NationStates Jolt Archive

http://www.truenorthhockey.com/pics/tnhctsp.gif

Welcome everyone to Cherry Cup 13! Hosted in beautiful, arctic Hockey Canada, we promise to make this tournement the most entertaining and expensive Cherry Cup yet! You've seen it happen, and are asking- Will Robotopolis make the "threepeat?", will Starblaydia come back roaring to take their title back?, will the Ferrets continue their proud tradition of losses? We will find out as the tournement progresses.

Rankings:

1. Robotopolis
2. Starblaydia
3. Tanah Burung
4. KN
5. FLP
6. VAR
7. LE
8. Oliverry
9. Iansisle
10. HC
11. Chicanada
12. Euroslavia
13. Formal Dances
14. Vilita
15. Harlesburg
16. Kericia
17. Squornshelous
18. Lovisa
19. Tonissia
20. Druida
21. Corneliu
22. Fmjphoenix
23. Krytenia
24. The Gulf States
32. Vtorbetin
32. Spruitland
32. Blessed Restraint
32. Kassyyk
32. Rittia
32. Mercaenaria
32. Daistallia 2104
32. The Mushoom Kingship

Arenas:

http://www.centrebell.ca/_static/images/www/pages/apropos/CentreBell_ext2.jpg
Name: Dytsuk Centre
Capacity: 19,870
Built: 1998

http://www.london2012.org/NR/rdonlyres/16CCD11C-2700-4A5E-A1E9-6C9BD898C2A4/0/stadium_external.jpg
Name: RIM Park
Capacity: 23,000
Built: 2005

http://www.hacx.de/nhl/teams/images/arenas/sabres.jpg
Name: Ilustk Arena
Capacity: 16,034
Built: 1995

http://kola.netix.cz/2001_1/images/09-globen1.jpg
Name: World Park Arena
Capacity: 22,780
Built: 1999

http://www.maggiesale.ca/Toronto/Toronto%201/air%20canada%20centre%202.jpg
Name: Hockey Canada Pavillion (CHAMPIONSHIP ONLY)
Capacity: 25,000
Built: 2003

Groups

Revuocnav Division:
Squornshelous
Kalaallit Nunaat
Liverpool England
Tonissia
Very Angry Rabbits
Mercaenaria
Fmjphoenix
Formal Dances

Xafilah Division:
Robotopolis
Iansisle
Blessed Restraint
Daistallia 2104
The Mushroom Kingship
Hockey Canada
Fimble loving peoples
Lovisa

Kebewoys Division:
The Gulf States
Oliverry
Starblaydia
Corneliu
Rittia
Vtorbetin
Tanah Burung
Harlesburg

Insert Name Here Division:
Druida
Vilita
Spruitland
Chicanada
Kassyyk
Krytenia
Kericia
Euroslavia

HC: Some minor adjustments will be necessary.

1. You have Corneliu in the Ornorot Division, and in the Kebewoys Division
2. You have Vilita in the Ornorot Division, and in the Insert Name Here Division

Suggested revision (only a suggestion - resolve the problem any way you want to):

Otnorot Division: eliminate this division

Revuocnav Division:
Squornshelous
Kalaallit Nunaat
Liverpool England
Tonissia
Very Angry Rabbits
Mercaenaria
Fmjphoenix
Formal Dances

Xafilah Division:
Robotopolis
Iansisle
Blessed Restraint
Daistallia 2104
The Mushroom Kingship
Hockey Canada
Fimble loving peoples
Lovisa

Kebewoys Division:
The Gulf States
Oliverry
Starblaydia
Corneliu
Rittia
Vtorbetin
Tanah Burung
Harlesburg

Insert Name Here Division:
Druida
Vilita
Spruitland
Chicanada
Kassyyk
Krytenia
Kericia
Euroslavia

So...how many teams qualify out of each division?

So...how many teams qualify out of each division?Twelve.




;)

Kebewoys Division:
24. The Gulf States
8. Oliverry
2. Starblaydia
21. Corneliu
32. Rittia
32. Vtorbetin
3. Tanah Burung
15. Harlesburg

(HC, can you sim my team as Tampereen Ilves from SM-Liiga? I don't think it will interfere with the ranking system, and everyone can't be Colombus.)


Rittian National Hockey Team Roster, Cherry Cup XIII

(lines not yet determined, stats from Ozella Amatuer Hockey League)

Last Year's OAHL Champs: Tampereen Ilves


Goalies:

Javier Sanden (Ilves): 332 Saves, 88.5%
Christian Vogelsgang (HPK): 401 Saves, 85.9%

Forwards:

Kel Kranfeldt (Pelicans): C 46G, 33A (79 pts)
Cody Briski (Ilves): C 23G, 40A (63 pts)
Clint Crossan (Aces): RW 32G, 27A (59 pts)
Mathieu Larusseau (Aces): LW 30G, 24A (54 pts)
Nelson Wasilewski (Ilves): LW 29G, 25A (54 pts)
Theo Robicheaux (HPK): LW 24G, 26A (50pts)
John Lubinsky (Ilves): RW 20G, 24A (44pts)
Neil Coltrane (HPK): RW 18G, 25A (43pts)
Jimmy Kneld (Ice): C 20G, 19A (39pts)
Hugo van Antverp (Aces): C 30G, 4A (34pts)
Chas Mingus (Pelicans): LW 18G, 14A (32pts)
Ted Heyden (Aces): RW 14G, 17A (31pts)
Ken Throckmorton (Youth League): C 29G, 41A (70pts)

Defense (OAHL rules disallow scoring by defenders):

Cecil LeBarbera (Ilves)
Jean-Claude Larusseau (HPK)
Brett McFerron (Ice)
Charles Barrettek (Ilves)
Reggie Wasilewski (Aces)
Ty Green (Pelicans)
Rafael Gantz (Rogues)
Elmer Andreotti (Youth League)

Captains:

C Cody Briski
A Hugo van Antwerp
A Jean-Claude Larusseau

Coach:
Steve Manzanero (Ilves) 6 years OAHL coaching experience, 3 years Youth League coaching experience, 1 year OAHL Assistant

Coaching

Anticipated starters:
G Javier Sanden
LW Nelson Wasilewski
C Cody Briski
RW Clint Crossan
D Cecil LeBarbera
D Reggie Wasilewski

Anticipated Powerplay line:
G Javier Sanden
LW Nelson Wasilewski
C Kel Kranfeldt
RW John Lubinsky
D Jean-Claude Larusseau
D Brett McFerron

Anticipated PK line:
G Javier Sanden
LW Chas Mingus
RW Neil Coltrane
D Jean-Claude Larusseau
D Reggie Wasilewski

Notes:
The team has two sets of brothers (Wasilewski, Larusseau). The Youth League players will probably be held in reserve, although Coach Manzanero has mentioned the possibility of Ken Throckmorton playing as a winger due to his high scoring in the Youth League. Manzanero has also stated that the team may use a very conservative offense against most opponents in order to reduce breakaways. "Our goalies are good in OAHL play, but they're used to defending OAHL shooters. The OAHL is an amateur league, and it's got a very small talent base to draw from. We'll need to be very good on defense, or we'll get creamed by professional players using professional skills and tactics. Offensively, we'll need to work hard to control the puck and try to get a few guys in close. I don't think we're going to be getting any blue line slapshot goals against the caliber of goalies in the Cup. I don't think we're nearly fast enough on the ice to get a decent breakaway, either, but some of our better shooters, like Crossan and Robicheaux, would be able to really threaten even a talented keeper. Robicheaux is the faster of the pair, in fact, an all-around sharper skater, but he's had knee problems lately and might not get a whole lot of playing time. I'm worried about our ability to generate offense, because international rules let defenders score. OAHL defenders simply do not practice shooting. However, because they focus so much on defense, they play a little sharper in front of their own goal than you'd expect from small-league players like ours. The team's practicing full time until the Cup, to get some synergy going and get the guys used to each other. A lot of our team is drawn from the Aces and Ilves, and those teams have the biggest OAHL rivalry. They are used to playing viciously against each other, like in Game 5 of the Finals when there were a total of 82 penalty minutes served. It just takes some time for these guys to stop trying to kill each other. However, we're all really excited to have the opportunity to be the first team to represent Rittia against other countries. Our overall objective for this year's Cup is to create a lot of interest in the sport among the Rittian people and maybe to get a few goals. Realistically, I just don't think we're going to get into the knockout rounds this year. We're in a division with the #2 and 3 teams in the Cherry Cup. I don't want to be a killjoy here, but my best estimate for our record in the division will be 3-5. Even that is a very optimistic estimate. I think it is reasonable, however, that we'll win a game. All the games will be on TV, and I want to encourage every Rittian to watch," said Manzanero.

So...how many teams qualify out of each division?

The top 4

Coaches:
Coach: Jean-Francois Larache
Goalie Coach: Guillaume Letroue
Forward coach: Brian McGill

Goalies:
1: Damien Lavoie(Letremblay Bleu-Blanc-Rouge):23 years-old
5: Nicola Missioliza(Lamontagne Pingouins):33 years-old

Defensemen:
1st pair
44: Louis Tremblay(Lamontagne Pingouins):27 years-old
22: Steve Dubé(Perpignant Français):25 years-old
2nd pair
58: Oliver Jones(Coastal Oceans):31 years-old
39: Lil'Jon Hat(Coastal Oceans):32 years-old
3rd pair
98: Ricky Youth(Oliverrian Junior Hockey League): 16 years-old
0: Julie Smith(Oliverrian Female Hockey League): 18 years-old
Forwards:
1st line
2: Guy-Jacques François(Marshalliston Capitals):34 years-old
4: Denys de Ladurantaye(Marshalliston Capitals):29 years-old
36: Dick Tremblay(Perpignant Francais):23 years-old
2nd Line
8: Johnathan Bailey(Sunberry Coastals):35 years-old
12: Frank Thompson(Perpignant Français):29 years-old
10: Michael Nurenburg(East Rubbermade DJ's):32 years-old
3rd line
9: Felipe Alanzano(Marshallsiton Capitals):24 years-old
14: Joel Hatcher(Sunberry Borders):35 years-old
98: Adrien Froussinot(Perpignant Francais): 30 years-old
4th line
18: Pat Andretti(Letremblay Bleu-Blanc-Rouge):35 years-old
23: Jersey MacMaster(Coastal Oceans):35 years-old
16: John Motorola(Costal Oceans):31 years-old

The players are gonna use the same uniforms as last year tournament:
http://membres.lycos.fr/lhjmq2004/Image1.png
http://membres.lycos.fr/lhjmq2004/Image2.png

Lucky 14!!!!!

Goalkeepers:
#88 Breggan Voltlander - Starter
#00 Frando Kluckie - Substitute
#12 Devall Uryla - Reserve

Defenders:
#43 Howard Kaylay - 1st line
#98 Royal Denyals - 1st line
#65 Ramon Feylia - 2nd line
#11 Kell Doran - 2nd line
#49 Charels McLauren - 3rd line
#05 Jeremy Owens - 3rd line

Right Wingers:
#24 Daryl Brown - 1st line
#03 Forlien Clowlen - 2nd line
#28 Xavior Vega - 3rd line
#67 Betred Salim - 4th line

Left Wingers:
#22 Paul Farlan - 1st line
#87 Ariel Boyten - 2nd line
#42 Stephen Davis - 3rd line
#14 Bobby Kalunia - 4th line

Centers:
#30 Keith Roneck - 1st line(C)
#40 Gerald Howard - 2nd line
#95 Larry Ferando - 3rd line
#35 Branden Lowell - 4th line

Home jerseys - Green with blue trim on the sides, numbers written in white outlined blue
Away jerseys - Blue with green trim on the sides, numbers written in white outlined green

“Bloody hell, it’s fockin’ freezin’ out here!”

“What’d you expect, dipshit?”

“You call me that again and you’ll be kissin’ the tarmac, you miserable –“

Olav Nett, Spruitland’s Minister of Sports, sighed deeply as he exited the plane along with the nation’s ice hockey team, hastily formed approximately 24 hours before the journey to Hockey Canada. Where the hell did they dig up this bunch?

“You fellers drop the attitude or no booze tonight!”

That was Coach, the coach. Olav assumed he had a real name, but nobody except himself seemed to know it.

“Aww, that’s a low blow, Coach,” someone said, sounding admirably amiable.

A good half of the team had known Coach for a while, being regulars in “Team Spirit”, Coach’s sports bar in downtown Albertine. The other half was a random assortment of thugs and deadbeats. Some guys from a boxing club, a few kids that always hung out at the Ice Disco, some random fellows with suspected Scandinavian origin, and a construction worker that was picked purely because his name was Zamboni. As far as Olav knew, only two had ever worn ice skates before.

“Somewhat nippy, indeed. Thank heavens Mother had the foresight to pack an extra anorak.”

“You don’t say.”

That was them. Louis Dardenne and Marino Poirot, professional figure skaters until a few years ago, when King Alfons banned figure skating in Spruitland on a whim. Olav doubted their skating ability would be able to make up for their lack of physical mass, though.

The team almost made it down the ramp unscathed. Then one of the “Team Spirit” regulars let his shoulder come into well-timed, ‘accidental’ contact with one of the figure skaters’ back, and the laws of gravity and dominoes came into effect. Olav was glad he had chosen to exit the plane last.

With a lot of cursing, shoving and pinching, the Spruitland Ice Bunnies picked themselves up from the tarmac. Coach Coach tried to bring some order into them again.

“Alright, ladies, enough already! I want no more trouble on the way to the hotel! And no drinking until after we’re back from ‘HC Sports Rentals’. Those skates need to fit, people, it’s important!”

Spruitland's Minister of Sports sighed again, only just managing not to turn around and head back up the ramp.


The Spruitland Ice Bunnies

GK Ludovic Robins
GK Julien Karoot

D Pjotr Zamboni
D Karl Mellick
D Jean Oorweeg
D Wouter Luidt
D Sven Huberts
D Ludo Keersmaeckers
D Frank Zandt

L Marino Poirot
L Johan Bronkhorst
L Bengt Jonson
L Ferdi Schtrumpf

C André Vermeylen
C Stijn Moereels
C Pär Lange
C Aren Kiersted
C Danny De Ceuster

R Louis Dardenne
R Hadar Vibbard
R Rudy Smets
R Frey Kirby
R Donald Vervoort

Team Kit:
http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y197/Spruitland/SPRhockeykit.jpg

"Where's the roster?"

"Jaquee has it."

"And where is Jaquee?"

"In Commie Brazil."

"...the hell?"

"Remember? The COC sent half the Board Of Regents to the NSIOC meeting? Jaquee and Evann and Emmer can't leave yet."

"It's called a fax machine."

"This is Jaquee we're talking about."

"Aw hell."

Roster comming soon ;)

Robotopolis Sun-Times
We're Back!

"WE IS ALL GONNA DIE!"
Later: No one did
This text is smaller than the last
Boo!

The above term was yelled by 2nd line Defenseman Guts Man as the team plane lost a wing and nearly crashed and exploded upon landing at :INSERT AIRPORT NAME: International Airport. Luckily, none of the players or Head Coach Wily were injured in the landing. They haven't been able to find Napalm Man's spare ammunition storage though...Anyway, the Synthos were able to escape the plane with (most of) their stuff, and only one minor injury(Pilot suffered a mild concussion).

The Synthos return to the Cherry Cup for the 5th time, looking for their 3rd straight Championship and a place in the recordbooks(Take THAT, Starblaydia!). The team's roster remains largely untampered with since its introduction in Cherry Cup IX, with only a few line switches, mostly on the defense. But the big boss, Dr. Wily, feels like there needs to be a few changes made, removing some players and adding others. But, seeing as this is Cherry Cup 13 , Doc Wily has taken the superstisious route and will announce changes to the roster AFTER this year's cup. We can only guess what's he's got up his large sleeves....

THE OPPOSITION! Boo! Hiss!

Iansisle
Blessed Restraint
Daistallia 2104
The Mushroom Kingship
Hockey Canada
Fimble loving peoples
Lovisa

Anyway, analyzing the division the Synthos have been put it, it's virtually a sure thing for the Synthos to top the division at the end of regulation play. You've got Iansisle, who we've beaten; Hockey Canada...seriously, who cares about them?; FLP, who've been in a small slump since their Cherry Cup IX finals appearance; Lovisa, who's almost on Squornshelous' level when it comes to sucking; and 3 rookies.

It's gonna be a piece of cake. Threepeat, here we come!


http://www.aaroncity.com/kanjiri/drwlogo.gif

And now, the line-ups of the Robotopolis Synthos:

Head Coach: Dr. Albert E. Wily

The Offensive Lines:

1st Line:
LW: Elec Man (One of the fastest players on the team, Elec Man is good at streaming down the ice to set up pass plays and one-timers. He also has a good eye on where to aim in the net.) (ASSISTANT CAPTAIN)
C: Shadow Man (Having the fastest reflexes on the team(He's a ninja), Shadow Man was the clear choice for center. Great at winning faceoffs, Shadow Man also has a great knack for skating around and out checks) (ASSISTAINT CAPTAIN)
RW: Ice Man (THE fastest skater on his team, Ice Man was made to play this sport. Great puck-handling skills, making him a prime passer. He led all the other RMs in assists in the pre-tourney scrimmages.) (CAPTAIN)

2nd Line:
LW: Search Man (This guy, he has two heads. One controls the skating, the other controls the puck-handling. This makes him an exeptionally graceful skater for a robot of his size(He's big enough to be a defenseman). He's the best checker among the linemen, but the two brains can get mixed up some times. And that's when he falls down. On the otherhand, he's the 2nd best shot on the team.) (ASSISSTIANT CAPTAIN)
C: Crystal Man (When he's on the field, CM's the lead tactician. He's got a great mind for plays, but his reflexes aren't as good as Shadow Man's. He's as fast as Elec Man, but the big crystal orb in the middle of his head slightly impairs his vision, lowering his accuracy.)
RW: Magic Man (Magic Man is the master of faking out his opponent, allowing him to get by. He seems to fire passes out of no where, when you least expect it. In all other aspects though, he's just above average.)

3rd Line:
LW: Quick Man (The second-fastest staker, next to Ice Man. This guy is ALWAYS moving. The only time he takes a break is when he's on the bench, but even then he pacing. He's great for seting up one-timers, because you never know when or where his passes or shots are gonna come from, but it's this randomness that makes it hard for his teammates to get anything from him.)
C: Gemini Man (Gemini Man is unique in the fact that he can create a holo-gram of himself that copies everything he does. This is great for confusing his opponents, but often his teammates can't tell if they're passing to the real GM or the fake.)
RW: Freeze Man (A watered-down Ice Man in most aspects, except he's taller, and more aggressive in checking, earning him more penalty minutes than average.)

4th Line:
LW: Charge Man(Charge Man is the dumbest lineman. He routienely makes mistakes, and sometimes crashes into the boards by himself. He's incredibly fast, though, and literally runs over plays in his way. He's usually in the penalty box for ths)
C: Tengu Man(Tengu Man is the tallest robot on the offensive side, and he's got sharp eyes for open shots and passes. His ego often gets in his way, and he doesn't take obvious passes, prefering to keep all the glory for himself.)
RW: Turbo Man(Turbo Man...I got nothing to say about Turbo Man. He's fast, big, but not very good with the puck. Vulnerable ot poke checks.)

The Defensive Line:

1st Line:
LD: Frost Man (Frost Man is HUGE. If you get checked by this guy, you're gonna feel it. He caused the most injuries in the scrimmages, which is why he was selected for 1st Line. He's not very bright though, and slow. Likes popsicles)
RD: Napalm Man(This guy hates you, your family, your friends, your dog, your house, and everything else. He relishes in smashing players into the boards and taking the puck. This ultra-agressive plan, however, nets him a great amount of penalty minutes. Led all Robot Masters in penalty minutes and fights in the scrimmages) (ASSISTIANT CAPTAIN)

2nd Line:
LD: Dive Man (Dive Man is one agressive dude. He's great at knocking a guy down, thanks to his slightly bulky body. Smallest defenseman, but that's not saying much. Frequently called for elbowing.)
RD:Guts Man (Guts Man is just a slightly smaller, slightly faster Frost Man. They're both dim-wits, though)


Goalies:
Starter: Blizzard Man (Blizzard Man is a master of the sticks. He often prefers to plays with two sticks, instead of one stick and the glove. His large body doesn't hurt either.)
Reserve 1: Wood Man (Wood Man is a big guy, often using his own body to deflect oncoming pucks. He's better with the glove than the stick)
Reserve 2: Clown Man(Clown Man, while being the smallest of the 3 goalies, has the best reflexes. He's the best at catching pucks, often not bothering to use the stick.)

"Ahhhhh, what a beautiful -21 degree day it is today!"

"I know sir, It's a scorcher out there- maybe some sun tan lotion?"

"No thanks Gary, did they ever get that plane out of your ass?"

"Nope, Bob Goodenow is protesting in the cockpit."

*Chuckles* "So we're finally hosting- thinking aboot putting a good team together for this one?"

"Yes sir, we've got the best players to come out of the system ever."

"Think we can win the tournement?"

"It may be a struggle getting out of the division."

"What? why?"

"Robotopolis"

"So what?"

"Iansisle"

"We'll freeze the gulls out of the game"

"Blessed Restraint"

"New team I guess?"

"Daistallia 2104"

"Not much info on them I guess"

"The Mushroom Kingship"

"I like my mushrooms cold... not that i'm on them."

"Fimble loving peoples"

"They'll be Frozen Loving Peoples soon enough."

"and Lovisa"

"We'll run those Bisons off a cliff."

"We have the fastest, biggets and hardest-hitting team yet Mr. Quinn. Prepare to make history for the coldest, most expensive and entertaining Cherry Cup yet."

"How much are those small coffees anyway?"

"12 Zlins."

"WHAT THE-"


Hockey Canada's Roster for Cherry Cup XIII:

Line 1:

RW 36- Mike Baruzzio
C 93- Kyle Thomas (Captain)
LW 3- Scott Hannan

Line 2:

RW 23- Greg Bossy
C 12- Pete Cugno (Assistant Captain)
LW 8- Trent LeClair

Line 3:

RW 68- Ben Martin
C 45- Tyler Kosumovic
LW 5- Justin Reinder

Line 4:

RW 63- Earl Grey
C 4- Damien Morris
LW- Jarret Moreau

Defence:

D 20- Blake Metziton
D 22- Darren Ilston
D 43- Jamie Gerhardt
D 49- Mike Johnson
D 69- Blue Red (Assistant Captain)
D 73- Red Green

Goalies:

G 00- Marcus Cousineau-Marchentz (to be held in minors)
G 33- Maurice Roy (backup)
G 63- Vladislav Myshakov (starter)



Coach: Gary Quinn
Assistant Coach: Doug Crawford
Assistant Coach: Mark Kazamarek
Assistant Coach: Yanic Perrault
Trainer: Doug Brown
Manager: Jéan Poutinè

There you have it folks, the roster for Hockey Canada. We're back to win it all!!!!!!

(OOC)I cant find my sodding list but its the same as CCXI um we dont get rp bonuses do we?

Its 1 in the morn and i cant be arsed doing something nice so you can wait! :p

Coach Toombs: "Right, mates! This is it! This is the big time! We've gotten to the Cherry Cup 'cause we're the best of the best and we're not going to blow it, are we?"
Annihilators*in unison*: "Ready, Aye, Ready!"
Toombs: Now, you gaspodichee get out there are play hockey like you mean it! Killer, you remember how I taught you to skate?"
Killer Quillbane: "Like this, Coach?" *swings arms like a gorilla on a tightrope*
Toombs: "Precisely! "Dent! What did I tell you about your shooting?"
A.P. Dent: "Uhh, that taking out the refs is a bad thing?"
Toombs: "Very good, mate."
Dent: "But coach, in Skurrey we can..."
Toombs: *puts head in hands* "Dent, for once please, just go with it, will you? I'm not babysitting you lads! This is a professional arena, and a professional game, and could you all just ACT like professionals?" *looks over to Rock Fergussen* Oh, bloody hell...Rock, would you, for the last time, remove the razor blades from your hockey stick? This is not a warzone, this is a bloody hockey game!"
Fergussen: "sorry Coach! No worries, eh?"
Toombs: "Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish....Now you gent'lmen go out there and MAKE MERCAENARIA PROUD! On three! 1, 2,3!
Team*In unison*: TURAH ATTOCK HOOT! *salute and bang sticks on chest plates*
Quillbane:*seconds behind everyone else* "TURAH ATTOCK HOOT!" Ummmm...
Toombs: "Killer, 3 comes after 2, yes?"
Quillbane: "That's right coach. And 1 comes before 2 and 3 is before many!"
Toombs: "Oh god, this isn't going to be good for anyone..."

MERCAENARIA TEAM ROSTER
Coach: Douglas Toombs
Asst. Coach:Whatever Toombs happens to be drinking at the time.

#11"Killer" Quillbane-D
#13 Arthur P. Dent-F
#01 Rock Fergussen-G
#08 Erik erikssen-F
#21 Jack Morgan-D
#64 Rod Chamberlain-F
#35 Ivan Smolnikoff-F
#47 Jason Pardo-F
#09 Jason Moore-D
#12 Shane Morganson-D
#22 Doug Liff-F
#42 Adam Douglass-G
#17 Jake LaFleur-D
#81 C.M Dibbler-D
#67 Dave Wowbagger-F
#29 Justin Hirsh-D

Very Frigid Rabbits International Ice Hockey Team, the Artic Hares, have arrived in Hockey Canada. They are extremely busy, having divided into teams.

Team "A" is searching for the $%&_@#*& thermostat - it's cold!

Team "B" is out scouring the country-side for firewood - it's very cold!

Team "C" is out buying up all the winter coats, gloves, mittens, hats, earmuffs, scarves, boots, long-johns (what are long-johns? thermal underwear, silly), wool socks, and ski-mask they can find - it's really cold!

Team "D" is procurring blankets, comforters, hot-water bottles, sleeping bags, and electric blankets - did we says it's cold!?

Team "E" is trying to find the Don Cherry Cup XIII Organization and Operations Committee - carrying a petition to have the Cup moved to ANYWHERE where a person (er...rabbit...) can breath without icicles forming in their lungs - because it's cold!

There isn't anyone left to post a roster. Perhaps after they warm up a bit...

Year of the Cassowary?

Bi Kikere, the people's representative (minister) for sports, territorial defence, long bubble baths and Dutchman-killing, has issued gthe following decree:

"In this, the year of the Cassowary, and on the soil of Hockey Canada, the Tanah Burung Cassowaries are expected to take home the gold. After all, the number 13 is considered lucky in our culture. And we are ranked number three, which is even luckier. Under the leadership of our coach, Sister Hale Maria, the Cassowaries are edxpected to comte every time they lance. No rabbits were harmed in the making of this announcement."

But why had she declared 13 to be lucky, which it never has been before in Burungi culture? And when had the country started naming years after animals?

"Shut up," she explained.*

*Plagiarism is, in Burungi culture, the sincerest form of flattery.

*A room in Hockey Canada. Coach Ari Mikkonen is laying in bed in his hotel room. The radio splutters into life, the end of I Got You Babe playing.

"...and you'd better put your booties on cos it's COLD out there today!"
"It's cold out there every day, Phil."

* Coach Mikkonen gets up and puts some clothes on. The two radio hosts continue chatting.

"You know what day it is today, eh?"
"CHERRY CUP DAY!"

Coach Mikkonen picks up a hammer, and destroys the clock radio.

Year of the Cassowary?

Bi Kikere, the people's representative (minister) for sports, territorial defence, long bubble baths and Dutchman-killing, has issued gthe following decree:

"In this, the year of the Cassowary, and on the soil of Hockey Canada, the Tanah Burung Cassowaries are expected to take home the gold. After all, the number 13 is considered lucky in our culture. And we are ranked number three, which is even luckier. Under the leadership of our coach, Sister Hale Maria, the Cassowaries are edxpected to comte every time they lance. No rabbits were harmed in the making of this announcement."

But why had she declared 13 to be lucky, which it never has been before in Burungi culture? And when had the country started naming years after animals?

"Shut up," she explained.*

*Plagiarism is, in Burungi culture, the sincerest form of flattery.

Hockey Canada's scouting reports

Robotopolis- The Robots should freeze in sub-zero temperatures, because our hard-hitting will NOT let them walk away with a "threepeat"

Iansisle- The Gulls and Flyers are fellow birds, but gulls will need to keep warm before they freeze.

Blessed Restraint- New team that will ahve to just learn what will happen in the Cherry Cup.

Daistallia 2104 - New team that will ahve to just learn what will happen in the Cherry Cup.

The Mushroom Kingship- New team that will ahve to just learn what will happen in the Cherry Cup.

Fimble loving peoples- FLP will try to regain their respect they once had in the Cherry Cup by setting fire to the other team's frozen habits.

Lovisa- The Bisons better have a thick coat- rivalling that of a wolly mammoth- if they plan on advancing.

ooc: Look at posts 17, 18, and 19! TBs post is duplicated - it's the first dup I've seen that is "split" by another post. And the other post is Krytenia's "spoof" of "Groundhog Day"... :)

All right, all right! Enough talk, let's play! When's game day, then?

Robotopolis- The Robots should freeze in sub-zero temperatures, because our hard-hitting will NOT let them walk away with a "threepeat"

And now, a rebuttal by Ice Man, team captain

http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Arcade/9361/sprite-ice.gif : "First off, That's big talking from a nation that's never made it past the Elite 8. Second, Robots actually run BETTER in cold weather! We don't shiver and wrap ourselves in tremendous amoutns of movement-hindering blankets and clothing like you pathetic organics seem to do. Anti-freeze is also a big help."

http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Arcade/9361/sprite-ice.gif : "Also, any nation that thinks they can take us out on sheer brute force has obviously forgotten that THEY AREN'T PLAYING OTHER HUMANS! We're robots, for crying out loud! Made of titanium alloy, and usually with sharp edges! It feels like you're running into a steel wall when you try and knock us down. And let's not forget that we've got some of the biggest, if not THE biggest defensemen in the cup! Need I remind you of the Titanium Tower known as Frost Man? He's over 8 feet tall, and big to boot!"

http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Arcade/9361/sprite-frost.gif
The Robot Master in question.
He's HOOGE, I tells ya! :O

http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Arcade/9361/sprite-ice.gif : "In closing, I would like to remind you of the Chincadian Sun's playoff predictions in the last Cup. We were written off as being knocked out in the first round, merely because we lost a game or two. But we showed them and whalloped the fiznuts out of each team we played...Including Hockey Canada! Burn! We're not gonna let any team of organics get in the way of our 3rd championship in as many cups, and that's final!

*Ice Man exits, screen fades to black*

We find Otto Matic, Director of Operations for the Artic Hares of Very Angry Rabbits, just finishing up his roster for Cherry Cup XIII - otherwise known as "Ice on Ice". Clutching his down comforter with his mittened hand, and wrapping it around his overcoat (which is appropriately over another coat), he jams a big floppy hat over his big floppy ears. With a regretful glance at the roaring fire in the fireplace, and a final sip of hot cocoa, he picks up the two copies of the Artic Hares roster - a difficult task wearing mittens, but after a few minutes and a couple of select phrases which we will delicately refrain from repeating, he succeeds. He dashes into the hall outside his office...well, as much of a dash as is possible wrapped in a down comforter over two overcoats and wearing over-sized boots over sized boots (am I stuttering?). There, he quickly - he quickly - quickly - .

There he slowly (the blasted mittens again) posts one roster on the bulletin board, and hands (mittens?) the other to the waiting messenger. Then he nudges the messenger a few times. The messengers left hand snaps off.

Otto calls for the medical staff, and a slightly warmer messenger to deliver the other copy of the roster to Cherry Cup XIII ("Ice on Ice") Officials. He then dashes (see above notation on "dashing" in Hockey Canada) back into his office to sit by the fire and take some of the chill off.

Have we mentioned that it's cold here?

INTRODUCING THE NEW AND IMPROVED
anything would be an improvement

Arctic Hares
Hockey Team from Very Angry Rabbits
Version 13 (Cherry Cup XIII - "Ice on Ice")

Goalkeepers:
Rumplestiltskin #01 Normal Starting Goalkeeper
Sneezy #199 substitute

Defenders:
1st Defense
Dopey #52
Doc #54
2nd Defense
Sleepy #62
Grumpy #64
3rd Defense
Bashful #72
Happy #74

Right Wingers:
Dasher #80 – 1st line *
Dancer #81 – 2nd line
Donner #82 - 3rd line
Blitzen #83 – 4th line

Left Wingers:
Comet #90 – 1st line
Cupid #91 – 2nd line @
Prancer #92 – 3rd line
Vixen #93 – 4th line

Centers:
Elmo #109– 1st line
Bert #110 – 2nd line
Ernie #111 – 3rd line
Snuffleufagus #112– 4th line

* Captain
@ Alternate Captain

Director of Operations
Sir Otto Matic
Order of the Red Garter
Lord of the Upland Warrens

Revuocnav Division:

Squornshelous- 4 (OT)
Formal Dances- 3

Kalaallit Nunaat- 6
Fmjphoenix- 2

Liverpool England- 3
Mercaenaria- 0

Tonissia- 3
Very Angry Rabbits- 7

Xafilah Division:

Robotopolis- 6
Lovisa- 1

Iansisle- 7
Fimble Loving Peoples- 3

Blessed Restraint- 1
Hockey Canada- 4

Daistallia 2014- 1
The Mushroom Kingship- 1

Kebewoys Division:

The Gulf States- 3
Harlesburg- 4

Oliverry- 5
Tanah Burung- 5

Starblaydia- 8
Vtorbetin- 0

Corneliu- 1
Rittia- 2 (OT)

Insert Name Here Division:

Druida- 3
Euroslavia- 3

Vilita- 3
Kericia- 2

Spruitland- 4
Krytenia- 1

Chicanada- 6
Kassyyk- 1

SportsNet: The first 16 game shave been shocking for some, but no ice has been frozen here folks- THE WHOLE COUNTRY'S COVERED IN IT! Squornshelous stops losing with winning ways, and the Iceberg seems at home in these temperatures. Liverpool England got a quick win, but during the game someone took off the "L" in Liverpool causing quite an uproar of protests in the crowd. The Rabbits showing some teeth in the cold as Tonissia freezes first in their game.

Robotopolis is showing cold steel and cold hearts (do they have those?) as they show no mercy to Lovisa. The Gulls adapted more like penguins in their win over FLP. The Canucks showed the newcomers hit their way to an eays win over Blessed Restraint. Newbies Daistallia 2014 and The Mushroom Kingship settle at 1 apiece.

Harlesburg squeezes by The Gulf States in their win. The group labeled by critics as "Group of Death" comes true as heavyweights Oliverry and Tanah Burung clash for a 5-5 tie. Starblaydia has no hearts, but if they did it'd be frozen as they totally destroyed Vtorbetin 8-0. Rittia inches by Corneliu in overtime to get the 2 points.

Druida and Euroslavia tie as a brawl nearly erupted as the two teams skated off the ice after the game. Vilita shows why they've been in hockey for a long time to beat Kericia. The Bunnies must be from the north proving themselves over Krytenia. Kodiaks maul Kassyyk with an easy victory.

This is Cherry Cup with MAXIMUM FUN, ENTERTAINMENT, FOOD, EXPENSIVENESS, FROSTBITE AND SHRINKAGE!

FRED: "Well, Mr Langdone, would you care to explain what this is that you've attached to the end of your hockey stick?"

ASHLEE: "It's a industrial-quality cutting laser, Fred."

FRED: "I ... see."

ASHLEE: "Yup."

FRED: "Would you care to explain why you've attached an industrial-quality cutting laser to the end of your hockey stick?"

ASHLEE: "Nope. I only just escaped from Chicanada. Wouldn't do to tip off the Hockey Canadians so soon."

FRED: "But - now you have to plug your hockey stick into the nearest heavy-duty high voltage socket. And you've only got about fifty feet of extension cord, from what I can see. Won't that affect your puck handling skills?"

ASHLEE: "Puck... handling... What the puck is a puck?"

FRED: "That little black thing that teams try to hit into the net to score goals."

ASHLEE: "Ooh, that. Nope, that's not my part of the game. Martin, he hits the puck. Me, I hit other players. I guess it might be kind of annoying on the faster ones, but you should see how much this laser extends my range. Besides, think about how much more respect those robots will have for us now!"

*Ashlee flips a switch on his hockey stick. An ominous humming fills the air.*

ASHLEE: "Yup, it's about time they respected someone. Muhahaha!"

-----

Fresh from Iansisle, the land where everyone goes to the beach in perfect 82º weather after the game, YOUR CHERRY CUP VII CHAMPION IANSISLEEEE GUUUUUUUULLS!

http://www.arthritis.org/images/chapters/sandiego/gulls_logo_t.gif (http://sandiegogulls.com/)
Gulls CCXIII Roster:

G: Sergei Naumov
G: Trevor Koenig

RW: Martin St. Amour
RW: Mark Woolf (AC)
RW: Dennis Purdie
RW: Ashlee Langdone
RW: R.J. Enga

LW: Kevin St. Jacques
LW: Sandro Sbrocca
LW: Clayton Read
LW: Mark Pederson
C: B.J. MacPherson (C)
C: Mark Stitt
C: David Neal
C: Sylvain Deschatelets

D: Jamie Black
D: Brett Larson (AC)
D: Sergei Visegorodcevs
D: Taj Melson
D: Kevin Grant
D: Samy Nasreddine
D: Sammy Dejean

First Line
RW: Martin St. Amour
C: B.J. MacPherson
LW: Kevin St. Jacques

Second Line
RW: Mark Woolf
C: Mark Stitt
LW: Mark Pederson

Third Line
RW: Ashlee Langdone
C: David Neal
LW: Sandro Sbrocca

Fourth Line
RW: Dennis Purdie
C: Sylvain Deschatelets
LW: Clayton Read

Defensive Line 1
RD: Jamie Black
LD: Sergei Visegorodcevs

Defensive Line 1
RD: Taj Melson
LD: Samy Nasreddine

Power Play 1
RW: Mark Woolf
C: B.J. MacPherson
LW: Kevin St. Jacques
RD: Jamie Black
LD: Samy Nasreddine

Power Play 2
RW: Martin St. Amour
C: Mark Stitt
LW: Mark Pederson
RD: Taj Melson
LD: Samy Nasreddine

Penalty Kill 1
RW: Ashlee Langdone
LW: Kevin St. Jacques
RD: Brett Larson
LD: Sergei Visegorodcevs

Penalty Kill 2
RW: Martin St. Amour
LW: Mark Woolf
RD: Taj Melson
LD: Samy Nasreddine

Kericia Seagulls Roster To Be Announced, Kericia Loses to Vilita Despite No Roster

KNS
May 25 05

After months of preparation for Kericia's third appearance in the Cherry Cup, the roster, which has been kept under wraps, will be unveiled. Hundreds of aspiring Seagulls reportedly tried out for the team, and the list will be cut to 24 tomorrow. After two mediocre performences, Kericia will rest their hopes on the new college-level players on the team. For the first two cups, the team was composed of inexperienced high school players and middle-aged former stars looking for glory on the international level. Because of collegiate tournaments and a lack of interest, there were no college players on the roster. This year, however, the majority team is expected to be from a college team. If Kericia does struggle, a lack of chemistry could be cited as the problem, as the new team will likely feature almost all new players. Better players don't guarentee success. But it has to help. However, they didn't help in today's game in which Kericia lost 3-2. Kericia played sloppily, and appeared to not even know the Cup had started yet. Brand new goalie Brett Leonhardt played badly, allowing two goals in the first 10 minutes of the game. He was pulled early in favor of Frank Soranno, who gave up the other goal. Kericia will likely play some team tomorrow, but KNS has no information on which one.

After the Tonissia - Very Angry Rabbits game, Otto Matic (wrapped in six layers of coats, blankets, and comforters) holds a press conference.

"Sir?"

"Yes, you in the back - the lady turning a nice shade of blue."

"Sir, to what do you attribute your victory today?"

"Grease."

"Grease?"

"A thick layer of grease."

"A thick layer of...on what, sir?"

"Everything."

"Huh?"

"A thick layer of grease on everything. Helped keep the team warm."

"What about the fact that the Tonissian players were frozen in place."

"Thick layer of grease."

"What?"

"On our skates. Kept 'em from gettin' frozen to the ice surface. Tonissia didn't have a thick layer of grease, and..."

"...Got frozen to the surface."

"Exactly. Any other questions?"

The rest of the press corps having either left for warmer climes - or having turned deep blue and passed out - or are chattering to the point were asking a question would cause them to bite their tongues in half; there are no more questions.

Otto quickly retires (well - wrapped up like that, he actually waddles slowly along quite like a penguin) to his office to try to thaw out.

The Artic Hares - warmed by hot cocoa, fur-lined costumes, huge quantities of alcohol, and the thrill of victory, are out until VERY late. The next morning the Hockey Canadian Newspapers (well, those that someone wasn't burning for warmth) are filled with reports of an incredibly strange looking Conga line of people in odd dress, ostriches, crocodiles (some of these were approached by Tanah Burung players - we have not yet determined why), a giraffe, and a partridge in a pear tree appearing all over town throughout the night.

The Very Angry Rabbits medical staff deals with a large number of cases of frost-bite that following day.

-----------------------
ooc: edit alcohol does NOT warm you. in fact, although you initially feel warmer after drinking alcolhol on a cold day, it actually makes you more susceptible to the cold.

ChicanadaSun
The coolest news...thing ever!

Kodiaks Plunder Win From Kassyyk, Page 4 Girls Cover Up
Lack of cleavage sends readers into despair

SOMEWHERE IN HOCKEY CANADA - The biggest news out of Cherry Cup XIII is not how Chicanada pounded Kassyyk 6-1 but how Page 4 Beauties Bipsy and H'kol had to find clothes.

The lovely lasses, on hand to provide their very own sense of commentary for chicanadasun.org and Canal 4's broadcast showed up in very bulky parkas that have caused concern for Canal - because they are used to up the ratings even more.

One fan of the Kodiaks said "Mah frozen H'Kol!" before crying like a baby. He was joined by hundreds of single and married men (and some like-minded females) to see that H'kol, the sensible one, wore a nifty pantsuit that kept her warmer than Bipsy, who kept changing into more and more layers, eventually recieving a coat from the Kassyyk side to wear. No word on exactly how she got the coat, and lets not think this one through.

With crazy Jaquee expected to join the team in the frigid north after the NSIOC gets done in very warm Communist Brazil, most think the Kodiaks can shine with less interference and the VAR don't have to whip out their birdsuits just yet.

And for the 63 million households (beating CanaTV's airing of the Chicanadan Song Contest by 3 million while easily passing Northern's Crime and Punishment and CityTV's Nickname) who watched the victory last night, here's the Kodiak's roster, as sent by fax buy the every lovely and sane Emmer.

First Line:

Mashir Barazin C Colombo
Jerrad Los W Provincetown
Bastian Opei W Bishop HC
Ioan Luff D Star Point
Peris Alcazar D Rosa City
Mirel Kros G Atens

Reserves:

Tribecca York C Easten
Mordecai Lincoln C Crossing HC
Terrence Philton W Verde
Lin Fe W Mission HC
Karoli Uganzi W Provincetown
Blu Gondril W Livingston
Forrest Winston W HC Ashely
Harrison Klingstron W Provincetown
Quentin Sloven W West Coast HC
Derk Louve D HC Ashley
Sylvester Youden D Township
Finnen Elmeron D Saint Croix
Rodgeon Kittzenson D Cana HC
Gradan K'lzojo D Jaxx
Salan Ovedon D Verde
G Dumair Prada G Eoden
G Garen Wallase G Easten

Kebewoys Division:

The Gulf States- 3
Harlesburg- 4

Oliverry- 5
Tanah Burung- 5

Starblaydia- 8
Vtorbetin- 0

Corneliu- 1
Rittia- 2 (OT)


The Rittian National Hockey Team got a 2-1 overtime victory over #21 Corneliu today. Coach Manzanero said he was "elated" with this "big victory."
The team is now 1-0-0.

The game started off with a demoralizing early breakaway goal by Corneliu. Goalie Javier Sanden was unable to stop the killer wrist shot into the top corner by one of Corneliu's forwards. "He faked over to one side and then came back. Javier's been practicing breakaways, but this was a perfect shot. They earned that goal," said Manzanero.

The next two periods were a hotly contested back-and-forth race where each squad's goalie and defense really shined. Corneliu made 31 shots on goal, all stopped by Sanden. Corneliu threatened briefly in the second period, getting a dangerous offensive run while on powerplay, making ten shots in a thirty second span. The game then resumed its normal tempo. After the lengthy stalemate, Rittia's left winger Nelson Wasilewski got a beautiful wraparound goal with just under two minutes left in the period. The whole team was on the ice for over a minute in celebration before referees and Coach Manzanero could get them back under control. Each team held on defensively for the next two minutes, forcing the game into overtime.

Overtime was an offensive melee. Each team took lots of shots in quick bursts before the puck would go back to the other end. Finally, four minutes in, the game was brought to an end in a scrum in front of Corneliu's goal. Rittian defender Cecil LeBarbera made a quick pass to LW Nelson Wasilewski, who tried to one-time it in. However, a Corneliu defender deflected the pass into a crowd in front of the net. There was a struggle for several seconds until center Kel Kranfeldt tapped the puck in. "I couldn't even see where the goalie was. I was trying to get a hard shot, but it was so tangled up in there that it was a pretty slow one. I think their goalie didn't see it in time to make the save, though, because of the crowd. On the replay he's got one of his guys right in front of him and he doesn't react right when I shoot it. Normally that guy's really sharp. I was getting pretty frustrated in regular time because it almost seemed like he was there to stop the puck before I even shot. He's a good goalie, I just got lucky."

Lucky or not, the team went wild. The scene was mirrored back at home, as thousands of new hockey fans danced in the streets and set off fireworks.


Stats:

Team: 2 GF, 1 GA, GFA 2, GAA 1; 1-0-0

Individual:

Nelson Wasilewski 1 G, 1 A, 2pts
Kel Kranfeldt 1 G, 0 A, 1pts
John Lubinsky 0 G, 1 A, 1pts

Javier Sanden 42 SV, 1 GA, GAA 1, SV% 97.7

Tonissia Has changed Its Name to Tennesse Fans

"Have you seen this?"

"...maybe."

"What do you mean 'maybe' - you either have or you haven't! Maximum fun, it says here, maximum fun! Is this is maximum fun, I'd hate to see what...er...the opposite of maximum fun is. What is the opposite of maximum fun?"

"Minimum fun?"

"Hmmm...no, I'd link that more to a dull game with few goals than one that we lose by twenty or so. Oh, I don't know...whatever it is, this was bad, and most definitely not fun. Do you think those Hockey Canadians are getting us back for making a joke about them in the Under 21 Tournament?"

"Possibly..."

"You're a whole load of help, aren't you? Yes, that must be it! It wasn't as if it was a particularly nasty joke - hell, I don't even think many people noticed it...apart from that raucous crowd that burnt my mailbox and spread meringue on my car before spraying it with a hose."

"It did taste quite nice."

"...you licked my car?"

"Perhaps..."

"Stop that, it's getting annoying now! Well...what are we goin to do about this?"

"We could blame it on HC?"

"We could...but we'd probably lose the rest of our games 20-0. They're spiteful like that, you see."

"How about we call the doctor?"

"The doctor! Yes - he'll come up with some inane reason for our defeat that deflects blame away from me and my organisational skills! Get him on the phone."

*gets doctor on phone*

"Hello doctor...yes...we'd like you to come up with another inane reason for our defeat that deflects blame away from the boss and his organisational skills...yes...oh...okay, I'll tell him...thank you, doctor."

*hangs up*

"Well, what did he say?"

"He said that you're an idiot."

"Oh...should we go with that then?"

"I don't know...I personally would use 'dunderhead'."

"Really, because I always thought that that word was a bit - wait a second, he called me an idiot!?!"

"Yes, he also said that if you call him up again he'll put a curse on you."

"Please, I don't believe in curses - call him up."

*calls doctor*

"Hello doctor...yes, it's him again...repeat after you?...okay...pokky...wokky...mokky...yoo...okay, goodbye doctor."

*hangs up*

"See, stupid curses - they never work."

"Sir...your ears are growing."

"What the - aaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhh!"

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y197/Spruitland/sportsgazette.jpg


Ice Bunnies surprise everyone, mostly themselves

Spruitland – Krytenia: 4 – 1

The Spruitland Ice Bunnies pulled off a shock result as they won their very very very first ice hockey game, scoring four goals to Krytenia’s one, and all while learning how to skate.

The Ice Bunnies had been given access to a training rink, but had chosen not to make use of it and spent their time “warming up” with alcohol instead.

“We’ll be fine. Nothing like a good field test,” coach Coach said from the hotel bar as two players were engaged in an impromptu hockey stick sword fight in the background, the others cheering them on, using jockstraps to catapult handfuls of beer nuts at the duelists.

The first five players that managed to put on all their equipment in a reasonably acceptable fashion were chosen to form the starting line-up, and Ludovic Robins was pushed into the goal half-dressed. When the first shot on goal sailed narrowly over his head he tried to bolt for the exit, but was intercepted by his teammates, blindfolded, and forced back onto the ice with the order to wave his arms from time to time.

Despite that marvelous piece of advice, Krytenia scored a goal less than 4 minutes into the first period, effortlessly bypassing the Spruitland defense – possibly because they were hanging on to the boards for dear life.

The Krytenians did not get a lot of time to celebrate though, as the entire Spruitland bench had been waiting impatiently for just this kind of excuse and stormed onto the ice for their first all-out hockey brawl.

Despite an overall impairment of their sense of balance, the Ice Bunnies managed to hold their own and by the time the fight ended, a good twelve minutes later, most of the team had mastered how to use their hockey sticks creatively.

Mastering the skating part took a bit longer, but with a Krytenian side that seemed reluctant to score another goal, the Spruitlanders were given the room to learn at their own pace. The first period and most of the second was used to try to make it from one sideboard to the other without falling down, while the Krytenians cowered near their own goal.

To entertain the crowd in the mean time, Louis Dardenne and Marino Poirot provided an improvised figure skating exhibition, until the latter was ‘accidentally’ struck in mid-pirouette by a randomly flying hockey stick of Spruitlandian manufacture.

But by then some of the Ice Bunnies with Scandinavian sounding names were scooting across the ice as if they had been doing it all their lives, so the puck was recovered from Ludovic Robins’ pants, the referees were released from the penalty box, and play continued.

After the first half a dozen shots were convincingly stopped by the Krytenian goalkeeper, Zandt, Jonson and Kiersted executed a well-timed high speed three-way sandwich maneuver on the goalie, and subsequently dragged him off the ice by his feet.

Thirty seconds later a similar maneuver took down the back-up goalie as well, and a lack of Krytenian volunteers to take the place in goal made it slightly easier for the Spruitlanders to score. Dardenne and Jonson scored one each and Pär Lange scored two, all in the third period, to bring the final score to 4 – 1.

Spruitland Minister of Sports Olav Nett, who had watched the game from his hotel room in the company of a Hockey Canadian masseuse, arrived just in time at the press conference to say: “Well, at least we scored a goal. Better luck next – hmm? Oh! We did? How?!?”

None of the Spruitland players, nor the coach, were available for comments, all being well on their way into a celebratory drunken stupor.

Harlesburg Ice GulfStates
Harlesburg-4 The Gulfstates-3

Last night in Round one of the Thirteenth Cherry Cup Harlesburg notched up their first win.
The Win Against The Gulf States although not overly expected was strongly yurned for by both the Harlesburg Public and the team itself after the debacle caused by Harlesburg's last attempt to lift the Cherry Cup.

In that Expedition to far off lands it was if the Blades didnt even bother to show up in fact they were acussed of that at home and abroad many even calling for heads to roll.

But this Tournement looks different in fact its showing signs of being of equal glory as Harlesburg's first ever appearence at an International Ice Hockey event where the team went from last ranking to race to a much respected 10th place where not only did they win matches but against some tought opponents too.

Going into the game Harlesburg Coach Barry Melrose was one who had everything to lose on this game a loss could have cost him is job

"We knew that we had to play Hockey tonight and we did that it wasnt about me or the players we did it for Harlesburg ,we do it for Harlesburg,we'll do it or Halesburg!"

These were strong words from someone who looked slightly agitated before the game as anyone should but he overtly so.

While a Beautiful and crisp night outside the Arena was far from that cold and hospitable to both teams with the majority of the cowd angry fanatics of the local populus.


(OOC)So where is the draw?
Seeing as i still cant find my squad Captain 2 goals Goal tender Goal after they pull theres(sorry if its god mode) Goal from breakaway defender deflection to Forward

Host Hockey Canada Flyers Freeze Blessed Restraint

Well, now that we know we can host, we know we can win too. Unfortunately it's hollow due to the fact it was a 32nd place team beaten. Robotopolis and Iansisle came away in their group with big wins as well making the Flyer's win seem a little light. Kyle Thomas and Pete Cugno both lit the red light twice in the game but Vladislav Myshakov didn't sit too well when a light wrist shot beat him low to the right corner.

Thomas opened the scoring with a breakaway on his "signature move", simply faking his shot tot he left, pulling the puck to the right and roofing the puck under the crossbar. Doing the same 6 minutes later seemed to catch Blessed Restraint off guard as the Flyers took a 2-0 lead at the 1st intermission. The second period showed the host's dominance when Trent LeClair hammered a Blessed Restraint defender leaving a looming net for Cugno to shoot at. Cugno scored 4 minutes later on a tip-in from the point off a shot from Red Green.

The 3rd period was just for the Flyers to play shinny hockey as they amde plays and tried not to embarrass the Blessed Restraint team. Vladislav Myshakov played well until 3 minutes left when a Blessed Restraint forward shot on a powerplay to beat Myshakov on the glove side.

The next few games promise to be rather entertaining, with Iansisle and Robotopolis posing as the major threats in the group.

Reserved spot for a RP later(as I don't have time to RP right now)

Tonissian Roster
#26 Dennis Deon-D
# 2 Luigi Fenerr-F
#66 Mac Trug -G
#45 Ian Isile-F
#21 Chuck Dee-D
#77 Micky Van Josh -F
#90 Junie Donlevy-F
#1 Fred Flonstine-F C
#33 Jardin Oli-D
#99 Scot Rasstassen-D
#85 Hans Solo-F
#50 Berdain Triboneu-G
#22 Dan Nisbet-D
#79 Dale Cetaz-D
#6 Wally Ueyaharan-F
#0 Dan Norrlick-D

Tonissia Losses, Excuse me gets creamed

Tonissia 3 V.A.R 7
......1___2|__3___ G
TON 0....0....|3......3
VAR.4....2....|1..... 7
"Man those rabbits are angry" Stated Coach Steve Miller After an embarrasing Loss,"We were out,maned,guned and out shot We expect a better Game next Time, If not we'll through stuff And People Too" :sniper: :sniper:

"What the hell is a Vatorbettian?"

"Damned if I know, I think they play football too."

"Football, eh? Doesn't help much on the ice."

"Indeed. Eight-Nil, though, can't be bad."

"Certainly not when the Eight is next to your team's name."

"Indeed. Good start."

"Certainly is."

OOC: Moose always wins!


Revuocnav Division:
#17 Squornshelous
#4 Kalaallit Nunaat
#7 Liverpool England
#19 Tonissia
#6 Very Angry Rabbits
#32 Mercaenaria
#22 Fmjphoenix
#13 Formal Dances

Basic Division Summary:
We're screwed.

Ferrets Win?

Odd pairing of words isn't it
Somehow, Squornshelous managed to win a hockey game in this Cherry Cup, against a higher ranked team too. Both of the Squornshelan Hockey fans who attended the game are completely shocked. The game looked a little odd through the first and second periods, when the Ferrets jumped out to a 3-1 lead, but the third period was normal, with Squornshelous giving up its lead and looking all set to lose it in overtime. However, at 13:43 in the first OT period, Bjorn Rasmussen passed the puck up to Pavel Kasparov, who was standing near the FD goal. Pavel couldn't control the quick pass and it richochetted off of his stick, through the keeper's legs and into the goal.

Retired Players From Cherry Cup 12:

4 D Kriegor Markesson 1 39 Golgafrincham Marauders
8 C Jan Nelson 2 36 Stavromula Blades
13 LW Paul Duckett 3 34 Golgafrincham Marauders


Squornshelous Ferrets Roster:

# Pos Name Line Age Club
1 C Pavel Kasparov 1 32 Vogsphere Imperials
2 RW Andrey Gorvich 1 35 Xaxis Firebirds
6 RW Arne Rassmussen 4 24 Margrathea Slartibartfasts
7 C Jeff Noonan 3 26 Poghrill Tribe
11 D Vanislav Polovski 2 22 Milliway Prophets
14 C Pavel Dukov 2 27 Xaxis Firebirds
22 LW Jan Baros 3 19 Stavromula Blades
31 D Bjorn Rasmussen 1 31 Blerontia Demons
32 GK Viktor Orlov - 33 Vogsphere Imperials
33 D Ahmed Hakim 2 25 Fallia Crocodiles
36 D Krog Dugsk 3 33 Damogran Trogdors
43 LW Igor Petchukov 1 27 Striterax Knights
45 D Nick O'Connor 4 23 Striterax Knights
51 C Nicola Pablicosta 4 20 Golgafrincham Marauders
52 D Wet Biscuit MacGlee 3 34 Damogran Trogdors
61 LW Ilya Chuko 2 26 Algolia Suntigers
67 LW Janni Titov 4 21 Traal Bugblatters
81 D Adolf Netbers 1 29 Santraginus Sharks
82 RW Rudolf Karlson 3 24 Yassacca Foresters
84 RW Petr Zarik 2 30 Stavromula Blades
90 GK Miika Svenson - 28 Santraginus Sharks
99 D Hrolf Olafson 4 20 Golgafrincham Marauders

Daistallia 2104 - New team that will ahve to just learn what will happen in the Cherry Cup.

OOC: I am assuming you are unaware that we are a returning team. We played in the first several Cherry Cups. Kalaallit Nunaat,Tanah Burung, Iansisle, and The Gulf States should all remember me from the early days. I hope you don't take offense at our IC reactions to being called newbs...
;)

IC:
Coach Goldenes sat in his locker room office, looking over a "liberated" copy of Hockey Canada's scouting report on his team.
"New team? Heh."
He smiled.
"What short memories these guys have. At least they didn't bring up that idiot McGurk!"

Putting the report asside, he gave a final once over of the roster.

5 Pae Kruegger (Center)
4 Lhak-pa Tenzing (Center)
18 Gustav Mahler (Center)
2 Wolfgang Grimm (Wing)
3 Min Bon (Wing)
7 Walter Heinz (Wing)
8 Da-wa Lha-mo (Wing)
10 Johann Plien (Wing)
22 Dzi-mi Lha-mo (Wing)
25 Cho-nyi (Wing)
6 Erik Stall (Defense)
9 Wen Huek (Defense)
11Hans Freidli (Defense)
12 Gregor Stien (Defense)
13 Hu Mi (Defense)
16 Kae Mar (Defense)
17 Rikard Strauss (Defense)
19 Hans Fet (Goalie)
21 Erik Viking (Goalie)
24 Jen Jaeger (Goalie)

Inactive list:
20 Oliver Nord (Center)
1 Karl Hae (Wing)
14 Wi Rok (Defense)
15 Oliver Daes (Defense)
23 Franz Schlager (Goalie)

Head Coach: Adolf Goldenes
Assistant Coach: Silber Munzen

=====================================================


(Dateline Hockey Canada)
The Daistallian Gold Coins played to a 1-1 tie against the Mushroom Kingship in their first apperance in the Cherry Cup ice hockey tournament today. Meanwhile, the host appears intent on forgetting the early apperances of Daistallia in this tournament. SportsNet, a local news outlet insulted the nation by referring to Daistallia as "newbs".


Cherry Cup Host Bias!
With the nation watching the eagerly anticipated return of the Daistallian Gold Coins (formerly known as the Goldbugs) to the Cherry Cup international ihockey tournament, this editor is disgusted with the conduct of of the host! As a team returning after a long absence, we should be accorded some respect. Yes, we were unable to qualify for a number of years. However, the host is simply being rude! Rude I say!
We are "Newbs". Yes, that is correct! This is what the hosts SportsNet news outlet referred to the Gold Coins as being after their first game.
What has become of the Cherry Cup? Why is the current host unaware our teams history in this tournament?
I say it is an intentional insult!
I, for one, am calling on a boycot of Hockey Canada products until this insult is retracted.

Its MUSHROOM KINGSHIP to you

OOC: I am assuming you are unaware that we are a returning team. We played in the first several Cherry Cups. Kalaallit Nunaat,Tanah Burung, Iansisle, and The Gulf States should all remember me from the early days.

ooc: And it is agreat pleasure to welcome back, if memory serves, the only team worse than Tanah Burung in the first two Cherry Cups. ;)

Gaggle of goals in game 'gainst Oliverry!

The ice sure ain't slow this time.

The Cassowaries opened their campaign against another former champion in the tough division whose name they can't pronounce. The smaller rinks saw the puck flying around the baords and, more often than not, into the nets in a 5-5 draw against Oliverry.

"Wow," said Sister Hale Maria, the Cassowary coach more used to a nice football-like 2-0 score. "I mean, wow. 5-5. That's ... wow. Back home, our scoreboards only go up to 4."

I know this is annoying... but can someone please post standings for me to work with for the rest of the tournement?

ooc: And it is agreat pleasure to welcome back, if memory serves, the only team worse than Tanah Burung in the first two Cherry Cups. ;)

ooc: Yep, that's me! Good ole Coach McGurk. (>.<)

Its MUSHROOM KINGSHIP to youMushroom Wingtips? What are Mushroom Wingtips? Some kind of a shoe?


;)

Its MUSHROOM KINGSHIP to you

:headbang:
Dang! I could have sworn I read Kingdom last night! Many apologies.
(And I wholly understand - you wouldn't believe some of the spellings I've seen of my own name.)

Kericia Seagulls Roster-

Forwards:
#8 Gary Bowman - 6'2 200 lbs.
#11 Jocelyn Dubord - 6'0 195 lbs.
#14 Sean Kotary - 6'1 190 lbs.
#16 C.J. Thompson - 6'0 190 lbs.
#17 Paul Perrier - 6'2 200 lbs.
#18 Andrew Hogan - 6'0 160 lbs.
#15 Brian Jones - 6'0 185 lbs.
#13 Sean Joyce - 6'2 170 lbs.
#21 Eric Smith - 5'11 160 lbs.
#14 Scott Irwin - 5'10 175 lbs.
#20 Ryan Woodward - 5'11 180 lbs.
#9 John Duco - 5'10 180 lbs.

Goalies:
#1 Frank Soranno - 5'8 175 lbs.
#2 Brett Leonhardt - 6'7 190 lbs.
#33 Ryan Scott - 5'10 185 lbs.

Defense:
#21 Brian Gent - 6'1 210 lbs.
#3 Mark Strzoda - 5'11 230 lbs.
#5 Justin Perron - 6'2 225 lbs.
#23 Tyler Rivers - 6'1 200 lbs.
#22 Brian McCrobie - 6'0 180 lbs.
#19 Nick Miles - 5'11 165 lbs.
#4 Doug Parkhurst - 6'4 195 lbs.
#10 John Harpst - 6'2 225 lbs.
#27 Joe Burns - 6' 155 lbs.

Coaches:
Mark Fierro - Head Coach
Ed Gosek - Asst. Coach
Ted Beers - Asst. Coach

The Blessed Restraint hockey players, recently defeated by Hockey Canada, are not done in this tournament yet.

Captain and Left Wing Lance Thompson says "we may be down, but we're not out. we will continue to fight with the trademark finesse and speed of our country. Millions of people are watching us at home, and we dont want to disappoint."

Goalie Charlie Fang says "We got beaten pretty badly on the boards, but I have confidence in our ability to regroup and win the next one. We need to strengthen our defense, because even though I made 40 saves, they still got a few shots by me."

"We're going to show the world what Blessed Restraint is made of, and upstage that damn soccer team. Bums already won."

The Blessed Restraint hockey players, recently defeated by Hockey Canada, are not done in this tournament yet.

Captain and Left Wing Lance Thompson says "we may be down, but we're not out. we will continue to fight with the trademark finesse and speed of our country. Millions of people are watching us at home, and we dont want to disappoint."

Goalie Charlie Fang says "We got beaten pretty badly on the boards, but I have confidence in our ability to regroup and win the next one. We need to strengthen our defense, because even though I made 40 saves, they still got a few shots by me."

"We're going to show the world what Blessed Restraint is made of, and upstage that damn soccer team. Bums already won."

OOC: LOL, you've got 6 more games before you're out

Matchday 2 Scores:

Revuocnav Division:

Squornshelous- 2
Fmjphoenix- 3

Kalaallit Nunaat- 4
Mercaenaria- 0

Liverpool England- 3
Very Angry Rabbits- 3

Tonissia- 1
Formal Dances- 5

Xafilah Division:

Robotopolis- 0
Fimble loving peoples- 1

Iansisle- 2
Hockey Canada- 2

Blessed Restraint- 3
The Mushroom Kingship- 1

Daistallia 2104- 2
Lovisa- 5

Kebewoys Division:

The Gulf States- 2
Tanah Burung- 7

Oliverry- 5
Vtorbetin- 0

Starblaydia- 2
Rittia- 2

Corneliu- 4
Harlesburg- 0

Insert Name Here Division:

Druida- 1
Kericia- 3

Vilita- 5
Krytenia- 3

Spruitland- 0
Kassyyk- 0

Chicanada- 6
Euroslavia- 3

SportsNet: Well matchday 2 provided good games (no thanks to Iansisle tying me :mad: ) making groups seem a bit more spaced out. Fmjphoenix helped the Ferrets' losing streak by kicking it off. The Iceberg keeps on sinking teams- Mercaenaria knows that. LE and VAR settle for 3 goal each, and Formal Dances proves why they're emerging as a power in hockey beating Tonissia.

FLP managed to squeak out a win against the defending champs. The Gulls and host Flyers both tied 2-2 causing massive riots in the streets where the tournement is not being played. Blessed Restraint must be blessed beating Mushroom Kingship (spelled it right eh?). Lovisia regains themselves beating Daistallia 2014.

Tanah Burung- Cassowaries that show no mercy, especially when it came to The Gulf States. Oliverry shuts out the "Whipping boys" of the Kebewoys Division. Starblaydia chokes in an attempted encore of matchday 1 tying Rittia. Corneliu comes back from their loss with a big win.

Kericia beats Druida in a game where the score seemed like a rout with all the shots. Vilita keeps on winning as Krytenia falls victim to them. Spruitland and Kassyyk play to a game full of donuts. Chicanada keeps the 6-goal games coming with a win over Euroslavia.

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y197/Spruitland/sportsgazette.jpg


Ice Bunnies play donut game

Spruitland – Kassyyk: 0 – 0

Excessive partying after their first match victory, with copious amounts of alcohol and marijuana, had left the Ice Bunnies with a slight hangover and a serious case of the munchies. The players held a vote and the large majority wanted to order pizza, but coach Coach exercised his veto right, arguing that pizza so close to the match against Kassyyk would not have the best influence on the team’s performance. He suggested a light snack, something like, oh, donuts perhaps?

After a big argument about who was to order the donuts, back-up goalie Julien Karoot was selected for that task. However, since Karoot is suffering from a moderate case of Altzheimer’s disease, 17 players independently decided to play it safe and place the order themselves. Unfortunately, Karoot did not forget to place the order – in fact, he forgot that he had already placed the order, and ordered again. And then again. And then yet again. And then a few hundred times more.

Six 18-wheelers delivered the orders right before the game, and the ice rink was the only area big enough to put them all. This made playing an ice hockey game rather difficult though, so coach Coach came up with an impromptu variant, agreed upon by the Kassyk players. One hockey puck was hidden somewhere in the meter thick layer of donuts on the ice, and whoever found it first would win the game by default.

Nobody did end up finding the puck, so a 0 – 0 was agreed upon, but a lot of fun, icing sugar, cholesterol and indigestion was had by all.

There was great celebration and dancing in the streets of Ozella today as the people of Rittia rejoiced over a tie with #2 Starblaydia. Coach Manzanero was mobbed by the small but rabid contingent of Rittian hockey fans in attendance after the game. The chants of "RIT-TIA! RIT-TIA!" echoed in the streets in front of the team hotel for more than three hours in the biting cold until police arrived to send everyone home. The team was elated, and champagne flowed freely in the hotel rooms for several hours afterward. The game was expected to be a humiliating defeat.

It started off slow, with a defensive slugging match making the first period both scoreless and nearly shotless. Something must have happened in the locker room, however, as the second period opened with each team scoring in the first ten minutes. Starblaydia struck first, with one of their forwards getting an unstoppable wraparound goal around Rittia goalie Javier Sanden. Starblaydia then continued to pressure, taking a lot of shots and having an overall good offensive run. However, they clearly lost perspective during this time, and Rittian left winger Theo Robicheaux got a huge breakaway on Starblaydia. He went left, faked right, and shot into the top left corner of the goal to tie the game just before the midway mark. The period ended with no further scoring as each team made few solid attempts to put the puck into the back of the net. The third period opened badly, as a Starblaydia forward got a laserlike slapshot into the corner of the goal. The disaster continued, several minutes later, as Robicheaux was cross-checked nastily into the boards and injured. The extent of the injury has not yet been determined, but Manzanero filled Robicheaux's hole in the roster for the remainder of the game with Youth Leagues sensation Ken Throckmorton. Rittia went on the powerplay for the cross-check, and scored a minute later as Throckmorton got a picturesque five-hole slapper to light up the lamp and keep Rittia's hopes alive. The game then continued to be a stalemate until Rittia defenders Rafael Gantz and Reggie Wasilewski (brother of forward Nelson Wasilewski) were called for penalties in the final minutes, giving Starblaydia a two-man advantage. However, Rittia held on for the closing minutes, forcing the game into overtime. Overtime was, like regulation, low on shooting and high on checking. Each squad had a powerplay but was unable to force one in, and the game ended in a tie, putting Rittia's record in group play to 1-0-1.

Coach Manzanero talked to us about the game after he escaped the mob of fans. "This is a really big triumph for out team. I just didn't expect us to fare this well against such a high-ranked team. We played sharp, we shot sharp, we skated sharp, and it paid off. In order to equalize against better squads, we've been playing a real tactical style of hockey, executing quick, sharp plays to force them to play reactive defense instead of trying to force a turnover. That's a benefit of having our players drawn from the OAHL. With scoring not allowed by defenders, our forwards and our defense are each a little better at what they do than most players in such small leagues. We really worked on our passing when we practiced for the Cup, and it's paid off. Against Corneliu, we completed something like 85% of our passes, and against Starblaydia, something around 72%. Not a good number, but good considering we're playing against the #2 team. They were passing around that level too. I'm really proud of our defense. They got this game for us. They broke up so many plays and blocked so many shots. It was really superhuman. I'm also really happy with how Kenny (Throckmorton) played tonight. I thought he'd have a tough first game, this being his first time playing against such a sharp team, and his first big game outside the Youth Leagues, but he goes up and scores! I'm really proud of him. Theo (Robicheaux)'s injury is real unfortunate. I haven't heard yet from the doctors how bad it is. I'm hoping he'll be able to rejoin us in a game or two. It didn't seem bad, but he just doesn't have the physique to get hurt and come back real fast. He doesn't heal quick. That's why his OAHL stats seem so normal for someone everyone loves to rave about so much. He doesn't get much playing time. If he wasn't so prone to injury, he'd be the best player on the team, no doubt about it. He's a killer offensive player, and he's good on defense too. Hell of a shooter."

Stats:

Team: 2 GF, 2 GA, GFA 2, GAA 1.5; 1-0-1

Individual (Game):
Theo Robicheaux 1 G, 0 A, 1 pts
Ken Throckmorton 1 G, 0 A, 1 pts
John Lubinsky 0 G, 1 A, 1 pts
Cody Briski 0 G, 1 A, 1 pts

Javier Sanden 17 SV, 2 GA, SV% 89.5

Individual (Cup):

Nelson Wasilewski 1 G, 1 A, 2 pts
John Lubinsky 0 G, 2 A, 2 pts
Kel Kranfeldt 1 G, 0 A, 1 pts
Theo Robicheaux 1 G, 0 A, 1 pts
Ken Throckmorton 1 G, 0 A, 1 pts
Cody Briski 0 G, 1 A, 1 pts

Javier Sanden 59 SV, 3 GA, GAA 1.5, SV% 95.2

OOC: With Apologies to Messrs Taylor, Deacon, May, and Bursara (deceased).

Coach Mikkonen, here being interviewed by KBS anchorman Gary Terzza before the Aces' third CCXIII match.

GT: So, two defeats, how are you taking this cup so far?

CM: Of course we're under pressure, but we need to play the game as we always do and make that breakthru in Game Three. The miracle can still happen, and I think the team will all agree that reaching the knockout stages would be heaven for everyone concerned.

GT: And what would you say to reports your job is under threat?

CM: I'm going slightly mad at these reports, but it's a hard life when the team isn't going well. Much as i'd like to be the invisible man in this squad, it's impossible to hide from the media, and the show must go on. Now, I'm here to make sure we do our job, and I want to break free of the shackles put on me by our defeats. I can't stand here and wait for the hammer to fall.

GT: Any changes in tactics?

CM: It's time to dispense with the flash stuff. We have to make sure another one bites the dust rather than us. We may have to put ourselves on the line and go headlong into our next game, but who wants to live forever?

GT: And how's the team morale?

CM: Well, two L's on the trot is gonna dent anyone's pride, but the cameraderie in this camp is incredible, it's a kind of magic to get guys to gel so well. They play with one vision - to succeed, and OK, there have been some drunken "incidents", but all innuendo aside, friends will be friends if you know what I mean.

GT: And what do you say to the tabloids who have put the Aces, well, let's just say two cards down in the deck.

CM: (laughs) Queens, you mean? Killer queens, more like. I want it all from this team, to win the title and say that WE are the champions. And hopefully, we can make the naysayers in the papers and on TV and radio, ga-ga about these guys.

GT: Coach Mikkonen, thank you.

That's More Like It

Ferrets lose to 22nd seed Fmjphoenix

Despite an uncharacteristic showing in game one. The Squornshelan Hockey Team is back to their old tricks now, with a 2-3 defeat at the hands of Fmjphoenix. Due to the unexpected result of the last game, no Squornshelan fans attended this one, and the team was able to concentrate more without the slightly confused cheering they faced in Game 1. Once again, the Ferrets lead after 2 periods, but this time, they remembered to only score 2 goals. In the third, they once again gave up two goals, which was enough to lose this time. Without going to overtime there was no chance of another freak win. Also instrumental in this loss, Krog Dugsk and Wet Biscuit Macglee were back to their normal selves, after a paltry 4 and 6 penalty minutes respectively in game one. This game, Krog and Wet Biscuit spent more time in the sin bin than on the ice, logging 17 minutes each. When questioned by foreign reporters about the wisdom of keeping the defensive duo on the national team, Squornshelan Ice Hockey Association Commsissioner Alvin Baily said, "Well, we took a poll last cup, and all three of our fans in regular attendance said they mainly came to watch Krog and Wet Biscuit. We don't want to lose their support."

OOC: OW OW FUCK I STUBBED MY TOE

Robotopolis Sun-Times
Now with meat AND potatoes!

Bisons made nearly extinct!
Synthos destroy Lovsia 6-1.

The Synthos have started the 13th Cherry Cup exactly the way they ended the 12th: Complete and total domination! Just like their 5-1 destruction of the Iceburgs, the Synthos have put themselves on a fast track to a championship with a resounding crushing of the Lovsian Polish Bisons with a 6-1 blowout.

You knew the Bisons were done for when starting center Shadow Man was able to sakte around the Lovsian defense with ease and drill a goal into the upper-right corner of the net about two minutes in. This must of sparked a sudden surge of playin skill as the Bisons were able to actually put a puck past goalie Blizzard Man late in the first, after a hard-fought battle between both sides. But this just ticked the Synthos off. Since there wasn't much time left in the period, the Synthos just decided to rough the Bisons up in preperation for the 2nd period. And Rouch up they did, slaming the Bisons into the boards as many times as possible in the final muntes of the 1st.

And then it went all to hell fo the Bisons in the 2nd peroid, as the Sytnhos went all out with attacks on goal. Mixing up fakes, sudden passes, and general taunting, the Synthos were able to get in 3 goals in the period. 1st Line Leftwingsman Elec Man scored off a one-timer from RW Ice Man, 3rd Line Center Gemini Man was able to fake out the goalie with his 'double vision' technique and slam it into the net, and 2nd Line center Search Man was able to power his was to a goal, knocking defenseman out of his way.

With the game virtually in the bag, the SYnthos decided just ot rub the defeat in the Lovisan's faces, scoring twice more in the 3rd Period. TO add insult to injury, both goals were scored by defensemen. Staring Defenseman Frost Man, after forcing a Lovsian player who had managed to get his stick on the punk through the glass, Simply skated down the rink, and with a little distraction by Search Man, was able to power the puck past the goalie. Napalm Man followed this up with a goal of his own, after getting the puck to the Lovsian end of the ice and blowing the goalie away with a 5-missle concussive blast.

And so the game ended in a 6-1 blowout, putting the Synthos on the fast track to defending their title and making Cherry Cup history. But can they hold out in a division with teams like Iansisle, FLP, and Hockey Canada? Experts say yes.

"Okay...call the doctor and get him to remove this curse."

"Oh, so you believe in them now, then?"

"Look, ever since that last call every part of my anatomy has been growing bigger. There's only one area where that's a good thing, but it's not doing my trousers any favours! Now call him!"

"Okay."

*calls doctor*

"Hello doctor...yes, it's us again...would you kindly remove this curse?...well he's taking up rather a lot of departmental space now...you can't?...oh...so he just has to do that, and everything will be fine?...okay, I'll tell him...thank you doctor..."

*hangs up*

"What did he say?"

"He said he can't lift the cure - you have to do it."

"Fine, but how?"

"You have to ride a pregnant cow over a cliff. If you survive, the curse will be lifted. However, if the cow dies, the curse reverses and everything becomes smaller until you eventually disappear in a purple puff of smoke."

"Hmmm...sounds risky."

"Yes."

"We'll deal with it later. In the meantime, how did we do in our last game?"

"We lost 5-0 to Oliverry."

"Those Canadians really do have something against us, don't they?"

"Yes, they put some scaffolding up around the goal and said that emergency repair work had to be done, so we couldn't score."

"What happened when we changed ends?"

"They moved the scaffolding to the other goal."

"Those Canadians are the most dastardly dastards I ever saw."

"Is dastard even a word?"

"Sure it is - they needed something to rhyme with bastard, didn't they?"

"They also called us the whipping boys of the group."

"Yes...only because they wanted us to be though. I wonder why they hate us so much..."

"Maybe it's because you put a stink bomb in the embassy toilets."

"Maybe...or maybe they're preparing to invade us...after all, we're in the same region."

"Maybe they think we're going to surpass them in terms of footballing prowess, and thus they won't be the number one team in Lancre anymore, so they're trying to make us look bad now in order to tarnish our reputation later on."

"Yes, that has to be it! Of course, they weren't the number one team to begin with...but that's a minor detail. It sounds likely...the most likely option I've heard anyway. Well done!"

"Thank you, sir."

"Now the question is what we're going to do about it..."

"More stink bombs?"

"No, that's childish. I know - shaving cream on all embassy desks!"

"Isn't this going to start a petty practical joke war?"

"Yes..and?"

"Well...wouldn't it be more satisfying to gain on them bit by bit, eventually overtake them, and then beat them at everything?"

"Hmmm...I suppose that would be satisfying...we'll make that our long term strategy. Shaving cream will remain the short term - okay?"

"Yes sir."

"Now, where the hell are we going to get a pregnant cow?"

OOC: LOL, you've got 6 more games before you're out

So you've already decided who's in and who's out then? ;)

OOC: As per our threat in the signup thread:
We hearby curse Lovisa with the Coach McGurk Curse! Your coach has been traded (in spirit) with Coach McGurk, and you will suffer an eternal loosing streak!
:)
Best of wishes!

IC:
Dateline Hockey Canada
Hockey fans accross Daistallia cursed Coach Goldenes after the second game of the Cherry Cup was a loss.

-------------------------------------------------

Dateline Ti City
A moderately large crowd has formed in front of the local Hockey Canada [insert name of business here], protesting the "insult to our national honor". The protesters are urging a boycot of all Hockey Canada products

-------------------------------------------------

Dateline Ti City
A local hockey fan club has mailed a small portion of the ashes of the late Coach McGurk to the Lovisa hockey team in Hockey Canada. Bon Dae, a spokesman, said that this represented the teams threat to "trade Coach McGurk to any team who beat them", a threat made prior to the start of the current Cherry Cup tournament.

Kericia Cruises to Victory Over Druida 3-1

KNS
May 28 05

Kericia earned their first victory in Cherry Cup XIII with a dominating win over 20th ranked Druida. Forward CJ Thompson took 9 shots, scoring on two of them. After goalie Brett Leonhardt's dismal start in game 1, he had a shutout going through two periods. After Thompson's second goal to make it 3-0, Kericia coach Mark Fierro put backup goalie Frank Soranno in to seal the deal. However, Soranno would leave halfway through the third after straining his right shoulder.

Harlesburg Jarlsburg?
Corneliu-4 Harlesburg-0

After a tense and worrying time in the first game for Harlesburg where they managed to scrap out a win things took a turn for the worse as Harlesburg went on to lose to lower ranked team Corneliu.

But these rankings belie the true force of Corneliu a nation Harlesburg has played previously and had fierce battles with.
Although not of an Epic scale these two teams always come to play.

Well that was normally the case until last night when HArlesburg was embarrased 4-0 something even this young Harlesburg team has really seen.

Captain(add name here) said "Its painful its like the way we played last time as if we didnt bother to post er i mean take shots yeah.... we know we have the ability and we have proven it just tonight we didnt click."

Some people have even gone as far as to call this Harlesburg Blades Team Cheeses when asked what they meant the reply was from Barney Bambareno.

"Its simple you see these guys arent Harlesburg its Jarlsburg to my eyes and they stink just as bad,.. and Blades please ive got a rusty shaver that does a better job."

Stron words from Harlesburgs Italien community more noted for Wife beating than Sports Commentary.

Perhaps Harlesburg can preform better on their next outing.

Tie with Iansisle stirs comments in Hockey Canada.
Gulls should've froze in game against Flyers

The team was hitting hard and scoring big but couldn't find a way to beat Iansisle yesterday in Xafilah (Halifax spelled backwards for those wondering, also Revuocnav) Division action. Kyle Thomas scored twice early in the first to give the Flyers a 2-0 lead. Both on his signature move of his famous deke. The Flyers hit hard to defend their lead but came up short when Ashlee Langdon scored by accident while shooting his laser in Pete Cugno's direction.

The Flyers up 2-1 at the 2nd intermission added suspense to the action as Mike Bossy (no relation to the REAL one) missed a breakaway with 3:42 left in the game. The Gulls pulling their goalie in the last minute worked as Langdon scored again when the laser actually melted several spots on the ice. There was some debate about melting the ice seeing how it was clearly kept at a -76 degrees Celcius all tournement. The debate over Langdon's laser proved awkward as the Gulls were awarded the goal.

A last minute effort by Kyle Thomas and Tyler Kosumovic wasn't enough as Kosumovic hit the crossbar on a one-timer pass from Thomas. Now that the Flyers will play teams like FLP, Robotopolis and Lovisa- we hope that they'll triumph in the rest of the round-robin games.

OOC: Standings made on a chart off-computer have been made and are being updated after every game. After matchday 4 I'll post them for all to see.

*tag*

I had a RP, lost it. I'll do another one later.

Harlesburg Hopeful
Harlesburg look for win
After a disapointing loss in the previous game Harlesburg let set to atone for it by besting (Enter Oposition Here) a team that they know more than a little about after they (Have played them before or have watched many hours of video or both video and played).

As Harlesburg Captain (Enter player name here)said in the Pregame Interview"Yes Enter Team name hereare an Interesting team with mant players to be wareful of including (Enter player name here) and (Enter player name here) but one must really look out for their dashing Wingman (Enter player name here) who we feel has abit of extra pace...We do want to lock him down early on."

Statistics would suggest otherwise with them pointing to a (Enter Oposition Here) team packed with a strong centre in the name of (Enter player name here).

Things look more congested after 2 rounds of the pool play but that shouldnt be surprising with virtually everyone playing two games and winning one each.Perhaps a lead will open up between the winners and the losers after this next set of matches or perhaps one wont.

Harlesburg have scored 5 goals over 2 games but were shut out last game more needs to be done up front but more importantly the defence needs tightening with it apearing an inability to clear looses pucks has resulted in 4 of the 8 goals scored against Harlesburg.It has also been noted Goal Tender (Enter player name here)is a bitout of touch and should be replaced before he bleeds o many second chances.
Tonights game will be interesting to watch.

Druida fan #1: "Well, it hasn't gone too great this time. Again."

Druida fan #2: "A draw and a loss from our first two games. Just as dire as usual, actually."

Druida fan #1: "Well, at least you can say one thing about this Cherry Cup."

Druida fan #2: "What's that?"

Druida fan #1: "Well, it's in a place where hockey means just about everything."

Druida fan #2: "Yeah, that's true."

Druida fan #1: "Y'know, sometimes I pity why the same can't be said for Druida."

Druida fan #2: "Well, no-one knows that hockey actually exists back home. They all think it's still played on grass."

Druida fan #1: "I hate their backward thinking. Can't we just stay here?"

Druida fan #2: "Well, we'd have to apply to the government of Hockey Canada, get all the legal stuff out the way with... but yeah, I suppose we could."

Commentator1:Well Chris their seems to be a bit of a problem with the Zamboni.
Commentator2:Yeah its melting the ice too quickly theyve got the heat settings wrong.
Commentator1:someoine should stop him.
Commentator:yeah the ice might turn into a torrent of water.
Commentator1:Heay thats not such a bad idea lets send te Ice Maidens out 'te Finest Cherleaders on Ice'!
Commentator2:Good Idea Dick!
...... ..

Matchday 3:

Revuocnav Division:

Squornshelous- 4
Mercaenaria- 1

Kalaallit Nunaat- 1
Very Angry Rabbits- 2

Liverpool England- 0
Tonissia- 5

Fmjphoenix- 3
Formal Dances- 2

Xafilah Division:

Robotopolis- 4
Hockey Canada- 4

Iansisle- 5 (OT)
The Mushroom Kingship- 4

Blessed Restraint- 1
Daistallia 2104 - 0

Fimble Loving Peoples- 3
Lovisa- 4

Kebewoys Division:

The Gulf States- 1
Vtorbetin- 3

Oliverry- 6
Rittia- 2

Starblaydia- 6
Corneliu- 3

Tanah Burung- 7
Harlesburg- 5

Insert Name Here Division:

Druida- 4
Krytenia- 2

Vilita- 5
Kassyyk- 2

Spruitland- 9
Chicanada- 0

Kericia- 1
Euroslavia- 3

SportsNet: 9 to 0??? What??? Well, it's time for sportsnet to review today's mishaps and Hockey Canada's near triumph. Ferrets keep winning (we you you tried to lose, but you're so bad you're good). VAR taps a weak spot on the iceberg to beat them. Tonnisia comes out of the closet (hockey one) to hammer LE. Fmjphoenix edges Formal Dances in a nailbiter.

Synthos and Flyers both get 4 each proving robots can take the cold- despite their antifreeze freezing up. Iansisle dodges a bullet beating Mushroom Kingship in OT. Blessed Restraint walks away with the easy win. The Bisons became yaks or something standing the cold and shrinkage over FLP.

Vtorbetin can sell Hockey Canadian products (like ice) now that they have a win. Oliverry seems like the USSR of the 60's and 70's crushing everyone in their path. Starblaydia notches yet another win. Cassowaries keep the scoring parade alive with a 7 goal win.

Druida can happily move to Hockey Canada as long as they don't beat HC like they did against Krytenia. Vilita handles Kassyyk effecively. I thought there was something wrong with the screen or my eyes when I saw 9-0 for Spruitland over Chicanada- Fear the Ice Bunnies. Euroslavia gets their win over Kericia.

Blades win two in a row???? Unheard of!

With two narrow victories over Squornshelous and Formal Dances, the Blades are looking like a good hockey team. Even though it is not a major sport in Fmjphoenix, it is beginning to take notice as they win. While the reports have not come through with who have scored for the Blades, it is known that they were behind 2-1 with 5 minutes left in the third period, but managed to come back and take the lead with only 1 minute remaining. We will post the scorers later, but fans across Fmjphoenix are in shock and rejoice at the same time.

Blades lose two in a row???? Unheard of!
:p

:P
Blah bklah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Take that FMJPhoenix ....

Blades score two in a row???? Unheard of!

Okay, so we're not actually the Blades, but we thought we'd continue the trend.

Yes, unbelievably the Vtorbetites did not only score, but they beat The Gulf States in a mediocrely entertaining match.

After conceding thirteen goals in their first two games, the team were due a bit of luck, and that's exactly what they got in this game. The GS keeper failed to stop a puck travelling at only one meter per second from crossing his line after just five minutes. Never mind, those GS players just went down the other end and equalised within a few seconds.

The rest of the game was spent with the Vtorbetites struggling to keep the score down and the Gulf States struggling to not make it look too easy for them. It was therefore quite a surprise when Vtorbetin took the lead with just three minutes left, a perfectly placed puck being delivered into the net. Before Vtorbetin could defend the puck was in the net again...only this time, it was in the right net! Somehow Vtorbetin had scored a third, and it was just as this dawned on the players that the klaxon went, accompanied with mutters of annoyance from the Hockey Canadian crowd.

And so, Vtorbetin gets its first, and undoubtedly its last, points in Cherry Cup 13. With only four games left before...something happens, it's just a matter of how many places off the bottom they finish.

Ummmm's the word for Harlesburg as they cannot hear anything but the annoying ummmmmm

The Department Of Keeping Not So Important Threats Made By The Fmjphoenix Blades Or Any Other Fmjphoenix Sports Team are keeping true to their word. The DOKNSITMBTFBOAOFST has began sending tons of umm-bots into Harlesburg on the acount of the statement of "blah". Here was a report.

"We know not of this word, blah. How can we take that which we do not know. But we have given out umms out. Thanks to the DOKNSITMBTFBOAOFST, millions of our annoying umm-bots are uttering the word ummmmm all over Harlesburg. UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM" Said the Head of the DOKNSITMBTFBOAOFST.

:P

Blades score two in a row???? Unheard of!
Okay, so we're not actually the Blades, but we thought we'd continue the trend.
-snip-
(OOC)Ha
Blades score two in a row???? Unheard of!
With one massive lose to Corneliu and a narrow yet high scoring loss to Tanah Burung, the Blades are looking like a pathetic hockey team. Even though it is a major sport in Harlesburg, it is beginning to look like a debacile as people notice how they find new ways to lose.

While the reports have not come through with who have scored for the Blades, it is known that they were behind 4-6 with 5 minutes left in the third period, but managed to come back and take a goal off Tanah Burung's lead with only 1 minute remaining.

But then tragedy struck after keeping Goaltender (Add player name here) off the ice after pulling him earlier the Tanah Burung team quickly scored and had extended their lead to a unbeatable 7-5 We will post the scorers later, but fans across Harlesburg are in shock and more shock at the same time.

'Well it was simple we let them get to big a lead early on and were playing catchup football pretty much from the start.'

On asked why he said Catchup football Head Coach (add Coaches name here) replied 'isnt it a figure of speech?'
'we had to make that call 2 loses would be a painful position to be in and now we know how it feels we need to find a way to rectify this campaign and get it back on track.
We started with so much promise and now were in a hole that will or may take some time to get out of,this has been dubbed the pool of Death and Indeed it seems like that!Sure i always thought Micheal Barrymore would keep that distinction but it dosent look to flash for us.'

"Okay, we've got the pregnant cow and we've got the cliff. Now, how do we make sure the cow doesn't die?"

"Maybe we could put some kind of big foam thing at the foot of the cliffs."

"How would that help?"

"Well, if you land the cow on the big foam thing, then chances are she won't die."

"Oh...that's clever! But where are we going to get a big foam thing from?"

"I...don't know."

"Hmmm...oh well, we'll just have to risk it?"

"You really want to risk your life for this?"

"Correction: the cow's life!"

"But if the cow dies, it's almost certain that you will too."

"...bugger. Nope, we just have to get on with it."

"Okay."

"How do you start this thing?"

"The cow, you mean?"

"Yes."

"I don't know...give it a kick?"

"That's cruel! I'll just use this cattle prod instead."

*prods cow*

*cow jumps over cliff*

"Aaaaaggggggggghhhhhhhhh!"

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y197/Spruitland/sportsgazette.jpg


Spruitland – Chicanada: 9 – 0 !!

You’d think the Kodiaks were playing without a goalie

The Spruitland Ice Bunnies continue to shock the world of hockey by pulling off the biggest win of the tournament, doing one better than Starblaydia’s 8-0 slaughter of Vtorbetin on opening night. The unranked Bunnies, of which only two players had worn skates before the start of the first match, took down 11th ranked Chicanada with surprising ease and are still undefeated after three games.

Key to the Ice Bunnies’ success is an elaborate maneuver performed by defender Frank Zandt, lefty Bengt Jonson and center Aren Kierstedt: the TripleSandwich (3SW), highly effective in eliminating the opponents’ goalies. The move was successfully introduced in the opening game against Krytenia and was used three times against Chicanada in the first period, to leave the Kodiaks goalie-less for more than two thirds of the game.

“Works like a charm,” 255 pound Frank Zandt explains. “I head straight for the goalie at full speed, grinning like a mad man. That usually gets their attention, so Bengt and Aren can come up from the sides undetected. The trick is to time it just right. Ideally, they wanna sandwich him half a second before I deliver the finishing blow. If I get my stick inthere where it matters, trust me, that guy ain’t getting up any time soon.”

The TripleSandwich is not without risk though, as the maneuver usually results in several penalty minutes. But even if the opponents manage to score a few powerplay goals, the long term benefits are substantial.

As it turned out, the Ice Bunnies had very little trouble neutralizing Chicanada’s power play, and after they had executed another 3SW to take out the Kodiaks’ third goalie late in the first period, it was their turn to party.

The final score was a marvelous 9-0, with goals from – deep breath – Pär Lange (2), Louis Dardenne (2), Marino Poirot, Johan Bronkhorst, Hadar Vibbard, Aren Kierstedt and Karl Mellick. After two wins and a draw, coach Coach is quietly dreaming of surviving the group stage, against all expectations.

“I don’t know what our position in the group is,” Coach says. “The Hockey Canadians haven’t released a table yet, and I can’t be arsed to calculate one myself. But I’m pretty sure we’re not at the bottom, like we expected we would be.”

“It would definitely be nice to take that Cup home to Spruitland. I’m sure I can reserve a nice spot for it in my bar. It would be perfect to fill up with beer for birthday parties.”

ChicanadaSun
The coolest news...thing ever!

Kodiaks Call Shenangans!
Vanishing Act Not Likely Regadless of 9 goal "loss"

SOMEWHERE IN HOCKEY CANADA - So, the high flying Chicanandan National squad picked up a second victory, a 6-3 smackdown over well-respected Euroslavia giving them 12 goals and only gave up 4.

And they expect us to believe we were blown out by some rabbits?

Without Jaquee there to cuddle with, apparently the Kodiaks self-destructed in a 9-0 pounding to Spruitland. Of course, no one here believes that even if the Kodiaks lost (which is always likely) they would be pounded by a relative newcommer.

Press reports are sketchy but the CHL is not taking any chances, asking for Jaquee and Evann to depart from Commie Brazil early in order to decide what the hell is up in HCanada. Coach Marsha hasn't said anything yet, but there are concerns that the loss could kill the Kodiaks chances of advancement, especially as they had been the group leader based on GD.

In other, more scintilating news, H'kol has said it's too damn cold to wear anything less than a full body parka so don't expect any cleavage from the ladies of Page 4 during their next news report on Northern Television.

Current "Insert Name Here Division" Standings:
W L T GF GA GD Pts
Vilita 3 0 0 13 7 6 6
Spruitland 2 0 1 13 1 12 5
Chicanada 2 1 0 12 13 -1 4
Druida 1 1 1 8 8 0 3
Euroslavia 1 1 1 9 10 -1 3
Kericia 1 2 0 6 7 -1 2
Kassyyk 0 2 1 3 11 -8 1
Krytenia 0 3 0 6 13 -7 0

Projected Roster for Matchday 4

First Line:

Mashir Barazin C Colombo
Jerrad Los W Provincetown
Bastian Opei W Bishop HC
Ioan Luff D Star Point
Peris Alcazar D Rosa City
Mirel Kros G Atens

Reserves:

Tribecca York C Easten
Mordecai Lincoln C Crossing HC
Terrence Philton W Verde
Lin Fe W Mission HC
Karoli Uganzi W Provincetown
Blu Gondril W Livingston
Forrest Winston W HC Ashely
Harrison Klingstron W Provincetown
Quentin Sloven W West Coast HC
Derk Louve D HC Ashley
Sylvester Youden D Township
Finnen Elmeron D Saint Croix
Rodgeon Kittzenson D Cana HC
Gradan K'lzojo D Jaxx
Salan Ovedon D Verde
G Dumair Prada G Eoden
G Garen Wallase G Easten

(OOC: Yeah, I do call bull on the score but things happen)

The Gulf States - National Hockey Team (Peliceans)

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

The Gulf States hockey team has sunken to a new low. It seems like everytime the Peliceans play in a Cherry Cup lately, they struggle and embarass this country. It's hard to believe that in a territory that lives and breathes hockey, not only is baseball climbing in popularity - but the hockey players are getting blown out of the water in international competition.

In the 13th incarnation of the Cherry Cup, The Peliceans are currently 0-3. In none of the three games has the team played well. And only the diehards of the diehard fans still bother going out to catch the games in foreign countries. A few more will catch games when they are in The Gulf States. Toronto, which once was the centre of Peliceans fever, now doesn't care. The Blue Jays of TGS Baseball Association has taken the #1 spot for fan interest in the city.

One man we caught, wearing a Peliceans jersey on Yonge Street, would give some comments on the team's struggles. He, Roger Carter of Mississauga, claims he's one of the last of the superfans.

"It's a damn shame how this team is playing. Now the team doesn't even want to make press conferences. It's so pitiful. The team is 0-3 this year. Past half dozen cups now the Peliceans are saying they would be rebuilding. But seriously, how long is this process taking. We once was one of the best 3-4 hockey nations in the NS Universe. Now we're a laughingstock, we're getting pounced on by nations that only found hockey a few years ago. I'm tired of watching my nation's finest being pissed on by the world." said Carter.

The internal disgust with the team's play is evident. After the first game of the season, the team's General Manager and coaching staff admitted to not wanting to talk about the team to the press until they win a game. But even then, they were never making the front page of the sports sections in newspapers around Ontario or the rest of TGS Canada and the Protector.

One player, who wished to remain anonymous, quoted to the Toronto Star: "If we go this season without getting a victory, we may as well just commit suicide. Anyone involved in this team. Or move to Nunavut and live in hiding. It's pathetic how low this country has gone in it's hockey. Everyone's wearing Blue Jays jerseys. Sad when people won't come to Air Canada Centre and watch our games on the big screen, cheer on the team."

HArlesburg Prepare
TG to come no time...

Day later still no time....

Matchday 4:

Revuocnav Division:

Squornshelous- 2
Very Angry Rabbits- 5

Kalaallit Nunaat- 3
Tonissia- 0

Liverpool England- 1
Formal Dances- 4

Mercaenaria- 0
Fmjphoenix- 4

Xafilah Division:

Robotopolis- 1
The Mushroom Kingship- 1

Iansisle- 5
Daistallia 2104- 0

Blessed Restraint- 1
Lovisa- 2 (OT)

Hockey Canada- 5
Fimble loving peoples- 2

Kebewoys Division:

The Gulf States- 4
Rittia- 4

Oliverry- 3
Corneliu- 3

Starblaydia- 1
Harlesburg- 3

Vtorbetin- 3
Tanah Burung- 4 (OT)

Insert Name Here Division:

Druida- 2
Kassyyk- 0

Vilita- 1
Chicanada- 3

Spruitland- 5
Euroslavia- 3

Krytenia- 1
Kericia- 1

Sportsblurb, awards and standings coming as soon as RPs come.

This announcement is brought to you by the HBK. Oh dear.

0-1-3?

Right. We warned you...

WE SHALL COME DOWN UPON THEE, WITH GREAT VENGEANCE AND FURIOUS ANGER!

Meanwhile, in Hockey Canada...

Random person #1: "What's this, eh?"
Random person #2: "It's a basket of kittens, Greg, eh?"

Harlesburg Beat Starblaydia
keep chances alive

Tonight Harlesburg's Blades beat one of the well known teams of the Ice Hockey World Starblaydia even though many have a problem spelling the name seemingly getting the y tangled in the wrong place dosent stop them from being a good Hockey team.

Much was made of Starblaydia befor the Tournament commenced and how they would beat everyone that challenged them into a bloody pulp this apeared to be true until Starblaydia's finest came up against the Finest of Harlesburg,The Harlesburg Blades.

Harlesburg's people are a strong and pround people of around six foot in stature but this belies their true origins for they are of similar stock to those brave shire folk known as Hobbits!

With this realised the significance of the issue set in for many a horde of Dwarves versus a grouping of Hobbits an Epic battle was afoot one to challenge the chroniclers for all time to be held in the annuals of History for all eternity Harlesburg was to play Starblaydia.

As the too teams skated onto the ice and measured the opposing team up and more specifically their direct opposite a sense of all hell breaking lose came down onto the watching and waiting crowd.

The Puck dropped onto the ice and a flurry of sticks rushed at it to see who would gain the assendency and that vital first chance at scoring Harlesburg had won it and the puck was quickly tipped bact to be controlled by Harlesburg Wingman(Add player name here) who raced down the line to be met by two beasts best described as Kegs on Legs than as Hockey players.

Halserrubg Baet Starblaydia
Halburserg chances of remaining alive til the next matchday drastically reduced

Has anyone every told the Harlesburg team - players and staff alike - the stories of Throckmorton Alabaster? A certain, and rather foolish, Iansislander chap who has, since Cherry Cup 5, suffered multiple axe-wounds on a yearly basis?

Perhaps the time when he stole Starblaydia's Cherry Cup and was hospitalised with multiple axe-wounds? Or the time when he took a pair of scissors to a Dwarf's beard and was hospitalised with multiple axe-wounds? Or the time when he was hospitalised with multiple axe-wounds?

Get the picture?

Multiple. Axe. Wounds. Don't beat us again. Ever. "Ye fookin' bastids", as Coach Haztarr would say.

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y197/Spruitland/sportsgazette.jpg


Another game, another win

Spruitland – Euroslavia: 5 – 3

The Spruitland Ice Bunnies came to Hockey Canada expecting to lose. Expecting to lose heavily, even. To be utterly humiliated. It seemed like the right thing to do for a team of drunks and deadbeats from a mostly tropical nation.

But it hasn’t turned out that way so far. Deadbeats the Ice Bunnies may be, drunks they surely are, but losers they definitely are not. In fact, the Spruitland Ice Bunnies are still undefeated in their entire ice hockey career. Which, granted, has only been four games long, but still. After three wins and a draw, Spruitland now takes the lead in the Insert Name Here Division, ahead of several teams that are ranked much higher than them. Well, actually, ahead of teams that are all ranked higher than them.

The game against Euroslavia did not go quite as smoothly as the first three games though, as the Euroslavian goalkeepers were notably tougher than any the Ice Bunnies had come across so far. It took Zandt, Jonson and Kiersted several attempts – and more than several penalty minutes – before being able to use their TripleSandwich to full effect.

Euroslavia took the lead, scoring three times on power play, and for a while it looked like they would be able to hang on to it. But in the third period, Frank Zandt finally managed to make the end of his stick connect to the last reserve goalie’s weak spot. Vibbard (2), Poirot, Lange and Kirby scored the empty netters to bring the final score to 5-3.

Traditionally, the excessively decadent celebrations started right after the final buzzer, making it extremely hard for reporters to obtain any coherent comments after the match, though we did manage to speak a few words with Ludovic Robins. The Bunnies’ goalkeeper played without a blindfold for the first time in the tournament and wasn’t too pleased with the result, so he took a late start on the partying.

“What a crap game,” Robins said while tearing the dressing room apart in frustration. “I had only allowed one goal before today, and now this! This improved vision thing obviously isn’t working for me. I’m putting the blindfold back on tomorrow.”

"You know, I think our luck is on the turn."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, ever since the thing with the cow, I've been having really good luck. I found a twenty colugo note in the street, someone I really hate got run over by a bus, and the ice team are starting to do stuff right."

"I guess, sir."

"I mean, it's not every team that takes Tanah Burung to overtime. It's not every team that scores three goals against them. It's not every team that takes Tanah Burung to overtime."

"You already said that one."

"Well, I couldn't think of a third thing. Yes, my luck is definitely changing."

"And that wouldn't have anything to do with the rabbit's foot on you rdesk would it?"

"It's not a rabbit's foot! God, remember what happened last time VAR got pissed of...and that was just from bunny ears. If they thought I was cutting off rabbits' feet, they'd probably declare war or something."

"Those Very Angry Rabbits are so temperamental."

"Exactly. No, it's actually a hare's foot."

"But they're not lucky."

"Well they should be - they're twice as long as rabbit's feet, so they should contain twice the luck."

"I don't think that's how it works."

"Well it should be. Now, where are we in this table thingy?"

"Haven't a clue."

"What?"

"The Hockey Canadians haven't worked out how to make a table yet."

"Why, can't they add up?"

"It takes some a little longer than others to work out hot to program things like that."

"I suppose, but if it's not out soon, make one for me, okay?"

"Yes, sir."

"Now...what's the next order of business?"

"VAH are declaring war on you for cutting off a hare's foot."

"VAH?"

"Very Angry Hares."

"Damn."

OOC: What EXACTLY is the RP bonus, HC?

"You know, I think our luck is on the turn."...funny stuff removed to conserve space..."And that wouldn't have anything to do with the rabbit's foot on your desk would it?"

"It's not a rabbit's foot! God, remember what happened last time VAR got pissed of...and that was just from bunny ears. If they thought I was cutting off rabbits' feet, they'd probably declare war or something."

"Those Very Angry Rabbits are so temperamental."

"Exactly. No, it's actually a hare's foot."

"But they're not lucky."

"Well they should be - they're twice as long as rabbit's feet, so they should contain twice the luck."

"I don't think that's how it works."

"Well it should be. Now, where are we in this table thingy?"...other funny stuff removed to conserve even more space"What!"

"They have a Hares Foot, brother."

"...Has the Hare been hospitalized?"

"Of course. And we've had a prosthetic foot designed by Yves St Laurant. I've seen it. It's...well, I thought about having a foot replacement - you know, the toes on my left foot are...um...not well formed...and I have this tendancy to get the gout. So..."

"Don't be ridiculous, Ruppert! It's one thing to replace a Hares Foot that has sadly been coopted by these...these...Vtorbish Vterrorists. We must do all we can to help Vtictims of Vtorbish Vterrorism. But..."

"Well, Big Brother (pun, as always, intended), as you can plainly see, here I stand on the original equipment - plus cane. My gout is bothering me a bit today."

"Very well. Have we sent the Vtorbish Vteam an official protest?"

"Not as yet."

"Jamison, take a letter.

"Hungadunga, Hungadunga, Hungadunga, and McCormick. Gentlemen, Question Mark."...Read that back, Jamison."

"Hungadunga, Hungadunga, and McCormick. Gentlemen, Question Mark."

"Jamison, you left out a Hungadunga. The most important one. Never mind, he won't be there when they get the letter anyway. Leave him out, and put in a Windshield Wiper..."

*we leave the Old Grey Hare doing his Groucho Marx impression - not bad, but we've seen better - and move on to...be continued...*

Stahblygia Suffers Bout of retardeness
Harlesburg 3 Stahblygia 1

Never before has such an embarrasing thing happened to one of the supposed Elite teams in International Hockey no International Sport it is seldom that a World Number 2 is beaten and to be beaten by a team of misfits and Odds and Sods from the 5 corners of such a green nation as Harlesburg is beyond Fathom.

The Confederacy of Harlesburg is a massive, safe nation, renowned for its devotion to social welfare. Its compassionate, hard-working population of 1.694 billion have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, the Environment, and Education. The average income tax rate is 100%. The private sector is almost wholly made up of enterprising fourteen-year-old boys selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out.

Artists are pillars of society, guns are banned, citizens are encouraged to report friends, family members or co-workers who seem depressed to the government for "counselling", and gambling addicts regularly lose their families' nest eggs at Native Harlesburgite casinos. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Harlesburg's national animal is the Eagle, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the Dollar.

Harlesburg is ranked 1st in the region and 1,357th in the world for Most Compassionate Citizens.

Thats right many lush forests and only 3 of the 13 Realms of Harlesburg actually have any decent ice in their borders for more than 3 months of the year it is surprising they could do so well.

As Harlesburg is a fairly compassionate nation perhaps some of this goodwill could go towards those who were just dragged along the floor by these mighty Blades and help them up onto their feet after they help them pick up all their missing teeth.

Harlesburg Blades-3 Starblaydia Blahs-1

"Dose dumb bastids do know that t'only ice in Starblaydia comes from fridge-freezers, right?" Coach Haztarr asked his assistant, who was as confused as the rest of the Starblaydi staff.

"I dunno, Coach."

"And they did bother t'find oot that Starblaydia won Cherre Coop Five withoot knowing a blue line from a body check?"

"I dunno, Coach."

"Or how aboot that t'Dwarves are t'only players in Starblaydia who can play Hockey worth a damn?"

"I dunno, Coach."

"Should we get t'Dwavern Liberation Front tae blow some of their stuff up?"

"I dunno, Coach."

"Are ye gonnae say anythin' useful, laddie?" asked Haztarr.

"I.."

"Dunno Coach." Haztarr interrupted him. "Well that's reet grand, laddie. Young upstart lil' bastids, them Harlesburgians, dunno their history worth a damn. Not Dwarfish, are they?"

"No, Coach, they're not." The assistant said confidently. "Just us and Cockbill Street, as far as I know."

"Well that's grand, laddie."

Blades win again!!! Fmjphoenix plays hockey? Who knew?

With a four to nil thrashing of Mercaenaria, all of Fmjphoenix has forgotten about being shunned for hosting a Football World Cup and have glued themselves to the boob tube for hockey. This match marks the 3rd straight victory for the Blades, and their largest yet. Lead by a stellar defending by Breggan Voltlander and a four goal performence from Kieth Roneck lead the Blades into their best performence yet. With three wins and only one loss, they are on of the top teams in their group. What else lies in store for them? Perhaps more wins, the only way to find out is to keep watching. ummmmm..... yea!

OOC: What EXACTLY is the RP bonus, HC?

Obviously it's a writing thing. Why else would I get smacked with a 9-0 loss followed by a 3-1 victory over the never-rp'ing Vilita ;)

Anyways HC, you're doing a fab job with the hosting of the tourney!

AWARDS!!!
Special occasion due to the fact I never use blue.

Biggest Surprise: Spruitland 3-0-1-0

Biggest Disappointment: Robotopolis 1-1-1-0

Poster child for System Karela: Kalaallit Nunaat

Worst Landing by a Pilot: Robotopolis

Most likely to survive: Very Frozen Rabbits

Upset of the century: Harlesburg (3-1 over Starblaydia)

Most limbs frozen: 2 Mercaenaria and Krytenia

Proudly hosting the coldest Cherry Cup: Hockey Canada

Most support: The fans Yeah, we'll believe that

*The back of a white van, somewhere in Hockey Canada. Coach Peter Mikkonen is speaking to the HBK Chairman.*

CM: "Are the 'kittens' in place, Chairman?"

HBKC: "Three million baskets of six, distributed at random locations."

CM: "Excellent. Hit the button."

*The Chairman hits the button. At that moment, eighteen million microchips, in eighteen million small but very lifelike robotic cats are set off. The cats set about attacking their 'owners'. Coach and Chairman watch from TV monitors in the van.*

HBKC: "MWA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAA!"

*They chink their mugs of cocoa.*

MC: "To the Aces!"

HBKC: "To mad science!"

Angry Tanah Burung fans rampaged through the streets today, randomly hugging the shy and reticent Hockey Canadian locals.

"We demand an award!" they shouted. It didn't seem to matter what award it was. They wanted an award for something. "Award us!" they shrieked, as they kissed random people on the street. It was reported that the kissing caused the toques of three people to be dislodged, and one man reported his parka was "disheveled."

"Unless our demands are met, we will continue to commit public displays of affection here in Hockey Canada, no matter how uncomfortable it makes people," said Mau Mau, a spokesperson for the Polite Rioters. "We demand to be awarded. Our team's contributions should be recognized. I'm sure we've made priceless contributions to, well, to something anyway. We want an award, dammit!"

League of Superfans go on vacation, riot, arrested

Miami, FL...

A couple of The Gulf States citizens vacationing in Flocarga and Delmarva were arrested in Miami Beach. This comes after a bar fight, leaving two men injured. Dave Wallace of Saint Catharines, Ontario; Greg McKenzie of Halifax, Nova Scotia; and Miguel Sanchez of Miami were all arraigned on assault charges stemming from a fight at the First Shore Sports Bar on Route A1A.

Sanchez was instructing a bartender to change a television channel from the Peliceans game, the national hockey team of The Gulf States. That's when the two Canadian men stepped in. They argued over whether or not hockey was a cool sport, when Sanchez started to throw punches at McKenzie. 14 people got involved in the fight, most fled before the police arrived.

Since alcohol is banned in Flocarga and Delmarva, intoxication was not a factor. These three men will be arraigned in Dade County Superior Court on Tuesday. Any further arrests just prove how sad some people are, that they still root for a struggling hockey team.

(OOC or IC)-Whatever floats your boat. ;)
AWARDS!!!
Special occasion due to the fact I never use blue.
Upset of the century: Harlesburg (3-1 over Starblaydia)

Hmmm I think ill need some butter and salt for when i rub this in....
Ritta OTW
TB OTW

(IC)
Harlesburg In Pack
With Harlesburg seemingly having played the more top tier teams in this horrendous pool of death it is now up to them to slowly chip away at the foundations of the slight lead that has been built up by the top 3.

After a first round match up against so far luckless Gulf States which was a victory for Harlesburg's Blades 4-3 things took a turn for the worse after a loss to Corneliu 4, Harlesburg 0 and then Tanah Burung dealt out a warning to the Competition dealing with Harlesburg's finest in a high scoring matchup so convincingly 7-5 and after this latest game against #2 Ranking Starblaydia which Harlesburg won 3-1 after the sheer pace of Harlesburg's Wingmen completly exhausted those little Gnomes of Starblaydia.

Round One Results
The Gulf States- 3:Harlesburg- 4
Oliverry- 5:Tanah Burung- 5
Starblaydia- 8:Vtorbetin- 0
Corneliu- 1:Rittia- 2 (OT)
Round Two Results
The Gulf States- 2:Tanah Burung- 7
Oliverry- 5:Vtorbetin- 0
Starblaydia- 2:Rittia- 2
Corneliu- 4:Harlesburg- 0
Round Three Results
The Gulf States- 1:Vtorbetin- 3
Oliverry- 6:Rittia- 2
Starblaydia- 6:Corneliu- 3
Tanah Burung- 7:Harlesburg- 5
Round Four Results
The Gulf States- 4:Rittia- 4
Oliverry- 3:Corneliu- 3
Starblaydia- 1:Harlesburg- 3
Vtorbetin- 3:Tanah Burung- 4 (OT)

So as can be seen Harlesburg is left to play against Oliverry,Vtorbetin and Ritta in a so far undisclosed order who ever may come Harlesburg will be prepared!


P W L D GF GA P
Starblaydia 4 2 1 1 17 8 ?
Tanah Burung 4 3 0 1 23 15 ?
Oliverry 4 2 0 2 19 8 ?
Harlesburg 4 2 2 0 12 15 ?
Corneliu 4 1 2 1 11 11 ?
The Gulf States 4 0 3 1 10 18 ?
Rittia 4 1 1 2 10 13 ?
Vtorbetin 4 1 3 0 6 18 ?

The colours, Blanche! The colours!

"Where the h--- are they?!?!"

"Miami."

"Your what e?"

"No, boss - they're in Miami, Florida."

"What in the name of bloody blue blazes are they doing in Florida?!"

"They said they were cold, and just...went to Miami."

"When is their next game scheduled?"

"Oh - they said they'd be back for the next game."

"...How nice of them..."

"They just told Otto they were too, pardon my french, dam cold, and the team chartered a round trip flight to Miami."

"..."

"They're doin' ok, boss. Lookit the stats."

"What stats? Where are the stats?"

"...er...um...they were around here someplace."

"Well, Ruppert, you have once again lived up to your name. Listen to me very, very, very carefully, okay?"

"Sure, I'm listening."

"Carefully?"

"Uh...yes, I'm listening carefully."

"When they get back from Miami, have Otto do a few little things for me, alright?"

"Sure. What?"

"First, take away every dam last shred of currency that any of those freakin' Artic Hares have - any kind of currency at all! Got it?"

"...Yes..."

"Second, he will put a locked Global Positioning System ankle bracelet on every flippin' one of them - immediately! Got that?"

"...Yes..."

"And finally, he will smack each one of them on top of the head as a reminder to bloody well stay put!"

"Got it. No money, GPS anklets, Bop 'em on the head."

"Thank you. Now, get out of here before I fully realize that you are ultimately responsible for this team of lunatics, and take appropriate action."

Ruppert The Incompetent departed...hurriedly.

brother transcendentally ecstatic light-antitank-weapon also supports the views espoused in the brief message linked in the tanah burung signature line. sister joyful noise garotte would voice her approval as well, but she is recovering from choking on her coffee on reading the linked message.

OOC: all may murder me- seeing how my comp crashed while setting up the standings on here and now forced to do them by hand using *gasp* MATH!!!

From the office of Chris Paddon
Tourism Director, Miami-Dade County
Tel: *96965* 1 (305) 097-2400

The nation of Flocarga and Delmarva and the city of Miami Beach thanks the national hockey team of Very Angry Rabbits for coming to our nation and spending it's cash in one of our fine tourist locations. Several people in the area were surprised and happy to see a fine international team appear during this Cherry Cup run. Or at least a team better than our ally in The Gulf States.

If you want your next home game (or just a friendly game) to be played in Miami, we're more than willing to host it over at American Airlines Arena.


Sincerely,
Chris Paddon

OOC: It might have been noticed that I haven't participated much in this for the last few days. I wish it to be noted that I was unhappy with certain aspects of the hosting. However, I will simply leave it at that, in order to keep things peaceable. If the host wishes to know the rasons, please TG me. Thank you.

Standings after MD4 EH!:

Revuocnav Division

Name W L T OL P
VAR 3 0 1 0 7
KN 3 1 0 0 6
FMJ 3 1 0 0 6
FD 2 1 0 1 5
---------------------------------------
SQR 2 2 0 0 4
LE 1 2 1 0 3
TON 1 3 0 0 2
MER 0 4 0 0 0

Xafilah Division

Name W L T OL P
IAN 3 0 1 0 7
HC 2 0 2 0 6
LOV 3 1 0 0 6
BR 2 1 0 1 4
---------------------------------------
RBT 1 1 2 0 4
TMK 0 1 2 1 3
FLP 1 3 0 0 2
DAI 0 3 1 0 1

Kebecwoys Division

Name W L T OL P
TB 3 0 1 0 7
OLV 2 0 2 0 6
STR 2 1 1 0 5
HAR 2 2 0 0 4
---------------------------------------
RIT 1 1 2 0 4
CRN 1 2 1 0 3
VTR 1 2 0 1 3
TGS 0 3 1 0 1

Insert Name Here Division

Name W L T OL P
SPR 3 0 1 0 7
VIL 3 1 0 0 6
CHC 3 1 0 0 6
DRU 2 1 1 0 5
---------------------------------------
EUR 1 2 1 0 3
KER 1 2 1 0 3
KRY 1 2 1 0 3
KSK 0 3 1 0 1

Green= Qualified
Red= Relegated

Matchday 5 (Canadian Bacon helped me):

Revuocnav Division:

Squornshelous- 1
Tonissia- 3

Kalaallit Nunaat- 2
Liverpool England- 0

Very Angry Rabbits- 3
Fmjphoenix- 1

Mercaenaria- 0
Formal Dances- 6

Xafilah Division:

Robotopolis- 7
Daistallia 2104- 2

Iansisle- 4
Blessed Restraint- 2

The Mushroom Kingship- 2
Fimble loving peoples- 2

Hockey Canada- 4
Lovisa- 1

Kebewoys Division:

The Gulf States- 5
Corneliu- 1

Oliverry- 3
Starblaydia- 5

Rittia- 1
Tanah Burung- 3

Vtorbetin- 3
Harlesburg- 0

Insert Name Here Division:

Druida- 4
Chicanada- 6

Vilita- 2
Spruitland- 7

Kassyyk- 2
Kericia- 2

Krytenia- 5
Euroslavia- 2

SportsNet: Now that some teams have only 2 games left to play, it's time for SportsNet to come on!!! The Ferrets keep loving the losses as they add another to their tally. The Iceberg triumph over LE easily to qualify. VAR stay perfect beating Fmjphoenix to qualify. Formal Dances pick up 2 points to keep them in the running for the last 2 spots.

Synthos win despite the absence of the team. Iansisle qualifies with their big win over Blessed Restraint. Shrooms and Fimbles settle for a tie. Hockey Canada takes down the Polish Bisons out of the playoff spot they have but can recover.

The Gulf States pull out a big win over Corneliu keeping a slim chance alive. Starblaydia beats Oliverry to stay cool in 2nd place (a Kebecwoys is HC's way of Quebecois). Tanah Burung Cassowaries qualify with the win over Rittia. Vtorbetin jump into 4th and a possible qualification with their win over Harlesburg.

Chicanada qualifies with their win over Druida. Spruitland are just trying to mix up the standings the way they keep winning. Kassyyk (wookies?) settle for the tie against Kericia. Krytenia jump from 7th to 4th with their win over Euroslavia.

OOC: Er, excuse me. I think you'll find I beat The Gulf States 3-1. I should be on three points...well, five now.

I'll RP here later.

"Those Bloody Oliverrians" beaten!
Rayzors go skating on

Beating Oliverry at Ice Hockey always gives Starblaydis a warm feeling inside, so trouncing them 5-3 was pretty neat. Now Starblaydia are vying for the heady heights at the top of the Kebecwoys Division.

Kebecwoys? What the hell is a Kebecwoy when its at home?

Anyway, the greatest non-robotic team in the history of the Cherry Cup are back on form, we think, which is always a good thing.

Rayzors all the way, baby!

OOC: Oliverry RP'es for it's first time of the cup. yeeeaahhh!!!

IC:

J-F Larache: WTF men? We lose 5-3 against STARBLAYDIA... What's the problem? You can't stop some little dwarves? Come on boys, we need to win, not to lose

Louis Tremblay: Starblaydia are ranked second, if you remember well. And we, we're ranked 7th. So, I don't think we can have any chances against 1st or second ranked teams...

J-F Larache: WHAT? Don't be so pessimistic. WE can win. We just have to play the style of play used in our first Cherry Cup. CCVII. Nobody remembers it... except me. So, tomorrow, we'll play the equivalent Takila... but in Hockey.

Pat Andretti: Maybe, but we're still 3rd of the division...

J-F Larache: That's the other point I wanted to bring: We are third with 2 matches left. We need to win those 2 games, because if we don't, you can say goodbye to the next round. That's why we'll play offensively.

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y197/Spruitland/sportsgazette.jpg


Ice Bunnies win another battle

Vilita – Spruitland: 2 – 7

The Spruitland Ice Bunnies were even more charged up than usual before the start of the match against Vilita. A handful of random supporters cheering at them as they left the team bus and entered the stadium were beaten into a pulp for no apparent reason, and the dressing room underwent a thorough thrashing before any of the players even considered getting into their gear.

One reporter was brave enough to intercept the team on their way to the dug out. He asked backup goalie Julien Karoot what the commotion was all about, but Karoot couldn’t remember. Frank Zandt replied with his hockey stick, Aren Kierstedt with his skates, but Louis Dardenne finally shed some light on the matter.

“Aye, it seems the boys are a bit peeved,” he said to the wheezing and bleeding reporter. “They don’t agree with those awards from the other night.”

“Bit peeved my ass!” Bengt Jonson put in, shoving Dardenne aside. “We’re mad as hell and we’re not going to take this anymore! Harlesburg upset of the century, really! They narrowly beat Dopey, Grumpy and Sneezy, how is that more of an upset than our 9-0 victory over a team that outranked us 21 places!? Upset, we’ll show’m who’s upset…”

It was unfortunate for Vilita that they happened to face the Ice Bunnies in such an animated mood. Vilita dominated the opening minutes, but as soon as they scored a goal, the Bunnies’ cork popped. A massive brawl ensued, lasting a good forty-five minutes. The game was stopped, and the referees decided – after some convincing – to base the score on “number of opponents beaten into the hospital”. Spruitland won 7 to 2.

With this victory, the Ice Bunnies remain in the lead in the Insert Name Here Division, and qualification for the next round now seems as good as certain.

“The tables show us as qualified already,” coach Coach says, “but I’m not totally sure about that. I think we still need 1 point to be absolutely certain. Then again, I’m just a bartender, and math never was my strong point, so if the officials say we’re through, that’s good enough for me.”

“In any case, we’ll go on a partying spree now. I’m thinking we might change our tactic and intentionally lose our next match. There’s only two more games before the next round, better to get it over with now.”

Hockey Canada beats Bisons- Qualified teams piss off hosts due to fact we're not yet qualified.

Kyle Thomas has basically become a national hero with goal number 60 in his young career. The kid from Burlington, Oiratno scored 4 goals en route to the 4-1 win at RIM Park this yesterday. The hometown heroes just need another win to clinch their spot in the Cherry Cup Gary Bettman Round (1st Round), in honour of Gary Bettman's casualties within the plane lodged in his rectum. Bob Goodenow sent a message describing it as "A neverending cave of waste and terror."

It was a Lovisa player that set a new Cherry Cup record that night though, as Jasek Jadczak scored just 9.83 seconds into the game when he lost the opening faceoff but recovered by stealing the puck off Red Green and putting in a shot behind Flyers goalie Myshakov. Kyle Thomas gave the Flyers fans something to cheer aboot when he scored 17.28 seconds later on a quick fake to breakaway for his signature deke.

The game was hard-hitting in the second period featuring Hockey Canada's 31 total minutes in penalties to Lovisa's 4. Dave Semenko originally recieved a 2 minute penalty for Roughing but when an angry Lovisa fan shot a dart at him recalling from last year's um.... "mishap", he was given an additional 5 minutes for leaving the ice. The fan is now in critical condition at Xafilah Hospital.

Kyle Thomas scored 4 minutes into the 3rd on a tip-in from the point off a Green Red shot that was tapped off Thomas' stick and into the lower-left corner of the Lovisa net. The hat-trick was completed with 7 minutes to go in the 3rd when Thomas scored on his signature breakaway before a sea of hats fell upon him. The Polish Bisons pulled their goalie int he dying moments of the game to try for a tie but failed when Thomas iced the puck hitting the left post into the net with 3.2 seconds left.

OOC: I don't know if this is a good quote or not... but I'll say it anyway.

It's more than just a game, it's more than your average tournement... it's the Cherry Cup

OOC: Er, excuse me. I think you'll find I beat The Gulf States 3-1. I should be on three points...well, five now.

You did what now? Lose? That's what I thought...

Nope, I definitely won...and I'm fourth too, so :D

Matchday 6:

Revuocnav Division:

Squornshelous- 3
Liverpool England- 6

Kalaallit Nunaat- 4
Formal Dances- 0

Very Angry Rabbits- 7
Mercaenaria- 0

Tonissia- 2
Fmjphoenix- 3

Xafilah Division:

Robotopolis- 6
Blessed Restraint- 4

Iansisle- 3
Lovisa- 0

Daistallia 2104- 3
Fimble Loving Leoples- 4 (OT)

The Mushroom Kingship- 0
Hockey Canada- 5

Kebecwoys Division:

The Gulf States- 3
Starblaydia- 3

Oliverry- 4
Harlesburg- 7

Corneliu- 2
Tanah Burung- 4

Rittia- 0
Vtorbetin- 1

Insert Name Here Division:

Druida- 3
Spruitland- 5

Vilita- 3
Euroslavia- 1

Chicanada- 6
Kericia- 1

Kassyyk- 3
Krytenia- 4

SportsNet: And to think there was a petition against my hosting... LE stirred it up but also a win over the Ferrets. The first time I say Kalaallit Nunaat in a SportsNet show is with their win. VAR building up for their Bettman Round with a 7-goal parade over Mercaenaria. Fmjphoenix muster out a small win over Tonissia.

Robotopolis trying to recover from falling low with a win. Iansisle basically locking up 1st place with the shutout over Lovisa. FLP save the win in OT over Daistallia 2104 (WTF you're asking? well I am). HC finally qualifies with a scary win smoking the Mushrooms (odd eh?).

Flocarga and Delmarva? The Gulf States? Either way you say it- it sounds good when it's in the sentence "... tied with Starblaydia.". Harlesburg qualifies if not already with the win over Oliverry. Tanah Burung and Corneliu clash with the Cassowaries flying high. Vtorbetin gets a win to keep the smallest shread of hope alive for qualifying.

Spruitland showing no mercy to Druida who is falling slightly in the standings. Vilita gives Euroslavia reason to worry when they handed them another loss. Chicanada all over Kericia by 5 goals, proving there is a slim chance of hope for the weaker teams in the division. Krytenia sends Kassyyk packing with the close win.

Qualified Teams:

Very Angry Rabbits
Kalaallit Nunaat
Fmjphoenix
Iansisle
Hockey Canada
Tanah Burung
Starblaydia
Harlesburg
Spruitland
Chicanada
Robotopolis

11/16

Relegated Teams:

Tonissia
Mercaenaria
Daistallia 2104
The Gulf States
Kassyyk
Kericia

6/16

Blades get some bouncebackability after only the second loss, they win again

Its unbelievable, Fmjphoenix winning in a sport other than football. The Fmjphoenix Blades won their fourth match of the tournament with their third 3-2 victory, this one over Tonnisa. Who is next, we don't know. Will they win? We sure hope so! Its becoming expected! Here is the matches played so far this cup.

MD1: Kalaallit Nunaat 6 - Fmjphoenix 2
MD2: Squornshelous 2 - Fmjphoenix 3
MD3: Fmjphoenix 3 - Formal Dances 2
MD4: Mercaenaria 0 - Fmjphoenix 4
MD5: Very Angry Rabbits 3 - Fmjphoenix 1
MD6: Fmjphoenix 3 - Tonnisa 2

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y197/Spruitland/sportsgazette.jpg


Ice Bunnies cool down against Druida

Druida – Spruitland: 3 – 5

Spruitland’s undefeated streak is bound to come to an end some time, but that time was not last night. After a 3-5 win against Druida, the Ice Bunnies’ streak now stands at 6, with a 4-game winning streak to boot. Their last defeat dates back to… never.

The victory over Druida came somewhat unexpectedly though. After the game against Vilita, coach Coach had implied the Ice Bunnies would be throwing the Druida game in an effort to get the obligatory loss out of the way before the knock out stage, but obviously it didn’t turn out that way.

“Well, we tried,” coach Coach shrugged. “I had told the boys to skip that TripleSandwich thing and leave the Druidan goalie alone. We hadn’t scored a goal yet when there was an actual goalkeeper on the ice, and I didn’t think we’d be able to. Guess I was wrong.”

As it turned out, the Ice Bunnies had very little trouble scoring goals, running out to a 0-2 lead in the first period, and scoring twice more in the second and a fifth time in the third. The Druidan’s first reply came in the second period to make it 1-3, and as soon as the goal was scored the entire Druidan team braced themselves for the inevitable massive brawl, but much to everyone’s surprise, the Spruitland bench stayed indifferent. Another guideline from coach Coach, apparently.

“Yeah, I had asked the boys to chill a bit, this match. You can’t keep getting into a fight every time an opponent scores against you. We’ve got a lot of nicks and bruises, black eyes, chipped teeth – a bit of a healing period is not a bad thing. We qualified from the group stage anyway, better to save our strength for when it matters.”

With this victory the Ice Bunnies stay in the lead in the Insert Name Here Division with 11 points. Their last match in the group stage, against Kericia, will be of very little importance, since the Kericians are already certain of elimination.

Matchday 7 (It has come when Canadian Bacon has fully done scores):

Revuocnav Division:

Squornshelous- 1
Kalaallit Nunaat- 6

Tonissia- 3
Mercaenaria- 2

Very Angry Rabbits- 5
Formal Dances- 0

Liverpool England- 2
Fmjphoenix- 2

Xafilah Division:

Robotopolis- 5
Iansisle- 4

Daistallia 2104- 2
Hockey Canada- 6

The Mushroom Kingship- 2
Lovisa- 5

Blessed Restraint- 0
Fimble loving peoples- 1

Kebewoys Division:

The Gulf States- 4
Oliverry- 5 (OT)

Corneliu- 2
Vtorbetin- 0

Rittia- 1
Harlesburg- 4

Starblaydia- 5
Tanah Burung- 5

Insert Name Here Division:

Druida- 3
Vilita- 3

Chicanada- 5
Krytenia- 3

Kassyyk- 0
Euroslavia- 0

Spruitland- 2
Kericia- 3

SportsNet: This is a quickie people, cuz I'm using my cell-phone's line 4 my laptop. KN take the ferretsm down a few notches but send them packing happily. Tonissia get a win, not quite sure if they're alive to know it. VAR beat LE continuing their streak. Fmjphoenix's expected win comes.

Clash of the Cherry Cup's 2 larger contenders feature Synthos finally beating Iansisle on top of the world (literally). Hosts HC win but nothing special about us. Lovisa picks up a win. FLP gives the rookies a good run to beat em 1- nil.

Oliverry survives a scare against The Gulf States in overtime. Corneliu shouts out Vtorbetin in a rather close game. Harlesburg keeps the momentum up as they easily take care of Rittia. Heavyweights Starblaydia and Tanah Burung go head-to-head and end up with 5 aside.

Vilita and Druida, veterans of the game tie. Chicanada beats Krytenia in a game featuring a few donuts and coffee thrown on the ice. Speaking of donuts, just check the Kassyyk and Euroslavia scoreboard as you'll find plenty there. Spruitland must've thrown the game because Kericia seemed off theirs but still won.

Qualified Teams:

Very Angry Rabbits
Kalaallit Nunaat
Fmjphoenix
Iansisle
Hockey Canada
Tanah Burung
Starblaydia
Harlesburg
Spruitland
Robotopolis
Liverpool England
Lovisa
Oliverry
Vilita
Chicanada
Druida

16/16

Relegated teams:

Tonissia
Mercaenaria
Daistallia 2104
The Gulf States
Kassyyk
Kericia
Squornshelous
Formal Dances
Blessed Restraint
The Mushroom Kingship
Fimble Loving Peoples
Rittia
Corneliu
Vtorbetin
Krytenia
Euroslavia

16/16

Schedule for the Bettman Round:

Very Angry Rabbits
vs
Druida

Kalaallit Nunaat
vs
Chicanada

Fmjphoenix
vs
Vilita

Iansisle
vs
Oliverry

Hockey Canada
vs
Lovisa

Tanah Burung
vs
Liverpool England

Starblaydia
vs
Robotopolis

Harlesburg
vs
Spruitland

Bettman Report

Well hello again this is Joe Malaknanakshnaklusakjingleheimershmidt-Smith here reporting on the Gary Bettman report. It seems survivors of the plane that crashed into Bettman's ass during Cherry Cup 8 have successfully escaped through the upper-rectum. Hours of hard pushing and funny smells were only a small sacrifice to pay after the survivors were free from his bowels in early January.

With only one man remaining in the plane, Bob Goodenow has fashioned a home made of common objects you would find in the lower-rectum. He can communicate with the outside world by sending signals.

MORE TO COME

Heavyweights Starblaydia and Tanah Burung go head-to-head and end up with 5 aside.

Penalty Boxes Full to Bursting!
Ten Goals and Ten Hockey players finish off the Kebewoys Division. There were so many penalties in this game, however, that the penalty boxes had to be expanded into the crowd, with around thirty players serving time for discrepancies by the end of the match, leaving just five players (dwarves and men respectively) on each side, including two Starblaydi goalkeepers, one of whom was playing at left wing.

That's what you get for adding 'Groin Biting' and 'Dwarf Tossing' to the list of penalty offences. We warned them.

Schedule for the Bettman Round:
Starblaydia
vs
Robotopolis

Pre-tournament #1 seed vs pre-tournament #2 seed? What?
No, folks, you haven't fast-forwarded to the Final of Cherry Cup 13, you've merely seen some atrocious luck for both sides. The Robots and Dwarves will have wanted to meet each other in the Final, but now they have to knock each other out (in more ways than one) in the Bettman round, making the winner of this argueably the hot tip for the rest of the Championship.

Cassowary defenceman Alain Santos-Wigglebottom was in tears today as she heard herself described as a "heavyweight" by a culturally insensitive announcer.

"It's true," said the distraught defender. "I have put on a few kilograms since the last Cup. But i try to stay trim. I really do. It's just genetic. Why, of why must they make fun of my weight?"

The weeping Santos-Wigglebottom added that he was "deeply regretful" at injuries sustained by Starblaydi player Numnurr Sproïn. "I didn't mean to crush him, i just tripped and fell," he said, weeping and hefting his belly flab.

Up next for the Cassowaries after a highly satisfactory opening round: the Ice Terminators from Liverpool England. "I think we can catch them on their moderate left wing," said Dina de Beus of the Cassowary Cheerleader Federation.

Hockey Canada bets to win Cherry Cup

Robotopolis- 3:7
Starblaydia- 3:10
Tanah Burung- 1:10
Kalaallit Nunaat- 1:10
Very Angry Rabbits- 1:15
Liverpool England- 1:20
Oliverry- 1:20
Iansisle- 1:20
Hockey Canada- 1:25
Chicanada- 1:30
Vilita- 1:35
Harlesburg- 1:40
Lovisa- 1:45
Druida- 1:50
Fmjphoenix- 1:75
Spruitland- 1:75

OOC: What EXACTLY is the RP bonus, HC?

As far as I can tell no RP bonus was given at all, except for a negative bias towards myself. I have serious questions regarding the fairness of this host.

(Yes, I said above that I wouldn't bring this up, but neither Kalaallit Nunaat nor the host has responded, so I feel I have no other option.)

As far as I can tell no RP bonus was given at all, except for a negative bias towards myself. I have serious questions regarding the fairness of this host.

(Yes, I said above that I wouldn't bring this up, but neither Kalaallit Nunaat nor the host has responded, so I feel I have no other option.)

Had you RPed, the result may have been different. But seeing on how you have not, I believe there is no reason to complain.

So please tell me how a new 32nd ranked team that doesn't RP at all can make the Bettman Round (Round-of-16).

Druida fan #1: "Did you see that? Did you? Well, did you?!?!?"

Druida fan #2: "Druida 3 Vilita 3, Druida go through to the Bettman Round!"

Druida fan #1: "Doesn't it make you proud to be Druidan?"

Druida fan #2: "Er... we're not Druidan anymore."

Druida fan #1: "We're not?"

Druida fan #2: "No. We're Hockey Canadian."

Druida fan #1: "We are?"

Druida fan #2: "Yeah. Remember when we applied for citizenship in protest at Druida's disregard for the sport of hockey? Well, they accepted us. We're part of a nation that loves the sport as much as we do!"

Druida fan #1: "But... I thought we were just using the hockey as an excuse to get drunk all the time. I know I do. I thought you..."

Druida fan #2: "You mean you..."

Druida fan #1: "I thought you were too!?!?!"

*Druida fan #2 just stares back at Druida fan #1*

Druida fan #1: "Still, it's grown on me. I like it. But do we have to support Druida? They suck!"

Druida fan #2: "Of course we do! That's where we're from!"

Druida fan #1: "But you said we were from Hockey Canada?"

Druida fan #2: "Look, we are Hockey Canadian, but we support Druida, for that is the land from which we originate. It's a kind of loyalty thing... you know... Look, maybe we should talk this whole thing over after a drink or two. You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

*Druida fan #1 jumps in the air for joy* "Let's do it!"

Blades advance after draw with LE, face Vilita

Ending a supurb Cherry Cup qualification with 4 victories, the Fmjphoenix Blades find themselves where they have never been, the next round. Now they are going to face regionmates and allies Vilita. Although the only place where we have meet a Vilitan side before was football, this will still be a highly watched game on FmjTV. Although they are not expected to go on to the next round, they will still go all out to try and continue forth into the later rounds of the Cherry Cup.

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y197/Spruitland/sportsgazette.jpg


Finally!

Spruitland – Kericia: 2 – 3

It took them seven games, but the Spruitland Ice Bunnies have finally done what everyone expected them to do all along: lose. There was no disappointment on the Spruitlanders’ faces as they left the rink though.

“No harm done,” coach Coach smiled. “In the long run, this is for the best. It’s bad luck to go into the knock-out stage undefeated. Normally we’re not very concerned about that superstitious mumbo-jumbo, but this is Cherry Cup 13, so you have to take things like that into account. We should be all set for the second round now.”

It was a hard-fought defeat though, against a Kericia team that seemed reluctant to take the win. Spruitland ran out to a quick 2-0 lead with a goal from Frank Zandt and a Kerician own goal off a casual cross from Bengt Jonson. The Ice Bunnies took their foot off the pedal after that, leaving Kericia the initiative.

It took some time before the Kericians managed to take advantage of the space being offered to them. They finally managed to score at the end of the second period, when Spruitland goalie Ludovic Robins completely misjudged a weak shot.

The equalizer didn’t come for a long time though, and it looked like Spruitland was gonna take the win, until coach Coach called goalkeeper Robins off the ice and brought in an extra attacker with 3 minutes on the clock. Even then it took 7 tries for the Kericians to get the puck into the net, but they finally managed it. 2-2

With 23 seconds to go, Aren Kiersted accidentally fumbled on the face-off, sending the puck sailing back into the own goal. A painful mistake, but Kiersted shrugged it off after the match.

“Oh well, life goes on,” he said. “One day you score a hattrick, the next an own goal. It was only fair, the Kericians scored an own goal in the first period as well. And I have a date, so I didn’t have time for overtime anyway. Now if you’ll excuse me…”

Spruitland ends… erm, somewhere near the top of the Insert Name Here Division and moves on to the second round, a.k.a. the Bettman Round, where they’ll face Harlesburg. Despite Harlesburg’s “upset of the century” win against Starblaydia, and despite Spruitland getting abysmal odds from Hockey Canadian bookmakers to win the tournament, coach Coach is confident.

“75 to 1? Heh, I might feel insulted if I wasn’t so busy betting my life savings on Spruitland. If all goes well, I should be able to retire after this tournament. And if not, oh well, this coaching job pays nicely anyway.”

“Depends a bit on the draw. Unless we’re comatose, Harlesburg shouldn’t be too much of a problem. After that, it might get trickier though. If I can make any sense out of the bracket, we’ll be facing either Dwarfbladia or Kitchenappliancopolis in the Quarter Finals. That’s when the fun will really start.”

Harlesburg Qualify
Find secret to winning

Turns out the secret for me is not to Rp..

All across Harlesburg Thousands of dollars is being used to place bets on Tanah Burung

Random community person
"They play well aye?!"

ChicanadaSun
The coolest news...thing ever!

Kodiaks Get Icebergs Again
Kodiaks Rebound But Still Face Major Threat

SOMEWHERE IN HOCKEY CANADA - With the Kodiaks rebounding nicely with 3 or 4 or so wins in a row Chicanada moves into the Round of 16.

Against Kalaallit Nunaat.

Yeah, the same team that knocked the Kodiaks out in the Quaterfinals last cup.

No word on how the team plans to respond, as an intoxicated Jaquee flew back to Commie Brazil in order to vote in the third round of 2010 Olympics voting. Most expect the Kodiaks to pull an upset off and escape the Icebergs grasp in order to make another round of 8.

In other news, the CCXI bid team has announced that Chicanada will wait until Cherry Cup XV to bid for hosting duties again, to be held in either Southampton or Czjao'a Plaziaon. Both cities are expected to be presented as host city nominees for the 2014 Winter Olympics during the next NSIOC.

Had you RPed, the result may have been different. But seeing on how you have not, I believe there is no reason to complain.

So please tell me how a new 32nd ranked team that doesn't RP at all can make the Bettman Round (Round-of-16).


1) I am not a new team, but am returning after an absence. This was pointed out to you above, by both myself and Tanah Burung.
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=8955534&postcount=41
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=8957884&postcount=43

You seem to have conveniently ignored this.

2) I am not complaining about having been relegated, but the negative bias I preceve in your hosting.

3) Regarding the rankings, one of the reasons I returned was Kalaallit Nunaat's offer (in TG) that I would be more highly ranked.

4) I RPed my in the early part of this thread:
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=421415&page=2&pp=40
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=8967603&postcount=59

The result was that instead of improving, my teams losses became worse. To add insult, several of the teams that made it through did no RP at all. This is why I stopped RPing, as I considered it a negative bias. That other players are asking you to clarify how it is affecting the scoring is, at the least, a sign that you haven't been clear on this.

Unusually Quiet Gulls Ready for the Bloodening

HOCKEY CANADA -- Despite the sting of their recent loss to Robotopolis - who, it must be noted, would have sold their souls to the devil to win another Cup, had only the cold, metallic non-humans entertained such an anthropomorphic quality to begin with - the Gulls enter the Bettman Round possessed of only the will to win.

"We have cast down all enemies except the bizarre demon-bots," said enforcer Ashlee Langdone, brandishing his hockey stick-cum-laser. "Far too long has it been since Don Cherry's Cup has resided in the golden city of Ianapalis. We shall avenge every game since and before the Seventh Cup, and damned be those who stand between us and our righteous victory."

Added captain and star winger Martin St. Amour: "Righteous!"

((Dude, Daistallia, calm down. I've plenty of respect for you, but OOC griping really doesn't belong here. The RP bonus has never been a major part of the CC - in fact, the was NO RP bonus in either CCVIII or CCXII - and is certainly no prerequisite for winning; a lot of the CC is simply luck and good sportsmanship (reference: Squornshelous, who was perhaps the most gracious and understanding loser I've ever known).

If you want to debate about who RPed more lines or spammed more posts to increase their victory count, may I suggest the World Cup? :D))

3) Regarding the rankings, one of the reasons I returned was Kalaallit Nunaat's offer (in TG) that I would be more highly ranked.

OOC:
Not gonna get involved in discussion about the other arguments, just wanted to point out that, as I understood it was decided in the sign-up thread, the rankings are based on the previous two Cherry Cups. So if you haven't participated in those two, you're considered a "new team", ranking-wise. Would be rather silly to make an exception for one team, no?

http://www.eurosport.com/imgbk/icehok/all/big_md-i174047.jpg

Bettman Round:

Very Angry Rabbits- 5
Druida- 2

Kalaallit Nunaat- 3
Chicanada- 0

Fmjphoenix- 4 (2-1 in Shootout)
Vilita- 3

Iansisle- 4
Oliverry- 1

Hockey Canada- *
Lovisa- *

Tanah Burung- 5
Liverpool England- 3

Starblaydia- 1 (10-9 in Shootout)
Robotopolis- 0

Harlesburg- 2
Spruitland- 3 (OT)

SportsNet: VAR advances to the Quarters putting Druida in their place nicely. The teeth better get sharper when they play Iansisle.

Kalaallit Nunaat will put Greenland up in lights as they party with the win over Chicanada last night to play Fmjphoenix.

3 overtimes couldn't end this game but a close shootout did as Fmjphoenix advances even farther in the Cherry Cup (it must be like Britain actually winning in hockey in the Olympics, but as 1936 proves... it can happen).

Iansisle threatened to win the Cherry Cup to relive the glorious days before HC arrived (Cherry Cup 7), and they're on their way beating CC9 champs Oliverry.

Hockey Canada vs. Lovisa will be scorinated by Iansisle. Winner will play Spruitland.

Tanah Burung- the tropical birds are soaring here in the arctic with wins like the one last night over LE to get them against Starblaydia.

I know... the enjoyment of Starblaydians across the country cannot be put into words, especially when only one goal decided the outcome. The former-champs will have to find another 3 Cherry Cups to make a dynasty out of (if not already).

Spruitland's run in this cup conjures up memories of the USA in the 1980 winter olympics. Going near perfect with a slight blemish in the round robin is just getting them by. Enough to play _______ (Winner of Hockey Canada vs. Lovisa game).

Quarter-Final (Above 80th parallel) Round Schedule:

Very Angry Rabbits
vs.
Iansisle

Kalaallit Nunaat
vs.
Fmjphoenix

Hockey Canada or Lovisa
vs.
Spruitland

Tanah Burung
vs.
Starblaydia

Hockey Canada- *
Lovisa- *

As asked, Hockey Canada 3 - 2 Lovisa.

Congratulations to the Flyers and commiserations to the Polish Bisons. :D

Flyers in Quarters? You know what that means... TAILGATE PARTY!!!

When the Flyers were playing the Polish Bisons for the 2nd time in the tournement, Hockey Canadian fans were expecting a rout. But it was far from it as the Flyers fell 2-0 early in the 1st period. 2 quick goals from a weak wrist shot outside the blueline and a slapper that Myshakov misplayed- having passed it into his own net looking somewhat disgruntled afterwards.

Red Green got the fans going late in the 1st period when the deadly Flyers powerplay took effect when he slapped a shot clocked at 110 m/ph behind the Lovisa goalie. The goalie is now in hospital with severe whiplash and multiple bruising. But speaking of bruising, it was the only way the Flyers played from then injuring 7 Lovisa players before the Polish Bisons were down to 8 skaters.

The Flyers took control from the second period when Kyle Thomas scored his signature goal and Dave Semenko bodychecked the Lovisa goalie (surprisingly no penalty) to trickle the puck just wide of the net. The Flyers were so happy with the way the game was going they pulled Dave Semenko from the game and replaced him with his dead, decomposing grandmother on a toboggan.

Muriel Semenko was an enforcer before the croaked, but after she kicked the can she was one of the hardest hitters the Cherry Cup has ever seen. She was always the 1st in the corner to dig the puck out (with a little push from a teammate), and always the last to leave the corner with the puck (the Lovisa player was too badly injured to continue).

Muriel Semenko ended up with the game-winning goal when she slid in on a breakaway clocked at 3 k/ph (due to the fact the Lovisa players were so badly injured or scared of her hits or stench). The Polish Bison goalie skated away in fear as the let go a shot that took 34 seconds to feacht he hashmarks to behind the goal line. Semenko was given the player of the game shortly before she was returned to her home 6 feet under the ground to rest in peace for the next game.

Now with Spruitland on the Flyer's "to-do" list, Muriel will surely be back along with her great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandson, Dave.

Pics of the Tailgate party:

http://www.iowademolay.org/events/imagezone/Tailgate02/AmesTrophy-Kyle2.gif
Flyers fan with game MVP after prying the trophy from Muriel Semenko's dead hands. He is now in hospital with a dead woman's foot lodged far in his rectum.

http://www.personal.psu.edu/users/n/w/nwc105/grouptailgate.jpg
Flyers fans before being treated with severe frostbite.

http://www.projo.com/patriots/tailgate/slideshow/uploads/1073934677.jpg
Gary Bettman (on right) before being unmasked, tarred, then feathered, then tarren again, then dipped in caramel.

((Dude, Daistallia, calm down. I've plenty of respect for you, but OOC griping really doesn't belong here. The RP bonus has never been a major part of the CC - in fact, the was NO RP bonus in either CCVIII or CCXII - and is certainly no prerequisite for winning; a lot of the CC is simply luck and good sportsmanship (reference: Squornshelous, who was perhaps the most gracious and understanding loser I've ever known).

If you want to debate about who RPed more lines or spammed more posts to increase their victory count, may I suggest the World Cup? :D))

The only reason I posted it here was that HC ignored my request to discuss it in TG. As far as RP goes, it doesn't matter if there was one applied or not, as long as it is applied fairly with no bias. IMHO, this has not been the case, thus the complaint. And good sportsmanship is all fine, but when the host appears to cheat, that is not something I am going to let pass.

Not gonna get involved in discussion about the other arguments, just wanted to point out that, as I understood it was decided in the sign-up thread, the rankings are based on the previous two Cherry Cups. So if you haven't participated in those two, you're considered a "new team", ranking-wise. Would be rather silly to make an exception for one team, no?
Actually this was not a problem - note that I didn't complain about it in the sign up thread even though KN said I would be higher ranked than before if I signed up again. But to have the host call me a newb, and then penalize me when I object, is not fair.

And that is the last word I will say about any of this.

To Err is Dwarven
To 'Error at Line 6436: Bad Threepeat Parameter' is just plain bonkers

The Rayzors were once cruelly denied a record third Cherry Cup Championship of their own by Kalaallit Nunaat in the Final of Cherry Cup 11. This marked a subtle downturn in the Rayzors fortunes, though don't forget the fact they've made the Quarter-Finals for the past six Championships.

Now, Starblaydia's gallant Dwarven ice-bound sporting heroes have given the Robots a taste of their own output, beating them 10-9 in an Overtime shoot-out type-thingy. Perhaps the Robots had finally got themselves stuck in a loop, their software crashing just as Dwarven sobriety kicked in.

That, my friends, is a recipe for Robotopolosers.

Rayzors All the Way, Baby!

Blades beat Vilita?? Is that possible??
Its true! Its true! Death comes next though

Somehow Fmjphoenix is still playing hockey! There were expected to lose to Vilita, but 3 overtimes could not change a 1-1 deadlock. But in penelty shootouts, they narrowly edged out a tough team. This is probably as far as they will go though. They must now face the dominating team from Kalaallit Nunaat. Will they win? Probably not. Will they try? You know they will. Is anyone outside of Fmjphoenix rooting for them? Doubtful. But they will give everythign they got to keep on going.

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y197/Spruitland/sportsgazette.jpg


Harlesburg down, Hockey Canada to go

Harlesburg – Spruitland: 2 – 3 (OT)

The Spruitland Ice Bunnies add another notch to their hockey sticks and get to play at least one more match to continue their impressive debut on the international hockey scene. The second round match against Harlesburg was much tighter than expected though, and the Spruitlanders were forced into overtime for the first time in the tournament.

The Ice Bunnies quickly ran out to a 0-2 lead but lost focus after that, and Harlesburg came back with a goal in both the second and third period. Spruitland increased the pace in the last 5 minutes of regular playing time, but had to wait until 3 minutes into overtime before Johan Bronkhorst set off the buzzer with the winning goal.

Spruitland can now proudly say they have one of the eight best ice hockey teams in the world, which is quite remarkable for a tropical nation where 87% of the population mainly thinks of ice as something that goes up your nostrils. But the Ice Bunnies’ results in the Cherry Cup have not gone unnoticed in Spruitland, where hockey sticks are quickly gaining popularity as a mugging tool.

Confidence among unemployed couch potatoes – who constitute the bulk of Spruitland’s Cherry Cup television audience – is high, and qualification for the Semi Finals is considered a near certainty. Ice Bunnies coach Coach is slightly more cautious about the upcoming Quarter Final against home team Hockey Canada though.

“Not too happy with that draw, to be honest. We were kinda hoping to face Starblaydia, since we’re pretty sure we could handle those midgets. Hockey Canada has the home advantage, and that’s always a tough hurdle to overcome.”

“Then again, it could work to our advantage as well. Some of our boys get a real motivation boost when they’re being booed and insulted. And we’re still a bit peevish about missing out on that “upset of the century” award. Maybe giving the hosts a nice spanking will make them see their error.”

ChicanadaSun
The coolest news...thing ever!

Kodiaks Go 0-2, Begin Next Cycle Prep
Chicanada bows out with a 3-0 loss

SOMEWHERE IN HOCKEY CANADA - Nothing new to report, as the Kodiaks are bounced out of another Cherry Cup to Kalaallit Nunaat, leaving the nation with a loud "whatever" as attention turns back to the CHL and CFA action.

In other CHL news
The Cherry Cup XV Bid Committee also announced today in Eastentown that Southampton has been selected as the host city for Chicanada's upcomming bid. Most had speculated that this would occur, and no one was surprised by the decision to wait two tourneys to host again as Narobi Canton and the city of Mogada are still in debt to hosting the eleventh edition of the cup. With the northern canton expected to return to economic balance during Cherry Cup XIV the CHL decided to wait until Mogada was clear before allowing Southampton and the Bid Team to begin its bid process.

ooc: Good grief! My "profile" hasn't shown a new post in this thread in about a week and a half - and suddenly, I find that where I thought the whole thing had been abandoned, we're moving right along! :eek:

Sorry for no RPs - I really thought nothing was happening.

Ah, well - that's what I get for sending the entire team to Miami...

At work right now, and very busy - will try to get an RP in there soon.

You have about 2 hours to RP before the next game.

Tanah Burung Hockey News and Church Bulletin
Resolutely black-and-white since CC1

Hermaphroditic fatty Alain Santos-Wigglebottom scored two goals to dispatch Liverpool England from the 13th Cherry Cup, but all eyes were on the next round already. That denied him her share of glory.

"It seems unfair," she said, wiping away the usual tears from his eyes.

The dubious prize for beating the Ice Terminators was a clash with the winner of two-time Cup winner Robotopolis, versus two-time Cup winner Starblaydia. With the Rayzors coming out on top, that means Tanah Burung gets yet another crack at their hated nemesis.

Dwarf-crushing, anyone? Let us pray.

15 minutes till scorination people! Get your RPs in now before too late!!!

Quarter Final (above 80th Parallel) Round Scores:

Very Angry Rabbits- 3
Iansisle- 4 (2 OT)

Kalaallit Nunaat- 7
Fmjphoenix- 0

Hockey Canada- *
Spruitland- *

Tanah Burung- 3
Starblaydia- 1

SportsNet: Lets get right on with the next round shall we? VAR drops a very close game to Iansisle and will have to bear their teeth either at the next Cherry Cup or at Gary Bettman.

Kalaallit Nunaat, the veterans, the hated, the blowout! Fmjphoenix didn't expect to win and they expected right. The Iceberg will play the Gulls to see what will last- a 700 billion tonne block of ice, or a 4 pound bird.

Results of Hockey Canada vs. Spruitland game will be scorinated by Iansisle.

Hockey Canadians and Tanah Burunger umm... people will be suffering axe wounds tonight as the Cassowaries hang on to the win over the Rayzors. An all-dwarf team may win the Cherry Cup next time, but it's always good to see 2 champs go down.

So the Semi Final (Frezinmai Nutzov Memorial) Round looks like this:

Iansisle
vs.
Kalaallit Nunaat

Ice or Gulls? Take your pick.

Hockey Canada or Spruitland
vs.
Tanah Burung

Considering we have at least 2 birds in the event (Gulls & Cassowaries), it wouldn't hurt to have a third (Flyers).

As asked by the host:

Hockey Canada 2 - 4 Spruitland

Congratulations to the Ice Bunnies and commiserations to the Flyers. :D

------

Gulls Hop the Rabbits

HOCKEY CANADA -- The smell of laser-singed fur, caked sweat, and a victory were all evident on the Gulls as they emerged from their marathon on ice bloodied, beaten, but triumphant.

"I'd just like to see this as final proof of the hypothesis that Kehaar could totally kick General Woundwort's ass," said team head coach Steve Martinson. "Everyone knows THAT."

Having just outlasted the Very Angry Rabbits, the Gulls now get ready to face (one of) their ultimate nemesis(es), the Red and White Iceberg of Kalaallit Nunaat.

"Many might remember a similar match from Cherry Cup IV," said team historian Throckmorten Alabaster, "When the lowly Gulls, coming off a bad regular season, had to face the Iceberg which had appeared in - and lost - the previous three Cherry Cup finals. No one gave us much of a chance then either, but who was it that played the Mighty Ducks of Eizen for all the marbles? That's right, us."

Team sources were also quick to counter allegations that the Gulls would be weak against a block of ice.

"As anyone who lives in a coastal community knows," said right wing Mark Woolf, "Seagulls are perhaps the greatest weapon of mass destruction known to man. Nothing can ruin a harbor cruise or other pleasant outing on the water faster than one of their strafing attacks. And I ask you: what is more lasting? the ice in your lemonade on a hot summer day, or that new, white stain on your favorite jacket?"

Recent studies have confirmed that no bird - not even the pigeon, formerly thought to be the most dangerous avian life form on the planet - can out-defecate a gull. However, they were also quick to warn that new studies suggest that ice may freeze better in the high latitudes of Hockey Canada.

Kalaallit Nunaat with another slani blowout

7-0... 7-0!!!!! First came a 6-0 blowout by Kalaallit Nunaat, then this. In two matches against the slani competitors, Fmjphoenix is now a combined 13-0 in goals. Despite the utter hatred brewing from Fmjphoenix, the rumors that the air force was being called for duty of attack are false.

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y197/Spruitland/sportsgazette.jpg


Ice Bunnies upset hosts

Hockey Canada – Spruitland: 2 – 4

The Spruitland Ice Bunnies started their Quarter Final match against Hockey Canada as the underdogs. Despite an impressive tournament so far, there wasn’t a Hockey Canadian in the stadium who thought the home team would have any trouble whatsoever overcoming the Spruitland debutants.

The atmosphere in the stadium reflected this perfectly. Less than a thousand Spruitland supporters had managed to get a ticket, and if they made any noise at all it couldn’t be heard over the cheering and singing of the home crowd before the start of the match.

But that changed pretty fast. When Hockey Canada took the early lead, all seemed to be going according to plan for the hosts, but before the end of the first period, the Spruitlanders made it clear they were not about to bend over willingly. With two goals, Ferdi Schtrumpf dampened the volume of the cheers, and the first Spruitland songs could be heard through a disgruntled home crowd during the first intermission.

A tight and physical second period did not do much to lift the Hockey Canadian supporters’ spirits, and when Aren Kiersted made it 1-3 just before the second intermission, the proverbial temperature started to match the actual one. Some minor scuffles in the crowd could not shut up the increasingly vocal Spruitland supporters.

The cheers of the home crowd briefly returned in the third period when the Hockey Canadians pulled one back, but Schtrumpf’s third goal of the match quickly crushed all hope again. An impromptu song from the Spruitland supporters, consisting entirely of the words “Who’s upset now?”, was the only thing that could be heard for the remaining minutes of the match.

As soon as the match was over, the Ice Bunnies retreated to the dressing room under a rain of empty and not-so-empty beer cans, with Frank Zandt being dragged along by team mates to prevent him from jumping into the crowd fists first. Apart from a few more minor incidents between supporters, it soon quieted down though, and the home crowd drooped off, leaving the Spruitlanders to their celebrations.

With this “upset of the century”, the Ice Bunnies move into the Semi Final and are well on their way to “pull a Starblaydia.” Starblaydia won Cherry Cup 5 in their first ever appearance with a team that barely knew how to skate, much like Spruitland’s team before the start of the tournament.

Incidently, Starblaydia won Cherry Cup 5 by beating Tanah Burung in the Final Series. But in this Cherry Cup, Tanah Burung sent the Rayzors back home to Snowwhite to become Spruitland’s Semi Final opponent. Spruitland sports experts see this as a good omen and are convinced the Ice Bunnies should easily advance into the Final.

“Well, I wouldn’t wanna say it’s going to be easy,” coach Coach says, “but I think we can take them, yeah. Granted, they’re the 3rd ranked team in the world, while we’re ranked 32, but that doesn’t impress us.”

“We’re likely to have the home crowd advantage as well. The Hockey Canadians might be a little annoyed with us right now, but that should change soon. If we go on and win the tournament, at least they can say they were eliminated by the Champions. Not quite as embarrassing any more, then.”

Harlesburg knocked out Spuitland advance
advance some more beat hosts too.

Rejoice! Susan Aglukark, Queen of Kalaallit Nunaat, Iansisle, and Her Other Dependencies, is pleased with the inexorable progress of her beloved Iceberg. She commends especially the performance of Tungak Curley, Iceberg center and concurrently Minister of International Trade and Commerce.

The Queen is pleased that the semi-final will be against her wayward province of Iansisle. The chance to teach the savage peoples of that province another lesson in humility is much welcomed be Her Dread Majesty, who reminds the people of Iansisle that her armies are mighty and possess the secret of Military Tactics as well as the secret of Alpine Warfare.

The Queen reminds the government of the insignificant principality of Fmjphoenix that there is no shame in their team's utter annihilation at the hands of a superior foe. She also reminds them that should they be so foolish as to attempt an attack that might disturb her good mood, her benevolence is not without limit. Their air force will be awatted away like insignificant mosquitoes. Terrible waste will be laid to any state which dares defile her sacred realm.

The Queen gleefully notes the defeat of Robotopolis and Starblaydia, pretenders to the throne of greatest hockey team of all time: a throne that belongs to Kalaallit Nunaat by divine right and will shortly be confirmed by the Iceberg's second Cherry Cup. The Queen anticipates keenly the chance to smash birds, bunnies and assorted critters that still litter Kalaallit Nunaat's path.

CC14 sign-ups are at http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=425732

Semi Final (Frezinmai Nutzov Memorial) Round:

Iansisle- 2 (3 OT)
Kalaallit Nunaat- 1

Spruitland- 3
Tanah Burung- 6

SportsNet: The climactic battle is at hand! Iansisle vs. Tanah Burung for the surpreme ruler of the Cherry Cup for a while! All bunnies and rabbits in Hockey Canada found were used in the games to make special rabbit stew, soup, fried rabbit (yummy!), and rabbit fingers after Spruitland beat Hockey Canada.

Iansisle took 3 overtimes in the semi-final to end up going for it all against Tanah Burung. The Gulls will have to try hard to soar over the Ice and bodies to win this next game. Susan Aglukark will have to halt on Hockey Canada's borders as all passes (border surrounded by mountains) will be blocked off and air transit will be shot down... I mean... make for good fireworks.

The Cassowaries were more like vultures feasting upon the Ice Bunnies' bodies as they flew all over Spruitland by 3 goals to advance to the finals. Cassowaries will have to soar even higher to poop even more on the Gulls (is that the best line I have?) if they want to win the Cup. In less-important news, Kalaallit Nunaat and Spruitland will be playing on a pond with thin ice for the consolation round.

FINALS

Iansisle
vs.
Tanah Burung

Consolation Round
Kalaallit Nunaat
vs.
Spruitland

Cherry Cup Final:

Starblaydia v. Tanah Burung at the Ianapalis Sports Arena

"We want both of them to lose," quip Gulls fans.

Same to you two, too.

Same to you two, too.

I feel the love!

Real post coming later..ish :)

I feel the love!

Haztarr Arrested for Touching Up Iansislander!
Rayzors Coach showing Gulls Fan how much he loves them

Reports from Hockey Canada are sketchy, but Starblaydi Cooach Haztarr was taking into custody for allegedly sexually assaulting an Iansislander Hockey fan.

"He's innocent, I'm sure," said team Captain Thorin Nibin, "that Gulls' fan was loving every second of it, quite blatantly."

More on this story if we can be bothered to investigate it further. :p

Haztarr Arrested for Touching Up Iansislander!
Rayzors Coach showing Gulls Fan how much he loves them

Reports from Hockey Canada are sketchy, but Starblaydi Cooach Haztarr was taking into custody for allegedly sexually assaulting an Iansislander Hockey fan.

"He's innocent, I'm sure," said team Captain Thorin Nibin, "that Gulls' fan was loving every second of it, quite blatantly."

More on this story if we can be bothered to investigate it further. :p

Not a good idea. In Hockey Canada, the communist government has very very poor human rights. lol

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y197/Spruitland/sportsgazette.jpg


Ice Bunnies down on their luck

Spruitland – Tanah Burung: 3 – 6

Alas, the Spruitland Ice Bunnies did not make it to the Final of Cherry Cup 13. Indeed, as hard as it is to believe, the Bunnies lost their Semi Final game to Tanah Burung with three goals to six, leaving the nation in a state of shock.

While the match between unranked Spruitland and third ranked Tanah Burung may have been an easy one to predict on paper, the Ice Bunnies have won so many matches they should have lost in this tournament that going all the way seemed like a sure thing. At least, to Spruitlanders.

Many Spruitland citizens decided to cash in on this sure thing by taking advantage of the 75 to 1 odds given by Hockey Canadian bookmakers, and gambled away their life savings by betting on the Ice Bunnies. They thereby followed the example of coach Coach and most of the players, except Julien Karoot, who couldn’t remember the code of his ATM card.

But despite this financial setback for a fair portion of Spruitland’s population, neither the nation’s hockey fanatics nor the coach and players are disappointed with the result.

“Our luck had to run out some time,” a shivering Spruitland supporter camping in a Hockey Canadian bus station says. “We came here hoping to score a goal in one of our seven matches – two goals if we were really lucky. Instead, we won almost every match we played, and made it to the semi final. It would be a bit silly to be disappointed now.”

A small minority of Spruitland supporters was far from pleased with the defeat though, and some voices even suggested the game was fixed by the Hockey Canadian referee, to pay us back for the embarrassing Quarter Final defeat.

“Nonsense,” coach Coach says. “It seems to be fashionable these days to blame bad results on the referee or hosts, but I’m not going down that road. It’s just sports, f’r cryin’ out loud, not something hugely important like… well, wait, scratch that, it is hugely important. But what I mean is, you just have to have faith that the referees know their job. If you don’t, you might as well stay home and do something less stressful, like scratching your balls.”

The Ice Bunnies now get to play a Consolation Match against Kalaallit Nunaat to decide third and fourth place, but the players don’t seem terribly concerned by that, having been on a non-stop partying spree since the end of their Semi Final match.

“To be honest, I can’t get the team motivated for that match,” coach Coach shrugs, “no matter how hard I try. The boys really wanted that winners trophy, so we could fill it up with beer for birthdays and special occasions. But that tiny little thing you get for third place just won’t fit that purpose. We’ll see how it goes though, maybe we’ll get lucky.”

((Damn Spriutland, nice job. It shoulda been you in the final!)

A short but very rich man cackled as he watched Iansisle defeat the over-confident Inuit side.

"Get me their King again," he said to a random lackey. "Let's see if he'd like to place a small wager."

Harlesburg set to make Millions

After putting high wages on TB to win things look rosy!

THE WINNER OF THE 13TH CHERRY CUP IS:

TANAH BURUNG CASSOWARIES

Tanah Burung- 4
Iansisle- 3

Consolation Round:

Kalaallit Nunaat- 2
Spruitland- 0

((Damn Spriutland, nice job. It shoulda been you in the final!)

(OOC:
Naah, it's ok. Glad my RPing had an effect, but it shouldn't be all-decisive, so losing against the 3rd and 4th ranked team is logical.

Congrats with the title, and congrats to KN with 3rd place. I'll RP later, need a break first. :))

((Damn Spriutland, nice job. It shoulda been you in the final!)

((Agreed. You're done a splendid job RPing this cup, Spriutland, and I would have liked to see you in the final. And it's not just because I probably could have beaten you! ;)))

One might make the mistake that the only sound rising over the Shield after that dark and dank day in Hockey Canada was the wailing of true Gulls fans.

However, in a labratory buried deep in the mountains of the Normarch, a man's angry voice rang off the hillsides.

"You told me that there was no way attaching a laser to my hockey stick could fail!"

"A slight miscalculation on my part - I did not anticipate the Robots being knocked out so early, nor did I anticipate those losers from Tanah Burung advancing so far," said a second, high-pitched voice, "But worry not - I have a new plan! Here, take this."

"What is it? It looks like pot."

"You're right, son, completely right! This is identical to marijuana leaf in nearly every way!"

"Nearly?"

"Hahaha! Let's just say that, when smoked by certain large, tropical, flightless birds, this leaf will produce such a painful sensation that they will - pardon the pun - wish they were being stoned!"

"It's hard to play hockey when you're in pain," said the first voice thoughtfully.

The second cackled. "I like you, Mr Langdone. Our minds work the same way."

Damn, didn't have time to RP the semis before the final result. And no time to write now either.

Um....

Moose!

Real post later on.

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y197/Spruitland/sportsgazette.jpg


Ice Bunnies settle for fourth

Kalaallit Nunaat – Spruitland: 2 – 0

For the so-called “consolation game” against Kalaallit Nunaat to decide third and fourth place, the Spruitland Ice Bunnies had to play outdoors for the first time in the tournament. Whether this was just a publicity stunt or all the rinks were flooded with the tears of weeping Hockey Canada supporters is not known, but in any case, the two teams faced each other on a frozen pond.

This location was not an advantage for the Ice Bunnies. The lack of boards meant it was somewhat difficult for them to smash their opponents into something – there were a few trees at the edge of the pond, but just a tad too far away – so a drastic change in tactics was needed. Apart from that, the players from tropical Spruitland were quickly suffering from severe cases of hypothermia.

It was therefore no surprise that Kalaallit Nunaat was 2-0 in the lead by the end of the first period. In a desperate attempt by coach Coach to turn the game around, the Ice Bunnies drank copious amounts of alcohol to warm up, and a few dozen portable heaters were placed around the play area.

This seemed to have a positive effect as the Spruitlanders started the second period with a lot more vigor. The effect on the ice of the pond, however, was not quite so positive, and it didn’t take more than a couple of minutes before both teams – benches included – crashed through it in a cloud of powdered snow.

Several dozen man-sized lumps of ice were rushed to the nearest community sized sauna, and the game was stopped, with 2-0 as the final score. Kalaallit Nunaat thereby wins the bronze in the Cherry Cup, while the Frozen Bunnies have to settle for fourth place.

“We’re pretty happy with that,” a shivering Spruitland supporter said, watching how the last lump of ice was being fished out of the pond. “True, being fourth is not as good as third, but it’s still better than fifth. And than sixth as well. And seventh. And –“ <snip> “ – and thirty second. So yeah, that’s pretty good. And maybe we’ll do even better next year.”

That is, if the Ice Bunnies are defrosted by then.

Radio Sports Radio

Banner day!

Rave al-Haj: Welcome to Radio Sports Radio, so radio-ish we named it twice! What a day it's been. Political freedom with the news that the evil colonial occupiers are taking their imperialist clogs and going home. But more importantly, the Cherry Cup! Drapes?

Drapes Berry: Yeah, great news, Rave. It's a second Cup for the Cassowaries, which is as many as any other country has won, and two more than the Very Angry Rabbits have ever managed, blast their furry hides. I'm as pleased as a bag of hair that's just been teased, permed and styled into a beehive. Go Cassowaries!

Rave: A bag of hare? You mean the Ice Bunnies?

Drapes: Nah, hair like you have on your head. And like i wish i still had on my head. We sure slaughtered those Ice Bunnies those, didn't we? Snerf.

Rave: So, is Tanah Burung now the greatest hockey team of all time?

Drapes: Greatest this year. And as good as anyone else, i reckon. We've won just as many Cups as Robotopolis now.

Rave: And just as many as Starblaydia, too.

Drapes: Don't talk about Starblaydia to me. I'm still upset about them choking after i bet my beer company on them to win back in CC10. X. Whatever.

Rave: And what a cham-peen-ship match, eh Drapes?

Drapes: A great old-time bit of shinny, yeah. A really pretty goal by Tarantula, and it was nice to see Alain score the empty-netter after all those cracks about his weight. Her weight? Which is it, i'm never sure?

Rave: I think you're supposed to alternate. Or possibly avoid the topic with an awkward silence.

Drapes: I don't do silence. Hey, what the hell's that?

Rave: Our special guest, Tanah Burung hockey sensation and man, er, creature of the match, Tarantula!

Taranutula: Hi! You're cute!

Rave: Er, thanks, I think. Now tell us, how did it feel to score the winning goal in the Cherry Cup final?

Tarantula: Swell! Hey, that man has a shiny head!

Drapes: Hey, eyes on the camera, you hairy man-eating freak.

Tarantula: Aw, you're mean.

Rave: I think what our viewers want to know, Tarantula, is just how you managed to deke around the defender like that. Especially with St-Amour on the ice, such a controlling presence normally.

Tarantula: Huh? Hockey is fun!

Rave: Well, you played a great tournament. You'll likely get your pick of endorsement contracts now. Anyone approached you yet?

Tarantula: Endoss Mints?

Rave: Endorsements.

Tarantula: That's what i said. Yummy. Is he an Endoss Mint?

With a hideous bone-crunching sound, the enormous creature reached out a hairy murderous leg, grabbed Drapes Berry, and devoured him whole.

Tarantula: Yuck. Too much bile in that one. Hey, you look nice!

Signal ends.