NationStates Jolt Archive

THE ARCHREGIMANCY AND NEW MONTREAL STATES BRING YOU

CUP OF HARMONY XVI

In the immortal words of Cup of Harmony XIV co-hosts Lethislavania, “Welcome to the Cup of Harmony. Most would call you all the ‘Best of the Rest’. You've failed to qualify for the World Cup … but due to your outstanding sportsmanship and high-quality (or spirited) play, you have been invited to a special tournament. Hopefully you can enjoy this tournament as much as if you had qualified."

More information on the Cup of Harmony can be found here (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Cup_of_Harmony)

The sixteenth edition of the Cup of Harmony is hosted by the Archregimancy (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/The_Archregimancy) and the New Montreal States (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/New_Montreal_States ) .

Full details on our bid, the stadiums to be used, recreational and travel opportunities for visitors to our nations, and tournament organisation can be found in the bid thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=442900) (yes, that's a link). Precise confirmation of which teams will be playing in which nation and at which stadium will be forthcoming once we’ve completed the draw. Please feel free to use the information in the bid thread as you see fit to enhance your Cup of Harmony experience.

Invitations to the tournament have been sent out by our co-hosts in New Montreal States. You may reply to that invitation by telegram, or by posting to this thread. This will also be the thread for posting rosters, general roleplay, and just about anything else you can think of.

Matchday scores will be posted directly to this thread, not telegrammed.

Signups so far:
The Archregimancy (co-hosts)
New Montreal States (co-hosts)
Oliverry
Casari
Hypocria
Milchama
Hockey Canada
Praying2God
PopularFreedom
The Lowland Clans
Ruventsoria
Bettia
Harlesburg
Kaze Progressa

If there are no further sign-ups before the deadline (and we're only missing Chicanada and Elrich), then the tournament shall consist of two large groups of seven teams each with three teams each advancing. The two group winners get byes, the other four teams play each other, with 2nd place in one group facing 3rd in the other. Winners of the two play-offs play the group winners in the semi-finals.

----------------------------------------------

Visitors to the Archregimancy are respectfully reminded that ours is a nation of Orthodox Christian monks (and the occasional celibate priest). While we welcome the nations of the footballing world to our humble nation, we would like to request that you respect our unique cultural climate. In practical terms, this means the following:

1) NO RIOTING OR HOOLIGAN BEHAVIOUR SHALL BE TOLERATED. At the slightest sign of violent behaviour, all individuals responsible shall be immediately transported back to ordinary physical reality. They should consider themselves lucky - citizens of the Archregimancy who sin that badly are often dreamed out of existence.

2) Before each Archregimancy home match, the entire divine liturgy of St. John Chrysostom shall take place before kickoff, after the teams have arrived on the pitch (no sitting permitted). Rest assured that this should only take one and a half to two hours. However, teams playing _in_ the Archregimancy, but not _against_ the Archregimancy, do not have to have the liturgy take place before their match unless they specifically so request.

3) While heretics, atheists, pagans, freemasons and communists will be permitted into the Archregimancy for the tournament, that doesn't mean we have to like it.

4) Our praying/meditating monks control the nature of reality in the Archregimancy, but this is not used to cheat. All normal rules of football shall be observed. Unlike in the recent World Cup qualifiers, this includes injuries. In the interests of fairness towards teams playing matches in NMS (where injuries are not immediately healed through the intervention of prayer), teams playing in the Archregimancy will suffer injuries normally.

Note that the above applies to the Archregimancy only, not to New Montreal States.




OOC: finally, please remember to post your roleplaying preferences when posting your squad:
My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers Y/N
Godmod Scoring Events Y/N
RP injuries to my players Y/N
Godmod injuries to my players Y/N
Hand out Yellow cards to my players Y/N
Hand out Red cards to my players Y/N
Godmod Other Events Y/N

Important stuff that wasn't mentioned in the first post:

Archregimancy will not be available over the weekend. Please send all confirmation telegrams to me, and I will post them here to keep track until he can update it over the weekend.

Once your signup has been confirmed by Archregimancy or myself you can post a roster (please!) and any pre-tournament RPs you feel like.

We apologize to any nations who did not receive an invitation and wish to participate, but invitations for this tournament were determined by activity in World Cup 24. Nations new to NationStates football (soccer) should go sign up for World Cup 25 here. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=9638081#post9638081) Thank you.

Nations confirmed in addition to those listed in the Archregimancy's post:

The Lowland Clans
Ruventsoria
Bettia
Harlesburg
Kaze Progressa

Come on, Hockey Canada is in this thing to win what was stolen.

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers Y
Godmod Scoring Events Y
RP injuries to my players Y
Godmod injuries to my players Y
Hand out Yellow cards to my players Y
Hand out Red cards to my players Y
Godmod Other Events Y (no religious conversions of squad members, please)

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

OUR CUP OF HARMONY SQUAD



The Archregimancy is entering an unchanged squad into the Cup of Harmony.

The team kit (home on the left, change on the right): http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a319/vakraas/Archreg.jpg

Squad photo: http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a319/vakraas/squad.jpg

COACH:
Metropolitan Kyrill of Solovetsky returns as coach, once again assisted by technical advisor and World Cup Hall of Fame member Juan Tzimisces.

THE STARTING XI:
(The Archregimancy plays in an orthodox 4-4-2 formation)

GK:
Fr. Justinian the Thrice-Blessed (Pantaleimon): Roundly acknowledged as the best goalkeeper in the Monastic League, Fr. Justinian saved three shots in the Pantaleimon penalty shoot-out victory over Pantocrator that decided one of last year’s Monastic Cup semi-finals.

DEF:
Fr. Michael the New Hermit (Hermits United): On those rare occasions where he actually leaves his small cell high in the mountains to play for his team, Fr. Michael the New Hermit is a left-back of no little skill and refinement.

Fr. Michael the Greater (Troitse-Sergiyeva): His name has nothing to do with his devotion – this towering centre-back is merely several centimetres taller than his namesake and teammate Fr. Michael the Lesser. His height often causes total havoc in the opposing area during corners.

Fr. Dmitri the Humble (Pantocrator): While vowed to silence and humility, there’s nothing humble about this centre-backs crunching tackles. Unfortunately, that vow of silence means that communication between the squad's centre-backs isn't always perfect.

Fr. Michael the Lesser (Troitse-Sergiyeva): Club teammate of Fr. Michael the Greater, and a speedy overlapping right-back fond of taking corners.


MID:
Fr. Andrew the Twice-Found (Vatopedion): This left-winger has had two spells at Vatopedion either side of a spiritual journey through the vast emptiness of the Archregimancy’s desert.

Fr. Polycarp the Venerable [captain] (Simonopetra): Age shall not weary this well-respected central midfielder with a thunderous left foot. His inspirational performances in the recent World Cup qualifiers almost single-handedly dragged the team into the tournament proper.

Fr. David the Water-Drinker (Llanilltud Fawr): The only western-rite player on the squad, this central midfielder is renowned for spurning the heretical properties of Gatorade for the spiritually uplifting properties of pure spring water.

Fr. Pavel the Wanderer (Iviron): Iviron’s star right-winger – a celibate priest rather than a monk - often drifts in from the wing in the course of one of his trademark mazy dribbles.

FOR:
Fr. Silouan of the Seventy Caves (Solovetsky): This centre forward’s goalscoring ability is second only to his attention to the Holy Fasts - he was the leading scorer for the Archregimancy in the recent WC qualifiers.

Fr. Nicholas the Hermit (Hermits United): Perennial strugglers Hermits United (“Hermits Disunited”, as the far-too-obvious and not-really-that-funny joke goes) often rely on the goal-scoring miracles of this shy and retiring centre forward.



SUBS
GK
Fr. Gleb the Fortunate (Hilandarion)

DEF
Fr. Nicholas the Twice-Blessed (Solovetsky)
Fr. Alexander the Missionary (Zografos)
Fr. Alexander the Sailor (Pantocrator)

MID
Fr. Constantine the Learned (Simonopetra)
Fr. Michael the Equally as Learned as Father Constantine of Simonopetra (Iviron)
Fr. Theophilus the Golden (Vatopedion)
FOR:
Fr. Pavel the New Slav (Borisoglebsky)
Fr. Demetrius of the New City (Pantaleimon)

Praying2God will gladly join, as the CoH couldn't possibly go worse than the WC.

Greetings,

The Bay Football League (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/PopularFreedom_Bay_Football_League), which is the premier football league in the nation, is currently in midseason so unfortunately the best teams from PopularFreedom will be unable to attend (though then again in light of the rules about hooligans it is probably just as well).

In light of the Brunstone Grizzlies, the top team from the second tier league in the nation preparing for World Cup 25, our nation will be sending the second ranked team from the Pearson Cliffs Football Assocation (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/PopularFreedom_Pearson_Cliffs_Football_Association) (PCFA), the Harbour Sharks.

Formation: 3-4-3

Coach: Jesse Rathlingburg

*=Starters

Goalies:
Roscoe Smith*
Todd Devant

Defenders:
Jonathan Towers*
Peter Vandre*
Karvin Maystine*
William Sokur
Calvin Battlekin

Midfielders:
Thomas Vincent*
Edwin Burmingham*
Casey Franin*
Harvey Francis*
John Petrench
Samuel Eroni
Aaron Lincoln

Forwards:
Jason Greese*
Roy Biblia*
Cameron Post*
Martin Young
Andrew Rezcrest

OOC:
My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers Y
Godmod Scoring Events Y
RP injuries to my players Y
Godmod injuries to my players Y
Hand out Yellow cards to my players Y
Hand out Red cards to my players Y
Godmod Other Events Y (except no killing, maiming of players)

Reporters in New Montreal States and scribes in the Archregimancy were today scratching their heads upon discovering that PopularFreedom planned on entering a team entirely lacking in goalkeepers to the forthcoming Cup of Harmony.

"Perhaps they hope that Jesus Saves" said lead Monastic Times sports reporter Fr. Nicholas the Scribe, "but I think they'll find that not only is that a sentiment more usually expressed in that particular form by protestant rather than Orthodox theologians, but that on a purely practical level it may lead to disappointment on the field of play".

Reports that teams were clamouring to be drawn against the goalkeeper-less Popular Freedom could not be confirmed, but tournament organisers were at pains to assure entrants that the draw would be completely random, and that the various anonymous offers of generous cash donations in plain envelopes to the monastery of the organiser's choice could not be accepted for fear that the World Cup Committee might take a dim view of group allocation by bribery.

"And besides" said Fr. Nicholas "it looks as if in the ten minutes I spent writing this post , PopularFreedom have re-jigged their team sheet to include a couple of 'keepers. Oh well. That'll teach me to be a little more patient, won't it?"

The Enlightener: 16th September 2005 - this message was brought to you by Arorade
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y231/bettia/FAB.jpg



After the disappointment of the World Cup qualifiers, Bettian football fans have been looking for positive signs. Their maiden win in the AOCAF (albeit against unranked opponents) set the tone for an unprecedented scoring spree in the Under-21 World Cup which ultimate saw our Young'Uns through to the semi-finals.

Buoyed by these little glimmers, the Football Association of Bettia has gladly accepted their invitation to play in this Cup of Harmony, and has named an attack-minded squad for this tournament in an effort to see if they can go better than the third place they gained last time round. But before announcing the squad, the FAB has a little message for the rest of the world...

If they RP first, the Football Association of Bettia hereby gives
their opponants permission to RP / godmod anything they want, short of
killing any players. Cheers then.

So who are the plucky 18 hoping to put in a stellar performance in the famous green and gold quarters?


Keepers
Ricardo DiTorino - Akani Sands, age 19, 45 caps
Robert Sole - Lorshill United, age 22, 1 cap

Defence
Gwynoro Tyrno'r - Makosile United (Vilita), age 19, 3 caps
Musa Williams - Gabalfa Rovers, age 27, 62 caps
Geraint Carew - Vimesbairn Athletic (Cockbill Street), age 26, 69 caps, 2 goals
Gareth Coates - Grappenhall United, age 25, 56 caps, 1 goal
Wasim Morgan - Ceffinton Town, age 23, 26 caps
Ioan Keffin - Downton, age 25, 0 Caps

Midfield
John Connick - Rolestu FC (Bedistan), age 29, 64 caps
Evan Brooks - Gabalfa Rovers, age 27, 75 caps, 17 goals
Ieaun Swain - Grappenhall United, age 22, 31 caps, 2 goals
Jason Abdullah - Butetown Dragons, age 19, 17 caps

Forwards
Latif Hunter - Aigburth Athletic (Krytenia), age 19, 14 caps, 4 goals
Chris Hutton - Marine Coast United (Vilita), age 18, 46 caps, 19 goals
Gethin Ward - Gabalfa Rovers, age 29, 39 caps, 14 goals
Lewis Bin Majd - Gabalfa City, age 29, 5 Caps
Laurie LeClerc - Maindy, age 21, 2 Caps
Cynfor Gwyns - Roath Albion, age 29, 4 Caps


http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y231/bettia/bettia-kit.jpg

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers Y
Godmod Scoring Events Y
RP injuries to my players Y (But nothing life threatening)
Godmod injuries to my players Y
Hand out Yellow cards to my players Y
Hand out Red cards to my players Y
Godmod Other Events Y


Hypocria Squad - Cup of Harmony XVI


The Staff

Co-Coaches - Gregory Vidal and Michael de Winter (P8 W5 D0 L3)
Assistants to Guylain N’Dumbu-Nsungu but promoted following his sacking after the home defeat to Haperd during World Cup qualifying. Took charge for the remaining two qualifying games and the AOCAF tournament but will stand down after the Cup of Harmony when Sarzonia’s Dave Wilson takes over. They have lead the side to wins over former World Champions Crystilakere, Sarzonia and Bedistan during their short time at the helm.

Official Observer - Chris Trautwig
Former assistant coach of the Sarzonia national side and head coach of their regional AOCAF team and future assistant coach of Hypocria. Although not part of the management structure yet Trautwig will be with the squad getting to know the players and staff for incoming national coach Dave Wilson.



The Starting 11


1. Alex Derevko, (24, GK, 4 caps) - Hypocrium City
Despite being first choice at Hyper League champions Hypocrium City Derevko is the long-time understudy to Ricardo Kindelan at international level. He will be looking to put right the fact that the Hyppos have never won when he has been in goal.



2. Kieran Drakes, (30, DRC, 38 caps) - Pylos Reavers
A veteran of two World Cup campaigns, Drakes returns to the side after missing the AOCAF through injury. He started his international career in the centre of defence but was later moved to his favoured right back berth. He seemingly hasn’t put a foot wrong since. His younger brother is the reserve goalkeeper.

3. Ricky Poskas, (24, D/DML, 40 caps) - Hypocrium City
Ricky is an adventurous left back who loves to get forward and attack. His wickedly whipped crosses from the left flank are a significant weapon in the Hyppos’ armoury. His attacking instincts can sometimes lead to him neglecting his defensive duties.

5. Sergey Kreska, (25, DC, 0 caps) - Partizan Drissa
Excellent domestic form has lead to this call up for Partizan’s towering centre back. At just over six and a half feet tall Kreska is easily the tallest of Hypocria’s defenders. His 8 goals last season also highlights his obvious attacking threat from set pieces.

6. Marius Black, (21, DC, 21 caps) - Partizan Drissa
Young, talented and temperamental central defender and a product of the Under-21 system. Should form a solid partnership at the back with club team-mate Kreska. Black has played in the final of both the Under-21 World Cup and the AOCAF tournament but has lost them both. He will be hoping for third time lucky here.



4. Luc Sinclair, (23, DMC, 14 caps) - Partizan Drissa
A no nonsense central midfielder enforcer who specialises in breaking up any opposition move that crosses the halfway line. Luc is a former captain of the Under-21 side but has struggled to break into the seniors with 12 of his 14 appearances coming as a substitute. He’s in the starting eleven for this tournament and will be looking to impress.

7. Theodore Petras, (28, AMR, 26 caps, 1 goal) - Pylos Reavers
Petras was a member of the very first national squad and first choice on the right side of midfield. Since the emergence of Ashley Marshall he has dropped down the pecking order. With Marshall rested after his involvement at the AOCAF Petras has a chance to remind everyone what he can do.

8. Marcus Baxter, (24, DMC, 52 caps, 4 goals) - Sukatra Tigers (Bettia)
The only member of the AOCAF squad not to be rested for this tournament. With his wonderful range of passing and ability to break up opposition attacks Baxter is an essential part of the national side. Baxter was the first Hypocrian to play abroad when he moved to the Apex League after the Baptism of Fire. He also captains the side.

11. Bora Burdali, (24, AMLRC, 29 caps, 3 goals) - Football Pogrill (Squornshelous)
Despite being a key figure in the first national squad, and the player who famously missed the crucial penalty in the BoF semi final, Burdali has slipped off the radar slightly since his move abroad. He’s back now and, despite not being naturally left sided, completes the midfield four.



9. Andrei Shirko, (29, SC, 40 caps, 14 goals) - Hypocrium City
For years Shirko has been one of the Hyper League’s deadliest strikers. He hasn’t always reproduced that form on the international stage but he is still the nation’s top scorer. A clinical finisher who, when given a chance, normally sticks it away.

10. Alex Liberda, (26, FLC, 36 caps, 11 goals) - Everton City Reds (Krytenia)
One of the few players to emerge from a poor World Cup qualifying campaign with any credit. Liberda was the Hyppos top scorer in qualifying with 4 goals. He is also the only Hypocrian to have registered an international hattrick, in the 5 - 0 win over Kajiztahn during World Cup 23 qualifying. The forward should be full of confidence after a good first season in Krytenia.


The Substitutes

12. Andy Harris, (30, DLC, 16 caps) - FC Hypocrium
13. Stephen Drakes, (19, GK, 0 caps) - Tarsis Wonderers
14. Adam Cornell, (26, DC, 3 caps) - FC Hypocrium
15. Michael Powell, (29, MC, 15 caps, 1 goal) - Mercia Bromham (Krytenia)
16. Paul Dargo, (19, SC, 0 caps) - Dynamo Rasium
17. Adam Whitmore, (29, AML, 2 caps) - Hypocrium City
18. Patrick Remy, (26, MRC, 0 caps) - Partizan Drissa


Formation


Liberda Shirko



Burdali Petras


Sinclair Baxter



Poskas Kreska Black Drakes



Derevko

Hockey Canada's Cup of Harmony 16
Hockey Canadians looking to qualify.

The Hockey Canada Canucks will be coached by Toe Blake to lead the Canucks to a few wins. The Manager for the team is in queston.

Goalkeepers:

90- Kyle Thomas [18] (Cefn Albion) 54 Caps- Great goalie and experienced, he's writing the Hockey Canadian record book while he's still in his teens.
33- Damien Marx [24] (Irkutsk) 2 Caps- Good goalie to back up Thomas, Marx is just playing at the wrong time. Pity for a great keeper though.
0- Alexi Tarasov [25] (Vancouver FC) 0 Caps- On the rare occasion that Marx cannot furfill his duties as a keeper, Tarasov will step up gratefully.

Defenders:

4- Yanic Perrault [25] (Yakutsk) 49 Caps- 2nd highest scorer only to Kulkarni, Perrault just might make the Hall of Fame one day.
6- Petr Sylanko [33] (Anadyr) 24 Caps- The aging defender has been plagued with injuries but has the heart to continue.
8- John Cormack [35] (Vancouver FC) 16 Caps- Cormack may not be the quickest defender, but his sense of play makes him a dangerous threat to other teams.
10- Timmy "Timmah!" Johnson [29] ("Special" Care Centre) 14 Caps- He's "Special" off the field, but really "Special" on the field.
12- Kenny McKormick [29] (Revuocnav) 19 Caps- He's poor showing and underbelly of Hockey Canada. But his playing skills make him top-notch.
14- Evgeni Zimin [34] (Federal District) 23 Caps- A small and quick defender who isn't afraid to scrap up the field.
16- Leopold "Butters" Scotch [29] (Irkutsk) 20 Caps- He's got talent, but just afraid to use it in most games.
17- Tommy Hydulov [20] (Vancouver) 0 Caps- The rookie has big things expected.
20- Wladislav Shvlidky [28] (Anadyr) 3 Caps- Injuries have kept Shvlidky out of the lineup, maybe he'll be lucky.
22- Clyde Dunatek [28] (Yarensk) 2 Caps- Dunatek is in his prime right now, but without reacing his full potential he'll be a benchwarmer.

Midfielders:

3- Rahul Kulkarni [25] (Dionte City) 42 Caps- Highest scoring player in Hockey Canadian history, Kulkarni can score the big or small goal in any game.
5- Ike Broflovski [19] (Aigburth Athletic FC) 22 Caps- The young Broflovski knows how to play and play well.
7- Trent Tyvlov [40] (Federal District) 1 Cap- He's old, but one last try at qualifying will be gratifying for him.
9- Tyrone O'Dyliile [26] (Vancouver FC) 1 Cap- Immigrant from wherever, O'Dyliile has a monster kick.

Strikers:

13- Mike Ko [25] (Irkutsk) 46 Caps- 3rd on Hockey Canadian all-time scoring, Ko and give a KO to any team.
29- Steven Vaughn [31] (Yakutsk) 1 Cap- Vaughn scored an amazing 2 goals in WC22 in his one game. But that seems to be forgotten.

Hockey Canada will play a 7-2-1 formation.

Kits:
http://www.rivercitysports.com/thumbs/sku/83446.jpg http://www.rivercitysports.com/thumbs/sku/84603.jpg http://mod.imageg.net/graphics/product_images/pG01-788667th.gif

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers Y
Godmod Scoring Events Y
RP injuries to my players Y
Godmod injuries to my players N
Hand out Yellow cards to my players Y
Hand out Red cards to my players N
Godmod Other Events Y

Note: Stats are as they were the day before World Cup qualifying began.

Yeah ill sign up....

You can.....
Choose goalscorers
Yellow card players
Red card Forsyth and Lakkerston only
Do anything else except god damn injuries.


My team

[[/B] Alan Shearer Heavens Team Unveiled[COLOR]

[[COLOR=RoyalBlue]Shear Class


http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y231/bettia/shearer_heaven.jpg

Manager-Alan Shearer
Deputy -J.Milburn
Captain-Alan Shearer

The Team

Goalkeepers

Jamie Marjoram-Oh hes got everything ,good catching , brilliant shot stopping and reflexes .But one on one skills hell\heaven brilliant or repulsive you could call his one on one skills unpredictable.Liked in the locker ,room brilliant friends with Perkins ,Forsyth ,Corrigan ,Rutherford ,Southern and Norton.

Shay Given-Oh you know him-Good Shot stopping,catching,reflexes and one on one skills.Liked by all for his never give up personality.SUB

Defence

Dale Perkins-How to describe him...-his tackling skills always get the ball from opponents ,but sometimes earns him yellow cards. his air skills are good and so is his speed .His marking is good but he sometimes strays his marker -Friendly with all and mainly Marjoram and his friends.

Alex Forsyth-Same Tackling Skills As Perkins his air skills are decent but he is not particularly fast.His marking never leaves him and whom he is marking never gets a chance in open space.-friendly with all especiallythe gang(you should know who they are now).

Abberston Radoti-Hes good at everything but his speed and air skills always stop crosses and start opportunities by speedy interception.-Friendly With All

Bob Lakkerston-Brutal Tackling always gets him in trouble with the ref and he sometimes goes mad with the referee The Rest of his stats are decent-not liked much, his temper sometimes makes him openly mad.

Midfield

Abbreas Emre-Yes Related To The Newcastle Midfielder Lovely Skills And crosses are loyal to abbreas and he has good shooting and speed-Quite liked.

Chris Corrigan-Skills love this guy his crossing and passing is good and his shooting not that good and speed is good-part of the gang

Sean Rutherford-His Skills Surpass the best ,his shooting is good and his speed crossing and passing are very good-part of the gang

Jack Southern-Powerhouse His Atrributes Every single one are good-Except air-skills and shot power-brilliant!-part of the gang

Forwards

Adam Norton-Speedy Skillful-Very Passing and crossing good(when he passes!) Shooting good-part of thegang

Alan Shearer- Legend everything brilliant except speed he is the nations best player ever.So Good he had a nation named after him.-Popular-Locker Room Legend

Subs
Given-Decent-GK
Billybob-Decent-DEF
Jim-Honkraft-Decent-Midfield
Grent Hontro-Decent-Forward

Shearer, you can't enter a brand new nation into the CoH. Also, I'm fairly sure I didn't send you an invitation, since you said that you were replacing Shearer Heaven with whatever.

If you want to play as plain old Shearer Heaven, I guess you should get an invitation, since you were active under that name, but you can't plan with Alan Shearer Heaven.

This judgement is not final, I will have to discuss this with the Archregimancy, and he's not gonna be available until Monday morning Aussie time (Sunday evening U.S. time).

Alexandria Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Journal-Enquirer

Sports Section

Milchama roster announced
Note: All U21 Starter are from U21WC18 not the most recent edition of 19
3-3-1-3
Gk Tuck Koolerc- Great goalie with great reflexes. Is very athletic and is known for making spectacular saves.
D Silas Milckey- Recently traded for U21 starter Florfenord great defender with wonderful arial ability will help the team out a lot.
D Kendric Pevingon- U21 starter. Reliable central defender who's not great at anything but good at many things. Played great defense for the last couple games of qualifying hopes for more in the CoH.
D Mills Thompson- U21 starter. 6 foot 4 and is dominating in the air scored a few times in the U21 Cup and in the World Cup qualifiers can do many good things both in the air and on the ground.
M Darian Flinters- U21 starter. He scored a goal in the second round game against Chicanada. He's a very speedy player who can run through and around people at any time is usually a jump starter for the offense.
M Billy Timmons- Captain of the squad 4 years ago at the last world cup still a good player but this will be his last attempt (probably) will be emotional leader and captain.
M Johnny Rintell- U21 starter. Great ball handler can do many things with the ball that just look impossible always a difference maker in the midfield.
I Dunston Copperlee- U21 starter and best soccer player ever to come out of Milchama so far. He was the leader in both goals and assists last year in the MFL. He can do everything wonderfully. He will be the big reason as to whether Milchama advances or falters.
F J.J. Faren- U21 starter. Faren was excellent in U21 tourney scoring a goal and making several excellent crosses a game. He will try to set up Marc J. Floren to score some goals.
F Marc J. Floren- Great player and all time leading goal scorer in the MFL. Can score from anywhere and with both head and foot will be the spearhead of the attack and a major pain for defenses.
F F Tuck Feders- Excellent crosser and good with the ball. In to jumpstart the offense
Subs:
Gk Marcos Ollins- U21 starter. Second best goalie in Milchama
D Brandon Callers- Central defender the offensive replacement for Pat O Brian. Very fast.
M Doni Kunalin- U21 starter. Great ball handler, passer, and set piece taker the perfect person for Center Midfield.
F Matt Bantin- U21 starter. Great goalscorer only sub because of Floren.
F Jacky Macnaturn- Great ball handler, he can go thru defenders like a knife thru butter. He will be relied to open up the defense to allow the Milchama attack to really go.

The kits for the cup of harmony are as follows: Home: http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/si...ds/Milchama.jpg (http://)
Away:http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/si...ilchamaAway.jpg (http://)
OOC: I know the links for the kits don't work and i don't know what to do about them so if anybody can help please do

Casari Enters Cup of Harmony
"Our players need booze money!"

Once again, Casari is on the edge of falling ass-backward into another International Soccer competition.

"See, it just works this way. If we don't play, we're not going to be paid. And we need money to purchase the alcohol that keeps Casaran Society stubling along like it has for the past hundred years or so." CSA Appointed Team Manager Vivica Hill said.

The team announcements then followed.

Coaching Staff
Name Age Pos Prior Experience
Vivica Hill 29 General Manager WC24, BF11
Tim Bridges 41 Head Coach WC24, BF11
Stephan Solderberg 34 Assistant Coach WC24, BF11
Dick Eidswick 36 Offense Coach WC24, BF11
Giancarlo Fivialli 31 Defense Coach WC24, BF11
Bri Norman 29 Goalkeeper Coach WC24, BF11
Willi Hutchenson 52 Scout WC24, BF11
Nickolas Veran 34 Head Trainer WC24, BF11

Players
No. Name Club Age Pos Prior Experience
1 Scott William Tyrellian International 21 GK WC24, BF11
3 Ari Saienz Tyrellia City 22 F WC24, BF11
4 Calvin Eskan Granite City FC 20 M Rookie
7 John Grainger Tyrellian International 24 M WC24, BF11
9 Mike Newberry Brighton Hill FC 23 F WC24, BF11
10 Steven MacLellan FC Fairford 28 D WC24, BF11
11 Eddie Oliver West Baronies FC 26 D WC24, BF11
13 Alex Pilot Leyton FC 31 F WC24, BF11
15 Alberto Larini Winton Market FC 22 M WC24, BF11
18 Jay Letra Tyrellian International 20 D WC24, BF11
21 Masahiro Noda Tyrellia City 26 D WC24, BF11
26 Robbie Archer Brighton Hill FC 25 M WC24, BF11
33 James Salvitore Cornerian 22 F Rookie
34 Salvidore Rooney FC Tica 24 GK WC24, BF11
42 Greg Ruhlman Tyrellian International 25 F WC24, BF11
44 Andy Ronalo Tyrellian International 27 F WC24, BF11
57 Chris Novena FC Fairford 25 D WC24, BF11
68 Brian Nelson Tyrellia City 21 D WC24, BF11
97 Pedro Romi Inslow FC 21 M WC24, BF11
98 Piero Capelli Tyrellia City 23 M WC24, BF11

The strong core that made reletively strong showings in both the Baptism of Fire and the World Cup is returning, lead by head striker and offensive dynamo, Andy Ronalo from Casaran Division 1 Champions Tyrellian International. Captain Alex Pilot of Layton FC is also returning for this tournement, as is the entire coaching staff, including head coach Tim Bridges after recieving several offers to coach in the professional league. The team features 2 rookies, Forward James Salvitore from the Division 2 team Cornerian, and Calvin Eskan Of Granite City FC, winners of this years CSA and Fire Cups.

"We go into this tournement with the hopes we go into every other one with. Not to lose horribly."

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers Y
Godmod Scoring Events Y
RP injuries to my players Y
Godmod injuries to my players Y
Hand out Yellow cards to my players Y
Hand out Red cards to my players Y
Godmod Other Events Y, just try not to kill anyone please

Cup of Harmony XVI's Oliverrian rosters unvailled yesterday!!

The sad part was that Jean Soqueure was not there. But, it is thought that he was going crazy because his Beer-flavoured water wasn't arrived yet.

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers
Godmod Scoring Events
Godmod injuries to my players
Hand out Yellow cards to my players
Godmod Other Events

Oliverrian roster for CoH16:

GK: Jean-Alan Bellemort(17)
GK: Joey St. Laurent(38)

DF: Don Teriaux(3)
DF: Louis Dubé(65)
DF: Francis Delorient(12)

MF: Newton Hart(87)
MF: Louis Regent(23)
MF: Gerard Laroche(39)
MF: Youri Berger(30)

FW: Patrick Durocher(83)
FW: Turbide Illois(11)
FW: Jean St-Leon(56)
FW: Yves Laroche(80)
FW: Dany Leroux(67)
FW: Mike Larochelle(47)

Shearer, you can't enter a brand new nation into the CoH. Also, I'm fairly sure I didn't send you an invitation, since you said that you were replacing Shearer Heaven with whatever.

If you want to play as plain old Shearer Heaven, I guess you should get an invitation, since you were active under that name, but you can't plan with Alan Shearer Heaven.

This judgement is not final, I will have to discuss this with the Archregimancy, and he's not gonna be available until Monday morning Aussie time (Sunday evening U.S. time).

As I understand it, Shearer Heaven has been deleted, and therefore cannot participate in the CoH.

Even though owned by the same RL user, Alan Shearer Heaven is a new nation which didn't participate in World Cup 24 qualification, and therefore also cannot participate in the CoH.

The plus side is that Alan Shearer Heaven _can_ participate in the BoF. Which, judging by the World Cup 25 sign-up thread, our young Geordie friend already knows.

Apologies to CoH participants for taking up bandwidth with this - we'll try and keep this sort of OOC post to a minimum.

With the deadline for confirming sign-ups coming within the next 24 hours, we'll be getting this little show on the road soon.

New Montreal Presse-Journal Devoir

PALADINS ANNOUNCE HOME SIDES FOR CUP OF HARMONY

Audioslavian comes out of exile to coach NMS

NEW MONTREAL - The Ministry of Morale has completed a shakeup after Jean-Rene Filon's murder of several players during the recently completed World Cup Qualifiers, and new Minister of Morale Sheila St-Anne, of Moncton Sands, Bigtopia, has announced the appointment of former Audioslavian head William Branstone.

Branstone is a controversial figure in his home country, as he engaged in political manuevering to displace Helmut Vilkaeous, the manager, to secure himself a temporary stint as head coach of their team.

Branstone is reported to be on a short leash, with a "three-strikes-and-you're-out" policy in effect according to one Ministry source. The same source went on to say that nothing short of qualification would be acceptable, since the Paladins are playing at home.

The NMS Board of High School Athletics has determined that it is in fact safe for high school teams to compete in the CoH. This triggered a dispute with the troupe of mimes that had replaced them, which went to court. The courts rules that the Board had legally withdrawn itself from competition, without regard to circumstance, and that the mimes could play every game if they so wished. They did, and here's the squad.

The Mime Squad:

G 55 Jose Theodore

D 12 Patrick Ross
D 15 Antoine Langlier
D 10 Martin Chasseur

MF 98 Kirk Roy
MF 66 Yannic Filaut
MF 45 Derick Castelmann
MF 2 Loic Perron
MF 17 Alexandre Thibault

F 55 Gordon Blanker
F 77 Tyler Johns

Subs:

24 Eric Beaupre
27 Andy Jameson
33 Ian McDougall

G 14 Maurice Bouchard

//OOC: My opponents may do whatever they want//

From: Presidium Quonesh, Chicanada Football Association
To: Cup of Harmony XVI Board
RE: Invite

The CFA and the National side are honored you have chosen to invite our team to compete in the Cup of Harmony.

However, as the Liga Chicanada and Chicanada Football Union have goten underway, teams are less interested in fielding a team in order to preserve their chances of victory, promotion or an avoidance of relegation.

Due to this, the leagues and the CFA must humbly decline the invitation to the Cup of Harmony, but thanks you once again for considering us as worthy to compete in the event.

Best Wishes,

Quonesh

[ooc: yeah, school's been a pain so I'm cutting back on the rp-ness and such. Maybe next time ;)]

THE MONASTIC TIMES

CUP OF HARMONY FIELD ALMOST SET
By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

Following Chicanada's decision to turn down the nation's Cup of Harmony invitation, organisers in the Archregimancy and New Montreal States were just waiting to see if they hear from Elrich before tonight's deadline so that they could complete the tournament draw.

"Nothing against Elrich" said an anonymous source at the Monastic Football Association, "But I hope they turn the invitation down or lose it in the post. Fourteen teams we can handle without too much of a problem - just put them in two groups of seven - but fifteen teams would be an organisational nightmare. Three groups of five teams each, with the three group winners and one wild card team advancing, perhaps?" Mused the monk "But that would mean shuffling the teams of at least one group - possibly all of them - between the two host nations, and we know teams like to be based in a single nation where possible."

Officials at MFA HQ were meanwhile forced to strenuously deny rumours that they were attempting to force Kaze Progressa to play in New Montreal States in order to avoid a repeat of the World Cup qualifying Excelite controversy. "Bring on the Excelites" said the same anonymous source "and we will spend the entire 90 minutes praying for their immortal souls"

Casari Broadcasting Alliance
"Maybe not as good as the government stations, but an entertaining lowbrow alternative nonetheless"

Lack of soccer action forces bored article writers to write previews and long, depressing retrospectives
Public Begs for mercy

As the start of the CoH Tourney slowly and quietly keeps wandering towards us, most Casarans have resolved to start the drunken revelry early, until one person who didn't have a few too many stouts yet noticed the following lines:

1) NO RIOTING OR HOOLIGAN BEHAVIOUR SHALL BE TOLERATED. At the slightest sign of violent behaviour, all individuals responsible shall be immediately transported back to ordinary physical reality. They should consider themselves lucky - citizens of the Archregimancy who sin that badly are often dreamed out of existence.

In minutes, an odd calm had passed over the usually-riotous Casaran Football fans, two-thirds of which currently own Hooligan insurance. The minutes passed as fans pondered the possibilities that might happen at games in The Archregimancy.

#1: The game passes calmly, with stong support for our travelling fans, but with no throwing of object, fighting, charging opposing fans, and drinking. The reports of some fans becoming seriously ill at the thought of this result we are sure is overestimated and is more likely from alcohol, but still.

#2: The fans riot, just like they always do. However, the thoughts of wasting all that money on seating when many Casaran stadiums are half to two thirds full to watch foriegn international games on large television screens might be a little ridiculous.

#3: Try to calm it down a little. "I'm sure we can have a nice game with no riots while still being able to drink." One fan said before he was arrested for attempted car-tipping.

However, in an effort to protect The Archregimancy from any ill-willed Casaran fans, who by definition are all drunken blowhards who care less about the result than if our team can beat up the opponents, Revolution Square Insurance and National Home and Business Insurance are joining together to offer both the New Montreal States and The Archregimancy over 500 million selaris (╘500,000,000= approx 200 million USD) in hooliganism insurance for damages incurred by Casaran fans as an article of good faith, and in traditional Casaran fashion, also to maybe get some free tickets.

OOC: this post subject to minor edits as day develops, but draw is final. Apologies for occasional minor organisational delays, but our RL selves live on opposite sides of the world - the USA and Australia

THE ARCHREGIMANCY AND NEW MONTREAL STATES BRING YOU
THE CUP OF HARMONY DRAW

(now with added rankings goodness!)

Group 1

1 The Archregimancy (59)
2 Hockey Canada (38)
3 Bettia (39)
4 Ruventsoria (49)
5 Oliverry (55)
6 Kaze Progressa (68)
7 PopularFreedom (74)

Group 2

1 New Montreal States (69)
2 Harlesburg (32)
3 The Lowland Clans (42)
4 Hypocria (48)
5 Casari (53)
6 Milchama (64)
7 Praying2God (82)
Match Schedule ('S' is for stadium - specific details forthcoming in separate posts)

1v7 (S1), 2v6 (S2), 3v5 (S3), 4 bye
1v2 (S1), 3v4 (S4), 5v6 (S2), 7 bye
1v4 (S1), 2v3 (S3), 5v7 (S4), 6 bye
2v7 (S1), 3v6 (S2), 4v5 (S3), 1 bye
1v3 (S1), 2v4 (S4), 6v7 (S2), 5 bye
1v5 (S1), 3v7 (S3), 4v6 (S4), 2 bye
1v6 (S1), 2v5 (S2), 4v7 (S3), 3 bye

OOC: Note - draw was randomly scorinated on basis of rankings. NMS and the Archregimancy originally occupied 5th/6th place in the draw. The move to first listing in the group for the host nations does not reflect rankings or chances of success, but simply allows the home teams to always play group matches in the largest stadium in their country according to the match schedule. The remaining teams are listed in their ranked order.

THIS POST TO CONTAIN TOURNAMENT DRAW

Arrival imminent

Sacrifices all over Hockey Canada have been made for a good draw.

THE ARCHREGIMANCY ANNOUNCES DETAILS OF GROUP 1 SCHEDULE

A hearty welcome ('bienvenue' to Oliverry and 'croeso' to Bettia) to all teams drawn in Group 1

The following teams are kindly invited to make their way through the portals to the Dreamed Realm forthwith. Yes, even the foul heathen Excelites of Kaze Progressa.

Group 1

1 The Archregimancy (59)
2 Hockey Canada (38)
3 Bettia (39)
4 Ruventsoria (49)
5 Oliverry (55)
6 Kaze Progressa (68)
7 PopularFreedom (74)

Matchday 1:
Archregimancy v PopularFreedom (Dreamed Stadium)
Hockey Canada v Kaze Progressa (Pantaleimon)
Bettia v Oliverry (St. Sergius-Holy Trinity)
Ruventsoria bye

Matchday 2:
Archregimancy v Hockey Canada (Dreamed Stadium)
Bettia v Ruventsoria (Solovetsky)
Oliverry v Kaze Progressa (Pantaleimon)
PopularFreedom bye

Matchday 3:
Archregimancy v Ruventsoria (Dreamed Stadium)
Hockey Canada v Bettia (St. Sergius-Holy Trinity)
Oliverry v PopularFreedom (Solovetsky)
Kaze Progressa bye

Matchday 4:
Hockey Canada v PopularFreedom (Dreamed Stadium)
Bettia v Kaze Progressa (Pantaleimon)
Ruventsoria v Oliverry (St. Sergius-Holy Trinity)
Archregimancy bye

Matchday 5:
Archregimancy v Bettia (Dreamed Stadium)
Hockey Canada v Ruventsoria (Solovetsky)
Kaze Progressa v PopularFreedom (Pantaleimon)
Oliverry bye

Matchday 6:
Archregimancy v Oliverry (Dreamed Stadium)
Bettia v PopularFreedom (St. Sergius-Holy Trinity)
Ruventsoria v Kaze Progressa (Solovetsky)
Hockey Canada bye

Matchday 7:
Archregimancy v Kaze Progressa (Dreamed Stadium)
Hockey Canada v Oliverry (Pantaleimon)
Ruventsoria v PopularFreedom (St. Sergius-Holy Trinity)
Bettia bye

Details on stadiums may be found in the bid thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=442900).

However, in an effort to protect The Archregimancy from any ill-willed Casaran fans, who by definition are all drunken blowhards who care less about the result than if our team can beat up the opponents, Revolution Square Insurance and National Home and Business Insurance are joining together to offer both the New Montreal States and The Archregimancy over 500 million selaris (╘500,000,000= approx 200 million USD) in hooliganism insurance for damages incurred by Casaran fans as an article of good faith, and in traditional Casaran fashion, also to maybe get some free tickets.

The Casaran offer of anti-hooligan insurance is gratefully acknowledged. However, as Casari is playing group matches in New Montreal States, the offer of insurance is unnecessary as Casaran fans can riot to their little heart's content in NMS - subject, of course, to whatever legal proscriptions are in force in NMS.

Should Casari qualify for the playoffs or semifinals in the Archregimancy, then we can re-examine the issue as appropriate, but remember that rioting fans are subject to immediate removal from the Archregimancy. And when we say immediate, we mean immediate - they'll simply find themselves waking up back in Casari after being dreamed out of the Dreamed Realm.

NMS schedule and match locations

1 New Montreal States (69)
2 Harlesburg (32)
3 The Lowland Clans (42)
4 Hypocria (48)
5 Casari (53)
6 Milchama (64)
7 Praying2God (82)

Matchday 1:

New Montreal States vs. Praying2God at the Paladin Dome
Harlesburg vs. Milchama at Chateauguay Field
The Lowland Clans vs. Casari at Eagle Stadium

Matchday 2:

New Montreal States vs. Harlesburg at the Paladin Dome
The Lowland Clans vs. Hypocria at Hull Pitch
Casari vs. Milchama at Chateauguay Field

Matchday 3:

New Montreal States vs. Hypocria at the Paladin Dome
Harlesburg vs. The Lowland Clans at Eagle Stadium
Casari vs. Praying2God at Hull Pitch

Matchday 4:

Harlesburg vs. Praying2God at Chateauguay Field
The Lowland Clans vs. Milchama at Eagle Stadium
Hypocria vs. Casari at Hull Pitch

Matchday 5:

New Montreal States vs. The Lowland Clans at the Paladin Dome
Harlesburg vs. Hypocria at Hull Pitch
Milchama vs. Praying2God at Chateauguay Field

Matchday 6:

New Montreal States vs. Casari at the Paladin Dome
The Lowland Clans vs. Praying2God at Eagle Stadium
Hypocria vs. Milchama at Hull Pitch

Matchday 7:

New Montreal States vs. Milchama at the Paladin Dome
Harlesburg vs. Casari at Chateauguay Field
Hypocria vs. Praying2God at Eagle Stadium

Chi Sun-Times-Tribune-Star-News-Today

Sports Section

Predictions of Matches

Milchama get bad draw hope to do well

The Milchama Warriors got a bad draw today in the Cup of Harmony becoming the 6th seed in and 5th highest ranked team in their 7 team group. With only 3 teams advancing the advance chances for the Warriors look pretty dim but the team seems to be confident. Captain Billy Timmons spoke to us saying, "Sure it might look tough but in our last couple of games we dominated. We beat the 40th seeded Lowland Clans and we almost drew 23rd seeded Nova Brittanicus who made the World Cup second round. We can definitely do good against higher seeded opposition." Coach Jonathan Fairbanks was just as positive, "Some of these teams while ranked ahead have only a few points more than us which means we could easily steal a few wins from under their noses."

Code:
1 New Montreal States (69)
2 Harlesburg (32)
3 The Lowland Clans (42)
4 Hypocria (48)
5 Casari (53)
6 Milchama (64)
7 Praying2God (82)

Predictions:
Match 1: Harlesburg vs. Milchama:We get thrown to the dogs early against the highest seeded team in the group. We play well but still lose. 0 points.
Match 2: Casari vs. Milchama: We crush the drunken bastards even if they have a higher rating than us. 3 points
Match 3: Bye We don't get any points from this match 3 points
Match 4: The Lowland Clans vs. Milchama:Our rivals are back again this time though the ratings gap is much less. We beat them last time at home so we can beat them again. 6 points
Match 5: Milchama vs. Praying2God: The other Warriors. Screw them, you heard it here first 5-0 scoreline. 9 points
Match 6:Hypocria vs. Milchama: They're good and they rejected our former national coach. We lose a close one here. 9 points.
Match 7:New Montreal States vs. Milchama: We've crushed them in everything else we have played why should it be different here? 12 points final total. Is this enough for advancement? Time will tell.

New Montreal Presse-Journal Devoir

DRAW COULD BE BETTER, COULD BE WORSE

"Par for the course" says coach Branstone

NEW MONTREAL - The Paladin Dome has been set up and all we need now are some games. These were announced yesterday by the Ministry of Morale, when it released the schedule for the NMS group of the Cup of Harmony. Herewith, our predictions:

Game 1, against Praying2God: This will be an early predictior of Paladin results in the CoH. A solid win or draw here will bode well for the rest of the matches.

Game 2, against Harlesburg: We're gonna get blasted worse than a vanful of hippies. Hopefully the carnage won't abuse our goal differential too much.

Game 3, against Hypocria: A solid challenge against a solid team. Could go either way.

Game 4, naptime. We launder our shorts in preparation for the remaining three games.

Game 5, against The Lowland Clans: Our only hope is that they're too distracted by their upcoming World Cup 25 bid to play solid football. Other than that, ka-splat.

Game 6, against Casari: The Drunkard Party has planned pro-Bob the random drunk rallies for three days before this game at the Paladin Dome. If the Casarians fail to stay sober we might pick one up here.

Game 7, against Milchama: Someone forgot to tell them that pride comes before a fall.

MONASTIC TIMES

TRACTORS SING TURNIPS - GOAT BUTTOCKS AND BANANAS!

The entire Archregimancy was puzzled today at the incomprehensible headline appearing on the front page of national newspaper the Monastic Times.

"What can it possibly mean?" various locals asked "and what - if any - connection might it have to the Cup of Harmony?"

Senior officials, talking on condition of anonymity, theorised that the sudden arrival of tens of thousands of foreigners to the Dreamed Realm may have caused a slight disruption to the flow of Archregimancy reality, which may also explain the sighting of seventeen alien Elvis impersonators dancing the lambada on an orange peel outside the Dreamed Stadium, though equally that might just have been part of the dress rehearsals for tomorrow's opening ceremonies.

Residents of the Archregimancy were assured that reality would return to normal later today, though this was not before the evening edition of the Monastic times authoritatively and mysteriously declared "Devil Bunnies! I snort the nose, Lucifer! Banana! Banana!"

The man sat quietly in the booth in the back of the pub, beer and sports section in hand. He whistled calmly as he browsed through it. He then came upon the large CUP OF HARMONY Preview section. As he scanned his, his expression conveyed nothing but calm assurance. He observed the roster, making a couple of notes in the margins.

Another man entered the pub, scanned the room quickly and found the man in the booth. He walked calmly over to the bar, order a beer, and continued on to the booth. "Well hey there my friend, I see you've got the Cup of Harmony stuff highlighted. You nervous?"

The first man paused, swallowed a large gulp of beer, and shoke his head. "Naw, not really. Our squad has learned a lot from the cup, and we'll do fine. Ac ouple of changes to include some younger players who've come up in the Premiership, but other than that, good."

"You hear the word coming out of Milchama?"

The first man sighed again, "Not those people again. They remind of Vilita when we first played them. Upstart young fools."

"You know, we're a lot more like them then we think."

"No we aren't, we don't have overly great expectations for our squad. We said they'd have a shot at qualifying, and they did. Milchama on the other hand, seems to enjoy collectively smoking way to much weed, or maybe spruits from Spruitland. Same thing."

"Whatever. By the way, let me see the paper, read what they have to think."

"Sure."

CUP OF HARMONY PREVIEW
Group 1 - New Montreal States
1 New Montreal States (69)
2 Harlesburg (32)
3 The Lowland Clans (42)
4 Hypocria (48)
5 Casari (53)
6 Milchama (64)
7 Praying2God (82)

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/new_montreal_states.jpg - The Silver Paladinate of New Montreal States (69)
Ah, our beloved hosts. While a fairly skilled team in their day, not quite so much anymore. Though they have fallen farther than the Stars with their one-cup absence, they should not be underestimated by any team anywhere. While they probably won't qualify, look for them to decide who get's to go through or not.
Predicted Finish - 4th

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/romania.jpg - The Confederacy of Harlesburg (32)
While the highest ranked team in the group, don't expect much from them. They're one of those teams who despite their high ranking just doesn't manage to do much. While still a threat, don't nail your expectations too high, especially considering some of the othe talent in the group.
Predicted Finish - 2nd

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/the_lowland_clans.jpg - The Allied States of the Lowland Clans (42)
Our beloved Lowland Clan Stars. While not head and shoulders better than this group, the Stars are arguably the best team in this group, at least in established talent. Expect them to definitely qualify, and even make a run at first.
Predicted Finish - 1st

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/hypocria.jpg - The Enlightened Republic of Hypocria (48)
Definitely a talented squad, I don't they have enough talent to match up against the hosts, the two higher ranking teams, and the dark horse Casari. Quite simply, they should finish higher than they will, but we could very well be wrong. Watch out for the odd upset with them.
Predicted Finish - 5th

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/casari.jpg - The Confederacy of Casari (53)
Despite their drunkness, these guys represent the up and coming cream of the crop in World Cup talent. These guys will be your dark horse that springs up on you, bitch-slaps you to death, then laughs at your corpse. These guys wil qualify, and don't ever underestimate them.
Predicted Finish - 3rd

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/jersey--67.jpg - the Warrior Peoples of Milchama (64)
You know what? We hate these guys to death. I'm mean throughly despise. There like that annoying high school freshman, the really mouthy one who ends up getting hazed more times than there are days in the school year? Yeah, well, they're the freshmen, and everyone else are the seniors. Expect maybe Praying2God, but even then, maybe.
Predicted Finish - 7th

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/united_states--56.jpg - The Democratic Republic of Praying2God (82)
Them? Oh yeah. They'll finish sixth just because we hate Milchama.

"Wow. I agree with them for the most part, but I'm not sure about Casari. I'm pretty sure NMS of Hypocria will take third."

The first man shrugs. "Well, listen, we got our first game tomorrow, I've got to go prepare."

"Cheers."

My opponent, if they RP first, have permission to:
====================
Choose Scorers: Y
GodMod Goalscoring Events: Y

Injure Players: N
GodMod Injury Events: N

Red Card Players: Y
Yellow Card Players: Y
GodMod Other Events: N
====================

The Lowland Clans Stars - The ASLC National Team
Manager: Gary Johnson
Formation: 3-4-3
* denotes starters
C denotes Captain
Strikers
12 – Gary Park, Highlangers *
5 – Rich Blythe, Highlanders *
10 – Iason Spyridon, Kolossi Fields *
4 – Quentin Porter, Okehampton Citizen
9 – Leighton Buntain, Liverpool City
Midfielders
13 – Westley Stjepan, Grand Captiva * C
6 – Jozef Gregor, Belgrad West *
18 – Aneiran Aindrea, Island Peaks FC (Vilita)
7 – Nathan McKay, Belgrad West
11 – Duncan Garret, (Spruitland)
Wingers
3 – Keefe Lavrentios, Okehampton Citizen *
2 – Aleksander Kostandin, Glasgow United*
14 – Ray Jerold, Alston Muhens
19 – Henrik Kiril, Milford Wanderers
Central Defenders
23 – Carson Lindsay, Glasgow United *
21 – Hosea Apagios, Leeds Forrest *
33 – Nikias Asklepiades, Limassol United
26 – Dragoslav Yuka, Graham City FC
Wing backs
40 – Vlasis Spiros, Limassol United *
20 – Bojan Vasil, Edinbrough Rovers *
25 – Shae Gareth, Grand Captiva
24 – Omar McMann, Liverpool City
Keepers
0 - Dylan Hughes, Okehampton Citizen *
99 – Darren Elliot, Grand Capitva

“Welcome to this special Cup of Harmony edition of The Sports Desk. Joining me tonight is former Under-21 coach and as of yesterday the new manager of Partizan Drissa, Matthias DiMarco. Congratulations are in order Matthias.”

“Thank you. It was a bit of a shock but I’m delighted to be back coaching in the Hyper League.”

“It’s Cup of Harmony time again and the co-coaches have announced their squad. It must make good reading for you. There’s a strong Partizan presence in there.”

“Yes, that’s good to see.”

“Let‘s have a look of the squad. What do you make of the goalkeeping position?”

“Well Ricardo Kindelan played in the AOCAF so he hasn’t travelled otherwise there is no doubt he’d be in the starting eleven. Derevko has his critics and there’s that statistic hanging over him with the national side never having won when he has been in goal. He played in the last CoH and looked nervous but don’t forget he was only 20 then. He’s older and wiser now.”

“And the defence?”

“The fallbacks are both experienced at international level and they have both proven to be solid performers. Kreska and Black are a new look defensive partnership but they form a solid central pair in the league. Black is a very talented defender but he does need to curb that temper. Kreska was part of my Under-21 squad so I know what he can do. He’s a good defender and a real threat from set pieces but he’s uncapped at senior level so it’ll be interesting to see how he does.”

“The midfield looks strong.”

“It certainly does. There’s plenty of experience there. It’s slightly different as the coaches will be fielding a more conventional midfield four rather than the Starblaydi diamond formation that Guylain N’Dumbu-Nsungu favoured. In the centre Baxter and Sinclair should do well. They’ve played together before at U21 level so this should be no problem. Petras is back in the fold after a spell in the wilderness and it’s great to see Burdali back too because he’s a quality player. With Baxter pulling the strings the midfield should do just fine”

“What about the forwards? Can they get the goals?”

“I think many fans were surprised when neither Shirko or Liberda was named in the AOCAF squad but that certainly benefits this side. Shirko is the nation’s top scorer, what more do you need to say about him? I think Liberda is perhaps one of the most underrated players in the side. He scores goals and he creates plenty of chances for others. And he’s the only Hypocrian to have ever netted a Cup of Harmony goal. There’s certainly goals in that partnership.”

“That’s the team sorted. The draw has now been made. What do you think about the format? It’s a little different from what we’ve been expecting.”

“Yes, two groups of seven. I like it. It gives us the opportunity to play against a larger number of teams we’ve never before faced. In fact, looking at our group, I don’t think we’ve played any of them before.”

Group 2

1 New Montreal States (69)
2 Harlesburg (32)
3 The Lowland Clans (42)
4 Hypocria (48)
5 Casari (53)
6 Milchama (64)
7 Praying2God (82)
“What do you make of the opposition?”

New Montreal States (69)

“They my be one of the lowest ranked teams in the group but they have home advantage so don’t write them off by any means. The NMS have been around for a while but have slumped a bit in recent years. I don’t think that they will qualify but they won’t miss by much.”

Harlesburg (32)

“The highest ranked team in the group. They people of Harlesburg are probably unhappy about competing here instead of in the World Cup Finals but here they are one of the favourites. The next round beckons for them. I predict second place.”

Lowland Clans (42)

“A big name that has fallen from grace a bit in the last few years. Hypocria has an indifferent record against teams who play in dark blue and call themselves the Stars. Hopefully we play better against them then we do against Sarzonia. Anyway, I predict first place for the Lowland Clans and a big shiny trophy too.”

Casari (53)

“A nation of drinkers apparently but don’t underestimate them because of that. Casari seem like they can play a bit but will that be good enough? They will come close but not quite make it. I predict 4th or 5th, wherever the NMS don’t finish.”

Milchama (64)

“Ah Milchama, the self proclaimed military power of the AO region. They’ve been ruffling feathers recently with some of their comments and certain teams will certainly enjoy a win over the Warrior Peoples. I think they may have bitten off more than they can chew so I predict 6th place for Milchama.”

Praying2God (82)

“Being the lowest ranked team in the group Praying2God may indeed need divine intervention to make it through the group. In the Archregimency praying might have worked but they’ve been drawn in the NMS so I’m afraid, as their ranking implies, they will finish bottom.”

“And the Hyppos?”

Hypocria (48)

“I had a look at what the various foreign media outlets had to say about us and this quote from the Lowland Clans caught my eye, 'quite simply, they should finish higher than they will.' How true that statement has been in recent tournaments. Finalists in AOCAF 9 and knocked out in the second round at AOCAF 10, seeded second for the Under-21 World Cup and failed utterly in the group stages and don’t even mention World Cup qualifying. It’s time we started showing the world what we can achieve. It’s time we started to actually beat teams ranked below us. So with no hint whatsoever of national bias I predict third place in the group for the Hyppos.”

“Thank you Matthias. Hypocria has a bye for the first round of matches but you can catch highlights of the first group games at 11:00 tonight and join us tomorrow, live from Hull Pitch, when the Hyppos take on the might of the Lowland Clans."

The Enlightener: 20th September 2005 : win a cuddly Tiddles today!
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y231/bettia/FAB.jpg

Aroras Arrive In Archregimancy

The Bettian national football squad arrived here in the Archregimancy to a warm welcome, greeted at the airport by dozens of local schoolchildren holding banners saying 'Croeso yr Archregimancy' and 'We Love Bettia (but not a much as the home team)'.

Preparing for the upcoming Cup of Harmony, manager Munir At-Tariq told The Enlightener "Obviously, we were disappointed after our exit from the World Cup. However, a good (by our standards) AOCAF which saw us gain highly creditable draws with Sarzonia and Bedistan, and an excellent Under-21 World Cup has buoyed our spirits."

"During the last Cup of Harmony, we were the top-ranked team in the tournament, and with that came a burden of expectation. This time, that burden has been lifted somewhat. Can we do any better than last time? It'll be tough - there are almost twice as many teams to contend with this time round."

Bettia have been drawn in Group 1 against six other teams.

Matchday 1
vs. Oliverry
Venue: St.Sergius Holy Trinity
The Aroras kick off against one of the other two AO nations in this group. Although they've recently faced off in the NS-Bowl (with Oliverry running out narrow winners), they have never played each other at football. This should be an interesting opener.

Matchday 2
vs. Ruventsora
Venue: Solovetsky
Bettia's next match is against newcomers Ruventsoria. The two teams have never met, although they do share a vague connection - both teams have appeared in the Baptism of Fire final. The only difference is the result - Ruventsoria lost 2-1, whilst Bettia won their final 7-0. Don't expect a similar scoreline though, Ruventsoria will be a tough nut to crack.

Matchday 3
vs. Hockey Canada
Venue: St Sergius Holy Trinity
The other AO opponent in this group, and the first of the teams that Bettia have met previously. The Aroras and Hockey Canada have met twice in all competitions, both of which were at the semi-final stage, both of which went beyond the regulation 90 minutes, and both of which resulted in a win to the Canucks. The Aroras will be hoping for some measure of vengeance this time, although it certainly won't be easy seeing as HC are one of the two teams in this competition ranked higher than Bettia.

Matchday 4
vs. Kaze Progressa
Venue: Pantaleimon
Bettia's fourth opponents are NS veterans Kaze Progressa. With a 29-place gap in the rankings, this looks to be one of Bettia's easier games on paper, but as the old saying goes 'Footy doesn't live on rankings alone'. This will be the Aroras' first outing against the Progressans.

Matchday 5
vs. The Archregimancy
Venue: Dreamed Stadium
Bettia next line up against the co-hosts in their rather impressive Dreamed Stadium. This pundit doesn't quite know what to expect - a firey atmosphere created by thousands of fanatical fans, or a solemn spiritual experience never before seen on a Bettian TV screen. The Archregimancy did venture onto our island a while ago to face Nedalia in a World Cup playoff, which saw our western neighbours come away with a thrilling 3-2 win. Can we emulate our neighbours and repeat this feat?

Matchday 6
vs PopularFreedom
Venue: St Sergius Holy Trinity
Bettia's last game is against a nation against whom we have recent experience, having faced them twice before in the World Cup qualifiers. Both matches ended in hard-fought score-draws, and so Bettia will not be underestimating their opponents despite them being the bottom-raked team in this group.

Matchday 7
Bye
Although hopefully not Goodbye.

The action kicks off soon, so stay tuned and roar on your beloved Aroras!

The Casari Broadcasting Association
"Not all our advertising money comes from beer commercials, sheesh."

Big Newsday today!

Cup of Harmony Draws announced
Public Rejoices for several reasons

The Draw for the nation of Casari's first ever Cup of Harmony tournement was today, and people turned out, as is tradition, to watch it standing in Revolution Square for really no good reason.

"It's better than work!" One fan said, offering our reporter a beverage.

Casari was named to play in Group 2, in New Montreal States, against a number of outher teams which seem to have varied opinions of our favorite country.

New Montreal States (69)
Our gracious hosts for the group stage, New Montreal States is a notable friend of Bob the Random Drunk, who along with being a member of Casari's Cherry Cup team. However, having Milchama in the group might tone them down a bit, because Milchama beats them in EVERYTHING. But still, we Like NMS and the home team always has an advantage in this sort of thing.

Harlesburg (32)
The highest ranked of the group. Will present a strong challenge, but we've done some more impressive things than take down these guys. Then again, when we talk confident we get reamed.

The Lowland Clans (42)
We predict pain, just like all others. But they're showing us some love, so we'll show it in return. They'll win.

Hypocria (48)
Middle of the road in ranking. Should make for an interesting match, but like all interesting matches it'll be a non-entertaining tie.

Casari (53)
Before we get started, we're ranked 53rd. That's pretty cool, I must say.

Because we'll be totally unable to put forth any sort of realistic idea of how we'll do, let's see what other nations are saying about us:

Hypocria
“A nation of drinkers apparently but don’t underestimate them because of that. Casari seem like they can play a bit but will that be good enough? They will come close but not quite make it. I predict 4th or 5th, wherever the NMS don’t finish.”

The Lowland Clans
Despite their drunkness, these guys represent the up and coming cream of the crop in World Cup talent. These guys will be your dark horse that springs up on you, bitch-slaps you to death, then laughs at your corpse. These guys wil qualify, and don't ever underestimate them.
Predicted Finish - 3rd

New Montreal States
The Drunkard Party has planned pro-Bob the random drunk rallies for three days before this game at the Paladin Dome. If the Casarians fail to stay sober we might pick one up here.

Milchama
Casari vs. Milchama: We crush the drunken bastards even if they have a higher rating than us.

The Lowland Clans are the only ones to give us love. This hurts, guys.

Milchama (64)
All talk.

Praying2God (82)
The lowest ranked team, but loveable underdogs. Still don't expect tons, but they hold a spot in our hearts.

Lastly, we know the team's schedule now as well!

1: The Lowland Clans vs. Casari at Eagle Stadium
2: Casari vs. Milchama at Chateauguay Field
3: Casari vs. Praying2God at Hull Pitch
4: Hypocria vs. Casari at Hull Pitch
5: Off Day
6: New Montreal States vs. Casari at the Paladin Dome
7: Harlesburg vs. Casari at Chateauguay Field

From the Tyrellian Observer
WTF you guys, we're not always drunk
We just prefer to be

While analyzing the foriegn reports on Casaran talent, the overwelming idea of us happens to be that we're lousy no-good drunks.

"While our nation collectively likes a pint now and then, we're not always incapacitated from alcohol." Prime Minister Meia Hunter said in a formal report today. "We might be rowdy jerks who like to tip over cars, but that's only on special occasions. After all, who doesn't riot when their team wins something. It seems Los Angeles always does."

Recent studies done by this organization have noticed that the hospitality sector has one of the highest profit margins of all the industries and services, but that's usually dismissed for no apparent reason.

"Wellsh, we knouwsh how to haveseh a good time." A drunk on the street said.

Oliverrian draw and schedule done!

The group draw was done yesterday in The Archregimancy. Oliverry was drawn in Group A. Here are the teams in Group A:

1 The Archregimancy (59)
2 Hockey Canada (38)
3 Bettia (39)
4 Ruventsoria (49)
5 Oliverry (55)
6 Kaze Progressa (68)
7 PopularFreedom (74)

Here is a summary of each team:

The Archregimancy: The only thing we know about them is that they are orthodox. Seeing their rank, they should be good!

Hockey Canada: The mighty communists ruled by a woman! (OOC: I actually thought women were not allowed to run communist states but it might be my sexism. Sorry if I hurt you HC :p ). We didn't play against them yet(we might, but I don't remember and am too lazy to check :p ) but we do know that a rivalry might happen since they're south of Oliverry. We know they are playing defensively and might be a good challenge. Expected result: 1-0 Oliverry is there is a miracle on field

Bettia: Another AO team. We don't know them, excepted by the NS Bowl.

Ruventsoria: A completely unknown team. We hope to do well against them.

Kaze Progressa: The co-hosts in the CoH hosting bid. We know they are legends in soccer and should win easily against us.

PopularFreedom: We don't know anything about them.

Here is the oliverrian schedule:

MD1: vs Bettia
MD2: vs Kaze Progressa
MD3: vs PopularFreedom
MD4: vs Ruventsoria
MD5: Party Day for the team
MD6: vs The Archregimancy
MD7: vs the mighty Hockey Canada

Good luck to every nation in the cup and please, if you know how, can you help the Oliverrian Soccer Association to undrunk Jean Soqueure?

Kaze Progressa will play their group-phase Cup of Harmony matches in The Archregimancy. They will also face Bettia, Hockey Canada and Oliverry - all better-known for their other sporting teams, a fate arguably set to befall the Progressans - while Ruventsoria and PopularFreedom complete the group.

'But that's just going to drive all of us on,' admitted key striker Nonbi Olog. 'We're trying to make sure football remains the top sport in our respective countries, and that's the kind of responsibility you thrive upon.'

Excelites have spotted that promotional literature for the tournament involves reference to a formula, allegedly used in World Cup 24 as well, along with references to 'scorination using dice' for several random matches. They believe that 'even The Archregimancy know now that results are randomly generated - or in some cases, not so randomly. Just look at Krytenia-Oaker.'

Allow opponents to select goalscorers: N
Allow opponents to godmod goalscoring events: Y
Allow opponents to injure players: check with me first
Allow opponents to godmod injuries: see previous answer
Allow opponents to hand out yellow cards/red cards: N
Allow opponents to godmod anything else under the sun: Y


Praying2God Warriors Roster

Head Coach: Paul Johnson (career record 17-19-13)
Assistant Coach: John Ball
Goalie Coach: Mark Williams
Trainer: Mary Ann Glover

G: Sarah Walker (age 25)*
G: Brianna Smith (25)
D: Christine Holly (25)*
D: Claire Paulson (25)*
D: Luke Royal (25)*
D: Jenna Sullivan (25)*
D: Ellen Peterson (26)
D: Loren Peterson (26)
D: Jessica Hollins (23)
M: Kevin Faith (25)*
M: Ashley Gore (24)*
M: Christa Nelson (23)*
M: Alissa Madison (24)*
M: Jessica Stevenson (24)
M: Michael Star (24)
M: Gwen Wall (25)
M: Kylie Holly (24)
F: Thomas Larson (25) Captain*
F: Kelly Carter (24)*
F: Sarah King (25)
F: Amanda Tracy (24)

WARRIOR SQUAD READY FOR GROWTH IN COH

The Praying2God Warriors are merely using CoH XVI as a learning experience to help them get used to their new formation that the Warriors had problems getting used to during WC XXIV. There will be more changes to the Warriors roster after the CoH, as four players have announced that they are retiring after the CoH, including all three reserve defenders. The most notable retiree is Amanda Tracy, who has garnered six points for the national team as a former starter.
The starting line-up for the Warriors hasn't changed much since they returned to international soccer competition in WC XX (the Warriors missed WC XXIII due to a time freeze in P2G), and will remain unchanged from WC XXIV. The Warriors are the lowest ranked team in the CoH, and are expected to struggle to earn any points. The front six for the Warriors have plenty of offensive potential, but the Warriors struggles were frequently defensive in nature during WC XXIV. If the Warriors can find a way to shore up their defense, they could make some noise in the CoH and beyond.

From the Tyrellian Observer
WTF you guys, we're not always drunk
We just prefer to be

While analyzing the foriegn reports on Casaran talent, the overwelming idea of us happens to be that we're lousy no-good drunks.

"While our nation collectively likes a pint now and then, we're not always incapacitated from alcohol." Prime Minister Meia Hunter said in a formal report today. "We might be rowdy jerks who like to tip over cars, but that's only on special occasions. After all, who doesn't riot when their team wins something. It seems Los Angeles always does."

Recent studies done by this organization have noticed that the hospitality sector has one of the highest profit margins of all the industries and services, but that's usually dismissed for no apparent reason.

"Wellsh, we knouwsh how to haveseh a good time." A drunk on the street said.

The Daily Druid

DRUIDAN GOVERNMENT WARN CASARI
By Bill Posters

Druidan President Drew Idder last night released a statement aimed towards Casari, telling them of the dangers of too much alcohol.

He warned that over-consumption of alcohol can lead to the downfall of governments and nations, citing the experiences of his former boss Margaret Smith as an example.

He also wished all the Cup of Harmony competitors all the best in The Archregimancy and New Montreal States, and declared his dismay that they couldn't have all made it to the finals.

Finally, reports of potential attacks by the pro-drink lobby here in Druida at the World Cup Semi-Final between Total n Utter Insanity and Liverpool England appear to be completely unfounded.

Drumroll please....

MATCHDAY 1

OPENING MATCH:
(The opening ceremony consisted of a candlelit icon procession followed by the Liturgy of St. Basil. That's the _long_ version of the liturgy)

The Archregimancy 4 - 1 PopularFreedom


OTHER GROUP 1 MATCHES:

Hockey Canada 0 - 1 Kaze Progressa
Bettia 2 - 2 Oliverry

Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
The Archregimancy 1 1 0 0 4 1 +3 3
Kaze Progressa 1 1 0 0 1 0 +1 3
Bettia 1 0 1 0 2 2 +0 1
Oliverry 1 0 1 0 2 2 +0 1
Hockey Canada 1 0 0 1 0 1 -2 0
PopularFreedom 1 0 0 1 1 4 -3 0
Ruventsoria 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0


GROUP 2 MATCHES


Harlesburg 2 - 3 Milchama
The Lowland Clans 1 - 2 Casari
New Montreal States 3 - 3 Praying2God

Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
Milchama 1 1 0 0 3 2 +1 3
Casari 1 1 0 0 2 1 +1 3
NMS 1 0 1 0 3 3 +0 1
Praying2God 1 0 1 0 3 3 +0 1
Harlesburg 1 0 0 1 2 3 -1 0
Lowland Clans 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
Hypocria 0 0 0 0 0 0 +0 0


OOC: just to clarify - perhaps necessary given the Archregimancy's eyebrow-raising stomping of PopularFreedom - NMS and myself are scorinating each others groups, e-mailing each other the results, and then taking turns to post the full matchday scores to the thread. While this means that we will take turns posting our own results to the thread, we are not scorinating our own results.

New Montreal Presse-Journal Devoir

PATRIARCH LEAVES FOR ARCHREGIMANCY

Will attend opening liturgy and game along with delegation

NEW MONTREAL - The Ministry of Morale and the NMS Autocephalous Orthodox Church have both sent delegations to the opening match and liturgy to be held at the Grand Lavra.

In attendance will be Minister of Morale Sheila St-Anne, as well as Undersecretaries Lucien Beaupre, Andy Bennet, Charles Coudain, and Jeanne Breton. Head coach William Branstone, the only non-orthodox member of the delegation, will be present along with team captains Jose Theodore and Tyler Johns. The Patriarchate will be represented by his All Holiness Vlacheslav I, Patriarch of New Montreal and the Midlands, Metropolitan Kyriakos of Hull, Metropolitan Ioannis of Chateauguay, Metropolitan Syvatoslav of Repentigny and Metropolitan Alexsandr of Laval.

The Patriarch sent a letter asking for permission to co-celebrate the Liturgy, and is waiting for a response from the monks in charge of setting up the service.

Hockey Canada's Guide to the Cup of Harmony

Jean Poutine sat in his office looking over the recent documents he had recieved just moments ago in an urgent message from Otnorot. Telling that other teams had released reports on the Hockey Canadians somewhat distressed Poutine, but he remained cool about it. Poutine had seen what other countries had foolishly written about the Canucks. But what most of them didn't seem to know was that they were finalists in the last Cup of Harmony.

The Archregimency- Ranked middle-class in the group, Hockey Canada shouldn't have too much trouble against The Archregimency. Though they're hosts, that won't stop the Canucks from getting some much-needed points and attempt to wrest a cup in this tournement. They'll definately have the home side advantage but even visiting a few places won't stop a bunch of staggering drunks.

Predicted points- 3

Bettia- Well look who's back and actually ahead of Hockey Canada this time! Bettia is known for their surprising skill and quick, witty plays. Keeping the ball moving and the Canucks' size will be key. Whatever the final score boils down to will mean either a great three points for either side or one point apiece for two very pissed-off teams.

Predicted points- 1

Ruventsoria- Ruventsoria is a rather new team to the Hockey Canadians and will be a nice try to see them face the Canucks. Size, speed and pure skill will have the Hockey Canadians reeling with their brick-like defense and pretty good offence. It will be good to see how much Ruventsoria will put into their game against Hockey Canada.

Predicted Points- 3

Oliverry- Ahhh those damn frenchies!!! Enemies of communism but lovers of their cheese-covered fries, Oliverry could prove to be a dark horse in this tournement. But as far as Hockey Canada is concerned, they have a little while to go before they can match up to teams like the Hockey Canadians, Bettians, and Harlesburgers (he he, burgers!). Hockey Canada will try to have a good Goals For with this game.

Predicted Points- 3

Kaze Progressa Hosts of the Cherry Cup as of now and not knowing much more they play, Kaze Progressa is still unknown to the Hockey Canadians. Despite airtight security to keep teams from seeing our style, Kaze Progressa has done the same wise choice to prepare for the tournement. Expect a goal-parade this game.

Predicted Points- 3

PopularFreedom Don't know, don't want to know, don't care. But at least we could see the Goals for in this match in large favour of Hockey Canada.

Predicted Points- 3

The documents have been laminated and sent in top-secret files to the hosting cities to Hockey Canadian officials and members of the Soccer Federation. This message has been smuggled from Hockey Canada and printed for public eyes.

WARRIORS RALLY FOR STUNNING DRAW AGAINST CO-HOSTS

That's right, folks. The Praying2God Warriors came from two goals down in the final seven minutes to pull out a 3-3 draw against New Montreal States, who are co-hosting the CoH. Opening the scoring for the Warriors was Christine Holly off a corner in the 34th minute to cut the NMS lead at that point to 1-2. NMS would expand their lead to 3-1 midway through the second half before the Warriors made their stunning comeback. Thomas Larson, the Warriors star forward, cut the lead to one in the 83rd minute on a cross from midfielder Kevin Faith. Then, with the Warriors crashing the net, NMS was forced to bring everybody back to try to keep the Warriors from scoring, and appeared about to do so when they appeared to have cleared the ball in the 90th minute. However, Warriors keeper Sarah Walker had moved up to midfield, and the clearing attempt came right to her. Walker launched a frozen rope just high enough that nobody could get a head on it, and with all the bodies in the box, the NMS keeper couldn't see the ball until it was too late, and was forced to watch helplessly as the ball sailed into the top corner of the net just before the whistle sounded. The Warriors defense looked shaky as they continued to attempt to get used to the 4-4-2 formation introduced by Head Coach Paul Johnson just before WC XXIV, but they showed improvements at times. The Warriors now get a bye to try to work out some of the kinks in their defense before taking on Casari in what should be a very interesting match.

William Branstone groaned. Everything had gone downhill for him since he was thrown out of Audoislavia. The NMS was a bustling place, to be sure, but not as big, and certainly not as talented at football, as Audioslavia. Their teams were composed of high school students, and in this event, they had all been replaced by mimes. MIMES! Here he was, coaching a bunch of mimes, and now stuck in some kind of religious service that seemed to never end.

Let us mystically represent...

He guessed that the choir was the finest monastic choir in exsistance, but it still wasn't quite to his taste. Now all those fancy people in fancy robes were parading around up by the front. He didn't fancy playing the Archregimancy after this.

Now one of them stood in front while all the others drew back to the side. And the one up front started talking. And talking. And talking.

Branstone turned to prayer for the first time in what had to be years. "Please God, make this man shut up." was his fervent, silent prayer. The choir started singing again, and someone - one of those bloody undersecretaries, probably - pulled him down into a kneeling position. This service just kept getting more and more eccentric, prolonged and dreary.

Everyone got up. The people up front reformed their fancy order. There was a different man in front. And he was talking. And talking. And talking. Branstone's prayer had come true - in a literal sense only.

//OOC: A double patriarchical Liturgy of St. Basil. That's a good four hours, at least. No wonder PopularFreedom went down 4-1//

New Montreal Presse-Journal Devoir

PALADINS DRAW WARRIORS IN COH OPENER

Branstone seemingly exhausted after marathon litugical service in Archregimancy opener

NEW MONTREAL - William Branstone was not at his finest tonight after his participation in opening ceremonies in The Archregimancy. It showed in his coaching schemes, which left open plenty of holes for the P2G Warriors to exploit on their way to a 3-3 draw against the home team NMS.

The Paladins opened on a strong note, with midfielder Kirk Roy one-timing a perfect pass from forward Gordon Blanker for a 1-0 Paladins lead after 14 minutes of play. The Warriors were quick to equalize though, with team captain Thomas Larson deflecting one off the left post after 32 minutes. Branstone then bungled a formation call, with the results being that NMS was momentarily running a 3-2-5 scheme. Warriors midfielder Christa Nelson was quick to exploit the mistake to put the Warriors up 2-1 going in to the half.

With Branstone reportedly catnapping during the halftime break, it fell to team captain Tyler Johns to fire up the players, and fired up they were coming into the second half. The ball was in the Warriors' third for spans of 4, 6 and 5 minutes, and a conversion on a corner kick by midfielder Loic Perron was inevitable despite a heroic effort by the Warrior keeper. Johns then picked up the third goal on a header after a shot by Blanker bounced off the crossbar to give the Paladins a 3-2 lead. It looked like smooth sailing from that point, except that goaltender Jose Theodore twisted his ankle. (He'll be back tomorrow). Branstone made another mistake, sending in Ian McDougall instead of reserve keeper Maurice Bouchard, and the Warriors were able to capitalize on the mistake before it could be fixed.

The Ministry of Morale has said that they'll let Branstone slide on this one. "That was the longest service I've ever attended. I'm worn down, and I've been Orthodox since my youth. An outside certainly can be excused for melting down," said Minister Sheila St-Anne. "Hopefully, we'll all be in better shape for the next game against Harlesburg."

//DANGIT! I was writing this thing and P2G beat me to the punch. I'll fix this later//

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

CUP OF HARMONY TONIGHT

With Fr. Nicholas the Scribe and Fr. John the Golden-Throated


"What a start to the Cup of Harmony, Fr. John."

"Yes, a magnificent victory for the lads, a crushing defeat of PopularFreedom, who no doubt now realise that true freedom only comes through faith in the Lord, not through allowing one's selfish desires to reign uncontrolled"

"Actually, Fr. John, I was talking about the opening ceremony, with the moving candlelight icon procession followed by the double patriarchal celebration of the Divine Liturgy of St. Basil. His All-Holiness Alexander I, Patriarch of Alasdair I Frosticus and the Dreamed Realm, making the trip over from the Holy Empire, to be joined by Metropolitan Mark of the Grand Lavra and Head of the Holy Synod of the Archregimancy, and Metropolitan Kyrill of Solovetsky and Coach of the national team - combined with, from New Montreal States, His All Holiness Vlacheslav I, Patriarch of New Montreal and the Midlands, Metropolitan Kyriakos of Hull, Metropolitan Ioannis of Chateauguay, Metropolitan Syvatoslav of Repentigny and Metropolitan Alexsandr of Laval. That's quite a collection of bishops"

"That it is, Fr. Nicholas, and with the home fans doubling as the choir, the angelic sounds issuing forth from the ground were truely inspiring. Even unto Ages of Ages wasn't long enough last night"

"But then there was a football match too...."

"Oh look, what can you say? PopularFreedom melted more easily than a candle on a Good Friday procession. Their 3-4-3 formation left them terribly vulnerable at the back, and and our opponents seemed tired after standing for the full liturgy. Can't understand why - though full marks to them for showing enough respect to stand. Let's look at the footage...

This first goal for Fr. Silouan after only 10 minutes came from a dreadful Freedom defensive error - a sloppy backpass from Burmingham, miscommunication between Vandre and Maystine, and Fr. Silouan slipped in and tapped it past Smith. Awful.

The second goal, twenty minutes in, was better. Fr. Michael the Lesser overlaps with Fr. Pavel on the right, sends in the cross (not the true cross, mind), Fr. David volleys it towards Smith, who parries, and Fr. Nicholas the Hermit cleans up. 2-0 at halftime - and it could have been three if the referee had actually given a penalty for this shamelessly sinful tackle on Fr. Silouan just inside the area. A yellow card for Vandre wasn't enough - if he was on our team, he'd have been doing some serious penance tonight.

PopularFreedom held out until the 60th minute in the second half, before Fr. Polycarp the Venerable was fouled in the PopularFreedom half by Franin, and sent in a trademark unstoppable 25 yard screamer into the top left corner.

The fourth goal in the 80th minute was a little more controversial. Watch the replay here - Fr. Silouan heads Fr. Andrew's cross against the bar, it bounces back down on the line, and the referee's assistant signals a goal. The PopularFreedom bench were incensed, and will still no doubt claim the ball hadn't crossed the line, but look - 4-0 was no less than we deserved at that point.

A late consolation for PopularFreedom from Biblia on the stroke of full-time still reveals some potential problems at the back - Fr. Michael the Greater and Fr. Dmitri still have a communication problem - but after three late substitutions and a stadium filled with monks singing hallelujahs celebrating a 4-0 lead, a slight slip in concentration's probably forgiveable."

"And the next match, Fr. John?"

"Hmmm, that's against Hockey Canada, who promise to be a much tougher proposition, and following their upset 1-0 loss to the foul heathens of Kaze Progressa, they'll be very much looking for a result"

"But still, through God all things are possible, Fr. John"

"Very much so, Fr. Nicholas, very much so."


Archregimancy 4
Fr. Silouan of the Seventy Caves 12, 79
Fr. Nicholas the Hermit 21
Fr. Polycarp the Venerable 63

PopularFreedom 1
Biblia 90

Alexandria Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Journal-Enquirer

Sports Section

Milchama Wins! Take first in group

The Milchama Warriors could not have realistically dreamed to have a better start to their Cup of Harmony campaign after a 3-2 win over 32nd ranked Harlesberg. The Warriors were expecting a very hostile crowd of NMSers who absolutely hate Milchama because we manage to beat them at every sport. Coach Jonathan Fairbanks said, "Well we could not hope for much better than this. A win over a team whose ranking suggests they should be getting kicked around in the World Cup instead of being in the CoH... I think we showed everybody that we can beat teams ranked higher than us which we have to do in order to advance this time."
Match Report:
The game started off well for Harlesberg as Kennedy Markoloman (OOC: all names temprorary until i see a roster) started playing very well getting the ball down the wing and making decent crosses. The Milchamian defense was doing a good job at defending the crosses but they could only do so much and in the 9th minute Harlesberg struck as a short cross to the left side of the box found Kyoto Tokina who shot the ball and scored on a nice shot. The Warriors tried to respond and almost found a goal in the 15th minute when Mills Thompson headed a corner kick just wide. Unfortunately on the ensuing goal kick the keeper kicked the ball very far indeed in fact farther than every player except Makoloman who easily went on the breakaway and slotted the ball past the keeper to make it 2-0 Harlesberg. The game almost went from bad to worse as Markoloman again had a breakaway but this time keeper Koolerc was up to the task and made a good save. After that chance the game settled down and while Harlesberg seemed to be getting the better of the play the Warriors defense seemed more than ready to accept the challenge. Slowly the good defensive play turned into good offensive play and Darian Flinters almost scored from 25 yards in the 31st minute. Only 5 minutes later though Milchama pulled one goal back as Flinters found Tuck Feders wide and Feders put one of his trademark crosses to the middle. That cross found Marc J. Floren's head and his header put the ball over the line to make the score at halftime Harlesberg 2-1 Milchama.
Second Half:
After the goal the Warriors started to make headway into the Harlesberg defense. On 48 minutes J.J. Faren almost tied the game before the ball was saved by the keeper and only 2 minutes later Jonny Rintell beat the keeper but not the last defender who cleared the ball off the line. After that Harlesberg counter attacked but it was cut short as Kendric Pevington made good work of the ball. He then sent it forward quickly to Flinters and with his speed Darian Flinters shot past the defense and got the ball right to Dunston Copperlee who juked one defender before putting the ball on net and in the net. With the score tied at two both the Warriors and Harlesberg seemed desperate to get the winning goal with neither team wanting to settle for the tie. Soon though it seemed like Milchama were actually getting the better of the midfield play and were creating more chances on net. Unfortunately the Harlesberg defense was more than ready and the majority of the chances came to nothing. Although they could not hold back the Milchamian attack forever and in the 82nd minute the Warriors finally broke through as Jonny Rintell after making two defenders look silly put a perfect thru pass for Darian Flinters who then showed why he is one of the best finishers in Milchama scoring a beautiful goal over the charging to give Milchama the 3-2 lead and the win.
Final Score:
Harlesberg 2 (9, 16)
Milchama 3 (Floren 36, Copperlee 58, Flinters 82)

In other news the Lowland Clans lost to Casari. One fan said, "We knew those drunks could do it and they did. Nice Job Casari!" He then passed out from drunkeness.

The Hypocria Herald Presents: Cup of Harmony (and related) News


We’ll Have What They’re Drinking
Andy Collins - Chief Football Writer

The first round of matches has been played across the New Montreal States and The Archregimency and there was no shortage of surprises.

In Group 2 (New Montreal States) the Casari players were clearly just a bit tipsy when they turned up for their match against the Lowland Clans, who were playing football seemingly before the Casaris (and us for that matter) had invented fire, and they came away with an impressive victory, 2 - 1 to the drinkers. Meanwhile, the group’s most modest team Milchama are going to be unbearable for at least another 24 hours as they too started their campaign with a win. They beat the group’s top seeds Harlesburg by the odd goal in five. In the final game hosts New Montreal States and Praying2God fought out an entertaining 3 - 3 draw. That leaves the group table looking something like this . . .

Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
Milchama 1 1 0 0 3 2 +1 3
Casari 1 1 0 0 2 1 +1 3
NMS 1 0 1 0 3 3 +0 1
Praying2God 1 0 1 0 3 3 +0 1
Harlesburg 1 0 0 1 2 3 -1 0
Lowland Clans 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
Hypocria 0 0 0 0 0 0 +0 0

Yes that is the Hyppos right at the bottom, an occurrence that would normally provoke panic and widespread sackings. But seeing how we haven’t actually played yet the HFA are postponing their traditional reaction for a little while.

In Group 1 (The Archregimency) Hockey Canada, finalists in the last competition, started with a loss, 1 - 0 to Kaze Progressa. Our western neighbours Bettia, who also had a good tournament last time, were held 2 - 2 by fellow Atlantians Oliverry. And I know they’re playing in the Dreamed Realm but someone should really wake up PopularFreedom’s players or they will be hammered by everyone. Hosts, the Archregimency top the group after their comprehensive 4 - 1 win.


Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
The Archregimancy 1 1 0 0 4 1 +3 3
Kaze Progressa 1 1 0 0 1 0 +1 3
Bettia 1 0 1 0 2 2 +0 1
Oliverry 1 0 1 0 2 2 +0 1
Hockey Canada 1 0 0 1 0 1 -2 0
PopularFreedom 1 0 0 1 1 4 -3 0
Ruventsoria 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

Hyppos Relaxed and Ready
Gary Oldbon in the New Montreal States

In the Royal Springs Spa Resort, north of Hull where the Hyppos take on the Lowland Clans tonight, Hypocria’s players are relaxing ahead of their first match. I caught up with time team physio Eric Lewin who told me how this trip was helping the players,

“Of course this is beneficial to the players. I mean it . . . um . . . it keeps them off the streets which is an advantage isn't it? It . . . excuse me. Waitress! Could I get another Daiquiri please? Thanks. Where was I? Oh yes, positive effects. It also keeps the players . . . er . . . warm. So they don’t catch a cold. All very important to the modern footballer. Is that the time? I really must be going. Where’s my Daiquiri?”

The players are certainly looking relaxed but they had better be ready as the Lowland Clans will be looking to make amends for their opening day defeat to Casari.


Where Exactly is the Love?
Anna Domingo - Fashion Editor (who had nothing better to do)

Now I may not know much about football but I had a glance at some of the foreign reports and I noticed that a reporter from Casari felt his time was not being given “love” by the majority of the press reports. This got me thinking. Isn’t that the problem with sport? It’s so competitive. Can’t we all just be nice to each other? Can’t we all just get along? Let everybody share the Mug of Harmony. That way everyone can be a winner and everyone can be happy.

Now as I understand it when team meet on sporting occasions it is customary for them to shake hands with the opposition. Now it may be because I know nothing about sport or it may be the vodka running through my veins but when Hypocria plays Casari, instead of the traditional handshake, why not let the players hug?

The Enlightener: 21st September 2005 : your guide to the Banastran rainforest
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y231/bettia/FAB.jpg

SHOCK! HORROR! Bettia Draw Opening Match!

Bettia 2 (Hunter 27, Hutton 42)
Oliverry 2 (Laroche 35, Illois 68)

It's official - Bettia love drawing their opening matches. In their short time on the NS arena, they have drawn all but three of their opening matches against teams of varying calibre. This time around it was Oliverry who were the Aroras' hapless stalemate victims... well, stalemate would be the incorrect word to use, as this game actually turned out to be an entertaining tussle between two attack-minded teams.

Both teams set their stall out early, taking every opportunity to venture into their oppoent's half in an effort to make a quick breakthrough. Almost half an hour passed when Latif Hunter, lining up alongside Chris Hutton in the centre of a four-man attack, broke the deadlock with a low drive from just outside the penalty area.

To their credit, Oliverry weren't phased by this and were soon back on level terms as Yves Laroche headed in from a corner. The irrepressible Chris Hutton ensured Bettia went into the break with their noses in front after snatching the ball from Don Teriaux just inside the Oliverry half, making the short run to goal and sidefooting past a despairing Bellemort.

Oliverry thought they had equalised just four minutes into the second half as Yves Laroche headed in from a corner in a near carbon-copy of his first-half strike. Unfortunately for him, he was penalised for impeding DiTorino in the Bettia goal.

As in the first half, both teams were intent on attack, knowing that a draw would be less than ideal. Bin Majd and Brooks came close for Bettia, whilst the Laroche brothers both had good shots saved by DiTorino.

However, Oliverry levelled the scores with just over twenty minutes remaining. Durocher received a throw from Bellemort and, after escaping the attentions of Ryder, sprinted down the wing and delivered an inch-perfect cross which Turbide Illoisduly buried into the back of the net with a thumping volley.

Not to be outdone, Bettia came storming back into the closing stages and should have made the game safe when they were awarded a questionable penalty after Dubé appeared to handle the ball. Regular penalty-taker Geraint Carew stepped up to take the kick, but his thunderous effort rebounded off the crossbar and Dubé was more than happy to hook the ball away to safety.

Elsewhere in the group, The Archregimancy came away with an ominous 4-1 victory against PopularFreedom - they are obviously revelling in their home advantage. Meanwhile, Hockey Canada crashed to a 1-0 defeat at the hands of Kaze Progressa. These results leave Bettia and Oliverry lying in equal third.

Bettia's next game is against Ruventsoria, who had a day off and no doubt took the opportunity to scout out the Aroras.

Location: Loyalty Bay, PopularFreedom; Headquarters of Loyalty Bay Informer (most popular newspaper in Western PopularFreedom)

Jim Titon: Hey Karl, we covering the Harmony Cup today?

Karl Mann: Why would we? They just announced that the ref in the Ravens match in the Bay Football League got fired after the riot in Great Falls (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=9663949&postcount=12). The Prime Minister is furious about the whole riot thing too. Gonna be interesting to see today's games with the whole front line of the Ravens injured, wonder if they can hold onto first place in the league for much longer.

Jim Titon: Yea but it would be good for Pearson Cliffs, besides Biblia scored again.

Karl Mann: Who?

Jim Titon: Roy Biblia, you know one of the better players in the Pearson Cliffs league.

Karl Mann: Never heard of them, I just watch Bay Football to be honest. The Pearson Cliffs league was never for me.

Jim Titon: Ah you should have seen it, it was a good goal, came at the 90th minute too.

Karl Mann: What was the final score?

Jim Titon: 4-1

Karl Mann: Bah, that is a blowout, who wants to read about that when you can read about the situation with the Ravens, naw we ain't writing about that today. Maybe if they win a game we might write about them.

Jim Titon: Aw come on, tell you what I will write an article next game of theirs and you will be sure to like it, I know it.

Karl walks off and mutters to himself that he should have never hired a Pearson Cliffs journalist for his sports department.

The Nedalians lined up today at the Kafra International Airport, awaiting their flight to catch Bettia and Hypocria in action at the CoH. Apparently, they consider the Nedalian fans consider the Bettians and Hypocrians one of them, claiming to love the Hyypos and Aroras as "much as the Lions!". South AO love right there.

The older man was muttering curses as the TV in the small, peaceful pub in an isolated corner of the capital of the New Montreal States. The TV was playing recaps from the Cup of Harmony, and was showing the dejected Westley Stjepan as they walked from the field after a 2-1 loss to Casari.

"So what are you pissed about friend?" asked the bartender.

The man grunted at the television and chugged another pint.

"Ah, I'm sorry about that. Well, your papers predicted it..."

The man grunted again, and pulled down another pint. All of the sudden, a loud crowd burst through the doors of the pub wearing Milchama colours. The man and the bar groaned as they walked in. They all cried out as they figured out who he is.

"Hey men, look, it's a clanner! What a fu-" The man was stopped midsentence as the man at the bars fist slammed into his nose. He dropped like a sack of the potatoes. Everyone just kinda stopped and looked at him, then at the guy on the floor.

"Come on, you all can't take me you bloody cunts?"

Cries rang out and the bar fight began.

GRAHAM CITY SUN - STARS BEATEN BY MISSED CALL

NEW MONTREAL STATES - The Lowland Clans Stars were robbed of vistory by a missed offside call today, bringing a new level of national humilation as Milchama upset Harlesburg. Westley Stjepan said after the game that the game was a joke. "We know that they are a talented side, but we were robbed. That last goal was clearly offside, by five feet at least!" Manager Gary Johnson echoed his sentiment, and even Andy Ronalo said after the game. "Man, that was sure a suspicious goal."

Riots were sparked across the nation here and in New Montreal States, with cries of war against Milchama ringing throughout the populous. "Quite simply, they piss me off," said one passerby. While serious politicans denounce those war claims, President-Elect John Patrick Kingsley simply shook his head as his response to the game. "I could've done better than that..."

The Lowland Clans - 1
Westley Stjepan (34th)
Casari - 2
Mike Newberry (11th)
Andy Ronalo (89th)

Canucks lose to Kaze Progressa?!?!?!?!

In light of yesterday's events, Hockey Canada would like to just put the loss to Kaze Progressa behind them and look forward to the next game against hosts The Archregimancy. The Hockey Canadians got in from Otnorot International Airport at 03:49 Local time and had trouble navigating to their hotel room. Sure enough, when they got there they slept most of the day. The pre-game meal wasn't any better for the Canucks who were late for the buffet and had to eat cold meats, soups and pastas.

To add insult to injury for the Canucks, they later found out while they were staying at a sleazy two-star hotel, all the other teams in the group were staying in luxury-class 5-star hotels. So setting out on the field that night against Kaze Progressa wasn't something the Hockey Canadians wanted to do so soon. The warmup was a disaster with pandamonium on the field from sleepy players and even a fight between several hungry players and a food vedor.

Opening kickoff saw the Hockey Canadian defence to be horrible; not something you'd often see from a team who plays a 7-2-1 formation. Kaze Progressa came at Kyle Thomas in waves but he remained solid despite lack of food and sleep. The Hockey Canadians offense got something going later on in the game when Rahul Kulkarni made a long pass to a running Mike Ko (who recovered from injury in time to play). Ko broke in on the Kaze Progressa keeper and wired a shot hard and high. Unfortunately for Ko, the shot sailed a little too high nailing the crossbar and out of play.

Kaze Progressa finally got their goal-scoring under way when they started playing hard and fierce around the Hockey Canadian net. In the 18th minute there was a huge scramble off a corner kick in front of keeper Kyle Thomas. Players from both sides bunching up while all organized plays and tactics flew out the window. One lucky player got the ball and managed to kick it somewhere special,but it wasn't a Hockey Canadian player. In the net sat the ball shot from a Kaze Progressian bulging in the corner of the net.

Hockey Canada tried drastically to recover from this early goal but lacked the energy because of their situation. The half closed with the Hockey Canadian defence collapsing leaving keeper Kyle Thomas to make some saves but still had fans and officials reeling after the near two-goal defecit. The whistle blew to fans and players relief as they ran off the field to face an expected yelling at from coach Toe Blake.

The second half didn't get much better for Hockey Canada as Kaze Progressa wouldn't even let the Canuck defence or midfield to organize something to equalize the score. The Kaze Progressians came at the Hockey Canadian defence in waves once more but couldn't beat keeper Kyle Thomas for the extra goal. The rest of the game seemed like this with attack after attack on the Hockey Canadian net but the defence managed to hold off despite their obvious lack of energy.

Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
The Archregimancy 1 1 0 0 4 1 +3 3
Kaze Progressa 1 1 0 0 1 0 +1 3
Bettia 1 0 1 0 2 2 +0 1
Oliverry 1 0 1 0 2 2 +0 1
Hockey Canada 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0
PopularFreedom 1 0 0 1 1 4 -3 0
Ruventsoria 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

Looking at the standings in group 1, hosts The Archregimancy sit atop the group with a win and three goals up. They're expected to give Hockey canada a good game with the canucks well-rested for their next game. Kaze Progressa's win over Hockey Canada was a bit of a shock for some but expect the canucks to rebound. Bettia and Oliverry both have a point each after their draw with each other. Bettia is looking for a few wins and a qualifying spot. PopularFreedom didn't shine in their opener while Ruventsoria will need to use their opening-day rest to their advantage.

Hockey Canada play's The Archregimancy next and they certainly look like a good team heading into their game tonight. They handled PopularFreedom easily but they may struggle against the top-ranked team in the group. The Archregimancy has a good offence that will try to match the Hockey Canadians brick-wall defence. A good match will be in store for fans, especially for Hockey canada who's goal is to finish in the top of their group. A win tonight will rebound Hockey Canada and get them back in running for the cup-expected teams.

Casaran Broadcasting Alliance
"It was an accident, we didn't mean to put porn on at 3:30 pm!"

Casaris's first match against Lowland Clans results in 2-1 Win
Early reporting means that reporter has to do less work

Casari's first match against the Lowland Clans Resulted in a delightful 2-1 win for the Confederation. While some say the teams looked slightly tipsy as it took the field, Team Manager Vivica Hill dismissed the statements. "I would like to clarify that the only drinking that our players have done in the past 24 hours has been non-alcoholic beverages and that all their luggage has been searched. The Casari Soccer Authority demands that our players be in top physical condition for International matches, unlike the Casaran Hockey Federation, which recruits drunks off the street."

The game itself started off with both teams seemingly on an even keel until Mike Newberry broke free in the eleventh minute to score the first goal of the game. From there, Casari unwisely fell back on their defense, however skilled they might be, and allowed the Clans' Westley Stjepan to score the tying goal in the 34th. With the Halftime score 1-1, Casari took the feild for the second half and tried to create pressure, but without much success until a freak bounce off a Clan defender landed at the feet of Andy Ronalo, who put it in for a goal in the 89th.

"It looked like a very suspicious goal. I'll admit that. But the linesmen didn't blow the whistle, and I'm not going to disagree." Star Striker Ronalo said.

Casari in second place behind Milchama
"I didn't know we got ego bonuses!"

One musn't become to infatuated with the standings in the tables after just the first game, but we're the Media and we like to.

Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
Milchama 1 1 0 0 3 2 +1 3
Casari 1 1 0 0 2 1 +1 3
NMS 1 0 1 0 3 3 +0 1
Praying2God 1 0 1 0 3 3 +0 1
Harlesburg 1 0 0 1 2 3 -1 0
Lowland Clans 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
Hypocria 0 0 0 0 0 0 +0 0

An early tie for first is encouraging, especally looking at the less than stellar results by the group powerhouses. This might be an image fo things to come as we wade farther into the series.

Casari is willing to try pre-match hugging
"Well, it IS the Cup of Harmony. Where's the Harmony?"

With a quick glance at each other, the Casaran Soccer officals present shrugged and said they would have no problem with pre match hugs.

"We believe we can still keep the spirit of competition alive while also expressing our feelings in hug form." Nameless official #4 said to reporters today. "There's nothing like a little manly hug to add some class to a competition such as this."

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

THE LOVE


Disturbing reports have been reaching tournament HQ that some of the entrants to the Cup of Harmony haven't been feeling the love.

So on behalf of both ourselves and our co-hosts, we'd both like to give everyone a big hug and cuddle, and say "we love you" in as many different languages as we can think of.

Which we won't list here because the scribes of the Archregimancy were very naughty and previously did a HUGE cut and paste job that led to their having their hands gently (and appropriately) slapped by the happy little fun-loving footballers of Hockey Canada.

But we will give our full support to the NMS love haiku idea

Scores for day 2:

Group 1 (The Archregimancy):


The Archregimancy 0 - 1 Hockey Canada
Oliverry 2 - 2 Kaze Progressa
Bettia 4 - 1 Ruventsoria

Group 2 (New Montreal States):

The Lowland Clans 4 - 1 Hypocria
Casari 1 - 2 Milchama
New Montreal States 1 - 0 Harlesburg

Tables!

Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
Bettia 2 1 1 0 6 3 +3 4
Kaze Progressa 2 1 1 0 3 2 +1 4
The Archregimancy 2 1 0 1 4 2 +2 3
Hockey Canada 2 1 0 1 1 1 +0 3
Oliverry 2 0 2 0 4 4 +0 2
PopularFreedom 1 0 0 1 1 4 -3 0
Ruventsoria 1 0 0 1 1 4 -3 0



Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
Milchama 2 2 0 0 5 3 +2 6
NMS 2 1 1 0 4 3 +1 4
Casari 2 1 0 1 3 3 +0 3
Lowland Clans 2 1 0 1 2 2 +0 3
Praying2God 1 0 1 0 3 3 +0 1
Harlesburg 2 0 0 2 2 4 -2 0
Hypocria 1 0 0 1 1 4 -3 0

New Montreal Presse-Journal Devoir

THIBAULT PLAYS HERO IN 1-0 THRILLER OVER HARLESBURG

Branstone collects first win on the international stage

NEW MONTREAL - The spectacle of mimes playing soccer was seemingly too much for Harlesburg as they fell 1-0 to the Paladins at the Paladin Dome in New Montreal.

Midfielder Alexandre Thibault broke a 0-0 tie midway through the second half with a curving shot behind the Harlesburgian goaltender. A silent celebration ensued on the field, with mimes enacting scenes of great joy. The fans, however, shook the Paladin Dome. Experts estimate that the record for highest decibel level, previously held by a Death Monkey concert, was broken by a solid 5 decibels.

Thibault's goal capped the one brief burst of offensive prowess in a game dominated by a pair of rock solid defenders. With Yannic Filaut and Kirk Roy hanging back for most of the game, the Paladins were essentially running a 3-2-3-2 scheme that blunted multiple Harlesburgian drives. Jose Theodore, after a scare involving an ankle injury against Praying2God, answered any lingering doubts about his health with a glowing 10-save performance for his first career shutout.

Audioslavian import William Branstone pronounced himself satisfied with tonight's defensive effort, but added that the offense needed to step up its performance to contend. He thanked the fans for their support and said that the team owed them a qualification, or at least a victory over Milchama.

TOURNAMENT BRIEFS

Co-hosts The Archregimancy were rebuked by members of mysterious #sport organization for too much "cutting and pasting." Who knew monks liked arts and crafts that much?

Milchama is flying high after a pair of victories over Harlesburg and Casari. The Drunkard Party is planning a protest, although specifics are a little foggy, just like most of its' members were at the morning press conference.

Minster of Morale Sheila St-Anne, in a statement released yesterday, stated that she wanted to extend the love to all participants in the CoH, "within the bounds of reason, good taste, and limits in translating ability."

Chi Sun-Times-Tribune-Star-News-Today

Sports Section

Milchama Wins Again takes first place in group by 2 points

In another stunning the Milchama Warriors again upset a higher seeded this time Casari on their way to a 2-1 victory today. Coach Jonathan Fairbanks said, "Sure some people may have doubted us but I think we are doing well coming into our bye and that bye should only help us against our opponent after the bye, the Lowland Clans." Also for those not feeling the love,
We don't feel the love
Everybody seems to hate
We need more love now
Match Report:
The Warriors came onto to the pitch looking to impress the NMS crowd with another upset. They started early in their upset bid and in just the 5th minute J.J. Faren got the ball from just outside the 18 yard box and he shot and he scored to make it 1-0 Milchama. The lead continued to hold for awhile as the Warriors tried to create more oppurtunities and almost scored in the 23rd minute when Darian Flinters found Floren in the box but his header was saved by their keeper who brought the Casarians on a quick counter attack which led to goal which made the score at half time 1-1 tie.
Second Half:
The Warriors started to threaten after the Casarian goal and almost scored in the 53rd minute. The game then got boring until the 82nd minute which seems to be becoming a lucky minute for the Warriors as sub Matt Bantin got a cross from J.J. Faren which he put in the net to make the score 2-1
Final Score:
Casari 1 (Saienz 25)
Milchama 2 (Faren 5, Bantin 82)

Milchama not feeling the love

The Milchama Warriors are not feeling the love of their group some of whom have called for more harmony in this Cup of Harmony. One fan said, "Sure our predictions are a little lofty but a little confidence never hurt anybody and the military was simply the incompetence of the government. Why does that make teams hate us, I don't know ask them." He then cried because we're not loved.

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

UPDATE HAIKU

Archregimancy
Lose to Hockey C, one - nil.
Our souls do suffer

The only goal was
Scored by goalkeeper Kyle T.
What a freak event!

He kicked it upfield.
Ball caught in a mighty wind.
Our heads hang in shame.

Our defenders are
Now repenting for this sin.
Repent! Repent now!

Suffering is good
For the soul. This we believe.
Losing makes us strong

Still, all teams should feel
The love. Even Milchama.
Honest - monks don't lie.

The Hypocria Herald Presents: Cup of Harmony (and related) News


No Love From The Clansmen
Gary Oldbon in the New Montreal States

Hypocria’s players had been relaxing during the first round of matches and perhaps they were slightly too relaxed as they took on a Lowland Clan side with a point to prove after their disappointing defeat to Casari on the opening day.

Hypocria 1 - 4 Lowland Clans
Shirko(p)

The writing was on the wall almost from the kickoff as the Stars play the ball around with confidence. It was almost as if they had an extra player. They did have an extra player when, after 25 minutes, Hyppos defender Marius Black brought down Gary Park with a lazy challenge when the striker was clear throw on goal. The referee didn’t hesitate in giving the penalty and gave Black another day off when he showed him a red card for the professional foul.

The penalty was converted to give the Lowland Clans a deserved lead. Surprisingly the half ended even as a rare Hypocria excursion into the Stars’ penalty area lead to Burdali falling after a fairly soft tackle. It didn’t look like a spot kick but the referee gave it to allow Andrei Shirko to level the scores. The half ended with the score a rather surprising 1 - 1.

In the second half the Lowland Clans’ numerical advantage showed as they overran the Hyppos and scored 3 goals without reply. The final whistle blew to leave Hypocria still rooted to the bottom of Group 2.

In the other games across the New Montreal States the Milchama Ministry of Modesty probably went into overdrive after their 2 - 1 win over Casari left the Warriors as the only side with a 100% record. Meanwhile Harlesburg’s poor start continued as they lost 1 - 0 to host nation the NMS. The results left the table looking much like this . . .

Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
Milchama 2 2 0 0 5 3 +2 6
NMS 2 1 1 0 4 3 +1 4
Casari 2 1 0 1 3 3 +0 3
Lowland Clans 2 1 0 1 2 2 +0 3
Praying2God 1 0 1 0 3 3 +0 1
Harlesburg 2 0 0 2 2 4 -2 0
Hypocria 1 0 0 1 1 4 -3 0

It doesn’t get any easier for the Hyppos as their next game is against the New Montreal States in the imposing Paladin Dome.

Meanwhile in Group 1 the Canucks of Hockey Canada upset the monks of the Dreamed Realm with a 1 - 0 win of the Archregimency, Kaze Progressa and Oliverry shared 4 goals and Ruventsoria proved that having a day off can be a bad thing as they too lost by a 4 - 1 scoreline, to the Aroras of Bettia. A result that went down well in Hypocria as during the World Cup qualifiers Ruventsoria came to the Hyppodrome and rather rudely took all 3 points and being the good neighbours that we are we just love those Aroras.

Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
Bettia 2 1 1 0 6 3 +3 4
Kaze Progressa 2 1 1 0 3 2 +1 4
The Archregimancy 2 1 0 1 4 2 +2 3
Hockey Canada 2 1 0 1 1 1 +0 3
Oliverry 2 0 2 0 4 4 +0 2
PopularFreedom 1 0 0 1 1 4 -3 0
Ruventsoria 1 0 0 1 1 4 -3 0



Wait A Minute!
Andy Collins - Chief Football Writer

They did have an extra player! And after the sending off they had two extra players! No wonder we lost heavily. See, it’s even on their team sheet.

The Lowland Clans Stars - The ASLC National Team
Manager: Gary Johnson
Formation: 3-4-3
* denotes starters
C denotes Captain
Strikers
12 – Gary Park, Highlangers *
5 – Rich Blythe, Highlanders *
10 – Iason Spyridon, Kolossi Fields *
4 – Quentin Porter, Okehampton Citizen
9 – Leighton Buntain, Liverpool City
Midfielders
13 – Westley Stjepan, Grand Captiva * C
6 – Jozef Gregor, Belgrad West *
18 – Aneiran Aindrea, Island Peaks FC (Vilita)
7 – Nathan McKay, Belgrad West
11 – Duncan Garret, (Spruitland)
Wingers
3 – Keefe Lavrentios, Okehampton Citizen *
2 – Aleksander Kostandin, Glasgow United*
14 – Ray Jerold, Alston Muhens
19 – Henrik Kiril, Milford Wanderers
Central Defenders
23 – Carson Lindsay, Glasgow United *
21 – Hosea Apagios, Leeds Forrest *
33 – Nikias Asklepiades, Limassol United
26 – Dragoslav Yuka, Graham City FC
Wing backs
40 – Vlasis Spiros, Limassol United *
20 – Bojan Vasil, Edinbrough Rovers *
25 – Shae Gareth, Grand Captiva
24 – Omar McMann, Liverpool City
Keepers
0 - Dylan Hughes, Okehampton Citizen *
99 – Darren Elliot, Grand Capitva


Their starting eleven has twelve players. Now the HFA don’t want to sound like whining losers. The Lowland Clans tried their luck and they got away with it. Fair play to them. But surely there are officials who are meant to check whether teams are fielding the correct number of players? Referees, linesmen, fourth officials, et cetera, so on and so forth. Naturally the HFA aren’t going to demand a rematch or anything like that because The Lowland Clans are big, powerful, damn scary and not too far from our northern border. But someone must be held responsible and that someone is surely the referee. Officials from the host nations need to take action against him (and his assistants) and at least slap him about a bit. Alternately they can put him on the first plane to Hypocrium and we’ll do it for them.


There’s the Love
Anna Domingo - Fashion Editor (Who still has nothing better to do)

I’m delighted to see that the plea for love and harmony in the tournament has been taken up by a number of nations. That nice lady in the New Montreal States extended the love to all the participating nations and those even nicer monks in the Archregimency sent out hugs and cuddles and even wrote a haiku. Casari too have embraced (pun intended) the whole hugging notion.

Even from Nedalia, who aren’t even in the tournament, people are arriving in the host nations to cheer on their friends in Hypocria and Bettia. Love is truly in the air, everywhere I look around in fact. It warms the soul doesn’t it? Or that may just be the brandy. Come on guys. Group hug.

Four points from two games for Kaze Progressa so far in the Cup of Harmony, a 1-0 defeat of Hockey Canada followed by an enthralling 2-2 draw with Oliverry.

The last time the Progressans were in this tournament, they were beaten only by hosts Melmond and their voodoo dice. This run may prove to be equally successful if the Progressans keep playing on their current form. The opening match against Hockey Canada proved to be an ominous warning, even though the match was ultimately only decided by a scrappy 18th-minute Nonbi Olog goal after a goalmouth scramble from a corner. The Progressans were consistently denied only by goalkeeper Kyle Thomas in the first half, and totally closed the game down in true Karelan style thereafter.

There was nothing Karelan about their next game, however. That much should have been clear from the ultra-Takilan 2-3-5 formation adopted by Oliverry, and it was definitely clear after two goals in the first eleven minutes. Oliverry opened the scoring in the eighth minute when Jean St-Leon nodded home from a Dany Leroux cross, but Faiwe Jituvek equalised just three minutes later after a one-two pass with Dodia Tiakosuv left Jean-Alan Bellemort totally exposed, the godmod powers he had gained from a visit to a secret lab in the former Belmorian Scandinavia evidently insufficient or non-functional.

Or simply non-functional, judging by his mistake just before half-time. Tiakosuv's free-kick, while powerful, was straight at Bellemort - but he contrived to let the ball slip through his hands into the bottom corner. For that, he was substituted at half-time and replaced by Joey St Laurent, who did a passable imitation of a goalkeeper in the second half.

And his feet were pretty useful, too. On 69 minutes, he took a free kick from ten yards outside his own penalty area after Olog was caught offside. This free kick was propelled almost to the edge of the penalty area, and St-Leon flicked the ball on for Turbide Illois to thump home a volley from 15 yards off the underside of the crossbar, leaving Arista Hetujuk helpless.

The final 20 minutes were a hive of frantic activity but nobody found the killer blow, Illois hitting the top of the crossbar trying to lob Hetujuk from 35 yards and Olog just unable to get a touch to a low cross from Tiakosuv in the first minute of injury time. 2-2 was a fair result.

[Incidentally, This link (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=9352960&postcount=15) remains the current link to my roster, but the players are two years older and Mert Troob is now a first choice in place of Bizjiv Ezkinsaay. The instructions to other RPers remain identical, too.]

The Enlightener: 22nd September 2005 : what solar panel should you buy?
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y231/bettia/FAB.jpg

Lions Downed by Big Game Hunter

Bettia 4 (Carew 3 pen, Hunter 47 89, Bin Majd 65)
Ruventsoria 1 (Aloi 82)

Ever since Bettia's young star exploded onto the footballing scene, sports writers across the nation have been itching to write THAT headline. Finally, finally, our prayers have been answered!

The Aroras came into this match buoyed by the news that Bettia have been selected to co-host the next Baptism of Fire. They faced a Lions team eager to make a name for themselves after sitting out the first matchday. Of course, not all Lions fans were cheering for Ruventsoria - a large contingent of Nedalians had made a more than slight detour home en route from the World Cup finals to lend their support to Bettia and Hypocria.

Bettia made the best possible start when the lively Chris Hutton was upended in the box by Machida Kumiko. Regular penalty-taker Geraint Carew atoned for his miss in the opening game, making no mistake as he planted the ball into the top corner.

Stunned by this early setback, Ruventsoria quickly spurred themselves into the game. They soon took control of the centre of the park, their four midfielders outnumbering Bettia's two. This resulted in the Aroras relying more on the long ball to bypass the Lions midfield, a ploy that worked to some effect.

A long ball from Musa Williams found Hutton in space, from where he ominously bore down on goal. A deft lob from his left boot saw the ball sailing over the keeper's head, but also inches over the crossbar.

Just as they stung the Lions at the beginning of the first half, so they did the same in the second. Lewis Bin-Majd, revelling in his role on the right of the front line, jinked his way down the wing to the goal line. He then cut the ball back to Hunter, lurking around the penalty spot, who duly converted the cross with great aplomb.

Bettia slowly took control of the game, their enterprising wing play proving a real thorn in the Lions' sides, and Latif Hunter having a number of good opportunities only to be denied by some exquisite goalkeeping from Kigoma. The Aroras' third came on 65 minutes, as Lewis Bin Majd powered home a header to claim his first ever goal in the green-and-gold.

Ruventsoria gave themselves a glimmer of hope as Victoria Aloi pulled a goal back for them eight minutes from time, but Latif Hunter got the second goal he deserved, powering home a 25-yard shot in injury time.

Results elsewhere saw Hockey Canada bounce back from their opening day defeat by beating the hosts 1-0, whilst Oliverry claimed their second draw against Kaze Progressa. These results leave Bettia sitting on top of the group table on goal difference, going into their crunch match against Hockey Canada.

Casari Broadcasting Alliance
We really try to make our stupid quites funny, honest."

Shock Loss to Milchama Drops Casari to Third
Massive accusations of match rigging and favoritism come from Casaran fans

Casari 1 (Saienz 25)
Milchama 2 (Faren 5, Bantin 82)

Casari's upset loss to Milchama reverberated throughout the entire Confederation today, where instead of rioting as is tradition after the loss, most Casarans just sat and quietly nursed their drinks in their local favorite establishments.

"Clearly noone had any idea what was going on." was a common fan sentiment as the Casarans quietly prepared themselves for their next game.

Opinions were much more heated in the locker room after the game, where Manager Vivica Hill barged in, spent her time swearing at the team, and ended up dismissing Coah Tim Bridges for the rest of the tournement, saying that the loss was "Inexcuseable." After the team was put through breathalizer tests, they were bussed back to the locak training facility where GM/New Coack Vivica Hill promptly chewed them out more and made them practice late into the night. It is a growing concern that the team will lack to stamina to perform against tomorrow's opponents, Playing2God, but Coach Hill dismissed the claims. "Tomorrow's game is just what we need to right the ship. We lost, and I'm rather pissed about it, but more important is not to let ourselves slide any farther.

In a game where Star Striker Ronalo was taken off in the 30th minute, the Casaran Offense floundered, unable to create oppertunities in the attacking zone while jockeying with the defense. The only Casaran goal was a Saienz header in the 25th minute, but other than that the day was not one to remember for the offense.

Ronalo is expected to start tomorrow.

Starters announced for Praying2God match
No Shocks Today

G- 34 Rooney
D- 10 MacLellan
D- 11 Oliver
D- 18 Letra
D- 57 Novena
M- 26 Archer
M- 4 Eskan
M- 7 Granger
F- 3 Saienz
F- 44 Ronalo
F- 9 Newberry

Poll finds that Casarans 67-31% in favor of love
Poll results higher than expected

A public poll today showed that by a 2-1 margin most Casarans are in favor of love. "We're just cool like that." One fan said after taking the poll. The results were suprising to many people, considering the outright hatred expressed by many Casarans for other teams and their fans, to the extent that Tyrellian National Stadium had to have the 17th Infantry Regiment ring the opposing fans for their protection.

When the poll results were brought to GMC Hill, she rolled her eyes and walked away. "We'll hug when we win." She said before resuming her yelling at the players.

Hyppos Lose a Coach


It’s unsurprising, giving the often fickle nature of the HFA and Hypocria’s current position in Group 2 that the national side have undergone a little reshuffle of their management stuff. What is surprising is that, whereas normally such a change would be bad news for the coach who leaves, in this case it was good news, very good news in fact. Gregory Vidal has not been sacked by Hypocria’s trigger happy football association. He has instead swapped a Cup of Harmony group game for the World Cup Final itself.

The news first came public in a Sarzonia news article which included an interview with their national coach Dave Wilson. In it Wilson, who steps down as Sarzonia coach after the World Cup to take over as Hypocria’s new national coach, confirmed that he wanted Vidal to stay on with the national side as his assistant. He also invited Hypocria’s co-caretaker coach to sit alongside him in the dugout during the World Cup Final in Krytenia, in which Sarzonia take on Liverpool England. Vidal’s departure from the Cup of Harmony team camp has since been confirmed by the HFA.

But where exactly does that leave the players and now sole care-taker coach Michael de Winter, who has found out that his employment with the national side ends after the Cup of Harmony.

“We both knew that only one of us would be staying on with the new coach and the other would be leaving, It just so happens that Greg is the one that stays and I’m the one that’s going. But I‘m delighted for Greg. I mean how often does the chance to be in the dugout for a World Cup Final come around?”, de Winter told reporters.

When asked about the rest of the Cup of Harmony the coach was surprisingly upbeat,

“Myself and the players still have a job to do here. They are playing to impress a new manager and as this is my last tournament with the national team I’d like to end it on a high. Besides, with Greg and Trautwig out of the way I can take all the credit.”

The question is will this upheaval damage the Hyppos chances of a good run in the competition or will it be the catalyst that kick starts their tournament? With a tough, tough match against host nation the New Montreal States fast approaching we’re bound to find out sooner rather than later.

LOVE haiku contest!

That's right! Win a valuable RP bonus (which I'm not going to number, since I'm still not sure what would be a fair prize).

We'd like to apologize for the delay in posting the contest, as there was some confusion as to whether or not this would fly with the World Cup powers that be.

Contest Rules and Regulations

- Haiku must be in standard 5-7-5 syllable format, all others will be disqualified.
- New Montreal States will act as judge. He won't submit a haiku for obvious reasons. His judgment is final, but if you disagree, telegram him with a polite statement about why he was wrong, and he might change his mind.
- All haiku must be submitted by the end of matchday 4. I'll pick the winner then, and the bonus will be factored in for the remaining games. The bonus will carry over into the playoffs, if that team makes it.
- Oh yeah, keep it PG. This is about love, not lovemaking.

Good luck to one and all. May the best poet win!

Hockey Canada wins on goal by... Thomas???

Hockey Canada managed to squeak a win away from The Archregimancy just a few hours ago but didn't seem to win it in normal fashion. So a few haikus have been made in light of the contest.

First half opens up
Canuck defence remains strong
keep up the shutout.

Fourteenth minute now
Perrault can stop the attack
heart of the defence.

Twenty-first minute
Kulkarni gets a shot off.
It hits the crossbar.

Thomas grabs the ball,
a mighty kick is sent up.
Catches win when high.

Soaring in the sky,
the ball plummets to the earth.
And into the net.

History is made
shot was recorded to be
eighty-two yards long.

Archregimancy,
very good team nonetheless
a threat to the cup.

Final whistle blows
cheers erupt throughout the crowd
three points for Canucks.

So the game ended with Thomas scoring the longest goal in Hockey Canadian history and quite possibly Cup of Harmony history. Uncommon to see Thomas with the goal, the Hockey Canadians now have three points only one point behind first place. With the Canucks now up against Bettia, it will come down right to the wire in this game.

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

A CUP OF HARMONY LOVE HAIKU

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

How appropriate that the spirit of the Cup of Harmony should be celebrated with a love haiku competition. Too often the cultural element of international sporting tournaments is ignored, and this gives us all an opportunity to further celebrate the harmonious spirit of the current competition.

Nations of the Dreamed Realm have a long tradition of success in international poetry competition, with the Holy and Puissant Empire of Alasdair I Frosticus once emerging victorious in the People Republic of Love Poetry's poetry competition (OOC: waaaaay back in the pre-jolt days).

While the monks in the Dreamed Realm may be celibate, they still understand the concept of love, so we've appointed Fr. Nicholas the Scribe to give this a stab. Given that English and Old Church Liturgic haiku lack the ambiguous subtleties of haiku in the original Nihon-go, Fr. Nicholas has tried to use punctuation to imperfectly imitate that subtlety

Two unite as one
As buds blossom in the spring.
A new beginning?

It is Fr. Nicholas' hope that the above effort can be read either as a celebration of love between humans, or as a celebration of the very different love at the heart of the mystic union of man with God.

New Montreal States
Kind of screwed up with this post.
Same as one below!

Archregimancy
Brings you matchday three scores now.
Can you feel the love?

Group 1 (Archregimancy)

The Archregimancy 1 - 0 Ruventsoria
Hockey Canada 2 - 1 Bettia
Oliverry 3 - 2 PopularFreedom


Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
The Archregimancy 3 2 0 1 5 2 +3 6
Hockey Canada 3 2 0 1 3 2 +1 6
Oliverry 3 1 2 0 7 6 +1 5
Bettia 3 1 1 1 7 5 +2 4
Kaze Progressa 2 1 1 0 3 2 +1 4
PopularFreedom 2 0 0 2 3 7 -4 0
Ruventsoria 2 0 0 2 1 5 -4 0


Group 2 (NMS)

Harlesburg 1 - 3 The Lowland Clans
Casari 3 - 3 Praying2God
New Montreal States 2 - 1 Hypocria

Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
NMS 3 2 1 0 6 4 +2 7
Milchama 2 2 0 0 5 3 +2 6
Lowland Clans 3 2 0 1 5 3 +2 6
Casari 3 1 1 1 6 6 +0 4
Praying2God 2 0 2 0 6 6 +0 2
Harlesburg 3 0 0 3 3 7 -4 0
Hypocria 2 0 0 2 2 6 -4 0

DEFENSE STRUGGLES AGAIN AS WARRIORS RALLY FOR ANOTHER SURPRISE DRAW

The Praying2God Warriors pulled off another stunning comeback for a draw against Casari 3-3. The Warriors were playing from behind almost all match, and never led. The defense continued to have problems early in the match as they allowed three goals in the first 35 minutes of the match, and trailed 1-3 at that point. The Warriors goal in that stretch was scored by midfielder Ashley Gore on a pretty pass from Thomas Larson in the 19th minute. Engaged midfielders Christa Nelson and Kevin Faith connected for the Warriors second goal in the 49th minute, with Nelson getting the goal on a shot that bounced in off the left post. The Warriors squared the match in the 81st minute when Thomas Larson (who else?) converted a rebound on a Kelly Carter shot. Head Coach Paul Johnson said after the match "Our defense has to come to play in the opening minutes too, not just after we get down a couple of goals. We'll talk about how we can fix that before our next match against Harlesburg." The Harlesburg match is a huge one for residents of Praying2God as the two sides try to develop a multiple-sport rivalry, as it was a defending WC of Basketball champion Harlesburg that the Warriors beat in the semifinals on their way to the championship. Harlesburg has been struggling in the CoH so far, so there is a decent possibility that the Warriors might be able to win that match, especially if they can solve their defensive problems.

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

CUP OF HARMONY TONIGHT

With Fr. Nicholas the Scribe and Fr. John the Golden-Throated


"Well, Fr. John, I think we can say that the Cup of Harmony is well underway now - and with quite a few surprises..."

"Absolutely, Fr. Nicholas. The sudden rise to prominence of haiku as the preferred poetic form of tournament participants amply demonstrates the surprising extent to which we're all feeling the love. Clearly this post-modern expropriation of a Japanese literary device shows how cross-cultural fertilisation can subvert a conceptual social membrane itself reified by self-interested social groups through the appropriation of shift-prone nationalist symbology"

"Erm, no. I meant surprises on the field of play"

"Oh, that. Yes, well, there have been some surprises there too. Harlesburg continue to struggle, Hypocria are still hungry, hungry Hyppos, Praying2God are giving us high-scoring goal sprees while proving themselves unable to win or lose, and Milchama - who hopefully feel that they too now share the love - are turning heads with their unexpected success. Hockey Canada are just about the only team doing more or less as expected."

"And what about us, Fr. John? What about the Archregimancy?"

"Well, last night the lions, that is Ruventsoria, were tamed in our den. No need for divine intervention to mirror the story of Daniel. The problem was, our lads were equally as tame for the majority of the game. It was a non-stop snooze-fest. I think our brave footballing monks were so embarrassed by how they lost to Hockey Canada in the previous match, so afraid to make another mistake as catastrophic as allowing the opposing goalkeeper to score on an upfield punt, that they drew their horns in - entirely non-demonic and purely symbolic horns, I should add - and sat in their own half for much of the game. And so did Ruventsoria. Which made for one of the dullest games of football I'd have ever seen if I hadn't dozed off 20 minutes into the first half."

"So that's why the commentary stopped during the coverage last night"

"Yes. Sorry about that. Anyway, let's look at the one highlight of an otherwise tedious match.... In the 75th minute Fr. Pavel the Wanderer decides to go on one of his trademark mazy runs down the right. He wins the corner. Fr. Michael the Lesser sends it in, and - and by now this must seem a familiar tactic to all Archregimancy supporters - he finds the head of Fr. Michael the Greater, who rises above the opposing goalkeeper, and finds the net. Yes, it's nice to win, but other than that, one big YAWN fest."

"Which is a pity. Still, even if that game wasn't up to much, the tournament as a whole is proving to be a success"

"Absolutely, Fr. Nicholas. This use of a bye game in each round makes it very difficult to predict where teams stand. I think the picture will only become clear after the fifth game. Until then, it's anyone's tournament."

"And with our lads facing a day off for private prayer and reflection, it's anyone's guess as to how the table will look tomorrow..."

The Archregimancy 1
Fr. Michael the Greater (78)

Ruventsoria 0

Doomed at the Dome


We wondered if the reshuffle of Hypocria’s coaching staff would have a positive impact in the Hyppos’ fortunes and at the Paladin Dome we got our answer, a big fat NO.

Hypocria 1 - 2 New Montreal States
Burdali

But lets have a look at the positives. We didn’t concede four goals this time. That’s about it as far as positives go. It was a relatively even match with a Paladin goal in each half settling it. Midfielder Bora Burdali did bring the Hyppos back into the game with fifteen minutes left when he picked up Liberda’s pass, cut inside onto his right foot and hit a shot across Theodore and into the back of the net to make it 2 - 1. But that was as good as it got as Hypocria lost the second game in succession to stay at the foot of Group 2.

In the other group games the Lowland Clans continued their recovery from a surprise opening day defeat to Casari by beating struggling Harlesburg 3 - 1 and Casari and Praying2God shared the spoils, and six goals, in an entertaining draw. Which leaves the table looking thus . . .

Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
NMS 3 2 1 0 6 4 +2 7
Milchama 2 2 0 0 5 3 +2 6
Lowland Clans 3 2 0 1 5 3 +2 6
Casari 3 1 1 1 6 6 +0 4
Praying2God 2 0 2 0 6 6 +0 2
Harlesburg 3 0 0 3 3 7 -4 0
Hypocria 2 0 0 2 2 6 -4 0
Over in the Dreamed Realm the Archregimency top the group after a 1 - 0 win over Ruventsoria, Oliverry edged PopularFreedom 3 - 2 and Hockey Canada again proved the be Bettia’s bogey team as the Canucks ran out 2 - 1 winners over the Aroras.

Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
The Archregimancy 3 2 0 1 5 2 +3 6
Hockey Canada 3 2 0 1 3 2 +1 6
Oliverry 3 1 2 0 7 6 +1 5
Bettia 3 1 1 1 7 5 +2 4
Kaze Progressa 2 1 1 0 3 2 +1 4
PopularFreedom 2 0 0 2 3 7 -4 0
Ruventsoria 2 0 0 2 1 5 -4 0
After two defeats it is make or break time for Hypocria’s players. Caretaker coach Michael de Winter is set to make changes to his side for the crunch game against Casari. One certain change is in central defence where Marius Black returns after his red card against the Lowland Clans and will replace Adam Cornell. Midfielders Sinclair and Petras also look likely to be replaced with Powell and Remy coming in for them.


Fresh from the Cultural Department

Our run has been poor.
With defeat after defeat.
Why? Is the question.

Blame the referee.
It is a common notion.
But true all the same.

Casari up next.
A Hyppo win is a must.
So cross those fingers.

Aroras line up
Ready for the big crunch match
With commie Canucks

Two kids TV types
Creep up behind our players
And they yell "BOGIIIIES!"

Those two are correct
Canucks are our bogey team
They always beat us

They play Karelan
With a strong flat back seven
We try hard to score

Fifteen minutes in
Hockey Canada's set piece
Special kid jumps up

Timmah heads it in
Yells "Rowr libelow TIMMAH!"
He is very pleased

Bettia fight back
Hutton shoots from twenty yards
But it goes over

Tiddles gets annoyed
Bites the linesman on the butt
Ooh! That must've hurt!

He sees funny side
Maybe he likes aroras,
Likes one for a pet

Bettia then score
Right on the stroke of half time
John Connick is fouled

Just outside the box
Evan Brooks curls the free kick
Ball in top corner

Hooray! Fans go wild!
Bettians jump up and down
Flags wave everywhere

One-one at half time
Players go to changing room
For tea and a prayer

At half time the fans
Are extremely priviliged
To hear monks chanting

It's all in Latin
We don't speak any of that
But it still sounds nice

Second half begins
Bettia go on attack
Hoof long ball forward

Hunter gets the ball
He has sprung the offside trap
Runs to goal and shoots

GOAL! Or so he thinks
The linesman has his flag up
Offside after all

How dissappointing
Bettian heads start to drop
And Canucks come back

Tyvlov gets the ball
Passes it to team mate Ko
Mike Ko shoots and scores

Arse, we lost the match
Aroras are now fourth place
In Group number One.

It's Kaze Progressa
Who are next team up for us
Can we bounce right back?

Elsewhere in Group Two
Hypocria have no boss
Two lost in a year

Canucks really are
Our bogey team. 'Snot funny
Will we win next time?

CBA
I don't have the time to type the whole thing out

Disaster continues for Casari
Overturned cars start to become common in nation's cities

Casari's lack of any and all foreward progress continued today with a tie to Praying2God.

"There are no good ties. There are no entertaining ties. Ties are a blight on the world of soccer." GM/C Hill Said to waiting press. "The blatantly hideous problems with are team that were more than evident in our last game are still here. Our Defense, which until now actually could stop people, couldn't even stop a dead dog the last 2 games."

The incredable scoring spree, featuring goals from Ronalo, the rookie Eskan, and Archer, propelled Casari to a 3-1 lead.

A lead, which tanks to the defense, we did not hold.

GM/C's next reported target is the defense, which has provided a rather dismal showing in the tournement so far. The lineup for the next game is expected to change slightly, with 21 Noda taking the place of 10 MacLellan, and 68 nelson taking the place of 18 Letra.

Haiku seems to be poetry form of choice
Sonnet and Limerick camps see development as step back for football poetry

The popularity of the Haiku in the Cup of Harmony this year is something rather unexpected with the cup only about mindless competition just a few days before. Even vulgar crowd chants have taken the form of Haikus recently, prompting the question: What about the other forms of poetry?

"The Haiku gets the attention because it's easy. Real poetry is a challenge, and the ignoring of the sonnet is a direct result of that." A member of the Casaran Poetry socieity said.

Noone from the Drunk Limerick Writers Association was available for comment.

Contempt shown for World Cup Dictators
Casari Wholehartedly takes part in poetry competition

Watching group rivals
Get pummeled into the ground
A warm fuzzy feeling

Other News:

Casari not good at poetry!
Citizens prefer music and sleep

Construction of New stadium for Tyrellia City Begins
Former Stadium to become National Ground

Beer floats
Which is the best? We perform a taste test to bring you the answer

Oliverry wins against PopularFreedom...

And takes the 3rd place in Group B. The game really started at the 36th minute. Oliverrian players were tired after being up for all the religious ceremony(OOC: I'm not insulting you The Archregimancy) so Roy Biblia placed the ball in the goal and put the score 1-0 for PopularFreedom. At the midtime break, the Oliverrian coach, Jacques Leroy shook his players a bit and, in the second half, the team was playing perfectly. "Le 5 francais", the denomination of the forward line, took the reins of the game with 3 goals in 20 minutes. 2 were scored by Yves Laroche and one by Turbide Illois. This team was playing so perfectly that play-by-plays described them as a repetition of the team that won Cherry Cup 9: a very incredible team. Cameron Post scored at the 88th minute, but it was way too late and Oliverry won their first game in International Soccer since their win against Squornshelous. The star of the match was, without any doubt, Yves Laroche. After the game, he declared: "It was my best game of my life. I'd like to thank my teammate to help me do this."

Oliverry's next game will be against Ruventsoria, a team that needs to win to continue in this tournament...

Predicted score: 3-1 Oliverry

New Montreal Presse-Journal Devoir

DOME, ROY TOO MUCH FOR HYPPOS

Midfielder picks up 2 in win over Hypocria

NEW MONTREAL - Home field advantage is being good to the Paladins. For the Hyppos, not so much.

Hypocria came in
Kirk Roy scores two for key win
Paladins are glad

And haiku seems to be popping up all over the place. A Milchaman tourist hailing a taxi in Laval yesterday was heard to say:

The red leaf now falls
Football fans harken to Hull
Airport, step on it!

Likewise, at a coffee stand in Dorval airport:

As fall grows colder
Caffeine becomes necessary
Cafe Latte please.

Loving is also on the rise, with truly embarassing amounts of PDA being seen on NMS streets. One cannot watch random passerbys frolic in the forest nowadays with being interrupted by some couple eating face. It's enough to make me want to buy a taser. But enough said.

Yeah...football. Roy on the opener, taking it down the field after intercepting a Hypocrian pass deep in his third. Pass to Blanker, passes back to Roy who shoots it past a befuddled keeper waiting for an offsides call that never came. PSN footage from 5 angles showed that Roy was, in fact, a split-step behind the defender, but not as seen from the net. Odd.

That was it for the first half, with the Paladins playing lockdown defense and the Hyppos replying in kind. The second half began in much the same way, until Thibault got loose on a breakaway, took it off the crossbar and Roy headed it in. 2-0, NMS.

Hypocria really picked it up at that point, keeping the ball in the Paladins' third from that point onwards. Burdali scored to cap off the drive, and Hypocria had some wind in their sails, but Jose Theodore stepped up his performance in goal and the Paladins kept the lead 'till the final whistle.

Win? You Bettia We did!

Hockey Canada
rising high in the standings
lets beat 'em Canucks!

OOC: sincere apologies for the slight day in posting matchday 4 scores. With your hosts living in Australia and the USA in real life, coordinating times on weekends when we're both able to be on-line at similar times isn't always easy. There might be a similar delay with matchday 5, but things should return to normal after the weekend. NMS will post matchday 4 as soon as possible.

Manager Gary Johnson sipped his beer in the pub were a Clan fan had fought the Milchamans. After the last couple of days, the pub was cleaned up and the owner, a genial old Montrealer who rather disdained the Milchamans also.

"So Mr. Johnson, I take it you're rather pleased with the last couple of results your team has had?"

He chuckled, "You could say that. The lads have really come back after that. We really needed it not just with the loss to Casari on that blown call, but after ASFA blew our hosting bid for the World Cup. Our nation was in mourning over that screw up."

"Yes, that was pretty horrible. You excited about your match against Milchama?"

"Oh you bet your life savings we are, and when we clobber them, I'll bring the team here to celebrate. You might wanna empty the place first, but it will be glorious."

"You know they've been complaining about the lack of love your nation show's 'em..."

Johnson waved his hand dismissively. "Screw them and their arrogant asses. We've had to play 'em twice, and that was bad enough, but we'll take 'em, no problem."

GRAHAM CITY SUN
STARS TAKE REVENGE ON HYPOCRIA AND HARLESBURG

NEW MONTREAL STATES - The Clan contingent here is in rejoicing after the 4-1 victory over Hypocria and 3-1 victory over Harlesburg. In the dressing room after the Harlesburg game, captain Westley Stjepan said "It's been a long time coming."

In Hypocria, Stjepan scored a hat trick in the second half, adding to Gary Park's penalty goal in the first half. The first goal came on a beautiful pass by Keefe Lavrentios into a crowd, were Stjepan rose above two other Hypocria defenders to head it past an unprepared keeper. The second was a free kick about ten yards outside the eighteen, with Stjepan's cannon foot sending it soaring around the keepers outstretched hands. The last goal, coming in the last ten minutes of the game, blunted a possible momentum shift after a gaffe by Dylan Hughes that almost led to a Hypocrian goal. A corner by Nathan McKay went off the inside post only, to be place right onto the waiting foot of Stjepan and in past the stunned keeper.

Against Harlesburg, the match was about the same story. Harlesburg opened the scoring with a great skill play, driving past Carson Lindsay and Bojan Vasil to put it over the diving Darren Elliot. But the Stars responded with three quick qoals, the first coming just scant minutes after the Harlesburg goal. Leighton Buntain was left wide open and his shot graced the top corner of the goal over the lunging Harlesgurian keeper. The next goal came five minutes later, when Aleksander Konstandin blasted a shot the deflected of a Harlesburgian defender and into a wide open far side. The final goal came just before the half, with Rich Blythe makinga run past the defenders and chiping it over the keeper's head and into the goal.

THE LOWLAND CLANS 4 - 1 HYPOCRIA
Park (13th)
Stjepan (56th, 61st, 79th)

THE LOWLAND CLANS 3 - 1 HARLESBURG
Buntain (5th)
Konstandin (10th)
Blythe (43rd)

ERROR IN CLAN LINEUP SHEET SPOTTED, FIXED

GRAHAM CITY - ASFA suffered another embarrrasment today as Hypocrian officials spotted an error in the official line-up card distributed by the football association. All games were played with eleven players, with Hosea Apagios sitting on the bench. ASFA is currently being directed by Acting Director George Blathall, while the replacements for nearly all ASFA positions are being filled

CLAN ENTIRES INTO THE HAIKU CONTEST

LONDON - ASFA Headquarters were swarmed today with Haiku's for the official contest, judged by New Montreal States. The entires decided on by ASFA officials are listed here.

Milchama is scum
We really hate Milchama
Scum beneath our feet

Stjepan's hat trick
Restored our faith in the Stars
We will win the cup

Harles only one
Our defense is rock solid
Hyppos only one

We love lots of beer
There should be beer for all peeps
Then we will have love

ERROR IN TABLES SPOTTED

LONDON - ASFA officals have launched an official inquiry into the status of the Lowland Clans goals for and against in the official table. In the Matchday 3 table, the third matchday's results were not included in the goals. "We're not bitter or anything, just making sure they're not just screwing with us."

HFA Headquarters in Hypocrium
Two members of the association are deep in conversation.


“Any word in the latest results from the Cup of Harmony?”

“No apparently there’s been some delay for the latest round of matches. Probably some religious holiday.”

“Well you know what they say. All good things come to those who wait.”

“Not true. I waited half an hour for my lasagne in the canteen yesterday and when I got it, it was bloody cold.”

“You’re always so negative.”

“Screw you!”

“How poetic, maybe you should write the next haiku.”

“Don’t get me started on them. Poetry? They don’t even rhythm.”

“What about the whole extra player affair in the first match.”

“Officials from the Lowland Clans have confirmed it was an error on the team sheet but they never had an extra player on the pitch.”

“An error?”

“You know, a mistake. Like when they found you in your car with that hooker.”

“She was not a hooker, she was a hitchhiker.”

“Then why were you paying her?”

“She needed money for a sandwich.”

“Then why was she naked?”

“The air con was on the fritz, it was really warm in there.”

“Then why was she . . .”

“Yes ok, stop now. So they didn’t have an extra player?”

“Nope.”

“Then how come they won 4 - 1?”

“Now I’m going out on a limb here but maybe, just maybe, it’s because we’re shite”

“Always so negative.”

Location: Loyalty Bay, PopularFreedom (at the offices of the Loyalty Bay Informer newspaper)

Jim Titon: Wow you see that game Karl?

Karl Mann: What game?

Jim Titon: The Harbour Sharks game, they almost had it. Biblia scored in the 1st half...

Karl Mann: The Harbour what?

Jim Titon: The Sharks man!

Karl Mann: You mean the North Beach Sharks, from Loyalty Bay?

Jim Titon: No man, the Harbour Sharks, from Pearson Cliffs, you know the city furthest north in the nation.

Karl just looks at Jim with a blank look.

Jim Titon: Anyhow you missed it it was awesome, Cameron Post scored a goal in the 88th minute and scared that Oliverry team.

Karl still looks at Jim with a blank look before speaking.

Karl Mann: Look, unless the Hartford Sharks...

Jim Titon: Harbour!

Karl Mann: Whatever, unless these Sharks win a game I don't care, just focus on the Bay Football League (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/PopularFreedom_Bay_Football_League) will ya. The Ravens are freefalling and I don't see it stopping anytime soon.

Jim Titon: But Biblia scored again...

Karl Mann: Oh fine, write an article about him I guess if he scores another goal.

Jim Titon: You got it Karl, trust me he'll score again and the article will be awesome.

Fall is a busy time
Hosts at opposite ends of the world
Slight mix-up took place

Group 1 (Archregimancy)

Hockey Canada 4 - 3 PopularFreedom
Bettia 0 - 0 Kaze Progressa
Ruventsoria 0 - 0 Oliverry

Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
Hockey Canada 4 3 0 1 7 5 +2 9
The Archregimancy 3 2 0 1 5 2 +3 6
Oliverry 4 1 3 0 7 6 +1 6
Bettia 4 1 2 1 7 5 +2 5
Kaze Progressa 3 1 2 0 3 2 +1 5
Ruventsoria 3 0 1 2 1 5 -4 1
PopularFreedom 3 0 0 3 6 11 -5 0


Group 2 (NMS)

The Lowland Clans 2 - 4 Milchama
Hypocria 1 - 1 Casari
Harlesburg 3 - 0 Praying2God

Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
Milchama 3 3 0 0 9 5 +4 9
NMS 3 2 1 0 6 4 +2 7
Lowland Clans 4 2 0 2 7 7 +0 6
Casari 4 1 2 1 7 7 +0 5
Harlesburg 4 1 0 3 6 7 -1 3
Praying2God 3 0 2 1 6 9 -3 2
Hypocria 3 0 1 2 3 7 -4 1


Here, friend, are the tables
Good for some, and bad for others
All will romp in WC25

Alexandria Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Journal-Enquirer

Sports Section

In rough game Milchama beats The Lowland Clans

In one of the worst played matches of soccer many Milchamians have ever seen the Milchama Warriors with 9 men managed to outscore the Lowland Clans with 8 men 4-2. Captain Billy Timmons summed up the game best, "It was who could punch who the most without getting caught. Luckily we got caught less." Coach Jonathan Fairbanks said, "It was an awful game but a win is a win no matter what. Nobody will remember what happened only the result."
Match Report:
The game started off bad and only got worse as in the 3rd minute the ref was forced to hand out two yellow cards to Mills Thompson and Jozef Gregor after they got into a fight. It only got worse from there as in the 8th minute the ref again had to open his book to card Marc J. Floren with a yellow after he kicked Carson Lindsay in the back of the shin. Then in the 11th minute Wesley Stepjan had to step in to stop Kendric Pevington and Rick Blythe coming to blows. Soon whatever soccer was supposed to be played wasn't as both teams just started causing reckless fouls. It looked like the refs lost control of the game as in the 20th minute Silas Milckey made a horribly reckless tackle with no intention of the ball on Gary Park. The refs had seen enough and gave the first red card of the game to him. The Stars though could not hold their one man advantage for long as Hosea Apagios got red carded for pushing down Floren in the box. This also led to a penalty which J.J. Faren converted to beautifully to make it 1-0 Milchama. Soon after Milchama got the advantage as a nasty tackle by Gregor got him his second yellow and a red card. The Warriors could also not hold their advantage long as Tuck Feders came out of nowhere and punched Carson Lindsay in the face. Lindsay was a little bloody but ok and Feders was shown red. This cheap shot seemed to spur the Clans as they scored their first goal in the 44th minute when Gary Park got a thru pass and scored. The score at halftime was 1-1 with the game being played by 9 on 9.
Second Half Report:
The game seemed to settle as both teams realized that a draw would not help them much. In the 50th minute though things began to heat up again as Billy Timmons put a rough tackle on Wesley Stepjan. He wasn't carded but Stepjan after he got into a big fight with the ref. He then seemed to take another gear going right by the entire Milchama defense scoring easily to make it 2-1 to the Lowland Clans. That would be the high point for the Stars though as right after their goal Iason Spyridon spiked Dunston Copperlee in the face earning him red and the one man advantage for the Warrirors. They started to use this to their advantage right away as Darian Flinters used the extra space to scoot around defender before finding J.J. Faren who then used extra time to get the perfect cross in to Marc J. Floren to tie the game up at 2 in the 63rd minute. This was only the tip of the iceberg though as Dunston Copperlee used his skill to get past the defenders and run around the keeper to score in the 70th minute. After this goal the Stars started to play much more defensively. Their counter attacks though were devastating as Blythe almost scored in the 78th but was denied by a great save by Tuck Koolerc. The ensuing corner also almost netted a goal but Mills Thompson cleared the ball off the line. His clearance then put a race between Darian Flinters and Carsons Lindsay for the ball. Lindsay won the race but his ensuing pass was right to Johnny Rintell who shot from 38 yards and scored. He got knocked down from behind but the ref did not see it.
Final Score:
Lowland Clans 2 (Park 44, Stepjan 57)
Milchama 4 (Faren 24 pen, Floren 63, Copperlee 70, Rintell 80)

A bore-draw with Bettia, not a team noted for theiir defensive tendencies, left the Progressans fifth of seven in Grouip A - though with a game in hand on three of their rivals, Bettia included.

The first half was a defensive masterclass with crunching but fair tackles and excellent positional play. Unfortunately, if you aren't Karelan or a defensive coach (or both) this hardly makes for entertainment. Hunter looked set to open the scoring early in the second half for Bettia, but hit the outside of the near post from eight yards. At the other end, Nonbi Olog hit the bar in stoppage time, but the intervening period felt more like 45 hours than 45 minutes for fans of attacking football. Still, positives for both teams to take out of this match, not least the lack of a defeat. And with defensive performances like this, the Progressans may remain unbeaten throughout the group stage. However, they'll need to start turning draws into wins to be sure of qualification.

Harlesburg Footbal Squad for World Cup 24.(I cant remeber the Official name something like the Harlesburg falcons...It is the National team though.) :Shifty:
My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers Y
Godmod Scoring Events Y
RP injuries to my players Y
Godmod injuries to my players Y
Hand out Yellow cards to my players Y if i lose yes which id expect..
Hand out Red cards to my players Y
Godmod Other Events Y

Goalkeepers
#1 Derrick Potter 28 No longer the aprentice of Chapworth at the Cannoneers after moving to Ollaf he himself is the number one keeper in the national team and earned Ollaf another HFL title.
#21 Olsen Olsen 23 A young up and comer playing for the Menor Minutemen strong kicking game and can handle himself one on one.Was a strong thoughtfull head for the under21 in his time.

Defenders
#3 Fillo Pastry 30 Harlesburg Gunners Centre Defender
#4 Anderson Gallupup 23 Harlesburg Bombardiers Right Wing in his 2nd Season.
#5 Kirk Freeman 26 Left Defence and Sweeper playing for Johnstown FC Held on to his contract after a strong World Cup 23 showing.
#13 Derrick Jaresten 26 Right Defence 6'2" tall and is often brought in when the team is behind.His Height is handy in the Box at either end whether clearing corners or putting heat on the opposing defence.Plays for Lexington FC
#20 Mark Jelleit 28 Portsmouth Leeks Defender in his 7th season at the top yet only new to the National team may not see much more International competition after this.
Midfielders
#6 Daniel Derrick 29 Runs the show well for the Portsmouth Leeks dictating the flow of the game is his style.
#7 Maverick Chance 22 young fast and agile playing in his 4th season with the Ollaf Green Boots has scored 56 goals in HFL matches from 118 matches.
#8 Fredderick Roberts 29 13 seasons of giving him 295 games and 60 goals for the Fredericksburg Farriers.
#14 Hassim Salad 31 Plays for the Harlesburg Archers FC scoring 118 goals in his 16 seasons of 440 games.
#16 Leroy Brown 26 Fellow Harlesburg Archer likes the ball at his feet and not afraid to take a shot from distance gets a fair amound of cut off both feet.29 Goals in 40 games.Performed well at last cup.
#19 Peter Von Nowg 26 Rendypons Strikers Midfielder has scored 135 goals in 6 seasons with his team.New to the National team
Strikers
#10 Alexander Wertson 27 Fifth season in The Harlesburg League scoring 65 goals in 128 games while his neat crosses have accounted for many more.Plays for Rodda FC
#11 Lerrick Jones 26 Frankton FC have a good future if this lad performs to anywhere near the potential he has shown so far in his 6 seasons scoring 122 Goals in 154 matches Impressive at last Cup Qualifiers.
#15 Jacob Treulrt 22 First Season of International Football for this man out of Harlesburg Archers a team that seems to be a conveyor belt of quality Forwards.4 seasons of Profesional Football.

Coach
Bobby Truelaud

Status
Boring Defensive Team that likes to Counter Attack scores mostly from Headers.


#10 Alexander Wertson
#15 Jacob Treulrt 11 Lerrick Jones

#16 Leroy Brown
6 Daniel Derrick #14 Hassim Salad(C)

#4 Anderson Gallupup 3 Fillo Pastry 13 Derrick Jaresten
5 Kirk Freeman

#1 Derrick Potter

Kit
HOME Yellow Shirt Blue Shorts
AWAY Blue Shirt Blue Shorts
Alternate Red Shirt Blue Shorts
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v630/harlesburg/Kennyspictures.png
sorry ive been really really busy.

Casaran Broadcasting Alliance
A little thanks would be nice on occasion, you know.

We can't beat anyone
It makes us want to cry

Another match, another pointless tie. Except this time it was against the Worst Team in the Group.

"Frankly, we don't know what to work on anymore." GM/C Hill said. "We have a bye tomorrow, so instead of forcing my players to sit and read or run laps around a crappy pitch at some high school, they're getting a day on the town. The only thought I have left is that relaxation could help in some way and stop us from getting all these freaking ties."

Despite the fact that Casari could not win a game to save it's life in this tournement, they remain in 4th place in the group, a single point behind the only team they've managed to beat in this competition, The Lowland Clans.

"I mean, it's a totally different thing if we manage to beat the teams below us and tie the ones above, but the exact opposite is happening and it's rather pathetic, I'm afraid." Nameless Offical #4 said earlier.

Casari's bye is coming up, and it will be used for some much needed relaxing before their final two games.

"We need to not suck. That's our problem."

Good Results more important than love
Casarans choose wins 4-1 over love

"Screw the other guys. We need to win."

That fan's comment clearly defines what the priorities are in Casaran soccer. Somewhat pleased at the outpouring of love during the tournement, we decided to ask what fans tought and recieved some interesting responses.

"We'll get around to the love thing when we win. Then there'll be love for everyone. Before that everyone else has to lose."

Other News:

Pressurized beer taps installed at Casaran National
"A proud day for our entire nation"

Study finds most memos in capital are off-color jokes
No crackdowns expected

Not Entirely Pointless


After a short delay matchday 4 of the Cup of Harmony went ahead with the Hyppos needing a win to rescue their seriously flagging chance of a place in the knockout stages. Guess what readers? It didn’t happen.

Hypocria 1 - 1 Casari
Shirko

Not exactly easy to get excited about is it? An Andrei Shirko goal in the second half cancelled out Casari’s first half leveller in what was a largely dull and uninspiring game between two sides who haven’t exactly set the tournament alight. It means Hypocria hasn’t won a game since the group stages of the AOCAF and a 2 - 0 win over Sarzonia. It also means the Hyppos have still never picked up all three points from a Cup of Harmony tie. But hey, we got a point.

“They called us the worst team of the group”, coach de Winter moaned at reporters. “We’re not the worst team. Well I suppose we are as we’re bottom but we’re not if you know what I mean. According to the rankings we’re the third best team in the group. Third best! That’s what’s so annoying. We go into these tournaments knowing we can achieve something and then never do.”

It could have of course been worse, we could be Lowland Clans supporters. The Lowland Clans media have made no secret of their deep dislike for Milchama and also of how they would deeply enjoy a big win over the Warriors. A final score of Milchama 4 - 2 Lowland Clans would not make pleasant reading. It means Milchama top the group having won all three of their games. In the other game Harlesburg proved they have awful timing as they comfortably beat Praying2God 3 - 0 to register their first points of the campaign. It’s so nice to know the group’s top seeds have found their form just as they’re set to play the Hyppos.

Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
Milchama 3 3 0 0 9 5 +4 9
NMS 3 2 1 0 6 4 +2 7
Lowland Clans 4 2 0 2 7 7 +0 6
Casari 4 1 2 1 7 7 +0 5
Harlesburg 4 1 0 3 6 7 -1 3
Praying2God 3 0 2 1 6 9 -3 2
Hypocria 3 0 1 2 3 7 -4 1

Screw Poetry
Memorandum from the Department of Culture

Quite frankly if we get out of this group we’re going to write a whole bloody opera on the subject.

Location: Loyalty Bay, PopularFreedom (Loyalty Bay Informer headquarters)

Karl Mann: So how did your Hartford Sharks do today Jim?

Jim Titon: It's the Harbour Sharks and they did okay, thanks for asking.

Karl Mann: No problem. So they win?

Jim Titon: No, unfortunately they lost 4-3.

Karl Mann: Well that sounds close at least.

Jim Titon: Not really. Hockey Canada our opponents were up 4-1 before we did much of anything. They got one guy on that team, Mike Ko, who scored 2 goals in the first 20 minutes of play. Then their midfielder Rahul Kulkarni scored the 3rd at the 30th minute before we actually found net.

Karl Mann: That guy Balboa...

Jim Titon: Biblia, Roy Biblia. Forward for the Sharks.

Karl Mann: Yea whatever, Biblia did he score at all?

Jim Titon: Unfortunately not. Forward Jason Greese scored a goal for us at the 39th minute but then Hockey Canada scored again at the 44th minute, that Mike Ko guy again.

Karl Mann: Wow, a hattrick. That guy sounds good.

Jim Titon: Not sure, I just know against us he was.

Karl Mann: K. You said the final score was like 4-3 though.

Jim Titon: Yea, Biblia got pulled in the second half and his replacement Martin Young scored 2 early in the second half. Rumours are swirling that Young might start next game in place of Biblia but I doubt that.

Karl Mann: Wow, so sounds like we were rallying for most of the 2nd.

Jim Titon: Naw, they held most of the control after those 2 goals, the first one by Young was in fact a fluke, the Hockey Canada goalie shoulda had it but just plain missed it.

Karl Mann: I see

Jim Titon: Hey, how are you so interested in Pearson Cliffs football teams now anyhow?

Karl Mann: You didn't hear?

Jim Titon: Hear what?

Karl Mann: The two top leagues in football in PopularFreedom are merging effective the end of the season. The Bay League will be tier 1 however whoever is last in the Bay League will play 1st place in the Pearson Cliffs league, the winner plays in the Bay League the following season while the loser is relegated to the Pearson Cliffs league.

Jim Titon: Wow! When did that hit the news?

Karl Mann: It didn't yet, it should tomorrow, I heard it from sources though most in the football world know of it now, surprised you didn't know about it, oh wait, you cheer for a Pearson Cliffs team, now I know why.

Jim Titon: Oh whatever!

both men laugh as they continue their conversation about football as they work.

At half time the fans
Are extremely priviliged
To hear monks chanting

It's all in Latin
We don't speak any of that
But it still sounds nice


The Holy Synod of the Archregimancy would like to correct a slight misconception in Bettia's otherwise lovely haiku.

Our monks are Orthodox monks. Given that most of them are convinced that the Pope of Rome is at the very least in league with freemasons, and the other 5% think there's a possibility that he heralds the arrival of Antichrist, Latin is unlikely to be their language of choice.

The language of the Archregimancy is Old Church Liturgic, which in practical terms sounds sort of like Old Church Slavonic and formal Church Greek mashed together, with a little bit of Aramaic thrown in for good measure.

However, so that our friends from Bettia don't feel left out, star Archregimancy midfielder Fr. David the Water-Drinker - who plays for Llanilltud Fawr, and is the only Western Rite monk on the team - has arranged for the liturgy to be sung in Cymraeg at the next Bettia match.

So gather round all you Bettia supporters for Yr Offeren Ddwyfol....

[OOC: which, believe it or not, can be purchased in real life from http://www.arimathea.co.uk/OFFEREN.HTM ; hope this won't be taken as an advert for a commercial product - I'm just tickled to death that the Orthodox Liturgy's available in Welsh at all]

MISTAKE SPOTTED IN TABLES

Tournament organisers were embarrassed today to discover a mistake in the tables going all the way back to match day 2. "Lowland Clans should have 10 goals for and 8 against in the matchday 4 table. We hope to correct this in the matchday 5 table, and will doublecheck all other results. Boy, do we have egg on our faces". Anonymous spokespeople assured teams that the _points_ totals were, however, accurate. We think. Fingers crossed

Lowland Clans' goals are
Still not listed correctly.
We are filled with shame

MATCHDAY 5

There once were some teams who had boasted
That they liked all the scores that were posted
But these teams had won
So they weren't quite as glum
As the squads that had found they'd been worsted


[tables provisional - a quality control check for table accuracy is underway; please let me know via telegram if you believe a mistake has been made]


The Archregimancy 2-2 Bettia
Hockey Canada 1-2 Ruventsoria
Kaze Progressa 3-2 PopularFreedom

Group winners
Qualified for playoffs
Eliminated from Tournament

Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
Hockey Canada 5 3 0 2 8 7 +1 9
Kaze Progressa 4 2 2 0 6 4 +2 8
The Archregimancy 4 2 1 1 7 4 +3 7
Bettia 5 1 3 1 9 7 +2 6
Oliverry 4 1 3 0 7 6 +1 6
Ruventsoria 4 1 1 2 3 6 -3 4
PopularFreedom 4 0 0 4 8 14 -6 0




Harlesburg 3-1 Hypocria
Milchama 2-4 Praying2God
New Montreal States 1-0 The Lowland Clans

Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
NMS 4 3 1 0 7 4 +3 10
Milchama 4 3 0 1 11 9 +2 9
Lowland Clans 5 2 0 3 10 9 +1 6
Harlesburg 5 2 0 3 9 8 +1 6
Casari 4 1 2 1 7 7 +0 5
Praying2God 4 1 2 1 10 11 -1 5
Hypocria 4 0 1 3 4 10 -6 1


This half of the tournament hosts would like to extend its sympathy to Hypocria, who have become our sentimental squad of choice for their perseverence in the face of adversity. That much undeserved suffering must be good for the soul. Has the team perhaps considered converting to Orthodoxy and joining a monastery en masse?

I've narrowed down the haiku to two standouts (who will remain nameless for suspense purposes). I'll post the winner sometime tomorrow. I might throw in a honorable mention if I still can't decide.

Chi Sun-Times-Tribune-Star-News-Today

Sports Section

The Warriors lose to the Warriors 4-2

The Milchama Warriors, clearly still tired after beating the Lowland Clans, could not generate enough offense or defense today and lost to the Praying2God Warriors 4-2. Coach Jonathan Fairbanks said, "Losing our Milckey and Feders hurt us more than anybody could have expected. Thank god they can play tommorow."
Match Report:
The game started bad for the Warriors who had to replace starters Tuck Feders and Silas Milckey who were both red carded against the Lowland Clans. This allowed the Warriors to start attacking and they scored their first goal only 9 minutes in when <dude> scored to make it 1-0 the Warriors. This forced the Warriors into a bad situation that they could not get out of and put them on the counter-attack which was absolutely devastating. The Warriors almost scored on a counter-attack in the 17th minute when Matt Bantin headed the ball just wide. The Warriors again knocked at the door of scoring in the 20th minute when Floren's shot was saved by the keeper. This forced a corner for the Warriors that led to a goal in the 21st minute when Bantin did not miss to tie the game at one. This mad the Warriors mad and they beat up on our sub Brandon Callers so only two minutes later the score was 2-1 Warriors. The Warriors extended their lead again right before halftime in the 43rd minute when <guy> put a perfect shot on net to make it 3-1 Warriors. The score at half time Warriors 3-1 Warriors.
Second Half Report:
The Warriors started the second half on a rampage and should of scored in the 47th when J.J. Faren's shot went just high on free kick. Then in the 50th minute the Warriors fell back and gave up a goal as Johnny Rintell passed the ball off to Marc J. Floren who shot and scored to make it 3-2 Warriors. Unfortunately this was the closest the Warriors would come to tieing the game for the rest of the half. The Warriors though continued to attack and even scored in the 65th on a beautiful corner kick that went just past Tuck Koolerc. That was really the end of the attacking although the Warriors did dominate the midfield for the rest of the game.
Final Score:
Warriors 2 (Bantin 21, Floren 50)
Warriors 4 (9, 23, 43, 65)

WARRIORS PULL OFF STUNNING UPSET

Yes, you read that correctly Warriors fans...the Praying2God Warriors actually won a match for once, between their Warrior counterparts from Milchama 4-2. It was a result that stunned even the most diehard Warriors fan, as Milchama had been the most impressive team in the tournament coming in. However, the Warriors came out playing aggressive soccer and capitlized on their chances early, scoring in the 9th, 23rd, and 43rd minutes to take a 3-1 into halftime. The goals belonged to defender Luke Royal, Thomas Larson, and Alissa Madison. After halftime, the Warriors refused to let up, and despite slipping up early and allowing a goal in the 50th minute, cruised to victory with Kelly Carter adding insurance in the 65th minute. The lead gave the world a chance to be reacquainted with how tough keeper Sarah Walker is to score on when she is protecting a lead in the late stages of a match. The Warriors suddenly find themselves in a place where they could potentially qualify, as they are a single point out of the third (and final) qualifying position with two matches to play, with one of those being against bottom-feeders Hypocria. Should the Warriors take care of business in that match, and earn points against The Lowland Clans, they might be able to qualify for the finals.

REPORTER POSTS PICTURE ON THE INTERNET SUGGESTING THE UNTHINKABLE

A reporter for Praying2God's leading newspaper posted a picture on the internet with a suggestion as to why Warriors keeper Sarah Walker has been struggling to stop shots in the CoH. The picture appears with the caption "Playing for Two?" suggesting the unthinkable...that Walker might be pregnant without being married, or even engaged for that matter. In the picture it is clear that Walker has put on some weight, and that the weight gain appears to be focused in the stomach region, which implies either pregnancy or a beer gut. Considering that it is a well known fact that Walker does not drink, it only leaves one possibility. If she is indeed pregnant, who is the father? The leading candidate would seem to be Warriors star forward Thomas Larson, as there have been rampant rumors that the two of them are more than platonic friends; that they are actually in a romantic relationship with each other, even though neither of them will comment one way or the other on the matter. Is there any truth to the rumors? Nobody connected to the Warriors team is commenting on the matter.

PALADINS COLLECT ANOTHER TIGHT VICTORY

Defense protects early score by Johns as Paladins beat Lowland Clans

NEW MONTREAL - Tyler Johns had been enduring a lackluster tournament so far, with poor performances in every game after the first one. This team captain and supposed offense dynamo had been eclipsed by an excellent showing by the midfield.

All that changed last night, as Johns ran rings around the LLC defense on his way to a first-half goal that stood for the night as the Paladins earned a 1-0 win over The Lowland Clans in a crucial game for group position. Of course, in a group with 6 teams vying for a playoff spot right now, every game is crucial.

Manager William Branstone, an Audislavian out of exile, joined the haiku frenzy in his postgame conference, stating:

Competitive group
Both teams showed great strength tonight
We must not grow weak

And speaking of haiku...

LOVE Haiku contest winner!

We love lots of beer
There should be beer for all peeps
Then we will have love

After a poll was conducted by a team of NMS government researchers attempting to break a deadlock, this Lowland Clans haiku was selected by a majority of voters. Bettia's full-match summary was ahead until someone pointed out that love was not mentioned once. But it's still the most original summary we've seen in quite a while.

//EDIT: Not only that, but anyone who has been to their share of parties will notice that this does, in fact, reflect reality to an accurate, if shameful, degree//

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

CUP OF HARMONY TONIGHT

With Fr. Nicholas the Scribe and Fr. John the Golden-Throated

"An exciting game last night, Fr. John..."

"Absolutely. A thriller versus Bettia. Magnificent stuff - much better than our previous game. And what a spirit the match was played in too. Stirring stuff, and magnificent fair play on both sides. I think the Bettians really appreciated hearing Yr Offeren Ddwyfol in Cymraeg - thanks to Fr. David the Water Drinker for arranging that. Not every squad visiting the Archregimancy gets to hear the Liturgy in their native language."

"The 4-2-4 formation that Bettia play, that's a very unusual formation these days isn't it?"

"Yes, in these days of System Karela, playing four forwards seems almost suicidal, but due credit to Bettia - they want to play attacking football, and they play attacking football. And attractive attacking football at that. Or at least it was last night. It might be an unorthodox formation, but it's certainly not an un-Orthodox formation"

[both chuckle]

"Shall we look at the highlights, Fr. John?"

"Absolutely. Bettia scored first. Look at this magnificent 25th minute tackle from Tyrno'r to dispossess Fr. Pavel. Williams then took the loose ball, sent a long pass upfield to Hutton, who found himself with only Fr. Dmitri to beat. And while Fr. Dmitri forced Hutton wide, the Bettian still managed to squeeze a shot past Fr. Justinian. Good goal, nothing we could do.

But it took us only 6 minutes to respond. Watch this - it's arguably even better. Fr. Andrew the Twice-Found plays a neat one-two with Fr. Polycarp, backheels it to Fr. David the Water-Drinker who looks like he's going to take a shot, but instead steps over the ball, and Fr. Silouan fires a low shot past DiTorino as the Bettian defence are completely fooled. Goals like that really make you feel blessed.

Our lads continued to dominate midfield - perhaps inevitably - but Bettia's defence remained strong, and Hutton, Ward, Hunter and Bin Majd were all proving a handful. Then, 20 minutes into the second half, it was our turn to take the lead. Fr. Michael the Lesser overlaps with Fr. Pavel on the right - and watch this - Fr. Pavel, for once in his life, drifts in to the centre, and Carew is too busy marking Fr. Michael the Hermit to pick up on Fr. Pavel. Fr. Michael the Lesser sends in a low cross, the ball deflects to Fr. Pavel, and he scores a rare goal. And watch this... he pulls out his personal icon from his robe and starts venerating it on the spot. Now that's a goal-scoring celebration.

But the scoring wasn't over. Bettia threw everything forward, and with our World Cup qualifying habit of conceding late goals, you couldn't rest easy for our lads. And, almost inevitably, Fr. Michael the Greater makes a game-saving tackle on the edge of the box deep in stoppage time, and the referee awards a free-kick. Fairly, I have to concede, though there was no malice in the tackle. Connick sent in the free kick, Fr. Justinian saved, couldn't hold onto the ball, and Hutton cleaned it up. 2-2"

"But suffering's good for the soul, Fr. John"

"True, Fr. Nicholas, but somehow last night conceding a late goal didn't seem like suffering. So well did both teams play, so fair was the spirit the match was played in, that a draw somehow didn't seem like suffering. It was the right result.

"What about the rest of the tournament?"

"Well, PopularFreedom are the first team to have been eliminated, but otherwise things are desperately tight. The bye system makes it very hard to predict how the groups will turn out. Even the poor Hyppos of Hypocria can qualify in Group 2 if they win their remaining two games - though that requires that other results go their way. I'd say that our co-hosts in New Montreal States have to be favourites to go through in their group since they're guaranteed a winning record, but otherwise anything could happen. And I'd be willing to bet - if betting wasn't an immoral activity that monks simply don't participate in - that anything will.

LOVE Haiku contest winner!

We love lots of beer
There should be beer for all peeps
Then we will have love



"Pah. You call that love poetry?" said the Prince Imperial "That's not love poetry. That's a celebration of carnal lust and alcohol. True love poetry involves odes to my beloved Zoe Carbonopsina, like 'Luvvy-Wuvvie-Fuvvie' and 'I Love You Like a Cute Little Fluffy Puppy Doggy Does'. And besides, where's the skill in Haiku? Where, in fact, is the love?"

"That's all very nice, Your Highness, but this isn't a forum for you to comment on other people's poetry - this is a forum for the Cup of Harmony. You should just go back to the palace and let the Archregimancy get on with it. Imagine what the Basileus would say if he found out you had pierced the veil of the Dreamed Realm and involved Alasdair I Frosticus in a mere football tournament?"

"I suppose you're right, but still... Do you think Zoe Carbonopsina will ever love me? Maybe if I write a little ditty called 'Your Body's Bits Bounce Like a Cup of Harmony Ball'?"

"I really don't think that'll work, Your Highness. I _really_ don't think that'll work...."

Another Day Another Defeat


Four games down now and Hypocria’s Hyppos are continuing to be Group 2’s premier purveyor of three points to anyone who wants them.

Hypocria 1 - 3 Harlesburg
Liberda

This time it was Harlesburg who added to the Hyppos tale of woe with a comfortable 3 - 1 win. The strangest thing happened in this game, we actually took the lead. Krytenia based Alex Liberda picked up Baxter’s pass and slotted the ball past Derrick Potter in the Harlesburg goal. However being in this odd position of actually winning a game caused widespread panic in the Hypocria ranks enabling Harlesburg to equaliser before halftime and put two more past the despairing Derevko in the second half.

Just as things looked like they couldn’t get any worse the squad hit a new low after being described as “bottom-feeders” by the media in Praying2God. Now being described as “the worst team in the group” by those drunken chaps in Casari hurt but this new one sounds positively revolting.

“That comment may come back to haunt them”, coach de Winter told members of the media. “They have a good chance of qualification but they have to play us on the final day. Who knows, we might just beat them.” Apparently the coach chose to ignore the chorus of stifled laughter that followed his last comment.

It’s not all doom and gloom as those nice monks in The Archregimancy have selected the Hyppos as their “sentimental squad of choice”. Which is handy as, although still a mathematical possibility, divine intervention will probably be needed to see Hypocria advance to the next round. Team officials have also politely declined the monk’s suggestion of converting to Orthodoxy and enlisting at the nearest monastery. Although they would like to stress that as suffering is good for the soul the team will certainly be returning home as much better people after this experience.

In the other group games hosts the New Montreal States inflicted a second consecutive defeat on the Lowland Clans after the Paladins edged the Clansmen 1 - 0 at the Paladin Dome. Milchama’s run of wins came to an abrupt end when the Warriors went head to head with the other Warriors and lost 4 - 2.

Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
NMS 4 3 1 0 7 4 +3 10
Milchama 4 3 0 1 11 9 +2 9
Lowland Clans 5 2 0 3 10 9 +1 6
Harlesburg 5 2 0 3 9 8 +1 6
Casari 4 1 2 1 7 7 +0 5
Praying2God 4 1 2 1 10 11 -1 5
Hypocria 4 0 1 3 4 10 -6 1

Over in the Dreamed Realm Hockey Canada surprisingly lost 2 - 1 to the Lions of Ruventsoria which allowed Kaze Progressa to move to just one point behind the Canucks after their 3 - 2 win over PopularFreedom. The Aroras and the The Archregimancy drew 2 - 2 but both sides are still well in the hunt for a place in the knockout stages. The results also mean PopularFreedom have beaten the Hyppos (doesn't everyone?) in the race to be the first team effectively eliminated from the competition.

Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
Hockey Canada 5 3 0 2 8 7 +1 9
Kaze Progressa 4 2 2 0 6 4 +2 8
The Archregimancy 4 2 1 1 7 4 +3 7
Bettia 5 1 3 1 9 7 +2 6
Oliverry 4 1 3 0 7 6 +1 6
Ruventsoria 4 1 1 2 3 6 -3 4
PopularFreedom 4 0 0 4 8 14 -6 0

So it’s Michama next and it’s win or bust. Fans may remember that Hypocria sat bottom of their World Cup qualification group with two games left and then won those two game to finish not quite bottom of the group. It is this huge achievement ( :rolleyes: ) we must remember as we search to salvage at least some pride from Cup of Harmony 16, or for fans of Roman numerals, XVI.

After two completely different matches both ended in draws - a 2-2 thriller with Oliverry, a 0-0 Karelan masterclass with Bettia - the Progressans returned to winning (and thrilling) ways with a 3-2 defeat of PopularFreedom, who have now lost all four games and become the first eliminated side.

Not that you could tell that from the first ten minutes of this, as they started like a train. Rumours spread that Martin Young was to replace Roy Biblia up front after scoring two goals as a substitute to turn a humbling 4-1 scoreline into a more respectable 4-3 against Hockey Canada - but it turned out that both started alongside Jason Greese in a 4-3-3 formation, and the Progressans were rattled. Greese hit the post on six minutes, and his cheeky chip three minutes later was only just tipped away by Arista Hetujuk. Biblia's header from the resulting corner went in via an unfortunate deflection off Yortvi Zair, rumoured to be on his way to Krytenian club Neathill Town next season and utterly helpless here.

That goal spurred the Progressans to life and ironically it was the most unexpected source of Zair that produced an equaliser. More ironically yet, it was a header from a corner, after Dodia Tiakosuv's 29th-minute free-kick hit the wall and just missed the far post. The lead came just four minutes later, Syzip Bytor's low shot from just outside the penalty area going in off the left post. And it was lost again two minutes before half-time when Biblia's perfect through pass found Young, who sidestepped Hetujuk to leave himself an open goal to shoot into for his third goal in less than 90 minutes of international football. Sadly for him, a hat-trick it was not.

More sadly for his team, they crumbled to their fourth straight defeat courtesy of a soft goal, a poor clearance going straight to Tiakosuv who found Olog in acres of space to slot home what proved to be the winner with twenty minutes left.


Kaze Progressa 3-2 PopularFreedom
Zair 29 Zair og 9
Bytor 33 Young 43
Olog 70

The Enlightener: 26th September 2005 : BABES supplement inside today's issue
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y231/bettia/FAB.jpg

A Tale of Two Draws

Bettia 0
Kaze Progressa 0

Bettia 2 (Hutton 25 90)
The Archregimancy 2 (Fr. Silouan 31, Fr. Pavel 65)

Bettia came through the weekend's games with two points in the bag, although the management and fans will be less than happy with the team's position.

First off, the thousands of Bettian fans who made their way to the Pantaleimon yawned their way through a goaless draw against Kaze Progressa. A desparately off-key performance saw little in the way of attacking guile or goalscoring opportunities, although Latif Hunter will be kicking himself after hitting the post when it seemed easier to score.

The second game saw the Aroras up against their hosts The Archregimancy who went out of their way to make their guests feel welcome, a move much appreciated by the FAB.

Two teams with attacking intent came together in a game that was infinately better - or at least it was for any watching neutrals in the crowd. Hospitals throughout Bettia reported a marked increase in heart attacks (thankfully with no fatalities) and over-chewed fingernails, all as a result of watching this fine advert for the beautiful game.

Bettia scored first after 25 minutes, after Gwynoro Tyrno'r dispossessed Fr. Pavel and then sent a long ball forward. The ever-astute Chris Hutton sprang the offside trap and fired in from an acute angle after ghosting his way past Fr. Justinian.

However, that advantage didn't last long and The Archregimancy were soon back on level terms, after undoing the Aroras defence with some exquisite interplay ending with Fr. Silouan firing home.

The game remained one-one well into the second half with nothing separating the two sides despite numourous chances at either end. The hosts went in front on 65 minutes after the Bettian defence was caught napping. Fr. Michael the Lesser's cross was somehow met by Fr. Pavel, who made no mistake to send his side 2-1 in front.

To their credit, Bettia never gave up and exerted some intense pressure on the Archregimancy dfeence, to the point where Musa Williams and Geraint Carew were substituted for Cynfor Gwyns and Laurie LeClerc. Playing any portion of a game with a 2-2-6 formation is always dangerous, but thankfully this risky ploy paid off albeit rather fortunately after a slightly dubious free-kick was awarded on the edge of the Archregimancy penalty area during injury time. Connick's freekick was well saved, but Chris Hutton was quick to pounce on the rebound and so ensured the Aroras came away from this game with a point.

This result along with scorelines elsewhere (not least of all Hockey Canada's shock defeat to Ruventsoria) leaves Group 1 in a very tight situation indeed, with the top six team separated by just three points. With no nations taking control of this group, it is impossible to predict just how this final table will end up. One thing's for certain though - with just one game left to play, Bettia will have to gain a good win their last match against PopularFreedom and pray that other results go their way to stand any remote chance of progressing from the first round.

Casaran Broadcasting Alliance
Just killing time between classes, yo.

Thank God Casari didn't play today
Thought of another soul-destroying draw too much to bear

Casari had their off day today, hoping that it could reinspire thge side into closing out the competition with a few wins. Frightningly, that may not be the case, seeing as almost half of the team has yet to report back to team headquarters.

"I'm sure they'll stumble in sometime tonight and be ready to go tomorrow versus group hosts NMS, where hopefully we won't have our souls ground into the dirt lake we've managed to do up to this point." Striker Newberry said, the lone Forward to return from the night of parties. "All I can say is that I happen to be feeling well at the moment. It was a little touch-and-go last night when I was rollerblading behind that car though."

Location: Loyalty Bay, PopularFreedom (Loyalty Bay Informer Headquarters)

Jim Titon walks into the editing room.

Jim Titon: What a game, it was awesome, it was stupendous, absolutely brilliant!

Karl Mann: Congrats so the Sharks finally won?

Jim Titon: No.

Karl Mann: No! What do you mean you seemed all excited...

Jim Titon: Of course I am, Biblia scored again.

Karl Mann: Cool, how did he score.

Jim Titon: Well it was the 9th minute and he headed a corner and it hit a Kaze Progressa player and went into the net. Awesome

Karl Mann: Jim, that's not a goal, that is an own goal on the Kaze Progressa player.

Jim Titon: Yea but Biblia was the last one who touched it, isn't that awesome!

Karl Mann: And you say that the Harbour Sharks are one of the best in the Pearson Cliffs league?

Jim Titon: You betcha!

Karl Mann: Wow, they won't even beat the Capitalists (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=9700890&postcount=16) I bet!

Jim Titon: Who are the Capitalists?

Karl Mann: Downtown Capitalists (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Downtown_Capitalists). The worst team for the last few years in the Bay Football League (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/PopularFreedom_Bay_Football_League). They just got slaughtered yesterday by the 2nd worst team in the league too, yet if you are getting excited over one goal. Actually how did that Martin Young guy do anyhow?

Jim Titon: He got a goal as well.

Karl Mann: So they substituted off Cameron Post?

Jim Titon: Yep.

Karl Mann: Hmmmm, maybe it is in the coaching why you guys are doing so bad.

Jim Titon: We're not doing bad!

Karl Mann: You won a game?

Jim Titon: No

Karl Mann: You're doing bad then! Face facts.

Jim Titon: Naw man, we still have a chance

Another person in the editing room pipes up upon hearing this.

Larry Boich: Jim, your Sharks were officially eliminated today.

Karl just shook his head and laughed as he thought of the scenario of the Capitalists playing the Harbour Sharks.

Group 1:

The Archregimancy 0 - 2 Oliverry
Bettia 4 - 3 PopularFreedom
Ruventsoria 1 - 2 Kaze Progressa

Group winners
Qualified for playoffs
Eliminated from Tournament

Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
Kaze Progressa 5 3 2 0 8 5 +3 11
Bettia 6 2 3 1 13 10 +3 9
Oliverry 5 2 3 0 9 6 +3 9
Hockey Canada 5 3 0 2 8 7 +1 9
The Archregimancy 5 2 1 2 7 6 +1 7
Ruventsoria 5 1 1 3 4 8 -4 4
PopularFreedom 5 0 0 5 11 18 -7 0


Group 2:

The Lowland Clans 2 - 1 Praying2God
Hypocria 2 - 1 Milchama
New Montreal States 0 - 1 Casari

Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
NMS 5 3 1 1 7 5 +2 10
Lowland Clans 6 3 0 3 12 10 +2 9
Milchama 5 3 0 2 12 11 +1 9
Casari 5 2 2 1 8 7 +1 8
Harlesburg 5 2 0 3 9 8 +1 6
Praying2God 5 1 2 2 11 13 -2 5
Hypocria 5 1 1 3 6 11 -5 4

The leaf must soon die
We feel for the fallen teams
Best of luck in WC25

PRAYING2GOD REPORTER JAILED FOR LIBEL

The Praying2God reporter who posted the photo and caption suggesting that Warriors keeper Sarah Walker was pregnant was jailed yesterday for libel. It was discovered that the picture was digitaly altered to make it look like she was pregnant. The maximum penalty for libel in this case is up to 10 years in prison, a 250 thousand prayer fine, and revokation of his journalism license. More details as they become available.

2005-09-27

Harbour Sharks lose again at Cup of Harmony.
Disgusting display ruining prestige of PopularFreedom nation in the football world.

INTERNATIONAL REPORT - A day after the football elite leagues in the nation joined forces, the Harbour Sharks, representing the nation at the Cup of Harmony were beaten once again.

The Sharks, currently with a record of 0-5 have played horribly throughout the tournament despite what some of the close scores might indicate. Today's game proved no exception to this common practice either.

The opponents, the Bettia Aroras, now hold the 2nd spot in the group as they marched onto the field and thoroughly dominated the Harbour Sharks. The Aroras controlled the ball from the opening kickoff. Gethin Ward was able to slice through the pourous defense of the Sharks getting away shot after shot until finally he was able to get the ball past goaltender Roscoe Smith to make it 1-0 at the 8th minute of play.

The following 15 minutes the Aroras were again able to wade through the Harbour Sharks defenders but Smith was able to keep them at bay. Then in the 23rd minute Arora forward Gethin Ward was again able to come up with a rebound and blast home a shot to up the score to 2-0.

The Sharks bewildered by the constant pressure switched to a 3-0-7 formation for the ensuing kickoff and this seemed to work for a while. The Sharks were able to march down the field and quickly score a goal from the edge of the box as Cameron Post fired a shot that flew out of the reach of Arora goaltender Ricardo DiTorino in the 25th minute. This uprising however was short lived as on the ensuing restart, the Aroras marched back down field and after a few minutes of rattling the ball off Shark goaltender Roscoe Smith were again able to find the net at the 31st minute to make it 3-1 after a brilliant shot by Arora midfielder Evan Brooks.

The Arora forwards continued their dominance in play and were rewarded just before halftime as forward Lewis Bin Majd was able to head a corner into the right upper corner at the 43rd minute mark to make it 4-1 for the Aroras entering halftime.

At the break the Aroras substituted off a number of their star players and the Sharks seemed to take advantage of this in the early stages of the second half. At the 49th minute Martin Young, who had replaced Roy Biblia at halftime, was able to break through the Arora defense and after a breakaway, arch a quick shot over a sprawling Ricardo DiTorino to cut the Arora lead to 4-2. Minutes later the Sharks were again able to steal the ball off defender Ioan Keffin, a substitute at halftime for the Aroras, and scream into the Arora end. This time however DiTorino made a wonderful save off the shot by Young. Arora defender Ioan Keffin however was a bit overeager in his hustle to get the ball from Young and tripped him in the penalty box area. Young made no mistake on the penalty kick and at the 55th minute of play the Aroras found their lead had diminished again to a 4-3 score.

Incensed at the mistakes Keffin had made causing the last 2 goals, the Arora coach quickly substituted the 25 year old off and replaced him with a much more reliable defender in Wasim Morgan. Morgan proved to be much better than his counterpart as this weakness in the Arora defensive line was now shored up.

The remainder of the game was the Aroras putting on a passing clinic as the Sharks for the most part were unable to get a hold of the ball for long. As the whistle ended to end the embarrassment the Sharks were able to leave the field with a 4-3 score which was much closer than the actually game itself. Fans of the Harbour Sharks can only hope they play a bit better in the games to come instead of the rookie effort seen thus far in the tournament.

Location: Loyalty Bay, PopularFreedom (Loyalty Bay Informer Headquarters)

Jim Titon walks into the cafeteria and sees his friend Karl Mann sitting eating.

Jim Titon: Hey, I heard someone finally wrote an article about the Harbour Sharks in our paper!

Karl Mann: Yea I did.

Jim Titon: Really? That's awesome!

Karl Mann: Jim, your team really sucks, no offense.

Jim Titon: Yea, cause they pulled Biblia, I can't believe...

Karl Mann: What is this fasination with Biblia. Sure he has scored in the past but he is wearing concrete shoes out there now. The guy is past his time and it is about time your coach realize that. My gosh, when will they actually start Martin Young regularly. That guy is awesome.

Jim Titon: Hang on, did you watch the game?

Karl Mann: Yea against Bettia, and I have to say your coach, coach Rathlingburg, what a moron!

Jim Titon: Hey he has his good points...

Karl Mann: The guy might as well be blind! He starts Biblia instead of Young. He starts Maystine instead of Battlekin on defense. Is this guy clueless? Young scores a ton of goals and yet he still wants to start Biblia who gives the ball away more than santa gives presents.

Jim Titon: He doesn't screw up that much.

Karl Mann: Oh gosh, you sound like a politician trying to sell me a used car that is currently on fire or something. The guy is past his prime. Occasionally he makes a good run and then all the Harbour Shark nuts in the stands are all screaming as if he was some rock star or something. He is an old has been.

Jim Titon: Martin Young screwed up last season against Brunstone...

Karl Mann: One game! He screwed up one game and everyone won't let him forget it? My gosh if Shawn Peruvo (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Shawn_Peruvo) of the North Beach Sharks (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/North_Beach_Sharks) was benched cause he screwed up one game you think the North Beach Sharks would be where they are now?

Jim Titon: North Beach lost to a 10th ranked team this year, what you talking about?

*Karl Mann groans*

Karl Mann: Look, I think you Pearson Cliffs football fans follow an inferior sport but I care about our nation's football prestige and your team is ruining it no matter how well you think they are playing. My gosh they were first eliminated! FIRST! Are you that blind?!

...

The two continue to argue about football until they both realize they are late for work and rush back to their seperate desks.

Bloody Typical


Isn’t that just typical of our luck at the moment? The Hyppos actually win a Cup of Harmony game, for the first time ever, and then get eliminated from the tournament. But hey, we won.

Hypocria 2 - 1 Milchama
Baxter
Kreska

It took a captains performance to secure Hypocria’s first three points as team captain Marcus Baxter played magnificently from beginning to end, scoring the first goal with a sweetly struck freekick in the first half and creating the second late in the second. Midway through the second half the Warriors of Milchama had drawn level thanks to a goal from Floren but with just 2 minutes left on the clock centreback Sergey Kreska powered in a header from Baxter’s corner to secure a rare three points for Hypocria. But due to other results in the New Montreal States qualification for the next round officially became impossible.

“Although there was still a mathematical chance of qualifying we knew it was highly unlikely”, Michael de Winter said after the win. “So really we were just playing for pride. We were 4 points behind Praying2God going into that match so even though we won and they lost we’re still bottom of the group. But I don’t want to finish this tournament at the bottom so a win against Praying2God in the last match is essential.”

In the other group games hosts the New Montreal States could have secured qualification with a win but fell 1 - 0 to Casari, who now move to within 2 points of top spot. The Lowland Clans jumped into second place, above Milchama on goal difference, after their 2 - 1 win over Praying2God. But with the Clan sitting out the final round of matches their fans must sit and wait nervous as with Milchama, Casari and Harlesburg all breathing down their necks it could all still go horribly wrong. Praying2God join Hypocria, wondering what might have been.

Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
NMS 5 3 1 1 7 5 +2 10
Lowland Clans 6 3 0 3 12 10 +2 9
Milchama 5 3 0 2 12 11 +1 9
Casari 5 2 2 1 8 7 +1 8
Harlesburg 5 2 0 3 9 8 +1 6
Praying2God 5 1 2 2 11 13 -2 5
Hypocria 5 1 1 3 6 11 -5 4
In the Archregimancy Kaze Progressa continue their good run as they edged past Ruventsoria by 2 goals to 1 to stay top of the group. Bettia are in second after a thrilling 4 - 3 win over pointless PopularFreedom but, like the Lowland Clans, the Aroras don’t play in the final round of games. Oliverry join Bettia and Hockey Canada, who didn’t play, on 9 points after a 2 - 0 win over the hosts, who drop to fifth but can still qualify. Ruventsoria and PopularFreedom are both eliminated.

Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
Kaze Progressa 5 3 2 0 8 5 +3 11
Bettia 6 2 3 1 13 10 +3 9
Oliverry 5 2 3 0 9 6 +3 9
Hockey Canada 5 3 0 2 8 7 +1 9
The Archregimancy 5 2 1 2 7 6 +1 7
Ruventsoria 5 1 1 3 4 8 -4 4
PopularFreedom 5 0 0 5 11 18 -7 0
So it’s a basement battle against Praying2God to end this Cup of Harmony campaign for Hypocria and only a win will prevent the ignominy of finishing bottom of the group. So come on the Hyppos!

Casaran Broadcasting Alliance
-insert off-color remark-

HOLY CRAP
1-0 Win over NMS leaves hope for Casari Yet

Somehow, someway, Casari managed to push past Group Host and leader New Montreas States for a minimalist 1-0 victory.

"It sure feels good to finally be back in the win column, that's for sure." GM/C Hill said in her post match statements. "Now we have a number of routes open to us to get into the next round."

A disturbingly defensive contest, Casari and NMS stared at each other over the center of the pitch for 30 minutes, with neither team able to create any offense at all in the other team's territory.

That ended when a halfhearted lob fell at the legs of Ari Saienz, managed to keep it away long enough for a sustained attack to form, which resulted in a goal from 12 yards in the 41st minute.

The second half was just like much of the first. The continuous NMS probes of the Casaran Defense were turned away, and after threatening to score for the final ten minutes of the game, the final whistle blew and Casari delt NMS their first loss of the competition.

One Gameday Left
Who Needs what to qualify?

With onyl one Matchday left, only 2 teams from each group have been elimniated. So, to brong us up to speed on what teams need to win, we bring you the CoH version of who needs what.

Tomorrow's matches
ARC vs KP
HC vs OLI
RUV vs PF

Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
Kaze Progressa 5 3 2 0 8 5 +3 11
To win Group: KP win OR OLI tie HC tie
To Qualify: Lock
Bettia 6 2 3 1 13 10 +3 9
To Qualify: no OLI-HC tie AND no ARC win
Oliverry 5 2 3 0 9 6 +3 9
To Win Group: OLI win KP tie/loss
To Qualify: OLI tie
Hockey Canada 5 3 0 2 8 7 +1 9
To Win Group: HC Win by 3 KP tie OR HC Win KP loss
To Qualify: HC tie ARC tie/loss
The Archregimancy 5 2 1 2 7 6 +1 7
To Qualify: ARC win
Ruventsoria 5 1 1 3 4 8 -4 4
Eliminated
PopularFreedom 5 0 0 5 11 18 -7 0
Eliminated

Tomorrow's Matches
NMS vs MIL
CAS vs HAR
HYP vs P2G

Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
NMS 5 3 1 1 7 5 +2 10
To win group: NMS win OR NMS tie CAS loss/tie/win by 1
To Qualify: Lock
Lowland Clans 6 3 0 3 12 10 +2 9
To Qualify: MIL loss OR CAS tie/lose by 1
Milchama 5 3 0 2 12 11 +1 9
To win group: MIL win
To Qualify: MIL loss CAS-HAR tie OR MIL tie CAS tie/loss
Casari 5 2 2 1 8 7 +1 8
To Win Group: CAS win by 2 NMS-MIL tie
To Qualify: CAS win
Harlesburg 5 2 0 3 9 8 +1 6
TO Qualify: HAR win by 2 OR MIL loss HAR win
Praying2God 5 1 2 2 11 13 -2 5
Eliminated
Hypocria 5 1 1 3 6 11 -5 4
Eliminated

Holy crap, that was hella lot more work that I thought it'd be.

Hockey Canada vs. Oliverry - The rivalry continues...

Thanks to Hockey Canada's bye and some suspicion all over the Cup of Harmony, the Canucks will face off in their final round-robin game against Oliverry. The Hockey Canadians have a long rivalry with the Oliverrians ranging in all sports from soccer to basketball to lacrosse to hockey. The teams have been at each others throats for years and will finally square off tonight in a probably final battle with each other in the Cup of Harmony.

This years' edtion has featured Hockey Canada, the top-ranked team in Group 1 actually NOT on top heading into the final round-robin game, but seeing themselves in fourth on a technicality. The Canucks will have to really beat the Oliverrians by a lot more than two goals and hope the Kaze Progressians lose. A Bettian loss (we wish we were playing them) would seal the deal for the Canucks getting them in first. With no match report the day after nursing a hangover, Hockey Canada will just need their rest to hit the Oliverrians with all they've got.

Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
Kaze Progressa 5 3 2 0 8 5 +3 11
Bettia 6 2 3 1 13 10 +3 9
Oliverry 5 2 3 0 9 6 +3 9
Hockey Canada 5 3 0 2 8 7 +1 9
The Archregimancy 5 2 1 2 7 6 +1 7
Ruventsoria 5 1 1 3 4 8 -4 4
PopularFreedom 5 0 0 5 11 18 -7 0

Group 2 on the other hand is as tight as Group 1 with 2 points separating first from fourth, it's anyone's group. Hosts New Montreal States, despite lack of rank and roleplay are in first and lowland clans are second. Milchama and Casari are both lacking rank and a high-RP bonus but may pull off a win.

Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
NMS 5 3 1 1 7 5 +2 10
Lowland Clans 6 3 0 3 12 10 +2 9
Milchama 5 3 0 2 12 11 +1 9
Casari 5 2 2 1 8 7 +1 8
Harlesburg 5 2 0 3 9 8 +1 6
Praying2God 5 1 2 2 11 13 -2 5
Hypocria 5 1 1 3 6 11 -5 4

So it's do or die for the Canucks here... will they find themselves in the finals again or will they face an upset? Either way it'll be a good and close game.

OOC: Bettia don't play on the final day, so the 'if Bettia lose' is irrelevant - they already have 'lost' as it were, i.e. cannot gain another point. With three points for a win, you'll be top of the group if you win and I lose (this would leave me second and The Archregimancy third).

Casari's pretty much right but a win for The Archregimancy would confuse things more than he's noted. An Oliverry-Hockey Canada tie with an Archregimancy win would leave all three teams on 10pts. The team with the worst GD would be eliminated and the other two would qualify for the first knockout round while I skip merrily on to the semi-finals.

The Enlightener: 27th September 2005 : ooer missus
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y231/bettia/FAB.jpg

Now We Wait and See...

Bettia 4 (Ward 8 23, Brooks 31, Bin Majd 43)
PopularFreedom 3 (Post 25, Young 49 55pen)

Bettia subjected PopularFreedom to a four-goal first-half blitz, then survived a furious comeback in the second to hang on to a much-needed win.

This win leave the Aroroas in second place. Great you might think, but unfortunately it's our turn for a bye, meaning that the entire nation must sweat on tonight's results to see where we finish.

Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
Kaze Progressa 5 3 2 0 8 5 +3 11
Bettia 6 2 3 1 13 10 +3 9
Oliverry 5 2 3 0 9 6 +3 9
Hockey Canada 5 3 0 2 8 7 +1 9
The Archregimancy 5 2 1 2 7 6 +1 7
Ruventsoria 5 1 1 3 4 8 -4 4 E
PopularFreedom 5 0 0 5 11 18 -7 0 E

Today's fixture list reads like this: -
Archregimancy v Kaze Progressa (Dreamed Stadium)
Hockey Canada v Oliverry (Pantaleimon)
Ruventsoria v PopularFreedom (St. Sergius-Holy Trinity)
The Ruventsoria vs PopularFreedom is irrelevant - both teams have been eliminated and can't catch Bettia, so we must look to the other games for favourable results.

Obviously Bettia can't catch Kaze Progressa but The Archregimancy CAN catch us, so a win for Kaze Progressa or a draw would be ideal.

The other game sees Hockey Canada pitted against Oliverry - two teams equal on points with our beloved Aroras but trailing on goal difference / goals scored. A draw here would see both of them leapfrog Bettia so we're hoping for some sort of positive result from this matchup, meaning that only one of them will finish ahead of Bettia.

The entire nation is praying that these results will go in our favour, as these would mean Bettia would finish third in Group One. If not, a fifth placed finish could be on the cards, which would be rather disappointing considering Bettia have suffered just the single defeat to the only team ranked higher than them.

Will the Aroras still be playing a part in this competition? Only time will tell...

Technically, of Oliverry and HC tie and the Archregimancy wins, they all move ahead of Bettia, but Hockey Canada would be out considering that their goal difference would not change in an OLI-HC tie, while any Archregimancy win will put them at +2 or more and safely in the third position, so its not all that complicated in the end. I tried to make note of any GD issues, but staring at that chart for 30 minutes hashes my brain, so I'm sorry about any mistakes. I fixed the OLI-HC-ARC mixup, so that should now be accurate.

Oliverry gets publicity, wins against hosts...

OOC: YAY! I RP before the host. That gives me more RP bonus :p (j/k)

IC: In a very religious match(the other team tried to convert Oliverrian players), Oliverry won 2-0 against the Archregimancy. The first goal was scored very fastly, as the new player of Avidia FC, Gerard Laroche, scored at the 10th minute of the game. At the 26th, Jean-Alan Bellemort stopped a very fast shot by Fr. Nicholas the Hermit. He hurt himself on the play, but was healed by Archregimancian monks. At the 42nd minute, Jean St-Leon tried to score but a miraculous save from Fr. Justinian the Thrice-Blessed stop the menace. After the break, Yves Laroche got a penalty after an illegal conversion happened. He fulfilled it so he putted the score to 2-0. At the 57th minute this time. Sure, Oliverry didn't reply on defense, but they sent a forward in Midfield for the rest of the game, playing a 2-4-4. This led to the 2-0 victory.

Now, Oliverry will play Hockey Canada, their mighty south of the border rivals. Oliverry shall win to be recognized as a good soccer nation. And, it should happen, since Oliverry happened to be playing very good in the last days. As Hockey Canadian players seem to have drunk themself with Beer-flavoured water, Oliverry shoud win easily. We also hearn Jean Soqueure was with them last night

OOC: YAY! I RP before the host. That gives me more RP bonus :P (j/k)

OOC: I sooo wish that was true...maybe I would have won more than one match by this point if it was. :p

Alexandria Times-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Journal-Enquirer

Sports Section

Late goal puts Milchama in sweaty situation

A late goal by Hypocria center back Sergey Kreska sealed Milchama's second loss of the Cup of Harmony and put them in a precarious situation to qualify. After winning their first 3 matches convincingly the Warriors have started to stumble. While Coach Fairbanks was able to get rid of the first loss by saying that the Warriors were tired after beating our arch rivals the Lowland Clans, but today he offered no excuse saying, "We just were not good enough out there. We could have easily scored several other times but we just could not do it. I'll expect better from them tommorow."
Match Report:
A lot of our sports staff is in An Archy right now covering the Milchama baseball team and its 3 all-stars so here is a shortened match report:
The game started ok for the Warriors but they Hypocrian defense was all over them from the get go and they could not get far after getting the ball. Rintell was particularly damaged and gave up the ball in at the midfield line in the 22nd minute. This allowed striker Alex Liberda to go free. Liberda got fouled when he tried to pass Thompson. This allowed Marcus Baxter to take a beautiful free kick which found the back of the net to make it 1-0 Hypocria. This was the score at halftime. In the second half the Warriors started out well and should have scored in the 46th minute but Matt Bantin, who will start the rest of the cup, missed high with his header. The Warriors again should have knotted the game up in the 55th but Alex Derevko made a great diving save to stop Faren's shot from going in. Finally in the 62nd minute Marc J. Floren put the ball in the back of the net after a good solo run. Unfortunately after the goal the Milchamian attack seemed to stop again and they started to defend their own net under the increadsed Hyppo pressure. The pressure paid off in the 88th minute when Sammy Kreska scored on a corner kick header to win the game for the Hyppos 2-1.
Final Score:
Hypocria 2 (Baxter 23 Kreska 88)
Milchama 1 (Floren 62)

New Montreal Presse-Journal Devoir

PALADINS SPIN WHEELS AGAINST CASARI

Ari Saienz picks up lone goal for Casari to pick up a win at the Dome

NEW MONTREAL - In a markedly defensive contest last night at the Paladin Dome, Casari dealt the Paladins their first loss last night with a 1-0 performance.

"Our offense has been anemic all tournament," said manager William Branstone. "We need to turn that around if we're going to beat Milchama."

Milchama has been an offensive juggernaut, with 12 goals in 5 games, almost double the Paladins' total.

The first half was dominated by a scoreless draw that wasn't so much a product of good defense as it was of lousy offense. Ari Saienz keyed the only sustained offensive drive of the night, capping it with a header at 41 minutes in.

Branstone hasn't announced any sweeping changes to be made for the final game against national bugbear Milchama.

Speaking of final games, this brings us to the PLAYOFF PICTURE (dramatic music):

NMS - We're apparently in. Apparently. And a win gives us a bye. Apparently. Can we win? Maybe.

Lowland Clans - They're done, and can only hope for an NMS win or draw to get them to the playoffs.

Milchama - A win or draw would secure them a spot in the playoffs, as well as a draw by Casari and Harlesburg. Considering that we've never managed to beat these guys, they should be in without any problems.

Casari - Need a win, or a draw and a Milchama loss to get in. Not implausible, if they can get some momentum from last night's win against us.

Harlesburg - They must win to qualify. They might even end up in second if things go perfectly for them.

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

CUP OF HARMONY TONIGHT

With Fr. Nicholas the Scribe and Fr. John the Golden-Throated

"Are you as depressed as I am, Fr. John?"

"Deeply, blackly, truely, depressed Fr. Nicholas"

"Was that the worst Archregimancy performance you've ever seen?"

"I think it was. 2-0. At home. Our lads have come a long way in a very short time, but that was dismal. No disrespect to Oliverry, who played well enough, but, well, frankly that was an appalling display. The squad were in total disarray. If suffering is good for the soul, then our spirits have grown immeasurably overnight."

"And what's even more disappointing, Fr. John is that the loss came at such a crucial time in the tournament."

"Absolutely. We now have to win our final match against the vile Excelites of Kaze Progressa or we're out of our own tournament"

"Shall we take a quick look at last night's highlights?"

"Do we have to, Fr. Nicholas? Oh, all right then. Let's look at the lowlights. First Gerard Laroche scores for Oliverry in only the 10th minute. Take nothing away from Laroche, but the marking was terrible. I've never seen Fr. Dmitri look so distracted.

Then, after the break, the most controversial incident in the match... 57 minutes in, Oliverry claim a penalty was given for an 'illegal conversion'. Now, there's no such thing in the Archregimancy, of course. All conversions to the Holy Mother Church are entirely legal. What we have here is a misunderstanding. The penalty was given for Fr. Michael the Greater's tug on Yves Laroche in the penalty area. Laroche clearly believed that Fr. Michael was trying to pull him closer in order to discuss theology, when in fact Fr. Michael was merely trying to stop him from scoring. It's just a language issue. Unfortunately, the referee was aware of Fr. Michael's sin, and gave the penalty which Laroche duly converted. Entirely legally.

Opportunities for our lads were few and far between. Other than this blistering shot from Fr. Nicholas, which briefly left Bellemort writhing in pain, our lads were dreadful, and I understand that Coach Kyrill, Metropolitan of Solovetsky, has them all off on a 10k jog as penance."

"What about these Oliverrian claims that we were trying to convert their squad?"

"Another linguistic misunderstanding, Fr. Nicholas. We promised not to actively convert teams playing in the Archregimancy for this tournament, and we stand by that promise. Unfortunately, no one on the Oliverrian squad speaks Old Church Liturgic. Coach Kyrill was merely trying to use the tourist brochure handed out to each team to point out to the Oliverrians some of the more fascinating tourist sights in our beautiful nation. Most of these happen to be churches, and I think the Oliverrians mistook our coach's enthusiastic appreciation of the iconostasis in the Archregimand's private chapel as an attempt to convert the entire team on the spot."

"Ohhhhhh. I see."

"And now things come down to a simple equation... beat the Progressans - or go home. Or stay at home, since we're already at home, but you get the idea."

Drumroll please....

MATCHDAY 7

Why fuss over scores?
Whether win or lose you die.
All is transience



Group 1:

The Archregimancy 2 - 1 Kaze Progressa
Hockey Canada 4 - 2 Oliverry
Ruventsoria 3 - 1 PopularFreedom

Group winners
Qualified for playoffs
Eliminated from Tournament

Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
Hockey Canada 6 4 0 2 12 9 +3 12
Kaze Progressa 6 3 2 1 9 7 +2 11
The Archregimancy 6 3 1 2 9 7 +2 10
Bettia 6 2 3 1 13 10 +3 9
Oliverry 6 2 3 1 11 10 +1 9
Ruventsoria 6 2 1 3 7 9 -2 7
PopularFreedom 6 0 0 6 12 21 -9 0


Group 2:

Harlesburg 0 - 2 Casari
Hypocria 1 - 0 Praying2God
New Montreal States 1 - 1 Milchama

Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
Casari 6 3 2 1 10 7 +3 11
NMS 6 3 2 1 8 6 +2 11
Milchama 6 3 1 2 13 12 +1 10
Lowland Clans 6 3 0 3 12 10 +2 9
Hypocria 6 2 1 3 7 11 -4 7
Harlesburg 6 2 0 4 9 10 -1 6
Praying2God 6 1 2 3 11 14 -3 5



Playoffs:
Match A - Kaze Progressa v Milchama (Archregimancy)

Match B - New Montreal States v The Archregimancy (New Montreal States)

Semi Finals:
1 - Hockey Canada v winner of Playoff B (Archregimancy)

2 - Casari v winner of Playoff A (New Montreal States)

The 3rd place playoff and final are both in New Montreal States


OOC 1: Please, please check my tables for errors, and telegram me if you spot a mistake. I've done my best, but I'm only human, and with the groups so tight a mistake could be crucial.

OOC 2: there will be a 48 hour break before the beginning of the playoffs in order to both give time for roleplay and for us to ask a WCC member to scorinate Playoff B on our behalf.

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

CUP OF HARMONY LIVE


"Hello. I'm Fr. John the Golden-Throated, and welcome to tonight's crucial Cup of Harmony group match between co-hosts the Archregimancy and group 1 leaders Kaze Progressa, or, as we prefer to refer to them, the Vile Excelite Progressans. This is a crucial match, as anything short of a win will eliminate our lads from the tournament but - we think - a win would guarantee us a playoff spot on goal difference.

We met Kaze Progressa twice in World Cup qualifying, and the Progressans are fielding the same team of Hell-bound heathens we faced in that tournament....

"...the kickoff. And straightaway the Heathen Excelites attack. Yuveko... Bytor... Jituvek... a cross to Olog, and.... Olog scores! Less than two minutes into the match, and Kaze Progressa take the lead. Disaster beckons, and the entire ground goes quiet as the fans brace themselves for a long night of soul-strengthening suffering."


"...20 minutes in, and it's all Kaze Progressa. The Archregimancy are playing just as poorly as they did against Oliverry, and surely only a miracle can save them now as - oh my - Fr. Justinian once again pulls off a miraculous game-saving tip round the post"


"...halftime. A drab, dreary, pathetic performance by the footballing fathers, and but for Fr. Justinian, the Heathen Sinners would be 3-0 up. We're lucky it's just 1-0. Something _has_ to be done."


"...step out for the second half. And it looks as if Coach Kyrill has changed things around. Fr. Dmitri the Humble has been taken off, and Fr. Demetrius of the New City has come on, so we'll be playing 3-4-3 this second half, and let's hope that miracle the home fans have all been praying for comes to pass..."


"...65 minutes, and while this is a much improved second half performance, Ezkinsaay and Mazilik have been magnificent at the heart of the Hell-bound Sinners' defence. Nothing is getting through, and Hetujuk has barely had to make a save."


"...as we approach the 90 minute mark, wave after wave of Archregimancy attacks are now descending on the Heathen defence, but the Sinners are standing firm. The crowd are singing hallelujahs in magnificent harmony, trying to rouse the lads, but surely it's far too late now. The fourth official holds up the sign, and it's five minutes of time added on as Fr. Pavel wins another Archregimancy corner. He swings it in, and YES!!!! FR. DEMETRIUS SCORES!!!! THE ARCHREGIMANCY EQUALISE!!!! THANKS. BE. TO. GOD. But surely it's too late now? Surely they can't find a winner this late in the game?"

"..with the seconds ticking away, Fr. Andrew the Twice-Found wins what must surely be the final corner. There's only one team in it now. And everyone's pouring forward for what must be the very last attack of the match. Even goalkeeper Fr. Justinian has run to the edge of the Sinners' penalty area. Fr. Michael the Lesser sends it in again. Hetujuk punches it out, but only as far as Fr. Justinian, who sends in a shot, it's blocked on the line... AN ALMIGHTY SCRAMBLE... THE BALL HAS CROSSED THE LINE!!!! THE REFEREE BLOWS HIS WHISTLE!!! IT'S A GOAL!!! IT'S A GOAL!!! Fr. SILOUAN SOMEHOW NUDGES IT ACROSS THE LINE WITH THE VERY LAST KICK OF THE MATCH!!!! MIRACLES DO HAPPEN!!!"

"I'm out of breath, and lost for words - two goals in time added on, and the Archregimancy make the playoffs. God be praised. I've been Fr. John the Golden-Throated, and good-night"

The Archregimancy 2
Fr. Demetrius of the New City (90); Fr. Silouan of the Seventy Caves (90)

Kaze Progressa 1
Olog (2)

-----------------------------------

Later, back in the studio....

"What drama, Fr. John"

"I can scarcely believe it myself, Fr. Nicholas. Two goals in injury time. I've never seen anything quite like it - and never has the Holy Icon of the Mother of God, Bringer of Victories been so gratefully venerated. The problem is, that dramatic victory shouldn't hide the fact that the Heathen Excelites outplayed us for most of the game. It was only in the last 30 minutes or so that we really exerted consistent pressure"

"Are you worried then?"

"I am worried. We next have to play our co-hosts away from home, and New Montreal States have surprised a lot of people in this tournament. They have the joint second-highest points total. Meanwhile we've played badly for long stretches of the last two games"

"Do you see any hope?"

"Yes. NMS are a good team, but they don't score many goals. I think we have to attack from the start and exploit their potential inability to score."

"Let's look at the final tables..."

Group 1:


Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
Hockey Canada 6 4 0 2 12 9 +3 12
Kaze Progressa 6 3 2 1 9 7 +2 11
The Archregimancy 6 3 1 2 9 7 +2 10
Bettia 6 2 3 1 13 10 +3 9
Oliverry 6 2 3 1 11 10 +1 9
Ruventsoria 6 2 1 3 7 9 -2 7
PopularFreedom 6 0 0 6 12 21 -9 0

"Well, Bettia and Oliverry will both be desperately disappointed there, Fr. Nicholas, but you have to say that all those draws really scuppered their chances. Not losing is good. Winning is better. Ruventsoria will also be unhappy - they couldn't score in a brothel - and they'll no doubt be looking to make changes for the World Cup. PopularFreedom scored goals. Freely. But their defence was leakier than a New Orleans levee. At the other end of the table, Hockey Canada sort of snuck up on all of us in the last couple of games, and ended up as the top points-taker in the first round - though at the same time we always expected them to be there. Kaze Progressa are an enigma - a very long football tradition with a very short list of football accomplishments. I just wonder if we're not beginning to see a turn of the Progressan tide here. And finally ourselves. While our shaky form in the last three games almost saw us throwing a play-off position away, I think we should be happy with third. We've made the next round, and anything that happens after this will be a bonus - though through God all things are possible"


"And group 2?"


Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
Casari 6 3 2 1 10 7 +3 11
NMS 6 3 2 1 8 6 +2 11
Milchama 6 3 1 2 13 12 +1 10
Lowland Clans 6 3 0 3 12 10 +2 9
Hypocria 6 2 1 3 7 11 -4 7
Harlesburg 6 2 0 4 9 10 -1 6
Praying2God 6 1 2 3 11 14 -3 5

Well, this has to be the group of surprises. Harlesburg and Lowland Clans _both_ failed to make the second round - something which none of us had predicted before the tournament, though Harlesburg seemed to be strangely disengaged from things. Perhaps a loss of concentration let them down? We all felt desperately sorry for Hypocria, who were the little Hyppos who almost could - how ironic that they actually started winning only after it was too late. Praying2God were arguably unlucky, and certainly didn't disgrace themselves. At the pointy end, Casari finishing top is surely a shock. They suddenly came good at the end, which raises the question of whether the more you drink over the course of the tournament, the better you get. New Montreal States, like us, had a wobble towards the end, but will, like us, be fairly happy they made the playoffs. And then there's Michama - written off by just about everyone before the tournament began, they then found that they felt the love, and used that to inspire themselves to an unlikely play-off spot."

"And the playoffs themselves, Fr. John?"

"Hmmmm. I'd pick the Progressans to pip Milchama, and - much as it pains me to admit it - our friends in NMS to beat us. After that, I think Hockey Canada should account for NMS, and I'd pick Kaze Progressa to get past Casari. Which would give us a Hockey Canada - Kaze Progressa final, and there I'd pick Hockey Canada. They're the form team, the only team to win four games in the group stage, and on that basis I think they'll come good in the end."

"Thank you, Fr. John, and goodnight!"

2005-09-28

Harbour Sharks disgrace nation at Harmony Cup.
Poor coaching decisions, horrible play by inept forwards main cause of embarassment.

INTERNATIONAL REPORT - The Harbour Sharks finally finished the Harmony Cup with another loss this time against Ruventsoria. Questions will be being asked about the entire organization as the Sharks head into the Pearson Cliffs Football Association (PCFA) league this upcoming November with this horrible outing weighting them down. Fans are already questioning the coaching of Jesse Rathlingburg. Star forward Roy Biblia also is under the microscope so it should make for an interesting PCFA season.

In yesterday's match Biblia missed two easy shots which should have been goals which could have been the difference. Midfielder Thomas Vincent incidentally had the only goals for our boys as they lost again 3-1.

Hockey Canadian Predictions

Kaze Progressa v Milchama

Well this one is going to go right down to the wire featuring two very formidible teams. Kaze Progressa nearly tripped at the finish line giving up their first-place spot with a loss to The Archregimancy while the Canucks took advantage with a 4-2 win over Oliverry. Milchama on the other hand had a struggle in the last few games only to get in by one point. Milchama's offense can get some work done but not without sacrificing a few goals themselves. Kaze Progressa and Milchama can but the ball in the net, only with the struggle of other teams putting it in theirs.

Predicted Score:
Kaze Progressa- 4
Milchama- 3

New Montreal States v The Archregimancy

Seeing how it's host against host, we'd better not point out any possible flaws in both teams. New Montreal States dominated for much of the round-robin but not with The Archregimancy dominating for the early part of the tournement but seemed to lose their touch as it progressed. Nevertheless- both teams did deserve to be here. Unfortunately for them, only one must proceed through to the semi-finals to play against Hockey Canada.

Prediction:
New Montreal States- 1
The Archregimancy- 1
(The Archregimancy wins 5-4 in PK)

Hockey Canada v The Archregimancy

This one will be a beauty to watch folks; we have experienced Hockey Canada against upstart hosts The Archregimancy. The defensive Canucks will be pressing for the early goal to defend the rest of the game while The Archregimancy will be pressing the Hockey Canadian defence all game. Thomas scored in a somewhat miracle goal last game against The Archregimancy last game giving the Canucks a close win. This game may not have it miracles- unless The Archregimancy gets god on their side (which they usually do anyway).

Predicted Score:
Hockey Canada- 2
The Archregimancy- 1
(Sorry Archregimancy, were denied last CoH to Nedalia, now we're pissed.)

Casari v Kaze Progressa

We have another game that'll feature a tight scoreline and teams that know almost too much of each other. Casari did get some offence going in their round-robin but Kaze Progressa did more than their fair share of scoring. Casari has also shown that they can defend very well but once again Kaze Progressa can do likewise. This game will have some goals on both ends but may go into Penalty Kicks.

Predicted Score:

Casari- 2
Kaze Progressa- 2

Kaze progressa wins 4-3 in PK

Casaran Broadcasting Alliance
Because we're too drunk to report right now

Shooting the moon
The upset pick to just qualify find their way to first

Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
Casari 6 3 2 1 10 7 +3 11
NMS 6 3 2 1 8 6 +2 11
Milchama 6 3 1 2 13 12 +1 10
Lowland Clans 6 3 0 3 12 10 +2 9
Hypocria 6 2 1 3 7 11 -4 7
Harlesburg 6 2 0 4 9 10 -1 6
Praying2God 6 1 2 3 11 14 -3 5

Doesn't that just say it all?

A skillfully played game against Harlesburg with goals by Ronalo and Newberry in the first half left the Casaran fans who had travelled to the game unwilling to leave their seats until the final scoreline came from the NMS-MIL game.

And they were thankful when it did.

The usual scene of riots from defeats turned into a celebration which wound it's way around the city all night long.

Ronalo scored forst in the 34th minute, after a questionable corner kick call on a errant shot that the Harlesburgian goalkeeper had barely managed to brush out of the way. On the kick, Ronalo managed to appear on top of the scrum in front of goal to head one in.

Newberry's goal, a breakaway off a long goal kick in first half injury time lead Casari to the halftime lead. From there, the defensive four kept the ball away from net in what amounted to a reletively easy game for Rooney.

At that point Casari had secured their qualification for the finals, and the lucky result of the NMS-Milchama game left the Confeds in first.

"This definately shows the benefit of hard work. We slipped off the wagon in the middle, but with a strong finish we put ourselves in the catbird seat for the rest of this competition."

Later today we'll take a more in-depth look at the playoffs and how much farther we'll go in the final competition of our first international campaign.

An agonising - and cynics would say fixed - 2-1 defeat to The Archregimacy forced the Progressans off top spot in the group, leaving them to face the goal-crazy Milchama for the right to face surprise Group 2 winners Casari in the semi-finals.

Both goals came in injury time, the second from the last kick of the game, after Nonbi Olog had headed in a Jituvek cross in only the second minute. Several fine saves from Friar Justinian were all that kept home hopes alive, but as the match entered five minutes of stoppage time those hopes seemed dead. But Friar Demetrius scored from a corner in the first of those five minutes, and Friar Silouan scrambled an unlikely winner in the fifth. The hosts will now qualify for the knockout rounds and will now face co-hosts New Montreal States - away from home.

'I should have seen that coming, to be honest,' sighed Olog after the game. 'That's just the way it is, and whether there really were five minutes of injury time is another matter. But we were already through, so maybe we were complacent. But now we have to play a match we really shouldn't have had to face.'

OOC note 1: I'd offer my services as a scorinator for the NMS-Archregimancy game, but as I'm still in the competition I'm very biased.
OOC note 2: At first, when I saw that you'd won 2-1 with two injury-time goals, I thought your RP was going to be a reprise of Manchester United v Bayern Munich or France v England - probably the latter given how early the Progressan goal was. Am pleased to see that it was more original than that. ICly, we are rivals. OOCly, I wish you the best of luck.

Hyppos End on a High


It’s no fun being a Hypocria supporter, it really isn’t. One point from the first four games was not exactly reason to be cheerful, even if that single point did come against eventual group winners Casari. It left the Hyppos rock bottom and needing a miracle to qualify. It was just like the World Cup qualifiers. And just like the qualifiers, just when there was nothing left to play for, we started winning. First the victory over Milchama and then . . .

Hypocria 1 - 0 Praying2God
Shirko

In fairness it was a result that brought plenty of satisfaction. "Bottom feeders" is how the P2G media had described the Hyppos so imagine the delight when Andrei Shirko’s strike lifted Hypocria off the foot of the table to be replaced by none other than Praying2God. It makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside. Hypocria were playing for pride alone and they managed to reclaim a small piece by eventually finishing in fifth.

“It was a poor campaign but at least we ended with a flourish”, outgoing coach Michael de Winter said. “We had never won a Cup of Harmony match before so at least we got that monkey off our back.”

In the final round of matches Casari stole top spot after their 2 - 0 win over Harlesburg and the 1 - 1 draw between nearest challengers the New Montreal States and Milchama. The final Group 2 table was not without surprises as none of the none of the three highest ranked sides qualified. Harlesburg, the Lowland Clans and the Hyppos all failing to make it into the knockout stages.

Group 2 P W D L F A GD Pts
Casari 6 3 2 1 10 7 +3 11
NMS 6 3 2 1 8 6 +2 11
Milchama 6 3 1 2 13 12 +1 10
Lowland Clans 6 3 0 3 12 10 +2 9
Hypocria 6 2 1 3 7 11 -4 7
Harlesburg 6 2 0 4 9 10 -1 6
Praying2God 6 1 2 3 11 14 -3 5


In the Archregimancy, Hockey Canada took top spot after the Canucks beat Oliverry 4 - 2 and previous leaders Kaze Progressa lost to the hosts, 2 - 1. In the other game Ruventsoria beat PopularFreedom 3 - 1 ensuring that the Sharks go home with six defeats out of six.

Group 1 P W D L F A GD Pts
Hockey Canada 6 4 0 2 12 9 +3 12
Kaze Progressa 6 3 2 1 9 7 +2 11
The Archregimancy 6 3 1 2 9 7 +2 10
Bettia 6 2 3 1 13 10 +3 9
Oliverry 6 2 3 1 11 10 +1 9
Ruventsoria 6 2 1 3 7 9 -2 7
PopularFreedom 6 0 0 6 12 21 -9 0
Now Hypocria’s players are heading home to rest and recuperate ahead of the upcoming World Cup qualifying campaign. It was at this point that we were going to throw our support firmly behind those Aroras from Bettia. Unfortunately Bettia suffered the cruel fate of being eliminated without even kicking a ball in anger. So instead we will be offering up a little prayer for those nice monks from the Archregimancy.

Casari Broadcasting Alliance
Because Ochem is messing up my life

We make a halfhearted attempt to pick winners!
All picks wrong or your money back
Gregg Wilson, Sports Editor

Well, it's time to put out some perdictions for the finals of the Cup of Harmony. Persionally, I'm hoping we're not too far wrong on this, but that's just me.

Quarterfinal One
Kaze Progressa vs. Milchama

Team Records
Kaze Progressa P W D L F A GD Pts Result
Cup of Harmony 6 3 2 1 9 7 +2 11 2nd, Group 1
World Cup 14 4 2 8 16 23 -7 14 5th, Group 10

Milchama P W D L F A GD Pts Result
Cup of Harmony 6 3 1 2 13 12 +1 10 3rd, Group 2
World Cup 14 4 4 6 17 25 -8 16 5th, Group 1
Most people are picking Kaze Progressa in this game. It's going to be extremely close, but I'm going to have to agree. I wouldn't put money on it though. Milchama has been a wild card the whole tournement, and because of that, you con't be sure of the result.

Quarterfinal Two
New Montreal States vs. The Archregimancy

Team Records
New Montreal States P W D L F A GD Pts Result
Cup of Harmony 6 3 2 1 8 6 +2 11 2nd, Group 2
World Cup 14 4 5 5 16 24 -8 17 5th, Group 3

The Archregimancy P W D L F A GD Pts Result
Cup of Harmony 6 3 1 2 9 7 +2 10 3rd, Group 1
World Cup 14 6 3 5 18 22 -4 21 3rd, Group 10
Lost Playoff round to Nedalia
While New Montreal States may be on some better form and have home field advantage in the host battle, I'm taking the Archregimancy in this one. NMS has slight problems getting the goals, and a good offensive effort will have the Archregimancy on it's way.

Semifinal One
Hockey Canada vs. New Montreal States/The Archregimancy

Team Records
Hockey Canada P W D L F A GD Pts Result
Cup of Harmony 6 4 0 2 12 9 +3 12 1st, Group 1
World Cup 14 4 6 4 23 19 +4 18 5th, Group 12
Hockey Canada has the wins and the form. They're an easy pick.

Semifinal Two
Casari vs. Kaze Progressa/Milchama

Team Records
Casari P W D L F A GD Pts Result
Cup of Harmony 6 3 2 1 10 7 +3 11 1st, Group 2
World Cup 14 6 3 5 21 21 0 21 4th, Group 5
Close. Really close. But honestly, we can't pick KP over ourselves in a close game. Casarans may be drunk and riotous, but we're not modest.

Cup Final
Hockey Canada vs. Casari

Ok, I get it. It's kind of presumptious to have us beating someone like Kaze Progressa in Semi Two. But we're not going to beat Hockey Canada. It will take some pretty srtong mushrooms to get us to take ourselves in that matchup. 3-0 or 4-0 to Hockey Canada, Cup of Harmony Winners.

New Montreal Presse-Journal Devoir

- Pg. 3, Patriarch to send invitations to AIF for joint liturgy before game
- Pg. 4, Probable traffic jams and riot sites

1-1 PERFORMANCE AGAINST MILCHAMA GIVES PALADINS SECOND

At least we didn't lose again

NEW MONTREAL - William Branstone was nonplussed last night after the Paladins failed to protect a 1-0 lead against the Warriors of Milchama. "At least Tyler Johns has his form back," said Branstone.

The offense has been a major stumbling block for the Paladins since switching to an all-mime squad, who scored 5 goals in their final 5 games. "We're going to have to step it up for the playoffs," said Branstone. "The Archregimancy believes that suffering is good for the soul, and their offense is capable of dishing out suffering a-plenty. Blanker and Johns have not been pulling their weight this tournament, and it will cost us dearly if we can't turn it around against the Archregimancy."

Johns picked up the first goal of the match at 29 minutes in off a corner, putting it just outside the reach of a diving Milchaman keeper. The Paladins offense showed some signs of momentum after that, but was quickly shut down and went into halftime fighting to protect a 1-0 lead.

After the end of the half, the game shifted into the Paladins third. When midfielder Kirk Roy, playing back, tackled a Milchaman forward in the box, the ref decided, for some arbitrary reason, that Roy had been aiming for his opponents eyes. Footage of the match showed no reason for this call, but the penalty kick went ahead anyway, and the game was at 1-all. Both sides had lackluster offensive rallies that would have left fans yawning their way home - if so much wasn't hanging on the outcome of this match.

Chi Sun-Times-Tribune-Star-News-Today

Sports Section

Milchama advance! Faren's penalty enough for draw

J.J. Faren's beautifully converted penalty in the 63rd minute was enough to give Milchama a draw and advancement into the next round. Coach Jonathan Fairbanks said, "We're in that is all that matters. Sure we did not beat New Montreal States but we were on the road which is a handicap for us. If it was a neutral I think we would have won." In a quick side note the Lowland Clans did not get into the next round HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Match Report:
The Warriors started the game off with a huge over confidence streak seeing as how our U21 side demolished theirs 6-2. This unfortunately led to some mishmashed attacking as after a good run Darian Flinters cross was wide of Matt Bantin. Then in the 23rd minute the Warriors should have struck first as Billy Timmons made a perfect thru pass too Marc J. Floren. Unfortunately, Floren missed the pass and it went out of bounds. These mistakes would be devastating in the 29th minute as on a cornerkick Tyler Johns put a header just out of the reach of Tuck Koolerc to make it 1-0 NMS. The Warriors again should have scored in stoppage time but the New Montreal Stater goalie made a good save. Halftime score NMS 1-0 Milchama.
Second Half Report:
The second half was very similar to the first half as the Warriors continued to attack but were again stopped more by their own insolence and stupidity then by the NMS defense. In the 55th minute on another ho hum attack Marc J. Floren was tackled by Kirk Roy in the box. Although the replays looked like it was clean the ref listened to the appeals of the MilchamIans (there is an i there NMS) and awarded a penalty kick. J.J. Faren stepped up to the spot and put the kick in beautifully to make it 1 all. After the Warriors they seemed to stop attacking as much and the Paladins could not get the ball away enough to make a sustained attack which led to some very boring karelan midfield play. Finally in the 82nd the Paladins had another chance but that was stopped by Kendric Pevington. That was all there was.
Final Score:
Milchama 1 (Faren pen 56)
New Montreal States (Johns 29)

Tel Morlin Archeological-Picayune-Dispatch-Telegram-Update-Daily-Sun-News-Today-Oli

Sports Section

The infamous Milchamian predictions for CoH 16

The Milchamian press is at it again pumping out non stop predictions for what will happen in the 16th Cup of Harmony out rounds. Since this is one of the more realistic papers Prime Minister Liam Horowitz has asked that we be the ones to supply our predictions internationally.

Quater Finals:
Kaze Progressa vs. Milchama- Our pesky side can do many things but beating the Progressans will be a tough task espiecially with the probable hostile crowd in the Archregimancy (Milchamians are mostly Jewish) and a tough team that should have had first place in the group. Despite all that as everybody knows we are not modest and we still win only by one goal 5-4.
NMS vs. Archregimancy- The game of the hosts in New Montreal States. The Paladins can play ok but they are NMS and we don't that they can beat team like the Archregimancy who were one stoppage time goal away from being in the World Cup. Archregimancy wins on the road 3-1.
Semi Finals:
Hockey Canada vs. Milchama- Our run ends here as the defensive Hockey Canadians stop our shots and score 1 or 2 of their own. Our prediction is that we get crushed Karelan style 2-0.
Casari vs. Archregimancy- The Monks go on to the final as they beat the drunks from Casari easily. While the Casarians are good they are not great and we beat them but we don't think we can beat the Archregimancy so its easy. The score will be 2-1 the Archregimancy.
3rd Place Game:
Milchama takes 3rd. (We just had to add that little bit)
Final:
Hockey Canada vs. Archregimancy- The Hockey Canadians take this in a close and tightly contested match 1-0.

In short Hockey Canada wins, The Archregimancy takes second, Milchama sneak in 3rd and Casari slips to fourth.

OOC: Bedistan has kindly scorinated the New Montreal States / Archregimancy play-off game and has telegrammed it to me.

It's NMS's turn to post results, so I've e-mailed the result to NMS, who will hopefully post the play-off results later today.

Apologies to all concerned for this minor logistical delay, but I'm sure you all see the necessity of getting a neutral party to scorinate the match.

And many thanks to Kaze Progressa for offering to scorinate the game, but we didn't want to see the Archregimancy losing 15-0 ;)

Kaze Progressa vs. Milchama- Our pesky side can do many things but beating the Progressans will be a tough task espiecially with the probable hostile crowd in the Archregimancy (Milchamians are mostly Jewish) and a tough team that should have had first place in the group. Despite all that as everybody knows we are not modest and we still win only by one goal 5-4.


The Archregimancy would like to reassure Milchama that they will not be subjected to discrimination while playing matches in the Archregimancy.

True, we hold the Orthodox Church to be the one true Church, but we also recognise Judaism's important role as the precursor of Christianity. Let's not forget that Our Lord and Saviour was circumcised according to Mosaic law. Furthermore, unlike Mel Gibson, we don't necessarily take that bit about "his blood be upon us and upon our Children" in Matthew's gospel as giving us an excuse to launch the occasional pogrom. And we're awfully, awfully sorry for those several centuries where our Russian brethren did.

And the playoff results:

Kaze Progressa 2 - 0 Milchama

New Montreal States 2 - The Archregimancy 1 (scorinated by Bedistan)

Giving us:

Hockey Canada vs. NMS at The Archregimancy
Casari vs. Kaze Progressa at New Montreal States

OOC: Will games be scorinated on the weekend? Because it'll be fine with me on weekdays.

Games will probably be scorinated on the weekend, TG Archregimancy for exact times (it's his show for the semis, since I obviously can't scorinate my own game).

Canucks face New Montreal States in semis

Well the game watched was a good one, but who could have predicted New Montreal States to play the victor over Archregimancy? The game was long and hard for both teams but only one could emerge victorious. That team my friend was New Montreal States with a 2-1 win over the holy hosts. Early shots on net for both teams saw close action as The Archregimancy seemed to have God on their side in the opening half. Shots being guided mysteriously to other Archregimancian (is that right?) players while New Montreal States' fans somehow having flaming tongues of fire over their heads gave an impression there was another godly being in the stadium.

Hockey Canada on the other hand is training hard for their next game. The semi-final game surely won't be a walk in the park for the Canucks- especially since New Montreal States pulled off a somewhat upset. The Patriotes and Canucks... here's the overview of the Hockey Canadian team in a rare release:

Goaltending:

Though goaltending has been a little shakey for the Hockey Canadians in this cup, the Canucks will keep Thomas in net. Thomas has seen many games in semi-finals as well as finals- whether it be Under 21 World Cup, Cup of Harmony or World Cup Qualifying, Thomas has been solid and looks like a future Hall of Famer. Marx would be the top choice for the Canucks after Thomas. Marx played in the last 3 games of the round-robin to get in some playing time and could prove himself very well. He's caught in the shadow...

Defence:

Both Kulkarni and Perrault have improved after a shakey start to the round-robin. Kulkarni is only 2 goals ahead of Perrault in the all-time scoring race while Perrault is on a scoring drought. Both players are the heart of a wall-like defence that pleases the Catholic God as well as the Karelan Gods. Other players like Srylanko and Cugno have experience but can't seem to match up to the two defenders' skill.

Midfield:

Brought up as an issue at the beginning of the cup, the Hockey Canadian midfield played horrible in the opener against Kaze Progressa. Though they improved much more as the tournement wore on- which kind of midfielders will show up for the next two games (finals or 3rd place)? The early midfielders or the later midfielders?

Forwards:

Mike Ko isn't having any trouble up on forward for the Hockey Canadians. He's scoring goals up front while preventing them in the back. One of the few players on the Hockey Canada squad to have a stellar Cup, Ko doesn't look like Steve Vaughn will be replacing him for a while.

The Hockey Canadian team even used their much-needed break to visit all over Grand Lavra, visited the mountain hermitages where some players and their kids looked in wonder at the massive structures, and also saw the majestic Holy Chapel where cameras were flashing in the chapel more than in the stadium. Unusual for the communist Hockey Canadian government to allow such trips, it was deemed "ok" by team management.

The mandate for the canucks is rather simple: win it all. They were even farther last year when they lost to Nedalia 1-0 in the finals. Controversy on some of the players followed but nothing else was of the sort. Tourists and players were forbidden to leave hotel rooms with the condition of games. Now however the government is easing up slightly on fans and players giving them a chance to enjoy the tournement.

It's all up to us now- Hockey Canada vs. New Montreal States. A victory getting us into the next round? Or a loss putting us in 3rd or 4th in disgrace. We'll all know eventually.

Casari Broadcasting Authority
Where the tenson has someone puking every 10 minutes on the nose

Upcoming game against Kaze Progressa has everyone going mad
It's more grating than listening to Richard Hammond

It's time for Casari's first ever Semifinal in anything.

That's right. Let that wave of fear pass over you, and when you're ready, keep reading.

Ok?

Good.

Tomorrow's game against Kaze Progressa will be either a tough played match where both teams will grind against each other for 90 minutes or a rout. And odds are it won't be a rout in our favor.

"We're at a definate disadvantage in experience, skill, and probably every other thing you could imagine." Goalkeeper Salvidore Rooney said to the accumulated press. So fat this year he has played in every International Match for Casari, with good results on the most part.

The same goes for forward Andy Ronalo, the core and spirit of the Casaran offense. He said, "It will be an uphill struggle. But we've watched them play and have read all our scouting reports on their games, and we're hoping we can perdict what they'll do well enough to give us the edge."

Tomorrow's preliminary lineup has already been announced.

34 Salvidore Rooney

D 18 Jay Letra D 21 Masahiro Noda
D 10 Steven MacLellan D 11 Eddie Oliver

M 4 Calvin Eskan M 15 Alberto Larini M 26 Robbie Archer

F 9 Mike Newberry F 44 Andy Ronalo F 3 Ari Saienz

With no shocks in the proposed lineup, we have to wonder if the actual lineup was anounced, or if it was just a bit of posturing on the part of GM/C Hill. When asked, she had this to say.

"We'll see a great game tomorrow. Possibly a classic. And we don't really know what the result will be."

A superb defensive performance and two goals from Nonbi Olog saw the Progressans into the Cup of Harmony semi-finals, defeating Milchama 2-0.

The Milchamans, as expected, played an attacking style. What wasn't expected was the excellent defending from the Progressans, crowding out Milchama's creative players. As the Milchamans poured forward, they were left exposed at the back, and on 36 minutes a swift counter-attack freed Tiakosuv, who shot straight at Kendrik Pevington only for the rebound to fall directly to Olog, who couldn't miss.

On the hour, JJ Faren's header from a corner hit the crossbar, which was as close as Milchama were ever going to get despite having almost 60% of the possession and a clear territorial advantage. The Progressans soaked up the pressure and again caught Milchama out on 69 minutes, Olog receiving a long ball with nobody else near him before chipping the onrushing Pevington. Milchama appealed for offside but the referee rejected it, for Olog was in his own half when the ball was played.

Casari are next and an even match is anticipated. 'We'll have to get more of the ball, and if we do that and also defend the way we have here then I think we'll win it,' said Olog. 'This wasn't a perfect performance, in truth it was a pretty ugly Karelan performance, but it worked and it frustrated them - and that's where the goals came from.'

PALADINS OVERCOME CO-HOSTS

Slight confusion in Hockey Canada as to our name expected to be resolved shortly

THE GRAND LAVRA - Our cohosts and fellow Orthodox Christians the Archregimancy fell before the PALADINS (not Patriotes) 2-1 at the replica of Melbourne Cricket Grounds in the Grand Lavra.

The Paladins defied conventional wisdom, with all major foreign news outlets confidently predicting a cropper for the Paladins. Instead, God opted to provide victory to the 1.5 billions Orthodox citizens of NMS instead of the several million monks of the Archregimancy, with the midfield carrying the offense on their backs.

The monks rocketed past the mimes in the first half, with the ball in NMS's third for 15 of the first 20 minutes. Fr. Polycarp the Venerable launched a missile that knocked out keeper Jose Theodore and flew into the net. The goal stood, after some debate as to whether Theodore hit the ground before the ball crossed the line. Roomate and co-captain Tyler Johns mimed out his opinion on Theodore's injury, which was either "divine justice for fornication" or "already kind of woozy after getting hit in the head by a falling lamp this morning."

The midfield then took control, bringing the ball out of the Paladin's side and then into the Archregimancy's, ending with Kirk Roy sending one past a diving Fr. Justinian the Thrice-Blessed. The half ended at 1-all, with some slight confusion in the stands as monks chanted the Doxology in greek while visiting NMSers, recognizing the melody but not the words, starting singing it in French.

The Paladins midfield picked up where it left off at the start of the second half, driving deep into Archregimancy territory. Midfielder Derick Castelmann picked up his first goal of the tournament on a pass from foward Tyler Johns. The defense then stepped up, blunting a determined Archregimancy attack time and time again, with Maurice Bouchard stepping in for a still-groggy Theodore and making seven saves in the half, including a spectacular diving save that left Fr. Nicholas the Hermit calling for a red card for violation of the eighth commandment.

Looking ahead to the upcoming game with Hockey Canada, several problems confront the Paladins:

- Jose Theodore. Both he and his doctors have said that he'll be good to go, but this isn't the first mishap he's had this tournament.

- The forwards. Both of them have slumped through the entire tournament. Tyler Johns has recovered somewhat in the past two games, but Gordon Blanker seems to be doing an excellent impression of an irregulary shaped 8000-lb. object.

- The fact that Hockey Canada is much higher ranked than we are. Not much we can do there.

HC seems to be having it much easier than we are, and they also just had a nice rest. So we're planning for the 3rd-place game right now.

OOC: To everybody it is Milchamians with an I not Milchamans with no I.

Alexandria Times-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Journal-Enquirer

Sports Section

Progressan defense to good as Milchama get shut out

Milchama again lost in an elimination round. This time it was not the U21s though but the national team that lost in the quarter finals of the Cup of Harmony 2-0 to Kaze Progressa. Despite overall dominance of the game including 60% of the possesion the Milchamians could not get one goal past the Proggresan defense and goalie to lose 2-0. Coach Jonathan Fairbanks said, "We should have scored at least one goal in this game. This game was like the beginning of World Cup qualification all over again. Getting chances and blowing them we had 4 good chances to score at least one goal and could not score that goal." Instead of a match report because its frankly depressing this newspaper will give you the 5 good Milchamian chances.
Chance 1 28th minute: Timmons with the ball looking forward and passes it to Rintell who jukes past one defender before getting the ball to Faren on the wing. J.J. Faren on the wing crosses it RIGHT TO MARC J. FLOREN! ALL ALONE HE SHOOTS!!!!!!!!!!! Saved by Progressan keeper good save there should have been a goal.
Chance 2 First half stoppage time: Milchama desperately trying to find an equalizer before the break. They give the ball to Flinters looking for a spark and he seems to have found it as he goes Past 1, Past 2 defenders Passes the ball off to Timmons WHO SHOOTS KEEPER FROZEN!!!!!!! To high should have been 1 all after that shot great chance there can't miss those.
Chance 3 60th minute: A corner now for the Warriors. Timmons to take it and he swings it in and Faren gets a head on it PAST THE KEEPER!!!! Hits the crossbar not much there. About 18 inches lower and its 1-1.
Chance 4 80th minute:Timmons who has done very well in this game now comes up again. Makes a pass on the wing to Feders who just came in two minutes ago. Tuck Feders still with the ball and crosses it into the box for Matt Bantin AT THE SIX YARD BOX HIS HEADER over the bar. They needed that one bad a goal there and maybe the Warriors could have tied it up.
Second half stoppage time: Timmons passes it way forward trying to find Flinters but the Progressan keeper is there to stop that pass and he clears down the field. The ref has blown his whistle that's the game Kaze Progressa moves onto the semi finals.
Final Score:
Kaze Progressa 2 (Olog 36,69)
Milchama 0 (we got shutout goddamnit)

OOC: sincere apologies to everyone for the delay in posting Cup of Harmony semifinal results. RL intervened, and with NMS unable to scorinate his own game, I couldn't hand control over to him. Rather than delay things further with an RP over my loss to NMS, let's get straight on to the results...


SEMIFINAL SCORES


Semi-final 1 (Archregimancy): Hockey Canada v. New Montreal States

90 minutes: Hockey Canada 4 - 4 New Montreal States
AET: Hockey Canada 5 - 5 New Montreal States
Pens: Hockey Canada 4 - 3 New Montreal States (HC: 11011 NMS: 01110)

[ooc: any local Archregimancy supporters at the match will have been cheering loudly for fellow Orthodox nation New Montreal States]


Semi-final 2 (NMS): Casari v. Kaze Progressa

90 minutes: Casari 0 - 0 Kaze Progressa
AET: Casari 1 - 0 Kaze Progressa



Which means the two group winners meet in the final - congratulations to Hockey Canada and Casari.

And the third place game will feature New Montreal States playing at home against Kaze Progressa

Casari Broadcasting Alliance
Passing out at the start of Extra Time is SO not cool.

Casari fights past Kaze Progressa with shock extra time goal
To Face Hockey Canada in nation's first cup final

The unbelieveable run that Casaran Soccer has taken in it's rookie international campaign has resulted in a Cup of Harmony final date with the infinately more experienced Hockey Canada.

"Right now, we're a bit overwhelmed." GM/C Hill said to assorted members of the press.

The lone goal was scored by Center Half Alberto Larini during extra time after a hard fought game where neither team could dig out a clear advantage.

"This is one of those wins that we can truly be proud of." Ronalo said after the match. "We fought it out, every single part of the team played well, we had a few close calls but so did they, and in the end, we got the result after 2 hours of play."

Thoughts on tomorrow's Hockey Canada match has taken a cautiously optimistic note. "It could be close. Or it could be a fullscale slaughter." Wing Mike Newberry said. "We've played and won close games against stronger teams before, and played and gotten killed against stronger teams before."

When asked for a closing remark, Coach Hill replied with:

"It's been a bit of an upset season. And we'll see if it'll be more of an upset season soon. After all, what did the Lowland Clans say?"

Martin Cloteau: Hello, this is the Paladin Sports Network's coverage of the Cup of Harmony semi-finals, and we're broadcasting live from The Archregimancy. I'm Martin Cloteau.

Rene Lafontaine: And I'm Rene Lafontaine. Today your Paladins will face off against Hockey Canada here at the Grand Lavra. The big question is whether or not an offense that has been anemic at best can contend with a group-winning defense?

Martin: There's the catch. New manager William Branstone has swapped Gordon Blanker with Kirk Roy, putting Blanker into the midfield. Roy has been the Paladin's best offensive player so far, and Branstone reported that yesterday's practice with Roy up front was "encouraging."

Rene: We'll see how close to the truth these claims are, right after these messages.

-------

Rene: ...causing him to completely lose his marbles, it would seem. Roy charging forward, looks like this will start off fast for the Paladins, passes to Johns...HE SHOOTS! Off the crossbar, THIBAULT HEADS IT IN! Alexandre Thibault comes from nowhere, heads it in, putting the Paladins up 1-0 10 minutes in.

Martin: That was pretty encouraging.

-------

Martin: ...and the bartender say, "That's not his wife, that's MY wife!"

Rene: While you were rambling some Hockey Canada player scored.

Martin: Oh. Looks like it's 1-all 22 minutes in.

-------

Rene: ...kicked off the squad after attending a Death Monkey concert and breaking curfew. Blanker intercepts the pass, brings it up, passes to Thibault, passes to Roy, Roy shoots...SCORES!

Martin: Certainly not boring, the last goal was only, what, 3 minutes ago?

-------

Rene: And as the clock ticks down the half, Derick Castelmann takes a desperation shot from midfield...and it looks like the HC goaltender started walking back a bit early there! 3-1 NMS as the first half ends!

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Martin: ...two ferrets and a Milchamian. And here comes the ref, looks like a yellow card on Langlier for that tackle. And that'll be a penalty shot for Hockey Canada.

Rene: Ko takes the shot...and that's 3-2 for the Paladins.

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Rene: Perron shoots, caught by the keeper Thomas, he kicks it downfield. Ko picks it up cleanly, passes to Vaughn...he shoots, it's off the post, Kulkarni charging, shoots it...off the tip of Theodore's glove, but it goes in anyway, it's now 3-all.

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Martin: ...almost as bad as Carrot Top on acid. It's getting really physical in HC territory, the refs seems to barely have this under control. Zimin takes Castelmann down in the box, that has to be, yes, that's a yellow card. Roy steps in for the shot, right past a diving Thomas, and the PALADINS HAVE THE LEAD!

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Martin: not that you'd be able to tell after all he's been through.

Rene: Kulkarni blazing up the center, he's been amazing tonight, but time is running out on Hockey Canada. He passes to...who left Ko open in the corner? That's a easy goal for the Canucks, and it looks like overtime.

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Martin: ...tenser than a cat on meth. The Canucks clear the ball, Vaughn recovers it, drives it up, passes to Kulkarni, back to Vaughn who one-times it off the post. Crap. That'll be 5-4 Canucks, with 3 minutes left.

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Rene: Branstone has gone looking for fresh legs. Blanker has been removed from the midfield, Roy has been sent back and Ian McDougall has come in at forward. McDougall sprints forward, he certainly looks fresh. Takes the pass from Johns, he shoots...5-5! IT'S 5-5! Easily the highest-scoring game of this World Cup and Cup of Harmony.

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Martin: I'm about to have a heart attack.

Rene: This certainly is dramatic. Hockey Canada is up one on penalties, and Loic Perron steps into the box for the final shot.

Martin: No, I'm serious. *falls to the ground*

Rene: Calisse! Somebody get some help!

And here the broadcast cut off. Absolutely nothing got done in NMS for the rest of the day, since everyone wanted to know what happened. When the fans starting trickling back through the portal, everyone was in for a big surprise.

Hockey Canada in finals... again!

Things are looking up for Hockey Canada as of now. After an incredibly tight win over New Montreal States yesterday, Hockey Canada is preparing for one of the biggest games of its players' lives. The Canucks mustered a win over the Paladins in shootout thanks to a superb save by Thomas as well as a goal contribution. The goals were well-scored by both teams seeing how no one was complaining about the quality of them scored.

Thomas' shutout was quickly shattered early on in the game as Alexandre Thibault broke in on a cross. Johns took a shot that rattled of Thomas' hands before nailing the crossbar. Thomas down and out of the picture gave Alexandre Thibault a winde open net to send New Montreal States into the lead early on in the game.

Kulkarni managed to get some momentum for Hockey Canada going in the 22nd minute when he made a far pass to Mike Ko from his post at centre-field. A quick give-and-go from Ko saw Kulkarni soaring down on the New Montreal States keeper. A quick fake was nothing new to the seasoned Kulkarni as he deftly went around the New Montreal States keeper to place a shot square in the net to even up the score at 1-1.

Thibault only made things worse for the Hockey Canadians in the 32nd minute when he beautifully set up Roy for an easy shot on Thomas. Thomas, who commited to the pass from Thibault was badly out of position only to see Roy make a move and put it into the net. the 44th minute saw David Castelmann score a wierd goal. He shot the ball into a lob that must have caught some wind along with a curve to surprise Thomas and end up in the back of the net. It wasn't a goal Thomas would usually give up, but the score stood 3-1 at the half in favour of New Montreal States.

Hockey Canada made a comeback run for the ages in the second half when the Canucks caught a lucky break. Ko recieved a pass from Srylanko and ran into the box only to be tripped by Langlier. Langlier recieved a yellow card for his actions while Ko had no struggle scoring on the Penalty Kick. When Perron took a hard shot in the 68th minute, Thomas dove to make the excellent save. A long kick downfield saw Ko recieve the pass and have no struggle putting the ball just over the New Montreal States keeper and into the net to tie the game up at 3-all.

The Hockey Canadians started playing their game as time went on- rough. New Montreal States wouldn't argue with that from all the pushing that went on in the Hockey Canadian half. Zimin was the first unfortunate Hockey Canadian to see himself carded in the 6-yard box when he completely body-checked Castelmann. Castelmann was nearly stopped by Thomas on the penalty kick but his hard shot skipped past his hands and into the net giving the Paladins the lead.

Kulkarni got his deserved goal late in the game in the 88th minute when he turned on the afterburners. Past a diving Castelmann (who we can safely say was having one of the best games of his life) to break in on net, Kulkarni charged on the New Montreal States net intimidating the keepr with his sheer size alone. Hesitation from the keeper and no fear from Kulkarni saw him put the ball in the net no problem to tie the game up 4-4 heading into overtime.

Kulkarni took the ball in the 104th minute high up the field to a streaking Vaughn who was substituting Ko. Vaughn had no trouble nailing the shot off the post but one-timing the ball back in the net to an army of screaming fans and players. Coach Branstone had other plans rather than buckling under the pressure as he sent Ian MacDougall on forward. MacDougall somehow managed to get behind the Hockey Canadian wall of defenders. Johns passed the ball to MacDougall in a miracle and shot it behind Thomas. New Montreal States sportscasters were practically jumping out of their press-boxes to see the goal as it was a beauty. Thomas himself applauded the goal.

Penalty Kicks saw Perrault, Kulkarni and Ko score. Vaughn missed on his fourth shot leaving the door open for Loic Perron to put the Paladins up. Perron took a hard shot but Thomas guessed right diving quickly to the left. New Montreal States were shocked to see their team deflated by the stop leaving Thomas to take the finals shot and score.

After the game a rare interview was taken with Thomas: "I'd like two things right now... a nice long sleep... and a clean pair of shorts."

Their next game against casari will be their final test. A good team they're up against- the Canucks won't hesitate to give all they've got on these upstarts. A close finish like this or a rout in the making? It'll all be cleared by tomorrow morning when the hangover is present as ever.

THE CUP OF HARMONY FINAL
(and third-place game)

Some win and some lose,
But winners take the glory.
Life is rarely fair.




The third-place game:

New Montreal States 1 - 0 Kaze Progressa



The final:

Hockey Canada 3 - 1 Casari


Congratulations to Hockey Canada!

And thanks from both myself and NMS to all of the other teams for helping to make this a successful Cup of Harmony

Congrats Hockey Canada!

Casari Broadcasting Alliance
Where our high just crashed to the ground

Easily predictable result in Cup final
Hockey Canada wins by 2

In an easily predictable result, Hockey Canada won 3-1 over Casari.

"We played as hard as we could, and sometimes these things have to go to the favorites. Even qualifying was an upset, and making it to a Cup final is a fitting cap to an incredible campaign." GMC Hill said later.

The CSA gives it's thanks to the World Cup Association, hostsNew Montreal States and The Archregimancy, and Hockey Canada for a fair and well-played Final. Hopefully, if we manage not to Qualify again, we hope to be back and maybe just win one more.