Pancaketopia
31-05-2005, 01:41
Though were are but a small nation now, the world will soon know our strength. Diplomacy takes a back seat to intricate intellegence and military operations most of the time. If you've got a problem with that, I sugguest you wear a bulleproof helmet and vest, because our covert snipers do not like to be hated. Don't even think about trying to nuke us. We've got secret silos arond the world, heavily armed thanks to our successful uranium mining operations. However, if you are friendly, our country has many fine casinos located in the capital city of Butterdon. If you have rebellious youth, we reccomend our wonderful exchange program. We have an exchange program similar to that of Danaan's, but we tend to not like those who would like to take whatever information from us they can without giving something in return. I'm sure all of you are ready to welcome Pancaketopia into the world... or else...
OFFICIAL CORRESPONDENCE
Ximean Ministry of State
ATTN: Pancaketopian State Department
The Lord Commander of the Free Lands of Ximea is more than happy to recognize the newly-won sovereignty of your nation. However, as one member of the international community to another, we beseech you to accept some humble advice from a nation with a long and rich history in this world:
1. The availability of Y00-Ranium and PL00-Tonium do make it possible for fledgeling nations to build weapons of mass destruction; however, these weapons are not standard nuclear devices but rather "n00ks," and their effects are easily dissipated by a well-calibrated IGNORE shield (see below).
2. This world contains hundreds of billions, possibly trillions, of people in thousands of nations. Some of these nations boast populations numbering in the billions. Others have advanced space fleets with weapons which could irradiate an entire planet. It would be wise not to try to intimidate them.
3. There is a technology in this world more powerful than any nuclear weapon: IGNORE technology. A product of esoteric research into practical applications of the Greater Technobabble Theory, IGNORE tech allows its users to alter the very nature and continuity of space-time, thus rewriting attacks, skirmishes, and battles out of history, or armies and even whole nations out of existence.
This technology is most frequently deployed in IGNORE shields, which can resist even the most powerful n00ks, and IGNORE cannons, which could eliminate your entire strategic force with the push of a big red button. Ximea's Ministry of Science and Technology (Theoretical Physics Division, Handwavium Department) has been experimenting with this technology for quite some time; a resulting disaster caused our nation to disappear entirely for several years, re-emerging with substantial continuity-based irregularities.
As with all immensely powerful weapons, use of IGNORE technology is frowned upon, but the frequent emergence of rogue nations makes its presence an unfortunate necessity in the world today.
We encourage the nation of PancakeTopia to join the UN and get along nicely with the other nations for the time being.
Tootles;
Minister Dwayne Grisham
Ministry of State, Ximea