NationStates Jolt Archive

This is the official Lancre Cup XII thread. All the results will be posted here, and any commentary (celebrations, threats, team rosters) from involved nations is welcome, so sit back and enjoy the ride.









(And please don't kill me if I accidentally call it soccer.)

Troon vs Andrewmania
Docere vs Rachels Insanity
Dregruk vs Jamiezomonia
Moth Balls vs Damage Incorporated
Zamboni Island vs DTAS LAND
Sunstate vs Bongostan
Gandhi Followers vs Umgullia
Harisia vs Je Marques
Utter complete idiots vs Sliponia
Aamericaa vs Tonca
Cristia West vs LostLotheria
Mother Culture vs Morporkian Lunatics
Wash Baskets vs GNY Embassy
Jothopolis vs Ultana
GROEGER vs Cicadalek
Soyuz 1 vs The Harlot of Babylon
Fartington vs Determined cows
Sirocco vs Yesnono
SAF has drawn directly into the next round

For those of you from other regions reading this thread, the acrophilic region of Lancre regularly (well, used to be regular, anyway) hosts a football (i.e. soccer; Sirocco would call that other game "rugby for fairies") tournament. All of its nations are automagically enrolled, but may opt out; sadly, you must be a regional member to participate. Using a software program of Sirocco's and Bellenia's design, scores are determined and then for example Yesnono writes humorous stories about what goes on in the games.

For more information, have a NSwiki article:
The Lancre Cup (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/The_Lancre_Cup)

Lancre Cup XII
Round One
Introduction

"The Lancre Cup Organizing Committee (of Yesnono) would like to offer a special welcome to those nations who are new (since Cup X): Cicadalek, Cristia West, Fartington, GROEGER, Harisia, Je Marques, Morporkian Lunatics, Moth Balls, Mother Culture, Soyuz 1, Sunstate, Ultana, and Wash Baskets. Welcome to the zaniness.

The LCOC(Y) would also like to make a brief mention of those nations lost: -Arynth-, Blu-Tac, Earth 2, Extreme Dictators, Fatheaded Edward, Hippy Dudes, Hoge, Jockey Canada, and Vtorbetin."

The committee then signaled for the start of the Three Hour History of the Cup, complete with interpretive dance, but the Dregruk fans in the stadium starting practicing their new chant of "Kill, Kill, Kill…" and the dancers refused to go out. They sent out the teams instead.


Heat One

Troon vs Andrewmania

The first match started out slowly, a match of defensive wits, with no scoring in the first half. This so surprised the LCOC(Y), who had been shown tapes of past Cups that they come out from under their seats to watch the second half.

Having not seen the first half of the game, the committee had no way of knowing that the team of tabbies wearing Troon True Blue was in fact substituted for the real Troon team, who were tied up in their locker room.

After the game, the recently rescued Troon captain told a reporter, "Those cats didn't do too bad, although we might have to add some dogs for offence… Oh, and I wouldn't worry about that Andrewmania player. The fluff balls don't look rabid."

Troon 0, Andrewmania 2


* * *


Docere vs Rachels Insanity

Rachel Insanity's "Crazy Pete" walked out with a stockpile of chickens and custard. He started his routine as the ref blew his whistle for the start of play, hoping to distract the Docere team.

Unfortunately, as a slight miscalculation, he had never practiced in front of his own team. They all found the inflatable chickens so hilarious that they were literally rolling on the ground laughing while Docere scored three goals, with only Pete attempting a humorous defense.

Even after Pete was pulled from the field, things did not improve. "Frankly," said the coach "slipping on our own custard was a bit embarrassing."

Docere 5, Rachels Insanity 0


* * *


Dregruk vs Jamiezomonia

The chants of "Kill, Kill, Kill…" from the fan(atic)s of Lancre Cup X winning Dregruk were growing louder. It was time…

The Jamiezomonia team was still attempting to appear confident. They were, after all, the best football playing newly minted Jamiezomonians that money could buy. Nevertheless, the crowd seemed to know something that they did not know.

Dregruk started quickly, breaking six legs and scoring three goals in 8 minutes of play. Soon, Jamiezomonia was out of players and Dregruk was ahead, 7 over 0. The Dregrukians decided their work was done, and they'd watch the rest of the game from the pub across from the stadium. They apparently weren't watching very hard, however, because as soon as they left, the Jamiezomonia Captain started crawling toward the ball, despite a fractured leg, several major friction burns and a severe concussion. In a later interview from Yesnono City General Hospital, he said his only regret was that he hadn't practiced crawling.

Dregruk 7, Jamiezomonia 6


* * *


Moth Balls vs Damage Incorporated

After a rather longish break to clean up, Moth Balls and Damage Incorporated took the field. Both teams, new to the Lancre Cup series, looked a little green at what they had just witnessed.

Other then that, it was a perfectly ordinary game.

Moth Balls 5, Damage Incorporated 3


* * *


Zamboni Island vs DTAS LAND

Zamboni Island came into this cup vowing to win more games then they had in our last complete cup. This didn't seem like it would be too hard, seeing as they hadn't won any last time. It was quickly apparent that they had indeed practiced and trained towards their highly admirable goal. The game progressed at high speed. Both sides had more then 12 attempts on goal by the 85th minute, but neither had scored.

DTAS LAND decided that it was time to bring out their secret weapon. An assistant coach was sent into the locker rooms to bring out the huge box labeled with even bigger writing "Top SECRET weapon." The crowd cheered, hoping for flamethrowers, alligators, or some other typical Lancre Cup excitement. They pried open the box. The whole stadium craned their necks in unison, and then sighed in disappointment. It was only player, not even a very big one.

The new player walked out to the center of the field, faced the Zamboni Island players, and growled "Boo." All the Zamboni players fainted, giving DTAS LAND free run of the field.


Zamboni Island 0, DTAS LAND 3


* * *


Sunstate vs Bongostan

As the Sunstate team took the field there were vast mutterings in the stadium. "Why do they have a penguin playing for them?" "It must be their national critter…" "Their national critter? But it's our national critter! CRITTER THIEVES!!" Eventuality settled down and decided unanimously to root for the "cute little penguin" playing for the team from "whatsits- new nation- oh I forget…"

Which made the ending that much more tragic.

It was 0-0 late in the game , Sunstate was pressing hard when a Bongostan player attempted to steal the ball from the penguin. He managed to steal both the ball and the penguin. The ref later explained, "Look, two roll-y black and white thingies go into the goal, two goals. That's how it works."

LCOC(Y) fired the refs immediately. The Yesnono Parliament is currently considering getting an army, so it can consider a war against Bongostan "to teach them not to mess with penguins."

Sunstate 0, Bongostan 2

Heat Two

Gandhi Followers vs Umgullia

The Umgullian team took advantage of playing first for the day by arriving a full hour ahead of schedule. Half the team went to work sweeping the field for any stray land mines (explainable by a bad experience in the past, perhaps) while the other half of the team went to work carting bricks onto the field. By the time the ref arrived, they had a very nice wall build protecting the entire front of the goal. Satisfied, they went inside to change. The Umgullia team came out hopping and yelling, "Who superglued our boots together?! Again?!" and falling over.

The Gandhi Followers team set up a row of seats in the middle of the field to watch the fun. After the break, when they switched ends (Umgullia’s captain “Oops, forgot about that”) the Followers scored one goal, then went back to laughing at the Umgullians.

Gandhi Followers 1, Umgullia 0


* * *


Harisia vs Je Marques

LCOC(Y) cleared the field, saying “Well, at least it’s not craters.”

“Craters would be more fun!” yelled a voice from the crowd. “What’s with the tameness?! Hey, you, in the jersey.” The Je Marques captain turned. “We want a kicking, screaming battle with banned weapons, you hear? Otherwise we start one against you!”

The Je Marques team took the treat to heart, and, with the help of cleats filed to a point, climbed their way over Harisia to the second round and the hearts of the bloodthirsty fans.

Harisia 3, Je Marques 5



* * *


UCI vs Sliponia

UCI was hoping to spoil the hopes of the Sliponian people. They’d come with a full pound of itching powder, but it had broken during the flight (thankfully only on the Tonca players). They’d tried to tie Sliponia’s shoelaces together, but Sliponia had hired armed guards. They even tried the old standby, kidnapping the team, only to find themselves in the wrong hotel.

In the end, the UCI players were so tired from running around trying to win that they were too tired to play.

UCI 3, Sliponia 6


* * *


Aamericaa vs Tonca

The Toncan team, representatives of our beloved delegate, were itching for a win in this cup. Past cups had not treated them kindly, even Cup XI got their hope up, only to dash them. They were ready to fight for this one.

Aamericaa joined the fray. The battle was closely fought, eye to eye, toe to toe, flamethrower to flamethrower, but in the end, Tonca took it.

Aamericaa 3, Tonca 4


* * *


Cristia West vs LostLotheria

A play in two acts.

Act One
Joe: (A fan who is apparently to lazy to read the score board himself):”Who’s playing next?”
Steve: (Another fan) “Cristia West vs LostLotheria, you lazy _____!”
Joe: “No need for any of that sort of thing… Wait, LostLotheria who almost won the last cup? Playing a new team?”
Steve: “Yup”
Joe: “Bet you they score 8 or more.”

Act Two
Steve: “Damn.”

Cristia West 5, LostLotheria 9


* * *


Mother Culture vs Morporkian Lunatics

Mother Culture and Morporkian Lunatics started their runs in the Lancre cup in the usual way. Mother Culture made a show of unpacking exactly 100 footballs with extreme care. Morporkian Lunatics opened unmarked crates a tiny bit, peaked in, then ran away very fast.

When they lined up to start, everything was normal, and the LCOC(Y) was happy that the zaniness had returned to its normal lower levels. And then a plague of locusts descended, eating the netting out of the goals. The LCOC(Y) decided this was a good time to stop for the day.

Mother Culture 5, Morporkian Lunatics 4






Will they get new nets? Will there be giant squirrels? Will you win? Who will win? Stay tuned for Heat Three (sometime Wednesday) and the rest of Lancre Cup XII.

Feel free to talk in here, guys. it's all empty and echoy with just me.

Heat Three


Wash Baskets vs GNY Embassy

Wash Basket's tactic of building football players rather than training them seemed brilliant at first. GNY's captain was so frustrated that he kicked one, breaking 4 bones in his foot. Then it started to rain.

"Robots on rampage! Rock!" yelled a Yesnono spectator. "This is more like it."

The Leaderless GNY team seemed uncertain at this turn of events. The new malfunctioning robots seemed even more violent then their previous incarnation. They hid. The rain continued…

"They're rusting? They're rusting! Yeah!" The GNY fans were joyful, but it was a little bit too late.

Wash Baskets 5, GNY Embassy 4


* * *


Jothopolis vs Ultana

Once the Wash Basket's team was carted off the field, the Jothopolis team, veterans of four rounds of LCX, took the field. They seemed confused about why the Ultana team didn't join them. "Maybe they're scared," joked the Jothopolis keeper. "Scared of the Bomb in the stadium" replied an Ultana player from the farthest reaches of Yesnono Stadium. In the momentary confusion this statement (along with a few well-placed pyrotechnics) produced, the rest of the Ultana team jumped out from under the benches and scored a few times.

But in the end, it didn't really matter. They got flattened.

Jothopolis 7, Ultana 4


* * *


GROEGER vs Cicadalek

Cicadelek had a plan. It was a secret plan. Last week, they had been pretending to practice while they sent out a midfielder to get bazookas. In the game, they waited until GROEGER was ahead and they figured they really needed the help, then they sent for the secret weapons.

The Captain sent the midfielder out "to get the stuff, you know, the 'stuff.'" "Are you sure?" asked the player. "Yes, I'm sure. Get 'the stuff' out, get it ready, and get it to the guys. Do it now."

The Midfielder retrieved his stash of 4 tons of Bazooka brand bubble gum from the locker room and distributed it. The LCOC(Y) stopped the game when the ref got stuck to the field.

GROEGER 2, Cicadalek 1


* * *


Soyuz 1 vs The Harlot of Babylon

When the field was almost back to normal, but with a faint lingering fruity smell, it was time for the next game. The teams took the field. The smell wafted on the breeze. Every fan in the stadium decided that the smell was making them hungry, and it was time for a lunch break. The stands were empty.

Suddenly a giant squirrel entered the stadium, apparently looking for food. The Soyuz captain, who was stuck to the ref after an accidental collision, yelled "Look, Giant Marauding Squirrel!" Crickets. "No one is going to believe that a Giant Squirrel came in, will they?" he asked.
"No."
"Now he's trying to eat the ball… We could try to stop him."
"Nah, too much effort."
"Right then, heads, we win, tails we lose. Loser explains the really big acorn thingy."

Soyuz 1 scored 1, The Harlot of Babylon 2


* * *


Fartington vs Determined cows

Halfway through the game there was a rain of ravioli. Beef ravioli. The anger this caused in the Determined Cows team scared Fartington. They hid in the only available spot on the field, a huge rodent footprint.

The fans were annoyed too. "Right after we buy lunch...' they muttered.

When asked about this at the press conference later, the Fartington captain said "We hadn't planned for ravioli. Rains of spaghetti, manicotti, yes, but ravioli…." He walked of shaking his head.

Fartington 3, Determined cows 5


* * *


Sirocco 4, Yesnono 2

The Yesnono fans were delirious with joy to be cheering on their own team at home. The even went along with the LCOC(Y)'s silly chants. "Give me a 'Y'!" "Y." "Give me a 'E'!" "E." "Give me a 'S'!" "S." "Give me a 'N'!" "N." "Give me a 'O'!" "O." "Give me a 'N'!" "N." "Give me a 'O'!" "O." "Give me a 'N'!" "N." "Give me a 'O'!" "O." "What's that spell?!" "Yesnonononono….?" replied the crowd.

The small clump of Siroccian die hard fans laughed. "HA!"

"Right, like you lot are allowed to laugh," started the Yesnono cheer master "Last time you tried your name, there were three more Rs then Os."

Sirocco 4, Yesnono 2

SAF vs Jothopolis
Wash Baskets vs Docere
Andrewmania vs LostLotheria
GROEGER vs Mother Culture
Bongostan vs Sliponia
Tonca vs Je Marques
Sirocco vs Determined cows
The Harlot of Babylon vs Dregruk
Gandhi Followers vs DTAS LAND

Round Two, part one


SAF vs. Jothopolis

SAF had the advantage of going into this match fresh. They bragged, "The Jothopolis team must be tired. Not only did they have to play in the first round, but they've spent all week running around being excited and shouting off challenges. They'll sleep through the game."

"Oh, yeah…" said the Jothopolis captain, "I guess you must be right. Here, have one of these brownies we made especially to celebrate your impending win."

Hours after the press conference SAF apologized that they had to pull half its players out off the cup because of food poisoning. They vowed revenge.

Jothopolis responded, "We never said we were good cooks."

SAF 1, Jothopolis 4

* * *

Wash Baskets vs. Docere

The Docere captain approached the press conference with extreme care. When he was asked why, he explained, "Well, we've been getting these threats, see…"

"Threats of utter annihilation at the hands of a vastly superior force?" asked an eager reporter."

"No, they were threatening that we would win." There were puzzled looks. This was new. "You see, whenever anything has seemed to be going well so far in this cup, it has been a very bad sign. So these prank calls are freaking us out. We're working on getting them stopped."

They were in luck. Just before the start of the game authorities announced they had traced the calls. Unfortunately, the Docere team's spirits were severely dampened (soaked, in fact) by the later announcement 1o minutes into the game that the keeper's 88-year-old grandmother had been arrested on conspiracy charges.

Wash Baskets 5, Docere 2

* * *

Andrewmania vs. LostLotheria

It looked like it would be a battle for the ages. LostLotheria scored first, but Andrewmania quickly struck back with two. There was elbowing and shin kicking and growling. A rather lot of growling. LostLotheria scored two in a row. Andrewmania rocketed back with two of their own, but just seconds before the break LostLotheria got one more goal to tie the game at 4-4 at the half.

Then the announcement came. "Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize, but several of the Andrewmania team players will not be playing in the second half. Their tests just came back positive for rabies following the incident in the first round."

Several sources have claimed to see the LostLotheria captain giving a briefcase to a leading Yesnono City vet, but this cannot be confirmed.

Andrewmania 4, LostLotheria 7

* * *

GROEGER vs. Mother Culture

The G team seemed confident at the press conference. Too confident. "We have a plan," they said, when asked. "Nothing too complicated, just a simple plan. We've analyzed years of previous plans for their flaws, how they were done, whether they worked. We like our plan."

On game day their plot became apparent. They had superglued the soles of Mother Culture's shoes together.

"Even thoguh it was my team I was laughing so hard I nearly died. Watching all of us try to get our shoes on, and then watch Joe try to walk once he got them on… He took two hours trying to get them off. I hope someone got that on tape…" The captain of the Mother Culture team said, as he collapsed into a fit of giggles at the post game conference.

GROEGER 2, Mother Culture 0

It's amazing what Yesnono security officers can find in diplomatic bags...

http://img6.picsplace.to/img6/2/lancrecup.png
http://img4.picsplace.to/img4/7/lancrecupps.png

[
Very cool, that.

How did you make it?
]

[ Oh, nothing special. Just Microsoft's cheap knockoff of Photoshop from about 6 years ago. Comes with FrontPage 98. Bit easier to use than Fireworks or the GIMP, but has almost no features. Works for me though. ]

Bongostan vs. Sliponia

"Penguin Kickers!" jeered part of the crowd. "Yeah you cruelty to animal people… um, meanies!" tried a lone voice from the crowd. "Hey, you suck at jeering!" they responded. As the crowd continued yelling at the crowd, the game began almost unnoticed.

Bongostan started out well, outscoring Sliponia 3-2 in the first half, but the constant animosity of the crowd was wearing them down. After the half, the Bongostan player who had scored in the first round attempted to explain himself to the unruly mob. "Look… I didn't mean to kick him. It's not like he got very hurt… I was going for the ball. As for dribbling him down the field, well, he's black and white, and the little guy doesn't weight much, so I didn't notice."

"Inattentive critter kicker!" came from the stands, sparking an "ARGGGggg" from the player as he ran off the field headed for Bongostan.

We learned just before printing that he was arrested at the Yesnono boarder for failure to have identification other then his jersey.

Bongostan 3, Sliponia 6

* * *

Tonca vs. Je Marques

Tonca, in a shocking turn of events, declared that they had won their first round game by fighting hard, and that they intended to win their second by continuing to fight hard.

Je Marques, sparked by the Toncan declaration, stated that they had won their first round game using banned spikes, and that they would continue to consider banned weapons. They see them not as their best option for a win, but also as a way into the fan's hearts.

Yesnono City General hospital, being carried up in the wave of press conferences, declared that it would be really nice if players would stop bleeding so much. Please. The referees agreed with the hospital, and limited the amount of diplomatically immune to search material the Je Marques team could bring into that stadium.

After a game that included bombed balls, flamethrowers, portable lasers, and several unidentified large metal objects (which have sparked the interest of many a military) the Toncan Captain laughed at his opponents, saying "Don't you know the first rule. Don't talk about surprise firepower in the press conferences before the game."

Tonca 5, Je Marques 3

* * *

Sirocco vs. Determined Cows

In their last game, Determined Cows encountered a rain of beef ravioli. Now that the fans were prepared, with bowls and spoons at the ready, the skies look clear. They were playing Sirocco the ever powerful, who had defeated the perennially pathetic Yesnono team in the first round.

The game started amongst chants of "Lasagna, Lasagna" until the spectators realized that it's really hard to chant the word 'lasagna.'

Throughout the game, the Determined Cows players seem to be still traumatized by there previous experience. Their captain appeared in a later press conference petting one of the docile 'Troon tabbies' saying, "The ravioli, the ravioli, all I could think of was the ravioli!"

Sirocco 7, Determined Cows 3,

* * *

The Harlot of Babylon vs. Dregruk

"Descriptions of this game have been censored by the LCOC(Y). It was a blood bath, and describing that might do damage to the delicate young psyches out there. Remember, Think of the Children!"

The Harlot of Babylon 7, Dregruk 10

* * *

Gandhi Followers vs. DTAS LAND

After Gandhi Followers' easy first round they were ready for a war, not just a battle. In a plotting huddle the day before the game, they strategized. "Look, guys. Last time DTAS LAND played, they faked a top secret weapon. They only won because the other guys believed them, so we have to not believe anything they might do."

The DTAS LAND huddle was happening at the same time. The captain started "Well, that will only work once. This time we should use flamethrowers, I think."

During the game the Gandhi Followers steadfastly refused to acknowledge the very real presence of the flames on field. The players ran willingly directly at the flames. At a later press conference, the Gandhi Followers captain said "They were really good special effects, they even got warm when you got close enough…

At this point, the interview was interrupted by the DTAS LAND captain suddenly going crazy.

Gandhi Followers 6, DTAS LAND 5

Round Three Draws

Sliponia vs Gandhi Followers
Dregruk vs Sirocco
Tonca vs GROEGER vs LostLotheria
Wash Baskets vs Jothopolis

Can someone please post a photo of the stadium that is hosting the great Tonca-LostLotheria-GROEGER battle?

I can't imagine how the goals are oriented but need to get the Toncan team trained up for this unique challenge.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v617/sasarah/soccer_field.gif

Wow, I'm impressed!

But, but this is horrible! Now even if we play a perfect defensive game and nobody scores any goals against us, we still might lose when the Toncans buy off the GROEGER goalkeep! (oh wait... :D) We might actually have to learn how to play offense instead of just wasting the other team!

*sigh* I just hope we're in shape in time... and that the shipment of "material" gets through...

Sliponia vs Gandhi Followers

"Wait, I recognize both these teams…"
"Yeah, so?"
"How am I supposed to know who to cheer for if I don't know who the underdog is?"
"Just pick one, it's only the first game of the day."
"Which one?"
"I dunno… What's your favorite color?"
"Red, but neither are wearing red. Which of these is wearing your favorite color?"
"Not the Gandhi followers, they look all burnt."
"Flamethrowers do that."

Sliponia 4, Gandhi Followers 3

* * *

Dregruk vs Sirocco

The clash of the really, really, way to big nations followed.

The game started out close, with equal numbers of casualties on both sides. At 10 minutes, 2 broken legs and 1 nose each. At 15, 3 legs and 4 noses. Once it seemed apparent that neither nation could win with pure violence alone, the Siroccian team started their secondary tactic, insulting the Drugruk's team's moms.

The crowd was uncertain about the logic behind this tactic. "Won't it just make 'um mad, make 'um fight harder?" asked Alex Smith, of section 324, row 23, seat 6. But it didn't make them fight harder. It made them cry. Like little boys who have just had their toy train broken. The Dregruk coach decided, for the sake of appearances, to remove the team from the field.

Dregruk 5, Sirocco 8

* * *

Wash Baskets vs Jothopolis

They played. No one was really watching because the handler of the flying hippo Sirocco had brought as a mascot had gotten excited at the team getting into the semi finals and fed the hippo a whole box of treats at once. This resulted in a hyper hippo hanging over the stadium doing flips and feats of flying. A crowd that has to duck a 2 ton flying aquatic creature every 5 minutes is a crowd that isn't paying attention to the game.

Wash Baskets 2, Jothopolis 4

* * *

Tonca vs GROEGER vs LostLotheria

The fourth game, a product of the LCOC(Y)'s lack of previous experience at planning anything other then their own breakfast, was scheduled to be played across town at the Center Town Park. The park had the only patch of grass big enough for the misshapen monstrosity of the three way field and its stands.

Surprisingly, this game was one of the hardest tickets in town to get. Everyone wanted to be there, just to say they had been there at the only (hopefully) three way soccer game ever played. Well, everyone wanted to be there but the referees, who were steadfastly refusing to consider the idea.

The teams seemed to love the idea. There were secret meetings about alliances. There were even more secret meeting about breaking alliances. There were top secret meetings about how the coin toss was going to work at the beginning (three to one betting on a special three sided coin). But, finally, it was time to play.

Tonca and LostLotheria started out working together. Tonca would distract GROEGER while LostLotheria would score, and then the other was around. This seemed a highly effective way to play, but it was too good to last.

After the half, LostLotheria came out supporting GROEGER. The Tonca captain screamed "TRAITERS!" The Crowds heads whipped, wimbledon like, to the LostLotheria Captain, who yelled "EX-delegate!" It was generally agreed to be a good, but not great insult, but LostLotheria won, so it was excused.

Tonca 4, GROEGER 3, LostLotheria 7

* * *

Semi Finals

Jothopolis vs Sirocco
LostLotheria vs Sliponia


[comment? There was no comment here... These are not the droids you're looking for...]

[Yes, I spent way too long making that field. I hadn't used photoshop in years. Ah, the possibilities... *cackles* ]

The Semifinals


Jothopolis vs Sirocco

The spectacle began on time. The Siroccians had brought a small herd of flightless hippos to hang out in front of their cheering sections. According to the program, they were going to spell out Sirocco in the air over the field during the anthems, but they got distracted by the food vendors, provoking the mandatory pre-game shouting match between the players.

"Your mascots suck!"
"Yours are flamingos!"
"At least ours are meant to fly. Your Hippos are Freaks of Nature!"
"All your flamingos do is eat. At least we've trained ours to fight!"
"I like cheese."

Following the awkward silence after the comment by the Siroccian keeper, they decided to start the game. The spectators generally agree that it was a good game, up until the point that the God of Cheese appeared and covered the field in melted cheddar.
The Jothopolis team tried to substitute in two of their Flamingos, who were, unfortunately, severely outweighed by the flightless hippos opposing them.

Jothopolis 5, Sirocco 9

* * *

LostLotheria vs Sliponia

The match was delayed for a surprisingly short period of time. Once the LCOC(Y) thought of Ralph's Rodent Barn, they had the field cleared of the now solidified cheese in short order. The remaining rabies-free Troon tabbies helped to clear the field of most of the mice.

The LostLotheria captain called a huddle right before the start. "Right, if any of you lot know any way to summon a God do it now…" "But I don't believe in any Gods." replied one of his players. The Captain slapped his forehead, saying "Don't tell them that…"

The entire LostLotheria team spent the game waiting for Lightning strikes, molasses floods, or other signs of divine displeasure. Unfortunately, this meant they weren't paying attention to the game.

LostLotheria 3, Sliponia 5



Stay Tuned.

The 3rd place will be played tomorrow between Jothopolis and LostLotheria.

And the Finals will feature Sirocco and Sliponia on Satuday.

Where's the next rounds then? Honestly, in my day... ;)

Jothopolis VS LostLotheria

"We're very confident about today's match," Said the manager of the LostLotheria, who was wearing his best bin-bag for the press conference. "Our boys have been at their physical, mental and emotional peak for the last few days and we're going to win!"

Someone pointed out that they had lost their previous match to Sliponia and they could now only hope for 3rd place. The manager yelled something aggressive sounding and threw a shoe at him.

Shoe throwing seemed to be the theme of the match. As soon as the kick-off whistle was blown, the entire LostLotheria team pulled off their boots and lobbed them at the Jothopolis team.

Disturbingly, even with over half their opposition lying on the ground bleeding, the LostLotheria team still only won by three goals...

Jothopolis 6, LostLotheria 9
-------------------------------------------
Sirocco VS Sliponia

The long-awaited match between the founder and Sliponia had finally arrived. The LCOC(Y) arranged for an impressive fireworks display at the end of the match, a huge cake for all the players and free access to a local hospital.

The match began badly.

The Sirocco team decided to help themselves to the cake, taking not only their half but the Sliponian half also. The Sliponians vowed revenge.

Which they most certainly delivered.

Angered by the Siroccan confectionary pilfering, the Sliponians armed themselves with the post-match fireworks and used them as artillery. Half the stadium was evacuated when a STARBANGER© rocket flew off course and demolished the northern part of the seating.

With tempers running high, fire-engine sirens wailing in the background, it was quite clear that the final of this Lancre Cup was going to be one for the history books. Every time the Sliponian team appeared to be getting a lead, the Siroccans countered with some beautiful footwork.

By the end of the match, including the significant injury team, both teams were locked at 7 goals. It was all down to a penalty shootout.

Despite the craters in the ground, the two teams sent some excellent shots and scored some equally impressive goals, but in the end the Siroccan team won having missed no shots. The Sliponian team was let down by a fire-engine running over their player as he went for the shot.

Sirocco 8, Sliponia 7

So Sirocco are once again the champions of the Lancre Cup. There would've been an impressive fireworks display to mark the end of the event, but the Sliponians used them all. The Dregruk team volunteered to do a fireworks display instead, but the LCOC(Y) decided it would be too costly building a new stadium at the end of it all.

FINAL RESULTS:
3rd Place: LostLotheria
2nd Place: Sliponia
1st Place: Sirocco