets yelling slogans and beating up anyone who was not a Limad supporter. The Milchamian army stepped in but they could do little as the rioting Limaders merely ran over them. In the stampede five soldiers died and 22 were injured (All casualties are on page 3). The stampeding Limaders then went to the homes of known "dissenters" but before they could do serious they were finally brought to heel by as the police opened up and shot them with rubber bullets. The bullets caused the injuries of over 70 people, then the police threw tear gas and pepper spray into the crowd. This stopped the riot, but not before the death of 10 people and over 150 injuries.

Some people have called this the beginning of the Milchamian election campaign. The Communist International has said that it will hold a rally for its supporters, tommorow in Swooton. A similar riot is expected and the army and police force have been put in full alert. Aren't Milchamian elections great?

Tel Morlin Dispatch-Moon-Telegram-Update-Sun-Star-Picayune-Times

Front Page

12 Arrested at Communist Internation rally

The Communist International party held its celebratory rally today in Swooton. The supposedly peaceful rally was supposed to introduce Tim Gonnenberg as the new official leader of the Communist International party. The rally, of course, was actually a way to get back at the Limad for their rally turned riot yesterday in Alexandria.

This rally started peaceful as the first few speakers only made crazy exaggerated speeches about how great Gonnenberg was. Then Martin Chaler got up to speak. Chaler gave one of the finest speeches in Milchamian election history (full speech on page 17). This speech energized the crowd espiecially lines like this, "What have they given you, that we can't give you? What have they given you that has helped you? All they have done is opressed you. Come to our side and we will give you more than you can ever have dreamed for." Then Tim Gonnenberg got up to speak. His speech shot the crowd into the streets. Unfortunately, for the crowd, the police were there and stopped them before the rally could become a riot. During the fighting though twelve men pulled out guns, including 2 sub maching guns, and were arrested by police. There were no casualties during the rally.

Bloco'yce City, Raging Penguins
10:42 AM
Presidential Office

Phether Tuks sat in his Presidential Leather Recliner, practicing his Presidential Signature. He used his Presidential Pen, which strongly resembled a cheap Bic pen, and lasted about the same amount of time. Despite this similarity to the cheap writing utensil, the pen Phether Tuks was writing with was a step up in the world of pens, because Phether Tuks had named it the official Presidential Pen. There had been twelve Presidential Pens which preceded this one, and the Presidential Pen felt proud about the fact that someday it, too, would join them in the Presidential Wastebasket.

As Phether Tuks scribbled away at his Presidential Notepad, occasionally shifting his Presidential Bathrobe to a more comfortable position, someone rapped on the Presidential Door, and entered cautiously. Two distinguished looking Penguins entered, their feathers having been custom-shined at an expensive groomery. Behind them, a rather disheveled man, wearing a threadbare business suit and faded dress pants entered and closed the door.
Phether Tuks indicated toward the two Presidential Guest Chairs, and stood up. He grabbed a Presidential Kleenex and blew his nose loudly, as the Penguins shuffled towards his desk.

"What may I do for you, gentlebirds? Is it another one of those pesky law thingies those stuffy Representitives come up with? I have to deal with so many of those things, and it really takes time away from governing a country. What do they think I'm made of? Spare time? Or Presidential Spare Ti-"

"Squark", said the smaller of the two penguins, "Squerark squar squweeeerky Squaawrk."

"Elections in another counrty?", responded Tuks, "I thought I had outlawed elections..."

"Squarka ka-squaarky-Squark", the penguin informed him.

"Oh, I thought it applied to everyone, not just us. Well, I suppose you learn something everyday, eh?"

This time, the larger of the two Penguins, a high-ranking member of the Commerce Department, spoke up. "Squeeark, squawrk squar squaaw-aak. Squaarerearky-squarkee."

Phether Tuks looked puzzled. He hadn't known that The Shoelace, who owned an expansive villa in southern Raging Penguins, was a representitive of a political party in some Country which sounded pretty foriegn.
"The Shoelace is from another country? I know that it had a funny accent, but I didn't think it was from some other place. Odd, that."

"Mr. Tuks, I think we're getting off topic, here. The reason that we've come to you is because Milchama supplies us with those extremely controversial political prisoners, which are in demand around here. Plus, they are the leading importer of smelly ice-cubes, which is, as you know, our main industry and we can't afford to lose another trading partner", said the harried little man behind the penguins, "If some sane politician gets the position, we may very well be cut off from them."

Phether Tuks scratched his nose, which meant that he was deep in thought. Eventually, he came to a decision. "I'll have pasta for supper", he announced, "And have the cook make some of that excellent garlic bread.
And then tell the Foriegn Embassy Ambassador Advisor person to support the Eagle party, and as a gesture of negotiable will, send their main man a secure crate of well-bred Raging Penguins, the angry kind. I've heard that they have some really beautiful riots over there, and I'm sure they'll put them to good use. And then tell the Ambassadorish Foriegn Advisor Embassy guy to send fifty-two million Curses to the Tashmovitz Party, preferably that nice Piece of Wood, if it's still in the running...Oh, and a couple shipments of those flamethrowers we have...
Secretly, of course."

And the proper arrangements were made, the messages sent, the Angrily-bred Raging Penguins packaged, the Curses wired, and the Flamethrowers shipped.

Phether Tuks went back to practicing his signature, until his Presidential Pen ran out of ink, and joined its predecessors in the Presidential Wastebasket.

[OOC: 2.0768 Curses = $1 - 2.1450 bobs = $1]

Tel Morlin Dispatch-Moon-Telegram-Update-Sun-Star-Picayune-Times


Front Page


Eagle and Telan form together create paramilitary group


The Eagle and Telan parties made the first big move of the entire Milchamian election campaign today as they decided to team up and form their own Eagle/Telan paramilitary group. This came as a suprise to most election experts because they did not expect the Eagle and Telan parties to team up to get more seats. These two new parties were expected to each get about 1 to 2 seats in the Conneset and create a ground base from which to use in further elections.

This new party calling itself the Great Eagle party will be led by Marcos Malen. This party, the now right of center party, has made the first violent moves in the election as they have used their paramilitary to stir up the country against things Liam Horowitz had done, such as freedom for Collonie. This group, calling itself the Talons, is supposed to strike Swooton first. The Communist International party is forming its own military group, the Reds, and have already purchased enough weapons for 50,000 people. Tim Gonnenberg has refused to comment on where this extra money has come from but he said it is a "reliable source."

OOC: This is a just the copy of my post from my unsuccessful attempt to start a new forum in Int. Incidents. Since Raging Penguins posted here lets continue the elections on the NS forum.