NationStates Jolt Archive


Are you suffering from overpopulation?

imported_Kalessin
18-07-2005, 01:00
Closed-band transmission from the Kalessin Ministry of Truth to all national governments:

"Is your nation suffering from overpopulation? Are unemployment levels rising uncontrollably, resulting in widespread poverty and suffering, or an intolerable drain on your welfare system and the hard working people who maintain it? Are more and more people being crammed into squalid slums and cramped high-rises like sardines in tins? Are your farmers struggling to feed your people? Are these problems causing widespread dissatisfaction among your poplace, leading to riots, or worse? Are you being forced to consider enforcing birth controls, or, worse, culls of the elderly and infirm?

Do not despair! The Glorious and Benevolent Empire of Kalessin is delighted to announce that it is now in a position to offer a solution to overpopulation, and all its symptoms. Due to a substantial drop in birth rate over the last few decades, the Empire now has a substantial amount of fertile land lying fallow and untended. As such, we are currently capable of absorbing your excess population for a minimal fee, the terms and nature of which are fully negotiable. This fee may be waived in exceptional circumstances. The Empire will provide all necessary transport, and will undertake to provide a full information pack on life in Kalessin for any interested parties.

Rest assured, all immigrants will be given full Kalessin citizenship, with all the rights and privileges which that involves. They will also be given either a comfortable, fully-furnished home in one of our many picturesque country villages, or a farmhouse with enough land to feed themselves and their families, with plenty to spare for the lively village markets. For a slightly higher fee, we will even take the old and infirm, who will be provided with full room and board for the rest of their lives, complete with round the clock care. Any orphaned children will be placed in loving Kalessini families, who will bring them up as if they were of our own people. All races, age-groups, creeds and species are fully eligible for the immigration program, although naturally, fit, healthy young adults are preferred.

Contact the Kalessin Ministry of Plenty now, and save your people from the horrors of overpopulation, without reducing their standard of living or removing their basic sentient right to bear children."
Sentient Peoples
18-07-2005, 03:19
Due to Bruce Reynolds being out of the country, the next message from the Kalessini Government found its way across the desk of Third Ambassador Deanna Humphrey, who promptly began to laugh as she read it. As Third Ambassador, she was head of the Weird: True or False Division of the International Relations Directorate, and as she thought about it, she realized she would have probably gotten to deal with this even if Bruce had been here.

For a moment she envied Bruce, as he got to deal with normal people and normal problems on the international scene, while she…

It was not called the WTF Division for nothing, after all. She got to deal with the crazies.

Knowing that D’ron was concerned about the increasing population, and especially the massive inroads the Lost Americans Invasion had made into the already fragile ecosystem and Federal Protected Environments, she knew that getting people to move to one of the colonies was a fairly massive push. Which, of course, was why Bruce was not present, being on Neptune, and all.

No matter. She still had to decide what to do with this missive from KalMiniTrue. The solution, after a moment’s thought, became blindingly obvious. She forwarded it to Rebecca, with instructions to put it into all the forms of Mass Market Media for distribution to the population. Anyone who felt compelled by it was to contact the Federal government, who would put them in contact with the Kalessini.

Meanwhile, she fired off a response to MiniTrue requesting ten thousand informational packets be delivered for immediate distribution to interested parties in the Federation.

The people would then decide, but the Kalessini reputation was… poor, in the Federation. Deanna doubted more than fifty people out of more than five billion would be compelled.

And only that many if the Kalessini worked some magic on them.