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Sarzonia vs. The Golden Throne
http://www.christopherculver.com/common/photos/200503/telecomunicaciones.jpg
Sportpalast


The announcer had been especially estatic this evening to be able to comment on the game for international news. Indeed, the national team of the founder was playing against the national team of the nation with the best eleven-a-side soccer team, meaning some of the best soccer players in the world would be playing tonight head on. Of course, it was termed a friendly, but teams with such big egos could not merely just play - the game would perhaps be the ice breaker for the IFST, beginning a round of hostilities and marking the general belligerent aspect of five-a-side soccer.

As commentator Jerach Card looked down upon the field, no larger than a basketball court, with a thick white line marking the boundaries of the field, with one crossing through the center, he whistled and turned to his partner, Juliet Sernard, "This is going to be a big game." She smiled and turned back to her work.

The crowds, mostly nationals since the game was just a friendly, and there weren't many Sarzonians who had come yet, although most likely they would flock to Fedala when the actual tournament began, began to yell in a wild craze, chanting,"Imperials, Imperals, Imperials..." over and over again until finally the gates to the far left side of the field opened, revealing a shadowy figure in the walkway. At first slowly, then quicker, the figure got larger and Bastian Drest, the legendary futsal golie of the Empire, came out, waving at the crowd, which cheered even larger. Bastian was simply huge, at least almost a meter wide, and two meters tall, and heavy set which made him a stereotypical goalkeeper.

Behind him came out Axel Eiben, along with Julius Fernarch, Jorg Grieslich and Kurt Einbach. One defensive player and three offensive players, which set their strategy in stone. It would follow suit with almost every other strategy ever conceived by one from the Golden Throne - aggressiveness. All players had short trimmed hair, and most of the players were over one meter and eighty centimeters tall, except the center, who was just under one meter sixty centimeters.

Sarzonia's team came from the other corner, on the opposite side of the field, and they emerged just as gracefully, led by goalkeeper Brian Tawes, defenders Ty Williams and Danny Presley, and finalizing with Luke Devney and Alejandro Carrero. It was an all star team, with the same heavy build as those leading the Imperials, and they looked as if they would prove themselves to be legendary players as well.

As the players stretched for the first ten minutes the referees brought themselves to bear outside, with their huge jelly donut filled bellies, and their bristling silver whistles. Of course, within their pockets they held their three cards, prepared to whip them out in case any player on any team got out of hand. The referees themselves were neutral. Two of the three referees were Zarbian, which wasn't too friendly with the Empire, while the third referee was Guffingfordi.

Finally, after much chanting from the crowed, and a whole ten minutes of additional stretching and short drilling, the teams formed up on their respective sides of the field, made of sleek, light wood. The Guffingfordi rebel, the head referee, took out a golden coin and pointed towards Alejandro Carrero to choose in the air. As he flicked the coin the Sarzonian player yelled out,"Bust", and surely it landed on the bust of Jonach I - the Lasers would begin the game.

Carrero headed by passing the ball back to Ty Williams as quickly as possible, and the ball skidded over the wood. The balls used on a futsal court were much smaller than those used by eleven-a-side games, and they had much more mass making it much more painful to kick the ball, especially when you kicked it with your toes, which was preferred to kicking it with the lace of your shoe since it offered the goalie less time to react. After some short passes back and forth to warm up and get a feeling for the defense of the Imperials the Lasers began to speed up the game with a pass back to Alejandro Carrero who bycicled around Jorg Grieslich, and then passed it behind Kurt to Luke Devney, who with the lace fired a shot out of the area, which arched around Bastian, but was deviated by his fingers as he tried to stop it. The ball landed behind the goalbox for a corner.

The corner marked the first goal of the game, in just a minute and thirty seconds of gaming, and it was marked by Alejandro Carrero who head butted it behind Bastian's arms, who spilled backwards while he watched the ball quickly enter the goalbox and hit the white net. Carrero came pounding in and took the ball in celebration, carrying it to the start off position. Most of the crowd booed the goal, while a small minority of Sarzonians, or Laser fans, cheered loudly.

The rest of the first half was just as aggressive as the first two minutes, but the scoring slowed down as both team's defense got a bit better after they got a feel for each other. On minute eleven Fernarch scored a goal for the Imperials by kicking it behind his head, over the arms of Tawes, and into the goalbox. The crowd went wild with such a show, and the entire arena filled with,"Oooooooh"

On minute seventeen Fernarch fired another goal, hitting accurate in the top right corner, marking the game for 2-1, in favor of the Imperials. Minute twenty-three saw a goal by Einsbach, who did the classic bycicle to break up the Sarzonian defense, and then shot a goal through Tawes, picking up the scoreboard to 3-1. The last two minutes of the first half saw no more goals, although heated exchanges between players did end up with a single yellow card for Einsback in minute twenty-five, the final minute of the first half.

The second half saw much more action, and many more goals, as Luke Devney was exchanged for Robbie Ward, who scored a goal in minute thirty-one by juking out Arnem, forcing the latter to take a fall, although by his own accord. A third Sarzonian goal also came through Robbie Ward, which after being fowed within the area was awared a penalty kick. Bastian Drest was not able to stop the shot, which arched around him, and was scored upon, tying the game up at 3-3.

Two subsequent Sarzonian goals gave them the 3-5 advantage. The first goal was marked at minute thirty-six, and the second at minute forty-one, one by Ward and the other by Carrero, giving Ward three goals and Carrero two. At that point most expected the game to be settled, and even commentator Jerach Card had expressed the point with,"Unfortunately, it seems as the Imperials have made another folly, and their pre-tournament history does not show up to be as fine as many would have liked it to be."

However, much to the suprise of others, minutes forty-three, forty-five and forty-nine saw three goals, one after the other, in quick succession, marked by the Imperials. The first goal came directly after the center, Grielich, passed the ball to Fernarch, who broke the Sarzonian defense by a deep pass to the far right corner of the field, stopped by Einsbach, who then passed it back to Grieslich who with the toe of his Seco shoe, scored under Tawes, much to the chagrin of the latter. The second goal was marked by Fernarch, who shot it from half court, right after stealing it from Ward, who had attempted to take it himself to score a sixth goal for Sarzonia. Tawes, caught off guard, was scored upon, setting off another round of complaints between the referees and players. The score had been firmly tied again at 5-5.

The tie braker came at minute forty-nine, scored by Fernarch once again, giving him four goals, and finishing the game at 6-5. The last goal was scored when Fernarch passed it behind two of the Sarzonian players to Einsbach, who immediately passed it right under the nose of a single Sarzonian defensive player to Grieslich, who faked a shot, leaving it for Fernarch, who scored at the expense of a confused Brian Tawes.

Amidst cheers, shouts and the waving of white and black flags within the stadium the game was ended at the final score of 6-5, advantage to the Imperials. The game saw one yellow card, given to Gotthold Arnem, and a total of eight fouls, six made by the Imperials [four on the first half, and two on the second half], and two by the Lasers [two on the second half]. The following statistics were recorded:


Sarzonia The Golden Throne
Fouls: 2 6
Possesion: 44% 56%
Goals: 5 6
Corners: 4 3
Penalty Kicks: 1 0
Double Penalties: 0 0


FINAL SCORE
6-5
Imperials - Lasers

Lasers lose first-ever futsal match, 6-5

The stakes weren't nearly what they will be when the tournament kicks off in earnest, but for the Sarzonian national five-a-side football side, the chance to demonstrate the team's abilities in a friendly match that was a stage-setter for the inaugural International Futsal Soccer Tournament was one that Lasers Coach Bob Hancock couldn't pass up.

"We wanted to get an opportunity to show people this brand of football," Hancock said. "We also wanted to get some support for the sport back home and possibly create a national league for indoor football."

The Lasers managed to reach those goals, but weren't able to meet Hancock's third goal: A victory. That went to the Imperials of host nation The Macabees, by a score of 6-5 after Sarzonia overcame a 3-1 deficit and led 5-3 with seven minutes remaining in the fifty minute match. However, the Lasers couldn't hold the lead and saw the Imperials score three unanswered goals in six minutes.

"We've got to do a much better job of playing defence, especially late in games," Hancock said. "The one good thing about this match is the fact that it's a friendly. The bad thing is that it shows us that we have some things to improve upon."

The Lasers may have found two new football stars in their loss. Reserve forward Robbie Ward netted a hat trick and 10 shirt Alejandro Carrero scored twice. Hancock said he was pleased with the team's offensive exploits, in particular Ward's play.

"If Robbie's going to keep playing like that, I'm going to have to consider him for the starting five," he said. "If we can play as well as we did the first 43 minutes of this match against the rest of the competition, we should stand ourselves in pretty good stead in this tournament."

But Hancock didn't dwell too much on the seven minute meltdown that resulted in the Lasers' losing a match that ultimately didn't count in the standings. He was pleased the sport got off to such a strong start for his team and for the sport's chances in Sarzonia.

"I think people are going to find this a very exciting brand of football," Hancock said. "This match was a great showcase for this tournament."

...and in other sports news, the Ariddian futsal team arrived today in the Macabees, for the first international tournament of that sport. Groups were drawn today, and Ariddia will be playing New Montreal States, Starblaydia,
Milchama and Guffingford. Asked what she thought of the group, team captain Laetitia Erikson had this to say:

"Well, what do you want me to say? I don't know anything about any of them. Not their futsal teams, that is. None of us do. I didn't even know they played futsal in those countries. But I'm confident we've got a good team."

She added that she wasn't particularly happy to be drawn against four opponents instead of three, and went on with a touch of humour:

"They mis-spelled our country's name, too. Everyone does that. I'm not sure whether we should be taking it as a bad omen, but..."

We'll bring you more on the tournament once the matches begin.


OOC:
And here's the team:
http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ariddia%27s_national_futsal_team

Sports Illustrated

"...And in today's issue of Sports Illustrated we focus our attention to the recently started IFST soccer competition called futsal, held in The Macabees. The first match was between The Macabees' Imperials and the Sarzonian Lasers. The score amount is quite high, and the Sarzonians were defeated in a 6-5 game.

Our referee, Samuel Edeltop said afterwards: "A most pleasant game. No real offenses, just a good match with fair play. Except when the score was 5-5 one player couldn't control himself and began to complain about the goal. I dismissed his comments of course. Furthermore there were a few minor incidents, some arguments but overall a most pleasant game indeed. One penalty kick is not that bad, if you look at other matches."
The redaction fully agrees with that statement. The game itself was exciting, and our video subscribers can enjoy this most enjoyable match on their television. The current futsal roster of Guffingford is unknown, except that we will be playing against Ariddia. We will keep you updated.

Endscore:
Imperials: 6
Lasers: 5

And a small political sidenote from the President, though it is not our policy to quote political figures, we just cannot skip this one: "Sorry Sarzonia, The Macabee administration did not bribe our referee. You just have to play better next time." And that concludes today's article on the Macabee Futsal Championship.

Milchama City Times-Tribune-Star-News-Enquirer-Gazette-Sun-Ajerite-Cheese

Sports Section

Milchama have to play NMS again! Not sure if we're magnetically connected

The Milchama Warriors have to play the New Montreal States Paladins in yet another sport. This time its futsal as the Warriors bring in their undefeated record against the Paladins on the line again in their first qualifying matchup. Coach Steve Berker said, "Well its always good to start with an opponent that you are confident against. After this game we should be confident before our next game. Unless of course our soccer team loses then we will be worried." This newspaper is still looking at the magnetic connection thoery.

Sportnachrichten International

FEDALA, the Empire - It has been released by the interim administration of the First International Futsal Tournament that the Imperials, the vaunted home futsal team reknown for their skill and their tenacity, will be pitted against the national futsal team of Tadjikistan, who's national team had never been heard of before. However, Tadjikistan does have a history of particupating both in World Cup XXIII and World Cup XXIV, as well as an expected presence within World Cup XXV, which they are expected to fair better than the Empire's team simply due to status and experience.

Nonetheless, it is generally expected that the Empire will have a complete victory over Tadjikistan, and their friendly victory over Sarzonia worked to reinforce this common perception. The victory would give the Empire the three points it would require to be at the head of the group, tied with either Druida or Adrasuvare. President of the Imperals, Kleinstzer Greims claimed,
"It's obvious that the game to kick off the tournament between us and Tadjikistan will end in a victory. Not only do we have homefield advantage, but we are the more experienced team, as we are the birthplace of international futsal, as testified by the tournament. I personally believe that even if Tadjikistan put a miracle team together the most probably effect of the game will be an Imperial victory."

However, some say that Tadjikistan should not be intimidated by the big words of the Empire, and should be very happy to face the Imperials as their first opponent. One referee from Stevid [just chose a nation randomly] said this,
"I think it's important to consider that even if Tadjikistan loses, which is not set in stone, they will be the team to gather the most experience after the first game of the qualification round. It is to say, they will face either Druida or Adresuvare with much more experience than either of those teams simply because they played against the haughiest and most experienced team of the league. Furthermore, I think that the Imperials are letting loose a lot of rubbish, and that they might have all of their boasting thrown to their face after this game."

The game, to take place in the Sportspalast, where the friendly between Sarzonia and the Empire had taken place, has already sold out all of its seating. Indeed, it's expected that two hundred thousand fans will fill the massive building for the game, most of the fans being loyal to the home team, although in a recent poll it has been noticed that Tadjikistan also has a rather large following within the Empire, which is supplemented by several thousand tourist coming to see their team during the championships.

Economist are estatic to the fact that the ticket sales alone brought a profit of some sixty million Reichmarks, which pays for the use of the Sportspalast and all of the luxuries given to both teams. It's expected that over three hundred million will be made from consequent food and merchandise purchases. The other games are expected to bring at least three quarters of that revenue, making the Tournament extremely profitable for Fedala.

What is obvious is that the first game of the Imperials, and the kick off round for the tournament, is destined to be heated and very well played. It will be televised on national television on public channels and internationally by sattelite, expecting to bring an audience of over seventy million viewers throughout the world.

Sportnachrichten has also released its expectations for the first games of the tournament :

Andrasuvare vs. [b]Druida
Sarzonia vs. The Caprine States
Hypocracia vs. Bipedal Apes
Yafor vs. Hockey Canada
Michael Sticklandttt vs. Jerusalem
New Montreal States vs. Milchama
Starblaydia vs. Guffingford

Groups Drawn, Yafor 2 Expected Winner

With the groupd draw recent, and in the minds of Yaforite futsal fans (if indeed, there are any yet), we are pleased to have an UPDATED version with ALL SORTS OF SPECIAL FEATURES!!

Group C

Micheal Sticklandtttt - A team unknown to the Yaforite side, Micheal Sticklandtttt are not expected to go far, with a name such as they have.While we may be mistaken (not a rare chance) we do expect them to be entertaining...and to lose to the Yaforite side. While both teams are new to the sport, well...hopefully, we're more used to it.

Hockey Canada - Well, they're our first opponent and the Maccabean pollesters (or whatever they are) have said that we'll win. While we've never played them before in this sport, we lost to them in the Giridiron League (they won because of their "home-field advantage". Hmph. Well they don't have that now and we can bet you that the "attacking Korad brothers" will have something to say about that.

Jerusalem - Faced them once in the U-21. They beat us, as we recall. MAde some slurs about of nation anme, too. Let's get back at them...on the futsal field. "Jerusalem". Bah.

This is an excert from The Ajerite Spoof. Do not be offended by anything it says.

The Locker Room, several minutes before practice, various unnamed players sounding off:

"They had to actually design a new floor for the gym from scratch. I think that tells you what our chances are."

"Pfft. No matter that we've never played this futsal thing before. It's indoor soccer with a pronounced advantage for us--with a ball as heavy as this, the soft-footers won't be able to kick it so hard so often, but with these little hooves of ours... really, I think we've got an unfair advantage."

"Unfair advantage? It doesn't even level the playing field. We're tinier than everyone except the Apes, and it was only by the grace of God that we managed to get drawn with them."

"We can live without a huge physical presence now. Really the only thing we need are tall goalies, and we have Rafet."

"Damn straight we have Rafet."

"And don't forget the horns. Horns help."

"Yeah... almost makes me feel like we're cheating though. I mean we leap and can pretty much knock down the ball with that foam padding."

"Which isn't good on the defense end."

"But which is critical for long passes forward."

"Eh... what pisses me off really is that some stupid Macabee magazine picked Sarzonia to beat us."

"Oh yeah, like their new futsal program is just as developed as their football. Give me a break. Most overrated team in the draw."

"Gives us a shot to reclaim some national honor."

"Yeah... three straight games of goalless defeat this past World Cup."

"At least we won't go goalless this time."

"Thanks for the optimism, jackass."

"My pleasure. You forget that we're playing against professionals here, and we're just a bunch of hastily-picked intramural soccer players."

"Like hell they'll have professional futsallers. How can someone do this for a living? It's ridiculous. Sure, international competition is fine, but what demand is there for leagues?"

"Who needs leagues? If the others pay like our Ministry of Culture, they can earn a living from this."

"Say what?"

"Recent press conference. Apparently getting drawn with Sarzonia, Hypocria, and the Apes has made the government interested. They want to see us win the group. If we do, 100,000 lira to each man."

"That's hardly enough to live off of professionally."

"We also get 200,000 lira for every match we win after that. Not to mention some very nice bragging rights."

"Still not all that much."

"It'll pay off the student loans and let me buy a car. I think it's plenty."

"But a career?"

"Eh... always something decent to fall back on if chemical engineering doesn't pan out."

"God... how are a bunch of students supposed to do anything?"

"We're goats. We'll make something happen. ...By eating them or something."

"Sounds like a plan."

"And if that doesn't work, we can wave our sponsor in their face."

"Yeah. If 'tastes just like mom' is slightly disturbing to us, it must make foreigners gag."

"Nice architecture."

"Val?" Eomer Hall looked across at his building-appreciating colleague.

"Yeah?" Valentino replied.

"Shut up."

It was getting to be a bit of a running joke now that Starblaydia's Maestros (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Starblaydia_Maestros) had arrived in Fedala for the first International Futsal Soccer Tournament - but to Starblaydis it was simply a national Five-a-side competition. Classy defender Valentino Caltabiano was something of an artist in his spare time, which he had a lot of since retirement from football. Architecture was just one of his interests.

"That must be one of the good points about being a Dwarf," Simeone Di Bradini said, though was not given an oppurtunity to continue.

"Ah roight," Khim Azanulbizarn, the team's only Dwarf, sighed comically, "here we go, another pre-Presidential speech. Let's here it, laddie."

Simeone was Starblaydia's candidate for the Presidency of the World Cup Committee, after all, something that he admitted to himself would be rather cool if it came to pass.

"That building," Simeone said, gesturing at the Sportpalast, "must be even more impressive when you're a few feet lower down that regular eyeline."

All Simeone received was a stamp by a Dwarven boot on his own foot.

"Hey!" Simeone looked hurt, though his acting would only have been acceptable in some outrageously-bad and over-egged theatre. "Don't go breaking my metatarsals before we've even begun!"

"Ah seen ye play with a poorly foot, laddie," Khim said, "is nae worse than when you've got two workin' ones."

"Touche." Simeone said.

"Who are we playing first?" It was the first thing that J.J. Stark had said in a while.

"Guffingford," replied Khim. A chuckle came from behind him.

"He said 'guff'," Tetsuo Naoki said between giggles.

"Oh brother." Simeone sighed and carried on walking, the group followed behind him.

Overheard at Flag Court, a sports bar in southern Woodstock:

Bartender: Hey, what'll ya have?

Patron: I'll have a Blue Fox Lite.

Bartender: That'll be six bucks.

Patron: Six bucks? It says here it's a dollar fifty!

Bartender: You don't watch much news, do you?

Patron: What the hell's that supposed to mean?

Bartender: Relations with Pacitalia have gone south since they got that new Augustinate, that foreign affairs bitch. There's been talk of tariffs, embargoes, severing relation, the whole bit.

Patron: How does that quadruple the price of one bottle of Blue Fox Lite?

Bartender: It's a markup. People are afraid Pacitalian items are going to become as scarce as French military victories. So they jack up the price.

Patron: That's fucking stupid.

Bartender: Still want that beer?

Patron: Yeah. Say, will you guys be showing the Lasers game?

Bartender: The who?

Patron: The Lasers. The futsal team.

Bartender: Oh, right. Lemme check. ::He checks the schedule::

Yeah. Game time's six o'clock.

Patron: That late?

Bartender: They're like four hours ahead of us.

Patron: Oh. How do you think we'll do?

Bartender: Hard to say. It's everyone's first game, but we looked pretty good against The Golden Throne. I think we've got a chance.

Patron: I hope we bet those Caprine States assholes.

Bartender: Me too. Say, want some of this Hogg Lite? It just got marked down to two bucks.

Patron: Uh, no thanks. I'll just take my check.

Jeruselem Government News

JGN adds Futsal to coverage

JGN is pleased to announce it's now covering the IFST or The Golden Cup to add to it's coverage of the World Cup, U21 Championships and Cup of Harmony (when we fail to make the World Cup).

Jeruselem fielding a team of former and retired World Cup players with some development players tagging along for the ride. We are not demograding Futsal by sending ex-players, it's just Futsal is not terribly well known in Jeruselem at the moment. It just turns out ex-WC players are our best known Futsal players.

We've hired some experienced South American cameramen for JGN's coverage of Futsal who are experts in covering this fast exciting game. The first game to be screened is Jeruselem vs Michael Sticklandttt.

“What do you mean we won’t be playing on the first day? And we’re the only ones?”

“Seems like it,” Laetitia Erikson, the team captain, confirmed glumly. “Luck of the draw, again.” Ebrahim Kabei, the young substitute defender, shook his head in mock disbelief, sighed, and sat down.

“Well. I could have stayed at home a while longer and gone to that play.”

“It’s an awful play,” Tim Sailman called over to him from across the room. The team were gathered in a large, well furnished room of their hotel. “I told you, I’ve seen it.”

“You lack any kind of artistic taste whatsoever,” Kabei retorted with a slight smile. “So.” He turned to Erikson again. “What does that mean?”

“It means. . . It means we watch the others play.”

“Great,” Sailman put in sarcastically.

“No, seriously.” Their captain seemed to cheer up just a little. “This could give us an advantage. They’re all going up against opponents they’ve never seen play before. At least we’ll be able to analyse their game tactics before we take them on. It’s a small advantage, but. . . it could help.”

“Uhuh.” Kabei wasn’t convinced. He got to his feet. “I’m going to get some beers. If we’re going to be stuck in front of the tv watching everyone else have fun, we at least need some beers.”

“No.” Erikson’s tone was firm. “No alcohol.”

Kabei uttered a soul-wrenching sigh. No playing. No drinking.

“How about two dozen bottles of lemonade?”

A first impression

The Tigers were drawn with one wellknown team and two unknown ones. First there was Druida, Cohost of WCXXIV and one of the teams the Tadjik national team beat in the group stage. The other two teams, Adrasuvare and The Macabees remain unknown to the Tadjiks, although The Macabean team is said to be one the the best in the tournament.

Semjon Salimov, president of the Tadjik Futsal Federation refused to compare the National soccer team and Tadjiks new Futsal team: 'Yes, we've been in the World Cup soccer, but that doesnt mean we're going to win here. It isnt the same! These Imperials from the Golden Throne are good, better than Tadjikistans Tigers. I'm expecting an Imperial win, as do many others, so we are underdogs. but as we've seen from recent history, the Tadjiks play well when they have nothing to lose.'

While most experts are kept busy predicting scores, insiders said the experience gained in this match will be much more important than the score. Gregor Latov, the Tadjik Futsal coach said 'Lets just say the Imperials will take three points here, then nothing has been lost, Druida and Adrasuvare have to face the Imperials too, so they can lose just like us. Our advantage is that we can learn from the Golden Throne and use that experience in our second match against Druida or Adrasuvare.'

Tadjik fans have moved to The Macabees in great numbers, all eager to see their team play. Yes, sports that are played with the feet are popular in Tadjikistan. And as usual the fans are optimistic of their teams capabilities, one fan said: 'Hey, the Imperials have never played against Tadjikistan, and maybe they'll just underestimate our boys and overestimate their own chances. I think we'll win.'

PALADINS, WARRIORS TO CLASH IN FIRST GAME, AGAIN

Futsal already written off in NMS psyche

CHATEAUGUAY - Here, in the only serious futsal-playing city in NMS, you'd think people would be ecstatic over the Paladins' participation in the first major internation futsal tourney.

Instead, people are afraid for the future of the sport in NMS as they are faced with another drubbing at the hands of Milchama.

"Dash it all," said local futsal coach Pierre Degaussy. "Just when we were posed to take off, the Paladins will go and lose to Milchama, and futsal will be looked at as just another national humiliation."

Leading sports figures in the city seem prepared for the blow. "We thought we had T.V. coverage lined up," said Antoine Bedel, Futsal chief at the Ministry of Morale. "But once news of the group draw came up, the networks backed off on national coverage. Our lawyers checked, and sure enough, there was a cancellation clause in the event of a matchup with Milchama. So now we're stuck with a regional deal that won't get out of Chateauguay."

Do we have a chance? Nope.

Golden Cup Preview


Futsal fever has swept the nation ahead of the opening round of games in the first international Futsal tournament. Well, not exactly swept, more like drifted. Ok, in truth not many people even know it’s going on. Give it a few games, or wins to be more precise, and the nation will be right behind their side.

It’s a talented side of players from the islands, the only part of the Autocracy where futsal is common, that Hypocria bring into the tournament along with one of the most successful football coaches ever in charge. Frankly we have no idea how they will do but we do know that the opposition in Group B provide a number of interesting challenges.

Sarzonia
Hypocria fans are no strangers to seeing their sporting teams walked all over by Sarzonia’s finest. The nations first ever sporting fixture over a decade ago was a 3 - 2 defeat to Sarzonia at Under-21 World Cup 15 and that kind of set the trend for the next 10 years. Still, this is a brand new tournament so who knows?

Caprine States
They’re goats. Seriously. Goats. The Caprine States and Hypocria emerged onto the international football stage at the same time, at the pre World Cup 23 Baptism of Fire tournament, but were placed in opposite ends of the draw. In fact the nations have not met in any competition ever so this is an excellent opportunity to gain a winning record over the goats.

Bipedal Apes
First goats, now Apes. Actually it’s the Apes who come first as they’re Hypocria’s first opponents. Few nations have made as positive impact as the Bipedal Apes when they’ve first appeared in international competitions. The Apes are also a nation that Hypocria has never faced before so once again it will be a chance to gain that advantage. It’s always nice to have a winning record over someone. Apparently.

Opening Day Fixtures

Group B
Sarzonia vs. Caprine States
Hypocria vs. Bipedal Apes

"Prezidente, Prezidente! Are we gonna win the Cup?

"Arrrrrre we go-in to win the Cup?"

Simeone Di Bradini was removing his tracksuit on the sidelines as Starblaydia's Maestros (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Starblaydia_Maestros) did their final warm-up excercises for their opening match against Guffingford. He gave a little wave to the travelling Starblaydi fans which, of course, prompted a cheer.

"Looks like they know something you don't." Jerome Montefalcon said to Starblaydia's legend.

"Oh, I've heard the same thing, don't worry," Simeone said, "why else do you think all the cameras are here?"

Simeone Di Bradini, Starblaydia's record Cap-Winner and Goal-Scorer at senior international level, was in line for the Presidency of the World Cup Committee. 'Running' against such names as Kansu Kiru, Trevor Belmore and Sani Luvo. Whether today's match would show that a future President of the WCC could actually kick a ball without needing to wear a suit to cover his beer belly in front of the press photographers or not was yet to be decided, but for 'SDB' it was just another episode in the game that he loved.

With Starblaydia and Guffingford ready to take to the pitch, the Starblaydi team's Starting Line-up was announced to the fans:

1 - Fernando De Marco, GK
4 - Jerome Montefalcon, D/CM
6 - Valentino Caltabiano, R/C/LB
10 - Simeone Di Bradini, SC
11 - Nick Matranga, R/LM

Milchama City Times-Tribune-Star-News-Enquirer-Gazette-Sun-Ajerite-Cheese

Sports Section

Futsal team to be drastically changed after loss to NMS

The entire Milchamian futsal team and coach have been fired after an opening game loss to New Montreal States. This match up between the two squads which has happened in every sport imaginable from baseball to hockey has been very one sided with Milchama winning everything. Former Coach Tom Floon said, "Somebody was bound to lose to them eventually unfortunately it was us." The new coach is Neil Kabants who finally found a job. The new starters are
Goal: Tomas Klinn
D: Kenny Kahn
F: Erik Flarges
F: Kooney Milopoulous
F: Foropian Nairishmir
with everybody else as subs. The goals were scored by Flarges, Nairishmir who got 5 goals, Milopoulous who got 2 goals and Daveed Limar. Pressure is now being put on the Losers, we mean Warriors, to play well and at least win one game in this tournament.

Sportnachrichten International

The Golden Throne vs. Tadjikistan
8 -4

In a frightful victory the Imperials score an eight to four game against Tadjikistan, ensuring their dominance within the group currently tied with Andrasuvare. The victory, when concerning the comments left in our last issue, wasn't a complete suprise, and most of the spectators expected an Imperial victory. Indeed, one man, named Karl Sergien left us with this,
"Yea, there were tens of thousands of spectators cheering for our team, and they all knew the outcome of this match. We personally think we know that the Imperials are going to make it out of the group - that to us, isn't a problem. Wether or not we win the tournament is of little consequence, however, there is no way we are staying behind."

This attitude was reiterated by other interrogated fans, and indeed, the aura is that the Imperials have a foolhardy chance to get out of the group and into the finals without a problem. Most also think the tournament is going to be spearheaded by the Imperials, but that's something more abstract.

It should come to head that the Imperials are not the head of the game, in any of the group. They are currently tied with Andrasuvare, and countries such as Starblaydia and New Montreal States are currently ahead with nine points each. Nonetheless, as the first games these were rather hectic, and teams that did not score well this time have the same possiblity to win the next match - that should always be kept in mind as well.

The Andrasuvare victory shook the teammates of the Imperials, and they have decided to go on a three day training spree until the next match, because if Andrasuvare proved to be the competitor in this last match, an Imperial defeat is not far away. Shockwaves have been sent through the Empire's sports center, and considerably more pressure has been put on the team to win. As star player Julius Fernarch, who scored three of the goals this game [minutes '11, '17 and '41], giving him a total of seven goals, says,
[indent]"We have a hard game ahead of us"

Regardless of the next match, the Empire rejoices for their victory.


Other Scoring

Group A

The Golden Throne 8:4 Tadjikastan
Andrasure 8:3 Druida



Group B

Sarzonia 4:4 Caprine States[DRAW]
Hypocria 8:0 Bipedal Apes



Group C

Yafor 2 8:2 Hockey Canada
Michael Stricklandtttt 4:6 Jeruselem



Group D

New Montreal States 10:9 Milchama
Starblaydia 10:7 Guffingford

The tournament has begun with a whimper as the fancied Druids fell to the Blue, Black and White for Adrasuvare's first ever win in futsal's Golden Cup...
We still have to play the Tadjikistan and Imperial Teams as well as go through the return legs in order to have a chance for the second round of the Tournament.
The new blue starlets may have a long way to go in their journey to the top of the Futsal world, but this is a start and this year will provide a start for the youth Futsal clubs and organizations all over the nation... We are still fighting with a close group, but practice has been well received and not as injury-prone as could be expected for a first-time effort... Hopely the new Starlets of the court can prove to be a nightmare for the field...

“Well, that sucked.”

“You can’t win ‘em all, you know.”

“Yeah, well, fine. But that sucked.”

“It was their first game. You can’t expect too much from them, Tribuana.”

“We didn’t even score!”

“The kids have never even played the game before.”

“They’ve played footie. It not that different.”

“They’re out of their element.”

“Stop sticking up for them, Thingloomy! They played like bunch of hobbled snailbirds!”

“Well...”

“Well, nothing.”

Thingloomy decided to hold her tongue. Tribuana did have a point about the hobbled-snailbird-like play.

“Anybody else get shut out?” he asked.

She took a look at the foreign sports page, scanning the futsal scores. “Not exactly,” she admitted.

“Snurgdoggle scored eight goals for B.U. last year! What wrong with her?”

“She had trouble remembering to stay in bounds.”

“Lines are painted on floor plain as day! And what ‘bout Moudamma? I never saw anyone rack up so many fouls without getting redcarded.”

“Just lucky, I guess.”

“They might as well send him off for all good he doing. ‘Foul’ Moudamma, I gonna call him.”

“Hey, Tribuana, look at this.”

Thingloomy handed the newspaper to the head coach. “’Bipedaleen Futsal side slammed eight-nil by Hypocria in debut,’” he read. “Great, thanks for sharing.”

“Not that. Look at the next page. The regular footie report,” Thingloomy pointed out.

“’Great Alexandria make offer for Tribuana (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=9728490#post9728490).’ Let’s see... they offering... holy crap!”

“You okay, Tribuana?”

“I think my eyes just popped out!”

“No, they’re still there.”

“Then I’ve gone blind!”

“Your vision’s probably just gone swimmy from the shock.”

“Read me what it says.”

“Um...”

“Part where tells how much Great Alexandria’s offering.”

“Let’s see... ‘in the range of 10 million bobs (4,347,836 USD).’ Holy crapping Bejeezus.”

“You said it, sister.”

“Your eyes any better, now?”

“I think I can see again. But what’s that smell?”

“You just pooped on the floor.”

“Oh. That happens when they back dumptruck full of money up to door.”

“Yeah... I wonder what they expect you to do.”

“Sign contract, I guess.”

“I mean after you sign.”

“Play footie?”

“For four point three million dollars? That’s over seven million bananas sterling!”

“What your point?”

“My point, Tribuana, is that no one in their right mind is going to pay you seven million BS to play footie. So what’s the other part of the job?”

“Dunno. Sewing? That what I did for Throck Sisters.”

“They’re not going to pay you seven million BS to sew.”

“No, prolly not.”

“What did Throck Sisters pay you?”

“About seventy thousand. Including a bonus for finishing in top two in table.”

“You see now what I mean?”

“You see now why I spontaneously pooped?”

“I can only think of one thing you’d pay someone seven million for.”

“Yeah? What that, Thingloomy?”

“Overthrowing foreign governments. Or maybe assassinating foreign leaders.”

“You think Great Alexandria FC want me to kill someone?”

“Probably. Can you think of another reason they’d back dumptrucks of money up to your door?”

“But why me? I never assassinated anybody in my life!”

“Maybe they need an assassin who can kick the ball around the opposing line and curl it into the goal.”

“How that kill someone?”

“Who knows? Maybe a fanatical supporter for the opposition, with a weak heart. Maybe you’ll provide the death-blow on a penalty kick with only minutes remaining in injury time.”

“Sounds like needlessly elaborate plan for assassinating someone.”

“Well, I’m not a professional assassination planner. All I know is, if someone offered me seven million bananas sterling to play footie, I’d take a good long look at the horse’s mouth. You know what I mean?”

“Yeah.”

“You planning to clean up that poop, by the way?”

“Yeah, yeah. I got it.”

“And I was you, I’d send the Great Alexandria FC a letter.”

“Yeah, good idea.”

Salimov and Latov were sitting on the terrace of a bar in Dushanbe, drowning their teams first loss, while they talked about it.
So Gregor, why did it go wrong?

'Dumb question, we sucked, thats why.'

'Sucked? I think we did good, we made four goals!'

'They made eight goals and we let them. Our defenses were really bad.'

'Well, these Imperials are much more experienced than we are, we both knew we'd be losing. I think we did quite good'

'We lost with a four goal difference, how can you call that good?'

'OKok it wasnt all that good, but we've learnt a great deal now, we should get our act together for the upcoming match against Ardasuvare... or are we playing Druida now?'

'Who gives a F---, We lost our first ever Futsal match.'

'Are you drunk?'

'No, I've been looking at your face for the past two hours!'

'My Face?'

'Yeah, tell me about the accident.'

'What accident?'

'What?? You mean you were born with a face as ugly as that?'

It took Salimov a couple seconds to realize what Gregor was saying, but once he did, he slammed his right fist into Gregors face. Salimov is no agressive person but the alcohol was doing its job.
'Now who's got an ugly face?'

Gregor, who couldnt get up again, decided to crawl home instead. Hopefully noone had seen what happened. Hopefully they would wake up tommorrow not remembering what had happened here.

Jeruselem Government News

Futsal News!

It's our first report on the IFST. We don't know how good our Futsal is, so we are not going raise expectations too much. Get used to ridiculous scores compared to the World Cup and U21 Championships as 10 goals a game is normal.

We are in Group C along for Yafor 2 (from U21C19), Hockey Canada (our friends somewhere in the Northern Hemisphere) and Michael Stricklandtttt (know nothing ...). For Hockey Canada, a bad start losing to Yafor 2 8-2. 2 goals is not much in Futsal game and the poor old Canadians couldn't do much this time. Jeruselem did better and won it's game against Michael Stricklandtttt 6-4. 6 goals isn't bad but conceding only 4 goals is pretty good so far. Now 10 goals a game, exciting? Check out the Group D results.

Group C
Yafor 2 8:2 Hockey Canada
Michael Stricklandtttt 4:6 Jeruselem

Group D
New Montreal States 10:9 Milchama
Starblaydia 10:7 Guffingford

"8-3? Against... Andrasuvare? Andrasure?"

"It's Adrasuvare, apparently."

"I don't care who they are, wwe shouldn't be getting beaten by teams we haven't heard of for years!"

"But sir, you did play a team full of midfielders, and..."

"Well, we've got less players! If we play only midfielders, then they can just play wherever is neccesary!"

"But five of them?"

"Yes, why?"

"Well, that means you... er..."

"Come on, spit it out!"

"You forgot the goalkeeper."

"The what?"

"The goalkeeper. You know, the one that stands in front of the net and catches the ball to stop it from going in?"

"I thought they just came with the goal?"

"No, you are actually supposed to bring your own as one of the team."

"Oh. Maybe we should remember that next time..."

Lasers supporter Kyle Holloway was nervous as he took his seat in the arena. The Sarzonian national futsal side showed some promise facing the Golden Throne in what amounted to an away match, even though the 6-5 loss didn't count in the World Cup standings since it was a friendly. But the team still blew a two goal lead, even though it was against a team that expected to hold the Golden Cup aloft at the end of the tournament.

He knew his team's tendency to start out slow and then fade out at the end and he hoped the team's middle run would be enough to secure the three points against Caprine States. The Stars 11 a side team dominated Caprine States, so he thought his team could possibly do the same for long stretches as the second team with any futsal experience.

"Damn, can we start out any worse," Holloway bellowed as goalkeeper Brian Tawes gave up two goals on the first three shots of the game to find the Lasers facing a 2-0 hole just four minutes after the opening kickoff. The team looked disspirited as Coach Bob Hancock called his players over and Holloway noticed him jawing at the team. It didn't seem to help as the Lasers trudged into the halftime locker room down 3-0.

However, Holloway noticed a difference in the second half. For one thing, forward Robbie Ward, who had been suspended for the first half for missing a team meeting, came on and almost immediately made it 3-1 with a bicycle kick just 90 seconds after the second half started. Ward was all over the Caprine States defence, forcing turnovers and generating pressure and Alejandro Carrero took advantage of the feed from Ward to make it 3-2 at the 30 minute mark.

"Yeah! That's what I'm talking about," Holloway yelled as Ward slapped high fives with Carrero. "Shut up," a Caprine States fan yelled, towering over Holloway in an effort to intimidate the Lasers fan. But Holloway, like his team, would not be broken. Within a matter of 10 minutes, Carrero found Ward streaking down the right side to make the score 3-3 and then Ward converted a free kick from Carrero to give the Lasers a 4-3 lead.

The Caprine States supporter tried to goad Holloway into a fight, but security came up behind him and ejected him from the arena. However, while Holloway was dealing with that, Caprine States scored the equaliser with just 20 seconds left, spoiling the party for the first match that counted in the standings. The result left Sarzonia with one standings point, two points behind Hypocria, which dominated Bipedal Apes 8-0.

However, after the ordeal of one supporter who tried to intimidate him playing fresh on his mind, Holloway was in no mood to celebrate with a draw that felt like a loss. Little would he know, neither were the Lasers.

Group D
Starblaydia 10:7 Guffingford

"Four Goals, Simeone," Roberto said, "that's very cheeky."

"You do realise, little brother," Simeone replied, "that I had to break a sweat out there."

"Aye Laddie," Khim interrupted, "I had 'em break out the sponge'n'buckets just fer ye."

"Oh very funny," Simeone stifled a chuckle, "If we could see any of your skin underneath that beard you'd be the before photo in an Anti-Persipirant ad."

"Ah cannae help it if they only provide wun-size-fits-all shorts, now can Ah?"

"Oh," Robb said, "I thought you were wearing trackie bottoms."

S Di Bradini 1-0
Matranga 2-0
S Di Bradini 3-0
3-1 Durantsz
S Di Bradini 4-1
Caltabiano 5-1
5-2 Vineyard
5-3 St Scott's
Half-Time
5-4 Vineyard
S Di Bradini 6-4
6-5 Laer
Naoki 7-5
Azanulbizarn 8-5
8-6 Vineyard
Stark 9-6
S Di Bradini 10-6
10-7 Houtbosch
Full-Time

Isn’t Evolution Great


No one really knew quite what to expect as Hypocria faced up to the Bipedal Apes in the first match of the Golden Cup of Futsal. And certainly no one would have predicted that in their very first outing the Islanders, as the team has been nicknamed by the media, would deliver such a severe hammering to their simian opponents.

Hypocria 8 - 0 Bipedal Apes
Dudamel (4)
Dorigo (2)
Bava
Johnson

The Bipedal Apes have enjoyed notable success in the 11 a side version of the game but they struggled to adjust to the confined space and much quicker tempo of the 5 a side game of Futsal. Islander’s attacker Rafael Dudamel ran riot in the first twenty five minutes, scoring three goals and setting up Dorigo for a fourth. Defender Macro Bava cracked in a fifth to put Hypocria firmly in control at the break.

Almost immediately after the restart Dorigo added his second and the Islander’s sixth. At the other end Bacciali was in inspired form, stopping everything the Apes could throw, or rather kick, at him. Dudamel capped a wonderful personal performance with his fourth goal and substitute Adam Johnson (on for Dorigo) nodded home Hypocria’s eighth.

General Manager Gregory Sarrazin is once again showing signs of having the Midas touch after this dominating performance. When in charge of the Cherry Cup Ice Hockey side he lead the Huskies to a win over champions Tanah Burung in the very first game. Now, despite once again being in way over his head, he has delivered immediate results in the Golden Cup. But surely the majority of credit must go to the man who masterminded the win, coach Zvonimir Roeder. Roeder is no stranger to success in football having lead Hypocrium City to five domestic league titles and perhaps, after that showing, he can add a Futsal trophy to his impressive CV.

“What a performance”, Roeder said after the match. We attacked really well but we defended brilliantly. I don’t think you’ll see too many shutouts in this tournament.”

The win sees Hypocria top the embryonic Group B table ahead of Sarzonia and the Caprine States, who fought out an entertaining 4 - 4 draw.

And so it was that the Goats gathered together once more in a locker room the day after their 4-4 draw to Sarzonia.

"100,000 lira is fleeting."

"Pfft. If we win out and outscore Sarzonia the rest of the way, 100,000 lira will be ours."

"Well I'm not too concerned about the Apes now... Clinky here was right. Being short sucks."

"...Clinky?"

"Yeah. There was a nice stretch yesterday where your hooves made a clinking sound when you ran."

"Oh yeah. That sort of hurt like hell. Managed to get a piece of tin or something stuck in there."

"Christ. Don't tell anyone else about that. You know what the foreign media asked me ten times today? 'Do you guys really eat cans?' Jesus H. Christ! What's the matter with these people? No one eats cans."

"On a less creepy note, how about that Hypocrian team, eh?"

"That wasn't non-creepy. You sound like you want to have sex with them."

"Oh yeah. Fuck one human and you're branded for life!"

"There's something wrong with humans?"

"Hey, I just don't swing that way."

"It's perverted. They're them. We're us. You just don't... fornicate."

"Does it count as sex if you were really drunk?"

"So anyway, about those Hypocrians--"

"Like hell it doesn't."

"I fail to see what's wrong with something that doesn't have hooves."

"Yeah, and those monkeys too..."

"All right, now that is going too far."

"Yeah, you're right."

"Yeah, yeah. Good point."

"Heheheh... it's a comical idea, though."

"Yeah. 'Oo oo ah! Ah!'"

"We're so racist."

"Yeah we are!"

"Hey... there's a certain point at which aesthetics become universal. And it definitely extends to the monkeys."

"Well, they'd want to be called apes."

"Yeah, yeah, but they probably call us sheep. That's worse."

"Yeah, I hate sheep."

"But they're tasty."

"So true."

"Damn. I'm hungry."

"Hungry to beat the Hypocrians and Apes!"

"...So lame. So very lame."

"We beat Milchama."

"WHAT? Are you, like, mad or something?"

"No, right here, 10-9."

"Futsal?"

"...what? I thought it said..."

"No, it's futsal."

"Futsal? Jeez, did they make up a sport just so that we can beat Milchama?"

"No, it's an actual, serious sport. Goats play it. Apes do too."

"Okay, first your saying that this is a sport. Now you're saying that both goats and apes play this as well. What next?"

"Umm...I don't know, let me check the schedule."

[Note: Sarz, will probably get his side of the scores up tomorrow.]


Group B:
Sarzonia 10:6 Bipedal Apes
Caprine States 13: 8 Hypocria

Group D:
New Montreal States 8:10 Arridia
Starblaydia 6:4 Milchama

Guffingford [Bi-match]

DENG: “Good afternoon. I’m Jeremy Deng, and with me is Et Ash’e. We’re with you live to comment on Ariddia’s first ever futsal match. Et?”

ASH’E: “Yes, Jeremy. As you know, Ariddia starts a day later than everyone else, by pure luck of the draw. Today, the team plays New Montreal States, which so far has grabbed a narrow 10-9 victory over Milchama. Ariddia’s opponents look in top form, but the good news is, everyone’s as inexperienced as everyone else.”

DENG: “And we see the two teams on the, uhm, field now, the Paladins in silver and blue, and our lads and lasses in all red, with black shorts. For the Paladins we’ve got Dumas, Maurier, St-Martin, Pilon and. . . Harold the Random Hobo?”

ASH’E: “I’m as perplexed as you are, Jeremy. Anyway, on our side we have Lo, Erikson, Rodriguez, Sailman and E’e. And. . . it looks as if we’re about to see the ulek performed!”


On the field, the five Ariddian players line up facing their counterparts, in a slight semi-circle, with Rodriguez and E’e on the outside seeming to close in on the Paladins like pincers. Slowly, their faces solemn, the Ariddians stand on their toes, lean forward, somehow superbly maintaining their balance. . . The stadium has gradually fallen quiet.

Llseh! Llseh!
Swehashi llosh e lueal o!
Wo’el yeual o!

The chant bursts out of them, powerful, confident, menacing. Five strong voices chanting as one, and, at the same time, the Ariddian players start moving, dancing, swinging their arms and jumping in place in a frenetic but perfectly coordinated war dance.

Al llseh! Al llseh!
Wul ellul sel ei! Wul!
Silew wa oleh!
Sah wa weheshisi!
Sah wa weheshisi!

As the chant rises to a crescendo then stops abruptly, the players rush forward in a leap at the New Montreal States’ team, stopping just short of crashing into them, then scattering and returning to their side of the field. Applause breaks out in the stadium. The camera zooms in on the Ariddian players. Sailman is grinning. Erikson still looks serious and almost fierce, and she gives out some last few instructions to her team mates.

And the game is about to begin!


1st minute

ASH’E: “It’s underway! St-Martin kicks it off, passes to Pilon. Of course, they have much less distance to cover than in open air football, so this should be a fast-paced game! Pilon. . . loses it as E’e intercepts. She passes to Rodriguez, he goes thundering back up the field. . . Maurier. . . has it. . . no, Rodriguez has it back, and shoots! Well saved by Dumas. Well, it is off to a fast start!”

DENG: “Dumas has thrown it almost to the middle line, and Pilon has it. He plays quickly, to Harold who’s going to try and shoot. . . Erikson tackles it away from him, and Ariddian goalie Lo has it safely. He passes to Erikson, who clears it to Sailman. . . Maurier’s in his way, he passes to E’e. . . E’e over to Rodriguez who shoots. . . It’s a goal! Ariddia opens the score.”


Twenty-fifth minute

ASH’E: “And with that goal by the Paladins, Ariddia are now led by four goals to five. But anything can still happen, and the Ariddians are counter-attacking! Rodriguez is in difficulty with St-Martin. . . He’s able to pass back to Erikson, who takes it back into the Paladin side of the field, passes to E’e. . . She’s going to be blocked off. . . No, she’s slipped round Maurier, goes for a shot! It’s deflected by Dumas, and cleared by St-Martin. A counter-attack by New Montreal States!”

DENG: “They’ve only got a few seconds. Erikson is in their way, but they’re pressing in. She has it, passes to Rodriguez, who tries to clear it. . . It’s intercepted by Maurier, who gets it over to Pilon. Pilon shoots. . . Lo blocks and controls it. And as he tosses it back into the field, the referee whistles the end of the first half.”


Fifty-first minute

DENG: “Seconds left on the clock, and can the Ariddians hold on to their one-goal lead? The score is 9-8 for Ariddia, but the ball is the Paladins’ right now, and they’re not giving up! They can still equalise and make it a draw! But Erikson’s there, and defending superbly! Rodriguez has joined her, but the Paladins are pressing in! Just seconds to go! Harold passes to Maurier, who’s got a clear angle, who shoots! Lo saves it!! It’s a save!”

ASH’E: “And it’s not over yet! Lo passes quickly, the ball bounces into the Paladin side, where E’e and Sailman are waiting! There’s only St-Martin there to defend, as everyone else rushes back into the Paladin side! E’e has it, passes to Sailman, who’s clear, who shoots. . . It’s a goal! And it’s over! Ariddia have won their first match!”

Final score:
NEW MONTREAL STATES 8 – 10 ARIDDIA

Ok, because Sarz is having some problems of his own, I'll be taking care of scoring. I guarantee you that I did not tweak any scores. The next scores have been pushed back to Saturday or Sunday; if anybody wants to step up to take the scoring of Group A and Group C please, it would be appreciated.


Group A
The Golden Throne 8:7 Druida
Andrasuvare 3:9 Tadjikistan



Group C
Yafor 3:9 Jerusalem
Michael Sticklandttt 3:3 Hockey Canada

Jeruselem Government News

So much soccer, so little time!

With the World Cup 25 about to start and also the U21 Championship 20 about to go too, there's also the Futsal news from the first IFST. Jeruselem are placed in Group C, and today more good news.

Jeruselem who won their first game, took on Yafor 2. We're glad to say, we won again! Not just any old win, a 9-3 trashing of the opponent. This is a good omen for our World Cup and U21 teams after the World Cup 24 team made the 2nd round.

Hockey Canada has a much more difficult time with a 3 ALL draw with Michael Sticklandttt. A less exciting game, but more Karelan which is what we expect from Hockey Canada anyway.

Group C
Yafor 3:9 Jerusalem
Michael Sticklandttt 3:3 Hockey Canada

[OOC: With Hellfire apparently dead in the water, I think I can resume scoring.]

Lasers light up Apes, 10-6

Coach Bob Hancock has guided his team to one point in two matches of the inaugural Golden Cup for futsal, but one of the two matches was a friendly that didn't count in the standings. His Sarzonian team finally broke through into the win column last night by defeating Bipedal Apes 10-6 behind the efforts of new starter Robbie Ward's five goals and nine saves from goalkeeper Brian Tawes.

"That was the kind of effort we were looking for," Hancock said. "We finally got our offence in gear and you saw the results we were hoping to get from the first game of this World Cup."

The Lasers (1-1-0, four points) get set to face Hypocria in their next match with a large monkey off their backs, namely the fact the team hadn't won a match in two tries. The team also saw Ward's turn as supersub end with his first start at forward. Alejandro Carrero took on more of a midfielder's role in the new look offence set forth by Hancock, distributing the ball for four assists. Carrero also scored one goal on a penalty.

"We just realised that Robbie is our best player," Carrero said. "Everyone on the team knows it, but he just needed to get into match shape for a 50 minute match. Now he was able to play a majority of it but we needed some defence late in the game."

Hancock pulled Ward from the match at the 43 minute mark as Bipedal Apes cut a 8-3 lead to 8-6 and he looked toward his reserve goalkeeper. But the team perservered and Carrero scored his penalty to blunt the rally, then assisted on the final goal of the game to salt the win away for the Lasers.

Sarzonia is currently tied with Caprine States for first in standings points, but Caprine States has more goals scored and a better goal differential than Sarzonia. The Lasers are one point clear of Hypocria, who defeated Bipedal Apes 8-0 in their first match in the World Cup, but Hancock and the Lasers realise it's early to talk about standings points.

"We've got a long way to go in this World Cup before we can talk about advancing to the knockouts," he said. "I know there are four matches left, but we've only played two that count. We've got to make sure we're there when it's time to stand and be counted."

Andrasuvare 3:9 Tadjikistan

Malinere|Solehbayev
Schumalet|Purkaev
Lingerlet|Fedorenko
Hatcher|Kolchak
DaSanti|Nazirov

Goals: Kolchak 0-1, 0-2, DaSanti 1-2, Nazirov 1-3, Purkeav 1-4, Hatcher 2-4, Kolchak 2-5, Nazirov 2-6, 2-7, DaSanti 3-7, Kolchak 3-8, Fedorenko 3-9

With a big smile on his Gregor Latove left the stadion where the the match been plaed, he had reason to smile as the Tigers won their second international Futsal match with 3-9 from Andrasuvare, 'We were new to the international Futsal scene, just like all the others here, so it all depended on how proffesional each national league was. And offcourse the speed at which the teams could learn. I wouldnt say we have a strong league but we certainly learned from that first match and adapted to these foreign styles. Its much like regular football, only on a smaller scale and we managed to hold on there too.'

3-9 is certainly a good score, which brings the Tadjik Tigers to the second place in their group, over Andrasuvare with a better goaldifference. But its still a long way for the Tigers too the knock out stages, but the Tadjiks are confident that they can make it, Salimov responded 'The Druidans will learn from their matches too, so it'll be though but after what if seen today, I believe we can go through to the next stage. I think with some luck we could even beat The Macabees and since people expect us to lose against them anyways, we can play without any pressure on our shoulders.

[OOC: Sarzonia, if you have any questions about the order of the next match just talk to me on MSN, or PM me on the draftboard forum, or drop a comment on the sign-up thread. The next scores should go up Sunday.]

Imperials Defeat Druida!

In their second victory, on their second game of the First International Futsal Tournament, the Imperials tore up Druida, winning the game by only one point, finalizing it at eight to seven. The second victory has brought up the Imperials to the leadership of the group. It's also paved the road for a full Imperial victory on the group level, and a very colored future within the finals of the Futsal Tournament. Regardless, Sarzonia's victory against Bipedal Apes have sent shockwaves, since Sarzonia's true character in soccer has sprung up, and it's evident that they will grow into a big contestant within the tournament.

Point wise the Imperials sit at fourteen points, with sixteen goals. The next in the group is a tie between Adrasuvare and Tadjikistan with eight points a piece, while the former has eleven goals to its roster, and the latter has scored thirteen goals. This next match should set the leadership straight for the group, at least for this round of matches, and then the second round of matches should add an extra hint of competition to the tournament.

Tournament wise, Jerusalem sits tied with the Golden Throne for the lead in points , with fourteen points a piece. Jerusalem has matched every move the Imperials have undertaken, underscored by their two straight victories. Second in terms of points is Starblaydia with thirteen points with a close tied second between Sarzonia, Caprine States and New Montreal States, with twelve points each. After that comes Arridia with nine points. A full listing can be found below:


Team

The Golden Throne
Jerusalem
Starblaydia
New Montreal States
Caprine States
Sarzonia
Tadjikistan
Yafor 2
Andrasuvare
Arridia
Hypocria
Milchama
Druida
Michael Sticklandtttt
Bipedal Apes
Hockey Canada



Pts G

14 16
14 15
13 16
12 18
12 17
12 14
8 13
8 11
8 11
9 10
7 8
4 13
4 10
4 7
4 6
4 5



As underscored by the table above the Golden Throne is technically ahead in international ranking, while the Caprine States retains the top scoring, consequently retains the ability to win the Silver Goal, a cup given to the top scoring team. However, Starblaydia and the Empire are close behind for the ability to win the Silver Goal.

This second victory for the Empire comes along with the news of the first game of the Baptism of Fire, the pre-World Cup tournament, which also ended in a victory at three to one. This highlights the Empire's soccer affiliations and the success of the sport within the Empire. It has also served to persuade the further subsidization of the national team in the years to come, although the administration has not given an official reply to that.

Regardless, most of the Imperial's fans have positive aspects about sunday's game, and most have dimissed it as another victory, although no one has seemed to take to heart that the victory against Druida was only pulled late in the match, and it was almost a loss. Nonetheless, the positive outlook remains.

[b]8 : 7
The Macabees : Druida

Scorers:

Julius Fernarch - 3; '10, '21, '35
Kurt Einsbach - 2; '44, '48
Jorg Grieslich - 1; '3
Marco Dienar - 2; '15, '38

Group D:
Starblaydia 6:4 Milchama


Presidencies are Temporary, Class is Permanent
Golden Boy Gives Golden Performace in Golden Throne chasing Silver Cup

Newly-elected World Cup Committee President Simeone Di Bradini had all the attention on him yesterday as he started both halves of football with a goal for Starblaydia. His first goal was after just seven seconds, blasting the ball past Tomas Klinn in the Milchaman goal after just three passes.

That goal, however, seemed to be the cue for Milchama to get their act together as they scored three goals without reply before the big man Eomer Hall levelled after heading the ball down into the net from a failed Azanulbizarn lob, which didnt go anywhere near the net. Substitued early rather than having to waste his energy chasing the ball, 'El Prezidente' stated the second half and kick-started Starblaydia again, scoring quite quickly to get the Maestros back on track. Some J.J. Stark stepovers were rewarded with a Milchaman on the floor and a ball in the back of the net, while Spike Martin managed to travel the length of the pitch unchallenged before slotting past the 'keeper.

Though Von Pedro gave Milchama some hope before the end of the match, Roberto Di Bradini soon sealed it for the Maestros, who find themselves as the third-best performing team in the competition, behind the hosts and Jeruselem.


S Di Bradini 1-0
1-1 Allen
1-2 Allen
1-3 Nairishmir
Hall 2-3
Half-Time
S Di Bradini 3-3
Stark 4-3
Martin 5-3
5-4 Von Pedro
R Di Bradini 6-4
Full-Time

The Second Match of the Golden Cup was a complete disaster for Adrasuvare as they surrendered 2 goals within the first few minutes to Tadjikistan's Futsal side... DaSanti's two goal effort could not save the indoor Starlets from ruin especially after giving up 4 straight goals after DaSanti's first goal of the night... The defense on the side was a disaster especially after the interval. Therefore for the match against the The Golden Empire, the Starlets needed to work a lot on defence and on just being accurate in general... The Starlets are still not out of the chase, even with a heartbreaking loss like last night.

ARRIDANS DOWN PALADINS IN FAST-PACED MATCH

It was a thrilling struggle last night on the futsal pitch as Arrida and NMS clashed during Golden Cup qualifications.

The match stayed close, with the teams never being separated by more than two goals, and Arrida only picking up it's tenth goal at the very end after a furious Paladin attack.

The Paladins performed admirably last night, and can only hope that the next match will bring better results.

Matchday Three

Group B

Sarzonia 9:8 Hypocria
Bipedal Apes 5:6 Caprine States


Group D

New Montreal States 8:9 Starblaydia
Arridia 9:1 Guffingford

Milchalma - Bymatch


Group Rankings and Pass to the Finals

Group B
[1]Sarzonia
[2]Caprine States
Hypocria
Bipedal Apes

Group D
Matches until passes to final

Starblaydia vs Arridia
Guffingford vs Milchama

New Montreal States - Bymatch

----

Guffingford vs. New Montreal States
Milchalma vs Arridia

Starblaydia - Bymatch

Matchday 3 Scores

Group A

The Golden Throne - Andrasure 7:6
Druida - Tadjikistan 9:6

Group C

Yafor 2 - Michael Stricklandtttt 6:6
Jeruselem - Hockey Canada 10:4

Group Rankings and Pass to the Finals

Group A
[1]The Golden Throne
[2]Tadjikistan and Druida Tied!
Andrasuvare

Group C
[1]Jerusalem
[2]Yafor 2
Michael Sticklandttt
Hockey Canada

--------

The full matchday schedule for the First International Futsal Tournament will be drawn up when Group D finished their next two matches, and when Tadjikistan and Druida play for second in their groups [the score for that match should be up by tomorrow, and to make Sarzonia's life easier, I'll do it.]

Those to go to the final are the first two in every group, ensuring eight teams in the final, playing a quarter final, semi-final and the final. Good luck all the teams.

A lieutenant posted aboard the ISS Liestes, a Minuteman-class patrol submarine was sitting in his bunk huddled over an old-fashioned transistor radio. He was fiddling with the dial feverishly.

"Fucking signal," he grumbled as he kept listening for the radio programme he wanted. Finally, an ensign turned on the television in the officer's mess and flipped it to a broadcast.

"Hey Jack," the ensign called out. "Is this what you were looking for?"

Jack looked at the tele and noticed it was what he was struggling to find on his old fashioned radio.

"Oh good, the game's on."

The two officers sat down on the couch and watched the game, alternately cheering or grimacing with every goal or mistake by the Lasers. Finally, they saw the man who was quickly becoming the Lasers' biggest star score a goal that looked like it would be insurance in a 9-3 lead, but then watched the Hypocrians score five straight goals to cut the lead to 9-8 with 58 seconds left.

Finally, the whistle sounded mercifully and the Lasers improved to 2-1-0, drawing cheers from the officer's mess and providing a few minutes of levity on a grim naval station.

ASH’E: “Good evening. I’m Et Ash’e, and with me is Jeremy Deng. You’re joining us, of course, for Ariddia’s second futsal match, this time against Guffingford. Ariddia won their previous match, against New Montreal States; can they keep up the good performance? Jeremy, what do we know about Guffingford?”

DENG: “Well, I’ve got a cousin who went there once. Quite a dry place. Lots of rocks. Nice people, though. . . Oh. You mean the team. Well, not very much. So far they’ve been beaten by Starblaydia. They didn’t play on day 2.”

ASH’E: “And we can see them on the field now, in their white and brown kits. What are all those symbols they’re wearing? Sponsors?”

DENG: “I think so, yes. I’ll never understand capitalists. Turning people into walking adverts. . . Still, it’s their way of life, I suppose.”

ASH’E: “What about the line-up?”

DENG: “There’s not much we can say about Guffingford’s team, though I expect we’ll get to know them a little better over the next few minutes. For Ariddia, there have been just a couple of changes from last time, with Sentier and Blake replacing Sailman and E’e alongside Rodriguez in forward position. I suppose the team want to see what each player is capable of. It’s still a 1-1-3 layout, with Erikson as a lone defender.”

ASH’E: “Well, I’ll just interrupt you, because it seems the anthems are about to be played, and after that of course we’ll have the ulek.”


9th minute

ASH’E: “And it took until the seventh minute for the first goal to be scored, with a powerful distance kick by Rodriguez. But the pace seems to have significantly increased now, with both sides playing a high-speed attack style.”

DENG: “And this is what viewers will want to see! Certainly the spectators in the stadium seem to be enjoying it. Vineyard passes to Fontainhoff for Guffingford. Erikson is there, superb as always, doesn’t let him get near the goal cage. She passes to Blake. Guffingford have two defenders to Ariddia’s one, but we have three attackers to overwhelm them with. Blake passes to Rodriguez, Rodriguez quickly to Sentier. . . and it’s a goal! Guffingford’s defence can’t be everywhere when it’s outnumbered, and the Ariddian team are beginning to take advantage of that.”


15th minute

DENG: “Erikson intercepts, but can’t keep it. . . The ball trickles away, Fontainhoff tries to shoot. . . That’s a good save by Lo. He passes to Erikson, who plays quickly with a powerful kick. . . Across the field, to Rodriguez, who swings a shot. . . And that was massive! It’s in!”


46th minute

ASH’E: “Well, I doubt Guffingford can overcome that lead now, with only a few minutes left on the clock. . . But the game is far from over. Blake, away from Elias. Passes to Rodriguez, who shoots. . . It’s off the top bar, bounces back into the game. . . and there’s Sentier! And it’s a goal! It would have taken a miracle for Guffingford’s goalie to stop that one.”


Full time

DENG: “Well, there goes the whistle, and we can see the Ariddians shaking hands with their counterparts. 9-1! I don’t think anyone expected that!”

ASH’E: “Let’s hope this will have bred a few more futsal enthusiasts back home in Ariddia, then! A great performance, indeed. It’s perhaps too early to say, but I think what made the difference may have been the imbalance, a 1-3 formation against a 2-2 one. Erikson is an excellent player, and she holds her own as lone defender, which means Ariddia can put three players in forward position, able to go up against just two defenders on the opposite side.”

DENG: “It’s a risky strategy, but it certainly worked today! Let’s see if the team can keep it up. Join us next time, when Ariddia will be playing Milchalma!”


Final score
Ariddia 9-1 Guffingford

Yafor 2 Advance in...Futsal!!

That's right, we advanced. Needless to say, it was not only expected, it was not very exceiting an affair. Only members of the 2 member IYFS (Imperial Yaforite Futsal Association) actually celebrated.

Well, we're happy. So what? That other teams sucked anyway.

This is an excerpt from The Ajerite Spoof. Do not be insulted by anything it says.

Yafor 2 Advance, to Thunderous Roars!!

It was with the news of YAfor 2 and their triumphant victory in The Macabees, that got the crowds of YAforite Futsal fans both excited and jubilant. Over 13,000 fans of the new (to Yafor 2) sport had migrated to the other nation to observe Yaforite games and now they were filled with joy. Yafor 2 were through.

In a post-game interview, the Korad brothers, speaking in turn, as they always do, were both filled with tears in their eyes. "We won! We won!" they shouted, as they wrapped a huge white banner with 'Windbearers' written in bold blue lettering on it. Yaforite fans paraded around them, all wildly cheering.

So that's futsal for you, eh!

-Excerpt from The Ajerite Sun.

Group A

Tadjikistan 3:6 Druida

Druida passes to the final!


Group D


Starblaydia 5:7 Arridia

Guffingford 2:4 Milchama

The Newspaper Tada!

Sports Section

Milchama win to little to late

A welcome win for the Milchamians against Guffingord came to little to late to shift the tide away from a bad star losing to both NMS and Starblaydia. Coach Neil Kabants said, "Bedistan can you please hire me as a coach." About the futsal game he said, "Well it was nice to win here at least have some confidence for our team right now. We have one more game in the group stages against Arridia and a win there could mean something good."

The Warriors decided to play a very defensive strategy from the get go and it worked well as Nairishmir and Flarges played very well on the counter attack scoring the first goal 28 minutes in. The second goal for the Warriors came not much later as Thomas Klinn got the ball up to Kooney Milopoulous who scored to make it 2-0 Warriors. The Milchamians unsure of what to do now that they actually had a lead started to stink and the Guffingord came back scoring two goals of their own before the Nairishmir went past two defenders and shot the ball in to make it 3-2 Milchama. Nairishmir scored one more time in the final minute on a corner kick header to make it 4-2 Warriors.
Final Score:
Milchama 4 (Flarges, Milopoulous, Nairishmir, Nairishmir)
Guffingord (To lazy to look at the roster)

"Good evening. I’m Ahmed Jones, and you’re watching the eight o’clock news.

[…]

In sport, the Ariddian futsal team played its third match today, against a quite literally legendary Starblaydian team. The Starblaydian futsal players selected for this competition are all former international football players, and they’re all living legends in their homeland. So far, Starblaydia’s record was an impressive three victories, making both teams unbeaten until today, and further upping the excitement of Ariddian supporters over this match.

The Ariddian team retained the strategy which had proven effective against New Montreal States and Guffingford, with team captain Erikson as lone defender, and three attackers – namely, this time, Sailman, E’e and Barisev. Lo was the goalkeeper.

Tim Sailman admitted to us before the match being a little nervous going up against such a prestigious team, but the Ariddians looked more than confident while performing the ulek against their opponents. And the game began with a goal scored by Aw E’e in the fourth minute of the match, to the sound of loud cheers from Ariddian supporters. The next two goals were scored by the Starblaydians, who looked in top form despite their, uhm, above average age, but six further Ariddian goals brought the final score to a more than satisfying 7-5 in favour of “les Rouges”. As we see a replay of the goal by Aw E’e which equalised at four all near the start of the second half.

With just one match left to play, against Milchama, Ariddia have delivered a flawless performance so far. Et Ash’e and Jeremy Deng talked to Victor Barisev after the match.

ASH’E: “This was your first game. I expect you’re pleased with the result?”

BARISEV: “Well, yes. Especially against Starblaydia. We were all wondering how this was going to turn out. Only Laetitia wasn’t nervous, I think, but then she doesn’t get nervous about anything.” *laughs*

ASH’E: “A very unusual match, then?”

BARISEV: *nods* “There’s something strange about playing a team composed of football legends. Somehow, you don’t want to tackle them too hard, for example, though maybe that’s also because of their age. Anyway, that’s at first. Once the game is really underway, you get used to it and it’s just another match. Laetitia was telling us all we shouldn’t allow ourselves to be too impressed.”

DENG: “And next, Milchama. Ariddia are the only undefeated team in Group D. Will you be putting as much effort into your final match as into the first three?”

BARISEV: “Of course! We treat every game seriously. The Milchamans shouldn’t count on us lowering our guard.”

ASH’E: “Well, good luck! And we’ll be reporting on the team’s final match, of course. So we’ll see you all then!”"


Final score
Starblaydia 5-7 Ariddia

Group D

Guffingford 5:3 New Montreal States

Milchama 7:10 Arridia



[OOC: Full matchday schedule for the finals, and official movements to the final will be up either tonight, or tomorrow.]

OOC: Arry, there are more reasons than age to not tackle these boys too hard ;)

IC:

“There’s something strange about playing a team composed of football legends. Somehow, you don’t want to tackle them too hard, for example, though maybe that’s also because of their age. Anyway, that’s at first.”

Limping heavilly, Simeone Di Bradini made it back to the Maestros dressing room and slumped heavily onto the bench.

"Biatch!" He said, feeling his leg. "Since when do girls kick that hard?"

The physio, a woman herself, only smiled as she applied the 'magic spray' to his calf muscle. The ice-cold gas - for that's all it was - numbed the pain almost instantly.

"You're, um," the physio searched for a word, "well seasoned, you know. Can't go around expecting to take those challenges just like when you were in your twenties, Simeone."

"That's a horrible thing to say to a man," Simeone sighed, "'well seasoned'. Our touch on the ball is still better than all these unknown fools out there."

"Yes, but your stamina is shot and the speed you all once had is now almost completely gone."

"Dammit, woman," Simeone growled, "this is one last hurrah for us. The old warrior strapping on his armour one last time."

"Old warriors get finished off by the young ones, remember?"

"You don't think I know that?" Simeone pulled off his shirt and grabbed a towel. "We're in this Second Empire of the Golden Thingamibob because we wouldn't cut it on a full eleven-a-side game. Plus this is more fun."

"Except when Ariddia beat you with a girl-captain."

"Oh," Simeone said, easing himself up and heading for the shower, "it's not the girl that bothers me, it's not the loss that bothers me. You know, it wasn't even that dumb war dance that Khim stared down front right in front of them. It was the kicking. They started soft, started losing, then they went to tackle hard." He leaned against the door of the showers. "'If you can't beat em, kick em' has always been something I've hated. Ariddia will pay for this, or I'm not the World Cup President..."

With that, the Starblaydi Legend, World Cup Hall of Famer and World Cup Committee President - all rolled into one - turned and went to have a long hot shower. The whole nation of Ariddia was now in a whole heap of footballing trouble.



0-1 E’e
S Di Bradini 1-1
Montefalcon 2-1
2-2 Barisev
Stark 3-2
3-3 Barisev
Matranga 4-3
Half-Time
4-4 E'e
4-5 Saliman
S Di Bradini 5-5
5-6 Rodriguez
5-7 Sentier
Full-Time

OOC: Totally oblivious to the wrath they have just brought down upon their country, the team play their final opponent in the group stages…


IC:
8pm news

Ahmed Jones: “… and this afternoon the Ariddian futsal team went up against the team from Milchama, in its fourth and final game in the group stages of the tournament. The Ariddian side were unbeaten at that stage, and striving to maintain that record, while Milchama had experienced one win and two losses. With a report on the match, here’s Henri Sucre.”

Sucre: “With Ariddia already qualified to the next stage whatever the outcome, the match was an opportunity to enable substitute goalkeeper Tran Bao Manh to play for the first time, while Erikson, Rodriguez, Sailman and E’e made up the rest of the five.

The game began with the quick pace Ariddia were now used to setting through their aggressive 1-3 formation, but the first goal came from Milchaman attacker Limar in the fifth minute, with the Milchaman team matching [/I]Les Rouges’[/I] formation. Erikson found herself facing three attackers rather than the customary two, and our team got what could be called a taste of their own medicine.

After being led 0-2 until the twelfth minute, Ariddia finally reacted through Sailman to score a first Ariddian goal, though Milchama quickly upped the ante to a 4-1 lead. The second half began with Ariddia trailing 3-4, but no changes in the Ariddian squad.

As fast-paced as the first, the second half saw Les Rouges pull themselves together, and fight as if their very qualifying depended on the outcome. The result was some excellent playing on both sides. . . and a final score set at 10-7 for Ariddia. Les Rouges go on to the next stage with a flawless record so far, four wins, no draws, no losses, 21 goals conceded to 36 scored, and hoping very much to be a force to be reckoned with in the burgeoning world of international futsal.”


Final score
Milchama 7:10 Ariddia

"Wow!"

"What?"

"We got an exclamation mark off the hosts!"

"Really?"

"Yup!"

"What for?"

"Well, we beat the Tadjiks in a play-off, and we're through to the knockout stages!"

"I know that, I was there watching it next to you on the bench. But that doesn't mean we have to be given an exclamation mark, does it?"

"You're never greatful, are you?"

Official Finals and Matchday Schedule

[OOC: I will be scoring all matches, since Sarz left NS I believe.]

Group A
The Golden Throne
Druida

Group B
Sarzonia
Caprine States

Group C
Jerusalem
Yafor 2

Group D
Ariddia
Starblaydia

--------------------------

Quarter-Finals!

The Macabees vs. Ariddia

Sarzonia vs. Jerusalem

Caprine States vs. Starblaydia

Druida vs Jafor 2

[OOC: To be be scored October 19th]

“. . .and in other news, it has been officially confirmed that Ariddia has qualified to the second round of the first ever international futsal tournament, topping Group D. The Ariddian team will face the Macabees in the quarter-finals, hoping for a place in the semis. If they can win this upcoming match, they will have equalled the memorable performance of the Ariddian football team in World Cup 10, which also made it to the semis.

Team captain Laetitia Erikson had this to say once the match schedules were announced:
“We’ve faced four tough teams so far, and it’s not going to get any easier. Having topped our group is actually going to be more of a drawback than an asset, since group leaders apparently face one another off in this competition, rather than the leader of Group D playing the team which finished second best in Group A, for example. We were expecting to face Druida in the quarter finals. Still, we’ll give it our best. We can win this, and we intend to.”

When asked whether the AFA would be inquiring as to why the group leaders face one another, and asked what her prognostics were for the four matches, Ms. Erikson declined to comment.

“I’m sure every match will be exciting,” she said simply. “You’ll have to watch them to find out.””

B U M P

[OOC: Sorry, with the entire Hogsweat debacle and all this thing was pushed back. I'll start scoring the quarter-finals tomorrow, and the semi-finals on Wenesday, and then the finals themselves on Sunday following what I saw on BoF (the long final RP string).]


The Imperials Move on the Quarter Finals But Tragedy Strikes the World


In the good news, the Imperials moved on to the quarter-finals as the head of their group, followed by Druida. The team they're pitted against is Arridia, considered one of the better Futsal teams, along with Starblaydia and Jerusalem. The team has been working hard as usual, constantly training, but many foresee bumps ahead, and the view of victory is getting smaller and smaller, especially with the skill witnessed within Jerusalem's team and Starblaydias. Indeed, many fans have a poor outlook on the conclusion of these quarter-final matches, foreseeing a tragic defeat at the hands of Arridia, which would shatter football fans throughout the Empire after the defeat in the regional quarter-finals in the Baptism of Fire at the hands of Pastorville. However, the Imperials have had a few more days to train for than originally thought.

Indeed, a series of tragedies has pushed the Futsal finals back. The principle tragedy was the debacle in Hogsweat, when a technical failure caused the country's doomsday capabilities to backfire and simply wipe the country off the map. In mourning, the Futsal tournament was pushed back two days. Following that, recent reports of rebel soldiers crossing the River Nestor, forming the climax of the War of Golden Succession [the River Nestor being only around two hundred kilometers from Fedala] pushed the tournament back another three days for a matter of safety, although the teams were guaranteed a flight out if the battle turned bad. Nonetheless, reverses for the rebel soldiers recently have set the stage for the resurgence of the Futsal tournament and the quarter-finals are scheduled for beginning in three [IC] days.

The Imperials are estatic about their movement to the quarter-finals, which they say they had foreseen since they are hailed as one of the better Futsal teams as well. After their final victory against Adresuvare, ensuring their accension to the quarter-finals, they seem positive for the upcoming match, although again, nobody can really tell for sure. Regardless, it should be a great match!

Jeruselem Government News

J's Futsal meet Sarzonia in quarter finals

Yes, it's the quarter finals of the IFST. Every now and then, in the World Cup and U21s, we meet old friends or rivals Sarzonia. And guess what? We bump into them in the IFST again.

The rivalry from other tournament is not gone. It's bigger and better than ever. So cheer out Futsal team. They weren't expected to make the quarter finals but hey, they did it.

The Macabees vs. Ariddia
One of hosts vs winner of group D. The Golden Throne won group A, but we don't know why they aren't in the quarters.

Sarzonia vs. Jerusalem
The winner of Group B vs winner of Group A. Clash of the titans.

Caprine States vs. Starblaydia
2nd in group D vs 2nd group B. Don't know much about Caprine States, but Starblaydia are always competitive in any game of soccer.

Druida vs Jafor 2
2nd in group A vs 2nd in group C. Jafor 2 have done well, but Druida is tough challenge.

Quarter Final Scorings!

The Macabees 5:7 Ariddia

Sarzonia 5:6 Jerusalem

Caprine States 8:9 Starblaydia

Druida 7:7 Yafor 2
5:1[AET]


Congratulations!


Semi-Final Schedule

Ariddia vs. Starblaydia
Jerusalem vs. Druida

8pm news

Ahmed Jones: “. . . and in sport, there was partying today as the Ariddian futsal team secured a place in the championship’s semi-finals, defeating the tournament hosts. Our reporter Nicholas Le talked to the team just after the match.”

The screen shifts to an image of the indoor field, where players of both sides are swapping shirts, shaking hands, and heading out of the room to change or talking to journalists. Three Ariddian players are standing close by.

Le: “Laetitia, Au, Simon, thank you for talking to us, and above all congratulations. 7-5! Was it a difficult match?”

The players look at one another, seeming unsure who should answer first, then Laetitia Erikson speaks us.

Erikson: “Very. The Macabees are a good team. They were leading us 3-2 by half-time, and they played very well. It was a challenging match.”

Le: “But you were all extremely active in the second half. Do you think your 1-3 formation was what did the trick?”

Rodriguez: “It probably helped. It has so far. But we practised hard for this match, and I’m just glad we were able to pull off such a performance, against the Macabees no less.”

Le: “And what about next time? You may not know yet, but Starblaydia beat the Caprine States by 9 goals to 8. So you’ll be going up against them in the semis.”

Again the players look at one another. Au Lo grins.

Lo: “Uh-oh. We’ll be ready for them. It should be an interesting game, to say the least.”

Rodriguez: “They’ll be wanting revenge for our last encounter. We’ll be making sure they don’t get it. But it’ll make them even more of a tough opponent.”

Le: “Well, I’m sure a lot of people will be watching that match. You’re getting a lot of support from back home. Good luck!”


Final score:
The Macabees 5 – 7 Ariddia
Ariddian goals by Sailman (6, 31, 38), Rodriguez (14), E’e (34, 42, 46)

After normal time, and a 7-7 draw with Yafor 2...

"Right, well played everyone. We've done well to get a draw here. However, from here on in, it should be easy. All you have to do is let them score first!"

"But why, boss?"

"Well, I've convinced their staff that it's first goal wins. All you have to do is wait for them to score, then run rings around the lot of them while they're celebrating!"

"It won't work!"

"It can't fail!"

- - - - -

"Did you see them? Running over to the bench as if the thing had finished! And during that time, we popped five past them! Boss, you've done us proud today!"

"It was nothing! Next time, though, go out and beat Jeruselem before the end, yeah?"

JGN Reporter: Well done to boys on their 6-5 win agains Sarzonia.
Coach: Well, we didn't expect to make it to the semis but this team of veterans and youngersters are doing well. Beating the 2nd world cup seed in Futsal is not something trivial
JGN Reporter: You play Druida who beat Yafor 2 in overtime. Any thoughts
Coach: Druida is great soccer country in any type of soccer. We'll do our best to make the final.
JGN reporter: What about the Ariddia vs Starblaydia semi
Coach: Don't know much about Ariddia but anyone who can beat the Starblaydians has to be good. Starblaydia should win really, but this is soccer. Anyone can win
JGN reporter:Is Futsal a potential winner for the future
Coach: It is. This tournament should help promote it. Hopefully it'll get bigger next year
JGN report: Good luck with the next game.
Coach: We'll need it

Futsal Semi-Finals!

Ariddia 8:6 Starblaydia
Jerusalem 7:3 Druida

ET ASH’E: “And as we’ve just watched the national anthem played and the ulek performed, the game is about to begin. They just keep getting more and more exciting, don’t they?”

JEREMY DENG: “The Macabees, and now Starblaydia again. . . There’s been a huge level of excitement among Ariddians everywhere in the days leading up to this match. The Starblaydia Maestros are going to be wanting payback, and both sides will probably be hyped up more intensely than for any match so far.”

ASH’E: “And the prize to win is a place in the finals!”

DENG: “Quite so. Was it me, or did our team seem even more energetic with their ulek just now?”

ASH’E: “No, I saw it too. Probably trying to intimidate the Starblaydis. It might take more than that, though. . . Ah, the game has started!”

DENG: “And a *very* strong, aggressive start by Montefalcon for Starblaydia, who skilfully tackles Sailman! It’s not a foul, and everyone else on the field is scrambling to react. He passes to Di Bradini, that is, Simeone Di Bradini, who. . . Erikson has intercepted it! She can’t pass it clearly, Naoki has it, shoots! Saved by Lo. But that was a powerful shot on goal by Starblaydia within the first few seconds of the game! I wonder what this tells us about the rest of the match!”

ASH’E: “I don’t know, Jeremy, but the spectators seem to love it! They’re cheering wildly!”


8th minute

ASH’E: “Still one all. . . And still a fast-paced game, although both sides seem to have slowed down very slightly. Erikson to Rodriguez. . . He loses it to Azanulbizarn. . . No, he’s got it back! He passes to E’e. . . who shoots! It bounces back off the side! Straight to Sailman! He shoots! It’s a goal!”

DENG: “Well, that was an unusual goal, but it’s 2-1 now, and Ariddia have taken the lead!”


22nd minute

ASH’E: “Both sides seem to be playing a little more cautiously now, and– Wait! I may have spoken too soon! Rodriguez has managed to slip past Montefalcon! He shoots, it’s an awkward angle and. . . It’s off the top bar! And it’s bounced off straight to Azanulbizarn, who clears it far for Di Bradini! Sailman’s in his way, he passes him. . . Erikson now! He passes to Naoki, who passes back to him quickly, Erikson is defeated, Di Bradini shoots! Goal! 4-4! An equaliser!”


47th minute

DENG: “There are only a few minutes left now. . . The suspense is dreadful! Ariddia have a two goal lead, but can they hold on to it? The game isn’t won yet! It’s been close throughout, and Starblaydia could still score two goals in the last few minutes.”

ASH’E: “They’re certainly giving it their best try! Lo to Erikson. . . Erikson to E’e. . . E’e to. . . It’s intercepted by Azanulbizarn! He plays it back quickly, for Naoki. Erikson is there, blocks him, gets the ball back into the Starblaydi side of the field!”

DENG: “Sailman has it now, but Starblaydia is defending well. And their defence has a tendency to quickly turn into an effective attack. Three minutes left on the clock, and these may well be the longest three minutes ever for Ariddia’s players. . .”


Full time

ASH’E: “That’s it! The whistle! Ariddia has made the finals!”

DENG: “This is amazing! Before this tournament, most Ariddians had never even heard of futsal! And now our team has made the international final. Listen to the Ariddian supporters in the room!”

ASH’E: “They’re going wild! The players are shaking hands with their opponents. Starblaydia will go on to dispute the match for the third place. They played well, even if it just wasn’t enough. Starblaydia’s Maestros definitely didn’t put their country to shame.”

DENG: “And we’ve just been informed that Jeruselem’s lead over Druida has held, and they’ve won their match 7-3. So Jeruselem will be Ariddia’s opponents in the final. Well! This is a first. Ariddia has never made it quite this far in football.”

ASH’E: “No, indeed; third place is Ariddia’s football record. Anyway, I’m sure there’s going to be partying throughout Ariddia tonight! The whole country seemed gripped by futsal fever even by the quarter-finals. In the meantime, we’re going to go and see if we can talk to the players. . .”


Final score
Ariddia 8 – 6 Starblaydia

"I told you you shouldn't've just played with midfielders! We might've won, otherwise!"

"With this lot? Given the players we could have chosen from, I think the semi-finals was beyond our wildest dreams, don't you?"

"Well... uh..."

"Look, back home, I doubt anyone even realised we were here! This lot are supposed to be the future of Druidan football! And what coverage do we get? I'll tell you what coverage we get! A minute long slot between international shoe flinging and the All-Druidan Tigs Championships, that's what! WE... We were the only nation who didn't actually have a single reporter at any of the grounds! It's as if nobody cares all that much. I mean, they didn't even send us Eric Tree!"

"So I guess you're proud of the team for getting this far then?"

"Not really. We lost to Jeruselem. Need I say more?"

JGN reporter: Well done. 7-3 against Druida. We weren't expecting that result in semi-final. It was supposed to be close one.
Coach: I was surprised. We played really well, but I fully expected the score to me more like 6-4 or 8-7 but not 7-3. I guess Druida had a bad day, but you have to play at your best in semi-final.
JGN reporter: So what about our hopes of taking the cup home?
Coach: Given the last two results, great. Druida and Sarzonia are great teams to beat in any soccer game.
JGN reporter: Ariddia beat Starblaydia 8-6.
Coach: The Starz were our expected opponent. Looks like we'll be watching videos about Ariddia games tonight. We don't much about Ariddia.
JGN reporter: What's the secret to our success to far?
Coach: Hard work, training and divine intervention. Can't ask for more. The boys train and play hard.
JGN reporter: The defense looks good throughout the tournament
Coach: You need to stop them scoring first. Winning from behind is not easy and when you throw more attackers in, defense suffers.
JGN reporter: Good luck
Coach: Thanks
JGN reporter: If we win this, you have chance to become World Cup coach maybe?
Coach: No much chance, the current coach did great job leading the team into 2nd round.
JGN reporter: U21 coach maybe?
Coach: I would like help but younger coaches need to emerge. This job is fine by me.

Futsal Finals!

Jerusalem 7:7 Ariddia
Jerusalem 3:6 Ariddia


As for third and fourth places:

Druida 7:2 Starblaydia

Ariddian Futsal Team Amazing and Amazed

Such was the main headline in Ariddia’s most widely read newspaper, La Voix du Peuple. The article dealt with Ariddia’s performance yesterday in the First International Futsal Tournament. “Les Rouges” faced Jeruselem in the final for a chance to win the first ever Tournament Cup. . . and the two teams’ duel was breathtaking from beginning to end.

Not content with staying neck and neck virtually all the way through, Jeruselem and Ariddia racked up goals quickly in the first twenty minutes of the match, playing a fast, exciting game. Only after the whistle had been blown for full time were Ariddia finally able to pull ahead for a decisive lead. The supporters both in the stadium and at home could not have asked for a more stressful – and thus enthralling – final.

“Jeruselem kept us on edge the whole time,” Ariddian goalkeeper Au Lo said after the end of the match. “They really played very well, and they’d had deserved to win it as much as we did. But we won it, and I still can’t believe it!”

While Ariddia has tried its best eleven times to win the trophy in the football World Cup it founded, it has never quite made it, and Ariddians are thus unaccustomed to finishing first in a major international competition. “I think we’ll need time for it to sink in,” a slightly dazed forward player Tim Sailman admitted just after the game.

In Ariddia, massive celebrations erupted spontaneously as soon as the match ended, and continued on well into the night. Even this morning, Ariddians woke up to a generally festive and cheerful atmosphere. This was one evening the nation isn’t likely to forget.

“I’d like to thank the Macabees for having been excellent hosts,” a beaming Sailman added later. “And to congratulate all the teams that took part. For now we’re just going to go and party, and enjoy what’s just happened to us. And hopefully, our victory will fuel our football team towards a confident, wonderful performance in the World Cup, as well.”