NationStates Jolt Archive

Open transmission from the Kalessin Ministry of Truth:

"Are you unemployed, and struggling to earn a living for yourself and your loved ones? Are you starving, whether due to poverty, drought or famine? Are you suffering from political or social oppression? Or are you just an overworked city-dweller searching for a better way of life? If your answer to any of the above is 'yes', then there is no need to despair. There is a way out. The thrice-blessed Emperor of Kalessin, in his infinite wisdom, has percieved your suffering, and that of your fellows all over this world of ours, and, in his immeasurable compassion, has decided to open our borders to any who seek refuge. Whatever your age, race, species or creed. Whatever your nationality, history or occupation, married or unmarried, with or without children, you are all welcome. There are no forms to fill in, no questions asked, all you have you do is contact us by [insert local mode(s) of communication here] or board one of the many Kalessini trade vessels that will soon be visiting your home country. All of you, whatever your background, caste or former station in life, will automatically be granted full Kalessini citizenship, with all the rights and privileges which that involves, as well as sole ownership of your very own farm amidst the rolling hills and unspoilt green fields and ancient forests of Kalessin, complete with livestock, and enough acres of fertile land to feed yourselves and as many children as you could possibly desire, and due to our state-of-the-art weather-control systems, you need never fear famine ever again. So, for a live free from fear, oppression, prejudice and hunger, or to escape all the worldly cares that blight so many lives, come to the land which war shall never touch, and where the rains are fresh and clean, and the skies are clear and bright. Come to freedom. Come to Kalessin, and a new, better life."

Rebecca Collins rolled her blue eyes at the Kalessini message and muttered under her breath, allowing it all the transmission time it had purchased with a key press, "They can have anyone stupid enough to believe them."

Then she moved on to the next foreign government transmission needing her approval. It was rare she did not approve something, and even then, that did not technically prevent privately owned transmission agencies from broadcasting it.

And she spent at least two hours a day on this. Damn foreign governments, sending all these transmissions. I wonder who is gonna do this while I'm on vacation with Bruce. I hope they won't be piling up for two months or I'll never wade through them. Then she paused, and moved back to the Kalessini transmission. She required an amendment to be tagged on from the Federal Government.

"No Kalessini vessels will be calling at Ports in the Federation, so please disregard this part of their transmission. A list of countries they do attend may be gotten from your local Commerce Directorate Office or International Relations Directorate Office."

On the whole, Danaans were not stupid enough to fall for it either. On the whole. The temptation was greatest in Corral, where, in spite of overall Danaan economic prosperity, a lot of fishing communities were going through hard times. Archbishop Laurens Verhagen of the Arraran Church, the largest Church in Corral these days, had warned people against going. So had Princess Ningyo ni Syrinx and First Minister Andre Dittrich. Most people listened. Those very few who did not, like the people from Sentient Peoples, had to go find another country to catch a ship in.

Two such people, two of only eight, in fact, were Jan and Juliana Zalm. The young couple wanted a better life than their parents had had and were willing to take a chance despite the warnings. Jan was a young man of about twenty-three with a light beard and brown hair. He was handsome enough, as his wife was fairly pretty. If it weren't for their staunch Arraran faith, she might have gone to Knootoss to make a good deal of money in certain industries legal there. As the case was, they wanted to be farmers. They looked around nervously, waiting for the Kalessin ship to arrive.

"Kalessini ships, here? Yeah, like that'll ever happen," muttered one technician to another at the Menelmacari Office of Communications Integrity, a small agency buried somewhere in the latter half of the Prefecture of Imperial Defense and Homeland Security. Its purpose, essentially, was to block random pirate propaganda broadcasts. "We still clean?"

The other technician glanced up at her wall of screens, flickering through the thousands of holonet and television channels available to Menelmacari from within Menelmacar, and beyond. It was all business as usual. "Yep, looks like it. Monitoring system would home in on any breaches."

"Heh... too funny... 'Kalessin, homeland of freedom!' Right," the first chuckled. "Do up a blurb for the press, they'll show the especially amusing highlights. I'll fire off a letter to the Kalessini MiniTrue noting that they failed to purchase the airtime they tried to use, and to remind them to do so in future."

The people of Wazzu tended to be quite well educated, and quite well experianced with advertisements. On a normal day, the average citizen would laugh at the Kalessin "comercial," which corporations would have quite gladly taken some form of usable currancy to play.

But these were not normal times. People were getting scared, angry, desperate, and emotions can do strange things to the animal that is man. The worst off, the poorist, hungryist, and typically most unhealthy (to the point of outward physical mutation) people simply didn't care anymore.

Kalessin ships did not make port in Wazzu, but it was not difficult to find an intermediate. Money would be needed for the first voyage, but it would not be difficult to earn a few days wages when most of the population was playing hooky to force the governments hands.

It would take a few days, a week, two, but soon the worst off Wazzuians would be flooding into Kalessin in the thousands...blinded and driven by the worst of desperation and likely suffering from malnutrition, disease, and an utter sense of being lost in the wide open world few ever saw.


EDIT: Reference:
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=432381

I hate this job Lord Jehvah, the ‘Great and Mighty’ Nomarch of the entire world of Ega (population 2149, including himself) and Representative of Lord Atum to the United Nations, thought to himself as he tossed the stack of ‘paper’ work onto his desk, a humiliatingly small box-room of an office in the massive United Nations complex.

Tearing off a lime green and turquoise cloak, he sat down, and tossed his legs up onto the desk, “Blasted Atum sends me here as yet more punishment,” he muttered, taking a copy of the last resolution, he could tell from reading the title, Civilian Rights Post War that it was more of what he categorised inane human rights drivel.

The data tablet bounced off the wall and into his waste ‘paper’ bin, and he examined the next on the list. He came to one titled UN Biological Weapons Ban and began laughing at the idea of his odious Master implementing such inanity.

Then he found a transcript, among his pile of work – for he was expected to do the job of a ten-man team of experts – of the Kalessini Advertisement…

A few moments later, after examining the United Nations report on Kalessin, he laughed softly, his eyes flaring with bioluminescence.


To The Kalessini Ministry of Truth,

My sources tell me that you may be able to provide us with an agreeable business opportunity. It has come to my attention that you desire immigration from foreign nations. I on the other hand, am in a position to propose the, shall we say, forced emigration of certain humans at my whim.

Perhaps you could speed up the process of accumulation of new human resources by coming to an arrangement with my office, and through me, my Divine Master, for the purchase of excess population not engaged in useful service of the Divine Cause.

By the Hand of Lord Jehvah, High Nomarch of the Planet Ega, Representative of His Most Revered Divinity Atum, Creator of All That Is, to the Tau’ri and the United Nations.