Bestiville
15-05-2005, 12:31
Lancre Cup X
Heat 1- Chcot
Utter Complete Idiots versus GNY Embassy
The first match of the Tenth Lancre Cup got off to a shaky start as the whole pitch was beseeched by a plague of Locust, which temporarily terrorized the fans before a man with a giant Bug Spray can scared them off.
‘Booger off!’ the man said, with a strong Siroccan accent.
The pitch was in no way perfect for the game to be played on, even before the Locust.
‘A plague?’ the UCI manager told a group of press after the match, ‘our luck never changes. It seems that the whole of the Nationstates world is against us even winning ONE match. ONE! That’s all we ask for!’
He then ran off crying.
The final score was UCI 1 GNY Embassy 3
---
Tonca versus –Arynth-
‘Last time’, a Tonca player said, ‘Was not, I repeat, not a fluke. Just because the whole of the Lancre Cup was moved to Tonca for a couple of matches. We are here to prove that we can win without being in Tonca’
The Toncan fans were out in force; there was definitely a majority in their numbers than to any of the other sets of fans (except Siroccans). They were giving their full support to their team.
This was until a plague of frogs hit the stadium.
‘Oh for…’ The newly elected BLF President Tony Ingoe spoke, ‘I can truly see why the previous BLF president went mad’
The same Siroccan man running onto the pitch with a giant mallet saved the match.
‘Geet away!’ he shouted.
The match was a close affair, but it ended with an -Arynth- striker scoring a fantastic volley.
‘We are so proud to be going into the Quarter finals’ the –Arynth- manager said, ‘They will be fun’.
‘Damn.’ the Toncan manager shouted at us while getting on the plane back to Tonca.
The Game ended Tonca 2 –Arynth- 3
---
LostLotheria versus Hockey Canada
‘It’s our first Lancre Cup’ the Hockey Canada team said, ‘but we are playing to win. We’re not playing to “do our best”. Hell no, we’re playing to WIN’
‘Well we’re just playing to do better than last time.’ The LostLotheria team said, ‘That’s all that matters. That we do our best’
This was followed by roars of laughter from the Hockey Canada team.
‘You may laugh now, but let’s see who’s laughing at the end of the match!’
The LostLotheria team was filled with a new urge to totally embarrass the HC team, which would’ve gone off without a hitch if the whole pitch hadn’t been filled with a plague of Armored Scorpions.
‘Get oot of my coontry!’ the Siroccan man screamed, running at them with a chainsaw.
‘The Armored Scorpions were our first clue’ the BLF president said, ‘that these ‘Plagues’ were something to do with Dregruk. Why else would there be a bunch of Armored Scorpions in Sirocco?’
‘What?!’ the Dregruk manager said, ‘Our secret weapons have been escaping?’
The score was LostLotheria 2 Jockey Canada 1
---
Andrewmania versus Bongostan
The Bongostan team, who’d been very successful in the previous Cup, started the match with a small song and dance. The Lyrics were transcribed and are listed in full below.
‘We are going to win,
(Shuffles feet)
Don’t even try and stop us,
(Jumps one way, then the other)
We will smash you in the shin,
(Walks over to the Andrewmania team and wallops them in the shins)
So that you can’t win!
(Kicks the writhing Andrewmania team in the teeth)
Soundtrack available.
As the whole Andrewmania team were injured the match looked like a dead cert for Bongostan, but the surprise came when Andrewmania scored 2 goals in the first half. Just by limping with the ball into the goal.
‘Our defense, we must admit, wasn’t doing all that well…’
The second half was another well played half for Andrewmania, as they scored 2 goals. They thought it was all over until the amount of injury time was announced.
2 hours. There were quite a lot of injuries, after all.
The Andrewmania team eventually withered and fell over, to the jeering of the crowd and the joy of the Bongostan team as they scored 5 goals.
The final score was Andrewmania 4 Bongostan 5
Heat 1- Chcot
Utter Complete Idiots versus GNY Embassy
The first match of the Tenth Lancre Cup got off to a shaky start as the whole pitch was beseeched by a plague of Locust, which temporarily terrorized the fans before a man with a giant Bug Spray can scared them off.
‘Booger off!’ the man said, with a strong Siroccan accent.
The pitch was in no way perfect for the game to be played on, even before the Locust.
‘A plague?’ the UCI manager told a group of press after the match, ‘our luck never changes. It seems that the whole of the Nationstates world is against us even winning ONE match. ONE! That’s all we ask for!’
He then ran off crying.
The final score was UCI 1 GNY Embassy 3
---
Tonca versus –Arynth-
‘Last time’, a Tonca player said, ‘Was not, I repeat, not a fluke. Just because the whole of the Lancre Cup was moved to Tonca for a couple of matches. We are here to prove that we can win without being in Tonca’
The Toncan fans were out in force; there was definitely a majority in their numbers than to any of the other sets of fans (except Siroccans). They were giving their full support to their team.
This was until a plague of frogs hit the stadium.
‘Oh for…’ The newly elected BLF President Tony Ingoe spoke, ‘I can truly see why the previous BLF president went mad’
The same Siroccan man running onto the pitch with a giant mallet saved the match.
‘Geet away!’ he shouted.
The match was a close affair, but it ended with an -Arynth- striker scoring a fantastic volley.
‘We are so proud to be going into the Quarter finals’ the –Arynth- manager said, ‘They will be fun’.
‘Damn.’ the Toncan manager shouted at us while getting on the plane back to Tonca.
The Game ended Tonca 2 –Arynth- 3
---
LostLotheria versus Hockey Canada
‘It’s our first Lancre Cup’ the Hockey Canada team said, ‘but we are playing to win. We’re not playing to “do our best”. Hell no, we’re playing to WIN’
‘Well we’re just playing to do better than last time.’ The LostLotheria team said, ‘That’s all that matters. That we do our best’
This was followed by roars of laughter from the Hockey Canada team.
‘You may laugh now, but let’s see who’s laughing at the end of the match!’
The LostLotheria team was filled with a new urge to totally embarrass the HC team, which would’ve gone off without a hitch if the whole pitch hadn’t been filled with a plague of Armored Scorpions.
‘Get oot of my coontry!’ the Siroccan man screamed, running at them with a chainsaw.
‘The Armored Scorpions were our first clue’ the BLF president said, ‘that these ‘Plagues’ were something to do with Dregruk. Why else would there be a bunch of Armored Scorpions in Sirocco?’
‘What?!’ the Dregruk manager said, ‘Our secret weapons have been escaping?’
The score was LostLotheria 2 Jockey Canada 1
---
Andrewmania versus Bongostan
The Bongostan team, who’d been very successful in the previous Cup, started the match with a small song and dance. The Lyrics were transcribed and are listed in full below.
‘We are going to win,
(Shuffles feet)
Don’t even try and stop us,
(Jumps one way, then the other)
We will smash you in the shin,
(Walks over to the Andrewmania team and wallops them in the shins)
So that you can’t win!
(Kicks the writhing Andrewmania team in the teeth)
Soundtrack available.
As the whole Andrewmania team were injured the match looked like a dead cert for Bongostan, but the surprise came when Andrewmania scored 2 goals in the first half. Just by limping with the ball into the goal.
‘Our defense, we must admit, wasn’t doing all that well…’
The second half was another well played half for Andrewmania, as they scored 2 goals. They thought it was all over until the amount of injury time was announced.
2 hours. There were quite a lot of injuries, after all.
The Andrewmania team eventually withered and fell over, to the jeering of the crowd and the joy of the Bongostan team as they scored 5 goals.
The final score was Andrewmania 4 Bongostan 5