Pre-WC23 Baptism of Fire Cup :: Rosters/RP/Scores thread [Archive]

Prolaterian Pandas

26-05-2005, 18:24

Meet the Pandas

(SOKOLOV, PP) Prolaterian Pandas manager Conrad Sharp revealed the 18 player roster which will be suiting up in Vilita and Fmjphoenix for the Baptism of Fire Cup, thus confirming the nations’ participation in the event. This team marks a transition in Pandas’ football and something of a changing of the guard, as several young players are being given their shot in an effort to build for the future. Prolaterian Pandas has never been known as a footballing nation, since they lack a professional league, but government and their money now seem keen on establishing this nation as a force in football. Here is the roster for the Prolaterian Pandas.

Starters

GK – 1 – Daniel St. Hubbins (Age: 32) Positionally sound goalkeeper with great football IQ and sure hands. This wily veteran has a knack for breaking up plays before they become dangerous. Though he’s lost a step through age and his well-documented knee problems have made him lose some of his quickness, he’s still a rather steady option between the uprights.

DF – 2 – Montego Jones (Age: 25) Fantastic left back with sensational pace. He’s a force over on the side of the pitch and very hard to beat one on one. Jones loves to support the attack and sometimes goes on brilliant runs up the flank His zeal for the offensive side of the game sometimes costs him as he leaves the defence vulnerable for counter-attacks. Some pundits argue he is the best player on the team.

DF – 3 – Jorge Pulz (Age: 31) Pulz is the anchor of the Prolaterian Pandas’ defense. An intelligent defender with great tackling and heading ability, Pulz is a force within the box. He’s a somewhat unexciting player however, always going for the safe play, so you won’t see many fans dawn the number 3 jersey, but he remains an extremely effective defender.

DF – 4 – Biff Oglethorpe (Age: 22) Biff plays a crude style which sees him get into card trouble frequently. He’s mobile, tackles hard and well, clears the box out well and has size. The problem with Biff is he’s a bit of a loose cannon with a short fuse. He was banned for life from the Prolaterian Pandas “A” League late in the season, after kicking a referee in the testicles repeatedly after receiving a red card from a prior incident (Attn. Transfer Seekers). If Biff can somehow keep his emotions in check during the tournament, he could be a force on the backline for the Pandas, as he is an extremely talented defender.

DF – 5 – Lupe Nocioni (Age 29) One pundit perhaps summed up Nocioni’s play best when he likened him to a bran muffin, “regular, but unexciting”. Lupe isn’t the most gifted player or athlete, but he competes every game and he gives it everything he’s got. Nocioni began his career as something of a fringe player and hard work has gotten him this far, and he’ll be looking to make a lasting impression on the Pandas’ brass.

MF – 6 – Simeon Huth (Age: 30) Another heart and soul player for the Pandas. Huth’s conditioning level is through the roof, he can buzz around the pitch for 90 minutes or more. He’s a decent passer with good vision, but possesses very little in the way of offensive intangibles. However, Huth’s role on the team is not to score goals, but more as a defensive midfielder, as he can often be spotted swinging out to help the back four.

MF – 7 – Dung Onmai Shu (Age: 20) As the youngest starter on this Prolaterian Panda team, Onmai Shu exhibits a maturity in his game far beyond his years. Dung is one the Prolaterian Pandas’ most promising young players, already displaying a complete game. He’s a smart player who tackles, runs, heads, passes and shoots the ball well. There are no glaring weaknesses in his game and he should be an integral part of future Panda teams as he will only get better with age.

MF – 8 – Alex Marinho (Age: 23) Flashy midfielder with a tremendous knack for moving the ball and dribbling. He’s a crafty player who is often called upon for set pieces, either to bend in fantastic curves or to unleash his powerful shot. Marinho is probably the most talented player on the side, but many feel his sub-par conditioning prevents him from being the dominant player he could be.

MF – 9 – Calypso Martins (Age: 27) Diminutive player with great finish and offensive awareness. Martins is a shifty, speedy player who makes precise, explosive cuts with the ball to find space to release his wicked shot. He possesses good dribbling skills and superb poise with the ball and isn’t afraid to control it for that extra second in order to find a lane to shoot or pass. Though Martins is usually playing somewhere between the attackers and the rest of the midfielders, he can also win the ball relatively well. Voted as the nation’s player of the year, he’ll have to carry a great deal of the workload if the Prolaterian Pandas hope to make a run in the Baptism of Fire cup.

AT – 10 – Mike Greenaway (Age: 24) An absolute speedster with unworldly athletic gifts. Greenaway used to dominate on his high school track team in the sprinting (has been clocked running 10.4s for the 100m) and jumping events, but decided to commit himself to football instead of track and field. Greenaway has decent touch and passable dribbling skills, but the main part of his game is his athleticism. He’s relatively weak and not overly creative, but he times his runs well and that keeps defenders modest since very few can match his pace.

AT – 11 – (C) Eusebio Banks (Age: 35) Once referred to as “Money in the Bank”, Eusebio has seen better days and he has already announced the upcoming World Cup will be his last international appearance. For years, Banks was the Pandas’ standout player, but as of late he has been called “Old Money”. Banks still boasts great first touch and finishing abilities, but his lack of pace and fitness has him usually being subbed out before the 2/3rds mark of the game. Banks can still get the job done in the box, and playing along side a rocket like Greenaway, Banks just might find the space to operate for one last hurrah.

Substitutes
GK – 16 – Shawn Foster (Age: 22) Sensational athlete who needs a little extra seasoning to make it big on the next level.
DF – 12 – Toulouse Laurent (Age: 34) Though he has slowed down a bit, look for him to get the call when the Pandas are looking to protect a lead.
DF – 13 – Sasha Starkov (Age: 22) Has really come on late in the season. One to look out for in future cups.
MF – 14 - Guardado Nelson (Age: 32) Solid offensive midfielder who has fallen out of favour with the emergence of some of the younger players.
MF – 15 – Isidore Sharp (Age: 26) Decent player, though he probably wouldn’t have gotten a look if his uncle wasn’t managing the team.
AT – 17 – Valeri Ryder (Age: 18) Exciting young player with a lot of flash. With this being Eusebio’s swan song, look for Ryder to try to make an impression on manager Conrad Sharp.

Vtorbetin

26-05-2005, 20:38

Vtorbetin - The Next Generation

Let's face it - Vtorbetin haven't had the best of sporting luck so far. The record currently stands at played seven, lost seven, and will probably be played ten, lost ten in 24 hours time. However, after extensive research by the country's top scientists, the qualities of the game-winning player have been codified. A nationwide competition was held to find those men who fitted the bill, and would represent the country in the Baptism Of Fire Cup. Here are the results:

The Manager

Tony Brasket (Age 54) - Brasket proved himself to be the best man for the job, after successful steering a herd of sheep round an obstacle course in just fifty-eight seconds. He has video tapes of every football game in existence which, whilst being a little bit sad, could come in handy.

The Goalkeeper

Von Bietsch (Age 27) - Named like a dutchman and built like a powerhouse, little is going to get past Bietsch in this tournament. His colossal size does make him a little slow, but his sheer surface area more than makes up for this. At weekends, he likes to knit jumpers and make daisy chains.

The Defenders

Graig Mesias (Age 31) - One of the oldest members of the team, Mesias' experience should prove vital in the center of Vtorbetin's back four. Despite being a little injury-prone, he's never afraid to get stuck in, and should prove a formidable opponent.

Isreal Dooney (Age 20) - Accompanying Mesias in the center of defence, Dooney has a lot to live up to. Luckily for him, he was young Vtorbetite of the year, so he should be fine there. His specialties are blocking, blistering pace and a knack for making curries.

Malik Birdon (Age 26) - Birdon learnt his game the hard way - on the dusty streets of Vtorbetin. His rustic upbringing shows in his style of play, and he could bring on bouts of nostalgia for the older fans of the game. Expect hard challenges and a never-say-die attitude from him.

Benedict Nuniz (Age 23) - Has proved his worth time after time in the amateur leagues, but is now looking to make it big in the world of international football. A good knowledge of the game and excellent foot-eye coordination should help him there.

The Midfielders

Keneth Fahner (Age 27) - Rumoured to be on the verge of the team captaincy, Fahner has shone for his club this season. His tactical awareness will make him a key figure in any Brasket side, and there similar way of seeing the game will undoubtedly be a bonus to the team.

Arnoldo Fignar (Age 24) - One of the more 'artistic' members of the team, expect Fignar to showboat on occasions. Don't be fooled, though - he's more than just a pretty face. He has a strong body, and will ride with the challenges almost every time.

Lynwood Merithew (Age 33) - By far the most experienced man on the team, having competed in numerous domestic cup finals. Will treat every game like it's his last, and while this attitude may make him appear overexcited, underneath his sharp mind will be taking it all in.

Asa Cardoni (Age 19) - Perhaps a surprise inclusion on the team, Cardoni is one of the least experienced players in the squad. However, Brasket has been quoted saying that he 'has his reasons' for the selection, so we're expecting something amazing. We just don't know what.

The Strikers

Francesco Kmatx (Age 21) - Has been in explosive form this season (scoring 51 goals in 43 games), but is, unbelievably, yet to reach his peak. It would be welcome in this tournament, as goals are going to be needed, especially on Vtorbetin's current international form, where they've never conceded fewer than three goals in a match.

Jere Ka (Age 22) - Set to be the star of the side, Ka was brought up in a far away country to be a sporting dojo. Some of the acrobatics he performs verge on the impossible, and it appears that no defence is a match for him. A lot is expected, and surely a lot will be received

And The Rest...

GK Warner Delling (Age 19)
GK Porter Bejil (Age 18)
DF Waylon Losavio (Age 24)
DF Antione Bunzey (Age 25)
DF Wally Bradtke (Age 17)
MF Jude Jelome (Age 27)
MF Lauren Lashlee (age 30)
MF Lonny Paulic (Age 21)
ST Ike Delilla (Age 20)
ST Eldridge Floerchinger (Age 21)

__________________________
| | |__| | |
| | VB | |
| |________| |
| |
| GM ID MB BN |
| |
| |
| AF |
|________________________|
| |
| KF LM AC |
| |
| |
| FK JK |
| ________ |
| | | |
| | __ | |
|_______|__|__|__|_______|

And so, with the team raring to go, the whole of Vtorbetin is waiting for the tournament to begin. As the only Lancrastian team in the competition, the whole of the region will surely be behind them, and with the 'financial' backing of the great Sirocco, expect the team to get very far. The BoF is renowned for creating some of the greatest names in sporting history. Teams such as Fmjphoenix, Legalese, Turori, Krytenia, Druida and South Osettia (the only team ever to win the tournament twice) have all passed through unscathed, and Vtorbetin aims to be the next name on the list of teams to get their hands on this trophy. The whole of Lancre is behind you, Vtorbetites. Go out there and get some attention. Never again will we be called Vatorbettians!

And Now A Word From Our Broadcasting Center...

Throughout the Baptism Of Fire Tournament, VTV (Vtorbetin Television) will be showing all the action live. See all the matches of all the teams using VTV Interactive services. Simply press your elephant-shaped button, and enter a world of digitally-enhanced crap that no-one really wants to watch or indeed cares about. Also, join us every evening at six for our special BoF programme, The Baptism Of Fire Show, where Worzel Partridge will be keeping you up to date with all the latest news and gossip. If you want to find out the latest team news, or who was the last person to use the bathroom, this is the show for you. Every day a panel of special guests will be discussing the latest sports issues. We want you to keep up with the Cup, so don't miss any of the action - only on VTV.

Don't have VTV? Simply turn on your television - that usually works.

Kericia

26-05-2005, 21:45

Kericia Roster Unveiled

KNS
May 26 05

Today was a historic day for soccer fans across Kericia, a day in which the roster was announced for Kericia's first national soccer team. Many coaches have been working with the players trying out, and the head coach and assistants have been selected as well as the players. These players will compete in the Baptism of Fire, and finally World Cup 23, in a 3-5-2 formation.

-Starters in Bold-

Head Coach: Ken Peterson
Asst Coach: Mike Quirk

Goalkeepers:

#0 Byron McMichel - Player notes: The athletic 21 year old out of Northwest Kericia College is on thin ice as a starter. Any poor games, and he's on the bench.

#1 John Spuhler - Player notes: 33 year old Spuhler competed with McMichel for the starting job, but Spuhler's age has limited his ability.

#30 Joe Gallo - Player notes: 26 year old plagued with injuries. Not expected to see time.

Defense:

#14 Aaron Massey - Player notes: Very aggressive 23 year old. Fast for his size.

#19 Kurt Cedarholm - Player notes: Star defensmen led his college to national championship. 20 years old.

#25 Chris Williams - Player notes: Solid player throughout pro career. 31 years old.

#22 Robert Cornell - Player notes: Inconsistancy landed 28 year old Cornell on the bench.

#26 Shawn Bullard - Player notes: Tough, big player that lacks ball handiling skills.

Midfielders:

#2 Jason Popovich - Player notes: Great speed and strong legs make up for small stature. 24 years old.

#17 Justin Alric - Player notes: Oldest player on team at 39. Has loads of experience. Underperforms sometimes at crucial times at the end of games.

#10 Mathew Behrendt - Player notes: Quick, young player at 23 that scores a lot of goals.

#6 Matt Glannon - Player notes: 27 year old with spectacular endurance and energy.

#16 Paul Palucci - Player notes: Struggles with shots, otherwise a decent 32 year old player.

#9 Danny Hammer - Player notes: 31 years old.

#15 Jeffrey Bryce - Player notes: 20 years old.

#11 Chet Lunt - Player notes: 35 year old with a nagging knee injury.

Forwards:

#18 John Krueger - Player notes: Experienced winning in college and pros. Great speed, so-so shooting ability. 31 years old.

#24 Josh Schooley - Tremendous passer and shooter. Maybe MVP of team at 23 years old.

#4 D.J. Long - Player notes: 34 years old.

#8 Chris Krueger - Player notes: Twin brother of John. Seems to play better when on the field with his brother.

#13 Cooper Brehm - Player notes: At 19, youngest player on team.

Buben

27-05-2005, 05:09

With the Imperial Empire never fielding a national team for anything, it of-course became a big deal for the nation wether they win or loose. With-in days of hearing the news for sign up, managment and coaching positions were filled and a team picked from Buben's finest football players was put together.

National Team of The Imperial Empire

Team Roster:

Attackers

#18 Said Ali, Forward
6' 00 - 180 lbs
24 Years Old

#19 Carlo Corazzin, Forward
5' 11 - 170 lbs
33 Years Old

#26 Jason Jordan, Forward
5' 10 - 170 lbs
26 Years Old

Midfielders

#7 Martin Nash, Midfielder/Forward
5' 11 - 170 lbs
29 Years Old

#11 Davide Xausa, Midfielder/Forward
6' 00 - 180 lbs
29 Years Old

#2 Jeff Clarke, Midfielder
5' 09 - 170 lbs
27 Years Old

#13 Tino Cucca, Midfielder
160 lbs
21 Years Old

#27 Steve Frazao, Midfielder
165 lbs
21 Years Old

#17 Joey Gjertsen, Midfielder
6'' 00 - 155 lbs
22 Years Old

#3 Steve Klein, Midfielder
6' 00 - 176 lbs
30 Years Old

#9 Alfredo Valente, Midfielder
5' 06 - 155 lbs
24 Years Old

Defenders

#20 Dave Morris, Defender/Midfielder
6' 02 - 172 lbs
27 Years Old

#8 Steve Kindel, Defender/Midfielder
5' 08 - 155 lbs
28 Years Old

#4 Nick Dasovic, Defender
6' 01 - 180 lbs
36 Years Old

#14 Liam de Silva, Defender
183 lbs
27 Years Old

#22 Chris Franks, Defender
5' 11 - 170 lbs
31 Years Old

#16 Kevin Harmse, Defender
6' 01 - 185 lbs
20 Years Old

#12 Geordie Lyall, Defender
5' 11 - 165 lbs
28 Years Old

#6 Mark Watson, Defender
180 lbs
34 Years Old

Goalkeepers
#29 Srdjan Djekanovic, Goalkeeper
172 lbs
22 Years Old

#1 Mike Franks, Goalkeeper
6' 05 - 200 lbs
28 Years Old

#0 Josh Wicks, Goalkeeper
6' 01 - 195 lbs
21 Years Old

Spruitland

27-05-2005, 07:01

SFA President Martin Backer entered Olav Nett’s office in his natural state of urgency, causing the Minister of Sports’ card house to crumble just as he was about to put the last two cards on top.

“Dammit Martin, don’t you know how to knock!?” But Backer ignored his remark and tossed a piece of paper onto the desk.

“Better reply to that. High priority.”

“What’s that?” Olav let his curiosity overcome his annoyance and started reading.

“From the BoF hosts. They want us to confirm our interest in participating.”

“Confirm our –?” Olav finished reading the message, then shook his head. “I don’t get it. Didn’t we already officially sign up for the BoF? With the World Cup Committee, no less?”

“Yup. Guess that’s not good enough for these Vilita/Fmjphoenix folks,” Martin shrugged. “Maybe they want to feel all special, get some personalized mail and what not. Just send them a quick reply and be done with it.”

“I don’t like it,” Olav said, skimming over the message again. “First they want us to confirm our application, then they’ll confirm our confirmation, then we have to confirm their confirmation of our confirmation, and before you know it, you’re in one of those endless loops, like those horrible “no, you hang up first” phone conversations with my mistress! Just because she’s only seventeen, doesn’t mean that she – Anyway, right. I say we just ignore them.”

“Sir, I don’t think that’s such a good idea. We’re likely to lose our spot in the tournament.”

“Nonsense, Martin. We were Quarter Finalists at the last Under-21 World Cup. I’d say that’s plenty of confirmation that we want to play ball, don’t you agree?”

“No, Sir, I don’t.” Backer spoke slowly, with obvious difficulty to keep his voice civil. He put his hands on Olav’s desk and leaned forward. “And may I remind the Minister that our entire adult population is looking forward to the Baptism of Fire with high expectations? 87 percent of our working citizens have taken time off from work. If someone was to mess up, causing us to be excluded from this tournament, that someone would not be likely to get many votes at the next election.”

“Good point,” the Minister nodded, frowning slightly. He looked at the message again, then shrugged.

“Alright, I still don’t like it, but I’ll reply to this ludicrous request anyway. I’ll just make sure to phrase it diplomatically.”

With an annoyed flip of the hand he dismissed the SFA President and got to work.

Greetings,

We realize your request for confirmation was meant for the other teams, and the Spruitland team naturally already has a spot reserved, but for the sake of common courtesy we decided to reply to your little generic message anyway.
There is no need to bother informing us of our acceptance into the tournament though – consider it done. We’ll be arriving in Vilita shortly.

Sincerely,

Olav Nett
Minister of Sports
Spruitland

Hypocria

27-05-2005, 08:51

FA chief Alex Scott looked at the letter again, he was sure he had already confirmed Hypocria’s Baptism of Fire place. Perhaps he had dreamt it. Nevertheless the letter had arrived from Fmjphoenix and he sure as hell wouldn’t be the one to ruin the nations BoF chances, he would leave that to the players. He had a copy of the team roster with him and was putting it in an envelope when a thought struck him. Maybe the whole thing is an elaborate plot to get him to reveal Hypocria’s team early, that had to be it. An elaborate plot that can only have been dreamed up in one place, Spruitland. But how would they get hold of the roster? They must have spies planted in Vilita and Fmjphoenix, it was obvious really. Scott chuckled,

“A cunning plan Olav but I’ve figured it out”, he said to his empty office. “I’ll play along and reply to this letter but you’ll have to wait to see our team.”

Dear Sirs,

I am writing to confirm Hypocria’s participation in the Baptism of Fire competition. After our recent success in reaching the Quarter Final of Under-21 World Cup 16 the people cannot wait for another chance to watch their national team on the world stage. I will submit our confirmed BoF squad nearly the start date as you never know who might be watching, that and at present a number of our squad are playing for their clubs in the Takil Cup.

We are looking forward to competing in Vilita or Fmjphoenix.

Alex Scott
Hypocria Football Association
Hypocrium

After an aide had taken the letter to be copied and sent to both host nations Scott poured himself a brandy and smiled, those Spruitlanders couldn’t fool him.

Vtorbetin

27-05-2005, 11:34

“Has anyone seen my glasses?” The staff continued whatever it was they were doing, nobody even taking the time to glance over at Arlen Beseke, the man in charge of Vtorbetin’s Baptism of Fire plight.

Okay…so you’re all ignoring me…I can deal with that…sure I can. Even his thoughts weren’t filling him with confidence.

“Right, I’m just gonna go…look for my glasses.” The end of the sentence was barely audible, so once again there was no reply.

“If anybody wanted to reply to anything I say…you don’t have to ask, or anything, you can just…feel free to come out and reply…” Nobody took Arlen up on his offer. He decided to try again with them later, and retired to his office to find the missing spectacles. There he found the one person who regularly replied to his questions, and indeed sometime replied when there wasn’t even a question to reply to, his assistant, Lesia Kulbeth. She was currently busy tapping away at her keyboard, and staring intently at a computer screen.

“I can’t find my glasses.”

“Uh-huh. Have you tried on top of that big stack of paper on your desk? That’s where they usually are.” Lesia didn’t take her eyes of the screen.

“No, that was the first place I checked.”

“Really? I say ‘really?’ because it’s usually the last place you check, even though I always say ‘they’re probably on your desk’, and you always say ‘I think if they were on my desk, I would have found them by now’, and then you spend the next fifteen minutes looking for them, only to find that I was right all along and they were on top of the big stack of paper on your desk.”

“Well…they’re definitely not there today.”

“Then I’m stumped.” Lesia still hadn’t averted her eyes from the computer screen.

“You know, a good assistant would stop whatever she was doing and help me look for my glasses. You know what you are? A bad assistant, that’s what you are.”

“Yeah…doesn’t that kinda suck for you?” Arlen was about to reply with something witty when he noticed the whole not-looking-away-from-the-screen thing.

“What’re you doing anyway?”

“I’m just filling out this confirmation form.”

“Confirmation form? For what?”

“Our entry into the Baptism Of Fire Cup.”

“We have to confirm our entry into the Baptism Of Fire Cup?”

“Yeah.”

“I didn’t know we have to confirm our entry into the Baptism Of Fire Cup.”

“It’s just to ensure that those nations who entered ages ago still exist and are still interested.”

“See, I didn’t know that.” Lesia finally looked away from the screen.

“How did you get this job, Arlen?” She smiled seductively…although not ‘I want to rip your trousers off right here, right now’ seductively, but more ‘I don’t want you, but hell, let’s have some fun’ seductively.

“Probably the same way you got that job.”

“What, by having sex with the head of the FA?”

“…er…perhaps not the same way you got that job.” Lesia chuckled, turned back to the screen, and tapped the ‘Enter’ key, in an almost triumphant fashion.

“There, all done. We’re now officially in the Baptism Of Fire Cup.”

“Great! We can celebrate later, but first I’ve gotta find my glasses.”

“Oh, wait, I’ve got them.” Lesia pulled the brown case out of her nearby handbag and passed it to Arlen. He opened it, and sure enough, there were his glasses.

“So you knew where they were all along, huh?”

“Yep.”

“You were just having a little fun with me there, right?”

“Yep.”

“…okay. I’ve got to…er…do…something.” There was a long pause, followed by, “Bye.”

(OOC: Hopefully this, and the above roster, confirms our interest. Good luck to all who take part, and may the best team win.)

Hypocria

27-05-2005, 14:07

Inside the conference room in the Football Association Headquarters in Hypocrium the FA’s hierarchy had assembled, called by their leader to discuss a very serious and increasingly urgent matter. FA chief Alex Scott cleared his throat and addressed the men in suits.

“Gentleman, we have worked hard now for years trying to put Hypocria on the football map. We created the U21 team, we got the stadiums renovated, the academies built, the new national stadium is ready, the league has been modernised and now the senior national team is all set to compete in its first ever international tournament. But gentlemen, there is a problem, our national side has no nickname.”

A muttering could be heard as the suits around the conference table processed this information. A hand rose.

“Why not call them The Hyppos, like the U21 side?”

“No. We need something much more powerful, something that says we are going to be real challenge to our opponents.”

A second hand rose.

“Actually I believe the correctly pluralized version is Hyppopotami.”

“That’s not helping. Ok people we need a nickname and we’re not leaving here until we’ve got one.”

tick tick tick

“The Hyppies?”

“God no!”

“The Hyppogriffs?”

“What’s a Hyppogriff?”

tick tick tick

“The generic nickname?”

“I don’t think your taking this very seriously.”

tick tick tick

“The Hamsters?”

“It doesn’t have to begin with an H you know?”

tick tick tick

“Come on gentlemen. We’ve been in here for four hours now. Someone must have a good idea.”

tick tick tick

“Is he alright? He hasn’t moved for ages. Give him a nudge.”

tick tick tick

“Ok that’s W – A – R – T – H – O – G. Right, 12 down, a prophet, 4 letters and the last letter is an r. Anyone?”

tick tick tick

The meeting had now crossed the seven hour mark. A junior member of the association was staring at a picture on the wall, it was a portrait of Titus Drax, undisputed ruler of Hypocria. He started think, Titus? Titus? Wait a minute!

“Titans? He blurted out. What about The Titans?”

“Titans? I do believe that’s it!” The relief in the room was obvious, a couple of the older members burst into tears. “And as a bonus it sounds like it’s dedicated to the President. It’s powerful and sycophantic. It’s perfect. From this moment on the Hypocrian national football team will be known as . . .

The Titans

"Thank you gentlemen. Now that wasn't so difficult was it?"

Kassyyk

27-05-2005, 15:28

Raging Reds Ready for the Fire?

Presidential Palace, Aronica -

After the U21 Reds played themselves into the quarterfinals of the Under 21 World Cup the people of Kassyyk have been anxious to see whether or not their National squad can garner similar results. Spirits are high and early indications are that U21 manager Brandt Kromm will be offered the helm of all Raging Red teams on the pitch. No squad list has been released yet, but one is expected very soon as Kassyyk prepares to test itself in the Cup of Fire.

Spruitland

28-05-2005, 12:47

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y197/Spruitland/sportsgazette.jpg

Cor Bensen promoted

Cor Bensen, ex-referee and head coach of the Spruitland Bunnies at Under-21 World Cups 15 and 16, has been promoted to coach Spruitland’s senior squad. Bensen managed to turn the Bunnies from clueless debutants at WC15 into Quarter Final contenders at WC16, and now the nation depends on him to do the same with the Spruitland Wabbits.

As a first step towards fame and success, Bensen will attempt to lead the Wabbits towards victory in the pre-World Cup 23 Baptism of Fire tournament.

“Ridiculous!” says the unshaven dude who sells pretzels on street corners and has an opinion on everything. “Our youngsters have played in two major tournaments and even made it to the Quarter Finals! We don’t belong in no miserable newcomer-cup!”

“Well, pretzel-dude is wrong,” Bensen says. “We may be doing fine with our Under-21 squad, but on a senior level, we’re starting from scratch. And competition is more fierce, so it won’t be quite as easy. Doing well in the BoF will help us along a fair way.”

The Honors List of the Baptism of Fire contains a few nations that have evolved into major players on the international football scene. Dance 2 Revolution, the first BoF winner, went on to a second and third place in World Cups 17 and 19; Turori, while not having won any major events yet, is currently ranked number 5 in the world; and Sarzonia, winners of the pre-WC 16 BoF, are the current World Champions.

On the other hand, nations like Eystrck and Maserrat, winners of BoF pre-WC 17 and 18, have since disappeared into the void.

“Winning the Baptism of Fire isn’t a guarantee for future success,” Cor Bensen shrugs. “But we still want to do well, preferably even win it. It’s kinda like losing your virginity. You only get one shot at it, so you wanna do it right.”

Team Overview

Coach: Cor Bensen (45) – record: 5-1-3

Goalkeepers:

1. Simon Briers (21, GK), Sporting Mayo – 0 caps (9 U-21 caps, 10 conceded)
Least passed goalie in the First Division, impressed in the Under-21 squad and expected to be Spruitland’s senior goalie for a long time.

12. Elmer Holt (27, GK), RFC Godiva – 0 caps
Had a good season with RFC Godiva, very consistant.

22. Johan Verbeek (25, GK), FC Albertine – 0 caps
Had a bit of a crappy season, but has shown his talent in the past. Not expected to leave the bench.

Defenders:

2. Marino Vegnol (28, DR), Fonstown Rovers – 0 caps
Tackle-strong, head-strong, decent passing. Only lacks the pace to be a world-class defender. As it is, he’s just very good.

3. Asa Noegel (24, DL), Sporting Mayo – 0 caps
Fast, talented wing back with a killer cross. Expected to play a big role in the Wabbits’ defense in coming years.

4. Nico Van Dyck (21, DC), Thiel United – 0 caps (9 U-21 caps)
The Bunnies’ captain at two U-21 World Cups, strong Van Dyck is already one of the more experienced Spruitland players, despite his youth.

5. Laszlo Bosch (27, DC), New Brux FC – 0 caps
Solid central defender, strong with his head, scores regularly on corners and indirect free kicks.

15. Fabiano Vos (28, DRC), Sporting Mayo – 0 caps
Technical defender, strong at set pieces. Prefers to play in the center, but can play on the right as well.

16. Nicolas Romeijn (22, DC), RFC Godiva – 0 caps
Impressive first season in the First Division, man in form. To watch for the future.

21. Pete Peeters (30, DLC), Sativa Stoners – 0 caps
Mature left-footer, lacks some pace but reliable and determined.

Midfielders:

6. Frederic Juneau (29, MC, captain), Sativa Stoners – 0 caps
Solid, defensive-minded midfielder. Model professional, gets along with everybody.

7. Samson Trouwel (22, AMR), Cranbury United (Druida) – 0 caps (4 U-21 caps, 1 goal)
Emerged at U21WC15, went on to play an integral part in Sporting Mayo’s championship run, earning him the Man of the Season award and a lucrative transfer to Druida. He should get several assists, and might score a few as well.

8. Waldo Gelmer (23, AMC), Fonstown Rovers – 0 caps
Eccentric attacking midfielder, his speed and unpredictability earning him the nickname “Where’s Waldo?” Can suddenly show up anywhere on the field.

11. Balt Luyckx (26, AML), Thiel United – 0 caps
Dribble-strong left winger, decent pace, set pieces specialist. Balt will be the one taking direct free kicks and corners. Weak spot: his right foot.

14. Louis Pierre (25, AMRC), Sativa Stoners – 0 caps
Energetic attacking midfielder, can play right wing as well. Scores easily.

17. Thadeus Quintin (24, AMLC), Fonstown Rovers – 0 caps
Aggressive left winger, keeps going til he drops, which he occasionally does.

19. Fisk Zachariah (23, MC), Jonesville City – 0 caps
Coming man for the central midfielder spot. Not too consistant, but can bring magic on a good day.

20. Jeff Wong (24, AM/FC), Thiel United – 0 caps
Can play midfield or attack, but either way better at assists than scoring goals.

Forwards:

9. Jan Wolters (25, ST), RFC Godiva – 0 caps
Ex-DM transformed into a powerhouse forward, can lean on a defense and play with his back to the goal. Topscorer in the First Division.

10. Dirk Jools (20, ST), FC Albertine – 0 caps (9 U-21 caps, 6 goals)
Spruitland’s football superstar and U21 topscorer. Has a big mouth, but can usually back it up on the field.

13. Ben Thorsen (28, ST), Thiel United – 0 caps
Pacey little fellow, with a surprising amount of power in his short legs.

18. Edmund Kidder (27, ST), Sporting Mayo – 0 caps
Intelligent striker, can be invisible most of the match and decide the game with a sudden touch of brilliance.

Team Kit:
http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y197/Spruitland/SPRkit.jpg

I Give My Opponents Permission To:

Choose Scorers: Y
GodMod Goalscoring Events: Y

Injure Players: N
GodMod Injury Events N

Red Card Players: N
Yellow Card Players: Y
GodMod Other Events: Y

Hypocria

29-05-2005, 01:28

Baptism of Fire Squad – Hypocria

The Staff

National Coach

Guylain N’Dumbu-Nsungu
Former national coach of Starblaydia at both Under-21 and senior level. He lead the Under-21 side to a third place finish at U21 World Cup 5 and took the senior side to the quarter finals of World Cup 17. Left the Starblaydia helm after a poor finals performance at World Cup 21. Joined Hypocria shortly before the World Cup 22 final.

Assistant Coach

Matthias DiMarco
A favoured pawn of the FA, DiMarco was Hypocria’s first U21 coach before losing the post to former Crystilakere boss Boubacar Dragov in a reshuffle after a 7-0 hammering at the hands of The Gaian Ascendancy at U21 World Cup 15. Had been Dragov’s assistant at the last U21 cup and is now filling the same role for the new senior coach. Had initially been favourite for the senior position until the FA opted for a more experienced candidate.

Various other coachs, physios and general hangers-on.

The Titans

Goalkeepers

1. Ricardo Kindelan (24, Pylos Reavers)
Unsurprisingly the man considered Hypocria’s finest keeper for quite some time is the chosen number one. Conceded just 19 goals last season, the best record in the top flight.

13. Alex Derevko (20, Hypocrium City)
An ever present for the U21 side, winning 8 caps. Has firmly established himself in goal for the league champions. Could be a star for years to come.

22. Rick “Shaky” Shakes (33, Kester Town)
Made a surprise pre-season move to the Hyper League new boys after losing his place at Hypocrium City to Derevko last season. Hugely experienced and a cult figure in Hypocria. Also helping out as goalkeeping coach.

Defenders

2. Chris Golla (18, FC Pydna)
The youngest member of the squad. Had a good U21 tournament playing as a wingback but will have to curb his attacking instincts slightly and concentrate more on defending while playing on the right in N’Dumbu-Nsungu’s preferred flat back four.

3. Ricky Poskas (20, Hypocrium City)
Also used as a wingback at U21 level. Excellent going forward but, like Golla, will have to focus more on the defensive side of his game playing as a more conventional left back. Has also played on the left of midfield.

5. Karl Nalepka (22, DLO)
Another graduate of the U21 team. Nalepka is a solid central defender with plenty of pace but there are those who question his temperament.

6. Paul Blake (26, Hypocrium City)
Regarded as the best defender in the Hyper League. It remains to be seen whether he can form a solid partnership with Nalepka at the heart of the back four. Expected to be named as captain.

12. Neil Flynn (32, Thraxus Rangers)
Veteran central defender who, if called upon, will add years of experience to the back line.

14. Craig Goodison (28, Hypocrium City)
Experienced defender who can play in the centre or on the right hand side of a back four. Will challenge Golla for the right back berth.

19. Andy Harris (26, FC Hypocrium)
Unlikely to be a first choice but will provide cover for the left back position. Can also play in the centre.

Midfielders

4. Marcus Baxter (20, DLO)
Captain of the U21 side and the raising star of Hypocrian football. A central midfielder player who specialises in breaking up attacks before releasing team mates with his wonderful range of passing. A dead ball specialist with a shot like a rocket. Is expected to leave DLO in the near future and will be playing to impress any potential buyers.

7. Theodore Petras (24, Pylos Reavers)
Tricky right winger with pace to burn. Gets into good positions and is capable of delivering excellent crosses into the box.

8. Roberto Braganza (22, RSC Joyce [Spruitland])
One day Braganza can look like a world beater, the next he can look woeful. The attacking midfielder has great skill and technique but seems to lack all consistency. Currently on loan in Spruitland away from local expectations. It remains to be seen how much of a part he will play.

11. Adam Whitmore (25, Hypocrium City)
Left winger who will stick to the touch line like glue.

15. Luc Sinclair (19, DLO)
Under-21 international with no flair to speak of but he knows what he is good at and sticks to it. Excellent, tough tackling central midfield player who breaks up attack after attack. Rarely crosses the halfway line.

17. Peter Costanzo (22, Bronkstone FC [Nedalia])
Played at U21 World Cup 15 as a wing back but has since been converted to a right sided midfield player. This makes him a better player in defensive positions than Petras but he lacks that cutting edge.

18. Bora Burdali (20, Pylos Reavers)
An attacking midfielder who is comfortable either playing through the middle or down the flanks. Another player with a big future ahead of him. His performances for the U21s showed his immense potential and his eye for goal.

21. Ryan Johnson (31, Tarsis Wonderers)
Experienced midfield player who is naturally left sided but can also play in the centre.

Forwards

9. Andrei Shirko (25, Hypocrium City)
The best natural finisher in the country and last season’s top goal scorer. Can seemingly score goals out of nothing. However he is not the strongest in the air.

10. Alex Liberda (22, Partizan Drissa)
Shot to prominence two seasons ago when moved from the left wing to a more central striking role and hasn’t looked back since. Partizan’s top scorer in each of the last two seasons and has been scoring goals for fun in the Takil Cup.

16. Gideon Varas (28, Pylos Reavers)
Most experienced of the strikers and probably the best in the air but suffers from a lack of pace. Will most likely be used as a substitute.

20. Danny West (19, Sporting Mayo [Spruitland])
Has hit 6 goals in 8 U21 appearances but remained largely on the sidelines as Hypocrium City. His U21 form got him a move to Spruitland champions Sporting Mayo where, after a slow start, he has started to find the net. A quick, tricky striker and a clinical finisher.

Formation

One of the first decisions the new coach made after his appointment was to dispense with the 5-3-2 formation favoured in Hypocria and replace it with his own favoured 4-4-2 diamond system that was used to such good effect by his Starblaydia side.

Likely Starting 11

Liberda Shirko

Burdali

Whitmore Petras

Baxter

Poskas Nalepka Blake(c) Golla

Kindelan

Caprine States

29-05-2005, 09:59

Sporting the brilliant red and white home jerseys of the Confederacy of Caprine States for the first time in the history of the country, the motley bunch of fellows that made up the national team jogged on to the pitch in The Istiklal, the largest stadium in the largest city within the Confederacy, Maviyol. An enormous throng--almost too big to be called a throng--of football fans and generally crazy individuals screamed and shouted with delight as the twenty-one goats and four humans emerged from the locker room, followed by the stately Head Coach Mustafa Akburun and the dazzling Assistant Coach Juliet Bonaventure.

It was almost too good to be true. Twenty years ago, the very idea of a national team for this nation within a nation was absurd. The Caprine States were not sovereign, nor would they ever be. This quickly changed--and very surprisingly too--when a small group of nationalist revolutionaries staged an insurrection. With precise victories in the beginning, they were able to rally the people to fight, and in a few short though bloody months the Confederacy of Caprine States was formed.

Everyone in the stadium had to be thinking about something like that. Or at least everyone old enough to remember the fight for independence. And if they weren't thinking about it then, Coach Akburun's brief speech would make them do so.

"Istiklal!" That first word drew a sudden, immense roar from the crowd. Istiklal was the name of the stadium, of course, but it was also a word that meant independence. Apparently the history of the Caprine States was on the minds of the people after all.

After the noise died down a little bit, Akburun continued, "Look at where we are! You are not grubbing through the sewers looking for food. These men and women before me are not playing on poorly maintained fields, earning wages that are just high enough to send their children to good schools. I am not standing here, behind this podium, with God knows how many damned microphones capturing every word I say so that corrupt government officials can determine whether or not I'm patriotic enough. You are here in your free Caprine States! They stand before you as your team! And I sing into these microphones the sweet sound of is-tik-lal!"

The noise was deafening. And it did not abate for quite a while; it was a few minutes before Akburun dared to speak into the microphone again. "My countrymen, I present to you your team. Feel pride."

There were more cheers accompanied by massive waving flags and twirling red scarves. What was now to be seen was the performance of this highly motivated but completely inexperienced squad.

Vtorbetin

29-05-2005, 12:59

duh, duh...duh......duh!

VTV Logo (http://www.vtv-rmg.be/ILLUSTR/logovtv.gif)

You're watching VTV, Vtorbetin's premiere sports, news and entertainment channel. It's six o'clock, and up next, it's the Baptism Of Fire Cup Show...

The Baptism Of Fire Cup Show

Hello, and welcome to the first instalment of the Baptism Of Fire Cup Show. I'm Worzel Partridge, and over the next few weeks, I'll be taking you through all the nooks and crannies of this enthralling tournament, at the end of which lies the cup that all new sporting nations want to get their hands on. Only one can, but who will it be this year? It's almost time to find out. Tonight we'll be looking at some of the runners and riders, as well as getting the opinions of our special panel of guests, which is today made up of former Maserratian and winner of the cup, Qostaze Ubuloy, world-renowned astronomer and psychic, Dr. Hermann Klipper, and coach of Vtorbetin's Lofthu Negalia, Joshua Hickson. But first our competition. Every day you have the chance to win two tickets to a BoF match of your choice. Today, all you have to do is answer this simple multiple choice question: which nation was the last to win the Baptism Of Fire Cup? Was it A Bettia, B Praying2God, or C Starblaydia? If you know the answer to that question, call the number at the bottom of your screens, and leave your details to be in with a chance of winning that fantastic prize.

On with the show, and now we're going to look at a few of the likely candidates for the title. You've been out there at the bookies for the past few days, and we caught up with a few of you to see who you put your money on:

"I think we're gonna win. We've got a strong team and we've got support in high places. We've got advice from a former winner, so we know what's required of us. I don't think anyone else has that."

"Hypocria have got a pretty good team, and I wouldn't put it past them to go far in the tournament. They've proved themselves on an U21 basis and I think the full team will be just as good."

"As much as I don't want to say it, I think Spruitland stand a decent chance of winning. They've been lucky in everything so far, and I wouldn't bet against them being lucky here too. In fact, I didn't."

"They're a bit of a dark horse, but I plumped for the Proletarian Pandas. They've had a little experience at this sort of thing before, and they're no doubt going to be the hosts' favourites, which'll work in their favour."

So we've got our four top teams here: Vtorbetin, of course, Hypocria, Spruitland and Proletarian Pandas. Let's see what our guests have to say on the issue. Now Qostaze, you've won this competition before - what does a team need to be the best here?

"I think the main characteristic of a winning team is endurance. You need to be able to put out good performances every single time, because if you don't, you're out - simple as that. Some teams have come here, realised how much work is required, and shrunk from it. The winner needs to embrace it."

So who do you think is going to embrace that work best?

"The four teams you've just mentioned are definitely candidates. I think they're all going to do pretty well...if I had to pick a winner...I'd go for Hypocria. I think the rivalry between Vtorbetin and Spruitland will mean they cancel each other out, and leave the way clear for this quiet, no-nonsense team."

Interesting. What do you think of that Josh?

"I disagree entirely. It's got to be us - we've got the players, we've got the backing, we've got the endurance...surely that has to be enough to get us the cup."

But we haven't got the experience of, say, Hypocria and Spruitland.

"Neither did Bettia. Neither did Liamist States. Experience helps, but it's not the be all and end all."

Okay. Dr Klipper, you're going to tell us what the stars say, is that right?

"That is correct. I will use a method called alphaprediction to select the winner of this tournament. If we start with Vtorbetin we can see an interesting relationship between the 'v' and the 't'. The intimacy between the two letters at the beginning suggest that the team will do well in the Group Stage. However, the syllabic structure of the name cancels out the effects of the 'i' at the end. The 't' and the 'n' overpower the vowel, and reflect a poor end to the tournament, perhaps a particularly heavy defeat. Hypocria is an interesting specimen. Teams containg the 'ia' diphthong tend to do well, such as Sarzonia, Starblaydia, et cetera. Unfortunately the three consonants at the beginning balance out the effects of the 'ia' meaning a rather average tournament for the team, perhaps a quarter finals defeat. Spruitland contains a very rare diphthong in the form of 'ui'. This is traditionally a very random sound, although a pattern has emerged as of late. The team tends to do well in a number of events, only to fail tragically when it really matters. This may be their last opportunity to do well before the downward spiral begins. Finally we have the Proletarian Pandas. Again we see the 'ia' diphthong, but we also see some additonal features. The use of the double 'p' magnifies the effects of any divination apparent. 'U' is seen as the trouble vowel, and as this team contains all vowels but 'u' this only adds to their good luck. I have a feeling that we may have a winner in the Proletarian Pandas."

Really? That's very interesting. So you've all gone for someone different to win. Only one of you can be right, and over the next few weeks we'll begin to see who has made the correct prediction. Unfortunately we've run out of time, so we'll see you next time on 'The Baptism Of Fire Cup Show', where I'll be joined by a new panel of guests, and we'll be discussing the history of the cup. See you then.

duh, duh...duh......duh!

VTV Logo (http://www.vtv-rmg.be/ILLUSTR/logovtv.gif)

You're watching VTV, Vtorbetin's premiere sports, news and entertainment channel. It's six thirty, and up next we have 'Naked Pigeon Wrestling'...

Bettia

30-05-2005, 17:24

"Blimey, its BofF time again."

"Already?"

"Yep, and you know what that means, don't you?"

"What, check out the competition? That Vtorbetin lot look good dont they? Mind you, if I was a betting man (which I'm not cos betting is illegal here) I'd either have to go with Spuitland or maybe Hyropcria. Not that I'm biased towards our fellow AO-ians or anything."

"Hyropcria? You mean Hypocria right? For crying out loud, they're are our next-door neighbours. You could at least spell... err, say it right!"

"Right. Anyway, what do you think?"

"Well, I think... hang on, you're changing the subject. I wasn't talking about the teams. What I'm trying to say is it's time for us to give the cup back."

"What cup?"

"You know, that big-ish silvery thing we won last time round?"

"Oh, the Baptism of Fire cup! Don't worry sir, I've already taken care of it. It's all packed away wrapped in cotton wool and we're just waiing for the couriers to pick it up!"

"Heh, looks like they're mind-readers. Here they come now. Go and get the cup, will you?"

"Okay..."

"Blimey, you took your time, didn't you? You're looking kinda pale too. What's wrong?"

"It's... the cup sir."

"What about it?"

"It's........ gone"

"HA HA HA HA HA!!! Phew, for a moment there, I thought you said it was gone!"

"But it is sir. "

"You've got to be k=joking."

"K=joking?"

"You know what I mean. Anyway, what do you mean 'its gone'?"

"Well... it is. I left it on my desk, all ready and wrapped up in green and yellow ribbons, and when I went to pick it up... it wasn't there."

"Oh give me strength! Right, you'd better go and find it then, hadn't you? Check all your drawers, all your cupboards, everything! I'll go and check downstairs. Maybe the cleaners picked it up or something. Whatever we do, we mustn't, I repeat MUSTN'T let anyone find out about this. We say nothing to no-one, you got it?"

"I don't think that'll be possible sir."

"Why not?"

"Well, this building's probably full of bugs. And of course there's that lot up there."

"What, you mean angels?"

"No, you know, those Vilitan spies in their orbital space station thingy. Chances are this conversation's being broadcast around the world for anyone to read, er, hear."

"Oh dear. I'm in trouble,aren't I?"

"Just find it."

Vtorbetin

30-05-2005, 17:42

Cup Uproar

On the eve of the Baptism Of Fire opening ceremony, rumours of an impending scandal are beginning to spread across the world. In a situation that seemingly mirrors the one a number of years ago, when the Druidans misplaced the World Cup, current BoF Champions Bettia have had the trophy stolen from the Football Association Headquarters. Our man in Bettia is speaking with Vtorbetin Ambassador to Bettia, Yersy Loughtin:

"Well...if anyone finds it, it'd be jolly nice of them to return it immediately to the Bettia FA."

"What does the trophy look like?"

"Well...it's big and...silver...er...it's shiny and...it's got...oh God, I don't know what it looks like! We're doomed! Aaaaaaaghhhhh!"

"Yersy Loughtin has just jumped into a puddle in an attempt to drown himself. It looks like a real crisis brewing here in Bettia. Back to the studio."

The cup was expected to be collected by Vilitan officials within the next 24 hours, but now the hunt is on to find the missing trophy before they get there. The Vilitans are renowned for their devilish good looks and short fuses, and if the trophy is not found, it is likely the nation of Bettia will be torn apart until it is found. We'll keep you posted on the latest news as we get it, here on VTV 25, the only 25-hour-a-day news station.

Hypocria

31-05-2005, 10:05

Alex Scott, head of Hypocria’s FA, flicked through the channels. He passed Vacuous Blonds Nightly and stopped momentarily on a film, Sisters of Vengeance, about crime fighting nuns.

It was no good, he needed some football. Finally he found what he was after, a show about the BoF no less. VTV? How was he picking up Vtorbetin television? No matter, football was football.

Scott watched with great interest as the show’s guests talked about the various nations and their chances. He raised his glass of Vodka to the television in salute to the former BoF winner from Maserrat who predicted Hypocria would win the trophy. He threw his glass at the television when Dr. Klipper appeared. A misguided member of the FA had asked the good doctor for advice on how Hypocria could win the last U21 cup and the doctor had transferred a large amount of money from the FA’s account as payment, without Scott having any knowledge of the transaction. Seeing as the advice he gave included setting fire to the U21 squad Scott felt he was entitled to a refund.

Scott went back through the channels to see how the nuns were getting on against some thugs from Ausholm. It wasn’t particular gripping television. He went back to VTV, Naked Pigeon Wrestling sounded interesting.

There appeared to be no naked pigeons, wrestling or not. Instead a suited man was trying to drown himself in a puddle, strange game shows they have in Vtorbetin. Then the real news sunk in, the Bettians had lost the Baptism of Fire trophy!

“Oh what a surprise.” Scott said to no one in particular. “Days before they have to give it back they lose the damn thing.”

Fortunately diplomatic channels existed between Hypocria and Bettia that enabled crises such as this to be discussed in a calm and rational manner.

He reached over to the phone.

“Do you know what ti . . . oh it’s you sir. How may I be of service at this ungodly hour?” Jenkins, one of Scott’s long suffering assistants answered.

“Send a car round for me Jenkins, I need to get to Embassy Plaza.”

“Embassy Plaza? May I ask why sir?”

“I’m going to yell at the Bettian ambassador.”

“Again may I ask why?”

“Because a crisis is brewing and it will make me feel a lot better. Now send my car!”

Vtorbetin

31-05-2005, 11:16

Children Of Vtorbetin Aid Bettian FA

In one of those ridiculously pathetic attempts to educate the younger generation about current affairs, primary school children across the country have been making their own Baptism Of Fire Cups to replace the one the Bettians misplaced. The thousands of cups were whittled down to just three, only one of which can be presented to the Bettians.

Little Rohan, age 7, made his cup out of polystyrene beakers and sellotape.

Rohan's entry (http://www.viking-direct.co.uk/pictures/GB/VKG/SK/MD/SV1_SK_MD.jpg)

"I made it out of cups because they're not very heavy and...because you can fill it with lemonade."

Margaret, age 10, made her trophy out of clay.

Margaret's entry (http://www.rugreview.com/atroc/chin23b.jpg)

"Well, it's big...and you can put flowers in it and I like flowers, so...that's good."

Jamie, age 9, made his entry out of a variety of reinforced metals and lacquered wood.

Jamie's entry (http://www.crispie.com/wsaa/images/Big%20Buck%20Trophy.jpg)

"I thought the juxtaposition between the sport in question and the bowmen in the trophy played off against the cup nicely. The deer represents the strong and fearless winners."

The winner will be picked live on VTV tomorrow at around 4pm.

Bettia

31-05-2005, 12:00

"Yes darling, I'll be home at six, same as usual. No, I'm not in the office, I'm in Gabalfa Garden with a shedload of office juniors and work experience types. Why? Cos we've had a tip-off that the Baptism of Fire cup was seen in this area. Yes, thats right, its been lost. Oh, you picked up little Anisah's pressie did you? Good. Okay. Oh yes, sausages and mash will be great - do we have any of that onion gravy left? Nice one. Okay, I'll be home soon. Love you lots my sugerpuff. Bye."

"**snigger** Sugerpuff?"

"Harris, just shut the hell up and keep looking. The tournament starts soon and already the proverbial's hitting the fan. I'm getting it in the neck from my boss, and things are getting so tense I've heard our country's ambassador to Hypocria has just used up a month's supply of Valium."

"Ah well, at least its a sunny day."

"Oi! You're not here to enjoy yourself, alright? Now keep your eyes peeled."

"Er, what exactly does this thing look like?"

"Well, it's big, rounded and silvery. Kinda like a cup. But not the sort you could drink tea out of. Why do you ask?"

"Big and silvery? Like the thing in that tree over there?"

"What? hang on, could it be? YES, WE FOUND IT! WE FOUND THE CUP!"

"Hang on... oh bugger, that ain't the cup at all. It's just an arora that some wacky student type has painted silver."

**snigger**

"Was that you Harris? Oh yes, very funny. Very grown up."

"No sir, I'm laughing cos thats not an Arora painted silver, that is in fact an Arora Argentis, or Silver Arora. A rather fine specimen too, especially seeing as you don't normally get them in the city. Perhaps in a month or two we'll see some ickle babies."

"Pack it in, will you? If I wanted a nature documentary, I'd go home and watch the Inquisitive Channel. Now then, lets concentrate on findi..."

**A ding ding ding ding dididing ding bing bing pscht**

"What the HELL is that?"

*Dorhrm bom bom bedom bem bom bedom bom bum ba ba bom bom, Bouuuuum bom bom bedahm, Bom be barbedarm bedabedabedabeda**

"Oh god, that's not what I think it is, is it?"

**Bbrrrrrimm bbrrrrramm bbbrrrrrrrrraammmmm ddddddraammm**

"Right, which one of you sad bastards has THAT ringtone? Come on, own up. You know playing that thing in public has just been made illegal due to the irreperable damage to mental health it causes."

**Bah bah baah baah ba wheeeeeee-eeeee-eeeee!**

"It's YOU isn't it Harris? Right, thats it... you're fired! Go and clear your desk out. The rest of you, carry on looking - there's not much time left."

Invincible BoB

31-05-2005, 16:02

Invincible BoB TV
Hello and welcome. We are here today in front of the 2km high statue of our glorius leader Himself for the unveiling of the team of genetically enhanced supermen who will be representing our magnificant nation in the Baptism of Fire tournament.And here they come wearing the glorius pink and silver verticle stripes of The Sultanate of Invincible BoB and with the logo of our new sponsors the Basket Weavers Association proudly displayed on the front.I will now call out the team list and player positions as the players make their appearance.

(GK) Hiram Dalton
(LWB) Denzil Lovell
(CB) Blaise Peace
(CB) Balthazar Kane
(CB) Xavier Wade
(RWB) Ulrick Langdon
(CM) Theobald Lightfoot (Captain)
(CM) Ross Milton
(CM) Patrick Baines
(CF) Fabian Joyce
(CF) Dafydd Jones

Substitutes
(GK) Brian Livingston
(CB) Biddulph Bass
(Utility Back) Hannibal King
(CM) John MacIonrachtaigh
(CF) Charles Ambrose XVI

And there you have it folks I hope you will tune in for reports on all the matches that these fine examples of the citizenry of The Sultanate of Invincible BoB. And don't forget to check out a look at the science used to create these players tomorrow at 7.

Caprine States

31-05-2005, 18:49

There was a light rap at the door. Expecting this, Mr. Orhan Bozkurt permitted the knocker entrance and in walked Mustafa Akburun, the most beloved man in all of the Caprine States--and not coincidentally the head coach of the national football team.

"Sit down, Mustafa," Bozkurt said while standing and gesturing to a single black chair.

Akburun inclined his head in acceptance and took the seat as Bozkurt reclaimed his own. There was a pause. He seemed to be waiting for Bozkurt to continue, which he eventually did.

"There is no need for this seriousness and formality between us, is there, Mustafa?" The goat sitting behind the desk raised his eyebrows in an inquisitive fashion as he said this and leaned forward as though Mr. Akburun were quite perplexing to him right now.

"No," said Akburun after another pause, "There is no need for it, Orhan. But why am I here? I don't suppose you invited me for drinks and darts?"

"I would, but Ministers of Culture aren't allowed to keep drinks or darts at work. No, this is a somewhat serious matter."

"And here I was worried you wanted me to stare at pictures of your darling daughter or something."

Bozkurt shrugged, and then suddenly offered the football coach a photo album that hadn't been in his hands a second before. "If you really want you can peruse this, I guess." His unassuming language belied the doting-father demand that his daughter be seen, and Akburun knew it.

Akburun reluctantly took the album and started flipping through it lazily, taking care not to pay any special attention to it lest the Culture Minister starts talking about his daughter instead of whatever it was they were supposed to be talking about. Not wanting to be rude, however, Bozkurt's guest muttered something vague about how much the little kid had grown since he saw her three days ago.

"I know!" Bozkurt beamed, "Hasn't she just? She always complains when we try to feed her broccoli, but just look at the benefits! I always tell her--"

"I hate to rush, Orhan, but I have a meeting at..." he checked the clock on the wall, which read 4:30, "5:15. What is it you brought me here for?"

As though suddenly remembering, Mr. Bozkurt leaned back, "Oh, right." He then clicked the hoofy fingers of his hands against each other as he considered possible ways to word what he wanted to say. Eventually he just gave up and went with the direct approach. "Mustafa, I read newspapers from other countries. It's my job."

Mustafa nodded.

"I've been focusing particularly on other countries in this Baptism of Fire thing, wanting to see what they think of us. But we're not in there, Mustafa! We don't figure into their predictions of who will win the cup."

"And you're worried that we may not be as good as we say we are?"

Bozkurt pondered this for a minute and then nodded. "Yes, something like that. So are we?"

"Some of these teams have an edge on us in terms of raw experience. A teeny-tiny edge that we can overcome."

"Then why don't they mention us, Mustafa?"

Akburun shrugged. "They don't know us. Hell, we don't know us. If you knew this team, you wouldn't be bringing me into your office wondering whether or not we could take the heat. We've been practicing quietly for nine months as a squad, Orhan. You may not be certain of it, but I am; this team can win it all."

"That's what I needed to hear, Mustafa!" boomed the suddenly excited Culture Minister as he stood up. Feeling somewhat excited himself, Mustafa stood up as well, causing the album sitting in his lap to fall to the floor.

"Ah hell..." He bent down to pick it up. "I hate looking at pictures of your darling daughter, you know."

Orhan nodded as he took the proferred album from his friend. "I know. But I'm a sadist. I can't stop."

A sigh from the football coach as he straightened up.

"Oh--I also meant to ask you, Mustafa, what do you make of this whole Bettian cup business?"

"The lost cup? I don't know. Personally I think it would be better if it were lost forever. That way they could make a new one out of chocolate. It would be much nicer that way, I think."

Orhan raised his eyebrows. "You really think that?"

The coach scoffed. "No. I read it in some newspaper. A good point, but I don't think we goats particularly good about understanding awards that you're not supposed to eat."

"Touché."

They both chuckled for a bit as they stood there. And then, as is natural for chuckling, it died down and a somewhat awkward moment began, though Mustafa quickly ended it. "No more pictures of your daughter for six months."

"If you win, Mustafa."

"No, if we win, I won't see pictures for a full year."

Orhan sighed and extended his hand. "So it must be, my friend. I'll be seeing you."

Akburun lightly swung his arm out and hit his hard fingers against Bozkurt's in the caprine handshake. "Cheers, Orhan." And then he turned to leave.

As he walked through the threshold, Orhan seemed to remember something. "My wife is three months pregnant with a boy. I'll make sure to show you the ultrasounds the next time I see you."

Akburun could only shake his head and keep walking.

Spruitland

31-05-2005, 20:33

Olav Nett, Spruitland’s Minister of Sports, had expected the mob of reporters to await his arrival at his office that morning, so he was not unprepared. The news of the Baptism of Fire Cup getting “misplaced” somewhere in Bettia had reached Spruitland, and after the citizens had seen a recent tax increase to pay for an ExtremelyHuge Trophy Case, it was understandable that they were somewhat concerned.

“Has the Cup been located?” “What will happen if they don’t find it?” “Is the loss of the Cup the reason for the delay of the start of the tournament?” “Do you think we should declare war on Bettia?”

“Now now, let’s not jump to conclusions,” Olav smiled, turning his favorable side to the cameras. “I’m sure this matter will be resolved long before the final of the tournament.”

“But what if the Cup is not recovered at all, Sir? Will a new Cup be made?”

“That certainly is an option, though in my opinion, not the one I’d prefer. Various designs for a new Cup have already been proposed, but I must say I’m not exactly thrilled about any of them. Amateur work, at best. Another rumor has it that Sarzonia would gladly donate their World Cup trophy to the winner of the BoF. That trophy would certainly fit nicely into our ExtremelyHuge Trophy Case, but like I said, this is just a rumor so far. Let’s just wait and see how the situation develops, the Cup may still turn up.”

“Have you seen the Baptism of Fire Cup Show on Vtorbetin TV, Sir?” another reporter asked, changing the subject to a topic Olav had been hoping to avoid. He gave the man a stern ‘I’ll remember that’ look, then shook his head.

“Most certainly not, I don’t watch garbage like that,” he said, with a sniff of contempt. “And I object to Spruitland being referred to as ‘lucky at everything’! That is an insult to the hard work and dedication our boys put into their sport. These guys are out there, training almost an hour every day, and they certainly don’t need that kind of crap from so-called ‘experts’.”

“But that Dr. Klipper sounds like he knows his stuff, Sir. And his predictions seem to make sense?”

Olav had to restrain himself not to grab the reporter’s microphone to bang him over the head with it. The presence of the cameras made that somewhat easier though. He took a deep breath and forced a smile, but couldn’t keep the snideness out of his voice.

“No, they don’t make sense at all. That Dr. Klipper is a quack, and that’s all there is to it. He’s basing his assumptions on those diphthingies, but he forgot to take into account that the local pronunciation of ‘Spruitland’ is not ‘sprew-it-land’, but ‘sproit-land’. According to our experts, that changes matters entirely, and should completely eradicate any negative effect the ‘ui’ may have.”

“But Sir, what if – “

“What if you just shut the hell up and go investigate your brain activity instead!?” Olav snapped – and immediately regretted it as he felt the cameras move closer to his face. He flashed a bright smile, laughed nervously, and then quickly headed for his office, pushing the microphones aside as gently as possible.

“That’ll be all for today, thank you for your time, gentlemen. Thank you, if you’ll just let me through we can all just – Get out of my <bleep>ing… erm. Thanks again!”

Vtorbetin

31-05-2005, 21:14

duh, duh...duh......duh!

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You're watching VTV, Vtorbetin's premiere sports, news and entertainment channel. It's nine o'clock, and up next, it's the daily five minute slot with Dr. Hermann Klipper...

"Hello, viewers. Today, I am going to use this slot to explain to you the dynamics of the diphthong. Due to the recent spout of international television signals being picked up, I ended up watching a Spruitland show yesterday evening. I was fairly amused by Mr. Olav Nett's comments about me and my methods, and after listening to his lesson on pronunciation, I decided it was time to talk about diphthongs."

"Now, diphthongs are defined as sounds formed by the combination of two vowels in a single syllable, in which the sound begins as one vowel and moves towards another. This accurate definition of a diphthong therefore discounts Mr. Nett's assumption that I pronounce Spruitland as Sprew-it-land, as the diphthong is ignored. Indeed, I pronounce Spruitland as Sproitland, as anyone who hasn't had two sheep stuck in their ears would have heard me say ever since I started having to say it."

"His claim that experts have disproved my theory is also incorrect, as I am the leading man in this field of research, as can be seen in my critically acclaimed tome, 'Why Is My Team So Crap?', a study of alphaprediction. As you can see, nobody disproves my theories...not unless they can do this!"

*Dr. Klipper jumps into a cauldron of boiling water, at which point he miraculously transforms into a trout and begins to tap-dance at the bottom of the container.*

duh, duh...duh......duh!

VTV Logo (http://www.vtv-rmg.be/ILLUSTR/logovtv.gif)

You're watching VTV, Vtorbetin's premiere sports, news and entertainment channel. It's nine oh five, and up next, it's 'The Top 100 Tanktop-Wearing Celebrities'...

Hypocria

01-06-2005, 00:18

“We can go live now to FA chief Alex Scott. Mr Scott the BoF is scheduled to start in the very near future what do you think are The Titan’s chances?”

“Well this competition is probably unique in that every team involved can realistically lift the trophy. Obviously we have the knowledge of two U21 Cups behind us as well as a hugely experienced international coach, hopefully that will give us the edge we need.”

“So you feel Hypocria have a good chance?”

“I do, yes. You need only read the reports from other nations involved, they pick Hypocria as one of the favourites.”

“And who do you believe the main contenders will be?”

“Well I spoke about experience earlier and Spruitland are another side with U21 experience behind them, they have a very good coach in Cor Bensen and Dirk Jools is an excellent striker. They will still be involved in the later stages. But I think Vtorbetin will be the team to beat in this competition. It is easy to write them off because of their amateur league but they’ve shown in other competitions that they can score lots of goals and they will prove a real handful.”

“Hypocria, Spruitland and Vtorbetin have been touted as possibly being the favourites, are there any dark horses out there?”

“As I said, every team in the BoF has a chance of winning. Kassyyk surprised a lot of people at the last U21 cup so maybe they can do the same again. Another side to look out for is The Caprine States, if only for their assistant coach, she’s stunning, if you like the whole goat thing.”

“O-k. Finally do you have any comment concerning the trophy crisis?”

“The Bettians had better find it or there will be hell to pay, there has even been talk of Spruitland declaring war.”

“What do you think of the back up plans should the trophy not be found?”

“A clay cup made by a Vtorbetin toddler? What a great addition to any trophy cabinet. And don’t get me started on that juxtaposition between bowmen and deer and who knows what else, that kid needs a slap.”

“Thank you Alex Scott for that typically blunt assessment. With mad doctors, threats of war, missing trophies and child slapping all involved in the build up, we can only imagine what the tournament itself will be like.”

Vtorbetin

01-06-2005, 10:29

Dooney In Transfer Speculation

Could Vtorbetin's Young Player Of The Year be on the verge of plying his trade abroad? Rumours have been abound of a variety of team showing interest, and we at VTV have just received word that Druidan side Cefn Albion have formerly inquired about a price for the 20-year-old defender.

Dooney would be the first Vtorbetin player to play for a foreign team, and he is naturally very excited about the prospect.

"It's always been a dream of mine to make it big, but to already be getting some interest from foreign teams is amazing. I'd jump at the chance to play in a country like Druida, and I hope they seriously consider any price put on me."

His current team, Dmitrea, are rumoured to have put a 7.8 million colugo price tag on their star player, and the club are now awaiting a response from Cefn Albion. With the BoF on the verge of starting, things look good for Vtorbetin to reach the very top in this game already.

Prolaterian Pandas

01-06-2005, 20:28

Prolaterian Panda F.A. in hot water with animal rights activists thanks to controversial website

In the lead-up to the World Cup 23, there's been little buzz thus far in Pandaland regarding the upcoming Baptism of Fire cup, one of the largest and most important national competitions in the world. The Baptism of Fire has been used as a springboard by many squads to catapult them into the next echelon of competition in world football. Though football enjoys a reasonable level of popularity in Prolaterian Pandas, a nation devoid of any professional leagues, football association official were desperate to find the next big thing to spark the interest of the people and they may well have found it.

After hiring the aid of Starworks Technologies, an upstart computer graphics company, the F.A. released the website www.pandapandapanda.com last week. It isn’t much, but it’s got people talking about the Prolaterian Pandas football team again. Essentially, it’s an animation that goes something like, “PandaPandaPandaPandaPandaPandaPandaPandaPanda, Football, FOOTBALL!” with a panda clad in the Prolaterian Pandas’ red and yellow kit popping up on the pitch every time they say “Panda” and a shot of a football and subsequent close-up when they say “football”. This mind-numbing cycle goes on for about four or five rounds, until you hear “GOOOOOAAALLLL, It’s GOAAALLLLLL!!!!” and a Panda drills a ball into the top portion of the net as the Prolaterian Pandas are credited with a goal, while the score remains zero for the other team. This cycle keeps on going until the viewer decides he wishes to pursue something a little more intellectually challenging, like reading a Dr. Seuss book or perhaps tuning in for an episode of SpongeBob SquarePants.

This site has getting a lot of hits and has been a smash with children, stoner, computer geeks and retards, but not everybody is happy with pandapandapanda.com. Lauren Gustav, vice-spokewoman of Gentle And Full Freedom For Animals, or GAFFFA, says the victory dance executed by the panda after he scores his goal, notably sliding on his knees and kicking the snake goalkeeper in the head gives people the wrong idea about the ethical treatment of animals.

“Kids are gonna see this, and say, hey, that Panda is cool, why I don’t I be just like him and kick a snake in the head,” said Gustav in an interview. “The kind of abuse of animals needs not be glorified and we at GAFFFA want this site pulled from the web and banned at once.”

GAFFFA have built themselves quite a reputation in Prolaterian Pandas of chronic whiners who will find anything to bitch about. From marlin fishing to the south to gay marriages within the reindeer community in the north, GAFFFA always have something to chime in about, so these threats are being taken with a grain of salt. However, as long as GAFFFA keeps making noise about pandapandapanda.com, the more people are talking about it and the more people are talking about the Prolaterian Pandas football team and the BoF Cup. The names of the favorites like Bettia, Vtorbetin and Hypocratia are being mention more and more in water cooler conversations as team who’ll likely put the leather to us. The nation is now getting excited for the first Panda game and the hopefully, the first Panda marker, were they’ll hear those famous words uttered for real this time, “GOOOOOAAALLLL, It’s GOAAALLLLLL!!!!”

*This RP was a flagrant rip-off of two sites, which are affiliated with each other, notably www.badgerbadgerbadger.com and http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/footy/. I couldn’t have thought about something so stupid without them, so it would be unfair to not give them some mention. Anyway, those sites are amongst the most retarded things I’ve ever seen, but they’re hilarious. Enjoy!

Caprine States

02-06-2005, 07:13

Star defender Bülent Özgür strolled down the street with the express intent not to avoid the little children playing football this time. He was in Lokumcular, the beautiful, friendly city where his team played. And the sun was shining! It was a beautiful day! The children would be delighted to see him! He knew it! Or he hoped he knew it, at least.

He turned into a narrow alley, and despite what he told himself, he prepared for the worst. Coach Akburun was forcing him to reach out to the community or some rot--specifically to the little children. "We need to get the kids involved, Bülent," he said, "We need to make them care," he said, "And you're about their size, so you take care of it," he said.

Damn that Akburun! He was not that small! He was over five feet tall, for the love of Pete! Maybe even five foot two! And that's without the horns. That bastard Akburun was holding a grudge for the equalizer that he scored in the last game of the season, and now he was making him interact with children!

And Akburun knew--he had to know--the last time he had tried to get the kids excited, they just made fun of him the whole time. They even called him a pygmy. But he wasn't that short, dammit!

Shortly after this fun episode of thought ended, Özgür found himself in the community center he had been making for. He took a deep breath and walked in.

And there they were. Kids. Almost a hundred of them, mostly Angoras like himself. Sitting there, staring at him.

"All right, kids," one of about two adults said, "Say hello to Mr. Özgür."

The chorus promptly sounded off with, "Hello, Mr. Özgür," more or less in unison. But the footballer was pretty sure he heard someone say, "That's Bülent Özgür?" just as the hellos died off.

Özgür cleared his throat and cautiously waved to the assembly of kids. "Hello."

Some of the more enthusiastic kids happily waved back, which was somewhat encouraging to the slightly larger Özgür, and he began his little speech.

"I'm here today to teach all of you a little bit about football and--"

"How come you're so short?" It was one of the littlest kids in the front row.

"Umm... well... I'm not that short, really. And it doesn't effect my play--"

"Do they ever hit balls over your head?"

He swallowed. "Well, they hit balls over everyone's head. But anyway--"

"Did you shrink?" It was the really small kid again.

"No, no. I've always been this way--well, I mean--"

"You were born like that?"

"No! No, I was smaller than this. I was as small as you guys."

The very tiny kid spoke up again, "Are you so little because you didn't eat your greens? My mommy says--"

Özgür snapped. "No! NO! Shutup! Shutup you little idiot! I ate all my greens! I did everything right! I'm just a little shorter than normal!"

The little kid's eyes welled up quite quickly, and his little lower lip quivered. Quickly he covered his face with his hands and scampered away to what was presumably a bathroom.

"What's the matter with you?" said an adult that angrily approached, "Did you have to hurt his--GOAF!" Before he could finish, Mr. Özgür had hurled the football he was carrying in his face. And then he ran away. Fast. And he was yelling incoherently too.

--

The next day, two leading tabloids led with the headlines "FOOTBALLER ÖZGÜR PERMANENTLY MAIMS COMMUNITY CENTER DIRECTOR" and "CHILD SCARRED FOR LIFE BY PEDOPHILE."

Coach Akburun did not take action against Özgür as he himself had been attacked by the tabloids in the old days, but murmurs that Özgür had been put on the transfer market could be heard only a couple of days later.

Caprine States

03-06-2005, 06:21

It should be noted beforehand that we are indeed talking about anthropomorphic (which is to say walking and talking) goats here just in case there is any confusion, and they have traits that are different from humans that ought to be noted when playing against them. For one thing, they have horns. During play, these horns are covered with a special foam that serves to both protect opposing players and deaden the ball so that horn usage in headers is discouraged. These fellows also have hooves, which means that their cleats are very weird--normally the goat is renowned for his balance and surefootedness, but on the pitch things change quite a bit. Their fingers also have a hoofy quality to them and there are two on one hand as opposed to four, which gives goalkeepers a bit of a disadvantage. The average goat can jump a good bit higher than the average human and has greater leg strength than the average human, but on the flipside the average goat is about three inches shorter than the average human in both sexes (when not including horns) and they are a bit less bulky too. And that's most of how it goes. So cheers!

The Confederacy of Caprine States

National Team Roster:

#. Name (Age, Position, Club) [Type of goat or human] (caps)

Goalkeepers:

1. Eski (38, GK, Rearward FC) [Angora] (6 caps; 9 conceded)

Formerly Ismail Aksaçli, Eski (which translates into "old") is easily the most recognizable face on the national squad, and the reasoning behind this is pretty intuitive. Eski is so old that he played on the national team in the pre-independence days. His experience in international play is unique among the fellows on the Confederacy's national team, and it ensures him of a starting spot despite his having slowed down a bit over the years. Owning the largest and curviest horns of anyone in the squad, Eski is also looked to as a traditional leader, and this, combined with his charismatic personality and his experience have made him the assistant captain.

20. Eduardo Clemente (23, GK, Kirma-Kirla) [La Mancha] (0 caps)

Hailing from the small state of La Mancha in the southwestern part of the Confederacy, Clemente is widely regarded to be the best all-around goalkeeper that the Caprine States has to offer. In this Baptism of Fire, Coach Akburun intends to give him some valuable international experience somewhere down the line, but the team's goal is to win and win now, so Akburun will likely keep Clemente on the bench for much of the action.

Defenders:

2. Michael Harrison (35, FB, Rearward FC) [Human] (43 caps)

Harrison is one of only four humans on the Caprine States squad and the only one to hold down a starting position. Despite his considerable age, Harrison has lost almost none of his brilliance, and his very presence has brought many defensive units together. Harrison also has experience--a great deal of it, really. Harrison became a naturalized citizen of the Confederacy of Caprine States after he was forced to flee his home because of a scandal involving thousands of whoopie cushions. Before he left, however, he was a prized starter for the national team, which makes him even more valuable to the inexperienced Caprine States squad. Yet further, Harrison's being on the same club as Eski has allowed the two old men to develop a camraderie that will make it very difficult for opponents to score on anything but the most ridiculous of breakaways.

12. Michelle Gerard (25, FB/DC, Fender) [Nubian] (0 caps)

If it weren't for a strange story involving a ball of yarn and a scout that didn't know when to say no, Michelle Gerard would probably be farming turnips and rye right now. She was discovered, of course, and now she plays for Fender as the starting fullback. With an instinctual quickness and never-fear attitude, Gerard is the heir-apparent to Harrison's position of national fullback. For now, however, she is to sit on the bench, though Akburun has expressed interest in substituting her in all around the defense to give her some experience.

17. Erkan Bözböyle (25, DL, Denizspor) [Angora] (0 caps)

Easily the fastest defender on the Caprine States squad, Bözböyle makes up one half of the infamous Rumbling Angora Wall (which is completed by Bülent Özgür) that has been the bane of clubs other than Denizspor for the past two years. Though not the most potent defensive machine in the world, Bözböyle is a solid tackler and a good all-around defender. His starting spot, however, does not come from pure defensive ability. He starts because at a moment's notice he can move up to midfield and give his team more offensive options in addition to the deadly force that he provides when running up the field alongside Özgür.

18. Ivar Nilsen (26, DL, Southern FC) [Norwegian] (0 caps)

He's large and he speaks with a funny accent. No one can understand a word he says, really, though he seems quite cheerful most of the time. It helps that he's a very good footballer and the star of Southern FC. Unfortunately, Southern FC is not particularly good, so it doesn't say much to say that he's their best player. Despite playing for such a poor team, Coach Akburun suspects that Nilsen's play can only get better on the national squad, and that his availability will help to solidify the Caprine defense.

5. Bülent Özgür (29, DC, Denizspor) [Angora] (0 caps)

The other half of the Rumbling Angora Wall, Özgür has led the Caprine Football League in scoring among defenders for the past four years. Though he spends most of his time stopping potential scorers from doing their work, the occasional breaks that he makes sprinting alongside Bözböyle generally have a surprisingly demoralizing affect on opposing defenses, and it is a rare happening when the Rumbling Angora Wall doesn't create at least a corner kick (otherwise it would have little call to be called a wall). Özgür is also a first-class defender, and silently acknowledged as the more integral piece of the Wall created by himself and Bözböyle, though everyone also agrees that the combination of Bözböyle and Özgür is synergistic, and that if one got injured, the squad would likely be in serious trouble.

99. Kemal Denktas (22, DC/DR, Fender) [Angora] (0 caps)

Once considered the best player under 18, Denktas has taken a severe hit in his reputation ever since he tore two ligaments in his left knee. He doesn't run particularly well anymore, and his tackling is sometimes just a bit off, but unlike far too many kids, he plays with all the fundamentals, and he still has the ability to really boot the ball across the field (with his right foot, of course).

33. Hiram Hansen (31, DR, Maviyolspor) [Danish Landrace] (0 caps)

Solid. He never leaves the backfield, but any incursions into his territory almost invariably result in brilliant slide-tackling and stripping of the ball. Hansen is also an extremely effective physical player, making football a contact sport like none other. His continual bumping and knocking (while the referees aren't looking, of course) have left many forwards extremely frustrated--some to the point of yanking jerseys and making dangerous tackles more than once in a game. He is slower than average and perhaps one of the least agile players on the national squad, but his extensive league experience and his instinctiveness always lead him to the action, and his consistent effectiveness ensures his starting spot.

Midfielders:

7. Ricardo Sánchez-Rodriguez (19, ML, Northern FC) [La Mancha] (0 caps)

Famous among the ladies for the multiple piercings on his extraordinarily small ears, Ricardo Sánchez-Rodriguez is known to football fans as one of the loudest and most frequently-carded players in the Caprine Football League. His astonishing dribbling ability and lightning quickness (in addition to his ranting) is very useful for galvanizing squads, but it can also be self-destructive when the cards start flying his way. For the most part, the La Manchan is good about not getting himself ejected from matches, but with the number of yellow cards he's likely to receive in the Baptism of Fire, his backup will surely come into considerable use.

15. Gregor Schwartz (28, ML/MC, Northern FC) [Peacock Goat] (0 caps)

The starting central midfielder for Northern FC, Schwartz has been called up to the national club to continue serving as the replacement for Sánchez-Rodriguez, though he has not been asked to start. A very good passer and a speedy sprinter, Schwartz is the stereotypical midfielder who does not fear to venture forward when another pair of legs or perhaps a head is needed. It might also be wise to note that a Peacock Goat is not a cross between a peacock and a goat, but rather a type of goat.

13. Johnny Martin (C) (30, MC, Rearward FC) [Kiko] (0 caps)

Indisputably the most popular player in the Confederacy of Caprine States. Period. And he has the talent to back it up. A shocker of a tale, Martin was a bright prospect that actually developed into everything the scouts and experts thought he could be. A supremely excellent passer, shooter, and defender that can run down any player or any football and head-in any corner kick, Martin is an invaluable asset to the team. Complementing his footballing skills, the man is extremely charismatic, as evidenced by his captainship of the Rearward FC since he was 23 and his eight (perhaps more) children with seven different women. In addition to boasting a lovely résumé, Martin is hailed by Coach Akburun (who is also his club coach) as possibly the greatest midfielder in the world, which is extremely impressive since Mr. Akburun rarely gives much praise to any player. This Baptism of Fire will provide the first test for the gradually aging midfielder, who is eager to prove himself in front of an international audience.

0. Bokolursa (43, M, Unsigned) [Goat?] (0 caps)

Not even Coach Akburun is sure where Bokolursa (whose name translates to "if [poo] happens") came from. It is widely suspected that he used to be a high-ranking officer in the independence movement, or at least something that would have explained his face being disfigured--because it really is quite disfigured. Whatever the case, Bokolursa walked into a preliminary training camp for potential members of the national football team and was stunning. It wasn't ball-control skill or tempered passing that made its mark, but rather sheer, undisguised power from his 6'8", 270 lbs body. He destroyed seventeen balls in thirty minutes and convinced Akburun to use a valuable roster spot to hold this very dangerous and unpredictable weapon off the bench even though he seemed to last only for about forty minutes. If nothing else, he could scare the other team. A lot.

23. Ignacio Gómez (29, M, FC La Amistad) [La Mancha] (0 caps)

Gómez is considered to be the prospect that never panned out in somewhat sharpish contrast to his Kiko compadre. Ten years ago, he represented the largest salary in the fledgling Caprine Football League, but these days he doesn't rank in the top twenty. Gómez has recently shown some flair in his season with La Amistad, however, and won a spot on the national team. He doesn't have any specific skills per se--Coach Akburun is just hoping that there is lots of flair.

16. Françoise Latour (26, MR, Fender) [French Alpine] (0 caps)

Yes, that's right. A female starter. A French female starter, at that. Ever since she was able to run without falling over, she was an avid player of the game. A somewhat defensive midfielder, one of Latour's main duties is to provide extra assistance in the backfield to prevent breakaway and swarming attacks. In additon, she brings another charge of passing ability and to the team, but most importantly she brings a woman's touch. Akburun has publicly acknowledged the need to have estrogen and various other hormones on the field and has also expressed his pleasure at the level of Latour's form. Naturally there is a lot of pressure from feminist groups and chauvinist groups, but Latour has done a very fine job of shrugging it off and preparing for the Baptism of Fire.

4. Anthony Gardener (30, MR, Enerji JK) [Human] (0 caps)

A staple of the average mountain dweller's diet in the state of Angora, Anthony Gardener has provided many otherwise disconnected goats with an example of a living human face in addition to a whole bunch of goals for eleven years. A very offensive-minded midfielder for Enerji JK (partly because he's the only one seemingly capable of scoring goals aside from fellow national squad member Aloysius Tompkinson), Gardener is a very useful substitute in those 2-0 situations and is definitely capable of starting should the need exist--and it could potentially exist since Assistant Coach Juliet Bonaventure is also his club coach and is very fond of him.

Forwards:

22. Can Yildirim (20, FL, Rearward FC) [Angora] (0 caps)

Rounding out the contingent of four starters from Rearward FC, Can Yildirim is a quickly developing go-to guy on a club team that otherwise seemed set offensively. He will also be bringing a lively spark and a bright smile to this national team that must help somehow. Really, he's not exactly defined by footballing talent, but rather by his ability to create the strangest opportunities up front by means that no one entirely understands. Yildirim is like a little good luck charm for the team, and thousands across the Confederacy are making bets on whether he'll score seven goals or none.

11. Xavier Wilkins (26, FL, Maviyolspor) [Human] (0 caps)

When people talk about Xavier Wilkins, the first thing that comes to mind is "He's such a great spot-kicker!" The second and third things would probably be something related to spot-kicking, and then the fourth and fifth things might be related to his appearance. It's not that he's bad at anything else, but he's really known for his pin-point free kicks, corner kicks, and penalty shots. He spends literally hours outside of practice every week perfecting his technique. As one might expect, his personality is a little dull and one-sided (he'll talk your ear off about linseed oil and nothing else), but his presence on the team provides depth and an almost assured goal in any penalty kick shootouts.

10. Aloysius Tompkinson (28, FC, Enerji JK) [Toggenburg] (0 caps)

The other day, someone asked Head Coach Mustafa Akburun why he selected the forwards that he did. He said, "Can [Yildirim] is obvious, as is Kankaldiran. Wilkins and Ipson are solid strikers we have to sub-in and occasionally start, and as for Aloysius Tompkinson... we just really needed a guy named Aloysius on our team. Badly." Obviously Akburun wasn't entirely serious. Or so we hope. Either way, experts accept Tompkinson's position as the starting central forward because of a very pretty goal he made where he dribbled past four defenders and shot the ball past two more without anyone else nearby. And that's enough, really.

66. Kankaldiran (29, FR, Marshall City) [Angora] (0 caps)

His name (which translates awkwardly into "the blood raiser") is an excellent indicatior of his exciting play. The fastest player on the team, Kankaldiran can turn crushing defeat into hope in just under six seconds with both his breakaway goals and his thirty-yard chips. Extremely frustrating to defenders, who for the most part can't figure him out, and absolute death for visiting teams, as he has a knack for getting the crowd riled up. One third of Marshall City's meager payroll is spent on Kankaldiran, and he is the only reason that the team avoids relegation every year. Akburun has made it no secret that he worries if Kankaldiran will seem as good when surrounded by the country's best players, but in practices the Marshall City striker has shown superb form.

8. Freddie Ipson (31, FR, FC La Amistad) [Human] (0 caps)

A proud flag-waving and anthem-singing citizen of the Confederacy ever since its establishment, Ipson is a strange human-type-fellow. Apparently growing up among goats can turn a human just a little bit, though it can certainly cause problems when you want to fight over ladies. Them horns is hard and sharp. Ipson is very well-liked, however, because of his strangely caprine behavior, and this certainly played a factor in his selection to the team. His twelve seasons of club football have also helped his cause, and Coach Akburun is quite willing to put Ipson in if the forward line needs stablization.

The Coaches:

Mustafa Akburun (52, Head Coach, Rearward FC) [Angora]

He was appointed to his position by the Ministry of Culture, chosen out of many viable candidates. It should be noted, however, that when one says "viable candidates," one means candidates that would have had a prayer if Akburun did not exist. Mr. Akburun is easily the most revered coach in the Confederacy, and his seven years managing the extremely successful Rearward FC have provided him with sufficient experience to steer the rudder in the nation's first international matches. In his youth, Akburun was a star midfielder, and so he has a slight bias towards that position (though he does plan to generally run a 4-3-3). His play in the brand new Caprine Football League helped to establish its legitimacy early on, and many hope that he will do the same for the Confederacy on an international level. Expectations are high for Akburun and the team despite the international inexperience of both, but when asked about said high expectations, Akburun confidently said, "I expect we'll meet them."

Juliet Bonaventure (46, Assistant Coach, Enerji JK) [French Alpine]

The entire Confederacy agrees that Ms. Bonaventure is still the hottest thing since sliced bread, and people refuse to believe she's a day over 25. Pair that with the unexpected second place finish of the unknown Enerji team, and you have the lock for the assistant coaching job. She has received critical acclaim over the past few months for transforming a squad from worst to second-best in just two years by using what appeared to be only toothpicks and a small piece of lint. Despite her press coverage, when it comes to the national team, Bonaventure lets Akburun do the fronting for the press while she arranges the logisitcs and makes sure the team stays up to snuff (reporters still come by to take photographs of her--every day). Bonaventure was one of the first women to play on a club team in the Caprine States soon after the Caprine Football League was formed, and she became the first to start for a club only three years before she retired.

The Formation:

22.Yildirim 66.Kankaldiran

10.Tompkinson

7.Sánchez 13.Martin(C) 16.Latour

17.Bözböyle 5.Özgür 33.Hansen

2.Harrison

1.Eski

Vilita

05-06-2005, 09:08

Baptism of Fire Cup :: Group Draw

The Group Draw for the Pre-WC23 Baptism of Fire Cup is as follows. Matchplay will begin on Monday with each team playing each other team in its group once. Group play will end on Friday, where the top 3 teams in each region will advance to the knockout stage. There may be a break between the Group Stage and Knockout Rounds. 2nd and Third from each region will play each other in the Regional Semi Final, and the winner will meet the top team from the region's groupplay in the Regional Final. The two Regional Champions will square off to see who will be crowned Champion of the Baptism of Fire Cup. Only teams that have shown interest in participating have been invited into the group draw. There is still one place in the Fmjphoenix region should another nation find their way to Atlantian Oceania and put on their kits.

Vilitan Region
Vtorbetin
Caprine States
Prolaterian Pandas
Buben
Kassyyk

Fmjphoenix Region
Hypocria
Spruitland
Invincible BoB
Kericia
Unknown Team

Spruitland

05-06-2005, 11:36

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y197/Spruitland/sportsgazette.jpg

BoF group draw worries coach

Fmjphoenix Region
Hypocria
Spruitland
Invincible BoB
Kericia
Unknown Team

Spruitland industries rejoiced as the groups were drawn and the start of the Baptism of Fire was announced this morning. With the bulk of working citizens either on extended medical leave or on vacation indefinitely, Spruitland’s economy is quickly starting to plummet. A drastic rise in bankruptcies and a shortage of various products in department stores all over the nation has the government on the verge of declaring a national emergency.

“We’re hoping to avoid that,” Bart Rekenaer, Spruitland’s Minister of Economy said, “but we desperately need our citizens to go back to work, and that’s obviously not gonna happen until we’re kicked out of the BoF. Let’s hope that’s sooner rather than later.”

If the volume of the “Boo!” that went through the pressroom at the Minister’s last sentence is any indication, Mr. Rekenaer is not likely to be re-elected this century.

In the meantime, the Spruitland Wabbits have taken their residence in a hotel in the Fmjphoenician city of Dublin, close to the training facilities of RFC Vrelt. SFA President Martin Backer denied that the choice of location had anything to do with the amount of pubs in Dublin.

“It’s merely a pleasant location where our boys will feel right at home,” Backer said.

Training has been intensified and on request of coach Cor Bensen an extra team of local masseuses has been employed to complement the team’s medical staff. Bensen denied this is a ‘panic tactic’, but did admit that the group draw has gotten him somewhat concerned.

“We’ve obviously been drawn in the toughest group,” Bensen said with a sigh. “In the Vilitan region you have easy teams like Vtorbetin, and then some goats and pandas. And then look at the Fmjphoenix region. It’s just not fair.”

Bensen’s team-by-team rundown of the group:

Hypocria
“We know the Hypocrian team fairly well. We have a scout… erm, an ambassador in their nation, and two of their players are playing in the First Division. They’re one of the favorites for the Cup as far as I’m concerned. They’re eager and ready, and if we get a draw against them, we’ll be celebrating like there’s no tomorrow.”

Invincible Bob
“Obviously, these guys are the team to beat, but I don’t see how it can be done. It doesn’t matter how talented and motivated you are, if you’re playing an invincible team, you’re gonna lose. We don’t expect to get away with anything from this match.”

Kericia
“If we’re gonna get any points, this is the team we’ll have to do it against. It won’t be easy though, they have a tough midfield. Our ice hockey team is playing them soon in the Cherry Cup as well, hopefully we can pull off a double.”

Unknown Team
“This is a tough one to call, since very little is known about them. With a little luck, it could be a walk-over, but we’re expecting the worst.”

Spruitland star striker Dirk Jools was slightly more optimistic about the group draw.

“The coach worries too much,” he said. “Piece of cake, if you ask me. Hypocria? Pfft, over-rated. That Danny West kid scored a few lucky goals in our competition, but he doesn’t begin to measure up to a good striker like, say, me.”

“And Invincible Bob, hah! We’ll just see about that. With a name like that, you’re just waiting to be thoroughly thwacked. If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s arrogance.”

Vtorbetin

05-06-2005, 13:04

duh, duh...duh......duh!

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You're watching VTV, Vtorbetin's premiere sports, news and entertainment channel. It's six o'clock, and up next, it's 'The Baptism Of Fire Cup Show'...

The Baptism Of Fire Cup Show

Hi, Worzel Partridge here with today's dose of the Baptism Of Fire Cup Show.

So, after weeks of nervous anticipation, speculation and fraternization, the Pre-World Cup 23 Baptism Of Fire Cup is about to begin. The group draw was made yesterday, and we had a camera in Vilita at the ceremony. Let's take a look:

"There will be two groups of five. Each team will play the other four once, and the team with the most points will proceed to their regional finals. The teams finishing second and third will play each other in their regional semi-finals, and the winner will become the second team in the regional final. The winners of the regional finals will face each other in the tournament final, to be held in Vilita. So, without further ado, let us begin the draw for the Pre-World Cup 23 Baptism Of Fire Cup."

"The first team in Group A is...Vtorbetin."

"The first team in Group B is...Hypocria."

"The second team in Group A is...Caprine States."

"The second team in Group B is...Spruitland."

"The third team in Group A is...Proletarian Pandas."

"The third team in Group B is...Invincible BoB."

"The fourth team in Group A is...Buben."

"The fourth team in Group B is...Kericia."

"The fifth team in Group A is...Kassyyk."

"The fifth place in Group B will be offered to the next nation to show interest. That concludes the draw."

Okay, with me here in the studio is head of the FA, Petr Juskhin. Petr, do you think we can be pleased with the draw?

"It really depends on how you look at it. Whatever your point of view Group A is a very difficult group. You've got Caprine States, Proletarian Pandas, Kassyyk...it's going to be a tough, tough challenge. Realistically, there are going to be four teams looking for three places. If you're looking for good games, then this is a brilliant draw. If you're looking for an easy passage to the next round, then you're going to be quite worried at the moment."

Do you believe Vtorbetin can get through to the next stage?

"I'm quietly confident. Basically we need to pinpoint two teams we have to do better than in terms of points. The question is, can we do that, and I think we can. You've got Buben, and then out of the three other teams, I'd say Kassyyk has to be the team we're looking at. If we can get wins over those two, I say we can expect a second round berth, at the least."

Is there any team there we should be afraid of?

"If a team intimidates you, then that's half the battle won already. We cannot let any of these teams scare us, and I don't think we are scared of any team. We'll be going into all of our games looking for the result, and we'll play to our best, of that I am confident."

What do you think of Group B?

"I think Group B is a little easier. Spruitland and Hypocria will undoubtedly make the next round. It's then just a case of who else...perhaps Invincible BoB?"

Would you have preferred a place in Group B?

"I think it's better to play the best teams first, so that you're prepared for the harder latter stages. If we progress from Group A, we can safely say we're in with a chance. Therefore, I think I'd stick with Group A if given the option."

Petr, in your opinion, is this the toughest BoF to call in years?

"Over the past couple of tournaments, there were perhaps only one or two real candidates for the title amidst fourteen or so other nations. Here we've got five real possibilities out of ten. I think this could be that closest fought BoF in the history of the tournament."

Okay, stick you're neck out here - who do you think will finish where in Group A?

"That's a really difficult question. I think if we can win our first two games, we can finish top. I think Caprine States and Proletarian Pandas will also be there, but it's just a case of in what order."

Thankyou, Petr. Okay, let's have a look at our fellow Group A competitors up close:

Caprine States
Although not rated at the start of the BoF campaign, this side has come on a lot since then. Now they're real title contenders. They've proved that they've got the pace and the skill, but have they got the endurance to go all the way?

Proletarian Pandas
Probably the quietest of the title contenders, this is no reason to count the side out. Their strong counter-attacking mentality may catch an overconfident team off-guard, but are they concentrating fully on this tournament, or are their thoughts elsewhere at the moment?

Buben
Deemed the rank outsiders of the group, there's still no reason to underestimate them. They have a good overall side, and their team spirit will almost undoubtedly fare them well. However, will a lack of any real superstars in the team work against them?

Kassyyk
Having done well at U21 level, this side want to go on to bigger and better things. They certainly have experience in the side, but will the team's collective silence be their undoing in the eyes of the all-important, BoF-watching public?

So, it's certainly not going to be a walk in the park for Vtorbetin, but with rivals Hypocria and Spruitland in Group B, there's a real chance that they could go far in this tournament, and perhaps even steal the crown from under everybody's nose. Next time, we will have the first results from this magnificent tournament, and we'll be analysing the team's chances, as well as keeping an eye on the bookies' odds. See you then.

duh, duh...duh......duh!

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You're watching VTV, Vtorbetin's premiere sports, news and entertainment channel. It's six thirty, and up next, it's 'When Jam Jars Turn Ferile'...

Bettia

05-06-2005, 17:01

"Look, things are getting urgent now. The group draw has been made and they're gonna start playing tomorrow. Have there been any leads at all?"

"Well, we've had a few calls from the public but they've been as useful as a chocolate teapot. One bloke walking his pet arora claimed to have found it hidden in a hedge, but that turned out to be a tinfoil trophy thrown away by a Gabalfa Rovers fan after they lost the league title the other day."

"You know if we can't find it, we'll have a to make a new one. Just think of the expense."

"Don't you worry about that. I just happen to have a friend working at Maindy silversmiths, the finest silversmiths in all Bettia. I reckon I could get one made quickly and on the cheap, if you know what I mean."

**riiing riing**

"Excuse me... hello, Umar Tenant speaking."

"Mr Tennant, there's a cute little madam on line one for you."

"A cute little madam eh? Hello Anisah! How's my bithday girl?"

"I'm good daddy. My party's really fun!"

"Aw. Are all you friends there? Did they bring you lots of pressies?"

"Yep. I've got lots of pwessies! I'm gonna open yours first - it's really really big!"

"It is? (that's odd, I only bought her a gold necklace - surely her other presents aren't smaller). Erm Anisah? How big is my pressie exactly?"

"It's in a big brown box with a label saying TO: VILITA FA on it. Why are you calling me that? My name isn't Vilita Fa, you silly daddy!"

"(it couldn't be surely) Anisah my little buttercup? Does this box have any ribbons on it?"

"Yeah, it has pretty green and yellow ones on it?"

"YES!!! Oh, my little darling, you've made me very happy. Whatever you do, don't open that box, okay? I'm coming straight home!"

Hypocria

05-06-2005, 23:14

Fmjphoenix Region
Hypocria
Spruitland
Invincible BoB
Kericia
Unknown Team

The Baptism of Fire groups have been drawn and The Titans are on their way to Fmjphoenix.

The players are on their way and they are set to be joined by a large number of scouts from Hyper League clubs eager to tap into the foreign market newly opened to them. And of course there are the fans who are believed to be travelling in their thousands to Fmjphoenix to watch Hypocria compete in its first senior tournament. Although many have been forced to change their plans slightly as every hotel room in Dublin is full of drunken Spruitlanders.

The Titans will definitely be facing Spruitland, Invincible Bob and Kericia in the group games as well as a possible fourth game against a late arrival.

Earlier today Pylos Reavers coach Alex Santoro gave his thoughts on the group.

“Well this is a tournament that any team involved can win but I think, thanks to various media reports, we can make some educated guesses as to how the group will end up looking.”

Hypocria

“Obviously they may be a bit of national bias involved but I genuinely believe we are good enough to top this group.”

Spruitland

“Spruitland and Hypocria finally go head to head. They are certainly a confident side with experience at U21 level. But is nothing we don’t already have. Hopefully The Titans can edge it but The Wabbits should finish comfortably in second.”

Invincible Bob

“Their invincibility remains in doubt but clearly they believe it’s true. That could well see them through.”

Kericia

“Without the invincibility of Invincible Bob they could be looking at a disappointing campaign.”

Unknown Team

?

The Titans have been picked out by a number of the foreign media as possible winners of The Baptism of Fire and can approach the group games with some confidence. One thing is for certain, Hypocria expects big things from these players. Will The Titans deliver? Stay tuned to find out.

Caprine States

06-06-2005, 02:07

Buh-duh-buh-buh-dah! (Buh-duh-buh-buh-dah!) (Buh-duh-buh-buh-dah!) Buh-buh-buh!

"Hello, and welcome to the Channel 13 news at 3:00 AM, broadcast live so that you pathetic urchins can enjoy your insomnia. I'm Calvin Baker."

"And I'm Maria-Magdelena de Enrique de Martínez-Vicario de Obregón. In this special Baptism of Fire edition, we will forgo coverage of old ladies turning 100 and focus almost exclusively on our national team. With us in the studio today we have the incredibly sexy Ricardo Sánchez-Rodriguez. Hello, Ricardo."

"Hell-lo foxy lady."

"Oh, Ricardo. You're making me blush..."

"So anyway, Ricardo," went the annoyed Baker, "What do you think about the group draw?"

"What do I think? What do I think? I know this Caprine States team will bring everyone else to their knees! We are without mercy! We will destroy all comers because we are the most <expletive>ing awesome team in the world! <Expletive> the group draw! We're going to be the champions! Of the world!"

"Thank you for that brilliant analysis, Mr. Sánchez."

"Sánchez-Rodriguez, <expletive>!"

"Yes. Sánchez-Rodriguez. Also with us in studio at this ungodly hour is Denizspor manager Ali Mutfakseven. Hello, Mr. Mutfakseven."

"Hello Calvin, and hell-lo Ms. de Enrique de Martínez-Vicario de Obregón."

"Oh stop! You're making me blush!"

"Hey, <expletive>! I saw her first! Back off, man!"

"You wanna go, punk?"

"Yeah I wanna go, you jiggling, fart-faced <expletive>-nugget!"

"Fart-faced?! Why you little!"

The producers appeared from their producer-rooms to restrain the midfielder and the coach.

The lone female then spoke, "So, Coach Mutfakseven, what do you think of the group draw?"

"<Expletive>."

"Why thank you, Ms. de Enrique de Martínez-Vicario de Obregón. I actually prepared a list unlike Mr. Sánchez-Rodriguez--"

"<Expletive>."

"--So let's run down the list.

Vtorbetin:
A team that some consider the favorite in Group A and even in the entire tournament, but certainly one that we can bring down. Vtorbetin has a coach whose greatest achievement is driving sheep. Sheep! He'll find that goats are much harder to deal with, to be sure. The match's outcome will likely hinge on the battle between our explosive defense and Vtorbetin's' young but equally explosive offense.

Proletarian Pandas:
Their very name is confusing. They claim to be pandas, but are they pandas? We don't even know! What we do know is that they are communists! Therefore it will be especially important for our strong, capitalist society to crush their bones into powder so that we may make our bread."

"Are you... all right, Mr. Mutfakseven?"

"<Expletive>ing <expletive>."

"Yes, just fine. Excuse me. Now...

Buben:
Very secretive. Very suspicious. Very unquestionably evil. Their quiet nature means that they are out to destroy our very way of life! First through football! Then by putting communists into our country! We must destroy them now before it's too late! We must--!"

At this point, Mr. Mutfakseven was dragged away.

"Well that was certainly interesting. Wouldn't you say so, Calvin?"

"I just might, Maria. Now, taking a big gamble, I'm going to ask our national midfielder if he has anything to add about the final team, Kassyyk."

"<Expletive>ing <expletive>s don't stand a chance."

Faintly one can hear, "Communists! They're all communists!"

"Well, Maria, I see that we have a very interesting Baptism of Fire shaping up. Now let's turn to those old ladies who are turning one hundred this week..."

Vtorbetin

06-06-2005, 09:40

Brasket Warns Caprine States

It seems that the tournament has only just started, and already there are some mouth-watering prospects. Behind Hypocria versus Spruitland, Vtorbetin versus Caprine States looks to be the biggest of these prospects, especially considering the early exchange of words between the two teams.

A number of high-profile Caprine States figures have already expressed the ease with which the team will crush Vtorbetin, and go on to win the tournament.

Upon hearing these remarks, coach Tony Brasket immediately called a press conference.

"I understand that the Caprine States team are excited about their first international tournament, and they are naturally going to be confident about their chances. However, there is a very thin line between confidence and arrogance, and I for one cannot stand arrogance."

"I therefore urge the Caprine States coach, Mustafa Akburun, to tell his team, and perhaps senior officials of the country, to tone things down. This is not only for my piece of mind, but will undoubtedly work in their favour as well. As far as I can recall, no team that has said they are going to win it outright at the beginning of the tournament has done so, and having made this especially clear on national television, Ricardo Sánchez-Rodriguez has put his team in immense danger of failing now."

"It's all about morale. You build it up too early, and the team becomes overconfident. Then, when they lose a match, their moral plummets...they go into a depression and it's near impossible to drag them out of it. Caprine States, you need to retract you rcomments immediately, or face the wrath of the footballing god...that was a metaphor, there isn't really a footballing god."

It is expected that Brasket's comments will result in a severe backlask from the more flamboyant members of Caprine States. However, should Akburun heed this advice, his team will undoubtedly go far. If we look at other overconfident and arrogant sides, perhaps none moreso than Somalialand, they tend to fade away over a period of time until they are no more. Caprine States need to wipe this out before it wipes tham out.

Fmjphoenix

06-06-2005, 21:30

Fmjphoenix Region

Matchday 1:
Hypocria 0 - Kericia 1
Spruitland 3 - Invincible BoB 0

Region Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Spruitland 3 1 0 0 3:0 3
2. Kericia 3 1 0 0 1:0 1
3. Hypocria 0 0 0 1 0:1 -1
4. Invincible BoB 0 0 0 1 0:3 -3

Esrevistan

07-06-2005, 03:31

ooc: Bleh, I forgot to log in to my nation for a while, so I missed the telegram. I'm still up for this, if it isn't too late.

Spruitland

07-06-2005, 03:47

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y197/Spruitland/sportsgazette.jpg

Invincible? Not quite!

Spruitland – Invincible Bob: 3 – 0

Three minutes. That’s how long it took for the Spruitland Wabbits to disprove Invincible Bob’s invincibility. A fast Samson Trouwel breakaway on the right, a lovely cross to the edge of the area, a subtle chest lay-off from Jan Wolters, and a devastating shot from Dirk Jools. 1-0, and the Wabbits were off to a flying start.

The early lead was ideal for Spruitland, allowing them to leave the initiative to Invincible Bob, using a strong organization to hold off any attacking attempts, and quickly switching to the offensive whenever they intercepted the ball. Both Balt Luyckx and Samson Trouwel covered a lot of ground on the wings in the first half, and it paid off, regularly resulting in scoring opportunities.

Jan Wolters managed a header at goal but didn’t quite get the direction right, and Waldo Gelmer got in a shot from a tight angle, adequately blocked by the keeper, all in the first half hour. Invincible Bob was unable to reply, a long distance shot straight into the arms of Simon Briers being their best chance of the first half.

With half time approaching, Spruitland increased the pressure, enforcing three corners in quick succession. And the third one was a charm as Laszlo Bosch connected his head to the ball and sent it into the net, out of the goalkeeper’s reach.

Invincible Bob played sharper football after the break, managing to poke an occasional hole in the Wabbits’ defense, but Simon Briers only had to get down to save twice. The Wabbits played it cool most of the second half, not in any particular hurry. The midfield kept control over the game, with occasional fast breakaways over the wings still the main tactic to create scoring opportunities.

But it was an attack through the center that laid the groundwork for the third goal, as Waldo Gelmer penetrated the area with the ball and battled himself into position for a clear shot. Not-so-Invincible goalie Hiram Dalton wrestled the ball out of the goal, but Jan Wolters followed up well and was left with a simple tap in.

“Told ya it’d be easy,” Dirk Jools said after the match. “Invincible Bob, really! More like Invisible Bob if you ask me! One down, who’s next, baby? I wanna score some more goals!”

Spruitland coach Cor Bensen’s enthusiasm was slightly more tempered, cautioning – as always – against over-confidence.

“Things went well for us today,” Bensen said. “Better than I expected, to be honest. True, we were the stronger team, but that doesn’t always mean much. Getting that early goal made things a lot easier though. It was just a matter of staying focused from then on.”

“This is a great start for us, but we’re not there yet. We’re gonna keep the partying to a minimum tonight. I’ve made it clear to the boys, anyone who’s not in the hotel by 4 am is not playing tomorrow.”

Spruitland – Invincible Bob: 3 – 0
1-0 Jools (3’)
2-0 Bosch (41’)
3-0 Wolters (72’)

Caprine States

07-06-2005, 03:50

Having just watched a press conference held by the head coach of the Vtorbetin national team, Caprine Assistant Coach Juliet Bonaventure composed an immediate response.

FROM: Juliet Bonaventure
TO: Tony Brasket
CC: Mustafa Akburun, Caprine States Ministry of Culture
SUBJECT: RE: BoF Commentary

Mr. Tony Brasket,

I preface everything by saying that neither the Caprine States national squad nor the government of the Confederacy of Caprine States endorses any statements made in any medium unless a specific indication is made to the contrary.

I have read the transcript for the broadcast that you seem to be referring to, and I agree that the statements made are quite ridiculous. You must take into account, however, that this was a broadcast made at 3 AM locally and that many other broadcasts with similar themes have not shown any of the same traits as this one. You must also note the people making the statements--Mr. Ricardo Sánchez-Rodriguez is the youngest player on the team as well as the most unabashedly brash. He is also an extremely intelligent player who uses his brashness as a psychological weapon, and it has a history of being effective. On the broadcast, Mr. Sánchez-Rodriguez never made a comment against Vtorbetin, opting instead to show immense confidence in his own squad; it should be noted that anything less from him would be taken as a sign of weakness, and Mr. Sánchez-Rodriguez probably knew that. As for Mr. Ali Mutfakseven, there are a number of factors contributing to the statements he made, and to protect his person I shall not divulge them to you. He has not, however, displayed any serious degree of arrogance, nor would it matter even if he had.

This one broadcast that has drawn a press conference is the exception to the rule, which you will certainly notice if you watch other programs on Caprine television stations.

Now I will ask that you not hold anymore press conferences on this matter. We are a fiercely independent people, Mr. Brasket, and we cannot tolerate football coaches from other countries issuing ultimata, no matter how facetious they may be. I apologize, on behalf of the Caprine States national football team, if you took offense with that broadcast, but the only people who can retract the words are those who said them themselves.

We will deal with our team in the manner which we choose, and we do not want to be advised on how to do this unless we ask for such advice. Good luck in your matches, and we will meet you soon.

Sincerely,

Juliet Bonaventure

Hypocria

07-06-2005, 09:18

Titans Down But Not Out

Hypocria 0 – 1 Kericia

Touted as one of the favourites before the tournament kick-off Hypocria went in to matchday 1 full of confidence. Perhaps they were too confident as The Titans were brought down to earth with a bump by a team previously written off in the Hypocrian media.

It’s not as if The Titans played badly, far from it. They played well but found in their path a young goalkeeper who clearly had a point to prove to his coach. Byron McMichel is his name and the number 0 on his back proved to be very appropriate as he saved everything that The Titan’s attackers could fire at him.

The first half was a quiet affair as players on both sides adjusted to the pressure of their first international match. A low drive, just wide, from Shirko and a long ranged Baxter effort, well saved, were the only Hypocrian efforts on goal in the half. At the other end Kindelan had nothing to do as Kericia didn’t register a shot.

Clearly unhappy at his side’s performance coach N’Dumbu Nsungu made a switch at the interval, bringing on Andy Harris for Adam Whitmore. Harris went to left back while Poskas was pushed forward to take up Whitmore’s role on the left of midfield.

The second half had a much faster tempo and Liberda forced an excellent save from the keeper shortly after the restart. But the defining moment of the match came in the 58th minute when Kericia forward, Krueger, got away from Blake and squared the ball across the area for his strike partner, Schooley, to side foot into the back of the net. This spurred The Titans into life and McMichel was forced into a great double save, denying first Liberda and then Burdali from the rebound.

With 20 minutes left on the clock the coach made a double change in an attempt to salvage his first game in charge. Off went Poskas and Petras and on came Braganza and, fan favourite, Danny West as the formation switched to 4-3-3. The Titans poured forward but McMichel would not be beaten. As gaps opened at the back Kindelan had to stay alert on a number of occasions to prevent Kericia really rubbing salt in the wounds. On 88 minutes the U21 combination of Baxter and West nearly snatched a point as West latched on to a Baxter through ball and curled a right footed shot past the advancing keeper only to see it clip the post and go wide. It wasn’t to be.

After the match the coach remained upbeat,

“I can’t fault my players for effort, we could have played all day today and still not scored. And aside from their goal we defended well too. If your going to lose a match it’s better to lose the first one, Bettia did and look where they finished.”

Hypocria

1. Kindelan
2. Golla
3. Poskas (replaced by 8. Braganza, 70)
4. Baxter
5. Nalepka
6. Blake
7. Petras (replaced by 20. West, 70)
9. Shirko
10. Liberda
11. Whitmore (replaced by 19. Harris, 45)
18. Burdali

Starting 11

Liberda Shirko

Burdali

Whitmore Petras

Baxter

Poskas Nalepka Blake(c) Golla

Kindelan

Finishing 11

Liberda Shirko West

Burdali Baxter Braganza

Harris Nalekpa Blake Golla

Kindelan

In the other region match Spruitland easily dispatched Invincible Bob 3 – 0 to top the group on goal difference.

Matchday 1:
Hypocria 0 - Kericia 1
Spruitland 3 - Invincible BoB 0

Region Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Spruitland 3 1 0 0 3:0 3
2. Kericia 3 1 0 0 1:0 1
3. Hypocria 0 0 0 1 0:1 -1
4. Invincible BoB 0 0 0 1 0:3 -3

Vilita

07-06-2005, 15:36

Vilitan Region :: Matchday 1 Scores

Vtorbetin 0 - 0 Caprine States
Proletarian Pandas 1 - 0 Buben

Matchday 1
Vtorbetin v. Caprine States - ( National View Stadium ) -
Proletarian Pandas v. Buben - ( Lirai Asku Stadium ) -

Matchday 2
Vtorbetin v. Proletarian Pandas - ( Marine World Park ) -
Buben v. Kassyyk - ( National View Stadium ) -

Matchday 3
Vtorbetin v. Buben - ( Lirai Asku Stadium ) -
Kassyyk v. Caprine States - ( Marine World Park ) -

Matchday 4
Vtorbetin v. Kassyyk - ( Lirai Asku Stadium ) -
Proletarian Pandas v. Caprine States - ( National View Stadium ) -

Matchday 5
Caprine States v. Buben - ( Marine World Park ) -
Proletarian Pandas v. Kassyyk - ( National View Stadium ) -

Caprine States

07-06-2005, 19:41

From the newspaper Hürriyet:

Defenses Prevail in Nil-Nil Draw

Vtorbetin 0
Caprine States 0

In club competition a nil-nil draw almost invariably means boredom and stagnation, but at the international level, things can get pretty tense. In this battle of giants countless blows were struck by both sides, but as one might expect, in the end neither was able to significantly damage the other.

Things looked like they may not have been heading that way when Vtorbetin got off to a quick start. Taking advantage of a Caprine States backfield that had not quite settled in, Vtorbetin attacked relentlessly, hardly losing possession of the ball any time during the first ten minutes of the match. The midfielders looked like they had yet to wake up, leaving it up to the back four to stop Vtorbetin. Young Vtorbetine Francesco Kmatx challenged Eski three times in these first ten minutes, and almost made the score 1-0 with 15 yard shot that looked like it should only be left on display lest its beauty be tarnished, but Eski saved it and the rebound with two stunningly acrobatic saves.

It was after this last save--when Eski somehow caught the ball and held it--that the match suddenly shifted out of Vtorbetin's favor. With a resounding bah that seemed to rally the troops even if they couldn't hear it over the screaming fans, the ancient keeper booted the ball three-quarters of the way down the field, ending the early run put on by Vtorbetin.

The rest of the half was a spectacle of good form as both teams played in their element despite the lack of scoring, and the half-second silences that came before one side's fans would explode into cheers were themselves some of the most amazing moments of the match. The half ended after just one minute of stoppage time, and both sides went into their locker rooms with smirks on their faces, knowing that they were playing well, but simply unable to connect with the net.

Coach Akburun made no substitutions during the half--which isn't surprising because he rarely does. When the Caprine side came out again, they looked much the same as they had when they ran out before the match except for the grass stains and various cuts.

The second half began as a continuation of the first with both teams battling tirelessly. They made it look pretty, but just as in the previous half, neither team could score a goal. Things changed in the 58th minute, however, when otherwise excellent defender Isreal Dooney made a clumsy sliding tackle against Caprine striker Kankaldiran with his cleats partly up. Kankaldiran took a horribly awkward tumble and immediately clutched his right knee with a grimace. Dooney was booked and Kankaldiran was led off the field with assistance, refusing to go in a stretcher. In his place came the veteran Freddie Ipson.

Wanting revenge, and likely urged by Coach Akburun to not do it by making ugly tackles, the Caprine offense went into overdrive. Over the next fifteen minutes the ball was outside of Vtorbetine territory for no more then three. Two shots that clanked off the crossbar and one that found the left post complemented two very pretty tries on goal during this span, but still the scoreboard remained empty.

Around the 74th minute, the Caprine drive cooled and both sides continued to play just the way they had the entire match up until the final whistle. The teams congratulated each other, though there was a silent frustration felt among both that neither could score. In a gesture of goodwill Vtorbetine almost-captain Keneth Fahner walked up to Caprine captain Johnny Martin and handed him his jersey. In response, Martin undid the velcro on his and shrugged it off, adding the foam coverings of his horns a few seconds later with a grin. Both captains (or demi-captains) went back to pump up their still-cheering fans, who were also quite happy to hear that preliminary x-rays on Kankaldiran's knee were negative--who knows what sort of blemish might have come up if they weren't.

This hard-fought fight may well be the best match of the entire tournament. Not just because the play was lively and exciting and damn good... but mostly that's why. The rest of it has to do with the confidence afforded to each team, who have now proven that they do not suck; the remaining group matches should indeed be quite interesting for both squads.

BOOKINGS:
Dooney, Merithew (Vtorbetin)
Bözböyle, Latour (Caprine States)

TEAM:

4-3-3 Formation

1. Eski
2. Harrison
17. Bözböyle
5. Özgür
33. Hansen
7. Sánchez-Rodriguez
13. Martin
16. Latour (sub. 4. Gardener, 68 minutes)
22. Yildirim
10. Tompkinson
66. Kankaldiran (sub. 8. Ipson, 58 minutes)

Unused Substitutes:

20. Clemente
12. Gerard
18. Nilsen
99. Denktas
15. Schwartz
0. Bokolursa
23. Gómez
11. Wilkins

Vilitan Region Pts W D L GF:GA GD GP
1. Proletarian Pandas 3 1 0 0 1:0 1 1
2. Vtorbetin 1 0 1 0 0:0 0 1
-. Caprine States 1 0 1 0 0:0 0 1
4. Kassyyk 0 0 0 0 0:0 0 0
5. Buben 0 0 0 1 0:1 -1 1

Kericia

07-06-2005, 20:35

Kericia Upends Hypocria 1-0

KNS
Jun 7 05

Kericia-
“Without the invincibility of Invincible Bob they could be looking at a disappointing campaign.”
Despite being written off (above) by the Hypocrian media and others in the Fmjphoenix Division, Kericia won their opening game with help from the young keeper Byron McMichel. McMichel proved he belongs as a starter, not allowing a goal slip by in his inaugaral international game. Kericia played the "disrespected underdog" card, playing with a fierce intensity that helped uplift Kericia to victory. After a 0-0 halftime score, both sides played better and Josh Schooley scored the winning goal off of a John Krueger assist. Head coach Ken Peterson on the victory: "It's great to start off with a win, especially against such a good team. We showed we can compete, and Byron showed he's ready for big time international play."

Kericia point leaders:
Josh Schooley - 1
John Krueger - 1

Vtorbetin

08-06-2005, 10:56

Worzel Partridge here, bringing you up to date with all the latest goings on in the pre-World Cup 23 Baptism Of Fire Cup.

So, match day one results are in, and the game we all we hoped wouldn’t happen today has…happened. It was a match that would have undoubtedly made a scintillating group stage finale, but no, our dreams have been shattered as both teams took to the same pitch at the same time on the same day. No, we’re not talking about Buben versus Kassyk – we’re talking Vtorbetin versus Caprine States. Whatever the score, it was bound to be a good game. We’ll find out if it was in a moment.

My special guest today is the leader of Vtorbetin and an avid sports fan, Prince Kaphtwo. And with him…he was so good, the first time round, we just had to have him back – it’s Dr. Hermann Klipper! We’ll be discussing this match and other important focus points later on.

Now, There was a lot of pre-match hype involving both managers, and the stadium officials were worried that there would be some trouble between the two sets of fans. However, the match went off without a hitch, a solitary Hockey Canada fan being arrested for indecent exposure. And I always thought it was cold down there…

Okay, let’s have a look at some of the early exchanges. Prince Kaphtwo, would you like to take us through this?

“Most certainly, Worzel. As we can see, a lot of the early possession was ours, as a dead Caprine States midfield gave little resistance. We had a number of chances, including this one on ten minutes. Kmatz is on the ball and…ooh, that’s a good save…and again from the rebound. That was probably our best chance at the time. I think from then on the match was pretty even, with both sides getting a good number of chances. However, no player looked particularly confident in front of goal. This is Jere Ka. He’s normally very calm and composed, but perhaps this was a little awe-inspiring for him. He puts that shot well wide – any other match and it would have been in the net, and I think that encapsulates both sides for the rest of the half. This chance from the Caprine States is a typical example. I can’t quite make out which player it is…possibly the number ten…the ball gets a little under his feet, but it’s practically an open goal. He just can’t seem to get the shot away, and Von Bietsch gets back there and snatches the ball away. He’ll be feeling a little miffed tonight, I’m sure. Again, they hit the crossbar here… similar sorts of thing for the rest of the game…and there’s the whistle.”

Who do you think will have been happier with the 0-0 draw?

“I think it would probably have been fairly even. Both sides played competently, and the only thing missing was the goals. I’m sure the team talks at half time were pretty short, probably just ‘keep on with what you’re doing and you’ll score’. It’s just a shame that we didn’t see that.”

Yes, I agree. Dr. Klipper, you left Caprine States out of your pre-tournament predictions. Was there any particular reason for that?

“Ah yes…I believe there was a slight rotational anomaly of the planet the day after my last visit here. That shook things up quite badly. It didn’t really affect us, but it propelled the Caprine States team into the spotlight. If we look at the name, it seems fairly ordinary…there’s nothing particularly interesting in it. This could mean that they’re nothing to worry about, and that this is just an early onslaught. However it could also mean that they are a team to be cautious about. Their normality could be deceptive, and we may see a few surprises in the group due to their presence.”

You mean a top three other than the one we discussed?

“Anything is possible.”

Indeed. Now, there was an incident during the match involving the now Cefn Albion player, Isreal Dooney. Let’s take a look at it shall we? Tell us about it, Prince Kaphtwo.

“Yes, well he just goes in a little late here. I think as it was his first offence it was a little harsh to give him the booking. If I’m being honest I think the Caprine States player made the most of it. There was no need for him to go off on a stretcher, that’s for sure. Then again, some things look worse up close than on the television camera, so maybe I’ve missed something.”

Yes. And so, the game hyped up to be the match of the tournament ended in a goalless stalemate. Was this a good result? Let’s talk live with the Vtorbetin manager, Tony Brasket. Tony?

“Hello Worzel.”

How was the game from where you were sitting?

“I think it was a good performance against a good team. We played to our strengths and although we didn’t score, neither did they, so that was a bonus. I think we were looking at two of the best teams in the competition here, so it was always going to be tight.”

Were you worried that the pre-match antics would affect the performance today?

“I think the lads are mature enough to know that what goes on off the pitch stays off the pitch, and vice versa. I think the fans today, from both sides, deserve praise. There were a number of opportunities to antagonize the other, and neither did. If we saw more of that in the game it‘d be good.”

After this performance, do you think Vtorbetin will qualify for the next round?

“It’s looking good, Worzel, it’s looking good.”

Thank you. Tony Brasket there.

So, with the two top teams drawing a blank, it is rather bizarrely the Proletarian Pandas that are top of the table. They defeated an inexperienced Buben side 1-0 in another close match. However, with four match days left to play, the race is still wide open. Vtorbetin’s next match is against the Proletarian Pandas, and it’s an opportunity to get their first win under their belt in readiness for the slightly easier games left to play after that. Can I have your predictions for tomorrow’s matches please? Prince Kaphtwo?

“I believe it will be 3-1 to us.”

And Dr. Klipper?

“According to the patterns in Vilita’s membranal structure, it should be a 2-0 victory to Vtorbetin.”

Very good. Well, they’re predicting a win. Find out if they were right at the same time tomorrow. Good night.

Fmjphoenix

08-06-2005, 20:05

Fmjphoenix Region

Matchday 2:
Hypocria 2 - Invincible BoB 1
Spruitland 1 - Kericia 0

Region Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Spruitland 6 2 0 0 4:0 4
2. Hypocria 3 1 0 1 2:2 0
3. Kericia 3 1 0 1 1:1 0
4. Invincible BoB 0 0 0 2 1:5 -4

Spruitland

09-06-2005, 04:30

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y197/Spruitland/sportsgazette.jpg

Bad game, good result

Spruitland – Kericia: 1 – 0

“We took the three points and that’s what matters,” team captain Frederic Juneau said after the match, and that summed it up nicely. The game wasn’t much to speak of with two teams more concerned about not losing than about winning, and the impartial spectator probably wished he’d spent the two hours doing something more fun, like getting a root canal.

The game got off to a promising start though, with a header-lob from Dirk Jools that landed on the crossbar around the 10 minute mark, but it quickly degenerated into a cautious midfield battle from then on.

The only other goal scoring opportunity in the first half was for Kericia, on an indirect free kick for a nasty foul from Asa Noegel, which saw him lucky to get away with yellow. The deflected ball ended up in the feet of surprised Kericia forward John Krueger, but his shot was nowhere near the target.

The half-time speech from Spruitland coach Cor Bensen must’ve made an impression, because the Wabbits came out of the dressing room with much more voracity. Young Kerician goalkeeper Byron McMichel had to prove his worth twice in the early stage of the second half, punching a powerful header from Jools over the bar, and throwing his body into the path of a close range shot from Jan Wolters shortly after that.

But McMichel’s next intervention, on an inswinging corner from Luyckx, proved insufficient as he climbed to punch the ball straight into Samson Trouwel’s feet. Trouwel didn’t hesitate and buried the ball into the net with a verocious strike.

And then the game fizzled out again. Spruitland made a few more reluctant attacking attempts, together adding up to about three quarters of a chance, but after that the Wabbits’ entire focus was on defense.

Kericia tried to increase the pressure but was unable to take sufficient control over the match. Spruitland’s midfield and defense kept the ranks closed, giving away very few chances. And then there was always Simon Briers as well, determined to end the game with another clean sheet.

Briers did not have the busiest of days, but he performed solidly those few instances it was required. Only once the Spruitland goalkeeper had to come up big, on a devastating 20-meter shot from Josh Schooley, with the end of the game in sight.

When the referee blew the whistle to end the game, a fair portion of the neutral crowd had already left the stadium. Even the few thousand Spruitland supporters that had made the trip to Fmjphoenix were notably stingy with their applause.

“We got six out of six, and we have to be happy with that,” coach Cor Bensen says. “We’ll have to use a different approach in the match against Hypocria though. But I don’t think that will be a problem. We’ve been looking forward to that match for a while now.”

Hypocria won their game against Not-Quite-Invincible Bob and are now in joint second place with Kericia. Spruitland tops the group with maximum points and is already ensured of a place in the regional semi final, while a draw against Hypocria would be enough to skip the semi and go straight to the regional final.

“The hell with a draw,” Dirk Jools scowled. “I need to score a few more goals. This whole ‘defending a 1-0 lead’ crap is ridiculous. I think it’s high time for my first international hattrick. Hypocria’s the perfect team to do that against.”

Spruitland – Kericia: 1 – 0
1-0 Trouwel (57’)

Hypocria

09-06-2005, 09:23

Second Time Lucky

Hypocria 2 – 1 Invincible Bob
Liberda 48
West 75

After the shock defeat to Kericia this was a must win game for Hypocria and The Titans did not disappoint again, recording their first win in their second game.

Guylain N’Dumbu-Nsungu made just one change to the team that lost the first match with Hypocrium City’s Andy Harris replacing his club colleague Adam Whitmore in the starting 11. The change saw Ricky Poskas moved from left back to the left of midfield.

Liberda Shirko

Burdali

Poskas Petras

Baxter

Harris Nalepka Blake(c) Golla

Kindelan

The coach had clearly done a good job in preparing his players for this crunch game as they played the ball around with confidence from the first whistle with Marcus Baxter, who is set to seal a move to the Bettian Apex League, at the heart of every move.

It was his ball down the flank that released Poskas, the makeshift winger swung in a cross which Shirko headed wide. Baxter himself tried his luck from distance but the shot sent spectators scurrying for cover in the stand behind the Invincible Bob goal. Right winger Petras was the next to have a go as he flashed a cross-shot across the face of goal with Liberda a whisker away from connecting at the far post. The intent was there, but the goal was not forthcoming.

Invincible Bob too had chances, striker Dafydd Jones turned sharply in the penalty area but his shot was straight at Kindelan and captain, Theobald Lightfoot, forced a scrambling save from the Hypocria custodian from 20 yards.

Despite an entertaining first half the match was goalless at the break.

The Titans came out with all guns blazing after the restart and it took just 3 minutes for the opening goal of the game to arrive, their first in the competition. Baxter fired in a wicked free kick which Shirko headed goalwards, the ball was blocked on the line but only partial cleared and Partizan Drissa striker, Alex Liberda, lashed the rebound into the roof of the net.

A second goal followed on 61 minutes but it did not go according to the script. Invincible Bob goalkeeper, Hiram Dalton, punted the ball long towards Jones. The striker rose with Nalepka but both players missed it completely and midfielder Lightfoot ran in behind to go one on one with Kindelan. The captain kept his cool and fired low and hard into the bottom corner.

The coach reacted immediately by taking off the misfiring Shirko and bringing on Danny West, much to the delight of the Hypocrian fans in the stadium. With 15 minutes left on the clock the Sporting Mayo striker showed just why he is so popular. Golla played a long ball forward which was headed away by the Invincible Bob defence straight to West who, from nearly 25 yards out, hit the ball full on the volley and nearly burst the back of the net. It was a goal good enough to win any game and win the game and it did. The coach brought on Sinclair, for the quiet Burdali, and Costanzo, for Petras, to see out the final minutes. Sure enough the whistle blew and The Titans had recorded a priceless three points.

After the match coach N’Dumbu-Nsungu was understandably delighted with his first win in charge of the national team,

“It’s always nice to get your first win and fortunately I didn’t have to wait too long for mine. Certainly I’m unhappy at the manner of the goal we conceded but aside from that we played well and deserved to win by more. Obviously the defeat to Kericia left us with a lot to do in terms of topping the group but now we’re just going to concentrate on the next match. I’m really looking forward to the Spruitland game, it should be a great match. I’ve managed in a few Atlantian derbies in my career so I know how good they can be and I am confident we can go out and get the win.”

Match winner Danny West added,

“I know most of the Spruitland lads and they’re no better than we are, despite what that loud mouth Dirk Jools thinks. He’s going to get a hattrick? Don’t make me laugh. He couldn’t hit the side of a barn and that’s from inside the barn folks!”

Hypocria

1. Kindelan
2. Golla
3. Poskas
4. Baxter
5. Nalepka
6. Blake
7. Petras (Replaced by 17. Costanzo, 84)
9. Shirko (Replaced by 20. West, 62)
10. Liberda
18. Burdali (Replaced by 15. Sinclair, 79)
19. Harris

In the other regional match Kericia put up another spirited performance but The Wabbits were just too good for them, winning 1 – 0.

Matchday 2:
Hypocria 2 - Invincible BoB 1
Spruitland 1 - Kericia 0

That result assures Spuirtland of a place in the regional semi final but they won’t want to settle for that. The Titans currently sit in second place and look good for a place in the semi final but a big enough win over Spruitland and they will leapfrog The Wabbits and take 1st place. Kericia, in third, look like semi finalists as well but will be eyeing up that first final place too. After good performances against Hypocria and Spruitland they are unlikely to throw it away against bottom side Invincible Bob who require a big win to have any chance of a semi final berth.

Region Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Spruitland 6 2 0 0 4:0 4
2. Hypocria 3 1 0 1 2:2 0
3. Kericia 3 1 0 1 1:1 0
4. Invincible BoB 0 0 0 2 1:5 -4

With three teams still in the runing to finish top the final round of games are not to be missed. Stay tuned.

Kericia

09-06-2005, 11:54

Kericia Downed by Spruitland, 1-0

KNS
Jun 9 05

In Wednesday's game between Kericia and Spruitland, a favorite for the tournament emerged in Spruitland, while Kericia proved their not that far behind. Byron McMichel played a second straight good game, although the Kericia attack was slow and ineffective. Despite the loss, Kericia is in good position to advance to the next round, sitting in second place currently. Kericia will face the winless Invincible BoB squad next in a crucial match. Spruitland's next game is against Hypocria, which is an interesting matchup between two very good teams.

Spruitland

09-06-2005, 17:01

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y197/Spruitland/sportsgazette.jpg

Spotlight on:
Dirk Jools
“You get what you deserve.”

Despite his youth, Dirk Jools is one of the few real stars in the Spruitland national football team. Jools only turned 21 just before the start of the Baptism of Fire, but already boasts an impressive resume. The FC Albertine striker won the Spruitland championship title with his club twice and was named Man of the Season in both those seasons, also topping the goalscorers list in the most recently completed season.

Jools is also the current Under-21 topscorer, notching 6 goals in 9 caps for the Bunnies, including the very first international goal for Spruitland, for which he was awarded an Honorary Rabbit by King Alfons I himself. His performance at Under-21 World Cup XV launched Jools into true stardom, and he has been voted #1 in the Hottest Celebrity Top 100 twice since then by the readers of The Spruity Teen magazine.

The Spruitland Sports Gazette managed to catch up with Dirk Jools inbetween training sessions to ask him about this popularity, and about his goals and dreams, both on and off the football field.

SSG: Doesn’t the popularity bother you sometimes? It must be hard to focus on football when you have a horde of female fans following you around wherever you go?

DJ: “Doesn’t bother me at all, actually. I never understood how some athletes crack under the ‘pressure of popularity’. What pressure? When you have the kind of talent I have, you just know you’re gonna touch a lot of people’s hearts. It’s the most natural thing in the world. “

“I enjoy the attention I get, it makes me thrive. And, no, I don’t mind all those women following my every step. It’s convenient, if nothing else. Wherever in the world I’m playing, it saves me from having to dive into the nightlife to celebrate yet another victory. I can just open my hotel room door, pick out the cutest ones, and start partying immediately.”

SSG: Winning all those awards at such a young age must bring some pressure with it, though? It’s gonna be hard to keep doing better every year.

DJ: “I’m not too concerned about that. Awards and honors just come when they come. It’s true that by getting an Honorary Rabbit when I was 19 I already received the highest possible honor in Spruitland. Apart from King Alfons himself, I’m the only one who ever got it. But it’s like I said to His Majesty at the award ceremony: ‘You get what you deserve.’”

“That doesn’t mean I no longer have goals, though. On an international level, I’m only just getting started. Naturally I’d love to win the World Cup one day, though I realize that will be a tough nut to crack, unless the other Spruitland internationals improve drastically in the near future. You can’t choose the country in which you’re born, unfortunately.”

SSG: There have been rumors about a possible transfer to a top team abroad. It sounds like you’d be willing to consider that?

DJ: “Absolutely, though not just yet. I want to stay in Spruitland for a few more seasons, break a few more records, to drive up my contract value. Also, it’s important for Spruitland football that I don’t leave yet. I set a standard of quality in the First Division. Other strikers want to be like me, defenders bust their balls trying to stop me, and every goalkeeper wants to shine against me. I consider that an important role. If I leave Spruitland, who’s gonna do that?”

SSG: Hypocrian Danny West, perhaps? He’s had a promising debut for Sporting Mayo.

DJ: (laughs heartily) “Oh come on, you’ve got to be kidding! West is clearly a one-hit-wonder. Sure, he can score an occasional fancy lookin’ goal that might get a layman all excited, but anyone who knows football can see he’s not gonna cut it with the big guys.”

“And his latest statement about me, hah! I’m not even gonna dignify that with a response. I’ll just say this: Screw you, Danny, and the tractor you rode in on! We’ll see who has a big mouth after the game!”

And with that, Dirk Jools cut the interview short, kicking over his chair as he got up. After the match against Kericia, Jools predicted he would be scoring his first international hattrick against Hypocria. While that may prove a somewhat rash statement, all eyes in Spruitland and Hypocria will be on Jools and West, for what’s building up to be an interesting duel within the match.

Fmjphoenix

09-06-2005, 21:37

ooc note: I am now scorinating both regions
Vilitan Region

Matchday 2:

Vtorbetin 1 - Prolaterian Pandas 1
Buben 0 - Kassyyk 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Prolaterian Pandas 4 1 1 0 2:1 1
2. Vtorbetin 2 0 2 0 1:1 0
3. Caprine States 1 0 1 0 0:0 0
4. Kassyyk 1 0 1 0 0:0 0
5. Buben 1 0 1 1 0:1 -1

Here is how the rest of the Qualifying round will go.
Friday: Vilitan Regions MD3
Saturday: Vilitan Region MD4, Fmjphoenix MD3
Sunday: Vilitan Region MD5, top team in group advances to semi-finals, 2nd and 3rd place teams play quarter finals.
Monday: Quarter-Finals in both regions.
Tuesday: Semi-Finals in both regions
Wedensday: Third Place Play-Off in the morning, Finals in the afternoon.

I am on Mountain Standard Time, so it may be odd to you, but that is how the remaining days will go.

Hypocria

09-06-2005, 21:59

“We can now go live to Fmjphoenix where I believe Danny West is waiting to talk to us. Danny how is the mood in the squad ahead of the Spruitland game?”

“We are all looking forward to it. It should be a great game.”

“You have been on the bench for the first two games. Will it be three in a row?”

“No, the boss has told me that I will definitely be starting against Spruitland. Shirko has picked up a knock and he won’t be risked so I have my chance and I intend to take it.”

“There has been some animosity between yourself and a certain striker from Spruitland, can you shed any light on that?”

“I don’t like him, it’s as simple as that.”

“Oh, okay. But he was in great form last season wasn’t he?”

“I won’t deny that he had a good season. He was the top scorer and was selected in the all-star 11. Although he may want to check who his strike partner is in that all-star 11.”

“That would be you I’m guessing. He claims he is going to get a hattrick, you clearly disagree.”

“I saw Dirk plenty of times last season, sure he’s great from 3 yards but any further out than that and he struggles. The coach has pinned those hattrick comments up on the wall of the dressing room just to remind everyone. His comments didn’t really bother me but they sure annoyed our back four. I think Dirk may be on the end of some, shall we say, uncompromising challenges.”

“But what about the personal tension between you and him? Will you bury the hatchet after the match?”

“Oh I’ll bury the hatchet alright. I’ll bury the hatchet right into his smug forehead. And I would also like it on the record that I have never once ridden a tractor.”

“O-k. Is there anything else you would like to add?”

“He could do with losing a bit of weight as well.”

“On that note I think we will finish. Thank you Danny, for your time, and good luck in the match.”

Vtorbetin

10-06-2005, 16:26

This is Worzel Partridge, and we're all very, very pissed off here on the Baptism Of Fire Cup Show. Why? Because we were held to a draw under unfair circumstances by a Proletarian Pandas side that looked miserable and sullen, to say the least.

The Pandas were always going to be the host's favourites, due to their connections with the now ceased Big Pimento. However, we didn't seriously think that things would be fixed so badly here that, despite the fact they have done absolutey nothing to impress in this tournament so far, they top the group after two matchdays. What's more, our national team is facing a hard battle to avoid finishing in the bottom two, below at least one team that has done, that's right, bugger all, because of this blatant fixing.

Let's look at the incidents that led to the Pandas amazingly getting something from this game:

First off, a goal was disallowed by the referee from Jere Ka for an alleged foul on the keeper, despite the fact that television replays clearly show no contact between the two players.

Secondly, a further goal was not given because the linesmen thought the ball had not crossed the line, even though it quite blatantly had.

Third, the Pandas were given a penalty in the dying seconds of the match for an alleged foul, even though, once again, cameras prove that the player dived.

These incidences led to Vtorbetin being denied an almost certain three points, and what's more with the Caprine States holding a game in hand, Vtorbetin must now be looking for third place in the group. They still face Buben and Kassyyk, and two wins are the only possibility here.

When this tournament started, we said that it would take some tough opponents to stop us finishing top. We didn't even consider cheating a possibility in this tournament. Clearly we were wrong.

Caprine States

10-06-2005, 20:45

"Hello everyone, and welcome to the Caprine Sports Show here on FM 101.9, GOAT Radio. I'm your host, Johnny Go-Lightly, and with me in the studio I have the most renowned football expert in the Confederacy; the all-knowing, all-seeing, one-named Johan! Thank you for coming today, Johan."

"It is my pleasure, littler goat."

"Mmm, yes. But anyway, as we know, Matchday 2 in the Vilitan Region was the Confederacy's time to take a break and watch as the group began to take a more solid shape. Of course, a lot of people have been commenting on how having the break now is disadvantageous to our kids in uniform. What is your opinion on that, Johan?"

"This is a very good question, smaller goat. The first thing that one must take note of is that this is not how the Baptism of Fire is supposed to run. It was intended to be a tournament for sixteen teams; this year only nine showed up, and so they had to change the format, and change it quickly. This meant that some teams would get a possibly unfair advantage in the Vilitan Region by having breaks on the fourth or fifth matchday, letting their players rest when they need it most."

"Would there be any sort of system that would eliminate or mollify this advantage?"

"There are a few. One of the more popular ones says to keep the groups as they are now, but arrange the off-days so that one team is not playing on Matchday 3, three teams are not playing on Matchday 4, and one final team is not playing on Matchday 5. The teams that will not playing on Matchdays 3 or 5 will be randomly selected once the groups are generated. This of course gives a slight disadvantage to the team that doesn't play on Matchday 3, but it is fairer than the system in place now."

"Quite an interesting idea, Johan. But now, getting back to your mention of there being only nine teams in this Baptism of Fire, what do you think the near-halving of the field will do to the winner of the cup?"

"If you're talking about ranking, littler goat, then I definitely think it will have an adverse affect on the winner. There are definitely some good teams in this tournament, of course, but in a best-case scenario, we're only going to play three teams that pose a significant threat to us, and whoever wins this cup will definitely have a little asterisk next to their place in the records because they simply would not have had to fight as hard to get the cup."

"Alas, there is nothing we can do about that. Let's move on to the Vtorbetin versus Proletarian Pandas match, which is undoubtedly what most goats, old and young, were watching in lieu of the fact that our squad wasn't playing. Johan, let's get right down to the dirty parts of this--a lot of people, especially in the Vtorbetine media, have been criticizing the officials in that game for blowing calls and effectively taking two crucial points away from Vtorbetin by giving them a 1-1 tie. What are your thoughts on the match?"

"Ah, dear littler goat, this match was definitely not cleanly called. I can understand Vtorbetin's anger at the result of this game; with the level of their play and the chances that they created, it only seemed logical that they would win the game--perhaps even by two goals. Luck is a big factor, however, and I don't think that Vtorbetin was exactly being fair to the officials in this game. This is to say that they should not accuse them of cheating; for most of the crucial calls that were made in the game, the officials were out of position and unable to get a clear view of the play. This gave a lot of bad breaks to Vtorbetin, though there is one huge instance--as well as a few smaller ones--where Proletarian Pandas was hurt as well. In the 58th minute, there was a handball by a Vtorbetin defender near the penalty area; it was clearly accidental, but it was also clearly not called. About thirty seconds after that, the ball left Vtorbetine territory and the Pandas lost the momentum that they had been trying to build up. That was a crucial non-call in my opinion, and I blame the officials for missing it as well as others. I'm just glad that they won't be calling our next matches."

"How do you think the result will affect Vtorbetin?"

"Well, they're pissed off, naturally. But in the tournament, I don't think it will change much. The Caprine Squad is looking strong, and I think we have just as good a chance to win the division now as we would no matter what the result of this match was--maybe a little better now that we don't have to worry about winning all of our matches and outscoring Vtorbetin to take first place on goal difference. In the end I think it will shape up that we will end up at the top of the Vilitan Region, and Vtorbetin will get a grudge match against Proletarian Pandas. They'd probably like to have that chance."

"All right, well that's all the time we have for today. Thank you for coming to the studio, Johan."

"As I said, it's my pleasure, smaller goat."

"All right! Be sure to stay tuned for Cooking with Yasemin! I'm Johnny Go-Lightly, singing good night to you dear goats!"

Fmjphoenix

11-06-2005, 00:31

Vilitan Region

Matchday 3:
Vtorbetin 2 - Buben 0
Caprine States 1 - Kassyyk 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Vtorbetin 5 1 2 0 3:1 2
2. Prolaterian Pandas 4 1 1 0 2:1 1
3. Caprine States 4 1 1 0 1:0 1
4. Kassyyk 1 0 1 1 0:1 -1
5. Buben 1 0 1 2 0:3 -3

Vtorbetin

11-06-2005, 10:56

Worzel Patridge here with your daily dose of the Baptism Of Fire Cup Show.

And so they've done it. After last night's fantastic display againt Buben, Vtorbetin have got a step closer to qualifying for the next round, and now the only thing to do is push for the top spot and make the regional final. Today I've got a random passer-by off the street who may be slightly drunk on the sofa.

"What? Where am I?"

That's right - just keep stroking that cushion - you'll be fine. Now, after being totally pissed off yesterday with the fixed match against the Pandas, the Vtorbetites were out looking for revenge. It's just a shame for Buben that they were on the receiving end of the fury. Let's have a look at some of the action. Drunken guy off the street, do you want to talk us through it?

"Er, sure...I guess. Okay, there's a few peanuts dancing about there...looks like a polka of some kind."

Polka-ing peanuts?

"Those peguins are kicking a head about there - that's not allowed is it?"

What are you talking about?

"Ooh, he's caught the fish in the net. It's a big 'un!"

Are we looking at the same thing here?

"Wow - another fish, and only seven minutes after the first one. They're certainly biting today!"

Okay, that's enough from you. We can just assume that it was a good show and that we won. Now, this win gave us five points, and with Buben and Kassyyk stuck on one each, it is now near impossible for Vtorbetin to finish lower than fourth, pending a huge disaster...but that won't happen, will it?

However, simply qualifying won't be enough for us. All eyes will be on the Caprine States versus Prolaterian Pandas game. If this ends in a draw, then the top spot finish could be on the cards. However, this'll be unlikely, as it will almost undoubtedly be that the Caprine States won' be affected by the host's fixing attempts, meaning they'll win.

Whatever the result Vtorbetin's must beat Kassyyk, and the bookmakers have us as clear favourites, with Kassyyk having made little to no effort insofar. We'll have that result for you, as well as some other stuff tomorrow.

Spruitland

11-06-2005, 14:01

Spruitland goalkeeper Simon Briers was celebrating his good form with a full option massage by a local Fmjphoenician massage therapist. He smiled contently. This was the perfect way to prepare for the match against Hypocria. Briers had allowed no goal in the tournament so far, and he was determined to keep it that way.

He closed his eyes and moaned softly as the masseuse started working on one of his pressure points. This girl is good, Briers thought. Maybe I should offer her a full time job. Or marry her, even.

Just as he felt a major release of tension coming up, the hotel room door flew open violently. Briers folded double, and pulled a muscle in his lower back. The girl jumped back with a surprised squeak.

“God dammit Jools, didn’t you see the damn sock on the doorknob!?” Briers dug his fingers into his lower back in an attempt to drive the pain away.

Dirk Jools, Spruitland’s star striker, ignored Briers’ agony. He pulled the towel off the goalkeeper’s waist and tossed it to the masseuse. Briers quickly covered himself with a pillow.

“Take a hike, babe. You can finish up later.”

“I’m bloody well gonna need it now,” Briers muttered, tentatively stretching his back. The girl hesitated for a moment, but another fierce look from Jools made her scurry out the door.

“Did you see that ridiculous interview on Hypocrian tv?!” Jools shot out as he started pacing through the room. Briers forgot his painful grimace for a moment to roll his eyes.

“Of course I did. I always have the tv on when I have a girl like that in my room.”

“Well you should have!” He stopped pacing and pointed a finger at Briers. “That teammate of yours is taking this too far. He’s pushing his luck, I tell you!”

“Who, West? Now what?”

“You should have heard the vile he was spewing!” Jools kicked a chair through the room. “I can live with the derogatory comments about my ability as a striker, nobody takes those seriously anyway. Hell, I’ll even ignore the death threats, no matter how brutal. But… he broke the rules. He took this to a personal level! He…” Jools closed his eyes for a moment, shuddered visibly. “He called me fat, Simon.”

Briers frowned. “That’s it? Oh come on, man, you’re not gonna let a little thing like that get to you?”

But Jools wasn’t listening. He was studying his profile in the wardrobe mirror, one hand on his stomach, the other on his buttocks.

“You don’t think I’m fat, do you? I worked hard to get my body in this magnificent shape! You think I should lose a few more pounds? Here, feel my butt.”

“No! For cryin’ out loud, you’re not fat, Jools! Cut it out!”

Jools nodded, then scowled and started pacing again. “I’ve gotta get him back. Come up with something that hurts. You know him, what’s he like? There’s gotta be some dirt I can use.”

“Oh just give it a rest, man!”

“Come on, Briers, it’s time to choose sides here. Just give me something I can work with. Does his breath smell? Does he sleep with a teddy bear? Anything, come on!”

“Jools, I really don’t know him that well, he’s –“

“He’s a poof, ain’t he? I’m sure he is! Go on, you can tell me.”

“I don’t know! I don’t think so… Look, can’t you just drop it?”

“Drop it!?” Jools kicked the chair through the room again. “Nobody calls me fat and gets away with it! Nobody, you hear me!?”

“Alright alright. But don’t use the press to get your revenge. Get even on the field, that’s much more effective. Score that hattrick – hell, score two! That’ll show him.” Jools seemed doubtful, so Briers pushed the point home. “This whole mudslinging business is getting old, you’re gonna lose fans if you keep it up.”

“You think so?” Jools perked up. He looked thoughtful for a moment, then nodded. “Get even on the field, I can do that. Okay, I’m gonna be the bigger man and not reply to this slander. I’ll just whisper a few things in his ear when the referee ain’t looking. That should get him nicely worked up.”

Briers wanted to say something, but Jools had already started to leave, so he didn’t bother. Then Jools turned around again.

“And you better not let that scumbag score against you! Or you’ll be needing a whole platoon of masseuses to patch you up after I’m done with you!”

He turned on his heels, paused briefly to cast another glance at his profile in the mirror, sucking in his stomach, then stormed out of the room.

Prolaterian Pandas

11-06-2005, 16:21

Foul Play Gets Pandas Results

The Prolaterian Pandas are the biggest bunch of cheats and liars you'll ever find. They're a terrible team who has no business winning matches, let alone having a place in the cup. Just a bunch of foul goons who run amongst the pitch mucking around and making life hard for other players so that other nations' press can cry about how their team has been wronged.

Let's take a look at some of the highlights from their most recent match against heavily favored, Vtorbetin:

(0') At the start of the match, the captains exchanged handshakes with themselves and the referees. At this time, Prolaterian Panda captain Eusebio Banks hands the head referee a stainless steel briefcase as a show of "good faith".

(16') Vtorbetin megastar Jere Ki scores an apparent goal, though the referee judges that the player made contact with the keeper and disallows the goal. What a terrible call! Has the referee put in his contact lenses today?

(23') Jere Ki splits through the incompetent Pandas' defense and lets a screamer go that kisses the crossbar and drops straight down, and then kicks out. What an obvious goal! Why isn't there any indication? Even a blind man could have told you that was in!

(38') Finally, Vtorbetin gets on the board with a goal so good and so pure that no one, no matter how corrupt, couldn't disregard that it went in. An Asa Cardoni header off a Vtorbetin corner kick finds the top corner in the net, leaving all to marvel in awe. It should be 3-0 but it looks like Vtorbetin will have to settle for the 1-0 lead going into the half.

(55') Jere Ki, who was a man possessed on this day, splits the Panda defense again and winds up for a shot. Out of nowhere, Biff Oglethorpe comes sliding in and take him out in a brutal, last man challenge. The referee has no choice but to pull out the red, but what's this... a red card for Jere Ki for playacting? That's not right! Every camera angle clearly indicated that Ki was brutally taken out by the tempermental Oglethorpe. He's even hobbling off the field with a bit of a limp.

(70') Behind the play, Mike Greenaway kicks the Vtorbetin keeper "between the goalposts", sending the keeper rolling on the ground in pain. What's this? No foul? How could the referee's assistants have missed that? The keeper looks like a fish out of water clutching his groin. What a shameful exhibition of officiating!

(90'+2') Alex Marinho pulls off a dive that would even make Filipo Inzaghi proud and the referee points to the spot despite there not being a Vtorbetin player within a 3 yard radius of the player. Calypso Martins steps up to take the penalty and kicks it low and left, exactly the way the Vtorbetin keeper had guessed it. However, poor field management was the culprit on this goal, as the ball skipped off a bald spot on the grass and over the sprawling Vtorbetin keeper. What a cleverly placed hole in the field by the organizers! They must have been thinking when they put it there, "Wow, that'll really screw them over".

There was some bad blood after the match as the Vtorbetin manager hinted at some foul play and shady tactics employed by the Prolaterian Panda team and the event organizers. Prolaterian Pandas manager, Conrad Sharp's rebuttle to the manager's allegation was "I wonder if he wants some cheese with that whine". Surely, this isn't the last we'll hear from these two squads.

Caprine States

11-06-2005, 21:37

From the newspaper Hürriyet:

Kassyyk Falls Despite Caprine Flaws

Caprine States 1
Özgür 23'

Kassyyk 0

"We definitely made some mistakes today. I'd have to say that our play wasn't so much sloppy as just... unfortunate and inadequate. We kept our heads and we kept the game but somehow we just didn't play up to the level we expected. Needless to say practice is going to be rough for these kids tomorrow." We could set Coach Mustafa Akburun's post-match quote here and let it tell the story, but some elaboration is certainly warranted.

Kassyyk played a very technical match from the start, maintaining an admirable discipline as the fluid Caprine lines tried to wash over and make a big play. Neither the feints by Caprine States nor the counter-attacks by Kassyyk provoked much response from the crowd during the first fifteen minutes of play. None of the chances looks exceptionally promising for either side, and it was not difficult to imagine this match ending in a nil-nil draw like the one against Vtorbetin.

This changed when Kassyyk over-extended itself on one of its attacks. Defender Erkan Bözböyle, the speedy half of the Rumbling Angora Wall, started sprinting along the left sideline as backup keeper Eduardo Clemente--who was playing to allow starter Eski to nurse a sore right hand--collected the ball. With pinpoint accuracy, Clemente hit Bözböyle in stride with a curling pass, and suddenly Kassyyk was trying to stop something deadly from happening by collapsing upon Mr. Bözböyle. At exactly the perfect time, however, Bözböyle shot a sudden pass over the heads of Kassyyk's players and to his colleague Bülent Özgür, who was uncharacteristically far away from Bözböyle. As the Kassyyk defense struggled to regroup and reform, Özgür flicked the ball ahead to Freddie Ipson, playing for the injured Kankaldiran. For an almost heartbreaking moment, Ipson stopped after about twenty feet of running. The Caprine crowd, which had been cheering maniacally on that drive into Kassyyk territory, suddenly fell eerily silent. They need not have worried, however. In what was clearly a practiced routine, Ipson crossed the ball to what appeared to be only Kassyyk's players until suddenly a sprinting Bülent Özgür ran up, leaped, and headed the ball in right past the keeper's head with a ferocious velocity that would have made a lesser man pee his pants.

It was a brilliant goal that sent the fans in Marine World Park into a mad, shouting glee. The celebrations among the Confederacy's players were quite pronounced, with all players minus the sedate goalkeeper converging on Özgür to leap and bah with excitement as the Caprine States national squad scored its first international goal.

This mood would probably have lasted the whole game if the dynamic Ricardo Sánchez-Rodriguez hadn't destroyed it a scant three minutes later. As energized as anyone on the team, Sánchez-Rodriguez's play became yet more intense after the goal, and we really had begun to play the whole field with uplifting spirit. But then in the 26th minute, during a battle for a Caprine goal kick, the La Manchan made a terrible error. As he jumped up, he was followed by a very physical fellow from the Kassyyk side. Outpositioned by a clever move, Sánchez-Rodriguez tried to make an unnecessarily desperate play on the ball. The result was an absolutely awful-looking headbutt that sent both players tumbling to the ground. The referee did not hesitate to pull out the red card and send Sánchez-Rodriguez, who knew immediately that he went too far, off the field.

Kassyyk's player appeared to be all right after walking awkwardly around like a tiny kid for a few seconds, but the mood had suddenly turned. The Caprine side seemed to play a great deal more cautiously, and forwards Aloysius Tompkinson and Freddie Ipson were replaced with midfielders Gregor Schwartz and Ignacio Gómez to give the ten-man side more defensive ability, further slowing the game down.

Even with the addition of the midfielders, shifting the Caprine formation to a 4-4-1, Kassyyk was still able to create far too many chances, and it was only after halftime that Coach Akburun and Captain Johnny Martin were able to even the keel and keep the Caprine squad focused. The play was quite uneventful all throughout the second half, and when the game finally finished after five minutes of stoppage time, everyone in the stadium was glad for the fact.

Hopefully the next game, a widely heralded match between the Caprine States and the Proletarian Pandas, will provide much more entertainment to the sizeable contingent of goats in Vilita.

GOALS:
Caprine States: Özgür 23'
Kassyyk: None

BOOKINGS:
Sánchez-Rodriguez (s/o), Gómez (Caprine States)

TEAM:

4-3-3 Formation (later 4-4-1)

20. Clemente
2. Harrison
17. Bözböyle (sub. 18. Nilsen, 84 minutes)
5. Özgür
33. Hansen
7. Sánchez-Rodriguez (sent-off, 26 minutes)
13. Martin
16. Latour
22. Yildirim
10. Tompkinson (sub. 15. Schwartz, 28 minutes)
8. Ipson (sub. 23. Gómez, 28 minutes)

Unused Substitutes:

12. Gerard
99. Denktas
0. Bokolursa
11. Wilkins

Vilitan Region Pts W D L GF:GA GD GP
1. Vtorbetin 5 1 2 0 3:1 2 3
2. Proletarian Pandas 4 1 1 0 2:1 1 2
3. Caprine States 4 1 1 0 1:0 1 2
4. Kassyyk 1 0 1 1 0:1 -1 2
5. Buben 1 0 1 2 0:3 -3 3

Fmjphoenix

12-06-2005, 00:03

Fmjphoenix Region

Matchday 3:

Hypocria 2 - Spruitland 2
Invincible BoB 0 - Kericia 3

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Spruitland 7 2 1 0 6:2 4
----------------------------------------
2. Kericia 6 2 0 1 4:1 3
3. Hypocria 4 1 1 1 4:4 0
-----------------------------------------
4. Invincible BoB 0 0 0 3 1:8 -7

Vilitan Region

Matchday 4:
Vtorbetin 2 - Kassyyk 1
Caprine States 2 - Prolaterian Pandas 1

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Vtorbetin 8 2 2 0 5:2 3
-------------------------------------------
2. Caprine States 7 2 1 0 3:1 2
3. Prolaterian Pandas 4 1 1 1 3:3 0
-------------------------------------------
4. Kassyyk 1 0 1 2 1:3 -2
5. Buben 1 0 1 2 0:3 -3

Congratulations to Spruitland for taking the region and going straight to the regional final/semi-finals. Kericia and Hypocria will play in the regional semi-finals/quarter finals on Sunday after the Vilitan region finishes tommorow.

Spruitland

12-06-2005, 06:05

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y197/Spruitland/sportsgazette.jpg

Heroic battle ends undecided

Hypocria – Spruitland: 2 – 2

Valhalla Hall was filled to the rim for a highly anticipated match between the two Atlantian Oceanian nations, and if the souls of slain heroes were present to watch, they were likely just as excited as the crowd about the spectacle they received.

There had been much ado about this confrontation beforehand, and it is unlikely all scores are settled by now. The main focus was on two young strikers, Spruitland’s Dirk Jools and Hypocrian Danny West. There is clearly no love lost between the two, a sentiment that has become all too apparent in recent media reports.

The animosity between the two strikers has been brewing for an entire season in the Spruitland First Division, where they play for arch-rival teams, but in an international tournament where the stakes are higher, things like this tend to get magnified.

The trigger that set it off was Jools’ rather audacious prediction that he would score a hattrick against “over-rated” Hypocria. And off we went for a rather animated exchange of insults, with both players not too shy to take things to a personal level.

But in the end, both players had the opportunity to bring forth their most convincing argument on the football field. West was in the starting eleven for the first time, supposedly due to a minor injury for Shirko, but that was suspected to be just an excuse from the Hypocria coach, Starblaydi Guylain N’Dumbu-Nsungu, who’s experienced enough to know what a powerful motivator a bit of mudslinging can be.

Even before the game got underway the rivalry between the two strikers became apparent, as Jools stepped up to whisper something in the ear of Danny West, who was standing in the middle circle, ready for the kick-off. Whatever he said, it must not have been pretty, because West gave Jools a forceful shove – Jools shoved back instantly, and the referee cooled things down with a pair of yellow cards. The game was off to a good start.

It was a battle of the titans from then one, both young strikers playing the match of their lives, dragging their team mates along behind them to make them rise to unseen heights. The result was an unforgettable battle between two teams that gave it all, and then some. The crowd loved it, and rightly so, for they barely had time to breath between cheering for yet another scoring opportunity.

A surprising few of those chances were for players other than Jools or West, as their team mates sensed that this was their night. Only on chances too good to pass up did the others even try to shoot at goal. That doesn’t mean they didn’t have a big impact on the match though.

Both Balt Luyckx and Samson Trouwel played an outstanding game, dominating the wings, while the Hypocrians controlled the center midfield, with Burdali and Baxter. And both teams' goalkeepers played a match they’re not likely to forget any time soon, pulling saves out of a hat that nobody would have deemed humanly possible.

But with the amount of chances, it was only a matter of time before the ball hit the net, and it was the Spruitlanders who could cheer first. After a dangerous cross from Luyckx the Hypocrian defense failed to clear the ball sufficiently, and a smart chip-through from Juneau gave Jools a clear shot from close range which left Kindelan chanceless. 0-1, and Jools lifted one finger to the crowd to indicate this was only the first of many.

But the next one was for Danny West, who had remained stoical throughout the Spruitland celebrations. Thirty seconds after the re-start West’s long strike still hit the post, but three minutes later the ball finally found the goal when he slipped through the off-side trap on a gorgeous long pass and hit the ball off the bounce to lob it over a rushing out Simon Briers. 1-1, which West indicated by raising a finger of each hand.

The second half continued at the same incredible pace, and it was the goalkeepers who played a starring role for a long time. Jools was robbed of several certain goals by Kindelan’s quick reflexes, while Simon Briers’ arms seemed to have grown 10 inches, punching shots from West out of every corner of the goal.

Fifteen minutes before full time, when the pace finally dropped a little and the crowd was starting to give up hope of Jools scoring his hattrick, the Spruitland striker confirmed his status as a superstar by curling a magical free kick into the upper right corner, millimeters out of the Hypocrian goalie’s reach. 1-2, and Jools’ two fingers were aimed at Danny West, in a similar motion as one would use when flipping someone the bird.

Danny West’s reply came swiftly again, also from a free kick. With what seemed like incredible guts, West called his shot, indicating he would be putting the ball into the same corner of the goal Jools had scored in minutes earlier. But while Briers narrowed the distance and the wall got ready to jump, West tapped the ball aside for an ingenious one-two with Petras and rushed through the dumstruck defense, scoring a simple close range goal. Two all, and Jools was fuming.

But Jools didn’t waste too much time before he dug the ball out of the net and rushed to the center circle, leading his team mates for what was clearly meant to be a ten minute all out charge. The stadium’s collective heartbeat raised notably as Jools got three chances in quick succession.

A verocious long distance strike went narrowly wide, a short range bicycle kick was magically tipped over the crossbar by the goalkeeper, but on the resulting corner kick, Jools finally headed the ball into the net. At least, that’s what it looked like from one angle. From another angle, Jools could be seen tapping the ball into the goal with his hand.

Disaster seemed to strike for Hypocria as the referee indicated a goal and ran to the middle circle, and Dirk Jools made a salto and landed on one knee, raising three fingers triumphantly into the air. But the Hypocrians’ vehement protests, led by a frantically gesticulating Danny West, convinced the referee to consult his linesman.

The entire stadium held its breath in what may well have been the longest twenty seconds in football history. And then the referee slowly raised his arm to indicate a free kick – no goal!

As Spruitlanders and warmblooded human beings we may well understand Dirk Jools’ next action – possibly even, in a way, admire it. But as objective football reporters promoting fair play we can do no such thing. Even though Danny West’s stuck out tongue was highly misplaced under the circumstances, Jools’ right-left-right combination belonged in a boxing ring rather than on a football field, and his red card was well deserved.

At the same token, Danny West’s revenge elbow punch after he clambered to his feet was equally understandable, yet equally unacceptable. And that kick in the groin while Jools was already down was nothing short of barbarous. West too – naturally – received the red card. Both players were escorted off the field by coaches and team mates, who prevented them from continuing to jump at each other’s throats.

The incident can perhaps be seen as an anti-climax to an outstanding football match, but the crowd did not take it to heart. For Spruitlanders and Hypocrians, both in the stadium and watching television, the match was an unforgettable event, with the ending as a perfect cliffhanger to set up what will surely be a long running football rivalry.

And this rivalry may see its second chapter in a few days already, in the regional final. With today’s point, Spruitland qualifies directly for this regional final, while Hypocria will have to get past Kericia in a tough semi final first, but if they can match the intensity of today’s performance, they’ll be a tough team to beat.

If Hypocria makes it through, they’ll be playing a Spruitland team without Dirk Jools though, as the striker’s red card will see him sidelined for at least one game. Jools was unavailable for comment, but coach Cor Bensen agreed the card was justified.

“Yes, well, what can I say? Emotions ran high, but punching each other in the face is taking things just a tiny bit too far. To be honest, I could feel it coming. I was considering taking Dirk off the field, but he would never have come off. Not until he had scored a hattrick.”

“At least we go straight to the regional final, which gives us some extra time to prepare. Whether we’ll be facing Hypocria again or Kericia, it’ll be a tough match. We could’ve used Dirk in that match, but there’s nothing that can be done about that. There are some talented people on the bench still, though, so I’m not concerned.”

“If we do face Hypocria again, it might not be such a bad thing that Dirk’s suspended. Chances are he wouldn’t get through the first ten minutes without getting sent off.”

Hypocria – Spruitland: 2 – 2
0-1 Jools (27’)
1-1 West (30’)
1-2 Jools (76’)
2-2 West (80’)

Red cards: Jools (87’), West (87’)

Hypocria

12-06-2005, 12:58

Valhalla Thriller

Hypocria 2 – 2 Spruitland
West 30, 80

Fans from Spruitland and Hypocria descended on the Valhalla Hall stadium in Spraat in their thousands to watch this battle between the two Atlantian nations, and a battle is exactly what they got.

Tensions had been steadily growing for days between Hypocrian fan favourite Danny West and Spruitland’s star striker Dirk Jools. Both players ply their trade in Spruitland’s domestic league and their mutual dislike has been growing all season. That dislike would lead to a thriller match with an explosive finale.

For such a big match coach N’Dumbu-Nsungu largely kept faith with the side that beat Invincible Bob. The one chance from that side saw misfiring striker Andrei Shirko withdrawn through injury, although there are doubts as to whether he was injured at all, and replaced by West who had come off the bench to hit the winner in the last match.

The first incident took place before the coach had even taken his place in the dugout. Both Jools and West were booked for an altercation in the centre circle before the game had even kicked off. It was a sign of things to come.

From the first whistle it became obvious that West and Jools were both on a personal mission to outdo the other as they rained in shots from every conceivable angle. It was this contest that formed the centrepiece of a match that was a true spectacle of attacking football. It was a match that the fans loved and the coaches hated as The Wabbits and The Titans played out a thriller.

There were two truly outstanding players on show in West and Jools who, every time they received the ball, showed a distinct unwillingness to pass to a team mate, instead preferring to keep the goalkeepers busy with a truly awesome display of shooting. That is not to say that they were the only good performers, far from it in fact. In the centre of midfielder Marcus Baxter had an outstanding match, showing any watching Sukatra Tigers’ fans the calibre of the player their club had just purchased, and Bora Burdali displayed his brilliant best. For Spruitland, wingers Luyckx and Trouwel gave The Titan’s defence a torrid time. And the keepers, well they made saves that they had no right to make.

The match started at 100mph and continued in the same vein for the entire first half. One thing was clear to the thousands of fans in the stadium and the untold millions of television viewers, this wasn’t going to finish 0 – 0.

Sure enough, on 27 minutes, the deadlock was broken. The ever dangerous Luyckx whipped in a cross, Nalepka mistimed his clearance, hitting the ball straight to Juneau. The midfielder chipped the ball forward to Jools and the striker controlled instantly before firing past Kindelan. Just in case there was any doubt about the score the striker raised his finger to the Hypocrian fans who replied with a polite inquiry as to who ate all the pies.

The goal clearly struck a nerve with Danny West as, a mere 30 seconds later, he drilled a shot from fully 30 yards that cannoned back off the post. He would not be denied for long though as he latched on to a magnificent Baxter through ball and clipped the ball over the advancing Briers, the first goal the Spruitland keeper had conceded in the tournament. The Baxter/West combination was fast becoming the side’s most potent weapon. Just three minutes had elapsed between the two goals.

Chances for both sides came and want before the half time whistle blew to give both sets of players a well earned breather.

The second half started at the same outrageous pace of the first and Kindelan was forced into some magnificent saves, all from Jools. At the other end West was left scratching his head, wondering just how he hadn’t scored again as Briers made save after save. On the bench the coaches were being put through hell. Hypocria’a Starblaydi coach was weaving his arms around so much it was feared he might takeoff while his opposite number, Cor Bensen, was seen taking sneaky slugs from a hip flask to calm his nerves.

The stadium clock showed 75 minutes when Nalepka clattered into Jools just outside the penalty area. The Spruitland superstar dusted himself down, stepped up and curled a majestic freekick into the top corner, leaving Kindelan with no chance. Half the stadium erupted in cheers, the other half in boos and more chants about pies. Jools raised two fingers at West and the young Hypocrian had to be held back by his captain. He wouldn’t have to wait too long to get his own back.

Four minutes later and The Titans had a carbon copy of the scenario that led to Jool’s second goal, a freekick just outside the Spruitland box. It was Baxter that placed the ball with purpose but after a quick conversation with West he stepped back in favour of his younger colleague. The observant fans watching may have noticed a West deep in conversation with team mate Petras as the referee placed the Spruitland wall 10 yards back, what they were discussing soon became apparent.

West stepped up to the dead ball and gestured at the corner, clearly he was going to repeat Jool’s goal exactly. Briers made slight adjustments to his and his wall’s position to compensate. West ran up, but didn’t go for goal, instead he squared it for Petras who returned the pass for West who ran through a statuesque defence and side footed past Briers. It was a truly audacious piece of play and how the fans loved him for it, from now on Danny West could do no wrong in their eyes.

But there were still 10 minutes left and Jools now wanted his hat trick more than ever. He had three chances in quick succession, a long ranged effort whistled past the past, an acrobatic bicycle kick was saved brilliantly and an effort from the resultant corner. An effort that found the back of the net, but he had used he hand everyone had seen it, except the referee. It was 3 – 2 to The Wabbits, or was it?

The referee consulted his assistant, the stadium held it’s collective breath. The referee gestured for a goal kick, no goal! West punched the air, N’Dumbu-Nsungu wilted in his seat in pure relief and Bensen turned away in disgust.

What followed was unacceptable yet entirely predictable as the pre-match tensions finally split over. West stuck his tongue out at Jools and the Spruitland star saw red. He knocked West to the ground with a quick boxing combo but West picked himself up and felled his rival with a vicious elbow. At this point team mates intervened to drag the combatants away but a flailing boot from West my have inadvertently doomed any chance Jools had of fathering children. The referee had no choice but to send both players off. It was a bad end to a terrific contest. But it was the end as the final whistle blew soon after.

After the match N’Dumbu-Nsungu faced the media,

“The game was just as tight as I expected it to be. I’m disappointed that we didn’t get the win that may have taken us to the top of the group but the draw was certainly a fair result. We now have a tough match against Kericia, a team we perhaps underestimated before. Rest assured we won’t underestimate them again.”

On the red card incident he added,

“Part of me knew something like that may happen and I considered taking West off. But he’s a player who wins matches and with a hat trick up for grabs he never would have forgiven me. We’ve lost him for the semi final now but we have the players to cover in attack.”

Hypocria

1. Kindelan
2. Golla
3. Poskas (replaced by 11. Whitmore, 72)
4. Baxter
5. Nalepka
6. Blake (c)
7. Petras
10. Liberda (replaced by 16. Varas, 79)
18. Burdali
19. Harris
20. West (sent off, 87)

In the other game Kericia took second place in the group with a 3 – 0 win over (the less than) Invincible Bob.

Matchday 3:

Hypocria 2 - Spruitland 2
Invincible BoB 0 - Kericia 3

The results see Spruitland finish top and secure a place in the regional final where they will play the winner of the Hypocria/Kericia semi final. Invincible Bob are on the next flight home.

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Spruitland 7 2 1 0 6:2 4
----------------------------------------
2. Kericia 6 2 0 1 4:1 3
3. Hypocria 4 1 1 1 4:4 0
-----------------------------------------
4. Invincible BoB 0 0 0 3 1:8 -7

Vtorbetin

12-06-2005, 14:46

Worzel Partridge, bringing you more news and scores from the Baptism Of Fire Cup.

If Vtorbetin hadn't quite sealed their passage to the next round after their third match, yesterday's result sealed it for them. They beat Kassyyk 2-1 in a close match that saw Vtorbetin go behind after just four minutes. However goals from Kmatz and Ka put them in control of the match. With this win, they go top of the group and are guaranteed a top two finish in the group.

However, with the Caprine States beating the Pandas, and holding a game in hand, it is likely that Vtorbetin will finish in second and have to go into the regional semi-final. I've got Tony Brasket, coach of the team, here with me now. Could this second place be a blessing in disguise?

"Well, it'll almost undoubtedly give us the opportunity to settle the score with the Pandas, so if you look at it like that then it certainly is a good thing. However, there's always the chance that we will go out, and I personally want the team to finish in any position lower than second, so winning the group would obviously help there. In the end, it's out of our hands now, so we just have to sit back, take a rest and prepare mentally for the play-off."

Now, as well as yesterday's match against Kassyyk, we also witnessed one of the games of the tournament, between Hypocria and Spruitland. The animosity Vtorbetites feel for Spruitland is well documented, and naturally the country was supporting Hypocria. The match ended 2-2 after goals from West and Jools the strikers from both sides. Tony, why do you think it is that Vtorbetites feel so strongly against Spruitland?

"To put it bluntly, they're lucky sons of bitches - "

I don't think you're allowed to say that.

"Sorry. Every competiton they've gone into they've done well in - it's like they've got the success of a veteran, and they've only been on the scene five minutes. I think the people are just getting tired of them doing well and then talking about it as if a leading authority. I think the World Cup will be an interesting experience for them personally. They surely can't be lucky in that too, especially with a ranking that'll be around the nineties. If they are, I think people would suspect something was up - there's just no way someone can be that lucky."

We'll have to stop now, Tony. I know we could go on for ages like this, but we've only got half an hour. So, our next edition will be the day after tomorrow. We'll see you then, when we'll be broadcasting live from the stadium. Goodbye!

Kericia

12-06-2005, 22:02

Kericia Blanks Invincible BoB Despite Pregame Brawl

KNS
Jun 12 05

The action began before the Invincible BoB-Kericia match, when teammates Shawn Bullard and Paul Palucci got into a fight in the pregame practice. The two rivals in the Kericia Soccer League got into it after the two were very physical in the practice. Both Bullard and Palucci were immediately excused from the arena and are now off the team according to coach Ken Peterson.

"That kind of $#!& is unacceptable, and will not be tolerated by any means. We're here to represent are country, not act like idiots."

Palucci, the former starter, will be replaced by Danny Hammer. With the loss of Bullard on defense, midfielder Jeffrey Bryce will now also be a reserve defenseman.

The temperature at the start of the game exceeded 90 degrees, much hotter than the previous games played. Most of the players were fine, considering the island nation of Kericia regulary experiences much hotter temperatures. However, starter Josh Schooley went scoreless and did not play in the second half after passing out from heat exhaustion. He was replaced by backup Chris Krueger, who scored Kericia's first goal 6 minutes into the second half. Mathew Behrendt then scored off of a Justin Alric pass, and Behrendt tallied another goal unassisted. Keeper Byron McMichel garnered his second shutout in the tournament.

With the victory, Kericia jumped up to second place, ahead of Hypocria who tied Spruitland 2-2. The Hypocrian squad will face Kericia in the highly anticipated semifinal, in which the winner will face division winner Spruitland.

Fmjphoenix

12-06-2005, 23:10

Vilitan Region

Matchday 5:
Caprine States 0 - Buben 0
Prolaterian Pandas 1 - Kassyyk 1

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Vtorbetin 8 2 2 0 5:2 3
-------------------------------------------
2. Caprine States 8 2 2 0 3:1 2
3. Prolaterian Pandas 5 1 2 1 4:4 0
--------------------------------------------
4. Kassyyk 2 0 2 2 2:4 -2
5. Buben 2 0 2 2 0:3 -3

Congratulations to Vtorbetin on winning the region and going straight into the regional finals. Here are the matches for tommorow

Fmjphoenix Semi-Final: Kerecia vs Hypocria - Slope Stadium, Phonecia
Vilita Semi-Final: Caprine States vs Prolaterian Pandas - Tivali Ring Stadium, Alikki Corra

Fmjphoenix

13-06-2005, 23:06

Fmjphoenix Region

Hypocria 2 - Kericia 0

Regional Finals: Spruitland vs Hypocria - Slope Stadium, Phonecia

Congratulations to Hypocria for advancing to the regional finals. Good luck to both teams.

Hypocria

14-06-2005, 12:10

Titans Set For Spruitland Showdown

Hypocria 2 – 0 Kericia
Baxter 54
Burdali 78

On the opening matchday The Titans underestimated Kericia and were deservedly beaten because of it. That result ensured that Kericia would be taken very seriously should the sides meet again. And in the Fmjphoenix region semi final the sides did meet again. This time Hypocria did take their opponents seriously and produced their best defensive display of the tournament to secure their place in the last four.

Coach N’Dumbu-Nsungu was forced into one chance, with striker Danny West suspended following his red card against Spruitland, and brought back Andrei Shirko into to the starting eleven.

The first half was a nervous affair with both sides unwilling to commit too many men forward.

Hypocria’s best chance came on 10 minutes when Burdali broke forward and played a ball into the box which Shirko headed narrowly wide. Burdali himself had a crack from 20 yards shortly after but he too failed to trouble the keeper.

At the other end the Kericia frontmen were having no luck against the well marshaled Hypocria defense and were restricted to shots from distance, shots which proved no trouble for the impressive Kindelan.

The best chance of the half came just before the halftime whistle. Liberda was fouled some 25 yards from the Kericia goal, Marcus Baxter stepped up and hammered a shot which cannoned back of the crossbar and was cleared by the Kericia defense.

The halftime whistle blew, 0 – 0.

The second half was much more open than the first had been. Mere seconds into the half Liberda was released by Baxter but was denied by the Kericia keeper, diving bravely at his feet. Similarly, at the other end, Kindelan was forced into a good reflex save following a Kericia break away.

The Hypocrian fans were growing increasingly nervous, they needed a goal to settle them down. That goal came 9 minutes into the half, Poskas whipped in a corner which Shirko challenged for, a defender got his head to it but could only find Baxter lurking on the edge of the box. The midfielder rifled a shot through the crowd of players in front of him and into the back of the net, via a slight deflection which wrong footed the goalkeeper. It wasn’t a pretty goal but he didn’t care.

Both goalkeepers were quickly into action as the two sides attacked again and again, Kericia looking for a way back into the match and The Titans looking for that killer second goal.

A goal did come on 78 minutes but, unfortunately for Kericia, it was the Hypocria’s second. Petras swung in a corner, which was missed by everybody, except Burdali who managed to scramble it in at the far post. Again it was not a pretty goal but they all count.

After that it was case of shutting up shop for The Titans as Sinclair came on for Burdali and he and Baxter dominated the midfield. The few times Kericia did get past them they found a defense in formidable form and a goalkeeper determined to keep his first clean sheet of the tournament. He wouldn’t be disappointed. The final whistle blew and The Titans were in the regional final.

After the match the coach had this to say,

“We had been beaten by Kericia once and were determined not to let it happen again. I’m disappointed we didn’t create too many chances from open play and are goals were very scrappy but we are in the regional final and that’s all that counts. It’s Spruitland again for us, we’ve already shown we can match them now we have to show we can beat them.”

Goalkeeper Kindelan added,

“I’m so pleased to have my first clean sheet in international football. It was particularly nice to get it in this stadium. I played here for my club in a Takil Cup match and conceded 5 goals so it’s great to exorcise those demons and hopefully it's the first of many.”

Hypocria

1. Kindelan
2. Golla
3. Poskas
4. Baxter
5. Nalepka
6. Blake (c)
7. Petras (replaced by 17. Costanzo, 83)
9. Shirko
10. Liberda
18. Burdali (replaced by 15. Sinclair, 80)
19. Harris

Fmjphoenix Region

Hypocria 2 - Kericia 0

The result books Hypocria a place in the regional final against fellow Atlantian nation Spruitland. The first match between the sides was an exciting and fiery 2 – 2 draw. One thing is certain, the next match won’t be a draw, there will be a winner. The question is who? Stay tuned to find out.

Fmjphoenix

14-06-2005, 17:35

Vilitan Region

Caprine States 2 - Prolaterian Pandas 1

Regional Final: Vtorbetin vs Caprine States - Tivali Ring Stadium, Alikki Corra

Congratulations to Caprine States. They will move on to face Vtorbetin in the regional finals.

Vtorbetin

14-06-2005, 19:54

You’re joining me, Worzel Partridge, live from Vilita for the Baptism Of Fire Cup Show, where one sensational result has completely changed the face of the Vilitan Group.

In our last show, Tony Brasket and I were discussing Vtorbetin’s impending clash with the Prolaterian Pandas in regional semi-finals. At that stage, this is what the group table looked like:

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Vtorbetin 8 2 2 0 5:2 3
-------------------------------------------
2. Caprine States 7 2 1 0 3:1 2
3. Prolaterian Pandas 4 1 1 1 3:3 0
-------------------------------------------
4. Kassyyk 1 0 1 2 1:3 -2
5. Buben 1 0 1 2 0:3 -3

With all the other teams holding a game in hand against Vtorbetin, it looked as if the Caprine States team may just pip us to the post and steal the top spot, relegating us to the regional play-off. All they had to do was beat Buben, a team who had not won a game at that stage, and who had only
picked up a single point. It seemed like a simple task, and one that the Caprine States could easily accomplish.

However, the Buben team suddenly exploded into action last night, and it was with a gargantuan effort from their side that the Caprine States failed to make their form pay off, and the match ended goalless. This, coupled with the Pandas 1-1 draw with Kassyyk, gave us a final table that looks like
this:

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Vtorbetin 8 2 2 0 5:2 3
-------------------------------------------
2. Caprine States 8 2 2 0 3:1 2
3. Prolaterian Pandas 5 1 2 1 4:4 0
--------------------------------------------
4. Kassyyk 2 0 2 2 2:4 -2
5. Buben 2 0 2 2 0:3 -3

And so it is that, by the skin of their teeth and on goal difference, Vtorbetin have secured the top spot and made it through to the regional final. The play-off is currently taking place between the Caprine States and the Prolaterian Pandas this evening. I’ve got Tony Brasket with me again. Tony, first off, what a sensational performance from Buben.

“It was terrific to watch. How a team like Buben can hold off a team like the Caprine States is beyond me. They must have been playing the game of their lives out there. The match meant nothing for them, and it shows character that they went out there and played as if it was a cup final. Amazing – absolutely amazing.”

What does this result now mean for the Vtorbetin lads?

“Well naturally we were all getting geared up to play today. We all thought we were destined for the play-off, and it came as a shock to us when we heard the result come through. We’re going to have had a two-day rest before the final, whilst the winner of the play-off will have had no rest, so I think we’re going to be at a significant advantage there – they must be running on empty by now.”

We’re getting word from the Tivali Ring that we’ve had a goal. The Prolaterian Pandas have scored, severely against the run of play. It’s one-nil to the Pandas against the Caprine States, but there’s a long way to go yet, and the Caprine States can easily pull it back. Tony, Caprine States press has said that the winner of this tournament will be of, shall we say…a lesser quality than previous winners. Do you agree with that?

“Not at all. I think their main evidence was that a normal BoF will have sixteen or so teams in it, and that because there are only nine in this one, the winner will have had less competition. To that I say ‘on the contrary’. A lot of those sixteen teams have absolutely no chance of winning that. There’s probably normally only around two or three teams that have a chance of taking the title. Here, we’re down to the last six, and five of those can realistically say they have a chance to win it. This is probably the most competitive BoF to date, and I think for the fans it’s going to be an amazing last couple of days. There’s no sure winner, and I think the bookies are going to be kept very busy over the next few days.”

Be honest now, Tony – can Vtorbetin lift this cup at the end of it all?

“Without a doubt, we can do it. We’re in the regional final, so that’s got to say something. On our day, we can beat anyone in this competition, and anybody that says otherwise is a little too sure of themselves. Nothing can be a given at this stage, as we’ll probably see over the next two days.”

Tell us Tony, what do you think will happen in the BoF from here on?

“I think that the Caprine States will win the Vilitan play-off, and Hypocria will win the Fmjphoenix play-off. I then think we can beat the States and , unfortunately, Spruitland will beat Hypocria. If that’s the case, we’re going to have a real final on our hands.”

Spruitland against Vtorbetin – the best final in years?

“You can bet your bottom dollar on that. If that’s the final, it’s going to be broadcast all over the world. Everybody’s going to be talking about it. Obviously, we hope Hypocria can win the Fmjphoenix final, but either way we’ll be in for a good game.”

Vtorbetin and Hypocria relations have flourished during this tournament, haven’t they?

“I think they have, yes. We’ve supported them all the way, and we hope they’ve been doing the same. A Hypocrian team has purchased our striker Kmatz, and he’ll do an excellent job there. I think we’re both united in our dislike for Spruitland, and I believe that this is a bond that will never be broken. If we don’t win the thing, I hope for damn sure that it’s them that do.”

Hang on, there’s been a goal in the Tivali Ring. Is it an equaliser…yes it is! It’s Pandas one, Caprine States one with about half an hour left to play. We’ll be back with that if there’s any more action. Now, Tony, there’ve been rumours of a Hypocria-Vtorbetin charity match once all this is over. Are they true?

“Perhaps. Negotiations are still underway, and we’ll just have to wait and see. It’s looking good though.”

Excellent. If you’ve just joined us, then you’ll be pleased to hear that Vtorbetin, and not Caprine States, as readily accepted yesterday, are through to the regional final, after a stunning display from Buben last night that resulted in a 0-0 draw with the group favourites. We’re here live in Vilita to pick up on some of the aftermath of the group stage.

So, with the group stage over, the tournament is down to just six teams. Spruitland, Hypocria, Kericia, Caprine States, Prolaterian Pandas and, of course, Vtorbetin are now going head-to-head in a series of knockout matches. The winners-to-be now must not falter, as even one mistake could
be fatal. We’re going to go live to the team’s hotel now, where Dermuid Hughes is waiting to speak with us:

“Maserrat, Lethislavania, South Osettia, The Liamist States, Bettia. Who will be the next team to make it onto this prestigious list of former-Baptism of Fire winners? I’m here live outside the Vtorbetin’s team’s hotel, where I’m going to gauge some of the public opinion. Excuse me, sir, you’re live on VTV, can you tell us your name please?”

“Er…Liam Kroll.”

“And which team are you here to support?”

“The Prolaterian Pandas.”

“Do you think you’re team can win it, and if not, who do you think will?”

“I don’t think we will…probably Spruitland…yeah, that’s who I think will.”

“Okay, thank you sir. Now, from what I’m hearing around here, there’s a lot of support for all five major contenders. There’s really no separating them. It’s
going to be very, very close. Back to you, Worzel.”

Thank you, Dermuid. Let’s go back to the Tivali Ring, where the Caprine States have taken the lead for the first time in this match. It’s 2-1 to the Caprine States, and it looks like we’re going to have the regional final we all expected. Okay, now we’re going to look at some of the bookmakers odds from around the country. First we’re going to start with Vtorbetin’s biggest bookies, VBET. Let’s just take a look:

Spruitland: 3-1
Vtorbetin: 4-1
Caprine States: 6-1
Hypocria: 6-1
Prolaterian Pandas: 7-1
Kericia: 25-1

Well, it looks like Spruitland are narrow favourites, although it’s very close amongst the top five. Caprine States and Hypocria have been given the same odds, and Kericia rank outsiders according to VBET. Let’s take a look at BetSport now:

Spruitland: 3-1
Vtorbetin: 3-1
Hypocria: 5-1
Caprine States: 6-1
Prolaterian Pandas: 8-1
Kericia: 30-1

Spruitland and Vtorbetin are joint favourites here, with Kericia even more of an outsider according to BetSport. Hypocria are deemed third most likely at the expense of the Caprine States. Okay, now let’s finally take a look at the
internet betting sites:

Vtorbetin: 3-1
Spruitland: 4-1
Caprine States: 5-1
Prolaterian Pandas: 7-1
Hypocria: 9-1
Kericia: 60-1

Well, it’s just a little bit different here. Vtorbetin are clear favourites, with Hypocria way back in fifth place. Kericians don’t seem to be getting much hope from these odds; they’re down at 60-1.

The final whistles have been blown for tonight, and there’re no surprises tonight. The Caprine States beat the Prolaterian Pandas 2-1 whilst Hypocria beat Kericia 2-0 in Fmjphoenix. That leaves us with two regional finals – Vtorbetin versus Caprine States and Spruitland versus Hypocria. The winners will progress to the final.

Well, whichever odds you look at, it’s quite clear that it’s going to be very close. Nobody can call it, and it looks like it’s going to be a very interesting next couple of days here in Vilita and over in Fmjphoenix. Whatever happens, we’ll be following it all right here, on the Baptism Of Fire Cup Show. We’ll see you next time. Goodbye.

Spruitland

14-06-2005, 21:09

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y197/Spruitland/sportsgazette.jpg

Wabbits will face Hypocria again

With the regional semi final complete, Spruitland’s opponent for the regional final is now known, and it is not a surprise. After being the only team that managed to score and force a draw against Spruitland in the group stage, Hypocria was a clear favorite over Kericia, despite their opening match defeat.

The Titans got their revenge for that opening match slip-up with a solid 2-0 victory, setting themselves up for a re-match of the memorable 2-2 Hypocria vs. Spruitland game. And this time, the stakes will be higher.

“It’s a logical result,” coach Cor Bensen says. “The two strongest teams of this region – possibly even of the tournament – will play each other again. Can’t say I mind. Sure, Kericia would perhaps have been an easier opponent, but the boys were rooting for the Hypocrians. We don’t like to leave loose ends.”

“It’s gonna be a tough battle though, and I wouldn’t want to predict a score. I feel we’re the slightly stronger team, but Hypocria has grown in the tournament, so it’s gonna be close. “

An advantage for the Wabbits may be that they had an extra day of rest, but in competitions like this that could just as easily be a disadvantage, as Hypocria is in a winning mood. Spruitland will also have to get by without star striker Dirk Jools, serving a one match suspension for his red card in the previous game against Hypocria, but Cor Bensen refuses to acknowledge this as a disadvantage.

“Nobody’s irreplaceable,” Bensen says. “If there’s one thing we don’t have a shortage of in Spruitland, it’s good forwards. Ben Thorsen is extremely motivated, he’ll do just fine. In any case, if we should lose, we will not be using Jools’ absence as an excuse.”

Dirk Jools, the Wabbits’ topscorer with 3 goals, will follow the game from the dug-out rather than from the stands or VIP lounge. Officially, this is to provide moral support for his teammates, but the rumor has it that coach Bensen wants to keep a close eye on him, to prevent him from getting into more trouble during a game in which emotions are bound to run high.

Jools seems only slightly cooled down since the incident with Danny West, and reportedly appealed to Baptism of Fire officials to delay his suspension until after the regional final, but this was refused.

“Damn BoF bastards,” a white-knuckled Jools says. “Anything else, and it takes weeks for the paperwork to get an official stamp of incompetence and be forwarded to the right dimwit in charge, but get a red card and they’re on it like sharks. And in the meantime, the real culprit gets to play tonight. Fair play my ass.”

Vtorbetin

14-06-2005, 21:28

Wabbits Wong

Oh dear, another disagreement between Cor Bensen and Tony Brasket. On the eve of the regional finals, Bensen, in a press conference, stated that Hypocria were arguably the best two teams in the tournament. Here's what Brasket had to say.

"We'll see."

Unusually concise for Brasket, but never mind.

Hypocria

14-06-2005, 23:37

With the Baptism of Fire Regional Finals approaching kick off we can grab a quick word with national coach Guylain N’Dumbu-Nsungu.

“Guylain, this is your first tournament in charge, how do you feel it has gone so far?”

“Well the Kericia defeat was a shock to the system but I think we are a stronger side because of it. It was not a result that worried me too much as I knew I had good players in my squad and that result was not an accurate showing of their ability. I think that has been proven since.”

“How do you see the Regional Finals going?”

“The sides are so evenly matched it is almost impossible to predict who will be in the final.”

“Will you though?”

“Oh ok. Obviously I have to say Hypocria. I think I’d also like to see Vtorbetin in the final as well. They’ve probably been the best side in the tournament so they deserve a place in the final.”

“There has been talk of a charity match between the two sides, would you like to see that happen?”

“I would love to see that happen, absolutely. I understand that the respective FAs are still in talks but it’s very much something I would like to be involved in. Vtorbetin have won a lot of fans in Hypocria so it should be a great occasion. Hopefully we will meet a bit sooner than that though.”

“It’s Spruitland first though, are you looking forward to another Atlantian derby?”

“There is not much that can compete with an Atlantian derby, I think you saw evidence of that in the group game. It should be a cracking match and yes, I’m looking forward to it immensely.”

“The Vtorbetin media said that Hypocria and Vtorbetin are united in their dislike of Spruitland, is that true?”

“There is a definite rivalry between Hypocria and Spruitland, anyone who saw the group game can tell you that. I have the deepest respect for what Cor Bensen and his side have achieved but I’m sure he will agree that there is nothing quite as satisfying as beating your neighbours.”

“Can Hypocria win this tournament?”

“We have looked much stronger in our last two games and I feel we are good enough to lift the trophy. Although I’m sure that my three opposite numbers will be thinking much the same thing.”

“Finally Guylain how have you been enjoying managing Hypocria?”

“I love international football and when the FA offered me the job I was ecstatic. I have thoroughly enjoyed my role here and am looking forward to the World Cup qualifiers. I know I’m getting on a bit now but I hope to be doing this job for a good few years yet. I've coached at five World Cup finals and I like to think I still have one more left in me”

“Thank you for finding the time to talk to us Guylain and good luck in the match. So it’s Hypocria versus Spruitland for a place in the final, who will have regional bragging rights? Stay tuned to find out.”

Caprine States

15-06-2005, 00:39

Buh! Buh-duh-duh-buh-buh! (Buh! Buh-buh-duh-duh-buh!) Buh-buh-buh! Buh-buh-buh!

"Howdy-hi-ho and welcome to the Center of Sports. Alongside Scott Stuart, I'm Pelty van Scott. And now, without further ado, let's get on to coverage of the Baptism of Fire. This tournament started with the Confederacy of Caprine States existing in an invisible role, overshadowed by teams like Spruitland, Hypocria, and Vtorbetin. It may go too far to say that we were counted out before the tournament had even begun, but we weren't given enough credit, having materialized on the scene only in the nick of time to enter the tournament that serves as a prelude to the World Cup."

"It's easy," started Pelty's colleague Mr. Stuart, "To lose track of a nation in the absolute deluge that we are flooded with every day. Ask the average citizen of any country, and they will be able to name only a few nations outside of their region. Especially for a young country like our own, it is easy to be forgotten. But with the coming of this Baptism of Fire and the synthesis of the national team came the desire to be heard. Men and women, young and old, from the thickest of streets in Maviyol and Lokumcular to the most isolated farms in La Mancha, all wanted the world to recognize the Caprine States."

And then Pelty picked it up. "An astonishing 20,000 Caprine citizens made the trip to Vilita to follow a national squad that they had never before seen in action. Fans of Maviyolspor sat next to fans of Denizspor who in turn sat next to fans of Rearward FC, and its meaning clearly goes beyond pure sport. This mass exodus has already started to unify the Confederacy beyond the wildest dreams of the dread revolutionaries that liberated our Caprine States. If one were to watch a match on TV, they would not see a huge swath of fans divided by regional or team colors; they would see a mass of red and white, chanting with one voice."

"The Caprine States are no longer invisible to at least the countries that have taken part in the Baptism of Fire. We have taken a huge step towards real nationhood and we are now a force to be reckoned with. It was silently feared that factionalism would be the downfall of this team, but we have dribbled, passed, and shot around it. Here is a run-up of events that have led to where we stand today:

"Vtorbetin versus Caprine States. Both teams played with an intensity that foreshadowed the teams' entrance into the regional finals. Less than ten minutes into the game, this Francesco Kmatx shot and the rebound, both of which could very well have made the game 1-0, were saved by the ever-spry Eski. At halftime the score remained knotted at zero, but this nearly changed with a long cross from Aloysius Tompkinson that was redirected towards the goal by a sliding Can Yildirim, but Vtorbetine keeper Von Bietsch managed to stretch and deflect it to the post. The match ended in a scoreless tie, leaving both teams desperately wanting a rematch."

"In the next game, played against Kassyyk after a day off for the goats, the Confederacy got off to a quick start, pressuring Kassyyk and eventually breaking through for a goal on this amazing header by Bülent Özgür in the twenty-third minute. Things turned a bit more sour, however, when midfielder Ricardo Sánchez-Rodriguez was ejected from the game after laying out a Kassyyk player with a head-to-head collision. The Caprine States held on to the game and won 1-0."

"Playing the Proletarian Pandas on Matchday 4 in what was a preview of the regional semifinals, the two veteran captains from each side--Eusebio Banks and Johnny Martin--battled after a small argument before the match which ended with Martin refusing to shake Banks's hand. Martin's displeasure with the Panda side was punctuated by a brilliant breakaway goal he scored in the second minute, immediately putting the Pandas down. The Pandas struggled to create chances in the first half, but in the second half, Banks managed to flash some of his old-time brilliance by curving a shot from well outside the box around keeper Eski to tie the score in the sixty-sixth minute. Martin was not slow to respond, however, taking up a forward position immediately after the Panda goal and scoring on a tie-up in front of the goal only four minutes later. Unable to overcome the second goal, the Pandas fell as the Caprine fans cheered nonstop."

"In the final match of the group stage--and the most surprising--Caprine States was halted by Buben in another nil-nil draw. Buben, the whipping boys of the Vilitan Region along with Kassyyk, were widely expected to fold by at least two goals, giving the Caprine States an automatic berth into the finals. Instead, Buben fought with great tenacity and completely stymied the Caprine offense, which, playing without Can Yildirim or Kankaldiran, only took three shots on goal. The Caprine defense's continued stellar performance was negated by the lack of goals, and the Confederacy was forced into a playoff with the Proletarian Pandas to determine who would face Vtorbetin in the regional finals."

"The Goats had eagerly looked forward to avoiding the playoff, taking a break, and watching an interesting rematch between Vtorbetin and Proletarian Pandas. Instead, the team was forced to take the field once more against a team that most citizens of the Confederacy sneered at because of the allegations of foul play put against them. This feeling was amplified when a questionable foul was called in the penalty area against veteran fullback Michael Harrison in stoppage time in the first half. Young backup keeper Eduardo Clemente dived right as the ball streaked into the goal on the opposite side, giving the Pandas a one-nil lead. The Caprine side continued to pressure the Panda defense as they had in the first half, and eventually, in the fifty-ninth minute, the previously-injured Kankaldiran connected with the net from the very spot where the Panda penalty was scored. With the crowd rejuvenated, it was only a matter of time before Caprine States put the nail in the coffin with a beautiful goal from Johnny Martin--who had been hawkishly guarded all match to prevent anymore goals from him. With this win, the Confederacy has advanced to the regional finals, a rematch against Vtorbetin.

"With us via a live feed from Vilita is the always-lovely Caprine Assistant Coach Juliet Bonaventure. Thank you for coming to talk with us, Ms. Bonaventure."

"It's good to be on the air, Pelty." She grinned. What kind of silly man was named Pelty?

"So tell us now--how is the squad feeling after this victory?"

"Everyone in the lockerroom was smiling. And it's not because I came to visit them, I can assure you. We won the match and we were able to do it while resting three players that definitely needed it--Eski, Bülent Özgür, and Aloysius Tompkinson. We took a gamble, but it definitely paid off. We actually wanted to sit Martin too, but he resisted it. We were worried that something might break out with him as the focus, and it did, but it turned out to just be the final goal."

"Do you think that your players have the stamina to win it at this point?"

"Of course I do. When required, all of these players are capable of playing seven straight games without skipping a beat. Only a few have so far played in all five, and I am very confident in our ability to remain in tip-top shape.

"Do you see yourself as being at a disadvantage now that Vtorbetin has skipped two consecutive match days?"

"No. Actually we see ourselves as having an advantage; our team has been playing the past four straight match days and we have hit a groove now that we were able to beat the Pandas. Vtorbetin may have lost their momentum now, and their not playing for such a long time is quite risky. I think this match would actually be better for them if they had played against the Pandas instead of ourselves."

"Speaking specifically of Vtorbetin, how does your team feel about facing off against them again?"

"We're definitely all very excited. Neither team felt like they deserved to walk away from the first match with just one point, and now it is certain that one team will emerge victorious. I think that both squads are really looking forward to this one. And I know that if we win this match, it will feel like we've won the whole cup. We had faced Vtorbetin before and we feel like we know them--suddenly playing against Hypocria or Spruitland would just feel like a strange, independent match from this cup. We'd know the stakes involved, of course, but this match definitely means a lot to the squad."

"Are you making any sort of special preparations for facing off against Vtorbetin?"

"Of course we are. But we're not going to tell you what they are." She smiled wryly. "We're certainly going to work on getting at least one goal this match. Or maybe two or three. However many it takes. But beyond that, I think we should keep quiet lest our opponents hear."

"What about potential preparations against Hypocria or Spruitland?"

"Obviously we've though about it, Coach Akburun and I, and we talked about it a little bit, but there is no way we're going to introduce speculation on Hypocria's or Spruitland's strategy until the time comes when it's necessary. We have to take each match as it comes and keep the Goats focused. I must say, though, the comment by Spruitland's coach about Spruitland and Hypocria being possibly the best... well, we can't keep that away from them. You can bet that there will be some feeling in any final match that includes us."

"Finally, what do you predict the final match score to be?"

"Mmmm... I think I'll go out on a limb here and be overconfident. I know that the Vtorbetines don't like it, so hopefully it will get under their skin." She winked. "Caprine States 3, Hypocria 1. That will be the scoreline."

"Very bold, Ms. Bonaventure! And thank you for coming on the program. Good luck in your next match."

"Thank you, Pelty. It was my pleasure."

Fmjphoenix

15-06-2005, 03:47

Fmjphoenix Region

Hypocria 0 - Spruitland 0 AET: 1:1 APK: 3:5
Spruitland advances on penelties

Vilitan Region

Vtorbetin 0 - Caprine States 1

BoF Finals: Spruitland vs Caprine States, Tivali Ring Stadium, Alikki Corra

BoF Third Place Play-off: Hypocria vs Vtorbetin, Slope Stadium, Phonecia

Fmjphoenix

15-06-2005, 05:52

Shouldn't the third place playoff be:

Hypocria vs Vtorbetin

noted and fixed.

Vtorbetin

15-06-2005, 17:42

OOC: Well, seeing as I've RPed the most in this tournament by a long way, I think that's rubbish, but never mind - teams that didn't win have gone far before, haven't they Fmj? ;)

Third Place Play-Off - The Real Final

Well that's what it should have been anyway. Vtorbetin versus Hypocria will be a nice match between two sides whose national ties have grown stronger and stronger as this tournament has gone on.

Oh, I really can't be bothered tonight; just let Hypocria win it - I like them. Invitations for a special charity mini-tournament (scorinated by South Osettia) will be posted tonight. Hope you can all attend.

Spruitland

15-06-2005, 18:12

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y197/Spruitland/sportsgazette.jpg

Can’t get much closer than that

Hypocria – Spruitland: 0 – 0, A.E.T. 1 – 1 (3 – 5 penalties)

In another sold out stadium came the re-match of the tournament, the match to settle the score between the Atlantian Oceanian neighbours who had been going at each other’s throats – literally at times – since the start of the tournament. This was more than just a football match, this was a matter of honor.

Incidently, almost as an afterthought, the result would also decide which of the teams would move on to the Final of the BoF, but for the Hypocrians and Spruitlanders in the stadium, this could just as well have been the Final. What mattered most was just one thing: winning against their rivals.

But that was easier said than done, and despite the fact that this match would not end without a winner being declared, the actual result was another stalemate. Yes, the Wabbits won it on penalties to move on to the Final, so the Spruitland supporters had more to cheer about than the Hypocrians, but in their hearts – and not even that deep down – they knew it could have gone either way.

“Penalty kicks is a silly way to decide a game, really,” a Spruitland supporter said after the match, his voice hoarse from cheering. “I mean, sure, it’s fine for some games where crap all goes on, I say skip overtime in that case and get it over with. But for games like tonight, they should just keep going til there’s a winner or one of the teams gives up from exhaustion.”

A game where “crap all went on” this certainly was not. Despite the 0-0 score after 90 minutes, both teams had plenty of scoring opportunities, but again the goalies played a starring role. While not being tested quite as often as in their first encounter, Briers and Kindelan had to come up big on several occasions.

Danny West played another outstanding match for Hypocria, with Jan Wolters claiming a starring role in Spruitland’s attack. Ben Thorsen did a fine job of replacing Dirk Jools alongside Wolters, and although he lacks some of Jools’ technical ability, his pace worked to his advantage more than once.

But nothing either side tried was enough to put the ball into the net, so after 90 minutes the teams switched sides to face off for what would be a nerve-racking thirty minutes of extra time.

With fatigue starting to affect both teams’ midfield and defense the pace dropped considerably and both teams kept their ranks thoroughly closed for most of the fist period in extra time. The spectators made no effort to spare their vocal chords and cheered their teams forward, but it looked like the match would be going to penalties.

In the second period the Spruitland midfield found their second wind, and with a few minor chances in quick succession they managed to put the Hypocrians under a bit of pressure. But when Kindelan punched a shot from Wolters out of his goal, the Hypocrian defense was alert and wasted no time setting up a splitting counter-attack.

The 3 on 2 numerical advantage was exploited perfectly and left Danny West with the space to choose where to put his shot. West chose the top right corner, out of reach of Simon Briers. 1-0, and the Hypocrian crowd went wild. Looked like penalties would not be necessary.

The Wabbits had less than ten minutes to set things straight, and they dug deep into their reserves for a little extra energy. But the Hypocrians pulled back, defending their area with man and might in an effort to hang on to their lead. Spruitland’s frustration grew as they increased the pressure but their attack was unable to find sufficient space for a clear shot, and supporters from both sides were biting their fingernails.

With less than two minutes on the clock, persistence paid off. Trouwel sent a desperate high ball into an overpopulated penalty area and the ball was insufficiently cleared. After a desperate scramble and a blocked shot from Gelmer, Ben Thorsen managed to get his foot against the ball and buried it into the goal. A scrappy goal, but the score was even again, and the match went to penalties after all.

The faith of both teams was now in the hands of their goalkeepers, Simon Briers and Ricardo Kindelan, who pumped themselves up for a penalty kick series that would see a few dozen spectators pass out from the tension.

Kindelan took his place in goal first, and the Hypocrian goalie sent a shock through the crowd as he nearly stopped Ben Thorsen’s penalty kick. His fingers touched the ball but didn’t deflect it enough to keep it out of the goal. 1-0 Spruitland, but too close for comfort.

Briers chose the wrong side to dive to on Danny West’s penalty kick, Kindelan was equally chanceless on left back Asa Noegel’s well placed shot, and when Andrei Shirko buried the ball relentlessly into the roof of the goal for 2-2, it seemed obvious that this would be a matter of who would miss first.

Waldo Gelmer didn’t miss, putting the Spruitlanders 3-2 in front, but neither did Marcus Baxter, putting a rocket ball through the center of the goal with guts, bringing Hypocria alongside again. And the tension kept rising.

Balt Luyckx made the heart of every Spruitlader in the stadium skip a beat when his left footer struck the inside of the post, but the ball went in, putting the pressure on Hypocria once more. And then Bora Burdali made the mistake the whole stadium had been either fearing or hoping for. In an attempt to copy Baxter’s effort, he put the ball hard through the middle, but Briers waited just long enough this time and stopped the ball with his legs. His pumping fist towards the bench accompanied the exploding tension of the Spruitland crowd.

But it wasn’t over yet – Jan Wolters still had to score to put Spruitland in the Final of the Baptism of Fire. Thousands of Hypocrians tried to will the ball over the crossbar, but Wolters kept his cool. With a little hesitation before the final step of his run-up he sent Kindelan the wrong way and put the ball into the left corner. 5-3, and there was no more need for the last Hypocrian penalty kick – Jan Wolters was buried under a mountain of Spruitland players.

“This was the kind of game where neither team deserved to lose,” Spruitland coach Cor Bensen said after the match. “Like I said before, with a different group draw this could well have been the final. It sure felt like one, anyway. A great rivalry has developed between Hypocria and Spruitland, and what we’re concerned, this match didn’t settle a thing. We’ll be looking for a clear ninety minute victory in our next match against them, wherever that may be.”

“I didn’t really want to take one,” Jan Wolters said about his deciding penalty kick. “But the coach insisted, and I’m a forward after all, so I had to take my responsibility. I volunteered to take the last one, kinda hoping it would be decided by then and I wouldn’t have to take it. Sure didn’t work out that way. Damn glad I didn’t miss.”

The Spruitland Wabbits now travel to Vilita for the Final of the BoF, while Hypocria are spared of transportation troubles and get to stay in Phonecia for the Third Place play-off – a comfort they surely would gladly have done without. In the Vilitan regional final, Caprine States managed to beat Vtorbetin in a tight 0-1 match, which isn’t exactly a shock result, but still a minor surprise.

“Not a big surprise though,” Bensen shrugged. “That was bound to be a tight match, just like the Spruitland vs. Hypocria match. They were tied on points in the group, had tied against each other in the opening match – so if Vtorbetin were the slight favorites, it wasn’t by much.”

“In any case, we’re playing the goats in the Final. So be it. Should be an interesting match, to say the least. It’s gonna be close. I think we can take them, but with the physical effort we had to put into today’s game and the journey to Vilita, I’d say Caprine has the clear advantage. We’ll give it all we’ve got, though.”

Hypocria - Spruitland: 0 - 0, A.E.T. 1 - 1 (3 - 5 pen.)
1-0 West (111')
1-1 Thorsen (118')

Vilita

15-06-2005, 18:32

Well, seeing as I've RPed the most in this tournament by a long way, I think that's rubbish, but never mind - teams that didn't win have gone far before, haven't they Fmj? ;)

RP later.

If you think that this is all about RP then you've got a lot of similar complaints left ahead of you.

Anyway, there will be, due to the odd format, a special 5th place match as well, to be held at the Lirai Asku Castle in Yeaddin, Vilita between the Proletarian Pandas and Kericia. Feel Free to RP before the match which will take place tonight.

Vtorbetin

15-06-2005, 18:41

If you think that this is all about RP then you've got a lot of similar complaints left ahead of you.

I thought this one was all about RP. Is it not?

Fmjphoenix

15-06-2005, 20:12

I thought this one was all about RP. Is it not?

It is primarily based off of RP, but there is more to it just than that. From your RPs and Caprine States RPs, your ranks were very similar. Therefore it was going to be some type of close match anyway. But do not just think that RPs rule the whole thing. I RPed quite much in my BoF, but I lost in the first round of the knockouts. I RP a lot in all the cups, but I dont have much to show for them anyway. Plus the big old thinig you have to remember is that there is a lot of luck involved. Upsets DO happen, dont forget that.

Kericia

15-06-2005, 20:34

Kericia Prepares for Fifth-Place Match

KNS
Jun 15 05

Following Kericia's crushing 2-0 defeat at the hands of Hypocria, the Kericians are relegated to the fifth-place match against the Proletarian Pandas. The two teams are considered fairly equal, as Kericia and Proletarian Pandas finished second and third in their divisions, respectively. The game will be played in Vilita. Coach Ken Peterson on the game:

"I don't believe the fact that we're playing somewhere we never played will be a factor. We played in front of a lot of opposing fans in Fmjphoenix. If we could get some freakin' offense, we win this game and finish fifth. If not, it's a huge disappointment, because I think we could have played better versus Hypocria. We beat them once, and we still get killed by them. I hope these guys know what an oppurtunity they lost in Fmjphoenix, and hopefully they'll play with some intensity tonight."

Hypocria

15-06-2005, 20:48

Titans Pay The Penalty

Hypocria 1 – 1 Spruitland (aet) (3 – 5 on penalties)
West 111

It was a regional final to savour, two Atlantian nations who had battled each other to a stand still, both on and off the pitch, competing to decide who would reach the final of the Baptism of Fire. The Slope Stadium in Phonecia, scene of The Titan’s win over Kericia, was packed to the rafters with fans from both sides, the stands were a sea of Hypocrian blue and Spruitland green.

Coach N’Dungu-Nsungu had Danny West to call on again after he missed the Kericia game through suspension and sure enough he went straight back into the starting eleven, Liberda dropping to the bench to accommodate him.

It had become apparent in the group game that little could separate the two sides and this match proved to be just as tight as the first had been, more so in fact. After 90 minutes the score stood at 0 – 0 but the match had not been without scoring chances. Much like the group game it was the goalkeepers that proved to be the heroes as both Kindelan and Briers pulled off a number of good saves.

Once again it was Danny West who proved to be Hypocria’s biggest goal threat but was denied by his Sporting Mayo colleague at every opportunity. The Titan’s best chance fell to Andrei Shirko whose shot beat Briers but came back off the post, summing up the Hypocrium City striker’s luck in front of goal in the tournament.

Spruitland were missing the suspended Dirk Jools but Ben Thorsen proved a more than able replacement with his quick thinking and even quicker running. He was a constant thorn in the side of the Titan’s rearguard. As was big Jan Wolters, who seemed to win everything in the air. But neither they, nor their teammates could find a way past Kindelan.

The full time whistle blew and the score was 0 – 0. Another 30 minutes would be played to try and separate the two sides.

It was clear in the first half of extra time that both sets of players were nervous, nobody wanted to be the one to make a mistake. Consequently the goal scoring chances dried up completely. The fans kept singing throughout,

Titans! Titans! Titans!

Or, when ever they caught a glimpse of Dirk Jools,

Who ate all the pies?
Who ate all the pies?
You fat b*****d.
You fat b*****d.
You ate all the pies!

We are such an imaginative and poetic people.

In the second half of extra time it was The Wabbits who made the first attacking move as the ball was passed to Wolters, who turned a fired a shot towards Kindelan. The Pylos Reavers keeper met the shot with both fists a punched it away. The ball feel to Blake who, thinking quickly, played a long pass forward. Suddenly there were three Hypocrian attackers facing just two Spruitland defenders.

It was Shirko who picked the ball up and played it through to West who went one on one with Briers. Time seemed to slow, the fans looked on in silence and the two benches froze.

West took the ball into the box and hit a rising shot into the top right corner and the Hypocrian fans seemed to rock the stadium with their celebrations. The Titan’s bench rose as one, jumping, shouting, punching the air. Only N’Dungu-Nsungu remained calm, he knew there will still plenty of time left for a Spruitland reply. Sadly he was right.

There were less than two minutes left when Spruitland grabbed a cruel, albeit deserved, equalizer. Trouwel hit a hopeful ball into the box and Nalepka could only half clear. The ball fell to Gelmer but Blake threw himself in the way of the goal bound effort which deflected off the boot of Thorsen and into the back of the net. A scrappy goal but perhaps the most important he had ever scored. The whistle blew and still the teams were level. The match would be decided on penalties.

Ben Thorsen stepped up for Spruitland and a collective gasp ran around the stadium as Kindelan got fingertips to the effort but couldn’t keep it out.

1 – 0

Danny West took the first Hypocrian penalty and the young striker coolly sent Briers the wrong way.

1 – 1

Asa Noegal tried his luck next and left Kindelan no chance with his well placed effort.

2 - 1

Andrei Shirko put all his tournament frustration behind his penalty which rocketed into the roof of the net.

2 – 2

Waldo Gelmer kept his composure to put The Wabbits in front again.

3 – 2

Marcus Baxter drilled his effort right down the middle to level the shootout.

3 – 3

Balt Luyckx put his shot wide of Kindelan and it just nestled inside the post, the look on his face suggestion he hadn’t meant to put it quite so wide.

4 – 3

Then it happened. Bora Burdali, who had played so brilliantly in the centre of midfield yet again, fired his effort down the middle but Briers stopped with his legs. The Spruitland fans cheered, the keeper clenched his fist in celebration and Burdali sank to his knees.

4 – 3

Jan Wolters stepped up, the stadium held its breath, and sent Kindelan the wrong way to send Spruitland to their first ever final.

5 – 3

Coach N’Dungu-Nsungu, after a quick handshake with his opposite number, went straight to the distraught Burdali and led him off the pitch. The coach returned for a quick word with reporters,

“I simply couldn’t ask for anything more from my players, they have been magnificent and I am proud to be their coach. The semi-final is perhaps the worst game to lose as you are so close to appearing in a final and losing like that makes it that much worse. We wish Spruitland luck in the final. If they win at least we can then see we were beaten by the champions.”

Hypocria

1. Kindelan
2. Golla
3. Poskas
4. Baxter
5. Nalepka
6. Blake (c)
7. Petras (replaced by 17. Costanzo, 113)
9. Shirko
18. Burdali
19. Harris (replaced by 10. Liberda, 75)
20. West

In the Vilitan Regional final the Caprine States’ excellent tournament continued with 1 – 0 win over highly fancied Vtorbetin. The Caprine States will now face Spruitland in the final in Vilita while Hypocria and Vtorbetin will play off for the dubious privilege of finishing third.

Caprine States

15-06-2005, 23:48

From the newspaper Hürriyet:

Tenacity Sends Caprine States to Finals

Vtorbetin 0

Caprine States 1
Yildirim 84'

"Neither team will be quite as fresh as we'd like, but I don't think anyone will be able to tell until we get around the 75 minute mark. Players from both teams will start to look... different by then. Every sprint, every leap, will look strained. The truth is that most of us will probably start feeling that by halftime, but it's at 75 minutes that we'll really feel it and we'll start showing it, and that's when the biggest breaks can happen for both sides. --Caprine Captain Johnny Martin before the Vilita Regional Final.

Martin was eerily right. Despite the fact that Vtorbetin had had a couple of match days off before this final, their players showed fatigue around the 75th minute. To be fair, the Confederacy's players seemed a bit more fatigued, but though they showed it, they also showed a lot of flair and poise in the last fifteen minutes. But let us not skip over 75 minutes of action.

The match started with one sudden and amazing chance in the first minute. Vtorbetin was chosen to kick off the ball, and as they did, they didn't notice that all six forwards and midfielders were standing just behind the line with the express intention of running forward very quickly. Play began and suddenly the Vtorbetines found six Goats in their backfield. The risky move seemed to pay off when midfielder Ricardo Sánchez-Rodriguez intercepted a pass from Vtorbetine counterpart Arnoldo Fignar. The ball went forward to Aloysius Tompkinson, who teased Vtorbetin's defense with his fancy footwork before finding a window to shoot and taking it. Everyone in the stadium could practically hear the ball screaming as it streaked through the air, and everyone may very well have heard the slap that was made as it collided with keeper Von Bietsch's hands and face. The rebound was swiftly cleared by veteran Graig Mesias and the Goats had to scramble to regroup and prevent a vicious counterattack from making the score 1-0 the other way.

Neither team was able to form a real, consistent advantage over the other during the first half, with both feinting, parrying, and dancing around each other. The level of play was certainly at least as fine as it was in the earlier match between these two sides, but an additional element seemed to exist which made it yet more exciting to watch. Both sides, seeming to realize the magnitude of this game quite well, exhibited a sort of grace not seen in the previous match. Little things like Françoise Latour's stunning hop-skip-and-jump that redirected a high and long Vtorbetine pass to Johnny Martin almost ten feet before it could reach its intended target and a perfectly-timed bicycle kick by Jere Ka that was only just deflected over the crossbar by a leaping Eski. These displays of footballing virtuosity combined with a sell-out crowd in the massive Tivali Ring Stadium turned this match into a deafening chorus of chants, shouts, and bahs.

Said fullback Michael Harrison at halftime, "No one usually cheers for the fullbacks, even when we make conspicuous plays. But just now, when I made a tackle against Jere Ka, I heard this sudden burst of cheers from behind me, and something that distinctly sounded like, 'Go Mikey, you bitch!' That was definitely the most exciting moment of my footballing career."

The score, just as in the previous struggle between these teams, was knotted at nothing at halftime. Just as before, both teams came out determined to change that. When play resumed, the balance between the two sides did as well, and neither one was able to score nor prevent the other team from getting splendid chances.

Things did seem to get a little sloppy in the 63rd minute when veteran Caprine defender Hiram Hansen, famous for irritating forwards to the point of making them make mistakes, made one himself. In position to strip the ball, Hansen made the attempt to do so, but he missed by just enough to catch Francesco Kmatx's ankle in a very awkward-looking tackle that drew a rare yellow card for Hansen. As Hansen got up and offered Kmatx a hand, the usually composed young forward struck out with the bottom of his right foot, slamming it into the Dane's shin in frustration. Hansen hopped away on one foot, muttering curses under his breath. Kmatx received a yellow card for his efforts and Coach Mustafa Akburun was permitted to substitute Kemal Denktas for the now-incapacitated Hansen.

The teams played each other cautiously for a few minutes after that incident, but once it was clear that that was the extent of it, the more aggressive play resumed. Both sides continued manufacturing opportunities like they were finely-made watches, but yet still neither side could score.

The fatigue began to become visible, as Martin predicted, around the 75th minute. The clearest example came when Erkan Bözböyle ran up and slid to put the ball that Vtorbetin was driving forward out of bounds. Though clearly unhurt, it took Bözböyle a long time to get up, and when he did, he had to turn and push himself up to his feet. This coincided with a shift by both teams to a slightly slower game--something that was more noticeable with the Caprine side that began relying more on precision passing. Despite the change, both teams knew that they had a good amount of fuel left in their tanks--these austerity measures were simply necessary if each side wanted a chance to compete in extra time.

Only a few minutes into this more conservative game, however, the feeling started running through the Caprine lines that this wouldn't work. A charge by the Rumbling Angora Wall of Bözböyle and Bülent Özgür was the first attempt to abandon this new plan, but they were stymied when Vtorbetin's defense took the ball from them and simply refused to give it back. The charge took the last bit out of the constantly-running Bözböyle, and he was immediately subbed-out, suggesting an end to any offensive drives. Johnny Martin refused to have it so, however. As he later said, "Half our starting defense was gone and the other half was tired. I feared for what might happen if we went into extra time and the rested Vtorbetin squad made some good attacks. We weren't desperate, but we knew that our chances were better now than they ever would be."

Martin made his move when the ball suddenly found itself at his feet. With pulmonary force that would ordinarily leave people blinking in awe, he bahed. His troops suddenly awakened by a feral instinct, they made for the goal to which Martin pointed. Confused as to what just happened, the Vtorbetines set a defense. Vtorbetin's side of the field suddenly became extremely crowded. Somehow, through all the mass of bodies, the ball found itself twice just outside the penalty area with a Goat in control of it. Both times, however, Vtorbetine defenders swarmed and prevented first Johnny Martin, then Françoise Latour from being able to take a shot. Both times they were lucky just to get the ball back to Bülent Özgür, who happily served as the rearguard for this extremely risky attack. The ball eventually found itself with Kankaldiran, who was backed into a corner by two Vtorbetine defenders. Unable to dribble his way out of the mess, Kankaldiran launched a desperate pass into the penalty zone. The pass went too close to the goal for Vtorbetine keeper Bietsch not to punch it away, and punch he did. Unfortunately for Vtorbetin, the punch was not perfectly timed. The football, with a great deal of spin from being hit by the side of Bietsch's first, skidded over to the sprinting Sánchez-Rodriguez, who crossed perfectly to a waiting Can Yildirim. Vtorbetin's Isreal Dooney sprinted to clear the ball off the line, but he was a half-second too late, and Caprine States went up 1-0.

Vtorbetin refused to give up the match, but they were unable to penetrate for more than one shot on goal, especially when Akburun used his last substitution to insert fullback Michelle Gerard in place of Yildirim. Vtorbetin came close to scoring when, in an attack similar to Caprine States's scoring drive, Francesco Kmatx saw Eski well off the line and tried to make a cross to Jere Ka. The cross was stopped by Eski himself, however, who was so far off the line that he was able to anticipate and jump on the cross. Vtorbetin was unable to generate a better opportunity against a Caprine side whose specialty is defense, and when the referee blew the final whistle, the score remained 1-0.

Celebration broke out immediately, and the players started jumping on each other like little kids. Before joining the festivities on the pitch, Johnny Martin went to seek out Keneth Fahner, the Vtorbetine Captain. He put his arm around the fellow and talked with him for a little while before patting him on the back and promptly removing the foam coverings on his horns. Handing them to Fahner for the second time in two matches, he then ran back to join his team. The tradition in the Caprine Football League is that the Captain may only give his foam coverings to an opposing Captain once in the course of a season. Martin's gift of two coverings to the same fellow is an indication of his respect for the Vtorbetin side, and indeed we almost didn't make it, but tenacity pulled us through.

The next match will also be in the Tivali Ring Stadium--Caprine States's third straight in the massive Vilitan stage. The Goats will face off against the Wabbits of Spruitland.

GOALS:
Vtorbetin: None
Caprine States: Yildirim 84'

BOOKINGS:
Kmatx (Vtorbetin)
Hansen (Caprine States)

TEAM:

4-3-3 Formation (later 5-3-2)

1. Eski
2. Harrison
17. Bözböyle (sub. 18. Nilsen, 81 minutes)
5. Özgür
33. Hansen (sub. 99. Denktas, 64 minutes)
7. Sánchez-Rodriguez
13. Martin
16. Latour
22. Yildirim (sub. 12. Gerard, 86 minutes)
10. Tompkinson
66. Kankaldiran

Unused Substitutes:

20. Clemente
15. Schwartz
0. Bokolursa
23. Gómez
11. Wilkins

Vilita

16-06-2005, 13:11

5th Placed Matchup

Kericia [3] Proletarian Pandas [1]

Fmjphoenix

16-06-2005, 22:19

Third Place Play-Off

Vtorbetin [1] - Hypocria [1] AET: 1:2

Hypocria

17-06-2005, 11:52

Titans Finish Third

Hypocria 2 – 1 Vtorbetin (aet)
Liberda 38
Shirko 99

It was a pairing that many Hypocrians had wanted to see in the final but it wasn’t to be. Instead the first meeting between Hypocria and Vtorbetin, two countries whose national ties have been growing since the tournament began, was to decide who would finish third in the Baptism of Fire tournament.

Hypocria coach Guylain N’Dungu-Nsungu gave starts to a number of his squad players as he rested the likes of Burdali and West.

The opening goal came late in the first half. Marcus Baxter, Hypocria’s ever impressive playmaker, sprayed a long pass to the right hand side to Costanzo. The winger drove forward and played a low cross into the box. Shirko ran over the ball, fooling the defenders, and Liberda, following in, swept the ball home.

It was an even game between two well matched sides so it was no surprise when Vtorbetin found an equaliser just before the hour mark. Striker Jere Ka embarked on a mazy, jinking run into the box before sliding the ball across to his striker partner Kmatz who, unmarked at the far post, couldn’t miss.

The game was still tied after ninety minutes and, with a winner needed, extra was played. Nine minutes into the first period of extra time Hypocria hit the deciding goal. Baxter whipped in a corner which Nalepka headed goalwards. Vtorbetin’s giant keeper clawed it away but the ball fell loose into the penalty area and was drilled in by Andrei Shirko, finally ended his international goal drought.

Despite late chances for Vtorbetin the Titan’s defence held firm until the final whistle blew.

After the match the Hypocrian coach, as always, addressed reporters,

“Well obviously we wanted to be in the final so we’re all a bit disappointed. But we’ve managed to finish third and that should drag us up the world rankings a bit. I’d like to wish our opponents today success in the future. Vtorbetin are a great side who probably deserved to finish a lot higher. Now if you will excuse me gentlemen I’m going to buy Mr Brasket a drink.”

Hypocria

1. Kindelan
2. Golla
3. Poskas
4. Baxter
5. Nalepka (replaced by 12. Flynn, 105)
6. Blake (c)
8. Braganza (replaced by 15. Sinclair, 55)
9. Shirko
10. Liberda (replaced by 16. Varas, 79)
17. Costanzo
21. Johnson

Two teams remain as the tournament reaches its final stage. We wish both Spruitland and the Caprine States good luck but from Hypocria it’s goodbye.

Spruitland

18-06-2005, 01:42

Spruitland goalkeeper Simon Briers stifled a yawn as he took his place, second in line next to team captain Frederic Juneau. It was way too bloody early in the morning for this crap, no matter how honored he was supposed to feel. At least he wasn’t the only one who felt that way – judging by the looks on their faces, most of his team mates were just as bothered by having to get up at 10 am.

Coach Bensen was pacing the line nervously, straightening ties, flicking specks of dust off shoulders. When Dirk Jools rushed into the reception hall and took his place at the end of the line, Bensen winced.

“Dammit, Jools, it’s about time! And where’s your friggin’ tie? I told you to –“

“Coach, I haven’t worn a tie in my life, and I’m not about to start now. It emphasizes my adams apple too much, I don’t like it.”

“It’s not a fashion statement, for cryin’ out loud, it’s a matter of respect! This is our monarch, we need to –“

“Oh, relax coach. King Alfons and I go way back.”

Bensen opened his mouth to reply, but the main doors to the reception hall swinging open cut off his breath.

“His Majesty, King Alfons the First of Spruitland!” the usher called out, and Bensen quickly turned about and straightened his back.

The King strode into the reception hall and promptly knocked his miter off his head. Half the entourage rushed to pick it up, getting in each other’s way, but Olav Nett beat them all to it. He nervously placed it back on His Majesty’s head, failing to notice that he put it on backwards.

“And Spruitland Minister of Sports, Olav Nett!” the usher called out, not a trace of emotion in his voice.

King Alfons looked around, grinning sheepishly, and Cor Bensen quickly strode forward.

“Welcome, Your Highnessty… erm, Your Majesty. Welcome,” he mumbled, taking a deep bow. “May I introduce, the Spruitland Wabbits!”

He led King Alfons to the line of waiting players, who no longer showed any sign of sleepiness. Juneau, the first in line, held his breath as they approached, the Minister of Sports and the whole royal entourage staying a courteous step back.

“Frederic Juneau, the team captain,” Bensen said. “And solid midfielder of –“

“- of the Sativa Stoners, yes yes, I know,” His Majesty interrupted, a trace of annoyance in his voice, while he shook Juneau’s hand. “I’m a big Sativa supporter, so I know Mr. Juneau quite well. So, Frederic, when is Sativa finally gonna crack some eggs in the First Division?”

“Erm… I don’t know, Your Highness.” Juneau swallowed, then took a deep breath. “We try, but it’s not easy with less than half the budget of some of the other teams.”

“Right. That doesn’t seem quite fair, indeed. I’ll see if something can be done about that,” King Alfons smiled, moving on to the next in line.

“Simon Briers, our star goalkeeper,” Bensen smiled. The King gave Briers a concerned look.

“Briers, right. I heard you injured your back in training, how’s that coming along?”

“Just fine, Your Majesty, just fine. Some extra massage therapy took care of that perfectly.”

“Good. Then you’re not gonna let any more goals past you, I assume. Those last two games against Hypocria were awful!”

Briers gasped, but King Alfons moved right along.

“Waldo Gelmer,” Bensen said, his voice slightly waivering. “Our tricky attacking mid, who scored one of the penalt-“

“Gelmer, right! Aren’t you transferring to Starblaydia soon?”

“Erm… Phraen Palace, yes Your Highness.” Gelmer smiled nervously.

“Right, Phraen, couldn’t remember, but I knew it was some crap team. Carry on.”

And so His Majesty moved along the line, saying a few nice words to everyone, until he got to the end of the line.

“And finally, the star of our team, Dirk Jools,” Bensen said.

“Yes yes, we’ve met, how are you Dirk?” Alfons smiled, shaking Jools’ hand.

“Peachy, Alfons, yourself? And how’s the little Honorary Rabbit doing?”

“Oh, Sir Jools is doing great! He takes after you, not too shy to crap all over the palace. Quite a handful, I tell ya.” He leaned a bit closer to Jools. “By the way, what that Danny West kid did to you was just awful. If you want some of my associates to take care of the matter, just let me know.”

“Appreciate it, Alfons, but that won’t be necessary. I’ll meet him on the football field again soon enough.”

“Good, good. In the mean time, you better score at least twice in the final. He’s scored one more goal than you so far. Can’t let that happen, Dirk!”

With a little slap on Jools’ shoulder, His Majesty stepped back from the line and faced the Wabbits, lifting his chin in a way only a king can.

“Right then! So glad to have met all of you, but I must be off now. Time to explore some of the couleur locale before the big match. I hope you all do our nation proud tonight, but I’m sure you will. You’re just playing a bunch of goats, after all, so that shouldn’t be too much trouble. Do try to get it over with in 90 minutes, if you please. I have a plane to catch tonight. Cheerio now!”

And with that, King Alfons left the reception hall, knocking his miter off his head on the way out.

Vilita

18-06-2005, 02:25

Pre WC23 Baptism of Fire Cup :: Final

Caprine States [0]-[2] Spruitland

Thanks to all those that participated, and good luck in World Cup 23!

Spruitland

18-06-2005, 19:54

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y197/Spruitland/sportsgazette.jpg

ExtremelyHuge Trophy Case no longer empty

Caprine States – Spruitland: 0 – 2

With a 0-2 that suggested a much more one-sided match than was actually the case, the Spruitland Wabbits have won the pre-World Cup 23 Baptism of Fire. They thereby keep the trophy in the Atlantian Oceanian region, following in the footsteps of Bettia.

Despite coach Cor Bensen’s attempts to maintain an underdog position, Spruitland started the BoF final as slight favorites over Caprine States, and they did not disappoint. It was the goats who started the match most eagerly though, dominating the play in the first twenty minutes.

Simon Briers had to make his best saves in this early stage of the match, stretching on a shot from Tompkinson and getting down to the hooves of Kankaldiran who broke away on the right. A nasty contact on that last intervention saw backup goalie Johan Verbeek start his warm-up, but luckily Briers could continue.

The Wabbits managed to regain the balance by the end of the first half, and steadily started to tip the scale in their favor in the second, creating more and more chances. Goatee goalie Erdi tried hard to keep the nil, the most notable effort being a memorable save with his horns on a tricky shot from Waldo Gelmer.

But when Jan Wolters battled himself into the box with the ball on his feet and stayed upright just long enough to send the ball towards goal, the Caprine goalkeeper was chanceless. Less than a half hour to go, and Spruitland made a serious claim for the title.

The Caprines did their best to find their second wind, putting more intensity into their duels – which earned them a handful of yellow cards – and for a good ten minutes they managed to put the Spruitland defense under pressure. But a quick counter-attack, with Jan Wolters again playing a big part, settled the matter.

After a failed Caprine attack, Briers quickly kicked the ball forward as far as he could, and strong Jan Wolters used his full bodyweight to keep Bülent Özgür away from the ball. Wolters sent the lightweight Angora goat tumbling through the air just by standing his ground as he controlled the ball on his chest and sent a splitting pass towards Dirk Jools, who was rushing through acres of space.

The Caprine back line rushed to catch up, but Jools’ head start was just enough to stay out of their reach and circle around the rushing out goalie-goat. He put the ball into the net from a tight angle, putting Caprine States down for the count.

All Spruitland had to do for the remaining 15 minutes was stay focused, and they managed that without too much trouble. The expected final rush of the goats came, but the Wabbits’ defense held it together.

And so the Spruitland Wabbits ended the tournament with a solid though not particulary exciting performance in the Final, but when the referee blew the whistle, that didn’t matter much. Substitutes and training staff rushed the field for a twenty man pile-up, with a broadly grinning coach Cor Bensen on top.

“What a rush,” Bensen smiled at the post match press conference, the BoF Cup beside him on the table. “Not our best game of the tournament, but finals rarely are. Kudos to Caprine States though. For a bunch of goats, they play a pretty decent game of football.”

King Alfons I, who watched the final from the VIP box, took a plane back to Spruitland shortly after the match, but he declared he was “absolutely delighted” with the victory. He vigorously refused reporters suggestions to award coach Cor Bensen an Honorary Rabbit though.

“Not quite yet,” His Majesty said, smiling mischievously. “If I award him one now already, he’ll have nothing left to strive for. Don’t underestimate the power of motivation. When he wins World Cup 23, he’ll get his Honory Rabbit.”

Cor Bensen tried to stick to a more realistic point of view, claiming mere qualification for the World Cup would already be a splendid result, but Spruitland Minister of Sports Olav Nett was in full agreement with King Alfons.

“Cor is being too modest,” Nett said. “Winning the Baptism of Fire is splendid of course, and marvelous and what not, but it’s just the start. The trophy will look great in our ExtremelyHuge Trophy Case, but there’s still plenty of room in it. A World Cup trophy to put alongside the BoF Cup would be quite nice, and Cor Bensen is the perfect man for that job.”

Caprine States – Spruitland: 0 – 2
0-1 Wolters (62')
0-2 Jools (74')

NationStates Jolt Archive

Pre-WC23 Baptism of Fire Cup :: Rosters/RP/Scores thread