NationStates Jolt Archive

Slyde Tech Industries
Home of GrungeGirls.com
1300 Hours

A red bug pulled into the parking lot of Slyde Tech Industries. A few people groaned and shock their heads as a young blond haired man stepped out, leading an all white basset hound out with him. The man had tied a bright striped towel around his neck like a cape and wore a pair of blue and yellow Hawaiian swing trunks. There was a large “CP” emblazoned on his chest. The dog pawed uncomfortably at the blue mask and cape that have been put on him.

“I came as soon as I heard,” the man said, hurrying up to a group of officers. “What seems to be the trouble?”

“Oh, thank goodness you’re here, Captain Pasty,” A detective replied, voice dripping with sarcasm. “We were just talking about you.” A smirk traveled around the group of policemen. Captain Pasty didn’t notice.

“So, what happened?”

“Well, in case you hadn’t noticed, an entire side of the building’s been blown off.” The look on Captain Pasty’s face suggested he had not noticed.

“Woah! Anything stolen?”

“Only every piece of server equipment. This place runs one of the biggest adult entertainment sites in the state. Hundreds of people use it and now, without their servers, they can’t get it up.”

“Ah,” Captain Pasty smiled and winked. “I get it.”

“I meant the site. They can’t get the site up.”

“Oh.” After a few moments of awkward silence, Captain Pasty realized his dog was sniffing something in a nearby trash can. “What did you find, Dunder Dog? A bone? There’s still some meat on it...” He sniffed it, gingerly. “It smells like Mongol. This can only mean one thing. Quick, Dunder Dog, to the Pastymobile!” The basset gave a reproachful look as he was dragged back to the car. As they got in, an officer called out.

“Hey! I thought the League was disbanded!”

“Of course not. The other members are just... uhh... Anyway, TO THE LEAGUE HEADQUARTERS!” and he drove off.

-----------------------------------------------

League HQ
Aka: Mom’s Basement
1400 Hours

Josh paced worriedly about the cement room. All around him, comfy chairs and a large table had been arranged into a command center. On the walls hung pictures of former members of the League of Special Individuals.

Oh, what to do? The League had practically been disbanded. Here was a picture of Toon Lad and Squirly Girl, one had join the circus and the other had run off to God knows where. There was The Southerner, he had moved back to Texas to spend move time with his sister/wife/niece. The Mac Avenger was still incarcerated for his assault on Bill Gates and The Incredible Bulk had flat out refused to stay in the League after his fourth stomach pumping. Last, there was Duct Tape Girl, too swamped with school work to “play heroine” anymore.

Finally, he turned to the Conch Of Justice: the shell-call that had once brought the League together. Suddenly, Josh got an idea and, retying his towel, he grabbed the shell.

“Perhaps the old League is gone, but there must still be those who will come to the world’s aid.” He rushed to an open window and put the Conch Of Justice to his lips. It made a sound not unlike a dying water buffalo.

“LEAGUE OF SPECIAL INDIVIDUALS ASSEMBLE!!”

ooc: Everyone should now post an intro for their heroes. I’ll get the villain intros going tomorrow.

Somewhere in another basement-

Alex was working to get that darned laser working again. It seemed that using low-cost ex-Soviet technology was not the best option. As it was, he had been saddled with the stuff after an ill-advised eBay purchase from what turned out to be a crazy Russian nuclear scientist who was fond of zombie flicks. Now, he was sweating bullets....

"Dang, if the diode isn't working by tomorrow, I'll miss P.O.S.T.....damn......" he said to himself. P.O.S.T was his favorite anime show. It came on once a week. As it was, he often missed it. Stupid laser.

He then clicked the instrument in, and the laser roared to life, firing a beam and burning a hole in one of his anime wall scrolls. "Crap!" he yelled. "There goes $20."

He then heard the Conch....he felt the urge to fight evil. The urge that had consumed him since he first got the laser, since he first saw P.O.S.T. He opened a box, and put on a worn Power Rangers Costume, and strapped on the power pack for the laser to his back. Grabbing the laser, he ran outside, and got on his BMX of Justice and began moving.....

In the relatively calm city of Ankh-Morpork, in the Dominion of Khan Merrick, sat, well, Khan. Albeit he was ruling a nation, had lived many glorious years as a sexy pilliaging pirate who had finally found, with the aide of his allies, the mythical BOOTAY(Of the Sea), Khan was frustrated. He could not reach a jar of cookies on the highest shelf of his kitchen.

Ok, seriously, w...t...f... I cannot reach these cookies. Wait, if i can't reach them, how'd they get up there?

While he pondered this question, he suddenly started to think about maybe, for once ruling his nation. That thought did NOT last long.

Craps, have I lost my abilities as the one who can reach other things no one else can?

Never!

Always up to the challenge, Khan prepared to summon a spell.

Now, as you may have noticed, Khan is a very forgetfully and ADDariffic person. That, however, is NOT the type of person you want to be while casting a spell.

Thus, as Khan began casting a spell to retreive his most definitally awesome cookies he suddenly realized he had forgotten milk. In the slip second that followed, kittens came to mind...

When he awoke the cookie jar was on his head, loud mewing sounds were surrounding him.

Oh yea, and he couldn't see anything.

"Uhhhhhhhhh DURRRRR"

yelled khan as he bashed his head against the table to break the jar. Now, whether he had given himself a concussion... ooor not, his house appeared to have been overrun by snow white kittens...
snow white kittens RAPPED IN BACON AND ON FIRE!!!


wait no, those were the ninja's, never mind...

BUT THERE WERE KITTENS!!! And they were probably up to no good. Foolishly Khan decided to cast another spell to send these evil kittens back to their home dimension, as he did this he suddenly wonder what white long hair would look like.

*Poof* (Or some other magical noise)

The doom kitties were gone, but suddenly he had really long white hair, that for some odd reason smelt like kitty litter....

Oh well...

thought Khan

Before he could endanger himself anymore he suddenly heard a loud bellowing noise.

Sweet, someone is blowing a horn, wait, summoning a Legue of Special Individuals, wait... 2+2, carry the 4, THAT'S ME!!!

he exclaimed

Teleport!

And thus Khan teleported to the lair of the Legue of Special Individuals.

(Historical Note, it was not in fact the horn he heard, but in fact the angry roar of a million doom kitties storming his manor. Due to the improbability of Khan's random mind, mixed with the improbability of doom kittens, he was coincidentally able to make up his own message.

He was right...

That makes it once in a row...)

Robert Covington Blood the Third tried to dismiss the mother from hell, but it didn't work... begrudgingly he laid his hands on the demon child, this whiny little brat came to service every sunday, if only to cry through the entire thing. As he absentmindedly mutter the blessing, thinking to himself how great it will be when this child burns in hell, it was then that he heard it. The low rumbling began near the organ to his left, and approached the alter. While none of the congregation seemed affected, he knew that call... a conch shell... The Conch of Justice! The urge to answer it finally overwhelmed him. Quickly he came to his senses, with five minutes left in the service there were only two ways to make that meeting within a reasonable time. The first was a driver he had used before, young kid led astray by the thoughts of others. The second was a horse... a horse named Hidalgo. In a fluid motion, he raised his right hand to cross the demon child, quickly dropping his left to his cell phone. The Txt message to Jeph was recieved, and Robert wrapped up his service with a final prayer.
Forgoing the usual "meet and greet" with the congregation, Robert quickly stuffed his hat, a few ping pong paddles, and several other supplies into a backpack and rushed out the front door, just as a Plymouth Neon pulled up.
Robert climbed in, and gave Jeph a general idea where he needed to go. the car peeled out in reverse, immediately whiping around and turned left onto a small alleyway.
As Jeph skidded out of the alleyway, Robert suddenly realized how close he was, this kid was amazing. Suddenly, hafway through the turn, while weaving in and out of oncoming traffic the kid gave a blood curdling scream clutching the left side of his abdomen. Robert donned his hat and grabbed his paddles, but the door was locked from the inside, giving no pause for his own life, he prayed to God only for the safety of the other members of the League. The only sound he could hear for those last few moments was "SPLEEEEEEEEEEEN" which was muffled by a deafening explosion.

Nathaniel Edmunds had seen a lot working as an EMT in this city, but the first look at these two charred bodies made his stomach turn. As his pimple-faced colleague rushed ahead with a defribulator, Nathaniel wuickly grabbed the new recruit by the shoulder. "No, Aaron, there is nothing that machine can do for them now. There are only two things in the world that can save these men. The first is a complete and unconditional apology from the Imperialistic Isolationists of Demoracary. The second is a horse, a horse named Hidalgo."

OOC: Sorry to do this to you guys so early, but recent events have forced me to question my ability to role play online. It turns out I would have probably been more of a nuisance anyways.

Somewhere in the attic of Entertainment Movie Theatres screen 5
1354 Hours

a lone silent do-gooder sits at a desk trying to unsplice single porn clips from childrens movies that a no doubt baddy put there. at the same time, he trys to keep his army of elves alive against the overwhelming orc army in Midevil Kingdoms VI game on his laptop.

"Damn, they took out my summoner!"

the phone on the wall rings. it's his boss.

"Cael! are you on crack?! why aren't you done with fixing that movie yet?"

"Sorry boss, my elves are being massecred."

"GET BACK TO WORK, CRACKHEAD!"

sighing, cael hangs up the phone. i can do this faster, he thinks. he pulls his trusty piece of chalk out of his pocket and starts to draw on the desktop. when he's done with his circle he places the film in the middle of the circle and lays his hand on the edge. concentrating on trying to pull just the porn clip from the movie, he initiates the reaction.

*poof*

"um.... uh-oh..."

it appears cael has just turned the children's movie The Purple Dinosaur Dance-Dance Revolution into Bearly Legal 69.

"...oops"

then he hears the conch.

cael stands up. "the call to justice! Sir Swordsman to arms!" he then starts to run his hands over the wall. "oh, come on! where the hell did i leave that damn thing?!"

after about 5 minutes of searching he finds it: his patented hole in the wall (c). after changing into his costume, he jumps through the hole and into the LoSI HQ.

*In a dark basement*

"Oh gods, what the hell was that?" Said Khan as he woke from a deep sleep. He didn't remember a thing, however he though he remembered a dream involving doom kittens, and magic? Wait, he didn't know how to do magic, and under pirate law kitties can't be associated with the word "Doom". "Great, I must've had wayyy to much rum from last night, but where the hell am I now?" though he. Khan slowely clambered out of his couch, his foot momentarily getting stuck in a spring. As he tried to walk he suddenly realized that his other foot had a boot on it. "Muh-huh?" He strode over to a mirror, the man he saw had a large scruffy beard, a pirate hat, and one boot. The other boot was convientely located in his crotch area, due to the fact that he wasn't wearing any pants. "Oooo, some one had a good night." he said with a sly smile. So yes, Khan was wearing a pirate hat, a boot, and a very piratey looking glove, however, pants and shirt were not includsed in this bargain. "Oh come on!" He looked down, "Oh, I found my eye patch too." But where were his pants, and more importantly, where the hell was he. He reversed his usual train of thought by trying to find pants first, as opposed to finding where he was, cause if where he was somehow HAD doom kitties (Despite the contradiction to pirate logic), he would most definiately need pants. A shirt wouldnt hurt either. Cause kitty claws are very sharp. Maybe he should put his "eye" patch back on too. Glancing up at the ceeling he noticed his pants, and his awesomefullness pirate shirt hanging in a very "not able to be reached by other people" kind of place. "HAHA, i so win!" said he, quickly reaching the pants and sirt from the ceeling due to his amazing power of being able to reach really hgh up places that other people pcant reach. AS he began to dress someone knocked knocked on the door...

*Enter someone else please...*

Stepping out of his patented hole in the wall (c), Sir Swordsman dusted himself off and looked around the basment that was the League's HQ.

"OMFG! why is there a three-quarters naked pirate in the HQ!"

putting one hand over his eyes and using the other to draw a circle on the wall, Sir Swordsman tries to concentrate on putting the clothes back where they belong and tries not to concentrate on what he is covering up.

*jzhoom*

cael pulls his hand away from his eyes. "ah, much better. the pink really brings out the color in your eyes."

the pirate is now fully clothed... in a pink wedding dress.

Nathaniel Edmunds sighed to himself as he lifted the body on to a strecher, a priest! But at last no salvation came to this man in the mortal plane. He walked the strecher over to the ambulance, where he saw Aaron, with the other body, his mouth agape and his finger pointing down the road. There, on top of a hill was the most spectacular sight that Nathaniel had ever seen. "Is that... it?" Aaron stuttered, still pointing towards the apparation.
"Yes Aaron, that is," Nathaniel said, hardly believing his own words, "That, my young friend, is a horse... A horse named Hidalgo!"

Robert rode off on this magnificent beast, hopping off at the source of the conch call, this was it... the house with a basement!

Josh stopped blowing on the conch and listened. There was some sort of commotion behind him. Turning around with a big grin, he began to welcome them.

“Hello, friends and- OH MY GOD!!!!!” It was a pirate. A pirate in a pink wedding dress. “NOT AGAIN!” With a shriek, Josh dropped the conch. It the floor and shattered.

It must be noted that this particular conch was a sacred relic to the mud people of Sasahcon*click click*bohadox and, by breaking it, Josh doomed the entire tribe to a life of eternal damnation. However, as Josh didn’t know this, his only thought was a mental note to try and get another one off Ebay.

“TO THE CLOSET!” Josh ran headlong into a closet for a quick costume change, emerging as Captain Pasty.

“Ah hem, let’s try that again.” Hey offered the transvestite pirate and the dysfunctional alchemist his hand. “Welcome to League Headquarters. I am Captain Pasty, leader of the League of Special Individuals."

And then, the horse came down the driveway. "Now I've seen everything... except a man eat his own head." Captian Pastey muttered.
------------------------------------------------------------------

Happy-Fun Kidland
Under New Management
1400 Hours

The Politician smiled behind his hood as he watched his minions replace the words on the front of the building. Soon, Happy-Fun Kidland would become Evil-Dark Doomland. Still smiling, he entered the building. Here, amidst the ball pits and slides, were the servers he had acquired. His minions were hooking up a new one that had just been liberated.

“Excellent.” The Politician’s voice came out high and squeaky. He quickly adjusted the knobs on his voice changer. “Excellent.” Now it was low and evil, just the way he liked it. “What is our status?”

“Well, sir, we now control over half of the internet.”

“Very good. Is that all?”

“No, sir, we’ve received reports that the League is reassembling.”

“Yes, I heard that blasted conch, too.”

“I do have some good news, sir.”

“Really? What’s that?”

“I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to-” The Politician struck the minion, decking him.

“Anyone else want to be cute?” Silence. “Good. Send out a message requesting aid from any evil-doers who think they’re good enough to work for me!”

ooc: Bring on the villains! If you haven’t brought in your hero yet, do that, too.

Jeph Hlarsohnne awoke, he was sprawled out on the pavement, all around him Firemen were running around, trying to put out a massive fire, and clean up what looked like a seven car pile-up. Jeph reconized one the cars, a 2000 Plymouth Neon, he decided it was time to get out of there before people started asking him questions he couldn't answer. Suddenly, Jeph's eyes lit up, his jaws dropped and his face was one of sudden realization... he clutched the left side of his abdomen in pain, and rushed to the nearest telephone booth, just as it started ringing. "Yes?" he asked the voice on the other line.
"Jeph, The Politician is assembling a league of Evil-Doers," The voice was cold, high-pitched, yet oddly sing-songy, "I need you to offer your services to them as a driver. Meet them at the old Happy-Fun Kidland amusement park."
"Yes." was all that Jeph could answer. He hopped into the front seat of a nearby Ambulance and sped for home, distributing medicinal goodness out the open back doors whenever he hit a bump.


Jeph entered his room and walked towards the closet. Sifting through the assorted t shirts with various band-names on them, he found what he was looking for, a lever on the back wall. He flipped it down, and the left wall of his closet opened, displaying a wide selection of turtlenecks and women's pants. Selecting a turtleneck, and a nice pair of khaki pants, Jeph reached for a pair of converse and turned his attention back to the lever. Flipping it up, this time, opened up the right wall of the closet, revealing a spiral staircase.

Jeph's Sub-Garage contained nearly two dozen black 2000 Plymouth Neons in seperate slots. Three slots were empty, his line of work was one full of losses. He hopped into the nearest car, placed a CD gingerly into the stereo system, and hit a button on the steering console. The floor above him rose slowly towards the roof, which parted to reveal the inside of his parent's garage. Another press of a button and the garage door opened, and Jeph sped off in the direction of Happy-Fun Kidland, singing along with Enya.

Darkland Fun Center


The sketchiest kid you will ever see sits behind the counter at the Darkland Fun Center arcade. with messy black hair and a black tee-shirt from Nine Inch Nails, he sits there and stares at everyone who dears enter his domain.

"that one looked at us funny."
"they will never get the presious"
"shut up, they dont want your presious, but i want their blood!"
"blood, yes, blood for the presious."
"SHUT UP! DAMNIT!"

the oddest part of this conversation was not the fact that there were two people taking part in it while only one could be seen, but rather the fact that the person holding this self conversation disapeared every time that the second voice spoke. his name was dave, and he was a schizo... who had an invisible personality.

"wait, we hears somethings."

daves cell phone was ringing. he answered it.

"Yes?"

the voice on the other end answered. "evil is calling. PICK UP THE PHONE FOO!"

*click*

dave smiles.

"It's go time."

dave vanishes. he starts to make his way towards the call of evil.

An overloaded desk...somewhere....
0200 hours

"Much...Too....EARLY!!" Mary complained breifly at the horrid amount of homework she had accrued from dooming herself to the evil powers of the IB program.. DOOMED!!! She was upset at the one second she had wasted in the complaint... Her head hurt... Her english teacher had smacked her in school the day before for being stupid and insisting that the category titles were unoriginal and needed to be changed to "weasles and badgers" Somehow, over the blaring rock music she had heard the Call of the Conch hours ago and had yet been unable to answer her duty's call. "stupid-tupid history paper...dumb history teacher on crack.." She twitched madly, flipping through her history books trying to find the obscure bit of information she needed to complete her assignment: the name of Daniel Boone's cat.... The connotation that she would even need this information again infuriated her... And why was she using such horribly big words??!?!!

Finally, flipping to page 123, paragraph 4, sentence 5.... "BLUEGRASS!!!" That one last obscure bit of information had saved her from certain peril... She lept from her desk, blowing out the midnight oil. She crept over to her bed, falling to the floor. "Oh... convenient..." She reached under her bed for the cape she thought she had put away for good and her sack of duct tape. perhaps she wasn't too busy to play heroine after all.... She only hoped she wasn't too late, She missed all the fun terribly... Dissapearing somewhere before the sunrise, toward that island in the sea that something had gone desperately wrong on...

Somewhere in the mid-Pacific-

The armored ex-Soviet missile train rode on the water like it was nothing, riding on an air cushion and guarded by angry thugs on jet skis. Once meant to carry nuclear missles, it now carried a deadlier cargo. The warlord Ghengis Khan.

Only, this Khan was different than history remembered him. Enjoying a nice bowl of noodles, he was chattering to his retainers heartily, as heartily as a man with a voice box normally reserved for smokers can. He was now, in this form, the Almighty Ghengis Tron......

"Ha ha.....yes...I remember that time. Tienstin was a nice battle...."

He then got up and said, sticking his power claw in the air:

"...BUT IT WILL NOT COMPARE TO MY NEWEST CONQUEST! MY RETAINERS, THOUGH MY BODY AND VOICE ARE POOR. MY MIND ARE NOT. I WILL HAVE MY EMPIRE!"

He then sat down, gloating over. The retainers shrugged and took it in stride, he did this often.

One of them said, "My Lord! You have a message. A man known as "The Politician" has sent a message to evil-doers of the world....he wishes to recruit them for a great crusade."

Tron then said, "He has come to the wrong man. I am no scoundrel. I am a general. A GENERAL! YOU HEAR ME! A GRAND MASTER OF STRATEGY, CHOSEN BY FATE!"

The retainer said, "Sir, do think first! One man's evil-doer is another man's genius. You sir are merely misunderstood...and even if you wanted to, history has lumped you with the evil-doer. Perhaps-"

Tron then lept up and said, "I can prove them wrong! Excellent! Thank you!"

He then said, smiling, "Yes....a chance for glory once again! This "Politician" has given me an avenue to try and regain my past glory! He will need no other scoundrels when my prowess will make them useless! Set sail for his headquarters! I wish to see him! THE MONGOL EMPIRE WILL RISE AGAIN!"

The retainer said, "Aye, sir!"

The train changed its course, and began mivng to the enemy HQ.....

ohhh nos, don't start. we already have a khan, khan merrick, no ghengis khan, change please.

OOC: Excuse me mr. Merrik, but I believe if you reference the character thread, which can be found at http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=9751601 you will find that New Dornalia's character "Ghengis Tron" existed before your Khan Merrik, therefore you should be the one who changes.
This brings me to my next point, why, on the character page was it Ghengis Tron whereas now, in the actually gameplay, it appears to be Ghengis Khan, an infinitely less funny name, and one which is certainly not original.
And my third, and last point, from now on, for the sake of simplicity, would you folks mind preceding any Out Of Character posts and commentary with the acroym OOC, thank you. I now reliquish control of this thread back to it's creators, sorry to be a bother.

OOC: Excuse me mr. Merrik, but I believe if you reference the character thread, which can be found at http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=9751601 you will find that New Dornalia's character "Ghengis Tron" existed before your Khan Merrik, therefore you should be the one who changes.
This brings me to my next point, why, on the character page was it Ghengis Tron whereas now, in the actually gameplay, it appears to be Ghengis Khan, an infinitely less funny name, and one which is certainly not original.
And my third, and last point, from now on, for the sake of simplicity, would you folks mind preceding any Out Of Character posts and commentary with the acroym OOC, thank you. I now reliquish control of this thread back to it's creators, sorry to be a bother.

OOC: I think I corrected that.....my bad. Lotta things going on, and my head is kinda full...

OOC: Apologies to all, Ghengis "Tron", sorries, lol, didn't quite erad it through, and yes you were right, he was there first. Take back my previous post, moving on...

Tyler Drake sat at his computer, bored out of his mind(and a half). He had done it all really, time and time again he had crashed millions of corporate network servers with his world renound viruses "The Shaft", "The Jiggler", "The 'Faith' plus one". Oh it was funny, he wouldve loved to see the looks on the administrators faces as their servers crashed under his mighty attacks. No, he took that one back. Due to the slightly naughty nature of his attacks that included the continual pop-upping of porno, maybe he didnt want to see the administrators faces. Shaking that last image from his mind he continued to listen to loudly awesomeness music on his computer. Bored, bored, bored. Suddenely a pop-up appeared on his computer. What? Thats not possible, he had specifically made it impenatrable. He clicked it closed, quickly logging down the IP adress, and calling up a unix command prompt. He quickly typed away, commencing a hacked ssh shell to the opposing computer. 68.64.111.0, wait a second he thought as he clicked the "Kill Command", that my adress. He slowely began to cry as his computer screen was literally "Shafted". Pulling the battery out of his comp he rebooted into single-user mode to fix the problem. First stopping the virus with a password that only he knew he was about to start up when a voice began to speak.

"Tyler, you moror"

Wtf, Tyler looked around.

"You dumbass, im yelling from your computer, this is the legue of evil, we need your help"

Tracing the message he found it located on his hard drive, and deleted it. The legue of evil, again, its always the freaking legue of something. Wait, what the hell am I doing? This is my calling!

Running into his closet he pulled out a blcak jump-suit with lightning bolts running down the side, from halloween a few years back. Ignoring the laughs of civilians on the street he blasted a few with the chain lightning that he had installed to his suit.

Yes.

Yes he did feel bad ass.

He finally had a calling, and he was going to be able to piss people off again...

Lou Tsar slowly opened his eyes. Careful not to move his head, he looked around. Good. No one was watching him that he could see. He shifted his head slightly, and looked around again. He repeated this process several times, until he was completely sure that no one was watching him. Then, slowly, he got up and wiped his back free of the dirt and grime that tends to collect when you've just spent the night unconscious in an alleyway.

And then, like a rake in the grass, it hit him. He'd had another escapade yesterday. He was coming home from work, and then ... he'd seen a mugging. Well, he'd seen it rather first-hand. Not that he was mugged, of course. And he wasn't evil enough to actually mug someone. He'd just sort of gotten involved. He saw the woman having her purse grabbed, and had rushed over to help. Unfortunately, he tripped as he was approaching the mugger, and so had head-butted the man straight in the small of the back. He winced from the memory. Then it turned out that the whole thing was an act. The woman hit him across the head with what seemed to be a frying pan, gods only knew where she got it, and then he woke up in the alley.

Lou decided that it would be best to not be here. He checked himself, and, yes, he had all of his money and valuables. . What the devil? Were they just doing that so she could practice her headbanging skills? Oh well. Time to go to work.

No. Time to go to eat. They didn't need him at work quite yet. It was a slow-paced western flick, and they didn't have too many gunfights. He could walk behind the fighters later on. For now, though, he only had one thing in mind: IHOP.

He walked over to IHOP, it being nearby and him not owning any transportation other than his signature steel-toed boots. As he walked in, sure enough, one of the cooks was swearing out a waitress.

"Excuse me? Could I get a table?" asked Lou Tsar.

The cook gave him a Look. He was obviously not in any condition to be working.

"Quien te piensas que eres? No nos gustan tu tipo de gringo. Salgas o mueres," said the cook.

"Great. I'll take two of them. And could you hurry up? I've got to get to work," said Lou.

"Chupador de pene."

"Sure, why not? One of those on the side. Sounds delicious."

While the cook had been otherwise occupied, the waitress used that time to find some spoons and tape them to her knee. Now she came back, just in time for him to turn his attention to her. He turned his attention back to her just in time to feel the blunt end of five spoons rushing to meet his groin. He made a funny face, and fell down.

"Sorry about that, sir, he's not feeling his best today. Can I take your order?" asked the waitress.

"An alligator sandwich, and make it snappy. No? Okay. Um. Just something quick, please," said Lou.

"Right you are. If you'll excuse me, you can seat yourself."

Lou sat himself at a convenient booth, and was just getting comfortable when someone came up behind him and covered his mouth with a chloroform-soaked cloth. Because of Lou's knack for being in the right place at the wrong time (or vice versa), he had developed something of an immunity to chloroform, and therefore had enough time to say "Check please, waitress" before the blackness descended.

meanwhile at the Uber villian Pub... ( The scene is set like cheers)

The morose bar exuded an ambience of failure and misery.. where once great powerful dictators shared stories with fallen meglamaniacs swapping yarns about they could have destroyed the world if it wasnt for those pesky Insurgent rebels/ kids.. or how they talked too much whilst they had the hero on a platter and somehow the hero managed to escape while they were still blabbing....

Bob henchman VIII felt right at home. he ordered a scotch on the rocks from the bar tender who wore and Eye patch and dodgy moustache for added emphasis that this was an evil pub...

Bob then slumped down on the nearest table and proceeded to drink his misery away.. " heres to failing to conquer the world yet again" he said to himself rather somberly..

he was overheard by a mysterious stranger who walked in bobs direction.......

The roof of some evil looking building :sniper:

Drogh Yannoo shivered, it was an uncharacteristically cold night to be prowling the rooftops in loose black clothing, and suddenly realized that one way to warm up would indeed be to burn a building down.... yes, that sound like great misery... she decided she would burn the building down... A small maniacal laugh left her lips as she lit a cigarette, struggling to keep it lit and taking a long drag. She was deliciously miserable. She noticed a pigeon on the roof nearby and, deciding it was too close to her, commenced trying to set it alight with her mind. It didn't work.

"CURSE YOU!!!! EVIL BIRD OF THE LIGHT! WHY WONT YOU BURN?!?!?!??" The poor bird, immediately leapt into the air, as startled pigeons often do, where it died of a sudden heart attack and fell to the ground 20 stories below, striking with the exact force of a hefty bag filled with chunky soup.

"That’s much worse..." A slow eerie grin spread across Yannoo's face and she promptly tripped on a pipe coming from the roof and falling into a puddle. Unfortunately, due to the puddle’s constant existence, the roof had rotten beneath the puddle and Yannoo also promptly fell through and into the room below.

Yannoo woke to a drowning sensation and she found herself swimming in a sea of multicolored toy balls. It occurred to her that she might die in this toy sea and relaxed for the first time in an age. She looked upward and eventually noticed that a group of several men were staring down at her bewildered and saw a sign above their head: “Happy Fun Kidland”

LoSI Headquarters

Mary climbed through the basement window down the duct tape rope and into the room below. Or, she would have if her cape had not gotten stuck on the window frame. she fell, shoulders first to the floor and resolved that she would never wear the cape again. She dusted herself off and turned to notice three men staring at her: a transvestite pirate, a swordsman, and a very pastey white boy clad in a multicolored towel. She recognized the latter immediately, though she had never seen the other two before. She met mostly confused looks, though she appeared not to notice.

She tried to poke Captain Pastey and started talking, ignoring the strangers... "Hey Captain Pastey, sorry i'm late.... stupid history teacher on crack... and i had to buy out the duct tape supply of 3 walmarts on the way... LOOK! I found CAMO!!! :D So, what has happened this time?" She sat on a table, carefully avoiding the chairs, and pulled out a roll of Duct Tape, just to prove to the company present that she indeed did have a such a marvelously ingenious creation. Finally, noticing the silences and the stares, a confused look crossed her face: "What? Did i say something?"

There was a continued moment of awkward silence until-

“MARY!” And then there was a dull thump as Captain Pasty threw himself onto his old friend. “You came? But I though you had all that work for the doing and all those crazy teachers with the beating and-” He stopped, realizing both how quickly had had been talking and how oddly everyone in the room was staring at him.

ooc: Places, people, places! Everyone get your characters to their appropriate HQ. I’d like to get the actual plot (yes, there is one) rolling.

Shocked at the quite unexpected response to her arrival, Duct Tape Girl tried to pick herself up off the table... "Uhh, pastey? Do you think you could get off of me? Of course i came... anybody can forget school work and beatings to answer the call of justice..." She grinned awkwardly, wishing the strangers would stop staring at Pastey and her...

"Ah, right, right," Captain Pasty stood up, quickly. Putting on his "Proffesional Face," he offered Mary his hand. "Welcome back, Duct Tape Girl."

Laser Lad then rushed in, parking his BMX outside and walking inside. He struck a pose, saying, "Never fear, my fellow crimestoppers. Laser Lad is here to save the day, with his trusty laser!"

He then held up the laser, which resembled an AK-47 mixed with the Ghostbusters gun, only much more ugly looking. He then said, "Whaddya think! Kimiko here can reduce any foe to particulate matter, with 5000 Kilojoules of pure good! Or protons, technically."

He then said, thinking for a moment..."Is there punch?"

At the LoE HQ-

Tron's Armored Train parked itself outside, dropping dead fish and screeching to a halt in a most ominous fashion.

Out stepped Tron, who bellowed in all of his screechy majesty, "FELLOW COMRADES! I AM HERE! LET US GO TO WAR!"

When gretted by nothing, he coughed, and walked up to the front of the HQ. He then used his power claw, and slammed it on the front over and over, leaving a large dent. It was his way of knocking.

Lou Tsar slowly woke up, and even more slowly realized that this wasn't merely the company carpool. He was in a car with a bunch of people. They were all wearing dark shades, dark suits with dark ties and a white undershirt, carrying dark briefcases, and wearing thin, dark watches. The windows were tinted to the point of being almost opaque, the seats were made of ... leather? No. Something even harder to get out of when you'd been sweating a lot. In any case, they were dark. The floor was plush, but, again, dark. The men, who looked mostly caucasian, still contrived to be dark and mysterious. Lou looked down. Yes, they had changed him into a dark suit remarkably similar to those which they were wearing. However, on the edge of his peripheral vision, things didn't seem quite as ... well, dark. Lou realized that his suit was more similar than he had thought to theirs, and took off his shades. It was an enlightening experience.

However, everything was still dark. Lou put the shades back on, and felt better in being able to rationalize why everything was dark. His body felt strange, somewhat constricted. He looked under his undershirt, and it seemed that they had not changed his clothes so much as added to them. The bulging dress shoes ought to have been his first clue. Lou took off his shades. Lou took off his other shades. Much better.

"So, where are we going, guys?" Lou had long ago learned that it was best not to try to figure out why you were going, so much as where you were going. It saved time, and he could usually figure things out as they became apparent.

"Shut up, kid. We've all got shiny guns."

"Oh. What color?"

"Louie, hit him."

"Hey, that's my name too--" Lou's head slammed against the side of the car as a fist the size of a subwoofer made contact with his temple.

"Hey, what a co-inky-dink. Right, boss? What a funny co-inky-dink. This guy we picked up has my name," said the one who was apparently Louie.

"Well? What are you going to do about it? Just sit there? Take it back, for crying out loud! Jeez!" said Boss.

"Nononothatwon'tbenecessaryLouie! My name's actually Lou! Lou Tsar! I never took your name!" Lou relaxed as the apparent muscle of the group withdrew his considerable hand.

"Well, I'll let you off this time. But next time, boy, you're in trouble," said Louie, cracking his knuckles. "And it ain't Big Louie, either. Just Louie. Got it?"

Lou nodded, relieved. "Just as you say, Mister. I don't want no trouble."

"Shut up, kid," came the voice of Boss again. Louie, a monster who looked like he was almost seven feet tall and bordering on five hundred pounds of almost pure muscle, was next to Lou, Boss, a short, skinny, weasel-esque man who seemed to be bordering on 100 pounds of not much in particular except brain, was in the shotgun seat, and the driver appeared to be both mute and deaf, having not reacted at all to the preceedings.

The rest of the ride passed in silence. Eventually, they stopped in front of what appeared to be an abandoned train terminal. with a quite expensive looking train sitting in front of it. Boss, Louie, and driver got out.

"Come on, Loser, get out of the car. We got someone who wants to meet you," said Boss, in a voice that wasn't used to being ignored.

"Lou Tsar. Not Loser," protested Lou.

"Whatever. Get out of the car."

Lou got out of the car, and was immediately hoisted over the shoulder of Louie. They headed into the train station.

Balls Mahony sat across the street from the LoSI, staring into the window of the living room and watching a middle-aged couple watch T.V. He had heard the conch, but refused to stand up just yet. The last time he moved to scratch his head, three large birds flew in formation into the powerlines above.

Covered in charred guts and shame, the one they call "Lucky" was afraid he would end up getting his would-be team mates killed if he were to actually approach the building.

"Are not-quite-super hero's immune to bad luck?" he pondered, as a passer-by tripped and dropped a perfectly good, and lava hot, cup of coffee on his crotch. He decided to risk it, third degree testicle burns and all. It was time for him to right all the inadvertant wrongs he was responsible for.

Lucky stood up, walked across the street, was hit by several cars and one city bus, and squeezed himself into the open basment window...

MEANWHILE! (duh duh duuuuuh)

Ramakin was bored. He had neither sodomized nor killed anything today, and it was already noon. He brightened as a young women came through the red-lit door.

"May I help you maddam?" He said in his silky and unresistable voice.

The woman could only mutter "Ooooooohuuuuuuuh!" as she dropped to the floor in intense orgasm.

Ramakin walked out from behind the counter to reveal the massive steel dildo attached to what appeared to be a titanium codpiece.

"Ah, finally. Sodomy and murder. It's the breakfast of champions!" He squatted into corpse-hump possition, but a small note shoved under his door caught his attention.

"League of Evil, eh? Hmmm, sounds like fun!" Within minutes, he was out the door and into the Penetrator, dressed in his spiked leather suit of doom.

Yes, Dark Invader was on the move (and since his store is only three blocks away from Happy Fun Kidland, was there in a matter of minutes).

LoSI HQ

waking out of his stupor, Sir Swordsman shook his head and looked at the ppl now around him (thank god there was more than just a pirate in a dress to look at). he greated all of the heros in the basement.

"Captain Pasty, Lazer Lad, Duct Tape Girl..." he thought better of what he wanted to say and turned to look at the crossdressing buccaneer "...um, and you." It's good to see that there are good people around to answer the call of justice. I am Sir Swordsman. It is nice to meet-" he shot another side look at the priate "-almost everyone of you."

after another akward scilence he said "Alright, i cant stand this let's fix it." he knelt down on the floor and drew another circle. one flash of light later, *jzhoom* he returned to pirate to his proper cothes. "Much better." turned to Captain Pasty, "who else is coming?"

Evil-Dak Doomland

"Demon Dave makes his way stealthily towards the evil-dark layer. he uses the shadows as his al-"

*demon dave appears*

OOC: i think that, until i figure out something better, demon dave will be invisible as long as any of his dialog is italicized or (obviously) when stated.

"oh, shut up!"

"You always have to ruin my fun, don't you?"

"and you always have to do something stupid to get us into trouble. remember that field that you lit on fire and just sat there watching it burn while you sang T.N.T. by AC/DC?"

*sings* "cuz i'm T.N.T.-"

"i said shut up incase you didn't hear me!"

"you have anger-managment issues."

"WE DO NOT HAVE ISSUES!"

"both of you shut the hell up! lets just make our way to the layer and find out what the plan is."

dave dissapeared and walked away.
__________________________________________

demon dave aproached the front door as a large man with a metal arm was knocking on it. he moved closer.

"who is its?"

"it's Ghengis Tron, just keep quiet"

"ok"

dave moved right next to the large man. when he was right next to him he appeared and said "i guess no one is home, too bad, i was looking forward to a good fight."

demon dave aproached the front door as a large man with a metal arm was knocking on it. he moved closer.

"who is its?"

"it's Ghengis Tron, just keep quiet"

"ok"

dave moved right next to the large man. when he was right next to him he appeared and said "i guess no one is home, too bad, i was looking forward to a good fight."

OOC: This is New Dornalia, Jolt is being troublesome....

IC:

Tron looked at the newcomer, and said, "Greetings, fellow comrade-in-arms. I see you wish to join me and our new benefactor in..."

He then struck a pose, and said, "...IN GLORIOUS CONQUEST, WHERE CITIES SHALL FALL UNDER OUR FEET AND ALL THE WEALTH OF EVERYWHERE SHALL BE OURS!"

He then resuemd his normal standing position, and said, "My name is Ghengis Tron. I have to get used to calling myself that....stupid Nazis..... Anyway, what's your name?"

LoE HQ
Still trapped in a ball pit...

Yannoo, finally coming to her senses, leapt from the ball pit, slipping backwards and falling into a man that just happened to be in the right place...

"who the hell are you?" She has a whiny, nasal voice... possibly because she her nose was swollen for inexplicable reasons. Yannoo was suddenly in the arms of a rather burly looking man and still wasn't totally clear on the facts of how she had gotten there... She peered into the darkness, which was really more of a normal look, considering she was allergic to sunlight and indeed had better night vision than day vision... There appeared to be no more than a few henchman in the area. She began Laughing psychotically at nothing in particular. "So, what are you guys, the annual mafia convention?? You've got nothing better to do than terrorize little kiddies at a fun house?"

However, it finally occured to Yannoo that she was much too cheerful, and had better return to her usual DOOM and GLOOM before someone got suspicious... just in case somebody was there that would recognize her...

Oh, who cares, anyway???

Much Better....

By the time Yannoo's mood had been returned to the average low point of her day, she found herself bound and gagged and, of course, being carried by the several henchman into a random vehicle... Her last thoughts before the car took off was how very stereotypical the entire situation was, how deliciously evil it souded, and how relatively kinky she could make it if only she could have gotten a hand free....

-Later-
Yannoo couldn't really tell how far they had gone, only that she must have fallen asleep. or something. She had had a rather random dream about... well, nevermind. wiggling her fingers and stepping out of the car...... "wait a minute... NO WONDER THE DREAM WAS SO REALISTIC!!!" The biggest henchman, finally waking up, grabbed her arm and dragged her into the building, mumbling something about not ever wanting mix bussiness and pleasure again and having to take her to league headquarters. He frog marched her down a long corridor into another rather dark room, with a gun, or something, pointed at her back the entire way. She noticed a rather robotic looking mongol and someone who appeared to be invisible half of the time. There also appeared to be a dozen (or so) more henchmen about, and several others she did not recognize.

"Something tells me you guys aren't the mafia..." She wasn't really surprised, mostly because shocked is a better word, though whatever it was, she knew she wanted it.

"I am Demon Dave, infultrator extrodinare."

he shakes the giant metal hand of the strange man next to him, then he dissapears and bursts out: "We are demon dave!"

*cough* Dave gathers his composure. "ahem. sorry about that. i have a little trouble controling my powers. he likes to interuprt me at the worst times."

"no i don't."

"ahem! as i was saying: if you need to get in somewhere for reconosence or retrival, i'm your man. so, where is our host? it's bad karma to keep your guests waiting."

Father Bob felt as though he was moving in slow motion as he hopped off the horse. He hit the ground hard, dropping to one knee and rolling out of the way of the galloping beast. The entire manover felt like it took him an hour, and when he looked up, Hidalgo was no where to be seen. He started to get up.. Why was everything taking so long? At last he was walking towards the door. Suddenly a man flashed by him, and he could have sworn he saw the door open and close, but it all happened so quickly... no, it was impossible.
Many other shapes flashed by him, and Father Bob grew increasingly worried, Finally, after watching a girl fall through the basement window at a ridiculous speed, Father Bob reached the doorbell, and hit it. He pulled his finger back quickly, as the static shock coerced its way throughout his body, spreading to all of his extremities. The door swung open, and Father Bob stepped inside.

In the basement, Father Bob introduced himself to the assembled league, getting odd stares from those that passed him in the driveway, and an extremely inquisitive look from Captain Pasty, who could ahve sworn he saw this exact man on a horse in his driveway nearly three days ago.

Nappy Mcturtleneck could not believe wat had just happened. It was supposed to be a simple delivery, 90 miles, one package, but the thumping had made him stop. He stopped along the side of the highway, and looked in the package. He never looks in the package, and this time he found out why. Before he knew it his car had been blown up, he was being chased by Chinese slave-traders, his house was demolished, but on the plus side, he had this hot new girlfriend, Qu Shi. Now he was fighting a bunch of goons in a bus station in France, and the fight was not going his way. Suddenly, he saw what he was looking for. He took off his shirt and dove towards the vat of engine oil, spilling it all over him and the floor. The goons were tripping over themselves trying to grab him, but his greased-up, muscle-bound body only slipped out of their grasp. Nappy jumped onto a bike, breaking the pedals off and strapping them on his feet, he threw the bike into a group of goons. Using the pedals for grip, he could easily run across the greasy floor, and kick his foes in the face, using the makeshift spikes on his feet as deadly weapons. Just as he twirled around to knock another goon out, a heavy fist caught him in the chest, rushing adrenaline straight to his heart.
Nappy Mcturtleneck awoke, gasping for breath, he looked around. He was in the drivers seat of his Plymouth Neon, not a BMW. This was certainly not France. And his Body was neither muscle-bound, nor greased-up. He shook his head, "Man," he muttered to himself, "I have knew I shouldn't have stayed up until 5 watching the transporter on FX."
He walked towards the fun house, remembering his mission, and trying to forget about his hot girlfriend Qu Shi. She doesn't exist in this world.

Lou Tsar was carried into the building, which seemed to be missing a door on the rear entrance, by the tracks. Lou put it down to petty theft, but then realized his mistake when he saw it on the other side of the hallway from the gaping hole. At that point, Lou decided that it simply wasn't worth the inquiry. Boss, Louie, and Driver walked down the hall, and Lou had no choice to accompany them, still occupying about half of one of Louie's shoulders. Louie seemed to be hacing the toughest time of it, because he either had to duck to walk down the hall or carve a path in front of him to make room for his head.

"So, uh, Boss, which room do you think the meeting is in?" asked Louie.

"Jeez you're stupid, Louie. The one the voices are coming from," said Boss.

"Oh. Well, what if no one else is here yet?"

"Then we pick whatever room seems best! Jeez!"

Louie considered this, and decided that there wasn't a flaw in the argument. They kept walking down the hall, or, in Lou's case, accompanying, until they indeed found a door from which sounds were eminating. These sounds were incredibly voicelike. They also weren't very far from the empty doorframe, as though they didn't really care if their room was comfortable or not. The door was closed; Driver, being the one that seemed either least expendable or hired for this sort of thing, went in first, and completely failed to attract any bullets. Louie and Boss decided that it was safe to go in.

Once inside, they found one seat and plopped Lou into it. He was able to take his surroundings in. There was a ... rather enthusiastic person from the steppes with a bionic arm. Lou winced every time he shouted. There was also a person who couldn't decide whether or not they were visible, and didn't seem to be able to convince themselves one way or the other no matter how much his personalities argued. There was a woman who seemed to be tied up for no real reason whatsoever. There were a whole lot of people who looked like different sized Louies and Bosses, although Driver seemed to be unique. Lou got the impression that more people were expected to come, and couldn't help but wonder why he was here. However, as usual, he decided to play along and hope to figure things out on the way. Louie, Boss, and Driver had taken up stations behind Lou's chair, with Louie in the middle (he wasn't completely visible, as he had decided to stop slouching; the ceiling had a hole where he decided would be the best place for his head to be), Boss nearest the door and Driver on the opposite side of Boss. All in all, it made Lou feel important.

Lou started to pay attention to the conversation between the one he was coming to think of as The Semivisible Man and Mister Metallic, and decided not to try any more. So, hearing the woman's question, he turned to her.

"I'm not really sure who these people are, either. Any idea why we're here? All I know is that I was chloroform'd and stuffed into a car with Louie, Boss, and Driver here," said Lou, indicating his Honor Guard.

*after a long uncomfortable pause*

LoE HQ
Yanoo, soaking in the uncomfortable attitude, "you have a body guard? or three?" She still had no idea where she was and what had exactly transpired on the car ride... She laughed uncomfortably... seeing that no one else immidiately appeared to be amuzed, she posed a question: "So... What countries are we pillaging today? Who is our mark?"


LoSI HQ
*after a similar uncomfortable pause*
"So... since no one is talking... Who are all these intelligent people on this mission...quest... thing...? Where are we going?"

*after a long uncomfortable pause*

LoE HQ
Yanoo, soaking in the uncomfortable attitude, "you have a body guard? or three?" She still had no idea where she was and what had exactly transpired on the car ride... She laughed uncomfortably... seeing that no one else immidiately appeared to be amuzed, she posed a question: "So... What countries are we pillaging today? Who is our mark?"


LoSI HQ
*after a similar uncomfortable pause*
"So... since no one is talking... Who are all these intelligent people on this mission...quest... thing...? Where are we going?"

LOE HQ:

Ghengis Tron then said, laughing, "Relax, young warrior, who looks eager for battle. We will deal judgment in due time...."

He then thrust his claw into the air, and then said, "...A TIME, WHEN WE SHALL-"

He began coughing, and his voice box began to screech. After all it could only take so much grandstanding. His retainer quickly changed the box, and he said, slightly embarassed now, yet still full of bombast:

"Where was I? Oh yes...WHEN WE SHALL STOMP ON OUR ENEMIES...AND RENDER THEM ASUNDER...AND MUCH MORE! YES, OH SO MUCH MORE!"

Tron then said, breathing, shaking his head and returning to a relatively normal state: "I could've done that better, huh? Anyway, I'm as lost as you."

----------------------

LOSI HQ-

Laser Lad then said, "I have no idea, Duct Tape Girl. I'm waiting for the Capitain to tell us this. Me, I am-"

He then struck a Captain Morgan0style pose, putting his foot on a chair, saying, "Laser Lad! Defender of justice! Using 5,000 watts of good to do so in the process!"

He then pulled out a slightly used DVD copy of Excel Saga from his pack and said, "So who likes anime? I do. It's bleepin' awesome, and anybody who disagrees is wrong because-ah, fark it."

Laser Lad then began singing the Yatta song and robot dancing...DVD in hand.

Father Bob attempted to quiet his young, restless, yet nonetheless special brethren, but alas it was no use, it seemed this young disturbed child would not give up his impersonations of a robot. He turned to Captain Pasty, "They are right in asking, Captain. What is this mission you have called us together for?" Captain Pasty just stood still. Obviously Father Bob had misjudged this man's genius. By remaining quiet while his subordinates pestered him with demands, Captain Pasty would istill true wonderment when he finally spoke. As soon as the first word passes his lips, the entire room will fall silent, and he will not have to explain himself over and over, as he would if he began speaking now while everyone was excited and chatting amongst themselves. Let the people calm down first, then they may hear his words... brilliant. Truly this young captain was wiser than his years would suggest. Either that, or he was just too stupid to explain properly the problem at hand... but we can give him the benefit of the doubt for now.



Meanwhile, at St. Andrews Episcopal Church

The doors to the church flew open, and the advance guard burst in, sending junior choir members scattering for cover. "All clear," One of the advance guards yelled, calling back through the open doors, "Bring him in!"
Six men walked in, at their center was a tall man, with out a single gray hair; his hair was jet both bright white and jet black, but nothing in between. He wore a black suit, and a dark-crimson, silk cape. The tall man strode quickly in the direction of the choir leader, whom he easily lifted by the collar. "Where is Father Bob?" His harsh demand struck fear into the heart of the choir leader, who made a mental note to wash his robes... soon.
"I... I Have no clue what you're talking about man, who the heck is Father Bob?" The choir leader stuttered.
The large man sighed, "Robert Covington Blood the Third! Your rector fool! Where is he??" He was growing impatient, and the smell of urine was really bothering his nasal passages.
"Oh, him, yeah... He disappeared right after services, haven't seen him since." Man, these robes were getting really uncomfortable.
"Oh, well I'm sorry then, thank you." The man walked towards the door, his escort gathering around him, he turned towards the junior choir members who were coming out of hiding, "And you kids stay in school! Tell Robert I was looking for him, I have some information of great interest to him." The doors slammed, and many large vehicles could be heard starting up outside. The Junior choir leader turned towards the children. "Um... I'll see you all next week, remember to practice!" Man, I hope the laundry mat is still open.

Lou Tsar was carried into the building, which seemed to be missing a door on the rear entrance, by the tracks. Lou put it down to petty theft, but then realized his mistake when he saw it on the other side of the hallway from the gaping hole. At that point, Lou decided that it simply wasn't worth the inquiry. Boss, Louie, and Driver walked down the hall, and Lou had no choice to accompany them, still occupying about half of one of Louie's shoulders. Louie seemed to be hacing the toughest time of it, because he either had to duck to walk down the hall or carve a path in front of him to make room for his head.

"So, uh, Boss, which room do you think the meeting is in?" asked Louie.

"Jeez you're stupid, Louie. The one the voices are coming from," said Boss.

"Oh. Well, what if no one else is here yet?"

"Then we pick whatever room seems best! Jeez!"

Louie considered this, and decided that there wasn't a flaw in the argument. They kept walking down the hall, or, in Lou's case, accompanying, until they indeed found a door from which sounds were eminating. These sounds were incredibly voicelike. They also weren't very far from the empty doorframe, as though they didn't really care if their room was comfortable or not. The door was closed; Driver, being the one that seemed either least expendable or hired for this sort of thing, went in first, and completely failed to attract any bullets. Louie and Boss decided that it was safe to go in.

Once inside, they found one seat and plopped Lou into it. He was able to take his surroundings in. There was a ... rather enthusiastic person from the steppes with a bionic arm. Lou winced every time he shouted. There was also a person who couldn't decide whether or not they were visible, and didn't seem to be able to convince themselves one way or the other no matter how much his personalities argued. There was a woman who seemed to be tied up for no real reason whatsoever. There were a whole lot of people who looked like different sized Louies and Bosses, although Driver seemed to be unique. Lou got the impression that more people were expected to come, and couldn't help but wonder why he was here. However, as usual, he decided to play along and hope to figure things out on the way. Louie, Boss, and Driver had taken up stations behind Lou's chair, with Louie in the middle (he wasn't completely visible, as he had decided to stop slouching; the ceiling had a hole where he decided would be the best place for his head to be), Boss nearest the door and Driver on the opposite side of Boss. All in all, it made Lou feel important.

Lou started to pay attention to the conversation between the one he was coming to think of as The Semivisible Man and Mister Metallic, and decided not to try any more. So, hearing the woman's question, he turned to her.

"I'm not really sure who these people are, either. Any idea why we're here? All I know is that I was chloroform'd and stuffed into a car with Louie, Boss, and Driver here," said Lou, indicating his Honor Guard.

Khan then said, greeting Lou with a smile, a laugh, and a bright happy smoker's voice box voice, "Ah! More fellow warriors, eager to get a piece of the planet! Our cause grows in strength!"

He extended his power claw, to shake hands. "I am Ghengis Tron."

Father Bob attempted to quiet his young, restless, yet nonetheless special brethren, but alas it was no use, it seemed this young disturbed child would not give up his impersonations of a robot. He turned to Captain Pasty, "They are right in asking, Captain. What is this mission you have called us together for?" Captain Pasty just stood still. Obviously Father Bob had misjudged this man's genius. By remaining quiet while his subordinates pestered him with demands, Captain Pasty would istill true wonderment when he finally spoke. As soon as the first word passes his lips, the entire room will fall silent, and he will not have to explain himself over and over, as he would if he began speaking now while everyone was excited and chatting amongst themselves. Let the people calm down first, then they may hear his words... brilliant. Truly this young captain was wiser than his years would suggest. Either that, or he was just too stupid to explain properly the problem at hand... but we can give him the benefit of the doubt for now.

Laser Lad stopped robot dancing and then said, "Aw, come on, padre! Live a little!"

He then gave an ill-advised hearty slap on the back to Father Bob and then said, "Say....have you heard about anime recently? It's awesome...and...."

He just kept on talking from then on.....

ooc: Sorry for the delay... Hey, guys? If you're gonna use a quote, would you mind only using the last sentence or so? Otherwise it takes up a lot of space...
IC:
Captain Pasty[
"Ah hem!" The room went silent, more or less. "I think we should sit." And Captain Pasty gestured to the table and assortment of chairs. He took his place in the swivel chair at the head of the table and waited for everyone to find a seat.
------------------------------------------------------------------

The Politician
The Politician had been waiting behind a door, dumbfounded by what he saw.

"This is what we got?" Shaking his head, he entered with a big introduction. Well, almost. His voice changer emitted a loud feedback sound. The crowd went silent. Adjusting a few knobs, he gestured to the crowd, "Follow me."
------------------------------------------------------------------

Captain Pasty
“Well, I’m sure you’re all wondering two things. First, why are you here and second, why am I running around in a swim suit with a towel tied around my neck. As the latter is a rather long story involving a garden hose, two kegs full of peanut butter, and a hooker named Larry, I’m going to only answer the first question.”

“You have been called here to fight evil. Four months ago, a madman named The Politician began stealing servers. This has made many people very unhappy because most of these servers have belonged to, how do you say, ‘adult entertainment’ web sites.”
------------------------------------------------------------------

The Politician
“I’m going to get right to the point.” The Politician lead his odd assortment of evil into his newly transformed evil lair. Black tall chairs had been set up around a long black table. “Sit.”

“You have been gathered here to help me in my evil plan to steal the internet. Though me and my henchmen have been quite successful on our own, recent events have forced us to seek your help? You all may have heard a conch call. It is the rallying cry of an organization called The League of Special Individuals. I had a little run in with them a while back and...”

------------------------------------------------------------------

Captain Pasty
“About three months ago, the League confronted this madman. He managed to get away, due to a shortage of members on our part.” There was a hint of frustration on the Captain’s face, but then it was gone.

“Anyway, the League fell apart after that. I believe The Politician, having heard the conch call, may be forming-”
------------------------------------------------------------------

The Politician
“A League of Evil to help keep those wretched do-gooders off my back. Any questions?”
------------------------------------------------------------------

Captain Pasty
“So that’s the story...” The Captain looked our his eager new members. “Any questions?”

dave vanished. "do you have any cheetoes?"

*cough cough*

"ahem, i mean, what's in it for us. besides the usual you know money, touchering inocents and the such? you have the master plan covered, but if we're doing all of the dirty work there better be something in it for us. are there any bonuses?"

-------------------------------------------

cael leaned forward "how dose he expect to steal the internet? is that posible. and if he does have a way to do that, how do you expect us to stop him and his league of evil?"

Nappy McTurtleneck looked around to see if anyone did indeed have any questions. A look of pure shock lit up his face as he doubled over in pain, clutching his side. "Could I go to the bathroom real quick?" he managed to scream out, just as his back arched in agony. The other recruits exchanged puzzled glances as he ran out of the room.

moments later; In a awkwardly clown themed bathroom
Nappy took out his cell phone, dialed quickly, and screamed "Yes?" at the voice on the other line. The pain subsided.
"I have a few questions for the man, I need you to relay them..."
Nappy listened for nearly 5 minutes as the instructions were made clear. "Yes," he replied, then he returned to the conference room.

One more moment later; at the conference room
"Yes, I have a question." Nappy's voice was almost automatic as he relayed the message. "I need you to keep one server up, mind you, you are still alowed to steal it, but it must be kept up at nearly all times. This server is housed in a massive compound just north of here. It contains all the nescessary technology to keep all the weblogs on the internet running. These weblogs are an essential part of my master's plan to brainwash the youth of today. Without them, my Master's pawns will not be able to complain properly, thus making others complain about their complaints, the end result of this chain reaction is to make all of todays youth unhappy, and searching for an identity. We give them this identity: EMO. There is only one time when no EMO kid updates his journal, only once a week is traffic low enough on these servers to steal them without most people noticing. On Thursday Mornings between 6:17 and 6:51 in the morning, we must strike. It is too late to still be up, but yet too early to be up yet... it is perfect, and it is when we must strike. If this one demand cannot be help, then I'm afraid I will have to withdrawl my services, and my master shall fight your cause with nearly every teenager in America." Nappy McTurtleneck, upon delivering his speech, sat down and looked like he had no idea what he just said.

At that Very Moment, in a Basement
Father Bob stroked his chin, "No Porn eh? This should really piss off those Catholics, at least once they hit the child porn servers." Then he remembered something. "No, even if it does make those Catholics suffer, we cannot let these monsters take the internet. The internet, despite it's amazing porn-delivering capabilities, ultimately does more good for society." That was close, Father Bob thought to himself, I don't know what would happen if these guys took down cloisterclusterfuck.com or, even worse, nun-takes-all.net "I'll fight this madness until the very end, this Politician shall not escape the wrath of the League again."

Technically a Few Moments before all this, several blocks away
The advance guards walked up to the crash scene, police were still trying to hold back a growing crowd, while fireman racked there brains to find out how someone had managed to get his Black Plymouth Neon to fit neatly into a Mini Cooper. Also, several dectives were trying to find out where the driver of this vehicle and his passenger had gone. Several flashed badges later, the advance guard cleared these men out, and several gun shots later, the crowd was beginning to leave as well. "Bring him in!" an Advance Guard radioed, and a van drove up, depositing six armed body guards, and a tall man in a black suit and a crimson cape.
"Excellent," he said, "It appears our good father has escaped this unfortunate crash."
"Sir, we've got an ID on the driver, should we follow him?"
"No, the driver is of no importance to us, we need to find Father Bob, and soon." The Tall Man spotted something in the dirt on a side street which caught his eye. "Quick, Leonard, get over here." The man he adressed rushed over. "What do these look like to you?"
"Sir, they look like horse tracks!"
"Precisely, these tracks will lead us to Father Bob. Let's move! They'll find us any moment."

Captain Pasty
“So that’s the story...” The Captain looked our his eager new members. “Any questions?”

Laser Lad then screamed: "THOSE B***ARDS! THEY SHUT DOWN MY FAVORITE HENTAI WEBSITE!"

Slightly embarassed by this, he then powered up his laser and waved it around menacingly, saying in a stirring, almost cliched voice, "They will pay for their crimes!"

-----------------

Tron then said, cackling, "The Internet?"

He bowed, and then said, "You have a champion, a tactician, then, who knows this land well, this terrain. You are lucky to have me, Ghengis Tron, at your service."

Striking yet another of his many poses, he boasted, "I am a master of technology-all I have, since the people who brought me back into this world left me in this twisted state, unbefitting a grand warrior like myself, voice box and all. But I digress."

Captain Pasty
"Excellent question, my friend." Captain Pasty turned to Sir Swordsman. "He is 'stealing' the internet by hooking the servers up to a network that only he has access to." He then noticed Laser Lad waving that weapon of his around. "Now, we can't do anything until the League of Evil strikes. I would like to get to know each of you and your powers. Headquarters is, of course, out fitted in the latest in boredom-beatingness." He then gestured to the fooseball and pool tables that most people would swear weren't there a minute ago. There were also a few pinball machines up against the far wall and a PS2 hooked into a wide screen TV in the corner.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Politician
"There will, of course, be plenty of money involved in this job. Not to mention a chance to blow stuff up, my transparency-confused friend. Did you have anything specific in mind?"

"As for you," The Politician rounded on Nappy, without waiting for a response from Dave, "I'm afraid I wasn't clear enough. I am stealing the internet. That means I'm hooking the servers into my personal network. Sadly, this will clash with your master's plan. However, I would like you to inform him that the thought of an army of suicidal, wannabe goths doesn't scare me in the slightest. If this bothers you, you may leave. Otherwise, I will ask you to refrain from highjacking my evil plan."

ooc: Ben? Could you send me a telegram about these new characters of yours? I want to make sure you're not interfering with my plot.

Did you have anything specific in mind?

"we still want cheetoes!"

"SHUT UP!"

"AHEM! well, as to rewards... the world is more or less controled by the internet. more more and less less, but that's how it goes. that being the case, would a third wourld country be out of the question as a reward?

"i always wanted one of those for christmas, but santa always said i had been a bad boy..."

Captain Pasty
"Excellent question, my friend." Captain Pasty turned to Sir Swordsman. "He is 'stealing' the internet by hooking the servers up to a network that only he has access to." He then noticed Laser Lad waving that weapon of his around. "Now, we can't do anything until the League of Evil strikes. I would like to get to know each of you and your powers. Headquarters is, of course, out fitted in the latest in boredom-beatingness." He then gestured to the fooseball and pool tables that most people would swear weren't there a minute ago. There were also a few pinball machines up against the far wall and a PS2 hooked into a wide screen TV in the corner.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------


Laser Lad then said, screaming half-like-a-little-girl and half-with-unrestrained-gamer-joy: "A PS2!?? SWEE-EE-EET!"

He then pulled out a CD Wallet full of games and put in a copy of GTA: San Andreas. He then could be seen running about with an AK ingame, shooting things up....

ok so i know you guys dont know me *says paramorph as unmorphs from the crod that hooked up the ps2 to the tv*... ummm but im paramorph *trys to be exciting music but isnt* and ya well ive been ina fish tank... or rather been a fish tank and well i would like to help *then changes into a rug* but i cant seem to... well *changes into a snes and a copy of duck hunt* well screw this im staying like this... but i was wondering if i could help..

If this bothers you, you may leave. Otherwise, I will ask you to refrain from highjacking my evil plan."

Nappy McTurtleneck arose from his seat, "I'm very sorry for your disposition, I wish you luck in your conquest, but I must leave. We will not get in your way, in fact." As he neared the door, he let go of his side, the pain was easing now, and turned back towards the League of Evil, "Oh yeah," he exclamed, sounding a little more human, "If anyone ever needs a ride, here's my card." With that, he exited the room, and walked out of the building. Lighting a Cloves brand cigarette, he looked up at the massive crowd in front of him. "Go home my people, today is not our fight." As the massive army of Angst-Ridden teens dispersed, Nappy hopped into his Plymouth Neon, and drove home, accidently, but fatally, running over several of his comrades.

Meanwhile: At League Headquarters
"Ooh," Father Bob said, staring at the previously unnoticed playtime equipments. "But you're only missing one thing, a Ping Pong table." Opening his backpack, Father Bob set to work, setting up his collapsable travel table. After he was done, he sighed "Yeah, she's great for a game of beirut too," Several people turned to look at him, "What? I'm a father, not a saint!"
*awkward pause* "Look, I'm, uh, gonna go out side, take a breather... smoke a joint... What?!?"

Moments later, outside
The advance Guard had their eye on the building, and when a man emerged from the basement window, they were, to say the least, bewildered. Yet, even more spectacular than the use of a Basement window as an exit, this was the man they were looking for, this was Father Bob.
Father Bob saw the man in black running at him, and got out the words "Hey man, you got a li-" before he was tackled, hitting his head with a resounding "thock" on the foundation.
Before everything went black, he heard "Crap man, you weren't supposed to hit him that hard! What are we supposed to do until he wakes up?"

OOC: Sorry, guys, Jolt seems to hate me. It doesn't like me on forums and it doesn't like me searching for them, either. Bugger all.

IC: After shaking hands with the one identified as Ghengis Tron, Lou listened to the Politician, snorting to himself when the man said steal the internet. However, he decided not to ask too many questions, as that could get him shot. But, there was one thing that he needed to know.

"Okay, I understand why we're here, I understand what you're planning to do, I just need to know why you sent Louie, Boss, and Driver to ... obtain me. Why am I necessary? I'm not even evil, for crying out loud!" said Lou. He then realized that this was the wrong thing to say in the company of several people who were clearly very evil and not ashamed of being so, and said quickly: "I mean, I'm not nearly as evil as these guys. These guys make me look practically neutral. Um. And, actually, some cheetos sound nice. Does anybody have any wristwatches? I need to know the time."

On cue, Louie's hand shot in front of Lou's face, making Lou start in his seat. Lou, once he was done with his spasming fit, noticed the aforementioned thin watch on Louie's wrist. It was an analog watch, but it didn't have any hands. Lou looked at it strangely for a few moments, and then, satisfied, pushed Louie's hand back.

"Thank you, Louie. That was what I needed to know. Here, I'm hungry, is there somewhere to eat around here? I never got my IHOP!"

Boss gave Driver a look that said "Jeez, this kid is stupid. Why did we bring him here? Is it really worth it?" Driver gave Boss a look that didn't say anything. Boss, "Jeez!" written all over his expression, nodded at Louie, who took a styrofoam container out of the recesses of his suit jacket.

"We thought you might be hungry, so we waited until your order came until we left. Then Boss pulled the waitress to the side and explained to her that the meal was on the house. Is that okay?" asked Louie.

"Um, yeah, that should be fine. Thank you for keeping it warm. I think," said Lou, taking the container. "Any utensils? A spoon would be favourite."

"Jeez, what do you think we are, made of silverware? Of course we don't have any spoons! Jeez!" said Boss, who gave Louie a shocked look when he pulled a spoon from his sleeve. Louie wisely avoided Boss's gaze.

"Thank you, Louie," said Lou, opening the container. "Hey, they've got ligonberry sauce and everything! Gods, but this is going to taste good!"

After a moment of scarfing, Lou looked up from his meal.

"What? I like ligonberries!" he said to the world in general. And then he let them watch as he ate, making it clear that he would personally cut off the thumb of anyone who appeared to want to take Lou's food away from him. And he'd cut it off with the plastic spoon he was eating with.

Maybe Lou was just as evil as the rest of them.

Ghengis overheard the plan to steal the internet....it seemed fantastical and odd enough. It was bold, over-the-top, and crazed. It required guts and sheer insensitivity to the wants or needs of others.

Good thing Ghengis had those.

He slammed his foot down and said, "Well! Stealing servers to hook into your personal network, eh? A wonderful plan for the conquest of the realm known as...teh interweb!"

His retainer shook his head....he hated it when Ghengis went into netspeak. But, he knew better than to contest him; last person who did that found himself reduced to particulate matter.

Ghengis then said, "You will need a fast vehicle to do so, one that can ferry us to battle in the same way a mighty steed does for his master. My missile train, outfitted with the latest equipment, should help us quickly sieze the day. I offer it to you."

OOC: Decided to bold Ghengis's loud statements.

Father Bob awoke, slightly disoriented. As his vision regained vocus, he took note of his surroundings, A well-lit room with no windows, and three doors. He also noticed that there were four men in the room, one at each door, and another standing over him. But when he started to raise his the one standing over him ran out one of the doors, yelling "he's awake!"
"Robert," a voice said, causing Father Bob to jump, "You are an incredibly hard man to trach down, I see I have taught you well."
"Dad?!?" Robert exlamed, bewildered "But you died three years ago!"
"It was all a show, Robert, they were coming too close to me, for your sake I had to die."
"Who were coming in close? What's going on?" Robert demanded of his Father, his voice regressing to the maturity of a ten year old.
"The Mothers, a secret Catholic society sworn to wipe out our family. You see Robert, our family has a great secret, one large enough to replace the Catholic Religion with Episcopalianism overnight! At the head of the Mothers, is an old pupil of mine, Katherine Saint Claire, she now calls herself Mother Superior, and she has been getting really close to finding me. I must tell you our secret now, I fear I won't live to see tomorrow."
All of this greatly surprised Father Bob, but not nearly as much as the secret did. His eyes opened wide as His Father told him the story. Father Bob interjected more as the story progressed saying "Yes... of course... wait, what? ... He was what? ... No kidding! with Peter? ... no? ... ahhh Judas... well no wonder Judas never liked Mary Magdelene."
"Yes, Robert, now you understand why this secret must be kept. I fear that this truth would hurt more than help our society. The collapse of the Catholic Church would be the end of many morals."
"Yes Father, I understand."
"Good, now get back to your league of special individuals. I must face my pupil Katherine, hopefully I shall be victorious, if not... be careful, my son."
"No! You can't leave me again!"
But the tall man had left the room, bidding his men to watch over his son, he won't be needing them anymore."
And so, Father Bob, returned to the League headquarters, a sadder, but enlightened man.


Two Hours Later: Main Street
The Tall man strode stepp the side walk, his crimson cloak blowing from the lone wind which rumbled down the oddly abandoned center of town. *whurrr whurrr wa wa wa wa wu* He stopped, what was that noise? Suddenly, I knife strcuk the building next to him, right where his head would have been if he had not stopped walking. He turned towards the source of the knife, removing a two large gurka knives from his belt. "Katherine," he said, noting the shapely figure in black standing in the middle of the road, "So nice to see you again."
"Robert, you remembered me!" Katherine said, mildly pleased.
"How could I forget my best Pupil? I always wondered, Katherine, why did you switch?"
"Why did they tell me you were dead? I had no where else to turn damn you! The Catholics took me in, they changed me Robert, I can't help it."
"Then, I suppose there's only one thing left to do." Robert said, walking towards her.
"Yes, I'm sorry I must do this..." Katherine said, taking two Sais out of the sheath on her back.
The fight was spectacular, steel against steel as the two bodies became one writhing storm of pure battle. Katherine snapped one of Robert's knives in two, with her sais, but with a quick flick of his wrist he sent her weapons flying, only to bury themselves into a stop sign. Quickly, she grabbed his arm and flung him to the ground, producing another knife, she held it to his throat and demanded "Where is Father Bob?"
"Kill me!" He answered.
"Tell me where he is goddamnit!"
"Never!" Robert screamed, but just as he said this he caught a glow of light from a shop window, it was the six O'Clock news, on a display televesion.
"And in other news," the anchor was saying, "In response to the destruction of Slyde Tech Industries, Captain Pasty has, once more, called the League of Special Individuals to help him fight this new evil. Among these members are Duct Tape Girl, a veteran Special Individual, but also some new faces, including Father Bob, Shayzorblade..."
"So, your son is in the League of Special Individuals huh? He shouldn't be to hard to find now."
Robert's final scream of "Damn you Televised Newscasts!" was cut short by a quick cut across his throat. By the time the Blood had stopped flowing, Mother Superior was already halfway to the headquarters of the League of Evil.

Diana approached the LoSI headquarters, and stood not a millimeter form the door. Using her mighty Squid Squishyness ability, she fell to the ground in the form of an almost two-dimensional blob, and slipped through the crack under the door. She emerged on the other side, and promptly popped back into her not-so-flat form. Several superheroes were standing there staringat her.
"HOW DARE YOU FORGET TO INVITE LADY SQUID, MISTRESS OF ALL THAT IS WET AND SQUISHEY! Can I come in?", Diana shouted.

ooc: Shado, you better step up your post quality. I’m sorry, but that was chat-room level at best. Please try to post in the same manner as everyone else.
The Politician
“Very well then, goodbye.” As Nappy left, The Politician addressed the rest of his gathered crowd. “Feel free to help yourself to the snack counter. There should be some cheetos there.”

“Mr. Tron? Your train sounds like the perfect mode of transportation. You all should feel free to make yourselves at home and get to know one another. Your mission briefing will begin soon.”

Captain Pasty
“Where’d you get off to?” The Captain asked Father Bob as he returned to the basement.

“Honey? What are you doing down there?” A woman’s voice called down the stairway.

“Nothing, mom.”


“Do your friends what cookies? I just baked some.”

“Yeah, sure. Just- HOLY CRAP!!!” For Diana had just popped out of the floor. After her speach, the Captain recovered his composer. "Hello, friend, I'm Captain Pasty. Welcome to the League."

“Where’d you get off to?” The Captain asked Father Bob as he returned to the basement.

Father Bob crossed himself, and said "I'd rather not talk about it, if that's okay." He then saw the newest addition to the team, "Hey Lady Squid, you any good at ping pong?"

"The Holy Macrel" walks the streets of Looneria looking for injustices. He sees a robber beating one of the many pizza delivery men of Looneria to take his merchendise. And "The Holy Macrel" knows that he must jump into action:

Macrel: WHERE THERE IS INJUSTICE, I AM THERE! WHERE THERE IS A MAN IN NEED, I AM THERE! I AM THAT STALKER THAT FOLLOWS YOU AT NIGHT. I AM THAT SHADOW THAT CAUSES GREAT FIGHT... I AM THE HOLY MACROON...MACREL, THAT IS.

Robber: What the hell is that?

The robber runs away.

Pizza guy: Thank you, sir. I could Not be more Thankful.

Macrel: Your safty is my reward. NOW GO DELIVER THOSE PIZZIAS TO THE LUCKY CUSTOMER. (Thinks to himself "Im lucky I didn't have to fight that robber")

The Holy Macrel runs away into the shadows but not before tripping on a crack on the sidewalk and comicly falling on his face.

ooc: Shado, you better step up your post quality. I’m sorry, but that was chat-room level at best. Please try to post in the same manner as everyone else.
The Politician
“Very well then, goodbye.” As Nappy left, The Politician addressed the rest of his gathered crowd. “Feel free to help yourself to the snack counter. There should be some cheetos there.”

“Mr. Tron? Your train sounds like the perfect mode of transportation. You all should feel free to make yourselves at home and get to know one another. Your mission briefing will begin soon.”

Captain Pasty
“Where’d you get off to?” The Captain asked Father Bob as he returned to the basement.

“Honey? What are you doing down there?” A woman’s voice called down the stairway.

“Nothing, mom.”


“Do your friends what cookies? I just baked some.”

“Yeah, sure. Just- HOLY CRAP!!!” For Diana had just popped out of the floor. After her speach, the Captain recovered his composer. "Hello, friend, I'm Captain Pasty. Welcome to the League."

LOE:

Tron then bellowed with forced laughter, coughed, and resumed laughing, then saying, "Well, I am glad to see we can agree."

He then said, "My lord, I have plenty of fermented goat's milk and roasted lamb, for all to enjoy. For the non-meat inclined, I do have roasted tofu."

LOSI:

Laser Lad then perked up at the sound of cookies and said, "Mmm....cookies...."

He then proceeded to drool, Homer Simpson style. Cleaning up, he then said, "So....when will we move out? And where are these cookies?"

LADY SQUID

"They are cookies," confirmed the Lady Squid," indeed, all portents seem to point to the assertion that they are in fact cookies molecularly binded with a variety of gluclose-based sweeteners."

LADY SQUID

"They are cookies," confirmed the Lady Squid," indeed, all portents seem to point to the assertion that they are in fact cookies molecularly binded with a variety of gluclose-based sweeteners."

Laser Lad then said, "Mmm....glucose......"

The Politician
"all right, our next target is the multi-million dollar auction site G-Jay. Demon Dave, H4X, and Lou will be in charge of escorting our technicians in so that they can deactivate and remove the server. I want everyone else to grab anything of value that they may find. Also, I need everyone to be ready to confront the League when they show up. Now, everyone get your stuff in order and get on Ghengis' train. If you have any questions, ask them now."

ooc: Okay, one of the major parts of character-based RPing is character interaction. That's what should be happening during the dead areas between my posts. For instance, Swordsman put a wedding dress on Shayzor and he just kind of took it. REACT! Also, speaking of Swordsman, there are two females now in the League. Your profile said something about cheesy pick-up lines, right? 'Nuf said. Captain Pasty is standing by the table right now waiting for people to introduce themselves to him. Let's see some interaction! Oh, and Holy Macrel? Get your butt into the League HQ please.

As everyone cleared out of the meeting room, a shawdowy figure snuck in the door and walked up to the Politician. "Hello," She said, her sweet voice filling the air and causing him to turn around. "Do you have room for one more?"
The Politician nodded slowly.
"Excellent," She said, "I am Mother Superior, and I'm need to kill one of the members of the Laegue of Special Individuals, your sworn enemies. I will fullfill your tasks obediantly, you see, the anihilation of the internet would mean a great victory for my organization. Do we have a deal?"
The Polictician nodded once more.
"Good, you see, I need you. And," she added, her gaze traveling downwards, "It looks like you want me."

OOC: sorry to take minor control of your character Josh, but interaction is so hard when you have to wait two days for a response, if you don't like there's room for change.)

The Politician
"all right, our next target is the multi-million dollar auction site G-Jay. Demon Dave, H4X, and Lou will be in charge of escorting our technicians in so that they can deactivate and remove the server. I want everyone else to grab anything of value that they may find. Also, I need everyone to be ready to confront the League when they show up. Now, everyone get your stuff in order and get on Ghengis' train. If you have any questions, ask them now."

ooc: Okay, one of the major parts of character-based RPing is character interaction. That's what should be happening during the dead areas between my posts. For instance, Swordsman put a wedding dress on Shayzor and he just kind of took it. REACT! Also, speaking of Swordsman, there are two females now in the League. Your profile said something about cheesy pick-up lines, right? 'Nuf said. Captain Pasty is standing by the table right now waiting for people to introduce themselves to him. Let's see some interaction! Oh, and Holy Macrel? Get your butt into the League HQ please.

LOE:

Ghengis then motioned for his retainer to prepare room for the other League members on his train. He also said to the Politician, "Shall I create a diversion to make the job easier, my lord? I hunger for destruction."

LOSI:

Laser Lad then said to Captain Pasty, a tad annoyed at the impasse, "Captain, when will we go...do that...stuff we do? My trigger finger is itchy. Also, do you have a DVR? There's anime that needs to be recorded."

Lou, indeed, had a few questions. A few of them weren't suitable for public viewing/listening, and Lou kept with that sentiment, even though there were a few people around him who didn't seem to be as, well, benevolent as Lou. However, none of them had been prepared to amputate a digit with a plastic spoon, so perhaps everything was fair in the end. Anyway.

"Mister Politician, sir, I have two questions for you. Number one: why was I chosen? Why did you bring me here? You didn't answer that when I first asked. Question number two: may I bring my appointed henchmen with me, or do they have business elsewhere? They have, so far, seemed like they are unable to part company with me."

"Jeez! Will you listen to this kid? Us. Enjoy his presence. Only as much as I enjoys the presence of the average table. Sure, we needs him, but this whole thing about us liking him is unfounded! Jeez, the assumptions people make. It really blows the mind, know what I'm sayin'?" objected Boss.

"Boss?" came Louie's voice from the hole in the ceiling.

"Yeah?"

"Shut up, Boss," said Louie.

"!!!!!!" said Boss, too shocked to speak.

There was a pause, in which Lou carefully sized up the situation. Then, satisfied, he spoke again.

"Okay. Um. Boss, you're still the boss, but apparently it would be unwise to badmouth the newbie. Me. However, I will still follow your orders. Alright? Most of them, anyway."

"!!! ? ! ... ."

"Right." Lou turned his attention back to the Politician. "So, anyway, why am I here, and can I bring my entourage with me? Including Boss."

Lou thought a little bit more, and turned his attention to Ghengis Tron.

"And, if he is allowed to come, may I suggest that my mute assistant here at least co-engineer your train? I don't know personally where his talents lie, but he's the best driver I've ever ridden with, and that's a fact. Right, Driver?" said Lou, nudging Driver with his elbow. Driver looked at the elbow disdainfully, as though he thought that the world would be a better place if it were broken, but decided that the elbow was currently most useful intact.

Lou sat back and looked back and forth from the Politician to Ghengis Tron, expecting an answer. He was really getting the hang of this "evil" thing.

OOC: I am soo sorry guys, i am a failure face... or a cliff face... maybe both. I went on a college visit the other day and it finally hit me that i need to stop slacking off. so, since i haven't turned in anything all semester in history, i needed to get caught up... got run down, now i'm coming down with the stomach flu. Yeah, getting sick TWO WEEKS before all-state championships... Sorry, Penguin... You know me, i push myself till i cant anymore. Yeah, okay, i am STILL a spooty-head towel decliner... I'll try and post tomorrow night, but right now i'm too tired to think, and whatever i posted would be really low quality. i was in charge at color guard practice AND lighting tonight.... Yay for biting off more than i can chew!

ooc: alright, Mr. Penguin, you want pick up lines... here you go

ic: LoSI

After grabbing a cookie, Swordsman walks over to the seat next to Lady Squid and sits down. He turns to her, resting his elbo on the table, and says with a smile, "so, tentacles must come in handy."


ooc: hows that? and that's just the begining. cuz you know i got more than that.

ooc: *dies:gundge:*

IC:
LoE:
Yannoo had been soundlessly watching the scene before her as it unfolded, she admired Lou for his valient attempts at gaining control of the situation, but realized that if the man who seemed to be called the "politician" knew anything about the art of domination, she knew Lou probably wouldn't get away with it. She still didn't have a total idea of why specifically she was there and decided she would ask, playing off the fact that she also knew of the art of subbmission. "Yeah, and, master politician" She bowed lowly, "I offer my services to however you may need them..."

LOSI... by a pinball machine

"DIE YOU LOUSY SILVER BALL!!! DIE!!!" Duct Tape girl smacked the dumb machine, wishing terribly that she had the ability to melt things down with her mind, and... Noticing that she was being stared at, she shot the room an uncomfortable smile, and referencing the pinball machine asked, "So, anyone up for some roasted marshmallows?"

OOC: I return :-p

IC:

LOE: Tyler had been asleep for a while, he vaguely remembered somthing about this politicain guy talking about ruling something, w/e. Heh, H4x liked "z"s. He awoke to a funnyily short man prodding him.

"Huh-wha?"
he said in a sleepy daze.

"The boss says to move out, youve got a mission"
said the guard in a strangely fake italian accent.

"wait, what mission, ive been sleeping, as far as i know we could be taking over the internet or something."

"we are"

"oh, umm, in that case, uh, whaddadahell am i assigned to do"
he rubbed sleep from his eyes and examined his surroundings.

"follow me"
h4x was lead into a room where Demon Dave and Lou were waiting.
This odd pair began to inform him of what their mission was, this soon turned into a group of three as dave continuously flashed in and out of sight, much to h4x's confusion.

"excuse me, did u just, umm..."
inquired h4x

"quiet you!!!"
yelled the dave

"right... moving on"
h4x added quickly

this seemed to be easy enough, the internet was h4x's speciality, hell, he could crash someones server, buuut that was just with porn. h4x had not the slightest clue as to what "taking over the internet entailes"

he suddenly had the humorous image of him running up to an old lady and yelling "IT'S OK MAM, I'm from t3h internets :-D" Ha, he would have to do that sometime.

h4x immediately reconciled to get back onto his train of thought. Preparing to move out he was ready for the next phase.

he hoped that phase might include brownies :-p

LOSI:
Shayzorblade did not like the idea of the internet being taken over. he disliked this idea almost as much as he disliked pink dresses. how coincidental that he had encountered both in recent memory. Moving right along, he was ready to do his part. He would definitaly be willing to sacrifice his life for the many online comics that he loved to read.

wait

sacrifice

life

he made a mental note not to make such quick decisions from now on

"Hey guys, what exactly are we going to do to stop this from happening?"

Laser Lad turned his head, cookies in mouth "Do?"

well, if the LOE is planning to take over the internet and all of its chocolatey goodness, we must stop them.

"well, how do we do that?"

i dunno, wait for something to happen i guess. does that make sense to anyone, cause i know i tend to confuse myself

khan made another mental note, do not confuse myself

and then

something happened

Lou sat back and looked back and forth from the Politician to Ghengis Tron, expecting an answer. He was really getting the hang of this "evil" thing.
The Politician
"You, my friend, are here because-" He stopped, as if he was seeing Lou for the first time. "Wait, you're not Kaptain Katastrophe! Who the hell are you?" A few of his minions attempted to straiten him out. "Oh. I guess you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, buddy."

"A distraction might be just the ticket," he turned to Ghengis. "If we can get a better idea of what the League can do, we may be able to understand how to destroy them. Now then, everyone to the train."

[QUOTE=TiriniaAfter grabbing a cookie, Swordsman walks over to the seat next to Lady Squid and sits down. He turns to her, resting his elbo on the table, and says with a smile, "so, tentacles must come in handy."QUOTE]

LOSI:
"I have not tenticles,"said the Squid.

LOSI:
"I have not tenticles,"said the Squid.
Captain Pasty
"That's what she said." Everyone stopped and stared at him. "What? She did say it..."

The Politician
"You, my friend, are here because-" He stopped, as if he was seeing Lou for the first time. "Wait, you're not Kaptain Katastrophe! Who the hell are you?" A few of his minions attempted to straiten him out. "Oh. I guess you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, buddy."

"A distraction might be just the ticket," he turned to Ghengis. "If we can get a better idea of what the League can do, we may be able to understand how to destroy them. Now then, everyone to the train."

Ghengis then said, "Very well, my lord. TONIGHT, WE MEET WITH DESTINY!"

He struck a pose, and proceeded to do 'jazz hands.' He then looked at his retainer, who was shaking his head. Ghengis then said, "Come on....that's my style."

The retainer then said, "Sir, not to be impudent...but could you find a more creative way of expressing your majesty?"

Ghengis then said, "Look. I try very hard to set a good impression. If you don't like it, I can always break you in two and feed you to my train's powerplant, and hire a new retainer who will keep his mouth shut. How about that?"

The retainer sighed and then said, "Very well...."

They then went on the train, silently. Ghengis then ordered the conductor to start powering up the engines. The engines then began an unholy scream, as they awoke. The systems powered up, and people raced to make sure everything was working. Ghengis demanded it.

Meanwhile, his retainer flipped a switch, and activated a jukebox that began playing Awesome Melodramatic Bad Guy Music. In this case, it first played Blitzkrieg Bop by the Ramones, but then the retainer hit it, and then it played Night on Bald Mountain. Alas, the stubborn jukebox then switched to Nikki French's Total Eclipse of the Heart. Sighing, he gave up, and walked away, as the beat blared into the bay....
----------------

LOSI:

Laser Lad then said, in a voice that screamed "wannabe" "Yeah...that is what she said."

He then said, "Okay, I just ruined the moment, didn't I?"

LOE:

Demon dave lead H4X and Lou out of the main hall and back onto the grounds of the Dark Doomland fun park.

"why must these peoples follow uses?"

"because they are our team."

H4X questions, "um... did you just.."

"QUITE YOU!!!"

that scilenced him. dave continued on. "alright you two, while my speciality is stelth, i like to think that i can hold my own in the ways of computers." he pulls out a pocket PC and starts to scroll through menus. "in one of the jobs i pulled, i had to get the scematics of the G-Jay building (some mobster and his ex-trophy wife and her films or something - hey, they gives us the foods - exactly) anyway," *beep* "this is the floor plan of the building. it lies on the corner of 25th and east-south street. the easyest way of entrance for the techies lies here" *beep* "the man hole cover 2 blocks away on 23rd street. we enter here and my security loop hole is still set up from the job i did. now..." here he turns to look at H4X and Lou. "whose the fastest driver?"


OOC: well if the villans have to strike first to get anything done, i maight as well start it. Khan, Snazzopia, jump in. let's get this show on the road.

...as for the Losi, let's move there too.


IC: LoSI:

Cael sneezed. *BOOM* as the chair he was sitting in disintigrated, he flew backwards into the wall and left an imprint. "owwwww... damn i did it again. i'm sorry whenever i get nervious, that happens. it's a side effect of the alchemy and alergies... um yeah, ill fix this." he stood up and turned to the wall and started to draw a circle on it. he kept looking away from everyone so they wouldn't see him blushing. he muttwered to himself "earth... what was earth, that was four lines at 60 degrees right... no, no it was eight lines at 45 degrees... um" he put his hand on the circle and concentrated on the wall, next thing he knows, a crack runs down the wall, across the floor, up the table leg and surrounds the plate of cookies. a circular hole in the table opens up and the cookies fall to the floor.

everyone turns to look at swordsman.

"...well that went well... um, i'll just go sit in the corner..." he walks over to the couch and turns on digimon on the tv.

-snip-

LOSI:

Upon seeing Digimon turn on, Laser Lad had convulsions, like he had been hit with a lightning bolt. His face grew angry, and his fists clenched up, gripping the laser gun with holy vengance.

"I...F**KING.....HATE.....DIGIMON!!!!! DEATH TO FALSE ANIME!"

He then fired a burst into the air. Then, he said, "Well, anyway.....anybody want to use my mom's car to get to it? I happen to live close to this house."

LOE:

Tron, as he got into his personal train, said, "I would provide a driver, alas, but they only know the art of conducting trains."

He then tooted the horn of the train, still blaring techno music and now moving slowly out of the complex as the engines were warming up, and said, "I will fulfill my duty! LAST CALL!"

LoSI:

"d00d. wtf? i love digimon. why did you have to blow up the tv? Stargate was on next."

swordsman then reaches his hand into his pocket only to find his long lost pentagram pendant. "oh, sweet!" he holds it tight in his hands, the next second after a flash of light, the tv is good as new.

"sweet! stargate time."

The Politician
"A distraction might be just the ticket,"

Mother Superior turned around as the Politician said this. "A distraction? I think I may be able to provide such a thing." She took out her cell phone and dialed, "Hello... Hello??? ADAM CAN YOU HEAR ME?!? Right, yes, I understand... it's a loud, loud party. listen, can you get a hold of Jurassic Clark for me? No, Jurassic CLARK! Look, can you just make sure that he is outside of the G-Jay headquarters. No! No, I know he isn't gay! I said G-JAY! The auction site. Yeah, that one. Just get him there as soon as possible. Thanks, have a good party."
Lou looked at her oddly and said "Jurassic... CLARK?"
"That's what I said, what's the matter? Inner ear infection?"

Meanwhile, at the LOE
Father Bob just gave up playing ping pong. Nobody wanted to play with him, and he had to face it... the wall was winning. He turned towards the couches, where a fight had broken up about some sort of tv programming, after a bright flash of light, he caught the words "Sweet! Stargate time!" and he dove towards the couch, landing in a three point roll and smoothly sheathing his ping pong paddles in the process, as he positioned himself on the couch he said "Stargate is Mana from Heaven in televised form."

OOC: Ummmm, Cael? How is anything you do related to Alchemy? please enlighten me on when Alchemy became the art of powder-based magic.

OOC: Matakarma, please do not take control of peoples' characters any more. If you can't handle only one character, develop more. I find it easier. But I really do not appreciate having my characters be used to say things that, under my development, would be highly unlikely. Sorry if I sound a bit harsh, but that's the way these things are for me.

IC: Lou paused. No reason for him to be there? Waste of chloroform? Not Kaptain Katastrophe? Mistake? No reason for him to be there??? Lou reeled in a world of his own. Something else took hold of his body.

Lou reached into his pocket. He fumbled around the contents. He withdrew his hand. He reached into the other pocket. He fumbled around the contents. His hand appeared to recognize that it had found what it was searching for. It grasped it in a fist, and withdrew from the pocket. It passed the object to the other hand, revealing a matchbook. The hand flipped open the matchbook, and the two hands together broke a match off from the book. They passed the match up to his mouth, which held it gingerly as the hands replaced the matchbook, and then the mouth dropped the match into his waiting left hand.

Lou struck the match on his elbow.

He let it flare for a few half-seconds, and then dropped it onto his pant leg. Whatever was controlling Lou's body looked down at his leg as the pants sputtered into flame. Acting on his own imperative, Louie slapped his gargantuan hand down on the flame, extinguishing it with the minimum amount of force.

Lou came back from wherever he had been. There was a visible change in his appearance, as he suddenly appeared more Tsar-ly.

Lou stood up, nodded to the Politician and the others as yet still in the room, and followed Ghengis Tron out to his train, with Boss, Louie, and Driver in tow. He turned to Demon Dave.

"I can supply a chauffer. The mute, uncommunicative one behind me will suffice for any automobile you can come up with."

Lou turned to Ghengis Tron.

"Where do you want me to be? Louie and Boss shall accompany me, and the three of us will do whatever you want. Driver will also follow orders, although I gather his services will be required elsewhere. I, sorry, we, are ready to go," he said, straightening his oversuit.

Louie and Boss also straightened their suits, and Driver looked around blankly at the ensemble. This was not because he is stupid, though, but merely because he had a pokerface that universal champions would envy.

Way atop a large skyscraper in the middle of Looneria stands the CEO of the largest private sector of Looneria, book publishing. His name is Lawrence McRoberts. And he is bent on destroying are companies below him.

Assistant: (In nervous voice)The attack on the pizza delivery man was not successful, sir.

McRobers: WHAT DO YOU MEAN "IT WAS NOT SUCCESSFUL"?

Assistant: He claimed To be "The Holy Macrel". He stopped the attack, sir.

:mad: McRoberts: SO UR SAYING A MAN IN TIGHTS FOILED MY PLANNED ATTACK ON A WEAK PIZZA GUY?

Assistant: We need pizza, sir. Where are we without it?

McRoberts: WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!

Assistant: But sir, he had an umbrella.

McRoberts: YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR MIND!! AN UMBRELLA!!!!!!!!! GET OUT NOOWW!!

Assistant: Yes sir. :(

Assistant Leaves office.

McRoberts: This "Holy Macrel" must be stopped. I must not let the Pizza Delivery Industry get ahead of us. Evil Laugh

OOC: I relinquish the control of any characters to their rightful creators on one condition. Interact with me. Only one character has said anything to Father Bob, and that was only once, and nobody has yet to even notice Mother Superior. This is why I feel like taking control. It's also why I cry myself to sleep at night... forgive my intrusion.

ooc: I wish my computer had a microphone so you guys could hear me laughing as I read that. It was the most beautiful culmination of inside jokes EVER!
IC:
Captain Pasty
“Did someone say ‘Stargate time?’ I can almost tolerate Stargate!” Captain Pasty threw himself over the couch, narrowly avoiding a collision with Father Bob. “Oh wait, I know what happens. The Stargate takes those people to some place and they start to explore. But something goes wrong! No one can figure out what’s happening until uber-nerd glasses guy puts the obvious pieces together. God, this show is so predictable, put Digimon back on.”

----------------------------------------------------
The Politician
Smiling, The Politician boarded the train. Once everyone was seated, it took off like rocket.

---------------------------------------------
G-Jay Inc.
Home of G-Jay.com
0 something or other hours

Somewhere in a dingy street outside the office of G-Jay, a pair of filmmakers were hard at work creating March of The Penguins 2: Penguinz in da Hood. They hit a slight snag, though, when a ultra fast locomotive parked on their subjects. And their equipment. And them.
“We’ve arrived!” The Politician stepped out of the train and into a black and white smear. “Everyone move out and get that server!”

ooc: Okay, the heroes will learn what’s going on shortly. I would like to say that G-Jay auctions are selling everything. Literally. Have fun with that.

with a beep, dave put his palm pilot back into his pocket and disapeared. "damn people and their messing upes of my damed freakin stealthy plan with their big damne trains and things."

Katherine hopped off the train, which she had barely gotten on in time. She ran around front to check on Jurassic Clark. He was doing a fine job of distracting security. Katherine quickly set to work helping steal the serv-wait, that's not why I am here. I must save my energy for the fight. I wonder what they have in the warehouse, it will take a lot to defeat the son of Robert Blood And so she wandered through the aisles, looking for anything she could use as a weapon, and partly suprised, partly appalled by how little innovation it would take. This place truly sold everything!

meanwhile at LoSI headquarters
Father Bob yawns

LoSI HQ:
Duct tape girl finally noticed the obviously drousy eyes of Father Bob and began poking him quickly, "You can't possibly be tired! Stargate is on! That Daniel is t3h sexy! though i suppose.... perhaps.... you don't share those feelings... Oh well... anybody want some popcorn? I bought some at Walmart... you know popcorn will save the world someday..." Still chattering incessantly, Duct tape Girl attempted to drag Father Bob off to the microwave because she knew the last time she had tried to produce a decent bag of consumable popcorn she had caught the microwave on fire... (but that was another story...) Maybe with God's blessing the microwave just might survive this one...

:eek:

LOE:

OOC: This assumes the train is in transit...

IC:

Tron then stepped out, after taking a swig of fermented goat's milk and having his retainers tune up his killer claw. He'd need that claw.

He saw the vast array of goods at G-Jay, and gasped like a kid in a candy store. He temporarily lost the airs of a great warrior, and said, "How glorious! Riches, so many riches!"

He shuddered with joyous anxiety, and said....shouting....

"IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL! I MUST HAVE IT!"

He then laughed nervously, and said, "Er....Freudian slip."

He then laughed, bellowing loudly, and rushed the complex like a man possessed. Inside, he scoured the aisles, and taking a note of what his comrades were doing, picked up a Cusinart, some diamonds, and a Katana, battle ready. His retainers would attach them on later.....

----------------

LOSI:

Laser Lad then said, "Mmmm...Stargate....the only non-anime show I will watch...."

He then drooled, and sat down on the couch. He then turned to Bob, and said, "So...you like Stargate? Sweet....I also like this show, especially when Apophis was killed off, and Teal'c finds out he has a kid, and Anubis battles the humans over Antarctica, and..."

He was talking, fast, and loudly, and like a typical fanboy.....

Father Bob had to try hard to delay Duct Tape girl's quest for buttery popped goodness until comercial break. Hmm, this one certainly is adhesive he though as he continued to try to shake her off. At last the opening sequence had ended and was replaced by a clorox bleach commercial. The popcorn set for the recomended time, and the correct blessings said, Father Bob returned to his conversation with Lazer Lad, properly excusing himself, of course, from Duct Tape Girl. "I find the most intriguing episodes were the ones which involved the alternate universes, which is truly a frightening concept to a holy man." Father Bob explained, "Also I enjoyed the episode with Seth, where Jacob Carter loses Sel'mac, and reconciles with his son. I wonder if a Goa'uld could truly live amongst us for so long without being detected. All those cults... it will destroy a man's faith. I suppose it's kind of-" His last sentence was cut off by a deafening *boom* coming from the direction of the microwave. "Oh my dear sweet Lord Chr-ooh show's back on." Indeed, the Sci-fi channel promotion (A bald man who unravels himself by pulling on his only hair) had ended, and the screen had come up on Stargate Command. The microwave will be dealt with at next break.

LoSI:

"Don't worry about the microwave, i got it covered" *flash**boom* "um... kay, maybe not. hey... werent we supposed to save the world?"


LoE:

a motorcycle stears itself through the streets of down town on it's way to the G-Jay builbing. If the people it passed listened closely, they could hear an incoherent mumbelling comming from the bike. It pulled to a stop above a man hole on 23rd street. A rider appeared. "Fine. if they want to do things their way, then i'll do things my way." Dave pryed open the man hole and dove in. a panel on the wall glowed dully. dave tapped the screen and the computer chirpped to life. "Good morning Dave!" Dave smiled (he always loved that joke). after a few more chirps, all of the lights in the building above and two blocks away went out. all exept the glow of the led lights on the servers.

"alright..."

"...it's show time!"

-7 minutes and 526.72 ft of air duct later-

Stan had been working all night. and now the damed power had gone out. but for some reason the servers had stayed on, and he couldn't figure out why. he was rolling around in his swivel chair, frantically pressing buttons. 'what next' he said out loud, 'is some crazy invisible guy going to sneak up on me and cut my throat?'

Dave appeared and drew his sword. "Something like that..."

Father Bob had to try hard to delay Duct Tape girl's quest for buttery popped goodness until comercial break. Hmm, this one certainly is adhesive he though as he continued to try to shake her off. At last the opening sequence had ended and was replaced by a clorox bleach commercial. The popcorn set for the recomended time, and the correct blessings said, Father Bob returned to his conversation with Lazer Lad, properly excusing himself, of course, from Duct Tape Girl. "I find the most intriguing episodes were the ones which involved the alternate universes, which is truly a frightening concept to a holy man." Father Bob explained, "Also I enjoyed the episode with Seth, where Jacob Carter loses Sel'mac, and reconciles with his son. I wonder if a Goa'uld could truly live amongst us for so long without being detected. All those cults... it will destroy a man's faith. I suppose it's kind of-" His last sentence was cut off by a deafening *boom* coming from the direction of the microwave. "Oh my dear sweet Lord Chr-ooh show's back on." Indeed, the Sci-fi channel promotion (A bald man who unravels himself by pulling on his only hair) had ended, and the screen had come up on Stargate Command. The microwave will be dealt with at next break.

LOSI:

Laser Lad was amazed. Somebody who wasn't bored with his endless praise of Stargate! He smiled, and spurred on.

He then said to Father Bob, "Who would win-O'Neill or Captain Kirk? Come on, you know you wanna see the two spar! I'd pay to see that; O'Neill would so kick Captain Kirk in the balls."

"Stargate is illogical,"Lady Squid announced,"Why would a wormhole be blue? If it is a gap in spacetime, then it would not reflect light and would be invisible. Turn it to the Discovery Channel; they are having a three-hour documentary on cephalapods!"

"Illogical?" Father Bob asked the lady scientist, "Let me tell you something. Over 100 years ago, one of the European schools of Science held a great contest in order to name the greatest scientist/mathematician of their time. Naturally plenty of well-known scientists took part in this academic competition. There was one question. Shortly before Sir Isaac Newton died, he had stated that he could prove his model of the Solar System. The school had gathered these scientists together so that they could find a logical proof for the solar system. The men all worked very hard, but no solution could be found. Finally, one young scientist, whose name I have long forgotten, developed an accurate mathematical model and ran it for a two body solar system, a sun and one planet. The model worked smoothly, and the scientist found that the process repeated itself forever, with out fail. He ran it through with a three-body solar system, one sun, one planet, and a comet. No matter how many times he ran the model through his mathematics, they never matched up again. The solar sytem he created varied in different and random way each time. Logically, our solar system should not work."
Father Bob took a deep breath, and continued. "Recently, a team of researchers working for an independent state-side firm found the same results as this long-forgotten scientist had, bringing the case once more into light. This has provided our church a foothold for us to mathematically prove God to the nonbelievers. So back to logic, if a blue wormhole being illogical means that this otherwise completely entertaining show should not exist, than shouldn't an illogical solar system mean that all life shouldn't exist? Are you going to ignore something because it's illogical, or enjoy it for what it's- oohhh show's back on!" Father Bob turned his complete attention to the screen and mumbled "Kirk ain't got nothin' on this!"

Lou strolled out of the train. As he stepped onto the aforementioned black-and-white smear, he lost his footing, but quickly regained it, having been forced to have experience in balance as well as chloroform. With not even a change in facial expression, Lou strolled towards this, the main warehouse/server home of G-Jay. He strolled through the opening that had been left by Tron's entrance. He strolled to the weaponry aisle, and, without pausing to decide if he wanted to stroll down the aisle, strolled down the aisle. After some more strolling, he stopped abruptly, and was immediately knocked down by Boss and Louie following him and having a bit more trouble stopping. Louie got up. Boss got up. Lou got up. Lou turned ninety degrees to face one of the racks of weapons. They were in the c-section of the weaponry aisle.

"Tell me, Louie, what do you see?" asked Lou.

"Buncha spiky things. Why?" answered Louie.

"And you, Boss, what do you see?" asked Lou again, ignoring Louie's question.

"Caltrops, Lou. Jeez. Why are we looking at caltrops?" said Boss.

"Because, Boss, I am no good at fighting. Running is more my style. Caltrops seem to be a good idea. I wonder, are our shoes priests?"

"Dunno. What's a priest?"

"It's a shoe that saves your sole. In other words, it has a sole made of or reinforced with steel or iron. Very useful if someone else has already had the same idea as me. Are our shoes priests?"

"Nope. Jeez, I think I see what you're trying to do. Think it'll work?"

"Worth a shot. Louie, do you have any bags? Canvas will do, but any other type would be appreciated. Yes? Good. Load up with as many caltrops, er, spiky things, as you can with those bags. After you're done with that, our next stop will be the footwear aisle. We're going to find ourselves some priests."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Several minutes later, Lou, Louie, and Boss were loaded up with whatever they thought useful. They made their way towards the server housing, occasionally picking up a souvenier or something that they thought useful.

Father Bob turned his complete attention to the screen and mumbled "Kirk ain't got nothin' on this!"

LOSI:

Laser Lad then said, "I agree."

He too became fixated onto the screen. He then said, "So, Father, why are we here?"

LOE:

Tron, meanwhile, sauntered about menacingly, smashing nonessential objects in the G-Jay storage bay, like old Pokemon cards and copies of ET for the NES. He then let out a huge laugh, screechy and tinny in its voice-boxy majesty, and then stomped on the floor. Hopefully, the guards would come running now.

He then said, "So, Father, why are we here?"

"We are here," Father Bob answered, standing up and turning off the tv [commercials, don't panic], "To save the world!" He whirled around, "Isn't that right, Captain Pasty? Now are we going to stand around watching Stargate all day, or are we going to go out there and shut down this politician once and for all?!?"

At that very moment in time, give or take 5 minutes

Katherine finished sharpening her two steel yardsticks, and turned off the rotating stone she was using. She bound the lower 6 inches with leather strips she had found, strapped them to her back and walked out of the warehouse, completely satisfied. Hooked to her belt she had a pneumatic nail gun, connected to an air compressor mounted on a robotic dolly which was programmed to follow the orange strip now tied to her leg. On her back, beside the yardsticks she had a large spear. in her left hand she had a chakram [see Xena: Warrior Princess] which was studded with thorns, and a long bull whip was coiled by her side. "Excellent," she commented on the generous warehouse, "They had more than I could ever expect."

Charles "Chuckle-nuts" Johnson Blair stood in the street holding his sign high and harrassing the passer-bys, "Jesus saves you bastards! Renounce your material lives and join the suffering of the christ." He had been homeless for 17 years now and never felt better. The great Christ smiled upon this lost soul.
"Pssst, hey you, you wanna know Jesus? Come over here."
Chuckle-nuts Blair followed the girl's voice, heading down the alleyway which lead to the loading docks at G-Jay. As her turned the corner he arched his back in pain as Katherine's bullwhip lashed out. She placed the the thorned chakram on his head, and stepped back, admiring her work. Chuckle-nuts backed against a the wall, his eyes wide in wonder and fear. He heard four quick air-rushing sounds, like the sounds those kids made with their damned paint-ball guns in the park, and he couldn't move his arms or legs. Katherine returned the nail gun to her belt and took the spear from her back. As he watched her aproach him with the long spear, Charles "Chuckle-nuts" Johnson Blair's only thought was "Father, forgive her, for she knows know what she does." And then everything went black.
Katherine took the chakram back from his head and walked away. "Perfect, absolutely perfect."

LOSI:

"Well,"the Lady Squid replied to Father Bob's 'why aren't we out saving the wolrd' speech,"First of all, we don't know what part of the world needs saving or from what or when."

ooc: I have returned from the vicious land of over-work and depression. Now, we strike!
IC:
Captain Pasty
A loud buzzing suddenly filled the room. Captain Pasty awoke with a start, his thrashed limbs striking those unfortunate enough to be near him.

“The Crisis Alarm!” He exclaimed. He paused, thinking for a moment. “Waaaait, we don’t have a crisis alarm. That’s just the smoke detector.” Another pause. “The smoke detector? AHHH, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THE MICROWAVE?!?!?” Grabbing a conveniently place fire extinguisher, the Captain put out the flames. Soon, tacky hype music bleared from the TV.

“We interrupt this program to give you an emergence bulletin: the headquarters of internet auction site “G-Jay” are being raided by an unknown Evil organization. More on this developing story, and a special investigation on conveniently placed newscasts, at eleven. But first, Captain Pasty watch out for that skateboard.” There was a shriek as the Captain slipped on a skateboard and fell flat on his back. Jumping up, he bellowed:

“TO THE PASTY MOBILE!!!” He charged out of the basement, the rest of the league in tow, and burst into the garage. Here his little red bug was parked. Glancing between the tiny car and assembled heroes, he muttered, “Probably not,” and flipped a switch on the wall. There was a whine of gears as the red VW bug was replaced by a hideous cross between a VW bus and an ice cream truck. What appeared to be a massive jet engine stuck out of the back. Muttering under his breath about stupid inside jokes, he turned back to his team.

“I present to you, THE LEAGUE MOBILE! I’m almost sure it’s perfectly safe. All aboard!”

The Politician
“Will someone grab that server so we can get out of here?” Despite his commands, The Politician was in no rush. He was actually starting to enjoy himself.

“Hmm, what’s this? Scientology for Idiots? Why yes, yes it is. Now if only I could find- I don’t believe it! Magic Pony and The Happy-Fun Gnome Land, I’ve been looking for this since...” He trailed off. “I mean... uh... that is to say...”

LOSI:
Laser Lad said, "Sweet! Let's go to work!"

He then marched, actually more like skipped like a little girl, to the League Mobile, while whistling his own theme music, a faux-heroic theme he made up on the spot. Alas, he was trying way too hard.....

LOE:

Tron then ran through the complex, and encountered a bunch of old Windows ME CDs. He then yelled, in his grandstnading voice, "F**KIN' WINDOWS ME!" and smashed them all to bits, before finding some copies of Love Hina. He smiled, stashed them in his back pocket, and then continued on, running towards the server hub.

"I swear, that microwave thing, was totally NOT my fault!" Duct tape girl shouted to Captain Pastey as he flew out the door, "It was totally the father's fault! He's the one who blessed...the...micro...wave?" She slowed down considerably from chasing the Captain after spotting the vehicle that it was assumed she would take... "that has seriously got to be the most.. BAD ASS VEHICLE that i have ever seen!" Her eyes widened as she stared at the jet engines. "So, when do we get to leave? and can i drive?"

OOC: By the way, HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!

"I believe that we should open the garage doors first," suggested the Lady Squid.

"I believe that we should open the garage doors first," suggested the Lady Squid.

Laser Lad then said, "Yeah, that would be nice..." He thought the vehicle was alright, but it was no looker. He waited to see what it would do performance wise.

Captain Pasty
“No, Duct Tape Girl, you can’t drive.” Captain Pasty grinned as he attached a spearhead shaped cowcatcher to the front of the League Mobile. “And as for the garage door, I found it didn’t open quite high enough. No worries, though, I’ve fixed that problem.” He hit a button on the wall and the garage door began to rise... along with the entire roof of the garage. Still grinning, the Captain hopped into the driver’s seat.

“All right, folks, thank you for choosing LoSI for your traveling needs today. If you’ll all just get on board, I’d like to take a moment to aquatint you with our vessel. Exits are located to your left, right, back, and, if you don’t buckle up, front.” Still talking, the Captain reached for the push button shifter he had doctored with post its and a sharpie. It was currently at “Not Fast,” so he pressed “Almost Fast.” The engine revved to life.

“Should an emergency arise, you will be instructed to put your head between your legs and kiss your butt goodbye.” He pressed the button labeled “More Faster.” Now, the whine of the jet engine joined the potpourri of sounds.

“Oh, and to the owner of the black hummer: I have warned you about parking that monster in front of my driveway!” He press the next button, boldly labeled “FAST.” The vehicle lurched down the driveway and slammed into the aforementioned hummer. The black beast of a car went airborne, landing in a swimming pool several blocks away. The League Mobile hurtled down the road, picking up speed.

“eighty... eighty one... all right boys and girls, buckle up! This baby’s got two speeds: fast and woah! What was that?!?!” As the League Mobile hit eighty eight mph, the Captain hit the last button on the shifter: “Oh No You Didn’t!” The ice cream truck/bus took off with a flash, flaming tire tracks, and a whole host of copyright infringements.

-------------------------------------
Meanwhile...
Production was up and running for The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D 2: This Time it Blows Harder. Sharkboy leapt heroically to the aid of Lavagirl- and was taken out mid jump as the League Mobile crashed through the studio. Lavagirl barely had a fraction of a second to scream before she was incinerated by the twenty-foot flame coming out of the jet engine.

And the Lord saw that it was good.

-------------------------------------------------
Captain Pasty
Jurassic Clark liked being a distraction. The odd man wearing a ski cap ran around pretending to be different types of dinosaur as his theme music played. Wait a moment, that wasn’t his theme music. That was the music of an ice cream-

THUD!

The League Mobile decided it wanted to park where Clark was standing. Clark was thrown into the air and shattered the front window of G-Jay Inc. as only a lifeless body can.

The Captain dug his way out of the air bag and turned to check on the rest of the League. “Anyone dead? No? Guess we’ll have to try harder next time, then...”

--------------------------------------------------
The Politician
There was the shatter of glass and the splattering sound that only a lifeless body hitting linoleum can make. The Politician ran to the window and saw a vehicle he could only describe as awkward. Then, he saw Captain Pasty at the wheel.

“We’ve got company!”

Father Bob eyed the bus suspiciously. Not because of it's hideous form, or the dubious rocket engine, which he was pretty certain did not pass emitions, but because of where it would lead to. She would be waiting for him. Is he ready to take on his father's killer? There is only one way to find out. He climbed aboard, strapped himself in, and promptly announced "The microwave was not my fault! I blessed the popcorn, which, it may be remembered, came out perfectly."

Meanwhile
Katherine waited patiently, surveying the work the League of Evil was doing around her. She considered lending a hand, but reminded herself why she was here. The Father.

Moments later, Chronilogically after Dancing Penguin's recent post as written below...
"NOOOOOOO! Clark!" Katherine yelled as the lifeless body flew through the glass facade. "Uh oh, Jurassic Bark is going to be so upset." Then the realization of the Politician's words came to her. "Wait, company... the League is here!" She walked up to the ugliest vehicle she'd ever seen, giving innocent smiles to everyone who climbed out, and even helping a few, until the last passenger exited...

Father Bob laughed as the LoSI Mobile cut through the movie studio. Huh, He thought, as Lavagirl was incinerated, God's going to love this one!. As the vehicle came to a full and complete stop, with a sound which reminded him of a lifeless body being thrown threw plate glass and landing on cold, hard linoleum. He waited for everyone to exit the vehicle, then stood up, drew his ping pong paddles, and faced his foe.
"Katherine!" he said, smiling "It's been such a long time, so you're Mother Superior now, huh. And to think of all those years I baby sitted you..."
"Yes, Robert," Katherine said, "It seems like just yesterday... and then, remember, after my senior prom when we... uh... nevermind all that now! The past means nothing, your secret dies now!"

The Politician
There was the shatter of glass and the splattering sound that only a lifeless body hitting linoleum can make. The Politician ran to the window and saw a vehicle he could only describe as awkward. Then, he saw Captain Pasty at the wheel.

“We’ve got company!”

Ghengis Tron turned, ran to the side of the Politician, trampling over any number of items that would not be missed (except for a few copies of Night of the Living Dead) and said, "My Lord! Grab the server...I will deal with these pestulant fools and their...."

He then spotted the League Mobile, and then laughed evilly, as evilly as a guy with a voice box could-actually, he kinda laughed in a halted, clipped fashion, as he said:

"HA! HA! HA! *cough*crapmobile*cough* HA! HA! HA!"

He then struck a pose, coughed a very deep, phlegmy cough, and said, loudly: "Enough of this. I am Ghengis Tron, the Great Emperor of the Mongols-and you will rue the day you met me! Your crapmobile only shows the mewling kittens you are and your mewling....worthles....mewlingness...aw darn it....pomposity!"

He then composed himself, thrust his fist forward and glared at Pasty, saying, "Anyway....my fist, your face! BRING IT!"

-------

Meanwhile, Laser Lad got up, and said, "What a rush! That thing really can motor!" His sense of youthful enthusiasm had not been demolished by the crash, evidently-though he was bleeding profusely from his head.

He then slapped a large gauze to his forehead, and said to Capt. Pasty, amazingly oblivious to the giant mechanical Mongolian anachronism-cum-chimera-bot near him, "So, where are the bad guys?"

"So, where are the bad guys?"
Captain Pasty
"The bad guys are right over there." The Captain put a hand on Laser Lad's head and rotated him 180 degrees to face Ghengis Tron. "Now, you be a good boy and play nice with the cyborg zombie thing. I've got a politician to assassinate..."

------------------------------------------
The Politician
"Oh yeah, that's real clever. Ghengis? Deal with them." The Politician turned to check on the server team's progress, calling out, "And make it hurt."

------------------------------------------
Captain Pasty
"Well shoot..." Staring at the ginormous mesh of machine and Mongol, Captain Pasty began to wonder why it was God hated him so...

Captain Pasty
"The bad guys are right over there." The Captain put a hand on Laser Lad's head and rotated him 180 degrees to face Ghengis Tron. "Now, you be a good boy and play nice with the cyborg zombie thing. I've got a politician to assassinate..."

------------------------------------------
The Politician
"Oh yeah, that's real clever. Ghengis? Deal with them." The Politician turned to check on the server team's progress, calling out, "And make it hurt."

------------------------------------------
Captain Pasty
"Well shoot..." Staring at the ginormous mesh of machine and Mongol, Captain Pasty began to wonder why it was God hated him so...

Ghenghis looked Pasty and Laser Lad over, and smiled, saying, "You two....are no threat. I have taken down sultans, kings, and petulant princes with more power and spunk than you. And they were classier dressers."

He then yelled, raising his powerfist into the air, "PRAY FOR A QUICK DEATH WHILE YOU STILL CAN!" before proceeding to jack up the power setting on the fist to 11, then triumphantly slamming it into the ground, causing a large tremor, that knocked Laser Lad off his feet.

---------

Laser Lad was toppled by the blast...the whole experience hurt, and he was not going to take this lightly. He checked his laser, and turned it on....only to get an angry message in Cyrillic saying "Low Battery."

"Dangit!" One more reason not to trust a mysterious Russian scientist on G-Jay's competitor......

He then slapped his pack, trying to reset the laser gun; hopefully, it would work again, a simple physical blow would suffice to get it straight. The Laser then fired a stray shot at a rack of Ronco Food Spoilers....and then died.

He was back in business. Now, he'd have to find a new battery....he'd have to get a fresh one from his fannypack. He yelled to Pasty and the others, "Cover me!" as he searched for the special Highly Risky Radioactive Batteries that powered the gun.

Captain Pasty
"Guard your eyes!" The Captain yelled as he pulled up his shirt. His ultra-white stomache flesh caught the sunlight and reflected it with blinding intensity at Ghengis.

"Hurry up!" The Captain grimaced as he felt his skin start to tingle, he would start burning soon...

Captain Pasty
"Guard your eyes!" The Captain yelled as he pulled up his shirt. His ultra-white stomache flesh caught the sunlight and reflected it with blinding intensity at Ghengis.

"Hurry up!" The Captain grimaced as he felt his skin start to tingle, he would start burning soon...

OOC: Technically, the Powerfist was supposed to do just a massive quake, but a blinding flash of light kinda suits Ghengis and the Power Setting of 11. I'll allow it. Last post for tonight.

IC:

Ghengis was thrown back by Pasty's powers, tumbling over and slamming into that same rack of Ronco Food Spoilers that was hit by Laser Lad. A little dazed, he got up, stretched himself out, and growled at Pasty, "You....."

He then picked up the rack, and with all of his turbocharged might, threw it at Pasty, yelling, "...WILL PAY!"

When Ganghis Tron hurld the Ronco Food Spoilers, the Lady Squid was just able to reach out her freakishly stretchy arm and catch it before it sqaushed Captain Pasty.

"Ow!" she yelled, wishing she had not done that, "That thing is heavy!" her tenticle-ish arm was broken.

When Ganghis Tron hurld the Ronco Food Spoilers, the Lady Squid was just able to reach out her freakishly stretchy arm and catch it before it sqaushed Captain Pasty.

"Ow!" she yelled, wishing she had not done that, "That thing is heavy!" her tenticle-ish arm was broken.

Ghengis was flummoxed at this sudden intervention. It seemed Pasty had more costumed retainers, all with questionable taste in clothing. He then stood there for a moment, shook his head, and said, "Good catch, milady. TRY THIS!"

He then breathed in, and unleashed another one of his powers-the Really Scary Voice box Voice. Finding a karaoke machine tuned to ABBA's "Dancing Queen," he then procceeded to take away whatever dignity the song had left, drowning it in a sea of grinding electronic horror and off-key screeching, and directing the horrid product at the LOSI in a turgid sonic wave.

---------

Laser Lad, meanwhile, found a spare battery, and plugged it back in. He then ran to the side of Squid Lady, and charging it up, fired his laser, sending a beam of dangerous light at the Mongolian Robot Monstrosity, before being bowled over himself by the terrible music.

Ghengis then howled, and then fell down.....

...and then got back up, merely focusing the pain into more horrid singing. All Laser Lad could do was say, "Dangit! Guys, I need some help!"

Laser Lad, meanwhile, found a spare battery, and plugged it back in. He then ran to the side of Squid Lady, and charging it up, fired his laser, sending a beam of dangerous light at the Mongolian Robot Monstrosity, before being bowled over himself by the terrible music.

Ghengis then howled, and then fell down.....

...and then got back up, merely focusing the pain into more horrid singing. All Laser Lad could do was say, "Dangit! Guys, I need some help!"

"Does he have an off switch?!?!" Duct tape girl shouted over the horrendous singing, searching herself for options. She clearly had been away from this super hero bussiness too long... ONe battle and they were already potentially losing. though, if she could just fashion the right bit of tape into the right thing they possibly had an advantage... Duct tape never got unstuck once it was placed down.. especially when placed on sentient beings... "Even if he doesn't we could always tape over his voice box or something... Pastey! What is up with this guy?"