Bestiville
16-05-2005, 12:44
Lancre Cup X
Heat Two- Heerbee Jurraginz
Jamiezomonia versus Vtorbetin
‘Okay’ Tony Ingoe said, ‘We’ve got rid of the ‘plagues’ from heat 1. Heat 2 should run smoothly, yes?’
‘Don’t bet on in!’ a man at the back of the crowd shouted, before running away.
It’s true that the first half of the first match in heat 2 ran smoothly, to the joy of the BLF president, but as the Jamiezomonian and Vtorbetin team entered the pitch they were hit by some sudden erratic weather.
‘I’ve heard of rains of frogs, but assorted breakfast cereals? For gods sake, we’ll be picking Coco-pops off the grass for years to come.’
Most of the Jamiezomonian team seemed to be ‘Kellogg’s Crunchy Nuts’ (well it is ludicracly tasty) and were propelled by the energy that the cereal gave them.
‘We’d rather have a bowl of Coco-pops’ the Vtorbetin captain said.
The score was Jamiezomonia 4 Vtorbetin 1
---
Zamboni Island versus The Hartlot of Babylon
The second match of Heat 2 was between two teams who never made it past the heats last time, and so were both in a high chance of progressing to the Quarterfinals.
However, this match was ruined slightly because of a tiger running out into the middle of the pitch and scoring a goal for The Hartlot.
‘I’m Great’ he shouted, ‘Earn your stripes’.
He was then tranquillised and killed by several Zamboni island players.
The match ended Zamboni Island 2 The Hartlot of Babylon 3
---
Sirocco versus Bestiville
An uproar began in the pre-match preperation. It seemed that before the match Bestiville had snuck into the Siroccan Dressing room and stolen their boots in the hope that they really were as magic as it was claimed. This of course created all sorts of whining from the Siroccan side and all sorts of complaining from the Sirrocan general public- who were intent on winning the cup for a second time.
The Siroccan fans -in their huge numbers- then decided through obvious deep thinking that if Bestiville were to steal their boots then they’d steal all of the Bestiville team’s clothes. The clothes were hung from poles on the top of the stadium as the Siroccan fans chanted, ‘Go and get your clothes you naked losers!’.
The match wasn’t postponed, however. The Bestiville team, despite having magic boots, were obviously put off by the fact that they ONLY HAD MAGIC BOOTS, and lost.
‘Ach’ King Siroc spake, ‘We are on our way to winning the cup for a second time! I’ll become used to using it as a giant novelty beer tankard’
He then looked shiftily around.
‘Not that I do or anything…’
The final score was Sirocco 4 Bestiville 2
---
Gandhi followers versus Earth 2
‘Right men’, the Gandhi Follower captain shouted out onto the pitch, ‘Arm your weapons!’
This was how the match started, a bunch of ferocious Gandhi Followers arming Flame-throwers and grenade launchers.
The Earth 2 players hid behind the barriers and cried.
Upon being forced to get out onto the pitch by several of the new and improved LCOT (Lancre Cup Official Thugs) they then cowered as the Gandhi followers started their attacking formation.
‘Eeek!’ the Earth 2 goalie cried before leaping out of the Gandhi Followers way.
It looked like the match was well won for the Gandhi followers until the Earth 2 captain stood up to a flame-thrower wielding Gandhi follower. This was followed by a massive explosion.
‘How were we meant to know that Corn Flakes were flammable?’
The match ended Gandhi followers 4 Earth 2 0
Heat Two- Heerbee Jurraginz
Jamiezomonia versus Vtorbetin
‘Okay’ Tony Ingoe said, ‘We’ve got rid of the ‘plagues’ from heat 1. Heat 2 should run smoothly, yes?’
‘Don’t bet on in!’ a man at the back of the crowd shouted, before running away.
It’s true that the first half of the first match in heat 2 ran smoothly, to the joy of the BLF president, but as the Jamiezomonian and Vtorbetin team entered the pitch they were hit by some sudden erratic weather.
‘I’ve heard of rains of frogs, but assorted breakfast cereals? For gods sake, we’ll be picking Coco-pops off the grass for years to come.’
Most of the Jamiezomonian team seemed to be ‘Kellogg’s Crunchy Nuts’ (well it is ludicracly tasty) and were propelled by the energy that the cereal gave them.
‘We’d rather have a bowl of Coco-pops’ the Vtorbetin captain said.
The score was Jamiezomonia 4 Vtorbetin 1
---
Zamboni Island versus The Hartlot of Babylon
The second match of Heat 2 was between two teams who never made it past the heats last time, and so were both in a high chance of progressing to the Quarterfinals.
However, this match was ruined slightly because of a tiger running out into the middle of the pitch and scoring a goal for The Hartlot.
‘I’m Great’ he shouted, ‘Earn your stripes’.
He was then tranquillised and killed by several Zamboni island players.
The match ended Zamboni Island 2 The Hartlot of Babylon 3
---
Sirocco versus Bestiville
An uproar began in the pre-match preperation. It seemed that before the match Bestiville had snuck into the Siroccan Dressing room and stolen their boots in the hope that they really were as magic as it was claimed. This of course created all sorts of whining from the Siroccan side and all sorts of complaining from the Sirrocan general public- who were intent on winning the cup for a second time.
The Siroccan fans -in their huge numbers- then decided through obvious deep thinking that if Bestiville were to steal their boots then they’d steal all of the Bestiville team’s clothes. The clothes were hung from poles on the top of the stadium as the Siroccan fans chanted, ‘Go and get your clothes you naked losers!’.
The match wasn’t postponed, however. The Bestiville team, despite having magic boots, were obviously put off by the fact that they ONLY HAD MAGIC BOOTS, and lost.
‘Ach’ King Siroc spake, ‘We are on our way to winning the cup for a second time! I’ll become used to using it as a giant novelty beer tankard’
He then looked shiftily around.
‘Not that I do or anything…’
The final score was Sirocco 4 Bestiville 2
---
Gandhi followers versus Earth 2
‘Right men’, the Gandhi Follower captain shouted out onto the pitch, ‘Arm your weapons!’
This was how the match started, a bunch of ferocious Gandhi Followers arming Flame-throwers and grenade launchers.
The Earth 2 players hid behind the barriers and cried.
Upon being forced to get out onto the pitch by several of the new and improved LCOT (Lancre Cup Official Thugs) they then cowered as the Gandhi followers started their attacking formation.
‘Eeek!’ the Earth 2 goalie cried before leaping out of the Gandhi Followers way.
It looked like the match was well won for the Gandhi followers until the Earth 2 captain stood up to a flame-thrower wielding Gandhi follower. This was followed by a massive explosion.
‘How were we meant to know that Corn Flakes were flammable?’
The match ended Gandhi followers 4 Earth 2 0