NationStates Jolt Archive

Semirhage News Network-

Anchor: "Good evening, in today's top story scandal of a most bizzare sort has caused quiet a bit of shock among the old guard of the Senate."



Anchor: Senator Bryce Braken of the Semirhage Pride Party (a dying Neo-Con group) had this to say, "This is a total disgrace to the office of Prime Designate and to the ENTIRE Republic! Ms. Moss must apologies now!!"

But Senator Penelope Rose of the Green Party (Eco-Liberals) countered, "Aren't we taking this too far? I mean the Madame Designate was JUST elected and his is only 25 for godsake! She is SUPPOSED to be out on the town every ONCE and a while!"

And a insta-poll shows that over 97% of all Semirhagians feel that this shouldn't count as a scandal and only 3% were shocked at all.

Now for a commercial break!


Prime Designate Sophia Moss
The Most Serene Republic of Semirhage
Favorite Quote- [I]“Revolution is not a tea party… Revolution is the violent overthrow of one social class by another.” Chairman Mao tse-tung

Good evening and welcome to Heaven News, your one and only source for International Information in the land. I am Ken Wilder, of the International Information Control Bureau.

The Holy Emperor Cyanide as declared today, in response to the current scandal in the Republic of Semirhage, that such behaviour would have passed unoticed... if the unknown man the Prime Designate was found to be with was not Arthur Von Einteer, notorious underworld kingpin and international weapon smuggling king.

While Miss Moss has all the rights to go out and have a good time every once in a while, the Emperor believes that contact with such characters could lead to international disputes.

In other news...

"Good evening, this is the APB (Amestria Public Broadcasting).

Today in Semirhage, Prime Designate Sophia Moss is in trouble due to an alleged relationship with international criminal/arms dealer Arthur Von Einteer, but more on that later.

Our top story is that the notorious confidence man and drug dealer Richard C. Dean, wanted for involvement in several international pyramid schemes, has at last been identified by law enforcement. He is this man, Ken Wilder of Heaven News. No one knows yet how Mr. Wilder, aka Richard Dean, was able to get such a high-ranking position at the International Information Control Bureau, but authorities promise to find out. The Ministry of Justice has demanded that Mr. Widler be deported to stand trial in Amestria on 12 separate counts of fraud and 3 counts of illegal drug smuggling. We will be bringing you more on this story as it develops.

Our next top story, tensions continued to rise in Palatius today as…"

(All the mass medias of Heaven Gate (which means the 2 TV channels, 3 radiod stations and the only journal) feature a announce from Emperor Cyanide today.)

The vile traitor Ken Wilder, aka Richard Caron Dean, was executed today, as well as his familly and direct relative, for corruption and fake identity. All the people who recommended Mister Wilder to the Ministry of Information Control were investigated and found guilty of supporting a traitor to the state, leading to their Reinsertion in Society.

Minister Hu Zhang Du is still on the run, and is believed to have left the region.

A reminder to all the citizens. Treachery and corruption will not be tolerated in Heaven Gate.

Sandwiched between reports of revolutions, wars, and international treachery, the newscaster from LCTV-Czarna begins to speak in her slightly nasal, utterly emotionless, and intensely annoying voice, making everyone who happens to be watching that particular channel highly displeased or irritated. Many of them are far too bored or lazy to change the channel, however, so they are stuck here listening to the special report.

"Hello, this is LCTV-Czarna with a special report. Prime Designate Sophia Moss of Semirhage has been accused of corruption and an illicit relationship with an unknown man." The images that caused a conspicuous lack of controversy are displayed. "Opinion in Czardas has been divided over what to do about this."

The scene cuts to a large square somewhere in Czardas, in a city. Two large clumps of people are protesting, Czardaians' favored activity. Waving placards, blocking traffic (thousands of horns are honking per minute), and generally yelling their viewpoints to the sky, they are confronted by the newscaster.

"First let's hear from the Vegetable Liberation Front," she says, angling the microphone towards one group.

"We demand that whoever decided this was a scandal should be hanged!" yells the leader, who is dressed generically in nothing at all and wearing a large derby hat over his completely bald head.

"Next, word from the Capitalist Revolutionary Party." She turns to the other group.

"Hanged?! You idiots! They should be shot!" The leader of the other group, who is wearing full naval regalia and a pinwheel hat, brandishes her fist.

The two rival protesting groups break into a fistfight as the newscaster shuts off the cameras. Several moments later, they click back on inside a Holy Church of the Order of the Undead Tiger Moth.

"However, the attitude of most Czardaians towards this is represented by the viewpoint held by Mr. Samuel Trax," she points the microphone at a young man who appears to be busily flaying somebody else with the hide of a rather large porcupine, dressed in animal skins with a crown of thorns around his head.

He looks up, confused. "Whah?"

Back at the studio, the newscaster continues. "Based on this incident, arguments have broken out once again as to what exactly a scandal is. The general consensus appears to be that a scandal is what happens when tomatoes cost $3.99 a pound at the local supermarket. However, this news story was in no way important and only 7 million members of Czardas's population actually knew what it was about.

"In other news..."