Pterodactylus
12-05-2005, 15:58
Billy Johnson, Pterodactylus' drink- and drug-addled President, still retains 66.666% popular support in the nation's electorate. However, his frequent gaffes and incidents have, in the words of Defence Minister Richard Kyte, "made this country a less humourless, and rather funny, place to live".
Here, for your amusement, are a selection of his best quotes and accounts of his incidents.
QUOTES:
"You know, last night I dreamt I was President. Pretty cool if I was, though, wouldn't it!"
"My attitude, in scholarly terms, is, very simply, purely, er...What's my attitude again?"
"I've never been in such a red herring versus spin doctor position"
"Pink slippers rule!"
"What!?! You mean, I can't shoot up during meetings?!? You're no fun...What harm can some illegal chemicals do?"
"My government is one big...erm...uh...ah...Chocolate lawnmower. That's it. I'm the cherry, Jake's the cream, Richard is...er...Richard, and everyone else can be the newspaper"
Incidents:
- Billy turns up at a news conferance wearing yellow "Barbie" pyjamas. When asked about his new policy on drinking, he replies: "Gimme a vodka, baby". He then leaps into the crowd, kicks in a journalist's camera, trips over a wire, knocks out his filling, and snoozes half-naked.
- One morning, Billy decides to surprise his ministers. So, he proceeds to attent the morning discussion armed with water bombs. However, the water reacts with some..er..dubious substances in his pocket, blowing his trousers off in the lobby. Undaunted, he then flashes a crowd of female ministers, who call the police.
- During a vote on a new proposal, Johnson violently accuses a backbench representative of farting. when she denies it, Billy repeatedly hits himself with a beer bottle, throws his microphone at the Culture minister, bites a chunk out of his platform and kicks in a wall before grabbing the rep, spitting at her and warning her "never darken my high score table again" He then reverses his vote, before getting angry and leaving.
- After a hard night's drinking, Billy attempts to drive home. He ends up rear-ending the Chief Of Police, who chase himuntil he drives into a bog. He then climbs up a tree, throws coconuts at the police and makes monkey noises before screaming "FAT CABBAGES!!!" and diving into the mud. He is arrested on dug posession charges after a search of his car uncovers narcotics, alcohol, and steroids.
Brpought to you by PTV World, for your amusement. :p
Here, for your amusement, are a selection of his best quotes and accounts of his incidents.
QUOTES:
"You know, last night I dreamt I was President. Pretty cool if I was, though, wouldn't it!"
"My attitude, in scholarly terms, is, very simply, purely, er...What's my attitude again?"
"I've never been in such a red herring versus spin doctor position"
"Pink slippers rule!"
"What!?! You mean, I can't shoot up during meetings?!? You're no fun...What harm can some illegal chemicals do?"
"My government is one big...erm...uh...ah...Chocolate lawnmower. That's it. I'm the cherry, Jake's the cream, Richard is...er...Richard, and everyone else can be the newspaper"
Incidents:
- Billy turns up at a news conferance wearing yellow "Barbie" pyjamas. When asked about his new policy on drinking, he replies: "Gimme a vodka, baby". He then leaps into the crowd, kicks in a journalist's camera, trips over a wire, knocks out his filling, and snoozes half-naked.
- One morning, Billy decides to surprise his ministers. So, he proceeds to attent the morning discussion armed with water bombs. However, the water reacts with some..er..dubious substances in his pocket, blowing his trousers off in the lobby. Undaunted, he then flashes a crowd of female ministers, who call the police.
- During a vote on a new proposal, Johnson violently accuses a backbench representative of farting. when she denies it, Billy repeatedly hits himself with a beer bottle, throws his microphone at the Culture minister, bites a chunk out of his platform and kicks in a wall before grabbing the rep, spitting at her and warning her "never darken my high score table again" He then reverses his vote, before getting angry and leaving.
- After a hard night's drinking, Billy attempts to drive home. He ends up rear-ending the Chief Of Police, who chase himuntil he drives into a bog. He then climbs up a tree, throws coconuts at the police and makes monkey noises before screaming "FAT CABBAGES!!!" and diving into the mud. He is arrested on dug posession charges after a search of his car uncovers narcotics, alcohol, and steroids.
Brpought to you by PTV World, for your amusement. :p