NationStates Jolt Archive

Helen and Marian were sitting down to a personal luncheon with Prince Basil and Princess Jacqueline, Helen's parents, after their return to Pantocratoria. They had come to the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator, and after their formal welcoming, Helen's parents wanted to see her daughter for luncheon in their apartments, wanting to give her a private welcome home. Helen had invited Marian along. Basil and Jacqueline looked across the table at Helen as the servants served a light chicken and avocado fettucini for the main course.

Marian was sitting quietly, letting Helen and her family begin the conversation. She felt a little nervous and conflicted. She certainly wanted to get on well with Helen's family and to convey that their daughter was very important to her. At the same time, she knew she couldn't tell them everything and not the most essential thing, or it would be the end of everything.

"Pardon me mademoiselle," Jacqueline said to Marian, looking a little confused. "I was under the impression that you were a sidhe?"

"I was." Marian answered demurely. "Matters changed during the recent disaster in the Resurgent Dream, of which Your Highness might have heard word."

"I did, that's why I was asking. How is it that you... well... you don't look like a sidhe now." Jacqueline persisted.

"This was the only way I could stay on Earth and I didn't want to leave Earth." Marian answered with a slight smile. "I did not want to abandon my duties to His Highness, the Despot, or my responsibility for the people of Mortville."

"Commendable." nodded Basil. "We've missed you so much, Helen, first staying up in New Constantinople all that time, and then in Lavenrunz!"

"...and then back to New Constantinople again!" Jacqueline said. "We've missed you."

"I'm back now." Helen smiled.

Marian glanced briefly at Helen, noting that her parents hadn't mentioned her unauthorized trip, although her grandfather seemed likely to have spoken to them. Without saying anything about it, she looked back to Basil and Jacqueline, eating daintily.

"We assumed that the reason you ran off from New Constantinople without your grandfather's permission was because of Mademoiselle la Comtesse." Basil said, his tone slightly lecturing.

"Yes, Monsieur." Helen said, looking down slightly.

"But we understand now why you did so." Basil smiled. "That was very brave of you, Helen. Very impressive. Perhaps a little foolish, but after finding out about what happened in the Resurgent Dream, we couldn't possibly blame you."

Helen smiled, relieved and flattered. She looked at Marian.

Marian smiled back. "Your daughter has been the best friend anyone could ask for, Your Highness." she said, choking up slightly. "She befriended me when I was a complete stranger here."

"How did you come to be at the Despotic Court, mademoiselle?" asked Basil. Helen paused awkwardly halfway through a mouthful of food at the question, and looked again to Marian.

"His Highness...I hate to use the word 'recruited', it sounds so common....the Despot arranged for me to be brought to his court from the Resurgent Dream in the belief that I could serve him well, a belief I wish not to disappoint." she answered with a slight smile.

"Indeed..." Jacqueline replied, arching an eyebrow at Helen quizzically. "I had heard rumours that you were... involved with Monsieur le Despot?"

"Monsieur le Despot...expressed a degree of interest, especially in the first few days. However, he is now, of course, a happily married man." Marian said, catching her breath a little as she reached for another piece of food.

"Is he really?" Jacqueline asked the two young women.

"Jacqueline!" Basil protested at the implication, but let the question stand.

"I...believe so." Marian answered worriedly. "If he is not, it is not a matter of which I have knowledge."

"He has a reputation..." Jacqueline started, but Basil gave her a look which suggested that she should drop the topic, and so she did.

"Marian is a jouster!" Helen said, changing the topic.

"I beg your pardon?" Basil asked.

"She jousts. Tell them, Mari." Helen grinned.

"I do." Marian answered, looking at her arms worriedly for a moment before looking back at the others. She didn't like that they now actually looked like the arms of a strong woman. She turned back to Basil. "I have been in the lists at Subeita, Chantouillet, and New Constantinople."

"Hmm." Basil emitted, not exactly sounding approving. Jacqueline gave the slightest hint of an amused smile.

"She's very good." Helen continued, turning the proverbial knife.

"Oh? Do you only joust with other women, mademoiselle?" Basil asked.

"There aren't other women to joust with in Pantocratoria, Monsieur."

"That's what I thought. You joust with men, then?" Basil asked.

"Yes, Monsieur." she answered, her breathing seeming to trouble her again as she set down her fork.

"How do you find knights with whom to joust, mademoiselle?" Basil inquired.

"Mari, are you alright?" Helen asked.

"They are at the tournaments, Monsieur." she said, turning briefly to Helen and nodding slightly, looking at her a little hopefully though.

"Are you having trouble breathing?" she murmured to Marian. She glanced at how tightly laced Marian's corset was. She whispered. "Is your corset too tight?"

"I don't understand how any gentleman would agree to joust against a lady." Basil declared. "I can't believe any knight would do such a savage thing!"

"Basil..." Jacqueline whispered. "Please don't embarrass mademoiselle. Drop it."

"Perhaps if you were to watch some time you would appreciate the matter more, Monsieur." Marian said on the verge of hyperventilating as her breathing became more irregular still. Her corset looked to be no tighter than Helen's or Jacqueline's was.

"Monsieur, would you pardon us for a moment?" Helen asked her father, indicating that she'd like him to leave the room briefly. She glanced at the male servants, who would normally be invisible to her. "The manservants too."

"Are you asking me to leave?" Basil asked.

"Yes, Monsieur." Helen nodded. "Just for a few moments."

Basil decided that there was some sort of women's business going on, and didn't want to be around for it, so he rose, and left the room with the male servants, leaving Marian, Helen, and Jacqueline alone with a maid standing by in the corner.

Marian was increasingly hyperventilating. "It's no tighter than yours!" she exclaimed. "Why are you perfectly comfortable and I can't breathe?"

"You're not used to it, dear." Jacqueline said, rising from her seat and walking around the table.

"Maman, can you help me loosen her corset a little?" Helen asked.

"Let's get you over to the couch, mademoiselle." Jacqueline told Marian, nodding.

Marian let them help her to the couch, concentrating all her effort on breathing. Helen helped Marian lay over her lap on the couch, stomach down, and she and Jacqueline undid the laces to loosen them a little. They let it out another inch, carefully avoiding having to undo the whole thing and retie it.

"How's that, Mari?" Helen asked her, stroking Marian's hair out of her face with a soft, affectionate brush of her fingers. Jacqueline didn't seem to notice the strange degree of intimacy.

Marian smiled slightly, gasping for breath. "Thank you." She paused a long moment, a tear running down her cheek. "It's hard. I know it'll sound like I was just spoiled before but for one hundred and eight years I woke up every morning looking like a lady. I never had to DO anything for the appearance. I was never taught how to do any of the things I need to do for it now, neither back home or at the Despotic Court, because it was assumed I'd never need it. This is my first time in make-up, a corset, everything of that nature."

"Well, you've certainly come to the right place to learn what it's like to do all that." Jacqueline observed, helping Marian up to her feet. "Do you think you're ready to resume lunch?"

"You'll help me, Madame?" Marian asked with a relieved smile as she stood. "And, yes, I think I am ready."

"If you like, although sometimes even I find my corset... rather too tight." Jacqueline remarked, although there was certainly more to her comment than what she said.

"I'll fetch Papa." Helen smiled, walking over to the door. She opened it. "Monsieur?"

Marian looked at Jacqueline for a long moment, not sure what she meant, although she returned to her seat. Basil entered the room, smiling at his daughter, and kissing her on the cheek fondly as he entered the room.

"We really did miss you, Helen." he told her. Soon everyone had resumed their seats and the servants were back in their places.

"So tell us about Lavenrunz!" Jacqueline asked the two girls.

Marian smiled a little, glad for the change in topic. "They are honourable at Court, though the people at large seem to suffer from many prejudices."

"Oh? What do you mean, mademoiselle?" asked Jacqueline.

Marian paused, realising that she'd made a comment the explanation of which required an account of their little adventure. She decided to tell part of the truth and see where Helen took it. "We had occassion to walk in Hofsburg. I noticed a few muttered comments from the people alongside the roads that troubled me a good deal."

Helen bit her lower lip self-consciously as she remembered the night in question. She mostly remembered the blinding headache the next morning from all the schnapps she had drunk. Marian continued to eat, letting them think this had happened during some sort of formal stroll in the absence of any desire on Helen's part of explain it otherwise.

"Did you raise that with anybody at court?" Basil asked.

"No, Monsieur."

"And what about the Empress?" Jacqueline asked. "How did you find her?"

"Boring..." Helen said, a little too hastily. "I mean, erm... oh..."

"She was very noble and quite strong..." Marian said "...but terribly young."

"And boring?" Jacqueline asked, amused.

"That's not what I meant..." Helen started. "But she's erm... very dedicated, you know... serious."

"Half the people at the Despotic Court say that about me, you know?" Marian mentioned, slightly playfully.

"More than half!" Helen teased back, grinning and biting her lower lip playfully.

"Get me a list of names?" Marian requested with a wink.

Marian smiled out at the nobles of the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator. She had just obtained victory in the lists, the first time she had ever competed at the Imperial Court. She bowed respectfully to the Emperor, her eyes studying the reactions of the courtiers. When it was time, she stepped down and moved towards Helen and her family. The Emperor shook his head slightly in an expression of disdain and displeasure, and most courtiers took their cue from this, although were hardly as restrained as the Emperor had been. The courtiers who did not looked fairly amused at what had just transpired in front of them. The herald declared her the victor.

"Well done!" Helen smiled when Marian made her way over to her.

Marian looked down under the Emperor's contempt, smiling weakly at Helen. "Thank you."

"You were very good, mademoiselle." Jacqueline complimented. Basil scowled at his wife and then retured to glowering at the unhorsed knight on the field.

"Thank you." Marian said again, even weaker.

"Are you going to join us, Mari?" Helen asked her, indicating to the free chair in the family's box in the stand.

Marian pondered for a long moment, looking between Helen and the path back inside, not answering.

Manjula glared lightly at her husband. "You have something against Danaan nobility, Henri?" she asked pointedly.

Henri, who had taken his cue from the Emperor and reacted with barely masked contempt, turned with some surprise to Manjula.

"I beg your pardon, madame?" he asked.

"You are glaring at my countrywoman in a most unseemly fashion."

"I'm afraid I don't care for her efforts on the jousting field." Henri replied.

"They're better than mine ever were." Manjula said with a slight laugh. "Besides, if they were so poor she would not have won."

"It is not their quality which I don't care for, madame, but hers. And you never told me you jousted." Henri replied.

"I have before, once or twice." Manjula answered. "And I hardly see what cause you have to insult the lady's quality." Her scowl deepened before she returned her gaze to the field and clapped openly. Robert, Lord Arrial, the acting Danaan ambassador, also clapped openly.

"Can we have this conversation later?" Henri whispered, taking one of Manjula's hands in his own to hold it (and to stop her clapping), as he became aware of the eyes of the court falling on him.

Manjula nodded her ascent slightly, instinctively judging the reactions of the court to her behavior, especially the Emperor. The Emperor glanced at Manjula and Henri and arched an eyebrow. He leant over to the Chevalier du Plains-Demetrine, his principle private secretary for internal court affairs.

"Seat Monsieur and Madame de la Valière at the second table tonight, and Monsieur and Madame de la Côte d'Est at the third." he said. Being seated further away from the Emperor was an indication of displeasure which he trusted the Duke and Duchess would understand.

Over by Basil's box, Helen followed Marian's gaze up along the path and back into the palace.

"Do you not want to watch the other jousts?" Helen asked her, frowning a little in confusion.

"I do not think His Highness would wish my company." Marian said concisely, before curtseying. "By your leave..." She headed up the path.

Basil arched his eyebrow disapprovingly at Marian's terse response, but said nothing.

"Monsieur, with your leave?" Helen asked her father for permission to follow.

"Go on." Basil nodded to her. Helen followed after Marian.

"I think she did very well to beat a man like that..." Jacqueline observed to Basil.

"Utterly inappropriate behaviour." Basil shook his head.

"Yes, of course." Jacqueline sighed and nodded.

Helen entered the room just behind Marian.

"Mari? What's wrong?" Helen asked her.

Marian sighed silently and sat on the bed, starting to cry. Helen sat down next to her on the bed, and ran her hand lightly over the left shoulder piece of Marian's magnificent armour.

"Mari?" Helen asked her.

"I should have gone home when André offered! Everyone here has been just beastly, especially your father! If it weren't for you, I'd be on the next plane out of here!"

"Mari!" Helen replied, leaning across Marian's armour and kissing her softly just beneath her ear. "They're just old fashioned."

"No! They really loath me! Did you see the way the Emperor looked at me? If he hated it this much, why didn't he just forbid it anyway?" she wailed, despondent.

Helen gently kissed her way down Marian's neck until the armour stopped her from kissing and further.

"They don't loath you. The Emperor allowed you to joust because André established you as a court jouster, and it is your right to joust at lists at any court in the Empire." Helen told her. "And the Emperor looks at everyone like that... he never smiles, trust me."

"Well, he was hardly polite! And he encouraged his courtiers to look downright vicious! Including your father! You know...it's for your sake...I challenged members of the Lavenrunzian imperial family for less!" Marian exclaimed, her despondence mixed with anger as she sobbed violently. "You could at least say something when he insults my honour to my face."

"The courtiers are mindless sycophants..." Helen said, beginning to cry herself at how upset Marian was. When Marian added the implication that Helen should've done something, she was crushed completely.

"Don't cry, Helen." Marian said, putting armored arms around her. "It just hurts me that your family feels this way because...because they're an important part of your life and I want to be an important part of your life and...I'd really like it if you talked to him, Helen." Marian said, wiping Helen's tears away even as her own ran down her cheeks.

"What should I tell him, Mari?" Helen asked, kissing Marian's hands as she wiped away her tears.

"Tell him...I don't know. Just make him be civil." Marian said, kissing Helen gently.

"He's not a bad man, Mari, he's just very traditional..." Helen told her.

"Helen, please." Marian responded quietly. "I need to get changed. I'll come by your family apartments after dinner."

"Of course... I'll talk to you later then." Helen said, sniffling a little. "I'll talk to Daddy."

"I love you." Marian said. She watched Helen go. She spent most of the rest of the day being nervous about the upcoming encounter and didn't talk much at her doubtless rather bad table at dinner. Later that evening, she arrived at the family apartments.

A servant led her into a sumptuous living room. Basil and Jacqueline were sitting together on one couch, Jacqueline with her legs tucked up underneath her and her head on Basil's shoulder. Basil had his arm around her and the pair were watching the evening news on the television - Basil was one of the few men at court who actually watched television. Helen jumped up from her couch and hurried across the floor to greet Marian. Marian smiled lightly, curtseying to the family.

"Good evening." Marian briefly noted what was happening on the news before giving all her attention to those in front of her. She grinned a little, taking Helen's seeming excitement as a good sign.

Jacqueline blushed and straightened up into a somewhat more dignified position, unfolding her legs from underneath her and straightening out her skirts. Basil nodded to Marian politely, listened to the end of the newstory (about politics), and then flicked off the television with the remote control.

"Good evening, mademoiselle." he said.

Helen sat back down and patted the free place on the couch next to her for Marian to join her. Marian sat down next to Helen, her attention largely on Basil at the moment.

"Helen tells me I caused you some offence earlier today..." Basil said, sounding a little uncomfortable. "...for which I can only apologise."

"Thank you, Monsieur. That means a lot coming from Your Highness." Marian answered, smiling.

"You see, mademoiselle, there are certain things which are the reserve of men and women respectively at court." Basil said. "I find it inappropriate when somebody crosses into the reserve of one not of his or her class or gender. However, Monsieur le Despot had you proclaimed as a court jouster, and therefore... jousting is no longer the sole reserve of gentlemen."

Marian nodded slightly. "I don't find it offensive that you consider it inappropriate, Monsieur. I was just...from your words last night I was worried you might find me personally 'savage'."

"Savage? Certainly not." Basil insisted. "If I were to find anybody savage, it would be the man who jousted against you."

"He hardly harmed me." Marian said with a light smirk.

"Indeed." Basil said.

"I think I am going to retire after tonight, in any event." she said, not having discussed this previously with Helen or Andreus.

"Mari, no!" Helen said, looking shocked.

"Why would you do..." Jacqueline started, but stopped abruptly when Basil gave her a gentle squeeze.

"Oh?" asked Basil.

"When I was a sidhe, I could do it and it didn't change anything else. I still looked the same. I still felt the same. I was still built the same. Now...the mechanics are very different." she said regretfully. She held out an arm and flexed it a little, producing a jouster's muscled. "I don't like how my arms look now. I want to lose that."

"I think your arms look beautiful!" Helen said, sounding a little upset. She glanced at the couch her parents were sitting on - they didn't seem to think there was anything unusual about what she had said, to her relief.

"Well, it is your decision of course, mademoiselle." said Basil, entirely containing his glee at the decision.

"I just wanted to prove I could do it here, first." Marian continued. "Which I did, though it didn't go over well."

"You certainly proved that you can do it." Basil told her. "I would say you've nothing to prove to anybody after today."

Jacqueline looked a little disappointed but didn't voice any more objections to Marian's apparently decided course of action. Helen on the other hand looked quite upset.

"Mari, you're so good at jousting, and you love doing it! You insisted that André let you joust..." she protested. "Why are you giving it up?"

"Everything's different now, Helen. Everything changed." Marian said with slight worry. "It'll be alright. I can find some other unorthodox hobby."

"Oh?" Basil asked in some alarm. Jacqueline smiled almost imperceivably.

"A non-violent one." she reassured him, giving a knowing smile to Jacqueline.

"I hate New Constantinople in summer..." Helen said as she looked out over the sprawling metropolis from the balcony at the top of the Despotic Court of New Constantinople.

"Why? I think the warm weather is marvellous." said her grandfather, who stood next to her, leaning on the railing.

"I always love the Despotate." Marian said, giving Helen a slightly knowing grin.

"The whole city smells of sweat in summer, monsieur." Helen replied to her grandfather, but couldn't help but smile back at Marian.

Oh, what Marian would have said if the Duke wasn't there. Unfortunately, he was, so she kept looking idly.

"Mademoiselle, I've been trying to place you... I'm sure I've seen you before somewhere..." Duke Mathieu said, turning to Marian.

"She's Mademoiselle la Comtesse d'Armenstar et de Mortville, monsieur." Helen told her. "I told you that when we arrived."

"Hmm..." the Duke thought. "So you did..."

"Don't you remember the name, monsieur?" Helen asked in some concern for her grandfather's memory.

"Oh... oh yes... oh my!" the Duke said, a look of recognition appearing in his eyes. "But you're so different, mademoiselle."

Marian laughed a little. "Well, change is part of life, so they say. I'm 108, no reason I should look like I did at 18."

"But you were... you are... but aren't you a sidhe, mademoiselle?" the old man asked, confused.

"It's complicated." Marian said.

"We'll explain at dinner, monsieur." Helen told the Duke.

"Well, I suppose it will make a most entertaining story." her grandfather replied with a smile.

Marian nodded. "Very entertaining." She paused, looking carefully over the city. "I wonder if we can see the construction on the new swimming pool from here."

"What new swimming pool?" Helen asked her, taking Marian's hand.

Marian held hands with Helen happily. "His Highness is going to have a new free public pool built for the underprivileged."

"Oh." Helen answered.

"We can only see a small part of the city from here, mademoiselle." the Duke replied. "It is hardly likely we will be able to see such a thing."

Marian nodded a little to the Duke. "Probably not." She then turned to Helen. "You sound uninterested."

"It's just a swimming pool, Mari." Helen replied, shrugging her shoulders a little.

"It'll encourage physical fitness, keep kids off the street, increase optimism, provide an alternative to drug use...." Marian didn't sound like she was going to stop unless cut off.

"Mari, it's just a swimming pool." Helen interrupted with a smile.

"It's a start." Marian said with a grin. "There's a lot of other things I need to ask Their Highnesses about as well."

"Their Highnesses?" Helen asked.

"A lot of stuff has to go through Princess Christiana too." Marian mentioned. She paused thoughtfully. "I hope she's doing alright these days. Those Knootians really don't have any honour."

Helen didn't say anything by the way of reply. She didn't much like Christiana, any she wasn't going to talk about gossip in front of her grandfather. She looked at the Duke.

"Mademoiselle." the Duke smiled, but didn't seem to be going anywhere.

"I'm going back downstairs." Marian said.

"I'll come with you." said Helen quickly.

"But mesdemoiselles, didn't you want to watch the sunset up here?" asked the Duke, confused.

Marian was still a little annoyed and let Helen talk to her grandfather.

"Some other time, grandfather." Helen smiled, and kissed her grandfather on the cheek. "I'll see you at dinner, monsieur."

She then turned and followed Marian downstairs quickly, thankful that she wasn't wearing a New Rome court gown, in which it was so easy to trip on ones petticoats if one wasn't very careful as one went downstairs. Marian was walking the halls, looking for someone to listen to her diatribe.

"Mari, slow down!" Helen said as she caught sight of her. She hurried up to catch up to Marian. Marian slowed down obediently.

"Why'd you run off like that?" Helen asked her as she caught up to her.

"Because you and your grandfather both brushed me off when we were talking." Marian said casually.

"Brushed you off?" Helen asked, as if Marian had just told her that she had mortally offended her.

"It just bothers me. They're such hypocrites and child murderers moreover."

"Child murderers? Who?" Helen asked, startled by the seemingly non-sequitur statement.

"The Knootians!" Marian said fiercely. "They murder millions upon millions of babies in the womb every year. They implode their heads before the poor children even have a chance to taste their first breath."

"Oh..." Helen replied. "Sorry Mari, I just didn't want to talk about Christiana, not in front of grandfather."

"A race of murderers and liars..." Marian ranted on, heading towards her chambers with Helen in tow.

"Mari, I've never heard you talk like this before!" Helen said with some alarm as she followed after Marian.

Marian went inside and shut the door after Helen came in after her. Marian paused, as though about the explain something to Helen, then she just shook her head and sat down on the bed. "You're the only star in my heaven, Helen."

Helen's look melted into a fierce blush. She bit her lower lip and smiled enticingly at Marian.

"I love you, Mari." she replied sweetly.

"I know." Marian said with a slight smirk, patting the bed beside her.

Helen obediently crossed the room at sat beside Marian at once.

"You know...this is the first time we've really been alone since...we discussed things...back in Tarana." Marian commented thoughtfully.

"I know..." Helen quietly replied, looking down at her hands in her lap as she did so.

"I want to...be intimate with the person I love..." Marian said, blushing furiously "...but I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to....do..."

"I have no idea!" Helen gasped, remaining bright red. "Well..."

She started to untie the ribbons which fastened her shoulder straps to her top, her hand trembling nervously. Marian started taking off her own clothes, red as a beet.

"Wait..." Helen said.

"Yes, mademoiselle?"

"Let me... can you..." Helen started, blushing. "Can you help me first? Then I'll help you."

"Alright." Marian said, helping Helen out of her clothes.

As Marian helped her undress, tears rolled down Helen's brightly blushing cheeks. Her mouth trembled with a combination of fear and anticipation. When she was naked, she kissed Marian passionately, exploring her mouth with her tongue.

"You're a goddess..." Marian said, kissing back fiercely as she took Helen's body in her arms. "I know it's a personal question but...did you ever do this the conventional way, with a man?"

"No, never." Helen replied, still trembling as she kissed Marian and returned her embrace.

"I've been...." Marian turned away. "I don't want you to think I'm a whore."

"Mari, I know you're not a whore." Helen told her, beginning to gently remove Marian's shoulder straps. "You can tell me."

"I've been with a few men before, including André." Marian confessed.

"That only makes me want you more..." Helen told her breathlessly.

"I want you too." Marian said eagerly, her whole body tense. "I'm just not sure how to take you." She looked at herself and Helen.

Marian woke to find Helen sitting on the edge of the bed in her nightie, staring blankly into the wall nervously. She trembled faintly in the cool early morning air, and her milk white skin was covered in goosebumps - but it wasn't that cold, they were still inside after all. She didn't notice Marian stirring behind her, and continued anxiously doing whatever it was she was doing.

"What's wrong, goddess?" Marian murmured.

"Just... just thinking." Helen replied, jumping a little in surprise when she heard Marian's voice.

"What about, sweetie?" Marian asked.

"What we just did..." Helen replied, lifting one leg up onto the bed and leaving the other dangling as she turned to her side to face Marian.

"We expressed our love." Marian said in a soft murr.

"We sinned." Helen replied in a soft whine, biting her lower lip anxiously.

"You mean because we're not married?" Marian inquired.

"Yes, and because we're... well, we're both women." Helen said, lifting her other leg up onto the bed and turning the rest of the way around. She folded her legs beneath her and sat on the bed in front of Marian wallowing in a potent mix of guilt and desire.

"I noticed." Marian said with a wry smile.

"That makes it even more of a sin. I think." Helen said.

"Helen...you know how I feel...I don't know what to say..." Marian spoke slowly, a little concerned.

"I know!" Helen began to cry. "And I know how I feel! But it's still..."

"We don't have to do it." Marian said, reaching up and putting a hand gently on Helen's shoulder.

"But I want to do it." Helen told her, the tears stopping. "That's why I'm so confused and upset..."

"I don't know what to say. I'm not a Christian." Marian cooed. "But I love you unconditionally, whatever you decide."

The last thing Marian said seemed to be the clincher. The look on Helen's face was as if somebody had just turned a knife which they had previously plunged into her side. She looked down at the pillow and took a deep breath before looking back up at Marian with a sweet, weak smile.

"I love you too. And I want to keep on making love to you. To stop would make me feel much worse than to keep sinning." Helen told her.

Marian frowned a little but guided Helen down with her. She just hugged and cuddled the princess. Marian was still quite nude. Helen slowly slipped out of her nightie as she returned Marian's affection with kisses.

The mists clung low to the ground in the hilly Fireforge highlands where Armenstar Castle, the seat of the old County of Armenstar, stood looking over a steep ridge. Of course, Her Excellency the Countess had a modern country manor on a hill near the village. However, it was here to the castle that she had invited her guest, Her Imperial Highness, Princess Helen of Pantocratoria for a second birthday celebration, after the celebration Helen's parents had thrown her at the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator. Marian had left Pantocratoria a few days before Helen and thus Helen was alone with her guards and attendants for the limousine ride to the castle.

"Lovely countryside..." Helen remarked to nobody in particular. The nobody in particular in question, her Varangian bodyguard, knew better than to mistake it as an invitation to conversation.

Helen looked out of the window of the limousine as it pulled up outside the castle, looking for Marian. Marian was waiting in in the archaic costuming of a Scottish highland noblewoman, an outfit much simpler and coarser than the French clothing she normally wore in Pantocratoria, but also one allowed for freer movement. She was waiting in the castle gate, unescorted but smiling. Helen emerged from the limousine wearing a modern outfit designed especially for her by New Constantinople's star fashion designer, Sergio Thracie, which was only one outfit out of a whole wardrobe her cousin Andreus had given her for her birthday. It was not immodest in and of itself, but gave the impression that at any moment it might fall away and become extremely immodest. She smiled broadly at the sight of Marian. Marian walked swiftly to Helen, grasped her hands, and kissed her on both cheeks in a friendly manner. Helen planted a quick kiss on Marian's lips as she pulled away from kissing her cheeks - quick enough that her bodyguard didn't notice it as he got out of the car.

"Do you like my dress?" Marian asked in a playful, girlish tone.

"I like your castle." Helen replied in much the same tone.

"So do I. It's been too long since I've been here." Marian said, grinning. "Come inside. Everyone is waiting for you."

"Everyone?" Helen asked as she followed Marian, slipping her hand into the former sidhe's.

Marian squeezed Helen's hand lightly. "I did say I was giving you a party."

"I didn't know there'd be other people at it though..." Helen said, biting her lower lip lightly as she gave Marian a meaningful look.

"They're only staying so long." Marian said, winking.

"Let's meet them!" Helen grinned, squeezing Marian's hand back.

Marian walked with Helen through the courtyard and into the great hall of the castle. It was not a royal great hall designed for elegance and grandeur or a modern ballroom. It was simply the biggest room in a castle which had been built as a military fortification. However, today it was filled with smiling, dancing, lords and ladies and it was brightly lit and decorated. Most of them were dressed similar to Marian and the next twenty minutes or so were spent introducing Helen to a long line of fawning gentlemen, knights, lords, counts, and even the odd duke. The names all tended to be Scottish. Helen might also notice that the refreshments were on a table to one side and not being carried about by servants. There was a small troupe of bagpipers playing the charming highland music to which the nobles danced.

"The Emperor has some Breton pipers in his orchestras, but they're quite different." Helen said to Marian, indicating with a nod of her head to the bagpipers. "This is so lovely and quaint, Mari, thank you!"

Marian grinned. "I was hoping you'd like it." She smiled a little as she stepped to the side to speak more quietly. "The difference is likely that these men aren't an exotic addition to a cosmopolitan court. This really is how most people in this part of the country live."

"I see." Helen nodded. She had never really thought much about how most people in any part of any country lived. "I think my sister Marie would love Armenstar, she's always saying that she wants to see more of the Resurgent Dream than Tarana. I think it's lovely."

"Well, she is welcome anytime, even when I'm not in residence." Marian responded.

"I don't think she'd be very comfortable in the native attire, though." Helen grinned.

Marian laughed lightly. "No, no...I wouldn't think she would be." She glanced over to her guests. "Although I do think the young lords will simply go mad if you do not dance with some of their number soon, Highness."

"Well... I wouldn't want anybody going mad on my account..." Helen smiled.

The men walked over, asking a dance of Helen each in turn, smiling and flirting as they whirled her about the hall. Helen smiled and flirted back. She still relished in the attention of handsome young men, despite her deepening relationship with Marian.

Eventually, the guests slowly made their way out and Marian made her way over to Helen. "Did you enjoy yourself?"

"I did." Helen replied, smiling at Marian not so much with her mouth as with her twinkling eyes.

"Have you eaten yet?" Marian asked.

"No, I haven't." Helen answered.

"Join me for dinner?"

"I'd love to." Helen grinned.

Marian escorted Helen to her private dining room, pulling out her chair. Dinner had already been served, a dish of haggis with neeps and tatties.

"Eep..." Helen said, her beautiful eyes widening with alarm as they fixated on the sheep's stomach on her plate. "What is that?"

"It's haggis." Marian said with a grin.

"But what is it doing there?" Helen asked.

"You're supposed to eat it." Marian explained.

"Me?" Helen asked. Her tone made it clear that she didn't think it likely.

"It's very good." Marian commented.

"It's offal!" Helen insisted.

"So are most sausages, actually." Marian informed her.

"I very rarely eat sausages." Helen said, finally sitting down slowly.

"Well, the Sumerians invented them in roughly 3000 BCE." Marian said for no apparent reason, although accurately. "Anyway, it's deer, not sheep."

"Mari I don't know..." Helen winced, wrinkling her pretty nose as she examined the dish.

Marian started eating hers eagerly, clearly enjoying it.

"...maybe I shouldn't have dinner, Aunt Irene said I was getting fat the other night..." Helen said.

"Your Aunt Irene is..." Marian cut herself off before she said something too rude.

"You think she's right?!?" Helen gasped, her mouth agape. She was a naturally slightly built young woman, and even if she had been putting on weight, she certainly would be in no danger of becoming fat. She had obviously missed the direction of Marian's statement completely.

"No, Helen. I don't think she's right and neither does she. She knows you're not fat. She made that up to be cruel."

"Oh." Helen blushed. "Well, I was... getting a little piggy with my birthday cake."

"Be brave, Helen. You ate the bara lawr at the wedding in Tarana."

"The what?" Helen asked, furrowing her pretty brow.

"Remember? They served it for breakfast at the Gryffon Court, along with bacon and cockles."

"Oh, the seaweed." Helen nodded. "But that was just a vegetable, this is... well, guts."

"I thought you'd like it." Marian pouted.

"Don't be upset!" Helen said. Damn, now I'm going to have to eat this... haggis... why can't they eat normal things like peacocks? "I'll try it."

Marian grinned and picked a bit up on her fork, moving it to Helen's mouth with a playful grin. Helen blushed furiously, and then opened her mouth. Marian fed her a bite. Helen chewed and swallowed it, trying not to taste it.

"I'm twenty three now, I can feed myself!" she insisted in a faux-sulk.

"I know." Marian said. "But I like to feed you." She smirked slightly, slipping her foot under the table and slightly rubbing the other woman's ankle.

Helen gave a light, half-giggle, then folded her hands in her lap, and smiled, obviously waiting for Marian to finish feeding her. Marian fed Helen the rest of her haggis.

"Do you think the other guests are still here?" Helen asked at the end of the meal.

"No. They left." Marian reminded her.

"I..." Helen blushed furiously again, and looked down at her hands folded in her lap. "I forgot."

"I'm going to go get your present. Come join me in my chambers in about fifteen minutes." Marian said with a slight smirk.

"Oh..." Helen smiled, still blushing furiously. "I wonder what it is!"

Marian got up and retired to her chambers. Helen went off and attended to her Varangian, stationing him at a certain door and telling him that it was the only entry to her chambers, and that he should stay there. Then she snuck through a different entrance and into Marian's room at the arranged time. The lights were off in Marian's room. It was dark when Helen entered.

"Mari?" Helen asked timidly. In the dark, the big old castle suddenly became scary.

The lights slowly came on, by some unknown device. Marian was lying nude on her bed with a giant birthday gift ribbon wrapped loosely around her. "Do you like your present?"