Montaine
10-07-2005, 00:22
2005_0709 : : SL/AP Wire
Byline: Ivana Bendova - Hogan City News-Free Press
Title: Montaine to Start MMD Research Program
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In a startling move, the newly installed Transitional Junta of the tiny but expansionistic Dominion of Montaine announced the official unveiling of an intensive research program aimed at developing Mockery of Mass Destruction for the national defense.
"Montaine is completely surrounded by idiots," said Junta leader Malcolm XYZPDQ in a press conference Saturday morning, "We must have the means to defend ourselves, and that means having an effective and funny strategic deterrent." The government did not provide a timeline or budget for development of the highly controversial MMD weapons system. In a related announcement, Montaine has announced the creation of the Bitchslap League, a strategic and geographic alliance based on mutual defense agreements, surrealist policy, and general disregard for anything even remotely serious. Other members of the Bitchslap League include the Free State of Offensive Jokes, which was involved in an incident involving the indiscrimate use of insulting remarks in a border dispute against neighboring Pompositania just last year.
UN Humor Anti-Proliferation officials have expressed deep concern over these recent announcements by Montaine. "This is a very serious world we're role-playing in, and we are committed to keeping it that way," said UN spokesman Buttress Buttress-Groinvault in response to this morning's announcement, "Mockery of Mass Destruction and other humor-based weapons systems endanger all of us, opening up the possibility of offending the self-important, humiliating the foolish, and leaving great plumes of emotional fallout throughout neighboring regions."
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Byline: Ivana Bendova - Hogan City News-Free Press
Title: Montaine to Start MMD Research Program
Text Follows.......................................................
In a startling move, the newly installed Transitional Junta of the tiny but expansionistic Dominion of Montaine announced the official unveiling of an intensive research program aimed at developing Mockery of Mass Destruction for the national defense.
"Montaine is completely surrounded by idiots," said Junta leader Malcolm XYZPDQ in a press conference Saturday morning, "We must have the means to defend ourselves, and that means having an effective and funny strategic deterrent." The government did not provide a timeline or budget for development of the highly controversial MMD weapons system. In a related announcement, Montaine has announced the creation of the Bitchslap League, a strategic and geographic alliance based on mutual defense agreements, surrealist policy, and general disregard for anything even remotely serious. Other members of the Bitchslap League include the Free State of Offensive Jokes, which was involved in an incident involving the indiscrimate use of insulting remarks in a border dispute against neighboring Pompositania just last year.
UN Humor Anti-Proliferation officials have expressed deep concern over these recent announcements by Montaine. "This is a very serious world we're role-playing in, and we are committed to keeping it that way," said UN spokesman Buttress Buttress-Groinvault in response to this morning's announcement, "Mockery of Mass Destruction and other humor-based weapons systems endanger all of us, opening up the possibility of offending the self-important, humiliating the foolish, and leaving great plumes of emotional fallout throughout neighboring regions."
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