NationStates Jolt Archive

The dooblebeebug. Mankinds worst enemy.
These tiny insects are related to the locust, and even more unstoppable.
You may have heard of locusts. Flying insects that munch on the crops of our world.
They are in the news.
They are in the air.
They are in the bible.
Their cousin, the dooblebeebug is twice as small but can eat up to seventy times its own body mass before it even needs to stop for breath.
Only once before has a dooblebeebug hunt been called.
Now I ask you nations of the world. For the sake of your country, your people and your export taxes.
HELP ME ERRADICATE THESE BEASTS!

We would be happy to eliminate this threat to world crops. We are prepared to repeatedly carpet napalm all areas infested with the beasts without mercy, at your command.

NOTE: To assure that these bugs never resurface, national scale carpet napalming may be deemed neccesary by the Imperal Crimmond Marine Corps.

your plight concerns us, however our constitution forbids large-scale action without a vote of the full council, for now, please accept 1728 cans of Raid.

although the council has voted not to allocate government funds to the project at this time, several members of the council have decided to make private contributions, with your permission, five hundred nuclear bombs and several tons of sarin shall be dropped over the affected area.